#party when I'm literally a corpse I'm so tired.???

[chqnified]

Wow imagine working a 9-6 job and feeling tired and drained as a result.

[bianotbia]

— 𝐂𝐑𝐎𝐒𝐒 𝐌𝐘 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓 [𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐧]

˗ˏˋ you promised astarion to find a way of curing his vampirism and you'll do whatever it takes to accomplish it ˎˊ˗

⤷ a/n : This IS completely ooc and probably isn't canon at all, I'm just sad I can't play the game. I admit this could've been better but I did my best cause he's pretty and the lore is amazing <3 I hope astarion fans are kind to me :')

⤷ contains : gn! archfey warlock! reader x astarion, angst, suggestive, a bit of fluff, mentions of blood, bruises and scars, psychological abuse and trauma [wc: 4.5k]

⤷ taglist : @lemondrop-symphony / @i-literally-cant-with-this

⤷ now playing : a whole new world by zayn & zhavia ward

I can show you the world

Shining, shimmering, splendid

Tell me, princess, now when did

You last let your heart decide?

I can still hear the deafening silence of that fading morning, the sight of the corpses of my parents and brother laying so peacefully on their beds after succumbing to an ancient curse would haunt me forever. First came silence within cold halls and muted walls that listened but never replied, then came the voices and mutterings that made company to this lost soul that believed would never be happy again. As months went by, hunger grew along with the despair of meeting the same end as my family, cloaked by the shadows of an alley I longingly gazed at a fruits stand a few meters away “Why don’t you take one, child?” a voice echoed in my head “They come from the forest, from my long lost home, I can assure you they are property of no man” I look down at my wrists and the fresh red marks that still adorn them from my last theft. “Don’t worry child, leave it to me” I felt magic coursing through my veins and surrounding my body the air around me became hazy as I stumbled ahead, frightened eyes meeting the merchant’s ones who only looked away as if I was never really there. With a feast worthy of any king I indulged in fruits and breads brought to me by the wonders of magic “I see you enjoy your well deserved meal” it wasn’t a whisper anymore that talked to me “You're a smart child, I believe you already know I’m not coming from your inner self” I didn’t reply it, I never do, living in a half elvian and half human house provided me with knowledge of ancient beings and higher forces that are never meant to be fully trusted. “I’ve been observing you for a while and I might say we can be a great pair. What do you say about making a deal?” I shivered slightly and remembered the dim days that haunted me and the darker ones that laid ahead “Your unquestioning loyalty for anything you want…power, knowledge, protection…and even company”. The lively sounds of the streets seemed to die out and memories of that deafening silence flooded back “...Deal” a low chuckle echoed inside “Wonderful, I hope I can count on your loyalty from now on my dear child” unfortunately my stomach still rumbles and fear still desolates my soul “I always keep my promises”. Ancient fey runes burned across my tender flesh and just like that my broken soul pledged allegiance to something I so desperately wanted to rely on. I prayed for the gods to get back what I’d lost and they took everything I had left.

I can open your eyes

Take you wonder by wonder

Over, sideways and under

On a magic carpet ride

Among bugs and weird shadows, the party returned to the secluded camp after another tiring quest, blood dripping in the dirty ground as we all stumbled to safety “Look I really like you guys and all but honestly I prefered when I worked alone y’know, quiet as a shadow and not with a damn loud wizard, a githyanki and a flamboyant vampire” Lae’zel huffed and gripped my shoulder menacingly “I'll let it slide this time, sweety pie” with nervous laughter I lifted my arms in playful surrender “Alright, alright! It’s just a joke!”. Finally settled, we all arranged our spots and started healing the daily wounds and planning what would be our next step on this mission. The smell of food could already be felt through the camp, after getting myself clean and all patched up I look over to a certain vampire struggling to stitch a tiny cut on his forehead, “Need a hand there” he sighed and handed me a bottle of healing solution “A complete disaster it would be if I ever ended up with a scar on my face. How could I ever live knowing there is an horrendous cut on it?” I let out a giggle as I finished the stitches “It's really not that bad don't worry”. The camp grew silent as most of the party members fell into deep slumber “You know you could have asked anyone else to heal this with magic” Astarion shrugged and scoffed “Don’t really trust Gale and his big hands or Shadowheart with her suspicious stares” I hummed and gazed at the clear night sky “Did you really mean it when you said you prefer working alone as you used to?” the cicadas sang between the bushes and filled the sudden silence “Not really actually, I like your company” his amused laugh warmed my heart “Mine or these inconvenient companions” a smile grew on my lips “I'm really happy I met all of you. I just want to end this nightmare and go back to normal” the vampire scoffed “I don't think normal is suitable to describe our early lives…especially mine” I laid my head on his shoulder “Sometimes I forget you're a vampire” at least he doesn't fidget anymore when I come closer “Well I can't have this luxury” for a moment I recall hidden memories of a forgotten past “...What if I promised to find a way to heal your vampirism” he let out a tired sight “I would say you finally turned out insane” his crimson eyes might appear distant yet there's still hope calling from beyond this mask “I will make sure you have a happy ending Astarion, just like you deserve” he rises from where we were sitting “Well be my guest, let's see if you can keep your word child” a shiver went down my spine as I saw him drifting into the shadows “I always keep my promises”.

A whole new world

A new fantastic point of view

No one to tell us "no"

Or where to go

Or say we're only dreaming

Later that night, when our emotions dampened and tiredness got the best of us, everybody laid soundly on their mats, unfortunately there have been years already that I didn't go a single night without a bad dream or rather without an encounter with my patron. The whimsical scenario before me looked familiar, a lake of dark waters found ominously in the middle of a forest cloaked by the night, resembling a clear mirror reflecting the starry sky above. As always I'm standing in its middle, somewhere where I can't clearly see the borders or anything beyond. The water hits my waist while my bare chest remains exposed and vulnerable out of it, unlike he that stands before me, vines covering most of his naked body, his greenish skin scintillating under the crescent moon and antlers imposingly reaching for the sky – Oberon, the king of forests and father of all faeries – extended his clawed hand towards me. “Tell me child what afflicts your soul tonight, you seem more restless than usual” I slowly walked towards him “I need your help. I need to help him” he made a disapproving expression “Who? The vampire? Not my favorite creatures” “Please, I promised him I would at least try to search for a cure” Oberon clicked his tongue yet his gaze changed “You know that's not how things work child, vampirism is a curse for life…however I believe there's something you could try, but only if you are willing to give up a part of your own self for it” I looked defiantly at him “I did it once I believe I can do it again” his dark grin grew even larger “Oh a child in love, can anything be more sweet than that. Fair enough, the Crossed Fates is a simple ritual for lovers who are willing to change their own fates with the one of their other half” his words started to sink in and until realization hit, he hummed “However be aware that you need to be sure he’s truly in love with you or else who knows what might happen” his mocking expression didn't calm my uneasy heart, Oberon traced his fingers over my cheek and chuckled “I know very well what's the look of someone in love, it isn't about you I'm worried about…” my stomach twisted with his words “I made him a promise and I always keep my word” “Oh I'm sure about that” after vanishing in thin air I blink a few times and look around but he’s no longer there, the sky above was now starless adorned solely by a full blood moon, I looked down at my hands and saw them stained with a crimson thick liquid just like the one that now surrounded me while I got pulled back into unconsciousness, a lonesome scream ripping through my throat gets lost into the night.

A whole new world

A dazzling place I never knew

But when I'm way up here

It's crystal clear

That now I'm in a whole new world with you

Day after day we fought our enemies and got a little bit closer to our destiny yet the promise I did echoed louder each time I thought about Astarion. After days of adventures in hostile land we left the wilderness and finally arrived at the city of Baldur's Gate, a place I once called home, whose dirty streets brough memories of darker memories still imprinted on the corners of my stained mind. Before we continued our mission we decided to split up and recharge, for the worst is yet to come, everyone went on to do what they desired but not Astarion who seemed quite uneasy on this familiar ground “Unsolved business here?” he huffed “Too many to count, but I rather not think about them now” thinking about cheering him up a little bit I proposed “Would you accompany me to some drinks?” a smirk appeared on his handsome face “How can I say no to that” together we stepped into the restless pulse of the city. After a few drinks at the Elfsong Tavern I decided to show him a special place I used as a hideout for many years, through dark alleys and high roofs we finally reached the peak of a church's tower majestically reaching for the heavens above. Near the grandiose bells, was a small dusty chamber, now completely empty if not for a small chest on a dim lit corner, I picked its lock and found inside a forgotten treasure of my earlier years, tons of little relics, silver watches, golden rings, shiny daggers, dazzling through the dirt. Astarion observed the artifacts inside until his gaze landed on a certain necklace, a golden chain adorned with a shimmering emerald “What's this doing here?” I gazed at the jewelry on his hand then at him “I lied to you” the vampire furrowed his brows, his hands clenched around the stone and he took a deep breath “About what dear?” “We've already met before once…here in Baldur’s Gate” his face morphed into one of confusion and shock “We did? How? I think I would have remembered a pretty face like yours” the smile on his face didn't last long “I wasn’t so sure when we met at the beach but I knew you resembled someone. A few years ago I was at a tavern thinking about ways of completing a task for my patron when I saw a pale elf sitting nearby gazing with distant eyes at the dancing bodies” he gulped down “You locked eyes with me and came closer to where I was sitting, something told me you weren’t a normal elf. After whispering something on my ear the only thing I remember is feeling the necklace in my hand”. Astarions breathing seemed uneven and his gaze somewhere far away in time “Later that night I saw you leaving the tavern, you looked back at me a bit hesitant but just turned away” the quietness above the busy streets was comforting and the warm breeze somehow evoked those forgotten days “What a small world we live in, to ever wonder we would meet again in such circumstances'' he sadly smiled. “Would you ever live in Baldur's Gate again Astarion?” I asked “I believe there's far too many memories here which I rather let it rot in oblivion” sitting shoulder to shoulder with him I reached for his hand “I’m no foreign to the feelings you carry, I too know how it is to be lost…just a puppet in someone else's hands. But that doesn't mean you can’t find a new destiny for yourself” he gracefully intertwined our fingers and for once in so long the silence in my mind felt pleasant to my heart.

Unbelievable sights

Indescribable feeling

Soaring, tumbling, freewheeling

Through an endless diamond sky

The sky grew darker and darker, we all decided it was better to meet at the tavern and rent a few rooms for us to rest, at least among cheers and warm candle lights things didn’t feel as bad as they were, for a brief moment we could taste how it is to live a normal life, a life without whispers, dark marks or devil contracts. But he was still there, he still came to me every night, a curse and a blessing I’m fated to live till the end of my days. The cheerful laugher and loud chatting seem so distant until I feel Gale tapping on my shoulder and asking to have a word with me in private, when we found an isolated room he turned to me with a worried expression “Look I’m not gonna beat around the bush, you may not be a wizard or a sorcerer but you have great magic in your hands” I wonder where he’s trying to get and he continued “Honestly in all my years of knowledge I never heard or seen anything on recovering vampirism. So I don’t know what you're thinking about doing or what your patron promised you, it won’t work”. I opened my mouth but no words left “...How did you?” “Astarion seems a little drunk right now and is boasting to everyone how he likes you more than all of us, how you understand and cares for him, and that you promised to cure him” I let out a tired breath “Look everything is under control. I know what I'm doing” the wizard raised his hands in surrender “Alright but you know better than anyone that every magic has a price. Just promise me you won’t hurt yourself?” the whispers got louder in my ears as I motioned to leave “I don’t think I can promise you that…but sure I'll try” I left Gale behind and went to my room, unaware that behind the shadows of the night a certain vampire listened to our conversation.

A whole new world (Don't you dare close your eyes)

A hundred thousand things to see (Hold your breath, it gets better)

I'm like a shooting star

I've come so far

I can't go back to where I used to be

The evening got quieter but the thoughts inside didn’t cease, I prepared a bath hoping to scratch down all of the tiredness that weighed me down and the dirt accumulated within all those days in the wilderness. The voices in the hallways could still be heard yet they seemed far away, the stillness of the water reminded me a bit too much of my nightmares yet it still feels calming enough for a sore soul. The stars danced out of the window in the great sky above, so hypnotizing I didn’t even hear the door unlocking. “Oh what I would give up to share this bath with you darling” the familiar velvety voice pulled me back to reality “Good lord! Don't sneak on me like that” I shot a glare at him as he leaned at the door frame laughing “So…what do you say?” I muttered a consent and looked away as he slowly undressed and got into the tub. Even if we were a lot more intimate than when we started, I still wasn’t used to having someone so close to me “Don’t need to get all shy, little thief. I’m not mad about my stolen necklace” I leaned my head on the edge of the tub “That’s not really what I was thinking now” “Oh really then tell me what do you have in mind” I silenced a gasp took a breath and asked him “What would you like to do when this is all over?” he cocked his brow surprised “Huh not expecting that…well I can see myself in a splendid, enormous and bright mansion far away. Living my days in frivolous delight with someone to make me company” I can't help but let out a giggle “I'll pretend I believe that, so who would be that someone?” “Oh darling don't play oblivious, who else would I share my happy ending other than the one who promised it to me” I could feel his fingers caressing mine under the water “Must be nice living a quiet life…I’ll keep my word Astarion”. The elf had a sad smile on his face as we sat together in silence “Not that I was spying on you but I've heard your talk with Gale, so you did find a solution after all” “I could say so I guess, didn't expect you would tell everyone about it” “I might have gotten a tad excited. But about your conversation with the wizard, it's not something risky, is it?” “Don’t worry about it. I've done many rituals, it will go out fine” he hummed and I gazed at the moonlight again. “Do you love me?” Astarion widened his eyes with the sudden question, his mouth opened but didn't made a sound while I let out a nervous laugh “I’m sorry, I don't know where that came from, you don’t have to answer that… you should have seen your face tho” he anxiously furrowed his brows and averted his gaze “Well…If love means wanting to share your curses and blessings, your nightmares and dreams, the worst and best days of yours life, then perhaps…I do” now it was my turn to go speechless, he comes closer and carefully puts a strand of my hair behind my ear slowly leaning in, our lips barely touching each other like soft feathers of angels finally descending into desire. His hands wandered through my skin as our tongues moved in sync until we pulled apart breathless, he leaned back at the tub and I laid my head on his chest, slender fingers traveled along the runes on my skin while trailing the remaining cracks of a lost soul.

A whole new world

With new horizons to pursue

I'll chase them anywhere

There's time to spare

Let me share this whole new world with you

The veil of dreams fell as swiftly as a feather across the starless sky, the red moon seemed brighter than ever above the eerie waters that once again surrounded me. A little far ahead stood Oberon, with dark piercing eyes and the condescending smile that never left his lips “The big night is coming, are you ready for it child?” my stomach sank “I-I’m starting to…doubt if I should really do this” he mockingly hummed “Scared of him not loving you enough or perhaps are you finally realizing your dark destiny. Are you willing to go that far for him?” the whispers inside started to grow louder “A broken soul can’t heal another broken soul, one of them is alway bound to break a little more” the air in my lungs seemed to vanish “We still have a contract, you shouldn't get distracted by silly emotions. You know you’ll have to let him go after the ritual, why would he want a reminder of the past he so desperately wants to forget” a knot forms on my throat “Shut up!...please” tears travel down my face “I don’t want to lose him too…you’ll still be here right?” sharp claws traced my jaw and lifted my chin to look at his maddening irises “I won’t ever leave your side darling”. Once again he disapeared in thin air, under the red ominous waters I could feel palms climbing up my legs and gripping my torso, no sound left my mouth as I desperately tried to free myself from that strong grasp pulling me to dark oblivion. My heart felt like it would burst out off my chest, however I start to feel a tight grip on my wrists pinning me down on the bed as I slowly get back to my senses, only to see Astarion’s fangs dangerously nearing my neck, his touch besited when he noticed the scared look in my eyes “Pardon me darling…I believe tonight's occurrences made me a bit too excited” feeling him above me made my heart beat even faster making the grip he holds around my wrists tight but still letting go “You did seemed a bit restless, a nightmare perhaps?” I nodded “Nothing unusual about that…tomorrow at dawn we’ll leave to the forest to do the ritual” his brows raised in surprise but still he quietly assented “then I believe it’s better for me to leave the room, before any other accidents happen and so you can properly rest” he motioned to leave the bed when I reached for his bare torso, sliding my hands around his waist and softly pulling him back having my chest pressed to his back “I think I can handle you like this” feeling his stiff body slowly ease under my touch as we both fell in sweet slumber.

A whole new world

A new fantastic point of view

No one to tell us "no"

Or where to go

Or say we're only dreaming

The sun rose in a scintillating sky as we woke up at the break of dawn just as the city started its bustle and liveliness, together we made our way towards a secluded forest nearby where Oberon advised us to do the ritual. For a little while we walked in silence until Astarion thought it was too quiet “I would like to know what exactly is going to happen on this ritual, given the fact I’m practically putting my life on your hands here” I thought about it “Fair enough. There isn’t much mystery around it actually, we’ll get inside a lake and make a cut in our palms, after that we face each other with our fingers interlocked, I’ll recite an enchantment and when you least expect goodbye fangs” he seemed to expected something more “Huh quite simple, what about the whole thing of every magic has its price that Gale mentioned, what’s the price?” my throat went dry “Don’t worry I took care of that already”. It was a long way until we finally found the place mentioned, crooked trees and weavering shadows encircling an eerie lake so clear it could almost be considered a mirror, the only thing left now is to wait for the rise of the blood moon. The clock seemed to go backwards until the time finally came, I took Astarion’s hand and led him until the dark waters reached our waists “Are you ready?” I took a dagger out of my pocket “Would you let me have the honor, I might say I’m more experienced with sharp things” he took my hand into his and caressed my palm, before I could even realize the cut was made the warm liquid already dripped into the lake, he took a sharp breath and quickly made the same to his own hand. We positioned ourselves facing each other, raised our palms and intertwined our fingers, the ancient words of the incantation dripped from my tongue as I’ve known it forever until I let out a long breath. “I-I lied…about the price to pay” the grip on my hand tightened “What are you talking about? You seem to lie quite a lot for someone that claims to always keep their word, don’t you?” I looked around noticing a far too familiar shadow hidden behind the trees “Just enough for the right thing to happen. I’m sorry…it’s for your own good” when the final words of the ritual leave my lips the last thing I remember is our hands letting go of each other and our bodies falling into the mysterious water.

A whole new world (Every turn, a surprise)

With new horizons to pursue (Every moment red-letter)

I'll chase them anywhere

There's time to spare

Let me share this whole new world with you

The natural mirror reflected the downward red moon until a hand broke away from its stillness, Astarion surged from the depths of it gasping for air and coughing up the water in his lungs, as he tried to steady himself in the uneven ground below he finally sees, a bright reflection weavering through the water ondulations looking back at him, as he runs his hands through his own face a loud laugh escapes his mouth and echoes beyond the crooked trees “It worked, it worked! You did it! … darling?” the wide smile in his lips slowly faded out. As he looked around the only movement on the water was the waves around his own movements, back to the dark depths he desperately searched for the one he so much needed, anxious hands reaching for something familiar in this unanny place. After a few moments our fingertips finally meet each other as he quickly pulled my limp body out of the water, dragging it to the shallow part “No no no! What have you done?” brushing off the damped hair out of my face I felt a feverish haze spreading through all over my fles, unconsciously gripping on his shirt and coughing up the water I swallowed, he held me closely into his arms until his hands moved to my back and touched through the damped fabric of my shirt markings that are far too familiar to him, demonic imprints he was more than sure didn’t belong on my skin “Darling…what is this? What did you do?” the fear was clear on his voice as tears falled down my now crimson eyes and got lost in those hollow waters “I kept my promise…it was the only way” his face morphed into one of pain and disbelief finally seeing the fangs he was once used to having “No…No! This isn't fair…you know I hate when you play hero” I gazed at Astarion’s bright green irises and reached a finger to dry the tears that cascaded down his face “I always knew you had such pretty eyes” he rested his forehead on mine and whispered “Having you by my side was already the happiest ending I could ever wish for, my love”.

A whole new world (A whole new world)

That's where we'll be (That's where we'll be)

A thrilling chase (A wondrous place)

For you and me

the images aren't mine! all rights reserved to © bianotbia 2023. please do not claim, translate, copy or modify any of my works as your own. reblogs are appreciated! ₊˚⊹ ᰔ

[corrodedcoughin]

Omg thanks to your "Eddie throws himself a funeral party" post I literally cannot stop thinking about Stripper! Steve. (absolutely no pressure to do anything with this btw! I'm just aaaa! at your idea)

Like omg. Did Steve get into stripping bc he got cut off and disowned by his parents and desperately needed any job that would take him? Did he seek the job out bc he thought it'd be fun? Why should he be ashamed of exercising, entertaining, looking hot, dancing, and then getting paid to do it??? Fuck yeah

Side note the image of best friend Robin stealing a pair of Steves clean tearaway pants bc she wants to know what it's like to rip them off is very funny to me. She has them on over her jeans. She's had a glass or two of wine and is standing in the middle of Steve's living room awkwardly trying to rip off a pair of tearaway pants that are far too big for her

AHAHHA!!! Please come join me!!! There’s enough stripper Steve for everyone! Funny story Robin actually got the call handler job first through a college friend but obviously platonic soul mates cannot be separated so Steve applied for a job there too. He wasn’t fussy about position, just handed his CV in and hoped he’d get to keep working with Robin.

The employers took one look at Steve when he came into the office and told him he has hired. As a stripper. He took a moment to adjust but thought if it means he gets to work with Robin, he’d do it. (That’s what he tells people, the truth is the ego stroke at the immediate job offer was enough to sway him. He thought it would be a fun job and he was tired of retail).

And Robin plays with ALL the stock! She’s got horrendously ugly nipple tassels that she stuck to Steve’s chest and they both ended up almost crying trying to take them off him without waxing his chest (Robin tears might have been from laughter shhhh). She’s got a feather boa that she loves and wears in the office because she feels it gives her a ‘better phone voice’ nobody’s argued with her yet.

As soon as Steve finished any gig he’s on the phone to her, giving her the run down of any drama or funny stories. She gets a little worried when she doesn’t hear back after the Munson party, tries to call the person who booked and gets Eddie on the phone ‘hello, Eddie’s fun funeral, Gareth speaking’ and Robin thinks she must have the wrong number, she must have written something down wrong but all her records tell her she’s right???

‘Hi. Um…im sorry, this is going to sound so insensitive and im so sorry but…did you hire a male stripper for your event?’ Robin is smacking herself in the face as she says it. Knows she’s going to get in trouble from her manager

‘Sure is! Can’t spell funeral without fun! He’s a little busy with the man of the hour though’ she can hear laughter and loud music through the receiver. Steve is stripping at a funeral, for the dead guy?

‘Ummm I’m sorry but I don’t think company policy allows for stripping for corpses. I’m going to have to refund your booking. Please send Steve back’ Robin is way out of her depth. What the fuck is going on? How did she let this happen?

‘Ah no dude he’s alive, very alive by the looks of things. And sos your employee. I dont know who’s having a better time to be honest’ Gareth sounds sane but Robin doesn’t know if she can really make that call over the phone for a guy who books strippers for funerals where people aren’t dead.

[glitterypin]

STORY TIME!

I had a friend. We weren't very close but we were friends, not just acquaintances. For a few years I lived in a different city and whenever she was in town, we'd get coffee. One time she actually stayed at my place. We'd known each other for nearly seventeen years and had been friends for about twelve of these. Last year she came to my birthday party, had tremendous fun, thanked me for inviting her (I was like 'why the fuck wouldn't I invite you').

So, last December, it was her birthday and she decided to throw a small celebration at a restaurant not far from the place where I worked, on a Sunday. And she invited me.

But, that was around the same time my Big Clusterfuck Of A Job started getting really stressful and I was doing overtime like crazy and working during the weekends and I was basically an animated corpse who only came alive when placed in front of the editing suite, so when the time came, I didn't actually want to go. I had worked until Saturday and Sunday was going to be my one day off and I wanted to sit at home in my pyjamas and sleep and do nothing. I didn't want to socialize with strangers (her other friends) and I didn't want to essentially ride the same fucking bus to work on my one day off.

So, I knew I didn't want to go at all but I was still trying to persuade myself to just suck it up and go because I didn't want her to be disappointed. However, as I got home from work on Saturday, I did send her a message telling her I'm dead on my feet and I may not make it the next day. I said I'd try but there was a chance I wouldn't make it.

Long story short, she flew off the handle, started very aggressively insisting that if I truly wanted to go then I would make it, so if I didn't make it it's because I don't care about her and the rest is just excuses and she refused to take note of my feelings on the matter at all. My main argument was "I am dead tired, my job is kicking me in the balls and I need to fucking rest for one day because that's all I have" and her argument is "it's only once a year, I don't know what else to tell you".

And then she blocked me.

It was so fucking important to her that I attend her birthday that when I said I wasn't sure if I'd make it, she BLOCKED ME. Apparently, not going to her birthday dinner is the same level of harm to our friendship as BLOCKING ME. Mind you, we don't even have each other's phone number because we always made plans through messenger, so she blocked what was literally out only way of communication.

I was livid for a while but also somewhat relieved because if you're going to be one toxic, messy, tantruming child of a trainwreck, then, yes, please go be that somewhere far away from my life. So irrational and immature was her behaviour that I couldn't really find it in me to miss her afterwards and I was mostly angry that I ever fucking bothered with this person.

And then I moved on. This was eight months ago.

Half an hour ago, at 2 in the fucking morning, I got a text from her. She has unblocked me and she sent me a message that basically boils down to "hey, it wasn't a big deal, I just felt that you weren't up to hanging out with me, I hope you're doing well", smiley face.

EIGHT FUCKING MONTHS LATER

AT TWO IN THE MORNING

SHE TEXTS

AND SHE DOESN'T EVEN FUCKING APOLOGIZE?

instead she says that she felt I wasn't up to it? that it was somehow down to ME that she blocked me? because I didn't go to her fucking birthday dinner? (mind you, I haven't mentioned this so far but it's important to note that this woman is in her FORTIES. she's not twelve or anything.)

When God rained intelligence on the world, was she holding a fucking umbrella??

So, the big dilemma for this week is "should I deign to answer" and so far I think "better not" because I have a feeling my answer is going to be along the lines of "go fuck yourself, you self-centered twat" and that's not a nice thing to say at all...

[carrinth]

Carrinth's Justified Impressions of DA: Awakening (4/?)

The Actual Corpse Justice

*definitely spoilers*

The following is an incredibly rare excerpt from what remains of the last diary of Warden-Commander Marzel Amell. Preserved in starch.

-------------

... got an angry elf lady. Reminds me of Morrigan. I miss her so much I cry myself to sleep. Not as much as I miss my dog of course but like, loads more than say Alistair.

The stress is totally getting to me. I need something harder than elfroot but Oghren drank everything. Anyway, Varel is sending me somewhere called Blackmush or whatever. Maybe I can find someone to hook me up y'know? Hint hint.

------------

The diary goes on to meander for 10 pages...

------------

Holy Maker you guys. I found a guy. He's quite dead. Did he find some Good Stuff maybe? Anyways, I am Looking Respectfully. 👀

"No. No you aren't," the bushes say.

"Holy Maker!" I say back.

"Darkspawn!" Nathaniel says.

"Don't be silly," I tell him. "Twas but the bushes."

"Bushes don't talk, Commander,"

I roll my eyes at him. He hasn't SEEN the things I've seen. And I have SEEN THINGS.

The bushes suddenly grow darkspawn. Like fruits. Yikes!

"I am the First," Some Guy says. I glare. Because I'm on to him. He's calling first dibs. Well this is MY corpse dammit! Imma fight you for it!

Some Guy gives us the Heebie Jeebies. He starts talking about his mom and it's super awkward and we all cringe.

Kids, don't take free gifts from strangers. Especially if it's green.

Some Asshole Guy has ditched us in the Fade. NO. Maker NO not another Fade trip! I swear if I have to turn into a mouse again...

Wait. We found something. Someone?

🎵🎵*Oh Who Is She...?* 🎵

Interesting guy. I wonder if I can set him up with my cousin, Hawke. I mean he has no physical body but still... Anyway, Bro is leading some kind of party crashers into some lady's house? I think there will be booze? I really need a drink. I help Glowy Man. For the free booze.

----------

...

What happened last night? Dude where's my staff?

.....?

HOLY FLAMING MAKER'S BOWLS. Granny Wynne was right! You can party too hard that it would literally wake the dead!!!

"Who are you talking to?" Nathaniel interrupts. I ignore him because I have no witty comeback and my pride is easily bruised.

Corpse Justice asked us to help with Baroness Lady. I hope there's booze.

-------

There was no booze. I think she drank some Bad Stuff and is now experiencing explosive diarrhea. This is why we boil our water before drinking it, kids.

One of the first (and only) lessons I taught in the Circle was to say "No" to demonic possessions. Kids, this is your brain when possessed.

Demon was slain and there was some rejoicing. I pumped my fist but everyone just looked at me, tired. I lowered my arm awkwardly. Corpse Justice guy decided to join us because obviously we are the most amazing people he will ever meet. Team is finally complete. Group photo time!

P.S. CJ said I "seem to be a creature of good character" and honestly it's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.

P.S.S. We are BFF now.

[soldiermom1973]

I. Am. A. Fucking. Idiot.

I am, what... halfway? through Act 3 and ONLY JUST NOW figured out how to switch fucking spells around. JFC my next playthrough will be SO MUCH EASIER. Also, that means I reloaded that last fucking save for nothing. FML.

Anyhoo - I had to redo a bunch of stuff, including the fight in the park. Gale had See Invisibility which was fucking useless. I wound up casting Cloud of Daggers to get the inviso-guy to reveal himself. Google was no help - there's conflicting info about how exactly See Invisibility works. Some people are saying the invisible party has to succeed a saving throw and others were saying the seeing person has to succeed a throw. Regardless, it's messed up and it'd be cool if Larian would fix it.

Reloading the save also meant I had to redo that stupid cistern puzzle in the sewer again and listen to Orin tell me she has my damn druid again. Although hearing Karlach talk about Halsin being 'her' druid was nice. That might be a ship I didn't know I needed, though I'm not sure if it would work (I know at the end of the game she leaves to go back to the hells & I'm not sure Halsin would want to go along, especially since he's such a nomad).

Reloading also meant I got to do the astral boat scene again. I didn't notice before, but the orb's tendrils go up into Gale's face. It's really faint, but they're there.

Speaking of Halsin - I think my next playthrough will be as Gale & I'll romance Astarion so I can also get my hands on Halsin.

Can I also just say that I WILL NEVER GET TIRED OF WATCHING SCRATCH AND THE CUB PLAY IN CAMP??? Those two are too damn adorable.

Did anyone else notice Jaheira feeding/talking to a rat in camp?

Auntie Ethel is no more. I felt bad for Mayrina, though. I convinced her to let Connor go. I also hit up the cemetery. Didn't know I maybe shouldn't have let that girl try her hand at necromancy, now the people in the mortuary are pissed at me. Oh, well. Also hit up Karlach's parents' gravesites. That was sad.

I played this game literally all day and all I really wanted to do was get to Cazador's palace and free Astarion. I kept getting sidetracked with other quests and shit and now that I'm actually at the palace door, it's after midnight and I know damn well this thing will probably take me hours (and several reloads) to get through, so here is where I stop for the week. I'll pick it back up on Saturday.

On another note, I really wish there was a better way to sort the inventory. Like a search feature, maybe? And previewing dyes would be fantastic, too. I also decided that since I'm at level cap and my squad is pretty well kitted out, I'm about done looting corpses and stuff. Might take a peek here and there, but I don't need camp supplies, I have a ton of gold, and the gear is all good. It should honestly also speed up my playthrough a little.

I still have to take care of Shadowheart's quest and find The Stone Lord/do Jaheira's quest. I might do all that after I take care of Cazador. Part of me also wants to ruin Gortash's day so I can get Halsin back ASAP.

Oh, am I the only one who pictures those fucking mutant wasps from New Vegas whenever that vampire's name gets mentioned? He's probably just as annoying and hard to kill as they are. Might have to commission some fan art of him surrounded by a swarm of those fuckers.

Updates might slow down soon, too. I'll be back to working 2 jobs again and will be working 60+ hours each week, including most (if not all) Saturdays for the next several months, so I'm not sure how much BG3 gaming I'll get done.

Oh, and I'm not sure if it was in this post or someplace else where I said about my Tav being taller than Gale and I loved it when they kissed. I fucking love how she has to tilt her neck down for him...

I still hate how she looks with the half squid thing. I don't think I'll be doing that ever again. The only one of those extra powers I find myself using is Black Hole and I don't even use that one much.

My youngest got me BG3 for my birthday. I want to like this game so much... I hope I don't have the same problems with it like I did the witcher.

[coping-via-clint-eastwood]

4x12 - GSR fix-it fic

(A/N:  What the motherfuck- TUMBLR HAS A TEXT BLOCK LIMIT?!!!! UUUGGGHHH!!!! I guess this is gonna have to be in two parts. But, I guess...this whole thing is pushing 9000 words, so I'll split it 4500-4500. Yeah. I'm as tired as Gil now. I'm gonna go sleep with him. I was inspired to write this after watching that video.  Anyways, they're actually together in this one.  Aka when Gil FINALLY goes home, he can rest his forehead on Sara's and reassure himself that she's actually still okay, and that she's actually still right there, with him.  Because I crave this for them.  So, there are many and heavy contextual changes. Fyi, I'm not writing out every single piece of dialogue/action, hell no.  I'm just writing whatever's relevant to GSR. Oh and, warning - canon-typical ns/fw

{I'm sorry about the formatting but I would like to give} Special thanks to @addictedtostorytelling for...basically saving my ass with all the details of this fic. Thank you for answering my questions, no matter how inane, dumb, unnecessary, or worse. And of course @stokes-theorem got me out of a panic attack; it is much appreciated 🙏)

Gil walked through the house of the 419 of the night, having had to put protective coverings over his shoes so that he did not disturb any evidence he might accidentally step on. He had to keep his back to the wall and walk sideways as well. (The sound of his footsteps were adorable.) As he passed the spare bedroom, he noticed that the victim possessed a collection of butterfly-resembling trinkets, all displayed nicely on her shelf. He made it to the area of event at last, squatting down to take a closer look at the body.

His eyebrows jumped up in shock - the victim had a strong resemblance to Sara. For a few moments longer, he stared at his (secret) girlfriend's image, a dozen thoughts swirling around in his head but never aligning themselves. It was his unfailing sense of duty that allowed him to literally get his head upright and get back to his team, who was waiting outside. But when he opened the door, the very person in his line of sight was Sara; again he stared, this time at her actual self. Inside, there was a dead body, who looked so like her, but here she was, living, breathing and- turning her head to stare right back at him. But the one's gaze held such a different meaning from the other's.

Jim, who was past Sara in Grissom's line of sight, thought that he was the one the team leader wanted to see, so he stepped between the scientists. "Ready for us?"

"For now, no one enters this house except CSI."

[CUE THE INTRO]

Gil assigned Warrick to the car, but he assigned Sara to the perimeter, to which she shook her head in disbelief and questioned, "What? You just did a one hour walk-through. The perimeter cannot be a priority." On 'not', she shrugged and laughed wryly.

His gaze immediately turned beseeching. "I need you to work the outside. Catherine and I will be inside." He momentarily shifted his eyes in the direction of the door at the last bit but immediately looked back at her, his eyes even more pleading. Sara gave him an 'alright, fine' smile and went to do as he said.

Gil did not examine the car, but there was a fair chance that it would yield a fair amount of evidence. However, he had, as Sara remarked, gone over the perimeter, so he knew that Sara's scouring of it would bear no fruit. He deliberately did this; he wanted to dissociate Sara from the case as much as possible, in his own little way.

While Catherine went to interrogate the victim's friend, Gil took the opportunity to go back and stare the body for a bit longer.  He was (understandably) haunted that the 419 looked like the love of his life.

He was so lost in his thoughts that he did not hear Catherine walk in behind him; his head flinched to the side when she spoke, "One thing I can never get over with this job: anything can happen to anybody."

Gil clicked his tongue and responded, "That's why we're here," before going back to looking over the corpse.

Soon enough, Sara was let in a little more on the action when she had to crawl under the house and unscrew a pipe running from the bathroom to get the water that had been drained into it, as well as process the actual pipe.  However, Gil insisted that she was to return to the laboratory and test just those pieces of evidences as soon as she was done; his intent was that she would be occupied with something appertaining to the case but not in such a major capacity, thus satisfying her curiosity if only on a temporal basis.  Gil and Sara did not know it, but when she looked up into the pipe, Gil happened to be spraying luminol onto it on the other side.  (A/N:  Can I just take a moment to appreciate the cinematography here?  As well as the music <3)

The bugs helped the bug man out again; flies swarmed the dustbins that had pieces of corpse inside them.

After those were sent back to Al and David, Gil went back inside the house.  This time, he examined the victim's collection of synthetic butterflies.  He was turning over one that was blue, translucent, and had a base so that it could stand, a thoughtful frown on his forehead.  If Sara had been there to see him, she would have kissed it away.  He put the butterfly down and picked up a framed picture of Debbie.  With her arms straight up in the air and an open-mouthed smile that showed her top row of teeth, it was evident that she had been jubilant at the time of photography.  Gil shook his head; not because he pitied the loss of her joy, but because he was once again struck by her likeness to the greatest joy in his own life.  He tore his eyes away from the photo and looked at himself in the mirror, trying to collect himself.

But the adverse was achieved, because the bed was visible in the mirror, and he envisioned the victim sitting on it facing away from him, alive and well.  She then looked over her shoulder at him; the image was replaced with that of Sara.

Grissom clenched his jaw.  He stiffly tilted his head to one side, his gaze at himself hardening.  All in an reinforced effort to steel himself.

He was forcibly yanked out of his thoughts when his phone rang; his head flinched a little way in its direction while his eyes flickered down to it.  He picked it up and manage to announce in his normal voice, "Grissom."

"Hey!"  came the voice of the very woman who plagued him so, her voice cheery; she had dismissed any offence she had felt earlier from her mind and forgiven him, just being happy to hear from her man.

But her voice made him drop his mouth open in shock. Restraining the last of his resolve from flying out the window, he said, "Sara.  Uuuuhhh listen I'm in a bad area, I'll call you back."  He deliberately raised his voice a little to make his lie more believable.

Even though he could not see her, she gave a little nod; physical embodiment of her acknowledgment.  She responded by raising her voice just as he did when he next spoke.  "I got a skin tag off the bathroom drain pipe."

"Skin tag.  That's great.  Uh, give it to Greg."

"Yeah I did.  Hey do you want me to come over there and give you a hand?"

"No I'm-I'm-I'm fine," he stuttered, his free hand moving up then down again, as if he was physically dismissing (his emotions besides) her offer.  "I'll-i'll-i'll- uh...I'll talk to you back at the lab."  He immediately hung up after that.  He raised his head to glare at himself; he needed to force himself to push whatever emotions he had aside so that he could focus on the case.

As for Sara, she frowned in concern, but went on brushing what she put down as his typical eccentricity aside and went to help Warrick out with Michael Clark's car.  A third party would have enjoyed watching them work, especially with John M.  Keane's music.

After that, Sara and Warrick convened with Catherine in the break room to go over the course of the physical events of the murder.  Grissom joined remotely by holding his pager to his ear with one hand, while the break room's table had a speaker that his phone was tapped into; it was certainly much easier to communicate with Sara remotely and in a group where he could avoid speaking directly to her instead of communing in private where he literally had to face her.  Since Grissom was at the house, he walked through it himself in accordance with his team's narration.  When Sara spoke, he had to tilt his phone away from his ear, catching himself tripping again.  Since he was at the scene of the crime, he narrated how the deed was done.  As always, he had been envisioning the actual events, so it was difficult for him to picture such a thing happening Sara's likeness, but he pulled through; he did pause for extremely brief moments, and those could be put down perfectly as him taking time to think.

Sara, Catherine and Warrick finally went home after one and a half shifts.  As Sara approached the door to her and Gil's place, she could hear Hank scratching at it.  She smiled and opened the door. "Hey!" she called at the same time that Hank barked. Hank then stepped behind her and sniffed the air. "He's not here," Sara told him, gently pushing him inside with one hand and holding her kit with the other.  She sat on the couch and directed him to sit next to her.  She took her phone out of her pocket and showed it to him.  "We'll call him, huh?"  Hank had come to understand that that little slab of plastic with an area that would light up was something that humans used to communicate with each other.  There were frequent occasions when one of his humans was away, and the other would hold this object in between him and them.  Then, when the human pressed some things that made beeping sounds, there would be a certain tone for a while until the other human's voice could be heard from it; this was one such occasion.

Sometimes however, the other human's voice would not be heard.  In those cases, he and the human would just bark or speak into the slab by themselves.  After several hours, the slab would start up with a ringing sound, and when the human made a beep, the other human's voice could be heard.  He would always bark joyfully then and wag his tail.

So Hank smiled at Sara, tongue hanging out as he panted eagerly.  He watched and listened as she made the slab beep, and a tone followed.  Not too long after, the tone ended, and was replaced with a, "Grissom." He had had to turn away from the area of wall he was swabbing and take the phone out of his inner breast pocket.

Hank immediately started barking into the object, letting his human know that he was excited to hear from him and missed him.  Both humans giggled.  (At least Hank managed to cheer Gil up for a little bit.)  Sara absentmindedly ran her other hand down his ear as she waited for him to stop barking so that she could have her turn at speaking. The dog was aware of this, and let his mother have her turn in due time. "We miss you," she smiled.

He sounded forlorn as he answered, "I know... I miss you too...but I have to finish this." He was frowning sadly, and his shoulders were slumped. Sara thought that he was sad because he regretted not being able to come home to her. While this was true, he had another reason: that he had to deal with...this. And it was not that he had to deal with it; it was something that he had taken upon himself to. All he wanted was to protect his Sara, even if it meant hiding (fortunately minor) details of the case from her, and foregoing sleep altogether.

"Why not come home? Take a break. And you can continue tomorrow," she tried to coax him.

He shook his head even though she could not see him. "No. You go ahead without me," he said woefully.

She frowned in concern. "We gotta stop doing this." She was referring to the fact that they often stayed up for the whole day to work on cases instead of getting sleep.

"I know, I know," he sighed, his free hand squeezing his temples. "I promise I'll get more sleep after this case, okay?"

There was a period of silence when Sara nodded. "Okay," she said genially.

She heard her boyfriend huff a sigh; he dipped his head defeatedly when he did that. "Look, I-i-i'm sorry," he stuttered for the second phone call from her in a row.

She shook her head, "Don't be. It's alright. I'm guilty of the same thing." As well as she could hear that he was in dire need of sleep, she would not force him to since he did not want to. Plus, there was no way she could get Gil to come home without people questioning as to how she managed to get through to the stubborn workaholic; suspicion would be raised as to the true extent of their relationship.  He was at a loss as to what to say.  So, she rescued him as usual, "I'll see you back at the lab?"

He felt as if there were chains around his body that had just been loosened. Finally, something he could answer honestly! He felt as if he was ripping them off as he answered, "I don't think so. I still have to process the carpet-"

"The carpet?! Gil, that thing runs over every inch of floor!!!" Hank, who had been contently resting his head on Sara's lap, jerked his head up at the sudden interjection.

"I know," he groaned slightly, the vocalisation coming more naturally now that he was free. The boxer lay his head back down. "It has to be done though."

She nodded before saying, "I know. Don't run yourself into the ground, okay? I mean," here he could hear her snicker, "no more than you usually do."

For the first time in over a day, he smiled. A small but genuine smile that made the corners of his storm blue eyes crinkle endearingly; if Sara was there to see it, she would have kissed him. "I'll try not to." And, ah, how nice - she could hear the amusement in his voice.

"Take care of yourself. Remember to eat at least. I love you."

"I'll try. I love you too. I love you Hank!" His head jerked up again and enthusiastic barking ensued. The humans followed suit with more giggling before they hung up. With his spirits lifted anew from his conversation with Sara, he pocketed his phone and got back to work with a little more energy than he had before.

As for Sara, she put a hand on Hank's head and said, "Well boy, let's go and eat some breakfast huh?"  He gave a cheery bark and jumped off the couch.  Sara closed and locked the door, carried her kit and followed him down the stairs.  She hurried to put her kit away and then popped back to the kitchen to set out Hank's food, and then get herself food. They ate, went for a walk, and returned. Sara took a shower, and put on Gil's shirt after. When it came time for bed, Sara asked Hank to lie on the bed with her, and cuddled him. "Since Gil isn't here, I'll hold you tonight," she smiled. He seemed to understand as he nuzzled her face and lay his head back down.

A little after the phone call, Gil did go and eat. He shed himself of his coveralls, put them in his car, got in himself, and drove to the nearest diner. He ate there and then took away a second meal for his lunch, which he ate at the appropriate time. Sara went to the laboratory at nine o' clock that night, wanting to do all she could to help her boyfriend. She went to check on Warrick's progress.  Upon finding him sifting through the contents of the victim's vacuum cleaner with a pair of tweezers and coughing profusely, she teased, "He-he-heyyy. Blacklung."

"Ah...I've been sifting through this trash for about six hours." That meant that he had been working for the entirety of the swing shift. "You come here to rescue me or make fun of me?" the poor man retorted.

"I am just looking, relax." She pointed to one of the petri dishes Warrick had set out to sort the evidence. "What are these white fibres here?"

"They must be from the spare bedroom, because all the other carpets are green."

Sara looked at the plan drawing of the house. "Spare bedroom wasn't on his entrance or exit path."

"Look, all I know is that they were near the top of the bag, so it must've been one of the last things he vacuumed." Sara gave small nods of acknowledgment.

"I did manage to find this butterfly pendant..." Warrick moved his tweezers to the petri dish where it was and picked it up, "...with some white fibres in it. Looks like it's from a necklace, or a bracelet. And it has this link, which has snapped so I'm thinking...sign of struggle?" He straightened up a little bit to raise his point.

"Killer was in that spare bedroom."

Gil's panicky obsessiveness was certainly affecting a fair few of his teammates. Catherine went to the scene of the crime at the same time as Sara returned to the laboratory.  She knew that Gil was very stressed out about the victim looking so much like their dear friend, and so she wanted to help him.

(Poor Gil...he did not realise that when he worried, his team family worried too and would do whatever they could for him; he did not realise that they could love him as much as he loved them.  He had such heavy doubt about his own lovability, so much so that he even almost rejected Sara when she first asked him out.)

Catherine walked in to see Gil processing the carpet (to the amazing soundtrack). During the conference, he had mentioned that he had processed the carpet on the threshold of the bathroom, and at present he was processing the area of carpet just beyond that.  Her work-wife face on, she said to him, "Don't tell me you never went home."

Gil looked up at her, one hand still on the carpet and the other holding his filter paper. "Okay." Since she did not want to hear anything to that effect, he decided to water it down by saying, "I just got started in here.  I haven't even got into any of the rooms yet."

"You know you lose your edge after sixteen hours, and you're into your third shift. She brought her forearms out to her sides. "I mean I'm all for overtime but, this is just plain greedy."

He shook his head tiredly before reassuring her, "My knees can't take this anymore." As fuelled as he was from his food, it still physically hurt to remain on one's knees for an extended period of time.

"Have you eaten anything?"

"Yes."

"Ah," she nodded approvingly.  "Then, how about a shower?"  Gil shook his head.  Catherine raised an eyebrow in turn.  At Gil's look of horror, she clarified, "I mean at your place.  You need to go home."

"As soon as we find some evidence, I promise."

"With fresh eyes you won't miss it."

Her work-husband groaned as he stood up, his knees creaking.  "Just talk it through with me will ya?  What do we know?"

Catherine's eyes shifted to the side in thought.  "Alright."  She inhaled deeply before continuing, "The bathroom is where things got started. Candles, oils...steam shower...cleaned up, oiled up...sexed up."

"Let's go back to the bedroom," Gil voiced, moving his head a little way in the direction of the bedroom. They got their UV-protective goggles out of their kits, with Catherine taking the torchlight as well.  Cath shone the light on the topmost bedsheet, but nothing showed up under the fluorescence. "No, nothing on this sheet," Gil noted. He lifted that sheet to expose the one underneath, to yield the same result; he gently cocked his head to one side in acknowledgement (which was cute).

"She changed her sheets for her date; I would," Catherine remarked.

Since there was nothing to be found on the top surface of the bed, Gil let his gaze wander to the side of the bed. A ring embedded into the mattress caught his eye with a loop red cloth threaded through it with the rest stuffed under the mattress caught his eye; this time his head jerked a little to the side in vigilance. He squatted down and pulled it out, passing hand over hand.  When it was completely free and he could see what it was, he transferred it to one hand so that he could take off his goggles with the other.  He then looked up at his colleague with an uncomfortable expression and called, "Hey Cath..." When she looked at him, he held the thing up as if he was holding a dead rat and continued, "...got silk?"  His eyes shifted to the object as he asked that.  What he meant by that was if there was an identical finding on her side.

She looked down at her side of the mattress, and opened her mouth at the discovery and looked back at him.  Gil kept an inquiring gaze on her and took the opportunity to stand up.  She bent to her side while reaching an arm down and fished the cloth out.  "Why yes I do."  Gil looked back at the one in his own hand and shook it to see if anything would fall out; he was still disconcerted and frowning though.  His unease was turned into scepticism when Catherine said, "Iiii don't mean to embarrass you but um...some guys need leverage," as she stepped towards the foot of the bed and removed the sheets to uncover the barrier.

"They do?"  He was frowning a little bit harder; Sara certainly never complained.

Grinning in the hopes of finding something, Catherine gave a nod before saying, "I'll dust for prints."

While she did that, Gil's phone rang again.  He took his phone out from the same place he had when Sara called.  "Grissom."  He stuffed the hand not holding his phone comfortably into his pocket.

"It's Warrick.  I have somethin' for you - I found a butterfly link.  With some white fibres in it."

Grissom started walking to the other bedroom.  "Butterfly where?"

"In the vacuum bag.  You check all the rooms?"

"Lemme look again, and I'll get back to you."

"Alright." Grissom had reached the spare bedroom by then, so he put his phone away and got up to the shelf where the victim's butterfly collection was, a smile gracing his face at the sight of insects. He shone his (regular) torchlight on the contents of the shelf. When came across some more photos of Debbie, he drew himself back slightly, but quickly tore his gaze away from them; this was not the time to dwell on his feelings. His gaze averted to a blue jewellery box next to them, decorated with even more images of butterflies. He opened it; inside, there was an assortment of accessories, all butterfly-themed. He carefully used a finger to move them about, pushing them aside to see if there were any broken-off pieces. He did find one near the top right of the box.

In the meantime, Catherine had successfully made a print show up.  She tape-lifted it with a triumphant smile and proudly brought it to show Grissom.  "Hang one.  Toe print.  I'll have Sara compare it against both victims."

"Good."  Sara was the only unoccupied person.  "Warrick found a butterfly charm in the vacuum bag...I think I just found a piece from the same chain in this box."  He pointed to it.

"Butterfly huh?"  Catherine mused, her eyes moving to look over the rest of the trinkets.

"She had a collection." He seemed quite happy to announce that, and it was no wonder why.

"Gifts?  From her...gentleman callers?"

"Maybe the killer was taking his gift back.  As in, leave no trace.  Maybe he finally ran out of patience and got sloppy."  At the last sentence, his voice deepened, as if he was challenging the unseen and unknown perpetrator.  Upon shining his torch on the shelf below, he found a strand of hair.  Short and white, as would come from an elderly man.  He squatted, with Catherine following suit, and picked it up with his tweezers.  "And this is why I didn't leave."  His voice was soft with excitement and victory. Catherine left to bring the hair and toe print back to the laboratory, giving the print to Sara and the hair to Greg. Gil got back to Warrick and informed him of the matching butterfly.

Sara went to take the lower ten cards of both victims. Having finally gotten the chance to look at Debbie, she moved the swivel chair she was sitting on to draw herself up beside the victim's face. She stared down at it.  And suddenly, she understood.  She understood Gil's skittishness, understood why he had been reluctant to let her in on the case.  And she was, of course, haunted; it could very well have been her on Al's slab.  She glanced about, not knowing what to think; she could not articulate her emotions even in her own head. Eventually, they settled on one person: Gil. Gil, her protector; the person who had been 'protecting' her from this case at any rate.  She would speak to him to clear her head; she could always talk to him, and he would never turn her away. Well...he used to. But that was when his feelings towards her were even more of a mess than they currently were. He had progressed a lot with her help.

With that temporary comfort, she finished up and went to run the prints through AFIS. That took several hours. By the time that day shift roller around, both Debbie Marlin and Michael Clark were ruled out.  She then went to find Gil.  Or Catherine; whichever she found first. She went to the shift supervisor's office; nobody was there. And nobody was in the assistant shift supervisor's office either. But after some wandering around, she found Catherine in the locker room, sitting on a bench and changing her shoes. "Hey," Sara called, trying to seem cheery, "you seen Grissom?"

"He's still at the crime scene," Catherine responded, glancing at her as she did.

Sara nodded to signify her acknowledgment before reporting, "I eliminated both victims from the print you pulled off the bed."

"Well we know she was fishing off the company pier..." Sara responded with a look and a nod. "You uh, seen Debbie?" Catherine looked at her properly, wanting to gauge her reaction.

"Yeah," she said laconically, not wanting to give anything away.

"And?" Catherine enquired.

"Yeah I compared her...toe prints," she avoided still, her expression hardening.

Seeing as that would lead nowhere, Catherine decided to comment, "If I didn't know better I'd think that it was you on that table."

"I didn't really...look at her face," Sara denied. Noticing Sara seemed sad somehow, Catherine relented and just gave her a knowing look. Sara let her face fall, and allowed herself to sound as pleading as she really was when she asked, "If you see Grissom will you tell him?" Catherine nodded sincerely. Sara just walked off after that. The assistant shift supervisor convened with Jim and they went to Desert Palm print samples.  They did find a match; Dr.  Tripton.  Catherine phoned Gil and informed him of it.

[lemondoddle]

Ok, so! For the fmk alt (and I'm gonna make it podcast themed cause ofc i would)! 1 - Elias, Simon Fairchild, Annabelle Cane; 3 - Juno, Rita, Vespa ; 4 - Dr Bright, Caleb, Chloe ; 5 - Sir Damien, Sir Angelo, Talfryn ; 7 - Eiffel, Minkowski, Lovelace!

omg julia 🥺🥺🥺🥺tysm

1) stab, shoot or drown - Elias, Simon Fairchild, Annabelle Cane

ohohohh tricky! i dont think i can drown simon on account of him being a vast avatar and he would probably just :3 at me from under the water, so while i think it would theatrically satisfying to shoot elias i think ill shoot simon, also because the idea of holding elias under the water of some grimy bathtub in a seedy motel while his suit and combover get ruined as he thrashes sounds very gratifying, so drown elias! that just leaves stabbing annabelle which i think i could do in like a really homoerotic way where we’re inches apart from each other making eye contact and its like in movies where the camera shot is just face and chest and you just see her flinch and stumble back and it pans down to the stab wound in her stomach yknow?

3) fight aliens with, fight zombies with, fight capitalism with- Juno, Rita, Vespa

for sure fight aliens with juno, as he has prior experience from dealing with miasma. fight zombies with vespa because shes a trained assassin and the more i think about zombies the easier i think it is to fight them bc theyre literally decayed corpses they are so fragile which is like child’s play for vespa probably and i might even get some zombies down and she’d be like good job and id be like thank u ///////. and DEFINITELY fight capitalism with rita she’s like the best hacker in the universe she’d cancel all student debt and redistribute the 1%’s wealth to everyone in like 15 minutes and we’d have a wonderful conversation while she does it

4) write a book with, read a book to, hit with a book- Dr bright, Caleb, Chloe

oh no im so down for two of these but i cant hit any of them with a book i care them!! if i had to i guess i would VERY LIGHTLY hit caleb with a book on like the arm bc we were probably goofing around and i had a book in hand. i would however totally write a book with chloe that would be so fucking tight because my biggest problem with writing is that i have all these thoughts but i never know how to phrase them and having someone that could read my thoughts would be a godsend. lastly, id read a book to dr bright because that woman just needs to take a long moment and fucking Relax for once, let her lay down while i read something nice and soothing because she deserves it!! 

5) go on a six hour road trip with (no car radio, you choose who drives), sit next to on a six hour plane flight, sit across from on a six hour train journey- Sir Damien, Sir Angelo, Talfryn

definitely go on a 6 hour road trip with sir angelo, for both my entertainment and for the sake of the plane and train passengers because he is kinda real loud. i guess i’ll probably have to drive considering cars dont exist in the second citadel but either way having him in the car would be a hoot and he would keep me very entertained by telling me of his heroic adventures the whole time. the plane one is a bit of a toss-up between tal and damien because theyre both just so nervous and probably wouldnt take well to being on a plane but i think ill go with sitting on a 6 hour plane ride with sir damien, he’ll ask Saint Damien to bless the flight and get himself worked up and rambling every time there’s slight turbulence but its okay ill hold his hand and reassure him and let him lean on me to nap after tiring himself out from worrying. he’d also probably go “ha HA! thank you Saint Damien!!” after the plane lands and i think thats real neat. now i get to sit across talfryn on a 6 hour train ride which i think he still might be a little uncomfortable in the beginning, but i’ll ask him about the plants and ecosystems that pass outside the window and listen to him infodump about that and make for a pleasant lil trip  

7) go to a wedding with, go to a party with, go to a museum with- Eiffel, Minkowski, Lovelace

ooooh i would Love to go to a wedding with lovelace as my date plus one, the actual wedding would be fine and she’d give me a lovingly teasing look when i cry because im a sappy crybaby bitch and when the bride throws the bouqet she’d catch it and give me a wink and we wouldnt even be able to go to the afterparty bc id faint right then and there. go to a party with eiffel bc he’d probably carry the conversations with people and wouldnt mind that i’djust kinda trail behind him to whole time and we’d probably just end up sitting together somewhere chatting bc while i very much adore him he’s not as suave and cool as he thinks he is but that’s okay he’d probably suggest leaving the party via obscure dated reference and we’d go get pizza and drive down the road at night windows down music blasting!. and defs go to a museum with Minkowski, we’d hold hands and id get to gush about the art pieces and she’d get to gush about history artifacts bc i think she’d be really interested in that 

[sincerelymissatomicbomb]

Thank you so much for the Cu stories, I found them very satisfyingly amusing. :D I thought of another one I'd love! "I'm going to kill you, and then I'm going to kiss you agai- kill. Kill you again... Crap." With Diarturia. :3

1. I apologize greatly for such a late reply; I had a midterm yesterday I’m 90% sure I failed

2. I also had trouble coming up with a theme but I got it and I hope you like it!

Without further ado, I present to you:

I Messed Up…Maybe

  The afternoon sun burned hisface, heating his shoulders and making him lethargic; there was alwayssomething about the intense sun that made him tired and sleepy. Though, whenhis eyes fell upon the high stone walls of the city of Camelot, he heaved inrelief. He had finally arrived, and he was very much looking forward to histime in court.

  As was common for any young man,Diarmuid wanted to be a knight and he was thisclose to his dream. The king of Camelot had been looking for new recruits andwith Diarmuid’s Irish Nobility, his father suggested that he try to enter sucha prestigious band of knights. And so, after a long journey, he found himselfin the Kingdom of Camelot.

  The city was bustling with theeveryday life of the civilians. Camelot was amidst a festival; one of the manythey held in the warm summer days. The streets were made of stone bricks andpeople crowded it, flower garlands hanging from the houses and lining thestreets, the jolly music of bands in pubs danced gingerly above the people.Diarmuid stood in awe, sure he hadseen his fair share of festivals in Ireland, but when you see a foreign city inthe middle of a party, it always looks more alluring. There were vendors inevery corner, selling fruits and flowers and other goods that would catch hisattention.

  The stare of a woman caught his eyeand he pulled his hood lower over his face and hiding himself from thelingering eyes of some women. Weaving through the sea of people, he tried tomake his way towards the festival grounds which were set to be North of thecastle. He was buzzing with excitement of meeting knights and otherknights-to-be, what more could be expected from a sixteen-year-old boy.

  He was burning up in his hoodedcape, but he dared not remove it for fear of his curse…well, cursing him. Hishoney eyes wandered and landed right upon the huge castle that stood proudly tohis left, he could only catch a small glimpse of the courtyard, and immediatelyhe deemed it to be gorgeous.

  Diarmuid did not waste a singlesecond more on staring at what he hoped would be his residence one day and hescurried along to the festival grounds where he knew he could find the arena.As he approached the arena, however, the crowd became thicker and he couldbarely weave himself through. It wasn’t a surprise when his path deviated andinstead of exiting near the arena, he found himself in a vast field whichlooked to be further to the right of the arena.

  There were a few people crowdedabout in a circle right in the middle of the field. In the center of the crowd,a tiny person and a tall man rounded one another. They looked to be knights forthe swords they held and how the light reflected off their armour, Diarmuid’seyes immediately widened. A smile drew on his lips and he walked towards them,quickening his step now that there was barely anybody around. Diarmuid did notquestion as to why the field was empty other than the group of knights, nor didhe question why they were so silent.

  As he reached the circle ofknights, he gasped at the fight that was held in the middle. He had assumed bynow, as he had heard the clashing of swords, but what had surprised him wasthat one of the sword-wielders was a young girl which looked to be no olderthan the age of fifteen, as she looked to be only about a year younger thanhimself.

  Diarmuid could admit to himselfthat it was love at first sight—or maybe first swing (of a sword). She was clearly skilled and talented in the art ofSwordsmanship. She had a powerful arm and an ever so graceful footwork, itlooked to be as if she were dancing or walking upon a lake, causing onlyripples on the water.

  Her cheeks were burning red asthe heat of the sun seemed to exhaust her, but she was having no issues. Sweattrickled down from her light brown brow and her green eyes were filled withdetermination and adrenaline. She wore chainmail and brown boots to her knees,he wondered how she was not fainting from heat exhaustion. Her hair hadprobably been a neat bun once upon a time, but now it was a mess of goldenstrands. Some of her locks were held back in the bun while some were formingmountains upon her head and others were completely loose.

  He had been paying a little toomuch attention to her for he had not noticed when she knocked her opponent tothe floor and held her sword inches from his face. Her lips never once crackeda smile, not even for a single second to admire her own victory, but she gainedthe applause and praise of her comrades.

  She took a few quick breathsbefore evening them out and rolling her neck. Plunging her sword unto thegrass, she offered a hand out to her opponent and he took it with a tired smileon his face. With that simple action, he was sold. She might have been a mess;sweaty and completely unladylike but he was sure she had won his heart.

  “Who are you?” His heart skippeda beat when her eyes landed on him. Her voice was stern and monotone, much tooold for a young woman, but he found it nice.

  The men around him cleared theway and he was left to stand before her. “I…”

  She stared at him, burning holes inhim.

“I… My name is Diarmuid.”

  She picked her sword back up,taking a handkerchief from one of the men and wiping her forehead with it. “Whyare you in my knights’ field? Have you come looking for something?”

  “Well, no, erm, not exactly. I got lost in the crowdand…I saw you from the hill. You were amazing.”

  She narrowed her gaze on him andtook a step closer; she was easily an entire foot shorter than him. “Take thathood off, are you not boiling in it?” It was a demand.

  “I cannot…” His fear had beenforgotten but now it was a grave reality.

  She stepped closer to him. “Dotake it off.” He could not bring himself to disobey her a second time and so hedid as asked.

  Unwillingly, he removed his hoodand straightened his posture. He gulped, expecting some sort of reaction fromher.

  She looked him up and down. “Yourname sounds Irish.” There was nothing that told him she had fallen in love withhim, and so he eased. He was confused, nonetheless.

  Diarmuid nodded. “It is. I amIrish.”

  “How does an Irishman findhimself in Camelot?”

  He cleared his throat. “I wish tobecome a knight.”

  The men burst into lively chatterand the young girl lifted a brow. “A knight?” She asked.

  “Yes…I came because I wanted tobecome a knight here.”

  “A duel!” One of her fellowknight’s shouted and thus began a chant from the circle of knights as if theywere amidst a cult. Diarmuid was pushed into its core along with the youngwoman. “A duel! A duel! A duel!”

  The woman blinked. “What say you?”

  Diarmuid looked around, catchingthe glances of all the excited men. He felt pressured, “If the lady so wishes.”The knights cooed at this.

  The blonde lifted her sword. “Myname is Arturia,” she introduced herself as was the rule of Chivalry. He washanded a sword and they rounded one another as he removed his cloak to allowhim ease.

  Arturia was the first to make amove, she pushed her sword forward and he dodged it. Her attacks were bold andconfident; he admired that greatly.

  They sparred, throwing attacksand defending themselves, but Diarmuid would admit she was much more skilled thanhim. She was at another level of swordsmanship. He would argue, however, thatit was due to the fact that he was using a sword and was not dual-wielding hisspears. He felt comfortable in spears as opposed to swords, but alas, this was a sword fight.

  Her movements were swift, and hecouldn’t help but admire her demeanour.

  “Keep your sword up,” she nagged.And with that came the vast amount of criticism. “Your footwork is sloppy.”

  He huffed.

  “No need to hold back, I can beatyou fair and square.”

  Diarmuid was knocked to theground by her attacks.

“Be more attentive.”

  He stood, not stopping to dusthimself as she already had prepared another attack.

  “All muscle and no skill.” Her lipswere stretched into a slight frown, brows knitted, and eyes filled withdetermination. “You surely need more polishing.”

  He never once responded to hercritiques, and they continued to pour out and with every insult came the gaspsand coos of the circling knights. The hilt of her sword hit him right acrossthe face and he tumbled to the floor.

  Not only was his lip busted buthis pride was also bruised. She had quite literally pounded him to the dust.

  Her eyebrow rose as she analyzed him.“You expect to become a knight with such sloppy practice?”

  He grimaced. “Fight me,” he spat, blood dripping fromhis lip.

  “I did, and I won.” Arturia lifted her sword and pointed it at him. “Iwould have never guessed that an Irishman was ever so easy to beat…even for a little girl.”

  He looked past how appealing shelooked and glared daggers at her. “Wait until I get my spears; I am going tokill you, and then I am going to kiss you agai—” The realization hit him like awave and his cheeks burned redder, clearly not a factor of such a spar. “Kill,” he corrected but it was too latefor everyone had heard him clearly amidst his nearly rageful speech. “Kill youagain…” Diarmuid shut his eyes in embarrassment and prayed the earth wouldopen up just to swallow him whole. “Crap,“he growled in defeat while everyone burst out in laughter.

  Arturia too tried to hide hersmile. “I would suggest that the kissing part should come before the killingpart as…well…it would be highlyinappropriate to kiss a corpse. In my opinion, at least.”

  Diarmuid looked up at her, whichhad nearly been impossible. The smile on her face, once he saw it spill forth,eased him greatly. His cheeks were still red, his blush reaching the tips ofhis ears.

  “We could arrange a rematch for whenyou get your spears.” She gave him a wink before reaching a hand out towardshim. “Though, I am certain you will not be able to kill me.”

  He took her hand and she helpedhim to his feet.

  She could tell he was shrinkingunder her gaze. “I would further suggest that you not try to kill an heir tothe Throne of Camelot; that will surely seal your fate. A kiss, however, shouldnot be an issue.”

  He thought that he would faint,and he really wanted to be stabbed right then and there. “I—I am very sorry. Icannot apologize—”

  Pulling him down, she landed akiss on his cheek and everyone gasped. “I hope that satisfies you,” she mumbledbefore turning to leave. Never once did she seem embarrassed or to shy away;grace and poise appeared to be all she knew.

  Diarmuid knew, in that verysecond, that he had fallen for her. Hard.

[popetrivia]

The Heat of Rome

And I mean literally. I thought about this when the temperatures finally rose in our neck of the woods. I'm not a big fan of sweltering heat and neither were several popes who lived in Rome during the summer before the invention of electricity and cooling devices. I remembered that I noticed the several mentions of Roman summer heat in the John Julius Norwich book 'The Popes'. I love this book and not in the least for the way he wrote it. It's even kind of cheeky now and again ;-).

Not only the Popes suffered from the heat and fled to palaces in cooler places. Roman summer was a notorious enemy of several armies. For instance Frederick Barbarossa's army fell in 1167 in one week. Rapidly following on his earlier triumph, heavy rain began to fall, followed by a still and oppressive heat on which pestilence erupted. Within a matter of days it was no longer possible to bury all the dead and the rising piles of corpses, swollen and decomposing in the merciless heat of a Roman August, made their own awful contribution to the sickness and the horror.

Innocent III (1198-1216) loathed the Roman summer and tried to avoid it when he could. In 1202 however he couldn't escape it. The sun was murderous, the flies an additional torture. So much so that no one in the papal party tried to venture to a nearby lake to cool down because it took too much effort. Innocent did though and splashed the cool water on his face. This bit of trivia is especially nice and gives a little more insight in this pope under which leadership the medieval papacy rose to extraordinary heights.

However when Innocent died, his body was stolen from the house in which he had died. His body was found naked and rapidly decomposing in the summer heat. The disrespectful burial of one of the greatest medieval popes was later rectified by Leo XIII at the end of the 19th century. His bones returned to the Lateran in a suitcase of a priest, travelling by rail.

In 1691 Alexander VIII (1689–91) died. The ensuing conclave lasted 5 months, the longest since 1305. It would have lasted longer had it not been for the summer heat, which was exceptional even for Roman standards, which raised the temperature in the Sistine Chapel to incredible heights.

Nowadays the Roman summer temperatures are still noteworthy. A quick Google search led me to: 'Honestly? Rome's climate in summer is relentlessly hot. Most people who live and work in the city get out as fast as they can when summer comes, and head for the coast. Temperatures can reach as high as 45° C, 113°F, and there is often little or no breeze. It's hot, it's sweaty and it's very, very tiring'. The Popes weren't nagging it seems. Luckily for them airconditioning is now an option so they are much more comfortable in their long robes during Roman summer heat.

While writing this I listened to Röyskopp - The Inevitable End. No association with this entry, just very nice. Especially 'Something in My Heart'

[roadara23]

Couldn't sleep last night, (haven't actually gotten rest in I can't remember how long, so I'm just really dragging this week), kept hearing noises in my apartment, (which didn't help. I doubt playing 'Corpse Party' helped either, but I wasn't just gonna lay there,) and when I manage to wake up at noon, I about launch into a panic attack, like, literally .5 seconds after I opened my eyes, because apparently there was a statewide tornado siren testing today. MAYBE. THEY SHOULD WARN PEOPLE. BECAUSE I WAS FREAKING THE F*CK OUT. THANK GOD FOR MY HONEYBUN FINDING OUT WHAT WAS GOING ON, OTHERWISE I WOULD HAVE HAD A FULL BLOWN ATTACK. FUCK. Ugh.. so tired..wish I didn't have to work today...