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leapingtitan · 6 years

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Thoughts on Chapter 114

I have to say that I’ve been looking forward to this chapter for almost 3 years. Zeke being my favorite character, his past is something I’ve been wanting to see all this time. And Isayama delivered just on time.

There are a few points to point out in regards to this, but this may very well be my favorite snk chapter, at least for the time being. It has basically all of the things that make me love snk as a whole. Main lore revelations, displays of how fucked up the world is and of course, Zeke Jaeger as a character and the revelation of what he has been trying to do all along.

Zeke’s past is, to say the least, screwed up. Grisha and Dina’s behavior towards him was very much what we expected it to be. It was hinted, but seeing it from Zeke’s eyes was just drenching. Those two didn’t really care about Zeke as a child and used him for their purposes in acquiring the Founding Titan. All in the process, they forgot that he is just a child and placed enormous stress on him. As Xaver stated, it didn’t even look like he wanted to become a warrior himself, at least not until much later.

Tom Xaver is the “Mysterious Man” from the character guidebook who was briefly mentioned at the end of last chapter. Although it was speculated to be the case because of his armband, getting the confirmation that he the source of both the Beast Titan’s powers that Zeke ended up acquiring later on and the glasses with Zeke seem to have personal value to Zeke for the obvious reason that is him and Xaver’s relationship.

Xaver, in any case, was an interesting character on his own. His manifestation of the Beast Titan’s powers was apparently deemed unfitting for Marley’s typical usage of their power, that is invading other countries and making use of the sheer force that is the Titan shifting ability. Although I’m curious to know how exactly Xaver’s Beast Titan was “useless” in that regard. Remember when Magath was analyzing each of the Titans in the first half of the Marley arc? It seems that the thing that Beast Titans have in common is being slightly taller than the others that are not the Colossal Titan.

Since Xaver was already a baseball player who seemingly had quite a bit of free time to practice the sport, my guess is his Beast Titan did not have the physical features that Zeke’s does. In this case, the abnormally long arms which would provide massive momentum and throwing strength.

But regardless, Tom Xaver chooses to dedicate the remainder of his life to being a Titan Researcher. This was personally an enjoyable aspect of his character to me, as the Titan Chemistry Research Society that has been mentioned since the Basement reveal hasn’t really gotten any direct exposition, so seeing a direct member of it was nice.

Anyway, Zeke isn’t doing that well as a warrior and Tom Xaver is not fit for combat, so the two naturally spend a lot of time together. It ultimately leads to Xaver being the one to suggest Zeke betraying his parents after he overhears that Marley is on their trail. In a way, this ultimately sheds light to Zeke’s further developments.

He betrayed his parents to save his own life plus that of his grandparents, and it wasn’t until later when he found the resolve as an Eldian Restorationist on his own. Thus, I truly believe in what he told Kiyomi. His parents being cruel and inconsiderate of him aside, Zeke may or may not have come to his own conclusion that they would only bring Eldia down.

It isn’t until Zeke’s later years that we find out about a certain reveal which I quite appreciated. Eldians, “Subjects of Ymir” are biological extensions of the Founding Titan’s biology itself. That’s just the way of saying that they’re all connected to the Coordinate in the middle, where the Founding Titan is. As Zeke’s Beast Titan can trasnform those marked to his own Coordinate, his Titan via spinal fluid, we can assume that, should the Founding Titan decide to do so, can mass-transform Eldians in the same fashion as the it’s connected to all of them by default. On top of that, Xaver theorizes that it possesses the ability to alter their biological structure to the point of completely eradicating an epidemic.

This theory is what brings us to the main reveal this chapter, Zeke’s plan which we have been theorizing about for a long time now. To use the Founding Titan’s powers to sterilize every Eldian and wait for the last generation to die either by natural or non-natural means. With that, even if one of the 9 Titans remains, once they reach the 13 year point, the power wouldn’t have anyone to transfer to. Thus, ending the “cursed history” just like he said he would.

Before I elaborate on that, Tom reveals to Zeke that he himself wishes he never would have been born due to the stuff that happened with his wife. Truly cruel, and you can see that until the end they remain on the same page. The father/son moment they had as well was quite touching but very tragic, just like the rest of the chapter for the most part.

We come to the current point in time where Zeke detonates the thunderspear in his abdomen in hopes to escape his confinement and get rid of Levi. Both of them have been opposing forces since the Return to Shiganshina arc but they both ended up making the same mistake over and over again: Underestimating each other. Levi didn’t think Zeke would do anything under his watch in the forest and didn’t think he would actually detonate himself either. Meanwhile, Zeke has underestimated Levi an equal number of times as well.

But regardless, he did it. I don’t believe that Zeke is dead because let’s be real here, he has quite a lot of plot armor and killing him after revealing his goal to euthanize the Eldian race would be anti-climatic and would render the entire chapter pointless. Levi, on the other hand, has to die sooner or later. I’m not saying I’m “happy” though I personally never hold personal bias and attachment with characters outside of ironic and meme reasons. If a character dies, they die. That’s it. I’ve been reading snk for almost 5 years and I’ve gotten used to it at this point.

With that said Levi could potentially come back later depending on how fast he heals but my prediction is, someone will find him and he’s going to have his last words. When the big boom happens, it seems to be raining. Atmospherically that seems an appropriate end for him, whenever someone finds him. As for Zeke, seems like Levi was lying. He did close his limbs from the explosion from what we can see though it’s nothing he can’t regenerate. His neck seems in tact and it looks like he’s gotten used to physical pain at this point. Honestly, it’s tragic.

Lastly we come to what I believe is the most important lead we have this chapter. Folks,

Zeke and Eren are not on the same side.

Although we can question Eren’s mental state and motives for the past 20 chapters, let’s just keep in kind that this is Eren who has ALWAYS fought for freedom. The one who possesses the Attack Titan, at that. Now, do you really believe that his idea of “Freedom” is for his own race to go extinct?

Personally, I think he may have tricked Zeke, but at the end, I believe the two to have entirely different motives and are not going to be the dynamic duo of this final arc.

The biggest reason why I think that is an interview that Isayama held a few years ago when he was asked about Zeke. This is not a direct quote, but Isayama says something along the lines of

“When coming up with Zeke’s character, I wanted to follow a main common trope that the main character, in this case Eren, needs an opposite. In this case, Zeke is the type of brotherly existence to Eren but is ultimately the kind of character the protagonist strives not to become.”

In other words, Eren and Zeke both wish for Eldia’s salvation. However, they have different ideas. Zeke wishes for the extinction of the Eldian race, while Eren likely wishes for Eldia to overcome its oppression even if it means absolute genocide against the rest of the world.

This is why I believe that the “Final Battle” will involve the infiltrating Marleyan warriors, the fleet fighting off against the remainder of the Survey Corps, while Eren deals with Zeke.

Logically speaking, Zeke has no reason to activate the rumbling, but what needs to be elaborated on is that Eren is the one who decides what the outcome of the usage of the Founding Titan’s powers are, not Zeke. I definitely believe the two will duke it out, but before that we are going to get the next thing I’ve been waiting for which is their long-awaited reunion. And no, the airship doesn’t count.

Overall, like I said this may very well be my favorite snk chapter for now. Don’t have much else to say except it’s very solid and I look forward to seeing the rest, as usual.

#snk 114 #snk spoilers #zeke jaeger #tom xaver #levi ackerman #eren jaeger #snk meta

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violetiris-ak · 6 years

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I got tagged by @weirdnproudofit. Guess you all get to learn a little bit more about me than my obsession with Dragon Age, Reylo, Realm of the Elderlings and writing.

Rules: Tag 9 people you want to get to know better and answer the questions. I’ll probably won’t tag as many though cause I don’t wanna spam half my followers.

Relationship status: Single.

Favorite Color: Purple usually, though I can be swayed by pretty shade of just about anything.

Top 3 ships: Oh, now this is going to be hard. Like, super, super hard. So I’m gonna cheat again.

I guess I’ll start with one of the easiest: Ereri/Riren, Eren/Levi from Attack on Titan. I know canonically it’ll never be thing and I’m totally fine with that. Romance of any kind isn’t really much of a thing in the anime and manga, besides the sort of hinted at relationship between Ymir and Christa which I also ship, but the fanfic, fan art, and just fandom related content around this ship has just been incredible. I came to it during the early days of the anime’s airing in 2013 and never left. I am so blown away and moved by it to this day. So much laughter and smiles and delicious angst and swoon worthy content. Seriously, some of the fanfics for this pairing were so addictive and impressive and also just warm and comforting. And from some of them, I even learned about myself like in the way the best of books do. I’m not as immersed in the community as I used to, but I still follow it and was only reading a fanfic for this pairing a month ago and it was like coming home.

Pre Eren/Levi the last big ship of mine was Dramione aka Draco/Hermione from Harry Potter. I never expected them to get together canonically. I actually came to the series after it was finished, and it wasn’t until after I was finished when I browsing the internet that I came across my first Dramione fic. Intrigued I gave it a go and was hooked. It was like an innocent, PG rated one where Draco and Hermione have a spell go wrong and must stick close together until the spell wears off, and in the meantime, learn to first tolerate each other and then eventually like each other. I was done for and consume such an incredible amount of fanfic it was unreal.

One of the things that actually made 2016 bearable was my discovering the Dragon Age series and then mass playing them 2x through (still slowly working on my third). By the end of my first playthrough, I just wasn’t ready to leave the world. I couldn’t let go. So I Googled the top fanfics for it and read Zute’s “A Californian in King Cailan’s Court” and sequel “Post Blight Management for Dummies,” which is hysterical by the way. And I binge read so much DA fanfic after that. Seriously, some of my fellow DA fanfic writers are amazing. And as I was looking through one fic where Zevran tries to broker a truce between Fenris and Anders, I became curious about Fenders. And so I looked to see what was out there and got hooked. Now this is another ship that isn’t canon, but these fics showed something I longed for in the game: for these two to realize that despite all their arguments and differences that they both long for the same thing: freedom and justice for those like them that are oppressed. Both have had their freedom denied, both traumatized by their past, Anders by the Chantry and the Templars and the Circle and Fenris by the slavers and magisters of Tevinter. What so many of the fics handled so gracefully was having these two broken people find healing and understanding through one another to a beautiful effect. I recommend giving @nikki-66 fics a go for great examples of this.

And I said I was gonna cheat, right? Okay, so here are two other ships I’m fully sailing on that I didn’t put in my top three. The first being Reylo because anyone who follows my blog will have probably noticed that I totally ship this. I shipped it from The Force Awakens and was ecstatic when The Last Jedi came out. I went on such a fanfic reading binge for this in late 2017/early to mid 2018. It was the only thing that toned down DA fanfic reading to reasonable levels. All I can is if Ben Solo dies in the next movie and/or if Reylo doesn’t happen in some way I’m going to be so pissed lol

Finally, to one of the most complicated and moving and hard to define relationships I’ve ever read in fantasy fiction: Fitz and the Fool from Robin Hobb’s the Realm of the Elderlings. Fitz is the bastard of the crown prince of the Six Duchies turned assassin for the king and the Fool is the court jester and also someone he refers to as the White Prophet. Their relationship in the books spans a lifetime, and it grows and evolves. Are they friends? Or are they more? But they’re not lovers, not in the way most of us would think of them but also something more. All I knew was that in some way the two of them needed to end up together in some way, and I just couldn’t bear the thought that they wouldn’t be. I put off reading the last trilogy for months because of it. And when I did... I won’t say because you really need to read these books. All sixteen of them and in order. Please.

lipstick or chapstick: I always have a chapstick in my pocket. Always. I can’t stand having dry lips. And while I do love lipstick for all the pretty colors and also the way it brightens my face, I hate when a lipstick can just settle on your lips and look super bad. But in recent years there’s been more lip butters and other hydrating formulas that I can regularly use, so that’s nice.

Last song: Don’t Stop Me Now by Queen. I’ve been on a Queen kick after watching Bohemian Rhapsody.

Last movie: I was hanging out with my mom post her knee surgery and got her to finally watch Mulan. Before that it was Outlaw King on Netflix (with a friend) and then Bohemian Rhapsody (with a sister). I don’t watch a whole lot of movies. And if we’re talking TV shows then Outlander (with a friend). I’m more likely to be found reading, writing or gaming than I am to be watching something.

currently reading: Ummmmm where do I begin? Ha. Like I just read a Reylo oneshot this morning. The other day I just finished Kingdom of Ash by Sarah J. Maas (which was so good!) and because I was in such a Maas kick I decided to make my 100th book read of the year her Catwoman Soulstealer one (good so far!). Also, I just started reading the novella Neutral by Jane Washington and Jaymin Eve which is part of the Curse of the Gods series (the protagonist Willa is the funniest main character I’ve read in years; the most recent one being the Warden in Zute’s Dragon Age fanfic).

And yes, I did say 100 books. I am counting novel lengths fanfics, books of poetry and plays along with any novels and books of nonfiction. In 2017, I wanted to see how much I was actually reading and challenged myself to get to at 50 (I ended up somewhere in the 80s) and write them all down in a notebook. I gave myself the 50 challenge again this year at the bare minimum with the ultimate goal of 100 books read. So unless I lose all access to the written word for the rest of the year, I’ll be meeting my goal in the next day or so, which is super exciting.

So here I’m going to tag four of my followers! If you’ve already done this or find the whole thing annoying feel free to ignore it. @orkindofamazing @amervalk @latebuthere @nekoamamori

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thetygre · 6 years

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30 Day Monster Challenge 2 - Day #14: Favorite Invisible Monster

Some of the monsters on this list are so good at being invisible that I couldn’t even find a good picture of them.

1. Killer Brain (Fiend Without A Face)

The charm of any invisible monster is proportionate to how bizarre it is when it is inevitably revealed, and there are few monster that can compete with the killer brains from Fiend Without a Face. Even their explanation is unique; killer telekinetic thoughts that possess human brains and feed off nuclear radiation. These things are simultaneously adorable and grotesque; they’re slimy and have the eye tendrils of a slug, and even the way they move is creepy. They use their spinal cord tails to move around and strangle people, making more of their kind. These guys made it into Pathfinder where, frankly, I wish they had replaced Intellect Devourers in terms of being the game’s designated brain monsters (since the Mind Flayer is copyrighted). The killer brains just nail that perfect kind of creeping horror where I don’t want to touch one but I also kind of want to keep it in a tank as a pet. They do not disappoint once you finally get a look at them.

2. Monsters from the Id (Forbidden Planet)

The artist Francisco de Goya once stated, “The sleep of reason produces monsters.” The Monster from the Id from Forbidden Planet is the living embodiment of that phrase. On the alien planet of Altair IV, advanced aliens used incredible technology to make their very thoughts manifest into beings. But in a single night, the entire race was driven to extinction when their own subconscious thoughts manifested and killed them. Years later, a scientist by the name Dr. Morbius finds the aliens’ technology and uses it for his own, and the cycle begins to repeat itself. The monster is only briefly seen, and even then it’s only by the light of laser-blasts and electricity in what is frankly a perfect embodiment of raygun gothic.

Design wise, the monster isn’t particularly innovative, but I really think that’s to its credit. The id is the primal, brutish part of our minds; it would make sense for a monster based on the id’s subconscious desires to be a bulky, angry brute. And of course there’s also the classical element to the Monster as well; Forbidden Planet can be interpreted as a retelling of Shakespeare’s The Tempest, with Morbius as Prospero. If Robby the Robot, as a product of high intellectual science, is the spirit Ariel, then the Monster is Caliban. Caliban of course represented the elements of water and earth in Prospero’s miniature cosmos, and just as Caliban represented the primitive state of the world, the Monster from the Id is representative of the primitive state of the mind. Both monsters play to humanity’s earlier states. The Monster from the Id is, put frankly, a spectacular monster. Its invisibility reminds us that no matter how much we try to suppress our darker feelings and desires, there is always a monstrous part of us just underneath the surface.

3. Ghost Wolf (Fables)

Realistically speaking, all air elementals should be invisible, but so far Ghost from Fables is the only one to step up to bat. Ghost is of course the lost seventh son(?) of Bigby and Snow. He’s essentially an air elemental by virtue of Bigby’s father being the North Wind; it’s complicated. At first nobody even knows Ghost is around until he starts asphyxiating people to death. As an air elemental, air is his food, and the air in the inner city is polluted while the air in certain peoples’ lungs is nice and clean, which I think is a neat urban fantasy detail. After his mom sends him off so he doesn’t get killed, he joins up with his dad for some guerilla terrorism. It’s fine, trust me. I like Ghost first and foremost because we just don’t get a lot of air elemental characters, and when we do they tend to stick to the stock elemental character archetypes. But Ghost is an innocent kid, just a child trying to navigate around the mother of all handicaps. He doesn’t mean to be a monster, he’s just trying to survive. All Ghost wants his to be with his family; like all invisible monsters, Ghost’s is confronted with an issue of presence and acknowledgment. Ghost can’t be seen, but he can be felt, and his character makes us question how much that is worth is terms of bonding.

4. Griffin (The Invisible Man)

There have been a lot of invisible men through the years, but Griffin is still my favorite for his blend of insanity and sadism with a bit of underlying tragedy. Griffin achieved invisibility by use of a special chemical that also drives him insane with its prolonged usage. With that said, it’s hard to know whether Griffin is cruel because of the drug, or if that was always some part of him; both prospects ultimately play in Griffin’s invisibility.

First, while Griffin’s insanity is attributed to the chemicals he uses, it really derives more from his lack of recognition from other people. As an invisible being, people don’t attribute to Griffin all the dozens of minor cues a person receives every day that reassures them that they exist; glancing at them, saying hello, moving out of the way, etc. An invisible man would have to cope with the fact that outside of their own ability to sense the world around them, they don’t really exist. They are a total non-person, dehumanized in the most profound way possible.

This leads to the second point; a person treated inhumanly will begin to act inhuman. A lack of recognition is also a lack of responsibility, a state where you don’t have to be held accountable for your actions. That kind of freedom gives a person the chance to show who they really are. That is the tragedy of the invisible man; Griffin already felt inadequate before he was invisible, and was a complete non-entity with his power, so he used that power to hurt people and lash out, further alienating himself from humanity.

5. Prisoners (Silent Hill 2)

There’s a prison cell in Silent Hill 2. It’s not unusual to go to prison in Silent Hill; at this point it’s practically standard. And it’s also not unusual for the cells in that prison to have horrible monsters waiting inside. What is unusual is when you can’t actually see the monsters, and they don’t really do anything. They’re just… there. Existing. If you listen closely they seem to be chanting the word ‘ritual’, or maybe ‘are you sure’ backwards; it’s unclear. Like most monsters in Silent Hill, especially 2, all sorts of meanings and symbolism can be attributed to the prisoners. But more than anything, they’re there just to be creepy and add ambiance, and they’re disturbingly effective at it.

6. The Dunwich Horror (H.P. Lovecraft)

We don’t get enough abominable half monsters anymore. Not enough deformed masses of flesh that were simply never meant to be. The Dunwich Horror is where you can really see Lovecraft drawing from The Great God Pan in terms of influence. Growing up in rural country, I was always fascinated by the concept of the family monster in the cellar or the barn. The Dunwich Horror is too great, too terrible to be in our world. Its invisibility stems from the fact that it simply isn’t meant for our meager reality. Like Lovecraft says, it has more of its father than its mother in it. The Dunwich Horror reminds me of a storm or some other kind of natural disaster, the kind of thing the ancients would say a god was behind. But it also brings to mind the original definition of monster; ‘monstrum’ were omens in the form of deformities in childbirth, given by the gods. The unnamed Whateley brother is just such an omen; a portent of forces beyond mankind.

7. The Blair Witch (The Blair Witch Project)

Frankly, the Blair Witch could have gone on the witch list, and probably would have if I was doing a solely pop culture list. But I don’t think that should discredit the Blair Witch as an invisible monster, and there are angles to her absence that would be lost if she suddenly just showed up at the end of a movie. Most obviously, of course, is that the witch is supposed to be an ambiguous entity. Her existence could be entirely fictitious, and she might be nothing more than insanity. The Witch being invisible makes her manifest as a kind of madness, an insanity that appears solely through environmental cues. I would suggest that the Witch is invisible because she is a historic figure; specifically, she is a historic evil. She is something terrible that happened in the past, and even if that evil isn’t seen anymore, it’s still there, a part of the landscape. It’s a very basic horror reading, but I still think it applies to the Blair Witch as a monster.

8. Stealth Sneak (Kingdom Hearts)

I have a lot of good memories of beating up this guy in the Olympus Colosseum. I mean it’s utterly pointless for it to be invisible; the monster’s so huge you can even jump on top of it. But I just love this chameleon monster design! Chameleons don’t get enough play as monsters; they’re always getting upstaged by komodo dragons and iguanas. And obviously the superior color palette is green. I know that shouldn’t matter for a monster that can change color at will, but a line has to be drawn somewhere.

9. Death Sword (The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess)

This guy almost looks like he belongs on the evil weapons list until you actually get to see him. Then when you finally get a look at him, he’s one of the coolest designs in the game! Just look at this horrible thing. What was he? Why is he locked up in this musty old desert tomb? And what did he do that he had to be bound with all these amulets? There’s a lot of mysteries for this mini-boss, and we’re probably better off not knowing. Just appreciate his design and respect the cleaver.

10. Intangir (Final Fantasy VI)

This is just sheer nostalgia. When I was a kid, my cousin let me play her copy of Final Fantasy VI briefly, and I kept running into an invisible monster. Whenever I would attack it enough, it would appear and reveal this giant cat-dragon thing. For years, it became my default to assume that any invisible monster was a buff cat-dragon-man. Blair Witch? Cat-man. Cattle mutilators? Cat-man. Forbidden planet monster? Cat-man. This is Schrodinger’s Cat-Man, where every invisible monster is potentially a cat-man until proven otherwise. Years later, I can see now that this thing is a Behemoth palette-swap, but I like to think of it is a lesser subspecies.

#30 Day Monster Challenge #30 Day Monster Challenge 2 #the invisible man #silent hill #kingdom hearts #final fantasy #h.p. lovecraft #the legend of zelda #long post

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ourwingsofwarriors · 7 years

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Home (Reader x Erwin Smith)

Attack on titan one shot / short story

Characters: Erwin Smith, Reader, Nile Dok, Levi Ackerman Pairing: Reader x Erwin Smith Rating: M for MMMM (sex, swearing etc) I actually rewrote this, I wasn’t happy with it, now its longer too…

You had alway wanted to be in the survey corps ever since you were a younger girl, you had gone to see them off from expeditions and cheered them on. You had seen your parents argue with your older brother, telling him not to go, to settle down in the Military Police, stay alive and have children, grow old and never have to face the world outside the walls, which to them meant certain death. You on the other hand were determined to join ever since you were small. You watched your older brother go through training, work hard and become part of the Military Police. You were slightly disappointed, but only a few months later, he brought home a beautiful young woman, declaring his love and announcing their engagement. You were shocked. But happy for him, finally you understood why he didn’t go into the Survey Corps.

On the other hand, you knew your brother, watched his best friend go into the Corps. The two of them were inseparable for most of their lives, but when you watched your mother ask about him over dinner… all he could do was sigh, and announce he had sentenced himself to death. You were 16 at the time, your heart broke, you thought that your brothers best friend was going to die.

That being said… your brother was Nile…

His best friend was Erwin Smith.

A few years past, you had started training yourself for what was to come, deciding to join the Corps, behind your families back. You had seen Erwin, at Niles wedding, he had looked to you at one point and smiled, remembering seeing you many times before when you would come drag Nile home from the pub. You admired Erwin, you thought he was strong and wise. When he joined the Survey Corps you admired him even more. You had dreamt of working along side him in the Corps for too long. You knew it was time.

One night at dinner you sat with your parents, with your brother, wife and his two children. “I’m going to sign up… I want to go to the Survey Corps” You blurted out, everyone stared at you. Nile put down his glass and crossed his arms, leaning back. “[Y\N] don’t be stupid” he sighed “You can go to the Military Police and that’s it I won’t let you go and get yourself killed”

“Who said I was going to die?” You muttered “I won’t die” “[Y\N] you shouldn’t go” Marie said, she was calmer than your brother and she gave you a smile. “It will worry your brother too much, and me. Maybe you should come work with me”

“But… I have dreamt of joining the Survey Corps ever since I was small! I have to go, I can’t sit back and watch while other men and women are fighting for our freedom” you whined. Marie looked to her brother and muttered something, holding his hand tightly. Your parent sat there shocked, your mother tearing up, she was worried for you, your dad on the other hand was proud he had such a strong daughter. “You can’t join” Nile whined “No, [Y\N] I won’t allow it” He looked to Marie again “I can’t loose you too”

“What do you even mean!” You snapped “who have you lost!” “My best friend!” “Erwin Smith isn’t dead…” you groaned out, rolling your eyes. “Let’s stop talking about this now” Marie smiled. “It will all be okay” This was the last time you would speak about it with anyone, as the very next day you went off… you had already signed up and tomorrow you started training.

You didn’t lie to yourself, it was tough, you wanted to cry, but this was going to make you stronger. You were going to succeed. You were going to the Survey Corps. You were among others who wished to be stronger, however for the most part, they were all heading to the police, or the garrison. Hardly anyone you had met was dreaming of going to the Survey Corps. But that didn’t bother you. You were proud of yourself.

You had excellent results, hardly ever being under the top 3 recruits. You caught the eye of a lot of the others, you were known to be a fighter. Yet no one knew your surname was Dok. No one would’ve guessed your brother was in the Military Police, apart from Shadis, who used it against you, to toughen you up more.

You were in the top in the recruits, at the graduation, you stood proudly in front of your superiors. Your brother was there, watching you, hoping you would make the ‘right’ decision and join the Military Police alongside him so you would hardly see danger. You would be behind the walls, safe and sound. That wasn’t for you.

You looked at the other 9 standing to your right, they all would sign up for the Military Police, how many men and women did they need to work for them? Wasn’t there enough?

You were going to the Survey Corps. If Nile liked it or not.

And you went.

You were at the Survey Corps headquarters the very next day. You had been part of the 102nd training corps. And you were ready to fight.

You found yourself settling in with the other members of the Corps. Hanji, Petra, Mike… all of them took you in, being the youngest member of the Corps now. They saw you as their little sister almost. You felt welcomed here, they knew who your brother was, but they respected you for being strong, for joining. This was your family now…

However it wasn’t long before Nile would turn up, to get you out of there… He came through the mess hall, looking around for you. You sat there, waiting for him to spot you, he stormed over, he looked angry as all hell. You looked straight in his eyes as he finally reached you.

“[Y/N] you are coming with me right now!” he shouted, everyone looked around at you, you felt your cheeks go red. You were embarrassed, you felt ashamed. “NOW!” You felt your hand being pulled up by your brother and he dragged you along with him, he was heading straight for Erwin’s office.

He barged through the door, Erwin looked up from his paper work and he looked shocked, you stood behind your brother, your head dropped, hair covering your face, you were angry, but you couldn’t express it, not in front of Erwin Smith. “Erwin!” “Nile, I wasn’t expecting you” he sat there, calm. “What’s the problem?” “I can’t allow you to have [Y/N] here any longer, transfer her now” Nile demanded. “Erwin!” “I can’t transfer her, not without her permission” Erwin responded “[Y/N] is that what you want?”

Of course you shook your head, tears forming at your eyes

“I can’t do anything then” Erwin sighed “I’m sorry Nile”

“Erwin. You are my friend, we trained together. Surely you know I can’t let you take my sister outside of these walls for her to be titan food!” His voice was getting louder, angrier. You had never seen Nile like this before. “I won’t allow it!”

“Will you excuse us for a moment [Y/N]? I need to speak with your brother alone” Erwin looked to you and you nodded, turning away and fleeing the scene.

“What happened?” Hanji was standing there, she had obviously come up to see Erwin. Holding a bunch of papers. “[Y/N]?” “I…. I…” You couldn’t speak. Your mouth was quivering under all the pressure “my brother is here…” “Nile? Why?” “He.. he’s trying to get me transferred…” Hanji looked shocked, she sighed, pushing her glasses back into position. “I don’t want to…” “He is being a brother eh!” Hanji laughed slightly “Don’t worry, without your permission he can’t do anything.. You can stay here with us, I will take you under my wing” “Tch..” You heard a voice from the shadows “don’t let him decide your fate for you. Nile is a stubborn cruel bastard” it was Mike, standing waiting around too.

You could hear Nile shouting at Erwin, who was clearly keeping his cool about the whole situation, however you knew that, Nile couldn’t change your fate.

In those moments, Hanji patted you on the shoulder, knowing her ramblings would not be heard by Erwin tonight, followed by Mikr, they left. Leaving you outside Erwin’s office alone. It must of been an hour before the door opened again “[Y/N] get in here” Nile said. You walked in, your head again bowed in shame. You stood in front of Erwin, next to your brother “We have come to an agreement” “You can be part of the Survey corps however, you can not leave on missions”

You looked up, that was the whole point of being part of the Corps, so that you could go on missions outside of the wall… “But…” you tried to start to explain your side, but Nile stopped you, “I’m doing this for you” He snapped “I won’t see you get eaten!” “You wouldn’t see me be eaten… you’re too busy behind the walls” You muttered, but they heard you. Erwin looked at you, his eyes wanting to show signs of amusement, but he controlled himself. Nile looked shocked. “What!” “You heard me…” You looked up at him, your hair flowing back, revealing your face “You wouldn’t see it happen… because you are too busy behind the goddamn walls!” Erwin stood there shocked, he hadn’t seen you since the wedding, and he noticed how much you had grown, you had become a woman since he last saw you, you were a beauty. He admired you for your courage, but you were doing this out of rage… in your mind you were terrified of what Nile would do next. “You will not leave the headquarters. That is final. Erwin if I hear of her leaving these walls… I swear..” “You have my word” Erwin said. Nile stared at you. You looked up at him “Don’t you dare go against me again [Y/N]” He turned around and left. You stood there for a moment and looked at Erwin, thinking that this would be the last time in a long time that he would come near you.

You turned on your heels and started to power walk towards the door

“[Y/N]….” Erwin said but you didn’t respond, you were too ashamed of yourself.

For the next 8 months you watched the squad come and go, some of them never returning, but you were there, to support them, you sat with them, round the fire talking about dreams and hopes. You knew one day you would join them on a mission, but for now, Mike was giving you masses of work and cleaning. You didn’t mind it, Mike was a leader among the squad, and he did enjoy your company for the most part, mainly because you were a strong character, he also wanted you to go on missions, he wanted to see your skill out on the field.

But you still got to train with everyone. That bit didn’t change. Throughout all of that, you were a brilliant recruit, the others always asked why you never were involved with expeditions…

You were done after the first 8 months. You were sick of this, you were done with the chores, watching people leave and never come back. Erwin hadn’t approached you and you knew why, it was because of your brother, your cruel brother who for some reason thought you were under him in every way and that he could control you… that wasn’t the case. Instead you waited till the last minute to go to Erwin, you stormed towards his office, wearing your full uniform, showing you were ready.

You knocked on his door. “Come in” you heard his voice, it was calm… soothing. You opened the door and quickly closed it. He looked up, his eyebrow raised a little, he wasn’t expecting you to turn up at his office. “What’s the problem?” He asked. He put down the paperwork he was looking at, giving all of his attention to you. “I want to go on the expeditions…” you said, your voice stern and calm. “Please, I can’t just watch you all going into battle and I am here, like a child waiting for you all to return!” You sighed “It kills me, that you all go out, I can’t even try to protect or help anyone back here” “[Y/N]…” Erwin sighed “Nile asked me to..” “I am not Niles toy! I am not him!” You suddenly blurted, Erwin looked shocked, he stood up and moved around to the front of his desk, leaning against it. “I may be his sister but it is not up to him where I go or what I do” “I understand that, but me and your brother are good friends… I have to respect his wishes” “He left you to join the corps alone, what has he ever done for you?”

Erwin looked at you, your words hit him, you were right, what had Nile done for him? Nothing… He had trained with him, drank with him, left him for Marie and the Military police. He hadn’t done anything for him. “I guess you are right” he said “I’m sorry [Y/N] I didn’t want to ever insult you through what your brother has said” You nodded slightly “But you know [Y/N] that you are so young, compared to us old men you are a baby”

“But I can’t just sit here…” You whined a little. “I understand, you can come out for one… if you do well, then maybe I will think about making you a permanent member”

“thank you … squad leader” you saluted and left, feeling proud of yourself. You could of skipped down the corridors with happiness. You finally made it onto the squad.

But Erwin felt awful about it. Mainly because he just realised he had opened the bird cages door.

You would soon be one of the highest ranking in the corps, in the space of a year, you had 50 kills under your belt, you had helped Hanji with her research, you had worked with mike and his own personal squad. You were one of the top squad members. And Nile didn’t have a clue what was happening. He thought you were still staying behind, cleaning out the horse stables and sorting through paperwork.

After the last expedition, you sat round the fireside, everyone had left, leaving you alone to think about the past year, how much you had achieved, what you had done. Finally seeing the titans and outside the walls. You felt free at last, and you were fighting towards something bigger. You looked up to the stars and stretched. You were happy here, even though death was so close to you every time you rode out through those gates, here you felt at home, you had fulfilled your dream of becoming a member of the Survey Corps.

“You know, sometimes I wonder where you found your courage” You heard a voice, it was him, it was Erwin Smith. “[Y/N] You are… one powerful soldier” “Thanks… I guess” I looked down at the flames dancing their final hour of life “I just wanted to help”

“Help? You are brilliant out there, you have saved so many of our comrades lives just by killing one or two titans” he smiled. You looked at him, acknowledging his compliment. “May I ask, why did you join the Survey Corps… surely none of your family wanted you to” “No.. they didn’t” You laughed slightly, thinking of your brothers face when you told him “Nile hated it, well you knew that anyway squad leader” He nodded, a slight smile reaching his lips. “I wanted to fight, for humanity, for the innocent people in this city, behind our walls..” “I see..” “I wanted to fight for a future, that is my dream… I don’t ask for much” He looked at you, his eyes shining from the fire light “You know, I watched the survey corps, ever since I was a little girl, I admired their bravery, their wing of freedom… everything about them.. I knew I had to join them when I was old enough. Even if it kills me, I want to live for myself now.” You sighed, looking into the fire “Yes, this will probably kill me one day, one day I will find myself in the hands of a titan and I will be done, but until then I will fight, for those children who need a chance in this world” Erwin smiled, he saw a lot of himself in you, the same ideas, the same dreams. Everything

“You know” he said “I said the same thing, when I joined” he smiled “I am sure Nile would be proud of you, if he knew” “For now, it’s best he doesn’t. He wanted me to live a life like him, in the Military Police, get married and live my life till I am old” “Would you?” “No… not until I felt like this world was free..” “Hmm” “He found Marie, he found something he wanted to fight for..” “Marie..” Erwin looked into the flames “Sorry…” you said, remembering that Erwin was too, in love with your sister-in-law. “I didn’t mean to..” “You know, I chose titans over her, I was a fool but I had that dream too, I wanted to fight, I wanted to know more about the titans and where they came from, if what my father said was right, plus… now I think back. I made the right choice” he said sighing “Imagine if I had died, I would’ve left her with nothing, I couldn’t put anyone through that pain, I don’t know when I will die, none of us do, but that’s why… I couldn’t” “But sometimes” You looked to the stars “If you have someone in your heart, in your mind, you will fight harder for that someone, because you know they will be waiting for you to come home… it gives us hope, that one day we could live a peaceful free life with that person” You tilted your head a little, looking to him. “A dream…” “I guess so… I haven’t had a feeling like that in a long time, not since Marie… but lately I have found myself, wanting to fight harder” “Hm?” You looked to him “I have someone I need to protect, someone I can return home to, who is by my side, through battle” He looked at you “Erwin…” “[Y/N]…” he cupped your face, scooting closer to you. He pressed his lips ever so gently against yours. His hands holding your face so gently as if you were a piece of diamond. He had been wanting to kiss you, hold you ever since you had stood up for yourself, your courage, beauty and strength was beautiful to you, and he loved it.

He stood up and offered you his hand, taking it you were pulled up from the log you had been sitting on with him. “Come with me” he whispered in your ear, you nodded, without even questioning where he wanted to take you. You were in love with Erwin Smith, you always had been. Sometimes you believed you were only here to protect him from danger. He led you to his room, sneaking through the barrack corridors, not to wake Mike, Hanji and Eld whose rooms were on the same corridor. He closed the door behind you both, pressing you up against it, his hands engulfing you, bringing you in close, kissing you.

At that moment your heart went into overdrive. You felt it burning in your chest and you were excited. He pulled you in kissing you, his tongue invading your mouth, dominating the kissing pace. He wanted you, it could of been for a long time too, he seemed desperate for you at this moment. His hands couldn’t find a place to stay as they frantically searched for a home. You pulled off your jacket, followed by his… clothes hit the floor. You admired Erwin, he was beautiful. His scars, his face, his body. Everything about him was what you imagined. He pulled you close to him and just embraced you as the two of you fell to the bed. You were on top of him, he tucked your hair behind your ears, pulling you in for a kiss. For the first time in a long time you felt like the world was finally home, as you laid there, on top of Erwin Smith the squad leader of the Survey Corps. You felt a sense of belonging. You had found a home here in the squad, you were helping the cause for humanity… and now in the arms of a man you had admired for years. You traced down his abs, to his throbbing member, you took it in your hand, licking the tip, he laid there, watching you, his eyes not losing contact with you. You took his whole member in your mouth, hitting the back of your throat. But you didn’t care, you wanted to satisfy him, you wanted to make him happy. Make him feel like he belonged somewhere too… Because you were both lost souls. And you had found each other in this hopeless world. He moaned a little, bringing your mind back into the room, you were bobbing on his large member and he was losing control slightly as you held onto his thighs, he wanted to thrust more into your mouth, he wanted to dominate everything about you tonight. He needed a release, he needed to rid himself of this sexual tension, because he wasn’t going to admit it, he wanted to fuck you for a long time. In fact it was one of the reasons he kept you behind on the expeditions. You pulled up from his member and looked at his shining eyes. He was looking at you in such a loving way in which you had never seen before. After all of the expeditions, the one person who worried you was always Erwin, always… You dreaded losing him. You hated that. It was a nightmare… not without telling him how much you loved him. He turned the positions round, you were laying on your back with Erwin between your legs, his tongue flicked at your clit and it sent a shockwave through your body. Your body was sensitive, every touch made you react, and he was playing with that, tracing the lines of your abs, where it was a little ticklish. As his other hand was pressing down at your clit now, sending the nerves into shock. His fingers then rubbed between your folds to the entrance of your core, you felt his fingers getting closer and closer and your breathing got heavier. He was teasing you, keeping you submissive to him, making him dominant in this scenario.

“S… squad leader please” you begged, before you felt two of his fingers slide into your wetness. He started to finger fuck you gently, before he started to pound his fingers in and out of you. You started to moan more and more, begging for a release from this. But he wasn’t going to let you have it too easily. He grabbed one of your breasts and pawed at it, while his other hand was busy fucking you, you looked down to see his throbbing member. Licking your lips at the idea of what was soon to come. He pulled out his fingers and kneeled in between your legs, he dragged you closer, using your waist, until your legs were wrapped around him and his member was pressed up against you. He rubbed his tip between your folds, teasing you. You let out a moan of need for him to fill you. But he wasn’t letting you… he wanted you to beg. You looked up at him, your eyes shining in the candlelight, he continued to rub his tip between your folds, now and then letting the tip inside of you, before pulling it back out. “Squa…squad leader please I can’t….” you whined “Please…..fuc…” before you could finish whining and begging for him, his member slammed into you at such a force you felt like you were going to be torn apart. He held onto your hips and thrusted rapidly into you, making your whole body jiggle with the motions. You let out a loud moan which brought music to his ears. He flipped you over onto your stomach “Get on your hands and knees soldier” he commanded and you did as he asked. You could see why he was so dominant now at work, he was the same in the bedroom but you loved it. You loved how he wanted to be forceful because that was the man you loved… admired and fought for.

He slapped your butt, before pushing himself in again, starting to fuck you from behind, one hand on your waist, the other went round to your clit, rubbing against it frantically, making it numb to the touch, making your stance weak as it made your body tingle so much you could of collapsed in the spot, you were coming close to your climax, but it seemed Erwin wasn’t ready for that just yet. He slapped your butt, pulled your hair and pawed at your breasts, all while fucking you at a powerful and fast pace. You felt skin against skin and the only noises that could be heard was the sound of skin hitting skin and the loud breathing and moaning from the two of you. Erwins moans brought music to your ears. You loved hearing him like this and you needed more from him. You however wanted a little more fun, you pushed forward, his member sliding out of you, turning round he looked shocked, you had broken his command and he looked mad. You pushed him down onto his back and straddled him. You wanted him to go deeper inside of you, you wanted him completely, you wanted him to cum inside of you and fill you with everything he had and you were not going to stop until you had what you wanted. You reached down and glided his throbbing wet beast back inside of you. And you were going to fuck him slowly. Passionalty Because why should Erwin do all the hard work… when he was the driving force for so many of us?

He laid back and watched, amazed by your work, you rocked your body on him, letting his member do its magic inside of you, moving gently up and down on him, he held onto your breasts, pawing them, reaching up sometimes to suck on your nipples with his mouth, licking around the bud and flicking them. He let out a load moan as you started to speed up a little, as your body till was tingling and numb. But he started to buck his hips, driving his member deep inside of you. You couldn’t move much anymore, your body was so tense from your increased orgasm you could’ve collapsed right there. He could feel you were coming close, so he again took control. He pinned you down and teased you, riding out your orgasm, making it last even longer which drove your body crazy, it was already so tense you didn’t know how long you could last… or if you could even stand up anymore after this. His member pressed against your folds rubbing against you, you let out a loud moan as he pushed himself in, his thrusts getting faster and faster as you arched your back in complete pleasure. “Erwin I…. I” you couldn’t even speak anymore but you suddenly felt him tense up, you looked at him, he was about to cum too. You pulled his head down and kissed him as he released his hot juice into you, riding out his orgasm, he didn’t want it to stop, he wanted you to feel all of him inside of you, he wanted more. He rested on his forearms, on top of you, slowly thrusting back and forth, slowing into a grind, his member still releasing his juice into you as you laid there, your core tensing around his wet member. You looked into his eyes and smiled, he kissed you so passionately you thought it was it, this was where you belonged. You laid there, wrapped in his arms, your head pressed up against his chest. Listening to his heart beat. You were both alive in the moment, finding each other in such a dark dark world.

Months past, more recruits came through. Out of the 103rd training squad, only 5 remained alive through the following year. You and Erwin watched as your friends rode to their deaths on expeditions, secretly watching out for each other out on the fields, keeping each other alive. You were still assigned to Levi’s squad however, so you were still distant from him. But every night you returned to him, to his chambers. To his loving arms where you felt so safe with him. He loved you with all of his heart.

But it was time to tell Nile. He couldn’t be left in the dark forever, him and Erwin were friends after all. Erwin invited him for dinner at the headquarters. You sat next to Erwin, his hand gently placed on your thigh. Nile sitting opposite the two of you.

“So what’s the occasion?” Nile asked looking at the two of you

“I wanted to tell you something” said Erwin, tightening his grip on your thigh “I, am in love with [Y/N]” “What?” He nearly choked on his drink “Erwin what?!” He looked at the two of us “You can’t be serious” “It started last year after the last expedition we went on…” “We went on?!” He looked at me in the eyes “you went outside the walls?!” “I…” You couldn’t say anything, your hand slipped down and held onto his. “I love him Nile” “No, you can’t love him, he is a walking death trap!” Nile snapped “are you a fool [Y/N]?”

“Don’t call her that” Erwin said “we fight for each other” “I can’t believe you let her outside of the walls! You selfish fucking prick!” Nile snapped, you looked to Erwin, who remained calm throughout. “You broke your word Erwin!” “I thought about all the times you broke your word with me…” Erwin sighed “I know you want to protect her, but I want to protect her too, and I can since I am here with her on the front lines” “You can’t protect her!” he shouted “You bastard.. If you dare lay a finger on her…”

You giggled a little, thinking about what you had done in the morning, his large body towering over you, making love to you. “What!” Nile looked to you “What are you laughing at!” “It’s…. A little late for that” I muttered.

But before you knew it Nile’s hard fist was against Erwin’s face, Erwin didn’t fight back, he took it, he let go off my hand, making sure I wouldn’t of been hurt. Nile made his way round the table and grabbed Erwin by the collar. “STOP!” You shouted “PLEASE NILE!” You cried out, trying to grab your brother “Get off [Y/N]!” He held Erwin up “how dare you!” He screamed in Erwin’s face, but Erwin just looked at you, his eyes watering slightly but he wasn’t standing down, but wasn’t fighting back either. You just cried, hitting your brother in the back “You first let her outside the wall and now you are fucking her!” “Stop it Nile! Please!” you cried, Nile let go off Erwin and grabbed you “Please no… it hurts” he had you by the wrists, he pulled you towards the door and pushed you out, you fell to the floor and he slammed the door shut, locking it behind him.

You banged on the door screaming, no one could hear you though, You could hear Erwin’s grunts as he was punched and kicked on the floor. You kept banging until your hands were raw, bleeding and in pain, but it didn’t matter, you kept banging, you got up and started to kick at the door. Putting in all of your strength into getting into that room.

But before you could Nile opened the door. “You won’t leave this city again, nor will you be with him” You looked at him, then looked past, to see Erwin on the floor. Blood trickling from his mouth “What did you do…?” You asked Nile, but as you looked at him, he was gone. He had walked away, that cruel bastard of a brother.

You ran to Erwin, who laid there, you kneeled by him. He looked to you, as you cupped his bloody face “I’m sorry…” You muttered “I tried” You started to try and clean his face, but he grabbed your hand, holding it by the wrist. “Don’t…” He said. “Go…” he said, closing his eyes, “Erwin.. I can’t jus..” “GO! Get out!” he shouted with the remaining energy he had. You looked at him as he let go of your wrist, letting his hand drop down onto the floor again. You stood up, tears in your eyes. You ran out, covering your face.

Erwin laid there, tears flowing from his eyes. What had he done…

You laid in bed for the next few days, not wanting to see anyone or the light of day, you just laid there, dreaming of the times he would be there, cuddling you into the late hours of the afternoon. But he wasn’t there anymore, in fact he was avoiding you… but why?

We were like the trees, even if you break their branches, they grow back, their leaves fall from their homes but they grow back, a tree grows old but is still beautiful, it comes against the rain and hardest of winds… but stands strong, to show its beauty to the world.

But you had to appear soon enough, there was an expedition happening soon, you were expected to join, as Levi needed you by his side on the mission ahead. You didn’t want to leave the room though. You sat there for a moment thinking about everything. You wanted… no you needed to speak to Erwin.

You got up, and dressed for the first time in days. Your hair was greasy, but you didn’t care. You had eye bags were heavy under your eyes. But you didn’t care about it. You didn’t care how you looked, or how you felt, you cared about him, you lived on for him, without Erwin what was your purpose anymore?

You walked, with your cloak hood up, covering your face from anyone who passed you, you had one place you were headed to, and you were not going to top for anyone. You saw Levi, who tried to stop you, but you walked straight past him, Hanji letting out a little laugh as she realised Levi was being undermined by you. You continued to walk towards his room. But when you got there, your heart stopped. You didn’t know what to say.

You felt your body ache, your heart was throbbing in pain, you didn’t know how to deal with this mess, and as per usual it was all done by your brother who was ‘in his best interest’ protecting you.

In reality, he was making your life a miserable mess of events.

If anyone could of protected you it would of been Erwin, but that wasn’t what Nile thought, Erwin was only a squad leader, no one THAT important in his eyes.

You stood there, looking at the wooden floor outside his door, tears welling up in your eyes, your body tense. You just wanted it to be like it use to be and nothing else but that wasn’t going to happen without you knocking.

But then the door opened.

“[Y/N]…” “Erwin…” You said, looking up into his beautiful eyes “I…” “What do you want?” he said, his voice cold “I… I wanted to talk?” “There’s nothing for me to say to you..” He responded “You should be training, we leave tomorrow” “Erwin…” You stood there, in shock, why was he being like this with you “please…” “You should be reporting to Levi, not me” “Erwin…” all you could say was his name, as your hands reached out for him, he shoved you away,

“Go. I’m busy” He closed the door again, you fell to your knees in tears “I love you” you muttered, placing your hand against the door “I love you so much…”

You didn’t know, that behind the door, Erwin was doing the same, his heart was aching, he longed to hold you, he hated seeing you like this, in this state of being. He hated lying to you but if he didn’t, Nile was going to get him in huge shit with the higher ups, for breaking laws, which he didn’t even know he had broken. He couldn’t do that, he couldn’t lose sight of his dream not when he was so close to becoming commander of the Survey Corps, he was sure of it. Even Mike had hinted at it.

But Erwin longed for you, he missed you… he wanted you in his arms.

“Get up” You heard Levi “[Y/N] get up”

“Levi….” You looked to him, your eyes red from crying… how long had you been sitting there for? You didn’t even know, but your knees were numb, your eyes stung from crying. “Get up [Y/N] don’t be like this” “I’m sorry squad leader…” You mumbled. “I am really sorry” “Lets go…” He guided me out.

Erwin appeared again from his room, where he saw a wet patch outside his door… where your tears had hit the floor. It broke his heart just a little bit more. He stood by the window, watching you, your body was weak, he noticed how little effort you were putting into training, but maybe it was because you were tired. It didn’t take long before training was over, Erwin left the barracks to find you lying asleep outside, at the log you first kissed. He stood over you, watching you sleep peacefully, Levi had worn you out, to the point where you fell asleep before dinner.

He picked you up gently, like you were his bride, carrying you to your bedroom. He tucked you in, placing a kiss on your cold dry lips

“I’m sorry” he whispered, before he turned and left, of course you had no idea that had happened.

The next day was the day which would change the history of humanity. You didn’t know that, nor would you ever know that. Levi assigned you to work alongside Mike, meaning you were with him, Erwin and Eld. You were riding with them, outside of the walls… your eyes only looking ahead, seeing his blonde hair in front of you…

“Erwin we have to go through the forest, now!” Mike shouted to him, the four of your turned into the woods, here you could attack titans easier, having trees to attached to.

As you rode in, Erwin spotted a titan, signalling the group you all switched to your 3DMG, flying high into the trees, apart from Erwin didn’t, his equipment wasn’t working properly, as he stopped his horse, the titan got closer and closer

“ERWIN!” Screamed Mike. Your instincts took over. As you saw Moses grabbed by the titan, his arm falling from his mouth. You jumped down “[Y/N] what are you doing!” Eld cried out “NO!” You didn’t listen to him, you got onto your horse, running at the titan, Mike flying down, grabbing Erwin, just before the titan grabbed him, Erwin, who didn’t notice you galloping off, in fact he didn’t hear Eld cry out your name either… Erwin stood in the trees, fixing his 3DMG, while you were heading straight at the titan. You turned quickly, distracting him, the titan chasing you as you rode as if it was your last mission.

But then your horse bucked… because there was a titan in front of you… Your last breath you cried out for him, you felt the titans teeth break your lower half apart, your last image, was him… flying towards you.

That was the day Wall Maria fell, Erwin never really got a moment to grieve for you, his life became too hectic, but he never really forgot about you, every morning, every evening he thought of you, heard your voice in his mind, thinking you were really there.

Erwin heart broke a little more when he was told, by Nile himself, that his threat was an empty one.. “I did it to test you, to test if you really loved her… it seems titans are the only thing in your heart, You let her die, you let her die and now you’re the commander of the Survey Corps! How could you be so cruel! You would’ve died that day if it wasn’t for her dedication and love for you!” he screamed at Erwin “She loved you before she was even in the Corps! You selfish bastard!”

Erwin never forgave himself…

You were in his mind till his last moments… When he closed his eyes for the final time he heard your voice, saw your smile

“Your home…”

Word count: 6959 (see why i called it a short story…)

I have an alternative ending… if anyone wants to read it let me know~

528 notes · View notes

donewithjeon · 7 years

Text

Downfall [15]

Characters: Jungkook x Reader

Word Count: 7,908

Genre: Assassin AU

Two hits in one night—now it’s starting to look like a party.

The first stop at the dance studio did nothing but confirm your team’s suspicions that there’s something meaningful to be found with these map points. Although you’re not sure what exactly the enemy is trying to accomplish, you can still deduce that the information is critical enough to be kept a secret at such high stakes. Why else would the man have decided that it was better to take himself out than to let himself be taken by your team?

A bullet to the head was definitely the easy way out, especially compared to the other options awaiting your captive if you had been able to bring him in.

Alas, without an extra body stowed in the back of the van, you must move on to find a different lead. Thankfully, your thoughts of the previous location slip further from your mind with the growing distance the vehicle puts behind it. It’s a bit of a drive from the dance studio, an hour and a half to be exact, but it’s a good idea to separate yourself from the scene, especially when it goes up in flames like it did. Plus, Namjoon chose this next place because it seemed “promising” during his initial GPS scan of the marks on the map—you just hope that he’s right.

The night is still young when you pass the road signs welcoming you into Gimpo, and by the time Jimin pulls up a block away from the destination, it’s almost midnight.

The target this time is a warehouse; it stands in the form of a fairly large and nondescript building. The exterior is plain and well-maintained with stripes and blocks of vibrant green accenting random parts of the windowed walls. The interior lights are shut off and the only illumination is coming from the lamps distributed meagerly across the side lots. The parking area is completely empty at this hour, and even the security post at the vehicle entrance gate is pitch-black and uninhabited. The absence of the latter seems negotiable with the presence of a fence surrounding the entire grounds—it’s painted the same unsightly green as the sections of the building—but it’s merely a barrier intended to keep the cars and trucks out at night. You and your team will be able to scale it with just a little effort.

The immediate region is just as quiet as the location prior to this one, but you hold off any and all judgments until you get a chance to check indoors, since you know how the situation turned out last time.

Silence is not always a good thing, much like the calm before the storm.

After jumping the fence and taking some time to scout the perimeter for any alternate entrances, you guys find a shabby door to serve as your way in next to one of the many shipment garage panels in the back. Jimin is able to pick the lock and get it open without too much of a fuss; the rusted metal panel can hardly be called a door, but the lack of an alarm implementation is only advantageous for you. Things would have gone a lot quicker if Taehyung didn’t breathe down Jimin’s neck as he worked, purposely irritating him with remarks like “your technique’s all wrong” and “are you sure you don’t need your reading glasses?”, all with his sing-song voice that’s bound to get him in trouble one day—if it hasn’t already.

Nevertheless, you and your team make your way inside without any premature casualties or bruised feelings.

The first thing you see when you enter is darkness. It takes a while for your eyes to adjust as you carefully glide across coated concrete floor, but when they finally do, you still don’t see much. All the lights are off on the ground floor, but the glow of the exit signs and the gleams of moonlight seeping in through the lengthy windows provide you with the visibility you need. There’s an elevator on the opposite side of the room, and the giant double doors lead you to assume that it’s predominantly used to carry cargo and supplies between the multiple levels. Other than that standalone feature, several tall, industrial shelves are positioned before you in rows that look to continue in all directions.

Wordlessly, your team fans out, and you continue on your path by following the western wall to the front of the warehouse. Your arms are held out beside you, almost tilted back a bit as you keep your hands steady for the prospect of a quick draw. You’re wary of any noises that aren’t the footsteps of you or your teammates, but so far, there seems to be nothing out of the ordinary.

You take the time to skim over the contents of the metal shelves that are stacked higher than you can even hope to reach. The items are cylindrical, almost resembling logs wrapped in sheets of plastic, and are clustered in tight groupings on top of one another. After closer inspection, you realize that they are rolls of some sort of mass-produced fabric, bringing you to your educated guess that this is a textile warehouse.

It’s not exactly the most dangerous or thrilling facility you have broken into, but at least there are some things to sift through with the optimism that this long trip out of the city wasn’t for nothing.

All of a sudden, you hear a whirring noise as you near the center of the row you’re standing in. The sound is constant and familiar, and as you keep stepping forward, it only grows in volume.

“I hear something,” you immediately report into your earpiece, just in case it’s worth investigating.

“Well, what is it?” you hear Jimin’s voice answer back.

You see a small hallway branching off of the large area your team is currently scattered across, and when you draw nearer towards the separate zone, you lean your back against the wall before peering over the corner. It appears to be a dead end with the hallway concluding only a short distance from the mouth, but your eyes lock onto the adjacent wall observable from your position.

There’s a dull and dented metal door slightly recessed into the wall, and glancing up at the LED panel above it that changes from a bright red 5 to a 4 before your eyes, you’re positive that it’s the source of the noise.

“Someone’s coming down the passenger elevator,” you say, diverting your attention to press the back of your head onto the wall behind you. The other side of the comms goes silent, and rightfully so—they are all probably at a standstill, waiting for a signal from you to either stay put or make a move.

If the container is at all comparative to the size of the door, it only seems to be big enough to hold a couple people at once. You weigh your options for a surprise attack, but you would have to count on the fact that whoever is coming down here is doing it unknowingly, if the first floor is even the destination.

Before you can come to a decision, you hear footsteps closing in at a fast pace, and you turn your head to the end of the row closest to you just in time to see Jungkook’s figure pop out from his respective aisle. He flashes you a quick smile, which you respond by creasing your eyebrows in confusion, and your gaze follows him as he paces the few steps it takes to go down the hall before stopping in front of the elevator.

“I’ll handle it,” he speaks with confidence to the whole team, but it seems primarily directed at you. You feel the urge to roll your eyes or bite back with how you’re perfectly capable of handling it yourself, but you refrain for the sake of not reverting back to your teenage years. Besides, with Jungkook, you know that his actions are merely due to his undying need to jump into the front lines rather than the reason having anything to do with you or your skills.

“Be my guest,” you grumble curtly, eyeing the LED panel just as the number changes into a 1. A hollow ding resonates through the air, but Jungkook doesn’t move from his spot right in front of the elevator. He obviously is abandoning all discretion this time around and replacing it with borderline arrogance as he stands there, casually waiting for the door to open.

“Don’t get too carried away.”

Namjoon’s reminder enters into your ear just as the metal panel slides open. A man appears at the opening, most likely about to step out into the hall, but with one look at the stranger in front of him, his entire body tenses as if he’s a deer in headlights. You’re able to register an astonished yelp before you see Jungkook leap forward into the elevator. Both of them disappear past your range of view, and you hear a leaden thud followed by a series of strangled noises trying to escape from someone’s throat.

You decide to get a better look at the concealed scuffle, but as you leave your initial spot to move closer, you witness the metal door slide shut once again, completely blocking your sight and muffling the sounds. Jogging up in front of the dusty panel, you watch the brightly-lit number to see if it changes, but it stays right where it is.

In fact, another resounding ding causes you to tear your eyes away from the light to look straight ahead. The door opens up again to reveal Jungkook standing right up against it, facing you with his doe-like orbs.

“All clear,” he says with a content grin. Your eyes lock with his for a moment before they dart over to the far corner of the metal container. The incapacitated man is sitting on the floor, leaning against the reflective surface of the walls with his limbs sprawled out in front of him. He’s wearing a gray uniform of some sort, and judging by the badge embroidered onto his shirt, he just seems to be a simple security guard working the graveyard shift—nothing that could possibly elicit any more than minimum wage.

“Seven floors,” Jungkook speaks up, gaining your attention once more. You see his eyes dart down the side of the elevator imperceptible by you where the buttons for the levels are surely located. Without warning, he takes a large stride forward and off of the platform, barely giving you enough time to step back and allow him enough space to stand as the door closes behind him. “Shall we work our way up?” He lifts his arm up towards the main area, his open palm facing upward in a polite gesture that seems ironic when compared to how he utilized that hand only a minute ago.

With the way Jungkook painlessly took out the security guard, your team still has a decent possibility of remaining inconspicuous to any other possible lookouts on the upper levels. You don’t want to ruin that by taking the elevator unless you need to; the chances of it becoming a metal death trap are very high when confined in an enclosure like that in unfamiliar territory.

“Stairs over here,” Namjoon directs his deep voice into the comms. “Northeast corner.”

“Got it,” you respond back. Without missing a beat, you head to where the rest of the team are probably already making their way up to the second floor. You can hear the soles of Jungkook’s boots landing on the hard concrete as he ambles behind you before catching up and matching your pace beside you. From the corner of your eye, you can tell that he still has a tiny grin on his lips, making you wonder if he’s actually that pleased about taking care of the security guard.

It’s a different smile from the one you witnessed as he rained bullets upon the enemies in the dance studio, but it’s one you’re well-acquainted with nonetheless. You brush off the curiosity before you can find yourself pondering over the subject again, already feeling like you hit the quota of how many thoughts you’re supposed to have about your teammate for the night. You have learned not to be perturbed by his more childish smiles and strangely good moods during missions, specifically during downtime such as this—you don’t bother to ask him about the reason, because the answer always remains the same.

“We’re still alive, aren’t we?”

You’re at the fourth floor at this point, trying to stifle a yawn as you walk down the moonlit aisles of the industrial racks. It’s been a long day, and you didn’t necessarily get as much sleep you were hoping last night. Still, you are trying your best to stay alert of your surroundings, but it’s proving difficult to do so when nothing around you is changing.

Contrary to your mindset just a few hours ago, this is one of the more pitiful parties you have attended.

The rest of the boys have split up to scout the other levels, most of them being above you except for Namjoon who is on the third floor, examining the surveillance machines and security equipment you guys came across in one of the few rooms. He’s the most qualified to handle the technical side of things out of the bunch, so you and the others leave him to his duties while tending to your own. It has been an unfruitful search so far, but the eerie stillness of the towering shelves of supplies almost makes you feel like something’s going to jump out of the shadows.

Nothing of that sort has happened yet, but you’re starting to wish that it would.

The textile warehouse is as normal as can be, filled with rows upon rows of piled fabric rolls either huddled in their own miniature mountains or tucked away inside the frames of smaller shelves so snugly that they look like they’re suffocating. One thing your team was able to uncover from the examination thus far is the name of the company this building belongs to. Since there were no obnoxiously bold letters on the side of the building letting you know, it took a bit of rummaging through the offices on the third floor to find out.

Cheil Industries—unfortunately, the name rings no bells for you or your teammates. The obliviousness is to be expected since the more well-known brand names are only tacked on after the articles of clothing or home furnishings are manufactured with the materials.

At least the name gives you something to relay to Jin later on when you inevitably have to do a mission report.

You turn another corner, about to do a U-turn into the next aisle over, but you stop in your tracks when you hear Taehyung’s voice through your earpiece.

“Guys, I found something. Sixth floor.”

That’s all you really need to turn on your heel and start making your way to the stairwell.

“What is it?” you hear Jimin ask sharply.

“You’re going to want to see this for yourself,” is the reply back. Elusive and intriguing—exactly the type of answer to shut Jimin up and make you quicken your pace up the steps.

After effortlessly climbing several flights of stairs—it’s an acquired skill of yours now, verified by your sweat-free brow—you push open the door to the sixth floor, receiving an elongated squeak from the hinges. It seems as though you’re the third to arrive, but you’re right on the heels of Jimin and Jungkook. You trail behind them as they make a beeline to the back of the center row where Taehyung is leaning against the frame of one of the tall, metal shelves.

This particular floor is dissimilar to yours, because in lieu of the tubes of cloth being amassed in their exposed state, the textiles are stored in boxes and crates stacked upon the spacious racks—at least, they’re supposed to be textiles.

“Feast your eyes,” Taehyung exclaims dramatically, moving his arms in a grand fashion to bring your attention to one of the boxes sitting on the lower shelf with the top popped open. Stepping up behind the other boys who are drawing closer to take a look, you peer inside the particular box and see the mounds of colorful fabric messily bunched aside to reveal clusters of black and silver objects.

Guns.

“Holy shit,” you hear Jungkook exclaim under his breath, obviously not having expected to find a needle in a haystack like this.

“Are all the other boxes like this?” You turn to look down the row you are standing at the end of. There are only a handful of other crates lining both sides of the aisle with the lids haphazardly closed back up after being fiddled with, no doubt Taehyung’s doing.

“I’m not sure. This is the first one I found so far.”

“What’s in the box?” Namjoon’s voice interrupts your thoughts, reminding you that he’s still making his way up the stairs.

“Firearms,” you reply, sidestepping past Jungkook to go up to the adjacent container. “Hidden underneath the fabric.”

Unsheathing your knife, you cut through the bindings of the second box with a swift motion. You reach into the contents after you get it open and feel around the layered cloth to push it away from the middle. Sure enough, your fingers come in contact with a cold, solid material, and when you pull it out to examine it in the scarce lighting, you can tell that the handgun is identical to the ones in the first case.

“How did you know which boxes to check?” You pose the question to Taehyung, impressed by his diligence and decision to dig deeper even after breaching the surface. His shoulders perk up as he presents you with a nonchalant shrug.

“Lucky guess.”

You purse your lips before replacing the gun back where you found it. You’re not sure what kind of answer you were hoping for, but he gave you the one you were most expecting. Looking at Taehyung standing there on his own two feet, the only remnants of what happened today wrapped within the bandages on his right hand, you’re having a hard time disputing his immensely good fortune.

That’s why he’s your ace.

It doesn’t take Namjoon long at all to catch up with the rest of the team, providing news that the surveillance footage for the premises is taken care of. After spreading out to crack open a few more crates, you guys come to realize that there are more of these special kinds sprinkled throughout the room.

“This place is an arsenal.” You glance up at the voice from the box you’re currently delving through—there’s nothing of interest but plain textiles in this one—and you see your brother walking up to you with a pensive expression. “We can’t possibly confiscate everything in here.”

He’s definitely right. You don’t even know where all of the goods are located, and there is no way you’re going to spend the remainder of the night playing hide-and-seek with these covert boxes. Destroying everything is also out of the question without the proper provisions and supervision, and moreover, it won’t generate a desirable outcome. Everything in here is valuable evidence, and it helps that the evidence has high usability from the looks of it, too.

“What do you suggest we do?” You turn to face Namjoon, knowing that he has a plan already laid out in his mind—he just needs to get it out for everyone else to hear.

“First, we should take one of the pieces back to headquarters so we can have Hoseok analyze it.”

You hear a shifting sound behind you, and when you look over your shoulder, you see Taehyung stretching his arm into one of the previously-opened boxes before pulling out a black revolver that seems considerably smaller than it actually is when held in his large grasp; it’s a commendable choice on his part to take a portable item not too bulky in size. You watch him twist his body towards you and Namjoon as he puts the gun in the back of his waistband for safekeeping.

“Done!” he announces buoyantly, flashing his empty palms for a good measure in a way that suspiciously resembles jazz hands after performing a disappearing act.

It’s a surprise that Taehyung doesn’t have the entire contents of that box shoved down his pants by now—he’s not really the best at taking only what is necessary. You wonder how he even manages to carry so many things at once without it ever weighing him down, but then you remember that he emptied out his pockets on the drive over here, leaving the dead receptionist’s handgun and any other trinkets he may have picked up in the van.

“What about the rest?”

The voice makes you turn your attention forward, and you see Jungkook walking up to stop next to Namjoon. Jimin follows right behind him to be the last one to join this impromptu meeting.

“We leave it—set it on fire and let the clean-up crew take care of it.”

“Are you sure?” You frown at the plan that seems so unsatisfactory at a first listen, not really convinced yet that this is the only way.

“There wasn’t any dynamite in these boxes, right?”

“Not that we know of.” Subsequent to the search through the relevant crates dispersed between the multiple rows, the theme for this secret base only seems to be guns, guns, and more guns—nothing that will cause harm when set ablaze.

“Then we should be fine,” Namjoon answers, sharing the same thoughts as you. He isn’t wrong about that; the most that would happen is that the bullets may cook off, but that’s a likelihood exclusive to ammunition, something that none of you saw occupying any of the weapons’ magazines or cylinders—but that’s not what you’re worried about.

“This is a textile warehouse, remember?” you explain, not that anyone needs a reminder of the dizzying amount of fabric stored in this place. “The whole building is going to burn up.”

“That just means less for the police to sift through,” Taehyung says with a cheery tone before volunteering to go fetch the accelerant from the van to get this plan started.

Namjoon seems to have noticed your prolonged grimace, because he goes on to precisely explain his strategy and why it is the most opportune one. You guys will be limiting the spread of the fire to a certain area of this floor, opting for the side of the building with extensive windows that are facing the apartment buildings in the distance. With the position of the flames, someone will be able to see them almost as soon as they are lit, and they will most likely notify the authorities in order to dispatch the first responders for structural fires.

From there, your team will have to leave the rest of the mission in the hands of the officers; once they find the weapons, coupled with the fire, the evidence will give them several motives to find out who the owner of the warehouse is. It will only be a matter of time until the organization is slipped that precious bit of information.

Then you will be given a new target.

You spend some time listening to Namjoon present his points far too meticulously than you would have liked, and after a while, you resort to just nodding in agreement at whatever else he has to say, hoping that your compliance will get him to stop talking.

Letting the law enforcement take over from here almost makes it feel like you’re personally leaving the job unfinished, but you sedate the reluctance that’s still left within you. The clock is ticking and your options have run out, so it’s best to come to terms with the fact that this is the smartest and only choice available at the moment. Fortunately, this tactic will be most effective in chasing your potential lead out of hiding and cornering the person into an easy capture, but this advantage will only work if you get to the target before the cops do.

“This is fun,” Taehyung proclaims once he returns from the trip to the van with a gas can at hand. You swear that there’s a skip in his step as he walks past you to hand the item over to Jungkook. “It’s like we’re playing the good guys.”

“We’re burning down a weapons facility,” you retort, clearly not understanding what the imperceptible goodwill of the imminent destruction could possibly be.

“I know!” Taehyung’s chipper demeanor doesn’t change in the slightest, even as you raise your eyebrow at him. “I feel like Captain America.”

You hear Jungkook scoff over to the side where he is in the middle of distributing the accelerant in the designated area, and you repress the urge to do the same. You’re barely able to register that it’s a reference to the first movie of the franchise, having only seen it to placate Taehyung’s urgings to “keep up with the times”. You’re amazed not only by his tendency to seemingly never run out of energy, but you have no idea how he finds the time to melt his brain with movies and TV shows alike.

“We better stop the presses.” Namjoon tries to interject the superhero talk, making the suggestion more to himself than anyone else as he pulls out his phone to undoubtedly check the time. “We should let them know that there’s going to be some breaking news.”

Although Kim Daily is just a guise for the organization, it is still a fully operational news company. It prospers due to the uncanny ability to be the earliest to arrive at almost every major scene and the knack for always leaving with the best first-hand information.

Who better to report about an incident than the ones who cause it?

“I can’t wait for that to come out,” Jungkook says as he walks up to everyone else, the gas can swinging in his hand looking lighter than before. “‘Captain America suspected of arson at textile warehouse in Gimpo’. Now that’s a headline.”

“Eh, not the most bizarre one I’ve seen,” Jimin inserts with an unimpressed shrug. Before he can start listing off all the strange and probably inappropriate articles he has come across, Namjoon interrupts the lovely group discussion again.

“If we’re all ready.” Understanding his roundabout way of saying “shut up and let’s go”, you take it as your cue to do exactly that, leaving the Captain behind to ignite the flames. The rest of you scurry down the stairwell and out of the building to file into the vehicle you arrived here in.

Taehyung shows up a few minutes later, and when Jungkook opens the car door for him to enter, he practically climbs over the younger boy to get to the very back, successfully grabbing the top of his head to keep steady. He only manages to spill onto his seat after a helpful shove in the rear from a complaining Jungkook.

By the time you guys settle into your seats, you can hear the distinguishable sound of sirens humming in the distance. Someone was already able to see the fire, but you’re not shocked in the slightest. The embers came alive even before Taehyung flung himself into the van, and they are working fast to spread on the sixth floor, emitting a bright, orange glow through the sporadic windows that makes it resemble sparkling Christmas lights.

In the darkness of this industrial area, it really is a sight to behold.

As Jimin drives away from the scene, you watch the light show start to diminish with each passing second until it completely fades away, the spectacle now obstructed by other buildings and foliage. Turning your attention back into the van, you listen as Namjoon starts talking about the next move.

Thankfully, he proposes turning in for the night.

The events that occurred so far will most likely send the authorities into high alert. This means that police of all sorts will be on the lookout or even hunting for clues in the neighboring areas, and that’s not a preferable condition to go cause more mayhem. Even Mr. Shin doesn’t have all the power in the world, which in turn makes sense that not all members of the law enforcement are under his thumb. He has just enough influence to ensure that you are all safe from them, but that doesn’t mean that there isn’t a chance you can get caught if you decide to be reckless.

Three hits in one night is a little much, even for you guys. Two is usually the limit, because by the time it gets to the third, it becomes a motif. That’s when you get too predictable, and the last thing the organization wants is excessive attention on all the wrong things.

So, with the missions more or less cleared for now, it only leaves you with one more thing to do: report.

It takes more or less an hour to drive to your destination, most of which was spent staring aimlessly out of your window. Before you exit the van, you take the time to remind Taehyung about passing the confiscated revolvers to Hoseok so that he can work on identifying the weapons. He just gives you a thumbs up from the backseat before waving his hand to send you on your way. You hop out of the vehicle, and the door closes behind you before the car goes speeding off again, leaving you alone on the streets of Gangnam—specifically, Nonhyeon.

The reason for dropping you off like this is quite simple: you’re the only one fit for this job.

Even if that’s not true, you’re going to keep telling yourself that so you don’t feel annoyed by your blatant desertion. The others are on their way back to headquarters or possibly even their apartments, but you’re here because Namjoon bestowed this responsibility on your shoulders since even your early days of joining the team.

There was no rock-paper-scissors like with the younger boys—just orders.

Wasting no time, you begin down the polished and paved path, keeping up your pace for a couple minutes until the back of the bustling building comes into view. You don’t need to see the front to know what it is—you’ve set your eyes upon the angular, illuminated letters and the distinct, geometric emblem above the entrance many times in the past.

Club Octagon.

You frequent this place for the sole purpose of meeting with your supervisor in order to personally convey your report to him and receive any necessary instructions for the following morning. He is currently fulfilling his own duties at the moment by being in that hellhole, so you can’t possibly complain about having to go in there too—at least, not in front of him.

From what you can remember, Namjoon has never set foot in this club, not counting the times he visited outside of the hours of operation. Somehow, he has made you into a messenger to and from this world of disorienting music and mind-numbingly expensive booze. You can’t blame him for choosing you as the only one in the team he can trust to go in and out without any complications, but you don’t know why he’s so adamant about refusing to go himself. He always makes the same excuse of having other matters to attend to, but if you have to guess, you would say that it’s just another characteristic of his uptight and starchy personality.

Although you have to admit, the club is not for the faint of heart.

Absently waving at the bouncer guarding the unpopulated entry, you watch him open the door for you with a grin that barely makes it past looking like a grimace. You could already hear the thumping bass from a block away, but now that you’re in the belly of the beast, it’s the only thing you can feel. As you carefully climb down the stairs into the basement where the club is actually located, you can’t help but feel glad that the violently flashing lights are less inclined to reach this part of the venue.

The only saving grace of coming to this place is, without a doubt, the backdoor. It’s a relief that you don’t ever need to experience what it’s like up front. This club is awfully exclusive, only doing business Thursday through Saturday, so even though it’s not technically the weekend yet, the nature of this establishment makes it so that the peak hours are basically every hour that this place is up and running. Seeing how it’s nearing three in the morning, the day having switched from Thursday to Friday when the clock struck midnight, the crowd inside doesn’t seem to be exhibiting any signs of leaving soon.

Several years back, the organization was kind enough to assign this nightclub to someone they were sure would run it well: Jin. He was granted ownership of this establishment not too long after he was promoted to the team’s supervising officer. It takes a substantial amount of trust from the higher-ups for something like this to happen, especially when there are many older and wiser members of the organization Jin potentially beat out for the position.

It’s a lot of responsibility to put on anyone’s plate, but you know that there’s an additional crucial and deciding factor that was the icing on the cake of their decision.

It’s not complicated—Jin is extremely handsome. Anyone with eyes knows that, and there’s no way in hell that he doesn’t know it, too.

Word soon got around about the ridiculously attractive owner of the hot new club in Gangnam. This worked wonders to draw more females to the venue, particularly ones who were fresh-faced and attractive themselves, and in turn, this rise led to more party-ready males with fat wallets to become regulars as well.

Thus, business increased tenfold.

Jin usually stays within the confines of his private room, but he knows how to find the right moments to take a stroll around the VIP areas. He’s phenomenal at feeling the crowd and socializing with exuding confidence, and these occasional sightings of his strikingly good looks are just enough to keep the buzz alive.

Although this extra influx of money is nothing to brush off so simply, it is not the true purpose for owning a business like this. Behind the scenes of this tremendously successful club and lounge is a safe haven where clients can come in to place their offers and requests. Jin, along with some other supervisors who use the club more intermittently, meets with these patrons throughout the night and negotiates the terms of even the most staggering and unspeakable jobs.

It’s very rare that a deal goes sour and even more so when it’s Jin sitting at the other end of the table—he tends to get what he wants, all while letting the other party pay the price.

You turn right at the bottom of the stairs and let your legs carry you to the other side of the club. The floor is a glossy concrete, much like the one you walked upon at the warehouse earlier, but it’s noticeably better quality, living up to the Gangnam name. You’re on the third and topmost level, but the railed pathway only follows along the outer walls, leaving the center wide open so that you can see the dance floor at the bottom. You decide to ignore the pandemonium going on below for now and focus on the burly man standing at the end of the hallway. The moment he lays his eyes on you, he gives you a knowing nod before stepping aside to let you pass into the hall tucked away in the corner of the club.

That head tip only means one thing: Jin is not speaking to any visitors right now. You’re glad you don’t have to wait tonight—sometimes, you’re stuck here for hours on end, hoping that Jin finishes up whatever meeting he’s in before you call it quits and walk downstairs to the VIP bar. You rap your knuckles twice on the very first door to your left, the sound completely inaudible under the blaring beats of song playing, before twisting the handle and pushing it open to let yourself in.

The second you close the door behind you with a solid snap, the pounding music seizes to exist, leaving only dull drone in the background of the sounds too loud for even the soundproofing to suppress.

The private room is not as outstanding in size as his office back in headquarters, but it’s adequate enough for Jin and his obligations. There is a dark red leather couch hugging the back wall that stretches lengthwise to hook around and onto the wall immediately to your left. In front of it is a long, rectangular table with a shiny black finish, the corners of the slab cut off so that the shape has eight sides instead of four; other than upholding a flat silver object you assume is a laptop, the surface is bare. On the far end of the table is another leather seat similar to the sectional sofa, except this one is only made for one person.

Jin is sitting in his spot on the single seater, his impeccable posture accentuated by the crisp business suit fitted on his body. The black blazer is on this time instead of draped over the nearest chair, but the button is unclasped to allow him to sit comfortably. His eyes are darting over the numerous TV screens installed on the back wall; they show live CCTV footage of everything from the hallway just outside of this door to the back entryway you just came from. Even from his own isolated room, Jin is able to keep track of everything and everyone, and you don’t expect any less.

This is his place, after all.

“Just you again?” Jin speaks up, averting his attention from the screens to greet you, letting a smile form on his face so that his words don’t seem hostile. You’re sure that he knows the answer to that question, but you decide to humor him anyway.

“As always.” You slide onto the couch so that you’re on the opposite end of the table from him, extending your arms out in front of you to rest them on the cold surface. You wait for a typical sigh to escape his lips, but all he does is keep his smile going strong as he reaches in front of him to open the laptop.

“With the others, I just assume no news is good news.”

“A wise choice,” you say, cracking a smile back at him.

Without resorting to any more small talk, you dive into explaining the events that occurred tonight, mapping out every single detail to the best of your ability. You tell him everything he needs to know: the final body count at the first location including the suicidal receptionist, the discovery of the weapons buried deep within the Cheil Industries warehouse, the two pieces of evidence your team was able to retrieve from both sites, and the confirmation of the fires you ultimately set to them.

After keeping up with your monologue and typing all of the relevant data into the device in front of him, he promptly carries on by devising the next portion of the plan. He tells you that the best thing to do now is to wait for the authorities to do their part, further establishing the conclusion you and your team already came up with. You guys need to wait for the information on your lead to trickle in before you can embark on any searches and seizures of your own accord. The main person of interest is the mysterious owner of the warehouse, but considering the messy situation you left behind, eluding the police—more importantly, the organization—won’t work for long.

“I’m going to have a word with the chief to get everything sorted out.” Jin closes the laptop again so that it claps shut before he clutches his hands together on top of the sleek cover. “I’ll send out a message once I have more info to give, but just know that you should all be ready to go back to business first thing in the morning.”

You can’t help let a wry grin appear on your lips at the fact that it’s morning right now, but you nod responsively to the order. “I’ll let everyone know.”

“Good. That’s all for now.”

Jin concludes the two-person meeting, but you are planted in your spot. You contemplate leaving right away so that you can try your hand at getting a decent amount of rest, but something in the back of your mind prevents you from doing so. He is aware of this too, and he patiently keeps his eyes on you, waiting for the inevitable words to come out of your mouth.

“What did the wanted man even do?”

The question hangs in the air for a moment before your supervisor’s answer floats out almost automatically. “It’s nothing you need to worry about. As long as we follow protocol, he won’t be a problem anymore.”

It’s highly unusual for the organization to have qualms with anyone enough to put out a warrant, especially just for one man, unless compensated by your loyal customers to do so. All business is handled objectively, meaning that the only enemies you really have are the enemies of your clients.

It’s almost never anything personal, but you have a feeling this is exactly that.

“We’re being sent on this wild goose chase about a guy we barely have any details about. I think I deserve to know something so that I’m not just going in blind.”

Jin is silent, but his gaze never leaves yours—in fact, it’s like you can almost feel his burning through yours and hitting the back of your skull, but you stay resolute. A few seconds go by in this stalemate, although you’re certain that if this is a staring contest, you’re going to lose miserably.

At least you won’t go down without a fight.

Much to your relief, there is no need for that. The missing breath of air you were waiting for before exhales from Jin’s lungs as he leans back into his chair resignedly.

“The guy’s a murderer,” he explains, starting off strong. “He wiped out an entire team in one go by blowing up the mission site that turned out to be a hoax. Everyone thinks that he’s a key player in a bigger strategy to take our organization down, so this case is very high on our priority list.”

You listen attentively as things seem to fall into place. It makes sense why your team was sent to Wolmido at the slightest hint of trouble; the false wanted man fessed up about some shipments coming into the dock, and now that you have the right context clues, you can deduce that the items he was talking about were bombs.

In a situation like this, every precaution has to be taken—no warnings can be ignored.

“Don’t think too much about it.” Jin pulls you from your thoughts as he stands up from his seat, smoothing out his white shirt before clasping one of the buttons on the blazer. “It’ll keep you up at night.”

He says that as if you don’t have enough to worry about. You get up from your own spot to stretch your limbs, knowing that what he gave you is probably the best you’re going to get out of him. Jin saunters over to the exit before wrapping his fingers around the silver handle. He pauses to give you a stern look that you can only assume is reminding you that any and all conversations that happened here will not be making it past this door.

“Get some rest,” he repeats his ever-nagging sentence. You wish you could say the same to him, but you know that there’s still a few hours left until the club closes. He probably won’t get any sleep tonight, but that leaves you to wonder when he even has the time to do so.

You’ll leave that question for another time.

Jin opens the door for you, successfully breaking the floodgates and letting in all the noise that now hits your eardrums with twice the force. Throwing your hand up to wave so long to your supervisor, you proceed into the hallway and retrace your steps to make your way out of this place.

As you tread down the platform in the direction you came from, you let your eyes wander over the metal railing. Immediately, your sight is barraged with flashing lights and lasers; the beams unpredictably shoot out in different directions, setting a blazing path of vivid colors into every corner of the club. The intensity is almost on par with the dancing embers you created and witnessed not too long ago.

It’s a different kind of light show, but arguably equally as destructive.

With each flash of light, you can see the wisps of vapor rising from both the fog machine and the collective cigarettes being consumed within the sea of intoxicated people. The smoke is not as thick and opaque as the kind that was released from the burning buildings, but it saturates the stuffy atmosphere in a way that leaves no room for uncontaminated air.

Again, both seem equally as destructive.

You rip your gaze away from the scene once you reach the stairs that will lead you out of this underworld. It seriously feels like a different realm down here compared to the utter stillness and obscurity you faced for the majority of the missions, even with the few parallels you are able to draw. Briskly jogging up the steps, your sensory overload begins to dissipate little by little until you finally make it out of the madness with a push of the backdoor.

Your ears feel a bit murky and you can still see blossoms of light appearing before your eyes, painting the dim streets in front of you with the afterimages of the luminescent club lights. You try to blink them away, but they grow stronger each time, almost as if you are only fanning the flames.

While the images you saw inside Octagon linger in your vision, the images of the structural fires you pulled up for comparison swim in your mind, and along with it, a conjuring of the devastating event that you were finally lucky enough to have Jin disclose to you.

You still have no clue who the wanted man is or what he wants, other than for you all to die, but after the discussion with Jin, you know one thing is for certain—he won’t be a problem as long as everyone does their job.

He too shall burn.

#i'm spending so much time building this world up #hopefully it's worth the effort <3 #downfall #bts scenarios #jungkook scenarios #jungkook x reader #jungkook #bts #bts scenario #jungkook scenario #bts fanfiction #bts fanfic

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ciathyzareposts · 5 years

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Darklands: Travelogue (Part 2)

Alas, the mines proved too much for my journeyman party.

We pick up where the previous entry left off:

Sometime after 5 August 1401. Goslar Mines.

Since you can’t check “Party Info” while indoors, I have no idea how much time has passed since the party entered the mines. As the session begins, we find a second ladder down on Level 4 that we must have missed earlier.

With Maximian and Lambert so low on health, I’ve reconfigured the marching order to put Bianca first (she has the best “Perception”), followed by my NPC companion Hanse. Maximian, in ignominy, picks up the rear. Clearly, I should have waited until I had more prayers or alchemies before attempting this type of quest, but in fairness I had no idea that the mines would be so extensive. Everything until now had been a series of menu options.

We fight one gargoyle before coming to yet another puzzle door, which challenges us to figure out the next number in a sequence that goes 27, 64, 125, 216, 343.

I suspect either you’ll get it right away or it will take you a while. The numbers are cubes of 3, 4, 5, 6, and 7, so the next would be 8^3 or 512. Anyway, beyond the door, another dwarf told me that I’d find enemies further along who were guarding some kind of holy relic.

It would have been nice to have found this.

On the level below, four gargoyles attack just after I get off the ladder. Hanse is seriously wounded. In a side room, Hanse is unable to disarm a chest after multiple attempts. I size up the situation and conclude that I need more skill and craft before I’m able to fully clear these mines. Reluctantly, I make my way back up to the surface, camp, and restore much of my lost strength.

17 August 1401. Wilderness. Party Fame: 52 (barely known).

We notice a strange darkness in the woods: twisted trees, black birds with harsh cries, the smell of smoke. Investigating, we determine that witchcraft has taken place here. We’re soon attacked by a pack of wolves but manage to slay them with minimal damage.

Fools. Everyone knows that the wolves are the enemy of the Shadow.

23 August 1401. Wilderness.

Attacked by a group of bandits. Everyone is wounded more than they ought to be for a foe we’ve fought many times before.

26 August 1401. Erfurt.

We arrive in a city at last. Night is falling just as we go through the gates, so we immediately see about our task to steal notes from the Medici offices. When we get to the central market, we have options to sneak past the guards and custodians, bribe them, or attack them.

Options when skulking about the market at night.

My party isn’t very good at sneaking, but I try it and surprisingly it works. Hanse is able to defeat the lock, and we enter the Medici offices and recover the debt note that the Hanseatic League in Lübeck wanted. In victory, we check into the Lilie and stay several days to return to full health. 5 September 1401. Erfurt. Party Fame: 62 (barely known). Local Rep: 3. It’s time to head back east, find a way to cross the Elbe, deal with Anton Seibt, and get to Berlin. Before we leave, we buy some reagents in the main market, but are once again tossed away from Alchemist’s Lane when we try to buy some formulas. Moving east from Erfurt, we finally find a bridge across the Elbe and thus begin angling back north. 7 September 1401. Wilderness. On the road, a nobleman appears with knights and retainers and demands that we pay the “road toll” of 1 florin. I choose to “try to talk him out of it,” and the nobleman blanches upon hearing our names, graciously letting us use his road for free. “Such are the benefits of reputation and fame,” the game muses, as if we’d earned much of either.

The nobleman acts like we’ve introduced ourselves as the “Gambinos” or something.

9 September 1401. Wilderness.

The party investigates a castle, and it turns out to belong to the robber knight Rainald Nöttelheim. He’s not a high-priority target, as the only quest we have to kill him is from the Medici representative in Goslar. But there are other benefits to killing robber knights, and we’re right there.

I have no idea how my clumsy, armored characters passed this test.

Our usual tactic is to knock and ask for entry, then stay the night, then sneak into the robber knight’s chambers at night. We can’t do that this time because it’s already night. So I choose to sneak into the castle entirely, and it works. We then sneak into his room, defeat him in single combat, and loot his armor as we did the first two times. This is too easy.

13 September 1401. Halle.

We come to a small hamlet on the way to Berlin. As usual, the schulz is no help. We go to confession at the church instead, and something odd happens. The penance given by the priest is to slowly kill a small animal, then recite 10 prayers backwards, then drink so much sacramental wine that we pass out. Needless to say, the party declines to perform this so-called penance.

A warning sign.

Wondering if this oddity is something we should act upon, we return to the schulz and note that one of the options is to accuse the village of satanic practices. We choose that, and in response multiple villagers attack us with clubs and tools. But they’re just peasants, and the resulting combat is both brief and non-damaging to the party.

After the combat, one of the villagers gasps, just before dying, “We will have our revenge East of Strassburg on September 22.” Afterwards, we hike up to the top of a nearby hill and find a demonic altar. With no alchemical or saintly options, we choose to “call forth the demon haunting the site and defeat it in battle,” and we do in fact defeat him in battle. The altar is destroyed and we all gain some virtue points.

The cultist’s statement alarms us, but Strassburg is awful far to the southwest, and there’s no way we can make it there in 9 days. 14 September 1401. Leipzig. Party Fame: 72 (barely known). Local rep: 0. 349 years from now, Bach will die in this city. We have no luck here. The burgermeister won’t see us; the alchemists won’t talk to us; the Kloster won’t even let us study saints. We buy some reagents and move on.

Through the woods to Wittenberg.

23 September 1401. Wittenberg. Party Fame: 72 (barely known). Local rep: 0.

We reach Wittenberg on the way to Berlin. We arrive at dusk. Rather than immediately head to the Goldene Weintraube for the night, we spend a couple hours on the streets beating up thieves. Maximian takes way more damage than makes sense given his plate armor. We retire to the inn and rest a couple of days to restore hit points. Immediately on the road after leaving Witternberg, we are attacked by, and defeat, a party of wolves. 25 October 1401. Wilderness. Huddled mass of beggars on the road. Give 2 florins. 4 November 1401. Berlin. Party Fame: 72 (barely known). Local rep: 0.

We arrive in Berlin at last, on a mission to steal reports from the Medici representative. That has to wait for night, so we spend the day shopping, and Maximian spends a few hours learning of St. Willebald. Just as we’re about to leave, for the heck of it, we toss a few florins in the collection plate and a mysterious monk tells us to come back in the morning.

This led nowhere. Maybe we were too late in the “morning.”

At night, we are able to sneak into the offices of the Medici representative and steal the treason plans that the Hanseatic League representative in Flensburg wanted. We finish off the evening with a bit of the old ultraviolence, courtesy of some hapless thieves, then settle in for a night’s rest at the Alter Krug Dahlem. The next morning, we return to the Kloster but nothing special happens. I don’t know what that was about. We depart the city, heading northwest along the east bank of the Elbe.

I’m beginning to wonder if these quests are really worth the trouble.

15 November 1401. Wilderness. Party Fame: 82 (barely known). Attacked by bandits. Bluffing doesn’t work. We kick their butts. Everyone’s “Impact Weapons” go up a couple of points; the characters are now mostly in their 40s with the weapons after six months of practice. 26 November 1401. Wilderness.

At last, we come across the keep of Anton Seibt. We save the game and try challenging him to single combat. He attacks with a group of his retainers instead, and three of my characters are killed. Reloading, we try the tactic that has worked multiple times already: ask for entry, ask to spend the night, sneak out and find him in the middle of the night, defeat him in five-on-one combat.

Seibt doesn’t fall for any of that “single combat” nonsense.

We now have multiple people to call on for rewards, including some at Lüneberg across the river. This time, there’s an obvious bridge between the two sides. Why didn’t we notice it last time? Did it get washed out?

5 December 1401. Lüneberg. Party fame: 92 (barely known). Local rep: -9. The alchemist and the Hanseatic League are both grateful for the death of Anton Seibt. The game tells me that Hanse leaves after the League gives us our reward, but he doesn’t right away. He stays in the party while we’re still in town. Just as I’m beginning to assume it’s a bug and we’ll be able to keep him, he leaves us as we depart the city the next day.

Our friend announces his departure. Maybe we should have avoided turning in this quest. He was worth 10 florins.

At the alchemist’s shop, I finally find someone willing to sell me alchemical formulas. Even though they cost a pretty 16 florins, I purchase four. This almost ensures that I’ll be able to write about alchemy and potions next time.

Finally!

23 December 1401. Wilderness.

Horrible day. We’re attacked by giant spiders and just after we finish with them, we’re attacked by The Hunt. Maximian is nearly killed.

What is this Hunt dude’s problem?

30 December 1401. Wilderness.

Attacked by wild boars. Fortunately, no one is very hurt. Then we’re ambushed by thieves. Maximian manages to bluff our way out of combat.

31 December 1401. Lübeck. Party fame: 95 (barely known). Local rep: 39.

The oberste, Adam Schmidt, gives us nearly 60 florins for killing Anton Seibt, and our local reputation goes up 43 points (“a local hero”). The Hanseatic League gives us a 7-florin reward for stealing the debt note from Erfurt.

I spend a bunch of our wealth on reagents and then spend a couple weeks at the Rathskellar, healing.

19 January 1402. Flensburg. Party fame: 95 (barely known). Local rep: 80.

Eight months after we left, we return to our city of origin with three rewards to collect. The Fugger representative gives us 6 florins for Seibt. The Hanseatic League representative gives us 3 florins for the reports regarding a plot to overthrow the city. (This lowers our local reputation by 10. What?) But the erbvogt, who also gave me the quest to kill Seibt, refuses to see us two days in a row. This is the second time he’s blown us off after we’ve defeated a robber knight, and I assume it’s some bug in the game. The quest-tracking utility, which I’m no longer using, says that we need to visit the mayor of Flensburg–twice.

The Fugger hates parting with money, even when it’s due.

We decide to settle in for a period of learning and skill development, but this is hard to do in a concentrated way. For instance, the monastery seems to allow you to learn about one saint per visit to the city, not once per day. If you get someone to agree to tutor you, the agreement only lasts for a few days, during which there’s no guarantee that you’ll actually increase. After a couple of frustrating weeks in which we accomplish little, we leave the city.

13 February 1402. Schleswig. Party fame: 95 (barely known). Local rep: -20. I don’t know what happened to our reputation in this city. As far as I know, we’ve done nothing negative here, and yet the guards accosted us when we tried to enter the city. We glibly talked our way out of it, but the experience left us rattled. Maybe our growing fame in Flensburg and Lübeck hurt us here.

Our ruse works–but we’re still not in the city.

I’ll leave off here as the party considers a new plan and exploration pattern, probably returning to summary entries when I come back.

Time so far: 29 hours

source http://reposts.ciathyza.com/darklands-travelogue-part-2/

#retro games #dos games #retro #crpg #adventure #amiga #oldcomputers #8bit #16bit #blog #repost

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williamsjoan · 6 years

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DualShockers’ Game of the Year 2018 Staff Lists — Hoffmann’s Top 10

As 2018 comes to a close, DualShockers and our staff are reflecting on this year’s batch of games and what were their personal highlights within the last year. Unlike the official Game of the Year 2018 awards for DualShockers, there are little-to-no-rules on our individual Top 10 posts. For instance, any game — not just 2018 releases — can be considered.

This year had a lot of great releases, but I still play many games that were released before 2018. Some I play to shrink my giant backlog a bit, while others, like Street Fighter V, I continue to play because they are still getting updates and are a lot of fun online.

It was difficult to choose just ten personal games for me in 2018, especially since I played many older ones. I bought way too many great games on PC in the last two years, thanks to Humble Monthly, and many other bundles alongside individual purchases.

Now, here are my Top 10:

10. GemCraft: Chasing Shadows

This tower defense game was released back in 2014, and it’s already the fourth game of the series. It is a true beast of a game with almost 200 levels and each of them can be a mighty challenge..IF you use the different options and battle traits + difficulty modes to make them one.

It is my most played game according to Steam so far, with over 330 hours. This year I took on the Iron Wizard challenge mode, which removes many features that made the game easier in its normal mode. The developer is currently working on the fifth game in the series that might come with many new features, but will also continue to build on the surprisingly deep and dark story of the GemCraft games.

9. Batman: Arkham Asylum

Yup, I am playing really old games that most people played years ago already sometimes. I love to play many good games, but the majority of my time is usually for fighting games and single-player adventures as the exceptions.

Sometime this summer, I finally started Batman: Arkham Asylum on PC and was…well, hooked. It took me some days and nights to get through it, but they were an awesome experience. The game still looks nice and plays well in 2018, and I am looking forward to playing and beat Arkham City in 2019.

8. BlazBlue: Continuum Shift Extend

First of all, the BlazBlue games are a wonderful series of technical fighting games, but they also have a story mode that kicks ass. Unlike the big cinematic experiences in the Netherrealm Studios fighting games like Mortal Kombat X and Injustice, they are going for the visual novel style which can be boring for those that want to see action instead of reading or listening to it, especially the sometimes cringy dialogue.

But if you like this type of story-telling, the BlazBlue games are doing a damn fine job. BlazBlue: Continuum Shift Extend especially has a big main story but also individual story modes for the over 20 characters, and also a few extra stories. I played both the arcade mode and all the story stuff this year and believe that the BlazBlue universe can cause you even more headaches than the Kingdom Hearts ones.

But…I laughed often and that means it was worth the around 50 hours!

7. Grim Dawn

Grim Dawn is a hack & slash (& shoot) action-RPG by the TitanQuest developers, released in 2016 and one of the games that are constantly getting free updates and additions alongside purchasable expansions. Beside its grim setting, it is as addicting to me as Diablo II: Lord of Destruction was many years ago.

Even today and after many hours of playtime I did not see all the skills of every class or discover all the additional parts of the big world this game offers. I stopped playing Diablo 3 years ago as it was just not my thing, but this game is my favorite Diablo-like game now since its launch. It is still getting content, including a big second expansion soon that comes with another character class. Oh well…

6. DOOM

I loved the old DOOM games and also the fantastic Brutal Doom Mod, but I had just too many other games to play in 2016 and 2017. In June this year, I eventually started 2016’s DOOM and did not play another game before I beat this damn gem of a first-person shooter, which took around 15 hours for me.

Everything in this game just screams “TESTOSTERONE,” from the awesome industrial metal soundtrack to the fast and very brutal gameplay, and being a protagonist that is more dangerous than even the Cyber-Demon himself. Can’t wait for DOOM Eternal now.

Check out the DualShockers review of DOOM.

5. Earth Defense Force 4.1

To save our mother Earth from any alien attack From vicious giant insects who have once again come back We’ll unleash all our forces, we won’t cut them any slack The EDF deploys!

Play it…love it. This is one of the best video games ever created, and for me personally in the same league as Tetris, The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past, Street Fighter II and Alien 3 on the SNES.

I can’t wait to play Earth Defense Force: Iron Rain next.

E.D.F! E.D.F!!! E.D.F!!!!!!

4. Dungeon Warfare 2

Dungeon Warfare 2 is basically a tower defense game but instead of towers, the player has a ton of different (over 30) traps to use against the masses of humans that want to enter the dungeon. The game has a ton of maps to defend, and the player has to learn strategies and also how to use runes that raise the difficulty of the enemies. But, this also results in bigger rewards for clearing the map and is accompanied by a super fitting metal soundtrack.

I bought this indie game at launch on Steam in July and played almost 60 hours so far. If you like defense-like games, being the evil guy, using traps, and you just love to listen to the death screams of your enemies…Dungeon Warfare 2 is something for you.

3. Yakuza 0

Yakuza 0 was first released on the PlayStation 3 in Japan back in 2015 already, but it is also the first Yakuza game released for the PC. It took SEGA three years to port it, but the game did not feel old or anything to me since I did not play the current-gen Yakuza games like Yakuza Kiwami 2 and Yakuza 6 yet.

The graphics in Yakuza 0 look greater than ever before on PC, and the game itself is just like a rollercoaster ride through Japanese culture and the Japanese Mafia that the series gets its name from. The two absolutely lovable main protagonists, Kiryu Kazumi and Goro Majima, are a highlight in the sometimes funny, but sometimes also very sad main story.

This game illustrates how video games can be a perfect platform for a combination of an emotional story, relatively simple beat’em up gameplay, a sightseeing tour through Tokyo, and many short stories that are helping both main protagonists to express their very different personalities. I played it for around 40 hours to beat the main story, around 45 of the over 80 side stories, and I am now getting motivated to beat the complete Yakuza game series someday.

Check out the DualShockers review of Yakuza 0.

2. Super Meat Boy

This wonderful game starts so easy…and becomes a nightmare as soon as you meet the first boss. Super Meat Boy truly made me appreciate difficult level design more than any other video game I know about. I beat it by playing only 1-3 levels per day to not lose my mind in the last worlds.

This is one of the best 2D platformers ever made, and if you like a “meaty” experience get it, play it, and try to bat it completely, including all the extra characters and stages.

Good luck.

Check out the DualShockers review of Super Meat Boy.

1. Street Fighter V: Arcade Edition

I originally bought Street Fighter V on February 16, 2016 but returned it after only a few days, since I was absolutely not happy with the game and how problematic it was, especially the online matches. However, I got a good deal with the PC version in December 2017 instead and also bought the first two season characters.

While I had some fun already with the story mode in the original version of Street Fighter V, I was looking forward to the Arcade Edition and since then, it has not disappointed. The Arcade Edition would add a real arcade mode as well as weekly Fight Money based challenges in the form of Shadaloo Soldiers, and the option to “unlock” extra costumes like the really cool Captain Commando costume for Nash.

To make it short, Street Fighter V is an excellent fighting game that has really a ton of content for both single players and weirdos like me that love to fight world warriors from everywhere and show them some #PsychoPower. And since I first played the game, the Arcade Edition shows it has come a long way.

I have played this game for over 300 hours off and online now since December 2017, and have some fun with it almost every day. Grab it and challenge me : )

Check out the other DualShockers’ staff Top 10 lists and our official Game of the Year Awards:

December 17: DualShockers Game of the Year Awards 2018 December 18: Lou Contaldi, Editor in Chief // Logan Moore, Reviews Editor December 19: Ryan Meitzler, Features Editor // Tomas Franzese, News Editor December 20: Scott Meaney, Community Director December 21: Reinhold Hoffmann, Community Manager // Ben Bayliss, Staff Writer December 22: Ben Walker, Staff Writer // Chris Compendio, Staff Writer December 23: Eoghan Murphy, Staff Writer // Grant Huff, Staff Writer December 26: Iyane Agossah, Staff Writer // Jordan Boyd, Staff Writer December 27: Max Roberts, Staff Writer // Michael Ruiz, Staff Writer December 28: Noah Buttner, Staff Writer // Rachael Fiddis, Staff Writer December 29: Steven Santana, Staff Writer // Tanner Pierce, Staff Writer December 30: Travis Verbil, Staff Writer // Zack Potter, Staff Writer

The post DualShockers’ Game of the Year 2018 Staff Lists — Hoffmann’s Top 10 by Reinhold Hoffmann appeared first on DualShockers.

DualShockers’ Game of the Year 2018 Staff Lists — Hoffmann’s Top 10 published first on https://timloewe.tumblr.com/

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recentanimenews · 6 years

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RABUJOI’s Top 10 Anime of 2018

We watched over forty shows this year – not a record by any means, but definitely a product of our commitment only to watch the best shows available (with some notable exceptions in cases where we’re too far behind with certain franchises). As a result, a quick glance at our Big Board will show a lot of blue, indicating a lot of 8’s and 9’s with a handful 0f 10’s mixed in.

It’s not that we just like everything; it’s that we (usually) set a high standard for what we watch. If something is consistently scoring below 8 or 7, we’ll probably drop it, since there’s just not enough time to waste on subpar show. That being said, even among these forty shows (out of the 100+ that aired) there are a select few we would recommend over the rest; the Cream of the Crop…The Best of The Best of The Best (with honors).

Ok, enough cliches…let’s get down to it, shall we? Say you were incredibly strapped for time this year, and couldn’t watch any anime. To binge forty shows now, with just a couple weeks left in the year, would not be good for your health. So we’re making it easy for you: watch the ten shows below, and you’re sure to be satisfied!

Our tastes may differ a tad from the masses here at RABUJOI so we’ve included weighted scores from both MyAnimeList and Anime News Network, and then very unscientifically averaged them with our own scores for the final ranking.

10. Darling in the FranXX

7.82 | RAB: 8.92 | MAL: 7.61 | ANN: 6.93

The adolescent male-female pilot pairs of the titular FranXX live to fight the mysterious yet deadly enemy, and nothing else; they weren’t given a choice in the matter. This is a story of the bonds they share, the joys and trials of living together, falling in love, stumbling into adulthood, and finally coming to question the roles assigned to them by the adults. It features Trigger’s signature visual flair and compelling performances from Tomatsu Haruka and breakout newcomer Ichinose Kana. It wasn’t perfect by any means but it was thoroughly exhilarating more often than not.

9. Koi wa Ameagari no You ni (After the Rain)

7.92 | RAB 8.58 | MAL 7.61 | ANN 7.56

A high school student falling for the 45-year-old single parent manager of the restaurant where she works could have been a landmine, but their story is handled with a deftness, sensitivity, realism and beauty, matched by achingly gorgeous animation and character design and some powerful voice work from the HanaKana-channeling Watabe Sayumi.

8. Yagate Kimi ni Naru (Bloom into You)

8.28 | RAB: 8.80 | MAL: 7.76 | ANN: n/a

Perhaps the best pure romance of the year despite not being over yet and one half of the couple quite adamant she doesn’t have feelings for the other. Yet she seems to be gradually coming to like her senpai—wonderfully voiced by Kotobuki Minako—more and more, which is exactly how my love for this series has progressed: like a blooming flower.

7. Shokugeki no Souma: San no Sara – Toutsuki Ressha-hen (Food Wars! The Third Plate: Totsuki Train Arc)

8.35 | RAB: 8.75 | MAL 8.37 | ANN: 7.93

Food Wars is definitely one of those shows you’re either all-in from the beginning or hopelessly lost, but this second arc of the third season was one of the strongest due in no small part to watching how Souma and his numerous allies closed ranks and started to fight Azami’s oppressive new culinary regime. Best of all, it means Erina and Souma finally on the same side. Not to mention there are few shows that so seamlessly integrate the art and science of cooking, not to mention leave their audience hungry both for the next episode and for the food that had been presented.

6. Shingeki no Kyojin (Attack on Titan) Season 3

8.39 | RAB: 8.75 | MAL: 8.52 | ANN: 7.91

Like Food Wars, those who sign up for Titan are well aware they’re in it for the long haul. Indeed, the mysteries that have unfolded in the manga may never be put to the screen, with the show’s apparent primary goals to simply entice its audience into consuming the source material. But while we only got twelve episodes this time, not a single one was wasted. A lot of secrets were revealed, and the girl formerly known as Krista Lenz took her rightful place beside Eren as one of the chief protagonists of the series with a bizarre (this is Titan) and utterly righteous arc.

5. Hinamatsuri

8.45 | RAB: 8.83 | MAL: 8.34 | ANN: 8.18

Perhaps the best pure comedy of the year, Hinamatsuri is full of interesting, colorful, and imminently rootable characters, from the yakuza with a heart of gold and a love of antiques, to the young woman with telekinetic powers who suddenly enter and complicate his life, to that girl’s ridiculously hardworking classmate who ends up tending bar (and being pretty damn good at it). But while the comedy is almost omnipresent, there’s still some pockets of meaty character drama within the dozen episodes.

4. Steins;Gate 0

8.50 | RAB: 8.96 | MAL: 8.65 | ANN: 7.89

Seven years is a long time to wait between an anime and its sequel, though I only had to wait three since I got into the first series late. I’m glad I did, though; it’s one of my favorite (if not favorite, full stop) shows, animated or otherwise, whose emotionally dizzying heights were matched only by its emotionally hellish lows. 0 spends much of its time in the depths, with Okabe never not mourning the loss of his beloved Kristina, even if it meant saving his beloved Mayuri. But thanks to a little help from friends old and new, including a virtual version of Kurisu called Amadeus, Okabe gets his groove back and foils the plans of a scientist even madder than he.

3. Violet Evergarden

8.68 | RAB: 9.15 | MAL: 8.59 | ANN: 8.30

VE has the distinct air of the anime equivalent of “Oscar Bait,” as goes to almost obsessive lengths to demonstrate its peerless quality of animation, music, and melodrama. I don’t usually go for Oscar Bait movies, myself, but doggone it, Violet Evergarden, despite being a bit pretentious, is nevertheless a gorgeous, marvelously-crafted, and exceedingly enjoyable piece of entertainment. Watching its deeply wounded inside-and-out titular heroine gradually gain the humanity that had been repressed in her bloody past is never not spellbinding.

2. Sora yori mo Tooi Basho (A Place Further than the Universe)

8.75 | RAB: 9.15 | MAL: 8.61 | ANN: 8.50

Ordinary girls seek an extraordinary adventure, and end up forming bonds that will last and memories they’ll cherish for a lifetime. That those ordinary girls are in Japan and the adventure they seek is all the way in Antarctica makes heir goal feel unattainable at first, even naive. But Shirase, Mari, Hinata, and Yuzuki gradually make believer of us. And that they manage to actually achieve the feat of going to the literal end of the earth is just the beginning. Overflowing with charm, love, and camaraderie, Yorimoi is a Must-Not-Miss.

1. 3-gatsu no Lion 2 (March Comes In Like a Lion 2), Second Cour

8.92 | RAB: 9.18 | MAL: 9.05 | ANN: 8.54

We don’t consider it cheating that a show that first aired in 2017 gets the top billing here. First of all, the eleven episodes of the sequel all aired in 2018, and secondly, it was just that damn good. Indeed some of the best episode sof the entire series took place this year, as examination of Rei’s depression gave way to those of his fellow shogi players like the ethereal (and profoundly lonely) Souya, as well as his young friend Hinata, who despite being quite simply one of the kindest souls alive became the target of horrendously cruel school bullying. Since Hina was one of the people instrumental in saving him, Rei considers it his duty to return the favor, with overwhelmingly gratifying, life-affirming results. No anime this year exuded love as powerfully or consistently as Lion. For that and many other merits to its name, it was the best of 2018.

By: rabujoistaff

#Anime #News #RABUJOI – An Anime Blog

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elidecarteretfutureworks-blog · 7 years

Text

DD2000 Essay research

Essay question: Do games and other creative mediums have an underlying layer of sexism in their designs?

References and research:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com.au/2016/07/10/the-slow-evolution-of-women-in-video-games_a_21425353/

http://www.radford.edu/~mzorrilla2/thesis/gamerepresentation.html

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-27824701

https://www.theguardian.com/technology/commentisfree/2014/feb/19/video-games-need-more-women-female-characters

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexism_in_video_gaming

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/family/playing-video-games-can-lead-sexist-attitudes-study/

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/566429325/tropes-vs-women-in-video-games/posts/242547

https://kotaku.com/5918217/these-guys-made-a-list-about-sexism-against-men-in-video-games-are-they-trolling

https://www.autostraddle.com/ubisoft-cant-have-female-characters-because-women-are-too-difficult-to-animate-one-million-eyes-are-rolled-241278/

http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-6-dumbest-excuses-game-makers-gave-excluding-women/

http://www.stylist.co.uk/life/music-and-misogyny-why-were-all-listening-to-sexist-lyrics

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-4747748/Study-film-scripts-shows-sexist-Hollywood-REALLY-is.html

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/womens-business/10568504/Lack-of-respect-and-sexism-is-daily-reality-for-female-architects-survey-finds.html

https://www.gamespot.com/articles/percentage-of-female-developers-has-more-than-doubled-since-2009/1100-6420680/

http://www.unite-it.eu/profiles/blogs/why-are-so-few-women-developing-video-games

http://theconversation.com/more-women-are-becoming-game-developers-but-theres-a-long-way-to-go-79843

https://www.polygon.com/2012/10/25/3544758/game-development-in-the-middle-east

https://search.proquest.com/openview/0a09ac42fe21f99ee2ca4fb8cc47b2b4/1?pq-origsite=gscholar&cbl=41036

Essay plan sub-headings:

Introduction

Introduce what going to talk about with a couple of statistics to back up

Examples of sexism in games (using key examples)

Some examples of games which have a layer of sexism involved in them in some way, using examples to back up this point, reasons why they appear sexist and possible reasons why.

Dating Sims

GTA

Duke Nukem 3D

Mario- Princess: Woman needs saving

Ride to Hell: Using women as rewards

Witcher 3: Using women as rewards/ objectifying

How females have been represented in the past

Female video game characters of the past were mostly relegated to roles of the 'bag-carrier wearing next-to-nothing' kind. Lara Croft, and her super-tight tank top, was the poster girl for female gaming.

Research concerning gender representation in video games often focuses on a few key points of how men and women are depicted differently: frequency and playability (ability to play a male character versus a female character), physical abilities, role in the game, and physical representation (in terms of body, attire, etc)

Animating difficulties for women

Game designers have even complained that females were more difficult to animate due to bone structure and as they’re more emotional, the designers would have to animate a more expressive face. It has also been said that they were more difficult to animate due to female characters ‘constantly disrobing’.

Ubisoft can’t animate women- Article

How this sexism affects players viewing this

Links to violence

YT comments/ Reddit comments

Trolling- attempting to engage reactions

Men playing as the hero shows their fantasies as it makes them feel powerful and masculine- James Bond syndrome.

Apart from sexism in video games and under-representation of female characters in games, there is also the sinister world of real-life sexual harassment of women players and those in the gaming industry.

The #GamerGate controversy in 2014 started as an attack against one female developer, which saw her home address and phone number published and a sustained campaign to destroy her public image. Its proponents claimed to want to restore the traditional values of gaming.

Gamer rate and people in industry rate

How many choose to play as male/ female in games

Players, designers and characters mostly male dominated.

48 percent of all gamers are female. 50 percent of men and 48 percent of women saying they played video games on a console, PC, or handheld device. Despite this, men are much more likely to self-identify as "gamers" than their female counterparts, and both men and women generally assume that most video game players are men. Fully 60 percent of Americans, including the men and women who play games, assume that gaming is a male activity. That assumption is reflected in who considers themselves a gamer. Fifteen percent of men surveyed consider themselves gamers, compared to just 6 percent of women. The discrepancy between who people assume plays video games and those who actually do is likely to do with gendered assumptions about gaming reinforced by marketing and culture. Games like Call of Duty, Madden, and The Legend of Zelda consciously target boys and men while leaving girls and women out, creating the expectation that the medium itself is an explicitly male one. That strategy bears out for men ages 18-29, with 77 percent of respondents saying they play games and a full 33 percent identifying as gamers. That compares to 57 percent of women playing games and just 9 percent of female gamers in the same age group. However, Pew did also find that people's relationship to gaming changes as they age. Thirty-eight percent of women over the age of 50 play video games, as compared to 29 percent of men. (https://www.theverge.com/2015/12/15/10220440/pew-research-center-video-games-gender)

Marketing strategies:

How marketing plays a part in this split of gamers and how games are marketed to certain groups.

https://www.polygon.com/features/2013/12/2/5143856/no-girls-allowed

History

Stats breakup on audience and no. of developers 80′s/ 90′s etc

Ways that sexism is beginning to be removed from games (using key designers and studios)

Call of Duty Black Ops 3 featured a female soldier.

Female sports players are beginning to feature in games, such as FIFA and Don Bradman Cricket ‘17. "One thing we decided from early on was that we didn't want to be tokenistic about this; we wanted to ensure that, just as in the men's game, that the women's is as completely true to the sport as is possible,"- Big Ant Sudios CEO Ross Symons.

Australia's Kayla 'Squizzy' Squires became the first female to qualify for Call of Duty World League in Los Angeles, a video game tournament pitting the world's best gamers against each other. Known as an 'eSports athlete' Squires plays as part of team, Exile5. She is leading the way for professional female gamers in Australia and she's told The Huffington Post Australia the tide has certainly turned in favour of female gamers.

"When I first started playing back in 2012 I didn't know any other female gamers. But things have changed. Not only are there more and more female gamers, who are attracted to the competitiveness of the games, there's much better representation of females in the games. It's come a long way just in the last few years," Squires said.

"The rise of female gamers means that the designers have really had to listen to what we want and it's really pleasing to see some great, strong females in a variety of games."

Video games now attract celebrity fans like Cara Delevingne, who is extremely vocal about her love of the game. She even appeared in the trailer for Call of Duty: Black Ops 3.

But while there has been a lot of progress, there are still grumblings that female representation in video games has not gone far enough and that the games will never feature full gender equality. But there are games like Mass Effect: Andromeda which, as revealed at the recent E3 Expo in LA featured a female lead character. Other Mass Effect games allow players to choose the gender they wish to play by.

"It's evident in seeing the games progress to what they're like now. In Infinite Warfare the female soldier is a very high ranking officer, who is very respectfully dressed. We've come a long way from Lara Croft with her boobs and skimpy clothing. So I do believe the game developers are taking it on the chin when it comes to designing female protaganists," Grace said.

"I'm really hopeful that this will start to be the end of females in video games as the 'damsel in distress. Female gamers sent a strong message that we love gaming too and we want to have strong female characters. We've said, 'Can you please cater to us?' and many of them have listened."

Why sexism occurs

How create relatable characters when not them

How can a group of white males create a fairly represented black female character.

Audience from history of games

Other cultures attitudes:

Western, Japan, China, Middle Eastern: Rapelay

Other religious attitudes towards females: Possible reason for why occurs in other cultures.

Sexism in other mediums (films, art, interior design, music) (Lessons learned from wider contemporary design issues- Film, art, interior etc)

Music

Films

Art

Interior design

Possibly clothing/ fashion?

Conclusion

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