#pay stupid money for petrol

[melvinthedepressedrobot]

you can drive?

[existentialcrisis-24-7]

Idk how other countries do it but in Ireland when you take a bus or train you can use what’s called a Leap Card, you put money on it and it pays for the transport and also does it at a slightly discounted price.

People have been using it for years and usually you can just go top up at your local corner store or petrol station and be on your way, which was great! But now they’re changing it so that you can no longer do it from stores, you can only do it from the app or you’re local post office. And I am furious.

Not only because limiting it to such means that I can’t top up at all without having to divert my route or download an app I do not have space for, but also for people who live nowhere near a post office and now have to download an app just to be able to pay for bus fares and for old people who can’t navigate apps easily or people that use flip phones that literally cannot get the app.

And also you shouldn’t need to download a stupid app that does like 2 things when you can pop into the store literally right beside the bus stop and top up there.

[thessalian]

Thess vs The Last Choice

In UK political news: Johnson tried to pull a Trump, and failed harder than Trump ever did. Basically he made massive attempts to lie about how much support he was (or more to the point, wasn’t) getting, and meantime begging people to drop out. And then, when it was pretty clear that he wasn’t getting the 100 votes from Tory MPs that he needed to continue in the leadership race, he bowed out, still with the “I won but” lie. Then Penny Mordaunt, the only other actual contender, dropped out too. So we’re going to have Rishi Sunak as PM.

I’d normally be happy to have the PM not be a white person for once. Honestly ... not so much. Mostly, I think, because the only reason he got it was that he was the best choice of a bad lot, and he sure as hell wouldn’t have been chosen (because at this point he was hardly ‘elected’) if there’d been any other even vaguely palatable option. None of the MPs wanted Johnson because they had already worked with Johnson and they saw yet more chaos coming. Particularly since Johnson is a vindictive bitch most of the time. He’s the one who got us into this mess in the first place, filling his cabinet with yes-men and sycophants and firing anyone knowledgeable enough to gainsay him. This left us with this bunch of yahoos squabbling over a role that none of them are fit to fill. If it had gone to a vote, the old white men at the top would probably have voted Mordaunt in, and she’s basically a nonentity.

Why do I have misgivings about Sunak? Well, while he looks good - charming, charismatic, personable to a point - he’s just a tidier version of Johnson, all style and no substance. He himself is very wealthy, his wife is wealthier still, and he has done some shady-ass things in the name of economic interests and his own self-interest. For example ... if you have a US green card but are permanently resident in another country, you are supposed to give up your green card. I speak from personal experience, and it was confirmed in the news awhile back when it was discovered that yeah, Sunak still had a green card that he was hanging onto Because Reasons. Which is stupid because with his money, he wouldn’t have any issue reapplying if he wanted one, but still, hedging his bets.

Honestly, that’s not so bad, I guess. What is bad is his basically aiding and abetting his wife’s tax avoidance and defrauding the Covid support fund. I mean, she got support for her chain of gyms and then shut them down before she was expected to repay it. This apparently happened with a lot of businesses, that or something like it, but this is his wife. And having the wife he lives with claim non-domicile status to avoid paying taxes on her clothing business while he himself had to be a UK resident as Chancellor of the Exchequer ... well. I mean. Come on.

The worst of it, I think, is that he has no real idea what people who aren’t obscenely wealthy need in order to live. Yes, he presided over the £20 Universal Credit uplift. He also presided over snatching that away despite the double-tap of Covid and Brexit making that £20 per week the difference between ‘coping’ and ‘starving’. He gave a speech at one point in which he tried to tell the people that he understood their struggles because “We have four kinds of bread in my house”. Dude, most people would be happy to buy bread at all at this point, and would consider anything but the supermarket own-brand stuff a miracle; shut up. He also seems to do photo shoots to demonstrate what kind of “man of the people” he is ... and fucks it up so badly. He wanted to be photographed putting petrol in an “ordinary car” ... but he didn’t have one of those so he borrowed the car of one of the staff at the supermarket / petrol station specifically to put petrol in it. (Hopefully he at least didn’t expect the staffer to pay him back for the petrol, that’s assuming he actually started the pump going and didn’t just put the empty nozzle in; I never heard how that went.) Also wanted to have photos of him paying for his shopping ... but couldn’t even figure out how to tap his credit card at the contactless payment machine. He had very clearly never done that before. I gather he orders things from fancier places and has a credit account or something. Either way, his attempts at looking like “a man who understands people’s everyday lives and struggles” just made him look like a posh, entitled noit.

I mean, he’s better than Johnson. And I can see why they picked him, and why they might have picked him even if Mordaunt hadn’t dropped out of the race. Yeah, he’s not white, and that probably would have been a turn-off for the members of the Conservative party ... but Sunak is a money-man. More to the point, he’s a money-for-the-already-financially-endowed man. He’s not going to tighten any tax avoidance loopholes. He’s not going to tax businesses. He literally bragged at one point that he took ‘levelling-up’ money from poorer areas to funnel into richer areas that didn’t need it. The Tories know what Sunak stands for - more inequality, but also more subtlety about it than Truss had. And they also know that he looks and acts like a grown-up, so he’ll probably play well with at least some of the voters. And the Tories can now rub it into Labour’s faces that they were not only the first ones to get a woman into 10 Downing Street, but now the first ones to get a non-white person into 10 Downing Street, and insist that on that basis they can’t be racist. Except the problem is that if you really look at the POC in the Tory party, you’ll find a fair few instances of boomerang bigotry, of making much of how their families were refugees and then pulling up the ladder behind them and dreaming of sending people just like them to Rwanda.

Basically, Sunak’s a combination accountant and hedge fund manager, but how he’s going to be as an actual leader, in any instance that doesn’t directly involve the economy? I have a feeling it’s going to be just a classier version of Johnson’s daily parade around places in hi-vis cosplay; more style than substance. But, if it has to be Tories at all, I guess at least it’s not Johnson. That’s a silver lining, I guess.

(Oh, and people are bitching about how Labour is saying that if there was a general election and they did win said general election, they “couldn’t fix things as fast as they’d like”. Which everyone thinks is a cop-out, like there should be an instant fix to the political and economic disaster area the UK has become. Except ... no. No, Starmer’s doing something that we need to see more of in politics - he told the truth. There is no easy fix to this. This mess requires repair at the foundational level. There are things that could be done to make life easier for those who are terrified of starving, freezing, and/or being rendered homeless, but the actual problem? That’s going to take years to fix properly. I guess I get being leery of long-term strategies when the ones that have previously been thrown at us involved immediate benefits for the wealthy and a promise of maybe jam tomorrow for everyone else, but ... oh, fuck it, I have no idea anymore. I’m just really sick of ending up with a change in prime minister and consequently of manifesto without having been remotely able to vote for it.)

[welshkcpembs]

Feb 23

Valentines tomorrow, ohhhh what a lovely feeling to be in love, to have that happy glow. Merh, 16 years with my partner and what makes up both smile are the funny thing our son does. The random copycat attitude he gives out, looking like his dad but giving my lip an sass back. The bitching we have between us. I can honestly say I’m not sure what love is, and don’t really think it’s real, just common ground and people liking each other enough to truly care, or just trying to get their leg over regularly 😁

Did my first “wedding anniversary” 40th disco for a couple Iv known a few years. I normally work in the club, same old, same old music, same old people and predictable, you get to know who likes what. But with private gigs you have 🤷‍♂️ no idea, I was told “60s, 70s,80s and clubland” so that’s huge range then I had to play for children under 15, chart music. Bob advised me to do it this way…”slow, gentle at the start, get the kids music going, then dance for the adults, cheese music, 80s+ an then slow it back down to 60s and by then everyone’s plastered and are dancing to anything” But me noooooo, I did it completely different, “got the slow music going, got the dinner, feet tapping music so they could eat, i put 60s on so then oldies can dance, then children’s on and had them dancing, up on the 80s and then the clubland, back to 90s, then the cheese and the children’s chart moden” 10pm the children were dancing to 80s the oldies were dancing to MOD and mowtown and the ravers were plastered and doing the Superman dance. It was really good fun and I’m happy to say I had a very good 👍🏻 review for my first time DJing.

Went back to the club to help Bob sort leads, and check the kit. Then had a meeting with the clubs secretary who had nooo idea that I had the accident n the business premises, she also had no idea that no one had been in contact with me, at all. She also had no idea about my job roll in the club. So after explaining the I am a fully qualified first aider, knowing BSL and that I’m the relief cleaner for when the “resident cleaner” has a holiday or needs help I work, I’m also bar personal and the only person that will clean up expelled fluids that have been consumed n the premises, no other person will do that, I also DJ for the club and clean behind the bar and just generally keep the hygiene of the bar to a high standard.

*Breath* Iv been doing bar work since I was 17, Iv also been cleaning in different industries since I was 19, I have to be honest the only thing Iv never cleaned is after a dead body, Iv done industrial, Iv done animal, Iv done catering, Iv done school, offices, homes, hotels, BanBs, bedsits, and garage. I also said that over the 9 years Iv definitely done more then I should have, given more to that club and started at 6am, stupid times and haven’t ever asked or been paid for that work I did. This is why I moved in to better pay, in the hotel, and was going to be give 16+ hours a week and be given the position of Bar Manager in the Restaurant, tips were fabulous and being paid petrol, it was a no briner that I took the opportunity to work there. The topping was, the views, the fact the boss is a childhood friend, I was finishing 10pm at night, and Sundays I cleaned I swam in the bay and it is still a magical place to go. So after the accident I released no one gives a shit about anyone, and the safety of the people that use the club wasn’t a consideration, the members who have been in accidents, that have died, or slipped in the premises were unfortunately just people being the money and numbers. I told her all this and she along with the treasurer had no idea, they are not in the loop an basically I didn’t hold back about what was going on with the bar staff. Unfortunately the bar staff could not give a dam about the rules! They could fire the staff, but getting replacements and people to work the hours and do what we did would be hard, so no one cared to be honest and that was the way it had been for a long time, no one had pride in the workplace in the club and it showed. (I would be very surprised if I got offered my job back.)To my surprise I was offered quieter hours, she took all this formations down, witness names, dates I worked, were I worked and asked what they could do to make it a better work place. I asked to make it safe, make it more safe leaving, coming, and being there. She said that club wouldn’t take responsibility for the accident and I said, that’s fine but I will had been advised to take it further and sue the club. After all I lost my job, my confidence, my future and my faith in people that I thought after 9 years cared. I pointed out the sign out side about parking in the club applies to cars using the carpark, that if cars go damaged or broken into the club didn’t hold responsibility. It said nothing about people having accidents because of there lack of safety and judgement. When you pot holes in a car park and no lighting, people will fall. But….who’s fault is it? I was sober walking across the carpark with my son an fell, damaged my back and serverly torn my ankle ligaments. 7 people came out, and the club had no video of this as their security cameras were broken so I couldn’t even get a copy.

That’s the update of my few weeks so far. I feel better that I didn’t hold back, spilt my guts, told them a few home truths and let them see the “bar” view to a members only club. I’m not ready to people, I’m not ready to face everyone and have to explain why Iv not been there. TBC

[letsflynow]

Part 2/20 - Club 27

Physically I’m with him but mentally I am seeing which curve would kill me faster.

Just leave him? I can’t, we have the perfect personality traits to work. We know the same jokes, we like the same stuff sometimes! I can’t just abandon a 6 year long relationship. You expect me to try this shit all over again with some other guy? If this one doesn’t work I sure as fuck do not have the ability to try it all over again.

Now I kind of realize why suicide risk raises when you get to 27. You have lived long enough to know how this works, you either want more or you’ve had enough. I’m 25, I’m already full, no more please.

I like when it rains, the feeling in the air, the droplets hitting my hair. I just don’t like to get my clothes wet. I like V, he is more than ok, he is very intelligent, he is thorough, uses Excel to track his petrol consumption, our vacation spending, and how many times we have sex. I just would prefer if I could be happy and uncontrolled. That would be great, cherry on top. Me? Happy? Can you imagine?

I can’t.

We both work in the same field. When we get together on the weekends, we park the car near the ocean, he can spend hours talking, its fun hearing him talk, I am a very good listener, I could always fake that so well. He talks about his coworkers; he rants about how stupid one of them is for having glass food containers (they are expensive, hence, the hate). His other coworker cooks his own meals, fucking loser has no girlfriend (V’s dad never cooked, he never even made rice, every time we have to cook in his vacation home I am floored, he once asked me if to make hard boiled eggs you have the take of the shell before or after they cook).

I listen, its fine. Its getting late now, he asks “how was your week?” I begin speaking. He turns the car on, begins to drive us home, we are close, I have 7 minutes to talk about my week now. Mid-sentence I stop talking, he’s not listening, its fine. We kiss goodbye. Repeat in 7 days.

I mean how much better could it be? This type of shit happens to every couple! People just don’t talk about it. I should be happy about what I have. We have steady jobs; we both earn twice the average! He pays for dinner, it’s nice! He tells me he likes me sometimes; he likes my cooking; he even washes the dishes!

The bar is so low at this point. I’m just grasping for whatever I can find. Its fine, this is what being in a relationship is like, sometimes you don’t get your way with things! He doesn’t have to say yes to everything. Imagine if he did, we would be living together by now I suppose. I would be able to buy nice cereal and fruit sometimes. That gets expensive over time. If all he cares about is money why does he use the premium petrol for his car. Bizarre. And he only washes dishes with brand name dish soap, 5 bucks a bottle. It would be 0.59 cents for the store brand one… like the store brand cereal I eat.

And he likes to only watch premium channels.

And his watch was…

Also his phone is a ….

Well, he’s allowed. He worked hard for it. When its me, it’s the cheapest petrol, cheapest cereal, savings savings savings.

Shit.

If I carry on I will eventually have his baby. Imagine? Brand name scratchy diapers, cheapest medication, cheapest mattress, cheapest car, cheapest school, braindead mom, violent dad, where it all began.

[anthonysstupiddailyblog]

Anthony's Stupid Daily Blog (795): Mon 20th May 2024

Like a fool I listened to Chris Jericho's band Fozzy's new ingle that he's been using as his entrance music in AEW for the last few weeks called "Spotlight" and GOD DAMN IT, now Fozzy have two songs that I like. If I keep liking their songs that will really make it hard to maintain my narrative that the band is shit. This damn song was stuck in my head all damn day which made it feel even longer. I agreed to so an extra half hour overtime again after my shift had finished. I'm lucky that this has come along because it's extra money for doing fuck all really as all we have to do is walk around doing as much cleaning as we can in half an hour. The time goes by really quickly and if I do this for a week once a month then that will pay for my petrol for the entire month so I'd be a fool not to do it really. Getting this car really was the best decision I could have made because not only do I not have to agonise about whehter I'll actually make it to work like I was with that fucking bike but now I'm prioritising my money to make sure I've got my rent and car payments sorted out before I pay for anything else. Annoyingly whenever I'm driving home down the narrow road towards Sunderland there has recenlty been a group of about ten or fifteen kids just wandering along it in a big cluster, not even in a straight line like the Lost Boys do during the Following The Leader song in Peter Pan. They always take their sweet sweet time getting the fuck out of the way too. I realize that I can't mow them all down because I think that's still illegal in my neck of the woods but if they would just walk in a line then I could just mow down the one at the back who would then fall onto the kid in front of him and so on and so on creating a domino effect. If I did this I think I could convince the courts that I only meant to kill the one at the back and the remaining fourteen deaths was just a hilarious case of manslaughter. WHen I got home I re-watched the iconic Texas Chain Saw Massacre, a movie that impressively has gone on to cultivate a legacy as one of the greatest horror movies ever made despite not containing that much blood or gore. Much of the horror in Texas Chainsaw comes from what you don't see and is merely implied and the horror in question is beautifully illustrated by the blood curdling screams of actors Teri McMinn (Pam) and Marilyn Burns (Sally). Their screams of agony and torment mean that you don't need to see what they are seeing, their shrieks paint a horrific enough picture in your mind as it is. The one part of the movie that still frightens me to this day despite half a dozen viewings is the bit where Jerry opens the freezer and sees the presumed dead body of Pam lying there which then sits up and uses the last bit of energy to try to get out of the freezer before Leatherface shows up, caves Jerry's head in and then puts Pam back in the freezer. It's even more terrifying when she sits up as it's accompanied by the sound of a wooden door opening which you wouldn't think would go with this scene but I'm telling you the sound plus the look of desperation in McMinn's face is the stuff of nightmares. I read an interview with McMinn where she says that her character of Pam was a born fighter and McGinn believes that she would've found a way out of her predicament and survived…hmmm yeah you keep thinking that Teri. I personally can't think of a way that a woman who had spent an undisclosed amount of time hanging by their back from a meathook and then placed in a freezer would manage to escape despite massive blood loss and possible hypothermia but if you can that's this week's competition so if you can think of an answer just write it on a shovel and then whack yourself in the face with it.

[the-firebird69]

2m$ A Year For North Sea Rescue Job? 😱

We're moving out and we're rescuing a lot of people and we're pulling them off the deck and people laughing his antics two people came up to take pictures with a shark and he said we have some tourists on the deck and it's a deck and it was fun this is saying it's a rig but there's more going on and Charlotte county is gearing up for some changes

-the whole place is going to be turned upside down pretty soon

-is other things happening and yeah our son isn't sent to humor and then some people don't get it it was too much right away and again she said would you take my picture and you held his own phone up and he's laughing and she finally got it and he says just three smile and it didn't work and she got nervous and that was is what usually happens and Hera is laughing it might even Becca

-there's a huge number of people wondering what happened if they did something and created a monster and it's going down in history as a big fight and Brad is suffering and she is too and it doesn't pay to haunt our son like an a****** forever if you did nothing don't act like you did and their men are paying Sarah and the two girls and Trump was surgery they're going after him

-this morning news it's a big event the above. They're having a war with the pseudo empire and they're starting s*** with the max big time and they're going to get their asses kicked that's what the Mac said and they will decide happened before and huge forces okay this time we anticipate by estimate by the language on the radio and the numbers possibly about 5% of the general populace and out of 25% 5% of the populace would be 5% of the 25% because that 25% is out of the general populace. And scheduled for petrol and wise asses and he almost got clocked cuz we're going to help and he would have been real surprised they're trying to kidnap me cuz they're having problems because they're stupid they're going to pull Trump out by his years and he says he knows about what happened with Melissa and Jennifer and Colleen and he is going to be in a lot of trouble and these guys are too and they've been s**** and assholes for years and it's going to be fun he says watching them fall cuz he keep doing it to him don't trip Jason you can get hurt and that's all you got and he's starting to get something it's not fun a bunch of false alarms but not for long the Mohawks start losing minority will come after you too some are and for the secrets and they have a wonderful way of talking. You set them up and said they hit people with machetes and all sorts of other stuff so that's going on and there are other things but we'll publish

Thor Freya

Olympus

Zues Hera actually I feel much better now this is much better and you're trying to get it out and they said okay good idea it's working and let's hope things straightened out this is a disaster I even rather have you been working at something part time but wow this is terrible

We have several jobs in mind and we can pay cash and it's really a ridiculous place and they do it all the time and she paid cash and you leave and that's it and really how they going to know and they won't really it says you go to Walmart and you get a card and Walmart they don't hold the money it's true too sometimes usually they put in the drawer.

We do have ideas like that and it makes it hard for them when they put it in the drawer they can't mess around with it

Ben Arnold

Olympus

[im-a-shitpost-god]

It's my dad's birthday today and for the first time in the 22 years I've been alive for I haven't wished him a nice day or another happy year. It made me feel really guilty of course, but I don't think he deserves it. Almost four whole months of not talking to him have gone by, and he has asked around about how I've been and what I've been doing. He's not been brave enough to ask me though. Four months and he hasn't asked why I don't speak to him either. I assume he thinks it's because I'm ungrateful and greedy, interested only in his money. It's hard when it's the only thing someone has to offer you and no matter how many times you try to explain and how you fade away over the years and how they stop knowing you completely. The worst is the extent you can pull yourself from someone's life without them trying to stop you or wanting to know why. So I haven't wished him a happy birthday and I feel horrible about it but I have enough self respect for myself to not do it.

Two weeks ago I got a bus ticket going to work, because I didn't have enough money to get one. I've had to miss doctor's appointments and reschedule therapy for weeks because I can't cover it and the guilt I feel for my mum having to go back and forth angry texting my dad to give her 30 pounds is worse than missing it. We've only been able to get groceries once the past three weeks because she can't cover it more often than that and I've been scrapping together dinners and lunches for work with whatever we would have on hand. I have debts I haven't been able to pay off in months and things I've needed for weeks I keep pushing off because I can bearely find enough money for food let alone stupid shit I can stretch without for a little while longer. The ammount of work one has to put into something as stupid as not starving lays heavy on my heart on the bus ride home from work. I stare out of the window as it's pouring outside, the window foggy from the heat of the bus and the people inside it. It's the only moment of my day I have enough time to consider how I'm feeling and I'm not feeling well. I feel like my heart's growing heavier with each year of my life and I yearn for the times where I worried about my friends and my grades and how other people saw me and how sad I would feel and I had enough time and friends and people around to worry about.

I digress, my dad's birthday is today and soon I'm suing him for aliments. It's not a pleasant thought and not a pleasant thing to do and not something I want to do at all if I had any other choices. I feel guilty for it, but even more guilty for my mum who is left arguing with my dad and worrying about how she will pay for our house bills. My dad seems like he doesn't have money to cover any of this, judging by how angry he gets about these things, or how he used to make me beg and plead for him to help me pay for groceries in uni. My sister, in the same position but with perhaps less quiet anger and pride bubbling up inside her broke off her silence after months to beg and plead. When she talks to me about what she has to say and do to get 40 pounds for petrol and a doctor's appointment I feel sick and all the more I feel my silence is okay. I am not like her and have never been like her. I'm not one to scream and yell and storm off and ignore someone for months out of anger. My anger always feels like it's brewing quietly for weeks, months and years before I get so fed up I up and leave. I don't ever explain why, to anybody. So, my dad has so much money. I grew up more well-off than any of my friends, never even looked at the prizes of things in stores, never wondered if we would go on holidays to someplace fancy and never wondered if I asked for something if my parents would decline. I had private tutors, expensive shoes and money-consuming hobbies. Dad didn't blink twice sending me off to America in highschool, spending enough money on it to buy a brand new car. So yeah, inviting me to his new house last year, staring at his imported from Britain wallpaper that cost more than my life had the past 6 months and at his designer fucking frigde that cost more than my life had in the past year and a half? The quiet rage kept growing and growing, every time he would yell at me asking where my money had gone studying abroad that month because food isn't that expensive and I have to be lying to him.

So, no happy birthday.

I feel like I am drowning in on myself, always have been that kind of person. I have suprisingly always been well-liked, well-known, like the kind of person that managed to be recognized by most people I passed. A smile always plastered on my face, teasing and talkative. Engaged into everyone I turned my attention to as if we were the best of friends. First time I walked away from someone was from my first friend group in highschool. They were all nice kids, way more quiet than me and consistent in their presence. But I've always been loud and a bit annoying and really too trusting and too honest. And I had like a fucked up situation happen there and I promise as selfish as I am, that was not my fault. I got semi-dropped but I earned back my way into that group and then fucked it all up again only a couple months after for this girl I was really in love with. My best friend had feelings for her and confessed all this shit to me when I was away in America and it obviously didn't go all that well. I dropped the poor girl before I left, but for some reason things between us always have been this way like a slow magnetic pull always. And so I tried to ditch her to save my friendship with this person I really loved and cared about. But then shit happened and I got pulled back in and then again stupidly promised I wouldn't see her because I loved my friend that much. Despite how earnest I was to do this I obviously didn't last all that long and two months passed and we were stuck at each other's hip again. Kept being blown off by my friends who seemed to have moved on from me to some extent and it hurt me a lot so I dropped them completely. I was depressed for months but moved on later, whatever. Similar thing with the next friends I made. I don't confront people about things. I quietly hope they will shake themselves and realise they are being assholes. So again, I wasn't treated the best. I pulled away. Some people would try to come back into my life but I wouldn't let them. Gave them a chance once, which they fucked up so badly I refrained from doing that ever again.

I used to be really trusting, overly so. People would take advantage as people do. I don't like to trust people now. I have friends but kept at arms length, ones I've known for years who I am not close enough with for them to fuck me over too bad. I have other friends, in countries I don't live in anymore, who I wish I got to see but can't. I am a really lonely person. I yearn to have people I can rely on but I also like to push people away. So when I'm on the bus staring out at the route I've taken since I was thirteen, so familiar to me, I wish I had someone close. I am not interested in surface level friends like I used to be. That came after losing the first real friends I had. I don't know. Many times I've found out my closest friends would call me annoying and too much behind closed doors. I can honestly see what they meant but the diluted version of me that exists now makes me sick to my stomach. I used to be just as happy and excited and loud as I used to be sad but it was a whole me. Now I feel like a fructured mess of nothing and nothing to offer and nothing to want or need. Last time I made friends was maybe three years ago and since then I'v e felt less and less like myself.

So, anyways, off topic a bit. Sometimes walking through a busy street, on a train getting home and in a pasta aisle of a grocery store I want to start screaming and not stop. Start sobbing my heart out and have people look at me weird and pull their children away and call the security. I want to finally break and do something so crazy that at least somebody will look at me. I just still feel like that about everything- like a slow slow light and gentle brewing anger, non-spilling and not hot. Just bearely there if you don't look at it right or close enough. I don't know. When I was younger I used to think that if I killed myself then at least people would notice. I don't think I was that far off

[unimaginableintentions]

I was trying to be nice and pay for a friend's popcorn at the cinema because they drove me in and popcorn is pricier than petrol so I thought that would be a fair swap.

They ordered 2 tickets and I didn't want her to pay for my ticket cos ✨️equality✨️ so I gave her a £10 note thinking she was gonna pay on her card.

Then in the same order we orderd the popcorn and drinks and THEN I PAYED on my CARD for that aswel as the two tickets because she didn't do it separate at the till and everyone was waiting for me to swipe my card and I was like..whut.

And after she never offerd me the money back or even my tenner back and i was confused and like puzzled So like....wtf I'm skint now lul.

And the film wasn't even that good to end it all it wasn't even like half good.

Also am I fucking stupid like am I actually a dumb ass 🙃

[overly-b]

Say It Again - JJ Maybank

In which JJ questions if he is deserving of you and your love. 

Warnings: swearing, sad JJ, fluff, awful editing don’t come for me

Word Count: 3.5k(whoops) 

Author's note: this is my first time writing in so long, be gentle with me friends. I know that a lot of people have done similar prompts of JJ feeling undeserving of love and the reader helps him through it, so this is a little bit unoriginal but, this is my take on it. 

Bold italics is a flash back. 

Thank you to @maybe-maybanks​ to the late night inspiration!

not my gif

As you, Kie and Pope approached the yard of the chateau, it became undeniably clear that JJ had gone off the rails with extravagant spending since you had seen him last. 

“What did you do JJ?” Pope questions the boy sitting in the hot tub. Looking at you through his sunglasses, he smirks. 

“I got a jet going straight in my butt right now” He ignores Pope. “Y’all, should get in here immediately, you hear me?” His sentence slurs slightly. “Salud!” He toasts his plastic champagne flute in the air, but opts to take a swig from the bottle in his other hand. 

JJ scans the faces of his three friends, eyes lingering at yours a moment longer than Kie and Popes. 

You see, just days ago, after getting arrested, then beaten by his father, JJ found you, and poured his heart out, to find that you shared his feelings, and the two of you started seeing each other in secret. 

Being that it was a secret, the two of you had yet to put any kind of label on it, but you loved that blonde boy to the ends of the earth, despite what had happened earlier that day. 

“You know what, that's exactly what I’m gonna do. Go off, by myself.”  

You watched as JJ began walking away. Pope attempted to stop him, but Sarah and John B had halted his efforts. You stood silently fuming at the actions of the boy you had such strong feelings for. How could he be doing something like this? This wasn’t the JJ you knew, had been friends with for years, and were now in love with. Though if you were being honest with yourself, you had loved him for years prior. 

“JJ!” You seethed, shaking off John B’s attempts to hold you back from running after him. He was already a good distance away from the group, he probably couldn’t even hear you yelling, so you started speed walking. It soon became apparent that he was simply ignoring you. 

“JJ!” You were merely twenty feet from him, screaming at his back. “JJ stop!” His strides continued. 

“You were real quiet back there princess, finally decide to comment?” You stepped in front of him, shoving his shoulders to force his walk to a stop. “What the fuck Y/N!” 

“What the fuck me? What the fuck you! What has gotten into you right now JJ what are you doing?” 

“Nothing has gotten into me Y/N I’m simply paying back what I owe.” He states, trying to walk past you. 

“By stealing the money from the drug dealer that just jumped us?” Your brows raise as you interrogate him. 

“He jumped us, he has this coming.” He nonchalantly shrugs his shoulders, succeeding in getting past you, as you stand shocked by his words. 

“JJ you and I both know that you’re not that goddamned stupid.” His steps slow, he stands still. “Stealing money from a drug dealer? JJ I know that you owe money because of Pope but this isn’t right! You’re better than this-” 

“Am I?” He turns on his heels to face you again, this time squaring his shoulders to be purposeful in standing tall over you. Him standing over you made you feel small in comparison to the raging blond. “Am I better than this?” He repeats his question. 

“JJ what are you-” 

“Because I’m starting to think that you, and your high standards, and your perfect life, only think that I am better than this because you want me to be better than this.” 

You knew what he was referring to. You were by no means a kook, but your family was financially stable enough to afford a nice house, you had your own car, and if you wanted, you could afford to go to college on the mainland. Your life was unlike most lives on the cut, but JJ knew that your life was far from perfect. 

“What the hell-” 

“And that if we’re gonna be together,  you need me to be better than this so that I can fit in with your life.” You had no idea what he meant. Your life was on the cut, with the Pouges, with him, and the difference of financial well beings of your familys never changed that before, so why was it now? 

“What the fuck JJ stop-” 

“Well you know what Y/N! I’m not better than this, this is who I am! I get into fights, I steal, I have a criminal record, when I get hit, I hit back this is who I am!” 

“We both know that stealing twenty five thousand dollars from a drug dealer is never going to make anything better.” You attempt to reason with him. “This isn’t hitting back this is loading the gun that's already in your face!” 

“Y/N I have to!” He spits. “I know you could never understand being in so much debt but this is my only option.” His words hit you like a punch to the stomach. He looks down to his boots before continuing. “So I’m sorry that I’m not what you pictured as a boyfriend, but this is what I do Y/N. Maybe you trying to fight it means you deserve better than me.” 

And just like that, it was clear that he was more mad with himself then he was with you. However, everything that he said was uncalled for, and nasty, and he had no right. You watch as he storms away, even more tense than before, and you couldn’t help but wonder how this affects your newfound relationship. You blink away the water from your eyes, and do your best to compose yourself as you slowly wander back to your friends. 

“How much did this cost?” Pope asks. Your head was spinning as he listed all of the things that he had purchased since he left you standing in the woods. 

“Uh, well. With the generator, the petrol, and, oh, hey, express delivery,” You knew the answer before he even had time to speak. “Pretty much all of it, yeah.” 

“All of it?” Pope exclaims. 

“Oh my god” You whisper, mostly to yourself, rubbing your forehead with your palm. 

“Yeah all of it.” 

“You spent all the money in one day?” “Yeah burned a hole right through my pocket.” He confidently explains. “But, I mean like come on guys, look at this!”  The tone in his voice told you that he was holding back, it was alway his biggest tell when he would hold back his feelings. “Finest in jet based massage therapy, that's what they told me.” 

The three of you are left speechless. 

“Kie what? Can’t a man have a little luxury in life?” JJ still could not bring himself to look you in the eyes for more than a moment. “Come on, all this scrimping’ and scraping’” you notice his voice falter again. “I mean like, guys, we, you only live once. Right?” JJ finally locks eyes with you, and he reacts spastically, your dreaded look having the gravest effect on him.  

“Y/N, stop, why are you looking at me like that?” He knew full well, but he was trying too hard not to show it. “I know that you’re mad about earlier okay, but, everything is fine now!” His voice was louder now, concealing the breakdown you knew was coming, sooner or later, here with the three of you or somewhere else. “Enough of this emotional shit. Get in the Cat’s Ass come on.” He smiles, waving you to join him. 

“The what?” Kie furrows her brows. 

“The Cat’s Ass.” JJ smugly replies, proud of himself. “That's what I named her. Oh hey yo, I almost forgot,” JJ leans forward, pressing a button that makes water spray across the tub, and even more colorful lights flash in front of him. “Huh! Yeah that's right, disco mode, thats right baby!” His eyes scan yours, noticing that they were clouding with tears. He quickly looks away from you, not wanting to see the damage that he had done, and was still doing. 

“JJ,” Your voice is low and hushed as you blink back tears. 

“Are you kidding me?” Popes harsh voice overpowers yours, cutting off you and your tears. “You could have paid for restitution!” 

“Or literally given it to any charity” Kie fumes at the sight before her. 

“Guys,” You mutter, wanting them to stop being so hard on the broken boy you secretly called yours. You were mad too, if not more than Pope and Kie due to your argument. However, you could see straight through the smug grins and happy fasad that JJ was trying to project. He was hurting, and you knew it wasn’t just about the fight the two of you shared. 

“Or better yet, you could have helped us buy supplies to get the rest of the gold out of the well!” 

“Guys!” You spoke up louder this time, only to be cut off by JJ. 

“Okay well you know I didn’t do that!” As JJ’s swimsuit clad body surfaces from the hot water, you are confronted with what you knew would be there, and the tears pour from your eyes. “I got a hot tub!” JJ shakes in what appears to be anger, but you know it isn't anger he's reeling from. “For my friends,” 

Kie and Pope gape at JJ’s bruised abdomen and instantly connect the dots as to who is responsible. 

“I bought a hot tub for my friends.” He repeats. “You know what, no, you know what, screw friends. I got a hot tub for my family.” 

“JJ what the hell-” Kie gasps.

“I got this for you! Guys look what I did for you! Alright?” JJ spins and gestures to everything he bought. “Look at this!” When he turns back, he finds that you were no longer holding back the tears your eyes once held. 

“Y/N stop being emotional don’t, don’t cry okay? I know that I hurt you before,” His voice fails him as he recalls the words that he said to you. “But I did this for you,” He hangs his head, he knows how bad he fucked up, and it was hitting him all at once that this was not the way that he needed to make things right. This was not the way back to you, and the high of his twenty five thousand dollar spending spree was dissapating at his realisation, and at the sight of you before him. 

“I mean, it’s sweet right?” JJ hadn't even realized that as he began talking, you had climbed into the hot tub. He looks into your eyes for a moment as you stand before him, and lets out a sob as you gently wrap your arms around him. His forehead falls to your shoulder, and  all of his pent up energy released in the form of tears and heaves. 

“I’m sorry. Baby I’m so sorry.” He whimpers to you, only for you to shush him tenderly. Kie and Pope share a confused glance at the nickname. “I couldn’t do it.” You rub his hair and hold him close as he convulses. “I can’t take it anymore!” JJ wails, your tears land on his shoulders, and his tears land on yours. “I was gonna kill him!” 

Kie is next to join you, jumping into the steaming water and embracing the both of you. Pope follows. 

“I just want to do the right thing.” 

“Shh, JJ, I know. I know” You coo him, trying to calm his weeping. 

After minutes of holding him, Kie announces that she has to head home, and Pope offers to drive her. JJ rests in a nearly catatonic state in your arms, no doubt exhausted and knowing JJ, not ready to face the fact that he just broke down in front of his friends. 

The pair leaves bidding reassuring words to JJ, and a few more hugs. 

You are left in the hot tub, holding the blond boy as he clutches onto you. He wasn’t crying anymore, but his breaths were rapid and heavy as he was shaken, the events of the day had caught up to him in the form of you and your tears. He begins to spew soft “I’m sorry”s and other apologises, but his panic makes him stutter and his sentences start to lack direction. 

You shush him and direct the boy to listen to your heartbeat, trying your best to bring his shattered thoughts back to earth. 

“JJ, we should get out of the hottub.” You tell him, to which he simply sniffles and nods, unsure of how to speak to you after the horrible things he said to you, and his inability to form a proper apology. He knew that you were nothing like he had depicted, yet he said what he said, and there was no taking it back. 

His skin was red from the overheated water, and it itched with chlorine, so as the two of you entered the chateau, you started the shower. 

“You should rinse off the chlorine.” You told him, not sure of how to speak to him either. He followed your order and stripped of his bathing suit. You were able to track down clothes for him to sleep in, and as you waltzed back into the bathroom, you decided you couldn’t leave him alone in the shower.  

Taking off your soaked clothes quickly, you slip into the shower to find JJ standing still under the water. You snake your arms around his torso, careful of the bruises pressing your chest to his back. His hands find yours he holds them tight. You place a kiss on his spine, then rest your head where your lips touched. 

“I’m so sorry” He croaked, his voice was tired, worn out from the day. 

“JJ-” 

“No stop Y/N” He turns around to face you, grabbing your face in his hands. “I’m sorry. I should have never said any of those things about you, none of them were true, it's just that, its,” He stumbles on his words. You rub his back to ground him again, he takes a deep breath. “It's just that you do deserve better than me.” 

“JJ please-” He doesn’t let you continue. 

“No you do, Y/N you do. You deserve so much better than me, than this life, than what I can give you. You don’t deserve some, broken kid that's never getting off the cut, you don’t deserve, to, have to watch as I steal money from drug dealers, you don’t deserve any of the shit that I know that I put you through you just, you deserve better, better than someone who doesn’t come close to deserving you.” 

The tears streaming down both of your faces mix with the water coming from the shower and you have no idea how to make his saddening speech stop. 

“JJ” You sob, he pauses. “You deserve so much more, than what your life has given you. You deserve to be happy, you deserve to be loved JJ, you deserve everything that you want, why can’t you see that?” 

And instantly you feel stupid for asking. JJ’s eyes wander and find the bruises littering his body, answering your question. You stifle another sob as your eyes graze his battered skin. 

“Listen to me.” You demand his attention. “You are not worthless.” His eyes divert from yours as he realises what you’re referring to. “JJ look at me,” After a moment or two, his gaze wearily finds yours. “You are not worthless, you are worthy of love, and affection, and someone who takes care of you, and not only are you worthy but you deserve it too. Do you hear me?” 

JJ swallows thickly, nodding in acceptance of your beautiful words. He embraces you tightly, having no words of his own. No one had ever made him feel like this. No one had ever made him feel worthy of the good that was before him. 

He was hesitant to think that he deserved you. To him, no one was good enough to actually deserve you, especially not him. However your speech made him open to the idea that maybe he was at least worthy of your love. 

Your love. 

You both realised in the same moment that the word was shared between you. You had never shared the faithful declaration of love to each other since you had been together romantically, and yet now you had mentioned love twice in the span of thirty seconds. JJ smiled as he held you. You loved him, and this was one of the ways that you showed it. 

“Let's get the chlorine out of your hair J.” 

He let you massage his scalp with the shampoo that he's seen you use before to get pool chemicals out of your hair. He didn’t really know what it did or how it was different from other shampoos but, it smelled like you and he loved getting his head rubbed. His breathing was still shaky, but he finally felt some of his anxiety from the day wearing off. Fighting with you was something he never wanted to do again. Fighting with his dad was something he knew he would have to do the next time he went home. He elected to ignore those thoughts, as your fingers worked magic on his hair, seemingly drawing all of the negative ideas out of his head along with the chlorine. 

As JJ rinsed his hair of soap, he noticed you reaching for the bottle again, no doubt to wash your own hair. He holds out his hand, wordlessly asking if he could wash your hair for you, like you had done for him. This makes you grin as you hand him the bottle. JJ then realises that he doesn’t really know how to do what you did for him. That kind of small, soft, intimate touching was foreign to him. 

He squeezes way too much shampoo into his hand, but you pay that no mind. He starts slow, trying to remember the way your fingers moved on his scalp, but in the end knowing that he just wasn’t good at giving head massages. 

“I used way too much.” He states, watching as suds continue to produce from your locks.  

“It’s okay.” You hum watching the bubbles disappear down the drain. “I set out clothes for you when you’re ready, I’m probably gonna be another minute” You tell him, referring to the other bottles you had in the shower that you still had to use. 

“Okay, thank you” He kisses you as he exits the shower. You finish up quickly, wanting to be next to him, and hoping that his thoughts as he sits alone don’t carry him away like they had before. 

You find that he left his tee shirt for you, like he had on nights before. You wear the shirt that smelled of him along with a pair of comfortable running shorts and head to the spare bedroom of the chateau that JJ called his most nights. 

You spot JJ sitting at the edge of the bed, waiting for you. You slowly and carefully climb onto his lap, straddling him and holding his head close to your chest. You notice anxiety still radiating off of him. 

“Hey,” You start softly. “It’s okay, everythings okay-” 

“I love you” He states bluntly as he picks up his head from your chest. 

“What?” You stumble, surprised at his outburst. 

“I love you, and I want to be with you, like, publically, or whatever. I wanna tell the Pouges and-” before he starts rambling, you stop him. 

“I love you too JJ.” This pauses him. 

“Say it again.” 

You giggle, but inhale, knowing that he needs to hear it. 

“JJ.” You start. “I love you.” 

He lets out a breath you didn’t realize he was holding, eyes watering for the millionth time. 

“I still don’t think that I deserve this.” He admits, looking into your eyes with his crystal clear blue ones. 

“You do.” You push his hair back from his face. “And I’ll spend the rest of my life showing you that you do.” 

He was hesitant to accept everything that you had said to him that day, but he never doubted that you would give him your all. This was all he needed to know before he allowed himself fully over to you, kissing you with more desperation and love than ever before. 

“I love you so much.” You muttered into his lips, and from that day on, you would say it again and again, as many times as he needed to hear it. A constant reminder to him that he was deserving and worthy of good, of love, and of you.

Taglist:  @maybe-maybanks​  @myrandom-fandomlife​

[jjmaybankstorys]

“I CAN’T TAKE IT”

Short summary: you are at a party on the beach and topper and rafe talk shit about you. Jj is a little too protective of you though. He pulls out a gun and stuff...You two have a big fight and when you go to apologize Jj is sitting in a jacuzzi....

Also guys requests are always open, so just comment them HERE or text me xx

You and Jj are happier than ever. He is the best you could ever have imagined. But for the last few days he's been very strange. You know about his bail he has to pay because he sacrificed himself for Pobe of the police. But he is so reserved with you and so cold. You don't know what to do. 

That night you had a party on the beach. A lot of people were there. Topper comes to you.

"Hey you sweet princess, can I get you a nice drink?" he asks laughing. 

"Topper watch your mouth!" says Jj as he comes towards you

"Or what? Will the little princess be defended again?" says Rafe as he looks at Topper and laughs, pretending to be a crying baby with his hands.

Jj runs to him and slaps him in the face and he does not stop 

"I SAID WATCH YOUR MOUTH! " Jj yells and punches the shit out of Rafe.

"JJ STOP" you say worried.

"GO Away" he yells.

You step in and try to get Jj out as you get a punch from Rafe.

"FUCK, Rafe I swear you wish you were dead right now" says Jj as he hits harder and harder. 

"Your girlfriend looks really hot for a Pogue JJ" says Rafe out of breath as he takes your hand and pulls you towards him.

Jj takes a gun out of his trousers and points it at Rafe. 

"I swear to you, don't touch her! say one more word..." says Jj 

"Omg JJ" cries Kiara.

"Put the fucking gun down" says Pobe 

Jj does not listen to any of this and continues. He shoots in the air.

"WHAT TO FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?" you shout to Jj when you can no longer hold on. 

The gun falls out of his hand and he looks over at you while he is still sitting on Rafe. 

"What the hell is wrong with you" you say again

He now gets up and walks towards you. 

"what did you say?" he says with a look you have never seen on him before.

"you could have killed someone, you don't realize that. 'damn it!' you say aloud

"I was just trying to protect you. What the fuck are you trying to tell me?!" he says angrily.

"JJ, why are you like this? What's going on with you?' you say. 

He comes closer with an aggressive look. 

"NO go away from me!" you scream loudly. You were scared.

"Wow. So you don't want me to touch you anymore. OK PRINCESS I'll walk away from you, but don't come crying to me later... you stupid bitch" he says pissed 

"JUST FUCK YOU JJ" you scream in tears and run away. 

"FUCK" yells JJ and kicks his foot in the sand.

—-

You haven't seen each other since that day. It's been a week and a half...

—-

At JohnBs

-

"JJ come out you must eat" shouts JohnB through his cabin.

"Leave me the fuck alone JohnB" he says angrily

JohnB pulls him out and they sit down on the porch.

"JJ why don't you go and see her? It's been a long time since you've seen each other. Why do you wait so long, go to her. I can see how it hurts you" says JohnB

"I can't... Shit I have to pay for restitution, I have to deal with my dad, I have to go to my girlfriend and make everything alright ... "I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE. Fuck it, I mean nothing fucking matters any more," says Jj and goes home.

—-

At Kiaras

—-

"I think I'll go and see him now. It has been so long and he is not coming. Damn it. I must go to him." 

It's already dark and you're going to his place. 

When you get there, you see a hot tub? Yeah, a hot tub. And JJ's in it. 

"What the fuck? JJ, did you buy that?" you say angrily

"heyyyyyy you..yes I did" he says laughing.

He's sitting there with a bottle of champagne in his hand in his sunglasses. He has his golden chain on which you find so attractive. He is obviously drunk. 

"How much did that cost?" you say

"Um... well with the generator, the petrol and oh express delivery... pretty much all of it." he says 

"ALL OF IT? You spend all the money in one day?" 

"yeah burned a whole right through my pocket....but I mean like, come on, like, look at this" he says smiling.

  "so what? Can't a man have a little luxury in his life? Come on all this scrimpin' and scrapin'... (he starts to sound whiny)... I mean like... you only live once, right? Enough of this emotional shit. Get in the cats ass. Come on....That's what I named her" says JJ

"Oh I almost forgot"

He is turning on a glowing disco ball that is hanging from a tree.

"Yeah that's right. I know...Disco mode...That's right baby." he says with a desperate smile. 

"Are you kidding me? You could've paid for restitution. You could have done anything to help people or to help YOU. "Anything would have been better", you say angrily.

Jj looks away with his hand going over his face.

"Okay well you know what? I didn't do that!" he yells.

Meanwhile he stands up and you see an unbelievable amount of bruises and injuries on his upper body. 

"I got a hot tub. For my friends. You know what, screw friends. I got a hot tub for you, my family." he says and he starts to cry a little while talking. 

"What the hell" you say

"I got this for you! Look what I did for you babe. All right? Look at this! 

"JJ" you say with a worried look and tears in your eyes. 

"no just stop being emotional. It's fine okay." he says crying

"I mean it's sweet-right? Everything. Just get in" he sobs as you come and hug him 

"I just couldn't do it.. I CANT TAKE HIM ANYMORE" he says and cries out loud.

"I was gonna kill him" he says as he collapses and bursts into tears.

"I just wanted to do the right thing you know"

"I know baby...I know" you say also sobbing while holding him in your arms.

"Baby" says Jj

"Yeah, baby?" you say.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I called you that and I got so mad, I just... I wanted to protect you. I couldn't stand to lose you,and I couldn't live with myself. You're the only person who can give me a hold. I couldn't hold myself back because I can't stand anyone hurting you or talking to you like that," says Jj still tearfully.

"Baby, it's all right. I'm sorry too I shouldn't have overreacted like that. Jj I am always here for you. I will always stand behind you, you know that. You won't lose me. I was only worried about you because you had a gun and I was scared," you say desperately. 

"scared of me." Jj answers with tears in his eyes.

"No... I-I... you came at me so aggressively, I..." 

"Oh my god...baby you thought I was gonna hit you. Hurt you? YOU?.....I'm becoming my dad. I am my dad. I can't take this any more. I can't take it. You're too good for me," he says sobbing and walks away from you.

"No,baby,wait... wait" you call after him" 

"How could you think I would hurt you? How can I be such a bad person that I make you feel like I'm going to hurt you? Baby... I... I can't do this. I would never do anything to hurt you. You're my life,my world,my angel. "Babe, I'm such a piece of shit..." he says. 

"No Jj stop. Stop it. You are not a piece of shit. I love you baby i was scared for you. I always will be. And I couldn't stop myself. Only you got so aggressive, I was just scared," you say. 

"Babe I don't know how to apologize. I'm so sorry,I just... just..."

"Say it" you say and look at him 

"I hate him. He is to blame for everything. He turns me into this person who calls you a fucking bitch. I mean, how?" he says. 

"Baby I know. I know. But you have me. I'm all yours and that's not gonna change." 

"You're only mine, right?!" he says worriedly

"Forever" you promise him.

—————————————————-

I really hope you liked it. Feel free to leave any comments or REQUESTS HERE if you have any.

You can find my MASTERLIST HERE.

[fandom-puff]

Tommy falling for a POC entrepreneur would include...

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x Reader Requested by: @mazuru7​ Prompts: none AN: Thank you for requesting! I hope you enjoy this :). If I used any words/terms wrong, please let me know so I can educate myself! My tag list and requests are open <3  Warnings: implied period-typical prejudice, but no explicit abuse

Shelby Company Ltd prides itself on being inclusive- some of it’s most influential members are women, and it is one of the only white-owned companies which treats it’s POC employees as equals

He has lots of respect for you- both as a businesswoman and as a person

You first come to him, needing a loan to get your small business set up- selling hair and makeup products catered towards other people of colour, as they were very rare to find in shops and far too expensive for the everyday woman. 

Your meeting goes very well, and you walk out of the office with a premises and enough for a few months’ rent while your business gets going

whenever he walks past your little shop on one of the lesser known streets of Birmingham, he makes sure to tip his cap to you as you wave through the window. 

It’s all going well and you’re paying back the loan in weekly installments- he loves coming to your shop because of the warm, friendly atmosphere you’ve built there

if he’s upset Ada, he makes sure to ask for your recommendations on a lipstick shade or an eyeshadow.

“No, Mr Shelby, that eyeshadow will not suit her at all. Try this, to make her eyes pop,” 

A week later, he returns to pick up the payment and thank you (Ada had begrudgingly forgiven him) but what he sees makes his stomach drop. 

Your shop, normally so classy and beautiful is charred and smoking after being torched and vandalised by some drunken racists who didn’t like the amount of black people your shop attracted. 

You look up at Tommy as he comes through the door with a frown on his face

His frown softens when he sees your eyes glinting with tears. “What happened?” he asks and you sigh, trying to salvage some of your products. 

“Petrol bomb. The lads down at the Cock and Ox pub didn’t like my clientele,” you replied bitterly. “the back room is relatively alright, I’ll get your payment,”

he takes off his cap as you disappear into the back room. when you return with a few crumpled notes, he’s sweeping some of the bigger pieces of wood away. “I don’t want your money,” he said firmly. “You need it more than me until you get back on your feet,” 

“Mr Shelby, there is no ‘getting back on my feet’,” you said, not looking at him. “You’re not stupid. You know why they did it,” you folded your arms and looked around, your life’s work and your dreams since you were a little girl melted and burnt at your feet. 

“I’ll send some men to help you clean up. Cock and Ox pub, you say?” you nod, and he’s out the door. 

True to his word, three men are sent to help you clear out the shop and store your unharmed products away safely 

“Sorry about your shop, Miss,” one of the men says gently. “If it’s any consolation, Tommy and his brothers went to that pub and found out who did it. Moss is on the case now, and Tommy’s cut them a new smile,” 

You always thought it was odd the way his cap glinted in the light...

[hotdadlicense]

today i got in my car to leave work and my fuel light came on which fine thats standard for me so i drove home the heavy traffic way to stop at the servo and got some petrol and was like fuck it lets do a full tank so i did but then when i went to pay i pulled my card out and done paywave BUT it was like $101.59 so it was like pin code please :) and i was like omg i don't know this and i think the guy was laughing at me but i put in a pin that i thought it was and it was DECLINED and i was like okay thats fine i have literally so much cash cos my other job pays me cash in hand so i OPEN my wallet and it literally has one singular note in there and i remember oh i put all my money in the bank YESTERDAY so i'm like well fuck and the guy. the very sweet cashier guy. whom is LAUGHING at me. is like. if you wanna use your one note and then paywave the rest, it shouldn't ask you for your pin then cos under a hundred dollars. so we did that and it all worked and i was like thank you thankyou so much. so now have a full tank and know that the sweet guy at the servo thinks i'm incredibly stupid

[thirsty4theextraordinary]

Everything Burns - Chapter 15

Pairing: Ledger Joker X OC

Warnings: Fire, violence, implied violence. 

Word count: 2081

Previous Chapters: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 l Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14

Chapter 15: Better Class of Criminal

By the time midday came around The Joker and Jester were ready and waiting. He had briefed her on his plan or rather as he called it, 'idea' of going to pay Harvey Dent a visit in hospital.

He had asked Scarlett to get him a nurses outfit so early that morning she had gone home to raid her closet finding one that was given to her by mistake and was far too large.

It was an odd turn her life had taken but she was rather enjoying it and she could no longer see her life any other way, the thoughts of going back to work filled her with dread, but the thought of a life without Jack was even worse.

She had agreed to go with him and a few of the 'boys' to the meeting with the mob that afternoon, to pick up the Joker's payment.

Jester prepared herself to leave as she pulled on her boots, the boys switched on the TV and something caught her ear. With one boot on and the other off she hurried over in an odd limp-y fashion and snatched the remote out of the goon's hand before turning the channel back to what it was just on.

On the TV was the usual news anchor for GCN and below him was the caption.

Later on GCN

REVEALED: BATMAN'S TRUE IDENTITY

In the upper left corner of the screen was a video link to another man.

"He's a credible source, an M&A lawyer from a leading consultancy. He says he's waited as long as he can for Batman to do the right thing. Now he's taking matters into his own hands. We'll be live, at 5, with the true identity of the Batman. Call in at 5 to have your say." Said the News anchor and Jester quickly pulled on her other boot before running to tell Joker.

"So he knows who the Bat really is and he's going to broadcast it on TV," clarified Joker, looking up at her from behind his desk, she simply nodded. He burst out into hysterical laughter and she was a little taken aback. She had expected him to be pleased but not this happy, but then this was Jack and he didn't do things by half measures.

"Well you said there was a number do you remember it?" he asked and she nodded he held out a pen and scrap of paper and she wrote down the number that had come up on screen.

"Well done Jester!" he said laughing again before he pocketed the number and stood pulling on his coat.

At 3 thanks to the Joker's police 'connections,' they were told about Maroni going to see Gordon. They knew he had ratted them out, having told Gordon where The Joker was going to be. The 'boys' were sent on a small errand after that to fill the basement of Gotham General with a large amount of ammonium nitrate. They had it rigged up within the hour but were not back in time for the meeting so The Joker and Jester were left with just four goons. The hospital explosion would be the distraction they needed to get the cops off their backs while they paid Harvey a visit.

She was surprised how quickly the Joker could get things done, and it was somewhat of an honour to witness him at work.

He caught her staring at him when he got off the phone with one of the goons and shot her a quizzical look.

"What?" he asked, his eyebrows knitting together.

"Nothing. It's just awe inspiring to watch your brain work. I mean less than an hour ago you were told about a police ambush and already you have a way out and a pretty spectacular one at that. I just forget sometimes that you are an absolute genius" she said and he chuckled.

"Come on, let's go check on our guest," he said, as he walked past her his hand ran along her side, it was some kind of a habit now.

After a night in the boot of a stolen cop car, Lau was surprisingly well, and Jester squeezed his cheek playfully when they opened the boot to make sure he wasn't dead, yet.

The meeting with the mob was on a container ship, the money was already there and waiting. At 4 they left for the meeting, knowing full well the police were planning their ambush.

They arrived at the docks just past 4 and The Joker jumped out the van before offering a hand to Jester which she gladly took. The goons followed behind with a bound and gagged Lau. The docks were empty apart from the enormous red coloured container ship. It was enormous and Jester looked around the ship curiously. There must have been thousands of shipping containers all stacked at least ten high. As a door to one creaked slightly, something snapped inside of Jester and she stopped in her tracks. She couldn't tell if she wanted to laugh or cry. Joker turned back to look at her, watching the turmoil going on inside her head. The sound of a chainsaw motor rumbled in her ears. 

"Come on Jester," he said and she seemed to come back to herself, a twisted grin spreading across her face. She skipped over to him laughing slightly to herself.

He led them down into a large room within the container ship, in the middle of the room was a huge pile of money. It must have been at least half a storey high and spread out across much of the room.

"Put him on the top" the Joker said to the goons motioning to Lau, and they dragged him up quickly. Either Lau was stupid or very clever as he did not struggle as the Joker climbed up the pile behind the goons with a chair. He placed it on the top and the goons pulled Lau into it before the Joker dismissed them and left them to go look out for the Chechen.

He began to tie Lau, who was now dressed in a straight jacket to the seat.

"He's here" shouted the voice of the goon no less than a few minutes later and the Joker looked up from his place, before ducking back down to continue tying Lau to the chair securely.

Jester stood back to lean on the wall as she heard footsteps approaching. The Chechen was a skinny man with a shallow face and sharp features and he smiled disgustingly at Jester as he entered the room.

"Not so crazy as you look." said the Chechen loudly to the Joker who began to stand up on top of the pile.

"I told you, I'm a man of my word," said Joker standing up fully, on top of the pile of money before he patted Lau on the head sarcastically and jumped down the pile, sliding down most of it to come to a standing stop in front of one of the goons. He looked back at the money as piles of it slid down in his wake.

"Where's the Italian?" the Joker asked though he knew full well that Maroni would not be coming.

"I don't know, but he's not here so he doesn't get a share. We go 50/50" said Chechen in his broken English. The Joker shrugged at this before picking up wads of money and beginning to launch them up at the Lau hitting him in that face a few times.

"Please" Lau begged and Jester laughed loudly as yet another wad of money hit him.

"Joker-man, what you do with all your money?" asked the Chechen pointing to the pile with his lit cigar.

"You see, I'm a guy of simple taste," said the Joker turning to the Chechen.

"I enjoy... dynamite … and gunpowder... and gasoline," he said the last one much louder than the rest. The Joker took a step back, as a goon with a gas can came in and began to soak the bottom layer of cash in petrol.

"What the...?" exclaimed the Chechen rushing towards the goon angrily.

"Ah, dah, dah. dah." sung the Joker pointing his gun at the Chechen who stopped dead in his tracks.

"And you know the thing that they all have in common?" the Joker asked the Chechen approaching him again.

"They're cheap," he said with a slight growl in his voice. Jester glanced down at her phone, checking the time, it was just past 5, and she shot the Joker a meaningful look.

"You said you were a man of your word," said the Chechen , the cigar in his mouth causing him to slur.

"Oh, I am." said the Joker before he pulled the cigar from the Chechen's mouth. He held the cigar up blowing on the end a few times.

"I'm only burning my half," he said before he turned and threw the cigar at the petrol-soaked pile of money. It was engulfed in flames in seconds and Lau began to wiggle in his restraints. The Chechen face went grey and he looked at the burning cash in horror.

"All you care about is money." spat the Joker to him.

"This town deserves a better class of criminal... and I'm gonna give it to them." said the Joker, his face close to the Chechen's.

"Tell your men they work for me now." said the Joker poking the Chechen hard in the chest with his gun.

"This is my city," he said and the Chechen moved his face away.

"They won't work for a freak," the Chechen said.

"Freak." mimicked the Joker making fun of the Russian's accent.

"Why don't we cut you up into little pieces and feed you to your pooches? Hm?" the Joker said as he brought his knife out and waved it in front of the Chechen's face.

"And then we'll see how loyal a hungry dog really is." shouted the Joker, as a tow of the Chechen men came up behind the Chechen and held a blade to the Russians throat, before pulling him away.

"It's not about money, it's about sending a message." muttered the Joker to himself, before he pulled his phone out his pocket and began to dial.

"Everything burns" he cried loudly as Jester began to laugh.

"I had a vision" began the Joker into the phone, after a few moments Jester moved over to him and began to play with the buttons of his waistcoat.

"Of a world without Batman. The mob ground out a little profit and the police tried to shut them down one block at a time. And it was so boring! I've had a change of heart. I don't want Mr Reese spoiling everything but why should I have all the fun? Let's give someone else a chance. If Coleman Reese isn't dead in 60 minutes then I’ll blow up a hospital" said the Joker before he hung up and pushed his phone back into his pocket. He looked down at the raven haired clown still playing with the buttons of his waistcoat.

He reached out and pulled her chin up so she was looking at him before his arms moved to encircle her waist, he leant in and kissed her hard and she let out a squeal of delight. He bit hard on her bottom lip, drawing blood and she grinned at him.

"Come on gorgeous," he said, taking her hand in his and leading her away from the flaming pile of cash.

The Joker really was a man of his word as before they left the ship, he did indeed chop the Chechen up into little pieces and feed him to his beloved Rottweilers.

"Can we keep them?" Jester cooed as she knelt down and stroked one's head as it ate lumps of its old master.

"You want to?" The Joker asked as she began to scratch the dog behind the ear, causing its back leg to kick strangely.

"Yes, please, they're so cute and they are trained as attack dogs, they could be useful," she whined looking up at him with big eyes.

"Sure, put the dogs in the van," the Joker said, turning to his new men, who without question led the three enormous dogs away.

"Thank you," she said getting up and moving closer to him.

"Anything for you" he purred against her ear as he brought her close to him again.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Thank you so much for reading, sorry it took me longer to post this chapter but things have been a bit mad at home recently. Hope you enjoying please, please like and reblog. 

[phenomenal1500]

Heaven On Hold | Peaky Blinders

Chapter 25: Not Breaking This Time

For Chapter 24: Everything Goes Wrong check here.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tommy pushed me aside like I was some sort of fucking annoying piece of paper that was left on the wrong desk and he instead talked with my mother about a subject I was to irritated to listen to. Then out of a sudden Finn walked in. My mind was in the clouds and I couldn't hear probably what he had said, the only thing I could think about was Alfie, who had screwed us over. Again.

"Put 4 cans of petrol in the boot of my car and bring it around. And put cigarettes and a lamp in the box. And fetch Michael. I need him." Tommy ordered and Finn left again with me already afraid of what Tommy knew had happened.

~~~

I knew it was wrong what Alfie did, just, I couldn't let Tommy kill him. Not only because of my fucking stupid love for the man, but also because of business. With fast movements I ran past Tommy, only to be grabbed at my wrist and I was suddenly back at the place I first stood.

"You are going nowhere." Tommy dangerously pointed at me. "Understand?"

I couldn't do anything except for nodding and I desperate had let out a sigh underneath my heavy breathing. My eyes silently glanced at Tommy until he had disappeared behind the door and then my attention switched back to my broken mother. She looked devastated and defeated and I hated the sight, though, I couldn't do much about it. She still thought about her painted being the main reason this all happened, but, how badly I wanted to comfort her, I couldn't tell her who it really was. Tommy had false accused her for a reason and I didn't want to be on his bad side today nor ever.

"Mom, I'm going for a drive. Back to me home in London for a bit. I'll be back in two days or so." All she did was sign for me it was okay with a sloppy hand gesture before she walked over to get a glass full of red wine. Pressing my lips together I forced myself to shut my mouth and I stormed off, trying to find my car. It took a while, but luckily I had found it standing on the streets on the backside of our big building. Man, I hated lying, but I didn't had a big choice, and even if I had told her honestly where I was going, she wouldn't even care in this moment.

~~~

"I asked you to come alone and unarmed." I saw Tommy walking up to Alfie who had jumped out of his car. His face had changed, he didn't look as young as before, but neither old. Not that much time had passed between him and I seeing each other and it made me wonder what was wrong with him.

"Yeah, well, alone I ain't never gonna do, am I?" Alfie's loud voice echoed through the dark, former factory. "And as for the cane, don't worry about it. That is just my sciatica. It always plays up around the winter and the summer solstice." I knew that wasn't true, I could see it in his eyes.

"What have you got for me, Alfie?"

"What did you bring me out here for?"

"It's on the way to somewhere I need to be in a hurry."

"Huh-...."

"What have you got for me?" Tommy asked the question for the second time, demanding an answer.

"Well, seeing as you was prepared to pay such an exorbitant amount for this information, I decided to give you value for money. So, here are the names of all the men in England who I would approach, right, if I had a Fabergé egg for sale. There you go. And then, here's all the men on that list, you know, who would buy the old Fabergé egg even if they knew that that item was stolen, eh-.." Alfie handed over two pieces of paper with Tommy immediately surveying them. "Then in come your curious fucking gyppo question. I won't ask, but, um.... here is a list of the men who would buy a Fabergé because of their wife's obsession." Silent soon followed as he handed over the last piece of paper and Tommy's eyes narrowed.

He had after handed over the money and Alfie quickly wanted to leave. "Oh, yes. Thank you Mr. Shelby. Lovely doing business with you." Alfie acted as if he was going to turn around and as soon as Tommy did the same, both Jews stepped towards him from behind as Tommy check the papers again while standing still. Then it happened, Tommy's eyebrows furrowed and while putting away the lists, I could hear a pistol being loaded and it was aimed at Alfie, though, Alfie's 'bodyguard' did the same.

"You left a name off the list, Alfie."

"Did I?"

"Yeah. I've already spoken to my people in the jewelry quarter, experienced dealers. They tell me there are only three man in Britain whose wives are obsessed with Fabergé. Makes them good customers. You missed the richest one off the list."

"Yeah, well, if you knew already how come you dragged me all the way out into the fucking oggin, mate?" Alfie calmly stated as he glanced up, seeing me sitting on the beams attached to the high ceiling with a concerned face.

"Three reasons. Reason one, by withholding a name that you most certainly know, you proven to me that you have done a deal with the Odd Fellows. It was you who told them about the tunnels. You who told them about the fucking deal with the Soviets. Reason two, the name of the man that you are withholding must be my enemy otherwise you wouldn't be protecting him. He is now a man I can use. Reason three, you have hurt my niece by betraying before, I won't let that happen again." 

[petty-revenge-stories]

Refuelling and driveoffs.

Some years ago I was working in a petrol station, run by an Indian chap and his family. I was casual and only did Friday and Saturday nights, and sometimes a shift to cover someone who was sick.

Anyway, the boss got a bee in his bonnet about driveoffs. (That's when someone fills up and then leaves without paying.) According to his little fantasy world, that was the fault of not only the driver, but of the person on service. He decides, without consultation that he would simply deduct the cost of the drive off from the wages of the person on till.

I came into work on Friday night, collected my pay from the drawer, and found I was about $120 short. As I generally only earned about $300, this was a big chunk. I rank the boss and inquired why my pay was short. He explained that as I'd had two drive offs, totalling $120, he took it out of my pay. I explained that that was illegal, and that he had to pay the rest. He refused. Okay then. I close the store, turn off the lights, lock the doors and go home. This is friday night, possibly the busiest night of the week.

The next morning comes. I get a series of increasingly desperate voice mails (As I switched off my phone until I woke up) The signs haven't been changed, the stock hasn't been put up, the fuel delivery turned away (As no-one was there to sign for it), deliveries of food and drinks have not been accepted. Basically, the weekend was fucked for the store. Eventually the boss manages to get a hold of me, where he spends the next ten minutes screaming down the phone, claiming I was inconsiderate, rude and a bad person. I replied, "Play stupid games, win stupid prizes." and hung up on him.

Eventually his wife (who was the accountant) rang, gave a fairly sincere apology, said that my lost wages would be in my next paycheck, and to please come into work that evening. "No. I need that cash now. This week. If it's in the drawer when I get there this evening, I'll work. Otherwise, I'll leave." The money was there. He refused to talk to me for several weeks (Like I cared), but he didn't try that crap on me again.

* (source) story by (/u/valheru1000)