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ive been trying to convince myself that im a very capable adult who can do anything i want but at the same time it also seems like the anxiety monster has reappeared again 💀
when you need to submit a expedited passport renewal thinking it'll be easy and quick like in your home country but you forget you're working with a US federal agency so it costs $280 and you have to hound them about it and even call your congressman because they might not even complete it within 3 weeks
FLORIDA BANS GENDER MARKER CHANGES ON DRIVERS LICENSES
From Esqueer_ on Twitter:
"BREAKING: Florida has taken unilateral administrative action and banned gender marker changes on drivers licenses. Any trans person who has had theirs changed is potentially subject to suspension. Anyone attempting to change it after could be criminally prosecuted for "fraud."
If the language used in this directive is taken at face value, any trans person driving with a changed gender marker on their drivers license could be criminally charged with fraud.
This interpretation could potentially apply to anyone driving in the state, including tourists.
Any out trans person could have their license revoked or suspended at any time under this policy and unlikely to be able to be renewed with the current gender marker.
This is a massive and intrusive change erasing legal recognition and criminalizing trans people in the state."
Source:
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It should be clear by now that those of us who are currently in "legal" limbo waiting for our birth certificate ammendments are SOL.
Trans Floridians and trans folks driving through Florida, please be very, very careful. Trans Floridians about to change your gender marker - unfortunately, I suggest cancelling your DMV appointment, in the event an overzealous clerk wants to charge you with fraud. Don't even bother with the birth certificate -- it will be a waste of time and money and potentially put you on some sort of List. :/
Again, I urge all trans Americans, regardless of state of residency, to get their passports asap. Not only to flee the country in an emergency, but as a form of ID that still has your proper gender on it.
The policeman who did my passport yesterday was such a raging cunt like i wish i could have a job where i could literally sit and do whatever all day and nobody fucks with me not in the slightest.
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it's hackathon week next week and there are so many things i need to do (passport renewal, accommodation stuff, dental appointments, packing for flight, chores, etc), so i apologize if i'm kind of inactive or off in this blog or discord!!
i only worked a half day today!!! and i don't work tomorrow!!!! i love not working!!!!!! and today i worked from home so i picked up delicious coffee and breakfast sandwich and got to eat it in my pajamas at my desk!!!!!
after work i had an appointment to get my passport renewed, which i have been putting off for like actual decades. but i would kinda like to be able to leave this country actually! so i wanted to make sure i got it done, and i finally went and did it.
i worked a short day because my partner and i took their daughter to her first concert. it was a lil rough, she is young and didn't know the music and got bored, but i did a really good job of like taking her for walks to go on adventures, and i found a place for her to get earplugs when it was too loud for her, and i bought her snacks and concessions, and i took cute pics of her and my partner together to commemorate the day, and my partner was really grateful and i was glad that i was there to help :))
Renewed my driver's license. Only needed my original birth certificate, passport, and every piece of paper, from the first notice, to the number documenting the last online chat, the online payment, the creation of the online account, and still they wanted more...it's all online AI before you can make the appointment, and nothing works. You have to go back and reread Kafka to see how we got to this place. The DMV is The Castle. Going there is The Trial. And you are the giant cockroach.
Hey! This question might be a little out of the left field for your blog, but I was wondering what getting into development after college was like for you? One thing I really admire is that— at least from an on looker's point of view —despite the work you do postgrad you've still got a lot of room for writing and interests. I was wondering just how that progression went? Maybe it wasn't progression at all but rather an extremely calculated 52-step misstep into becoming what might be able to be recognized as an adult? Maybe being an adult is about believing you're one first, and actually being one second? Suspension of belief but for emotional maturity? Just looking for a few pointers during my undergrad! :)
djfnkjdf, okay so! tackling things in order
For balancing job and life stuff and interests - it's not like I had any kind of complicated formula. I've landed at a company with a pretty good company culture around work-life balance. Software seems to have a pretty wide spectrum of like, "we expect all waking hours devoted to the company goal" all the way to like "hey everyone jsyk I'm gonna be off at 3pm to take my daughter to her dentist appointment see you later". I did undergrad with a very "all hours dedicated to my course work" mindset and, while the success was nice, the burn out was real. Ending up at a company with a good walk-the-walk approach to work-life balance has been very nice for healing from that, lol. It's a good thing to keep in mind (if you're in a similar field--which maybe you are, since you're math-adjacent) when job-hunting. like sure some people would maybe love to take up a grindset job for a year or two. But if you're looking into something you think you could settle in to long-term, ask around and do some research into the company culture.
As for the whole being an adult thing, I think the best way I've heard it phrased is that adulthood is just building up a ton of "oh, I've done this before" experience. There's a lot of rocky firsts. (This is a random list, which not everyone does, but just examples) things like getting an apartment for yourself for the first time, or setting up electricity in your name for the first time, or setting up internet for the first time, or doing your taxes for the first time, or paying your rent for the first time. And they're all scary things to figure out for the first time! Then over time--at whatever age or milestone you hit these points--they become "oh I've done this before."
If you have adults in your life who can help walk you through this--either parents, family, older friends, that older coworker you get along with--I recommend asking for help and advice. Because those people are "I've done this before" adults who can help you figure it out for the first time when it's new and scary to you. And then once you've done it, and gotten used to it, it won't be new and scary anymore. It'll be a thing you just know how to do now.
I have now set up internet in my name before, and it's become less scary because I now know how to do it. Electricity, gas too. I know how to do my taxes, because I've done them before (and I definitely leaned on advice from my dad the first year I had to do them). I know how to hire movers, because I've done that before. I know how to pay rent. I know how to get a credit card. I know how to order a checkbook, and renew a passport, and how to wire money. I know how to set up online payments. I know how to ride the public transit. I know all that because they were--at one point--scary first-time "adult" things which I had to research, and maybe ask for advice on from adults in my life or the internet, but now I've done them before, and now I know how to do them again, and they aren't so scary.
(Also, for a lot of these things, really, ask!!! For a lot of adult things, there are helplines or offices staffed with people who are happy to help people who are politely looking for information. [Sure okay maybe sometimes you'll encounter someone who's unhappy to help, or doesn't have the info you need] but I've had a lot of success going to places or calling numbers and just being like "hey, sorry, I have some questions about how this works. I'd really appreciate some help!" Just being respectful and courteous of people's time and attention has gotten me a lot of help from city-hall workers, internet service providers, electric companies, rental companies, mortgage brokers, and so many others--people whose job it is to answer questions and give information.)
Hell, I've had a scary couple of months recently feeling out of my depth and inexperienced because (since October) I put an offer on a condo, got a mortgage, closed on the condo, and moved into it. It was a lot of scary firsts. I leaned a lot on older coworkers/relatives/friends for advice (and made sure to show my appreciation for their support--I think that's another part of the process--the gratitude.) It really was not something I could do entirely on my own. But I know a lot more now. I've had a lot more experiences around it. It's now something I "know how to do", and could conceivably do again (just hopefully not for a long time, lol).
Anyway this is getting long but the point is adulthood is not something that happens all at once. It's a steady easing into life experiences and a culmination of "I've done this before" that makes the pieces of adult life less scary over time. Ask for help. Learn. You'll be okay. You'll get there.
Then finally as for MATH--the answer is because math fucks and goes hard as my degree was built on my own blood sweat and tears with multivariate math courses and I saw the opportunity to remember my math roots from high school and make it everyone else's problem in ABoT so I did.
whoever said I could skip renewing my drivers license and just get a passport is now my mortal enemy because I just left my passport appointment empty handed bc they won't accept expired ID