#patty plenty
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rockandroll1967 · 6 days ago
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peachy-keenss · 18 days ago
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The Monster Mash is on! Sketched up some references for my au!!!!!
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warningsine · 2 years ago
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ailithnight · 17 days ago
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Didn't they kinda make the divorce canon?
we need more divorcebaiting. how strongly can canon imply (without technically outright stating) that these two characters are bitterly, acrimoniously divorced? essential we explore this
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hopskipandarump · 5 months ago
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i just finished eating the fattest double cheesburger
thought you should know
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myhungryears · 1 year ago
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Seafood - Trout Patties This simple recipe honors the trout fishing season by using fresh trout fillets, onion, celery, and lemon-pepper seasoning.
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deusexautomobilis · 1 year ago
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Trout Patties Recipe This simple recipe honors the trout fishing season by using fresh trout fillets, onion, celery, and lemon-pepper seasoning. 2 tablespoons prepared horseradish, 3 large eggs, 1/2 cup seasoned bread crumbs, 1 stalk celery finely chopped, 3 tablespoons butter melted, 1 small onion chopped, 1/2 cup vegetable oil for frying or as needed, aluminum foil, 1.5 teaspoons lemon-pepper seasoning, 3 pounds skinless boneless trout fillets, 3 tablespoons lemon juice, 3/4 cup ketchup, 2 tablespoons mayonnaise
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gregmarriage · 1 year ago
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watching simpsons and mama bouvier is so real.
marge: “mom! you made it! how are you?”
mama bouvier: “i have Laryngitis. it hurts to talk. so, i’ll only say one thing…..you never do anything right.”
selma: “it obviously comes from our side from the side of the family, huh, mom?”
mama bouvier: “leave me alone.”
mama bouvier: “at the risk of losing my voice, i’ll just say one thing. i’m sorry i came”
mama bouvier: “i’d say something comforting… but my voice…”
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tgcg · 9 months ago
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both of them
TG: im the worlds first playtime rapper
TG: my name is lil homie giggle
TG: they subjected me to a lethal dose of whimsy radiation during childhood in an experiment gone horribly silly
TG: im hopelessly addicted to running around and play wrestling and eating ice cream at the park
TG: this is my cohort in living laughing and loving
TG: my apprentice and tanglebuddy
CG: M.C. HUGBUMP.
CG: MY LIPS ARE PERMANENTLY CONTORTED INTO A LACKADAISICAL GRIN SO MAGICAL THAT THE UNTRAINED EYE CAN'T FUCKING PERCEIVE OF IT.
CG: MY LAUGHTER LEVELS CITIES IN A CATEGORY 10 HAPPINESS EVENT.
TG: he went to the blood bank and all they found inside was cherry slushy
CG: EVERY TIME SOMEONE BUMPS OUR RAPS, I PERSONALLY TEAR THEIR SOULS OUT OF THEIR BODIES AND TICKLE THEIR METAPHYSICAL SHAME GLOBES WITH THE MOST ILLICIT OF MERRYMAKING TUNES.
CG: MY SOUND IS SO EXPLOSIVELY GIDDY THAT ALL WHO WITNESS CAN'T HOLD BACK THE FOUNTAIN OF RAINBOW BILE CONGEALING IN THEIR SQUAWK GAPERS. OPEN THE FUNGATES AND WASH ME AWAY, LAY ME ADRIFT IN PSYCHEDELIC SODA BUBBLES AND PARTY FRACTALS.
TG: were out here putting the ill in silly
TG: playas in the way we love to monkey around
TG: and when we rap we drop goddamn party grenades
CG: AND EACH NIGHT, AFTER LEAVING THE STUDIO AND SKIPPING ALL THE WAY TO OUR HIVE, WE ENTRENCH OURSELVES IN A CUDDLE FUDDLE SO FUCKING FROLICSOME THAT THE NEIGHBORS ARE TOO BUSY CRYING OF JOY TO CALL THE FUN POLICE.
TG: fun police cant even handle these levels of delight they can call in backup all they want
TG: we just play games with em
CG: I'M BRANDISHING A GAME OF YAHTZEE LIKE A LETHAL WEAPON.
TG: doesnt even know how to play but hes got spirit a fucking plenty
CG: I AM THE KNIGHT OF GOOD.
TG: i am the knight of smile
CG: HE'S PLAYING PATTY CAKE WITH YOUR HUMAN MOMMY EVERY NIGHT.
TG: hes wanted in every state for funny laundering and assault on police officers
CG: AND WE JUST GOT SIGNED
TG: to pickles records
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rootspiral · 1 month ago
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Agatha All Along deep dive: episode 2 part 2
(Wandavision entries: [1][2][3])
(AAA entries: ep1 [1][2][3][4] ep2 [1][2][3][4] ep3 [1][2][3] ep4 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][+1] ep5 [1][2][3][4][5] ep6 [1][2][3] ep7 [1][2][3][4][5][6] ep8 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7])
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here's another Agatha reflection that I didn't notice yesterday - it's a theme, I tell you
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she's essentially doing what she does at the beginning of Wandavision, although with no prep time and no magic for costume changes: a ditzy over the top wife with the made up farway husband
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I'd get a couple more candles back there, Lilia. You missed a spot.
But jokes aside, you know what she's doing? She's taking the piss out of agatha. this is Lilia we're talking about, the Seer. her job is literally to See. she knew who and what Agatha was the moment she stepped in, and frankly it's insulting that Agatha would try such cheap tricks on her. this is a little "fuck you agatha" before they get down to business and lilia can tell her to fuck off too
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and yes, agatha underestimates lilia from the start, which is the point of lilia's character and the lesson she has to internalize. but the thing is, lilia IS amazing, powerful and wise from the very beginning. this whole scene is Lilia being better, smarter and more powerful than Agatha, she just doesn't have the self-confidence to recognize it
(but WHY beauford?? best name she could have picked)
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lilia IS in control. she sets the pace of this encounter. agatha is a step behind, which is rare for her
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fuck off, look at that stupid condescending little face
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YASSS read her for filth! but let's recap her exact words (so I have an excuse to listen again to Patti's exquisite delivery and voice control)
"You've been under the influence of another. Someone you hurt." Wanda. And we go back to Agatha torturing Wanda and what it's doing to her, the guilt she feels.
"They took your agency. For three years." Agency is one of the main themes of this show and something that will touch Lilia up close too.
"It's not the first time your witch kin betrayed you." Not the other way round! Yes, Agatha has betrayed, she has hurt and killed. But we need to acknowledge that she was betrayed by her kin, her coven, her community first.
"But you survive, in a way few do." Agatha is a survivor. She dragged herself out of a hellpit, and she was maimed and turned into something horrible in the process. But she fucking survived.
"In fact, that's why you're here." Lilia knows EXACTLY what Agatha is planning, she knows that she's here to kill and she knows why. She knew from the start.
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agatha's face falling more and more
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YES. FUCK YES. THE PERFECT DICTION TROUGH GRITTED TEETH. SHE IS NOT INTERESTED!! GIVE THIS WOMAN ALL THE MONOLOGUES BECAUSE SHE'S GONNA CRUSH THEM
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I know, Billy. this is also the way I look at stage goddess patti lupone
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SHE IS CRYING AGAIN! DO YOU SEE IT!!! DO YOU SEE THIS SHIT?!!?!? SHE'S CRYING AT BEING SEEN SO CLEARLY, BECAUSE SHE'S ALWAYS HIDING. AND SHE'S CRYING WITH RELIEF, TRIUMPH AND GUILT BECAUSE SHE'S FOUND THIS AMAZING EXTRAORDINARY WONDERFUL WITCH AND SHE HAS TO KILL HER SO SHE WON'T DIE HERSELF TONIGHT
DON'T TOUCH ME, I'M IN A GLASSCASE OF EMOTIONS.
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that's a predator right there
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nuh-uh babe, she's got your number. you are not going to win this one. (i'm drinking up all the details in her room. look at that old singer sewing machine, that's a 70s or 80s model - everything in the room is at least 40 years old. Is she making herself a quilt? is she cold at night? we know she doesn't have the money to pay her bills)
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I KNOW, BILLY!!!
lol, you know when patti told joe locke something like, 'sorry you're stuck here with all these old ladies'?? and he was like, no you don't undeRSTAND
(I mean, Patti has met plenty of gay boys. she understands.)
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Lilia jumps for a moment to episode 5 and hears the ghost of Agatha's mom yelling at her. (aw, her chairs are all mismatched.)
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Billy is always so polite. and look at Agatha's body language, she's doing the same thing she did when torturing Wanda, kind of hugging herself. both predatory and defensive, because, once again, she is not as comfortable as she seem. she is not being sincere, she is out to manipulate lilia, and she's not happy about it
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I live for lilia's rants about the commodification and gentrification of the queer witch community (look at those gorgeous italian plates!)
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she actually did bite a kid once
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"when I was chased out of every village I passed through for accurately predicting tragedy? NO, I do NOT. BEAT IT, harkness!" I adore her delivery. and also. ouch. ouch. my sweet lilia. so many years, so much pain
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When watching this scene for the first time, you identify with Billy and just sit back and enjoy these two extraordinary witches and actresses working together. the first episodes are high on comedy but they all have a serious, upsetting undertone, and it's especially gratifying to see how both actresses work with voice, face and body language to express what they can't say explicitly. Lilia is an incredibly old, wise, experience witch, but also tired, alone, humiliated. She's been jumping through time and she's really frightened about it. And right now? She's quite literally going against the most dangerous serial killer of witches in known history. She can stand her own against Agatha and then some, but she is not confident enough to see it yet.
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A question that reads ironic but is delivered without a hint of irony. Why are you dragging a child into this? You of all people. Why are you putting a literal child in danger?
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an ironic answer also delivered with no irony. it's threatening, and it's also protective of Billy
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agatha gambles: maybe she can get lilia mad enough later and get blasted anyway. maybe she has other means to steal (a kiss, mayhaps?) And Billy better not hear this, she's not gonna kill him or anything but, you know, keeping her options open. just in case.
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lilia DOES NOT need to return to her clairvoyant glory. lilia is one of the most if not the most powerful seer. her isolation is self-imposed. agatha is completely out of her depth here.
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case in point: agatha does successfully con jen and alice, but she does NOT con lilia. not even close. she had nothing. lilia was in control of the conversation the whole time, seeing through agatha the whole time, and she was always going to say no.
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"Three of Pentacles." collaboration, community, singular voices waiting to harmonize. Lilia REACHES THROUGH TIME and MAKES herself join Agatha. How fucking heartwrenching is that???? Agatha never tricked Lilia into doing anything. Lilia is sitting at the tarot table in her Glinda costume, for the first time fully confident and fully aware in her power, and she just - she grabs herself in the past and says, this is your family. this is your coven. you have chosen it. go and reclaim it. that is why Lilia follows them to the Road. not because Agatha is powerful, but because Lilia is.
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and present Lilia is just so scared. she knows this is going to kill her.
FUCK I love this show so much!
(and a quick shoutout to @sapphicjew, I'm loving your commentary!)
go to episode 2 part 3
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gardenwalrus · 2 months ago
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Pattie Boyd on herself, George, John and Cynthia being spiked with LSD-laced coffee by their dentist, John Riley
Our dentist, John Riley, had turned us on to acid. He and his girlfriend invited John, Cynthia, George, and me to dinner at his house in Hyde Park Square one evening sometime in 1965. [...] We had a lovely meal, plenty to drink, and at the end George said, “Let’s go.” We were planning to see some friends playing at the Pickwick Club. John Riley’s girlfriend jumped to her feet. “You can’t,” she said. “You haven’t had any coffee yet. It’s ready, I’ve made it - and it’s delicious.” We sat down again and drank the coffee she was insistent we should have. But then we were really keen to get away and John Lennon said, “We must go now. These friends of ours are going to be on soon. It’s their first night, we’ve got to go and see them.” And John Riley said, “You can’t leave.” “What are you talking about?” said John Lennon. “You’ve just had LSD.” “No, we haven’t.” “Yes, you have,” said our host. “It was in the coffee.” John Lennon was absolutely furious. “How dare you fucking do this to us?” he said.
George and I said, “Do what?” We didn’t know what LSD was. John Lennon was the only one of us who knew because he had read about it in Playboy. He said, “It’s a drug,” and as it began to take effect we felt even more strongly that we didn’t want to be there. I wondered if the dentist, who hadn’t had any coffee, had given it to us hoping the evening might end in an orgy. We were desperate to escape. John Riley said he would drive us and we should leave our car with him. “No,” we said. We piled into my Mini, which seemed to be shrinking, and drove to the club where our friends were playing. All the way the car felt smaller and smaller, and by the time we arrived we were completely out of it. People kept recognising George and coming up to him. They were moving in and out of focus, then looked like animals. We clung to each other, feeling surreal. Soon we moved on to the Ad Lib Club - we knew it and thought we might feel better if we were in familiar surroundings. It wasn’t far from the Pickwick so we walked and on the way I remember trying to break a shop window. The Ad Lib was on the top floor, above the Prince Charles Theatre in Leicester Place, and we thought the lift was on fire because there was a little red light inside. As the doors opened, we crawled out and bumped into Mick Jagger, Marianne Faithfull, and Ringo. John told them we’d been spiked. The effect of the drug was getting stronger and stronger, and we were all in hysterics and crazy. When we sat down, the table elongated. Hours later we decided to go home. We climbed into the car again and this time George drove - at no more than ten miles an hour, concentrating hard, all the way to Esher. But it felt as though he was doing a thousand miles an hour [...] it was daylight by the time we got home. We went into Kinfauns and locked the gate so that the cleaner wouldn’t come in and find us, put the cat into a room on her own, and sat down. The drug took about eight hours to wear off, but it was very frightening and we never spoke to the dentist again.
- From Pattie Boyd's autobiography Wonderful Tonight: George Harrison, Eric Clapton, and Me (2007)
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mixingandmelting · 2 months ago
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No, Between the Two Of Us - None of Us Are the Sane One
Summary: Childhood to lover trope feat. Dick Grayson where you were best friends with him since the start of his Robin days which was also when he first having a crush on you
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A/N: First time posting in the DC fandom, so please be gentle with me! Also there will be a version for Jason and Tim. ; )
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Being besties with Batman and the first Robin is an experience to say the least. Many fantasize how it might go, romanticizing the prospect and excitement the friendship may bring. For you? Zero out of ten, would not recommend. The public masses claimed them to be heroes, but only you and villains know how unhinged they were. You did not appreciate playing the middleman when the two gave each other the cold shoulder or being the center of their amusement. Especially with Robin. You swore on your nonexistent Aunt Patty’s grave that boy was chaotic evil, the agent of all chaos. You grew paranoid for months having been pranked by him every time he swung by so you wouldn’t do “something stupid”. Or so he said only to get you to scream at the top of your lungs whenever you were hanging around on your apartment’s roof, creeping silently towards you and whispering the most random fact he found. He would then cackle with glee and proceed to rub on the wound by reminding you how the first meeting between you three which led to the constant check-ups  (a whole, another story you rather not remember involving a much younger you and Robin, Santa Claus, and pajamas printed all over with I <3 Batman and Robin).  You tried to get back at him multiple times. You never once won. 
However, there were times when he wasn’t pranking you. Moments like those, he’d simply sit and brood next to you, waiting for you to ask what’s wrong before starting his rant about Batman. With little to no knowledge said man, himself, would visit you and ask about him a few minutes after he leaves. Yes, you did question why they thought it would be a good idea for a kid younger than themselves to mediate between their fights only to give up  when you found yourself going in circles as to why you still chose to be friends with them. Way too complicated and big of a headache for your small head. It didn’t seem like Robin cared either, as he would tell you everything on his mind, not a single thing held back. Hands being held or a head leaning on a shoulder was a must when he talks. When that tradition started you genuinely had no idea but you never thought about it. More like you can’t when you saw the expression he wore. 
What started when both of you were merely children continued on to high school, where you discovered his identity. The way you found out was disappointingly anticlimactic. After the many years you hung out with him, of course you would recognize him right away. The same gremlin laughter, the corny jokes he shared with his fellow peers. Oh, and the fact his hairstyle stayed the same as both Robin and Dick Grayson. 
Dick, on the other hand, obviously hadn’t thought through that. At all. Okay, sure, you were on the more observant side but still, you shouldn’t have been able to piece all that together within a semester. He wasn’t even at school often because of all the missions to the point the school had been frequently calling Bruce and Alfred about his many absences. There were plenty of guys who sounded, talked, and looked like him, including his height. He was careful. Shouldn’t have been a “dead give away”, whatever that meant. So when he came over to comfort you after a mission, hearing how you got stood up at the school’s dance, he wasn’t prepared for you calling him by his name. Worse, he couldn’t even play dumb or pretend to not know what you were saying. Not when you gave him the same eyes you always did that held comfort and support he always seeked, as if understanding everything he was going through. 
With the cat out of the bag, he soon had you meet Batman as Bruce Wayne. He enjoyed the mini meltdown and sense of horror you were having, realizing just who exactly you’ve been chummy with all those years. Maybe he shouldn’t have gloated how you should've treated them better when you gave a mean, actually painful jab to his ribs. Still was worth it. So was the impromptu meeting with his team, Teen Titans, when you started working part-time at the pizza place they always stopped by to eat when celebrating a mission gone well. You didn’t know how silly and adorable you were acting, not as bad when meeting Bruce, but definitely shy and frazzled from being star struck. Well, for a bit that was. An hour later, you were sitting and laughing with them about a mission that involved Condiment King. The way you smiled and brightened the room had him thinking for a moment that he had a shot. After all, you practically met everyone he considered family. It had to be a sign for him to seal the deal. 
It stopped and ended as a thought. When you all started talking about love, he didn’t know as much as how he didn’t know which hurt him more; you saying you weren’t going to be in a relationship ever or you, not friendzoned, but bro-zoned him. You don’t notice the way Wally stiffens or the worried glances Donna shot at him. Starfire voiced opposition to your decision to stay single. Raven, not knowing anything, gave you her support. He most definitely did not appreciate Gar feigning disappointment only to get snapped at for going over the line by Vic. 
He didn’t know how to act around you afterwards when he escorted you home. He knew he was making you worried,  more so when he kept telling you he was fine when you asked if you had done anything to make him uncomfortable. He wanted things to stay the same. Retain the precious relationship that led to his love for you. There was no intention to make that night his last night with you. Yet, how was he supposed to act when he found out he never had a chance from the start? As crazy as it sounded, he once even thought about you being a Grayson. Of course not in high school; when the two of you got much older. It filled him with guilt when he heard from Bruce how you were asking about his well-being. It felt like a knife was being twisted in his heart when letters you wrote were slipped between his homework whenever he had gone to school to get them, belatedly realizing he never gave you his number. All he could reply back was the same, lousy excuse of being busy with missions. 
You, on the other hand, waited, hoped, prayed that Dick would visit you again. You knew somehow it was your fault and you wanted to apologize, make things right. Every night you stood on the rooftop, doing homework or simply reading. The nights you don’t, you left his favorite candy with a note. Batman was the only one who visited you then, though his visits were becoming rare from the increase of crimes occurring all over the world. It was through him you learned about Dick’s decision to leave the state and go to some college in New York by the end of the school year. You ended up rejecting the invitation to go with him to the graduation ceremony, knowing there was no point in seeing Dick again.
So really, Dick should’ve seen it coming when he learned from Alfred that you were leaving on the day of. As if to one up him, you weren’t leaving New Jersey.  You were leaving the states. It didn’t help that he had been forced to hand over Robin’s mantle to Jason not too long after the rejection. He had to face another heartbreak, as he mourned over the Robin who first met you, the body wonder who was your best friend, was no more. He naively thought he had time. To debut and cement his role as Nightwing, leader of Teen Titans while getting himself back together, all to come back to you. It was apparent enough to know he didn’t. Finding out on the day of, his hands fumbled with the keys to his motorcycle, rushing to get to the airport on time. Despite breaking every traffic law in Gotham (which he ended up owing Babs on not getting taken to jail or paying a big ass fine), he arrived too late. He couldn’t call out to you, his eyes taking in the glimpse of your hair  through cracks of the closing gates to TSA. 
Years passed and he tried to get over you. First with Starfire, then with Babs. Zatanna, Helena, Bea, Lori, Clancy, mixing one-night stands in between. But none of them ended up working for him. None of them were you. They didn't have the same humor you had. They didn’t give him the same warm hugs you gave him without him ever having to ask because you simply knew. Hell, the whole reason for things to end with each of them was because they called him out for it. His whole team did. Even his whole family including Bruce, Steph, Duke, Tim, and Damian. He’s not going to talk about what happened with Alfred, Jason, and Cass. He still gets nightmares for what they put him through. 
As he continued failing on nurturing a permanent relationship, you found yourself frequently buying magazines or skimming on the webs on the latest news and gossip covering vigilantes and heroes during your study abroad. You had brought with you newspaper clippings you kept on the Robin you still missed and cherished. You could count the number of times Robin changed, recognizing none of them were Dick. Yet you never found the heart to ask Bruce what had happened, if he was okay. Nor would you have been able to when you left without ever getting some sort of contact information to stay in touch with him. 
Now, he’s in his early thirties and you’re in your late twenties. So much has happened during your lives but you still think of each other. All the what-ifs playing in the back of each other's minds, regret and hope constantly raging back and forth. But not once have either you met even when you came back a few days ago. 
Currently, you’re sitting on the ledge of the same roof of where everything began. Gotham glows beautifully without the stars, its artificial lights so bright it makes the city shine as much as it does in the day. Kicking your legs, you hum mindlessly enjoying the scene. That is until someone calls out your name. 
Your grip slips and you scream, nearly falling to your demise. Or about to until a warm arm quickly wraps itself around your torso and pulls you over to safety. Gently the person places you on the concrete floor, a few seconds passing afterwards as your mind registers you’re still alive. Guess they weren’t expecting you to get angry, two hands quickly in the air and sputtering apologies when you stand back up and rage why no sane person would ever scare the living daylights out of a person sitting on a roof along with profanities that could shame Deathstroke and bring pride to Red Hood. You’re panting in the end and reach towards the can of soda you had placed when you were sitting. And when you take a sip, it then hits to who you had raged on. 
He looks away, a hand covering his face from holding back the laughter that threatens to spill out when your face matches a tomato. You’re barely whispering when you apologize for the profanities, of course you aren’t going to apologize for everything else you both know you’re very much right on that part, horrified and embarrassed that you had done that to a very famous vigilante. Out goes his self-control when you go absolutely silent and start to fidget from the lack of response. He bursts at the face you make from mortification. 
“You haven’t changed one bit.”
You freeze at those words. 
“Do…I know you?”
Immediately he stops. The air turns tense, you looking at him with wariness as he slowly turns himself completely towards you. Gently, he calls out your name. When you continue to look confused, he does it again, taking a step closer and pulling off his mask. 
He can see so much denial in your shaking eyes. The desire of you wanting him to say the person standing in front of you isn’t him. He’s quick to grab both wrists and root you on spot, keen and trained eyes already noticing your feet turning to make a run for it. His grip on you is firm but soft, enduring all the words you thoughtlessly, recklessly say while tugging to get him to let go. 
Eventually you stop, acknowledging there isn’t going to be a chance again in the future for you to speak to him or him to you. In fact, you both most likely would  evade each other for the rest of life if not for now. When he’s sure that you won’t escape, slowly, he lets go and takes a step back.
“..Why?”
There’s a tremor in your voice, the area of concrete in front of your feet becoming bi-colored. You don’t scream. You don’t raise your voice. Dick can feel himself break, his throat and chest constricting, dawning on him how not once you fault him for ruining the friendship between the two of you while listening about, for the longest time, all you desired was to apologize. When you weren’t even in the wrong. Too soon your words start to mesh and trip over each other. He takes the opportunity to open his mouth. 
“I love you.”
Your head snaps up, eyes meeting a smile fill with bitterness and self-loath. Your heart initially refuses to accept everything he tells you, how long ago he started to have a crush on you to how it ended up turning into love. You can never relate how his love for you ruined him where all his relationships with others never lasted for long when it’s him. The gremlin child that held confidence to defy everything on Earth, the gremlin child you developed feelings for. Silence hangs in the air once he’s done. All of a sudden you’re livid. Offended. Dick doesn’t notice, going from rubbing the back of his neck to shifting his weight from one foot to the other, wanting to give you the space to soak everything in. When he finally can’t wait anymore, he rushes to think of something, even resorting to begging for your forgiveness. Not looking down at your hands that slowly reaches for his collar.
“Please, all I really want to say is that I'm sorry. I know I was a dick to you so I don’t even deserve to have chance to ask you to be f-”
It takes Dick a hot minute to realize what’s happening before melting in. His hands make their way towards yours, pulling them up and placing them on his cheeks. He tilts his head to deepen the kiss without crossing a nonexistent line that you probably aren’t ready for. It ends up being the right call when you end up breaking it, lack of oxygen in your lungs from having no experience.
“Next time, just ask instead of assuming things.” You growl, pinching the flesh on both sides of his face.
He doesn’t reply or lets you say another word, his soft and warm lips placed right back on yours where they belong. Where they should’ve been since back then. Too bad the second kiss doesn’t last longer than the first, all of sudden hearing wolf-whistles around the two of you. Everyone from the Bat family and the Titans reveal themselves on the roof, some clapping, most teasing on how long it took for you two to get together. You quickly duck your face into his chest while Dick chuckles and pulls you into a tight embrace. 
Later on, a ring adorns his and your left hand. Never once getting taken off, no matter the reason. 
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overstuffd · 4 months ago
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Taking you out to a - unbeknownst to you - feeder cinema.
'It's amazing!' I tell you. 'They have waiter service right to the seats - and I got us a great deal. We're going to watch a marathon of classic stoner movies and we get dinner and unlimited snacks. Doesn't that sound perfect?'
Without thinking your hand goes to your growing pot belly. You kept saying you need to take it easy on indulging your appetite for greasy food - but your gut rumbles in response.
After a moment's hesitation, you agree that it sounds like fun. I smile, hungrily.
They're stoner comedies, so of course I get you stoned beforehand. Plenty of bong hits before we head out, encouraging you to hit my vape on the -thankfully- short walk to the movie theatre.
When we get there, the staff are so delighted to see you. They explain that you'll be served one course of dinner between each of the four movies and there'll be a midnight feast at the end. In the meantime, help yourself to the snack table.
Snack table hardly does it justice - there's a huge buffet set up with every kind of appetiser you can think of. I encourage you to go through to the theatre and get comfy in your seat while I fix you a plate.
The seats are really two person couches, with soft looking pillows to prop ourselves up on. They're pretty well sized, but with your thicker thighs you realise we'll be pressed close together.
You get settled, and I show up with your pre-dinner snack. If you weren't so stoned you'd say it seemed like a lot. Your plate is stacked with mozzarella sticks, garlic bread and mac and cheese, all of them geneorusly portioned out for you by me.
As it is though your munchies are kicking in hard, so you accept the plate and start eating. Before the film starts one of the attendents comes by and smiles as they place a bucket sized soda cup and extra large popcorn next to our seat, on your side naturally. I already let them know your favourite candies, and they're mixed through the popcorn, the chocolate gently melting in the still warm kernels.
The film starts, and soon you're snorting with laughter like a dumbass at the cheesy jokes and slap stick. Your mouth is dry from the smoking and all the salty food, so you end up chugging your soda hard, but whenever it starts running low one of the attentive staff is there with a replacement.
The same happens with your popcorn, you're only halfway through before your carton is replaced with a fresh batch. It makes it hard to keep track of what you're eating, but between the snack plate and the endlessly refilling bag you're pretty sure you've already had what most people would consider a meal.
It's hard to concentrate on that though, because the first movie is over and it's time for appetisers to be served. You almost don't believe me when I say you haven't even had the first course yet.
Before you put up too much of a fuss though I hand you my vape - no, the staff won't mind I promise - and you relax again, especially when I offer you a pair of gummy edibles to kick in during the movie.
I took the liberty of ordering for you, and you're already faded by the time your heaping pile of nachos arrive, loaded with cheese, guacamole, sour cream, hot salsa, jalapenos and brisket. The spiciness hits your sensitised pallet hard, but there's always more soda to soothe it.
The second movie has started now, and as it plays you polish off your nachos, and most of my order of onion rings once I pass it over.
At some point, your soda cup is replaced with an extra-large cold beer, but you chug that down just as happily, your mind getting floatier with every gulp.
At the end of the second movie the main courses arrive, and you try and tap out. The greasy, double-patty burger is huge, even ignoring the massive side of fries and slaw. The attendents have bought you mug sized tubs of spicy mayo, creamy burger sauce and barbecue to help everything slip down easily, but even so.
You turn to me, your eyes big as the third film starts to roll. I pretend to be sympathetic, but my words are the last thing you want to hear. 'Oh, poor thing! Are you too out of it to eat your dinner even though you're so hungry?'
You try to put together a protest but forming a whole sentence is beyond you at this point, so you flop backwards and let me slowly feed you the burger and sides, holding the dripping handfuls to your mouth until you take a bite and then pushing salty fries in afterwards. When you slow too much I push my vape into your mouth again and the new rush of haziness gives you another burst of energy.
You don't remember anything that happens in the third film, just the growing heat between your legs as your waistband presses harder and harder into your stomach.
The final break - dessert. I get up from our seat, and even if you'd been able to speak you didn't think to ask where I was going, your mind completely preoccupied with the pressure in your belly.
When I come back though, you've realised there's a sundae bar in the lobby that I've visited on your behalf. A huge bowl of softserve, another bucket really, smothered in caramel and chocolate sauce, peanuts, cookie crumb and whipped cream.
Your stoamch audibly groans when you see it, but you're so docile you let me push more than a few spoonfuls between your lips before you start turning your face away, struggling even to move that much.
You're expecting me to grow more forecful, but instead I set the icecream aside and pay attention to your straining gut, undoing your pants (you sigh in relief, they were moments away from bursting) and rubbing slow circles on your belly. My hand dips lower as I make lazy circles and you moan appreciatively, way too far gone to care about embarassing yourself in public.
The film is drawing to a close, the lovable losers have completed their stoner quest, and you're getting close to finishing too. Once you're frantically grinding against my fingers, though, I pull away, and suddenly the icecream bucket is back at your lips.
No spoon now, the softserve has melted into a thick and creamy shake mined with sweetness. I part your lips and tilt the bucket so it pours into your mouth. Youf flabby mind can think of only one defence against choking on it so you swallow, slowly, painfully, your overstretched stomach straining at the additional pressure.
The credits of the movie are rolling and you're almost finished with your shake - and my hand is back between your legs, rougher than before.
I've been training you to come when your stomach is straining, so I up the speed as you take your last mouthful and you finish over my fingers.
I ruffle your hair and wipe a little icecream off your cheek as I coo at what a good job you did for me.
The staff are in no rush for us to leave, which is good because you can't stand right now.
Instead they leave the lights low as I gently rub your eager belly, enjoying the deep rumbles as you start digesting your enormous meal.
When you've recovered a little I'll walk you to the car - and maybe if you're good we can get drive through on the way home.
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foodffs · 7 months ago
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This mouthwatering good Classic Patty Melt combines beef patties grilled to perfection with plenty of sweet melt-in-your-mouth caramelized onions, homemade thousand island dressing, and plenty of melted Swiss cheese. The flavor is even better than the old diners and dives that your parents took you to. 
https://www.smalltownwoman.com/classic-patty-melt/
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Imagine asking Sanji to sample your latest creation…
You walked into the kitchen naturally assuming it was a normal day at the Baratie. “Sanji, Table 3 have requested your highly favoured… uh, what’s going on?”
The blonde-chef walked by you, tight-lipped and fuming. His silence drew your attention to Zeff standing off to the side, watching the boy with a frown.
“Sanji’s no longer on kitchen duty.” He informed.
“Seriously? This happened last month as well and-” you accidentally put yourself in the firing line and Zeff wasn't impressed.
“Do you want to be next? There’s plenty of cooks in here.”
Dropping the argument, you shook your head and adjusted the tone. “No, chef.”
Zeff also calmed his own harshness and continued a bit more softly. “Now get a move on. We have mouths to feed.”
And that’s how it was for rest of the day, cooking away as if Sanji didn’t exist. You managed to catch a glimpse of him through the kitchen window but it was hardly enough to get his attention.
As service began to quiet down, Patty insisted that you take a break to recharge. Pulling off your apron and grabbing a small pastry box, you took the moment to bolt from the Baratie to find Sanji.
Stepping outside, you turned the corner to a hidden deck away from public access and found Sanji on the pier surrounded by a cloud of smoke that only grew in size when he puffed again.
“Figured you’d be out here.” You said, approaching the young man and leaning against the railing. “Still think it was a good idea to tangle with Zeff?”
Sanji clenched his jaw and shook his head.
“Zeff doesn’t know a good dish if it came alive and boiled him in a pot.” He snapped bitterly.
The comment made you smile. “Colourful as always.”
“I didn’t mean to bring you down.” He apologised and softened the tone. “What inspired you to seek me out?”
You had almost forgotten the reason you had come outside. Reaching into the bag around your wrist, you pulled out a small box that protected a slice of cake.
“I had a quick moment to experiment this evening but my favourite tester got himself booted from the kitchen.” You explained. “I asked Patty and he said it was good.”
“But you still brought it to me?” Sanji questioned.
Pulling out a fork, you scooped out the delicate sponge with icing and held it out to him. “You’re my sauce of truth.”
The chef chuckled at the awful pun and put out his cigarette. He lowered his head a little. You placed the cake into his mouth and awaited his verdict.
If Patty was lying, you’d put him in the next batch of desserts.
“How - how did you manage to get the sake to blend with the peaches and peppercorn so well? It’s like silk on my tongue.” He complimented. The cake seemed to have him genuinely befuddled.
“So you like it?” You prodded just a little to get confirmation.
“I love it.” Sanji took your wrist and urged you forward before dipping his head to press his lips against yours. His kiss tasting like light smoke and peaches, undeniably sweet. He pulled back slightly and smirked. “But I love this more.”
Masterlist here (for more One Piece)
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venus-haze · 2 years ago
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Love Is a Ring on the Telephone (Homelander x Reader)
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Summary: When work calls you away from New York, Homelander can’t bear how much he misses you.
Note: Gender neutral reader and no descriptors are used. This fic is fluffy (and shorter than what I usually write) but still a little dark, and takes place vaguely during season 2. Inspired by Bruce Springsteen’s and Patti Smith’s versions of Because the Night (I actually got inspired for a few fics based on various lines in the song). Do not interact if you are under 18 or post thinspo/ED content.
Word count: 1.6k
Warnings: Some possessive behavior and emotional manipulation (it’s Homelander). Do not interact if you’re under 18.
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Homelander stared at the calendar taped to the wall in a desperate hope that he could somehow will time to race forward, and you’d be back home. He missed you terribly, spending the past few nights in your shoebox apartment he had yet to convince you to move out of. It was too cramped and loud for his liking, between your neighbors and the street noise, but he hadn’t realized how attached he’d become to it until you were gone. 
He went as far as pulling on one of your sweatshirts to sleep in, just because it still smelled like you. It was only day two of your five day business trip to a conference in Los Angeles, but each day without you felt like a week that dragged on endlessly. He’d been on bullshit missions from Vought that went longer, ones where he couldn’t even contact you until he returned, his insides shredded to bloody mush at the lingering anxiety that maybe in his absence, you found someone else.
From the moment he stepped into the disgustingly crowded airport with you, a melancholy swept over him. He offered to fly you to your hotel in LA himself, frustrated when you decided to do things the pedestrian way. At least his presence allowed you to skip the security line that stretched all the way back to the bag check as he graciously took selfies with each TSA agent. After all, you couldn’t be a threat if you were with The Homelander of all people. 
He would’ve gone with you, if it weren’t for the ‘Dawn of the Seven’ promotions that Ashley couldn’t get him out of. She nearly threw up while breaking the bad news to him, and he could hear her heart racing even as she practically sprinted down the hallway after he dismissed her. Reluctantly, he stayed behind while you went away, gritting his teeth through every interview and guest appearance. Having been paraded around plenty of Vought conferences himself, he knew damn well plenty of people used them as an excuse to get drunk and fuck around without their significant others’ knowledge.
He huffed, turning away from the calendar and practically rolling his eyes at himself. You’d proven time and time again that he could trust you, that you were the one for him. Still, his self-assurance did nothing to abate the sourness in his stomach, and suddenly, he’d pulled out his phone, ear pressed to the screen as the dial tone rang almost mockingly. He paced the kitchen floor, glancing at the clock on the wall. A little past one in the morning on the West Coast, but you wouldn’t mind if he woke you up.
“Baby? It’s late,” you yawned, the mundane noise making Homelander’s nerves settle slightly. “Is everything okay?”
He chewed his bottom lip, feeling like a schoolgirl calling her crush for the first time, almost instinctively reaching to play with a non-existent phone cord. There was neither pride nor shame when it came to you, only the affection and devotion that he’d spent his life longing for. Your presence soothed him, but your absence made his heart wrench in his chest. 
“Missed you,” he said softly.
“I miss you too. This conference is so boring. The people are weird, and I haven’t gotten a chance to see anything in LA.”
“What’s there to see? You’ve got a hot blond at home,” he said.
Your laughter made him feel indescribably lighter, even when it became muffled by your hand covering your mouth. 
“There aren’t palm trees in New York, smarty.”
“If you wanna see palm trees, I can think of at least five places I can take you that are nicer than LA.”
“I read that some palm trees grow in the Mediterranean, like Greece and Italy.”
“We’ll have to go one day to see, huh?”
You enthusiastically agreed, and he clung to your every word as you described your dream vacations in detail. He’d bring you everywhere, wrapped tightly in his arms from the moment he took off in New York until the two of you inevitably ended up in bed somewhere beautiful and secluded, where you could truly be alone together. 
He wondered what you’d think of moving out of the city, maybe to one of the smaller beach towns out on Long Island or somewhere more secluded in the Catskills. Either way, he’d have a commute for the first time in his life, but he could deal with a quick flight to Vought Tower if it meant waking up beside and coming home to you each day. After years of clamoring for the adoration of the masses, millions of people cheering his name and going into a frenzy in his presence paled in comparison to the sincerity in your voice and steady heartbeat whenever you told him that you loved him. 
Often, he felt like no one else knew what being in love was like, otherwise they wouldn’t make him go on asinine press tours or send you away to the opposite side of the country for a conference. Something so passionate and all-consuming as what he felt for you couldn’t be ruined by distance, and though he could listen to you talk on the phone all night, it wasn’t the same as being able to see and feel you. He’d grown far too accustomed to the warmth and gentleness of your touch, the way your eyes lit up for him and nobody else. 
A loud bang and the sound of drunk chatter outside your room interrupted your voice, and though no human could have heard the commotion so clearly, he could, and his lip curled in response. You immediately apologized, ranting about the people at the conference, most of whom you found uppity and unpleasant, finding networking with them at panels and meals more of a chore than an opportunity.
He looked at your refrigerator, colorful magnets holding up your handwritten lists and reminders, but his gaze was focused on the selfie of the two of you on your second date to the Bronx Zoo just a few months prior. You’d taken the time to get the photo printed and displayed in a spot that was domestic and sentimental, somewhere you and anyone else who entered your place could easily see. His hands suddenly felt cold in your physical absence, and a lump formed in his throat as he found himself on the verge of tears.
“If it’s such a drag, you should just leave early and come home.”
“Baby, you know I can’t—“
“I’ll take care of you,” he promised softly, the ‘from now on’ was unspoken, but from the way he could hear your breath faintly hitch over the phone, he knew you understood.
“Okay,” you whispered. “Will you come get me?”
“I’ll be there before you blink.”
“I’ll keep my eyes wide open for you.”
He smiled, letting out a soft chuckle at your words. “I love you.”
“I love you more.”
“That’s impossible.”
You were quiet for a moment. “Can’t I try?”
“You don’t need to try. Just being mine is enough, darling.”
Everything in his life had gone to shit so fast, but not you, never you. He’d raze cities to ash before letting you go, before possibly losing the warmth that enveloped him at the thought of you and how much you loved him. Even if he could bottle the feeling, inject it into his veins whenever he pleased, he wouldn’t, not when he had you by his side. He wasn’t sure if anyone could compare. As much as he wished he’d met you sooner, he supposed later was better than never.
You ended the phone call, your voice soft and melodic as you once again professed your love to him. He did the same before hanging up, hastily grabbing one of your sweaters from your closet. You’d always get cold while flying with him. He brought the knitwear to his nose, the scent of your fabric softener and a hint of your perfume almost making him dizzy. Wasting no more time, he left your apartment to make it to Los Angeles before you could fall back asleep.
He knew which hotel you were staying at and the room number, having texted it to him before you left. Of course, he’d memorized the details, and within half an hour was hovering outside of your eighth floor hotel room window, which you gladly opened for him. You were in your pajamas, your small suitcase packed on the bed.
“My hero!” you exclaimed, throwing your arms around him and pressing a playful kiss to his cheek.
Your lips on his skin made it feel like he was on fire, and he took your face in his ungloved hands, kissing you desperately as your sweater fell to the floor. Two days had suddenly transformed into a lifetime of longing and separation, and as he slipped his tongue into your open mouth, he did so with the intention of savoring you, getting as close to devouring you as he could. 
Squeezing his hips to steady yourself only encouraged him further, a groan rumbling from deep in his chest. Sometimes, you made it so hard for him to have any self-control, and in those moments he almost lamented his powers. His strength made your being with him inherently dangerous, yet despite the risks, you willingly sought out his embrace and intimacy.
“Always yours,” he muttered huskily against your lips. 
You looked at the sweater on the floor, smiling at the gesture. “Thanks.”
“Can’t have you catching pneumonia on the way home, can I?” he said as you pulled the sweater on.
You grabbed your suitcase off the bed, and he took it from you with ease, holding it in one hand, his other arm firmly around your waist. He’d flown you plenty of places before, and though you were no longer nervous like the first time he took you flying, he loved how you clung to him anyway.
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