#passion abt smth (not necessarily in academia! just . a goal) is just important to me personally :)

[faaun]

i'm sorry i'm not trying to impose or give my opinion where it isn't needed but i have thoughts on the post you made about your gf. i've been in a relationship for 3 years and i'm the happiest i've ever been in my life (we are 21 and 22). my boyfriend is an engineer and is very academically motivated/dedicated to his studies. i'm in college now but when we met i had no idea what i was doing. i didn't even know if i was going to be able to go to college because my mental health was so bad. i was working a minimum wage job. my bf was already working at an engineering firm. i felt so bad about this and genuinely thought that i had nothing to bring to the table. even though i didn't have a college education i was able to use the skill set that i did have to get hired at a local cafe and found a job that i love and am so endlessly passionate about. i was promoted after working there for not even a year and started making $22/hr. my mental health improved a lot during this time and i decided to give college a try. i'm on track to graduate next year (and i still work at the cafe on the side and love it!) my bf has been supportive through all of this. i know that even if i decided to work as a barista for the rest of my life he would still love me and find me so endlessly interesting. he loves that i love being a barista and asks me about it every day. my dad has a phd and my mom is a secretary and he still writes her love notes saying that he feels his life could never be complete without her. maybe she doesn't push him to be better academically but i know for a fact that if he didn't marry her that man would have never met his best friend at that university party/taken a spontaneous vacation to nova scotia that he still talks about to this day/gone on all of those 3 am car rides to the 24 hr grocery store to buy rosé and chicken parm ingredients/experienced some of those little wonders that make life worth living. idk man everyone has their own path and everyone has something special that they bring to the table in their own way. some of the coolest people i've ever met don't have a post-secondary education and are bakers/baristas/tree planters/artists etc. and they're some of the happiest people too. even though these jobs don't necessarily pay well these people somehow find ways to get by doing what they love and i really admire that. if you genuinely think that you will only be happy dating an academic then that is ok and you deserve to feel fulfilled in your relationship. and you're right it doesn't make sense to be with someone if you feel like you are on 2 completely different paths in life. but like. idk. if you feel like the only thing that your partner has to bring to the table is how academically motivated they are and how much they can elevate your academic career then like. idk. i guess i just feel like you might miss out i guess

this made me tear up omg thank you so much . yeah i definitely would be missing out :) i am going to see where things go and if things go well i will grow with her. thanks for writing all of this u r wonderful and def not imposing !!! i hope things with you and your bf go well ♡