#particularly the awakening part! i’ll try again while im at work

[lonelysatoru]

binge watching the rest of egghead that’s out this afternoon cuz i’ll have NO TIME this weekend

[writing-radionoises]

afterlife

ship: background terumob and ritshou, implied seirei

genre: angst with a bittersweet ending

prompt: mob tries to cope with death and learns he's really bad at it

notes: autistic mob is canon because im autistic and i said so

--

Reigen was always good at reading people, me particularly.

He was better than Ritsu, who had lived his whole life around me, and better than Teru, who was arguably horrible at the task.

Reigen knew me better than anyone I knew. 

He could tell what percentage I was at before I could even spill the numbers.

Even though he was never as great as he said, and I had known he was a fraud for years, I do believe that somewhere deep down, Reigen did have an ability.

Reigen passed the year after I graduated high school, so I guess we'll never really know.

It was a couple months ago, but I'm still not strong enough to talk about it.

I'm struggling to live as an adult without him.

There's no one who can really understand my situation as much as he did.

Even though I love Ritsu and Teru dearly, and they're working hard to get in the level Reigen was once, they'll never be Reigen.

I'm never going to have a person like that again.

… Probably.

Before he passed, I used to text him when I was starting to get overwhelmed, about to meltdown, and he'd help me ground myself, keep it under wraps.

Sometimes he'd call, he had a comforting voice.

I find myself still texting his old number, I'm sure it goes to some random person now who didn't even know who Reigen was, but that doesn't stop me.

I apologize a lot in those messages.

Partially because it was my fault he passed.

Partially because I feel bad for dumping all my emotional baggage on the person actually receiving these.

I vent about my day, I scroll up and read our old conversations, I take pictures of things that remind me of him and send them.

… Part of me is half expecting him to respond.

Part of me is hoping he's gonna text back and say "Aw, what a cute puppy, Mob! Be sure to give it lots of pets for me!"

And then he doesn't.

I had a meltdown at his funeral, it was embarrassing.

Dimple didn't know what to do with me, Ritsu was trying to get everyone to settle down.

Teru tried to comfort me from afar.

I cried a lot that day.

I couldn't leave the house for weeks.

I got fired from my job because I hadn't come into work so long.

I stayed home alone, constantly at my limit.

100% loneliness.

100% sadness.

100% mourning.

I think the stages of grief work differently for me, I never had a denial, bargaining, or anger stage.

I jumped right into depression, head first.

I'm working my way out of it, though.

Reigen had no living family, but he had put me in his will, so I had gotten most of everything he ever owned. Ritsu tried to get me to get rid of it, but I was already attached to most of it.

So I kept most of his belongings.

Teru wasn't mad when most of our apartment was cluttered with Reigen's stuff, and I was stuck in the middle of the apartment, desperately trying to cope.

He organized it, framed pictures and put away books.

I still couldn't cope. But he insisted that was okay.

I readjusted my routine, trying to keep my lost father figure as far from my mind as possible, but he still forced his way in.

Today, Dimple insisted that I visit Reigen's grave for the first time in months. Ritsu said it was a bad idea, that it would only awaken more grieving, but… Maybe it could be the closure I needed.

The train was loud, so I had worn my ear defenders, and sat close to the window while I waited for my stop.

I felt like a middle schooler again, on my way to the Spirit and Consultation Office after school.

I wasn't, but it was a nice warm feeling to be reminded of. 

My stop came along, and I hopped off the train and headed towards the graveyard. It was autumn, the wind had just gotten chilly and the leaves started to fall. I slipped off my ear defenders and continued walking.

"Dimple," I asked, "Were you ever… Human? Or were you just always a spirit?"

Dimple looked back at me, I'm sure if he had shoulders he would shrug, "Don't really know, Shigeo. I've been like this for as long as I can remember, so I doubt I was ever human. Why?"

I looked down towards the ground, shoving my hands in my pockets, "Maybe… I've been too consumed by grief to think about this before, but I'm wondering if maybe… Reigen is a spirit now."

"Don't get your hopes up."

"I know but… It'd be a nice thought. To actually talk to him again instead of just… texting his old number like he's still there."

"Maybe so, but would it really feel any better to know he's stuck here instead of going into the afterlife?"

I fell silent again, Dimple might've been right, maybe I was selfish for wanting that.

I don't like the idea of him being stuck here forever.

What if he asks me to exorcise him? Would I be able to do it?

Would I… be able to live with killing him twice?

"Don't think about it too much, kid," Dimple reassured, "Think about something else, like… Oh, Serizawa's coming to town soon, isn't he?"

I nodded, "He is, he's going to take over the business, and probably move up here. He left to visit family for awhile… the grief was too much for him."

"And your brother is getting married soon, right?"

"I think so… I hope he and Shou don't feel like Teru and I are pressuring him since we're already married… Teru and I have just been together since middle school."

"Ah, I'm sure he doesn't feel like that, hey look! We're there," Dimple replied.

I looked up at the entry way gate, and headed on in.

I could feel the presence of many spirits, most of which were good meaning, as I moved down the aisles. I remembered which one was Reigen's, I'm not quite sure why I memorized that, as I came across the gravestone.

Reigen Arataka

1993-2025

A father to all,

A lover to one.

I remember Serizawa picking out that inscription, he confronted me about it before confirming it.

It was the first thing to make me smile during the week of Reigen's death.

I took a breath, looking down at the grave, and then getting on my knees.

The ground was cold, and I felt no presence here.

"Reigen…" I started, trying to collect myself, "I'm really sorry. About… everything. About the fight I got you involved in, the people I got you involved in with, not taking over the business like you wanted… I'm really sorry about that one, I should've done it, but it feels so… so… empty without you… Serizawa said he was gonna take it, though. I know he's gonna take good care of it, I'll work under him, too. Maybe someday… I'll let go enough to be able to do it? I don't know…"

I balled up the fabric of my jeans into my hands, trying to keep it together.

"I've been texting your old number, I'm having such a hard time living without you… I love Ritsu, and Teru, and Dimple but… I don't think there's a person in the world who could get me quite as well as you did. You taught me a lot of things, I'm not sure if I'd be the same person without you. Teru, as patient as he is, is probably tired of my mourning and constant depression. I had a meltdown at your funeral, I'm sorry about that, too, it was really embarrassing…"

I fell silent again, biting my tongue.

"I think… I'm happy about the moments we spent together, though. There could've been so much more, you died so young, but the ones we had… they make me pretty happy. A part of me, though, has been thinking about you on the afterlife. Wondering if you're a spirit and wondering… how much damage I can do with my powers. It was my fault you passed, my fault that many people passed and now I'm wondering… am I really a good person? Am I doing good enough? Will I ever… live up to what you thought of me?"

There's silence in the air as I feel the emotions build up once again.

75%.

"I'm really nothing without you, I'm so annoying to everyone because you're all I can talk about. I can't remember the last time I saw my parents, Serizawa left town for awhile, Teru's coping by overworking himself and here I am, crying to someone who isn't here anymore and can't do anything to help. Here I am, texting a dead person and still praying they'll text back and… And… I'm just…"

93%.

"I'm just so… fucking lonely, Reigen, I'm so fucking lonely."

There isn't a response. But I expected that. Nothing but the wind as I still pray to hear a familiar voice.

Just one more time, please.

Just one more hug.

"Hey, Mob!"

I lift my head up, and I'm met with a ghostly figure of someone I once knew.

"Still venting to me from the afterlife, huh?"

[simkjrs]

msa ch3 asks

Anonymous said: I love how msa Izuku comes across as an honest to god cryptid: can't see his face, absolutely the kind of person you'd find at a gas station at 3 am, doesn't want attention, most likely distant cousins with Mothman

msa au is just me fulfilling all of my ‘protagonist is a cryptid’ dreams by making msa izuku as cryptid as possible. favorite character archetype: cryptid 

Anonymous said: so the msa au is my life right now thank u for that & I just read through the update twice so thank you for that x2 and I had to go back and look for Izuku and Kirishima's deal when it came up again and realized oh hey Kirishima agreed not to try and stop Izuku from leaving after 3 minutes and they didn't put a time limit on that i wonder if that'll come up again (& then my brain jumped to Izuku using that Forever. "we had a deal" every time it comes up. he cannot be stopped bc kiri promised)

got it in one!! izuku will abuse the wording of that deal forever if he can. good eye! 

Anonymous said: relatability of msa izuku: trying, doesnt trust feds, inability to sleep, ready to jump out 4th story window at a moments notice, anti-attention-

that’s msa izuku living the cryptid life of his dreams

Anonymous said: So wait you don't have to answer this if it's a spoiler but the collarbone blood tattoo™ is what's making deku's existence confusing to electronics, maybe?

yep, you got it! normally izuku is able to keep his presence from overtly affecting the electronics around him but scripting really starts messing with them. 

Anonymous said: quirkless msa deku anon and can i just say that deku looking eraserhead straight in the eye with lie detector policeman there and him saying "i don't have a quirk" and said policeman not detecting a lie is arguably the best thing i have thought of today.

tsukauchi:  tsukauchi: wh  tsukuachi: how did you even do all of [gestures at ch2 events] that without a quirk?  izuku: it’s a special talent of mine.

Anonymous said: I just read chapter 3 and oh my god oh my god oh my god. Your Izuku is who i aspire to be 24:7. Like everything he says makes me want to cry and laugh at the same time. You did good. <3

haha we are all aspiring to izuku’s levels of impromptu sass. im glad you liked the new chapter! 

Anonymous said: I'm probs rlly late cuz I Love in GMT+1 which means 9 HOURS of difference but I love your writing. Man, dude, being from beyond time and space, you always manage to create the perfect harmony between comedy and suspense that has you giggling while trying to figure out the mysteries of the universe. Just. OH BOI.

this ask is so funny and sweet at the same time. i love you 

@arinrowan said: it's kind of ironic that msa!izuku is exactly the kind of person who would benefit from friendship with/interacting with canon izuku.

msa izuku would benefit from friendship in general but you’re right. he needs the kind of quiet but aggressive support that canon izuku gives 

Anonymous said: Cuz I'm trying to see if I can figure this out, by "told me about Kamino Ward", does that mean that Izuku tipped kirishima that that was where bakugou was? How did he know tho, did baku's spirit go to him and tell him that? Did izuku actually play a part in the rescue???? So many questions

THE ANSWER TO ALL OF THESE... [spoiler alert] is actually ‘yes.’ more soon...

Anonymous said: when they start asking questions abt kamino ward at some point he just gets fed up and says "I JUST DID IT BECAUSE THE GODDAMN CAT WOULDNT LEAVE ME ALONE. I DONT EVEN LIKE BAKUGOU" and the heroes are like :0? what if, we brought bakugou here?

izuku doesn’t even acknowledge that the kamino ward incident happens it’s like theyre just talking to a brick wall 

Anonymous said: Izuku has no control over his own sass anymore and it's glorious?? Says "that'll be 500 yen" and looks surprised at himslef, says "now it's 600 yen" and looks downright mortified, the sass is too much for his smol body, sassmaster izuku ftw

to quote @salvainterra, “i love the fact that izuku never stops even when he himself thinks he should stop.” izuku listens to every nonviolent intrusive thought that crosses his mind and it both incredible and unfortunate. izuku is no longer bound by human limits 

Anonymous said: msa izuku is the living embodiment of the "fuck this shit im out" song

ABSOLUTELY

Anonymous said: tbh when msa chapter 3 said that izuku slept 12 hours at nighteye's office, i was guessing that he would just passive aggressively sleep as much as possible for as long as they had him. won't give them the satisfaction of watching him wander around in his holding cell. hes in the middle of the interrogation and he puts his head down and goes to sleep (btw love your work!)

haha no he was just so exhausted he passed out for 12 hours. he hasn’t had a good nights sleep in weeks, as soon as all [gestures at ch2] this was over he just crashed 

Anonymous said: Wow the new chapter is great!! Stellar as always. I can't help but imagine what's going on from Izuku's point of view with the spirits. Am I the only one who thinks Aizawa's spirit was trying to apologize or something when Izuku talked about not being forced into anything?

there was definitely some spirit stuff happening... i will say that aizawa’s fox spirit is the one who asked/persuaded izuku to tell aizawa what was Up with his quirk 

Anonymous said: tbh i want to see them question izuku with a lie-detector quirk or something. like he'll say something positively ridiculous and everyone's gonna go "wait wtf he's telling the truth??!!?!!?!?!?!?"

hoho... well... buddy im not gonna say anything... 

Anonymous said: Hello! I found your works recently and have an insane amount of time in the past few days going through it all, cause is all beautiful. I want to scream at you about all of them but you only get so many words with this so I'll focus on msa rn and I read chapter 3 of msa last night and since then I've been switching laughing at Izuku's sass, crying cause Izuku has so much angst involved him and I just wanna hug him, and screaming cause whAT WAS THAT CLIFFHANGER?!! Just what. Thanks for ur works-A

THANKS, thats the kind of reaction i aim for when i write something. im super happy you liked it!! <3 

Anonymous said: Technically his quirk is "Being alive" or "Having a functioning body" but saying that would probably end with the same blank stares. As a side note, in the manga (and canon in general) they mentioned quirks are activated by the 'quirk factor energy' or whatever... Do you think that might mean that people who are quirkless just don't naturally have enough quirk energy to activate their latent quirks? it would also make some sense from an evolutionary standpoint, the glowing baby is from the first

generation that had enough of the qfe to actually manifest their quirk and after that generation the lowering number of quirkless could be attributed to those that have a deficit in the production of said energy and they might actually have latent quirks. The pinky toe missing could be the final mutation that causes them to have enough energy for their quirks to work.. The only issue with the theory I see is OFA not awakening latent quirks with it's energy jumpstart...

i think that’s a pretty good theory! it lines up pretty well w/ the worldbuilding in msa. as for afo, :3c

Anonymous said: Hey uh.. I know this is probably 100% non canon in your AU but I was re-reading your MSA fic and I misread something that made me think that Izuku is actually dead and his body is actually being run by his guardian spirit who possessed his body/took his place when he died... *sweats* Its a really weird.. dark idea but I thought it was sorta cool and you might like it..? um.. I'll just let myself out now

god yeah that would be so dark and everything in msa would actually be even worse than it was before 

Anonymous said: When deku explains nighteye's quirk i can only think of that's so raven.

theyre valid questions... 

Anonymous said: I spent my break reading the asks sent to you RE: chapter 3 of msa and I cannot stop fucking laughing over "look eraserhead dead in the eyes and tell him you don't have a quirk" thank GOD I'm supposed to be happy and smiley to everyone

honestly, this is conceptually such a powerful moment that i can’t not put it in the fic now 

Anonymous said: msa izuka finally get set free but kiri has started following him around. States its official hero business but really just wants to see what other "cool shit" izuka will do.

izuku pulls an Official Cryptid Move (tm) and disappears while walking thru a liminal space 

Anonymous said: i love that when aizawa starts asking about deku's quirk he's like, 'screw this i'm answering in riddles now'. this is such a great fic!!

Anonymous said: “It’s a secret,” he says. “A secret that no one knows, that one will suffer, and one-half loathes. Who knows if it’s true or not? The only thing we can confidently say is that it’s one thing that should not be.” Okay, so this is probably one of my favourite little scenes from your fic, partially because it sounds so ominous and badass and makes pretty much no sense. I loved your update, I was so tense the entire time I was reading it, but also giggling hysterically because /Izuku/ just - Izukus

hmm i sure do wonder where izuku got that riddle from... and what it means... 

this riddle is just izuku complaining about everything because as long as he’s in this situation, he might as well make it perfectly clear how unhappy he is about EVERYTHING. when else is he going to have an audience for him complaining about his various maladies 

Anonymous said: I think that a part thats particularly true to izuku's character is when kirishima makes the observation "damn maybe it IS good we arrested him so he can sleep" & izuku goes into a miniature coma for 12 hours bc being arrested presented the perfect opportunity for him to finally be able to sleep

nfdfsljndslfnjdf YEAH, everyone please stop this child it’s for his own good 

Anonymous said: Reading know what i've made by the marks on my hands is really terrifying when not in Izuku's pov because you now know how scary?? it is for some other characters and Izuku looks crazy-- but you know he's not because cheesus???? This kid???????? Honestly I love it so much, thanks for your amazing writing and I want you to know that I enjoy it a LOT.

that’s the goal... showing how weird and strange and bizarre izuku is from everyone else’s point of view... i loved the outside pov bc i got the chance to show how much of a cryptid izuku is, something that izuku himself isn’t even aware of and thus would not make it into his pov

Anonymous said: anon who ((still)) hasn't read bnha here. chapter 3 of msa is amazing. i cannot get over the sheer amount of sass found in such a smol boy. also kirishima is quickly becoming my favorite character because of how supportive and caring he is. kirishima/deku is apparently now something to add to my armada of ships. for that i thank you. also i cannot wait for deku to meet spirit!one for all. it will either be glorious or horrible.

haha im always happy to introduce someone to the wonders of kiri/deku!! its an extremely good friendship... and in my professional opinion everyone should get on it and make it the Hot New Thing. as for ofa, ;3c

Anonymous said: I just thought of this but during Aizawa's interrogation I could totally see his spirit just blatantly looking away from Izuku while Aizawa is asking about his benefactor.

HAHA YUP, i love izuku saying all kinds of stuff about spirits and no one can make any sense of it and meanwhile the spirits are trying to tell him to stop. but izuku cannot and will not be stopped from passive aggressively vaguing about them. he WILL get his complaints in if its the last thing he does 

Anonymous said: “I just fixed your entire Quirk, you cabbage.” I'm sorry but this. This is beautiful. I'M GOING TO GO AROUND CALLING PEOPLE CABBAGE NOW

i was worried it was a bit of an overused classic internet insult but this is reassuring :p 

Anonymous said: every word that comes out of MSA Izuku's mouth is a blessing

but not to our three heroes and their intrepid intern sidekick... 

Anonymous said: Shit after the msa chapter i've got so many questions about Kamino. Did the rescue occur the same with minor variations? Is AfO still down? Did All Might fckin die? Has OfA been passed down yet? I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS

im uncreative and unoriginal with canon events so we’ll see.... we’ll see. 

Anonymous said: MSA CHAPTER 4! I just found it today and I'm already rereading it. I did not know how much I needed sassy dead inside izuku. I Love this fic so much! That cliff hanger was so good! I'm so exciting to see more of izuku's pov. I love kiri but like I can't get enough of this izuku and his thoughts and reactions to things. This is so well written. The pacing in chapter 2 was so good. It felt like a heist and then keeping the readers guessing with not knowing if he was gonna get away was so good!

thank you so much!! im really glad you enjoyed the story that much <3 <3 sassy izuku is a pleasure to write honestly, can’t wait to see him more in future chapters 

Anonymous said: Ohhhhhh you should update msa! It's so unbelievably good! I love the interaction between kirishima and izuku! Like I'm so excited to learn more about kamino ward and how that's gonna affect izuku going free and keeping his identy safe

:3c 

Anonymous said: In chalter 2 of the msa au, did Kirishima think anything about how Deku said "I swear to every spirit I know"?

he dismissed it as a kind of weird, niche turn of phrase. like oh, guess this guy believes in spirits and junk, but im more worried about literally every other weird thing he’s done today 

Anonymous said: So does MSA!Izuku always mess with attempts to record his presence? I feel like this would be kind of a major problem when it comes to getting himself a school ID or the like. (He's going to school somewhere, so he must have a school ID stashed somewhere). You know, they could potentially use this to track his identity down. They can try contacting schools to see if any had issues with one student needing to have an excessive number of photo retakes.

nope, usually izuku can keep it under control! the blood sigil on his collarbone is what really let him passively affect the electronics.

Anonymous said: Ok so msa!Izuku says "he shouldn't" exists, and when I first read that I was really confused, do you mean he shouldn't exist in the way that he sees things he shouldn't, or that he literally should not exists and Inko has no freaking clue where he came from/he was not a planned child?

yes to the first proposal. other than that, spoilers... 

[proven-paradox]

The Lesser Evil Side Sessions: Raido tries to help and gets in over his head

I thought this one was particularly excellent, and it sets up some really interesting stuff that’ll come in the rest of the game.

<DM_Dox> ---

<DM_Dox> The next day dawns, and apparently people are beginning to prepare for another day of festivities. The previous night was a long and loud one, whether celebrating in the common room or trying fruitlessly to get some sleep above.

<Raido> Raido, awakened early in the morning by additional ideas for his commission, rushes down to an early breakfast. Thereafter, he set off to convey the add-ons to the builders.

<Raido> Commissions updated, Raido sets back into old habits. Namely, wandering around the city looking for trapped, hidden, or prized memories.

<DM_Dox> The crafters listen to Raido's instructions patiently and state their intent to follow them as well as they can. Out in town, the celebrations continue more or less as they had the previous day, though there are fewer participants as more people return to work.

<Raido> Raido just manages to subtlety pry out an initiation memory from a local thug when he remembers a juicy little memory that had glinted from the eye of Captain Terril. Casting only a momentary glance at a passing bedraggled clergyman, Raido sets his course for Terril's office.

<DM_Dox> Raido heads back to the barracks, where Terril would be stationed for the time being. As he approaches, he nearly runs into a young man leaving the door in a hurry. He looks confused for a moment, then asks, "Oh, ah, are you Mr. Raido?"

<Raido> Raido stares quizically at the young man, the collision having pulled him from a rather pleasent daydream. "Mr.? No, I don't think... Oh, yes, that is me. Who are you?"

<DM_Dox> "I-I'm a messenger, and you bein' here saves me a lotta work. Captain Calther wanted me to find you and let you know he has a job for you if you want to make some coin. I can take you to him if you're interested?"

<Raido> Raido frowns in the direction of the barracks. "Calther you say? I suppose this can wait. I do hate letting a good one go to spoil." Then, shaking his head, Raido turns back to the young man and gives him a nod. "Well, lead on then." And to himself, "Maybe I'll get lucky and the extra time will enbolden the colors."

<DM_Dox> The man nods and beckons for Raido to follow, leading him to a familiar office where the group had seen Calther many times before. The older captain is inside pacing, and seems surprised to see the group. "Wow, that was fast. Well done son."

<DM_Dox> Raido notices an unfamiliar woman in the room with Calther. She is a middle aged woman, perhaps in hear early forties, of middling with bronze skin and red hair, clear evidence of Halonian ancestry. She wears a simple green tunic and dress, plus a pair of simple golden earrings and a plain bracelet.

<DM_Dox> http://wildweasel339.deviantart.com/art/Greek-Lady-181845248

<DM_Dox> She says nothing for the time being.

<DM_Dox> The messenger just shrugs and replies, "Nearly ran into 'im outside, seems he was already on his way here."

<Raido> "Ah, yes. Captain Calther." Raido passes a copper to the young man and stretches out a hand to the Captain. "A pleasure to see you again."

<Raido> "And who might your lady companion be, miss?" Raido asks.

<DM_Dox> He nods and accepts the handshake. "Yeah, you too." He gestures to the woman. "This is Elvira Tanisk, mayor of our fair city. She and I have been talking about somethin' and figured you might be able to help."

<Raido> "Miss Tanisk, a pleasure. How might I be of help to you?"

<DM_Dox> For her part, Tanisk looks rough, likely getting little sleep recently. She's also clearly been crying recently and is doing a poor job of hiding some emotional distress. Calther casts an occasional worried glance in her direction.

<DM_Dox> She speaks, her expression strained neutrality. "I'm told you have experience manipulating minds. Do you have any ability to mend totally broken ones?"

<Raido> Raido looks into her eyes thoughtfully for a moment. "Perhaps. But first, may I see your hand?"

<DM_Dox> She gives him an odd look, then looks to Calther for confirmation. He shrugs, and she extends her hand, looking curious.

<DM_Dox> She quickly withdraws her hand. Even addled by lack of sleep, her mind is sharper than most peoples'. "What did you just try to do?"

<Raido> Raido smiles pleasantly. "You have a strong will Miss Tanisk. And clearly not a broken will. Had you failed this test, the effect would have revitalized you some small bit. It is apparent the past few nights have not been easy. Tell me, of whom do you speak?"?

<DM_Dox> She shakes her head. "You should ask people's permission before doing that sort of thing, sir. Anyway. I'm talking about a man named Markus Windsor."

<DM_Dox> Calther jumps in here. "About, oh, three weeks, maybe a month ago? He and his troupe went out investigating somethin' 'r other. Apparently he thought they'd found some kind of lost theives' cache."

<DM_Dox> "When he came back he was half naked and stark raving mad."

<Raido> "This madness, describe it to me."

<DM_Dox> Tanisk jumps in here. "He can't form coherent sentences. He'll start one thought and finish another. He doesn't seem to remember who or where he is. He's smashed his head against walls multiple times, we had to put him in a padded room and straight jacket."

<Raido> "Have you noticed any patterns--names, phrases, events-- that he references to repeatedly?"

<DM_Dox> "Not lately." Tanisk frowns. "When he first came in he would occasionally spout this poem, which mostly corresponded to a journal entry we found in his home about where his group was investigating. Our investigation party said they found a monster there and put an end to it. I'm not sure how much we can trust that report though. I want to know what he saw."

<Raido> "Do you have this journal?"

<DM_Dox> "Not on me, but if you think it's important I can retrieve it."

<Raido> "Perhaps. I will not know for sure until I meet this man. Is there anything else you know that might help me?"

<DM_Dox> She shakes her head. "I'm not a mage. I don't really know what you need for this."

<Raido> "Does this man have any family? A wife? Children? The closer the connection the better."

<DM_Dox> "He had a lover I think, but I would rather not involve him if we don't have to. No wife, no children. Other family unknown. He's not originally from Northwall and seemed reluctant to talk about his past."

<DM_Dox> She sighs. "Heartless though it may be... In the end, I need to know what happened. If you can heal him, good. If not..." She shakes her head.

<Raido> "I see." Raido again takes note of the clear lack of sleep in the woman's eyes. "Pardon my bluntness, but what relation has he to you, Miss Tanisk?"

<DM_Dox> "He was a friend, and I would like to see him restored. But more importantly, I'm this town's mayor, and I need to know for certain that whatever did this to him has been eliminated."

<DM_Dox> Raido senses that while those statements are true, they don't actually answer his question.

<Raido> Raido wills his features to soften and seeks first, to side with compassion. "As the Captain as my witness I will see to it that I uncover whatever I can. That said, I must supply again the same question. Please think hard. Anything you tell me may help in discovering the truth behind this mysterious case, Miss Tanisk. So I ask again, what relation has this man to you?"

<DM_Dox> Her eyes harden. "I've already told you. Do you have a problem with my answer?"

<Raido> Raido stands firm against her stare. "I see. Forgive my insistence. It is important to be thorough in these matters." Raido, unperturbed by her manner, turns to Calther. "Captain, might I be permitted access to this man?"

<DM_Dox> He tilts his head. "Not gonna name a price first?"

<Raido> "There will be time enough for that once I have seen what it is we are dealing with."

<DM_Dox> He shrugs. "Fair enough. Follow me."

<DM_Dox> The captain leads Raido to a nearby building. It's unclear from the outside whether it's meant to be a dungeon or a sanitarium. Calther starts picking through a key ring on his belt as he walks through the halls. The doors seem nearly soundproof. Either that or their occupants are very quiet.

<DM_Dox> Eventually the captain chooses a door and unlocks a hatch, allowing Raido to look inside without actually opening the door.

<DM_Dox> Huddled in the corner is a ragged wretch of a man, curled into the fetal position and looking around the room with wide, wild eyes.

<DM_Dox> Calther looks in and frowns. "Poor bastard's having a bad day it looks like."

<Raido> "I will need to be in close proximity to determine the extent of the damage."

<DM_Dox> He nods. "The guy's in a jacket, so he shouldn't be able to actually hurt you." He moves to unlock and open the door, permitting Raido inside the padded room.

<Raido> Raido enters the room and proceeds to lay on the floor in mirror to the man's own fetal position. "Hello, Markus. My name is Raido Xhen."

<DM_Dox> Markus peers at Raido fearfully. His head is shaven and he looks like he hasn't slept in days. He's handling it with far less grace than Elvira was.

<Raido> "Markus, i am going to look inside your mind. It wont hurt, but I need you to let me in, okay?"

<DM_Dox> "They let me in too, but the dinner had gotten cold. They were dancing when I got there, I swear!" His voice is a fearful whisper.

<Raido> Raido begins slowly slipping inside Markus's mind like a burgler peeking through windows, unsure of who he might find inside. "Who was dancing Markus?"

<DM_Dox> "No-one was dancing! Don't listen to her when he's talking! The answer is nineteen."

<DM_Dox> Peeking into the man's mind is like looking into a well of clear water during an earthquake reflected from a broken and twisted mirror. It's more sound and noise than thought going through this madman's head.

<Raido> Raido pulls back his mental probing before he becomes disoriented himself. returning to the door, he whispers to Calther. " will need two things for this to have any chance of working."

<DM_Dox> "What's up?"

<Raido> "The first is a setative for Mr. Windsor. The second is a candle. The bigger the better."

<DM_Dox> "I'll getcha set up with both. You want out in the meantime?"

<Raido> "The sedative need not put the man to sleep. Merely enough to tune down his hightened mental activity. Yes, I will need out to ready my things. And Captain..."

<DM_Dox> "Hm?"

<Raido> "You may tell the Miss Tanisk that my price for this highly risky and taxing endevor will be no less than a favor. To be collected at some point in the future. No money need exchange hands. A favor for a favor."

<DM_Dox> "...Alright. I'll let her know."

<DM_Dox> A few minutes pass before Calther comes back, bearing a very large candle made of white wax, a good foot and a half long. He is flanked by an orderly, a dark skinned, broad shouldered man in a simple white shirt and leggings. He carries a syringe with a cap over the needle.

<DM_Dox> The orderly says, "You fellas should stay out here while the sedative kicks in. The needle sometimes gets this guy worked up."

<DM_Dox> The orderly ducks in and approaches Markus slowly and carefully, keeping the needle hidden until he's close. He's murmuring quietly, comfortingly as he approaches. Markus does not seem to see the man.

<Raido> While the orderly sees to Markus, Raido sets sets up the candle directly in Markus's view. Then, drawing a crystal from within his robes, Raido proceeds to split his task into manageable pieces.

<DM_Dox> Once close, he swiftly sticks the needle into Markus's arm and presses the plunger, withdrawing the implement before the madman can respond. Markus shouts in displeasure ("You'll not have my nostril, harlot!") but doesn't react violently. The orderly withdraws quickly.

<DM_Dox> "Guy hasn't slept in a few days, guess he ain't got the steam to act up..." He looks to Raido. "You need help with any a' this?"

<Raido> "No thank you. If you would be so kind as to wait outside in case of need..."

<DM_Dox> "Will do."

<DM_Dox> Markus is settling down, looking drowsy.

<Raido> Via Solicit Psicrystal, Raido establishes a link to base himself in reality. Via Schism, he separates his mind into two independently working halves. With all three acting in cooperative unison, he waits for Markus to settle before delving back inside the madness.

<Raido> Once he is ready, Raido encourages the drowsy Markus to focus on the candle flame. Then, linking all three processes, he dives into Markus's mind.

<DM_Dox> Entering the man's mind is very easy once he's sedated: there are literal holes in his mindscape that Raido and his components are able to just walk straight through.

<DM_Dox> A full entry doesn't much help make sense of things. The interior of the man's mind is like three stained glass windows were broken at once and the shards mixed together.

<DM_Dox> Raido likely starts to suspect very quickly that this was done intentionally.

<Raido> Knowing that time limited, he begins seeking out the freshest memories, sifting through the shards for the largest pieces.

<Raido> Like laying out foundation stones for a building that extends into several additional dimentions of thought.

<DM_Dox> Raido's rummaging starts to sort through things; distant memories had degraded and mixed less than recent ones. Soon a pattern emerges, somewhere between that of an impact crater and that of glass shattered from one tremendous point of trauma.

<DM_Dox> And of course, that impact's timeline lines up well with the time Tanisk had said the man was found.

<Raido> A constant niggling at the back of Raido's mind, pulls at him from outside Markus's mind. He ignores it, but keep s a tight grip as though to a life line. Each component of his mind takes of a different aspect of the night Markus's mind was assaulted. Any sensory information is given priority.

<Raido> Especially sight, sound, and smell.

<DM_Dox> The distinct portions of Raido's mind working in tandem are able to sort through the shards of thoughts and sensations quickly. He puts together images of following a river to a well hidden dungeon. Traps and undead threats within. Losing a trusted ally to a swinging guillotine. Losing the rest of his friends to a final horrible being, covered in eyes and mouths, its shape indistinct.

<DM_Dox> That final encounter had left him shaken to his core, but that was not the impact that ruined him. He'd seen worse. He'd purchased resurrection spells for his friends before. That was something he'd recover from.

<DM_Dox> There's a badly damaged section of his mind that remembers opening a door, and then... nothing. The memory was taken, but not in the same way Raido himself takes memories, with care for the thing's preservation. No, this was ripped out and cast aside by a being powerful and heartless.

<DM_Dox> And then he feels it. Like stepping through a tripwire, something gives. And then an all too familiar presence begins to filter out of the cracks in this ruptured mind.

<Raido> Raido growls with impatience while Raido searches the threads surrounding the torn memory. Raido shots at the other two warning of the impending danger.

<Raido> But Raido and Raido have come so close to piecing together the man's mind.

<DM_Dox> Unfortunately for Raido, Raido, and Raido, the warning comes too late. The same chaotic maelstrom of pure mental power seeps through the cracks around this inciting incident and coalesces in Markus's mind. Many voices speak at once. "Well, little mentalist. We meet again."

<Raido> "Raido, look out!" "No it can't be..." "Oo, look what I found..."

<DM_Dox> Unlike last time, the presence doesn't seem content with being a shapeless mass of psychic power. Instead, it starts condensing, turning solid, taking a set shape, until a strange humanoid stands before him.

<DM_Dox> This is a bizarre looking woman. She may be a slim human, a large-ish elf, or a half elf; her black, braided hair completely covers her ears and eyes. A tremendous rose with a huge, too-real looking eye is hooked into her hair. She has makeup on her bottom lips that resemble cartoonishly huge buck teeth. She practically radiates overwhelming power.

<DM_Dox> http://nesskain.deviantart.com/art/Oxford-Circus-Roselyn-Lenoir-487350782

<DM_Dox> "'Ello 'ello there!" She gives a big grin. Stranger still with the makeup.

<Raido> Raido fights Raido's near panicked pulling from the padded cell, "You are her? The Lesser Evil Raido has told me about?" Raido looks up from his sorting. "Oh so that's her. Not what I was expecting."

<DM_Dox> "I am." She shrugs. "Trying a new look for the time being. I think it's quite fetching..."

<Raido> "Why are you here?" "She's here to kill you! Run!" "Yeah, definitely fetching, although, I'd loose the buck teeth."

<DM_Dox> "I'm here because you're trying to fix this man, and I can't allow that. If I wanted you dead it'd already be done. And the buck teeth are NOT negotiable." She harrumps at the last one.

<Raido> "I guess they could grow on me. Say, what are you doing tonight for dinner?" "Get out, get out, get out!" "Whatever you torn out of this man I could not replace, so what harm is it to give him back his sanity?"

<DM_Dox> "I've got a pie baking right now actually! Apple cinnamon, trying to get the recipe just right. And as far as the sanity goes, I've already had enough of this worm going through my business; I think I like him just how he is." She is apparently ignoring the voice of caution completely.

<Raido> Raido continues sorting, although he appears to now be favoring the most vibrant memories over the most important. "Apple pie is a favorite of mine. Especially with the crunchy bits ontop. We could compare recipes and..." "You have what you need. give this man back his life or end his suffering." "No, no, nononono..."

<DM_Dox> This being of power incarnate smiles to Raido and says, "Oh yes, the crunchy bits are the best. And I suppose I could just kill him, that'd be easier on everyone. But before I do, I wanted to talk a bit about the games! I've been working so hard on them!"

<DM_Dox> "I was really hoping you'd be a surprise to the others, but it seems somehow you seem to have found them already. How did that come about, hmmm?"

<Raido> "As your newest abductee, I am not familiar with the rules of these games. Are they, wait.." "After pie what else should we do on our date? Do you like... umm"

<Raido> "Raido, the Schism is wearing off! Get out of there before she kills Markus!"

<DM_Dox> "Oh, shut up, I have questions first!" She waves her hand and suddenly the Psycrystal voice is silenced. She turns back to the coherent one for now. "So. I asked a question. How did you find the others?"

<Raido> "The others? They found me, or at least I didn't go looking for them. I'm not really sure why we were brought together other than you."

<DM_Dox> The Lesser Evil approaches the primary Raido, the rose-eye changing to have a hint of menace to it. "Raido, honey. You had help to find them, didn't you? I've been alive fore a very long time, and I've never seen a coincidence like that..."

<Raido> Raido moves over to Raido, "In a way, you are right... I" Raido casts modify memory on Raido concentrating on the woman he once loved.

<Raido> He scours away at her image, her name, even the sound of her voice

<DM_Dox> And with that, Raido removes the evidence linking the group to... someone? It's not clear. TLE's rose-eye bulges. "Wait, what did you just do...?"

<Raido> "I don't... I..." "Let's go." Raido grabs Raido by the metaphysical arm and flees TLE. Raido doesn't resist so much as stumble in confusion. "Wait, I'm not done sorting..." "Give it up before she kills Markus." "Lessie, I lov..." The Schism finally collapses and Raido is left fleeing as one.

<DM_Dox> "Well, on your way out, just wanted to let you know! The first games are starting soon! Let the others know since you found them SOMEHOW."

<DM_Dox> She makes no attempt to slow his retreat.

<Raido> Raido collapses on the floor of the cell, gasping for air. Sweat soaks his robes and his limbs shake violently.

<DM_Dox> Three things become clear as his mind finishes returning to his body.

<DM_Dox> 1. His psycrystal has a massive crack through it. It's not shattered, but needs repair.

<DM_Dox> 2. Captain Calther and the unnamed orderly are leaning over him. He can't hear it yet, but Calther is mouthing, "Raido! Talk to me!" Both look worried.

<DM_Dox> 3. Looking past them, he sees that Markus is leaking frankly ridiculous amounts of blood from every orifice on his head.

<Raido> Raido struggles to give wind to his voice, pointing one trembling finger at Markus. "Kill him!"

<DM_Dox> The orderly looks up and gasps as he sees Markus's state. The sound is distant, but Raido hears the man shouting, 'What did you DO!?" He goes to Markus's side, pulling a small stoppered vial from a pouch on his belt.

<DM_Dox> Calther remains focused on Raido. "Why? What happened?"

<Raido> "She is tor-torturing him. Save his soul! Kill him!"

<DM_Dox> Calther looks to Markus and nods. The orderly seems to be trying to shove a potion down his throat, but Calther steps in instead, drawing his longsword and stabbing him squarely in the heart. The man's suffering ends. The orderly backs away, looking panicked.

<Raido> Raido slumps in relief and he allows his eyes to close for the briefest moment.

<DM_Dox> ---

[universatile-girl]

Some things about life

I don't have a particularly interesting lifestyle, and I certainly don't have answers to life's questions. But I pay attention to a lot of things and I think that counts towards some wisdom. I like to analyze my human experience, sometimes a little too much. So I came to the conclusion that we are too quick to pass off others experiences just cause they're not our own. If we can face the reality that we all experience life in a similar way, we might stop disagreeing so frequently and causing large world problems. Fundamentally we are the same, the differences come from how we interpret. So, by one day sharing my life in a much more interesting and stylized way but for now in this post, I am acknowledging my relativity to the next person, and thereafter passing on a sense of harmony and understanding. I like to think that we can all see similarities with each other more easily than we see differences, it just sometimes masks itself in envy or longing. Off we go. I can't decide if all people are slightly anxious by default, or if I feel it more than usual. Either the world is becoming much more anxious with each new generation or we are expressing our paranoiA more or I just have an undiagnosed mental illness. I am strongly suspicious of the latter, but then again so are other people my age. And we'd all like to think we're special. And that's how we're the same. So with this connection in mind, maybe I'll run through some daily thoughts I entertain myself with. It's really difficult to map out a thought process in words but I'll do my best. I wake up some mornings wondering what the hell im doing and where I'm going ultimately, and then quickly my inner compass is realigned and a flush of logical things strike me, and I'm then in a much more stable mindset and able to function like what I'm hoping a normal person looks like. Sometimes you just wake up and for a brief moment everything about you has left and you're standing in an empty white space with no idea what is right wrong, up down, and one by one the relevant things, your core building blocks stack up and reveal that you do in fact have ambitions and desires and feelings and worries. That's the worst part, the worries. I could do without those, but when I think about it I don't even know who I would become without my worries. They more and more seem to make up their very own building block in that empty space. I wake up and I'm most likely tired. It's a rare day that I awaken feeling refreshed and ready to go. But I've been going to work semi easily the past month, and the dread has stayed kind of at bay. Making the decisions to cut my hours was extremely helpful in ways I didn't know were possible. Sometimes making less is worth it when your mood is improved, and once you've gained enough strength you can go back healthy. I'm getting there. Then sometimes my worries get in the way and mess everything up. But I'm trying to look past that. One of the most difficult things about this has been trying to objectively explain my experiences in a way that they might convey even part of the same emotions I have as the narrator. For example at work today I had a casual conversation with my friend in the back about weed. But if I pick apart that sentence I have to reveal all of the thoughts I had about each part. It was casual but it didn't feel casual to me, because I don't know much about the topic and therefore am unsure and insecure of my terminology and common practices. I don't know if she was engaged or pretending, or thinking wow what a loser we have nothing in common, even though I shared my personal experiences. Maybe I came off rushed and uninterested unintentionally. Is she even my friend? I want to believe so, we have a fun at work every time we work together. But is it just a work relationship or could we enjoy each other's company outside of work. Would we? Does she talk about me to other coworkers, I think I must... so those 5 minutes of my day turned into a whirlpool of thoughts and feelings in my head. And this happens with almost every conversation or even interaction with another human being I have, if I have the time to process it. If not I will probably find myself in a similar situation as right now, awake in bed at 12:12am considering every aspect and increasing my heart rate in the process. At times at work I feel really confident in who I am and what I'm doing, and that's cool. I got mad and passively aggressively bitchy at a couple customers today. I didn't really feel sorry, which is unlike me. The environment at work has changed me a bit that way. I can't control it sometimes. But yet as soon as I'm off the clock I revert to same old awkward shy me, and forget I ever become anyone else. I feel like this is strange, and I wonder if others experience this. They must, but why does nobody talk about these things? I had a goal in mind with this while I was in the shower, literally the only time I'm unable to jot down ideas like usual but it has escaped me and my eyes are begging for sleep. If only I could at least make my thoughts poetic so they might be easier to digest. But one day I believe I will, and I'll have novels with characters who express my reflections in the most comprehensive outlets so I need not worry.