#pbs-firstlove

[pbs-theundeadmaggot]

first love // masterlist

(AU) Steve Harrington x fem!reader

Other works available here!

“Fresh out of a relationship you and your best friend Steve make a pact, if you’re both single at thirty you’d simply marry each other. What better then to marry someone who understood you in a way no other could? Someone that you would happily spend the rest of your life with (platonically of course). What could go wrong? It’s not like you were in love or something…

However, ten years later and still painfully single you wondered if the pact you’d made all those years ago were still valid, and if so did you stand a chance?”

.·。.·゜✭·.·✫·゜·。.

Something to believe (pt.1)

Smiling as I burn (pt.2)

lost between (pt.3)

Homesick (pt.4)

Before I cave in (pt.5)

The art of eye contact (pt.6)

fake fiction (pt.7)

slow burn (pt.8)

just pretend (pt.9)

alone [out of my head] (pt.10)

burial plot (pt.11)

paper heart (pt.12)

let go of your love (pt.13)

(pt.14) coming soon!

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[pbs-theundeadmaggot]

first love // Something to believe

🎶something to believe by painting promises

(AU) Steve Harrington x fem!reader

[a/n] back from the grave and ready to start writing again I introduce to you... a new series! this is just the beginning of a new and painful adventure for our favourite boy Stevie, hope you enjoy! btw the upside down doesn't exist, Eddie lives and Nancy isn't Steve's Ex (everything else is normal though).

[warnings] none!

first love masterlist here!

Almost thirty and still painfully single, you’d come to the conclusion that maybe love just wasn’t for you. Sure your parents and friends loved you but nobody was In Love with you. Since freshman year of high school you’d been aware of your lack of romantic interests, wether it was Chad from biology who asked you out as a dare or Jake from math who was about as interesting as watching paint dry, nobody had seen you; nobody had wanted you. 

Except for Steve.

At 14 you weren’t sure if it was his adorably nervous smile or shining brown orbs that drew you in but since the first moment your eyes met you fell head over heels for him. No matter how much your parents hounded you on your feelings for the cute chestnut haired boy you chalked everything down to a right place, right time kind of thing. In secret you were a fool in love, smiling like an idiot any time his name was mentioned and in public you were simply a best friend, his best friend.

 While time passed and fate crowned him as the infamous ‘King Steve’ your feelings never faltered. Growing day by day, minute by minute, even when you were deemed a glorified personal assistant by his other so called ‘friends’, shunned aside among the ‘peasants’ unworthy of a royalties precious time. Short lived but a monumental time in his life, he managed to find his way back to you, like magnets yearning to meet, no matter the circumstances you could never be apart for long.

At 19 after watching him go through his fair share of girl friends and hookups you finally realised it was better to keep your feelings hidden. After all, trading years of friendship for one night of pleasure wasn’t worth it, not when you could have every other part of him, any day of the week, forever. In fact, if that was all you’d ever be you were more than happy to have the privilege of admiring him from afar even when it meant you’d never get close enough to call him yours. 

By 20 you and Steve were still the bestest of friends, welcoming new additions to the ever growing group. The newest addition being Eddie Munson the resident 'freak' which he proudly claimed. Along with Robin and Nancy everything had been perfect, too perfect. That should've been the first red flag, the second being that you entertained the idea of falling for a guy named Christopher. You may not have loved him but that didn't make it any better when you found him in bed with one of his exes, his excuse being that he used your status as the 'golden girl' and best friend to the ex 'king' to make said ex jealous, no shocker but it worked.

You vividly remember Steve consoling you that same night, jokingly pointing out your awful taste in guys, if only he knew. Before stating something that would change the rest of your life forever.

Sat side by side basking in the humidity of the summer air you laughed and joked as Steve told you of yet another fail at family video. You had been sworn to secrecy as he recalled tripping over in order to escape one of his overly enthusiastic past hookups. Knowing full well if Dustin ever found out Steve would never know peace again.

You don't know quite how long had passed between the jokes and the comfortable silence that currently surrounded you, but you decided that if you had to stay in one moment forever, it would be right now. The warm beer in hand and head rested on Steve's shoulder as you watched the night pass by could never compare to the nights you'd spent alone or with Christopher. Steve was your home and you were his. Which is why he knew he had to take a chance. A very stupid, idiotic chance, but a chance nonetheless.

A pact.

If the two of you remained single at 30 you'd marry each other. It was a no brainer. There would be no more question about when you would finally settle down and find a decent husband, but it also satisfied the stupid societal standard of the white picket fence dream. Although, what that meant would entail was to be worried about at a later point. Besides, who knew if the pact would still be valid in 24 hours, let alone another ten years.

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[a/n] Reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated and encouraged!

other works available here!

Tagging some mutuals who might be interested? @munsonsreputation @sweetpeapod @mysticmunson @acourtofsnakes @jesus-in-the-womb @chvoswxtch

[pbs-theundeadmaggot]

first love // before I cave in

🎶 before I cave in by too close to touch

(AU) Steve Harrington x fem!reader

[a/n] so I just found out my mum has cancer so updates will probably be weekly from now on (sorry) but I'm still excited for where this series is going and hopefully you enjoy it!

[warnings?] underage drinking, angst, self doubt, bad parents.

first love masterlist here!

The sticky summer’s heat clung to the cheap fabric of your sweater, the gentle breeze doing nothing to help cool you down and even though you may have been overheating, you’d rather take that chance and feel protected by the comfort of your sweater then to feel the unnerving chill that was bound to be a constant within the small tunnels of the Catacombs. 

Why you were visiting a mass grave you weren’t entirely sure other than the fact that Eddie had insisted on it, saying that it was possibly the most metal thing he’d ever experience in his life. Although, you weren’t sure anything could beat the time Jason Carver swapped Eddie’s clothes out for a cheerleaders uniform during gym. Thankfully leaving a pair of shorts behind so he wasn’t flashing the entirety of Hawkins at once. Much to Jason’s dismay not only did Eddie pull off the awkward fit of the outfit but he also managed to gain a handful of new ‘sheep’ to carry on the legacy of the Hellfire club after he graduated. Which subsequently also turned him into a living legend of the former freak turned rockstar that would continue to live on within the trauma ridden hallways of the school for many years later. 

Yeah, that was once pretty epic day.

“Ready to go?” The living legend said himself before wrapping his arms around both you and Robin as you followed the tour guide into the ancient passages. 

It was unnerving seeing the thousands of bodies stacked upon each other, simply as if their bones held no meaning and served as a reminder that the world keeps moving even after your death, that one day you would cease to exist in both memory and real life. The only sound to be heard for miles being the echoing crunch of shoes on gravel and the voice of your tour guide leading you around. The air was thick and heavy almost claustrophobic as if there were one too many people in the room yet only 10 silhouettes were reflected under the dark dingy lights, 5 of which belonged to you and your friends. 

“look bats!” You’d excitedly whispered to the group as you pointed them out, the creatures almost hidden away in the far corner of the ruins. For as long as you could remember you’d always preferred animals over humans, being somewhat anti-social and having absent family meant you spent a lot of time alone with nothing but nature to surround you, the peaceful hustle and bustle of the woods bringing you a sense of comfort and relief when you needed it.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

"Both of you sprawled out across your bedroom floor giggling like school girls half drunk and flushed, window wide open and curtains lightly fluttering from the wind. High school was officially over and adulthood was quickly approaching, neither of you feeling like partying but opting to stay at home together, taking in the final moments before you returned to the ‘real world’.  

Although you’d both been forced to grow up long before you were meant to, it didn’t mean the idea of becoming a real adult was any less scary. After all you’d watched your parents fall in and out of love, working 9-5 in a depressingly boring job and become hollow lifeless shells of people they used to be. Where once upon a time they had a love for life, a love for you, until money and status grabbed a hold of them like a disease, outweighing everything else that mattered until they were left with nothing but their greediness to comfort them. 

Perhaps that’s why you and Steve were so close, because you understood each others troubles and both just longed for someone to see you and love you as you are. The sleepless nights spent talking about anything and everything or just being alone together were something you would’t trade even if your life depended on it, just like tonight.

Steve could tell your mind was running rampant with thoughts and fear, the frown on your face evidence enough. He hated how your parents treated you, terms and conditions attached to their love as if you owed them, to him he would happily walk through fire and burn in hell if it meant he got a chance to show you how much he adored you. Nonetheless the dread of being rejected meant he would only ever do so platonically because he’d rather have you as a friend then lose you as a lover. 

“If you could be any animal what would it be?” He’d cleverly lured you away from your darkness hoping it would be enough to keep the pain away a little while longer. 

You on the other hand, turned towards Steve, observing his every move as if you were scared he was a figment of your imagination and would disappear any second. You knew he knew what you were thinking about, and you gladly accepted the distraction.

“Hmm, I think I’d be a bat.” Truth be told this was something you thought of often enough to have a solid answer for.

“what?” Steve had turned towards you now, propping himself up with his arms and stealing a swig from the wine he’d smuggled over. 

“You know what a bat is Steve” It came out as more of a question than a statement but you continued on. “Bats do almost everything upside down and the equivalent of their meals to ours would be like 20 pizzas every night.” 

“You must really like pizza to want to eat 20 every day for the rest of your life.” He teased, running a hand through his soft untamed hair. 

“Well who doesn’t like pizza?” You waited for an answer but thankfully got none. “What would you be?” 

Although you saw him almost every day you couldn’t deny that somehow he got more attractive each time. Wether it was the alcohol or mutual attraction talking you couldn’t take your eyes off his features that were ingrained in your memory like a scar you never wanted to fade. From the light freckles kissing his skin to the gentle curve of his nose and slightly flushed face, every part of him was beautiful like he’d been carved by a god and blessed with holy water. And the way he looked at you sometimes, made you feel like the only girl in the world, his soft eyes gleaming with what you hoped to be love but settled with fondness, perhaps in another lifetime you could be more.

You didn’t realise you’d blanked out until you saw his large hand waving in front of your face. “Anyone there?” It had gone way past midnight by now, waves of sleepiness crashing over you both waiting to pull you under. 

“Sorry what were you saying.” Slightly embarrassed to be caught thinking about your best friend in such a way.

“If you’re a bat I wanna be a bat too.” He’d said so earnestly practically melting you under his stare. The room fell into a comfortable silence both just soaking in the moment before sleep drowned you both." 

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

“ew they’re so ugly.” Rebecca had murmured out, holding tightly onto Steve’s arm as she pulled him away. “Babe I’m bored can we go now?”

You’d arrived no less than 20 minutes ago but of course Steve just let her yap on like a little lap dog, fuck she was making it hard to accept her and it was only two days in.

No.

You wont be that person.

She was probably just having a bad day or maybe she was scared of the dark? 

You didn’t not like her….?

you liked her?

Yeah that wasn’t convincing…

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

[a/n] Reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated and encouraged!

other works available here!

taglist: @freezaz123

[pbs-theundeadmaggot]

first love // smiling as I burn

🎶 smiling as I burn by capsize

(AU) Steve Harrington x fem!reader

[a/n] just a filler part for now but its gonna get difficult from here on out, if you want your feelings hurt look out for the next part! hopefully coming by the end of the week

[warnings?] hurt feelings (I promise it will get better... at some point)

first love masterlist here!

For such an ungodly hour of the morning anyone would’ve thought you’d drunk your weight in coffee beforehand, that mixed in with a ten hour flight was a blackout waiting to happen. However, Robin couldn’t be mad by your energetic exterior which strongly juxtaposed her somewhat agitated mood, after all she knew what you and Steve shared was special and as much as she hated cliches, you were meant to be. 

It had taken months of difficult conversations over multiple bottles of wine for you to even admit that you still held feelings for the chocolate haired boy. It wasn’t a secret amongst the group but more of an unspoken thing that you kept buried deep inside, to be dealt with at a later date except the date had come. In less than a month you’d be turning thirty and joining the “thirty, flirty and thriving” crew although for you it leaned more towards the “thirty, unflirty and crying” crew. Hopefully Steve could change that for you and not just because of the pact you’d made almost ten years ago. 

“Thank fuck, one more minute being the third wheel to the lovebirds and I would’ve gladly thrown myself out the car, ruined the hair and all.” The unmistakably boyish voice of Eddie echoed through the quiet terminal entrance. Unable to process his words Robin had thankfully shot him a glare before grabbing ahold of your shoulders and pulling you towards the nearest restroom, aware Eddie would be stalling the pair for the sake of your sanity that quickly slipped away.

“Are you okay?” Robin’s usually husky voice replaced by a softer and almost pitiful one. You were pretty sure the world has stopped spinning, unsure if you could even speak or if you were stunned into silence. The only feeling that rushed through every fibre of your body being an uncomfortable ache that settled deep into the roots of your bones as if making a permanent home there. Loss and grief hitting you and for what?, for someone who was never yours in the first place. Not only had you missed your chance at possibly being more than a best friend, but now you’d also lost the opportunity to tell him explicitly how you felt. The self-doubt weighing down on your previously worn out and tired heart as you pondered on how exactly you were going to survive a ten hour flight let alone a week with both Steve and his girlfriend. 

“Look I’m sure its not that serious after all he would’ve told us if it was. And you know what Eddie’s like, he probably misread the whole situation.” Attempting to get any sign of life from your statuesque state, the only give away that you were in fact breathing and alive being the gentle rise and fall from your chest and the uncontrollable blinking in an effort to stop the tears that pooled at the corners of your eyes from falling like a waterfall. 

“You reckon Eddie has any pills on him right now?” Breaking the dragging silence. “Shit, maybe I should just go check before he scoffs them all.” You babbled trying anything to keep your mind from racing with thoughts about the man who stood less than 20ft away with what seems to be the love of his life, wrapped in his stupidly comfortable arms probably listening to the annoyingly calming beat of his heart, the heart that also most likely beat just for her, like she was the reason he was alive. The reason for being.

 Fuck it was going to be a long trip.

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

[a/n]Reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated and encouraged!

other works available here!

want to be tagged in the next part? leave a comment

taglist: @freezaz123

[pbs-theundeadmaggot]

first love // paper heart

🎶 paper heart by dayseeker

(AU) Steve Harrington x fem!reader

[a/n] I'm sorry its been so long, life has been pretty chaotic but I'm slowly finding the time to write again.

[warnings?] self doubt, toxic relationship, angst and uncertainty.

first love masterlist here!

You’d been up since the early hours of the morning, watching the sunrise roll in with it’s inky colours fading into a warm hue as time passed slowly. The calm breeze and the faint chatter of the city calming you from the raging thoughts that swarmed your mind as you mulled over each decision that led you to this point.

Against your better judgement you’d followed Robin’s advice and messaged Julien accepting his offer of a date which was rapidly approaching. On one hand you were rather excited, not having been asked out in a while however, you also couldn’t help but feel guilty. Not wanting to hurt Steve’s feelings, for whatever dumb reason that may be, but alas you had to help yourself out and try to move on. 

Feeling eyes on you, you look over towards Robin who lay sprawled out on her bed, shooting you her infamous knowing look, eyes speaking a whole conversation within the comfortable silence of the room. The low lights bounced off her prominent features, casting a cognisant expression over her face. You’re thinking too loud. 

Of course she knew what was bothering you, shooting her the exact same look she’d just given, not wanting to admit it out loud, feeling stupid enough as it is worrying over a boy. A boy that held your entire being in the palm of his hands without even realising it.

Breaking you from your thoughts once again she reached over squeezing your hand, silently telling you that it was time to try and move on. Sighing loudly and brushing a hand through your hair you stood up smoothing the crinkled sheets of your bed out and gathering up the personal belongings scattered across the room, stuffing them into your purse before waving goodbye and heading off to your date.

.·。.·゜✭·.·✫·゜·。.

 Meanwhile, Steve was pacing the length of his hotel room, thoughts swarming his mind as he thought about what the fuck he was supposed to do now. Pretty soon you’d be going on your date with Julien and if Steve was the master of anything, it was catastrophising. In his mind he’d already married you off with kids and a white picket fence dream, while he remained alone and stuck to the shadows of his old ways, the chains of his past leaving him bound and unable to break the cycle. When in fact, the reality to everyone else involved in the whole situation, knew the date was nothing but a weak attempt to forget the infamous Harrington boy that held the only key to her heart.

Rebecca had long left the room, still angry from the night before where the two realised the harsh truths that spilled from their mouths, the venomous words slowly seeping into the fragile remains of their relationship before killing it for good. He should’ve felt guilty, perhaps hurt and embarrassed that he’d been so foolish and quick to believe the sweet words that fell from her mouth, coaxing him into an pathetically obedient state that he’d only just managed to escape. Yet he didn’t have it in him to feel anything other than joy at the realisation that maybe just maybe he had a chance with you. 

He should’ve followed his heart from the very beginning, wasting so much time being afraid of losing what you had that you didn’t realise until it was almost lost. Confusion and doubt still weighed heavy in the air, uncertainty hitting him like his father used to, the pain giving him an unusually grounding feeling in this very moment. 

Fuck what his parents wanted for him. Fuck what Rebecca wanted from him. It was his life and if he couldn’t even tell you, his best friend and love of his life the truth then what did that say about him? No. He needed to do this now, there was no time to dwell on the what ifs, especially not with losing you on the very line right now. 

He loved you

He loves you. 

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

[a/n] I know its not super long but reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated and encouraged, see you guys in the next part!

other works available here!

Taglist: @freezaz123

[pbs-theundeadmaggot]

first love // alone (out of my head)

🎶 alone (out of my head) by thousand below

(AU) Steve Harrington x fem!reader

[a/n] ngl I dont love this filler part but hopefully it isn't too bad, we're officially half way through now. Hopefully Steve ups his game if he wants us or will the new guy get lucky at winning your heart?

[warnings?] insecurities, drinking, mentions of cheating, self-doubt.

first love masterlist here!

Looking in the mirror and smoothing down the sides of your dress you couldn’t help feeling somewhat stupid. The dress looked amazing on you, the soft fabric hugging your body in the most flattering way. Even Robin complimented your look which coming from her were a rare occurrence, usually reserved for her girlfriend and their cat.

you just wished you felt as good as you looked.

 Instead the reflection staring back at you felt like a stranger, the image taunting you with a life you could’ve had and perhaps in another life you did have. Maybe you’d be going out on a romantic date or celebrating a wedding anniversary, anything seemed better than what was on the horizon, with your luck you’d be attending wedding after wedding within the next year, all a reminder of how single and unwanted you are.

.·。.·゜✭·.·✫·゜·。.

You’d yet to go out into the city at night, not realising how magical it looked with the lights shimmering and bouncing off the still water. It felt like stepping into another dimension, people scattered around laughing and chattering away with not a care in the world, the smell of cigarettes and salt never seemed so enticing. 

As expected Rebecca had got you all into a ridiculously expensive restaurant downtown, everyone that entered looking like they walked straight out of a vogue magazine, the diamonds on their jewellery most likely costing more than all four of you put together, excluding Rebecca for obvious reasons. 

Glancing over at Steve you could tell he was nervous, continually tugging on the collar of his dress shirt, the light layer of hairs that peppered across his chest peaking through and the sweat glistening on his neck. 

Just the sight of him had you restless in your seat.

Clinging to his free arm stood Rebecca, walking over with a sickly sweet smile and taking a seat with Steve trailing behind her. You’d grown accustomed to her overly dramatic and draining conversation, learning to zone out and enjoy the view (the free food certainly didn’t hurt either.) 

In the distance you could make out the shadow of the Eiffel Tower, in all its glory lit up like a Christmas tree. The sunset in the horizon framing it’s detail and outlining the rows of buildings that stood nearby. Originally your plan had been to confess to Steve up there, the hope blooming in your chest as you thought back to all the little things that hinted Steve shared your feelings. As delusional as it sounds you truly thought you’d get your happy ending, after everything that’s happened how could you not?

Perhaps you would get your happy ending

Just not with Steve.

.·。.·゜✭·.·✫·゜·。.

The meal was surpassingly nice, either you had one too many drinks or Rebecca had magically become mute, you weren’t complaining. In fact, some guy the bar had been kind enough to send over drinks, sending you a shy smile before resuming his conversation with the bartender.

Unsure of how much time had passed before stumbling out of the restaurant with the others and hailing a taxi, the chill of the late night air sending shivers down your spine. Steve had somehow noticed this quickly pulling his jacket off and attempting to hand it over before Rebecca stopped him. Completely oblivious to the lovers quarrel that began to take place, the same guy who’d sent you drinks walked over, doing the exact same as Steve had tried to do, this time successful.

“You really don’t need to do that.” Stunned at his kind gesture as he assured you that he couldn’t ‘watch a pretty girl go cold’. The heat from the alcohol rising to your cheeks, swaying slightly as you laughed, believing he was but a figment of your imagination. 

“I’m sorry if this is too forward but do you think I could get your number?” Unlike Steve’s usually charm when asking a girl out, the stranger stumbled over his words, nervously running a hand through his hair, awaiting your answer. 

Part of you felt conflicted, it had been so long since you’d dated you weren’t even sure if you knew how to. The last date you got asked on having been years ago when you were still obliviously hung up on Steve you’d profusely apologised, feeling that if you went on this date it would be the same as cheating, and if there was one thing you hated it was cheaters. 

Obviously you weren’t actually in a relationship with Steve at the time (or ever) you still couldn’t bring yourself to look elsewhere, but now things had changed. Still single and under no obligations to remain faithful to someone who acted like a ghost half the time, you accepted. Excited at the prospect of someone realising the potential you had, even if it was a one night stand or a short fling you were happy, happy that someone actually wanted you, that someone actually saw you. 

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

[a/n] reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated and encouraged!

Other works available here!

Taglist: @freezaz123

[pbs-theundeadmaggot]

first love // burial plot

🎶 burial plot by dayseeker

(AU) Steve Harrington x fem!reader

[a/n] tell me why I find it easier to write Steve’s pov than readers…? like it’s weird I get writers block and then im like ‘oh I know I’ll write as Steve’ and boom all the answers are unlocked. Anyways that aside I was planning to release this part tomorrow but im inpatient as hell and can’t wait any longer because I low-key love this piece. Enjoy!

[warnings?] thoughts of cheating, doubt, obliviousness, jealousy, slightly toxic relationship

first love masterlist here!

Tossing and turning, unable to sleep Steve rose from the shared bed and unwrapped Rebecca’s arms from his waist. He should’ve felt guilty for thinking of you when he was here with her but he couldn’t help it. He knew he was done for the moment you looked at him with wide eyes and a shy smile, tonight just solidified his feelings even more.

If only the sickening sight of you and the stranger didn’t plague his dreams. He couldn’t even be that mad anyone would be grateful to call you theirs, so why did the thought hurt so much? As if the question even mattered because it was clear as day why, he just didn’t want to admit it.

You were beautiful beyond belief, he could’ve sworn he’d stopped breathing, if it wasn’t for Rebecca’s sharp nails digging into his side reminding him of the mess he’d made he would’ve thought he’d died and gone to heaven.

Picking his phone up from the nightstand and pulling a sweater on he beelined towards Eddie’s room needing someone to vent to. Eddie had known Steve loves you, he just didn’t realise it how deep his love went, assuming it was a brotherly kind of love perhaps even at one point a crush but never in love.

Steve had tried to keep his feelings on the low down, in fact he was sure that the older he got the better he hid it. After all everyone thought he had a crush on you back in high school, assuming with his reputation and noncommittal ways he’d gotten over it eventually. 

He knew now that he hadn’t and with that meant Rebecca had also discovered his secret. Of course she was far from happy, the argument from earlier still ringing in his ears as he thought of how angry she’d gotten, throwing insult after insult not caring about how low she stooped as long as it hurt him.

However, as bad as it was she still ended up clinging to his side, refusing to let go. Any other time he would’ve found it endearing, borderline sickening how in love they were, his younger self probably gagging at how whipped he was, but now it truly left him feeling slimy. Her touch going from being a source of comfort and happiness to now feeling suffocating and anxiety inducing, just like her behaviour had changed and evolved eerily similar to his parents. 

Confused and downright exhausted he’d knocked on Eddie’s door, beyond ecstatic when he wasn’t turned away but welcomed in, just like old times. The two hadn’t always been as close as they were now, coming from two different worlds and struggling to accept themselves for who they were, led them to only really hang out when it was with the rest of the group. However, over the years with all the ups and downs of life they’d found common ground and built a solid friendship. 

.·。.·゜✭·.·✫·゜·。.

Winter of 89 had been a long one, the storms and the snow never-ending driving many to wind up on the brink of homelessness. Unfortunately, Eddie and Wayne had ended up in that exact situation and if it hadn’t been for Steve they may not have survived. Weeks were spent unable to do anything but sit and wait for the snow to melt, with the daily meet-ups and weekly movie nights being cancelled for the foreseeable future.

When Steve had opened his home to the Munson duo they had been reluctant, with their pride and independence on the line they refused to give up so easily. Stating that they’d be fine and that they’d figure something out, to which Steve outright refused almost embarrassingly begging them, stating that he would not be his parents.

He had the space and the finances to support them during this time, more than happy to help a friend out knowing Eddie or any one of his friends would do the same for him. To much debate they finally gave in and in the three weeks that they’d stayed at Steve’s they’d grown on each other. Wayne became a second dad to Steve, or a first one assuming his dad could even be called one. Like the family he’d never had, he realised then what it meant to be loved unconditionally. Their support and willingness to take him in, despite it being his home made him want to cry at the feelings it evoked. He’d forever be grateful for all they taught him, regardless of if they knew exactly how much they did for him. 

.·。.·゜✭·.·✫·゜·。.

“You’re in love. What more do you want me to say?” Eddie said matter of factly, munching on a bag of chips and pointing out the obvious like always. 

“No shit Sherlock, how’d you figure that out?” Whacking him lightly on the head with a pillow before pointing out that his question didn’t require an answer.

“You’ve been in love with her for years and you’re only just figuring it out?” To Eddie it wasn’t as complicated as Steve was making it, the truth was plain as day and there was no denying it.“Stop pacing you’re stressing me out.” It was now Eddie’s turn to whack Steve, although slightly harder than intended, hoping it would stop Steve from wearing out the floor.

“What do you expect me to do? Knock on her door and tell her the truth? Besides the guy that asked her out earlier probably had a better chance than me.” The two had now transitioned into whisper shouting, Steve rambling on about why it was complicated and why he’d pretend this realisation never happened.

After much debate Eddie was the one to smack Steve with a dose of reality, pointing out how in love with him you were. “If you love her like you say you do then own up to it. She’s waited around long enough and she most certainly wont wait around any longer.” 

“What about my girlfriend?” 

“Break up with her.” No wonder he was still single if that was his advice.

“Time Magazine was right about you, you really are a heartbreaker.” Teasingly saying as Eddie ushered him out with a grin. He knew how much Eddie despised the media, constantly harassing him and spreading rumours around as easy as breathing air. 

“Fuck off” There was no malice behind his words, knowing that the following the days would sure be interesting to say the least. Slamming the door and leaving Steve to wonder off back to his room, alone and ready to deal with the upcoming fallout that was bound to arise.

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[a/n] reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated and encouraged!

Other works available here!

Taglist: @freezaz123

[pbs-theundeadmaggot]

first love // slow burn

🎶slow burn by the world alive

(AU) Steve Harrington x fem!reader

[a/n] as promised this is from Steve's perspective, but be warned things are about to get messy from here on out...

[warnings?] angst ofc, sorta manipulation, oblivious idiots

first love masterlist here!

Hiraeth- the longing for a home to which you can’t return, a home which maybe never was. A devastatingly beautiful word that Steve found resonated deep within him, burying itself inside his hollow soul. It seemed no matter what he did or where he went he would never feel at ease, constantly on alert like a lion being stalked by its prey, all until one day everything went quiet. 

You were both kids when you first met, wide eyed and ready for an adventure, even if that meant doing things you would most definitely regret later on. Nonetheless you’d made years worth of memories within the first couple months of your ever-growing friendship, memories you wouldn’t trade for anything or anyone. From the time you’d slept outside with nothing but a couple pillows and blankets to keep you warm, resulting in a horrible cold turned flu for the both of you, or the time you thought it would be funny to tie yourselves to each other for the day, ending up with you breaking your arm and Steve getting his first of many black eyes. 

He was there when when your world got turned upside down, he’d watched from afar when your parents began to turn, their usually happy go lucky attitude morphing into that of a monster, offering you comfort when you needed and a safe place to rest your tired eyes. He became the constant that you so desperately seeked and in return you gave him a reason to wake up every morning, you were the quiet breaking through his horrifyingly loud mind. 

He couldn’t understand the rapid beat of his heart threatening to break through his rib cage whenever you got too close, nor the sweaty palms he’d find himself constantly wiping to avoid disgusting you, as if that could ever happen. Spending almost a decade of never thinking twice about his feelings it wasn’t until the end of 86’ when Robin started dating Vicky that he realised what love really was. Forget all the sappy smooth sailing bullshit, he’d watched the two be forced to love in secret. To keep their relationship on the down low for their own safety and despite all of their hardships, years later they were getting ready to move onto the next chapter of their lives, together. 

Love wasn’t something obvious and sickening. It wasn’t something that screamed obnoxious and in your face. Love was silent and deadly, it took its time wiggling its way inside of you until you were too far gone to realise. Love was addicting and unexpected, the quiet he felt with you grounding and allowing him a second chance at living. It was obvious but scary, yet somehow so enticing he would happily get burnt if it meant you would love him as he loved you. 

Love was the small actions that showed you cared, it was the non-sexual but intimate afternoons spent lazing around talking about everything and nothing. It was only then that it dawned on Steve that he was in love with you, but with that revelation came the panic and fear gripping ahold of him and sending him into overdrive.

Love was what led him to now. Unlike the fairytales love was like anything; poisonous and fatal at uncontrolled doses. It was the ignorance of thinking only you knew best without informing the other party. Love was a darkness that grew bitter if not tended to, the rain cloud that fogged your thoughts and led to stupid avoidable mistakes. Love was a chance, a bet, the fate of your future left in the hands of uncertainty, the pain of losing someone you never had in the first place. 

Rebecca was a welcome convenience, causing a tornado of emotions that allowed him to get so caught up in the whirlwind that was her that he’d forgotten the calm and comfort of you. Almost unconsciously he set her up to fail by putting her on a pedestal so high up it was impossible to reach. After all you were the one he held a candle for, the one who ran around him mind endlessly, you were imperfectly perfect that nobody could ever compare. 

Although, at the time he hadn’t thought too much about it, living for the now and acting on impulses he should’ve got under control a long time ago. The distance between you and him had begun to stretch months before he’d met her, neither of you knowing what to do about it or why it was happening. From the constant excuses from either side and the busy schedules it was easy to forget what you had, especially since both of you were in denial, choosing to carry the burden to the grave then to be free once and for all. 

Luckily Steve had been digging his grave for a while, with the fear of returning to the surface weighing down on him he continued to dig until he couldn’t any more. At a standstill unsure of what to do he stood up taking the pack of smokes from the nightstand and stumbling his way to the balcony leaving an upset Rebecca alone in the unwelcoming bed originally meant for you and him.

.·。.·゜✭·.·✫·゜·。.

[a/n] reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated and encouraged!

Other works available here!

Taglist: @freezaz123

[pbs-theundeadmaggot]

first love // just pretend

🎶 just pretend by bad omens

(AU) Steve Harrington x fem!reader

[a/n] sorry this part is late, but it's here. The dinner scene will be released sometime next week so watch out for that :) also idk what's up with the links right now but you should be able to find all the previous parts at // pbs-firstlove

[warnings?] toxic behaviour, arguing, oblivious idiots in love, angst.

first love masterlist here!

The warmth of your bed seemed so much more inviting than the cool early morning breeze that made its way through the open window of your hotel room. The thought of spending time with Rebecca had you reverting you back to your childhood days, where you’d pretend to be sick to get out of school. Unfortunately for you there was no getting out of the day ahead, Rebecca going out of her way to cancel the original plans of visiting the Notre Dame Cathedral and booking a spa day instead. 

A part of you was mad that she hadn’t consulted with the rest of the group about the change of plans however, the broken hearted tired side needed a break and a spa day seemed like the ideal distraction, so with sleep still clouding your vision and reluctance running through your veins you eventually forced yourself out of bed, much to Robin’s dismay. 

It was no secret she wasn’t too interested in typically girly things, much preferring shorts over skirts and sneakers over heels, which in part you agreed, but the idea of getting half naked with a random persons hands all over you, that was step too far for her. Again you somewhat agreed but if you were being forced to go you sure as hell would be taking her down with you. 

Steve had pulled you aside yesterday evening after the zoo trip, mentioning that Rebecca was feeling left out and pleading with you to help her feel welcome, as if you hadn’t been trying to do that from the moment you first met her. 

While you’d noticed the cold shoulder Robin and Eddie had given her, you had told them explicitly that you didn’t want to get in the way of Steve’s relationship, if he liked her than it was to be respected. After all he was a grown up and he could decide what and who he did, as long as he’s happy who were you to say otherwise? But there were only so many digs you could take before you realised that regardless of Steve’s thoughts, you didn’t have to like her, required you could at least tolerate her.

.·。.·゜✭·.·✫·゜·。.

The heat of the sauna clung to your body like a second skin, the stark contrast between the humidity in the air and the cold tiles of the floor had you halfway to heaven, even Robin could agree. The nostalgic feeling of being stuck in a never-ending lecture that just so happened to be the perfect temperature for a nap. In this case the lecture being Rebecca’s non-stop talking about her perfect life, making it known to you that being left out was not the problem nor was lack of bonding, rather using it as an excuse to flaunt her wealth and status, attempting to prove that she was and would always be better than you.

It was times like this you were humbled greatly knowing that while you were cut from the same cloth she was (metaphorically) you saw the privilege and advantage your family’s wealth could bring, but chose to deny it, not wanting to be swayed by the destruction and disease it brought. Instead deciding to pave your own way and work just as hard as anyone else to earn your living, even if it meant struggling would be inevitable.

No amount of wealth could dictate your happiness.

Steve used to believe that too.

“I found a ring in his pocket, can you believe it? He’s definitely going to propose, I just know it I mean look at me, he’d be lucky to marry me.” The previous ramblings had gone over your head, it was almost unfortunate this one didn’t. 

The smirk plastered across her face was enough to fill you with dread, the images that you’d once pictured yourself in, now plagued with her and him. They’d only been dating a few months surely he wouldn’t jump in so quickly? The only thought floating around your brain now being that he really did love her.

Not you.

.·。.·゜✭·.·✫·゜·。.

The smell of lavender and eucalyptus strangled your senses in a sort of comforting way, eyes almost watering at the thick scent that wafted through the air upon your arrival. Laying down on the padded beds, soft cotton hugging your skin as the masseuse got to work. Practically left in a catatonic state as the hour passed far too quickly for your liking and drew to a close, you knew you had to get back to reality sooner rather than later. 

You had some time before you needed to meet the rest of the group for dinner, deciding to go for a walk and take in the scenery over staring at the four white walls of the hotel room that you’d got to know almost too well. It hadn’t crossed your mind to let the others know where you were, assuming that everyone else would be going about their day as they pleased, so stuffing your phone away in the back pocket of your shorts and letting your legs take you wherever, oblivious to the panic that ran rampant in Steve’s mind.

.·。.·゜✭·.·✫·゜·。.

It had been hours since anyone had seen you, no messages or voicemails, the silence dragging on and on while Steve paced up and down the perimeter of his hotel room. He should’ve noticed it sooner, he should’ve known something like this would happen. 

He knew you were mad at him and he knows he hurt you. The guilt lurking around in the back of his mind unable let him forget how shitty he’d been. All of this was his fault and instead of trying to fix the problem, he’d dug the hole deeper and deeper.

Rebecca was fuming, watching her boyfriend worry about another women when she was right in front of him but no amount of tantrums to take his mind of you. She’d insisted that you were doing this on purpose, lying through her teeth about the awful things you’d said to her, crocodile tears pouring down her cheeks in an attempt to shift his focus elsewhere. 

This of course led to an argument with both of them spitting venomous words at each other, fighting fire with fire in an effort to not get burned. Unknown to them while they were busy arguing you’d long returned to your room and got ready, with Eddie and Robin in hand as you approached their door to travel to the restaurant together. 

All of you unaware how quickly the evening would take a turn for the worse (or the better) depends on who's asking.

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[a/n] reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated and encouraged!

Other works available here!

Taglist: @freezaz123

[pbs-theundeadmaggot]

first love // fake fiction

🎶 fake fiction by picturesque

(AU) Steve Harrington x fem!reader

[a/n] I can't lie I've got to that point in the series where I'm lowkey questioning the direction I'm going in. I'm still excited to carry on this project but you know what they say "you are your own worst enemy" or some shit. Anyways this is a super short part but look forward to Steve's perspective for day four of their vacation!

[warnings?] angst, self doubt, somewhat abusive relationship.

first love masterlist here!

You didn’t know if luck was on your side or wether it would come back to bite but spending time away from the couple definitely helped clear your mind, even if it was only for a few hours of peace you would happily take it, anything being better than the thoughts that swarmed your mind, plaguing you with nightmares and a broken heart that unfortunately still beat. 

You’d tried to convince yourself that you were okay, that all the pain would be worth it in the end if it meant Steve would be happy, yet from the minuscule conversations you’d had with him since discovering his secret girlfriend, you weren’t so sure. Rebecca and Steve on paper were a match made in heaven, from their wealthy and high status families that would’ve happily approved of the two and their stupidly perfect looks you would be a fool to think otherwise, but in reality there was not an ounce of sense, they were like oil and water constantly at conflict, just like your mind. 

A part of you felt ashamed for thinking like this, believing that the bitterness was beginning to overwhelm you and if you didn’t distance yourself soon, you would turn out to be the real monster in this story. Not your parents. Not Rebecca. 

However, the other side of you truly felt like this wasn’t right. They weren’t right. Steve was so desperate to be loved that he would sell his soul to the devil to make it happen. Steve also wouldn’t comprise all the hard work he’d put in to finding himself, not for you, not for anyone. So why did it feel that way? 

He’d more than happily payed off employees left and right after their encounters with Rebecca, shooting them an embarrassed smile and thrusting a wad of cash into their hands in passing. He’d practically doted on her like a personal slave, going out of his way to make sure she was happy, when he clearly wasn’t. Hot and cold like the weather, one minute the two were sickly in love and the next they were like strangers. It would’ve been impossible to realise just looking at the two but Steve was your best friend, you knew him better than you knew yourself and those flickers of disappointment and sadness that reflected in his baby brown eyes was something you’d grown accustomed to, particularly when you were both younger and dumber with teenage angst running through your veins. 

Everything felt so damn uncertain, the foreboding feeling creeping up on you leaving your stomach crawling with anxiety, the instability adding weight to your already cracking foundation. 

Funnily enough Steve felt the exact same way. 

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[a/n] reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated and encouraged!

Other works available here!

Taglist: @freezaz123

[pbs-theundeadmaggot]

first love // homesick

🎶 Homesick by Dayseeker

(AU) Steve Harrington x fem!reader

[a/n] ngl this took me a while to finish writing but here we go day one of the trip just chilling for now but who knows what will happen next?

[warnings?] a dose of angst and self doubt of course

first love masterlist here!

The thought of eating breakfast with your best friend’s girlfriend made you downright nauseous, the nerves bubbling away in your stomach as you waited for the pair to join the rest of you. The jet lag had long kicked in resulting in an awful night’s sleep and it certainly didn't help that the little sleep you’d managed to get, was plagued with images of Steve and his girlfriend living the life you’d only imagined of. 

You knew you were being slightly overdramatic after all, its not like they were getting married anytime soon but that didn’t make you feel any better. This was Steve your soulmate, not just some random guy you’d just met and if anything it made it all the worse that you’d known him as long as you had because if it was some random guy maybe it wouldn’t hurt as much. Steve was your universe, the world made sense with him in it, he was the light in the dark dingy town that held you captive, he was your escape and in return you were his.

“Screw waiting for them, that blueberry muffin has been calling my name for twenty minutes already and if I don’t eat it within the next ten seconds I will force Harrington to pay for my therapy for the rest of the year.” Breaking you free from your thoughts Eddie continued rambling on about how Steve was lucky he’d even waited this long before giving into his impulsive nature. Hungry and grumpy both you and Robin followed his lead wanting to make the most of the array of foods that lay in front of you. 

Settling down into your seats once again you tucked, in catching up with each other and enjoying the time together. Eddie was filling you in on the new songs he was working on and how the rest of the band was, it was probably the most fun you’d had in a while, that was until you saw your favourite person all loved up and flushed approaching the table hand in hand with her. You couldn’t deny she looked beautiful even in a simple hoodie and jeans, hair tied back neatly not a single hair out of place, it was clear why Steve liked her, and not you. All the while you sat bare faced, messy hair and no real effort made, stuffing your face with pastries eyes wide and almost choking at the stark difference between you both. 

Sadly it made sense

“Sorry guys we lost track of time.”  Steve spoke casually pulling out her chair for her before sitting down himself, the adoration shining in his eyes as he gleefully introduced you all properly, with the words best friend rolling of his tongue like poison as he finally turned his attention towards you. 

Quickly gulping some lukewarm coffee down and wiping your face for stray crumbs you painfully smiled, turning towards Becky before reintroducing yourself. “Hi, I’m so sorry about yesterday. I’m a bit of a nervous flyer which is why I couldn’t properly introduce myself.” The lying was too easy especially to someone who knew all your key tells but you had no other choice, genuinely wanting to try and get along with Becky if not for Steve but for your own sanity. After all she seemed nice enough and maybe just maybe she was what Steve needed, he deserved someone who would love him and care for him like his parents never did and if she could be that person then you would have to live with it. 

“It’s no problem, i’m glad your feeling better.” Pearly white teeth flashing you a smile as she waved off your apology with the flick of her wrist. “Stevie can we go get some food now?” 

Stevie? The nickname you’d been calling him for decades, that used to give you butterflies, now made your blood run cold. Her high pitched whiny voice ringing in your ears as she claimed one of your exceptions. Steve used to hate being called Stevie, constantly complaining during his teens whenever his parents would call him that. Knowing that with the nickname came a price, usually in the form of bribes or threats, his father using it as a way to manipulate and take advantage of his people pleasing nature. 

You still remember the night he’d finally confided in you exactly why he hated that nickname so much. The faint buzz of insects in the long grass and the warm summer nights breeze grazing your exposed skin, the party inside had died down long ago with just a group of your closest friends scattered around the large but lonely Harrington home. You’d followed Steve outside after watching him get into yet another fight with his then girlfriend, sitting in a comfortable silence while you waited for him to tell you what was weighing on his mind.

Sighing heavily and running a hand through his unusually untamed hair before turning to you, the fear evident on his face before he dissipating as he began to speak.“When I was little I didn’t know any better than to listen to my parents every request, no matter how much I didn’t want to do it. All I wanted was for them to give me attention, to give me a sign that they cared, even just a little bit and when they called me that it made me feel like I belonged, like I was loved.” 

You could tell how much it hurt for him to talk about it, the break in his voice and watery eyes clear as day. Resting a hand on his to encourage him to continue and moving ever so slightly closer before he carried on. “I didn’t realise it till I was older that they only called me Stevie when they wanted something from me, for me to follow through their every whim like a simple pawn in their game of happy families. To act like I was one of them and not some stranger living under their roof.”

If the situation wasn’t so heartbreaking you would’ve laughed, not because of the reason behind his pain but because thats the nickname most people associate with the name Steve. And to avoid it for so long almost easily seemed like a miracle. You didn’t even realise how lucky you’d been to be able to refer to him as Stevie, never questioning why or how no-one else called him that.

“She broke up with me for good this time.” He laughed, confusing you even more. “All because of a stupid nickname.” He didn’t seem upset, if anything he looked happier than he had earlier, his brow no longer furrowed and frown frozen upon his face. 

“I-I don’t understand.” You didn’t want to come across as insensitive but a part of you was curious why he would let you call him a name thats haunted him for years. A name that held such pain and negativity behind it, that if you were in his place you wouldn’t want to have to hear ever again. 

“You were the first person to show me what it means to be loved. To show me that I am more than just a chess piece in someone else’s game. That there are no strings attached when you call me it other than to show me that you love me for me.” Stunned to silence and letting his words sink in, not sure what to say to such confession.

 Perhaps that was when you first realised how deeply you felt for him, or that was just one of the many other things to add to the growing pile of suppressed feelings that would finally cause you to crack under pressure just years later. Either way didn’t matter because it was inevitable that sooner or later the lines between friendship and love would blur into one, destroying one or both of you in the process. 

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[a/n] Reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated and encouraged!

other works available here!

taglist: @freezaz123

[pbs-theundeadmaggot]

first love // let go of your love

🎶 let go of your love by thousand below

(AU) Steve Harrington x fem!reader

[a/n] nearing the end of this series and boy has it been a rollercoaster for me. I'm so thankful for any support my writings have got and continue to get. I've enjoyed writing this story (minus the stressful parts of my life recently) and hopefully in the future you'll read more from me!

[warnings?]self doubt, toxic relationship, angst and uncertainty.

first love masterlist here!

He was chivalry personified, gentle and attentive to your every need without being overbearing and aggressive. His soft grey eyes had were on you and you only, despite the obvious advancements from women that flocked to his side, practically undressing him with their stares to which he never looked at once. You’d be lying if you said he didn’t make your heart flutter, the hope that died watching Steve fall for anyone but you ever so slightly sparking back to life with his welcome touch. 

Alas, perfection was overrated and as much as you wished he could mend and perhaps replace the Steve shaped place in your heart, he couldn’t. You’d really tried not to compare him and give him a fighting chance but even that wouldn’t work when everything around you reminded you of the boy you had but never got to hold.

You were mortified when Julien mentioned Steve, muscles tensing up and a cold sweat forming on your forehead at the direction the conversation was going. Turns out he knew almost everything, the facts being written on your face like an open book, each detail excruciatingly obvious serving as a reminder for something you needed to work on asap. Nonetheless, he took the truth on the chin and admitted to knowing all along but wanting to show even just for a couple hours that you were so much more than a warm body to keep close by, more than just convenience and familiarity.

Hours passed in the blink of an eye, swapping stories of unrequited love and the grief it brought flooding your minds until it was empty. Although, he had been a stranger before, he now felt more than that. Like fate had brought you together at the right time, right place; the calm after the storm with acceptance coming in waves until all was still. No more grey skies that clouded your vision, the danger retreating and inviting life back to the once safe space that was kept in the back of your mind. As if the sleepless nights and agonising daydreams had finally been given a reason, the reminder of the cruel fate you were seemingly given, serving as a reminder that you would not be broken by love. 

It might’ve been your biggest downfall but it was also your strongest power. 

You could love without losing for living without loving would mean nothing but prolonged agony. There was no shame in feeling what you felt but if you kept dwelling on the what ifs and should’ves you’d watch everyone move on while you remained stuck in a past that was long forgotten.

So pulling your phone out and booking the next flight home after bidding Julien and heartfelt thank you, it was time to face reality once and for all. 

No more waiting around on a wish that would likely never come, it was time to take your life back and make it what you wanted, without Steve.

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[a/n] reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated and encouraged! thanks for reading

other works available here

taglist: @freezaz123

[pbs-theundeadmaggot]

first love // lost between

🎶lost between by thousand below

(AU) Steve Harrington x fem!reader

[a/n] for once I'm posting regularly so enjoy it while you can lol, the next part will be out on the 6th and let me tell you it hurts writing this

[warnings?] mentions of bleeding sort of and drugs, obviously a lot of self doubt (oops)

first love masterlist here!

You were yet to talk to Steve regarding the whole “you have a girlfriend but kept it a secret from me, not to mention the fact that I’m so in love with it hurts.” Situation but luckily you were kept distracted by Eddies totally illegal but essential stash that he somehow managed to keep hidden from security. It was almost ironic really, the guy who had been single going on a couple years at least had secured himself an annoyingly beautiful and perfect girl just in time for a once in a lifetime trip to the fucking city of love. Meanwhile you, single as a pringle remained just as unwanted as you were when you were 20. If you weren’t so high you probably would’ve felt the pain but for now it just served as a reminder at the front of your mind that you simply weren’t enough and probably never would be all things considering.

Eddie had been kind enough to swap seats with you since the person you thought was your best friend ditched you unannounced to spend time with his girl. You could’ve been sick by the thought of it and in a way you were glad you wouldn’t have to witness their nauseating pda for ten hours straight even though it meant you never stood a chance with him.

By the time you’d arrived to the hotel and got yourself situated you had calmed down slightly, less hurt by the fact that he didn’t like you back and more hurt that he didn’t tell you he’d met someone. You used to tell each other everything so when did that stop? 

You were about to start spiralling if it weren’t for the knock on your bedroom door and as much as you dreaded this upcoming conversation you knew it had to be done. If not for his sake then for yours. He didn’t like you back but that didn’t mean you were unlovable, maybe seeing him with someone else will help you finally move on.

Spoiler. It wouldn’t. 

Opening the door with a newfound enthusiasm you were met with a jet lagged half clothed Steve, his hair damp and floppy against his forehead and his freckled face glistening with a love sick grin. 

“Before you say anything I know what I did was shitty.” Waltzing in and sitting on your bed like he hadn’t trampled all over your heart, the sincerity written on his face making it difficult to stay somewhat mad at him. “I didn’t tell anyone about Becky because I didn’t want to jinx my first serious relationship in a while.” Sighing and deciding you needed a drink if you were going to remain ‘happy’ for him, you padded over to the minibar and helped yourself to the mini wine bottle conveniently placed at the front among various alcohols and refreshments. 

“You hurt me.” That wasn’t a lie but he didn’t need to know the real reason why. “I thought we told each other everything.” Stopping to sip the liquid courage before continuing on. “You know I love you and just want the best for you, I mean you could’ve at least given me a head up so I could have made a better impression or something, your girlfriend probably thinks I’m a dick now.” More like you could’ve let me know you were going to break my heart before having to spend ten hours in a confined space with you. “I was really excited to spend time with you after so long. Especially before Eddie goes on tour again for the next year and Robin moves across the state with her fiancé.” 

That part was true knowing that after this trip you’d all be moving on with your lives to bigger and better things than the small town of Hawkins that kept you trapped for so long. You’d be moving on to the next stage of your lives just like Nancy and Jonathan had, building families and setting down roots, fulfilling the lives you always dreamed of. Ones full of self-worth and love, not just out of obligation but because it was real.

All you longed for was someone who wanted you as much as you wanted them. Someone who would build a family with you from the ground up, someone who saw your worth and treated you right. Someone you could grow old with and eventually pass with. By the rate of things, the only thing you’d take to your grave was your never ending anxiety and fucked up view of what love really is. 

The seemingly tiny room had grown silent the only noise being faint chatter outside and the hum of music playing in the background. You half expected Steve to have walked out by now, desperate to be with his lover because of course they couldn’t bear to be away from each other for more than five seconds, yet he remained clearly deep in thought and not in any hurry.

“Lets just move past this and enjoy the vacation.” Deciding to break the silence, needing Steve to leave you alone to dwell on your thoughts and remind yourself that you would be okay. You didn’t need him and he definitely didn’t need you. “Besides I owe it you to get to know your girlfriend especially because she is clearly important and special to you.” If he’d looked close enough he would’ve seen the pain behind your eyes, he would’ve read the words you’ve longed to say

I love you and I would do anything for you even if it destroys me in the process. 

Instead allowing your words to burn through you like a cigarette leaving another scar on your bleeding heart as you pretended like you had been all along.

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[a/n]Reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated and encouraged!

other works available here!

taglist: @freezaz123

[pbs-theundeadmaggot]

sorry for the lack of updates on first love, I'm still working on the next part but life has been pretty chaotic recently so finding time to write is very little. I hope to be back and finishing up the series through September though so don't give up on me just yet.

Thank you so much to anyone who has supported this series so far and motivating me to continue <3 and thanks to anyone who took the time to read this rambled update

[pbs-theundeadmaggot]

Sorry to anyone waiting for an update to first love, I’m going to take a week off updating it as I’m super stressed right now and my job is taking up a lot of my time.

I’ll be back to uploading regularly soon! Thanks to anyone who’s supporting me and this series, I really appreciate it ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶

[pbs-theundeadmaggot]

sorry for the delay on the next chapter, I've been re-writing and editing it cause I wasn't too happy with it but I promise it will be out in the morning!

thank you to anyone reading, I appreciate all the love for this series <3