#partly because it was like 3 am i needed to go to bed

[msmk11]

Best Friend's Mom Part Three

MILF!Wanda Maximoff x college age!fem!reader (Billy and Tommy's best friend)

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part Four

Word count: 5.2k

CW: Age gap (legal), best friends' mom, MILF!Wanda, fluff, consumption of alcohol, mentions of food, mentions of vomiting, drunk!reader, poor decision making while drunk, hangover, angst

Summary: You finally admitted to yourself that you have feelings for Wanda. And you are not handling it well. This leads to you making some rather poor decisions, and you've yet to realize the extent of the consequences.

A/n: Part three finally here! Sorry for the wait, my life has been a shitshow lol. Happy reading loves!

You wake to soft kisses peppering your skin and the smell of Wanda’s sweet perfume. Your naked bodies are flush against each other, so much so that her long, red hair falls partly over your bare shoulder. When she senses your stirring, she leans over you and places a delicate kiss to your lips. 

“Good morning, baby,” she whispers, her voice still thick with sleep.

“Morning, Wanda,” you barely mumble out, not quite awake yet. 

She places a kiss on your neck and nips it a little, causing you to gasp. 

“No, Wanda, not yet,” you groan, “s’too early.”

Her kisses only continue, tracing back up your neck to a soft spot behind your ear that she knows you go crazy for. 

“Come on, Detka, let me have a little fun,” the redhead muses seductively, “you can just lay there, all pretty and perfect, while I take care of you.”

She slowly starts to caress your skin, and with the added effect of the burning kisses up and down your body, you turn to putty beneath her. Suddenly, Wanda flips you on your back and climbs on top of you, straddling your waist. She cups your cheek and gives you a deep, meaningful kiss. One that you’re rather enjoying, too, until your brain reminds you that this sort of kiss is much too tender for a spring break fling. 

“Wanda, wait,” you hesitate, pushing her away a little.

She looks at you, a little concern peeking through her lustful eyes, “What is it, Detka? Is something wrong?”

“I, I need to tell you something first. I won’t feel right otherwise.”

Wanda, sadly, climbs off your lap and sits back against the headboard. She guides you to a similar position and then places her hand on your thigh.

“Wanda….” you pause, “I don’t think I can keep doing this. Sleeping together, I mean.”

Her eyes narrow a little in confusion and she lets out a disbelieving snort, “What? What do you mean? Why? I thought we were both enjoying this.”

“Well, yes, I am. I was. But things have…. gotten too complicated for me.”

Wanda doesn’t respond. Instead, she stares down at her hand on your bare thigh.

“You mean-”

“Wanda, I have feelings for you,” you interrupt. 

She quickly pulls her hand away from your thigh, like you’ve burned her. She scrambles off the bed and picks up your shirt off the floor, throwing it to you. She then slips on her own.

“Wanda, what are you doing?” 

“Put your shirt on,” she orders, pointing to the discarded item in your lap. 

You do as she says and then wait- for her to say something, anything. 

“Wanda-”

“This wasn’t supposed to happen,” she tells you harshly, “This was meant to be a meaningless fling. Don’t you understand that?”

Heat grows in your cheeks and shame in your stomach, “I know, Wanda, believe me, I didn’t mean for this to happen. But you’re just so pretty, and smart, and- I caught feelings for you.”

Wanda scoffs and crosses her arms, looking away, “I should’ve known to avoid someone like you.”

“Someone, like me?” You whisper.

“Yes, someone too stupid and immature to handle anything casual. It’s embarrassing, really.”

Hot tears sting your eyes and your stomach aches. “Wanda, what are you saying? This isn’t like you. I didn’t expect you to return my feelings, but I thought you’d be at least kind.”

She laughs coldly, a sound you never thought you’d hear coming from her, “You think you know me? Because we slept together? Baby, you know nothing about me. You’re just someone I fucked.”

Those last words echo in your ears over and over…

You’re just someone I fucked.

Someone I fucked.

Someone I fucked.

You jolt awake, your breathing hard and fast, and your face is wet with tears. You panic for a moment, not entirely sure where you are. Your heart slows a little when you look around and realize that you’re just in Wanda’s room, the woman in question sleeping peacefully beside you.

It had all been a dream.

A horrible, horrible dream. 

You’re still shaking, and you know there’s no chance of you falling back asleep. Even though it’s still early, you quietly get out of bed and sweep your discarded clothes up off the floor. You dart from the room across the hall into your own and close the door, breathing heavily. You need to get out of this house. Away from Wanda and her temptations and your fears. You throw on a hoodie and shorts and traipse out to the living room. Your flip flops still lay in a heap by the glass door, so you slip them on and head outside. It’s nice, the beach being only a few steps away from the house. You kick off your shoes and let yourself feel the sand in between your toes. It’s soft but also gritty and grounds you in reality- far away from the nightmare of only a few minutes ago. 

You know it isn’t real, but it feels like it- from every touch of her skin on yours to the pain in your heart as she scoffed at you and mocked you. You had dreamt of the worst possible scenario, and it left you rattled to your core. 

You try to push it all from your thoughts, letting the crashing waves drown them out and the slowly rising sun distract you. The cotton candy skies and its reflection on the shimmering ocean make you feel as though you’re in a fairytale, where nothing evil or bad can hurt you. 

You imagine that in this fairytale world you could be with Wanda. There’d be no college to worry about, the twins wouldn’t feel upset or betrayed, and you could go back to being in that little cottage you’d daydreamed about not that long ago. You suppose to an extent, this dream could be a reality. Yet you have never been an optimist.

What you and Wanda have is special, no doubt. But it is also fleeting, a one time thing, and you doubt you’d be in such close proximity to her ever again. When you left this beach house you’d go back to school, finish your semester, and graduate. She’d go back off to her own life- one that she’s happily settled into- just as you would be about to start your own. Though you could make room for her in yours, Wanda’s life had turned out pretty nice. Pretty close to perfect. And who were you to take that all away?

You decide that you have to get over your silly little crush. What at first seems impossible becomes less so as you think about it. You reckon that once you leave this house, you’ll rarely see Wanda besides at graduation, an occasional visit to see the twins, and maybe the twins’ weddings.  

Still, you’d rather be safe than sorry.

*****

At a reasonable hour, you bound back into the house with a pep in your step and a plan in your mind. It’s still early enough that Wanda isn’t out in the kitchen, but not late enough for you to feel bad for what you’re about to do. You make your way down the hall opposite of your room to the master bedroom. Though you quietly open the door, nothing else you do is as subtle. Billy and Tommy, both of whom are big guys, look a little funny all squished together in one bed. You give yourself a running start and leap onto the bed, arms and legs sprawled as you land on top of them. They wake with resounding grimaces, umphs, and quite a bit of cursing.

Tommy shoves your arm roughly, “what the fuck are you doing?”

“Just missed you,” you pout, sticking out your upper lip.

Billy grabs the pillow from under his head and smacks you in the face, “you’re such a pest, you know that? Couldn’t you have bothered us in like,” he checks the clock, “two hours?”

“No,” you huff, “that’s too far away. Anyhow, you should be glad I didn’t wake you up earlier.”

Tommy rolls over to look at you, “Earlier? How long have you been awake?”

You shrug nonchalantly, “Eh, three, four hours?”

“Jesus,” Billy groans, “what’s wrong with you?”

“Couldn’t sleep.”

“So why’d you have to wake us up?”

“Don’t be such a party pooper,” you tsk, “And anyways, you guys should be thanking me for the great idea I’m about to share.”

Tommy flops down onto his back, “What is it?”

“We….. should go out tonight!” You exclaim.

You are met with unimpressed silence. 

“That was the most brilliant idea you just had to wake us up for?” Billy asks you with a sigh.

“Well yes. I mean, it seemed like you two losers had no intention of going out at all on this trip, and I’m pretty sure that would ruin your reputation,” you answer thoughtfully, “so I’m saving you.”

“Fine, fine. We’ll go out,” Tommy tells you. And though he sounds annoyed, you know it's all an act- the smirk in his voice giving him away. 

*****

At this point, you’ve lost track of the number of drinks you’ve had as you down a shot of-

Well you can’t remember, but you don’t really care because it gets the job done. Any burning in your throat goes unnoticed at this point in the night, and you cheer loudly as you slam the glass back down onto the bar. 

Tommy and Billy cheer along with you as they too finish their shots. 

“Let’s go dance,” Billy shouts over the music. 

Both of them being taller than you, they sandwich you in the middle, each with a hand on your shoulder so they don’t lose you in the crowd. It’s hot and sticky, the place is crowded with bodies, and the loud music blaring through the speakers is shit, but you’ve never felt better.

“I’m so glad we decided to go out,” you yell.

Tommy bends nearer to your mouth, “WHAT?”

“I said, I’m so glad we decided to go out,” you repeat. Then, you stumble, having been shoved by some stupid person behind you. 

Tommy catches you by the arms and then moves you, putting himself in between the stranger and you. You, really, don’t even notice, and keep swaying along to the music happily. The base vibrates in your chest and skull. That, combined with all the booze in your body, has made you forget- whatever it is you’re supposed to forget tonight. 

Something about Wanda, maybe?

Wanda.

You shake your head, clearing away any hazy thoughts about the redhead, and reach into your back pocket. You pull out a shooter that you had stored away for a special occasion, and now feels like the right moment. It's banana flavored- your least favorite- but you know it will do the job. You unscrew the cap, tossing it on the floor somewhere, and then throw your head back, barely letting it touch your tongue as you swallow. You discard the bottle then too, and enjoy the warmth that spreads down to your toes. 

“How many have you had tonight?” Billy calls out to you.

You shrug shoulders unseriously and giggle, “I don’t know, but I feel realllllllyyyyy good right now.”

“Well, let’s not have any more tonight, okay?” He replies.

You cross your arms and pout at him, “You’re not my dad, Billy. I can do whatever I want.”

“If you can get through a whole sentence without slurring your words, you can do whatever you want,” he retorts. 

“Easy peasy,” you reply, throwing your hand to the side. “See, I just did it right now.”

You in fact, did not. Not that you’d ever know. You hadn’t just slurred your words, you’d also mixed them up, spitting out some phrase that really didn’t make sense.

But the twins know they won’t be able to prove that to you, so instead, they distract you.

“See any pretty girls here tonight?” Tommy asks you casually. 

You nod lazily and laugh, “Oh, yes. There was this one girl by the bathroom door that looked really good in her skirt,” you slur, “I would totally go for her. But I can’t because I-”

Even your drunk brain is conscious enough to stop yourself from saying what you were about to: “because I have feelings for Wanda.”

Instead, drunk you does the best you can, and you slap your hands dramatically over your mouth.

“Oops,” you say, giggling.

Tommy smirks at you a little and laughs, “What were you going to say.”

You wag your finger at him and shake your head, “Nuh-uh. Can’t tell, it’s a secret.”

You giggle again. 

“Oh, come on,” Billy prods, poking your side, “we’re your best friendssss.”

You shriek and move away, bumping into someone behind you. You don’t realize it, so Tommy apologizes on your behalf and rests a hand on your back. 

“This,” you say, hiccuping, “is a secret I will take to my grave. Scout’s honor.”

“You’re not a scout,” Billy reminds you, trying to suppress his smile.

You scoff and roll your eyes at him, though no one can take you very seriously, “It’s a saying, Billy, DUHHHHHH.”

He raises his hands in mock defense, “Right, right, my bad.”

“You sure you can’t tell us?” Tommy asks pleadingly.

You shake your head again and mimic zipping your lips, tossing away the key.

Before he can try to persuade you again you suddenly shout, “let’s go get another drink!”

You take off towards the bar and, surprisingly, for being smaller than both of them, you’re really fast. 

*****

You feel like you’re on death’s doorstep. 

The light that filters in through your blinds burns your eyes, your mouth feels like cotton, and your head feels as though there are a million tiny people smashing hammers into your skull. Every bone in your body feels like lead and your stomach muscles scream as you try to sit up. When you do, your head spins and you think for a second that you’re going to throw up. 

Last night was a blur, and you’re not totally sure how you got back to your bed, in your pajamas, with a trash can at the foot, and a glass of water on the nightstand. Through your blurry vision you also notice two tiny pills beside the water and a note. 

Take these. It’ll help.

Wanda

So that’s how. Wanda had taken care of you. But how much had she taken care of you? The last thing you remember is leaving with the boys, and then- nothing. 

You achieved what you wanted- to forget for a while- but the toll on your body is making you wonder if it was a good choice in the first place.

You reach out and grab the pills off the nightstand, popping them into your mouth and then taking a sip of the water. You finish the rest of your glass with slow, tiny sips, your stomach unable to handle anything more. 

When you finish your water, you quite literally drag yourself out of bed and into the bathroom. Luckily, there are no windows in there, and with the lights off, you’re emerged in blissful darkness. After you relieve yourself, you stumble into an icy cold shower and quickly wash the grime from last night’s ventures off your body. It’s the quickest shower you’ve ever taken, and when you’re done your teeth are chattering, the small towel doing little to keep you warm. Still, you feel just a little better, so the sacrifice was worth it. 

Back in the room you don sweats and then crawl around on the floor looking for your sunglasses. Relief washes over you when you find them and put them on, the searing rays diminishing in severity. Even if you feel better, you know that you look like a wreck. And even if you didn’t look like a wreck, everyone in the house knows that you are. So the shame is present nonetheless as you trudge down the hall into the kitchen. 

The boys look in much better shape than you, if not still a little worn out, and are sitting at the table eating breakfast. The scene is unusually quiet as Tommy shoves toast into his mouth while scrolling on his phone, and Wanda and Billy chat quietly over their coffee. When you walk in they all look up at you, worry crossing their features. 

“Hey kid, how are you feeling?” Billy asks quietly. 

You grimace a little and plop down in the seat next to him, giving him a thumbs down. 

“Not surprised. You went a little crazy last night,” Tommy tells you. 

“I don’t really remember anything,” you admit, “but I can piece together enough by the way I’m feeling right now.”

“By the end of the night, you could barely walk, nothing you were saying made sense, and you threw up in some bushes on the way home,” he says, worry evident in his tone. 

You rub your hands across your face, “oh shit. I didn’t realize it had gotten that bad. I’m sorry.”

Billy places a comforting hand on your shoulder, “It’s okay, it happens sometimes. And anyways, all that matters is we got you back here safe.”

“And mom insisted on taking care of you last night, so I’m sure you’ll be back to better in no time,” Tommy adds reassuringly. 

You look up at Wanda and give her the smallest of smiles, “Thank you, Wanda.”

Though she smiles back at you, it doesn’t meet her eyes, and you know instantly that something is wrong.

“Of course, honey. Now have something to eat.”

She pushes a plate of dry toast towards you and your stomach twists a little. 

“I- I don’t think I can.”

“You have to, honey,” the redhead replies, a slight scolding tone to her voice. 

You pick up a piece with shaking hands and take the tiniest of bites. You chew for what feels like forever and the bread scrapes your throat as you swallow.

Wanda waits until you finish a whole piece of toast and then she stands, “I’m going to go get dressed.”

Your eyes follow her down the hall, and she doesn’t look back at you once. Your stomach turns again, and you’re not sure if it’s from anxiety or your hangover this time. 

You’re lost in a trance, staring into the void down the hall when Billy clears his throat. You turn and look at him. Both of your friends have matching serious expressions.

“Okay, now that my mom is gone I feel comfortable asking, what the fuck happened?”

“Well you know better than me-“ you mumble.

“That’s not what we mean,” Tommy interrupts, “you’ve never gotten that drunk in your life. You always have self-control. So what the fuck changed?”

“Is something going on?”

“Because if there is, you know you can tell us, right?”

“I mean I was so worried about you by the end of the night.”

“We both were. Mom too.”

“She insisted she be the one to watch you in case something happened.”

“And-“

The twins are spitting information at you so fast that your head starts to swim. You can barely process what one has said before the other starts again.

“Wait, wait, wait,” you say, putting your hands up, “slow down, please. When you guys talk like this, I can barely understand you sober, let alone hungover.”

Billy huffs, “sorry, sorry.”

“We’re just worried about you,” Tommy tells you. 

You sigh and reach out, grabbing both of their hands, “I know, I know. I’m sorry. And I thank you both for looking after me. But seriously, I’m okay. I just… went a little too crazy last night. Spring break curse or something…”

Tommy squeezes your hand, “Are you sure? Because you seemed a little off all of yesterday.”

Yesterday…. You had been off. But you thought no one had noticed. 

“Just thrown off with the new schedule this week,” you lied. 

Billy hums suspiciously and kisses the side of your head, “well if there is anything you want to talk about, please tell us, okay?”

You smile at them and roll your eyes- not that they can see it with your sunglasses on- “yeah, yeah, okay.”

They stand and tell you that they’re going to go get ready. 

As they leave Tommy points to your plate, “And finish your toast, goddamnit!”

*****

You stand outside Wanda’s door for far longer than you’d like to admit. Finally, you knock softly and you hear a faint, “come in.”

Wanda is by her vanity, putting on her jewelry when you slowly crack open the door. 

“Uh hey, Wanda, sorry to bother you, I just, wanted to thank you for taking care of me last night.”

She clasps her necklace into place before turning to you, “It was no problem, honey. I just wanted to make sure you were safe.”

You hesitate a little and sit down on the edge of her bed. She turns back to grab her earrings, and though her back is facing you, she is looking at you through the mirror. 

“I also uh, wanted to ask if you were okay. You just seemed a little…. upset…. this morning and I’m worried.”

“Hmmm? Me? Upset?” She asks, distractedly, “no, no. I’m just tired is all. Staying up all night to take care of someone will do that to you.”

“Yeah, right, sorry,” you mutter quietly. 

Wanda is silent and you feel a palpable tension in the air. But not a good kind. 

She slides on a few bracelets and then turns back around to face you, leaning back against the light wood furniture, “Anything else?” 

You shake your head a little too vigorously and stand up, heading towards the door. Your stomach is all in knots, and you wonder what could’ve possibly happened for things to feel this wrong all of a sudden. Had something happened when you were drunk? 

“You know,” Wanda suddenly says, and you stop, hand on the doorknob.

“It really shouldn’t be you who is worried about me.”

You turn around and look at her. She’s maintained the same nonchalant pose, but her face is much more serious. 

“What do you mean?”

“Well I’m not the one who was drunk out of their mind last night. It’s really me that should be worried about you.”

You walk back over to the bed and sit down, “Why? Wanda, it was a mistake. A one night thing where I got a little too crazy. It happens to the best of us.”

Wanda walks closer to you, close enough that she sort of towers over you, “Detka, you were blackout drunk. You were puking your guts out all night, you couldn’t stand, and you were rambling about a bunch of things that didn’t really make sense. It just didn’t seem like the type of thing that you’d do.”

You look down at your hands in your lap and pick at your fingernails, unsure what to say next. 

“I mean, I know I haven’t known you very long,” Wanda says as she sits down next to, “but deep in my core I just know something is off. That you’re hiding something. You can tell me, you know.”

In this moment, you’re ready to spill your guts to her. She just smells so good, and her voice is so gentle, and she’s sitting so close to you, you’re pretty sure you’d do whatever she asks. 

Instead you say, “I don’t know, I think you know me pretty well.”

You can tell it’s not the answer she’s expecting by the confusion that clouds her face, “what do you mean?”

You try to hold back a smirk, “well, you know my body pretty intimately at least, wouldn’t you agree?”

Wanda lets out a disbelieving giggle and your stomach erupts in butterflies, “you are something else, Detka. Here we are trying to have a serious conversation, and you go off making lewd innuendos.”

You shrug casually and look at her. Her eyes are teeming with amusement and you’d do anything to have her looking at you like that all the time.

“Am I wrong?”

She scoffs and squeezes your thigh playfully, “cocky, Detka. Maybe I don’t know you so much after all.”

“I’m full of secrets.”

“Well that I know,” Wanda says more seriously as she cups your face, “and it’s those secrets I’m trying to get out of you.”

She’s so close to you now and you want to kiss her so badly. But you don’t.

“It’s no fun if I give all my secrets away. What would I have then?”

“Trust.”

“Wanda,” you sigh, “I already trust you.”

Her thumb rubs soothing circles on the side of your face, “then why don’t you just tell me?”

You can’t help but lean into her touch.

“It’s complicated.”

“I’m a divorcée and single mother with twin, adult sons who happen to have a very pretty friend that I slept with. I know complicated.”

“I- I don’t know, Wanda.”

-Wanda's POV-

Wanda is aware that this game of cat and mouse she’s playing with you is pointless because she already knows your secret.

She just wants you to confess it.

Sober.

(flashback)

She hadn't been lying when she'd said that you were very drunk last night. 

After you and the boys had told her you were going out, she decided to wait up until you all had arrived home safely. Though you were all grown adults, she still couldn’t help but worry. 

So Wanda waited up for you three on the couch in the living room, dozing in and out of consciousness as old tv programs hummed on in the background. Around two a.m., Wanda woke to not-so-quiet thuds and cursing. She found you all at the front door, the boys on either side of you, your arms flung across each of their shoulders. Tommy was crouched down trying to take your shoes off, but your knees were bent at such an awkward angle, so much so that you weren’t even standing, that he was failing miserably. 

Billy looked over at the sound of Wanda’s footsteps and cringed, “sorry mom, did we wake you?”

“No, moya lubov,” she answered with a quick wave of her hand, “I waited up for you, just in case.”

“Thanks mom,” Tommy said, grunting through the effort of trying to keep you up. “You can go to sleep now though, we’re back home safe and okay.”

Wanda eyed you warily, “she doesn’t look all that okay. What happened?”

Billy shook his head just as confused as Wanda, “I don’t know. She just got really drunk. I swear we were watching her but somehow, she still got this bad.”

“Not- drunk,” you mumbled under your breath.

They all ignored you.

“Why don’t you let me take it from here, boys. You two go get your rest,” Wanda said quietly. 

“Mom, no, she’s our friend. We’ll watch her. Anyways, you need your sleep,” Tommy insisted. 

Wanda cupped his cheek and pecked his forehead before doing the same to Billy.

“I really don’t mind, boys. And anyways, it’s better if I watch over her. I’m sober, so if something happens, I can take care of it.”

When Wanda put her mind to something, there was no point in arguing with her. The boys knew this, so they resigned, carefully handing you off to their mother. 

“Goodnight, mom,” they said in unison, trudging off down the hall. 

With you in her arms, she guided you down the hall, carrying your weight like it was nothing (it isn’t to her hehe). She took you down to the bathroom and sat you on the cold, tile floor. She slid down next to you and made sure you were propped up against the wall comfortably. Your eyes were glossy, and your head lolled to the side on your shoulder. 

“Had fun tonight?” Wanda asked you.

You murmured out what she assumed was a yes.

“Maybe a little too much fun from the looks of it,” she added.

You didn’t seem to hear her, and only giggled.

Wanda looked at you with a small smirk, “what’s so funny?”

“You’re so pretty, Wanda,” you said, sighing.

“Thank you, honey. You’re pretty too.”

You sighed exasperatedly, like Wanda was missing some important point.

“No, you don’t get it. You’re like reallyyyyyyyyy pretty.”

Wanda blushed a little, and she was glad you were too drunk to notice.

“So what happened tonight?” She asked, “why did you get so drunk?”

You shrugged your shoulders and giggled, “I don’t know. I wasn’t drunk, and then I was.”

“But this all seems like a bit much, honey.”

You didn’t respond, so she leaned forward and tucked a stray hair out of your face. This got your attention.

Wanda repeated herself, “why did you get so drunk?”

This time, you did respond. But it was a bunch of mumbles.

“What did you say?” She prodded gently.

You huffed, and Wanda didn’t miss the way your cheeks flushed.

“Feelings.”

“Feelings?” Wanda repeated, “what do you mean?”

You groaned and slumped forward, resting your head on your knees.

“I was feeling feelings.”

Wanda reached out and tapped your shoulder, “can you sit up for me? I can’t understand you when you sit like that.”

You obliged and shuffled forward, resting your arms on the toilet seat and your head on your arms.

“This better?” You slurred.

“Yes, thank you, honey,” she answered kindly.

“You want to tell me about what feelings you were feeling?”

Though your head stayed resting on your arms, you shook it vigorously, and Wanda couldn’t help but find it cute the way your cheeks squished against your arm.

“You can trust me, baby,” she told you sweetly.

You contemplated this for a moment. Though a moment for you was many moments in sober time.

“Fine, fine. I’ll tell you. But you can never speak of this.”

Wanda nodded. She had to admit, she was pretty curious about what you were going to say.

You beckoned Wanda closer to you. She complied, but you only motioned at her again to come closer. It was not until her face was inches away from yours that you finally whispered, “I was feeling feelings for you, Wanda.”

Wanda’s heart beat erratically in her chest at your confession. The words echoed in her head over and over again.

(back to present)

She hears them again now, as you sit in front of her anxiously, and finally, soberly, say what drunk you already confessed last night.

Wanda doesn’t say anything. Or more like, you don’t give her the chance to. Instantly, you begin to nervously fill the silence.

“There, I said it. I have feelings for you, Wanda. And I'm sorry. I know that’s not how this was supposed to go. That it was just supposed to be some casual fling. But I just couldn’t help it. And I know you don’t feel the same way, but, yeah.”

It is silent again for a moment, and you look back down at your lap anxiously.

Finally, Wanda says something.

“I never said that.”

Your head shoots up and you look at her, “what?”

“I never said if I do or don’t have feelings for you. In fact, you never even asked.”

Your lip trembles a little, but you look Wanda straight in the eyes and say, “well, do you?”

*******************************************************

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[keeira2]

I’LL ALWAYS LOVE YOU

stalkerexbf!rafe x fem!reader

masterlist

summary: life takes a weird turn when your introduced with an anonymous stalker. but everything changes when he breaks into your house and your met with him face to face..

warnings: crazy!rafe, pantie stealing?, creepy!rafe, rafe threatens you with a gun, sort of cnc, heavy on the smut, CNC, spit kink, degrading kink, tied up reader, soft!rafe at the end? MDNI 18+!! if i miss any pls lmk

a/n: this is kinda long whoops, not rlly proof read so ignore any mistakes pls. it’s also rlly kinky js giving everyone a heads up. hope you guys like it :3

after another long shift at the pelican yacht club, you’re finally home. throwing your keys onto the kitchen bench nd undress for ur shower. which was what you desperately needed after serving snobby kooks for the past six hours. you let the hot water fall down your body. scrubbing ur scalp and body clean of any grime from the day.

wrapped in ur towel, you walk to ur bedroom to get dressed. grabbing a baggy tee nd a lacy thong. as ur going thru ur lingerie drawer, you notice ur favourite pair of black panties missing? which was weird because you remember folding them nd placing them in there the night before.

you brush past it, getting dressed nd collapsing onto the bed to watch murder documentaries. after less than half the episode, you find urself drifting into a deep sleep.

days, even weeks go by, your daily routine unphased. another closing shift at work, you grab ur belongings nd start to walk home. usually you’d catch the bus, but when you close it’s already 10pm nd there aren’t any buses running this late to the cut. so you walk home, wrapped in ur fur hoodie trying to ignore the cold air.

it’s only a 10 minute walk to get home, which has never been a problem especially bc you know most ppl in the cut. but this time you feel a burning gaze shooting right thru you.

you shiver, partly because it’s cold but mostly bc you have an overbearing feeling that ur being watched. you hear a rustling in the bushes behind you, which could’ve been the wind but you were NOT taking any chances. so you start to run, not looking back. you don’t stop until you get home, quickly unlocking the door nd slamming it closed behind you.

you make sure to lock all the doors and windows before hopping in the shower, which helped you shake the creepy feeling off of you. you heat up some popcorn nd snuggle under your covers.

ur trying to pick a movie to watch, occasionally leaning over to grab a handful of popcorn you hear your phone ‘ding!’. lazily reaching over to grab and check it, you freeze when ur gaze lands on the message.

unknown number: you don’t need to run away from me, doll. was js making sure you got home safe ;)

someone was following you. oh my god. you sat still for a moment, still in shock. how did they get your number? how long have they been following you? you basically led them to your home, do they know where you live now?

millions of thoughts racing through ur head, you couldn’t help but text back, your hands shaking over the letters.

you: who are you???? please leave me alone.

before you can even shut ur phone off, another ‘ding!’ catches your attention like he was waiting for your response.

unknown number: you’ll find out who i am soon enough. i’m just looking after you, don’t be scared, doll.

what does he mean i’ll found out soon enough? is he gonna come after me? did he follow me home? you’re literally shaking in fear now, ur mind racing with different possibilities.

you: please. leave me alone.

you see he’s typing, but stops. he doesn’t text you for the rest of the night, maybe he listened and he’s actually gonna leave you alone. you were just hoping that maybe it was a prank from ur friends. anything except the fact that you might actually have a stalker.

you struggle to fall asleep that night. tossing and turning in your bed, desperately trying to calm yourself. ‘the doors are locked, nobody can get in. ur okay’ you reassure yourself.

a few days go by and you start to notice more panties going missing. what the fuck? you’re left with only a few pairs now, and there’s no way you’ve just misplaced them. the realisation dawns on you. what if he’s been here. has he been in ur house??

you try calming yourself down. ensuring every window nd door is locked. sitting back down ur cozy bed, u slip under the covers and bring ur knees up to your chest in a fetal position. your breathing is heavy while u hold ur head in ur hands. you quietly sob. ur so scared. you’ve only been living by yourself for 6 months and you were scared then. why me??

you didn’t even realise how much time had gone by or when you’d gotten tired. but you rub your closed eyes, letting out a big yawn and stretching your arms out. but when you finally open them, you freeze.

a man is standing in ur room, looking right at you. you can’t muster up the courage to say anything so you just stare back completely still, unable to see his face.

“hey doll, you miss me?” a familiar voice asks, stepping closer.

your mouth falls agape. no. no. no. no. no. this cannot be happening. you’d ended things with him MONTHS ago after he started acting out, getting angry all the time, threatening to hurt you and being literally insane. you blink ur tears away, one managing to roll down ur cheek.

“r-rafe..?” you whisper, if the house wasn’t completely silent he wouldn’t have been able to hear you.

“you’re so pretty when ur sleeping, baby.” taking a step closer to you now. you try to move backwards but ur back already pressed against the bed frame. u see him reach behind him, pulling what looks like a gun out of his back pocket.

“n-no, no please.. what are you doing?” you ask shakily, trying to back away further away from him to the other side of the bed.

he sighs, “i don’t wanna have to use this, doll,” shaking the gun in his hand to refer to it,” just listen to what i say and don’t give me a reason to hurt you, alright?”

you tremble with fear, “please, rafe, please leave.. i wont tell anyone. just please” you plead with him. praying that he’ll just go and never come back, even tho you know deep down that’s not gonna happen.

“m’sorry, no can do,” taking another step foward until he’s standing over you, ”missed you so much, can’t leave now.”

his words made your heart flutter, you couldn’t help it. you couldn’t deny the way ur thighs clenched together at the thought of him putting in all this effort just to see you. why are you like this oh my god?? no. u want him to leave. you need him to leave.

after a second of hesitation you finally ask “..what do you want, rafe?” wiping a tear from ur face.

he sits down across from you on the bed, holding the gun up to face you. ‘he’s only doing this to scare you.. he would never actually hurt you’ you try convincing yourself.

“aw come on, don’t be like that, angel” his hand grazing ur knee, before placing his large hand inbetween them to gently pull ur legs apart, “i bet ur so wet right now, so desperate f’me.” he groans nd u notice the massive buldge in his jeans.

u shake ur head, “no, rafe,” you sob again, “please go.” he brings the hand that’s holding the gun to your face, pushing the hair out of ur face with it, “sh sh, it’s okay.. ur okay. save the tears for when i’m done with you, alright?”

you don’t know if that’s reassurance or a threat but either way you feel your pussy getting wetter, his hand travelling lower until its resting on ur plush thigh.

“i need you to stay still, baby, or ur gonna get hurt.” he warns sternly before standing up and reaching for his back pocket again, pulling out a thick rope. u already know how this is gonna go.

he snatches both ur hands nd goes to tie them to the headboard. u squirm nd use ur trembling body to try and push him off, he doesn’t budge until u slap his face. his face turning back to you slowly, a hand against his jaw with a smirk.

“what did i just say? hm? ur gonna regret that, doll, makin me do things i rlly didn’t wanna do.” with a harsh grip he snatches ur wrists again, ur body squirming trying to release your arms but to no avail. when ur wrists are tied down, you whince, the pressure making you sore.

he reaches down to grip ur face and pulls you in to a desperate, hungry kiss. he hovers over you, pulling ur legs apart with his body. his tongue invading your mouth. as much as you hated this, you couldn’t help but kiss him back.

when he finally pulls away he wastes no time in ripping off ur shirt, “no bra, hm? knew you wanted this.” he groans and attaches his lips to ur tits, licking and sucking at ur nipples causing you to let out a series of faint moans.

rafe pulls away, snatching ur knees to spread your legs apart wide. eyeing you down, admiring the wet patch he’s created through ur panties. he lays on his stomach infront of you, giving ur thighs open mouth kisses.

“r-rafe, please..hmmpf” u whine. u don’t know if ur asking him to stop or if u want him to do more. ur so ashamed.

“please what, doll? use ur words cmon.” he teases ur swollen clit with his thumb, over the fabric of ur soaked panties.

when u don’t respond, his big hand slaps your pussy, causing you to let out a scream. “i said use ur fucking words” he raises his voice at you.

“p-please, eat me out,” u whimper when he rubs circles over ur clit, “need you.” that was enough to please him. so he tugs ur panties off, sliding them off ur legs and his tongue was licking a long stripe thru ur folds. “u taste so good, baby” he mumbles into you. without any warning, he inserts two fingers and thrusts mercilessly, now sucking ur puffy clit.

you let out a scream, or a moan, you didn’t know what it was but he makes you feel so so good. almost made you forget how he’s been breaking into your house and stalking you.

u tug to wrap your hands in his hair but remember ur wrists are tightly bound. he’s holding u down with one hand and fucking you with the other.

you feel yourself getting close, clenching around his fingers. u start to squirm, lifting your hips so he can get deeper but he detaches his mouth from ur clit and pulls out his drenched fingers.

“..why’d you stop?” you whimper, desperate for your release.

“youll cum when i say you can.” your eyes pleading with him but he shakes his head. “now your gonna take my cock like the filthy slut you are.” reaching for his belt nd yanking his jeans nd boxers off.

he starts teasing your folds with his cock, making you squirm even more. you know this is wrong. he’s insane. but you can’t help but enjoy his torment.

suddenly he roughly thrusts into you, without letting you adjust, pounding into you ruthlessly. the sounds of your skins clapping, his heavy grunts and your screams echo the room.

your legs unconsciously wrap around his waist. his hands grip onto your hips tightly, surely leaving bruises for you in the morning. “r-rafe, fuck, please sto-“ you screech when he goes in deeper. “fucking take it, quit complaining.” he yells before taking your tit in one hand, teasing your nipple inbetween his fingers.

he knew your body so well. you hated it. if this was anybody else you wouldn’t have been enjoying it like you are now. but it’s rafe. even when he was acting crazy in your relationship, he always made sure you knew how much he loved and cared for you. how he would do anything for you.

you can feel your release finally coming. you clench around his cock, silently begging he’ll let you cum. but to no avail, he pulls out. he unwraps your legs and sits over your chest. “open.” when you don’t comply he grabs your jaw and sticks his thumb into your mouth, “i said fucking open.” the second your lips start to part, he pushes his dick into your mouth, thrusting relentlessly making you gag around him. tears start to well in your eyes and when you try to pull your head away he latches his hand in your hair to stop you from moving. finally releasing you when you feel his cock twitch, followed by a hot flow of cum invading your throat.

he grabs onto your jaw again, giving you three light slaps to you cheek and spits in your mouth. “fucking swallow it,” hesitantly you do, opening your mouth back up and sticking out your tounge to show him.

he smirks, content with the sight in front of him. your hair disheveled, hot tears covering your cheeks and that look in your eyes, which you always had when you were around him. his sweet angel. he loved ruining you.

“rafey.. can i cum now, please? i’ve been a good girl.” you beg. the nickname making him flustered, which fortunately for him you don’t notice in the dark room.

“d’you think you deserve it?” he asks teasing to which you nod eagerly.

“please.” all your self respect and pride out the window now because you were so cockdrunk on ur psycho ex boyfriend you couldn’t think properly.

he shuffles back, spreading your legs apart again and moves his hand towards where you need him most. he begins toying with ur swollen clit before thrusting back into you. this time slower but just as deep.

you don’t hold back your moans, he makes you feel so good. but your cockdrunk haze interrupted when he started to speak again. “tell me you love me.” he groans, his eyes locking on yours. his thrusts hitting deeper, picking up the pace.

you were immediately taken aback. ofcourse you loved him, it’s rafe. but he’s crazy, god, he broke into your house and threatened you with a gun. he noticed your hesitation and starting rubbing your clit, almost sending you over the edge.

“y-yes, fuck, rafe i love you! hmmpf” you scream, your pussy clenching around him once again, his hand tightly gripping your throat. his thrusts brutal, pounding into you. you tug at the ropes bouncing your wrists when you feel pure bliss, your mind hazed and your pussy aching. his thrusts not stopping to ride out your high. you let out a loud, shaky moan/scream. the neighbours probably thought you were getting murdered. your orgasm leaves you limp, only ur legs shaking when he pulls out, yanking his boxers and pants back up.

what you’ve just done dawns over you. you’re so ashamed. you actually begged him to keep going. your tears reappear, trying to be as quiet as possible so rafe doesn’t notice and yell at you again. you wanted to kick him out, call the police and never see him again. the other part of you wanted him to hold you in his arms while you cry, and beg him never to leave your side. but right now, rafe decides for you.

he leans over to give you a sweet peck on the lips and reaches for your bound wrists. “are you gonna be good?” he whispers, eyes scanning your face for any lies. “i’ll be good, rafe. promise.” and you meant it, even tho you were choking back sobs of humiliation, you still meant it.

he untied the rope, your wrists aching and bruises already appearing. he leaves pecks all over the markings, which is his way of saying he’s sorry for hurting you. “i love you so much, y/n” he confesses, straightening back up to face you again. without even thinking, you lean forward, taking his jaw in your hands and you kiss him.

the kiss is beautiful, it wasn’t rushed or heated. it was slow and meaningful. when you finally pull away, you avoid his gaze. “i love you, rafey,” his eyes widen, he didn’t think you’d actually say it back. he knew you said it before, not because you meant it but because he basically forced you. but you did mean it. you never had stopped loving him, you were just tired of his lack of sanity.

he stands up and walks out of your room, leaving you on the bed alone without saying a word. a minute goes by, you felt so dirty and disgusting now. but before any worse thoughts could swarm your head, you hear footsteps heading towards your room. rafe is back, and hes holding a towel. oh, how you missed him.

he taps your thigh, signalling you to spread your legs and cleans up the mess you’d both made. discarding the towel, he crawls onto your bed and slides under the covers with you. “i’m really sorry, baby. i wasn’t trying to scare you. i just- i didn’t know what else to do.” his excuse was sloppy (and insane) but you still forgave him. you knew he was messed up, but so were you. in his head, he was just trying to show you how much he loved you, even tho to any normal person it’s a really creepy way to get someone back, you understood enough to let him hold you.

his arms wrapped around your waist, ur head snuggled in the warmth of his neck. “i know, rafe.. i’ll always love you.” you whispered before drifting to a heavy sleep in the comfort of his arms.

[double--blind]

(SPOILERS) breaking down how obsessed Andrew is w/his sister bc he's a repressed lil liar and I'm going insane

This post got longer than I intended it to

1. He claims they don't spend enough time apart from each other to even begin missing her so he doesn't even know if he would, but just earlier in the game he was apart from her for probs like 30 mins tops to investigates some cultists and guess what???? He was already missing her 😒

2. Says "I thought you grew out of this touchy-feely crap" when Ashley asks for a hug, but earlier when he was cooking dinner, he was the one with the inexplicable urge to "pull this broody bitch into [his] arms and force her to stay until she smiles" 😒

3. Piggy-backing off the last screenshot: WHAT OTHER THOUGHTS, ANDREW??? yOU WERE JUST THINKING ABT HUGGING HER. WHAT DO YOU EVEN MEAN. THESE ARE SIMPLY INNOCENT BROTHERLY THOUGHTS ARE THEY NOT????? 🤨🤨🤨

4. Bro just can't keep his hands off her. And everyone thinks Ashley's the clingy one jeez (lol the way he springs apart from her when Mom catches them is definitely definitelyyyy not worth analyzing. nope. not even when it happens a second time on the couch. nope. nooope)

5. What. What is he thinking here. Don't think I don't see those grey lil blush lines. Is this connected to my third point somehow bc like... 🤨😬 Is "Andrew" is gonna start doing and being what "Andy" was too spineless and afraid of doing?? That's what the vow was partly abt right?? Does that include—

5. WHEWWW BOY that little flashback with his gf has so much baggage in it I just wanna dissect. His girlfriend's tryna have a serious discussion with him abt his weird sister for the sake of bettering their relationship bc she genuinely loves him, but he just gets caught up in fondly talking abt said weird sister instead??

6. He's awfully hesitant abt Ashley learning some independence, bc y'know what?? I think he doesn't really want her to stop relying on him. But what do I know y'know

6. Wants his gf to put tie her hair up in a ponytail, then when she refuses bc he'll pull on it, says it's just "how boys express their love". Well. You know who else puts there hair up in a ponytail??? You know who else's hair he's always pulling on and touching???

7. The voicemails in his gf's phone left by Ashley are heard by him in his dreams, and his dreams are a construction of his mind utilizing his memories, personal hangups, and knowledge of Ashley. The voicemails irl were left on his gf's phone, and for all we know, he never actually listened to them in person. Bearing this in mind... odds are the things Ashley's saying contain bits of truths he believes within himself, filtered thru her crude, hateful dialogue.

Here. I transcribed one of them...

"DO YOU THINK YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME!? Just because you can fuck him and I can't? You think that's love?! Are you fucking delusional?? Cumdumpsters like you are just that. He will never love you. Not like he loves me. I am the only one. I am everything. I am the secrets you'll never hear. When he lies in bed at night, and when he needs someone to hold on to… It's not you he seeks out. It is me."

8. Claims Ashley's the one with the jealous streak, not him, but I think he's just as bad. The only difference is that Ashley's never given him reason to act on it since all she's ever wanted was him, but at the slightest mention of her gettin it on w/someone else, even as a joke, he gets mad. "OVER MY DEAD BODY!!" he says, when she's jokingly contemplating getting knocked up via the neighbor so an ambulance would come for her. "I wouldn't let them," he says, when she's complaining abt not being pretty enough for the wardens to bang her

9. Going hand-in-hand with that fact, he's intensely protective of her. Didn't hesitate to cleaver the warden who found her in the closet (probs didn't even BLINK lmaooo he chose VIOLENCE), and when the cake-stealing cultist insulted her just once, he stepped forward just like that

10. In their apt, when they were lying on the floor talking abt jumping off the balcony, he was really caught up in the "romantic" fantasy of them committing a double suicide and dying with their bodies entwined so irreparably by the impact they form one unified corpse "never to be separated!" and they get buried in the same coffin together. UM??? Bro fr thought he was the sane one of the two. That wasn't even true before the cannibalism and demon summoning 😭😭😭

BONUS:

11. This might just be me, but his reaction to seeing the post-sex vision doesn't strike me as someone who's inherently opposed to the idea. Instead of disgusted, he was... flustered?? He acted like she walked in mid-guilty pleasure wet dream. This wasn't a "GROSS THATS INCEST" reaction which is... the most normal reaction to have. That's the face of a man that got CAUGHT bro.

He asks "we're not like that, are we?" and "why are you like this?" and questions the veracity of the vision, but he never actually explicitly denies wanting the vision to happen, more focused on Ashley and her reaction. He buries the elephant under the rug as fast as he can, bc yeah, it struck a landmine, but it probably wasn't a landmine for the reason Ashley thinks it is. I bet the vision just hit a little too close... :P

[wabatle]

Wawawawawawawbatle i am here to req a chigiri hyoma, nagi seishiro, and bachira meguru ! :3

Im thinking them with a gf who like cooks and cleans and kind of like wife material? But when char ever brings it up she gets all shy and flustered

Ty!

☆~Isagi, Chigiri, Bachira, Nagi, and Reo with a wife material girlfriend

wabatle nonsense:

i added reo and then was like: well i might as well add isagi

so yeah

edit: TY FOR 100 LIKES (also 100+ notes)

edit edit: HELLO??? TY FOR 200 NOTES!!

edit edit edit: TYSM FOR 300 NOTES!! THIS IS CRAZY

warnings: none~

☆~Yoichi Isagi

Honestly…Isagi doesn't really mind what you do, he just loves you anyway

But, with you being so amazing and all, he just wants to love you more

He admires you and how quick you are to respond to things, like if he spills something you're quick to clean it up

Because of this, he wants to compliment you on a regular basis, but feels bad because of how flustered it makes you

He also loves how your food tastes, partly because it's made by you, but mostly because you make it so darn well

He can't help but tell you how good your cooking is, but he'll apologize right after because your face is so red

☆~Hyoma Chigiri

Chigiri thinks you're adorable, especially when you get all red when he tells you so

So, sometimes he teases you for it, but other times he'll tell you there's nothing to be embarrassed about and that you're just amazing and then you respond with being even more flustered

I'd like to think that everyday when he's on his way home, all he can think about is getting to eat your cooking. Like, seriously, this man is on his way home thinking, “I wonder what (name) cooked tonight… whatever it is, it's gonna be so good, as per usual from my amazing (name).”

And how you keep the house clean— genuinely he couldn't appreciate you more.

☆~Meguru Bachira

Bachira literally loves this, and you, so much!!

He loves how spotless you keep the house, especially because when he helps you cook, he makes a mess

He also tends to rip his shirts and jerseys a lot, and he loves that you fix them for him so that way here can wear them again

Like Chigiri, he also literally dreams about your food. Like when you're sleeping, wake up and you'll catch him literally drooling while dreaming about your food

He also likes it when you take a cloth and wipe his face if he got dirt or anything on it while he was practicing

He would of course tease you for being so flustered, but he'll apologize in a silly way and continue to compliment you

☆~Seishiro Nagi

Nagi appreciates how much you take care of him, because he finds it to be such a hassle

So, when he gets home to find freshly made food on the table, he can't help but want to kiss you

He actually loves your food though, he thinks that you should open a restaurant because people from all around the world would come to eat your out-of-this-world cooking

And then, you clean up after him perfectly, leaving him to be able to go to bed

And he walks into a spotless room, every speck of clothing or dust taken care of

Yup… he really is gonna want to cling to you as a thank you

☆~Reo Mikage

Ughhhghfh my man

Okay but in all seriousness, he appreciates and loves you for everything!

Reo loves that you're always willing to clean, but he wishes that you would ask him to help every once in a while

He does really like coming home to a hot meal waiting for him, but he has to crash into your arms first

Then, while he's eating, he watches you clean and sweep around the house, but what he really wants is you to sit down and enjoy the meal with him

He'll tell you how much he loves you, not intending for you to get so flustered, so he'll kiss you lots as an apology, but tell you he seriously needs to compliment you

[princessmisery666]

The Full Seresin Service - Part 2 of 3

Series Summary: You and Jake have been dancing around each other for a while. The Dagger Squad set it up so that the dancing stops, but a case of miscommunication could ruin it all.

Summary: The rules are set, the deal is made, and the Full Seresin Service begins. Nothing could possibly go wrong. Right?  

Warnings/Genres/Troupes: Fluff, flirting, teasing, smut, miscommunication.

W/C: 5.2k

Characters: Unnamed female reader (you/she/her), Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin, Natasha ‘Phoenix’ Trace, Javy ‘Coyote’ Machado. 

Pairing: Hangman x Female Reader. Phoenix x Coyote.

Notes: Reader has a call sign. 

Beta(s): @deanwinchesterswitch - thanks for saving the smut section 😄 // all mistakes are mine. Special shoutout to @writercole

Graphics: made by me on Canva.

Master Lists: Series // Top Gun Maverick // Main

I do not give consent for this or any other of my works to be reposted/reworked or translated on to any other account or platform.

You take your bottle of wine and a glass to the room. Your credit card will not thank you, but you don't care right now. You need to drown your sordid thoughts of Jake dropping that fluffy white towel and showing you what’s beneath it.

While juggling the bottle, a glass, your phone, and book, you manage to slip the keycard in and elbow the door handle down, using your butt to open the door and shuffle into the room. 

“Oh crap,” Jake grumbles.

He grabs his T-shirt from the end of the bed, but it's too late. You’ve seen it all, and it doesn’t help that he cups himself, the fabric of the shirt perfectly shapes his cock. He has to be doing it on purpose.

“Sorry,” you say, but don't bother turning around now that he’s partly covered up.

“What are you doing back here?” It’s more of an accusation than a question. “I saw you in the bar.”

“I didn’t feel like reading after all,” you say, walking further into the room and placing the bottle on the nightstand. “What are you doing back here?”

“I lost concentration too,” he says, “came back to change, was gonna work up a sweat in the gym.”

“You brought gym gear?”

“Like you didn’t.”

Urgh. You hate that he knows that you did. You never planned to do a full workout. After all, you're on vacation, but you’d have done some light cardio at least.

You backtrack, annoyed at yourself that you're predictable or that he knows you're better than you like. “And I didn’t say I lost concentration. I’m not that easily swayed.”

He snorts a chuckle, “Could’ve fooled me.” His cocky smirk spreads wide. “You can’t keep your eyes on my face.”

Of course, your eyes betray you, drifting down to his crotch and back up again. “Well, that’s because I’m not blind, and I saw everything and can still see it ‘cause you're holding it like a…a…dick.” You realize your mistake and quickly try to correct it. “I don’t mean a dick like a cock. I mean, you’re a dick!”

Jake laughs, an actual stomach laugh, and you do not take to being laughed at lightly. You grab a pillow from the bed and launch it at him. Naturally, Jake, being Jake, catches it with one hand and replaces the tee with the pillow. 

“Better?” he asks smugly. “Now you can’t see it.”

“Whatever,” you sneer.

“That’s not a yes.”

“Jake,” you scold. “You promised you wouldn’t annoy me. And you’ve already annoyed me by letting Javy and Natasha set this whole thing up, so just stop, please.” 

“Wait? Set what up?”

“Don’t play dumb ‘cause I know you’re not.”

“Pretend I am.”

“The whole fuckin’ dagger squad set it up so we’d team up and win to send us here to…” Your arms flail around, searching for the word, but it doesn’t help, and you drop them, defeated. “I don’t even know what.”

Geez. You hate how flustered he makes you. When you are face to face and not in a cockpit, you always have to be careful about what you say. You're always conscious of how he can misconstrue something or turn it into innuendo. 

“Cosmo, I swear I didn’t know anything about that.” he pleads for you to believe him. “Coyote gave me the ice cream clue, but honestly, at the time, I thought he was playing me.”

“It doesn’t matter,” you say softly. “We’re here now, so can we just do what we said we’d do and stay out of each other’s way.”

“I will, I promise,” he states. “But I really need you to know I had no hand in setting this up. Us teaming up or winning, or you walking in here and seeing me naked ‘cause that’s disgusting, creep-level shit, and I swear it’s purely coincidence. Coyote texted me about you, and I needed an outlet, so I was going to work out, I swear.” 

“Fuck,” you huff, “Coyote and Phoenix strike again. She texted me, and I needed to stop thinking about it, so I came back here to drink away my…” 

“Feelings.”

“Thoughts.” You correct with an incredulous look. “I don’t have feelings for or about you, Hangman.”

“That’s bullshit,” he states. “You avoid being alone with me ‘cause you don’t trust yourself.”

Shit. He really does know you better than you thought. But you're saved by the bell, or rather the knock on the door. You walk to answer it and hear Jake moving around. You hope he’s dressing to go to the gym.

You take the ice bucket from the concierge and thank him before closing the door. So as not to get another peek at Jake, you keep your head down as you make your way back to the wine on the nightstand. You pour a glass and put the bottle in the ice. If Jake weren’t there, you’d probably swig from the bottle. You need to be done with the conversation and Jake.

“I’ll leave you alone,” he says sincerely. “If you answer me one thing.” 

You gulp half a glass of wine and wipe your mouth with the back of your hand. “What?”

“Why are you resisting this?”

“Honestly,” you sigh, turning to face him. He’s pulled on a pair of boxer briefs but nothing else. It makes it slightly easier to talk to him. “I’m not a true member of the Dagger squad. You all have this deep bond I’ll never be a part of. I had to earn my place, and sometimes, I’m still an outsider.”

“That’s not true,” Jake argues. “You’re one of us. None of us ever think otherwise.”

“Maybe,” you shrug with a half smile. “But you have a reputation, Hangman. You’re not exactly the stable relationship kind of guy. A couple of weeks with someone is the most you can manage. I know if I gave in to you, you’d get a ‘atta boy’ and proud slaps on the back, but me, I’d lose the respect of our friends.”

“You mean the friends who set this up?” he asks. 

He has a point, and he knows it too. You're silent for too long, and he slowly makes his way around the bed to stand in front of you. “You want this as much as I do. We make a good team. Scrap that. We’re the best team in the air. I wanna know if that translates to the ground, too. There’s something between us that each of us is trying to ignore and clearly failing miserably.” 

You laugh lightly because he’s right. “There’s nothing but lust between us, Jake,” you counter. “We want what we can’t have, the low-hanging forbidden fruit.”

“Ouch,” he laughs. 

“Don’t pretend you're not an easy lay,” you jest. 

The dig of his promiscuity doesn’t deter him. He steps closer, his eyes soft and his tone sincere. “Give me a chance,” he suggests. “A weekend pass. We’ll keep it between you and me. We’ll eat the forbidden fruit, and it’ll be our secret.” he winks. “No one has to know.”

He’s right. Again. No one would need to know, and they’d have no way of finding out. Sure, Hangman could be a douche and tell them, but what proof would he have?

He’s already wearing you down, so there’s no need for the extra, “I promise I’ll make it the best weekend of your life. No-holds-barred. Full Jake Seresin service,” but it’s nice to know he’s committed.

“You know I’m seeing someone. Klay, remember him?” 

“Please, that fizzled out a week ago for you,” he jeers. “You’ve seen him a total of three times in the last five weeks. Two of those were drinks at the Hard Deck, and I gave you a ride home. If I know you as well as I think I do, you’ve got a text saved in your notes telling him you don’t want to see him again. You're just waiting for the right time.”

You really need to put some distance between your personal and professional life. 

“I have two conditions,” you say. 

He nods, smile already morphing to an air of smugness. “Anything.” 

“Whatever does or does not happen, we remain professional. It doesn’t affect our work.”

“Done.” 

“No one knows anything,” you say sternly. “They can guess and speculate, but nothing is ever confirmed.”

“Done.” he holds his hand out for you to shake, but you have other ideas. Stepping into his personal space, you deliver a gentle kiss to his lips. 

His reaction is immediate. It’s a flurry of caressing, groping, and clothing being removed. A hand cradles the back of your head, and the other finds purchase on your hip. The press of his flesh against yours is electric, and you shiver as his tongue sweeps over your bottom lip.

Jake moans as you open up to him, deepening the kiss. His hand slips to your ass cheek as he slowly shuffles you both toward the bed, pink lips now suckling on your neck. You laugh as you both tumble onto the mattress when he misjudges the distance. He’s quick to follow as you shuffle toward the headboard, his mouth latching onto a breast, and his tongue swirls over the taut nipple.

“F- fuck,” you whimper as you arch into him.

Sharp teeth gently graze the nub, and he mumbles, “You have beautiful tits,” as he shifts to suck the neglected nipple into the damp heat of his mouth. Jake’s hands rest on your hips as he knees closer between your legs. A hand replaces his mouth, kneading your breast as he sits up. “I’ve wanted you like this for a long time.”

“Well, now that you’ve got me, what’s your plan?” you snark, eyes mere slits as you stare up at his pretty face. The smirk you typically want to smack from his smug features is now inexplicably sexy as he pops a brow.

“Well, I was thinking maybe a little begging…”

The hard pinch to your pebbled bud contrasts with the soft brush of fingers up your thigh, and your walls clench as goosebumps race across your flesh.

“Maybe a little screaming.” Jake leans forward and presses a hand into the pillow next to your head as the other splays over your stomach, thumb lightly brushing your clit.

You tilt your hips, seeking friction, and he chuckles, shifting his hand up and away from where you need him. Refusing to give him what he wants so easily, you bite your lip to keep the plea locked away.

“Now, now, none of that. I want to hear you.” Jake nips at your bottom lip, pulling it from between your teeth. At the same time, he slips two fingers into your already slick heat, causing you to jerk and moan loudly. “There we go.”

Not wanting to give him the upper hand – you silently chuckle at the unintentional pun – you reach down and encircle his dick with a gentle squeeze.

The steady pump of his fingers falters as he growls, “Shit!” But he grasps your wrist to halt any movement on your part. “Nope. Not yet.”

“Jake,” you whine, dragging out his name. “That’s not fair.”

“I haven’t heard any begging yet.” The pressure of his grip increases, and he pulls his fingers from inside you, slowly licking each one clean as he stares you down.

You hate to admit how easily he got you worked up, but your body betrays you. You’re right on the precipice, and you want him to send you over the edge in the best way. Loosening your hold on his throbbing dick, you whimper, “Please…”

“What was that?” He releases your wrist, capturing your hand and entwining your fingers as he pushes them into the pillow above your head. “Do you need something?”

The smug smile is back, and you have reverted to wanting to slap it off his face, but instead, you give in and plead, “Please… please… I want you to make me come,” while plotting your revenge.

“That’s better.”

He squeezes your hand and swiftly pushes his fingers back inside you as his thumb circles your clit. 

Jake is as adept with his hands in the bedroom as he is in the cockpit of a fighter jet. Within moments, you’re screaming his name, your free hand gripping the back of his neck, your inner muscles contracting tightly around the fingers pressed against that sweet spot.

“Damn,” Jake groans, “that’s so hot. But we’re just getting started.”

Jake struts into the bathroom and presses himself to your back, resting his chin on your shoulder. He smiles at your reflection in the mirror while you set your toiletries out on the countertop. He lived up to his reputation, and after a few rounds of him making you come with his tongue, fingers, and cock you decide to shower to give you both some time to recover.

“You're getting all clean just for me to make you dirty again,” Jake smirks, kissing your shoulder and scrapping it away with his teeth.

“You can get me as dirty as you like,” you say, “but I need to shower.”

“Seems like a waste, but okay.” he shrugs and holds up the room service menu. “Do you want more wine or water?”

“Both,” you chuckle, “we’re gonna need to hydrate.”

“Copy that,” he says before smacking your ass and walking back into the room to put the order in.

You overindulge in the shower because the water pressure is impressive, and the waterfall showerhead is calming. You also need a minute, or ten, to get yourself in check. The sex is phenomenal, but Jake has surprised you. Shockingly, he’s respectful, attentive, and not as selfish as you expected. He constantly checked in to make sure you were okay, and that you liked what he was doing, and though he rarely needed it, he asked for direction. 

You recognize this is dangerous ground to be walking on, but it’s only a weekend, two nights of surrendering to your desires, and then it’s over. You can do this.  

There’s little point in dressing again. Jake is sure to have you naked and moaning again soon enough, so once you’ve showered, you opt for a t-shirt and clean underwear - you need to be somewhat presentable when room service arrives.

You're pulling the garment over your head as you leave the bathroom, but you freeze as soon as your head is free.

Jake is standing beside the prepared table, wearing nothing but a smile and a white towel slung over his arm. The dimmed lights and the candles dotted around the room create dancing shadows on the walls. The table is set for two - silver serving trays with large round lids hiding the delicious-smelling delights beneath them, and a bottle of wine is cooling in the ice bucket. A single rose in a slim vase adorns the center of the table, with a small gift-wrapped box set in front of it.

“Jake,” you gasp, unable to hide the shock.

His smile is full of charm and pride at the reaction. “I told you,” he says, walking closer, “full Seresin service.”

“I’m getting more naked butler vibes,” you jest, accepting his offered hand and letting him lead you to the table.

He laughs, pulling out your chair, “Same thing.” Quickly, he rushes around to his side, picking up the gift and handing it to you as he sits down. “I swear I picked this up before the whole setup and sex thing. It‘s meant as a thank you for letting me join you.”

Intrigue has you ripping off the fancy bow and paper with perhaps too much enthusiasm. It’s a bottle of your favorite perfume, thoughtful, expensive, and unexpected.

“You said it was your favorite back at the store,” Jake explains. 

“Thank you.”

It’s a lovely gesture, and though you don’t want to think about it, you can’t help but wonder how many women have been charmed by the Full Seresin Service. He clearly knows what you want, the romance of it all, but come Monday morning, this will all be a distant memory.

The following day is a blur of sex. Jake doesn’t hold back, and you each teach the other a thing or two. He takes a shower around four and has some kind of epiphany while seemingly enjoying the fancy shower because he exits with a wide grin and a burst of enthusiasm. 

“Do what you need to get ready for a fancy event,” he says.

“What?” you question, watching him pull on sweats. “I didn’t pack anything to wear to a fancy event, Jake.”

“Trust me,” he says, sitting on the chair and slipping his sneakers on. “Take a shower, do your make-up, leave the rest to me.”

“Where’re you going?” 

He grabs his wallet and phone, swipes the room key from the top of the dresser, and gives you a swift kiss. “Trust me,” he says again, leaning back to look at you. “I won’t be long, you’ve got an hour.”

He’s true to his word, and less than an hour later, he returns carrying three shopping bags and a proud smile. 

You’ve applied light make-up and styled your hair, “You look good.” Jake compliments. “Here,” he hands you the largest bag and one of the smaller ones. “Take them in the bathroom, but don’t come out until I tell you.”

He’s far too excited, but you don’t protest his instructions, intrigued by what the big surprise is. 

In the bathroom, you pull the garment out of the bag - a long, bronze, cowl-neck chiffon dress. It’s beautiful and undoubtedly expensive because he’s already removed the tags. There are strappy heels to match in the other bag.

You slip the dress on over your head, careful not to touch your hair, and it instantly makes you feel sexy. The fabric is soft, and the color looks good on you.

“Ready when you are,” Jake calls.

After putting the shoes on, you take a few extra moments to check your reflection, twisting left and right. It’s not the kind of dress you can wear underwear with, and you shuffle your panties off. Now, the gesture of the dress makes a little more sense. You assume there’s something in it for Jake, too.

Jake gasps as soon as you step out. “Wow.” his mouth remains in the O shape while you twirl for him. “Damn, you look… wow.” 

You look him up and down - black suit pants, formal shoes, his shirt and jacket are the same bronze color as your dress. He looks edible, but before the drool can escape your mouth, he’s in your space.

His arms wrap around your waist, pulling you in close to him. He nips your ear. “Maybe we forget the rest of the plan, and I’ll just fuck you in this dress instead.”

“I mean, that is the deal,” you laugh, scrapping your nails down the nape of his neck, “but I’m intrigued about the rest of the plan.”

“Come on,” he grins, taking your hand and leading you out of the room.

The room is filled with joy. Everyone is smiling and happy, people chatting and dancing, eating the canapes being served by the wait staff. Jake feels giddy. He has no other word for it and brushes it off as the atmosphere in the room, but he knows better. It’s you, or rather the two of you.

It feels right. Like the last puzzle piece falling into place after months of trying to figure out the complex picture.  

Jake senses you’re nervous, eyes darting around the room, sipping your drink too often. “Relax,” he says, placing a reassuring hand on the small of your back.

“How can I?” you ask, “we’re gate crashing a wedding.” 

“Act like you belong,” he advises, “We look like we belong. Stop worrying.” He catches a server as they pass, grabs two fresh glasses of champagne from the tray, and hands you one. “To the bride and groom.” 

“Whoever they are,” you toast.

Jake keeps his hand on the small of your back as you each watch the celebration for a while. It’s not only to assure you he’s there but also to make sure anyone looking, and he’s seen a few men looking, knows that you're with him.

“So, Jake,” you start, wistful and light as you turn your back to the room and focus on him. “Is this your end goal? Marriage? Kids? The whole nine yards?”

“Definitely,” he nods, “someday.”

You can’t hide your expression, even though you try by taking a delicate sip of your drink. 

He cocks his brow. “Why does that shock you?”

“It doesn’t, not really. You're a family guy. I’ve seen that on family days and heard you call your sister, but” you grimace around in an apologetic tone, “you don’t exactly pick the settling-down types.”

“Ha,” he laughs. “Okay, that’s fair.” He sobers a little, mind reeling at the list of exes he knows you're aware of to have made that conclusion.

“You tend to go for the jealous, insecure, toxic type,” you explain. “And that’s not to say you’re not as toxic sometimes, but there’s a pattern.”

He scoffs in offense. “Wait a second, when have I been the toxic one?”

“Laura.” You say without hesitation. “You let her believe you and me were screwing because you wanted to break up with her.”

“No, no, no,” Jake corrects, “you got that all wrong. I did break up with her and she assumed it was because of you. That’s not my fault.”

“Did you explicitly tell her we weren’t sleeping together?”

He shrugs, laughing around the rim of his glass. “No, ‘cause I was too busy trying to sleep with you.”

You shake your head, rolling your eyes. “And Nicole?”

“Okay, yeah, she was just a crazy person.”

“I know!” you remember. “She threw a bottle at me in the Hard Deck. If it weren't for Nat’s cat-like reflexes, I’d have a scar right now.”

“That was some kung-fu master shit she pulled. I think that’s what made Coyote fall for her.”

“Don’t change the subject, Lieutenant,” you say. “What about Kate? I had to pretend to be your pregnant wife to get her to leave you alone.”

“Point made, toxic, jealous, and insecure.” he agrees. “I guess I’m not ready to settle down yet, so I keep making bad decisions.”

“Well, what’s one more?” you wink. 

His heart skips, and he feels a little sick. You’re not a bad decision. In fact, you're probably the only good decision, women-wise, he’s made since he was a teenager. 

You're the take-back-home type of girl. The kind of woman he’d proudly introduce to his family. Though the predecessors who had the privilege didn’t work out, he feels if it were to end the same with you, you’d forever be the ex that his family continued to invite to family functions, and his mom would sigh and tell him he’d lost a good one every time she saw you.

“You are not jealous, insecure, or toxic, Cosmo,” Jake says. 

“Exactly,” you laugh. “So clearly not your type.”

He doesn’t correct you, even though you are absolutely wrong. “What about you?” Jake asks. “You want the whole nine yards?”

“I guess, with the right guy.” You finish your drink and put the empty glass on the table. “Okay, if we’re doing this,” you say, “let's do it right. Mr Seresin, may I have this dance?” 

He accepts your offered hand and leads you to the dance floor. A few people give you odd looks, trying to place who you are, but it’s easily ignored.

Jake’s raging boner after one and a half slow songs and perhaps too much winding and grinding for a public place is not so easily ignored. “Let’s get out of here,” you whisper, and he gladly takes you back to the room.

The sex after the wedding was mind-blowing. Jake doesn’t know how, but every time, it gets better. He feels the butterflies in his stomach every time you touch him, casual touches, a brush of his hand, a lazy sleep-hazed kiss. 

It’s Sunday afternoon, the last night, and Jake knows without a doubt that he’s not ready to let this go. It’s not just about the sex, which is fucking - excuse the pun - amazing, but it’s the intimacy of it all too.

You're different. In the confines of the hotel room, you're freer, shameless, and adventurous, revealing secrets that only make him want you more. The pillow talk is deep and meaningful and, at other times, fun and light. Both make him want to talk to you as much as fuck you. 

He lies on the bed, watching you pack your suitcase. The items you won’t need in the morning. “Urgh,” you groan, “I hate packing.” 

“Me too.”

“I wish I was that last-minute kinda person,” you say, folding a clean t-shirt and placing it neatly in the suitcase. You haven’t had much use for the clothes you packed. 

Jake cocks his brow at you in the mirror, “You are wasting precious fuckin’ time.”

“I know,” you say with an apologetic grimace. “The weekend pass expires at midnight. But I can’t not do this.”

He laughs lightly, shuffling off the bed, and saunters over, slipping his arms around your waist while you organize your things. “Worth the price of admission?”

“Absolutely.” You smirk at his reflection in the mirror. “Ten out of ten. Would highly recommend.”

“Repeat customer?” he asks, sucking in a breath and holding it while he waits for your answer. He can laugh it off as a joke if the reply is negative, but he hopes it’s positive.

“I’ll leave the money on the dresser,” you squirm out of his embrace, turning to kiss his lips quickly. “Gigolo Jake.”

“I’ve been called worse,” he admits, delivering a harder kiss to your cheek. “I’m gonna take a shower.”  

The shower is running, but he’s not under the spray. Instead, he’s naked, sitting on the cold closed toilet lid, texting Coyote.

He’s breaking the rules. He knows he is, but he needs to talk it through with someone because what he’s feeling is new and confusing.

<Hangman: I need you to promise me this stays between us. Not even Phoenix can know. 

>Coyote: What’d you do now bro?

<Hangman: Promise me. 

>Coyote: Promise.

<Hangman: I slept with her. 

>Coyote: So?

<Hangman: Repeatedly.

>Coyote: I’m confused. Was it bad or something?

<Hangman: No. It was…

He struggles to find the word, and his cock twitches while his memory replays the last twenty-four hours.

<Hangman: Phenomenal. I wanna do it again and again and again.

>Coyote: 🤣🤣🤣. Sorry to tell you but that’s what happens when you like someone Jake. You go back for more.

<Hangman: Not me. 

>Coyote: Except now you feelin’ some type of way and you’re freaking out.

<Hangman: YES! What the hell man?! It was supposed to be a one-and-done!

>Coyote: Man, I'm the wrong person to ask. I never meant for Nat and me to be a thing but now I can’t imagine not being with her.

<Hangman: Not helping. 

>Coyote: Sorry bro. It is what it is now. Embrace it. 

<Hangman: Embrace it how?

>Coyote: You could start by telling her you actually like her. Do some of that Seresin Speciality romance stuff. 

<Hangman: She has a tattoo low on her hip, a fighter jet in the night sky. I swear there’s a H in the stars. I can’t stop looking at it. It’s like it’s meant to be.  

>Coyote: Wow, you sound like you’re way below the hard deck.

He’s not wrong. Jake’s flying below a level that isn’t safe, and he can either pull the ejection handle or do some pilot shit and finish the mission. 

>Coyote: Phoenix says she’s all for grand gestures and actions speaking louder than words.

<Hangman: 🙄way to keep a promise.

>Coyote: She can read too dude. Sorry.

<Hangman: I forgot you have your text size big enough to read from the moon. 

>Phoenix: 🤣 He does! Now quit stalling. Go tell Cosmo you like her. 

<Hangman: I might have an idea or two for a grand gesture. Thanks for the tip. 

>Coyote: Hey I’m not straining my eyes and having to wear glasses and not being able to fly. 

It probably would have been easier to start a group chat.

Jake decides not to reply. He’s wasting water. Setting his phone on the countertop, he steps into the shower.

He’s not ready to say goodbye to the weekend and go back to reality, and grand gestures should happen somewhere nice and memorable. He needs to set things in motion. 

“Cosmo,” he calls out. 

“Yeah,” you yell back. 

He doesn’t want to scream it at you, so he asks, “Come here, will ya?” while he lathers his hair with shampoo.

He sticks his head out of the shower as you enter the bathroom. You chuckle, smiling as you swipe soap suds off his brow before they trickle into his eye. It’s a sweet and delicate touch, but it sends his heart racing.

He clears his throat. “You’re not scheduled to work till Friday, right?” he asks, though it’s unnecessary because he’s always aware of your schedule.

“Yeah,” you sigh. The reminder brings a touch of reality to the room. 

He feels a wave of nerves but ignores them, hearing Coyote’s voice in his head, ‘Embrace it.’ “How about we stay a couple more nights? I’ll upgrade you to the Premium Seresin Package.”

You chuckle and look a little sheepish when you reply. “Um….yeah, okay. But the same rules apply.”

“Yeah, obviously. I wouldn’t want…”

His phone chiming interrupts, and simultaneously, you both look at the message preview. 

>Coyote: Go chase that flying jet and make her see stars…

“Really?!” you scoff. “Couldn’t even make it back to base before you go shooting your mouth off! What happened to ‘no one has to know’?”

“Cosmo, wait,” he calls as you leave, slamming the door. As quickly as he can, he rinses the shampoo from his hair. “Shit!” There is no towel hanging up, and he has no choice but to exit naked and dripping wet.

You shove your feet into your sneakers, carry-on slung over your shoulder, suitcase zipped and ready to go. “I can’t believe I fell for your bullshit!”

“It wasn’t bullshit,” Jake says, grabbing your wrist to try and get you to slow down. 

“Don’t touch me.” You snatch your arm away. “I can’t believe I trusted you, Hangman. I should’ve known you’d hang me out to dry, too!” You sneer, and the disgust in your expression breaks him a little.

He ignores the jab of hurt that stabs through him, trying again. “Cosmo, I swear it’s not what you think.”

You grab your suitcase handle and march toward the door, but Jake is closer, and he steps in your path. 

He pleads, “Please let me explain.”

“Move.” 

He doesn’t, and instead of asking again, you shove into his shoulder and drag your suitcase behind you. The wheels hit his toes. “Fuck!” he yells, hopping around on one leg, clutching his injured foot before falling onto the bed. “Don’t leave, please, Cosmo.”

But it’s too late. You're out the door and gone.

Part 3 - Didn't Know Then What I Know Now

Tags + Info

@alexxavicry / @deanwinchesterswitch / @fandom-princess-forevermore / @imjess-themess 

/ @justagirlinafandomworld / @leigh70 / @letsbys-library / @shanimallina87 / @wildbornsiren / 

@writercole / @xoxabs88xox / @dempy / @atarmychick007 / @genius2025

 @kmc1989 / @alipap3 / @emorychase

[leah-lover]

Royal support part 3.

Jenni Hermoso x Alexia putellas x royal!reader

Part 1. Part 2

You knew that you didn't have much energy and that the sex would tire you out. However, you didn't realize the extreme extent it would take. You slept for a long time, longer than you planned for. You were awoken by a sharp pain coming from your wound. You rolled your head around in your pillow to try and find some comfort for the pain but you didn't find any. You then forcefully opened your eyes to find an empty bed with only you in it covered by a blanket. The blanket which was originally of baby blue color turned into a darker more damp version. You were quick to realize that your wound had been bleeding and the blood leaked through to the blanked. You lifted it up slowly hissing through the pain. You couldn't get up or reach for your phone or your purse so you resulted in calling for your lovers to help.

“ Jen, ale.” You semi-yelled.

They quickly responded to your cry. Their reaction to you got you startled. In their defense their lover was naked bleeding and her blanket was also covered in blood.

“ Jenni, ale, my pain killers in my purse please. “ As soon as you said that Jenni hurried to get you a glass of water while Alexia got you medicine.

“ Hey where does it hurt? Do we need to take you to the hospital? Or call Antonio.?” She said as calmly as she could.

“ No mi Reina I am gonna be fine just get me the first aid kit from the bathroom please “

“ I think we could be better off if you called somebody” reaffirmed Alexia.

“ You are all I need right now. Just please go get the kit.” You said with a more stern tone. She did as she was told and she came back in time with Jenni.

“ I don't like this amor, let's call a professional.” insisted Alexia.

“ My answer is still no. If we do, we can kiss this relationship goodbye. They will not allow me to see you again. And I can't do that. I don't want to do that. I need you my love please. “

“ Maybe that's not such a bad idea. You got shot coming to see us, now you are re-injured after we had sex. This is not possible, we will never last. You are the damn heir to the Spanish throne.” Said Jenni.

“ I am gonna presume this is coming from a place of worry for me and not something else.” You respond in denial.

“ No amor, I Believe Jenni is right.” Added Alexia.

“ I can't believe you are giving up on us. After everything we have been through, I believed in our love against all odds. I love you god damn it and i am not letting anything stand against us.” Tears start to uncontrollably fall from your eyes.

“ Amor calm down please, let's take care of this wound first.” Said Alexia after taking your face in her hands. She then helps you lay down and she and Jenni take care of your wound by cleaning and redressing it to the best of their capabilities. Tears still stream on your cheeks partly because of the pain and your lover's words. Jenni sees this and goes to your side, runs her hands through your hair and whispers sweet nothings in your ear.

After Alexia was done, they helped you get dressed. All you wanted to do was kiss them again like it was the last time you will see them. The kisses were passionate and soft, but you couldn't stop your tears from going to the surface.

“ I can't live without you. Fuck royalty, I can step down from royal duties, live in Barcelona with both of you. I don't want to be queen. I want to be your partner l, I want to live with you and support you. To hell with the royal family. You are my family.” You manage to say through your tears.

Jenni and Alexia exchange some looks you couldn't understand. What you were offering was huge. You would leave your family, your world and everything you have ever known.

The three of you stayed there with all options now open. Your relationship could stay like it is, you could break up, or you could leave the royal family for them.

[orange-demons-deactivated2024]

Might I have hcs of Bosch, Ed and Luke(or you can do one of them, if that's what you're comfortable with!) having a short s/o? My 4'11 ft ass thinks that hugging them would be like having them as heavy blankets <3

combining these two asks together! man, low 5ft, am i short? is 5'3 considered short? no one in the comments answer that. i will not be responding ( ; ω ; )

Bosch - 5'7 ft

Compared to Bosch, your height difference is relatively reasonable.

He's actually a lot more conscious about your height than you were and has an overwhelming urge to protect you because of it. 

The first time he noticed your height, was when you two were hauling large equipment around the gym. And you stubbornly huffed, saying you could help despite Coach’s warnings.

So now here you were, crumbling under the weight of the heavy machinery. 

“Lift it higher, it’s slacking on your side.” He said, adjusting his grip in case it spontaneously fell. 

“This is literally the highest my arms can reach.” 

Safe to say, he doesn’t let you get near the equipment room after it came crashing down on your feet. 

Whenever you talk to him, he glances at the top of your head before shooting back down to your eyes.

And one time mid-conversation he reached down to pat it. 

You were just so...tiny.

But he snapped out of his thoughts and pulled his hand back embarrassingly after he realized what he had done. Please don't ask him about it because he didn’t know why he did that either.

Bosch thinks the biggest problem he’s encountered regarding your height, had to be moving through large crowds. Mostly because he lost you a couple of times due to how easily you blended in with everyone else.

He even makes sure to hold your hand when walking in front of you, so you don't get pushed apart.

He does give you more leeway than other people due to your height.

Like when you mess up something of his or accidentally wear his gym clothes.

Bosch isn't too tolerant of most people but he won't be as harsh on you.

And if someone brought it up to him, he just shrugs and says "So?" 

But regardless of it all, Bosch is still the small spoon in bed. 

He likes the feeling of being cradled in your arms, as he pulls you closer, with his hands linked around your torso. He finds comfort in you all the same, but now there's a hint of protectiveness that comes with it.

Ed - 6 ft

Ed honestly thought you were a kid when you first approached him and he told you to run back to your parents because he wasn't in the mood to babysit you.

So yeah, he knows firsthand how people see you.

That whole thing, about losing you in a crowd doesn't happen because you two would never be caught in one in the first place.

Partly because he hates being in them and no crowds of people ever formed at night.

Although he doesn't constantly make jokes at your expense, he does tease you about it every once in a while. Like when you stand on your tiptoes in an attempt to kiss him.

And instead of giving in to your whims, he'll sit back and watch you struggle.

"Need something?"

Ed knows what you're trying to do, he's just being a dick about it. He wants to see how long you'll drag this out before he finally relents.

He hates to be the one to say it, but you need to work on your intimidation. No one's going to take you seriously because of your height. 

But that's completely different than when he sees people babying you because he'll shut that shit down immediately.

Calls you 'cute' nicknames like Runt, Maus, and Half-Pint.

Ok, maybe they're not that cute, but he doesn't give many people nicknames. So…yay?

Your height, in a sense, does make you appear younger. 

And he finds it funny when Bar owners ID the group because he knows they're trying to single you out. 

Most of his clothes are big on you when you wear them, and his blankets/comforters practically bury you under their weight. You almost gave him a heart attack when he flopped down on his bed, only to hear a muffled squeak from under the covers. 

He looms over you like a threat when he sees people wandering too close. Yeah, you can pack a punch, but it still gnaws at him how easily someone could snatch you up. So you need to be in his line of sight whenever you're hanging out with him.

He may be a bit paranoid but that's because he cares, believe it or not.

Luke - 6'1 ft

If you didn't know you were short before, Luke would've 100% told you that you were.

The first time he considered your height to be an issue was when he saw you struggling to close your fist. He lent you some of his old wraps, so you don’t mess up your hands and land yourself in the ER. 

But when you couldn't throw a proper punch, he undid them, thinking you wrapped it all wrong.

Turns out his hands were much bigger than yours. Much bigger. To the point it practically engulfed yours. So his wraps were close to useless since the extra fabric accumulated around your knuckles. 

He ended up buying you a new set to fit your hands better and taught you various ways to secure it so it doesn't slip off. 

It's just the small things like that he doesn't usually think twice about, that he now has to consider.

He would also have to adjust the equipment in the gym so it's leveled with your height.

Wouldn't want his top student falling behind, now would he?

Loves the way his clothes engulf your form when he drapes them on you. And laughs at how you're practically drowning in it.

Don't be fooled. Even though he's your coach, he's your boyfriend first. So he's not above making comments about your height. "Woah, Didn't see you down there." , "You should drink more milk, I heard it's good for your bones."

Hey, don't get so defensive now. He was just messing with you.

He'll wrap his arms around your waist and hoist you up. Your cute surprised reactions are enough for him to pepper your face with kisses.

Luke is the kind of guy who, if you ask for help to reach something on a shelf, will take it and put it on a higher one. If not, he would hold it over your head and ask for a kiss before he handed it over to you.

All in all, your height is one of the many reasons he adores you and he wouldn't want to change a thing about it.

Jamie - 5'9 ft

Being short around this guy should be written off as a form of corporal punishment, especially for the hell he's going to put you through as long as you're with him.

He's not even the tallest one of the bunch, but he definitely acts like it.

Jamie has an unlimited supply of short names ranging from Ankle-Biter to Short-Stuff. All of which were intended to piss you off.

Occasionally, this guy would scoop you up, saying how cute and tiny you were.

He uses your shoulder as an armrest when leaning on you and laughs if you make a fuss about it.

During the Lunar New Year, the festivities in Hong Hu Lu partied well into the night. Meaning, most of the seats available for the public were being used by the partygoers.

Wanting to find a place to enjoy your food, you asked Jamie if you could use the chair he was sitting on. 

And with a shit-eating grin, he tells you no, but you could sit on his lap for the time being.

Watch out because he'll randomly pinch your cheeks mid-conversation. 

Jamie purposely takes pictures of you from the top to show you how you look from his POV.

Because of your short stature, he gives you piggyback rides back to your apartment whenever you fall asleep beside him.

It's all fun and games when it's just you and him because you know he's not actively trying to hurt your feelings. 

But he doesn't take too kindly to those who think they can comment on your height.

Hypocrite, he knows, but that's because he's your boyfriend so he gets a pass. Not so much other people.

Overall a teasing boyfriend, but in his opinion, your height is definitely one of the best qualities about you.

[soulsforsales]

You take care of the Moon boys when they are sick <3

Warning/triggers: mild angst, fluff, fluff, fluff (just a lot of it <3), no use of Y/N, google translated Spanish

A/N: I had so much fun writing this ;)

Steven

You wake up to the sound of Steven coughing. He's in the kitchen making coffee for the both of you, as always. You walk up to him, hugging him from behind and trailing kisses down his neck.

'Good morning, hon,' you whisper, 'Good morning, love.' Steven feels hot, well, he is hot (duh) but right now he feels heated up.

Your brows furrow as you move beside him, 'Are you okay?' You ask but Steven abruptly pulls away from you and sneezes, covering his face with his elbow. 'Do you have a fever?' You ask again, placing the back of your hand against his forehead. 'No, I am fine,' he says shaking his big hands that were partly covered by the long sleeves of his t-shirt in front of his face. He coughs again.

'No you are not.' You say, taking the coffee cups from his hands. 'Love, you don't - 'Steven.' You don't give him the chance to finish, 'get in bed. You should rest, no work for you today.'

'I'll bring you coffee and cookies and meds you are sick, you need rest.' You tell him, already working on the coffee. 'Alright...' Steven says before kissing you on the cheek and making his way to the bed.

You walk up to Steven with a tray of coffee, the cookies he liked the best, and his meds. He sits up in bed, 'Love, you didn't have to -' 'Of course, I had to,' you say, sitting next to him in bed.

You two spend the rest of the day cuddled up in bed, binge-watching your favorite TV shows and movies.

Your head is placed on Steven's shoulder, kissing his neck and jaw. Steven was touch starved, you knew it and you'd made it your mission to give him all the touch he'd ever missed having.

'Don't you have work, darling?' Steven asks. You grin, 'I'm calling in sick,' you tell him as your lips meet his. Steven looks into your eyes, 'if you keep going on, you will have to call in sick,' he says. You kiss him anyway. 'That doesn't sound so bad to me,' you whisper, his nose brushing against yours.

By the evening, Steven has taken a good five hours of sleep while you completed some work. He feels much better when he wakes up and walks up to you. 'Let's get out of here,' he says, placing his chin on your head. You turn to him, taking your glasses off, 'you sure? Do you feel better?' You ask. Steven smiles at you, 'tons. Thanks to you,' he says, kissing your head.

You both grab your jackets and walk out of the apartment. You spend your time strolling in a park, eating burritos, and drinking hot chocolate.

It's a nice day but being with Steven makes it perfect. Everything feels perfect when you are with him. He's undoubtedly the best thing that ever happened to you.

You love him so much, you could burst from the feeling alone.

By the time you reach Steven's apartment, you have sneezed three times (you know because Steven was counting) and Steven's getting worried.

'I told you, love' he says when you are standing in front of the apartment door, 'you are going to catch a fever staying close to me. Look at you now,' he sounds concerned. But you chuckle, throwing your arms around his neck, 'it's fine,' you tell him, 'it means more cuddles and hot chocolates after all, doesn't it?'

Steven's concerned for you but you look so cute smiling like this that he can't help but smile with you. 'Maybe,' he says, pulling you closer by the waist.

Marc

You wake up with Marc sleeping next to you. He's cuddled up with you, his head resting on your chest. It's weird because usually Marc's up and about before you are. Reading the newspaper or grocery shopping or simply going on a walk. But today he was here and you liked it.

You push your fingers through Marc's hair and kiss his head. He feels warm. Marc always feels warm when he wakes up but today he is burning up.

'Marc,' you whisper, close to his ear - not wanting to wake him up. 'Mhm-hmm', he replies, nodding into your chest. 'Are you okay?' You ask. He looks up at you, his brown eyes looking like pools of honey in the sunlight streaming through the window. 'I'm fine.' He replies gruffly. His face is red. Awfully red.

'Are you sick?' You ask again, placing your palm on his cheek, 'you're burning up,' you mutter. 'No. I said I'm fine,' his voice is rougher than usual. He is absolutely sick.

Marc tries to move away from you but you wrap your arms around him before he can, he grumbles but ends up cuddling with you anyway.

Your sweet, grumpy boyfriend, oh, how you loved him.

Both of you stay like that for some time. But eventually, you have to get up and go about the day.

Marc wants to go to work. You tell him he can't but he wouldn't listen to you.

'Babe, you're sick.' 'No, I'm not.'

'I checked your temperature, honey, you need rest. And medicines.' Marc makes a face at you. 'I told you -' 'Marc,' your voice is much more stern now. 'Please, Marc, babe, it's one day. Stay in bed, yeah?' This time he doesn't argue.

You know Marc's stubborn but you won't let his stubbornness get into the way of his health.

You put his favorite soup for cooking and go out to get some medicines for him. Thankfully, he stays in bed.

When you come back home, Marc's fast asleep. You watch him like that. Sleeping so peacefully, like a child.

You know why Marc's the way he is. He didn't have a... great childhood. Well, let's be honest, he had an awful, traumatizing one, and for a long time, he has taken care of himself all alone.

You can understand why it's hard for him to ask for help or even accept help and love when it's given to him. It's hard for him to let people in, to let himself be taken care of.

But Marc is your boyfriend which means that somewhere, somehow you did something right and he let you in. And just like that, you will let him know that it's okay to let you care for him. That it's okay to be vulnerable in front of you, that he doesn't have to hide anything.

You make some coffee for yourself and get in bed with Marc. You are sitting up, reading a book and his head is in your lap, your fingers moving through his curls.

You drop the book after some time just to admire the person in front of you. He was so beautiful it made your heart flutter. You could look at him forever.

When Marc wakes up after a few hours he's still grumpy and tired.

'Just take the medicines, love,' you insist. Marc shrugs, 'Don't need them. I feel fine.' 'Marc-' 'You don't have to worry about me,' he cuts you off.

Tears gather at the corner of your eyes. You don't mean to cry but it happens anyway. You are not irritated, you are not tired of Marc. You could never tire of him. But you are scared. You are scared that he won't let you help him and it'll get worse. It's just a fever but you can't help but want it to go away and Marc to feel better.

Marc's expression softens when he notices the tears in your eyes. He closes his eyes for a moment and sighs, 'I'm sorry,' he says, 'didn't mean to sound like that,' he takes the medicines from your hand.

After that Marc doesn't fight it. He lets you give him a massage, eats what you cook for him without a word, and by the time he takes a hot shower he is feeling very much better and his fever's gone.

It had been... a day. For Marc and for you. He has been quiet and angry the whole day but at night, finally, he smiles at you, wrapping his arms around you.

'Thank you,' he whispers into your hair. You are sitting in his lap, 'you don't have to thank me, Marc,' you say taking his face in your hands. Marc sighs, 'I know I can be... difficult. I just-' 'No you're not,' you interrupt him, 'not to me... ever,' you say.

Marc smiles, 'I love you,' he whispers before planting a kiss on your lips. You want to reply and tell him you love him too but he's kissing you with everything and you don't want to break the spell.

Jake

You come home to find Jake in the kitchen. He's cooking pasta, you can tell by the smell. Or maybe he's just heating up the pasta you made this morning.

You practically run across the house to get to him and plant a kiss on his cheek, hugging him by the side. 'Hello, babe', you say. But your smile drops the moment you see him. His eyes aren't set and sharp as they usually are, instead they are tired and he looks a bit lousy.

You are confused if it's Steven who's fronting but you know it's Jake when he says, 'Hola, cariño,' he smiles at you.

You push yourself between the kitchen counter and Jake, taking his face in your hands.

'You look tired,' you say. He coughs a little before replying, 'goddamn fever. But don't you worry about it, princesa.'

'You should rest, Jake, what are you doing?' You say, taking his hands in yours. 'Apparently, Khonshu's freaky armor can't protect you from diseases -' he sneezes and curses under his breath.

Okay, Jake hates being sick. He doesn't like it. It makes him feel weak and really soft and pathetic for some reason.

You take off his hat and ruffle his curls with your fingers, saying, 'How about you take some rest and I'll get the food? Get in bed, hm?' Jake smirks, snaking his hands around your waist, 'You really do want me in your bed don't you, mi vida?' You roll your eyes at his comment but a blush creeps up your neck. 'Did I forget the part where I said you need to rest?' You say, a smile tugging on your lips. He frowns.

'I don't need rest. What I need is a good fu- 'Jake' you stop him mid-sentence, glaring. 'What?' He shrugs and walks into the bedroom.

You sigh. Your breath going at a rapid speed. Jake really is good at getting to you. He makes you want to kiss him all the time. But, despite everything, Jake always puts things off, neglecting his needs. Like, right now. He won't admit that he is sick. He wouldn't let you look after him but you have to.

You care for him. Deeply. And you have to make sure that he's okay.

You walk into the bedroom with the pasta plate in your hands. Jake's on the bed. He's removed his shirt, and his bare skin glistens in the dim light.

Your breath catches in your throat.

'How do you feel? You ask Jake, sitting by him on the bed.

He mumbles something and wraps his arms around your waist, his head in your lap.

'I am tired, cariño,' he finally admits after a few moments of silence. You smile, 'I know,' you say, raking your fingers through his soft curls, 'It's alright,' you tell him. He lets out a weary sigh and snuggles closer to you. Your back rests against the wall.

Jake doesn't really spend a lot of time with you. He is barely ever fronting. He isn't much of a talker either, he expresses his feelings with his actions more than his words.

It has been some... work, trying to understand Jake. He's like a puzzle you can't solve, but you want him to know you're trying. Because you love him and he deserves everything.

Your eyes fall on Jake's broad shoulders and their slight movement as he breathes. You move your hands to touch his neck. His skin is still hot despite taking the medicines.

You massage his back in slow, brisk movements. For a moment you think he might fight it but he doesn't say anything,

'Feels good?' You ask. He nods in reply.

Jake is different when it comes to the three of them. Unlike Marc and Steven, he's never had a... life. He's always inside, barely ever fronting. He thinks of himself as only a protector of the system. That he's someone Marc needs when things get worse. You don't want him to think of himself like that.

You want Jake to know that he's just as deserving of love as any of them, that he's more than just a protector. He's more than just the worst parts of Marc turned into a person.

He's soft and loving, and the most amazing person you know.

Jake moves, sitting up in bed beside you making you stop abruptly.

'You don't have to go driving tonight, you know?' You say, sitting in front of him. Partly on the bed, partly on his lap, the inside of your knees draped around his thighs.

'Yo se,' he replies with a sigh, 'but I still have to go be the fist of vengeance.' You frown at his comment, 'You deserve a day off I think.' It makes him chuckle.

'Give me your arm,' you whisper, taking his arm in your hands. You thought a good massage would make him feel better.

But, apparently, this isn't what he wants. Jake wraps his palm around your wrist and pulls you to him. Your hands resting on his chest and your faces inches apart and then, he plants a kiss on your lips.

Somehow you trying to give Jake a massage turns into a hot make-out session. Not that you had any complaints. If this was what he needed then you'd give it to him.

Afterwards, you two lay on the bed, your head resting on Jake's shoulder. He's playing with your hair.

He isn't feverish anymore but his skin is still warm.

'How do you feel?' You ask him now, 'Maravilloso, mi amor.' He says and you chuckle as he kisses your jaw.

You might not know everything about Jake but you know that you love him. So much. And that's really all that matters.

[brnesblogposts]

grounded

pairing pedro pascal x reader

warnings umm mentions of death, angst, nobody actually dies though

repost if you liked it please :)

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

All you could hear were the sound of heavy sobs and someone hyperventilating, you could feel someone’s hand on your back and mumbling, are they talking?

You realised you couldn’t breathe and felt water droplets on your skin, it was you. your sobs, now so out of it that you didn’t even notice Pedro trying to get you to look at him.

“Baby look at me, hey..” you finally turned your head, Pedro. Words got stuck in your throat as you just stared at him, eyes wide like a deer in headlights, heart racing, hyperventilating, feeling like you could pass out any second now.

“Deep breathes, in and out” he was showing you what to do, taking deep breathes in while not breaking eye contact, you imitated him, inandout.in and out. in and out.. “there you go” he reassured you and after a few minutes you felt your heart rate slow down, but you still couldn’t form words and continued to bawl into the palms of your hands until you felt his calloused ones take yours and pull you towards his chest.

Head against his heart listening to his heartbeat, Pedro stroking your hair and whispering reassurance to you,

“it’s okay, mi amor”

“you’re safe”

your tears slowing and breathing evening out, you looked up at him and saw the concern in his eyes and then the clock where it read 3:06am, you’d woken him up.

“Sorry” is all you muttered into his creased and damp t shirt from where you had been resting atop his chest, “there’s no need to apologise, mi corazon”

“i woke you” the sadness in your eyes broke his heart.

“i’m just glad you’re okay and i’m not gonna make you talk about what caused this but i’m here if you do want to talk about it”

he wiped your tears with his thumbs, you don’t want to talk about it because you didn’t want to relive it, but it was better than keeping it in “i had a dream- more like a nightmare” you stared at each other and he didn’t say anything, patiently waiting for you to continue on.

“i dreamt that you.. you died..” a pause as you took a breath to try contain yourself, “it felt so real… i thought it was real until i realised where i was and that you were talking to me, but i couldn’t breathe, the thought of losing you- i cant.” your eyes started welling up again and without missing a beat Pedro took your hand and put it to his chest,

“feel that?” softness overtaking his voice.

you nodded, “that’s my heart beat, and it’ll beat for as long as you’re here with me, i am not leaving you, ever. Okay? i’m here, i’m healthy, and i love you mi amor”

Pedro gave your hands a squeeze, partly to ground you but also to show you he’s there with you. he pressed a soft kiss to your forehead and you launched yourself into him, hugging him as tight as you possibly could chanting “i love you” over and over, as if he could disappear at any moment and you had to make sure he knew. He started settling back into bed while pulling you with him tucked up into his side.

“try get back to sleep, hermosa, i’m right here if you need me in the night” he kissed the top of your head and you hung on to him for dear life as you took in the comfort of his presence and closed your eyes, he was here and not going anywhere.

————————-

[borom1r]

WEIRD fuckin ask but we talked about it once and it would not exit the brain. Flavours of neurodivergence within the fellowship: discuss?

OGH. no, good ask. good ask I love it. AUTISM FLAVORED bc that is my own experience :3

Aragorn— autism of the “I Am 100% A Changeling, I Have No Idea How To Relate To Humanity” variety. like yea being partly raised by elves didn’t help but he absolutely wandered around mimicking people to learn how to Behave Like A Person. autism trait absorption for the win!! comes to Minas Tirith and gets a painful crash course in masking, but never quite figured out how to Not stare at someone like a feral cat when he wants something from them (despite the Stare, HATES eye contact)

Boromir— OPPOSITE AUTISM. very direct. EXTREMELY rigid routines. military history special interest (literally just undiagnosed dad autism). probably has food sensitivities but he’s spent so long as a soldier he can just eat anything now. he hates it and he won’t eat a big portion of non-safe foods, but at least he can swallow them. he IS absolutely 100% undiagnosed and doesn’t think there’s anything wrong but if he doesn’t get to perfectly make his bed every morning he will be in a Noticeably Bad Mood for the rest of the day < does not understand that this isn’t normal

Gandalf— oh there’s definitely something going on there, but good luck with figuring THAT out

Legolas— AuDHD king. the autism/ADHD comorbidity is real and he barely bothers to mask. least of all in front of men?? he’s an elf prince and you expect him to act “normal” by human standards? I love how jacked up the Hobbit film timeline is bc Thranduil implying to Legolas “yeah go hang out in Rivendell with a ten year old” is SO funny. canon to me tho. there was a very significant chunk of time where Aragorn was just Mini Legolas. hell world for civilized Rivendell elves. unlike Aragorn, however, prefers very direct eye contact. WILL fully hit you with the 👁️👁️ almost unblinking for a whole conversation

Gimli— I’m gonna be real here. I think neurotypical but in the sense of like. literally nobody cares. dwarves are craftsmen, artisans, smiths, you think they’re going to risk squandering talent simply because somebody needs some accommodations? are you nuts???? like yea maybe somebody’s a Little Weird Sometimes but they can work the forge just fine or tool leather for straps/handle wraps, or draft designs, or stamp metal for decorations, like?? doesn’t particularly grasp the need for labels when you can just work with ppl to figure out what’s best for them + then everyone’s happy. fully has to stew on the fact that Men Don’t Do That, men are actually very rigid about what is socially acceptable and won’t provide accommodations Unless there is a label. wild.

Frodo— autism/depression hell combination. no meltdowns, only shutdowns. auditory processing disorder!! definitely also has poor temperature regulation (CONSTANTLY cold). hey did u know that’s a symptom of ASD? crazy. WILD. anyways. Sam knows he can barely handle the feeling of mittens/gloves so half the time when they’re hanging out is Sam just holding Frodo’s hands so they actually fucking warm up for a bit. not too rigid about Big routines, most of his are Little (always putting a specific amount of sugar in his tea, for example)

Sam— neurotypical but in the sense of my dad where he was just SO used to me being Autistically Strange that he was just like. “well, that’s Strider!” < blissfully unaware. fully just SO used to whatever’s going on w/ Frodo+Merry that it’s Normal to him. like wdym they’re different?? those are just his friends?? hello??

Merry— ADHDDDDDDDDD. and look ik Tolkien said pipeweed is just tobacco but that’s a lie and we all know it, right? right. self-medicating with pipeweed.

Pippin— neurotypical but Pippin-flavored

[aclockmaker]

steddie established relationship argument (mild on the actual arguing) under the cut. ~1700 words. cw discussion of having kids. no teaser because it starts out kind of E rated lol

also on ao3

“Pretty baby,” Eddie said, nose in the back of Steve’s hair, dragging against his scalp. “You’re so sweet, you were so sweet with Emily earlier.”

They’d been playing with Nancy and Jonathan’s 3-month old for the first time.

“Oh yeah?” Steve said, grinding the swell of his ass back against Eddie.

“Yes,” Eddie rumbled, lips against a shivery part of Steve’s neck.

After nearly a year of dating, Steve was used to this flavor of praise from Eddie, but it still worked to calm something deep inside him. And it was exactly because he did feel calm that he said, “So do you finally wanna talk about it?”

Eddie made an inquisitive sound into Steve’s skin.

“Eddie. You know,” Steve said gently, holding himself still. He thought if he played his cards right he might be able to get Eddie to mess around a little, ask him if he wanted to get a baby put in him, that sort of thing.

But when Eddie just kept frowning into Steve’s neck Steve went on—“Kids?”

“Uh huh. What about them?”

“Come on,” Steve said, squirming and then flipping over when Eddie let up.  “You know I want kids, right?” He said it softly, because of course Eddie did know.

Except Eddie froze, just a little, and the whole thing began to feel decidedly unsexy. “Uh,” he said, a notch too loud for the situation.

“Okay, not right,” Steve said, mostly to himself. He’d thought, for sure, that he’d been making no secret of it.

“I mean,” Eddie said, trying to recover. “I totally, yeah, I guess, I know you—like kids and everything.” He chewed his lip like he knew it was lame. Steve rarely saw him so wrong-footed.

“Well, yeah,” Steve said. “I do, but—like last weekend, remember when that dad was arguing with his kids about milkshakes? And I said I wouldn’t make a big deal out of a milkshake with my kids—what’s the point?”

Eddie sputtered. “Okay, that was a hypothetical! I thought! I just thought—and you never said—” Eddie shook his head. “Oh. Six little nuggets.”

“Yes, as you’re so fond of reminding me.” Steve rolled his eyes to show he was joking.

“But, Steve,” Eddie said, sitting up.

Slowly, not wanting to do it, Steve followed.

“I mean—what does this mean? You would want to, what? Marry a woman?” At least Eddie seemed baffled by it. 

“Don’t be ridiculous. I mean I want to do it with you, obviously. Dumbass,” Steve added for good measure.

“With me,” Eddie said, not able to hide the way his eyes went wide.

“No, with Jonathan,” Steve said, annoyed. “Obviously you, man, who else am I in a serious relationship with?”

“Okay, Jesus, give me two minutes to catch up here!”

Guilt made Steve want to let him off the hook but he didn’t think he should have to, really. Steve frowned at his lap, feeling miserable and stuck. He had the unpleasant sense that this wasn’t going anywhere good.

“Is it really so bad?” Steve asked.

“I don’t know!” Eddie said. He stood up, paced restlessly to the opposite side of the room and back. He was wearing only a pair of boxers and he reminded Steve of a caged animal before he even started throwing on his clothes. 

Steve sat quietly in bed as he dressed only partly because he knew it was the thing he could do that would annoy Eddie the most. And Eddie was the one who was leaving, he deserved it. He also did it because he really didn’t know what else to do. Begging Eddie to stay wouldn’t do any good. They both needed space sometimes.

“I don’t even—it’s not that easy,” Eddie said, picking up his wallet and then putting it down again to punctuate it. “It wouldn’t be that easy for us.”

“I get that,” Steve said carefully. “But I thought… it doesn’t have to be a baby. Maybe an older kid.”

“Steve,” Eddie said, looking almost choked up. “Can we—talk about this later?” His voice had turned brusque. “I just need to—clear my head.”

“Yeah, course,” Steve said, feeling stupid and vulnerable still in the t-shirt he slept in while Eddie was dressed. The fight had gone out of him. Eddie just needed to deal with the revelation in his own way. He’d come back. Steve owed it to him to be patient after, apparently, springing this on him.

Eddie paused at the door. “I do love you.”

“I know. You too.”

And then the door was shutting behind him. Steve’s fingers itched to call Robin but for the first time it felt so personal that he decided against it. It was personal for Eddie, too. It belonged to both of them, and, for right now at least, no one else.

Now, if Eddie wasn’t back by the morning, all bets were off.

Steve gave up on sleeping after a frustrating 45 minutes and resigned himself to sitting up at least until exhaustion won out with worry. And right now, worry was putting up a good fight.

Steve put the water on for tea. He wasn’t stupid—he knew that Eddie might not come back. Or, well, he’d surely come back to the apartment either way but he might not ever really come back to Steve after this.

They were serious about each other. A consequence of the years of charged friendship before they’d so much as kissed, maybe, or just a consequence of how well they usually worked together. They talked about spending the rest of their lives together. Something like whether or not they each wanted kids was a big deal—the kind of thing that changed things. Steve had given Eddie an ultimatum. Part of him wanted to backtrack, call Eddie up and say just kidding, I can be flexible about this. But he couldn’t, and besides, he didn’t know where to call (except for how, realistically, he knew Eddie was at his uncle’s or Jeff’s place.)

In the morning, Steve called Robin.

“Oh, babe,” Robin said when Steve explained it, her voice crackling just a little down the line from New York where she was always up early. “Did you sleep at all?”

“About four hours,” Steve admitted. He’d been too wound up for any more and he was sure as hell feeling it now, exhausted and eyes aching. He hadn’t cried, and he spared a thought for the fact that maybe he was kidding himself by not really examining the worst case scenario. “Do you think—I mean, obviously this isn’t a good sign. That he left. But do you think there’s a chance or am I delusional?”

Robin snorted. “There’s more than a chance. He loves you, obviously. But—yeah, he might decide he wants to end things. We know that’s an option.” She said it gently enough that now Steve did feel a little hot behind the eyes.

Today was a Sunday. Their only plans were hanging out with Jonathan and Nancy and Emily more while they were in town. If Steve had to go see them alone—

“I wish there was something I could do,” Steve said miserably. And then the front door opened and there was Eddie, close across the small apartment, looking a little out of breath in the yellow morning light that was pouring in through the window, too cheerful for Steve’s heavy heart. “Oh, shit, Rob, I have to go.”

“Is it—”

“Yeah. Love you.”

“I love you, call me, that’s a threat—”

Steve hung up the phone.

“Uh,” Eddie said. “Robin?”

“Yeah.”

“Hi, Robin,” Eddie said dutifully toward the hung-up phone.

“I’ll tell her,” Steve said, so giddy with relief that Eddie was back that the nothing joke made him want to laugh. “Hi.”

Eddie looked at him. “Hi.”

Steve took a breath. “I’m sorry. For bringing it up during sex, and all. That was stupid.” He’d been feeling guilty some more and that, at least, was a legitimate reason for it.

But Eddie just shrugged. “No, it’s…” He searched for the word. “You thought I knew.” He wore his hair short these days, and it looked like he’d been running his fingers through it.

“Yeah. Eddie, listen—”

“No, just—give me a second,” Eddie said. And then he was going down on one knee, pulling something out of his pocket and holding it out to Steve. It was a simple gold band. It looked well-worn, but it shone in the light.

He cleared his throat. “Steve, I—“ his voice broke. “I’m sorry I don’t have a ring box. I went to the pawn shop as soon as it opened and I didn’t want to wait for another place to—I love you. I got scared when you started talking about kids, because it seems so big. And I just didn’t realize you felt that way, even though, okay, I guess I should’ve. But the more I thought about it the more what really scared me was losing you. I love the idea of you as a dad. You’d make any kid so lucky to have you. I can’t believe you want to do it with me, but if you really do—I’m open to it. So—will you?”

“We can’t even get married, though,” Steve reminded him, perilously close to tears again.

“Psh,” Eddie said. “Fuck the government, I’ll marry you anyway.”

“Eddie, get up,” Steve said, and then the tears were coming. He swiped at his eyes while Eddie stood hesitantly. “Save it, okay? Save the ring. I don’t want it to be like this—to end a fight. I want it to be its own thing. And it’s too soon anyway. It hasn’t even been a year. But—” Steve grabbed Eddie’s hand before he could put the ring back in his pocket. “Yes. Of course I want to marry you.”

Eddie touched his knuckles to Steve’s cheek, pushed aside a tear. “Getting some mixed signals,” he said, looking between Steve’s eyes with his own so full of love it hurt to see. “I’m sorry. And for worrying you.”

Steve sniffed. “I was worried but—I knew you’d come back. I know you.”

“I know you do,” Eddie said. He was still holding the ring. “Do you want to at least try it on? You could wear it on a chain or something—”

Steve put the ring on, and he didn’t take it off until the day in Joyce’s backyard when Eddie held it safe in his pocket until it was time for him to put it back on Steve in front of everyone they loved in the world.

[missrandomdreamer]

Touch

Sir Crocodile x Delphina drabble

finally finished it to post after forever lol working on Smoker and Beatrice's writing still for part 2 <3

Warning: kind of suggestive, language: a bit spicy maybe idk? (They are showering together but nothing explicit ? )

The little trio had found a small island to rest awhile and was greatly appreciative of this island having a bath house and hotel.  However, unfortunately for Delphina the bathhouse only had coed baths. Fortunately though, Delphina, Crocodile and Bones were the only ones seemingly wanting to use it or perhaps they were the only ones staying there. Crocodile paid the innkeeper before the older woman led the trio to their room. She kept giving a side eye to Delphina who didn’t meet her eyes. Delphina was used to people looking at her weird but not in the weird context of her being the lone female between two very large men. She shifted uncomfortably in her posture and tried to make herself smaller. The little frog woman wished she had turned into a frog and just had one of the men carrying her in so she wouldn’t have to get stared at. “Too late for that now.” Delphina thought gloomily as she tried to hide herself behind Crocodile’s massive frame. 

The innkeeper woman with a bad case of kyphosis stopped in front of the door to unlock it. She gave the key to Crocodile before stepping aside,  “Here is your room for the week. Breakfast is at 8 o clock sharp to 10 am. You are free to use the coed bathhouse and we do provide cleaning services for your clothing. Towels, robes and extra blankets and pillows are in the closet there.” She pointed to a closet just across from the entrance of their room. “If you need anything the front desk is open from 7-7, if you want something after or before that you are out of luck. Have a good visit.” She bowed to them and left them, not before giving a look to Delphina and shaking her head before hobbling away. Delphina stuck her tongue out at the woman as she turned her back to her.   Sir Crocodile rolled his eyes and Bonez just shook his head at Delphina’s childishness and went on through the room with Delphina at their heels. 

The room was neither big nor too small, feeling cozy to Delphina. There was a large sliding door that looked out into the gardens,where even now Delphian could hear small frogs starting to croak for the night.  Three comfy looking futons laid side by side, one for each of the guests. Delphina had been used to sleeping in the middle of the two-partly because they wanted to make sure she didn’t escape if she did try to leave them (Which she hadn’t been planning on it) and also because Delphina honestly liked being in the middle, she felt safe with them now.  Delphian laid bags down in front of the middle futon, already retrieving a smaller bag inside that held her toiletries. The frog woman had already learned to make her own shampoo, conditioner and soap then relying on typical  bathroom products. Her sensitive skin made it impossible to to use anything but her own concoctions.  

Crocodile and Bonez dropped their bags to their respective beds on either side of her. Bonez cracked his neck looking between the two. Delphina hoisted her bag into her arms returning the large man's gaze. “I dont know what you guys are doing but I’m going to shower,”Delphina announced.  Before the two could stop her she was already making her way at the room, “I’ll be back in a bit, don’t have dinner without me!” she called. The two men just stared at each other, as they heard her make her way down the hall.

“Are you okay with her just leaving like that?” Bonez asked quietly looking back to the entrance of their room. 

“Ill go with her.” Crocodile answered, already heading towards the door. “Enjoy the peace and quiet while you can,” he gave a smirk to the young man. Bonez lips flickered into a small smile. When Bonez and Crocodile started working again together, they hadn’t minded the silence that usually came between the two. They both liked the quiet, since they were both in some ways very introverted. However, now with Delphina the two hardly ever had any peace or quiet, or a chance to have a word in any conversation. “Enjoy the onsen, Mr.1 you deserve a vacation.” Crocodile bowed his head before leaving down to track down Delphina.

Bonez watched him go shaking his head, he knew there was something between the two but he didn’t say it. He knew it wasn’t just to keep tabs on Delphina but also to be closer to her though he never would have thought the old warlord would go as far as to follow her into a shower room. Still seems his boss was full of surprises.

Delphina folded her clothes neatly into the locker, still looking around her to make sure no one was there. She let out a nervous breath as she quickly wrapped the white towel around her before tiptoeing to the shower area with her small bag in hand. She gently withdrew her homemade shampoo, conditioner and soap setting them up just so on the little ledge in front of her.  It was then she heard the steps of someone behind her. Delphina immediately froze and spun around, body still clothed in her little towel as she looked up to meet the tired gaze of Crocodile. He had yet to strip from his regal clothes to a towel, though his hand had already been removing his ascot. 

Crocodile raised an eyebrow and looked down at the grumpy blushing frog woman. “What?”

“Couldn't you wait to shower after me? I don't want your old pervert eyes looking at me while I shower.”  She put out her chin to try to show her confidence but inside she was freaking out. 

“No.”  He said, taking off his fur collared coat, folding it carefully, then proceeded to unbutton his tight black shirt.

“What about the onsen? Bonez is probably going there? Why do you have to shower right near me?”  Her eyebrows furrowed trying not to get drawn to the fact that the man was stirpping right in front of her eyes and he didn’t care and she honestly should not be watching it still. 

Crocodile paused in mid movement, his masculine large cleavage just yelling at Delphina.  “I prefer the showers, I'm not a fan of baths.”  he said gruffly, shirt finally slipping off of him. Delphina’s eyes widened at the site of his bare muscular back, “If you don’t want me here then why are you staring?”  Crocodile asked, glancing over his bare shoulder, a flicker of a smart-ass smirk on his lips, eyebrow slightly raised.

Delphina immediately changed the color of a red rose and she swished her head away. “I-I was staring and hoping to make you uncomfortable to leave.”

She heard the zipper of his pants making her blush redden, he chuckled, “How about you leave then? If you don't want to shower with me?” Delphian could just imagine him shaking off his pants as he continued to strip. Another bit of a thought of them showering close together…She shook her head to get rid of the thoughts.

“UGH! I am not showering with you first of all Sandy Pants! We are going to be showering next to each other. And why should I leave when I was here first!?” She sputtered holding onto her own towel tightly.

The locker closed and she heard his steps behind her, she couldn’t stop her head from turning to see the large 8 foot giant of a man sit next to her, towel (which was a very small towel) covering up his lower half.  He turned to her, cocking his head slightly, a bored and now annoyed expression came over him.  “Just shut up and shower. You are making a big deal over nothing.” Amusement in his face was gone-she had pushed him and now he was going to be a sourpuss. 

Delphina glared at him but swished her head away, “Fine. Whatever, just don’t go staring at me.”

She turned on the shower and then positioned herself so her back was facing Crocodile. Her towel was still covering her up, if he hadn’t been there she would have at least let it drop to her hips to clean but now she was self-conscious with the man there.  She heard Sir Crocodile huff in amusement. “ I think I deserve something of a peak after you were ogling me with those golden eyes of yours. “

Delphian froze letting the water run in front of her, she turned to glance at him and he was still looking at her, a small lazy smile on his lips now.  She pouted and without much of a thought she dropped her towel, screw it, if he wanted to be an ass then so be it. It’s not like he will like what he sees anyway, he won't look long. (Or so she thought she was very wrong about that.  ) Crocodile’s eyes widened a bit and that smile dropped from his face. She didn’t even  notice the small blush forming on his cheeks as she snapped her face away from him.  “Fine! You want to see me then all you are gonna get is my backside and it’s not gonna be pretty.” She retorted as she now turned on the shower full blast and proceeded to drown her bowed head in the water. 

Crocodile just stared at the woman in front of him. Her front was turned from him but her back and lower buttocks were right there for him to look at and he did so. His eyes wandered over her vitiligo skin admiring the unique patches of lighter color against her caramel skin complexion. He wanted to trace them, she looked so soft and the way her skin hung in certain places she looked irresistibly squishy: a stark contrast to Crocodiles own rough and taunt skin. Crocodile eyes couldn’t leave the masterpiece before him. He hadn’t even turned on his own shower head yet instead he rose and leant over Delphina causing her breath to hitch- she could feel his broad chest touch the back of her head and a shiver ran through her,

“What the hell are you-!?” But the froggy lady voice caught in her throat as she watched Crocodile’s large hand cover the soap she had made, taking it away from her grasp. “Hey! What-”

“Might as well wash your back for you, not like your small little chubby hands could reach it.” he said gruffly, scooting over his chair closer to her. “You could do mine as well- call it even.” 

Delphina sputtered out and as she turned around she had to grab the towel again to cover her chest, “Hey-hey I said we are not showering together this is… “ she paused and met Crocodiles eyes. “This is…showering together..” she murmured, her golden eyes lost in his violet ones.  Crocodile’s gaze was sharp but there was a new emotion she couldn't pinpoint in those eyes, it made her heart beat a bit too fast, his hand still held her soap and he raised an eyebrow. What he said in that husky low tone of his, made Delphina’s mind go blank. 

“Only the back, that’s all I’ve seen of you, so that is all I will wash. Sound good?” Delphina’s face burned, the fucking nerve of this man. Delphina gave him the most heated glare she was capable of, 

“Fine, Croco-Ass I’ll do the same to you then and your stupid hair cause it looks greasy and gross and needs a cleaning.”

Crocodile’s lips twitched to a smile, “Fine, I’ll do your hair then make it even.” his voice practically purred. God she hated him. Delphina gave him a glare, 

“Deal that’s it though and don't make it weird.” She pointed at him, jabbing him in the chest causing a low rumble of laughter to come from him. God she really hated him.  Delphina turned around again, towel dropping back down her hips while she folded her arms in front of her chest, body hunched over. She tried to stop the small tremor that went through her when Crocodile brought the shower head to her back and let the warm water race down it and down her shoulders.He then brought the soap and started to lather her skin, starting with the back of her neck, shoulders and then slowly-agonizingly slowly down her back. This sand man was enjoying this wasn’t he?

To be honest, Crocodile was trying to take in as much detail of her back as he could. He guided the soap around each part of her body tracing the outline of the patches, imagining he was lining them with gold like kintsugi pottery.  He continued to guide the soap around her folds in her skin and dip to her love handles, letting his fingers brush them, he felt Delphina tense underneath his touch. He was gentle though in his touches especially around her stretch marks. She was so soft he fought every urge not to pull her against him and let her softness envelope him. 

“Crocodile…”

“Hm?” 

“I think I’m plenty clean. You can wash the suds off  now.” she sighed and held herself more, “You can't get those light patches out of the skin now matter how hard you scrub.” a half ass laugh came from her lips but Crocodile wasn’t laughing. Crocodile dropped the soap, letting out a growl. Delphina felt a cold wash of fear rush over her, she looked over her shoulder to meet the intense glare of the Crocodile. In a flicker of movement he grabbed her face and brought his own close to it. Delphina's eyes widened and there was genuine fear there for the first time with that man, 

“I’m not scrubbing them from your back.” he hissed. His nose was touching hers, his eyes narrowing burning into her own,  “Im admiring them.” he was so close to her lips she could feel his breath caress them, she gulped, too close-too close! “Is that a problem, Miss Delphina?” She could feel the reverb of his husky baritone in his chest. “Why do you insist that I think your skin is grotesque? You are putting your own words about yourself into my mouth and I don't care for it.”  Delphina bottom lip and throat quivered. Crocodile looked at her eyes still narrowed but taking in her expression before closing his and dropping his hand from her face. She quickly turned her face away and held back the tears that were threatening to fall. 

Crocodile sighed and picked up the shower head and gently rinsed the soap from her back before moving to her hair. “Haven't you ever felt self conscious about your missing hand?.” Delphina murmured. “Ever felt the eyes of everyone looking at you thinking you had some sort of disease or you were cursed in some way? Did they ever laugh at you or mock you?” She shivered and Crocodile knew then she was crying but her voice didn't betray her.

Crocodile’s hand tightened its grip on the shower head. “ Yes. It bothered me when I was younger, when it first happened.” He brought the warm water down her back then up to her head again. “It was hard, not only adjusting to no longer having a hand but to the whispers, the stares.” He put the shower head down and put out his hand for her shampoo which she gave to him. “ But with time, I mastered it and for those who laughed at me, I paid them back tenfold.” He gently applied the shampoo into her hair, lathering it, raking his long fingers from her scalp down to the ends. She let out a soft noise. 

“How did you do it?”

“Do what?” His fingers again massaged her scalp causing another soft noise from her.

“Stop caring about what people think of you?”

Crocodile paused for a moment, his finger curling around a strand of the woman’s hair, lost in thought. Delphina forced herself not to turn her head to look at him. Crocodile dropped the hair he was curling around his finger, “Put your head back, please.” Delphina nodded timidly, she brought up the towel to cover her chest once more before she put her head back to meet the distant eyes of Crocodile.  He combed her hair gently away from her face, his touch was so gentle.  “I overcame them by realizing I was better than them. I knew I was superior to them in many ways and then their small minded opinions had no more of an effect on me.” 

Delphina blinked up at him, his eyes still seemed so far away as he combed back her hair with shampoo. Her lips flickered into a smile, she laughed softly, “You would say something like that, huh.” her eyes closed, “That doesn’t help me at all though.” She thought while  Crocodile continued to comb her hair then brought the shower down to wash her hair, rinsing the soap from it. “Wish I had your confidence.” she muttered. Crocodile made an annoyed sound before letting his fingers brush the hair around her ears causing the woman to jump, that shudder ran through her body.

“Ah Crocodile don’t you dare-!”

He did it again this time though moving around the shell of her ear with her own wet hair, the tickling sensation making her squirm. “AH! Crocodile knock it off, right NOW!” Again, Crocodile moved his fingers and her own wet hair around her ear before blowing a breath gently there as well.  She squirmed and pushed his hands away, a ghost of a giggle escaping her lips. 

“Ill stop it when you stop moping.” He now went for her other ear, caressing it lightly then letting his fingers drip down her neck, she let out a giggle now, that caused his lips to flicker into a smirk. She turned around and pushed his hands away, giving him a look-trying to seem angry but he recognized the light was back in her eyes.

“You are a real bastard, you know that?” He hummed and moved his hand to gently stroke her cheek before giving it a gentle pinch.

“OW! Ass!”

“Got you to stop moping didn’t I?” Delphina smacked his chest then rubbed  her pinched cheek. 

“Yeah by tickling me into submission.” Crocodile grinned and chuckled,

“It worked regardless. Now turn back around. I'm not done with your hair conditioner next.” He put out his hand for it. She pouted, sticking her tongue out at him again before handing the condition over. 

“Ends only.” she requested and he nodded. He rubbed the small bit of condition into the ends of her hair and let it sit for a moment. 

It was quiet between the two for a minute before she cleared her throat, squishing a puddle of water with her foot. “Thank you… for not being a jerk about how I look and being…nice about it.” her words felt awkward on her lips. “And…cheering me up. You are a bastard but kind of tolerable and sweet…bastard nonetheless.” Crocodile looked at her back again and that smirk fell into a warm smile. 

“Hm, welcome.”  Crocodile couldn’t see she was smiling shyly at him, while he rinsed the rest of the conditioner out of her hair. He let his hand go through her hair one more time to comb it out and make sure it was all clean before his fingers brushed the shell of her ear again. “All done Princess.”  She heard him stand for a moment before sitting once more. She turned around once she knew he was seated.

“I have to use my own soap because you know… chemicals.” 

Crocodile nodded,  “It’s fine.” Delphina got down the shower head and realized that despite the fact the man was sitting on the low stool she still could barely reach his shoulder. She huffed, damn giant.  

Crocodile now heard her move and scoot over her own stool. He soon felt her weight against his back as the water from the showerhead ran down his shoulders and back. The ex warlord tried not to think of her body pressed up against him, with only a towel in between them. He twitched slightly. Meanwhile, Delphina looked at his back more in detail, watching his muscles flex underneath the skin and the water trail down it. She let her one free hand trace his muscles then finding a scar she traced that too. She hummed in approval and Crocodile raised an eyebrow. She then started to lather up his back with soap, starting much like he did with her, starting at the neck and shoulders and moving slowly, slowly down. 

Delphina watched him closely, hoping to make him squirm under her touch like he did to her but the man appeared to be stoic and still as ever though inwardly Crocodile was squirming. He could not remember the last time someone touched him….let alone touch him so gingerly. Crocodile’s body slowly relaxed under the woman’s touch as she massaged his back while washing it. He started to hear her humming to herself as she did so, making him melt even more under her touch. 

“Washing hair now.” she announced and he nodded. Delphi continued to hum as she let the water run over his hair and down his neck, he put his head back without even her requesting it. Delphina hid the laugh threatening to come out at how peaceful he looked. She just kept smiling and humming, now adding the shampoo to his hair. She massaged his scalp and then let her fingers trail down his long black hair; he gave a soft noise of satisfaction. The froggy woman felt her ears burning, “I didn't realize your hair was so long.” She said softly. His eyes flickered open, blinking as if being awoken. Crocodile looked up to see her smiling down at him with soft eyes. 

Mr. 0 eyes widened a fraction and his heart skipped a beat. “Close your eyes, I don't want soap getting in them.” She brushed his cheek and he did as he was told. Crocodile soon felt the warmth against his hair, her fingers combing, continuously massaging his scalp. He had to stop himself from letting out a sigh of pleasure. It all felt so nice, he tried to keep himself awake, but the warmth of the water, the sensation of her fingers in his hair and just her gentle touch…made him sleepy.

“ Are you sleeping?” She laughed softly, adding conditioner to the ends of his hair. 

“Mmm no.” He murmured, in his old raspy tone. She again just laughed at him, causing his face to burn a fraction.

“Almost done.” She let the water rush down his scalp and down to the ends, followed by her fingers, in his sleepy state he let escape a soft hum of satisfaction. The Crocodile's eyes fluttered open when he felt a soft kiss on his forehead.

“Mwah! And with the kiss from the princess you are a handsome prince once again. All done, Prince Sandman. Now finish up your shower and I'll dry your hair.”  Delphina started to step off the stool, careful not to slip. “Don't turn around until I’ve said so.”  Crocodile didn't say anything and just kind of sat there for a moment, completely frozen-dumbfounded. He turned his head slightly, not even registering her command. His violet eyes stared at her side profile, watching the water drip and slide down her round mosaic body in places where he hadn’t been blessed with caressing, all the while her eyes were closed humming softly.

Crocodile let out a hoarse breath before quickly turning his head away.He turned back on the shower on full blast and finished washing up, trying not to be distracted by the woman behind him, and her happy humming. Crocodile tried to drown out her hums with the loud brashness of the water. Tried to drown out the feelings and emotions that were rising over him. He missed her touch and fingers through his hair, but he had to put those thoughts far from his mind. The large man sighed pushing back the strands of hair that fell forward. He had to get himself together, he was falling apart like the cracked desert earth. He needed to keep himself together.

Crocodile might have stayed under the water longer, eyes snapped shut while he heard Delphina already starting to dry off.  He held his breath for as long as he could before letting it out once more, before turning off the showerhead. Crocodile kept his head down as he reached for the towel, not again realizing that now Delphina had turned to look at him,as he dried off. He was so big compared to her, and the way the water clung to his hair and body made her shiver. He was so beautiful. Delphina thought he was going to look up and feel her eyes on him so she quickly turned away to gather her bathroom essentials. Once Crocodile had his own towel, and knowing Delphina was covered they both turned at the same time, Delphina put out a nervous smile at him she beckoned Crocodile to her own level and he obeyed soundlessly. She put a  towel to his hair to dry it, “ I think we should braid your hair.”

“No.”

“Ponytail?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Hmm man bun.” She pulled the towel to his shoulders after fluffing his hair revealing a scowl from him but she was just grinning at him cheekily,

“No, Delphina.” He threw a towel over her head and proceeded to dry her hair. He could see her pouting underneath the towel.

“You are no fun, I didn’t even suggest pigtails.” Delphina felt a little pinch to her cheek again, “OW! Stop pinching me!”  Delphina swatted the large man’s hand away again, rubbing the sore spot on her face from Crocodile’s pinch, she looked up to see the bastard smiling in that lazy way that he does. She felt her face blush, “You are such a bastard.” Delphina still pouting took the towel Crocodile used to dry her hair, and threw it over his head. He kind of sat there awkwardly, towel still over his face when he heard Delphina slip on a robe. 

“I’m going back to the room with Bonez at least he doesn’t bully me and you can sit happy and naked by yourself, hmph!” Crocodile face burned as he quickly took the towel off and saw Delphina leaving him, totally not taking in her backside as she did so.  Crocodile, an ex warlord of the sea, a man who could make any number of people cower and fall at his feet in fear, cold and biting as the desert sand had discovered something new about himself. He had another weakness now, and it came in the form of a small but feisty woman who could turn into a frog.

[life-at-hogwarts]

Darkness within (House of Gaunt)

Pairing: Ominis x GN! reader

Warnings: mentions of drinking, intrusive thoughts, panic attacks, hurt/comfort

Word count: 3.3 k

“I’m sorry I’m making it so difficult. I wish I was easier to love.”

“Nothing about you is hard to love. In fact, loving you feels as easy as breathing. You don’t need to be ashamed of your scars. I know what I signed up for, and I haven’t changed my mind.”

Summary: Bromance. Violence. Trauma.

A/n: More emotional torture because that's just how I roll.

Chapter 5 of House of Gaunt

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 AO3

If you hadn’t felt the lack of sleep when you came back from your date night, you certainly felt it now. You had struggled to pay attention in your classes all morning. Partly because you were so sleep-deprived your brain could barely process what was going on, but also because just sitting next to Ominis made your stomach flutter. All you could think about was kissing him and your mind kept wandering back to the night before. Your distractedness cost you 5 housepoints in potions class when you accidentally added too much leech juice, causing the liquid to burn through the cauldron and flooding the potions stations of all those around you.

By lunch you were so exhausted you seriously considered skipping the rest of the day and calling in sick. You listlessly pushed your food around on your plate and fought the urge to rest your head on Ominis shoulder. The blonde had been quiet all morning, struggling to stay awake and was now resting his head in his palm, lost in thought, his meal still untouched.

“What’s on your mind?” you asked and pushed your plate away, officially giving up on trying to choke down lunch.

“Sebastian wasn’t in his bed when I came back. He must have spent the entire night in the Undercroft studying the journal,” Ominis sighed. “I’m worried about him.”

Since both of you had skipped breakfast, you had only seen your freckled friend briefly in class today and you hadn’t had the time yet to catch up.

“Have you tried talking to him about it?”

“He doesn’t listen!” Ominis groaned exasperated and tiredly rubbed his face. This entire thing with the journal really ate at him but you didn’t want to get caught in the crossfire between him and Sebastian. “His obsession with finding a cure is going to be…” Ominis stopped in the middle of the sentence and muttered under his breath,“Speak of the devil...”

You didn’t have to look up to know that Sebastian must be on his way towards the Slytherin table. No one could sneak up on Ominis, especially not Sebastian, whose footsteps and heartbeat he knew as well as his own. The freckled brunette slumped on the seat next to you, looking about as bad as you felt. Judging by the dark circles under his eyes he must have gotten about as much sleep as the both of you.

 “Sebastian! You look awful. How long did you stay up?”

“You’re one to talk. I know the two of you snuck out last night too. How was your date by the way?” he shot back, a taunting smile on his face. You laughed and gave him a cheeky wink.

“Don’t try to change the subject. We are worried about you,” Ominis chimed in, his voice sounding strained and tired.

“Look I don’t feel like being interrogated. Leave it alone. Seriously,” Sebastian groaned, unable to hide his annoyance. You shifted uncomfortably in your seat, and prayed they would leave you out of it. Trying to diffuse the tension you dramatically collapsed on the table, burying your face in your crossed arms. “Merlin what I would do for a quick nap right now. Do you think Professor Binns would even notice if we missed class?”

“Nice try darling, but I am not risking detention for a nap,” Ominis sighed and let his fingers run through your hair. Surprised by this public display of affection Sebastian raised an eyebrow but remained silent. It must be odd for him to see his best friends dating, you thought to yourself. I hope he doesn’t feel left out.  “Says the one who falls asleep in class,” you replied teasingly and laughed when Ominis pretended to pout. Sebastian joined in and just like that the tension between the two was gone and they were back to being best friends.

“Watch out Ominis. Mc will lead you down a dangerous path. Sneaking around the castle at night, skipping class, soon you will join us on our little excursions in the Highlands.”

“You wish. I don’t even want to know what you two are up to when I’m not around.”

“Don’t worry I will take care of your sweetheart,” Sebastian grinned, earning an annoyed eyeroll from the both of you. Then he added, “I’m happy for you. Truly. You two deserve to be happy. Just keep the snogging at a minimum when I’m around, please.”

----------

You clutched your scarf, buried your nose in the soft fabric to protect it from the sharp wind so typical for the Highlands and hurried your steps. The path to Hogsmeade was usually filled with Hogwarts students, but to your luck the weather seemed to have scared off most of them. The sky was dark and hung with even darker clouds, and the wind tugged on your clothes mercilessly, no doubt the presage of a storm. You rushed past the shops on main street and made your way up to the town square where Sebastian already waited for you at the foot of the giant willow tree.

“Hope you didn’t have to wait too long,” you greeted him, still out of breath.

“Tell me again why we didn’t just meet at the three broomsticks?” your friend grumbled as he tried to keep his thick brown locks away from his face.

“It was your idea to meet here,” you protested but your friend gave you a playful nudge to signal that he was just messing around.

“Tell you what the first round of Butterbeer is on you and we are even,” he laughed.

Only minutes later the both of you warmed your hands on the warm mugs and inhaled the sweet scent of the liquid. The three broomsticks was relatively empty but you welcomed it. The things you and Sebastian usually discussed required a certain degree of privacy.

“So, tell me about your date,” Sebastian wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. He seemed to be in a good mood today.

“Didn’t Ominis already give you a play-by-play?”

The brunettes face darkened. “Not exactly.” Seems like I’ve hit a nerve. Of course, you had noticed that something between them had changed ever since the scriptorium. Usually, you tried to stay out of it, but today you felt like you had to ask. “What’s going on between the two of you?”

“The usual. We’re still having…a disagreement over the spellbook. I’m sure your beau must have told you all about it,” he scoffed, and his entire demeanor changed. Gone was the lighthearted mischief maker that you knew and loved. You had seen and felt his dark side several times, this irritable, angry and bitter version of him and knew arguing with him would be pointless but you had to try.

“He’s worried about you because he loves you, you know?”

“If he loved me, he would help me find a cure for Anne,” Sebastian spat, his voice cold as ice.

“Don’t be like that.”

“Of course, you take his side.”

“Now that we are courting you mean. That doesn't change anything for me. Our friendship is a separate thing, I’m just trying to understand what’s going on between the two of you,” you protested and fought the urge to roll your eyes. It was unfair of Sebastian to accuse you of taking sides, when you had always been there for him to help him execute whatever crazy plan he had come up with.

“Don’t. This is between Ominis and I. Now let’s talk about something else. You still haven’t told me how your date went,” he tried to diffuse the situation and gave you a tired smile. “But first, I’m going to get us something a little stronger.” You couldn’t help but smile too when you watched your friend work his charm and quick wit to convince Sirona to slip him two glasses of Firewhiskey.

On your way back to the castle you felt the alcohol taking effect, keeping you warm from the icy wind. Next to you, Sebastian swayed dangerously – he had had even more shots than you. We are going to be so hungover tomorrow. The way back to the castle felt endlessly long. This was made even worse by Sebastian who tried to lay down on the floor or run away from you every two minutes. You felt like a babysitter chasing after him and getting him to follow you. When you finally reached the castle, you decided to escort him to the dorms. Ominis welcomed you with raised eyebrows when he noticed the state his friend was in and together you dragged him into their room. After you had taken care of your friend, Ominis accompanied you back to the exit of the common room. “I take it you two had fun tonight. I’m going to have fun holding back his hair all night, judging by the condition he’s in.”

“Are you mad at me?”

“Of course not. I’m just tired,” he quickly reassured you and placed a quick kiss on your lips before he backed away and made a face. “That bad?” you giggled.

“Let’s just hope you don’t run into any professors.”

Still, he didn’t back away when you pulled him closer for another kiss. You buried your fingers in his hair and pressed your cold body against his warmth. He replied by deepening the kiss, his tongue starting to explore yours, as he tightened his grip on you. You enjoyed the way he shivered and gasped under your touch when you ran your hands down his spine. Then suddenly, the warmth was gone. Ominis had forced himself to pull away and left you longing for more. You looked at him, puzzled, and watched him catch his breath. Why did you stop? “We shouldn’t. Not here. Not like this,” he finally managed to get out and gestured at the room. You didn’t care. Ominis cupped your face and placed a gentle kiss on your forehead.

“You know how much I want you. But this is not the time or place.” Pretending to pout you turned away from him, but you were too drunk to keep up your pretense and started giggling. 

“Go to bed, darling. Sleep it off. I have to go look after Sebastian,” Ominis murmured softly and stroked your cheek. “Are you going to make it back to your dorms safely?” The concern in his voice made your heart soar. It felt good, being loved this way. “I’ll be fine,” you reassured him and reached for his hand. He pulled you into a hug instead and you buried your face in his chest, listening to his heartbeat. “Goodnight, darling”, he whispered and placed another kiss on the top of your head.

As soon as you stepped through the doorway into the corridor someone grabbed your arm. “Ominis…,” you giggled and turned around. You froze when you were met by Marvolos piercing stare and instinctively took a step back.

“You know if you want to be with a Gaunt so badly, I would be the better option. I don’t get why you waste your time with my crippled brother. It’s not like he is going to inherit anything,” he sneered, his voice dripping with hatred and disgust.

Without hesitation you took a swing and punched him. Hard. A disgusting cracking sound echoed through the empty corridor, followed by a long silence. Finally, Marvolo looked up, a nasty smile on his lips, blood dripping from his broken nose. You suddenly became aware of how helpless you would be if he decided to fight you right now. Still half-sedated from the alcohol you were an easy target. You clutched your wand and waited for Marvolo to retaliate. Nothing happened. The only sound was the steady dripping of blood onto the stone floor. It made him look even more dangerous. Even though he was younger than you your instincts told you not to underestimate him. According to Ominis he took great pleasure in practicing the Unforgivables on other people. After a few more moments that felt like an eternity he simply turned around and vanished through the entrance of the common room. Your hands were shaking when you made your way back to your dorms. Whatever this was with Marvolo, you could feel that it was only the beginning.

-------

When you woke up in the morning your head was throbbing. You could only guess how Sebastian must be feeling.  Thinking about the events of last night you groaned, knowing that Ominis would not be amused when he found out what you had done to his brother, and you were not in the mood for conflict. Maybe I’ll just stay in my room all day. As much as you loved that plan you knew you had to go to the Room of Requirement to take care of all your rescued creatures. Highwing always got grumpy when he didn’t get his dinner on time, and you really didn’t want to deal with a grumpy Hippogriff.

You spent the entire morning feeding, grooming, and playing with your creatures, really taking your time. After that you tended to your plants and quickly brewed a few more healing potions for good measure. You even managed to get Deek to bring you a couple of sandwiches from the kitchens, so you didn’t have to go to the great hall for lunch. Just when you thought about taking Highwing out for a ride you heard someone enter the Room of Requirement. Ominis.

“I knew I’d find you here.”

You tried reading his face to figure out how to approach this, but he remained expressionless.  While you were thinking about what to say he continued, “You don’t need to hide from me. I heard what you did to Marvolo last night. What was that about?”

“I can handle your brother.”

Ominis furrowed his brows and moved closer. “What happened?” he asked softly. He didn’t seem angry at all, he seemed concerned. You let out a shaky breath and gently placed a hand on his forearm, “It was nothing. Don’t worry about it.”

“What did he say to you?” Ominis asked again, his milky gaze holding yours.

“He insulted you and I lost my temper. That’s what happened.”

For a long time, no one said anything. You would have done anything to know what was going on inside of Ominis’ head as you waited for his response. Was he angry at you? You thought about Marvolos disgusting grin and clenched your fists again. I’m not going to apologize for this, you thought grimly. Finally, Ominis spoke up.

“I think it’s best that we end this right now before you get hurt.”

It felt like someone had hit you in the face and you quicklypulled back your hand that was still resting on his arm. This reaction didn’t make any sense. It wasn’t even you who got hurt but Marvolo. If anything, this proved that you could look after yourself.

“Where is this coming from? I had a little disagreement with your brother and you want to break up?”

“They will come after you. It was stupid of me to think they would ever let me be happy,” he said, his voice shaking.

“Ominis, I’m not going anywhere,” you tried to reassure him, but he was starting to panic. His hands were shaking violently, and he kept cradling his head repeating the same thing over and over again. “They’re going to hurt you. And it will be my fault.”

Seeing him like this, you felt helpless. “I need you to calm down. Focus on my voice and breathe. Nothing is going to happen to me, alright? Your family won’t hurt me. It’s alright. Everything is alright,” you once again tried to talk him down, but it was no use. He seemed to be trapped inside of his own mind and you couldn’t get him out.

 “My thoughts are so loud. I can’t make them stop. It’s so loud. I need to make it stop,” he whispered, tears in his eyes. Now you were starting to panic as well. You had never seen him like this before and it scared you. What scared you even more was that you didn’t know how to help him.

“Stay here. I’ll go get Sebastian,” you said and hurried out of the room. You didn’t even bother searching for him in the Slytherin dorms and headed straight for the Undercroft. Sure enough, you found your friend, his nose buried in the old tome you had found in the Scriptorium.

“What’s wrong?” Sebastian asked when he saw your flushed face.

“Something is wrong with Ominis. I don’t know how to calm him down. He insists that his family is going to do something to me. He says he can’t make his thoughts stop,” you blurted out, stumbling over your words.

Sebastian nodded and closed his book. “I see. He gets like that sometimes. Bring me to him. I know what to do.”

-------

The sun was about to set when you made your way to the Slytherin dorms. A few minutes ago you had received an owl from Sebastian, that Ominis was better and wanted to talk to you. As you hurried down the corridors of Hogwarts you smiled to yourself. It was heartwarming the way these two took care of each other, despite being in a fight. The connection between them was more than friendship, it was brotherhood.

Ominis waited for you in front of the entrance to the common room. Before you could say anything he offered you his hand. “Care to accompany me for a walk?”  Even though you wanted nothing more than ask how he was and what had happened, you silently interlocked your fingers with his, giving him space. For a while you walked in silence, leaving the dungeons behind and passing the empty great hall. When Ominis lead you through the courtyard towards a little iron gate you finally understood where you were headed. The boathouse. Of course. On your way down the endless-seeming staircase Ominis finally started to speak.

“Sorry you had to see me like this.”

“There is no need to apologize. Do you want to tell me what happened?” you asked tentatively. The blonde took a shaky breath before answering and you squeezed his hand reassuringly.

“Sometimes I get these thoughts. They are not real, but they feel so real that I lose myself in them. It’s like they are screaming at me. I don’t know how to explain it.”

“What are they saying?”

“Usually my worst fears. Things I don’t want to happen,” he whispered and lowered his gaze, collapsing into himself. You had seen him like this before – at Gaunt Manor when his father had raised his voice at the dinner table. Seeing what his family had done to him made your blood boil, but you put your anger aside and asked softly, “That sounds awful. How can I help you when something like that happens?”

“I don’t know.”

“We’ll figure it out.”

“I’m sorry I’m making it so difficult. I wish I was easier to love.”

“Nothing about you is hard to love. In fact, loving you feels as easy as breathing. You don’t need to be ashamed of your scars. I know what I signed up for, and I haven’t changed my mind.”

Ominis still didn’t look at you, his empty gaze fixated on the dark water of the lake.  “You haven’t seen me at my worst yet. Believe it or not I’m actually keeping it together pretty well at the moment. That can change. And when it does, things get ugly. You don’t want to be around when that happens.”

You could feel him trying to pull away but you didn’t let him. “Stop. I’m perfectly able of making my own decisions. Try to push me away as much as you like, but I’m not going anywhere.”

[pseudowho]

Haitch!!!!!! I am in peril!!!!!

So. My boyfriend (let’s call him Jay) and I have been going out for two years roughly, and before that we were friends for about half a year. We met through family friends at an old lady’s birthday (the party was amazing and 40’s themed) and have been inseparable since. And I think Jay is proposing to me on my birthday in a few weeks and idk what to dooo.

My parents were together for like ten years before they had me, and they still aren’t married. In my country there’s this thing where you can like register a “partnership” (it was mainly used by same-sex couples before gay marriage was legal) but my parents haven’t even registered their relationship there either. So, legally speaking, there’s nothing tying them together except me and their house. And I never thought about marriage, probably partly because of my parents. Frankly I thought I’d never even find a partner I loved enough to actually commit to, but I love Jay. But I don’t know if I want to get married. To anyone ever, not specifically Jay.

I think I’m just too pessimistic a person with too many trust issues because I’m convinced that Jay won’t actually want to be with me for the rest of his life. Like, he’s bound to grow tired of me eventually. We’re just 25 and 27. There’s only one forever-relationship, and all the others will inevitably end. And I’m sort of sending myself into a spiral about this.

I feel like… in the grand scheme of things… knowing each other for 2.5 years is nothing. Like, 2.5 years ago the man I share a bed with was a total stranger. And now he’s telling me I might want to get my nails professionally done for my birthday? Snooping around my jewelry for my ring size? Asking if I prefer gold or silver?

In the end I know I need to talk to him about it. But I don’t really want to because I know I’m being silly and unnecessarily dramatic and I’ll probably start crying in the middle of it and I hate crying in front of people. Uwaaaah.

Sorry about this long message lol, I would have asked my sister for advice if I had one but I’m an only child, and the oldest of my cousins. And my mom is not great at advice and I’m not that close with my dad. And I love my friends, but they would just tell me to talk to my therapist about it, but I wanted to kind of… get a non-professional view of it.

Point being: do you think getting engaged after 2.5 years is too soon? And how do you think I should bring my worries up to Jay without hurting his feelings?

Sorry again for a long ask and I hope you have a wonderful day <3

This is a simpler answer than the length of the Ask would suggest:

Marriage, or not marriage, will not increase or decrease the love that's already there, if you are in a healthy, truly understanding relationship.

Our perceptions of marriage are often affected by the relationships of those around us, it's true. If I were to look at the marriages in my family, I would have a very mixed view on its sanctity. However, I was very focused on the man I had chosen to marry, and whether it was right for us.

You don't have to get married. But, you should look into the core issues here: comparing your relationship to that of others, your low self-worth, and your conflict avoidant way of thinking that means you're trying to base one of the biggest decisions of your life, on how others would feel about it.

You need to talk to him. You need to actively discuss what marriage means to you both, and why you would or would not get married. You will probably find that a healthy discussion of this sort does a lot to assuage your worries.

One thing you do need to do, is stop projecting your low self-worth onto Jay. That's unfair on him. It certainly sounds like he wholly believes in you, and his love for you, and commitment to you, and not getting married because you dislike yourself and are convinced that he will eventually dislike you, too, is just hurting yourself to pre-empt the perceived possibility of him hurting you.

Talk to the only other person that matters; Jay. You're not trying to hurt him. Be generous with your emotions and seek to traverse this together.

If you can't get through pre-marriage discussions like this, that's an indication in itself.

Good luck!

Love,

-- Haitch xxx

[kookygobbledygook]

On the day of David Lynch's passing I want to reccount my most Lynchian experience. Partly because all the smart people are already saying all the smart good words about him, but mostly because I think he'd get a kick out of it.

I work in disability and I used to work in a group home for disabled people. Let me say off the bat that the disability aspect was NOT AT ALL the Lynch-like part of the story.

There was a man living in this house who we'll call Johnny Hill. Johnny Hill loved music, playing with water, wooden spoons and hiding things under his bed as a joke. He was also autistic and legally blind.

Because he was legally blind, his parents gave him two things that were crucial to this story; a cuckoo clock, so he could hear the time change, and The World's Worst Toy called Clarence the Clown. You know those stackable rings that are on a pole. It was like that but with the facial features of a clown. I was worried about finding the words to express how horrifying this toy is but I've shockingly found a video.

This was Johnny Hill's favourite toy; the clown with the tear-away face.

So here is what happened from Johnny Hill's point of view; He wakes up in the middle of the night. He can't tell it's the middle of the night, being blind and everything. He gets up, sits in the armchair in the corner of his room, and starts playing with a toy. I come in and weirdly snap at the poor guy to "go to bed!" He does and goes back to sleep.

Got it? Literally nothing creepy happened and I need you all to understand that.

So here's my point of view:

I knew I had about two or three night shift coming up, and in this particular house you had to be awake the whole night in case of emergencies. It was always a struggle but I had recently began experimenting with a new technique. The night before a run ofnight shifts, I'd stay up until around three o'clock. The idea was that by staying up I'd sleep in later the next day and then on my night shift I could push through the whole night without being to exhausted. It didn't end up working, but it was worth a shot.

So how did I plan to stay up until 3 the night before?

I thought of a great plan.

I'd finish off Twin Peaks.

This was not a good idea.

Because that meant the next night at around two o'clock in the morning I was awake, by myself, in the group home, with Laura Palmer's backwards screams still echoing through my psyche.

And while I may have been okay stay in the brightly lit office (which was actually a corner of a kitchen) I had a job to do. What job? Sneaking quietly through the house and checking on all the people living there every hour, to make sure they were asleep, not having a seizure etc.

So coming up to three o'clock, I gather all my courage and make my checks, terrified that I'll see this at the foot of one of the guys' beds

Johnny Hill was on the opposite end of the house he was last. Naturally, I didn't want to wake him if he was asleep so I crept into his room to check, eyes straining to see in the dark.

Only to find his bed empty.

Suddenly I hear a noise that sounds like circus music coming behind me. I span around to see a figure sitting in the dark, pulling apart a laughing mechanical clown heads, just as the cuckoo clock went off in the background.

It's the only time in my life I was too scared to scream. Which was lucky because I would have woken the entire house.

It took me at least thirty seconds of pants-shitting panic to realise the man in the chair was Johnny Hill.

I'll admit I was less than chill when I said "Johnny Hill! Back to bed!"

It's very funny in retrospect.

David Lynch talked a lot about fate. I don't believe in fate the same way he seemed to. But I am prepared to admit this; a lot of really fucked up coincidences had to aline for me to experience one of the most surreal and petrifying moments of my life the day after I finished the original run of twin peaks.

There is no real point to this post. Other than I'm going to miss that delightful weirdo that once, though the power of his art, almost gave me a stroke at work.

[clatterbane]

About to try some of my own inaugural batch of homemade vanilla ice cream, made the lazy way using some of that commercial pouring custard!

Seemed like a good time now that it's firmed up well in the freezer, and my blood sugar has gone back down from a late supper.

Made using the ice cream freezer attachment that Mr. C also decided to pick up to go with the stand mixer. We hadn't actually tried it out yet (though I had vaguely been thinking about it), until he got a brainstorm the other day and picked up some ingredients including a couple of cartons of the vaniljsås, washed the ice cream maker, and stuck the base into the freezer.

He made a smaller low effort test batch last night, using just a carton of the custard and an eyeballed splash of cream. It tasted good, if a little light on the sweetness. But, the texture left something to be desired--especially after it froze up completely in the freezer afterward. Definitely good for a first attempt.

That still went fast enough that I decided to get the (still very cold!) thing washed and back into the freezer last night, to be ready to play around with it myself this evening.

So, I also went for a tweaked version of the same basic approach. Being the person I am, I worked with a couple.of ice cream recipe calculators on the web to get a better idea of ingredient proportions to aim for and why--and then just winged it with some packaged custard thrown in.

The base recipe I settled on:

150ml whole milk, warmed in the microwave at around lunchtime with 100g of extra sugar dissolved into it (then covered and stuck in the fridge to chill)

200ml custard (hey, may as well count that as milk plus some bonus stabilizers!)

Heavy cream to top the measuring cup up to a UK pint/close enough to 600ml total

Around 1/3 tsp. extra vanilla extract

Small pinch of salt

Still pretty simple, but that thinned it out some and brought the milkfat/sugar roughly into recommended ranges for mouthfeel and freezing qualities. Still a tad light on the sugar, but the finished ice cream tasted plenty sweet to me. It did also freeze a little hard, so I may need to play around some more.

It looked like a good quantity of ice cream mix for that size of freezer bowl, which does seem to turn out a decent two-person batch.

Some in the disconcerting interior color bowl, with some store brand sauce at the ready! That type is basically like runnier Nutella, and not surprisingly worked really well on the vanilla. Without palm oil, before self-righteous randos crawl up into my notes.

This did also freeze up a little hard and slightly crystally, which may have been partly because it could have used a few more minutes in the ice cream maker before I put it into that potato salad tub and froze if the rest of the way. I think it really was a little too soft, but patience really isn't my strong suit.

Mr. C ate a pretty big bowl before he went to bed, while it was still at the soft serve stage (after at least 45 minutes in our really cold freezer), and seemed to enjoy it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Next time up, I am tempted to go more complicated and try for a fairly simple blueberry cheesecake flavor, using some cream cheese and frozen berries.

I also want to try to make some serviceable good old American style sherbet, since you just can't find it elsewhere. Haven't eaten any for at least 15 years now. (The straight orange ice cream you can get here is pretty damned good, though. And I bet it would make at least as good a float with ginger ale or 7-Up.) I do suspect the whole texture thing may be trickier, without industrial ingredients and equipment.

Chocolate is another to-do, but at least it is way easier to find good plain chocolate ice cream without chunks of gluteny brownies and shit in stores here than it was in the UK.

In the somewhat near future, I also want to play around with some other sweeteners including erythritol to make something lower carb, but sticking to easier mode with all sugary stuff until I get more experience working with that. With all the milkfat and some protein to help buffer the carbs, ice cream is relatively easy on my blood sugar anyway. Seems to be a pretty common thing, at least for T1s. I may have actually overshot the insulin for that bowl, so it may be another little snack soon.

But, good investment--even if it did take us a while to finally start using it!