#part of it is that my skill level just *isn't* quite where it could be

[chuluoyi]

✎ all of me

- gojo satoru x reader

you understand that some things in marriage just needs compromise. and he soon understands too, when you're at your most vulnerable and he fails to be by your side when you need him the most

genre: angst, hurt/comfort, established relationship (you're married & have a son!) argument, feral gojo, mentions of injury & blood, fluff

note: if it isn't obvious by now i'm in the mood of angst-hurt/comfort this week HEHE :)) this is longer than the usual love entry, so i hope you'll enjoy it!

a part of gojo's love entries

general masterlist

Bantering with your husband is not uncommon―in fact, it happens on daily basis.

"Satoru― I'm talking to you!"

But having serious arguments with him is another matter entirely.

Your fists tightening at your sides, facing his unamused expression. How insufferable is he? You told him that everyday, but right now, he's truly surpassed previous levels of infuriating behavior.

"And I can hear you, sweetheart," he retorted, casting a glance your way. The term of endearment he used for you sounding almost like a sneer to your ears and you felt offended.

"I don't think you're taking this seriously," you griped, trying to calm your emotions, still balling your hands. "Someone is following our son on his way back from school―how can you be this... flippant?!"

Numerous photograph of your son exiting the school building from different angles had arrived in your mailbox, and if it wasn't a creepy warning from those who placed a target on his back, then you didn't know what it was.

Satoru let out an exasperated grunt. "I'm telling you, I'll pick him up for the rest of the week. No one will lay a hand on him."

You gritted your teeth. "And I'm telling you, they're trying to make you do just that. Even morons know not to mess with you― they're leaving hints, and you're taking the bait!"

Contrary to what you believed, Satoru felt just as worried as you upon knowing that someone might have marked his precious son, who was now six years old and had recently started attending preschool.

But this is where your approaches differ. You are always the cautious one, overanalyzing each detail, while he leans towards being impulsive, often resorting to brute force.

"Who do you think can stand a chance against me?" Satoru challenged with a real sneer this time. "Remember my words, wife, no one is going to hurt me, you or our baby. I'll end them where they stand."

"That's not the point!" you threw your hands in the air, irate. "Satoru, they're going to take advantage of―"

"Look, I don't want to argue with you." Satoru's gaze was hard on you, his tone clipped, and it made you stiffen. "His safety comes first— and you, of all people, should know I'd never let anything happen to him. You need to quit nitpicking and have a little faith in me."

"I know you are more than capable, but you are not―!"

And then he said it, and his words piercing through you like a knife―

"Don't compare me to you," your husband remarked a little too coldly. "I can do things you can't. Just rest your pretty head, I'll take care of the rest."

Nevermind that he blatantly dismissed your skills as a jujutsu sorcerer, nevermind that he totally didn't listen to you at all―he just went and made himself look like some sort unparalleled god, forgetting how much his hubris could actually take him.

And all these thoughts only made you angrier.

"So be it then." You tried desperately to hold yourself from shaking because you'd be damned if you showed it to him. "A word of advice, Satoru: beware of your arrogance."

With those words, you spun around, marching off toward your son's room, because no way in hell was you going to sleep with that obnoxious prick tonight.

But when you caught the sight of your baby scuttling away from the gap in the door, a fragment of your heart crumbled. Oh. He has seen it all.

In Gojo Satoru's mind, he is made of two things: a powerful jujutsu sorcerer and a family man.

With his immense strength, comes a certain responsibility. And with that responsibility, certain habits have formed. If you just took a few seconds to breathe and looked back throughout the past decade he'd spent with you, you'd know that in fact―

It was also his way to shield you. Satoru stands by the principle that you and his little boy must be protected at all cost, and he most certainly would pull all stops to do just that.

But frankly, he couldn't deny that he felt insulted by how defiant you were. Did you really think he would let anyone ever touch your―his―son? He wouldn't, they'd meet his wrath first and you should've known that.

Still, something akin to guilt nudged at his conscience as he lay alone in your shared bed that night. It felt strange not having you cuddling him. He felt empty.

. . .

None of your shampoo-scented pillow, none of your nightdresses, all of it replaced by a single photo hanging in the wall and the urn of ashes—

Abruptly, he jerked his eyes open, shaken from the most dreadful nightmare he had experienced—

Of you no longer by his side.

“Mama.” Your little boy looked up to you with his doe-blue eyes in the next day, his hand gripping yours. “I’ll be fine.”

You were accompanying him to the preschool. While Satoru had requested Ichiji to drive him, you insisted on tagging along to keep a watchful eye as well. You'd leave your husband to pick him up later just as he wanted.

“Huh?” you turned to him, tilting your head.

“I'll stick by Uncle Ichiji's side the entire time,” he replied in a murmur. “And papa will be picking me up too later. If there are bad guys, they'll get him first.”

You bit your lip, feeling a wave of guilt wash over you. Your boy witnessed your outburst last night and hadn't inquired about it until now, and even then, he was trying to reassure you.

“So… don’t fight.” His round, cerulean eyes then darted towards you, blinking hesitantly, causing you to catch your breath.

He looks so much like Satoru. At six years old, he was the spitting image of him, except his personality—he took after you in that area. It was as if your son was a softer, more innocent version of him. And your heart twisted, remembering your argument last night.

Don't compare me to you.

With a sigh, you bent down to be eye-level with him and managed a smile, holding both of his little hands. “I’m sorry… it was just misunderstanding last night, okay? Don’t worry.”

“…really?”

“Really. Mama and papa were just tired,” you tried to reason, a thin smile on your face. "It's going to be okay, just like you said, yeah? Papa will beat the bad guys out there."

“Will he pull through...? If they bring a knife, and he's just there laughing, they can cut him.”

A giggle escaped your lips at your baby's innocent wonderings, easing the ache in your heart as you recalled how Satoru humored him in so many ways.

You gently poked your son in the cheek. "Nah, do you remember what he always goes on about?"

He puffed up his cheeks in response, his expression turning sour as if combing through memories of hundreds of shenanigans Satoru had instigated to recall his words. You let out a hearty chuckle, finding him so adorable.

"He's strong, he's going to win. He always does."

"Oh. Mmm." Your son scrunched up his nose cutely, before looking away and squeezing your hand. A sincerer smile bloomed in your lips, heart melting at the sight of your growing munchkin.

You will protect him. And maybe you could patch things up with Satoru later that night. Maybe yesterday you were just too paranoid.

That was the plan... at least until your son suddenly screamed—someone wrenching him from your grasp. Without a second thought, you reacted, flipping the attacker away from you and him.

. . . and that was the beginning of how everything started to unravel so terribly that day.

"Gojo-san...! There's been an incident!"

He got that call right after he finished some things with Yaga. Satoru teleported to the preschool right away, only to be greeted by a scene of utter chaos.

Several teachers stood outside the building, and police officers were present at the scene. It was all a blur of cursed energy until his eyes caught sight of—

His little boy, red-faced and obviously in fear, was clinging to Ichiji, who was frantically making calls. Some teachers gathered around him were seemingly trying to coax him to speak.

He didn't waste a second to dash towards him, tearing through the crowd.

"Are you okay? Hey, buddy, what happened?" Satoru pulled him away from Ichiji and turned him over, crouching to his level to check for any signs of injury or harm.

And upon seeing him actually here, his son's eyes immediately welled up with tears, and Satoru felt a chill run through his veins as he broke into sobs, which quickly turned into heart-wrenching wails.

"Mama—! F-find mama—!" the little boy choked out through his tears, clutching onto his shirt tightly and crumbling in his embrace, thoroughly inconsolable.

Satoru's sharp gaze quickly swept over the scene, seeking any clues, while he tightened his hold over him. It was then he noticed traces of your cursed energy mingled with blood.

They hurt you.

"Hey, kiddo—listen to me, it's going to be alright, yeah?" Satoru said, gently pulling away to wipe away his tears, holding the boy's face tenderly in his hands. "Go with Ichiji for now, okay? I'm going to bring mama back, I promise."

He didn't need to be told twice. Your son is always obedient when it matters the most. He gave him a small nod, still shaking with tears.

"Don't worry," he flashed a reassuring smile and ruffled his hair. "I'm the strongest, remember? I'll get her back," he vowed once again. "She'll be fine. Wait for me until then, yeah?"

Ichiji was ready to leave as he had called for those in headquarters as backup in case anything were to happen again. Trusting him to keep his son safe, Satoru took off as soon as he could no longer see the sight of his son's tear-streaked face trying to watch him as the car pulled away.

"I won't repeat myself— where is my wife?"

Satoru wasn't playing this time. He skipped past taunts and just plain threats. These little fries, he thought.

The man he held by the throat was in a lot of distress. "Hyaaa! It's him! Please, please, let me go! I'm acting under orders!"

He then flung him across the wall— might have added more cursed energy than necessary.

At the moment, his entire focus was on trying to locate you. He couldn't let his mind wander to anything else; in fact, he didn't permit himself to.

It didn't take him long to piece together the general location of where you were through the residual of your cursed energy. They stationed several hooligans in this abandoned warehouse to stall him, but he got rid of them quickly and he could sense that you were close by.

"It's Gojo Satoru!"

"Run! Ruuuun!"

What a pain. They picked the wrong person to mess with, and Satoru's lips curled into a manic grin as he opened his palm, pulling them in—

"Cursed Technique Lapse: Blue."

Chaos erupted as the building collapsed around him. He hoped you would realize he was here and manage to avoid getting caught in the wreckage. He was sure you'd know though.

And true to his thoughts, soon he found you— blasting your attacker away with a powerful kick.

Satoru thought that you were a sight to behold, really. And he was about to call out to you when he felt it.

It happened almost in an instant. The way his heart dropped to his stomach, and how his body reacted, barely whispering the incantation for Red as he shot it at something lurking behind you—

At that moment, the only thing you were aware of was the foul stench of a curse. Time seemed to stop before the overwhelming force of Red expelled it away from you.

But before then, you experienced a searing, white-hot pain that scorched through your flesh and pierced your abdomen—

"Y/N―fuck―!" The voice that came from Satoru's throat was raw and laden with panic.

He pulled you against him protectively as you collapsed, blinded by pain. He immediately felt warmth spreading across his lower body—your blood was rapidly drenching his shirt, and he felt a shiver down his spine.

You held onto him tightly while suppressing your scream, feeling every bit of your strength drain away along with the dark crimson blood that poured out of you.

"―toru―" you managed to croak amidst the scalding pain, curling and whimpering in his hold.

"Hey― sweetheart, please―" his voice rang in your ears, as he pressed down on your wound. His hands were shaking, and you clawed at him and groaned in agony. "I-I'm taking you back now― You're going to be alright, yeah?"

The wound was beyond anything you had experienced before, causing you to cry out and gasp for air. It was almost as if something fried your insides. It was hard to stay conscious.

"I've got you now. You're going to be okay." His voice was coarse, as he hurriedly carried you out. And he tried not to let the full-blown panic take over him when your body went limp in his arms, your breaths slowing, head lolling in his chest.

"You're going to be alright! You hear me, sweetheart? You're going to make it. Our baby― he's waiting for you. I promise you, you're going to be fine―"

Perhaps he was trying to tell that to himself, because despite the excruciating pain, a wave of reassurance washed over you.

You were in the arms of the strongest sorcerer alive, what more could you possibly afraid of?

A special grade curse. They had actually unleashed a potent curse and likely aimed at him as their final card—until it veered off course and struck you, leaving a searing gash across your abdomen.

Satoru felt numb as he sat in the waiting room in his bloodied uniform. You got hurt so terribly right in front of his eyes, and all he could feel was this profound void that seemed to bore through him and pierced his soul.

He was supposed to protect you. He said it to your face that nothing and no one would touch your son, and it was in his wedding vows that he'd protect you with his life too.

And yet what happened?

If only he was faster. If only he was able to pull you to him and protect you with his infinity—none of this shit would have happened.

Seeing your face twisted in agony and smeared with blood made him feel sick to his stomach. Inside that OR, you hovered on the brink of life and death, and he was here, unable to do anything.

Satoru rested his head against the wall, feeling a sharp pain surge through his chest. He remembered waking up to your face every morning, the way your touches felt, and how you had brightened his world for the past decade. If he lost you now... he wouldn't survive it. He would wreck anything, everything—

"Papa!" and came his voice of reason. Satoru immediately discarded his bloodstained jacket by instinct, throwing it away before his boy could see it, with Ichiji and Megumi closely trailing behind.

His son crashed himself into him and threw his little arms around his torso, crying—and in that very second, the thump of his heart sounded louder in his ears. Somehow it felt like a knife that twisted his insides.

"Hey, kiddo." Satoru repositioned him so that he would sit on his lap and hugged him, patting him in the back. "There, there... it's alright, yeah? Mama is inside, she'll get better soon."

Your little boy pulled away and wiped his eyes, and Satoru chuckled as he helped him blow his nose. His child was incredibly adorable, and his actions mirrored yours to such an extent that it made Satoru's heart soften.

"Mama g-got hurt trying to... tell me to g-go..." the boy suddenly said amidst his quieter sniffles. "And... she s-said... papa— i-is strong and g-going to win..."

You believe in him. Ignoring the ache in his chest, only able to reply him with a "Yeah..."

Not long after, Shoko emerged from the operating room and informed him that the surgery had been successful, though you would likely need to have a one-week stay in the hospital for observation. He intended to move you to the VIP suite and stay the night there, but then he remembered his son, who was holding his hand.

Satoru crouched down and patted him in the head, fixing him a smile. "See? Mama is okay, but she needs to sleep here to get even better. Now you go home first with big brother Megumi, yeah?"

Your son adored Megumi and often begged you to let him stay over at his place, but this time he looked hesitant, fiddling with his little fingers. "Really? Mama will be home... soon?"

"Mm-hmm, the more she sleeps here, the faster she'll go back home, alright?"

And with that, his baby nodded and Satoru turned to Megumi with a nod. "Thank you for this, Megumi."

The boy whose life he had once saved on some sort of a whim, now grown up and shared the same concern he had for you, Fushiguro Megumi had never before witnessed his benefactor expressing such sincere gratitude for anything before.

When you came to, your body felt as heavy as lead.

The discomfort in your abdomen made you flinch, and you almost let out a groan until you turned to your side and saw him.

Satoru was asleep while sitting in the sofa next to your bed, dark circles evident under his eyes. It might have been your imagination, but his cheeks appeared to be slightly red too.

You tried to recall what had happened to you when it came back—you urging your son to run away as you let yourself being taken away, almost escaping from that warehouse, the flash of excruciating pain, and Satoru's stricken voice.

So he must've been here since last night. Any remnants of your disagreement seemed to have vanished, seeing him there with you, barely covering himself with the blanket, with a frown still marking his forehead even in his sleep.

You wanted to reach out to him until the movement sent a sharp jab to your stomach and you cried out a bit.

In that split second, Satoru's eyes jerked open, and realizing you were awake, his gaze locked onto yours. "Y/N—" But your strained whimper and expression told him everything. "Does it hurt? I-I'll get Shoko, wait—"

And then he hit the call button. Throughout it all, he kept a firm grip on your hand for reassurance. A few minutes later, Shoko arrived and examined your wound, subsequently administering painkillers to alleviate your discomfort.

"It's going to leave a scar," she explained grimly, showing the mangled skin where the curse had made its mark on you, and seeing that, Satoru clenched his fists.

Shoko sighed, empathizing with her friend's frustration. "It's going to fade with time, don't worry. You did well, Gojo. You brought her here quickly. Had you been even slightly later, there could have been an irreversible damage to her organs."

But your husband remained quiet, unable to bring himself to look at you. And after she left, you tried to finally voice your question to him.

"O-our—"

"He's fine," Satoru immediately answered, squeezing your hand. "Our boy is fine. I'll tell Megumi to visit later—he's with him."

A sigh of relief came out of you. "Thank... goodness."

But his expression seemed to fall even further after hearing your response. Satoru settled himself on the seat next to you and lowered the rail on your bed, allowing you to be even closer to each other.

"Do you not feel any pain anymore?" he asked then, gently tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear. He looked so sad, a stark contrast of how he usually was, and it bugged you.

"No... I feel fine now."

"Then, can I hug you?"

Of course you nodded without a second thought, and carefully, he wrapped his arms around your body, pulling you close and resting his face on the crook of your neck.

You knew what it was. Satoru was still visibly shaken by what had happened to you, and he wasn't great at expressing himself, so he tried to find consolation through this physical closeness instead.

"I'm okay..." you patted his back, trying to convince him. "I'm alright now, yeah?" But to your surprise, suddenly his whole body started to shake. "Satoru...?"

“…’m sorry.” His voice was barely above a whisper as he nuzzled you. “I shouldn't... have let you get this hurt...”

It always amazes you how Satoru always gets this distressed whenever you sustain any injury. You had seen him cry precisely two times now—once after you gave birth to your son and experienced severe bleeding, and now.

"It's not your fault..." you whispered in response. "You... have protected me well."

He held you tighter, his tone faltering. "I didn't."

"You have..." you stroked his hair, trying to convince him. "I'm still here, aren't I?"

Hearing you say that made Satoru's chest ache. The thought of something like this happening to you was unimaginable, and now that it had, he couldn't come to terms with seeing you hurt right in front of him.

"Don't—" he choked on his voice, his breath trembled against your neck. "Don't ever put yourself in danger again. If something happened to you, I wouldn't be able to live with myself..."

You couldn't make that promise. Despite the pleading in his voice, you knew deep down that your son's life—and his—meant more, and given the chance, you would obviously save theirs for yours.

“Satoru... I love you, you know that, right?”

So you simply embraced him close, hoping that in this life, you would live long enough that he would never have to see you like this again.

Epilogue

"Papa, how do I become stronger?"

Satoru blinked when his son asked him that so innocently and curiously, taken aback as he led him to your private room later that afternoon. "Oh? What brought this on?"

His first and only son, a perfect miniature of himself, pursed his lips. "I don't want Mama to get hurt again..."

Satoru's heart warmed at his baby’s sincere words, and despite himself, he chuckled.

"What's funny?" his son leveled a glare at him. "I'm being serious."

"Well, aren't you such a good boy? Don't worry, kiddo, I'll teach you my ways~"

"What ways?"

"Well, no need to rush, pumpkin. First of all, you will have to harness your skills and then you have to be more like me—"

"Do I have to be like you…? Is there no other way?"

"—? What's wrong with being more like me?"

"Everything...?"

[ryanthel0ser]

I just finished Sk8 the Infinity

first off "queer subtext" my ass, it is front and center you can't NOT see it.

second, oh my god the theme of love and having a passion for something is done in a way that scratches my brain in the best way. The three main relationships, Reki and Langa, Joe and Cherry, Tadashi and Adam, whether you think they are gay or not they totally are all highlight this dynamic of loving skating versus getting lost in the competition.

Reki and Langa are the clearest example of this. Reki loves skating, he may not be the best at it but he truly loves it. He understands the tricks and the skills, he knows it so well that he can make boards specifically to suit nuanced skills like Langa's because he loves it. He has the passion and the spirit for it which is the central thing he learns during his character arc in the show. But even outside his arc, Reki embodies the spirit of skating, that love of skating. That's what makes his race with Adam so important and that's present in why Langa feels the way he does when he's skating with Reki other than being gay. Langa falls in love with skating and Reki but then he starts to get lost in the competition of it all. Once he races with Adam (who is the antithesis of Reki's skating spirit), his love for skating is poisoned by Adam's "love" of skating. He starts focusing on skills, getting better, reaching Adam's level, he starts losing the spirit of skating. He loses Reki. Once Langa realizes what he's missing, he begins seeking it out again, looking for Reki. But Reki hasn't come back yet, the fun of skating is dead still until Reki has his own realization. Something that is brought back in part by the two other "Reki's" of these relationships: Joe and Tadashi.

Joe and Cherry's is the one that is in the background the most, but it's clear they're meant to parallel Reki and Langa's relationship. While the dynamic is not as extreme as the other two relationships it is still present. Joe loves skating, even if he wasn't the best at skating he'd still be doing it. That is made clear in his conversation with Reki when he gets him to come see Langa at the tournament. He understands that. His race against Adam isn't about proving his skill, he wants to beat Adam because he hates what Adam has become and what Adam is embodying. He wants to punch him in the face. Cherry however does want to prove his skill to Adam. He wants to beat Adam because he's better than him. In a sense, Adam's "love" tainted his enjoyment of skating too. Hence the AI board, the board giving him everything down to the millisecond, to the decimal so he could get the best time possible. I honestly believe part of Joe's worry during Cherry and Adam's race is because he knows Cherry is going to get lost in trying to surpass Adam and forget the fun of skating. Then Cherry gets slammed in the face quite literally by this, he's forced to face what's being going on through this injury. We don't see the resolution of this since it's regulated to the background, but it's still clear these two are meant to parallel Reki and Langa's dynamic towards skating. Also there's the whole thing where Adam is like Cherry's ex and Joe wants to fight the ex that hurt Cherry yadda yadda yes I ship Matchablossom what's new.

Tadashi and Adam are the most extreme of this dynamic going in a negative direction. Adam as I stated is the antithesis to the spirit of skating. He's completely forgotten what it meant to skate and is now tainting every other skater around him with this "love" he has. He's so lost in this darkness that it's seeping into the other skaters like Langa. All that matters is being the best, to crush everyone else below his level so he's completely alone. He's ruining skating for everyone else. Tadashi is the spirit of skating for him. Tadashi is the one that introduced him to skating and led him to fall in love with it as a comfort and an escape from the horrible environment he was being raised in. Skating with Tadashi was his escape. Tadashi was a comfort. But then Adam is found out by his father and Tadashi makes a mistake, but not the one he believes for most of the show. Instead of leading Adam back to the fun of skating, he lets Adam trample it. Rid of it. Put it completely in the background because he blames himself for what happened to Adam that day. And Adam doesn't rid of Tadashi because skating is still a comfort to him, though twisted and abused. He refuses to let it go. To let him go. Tadashi then tries to completely take away skating from Adam and then tries to get Reki to abandon it too. However, Tadashi's broken spirit only fuels Reki's back to life. Then, as he watches the race, Tadashi realizes where he went wrong with Adam. What the true love for skating was, not what Adam thinks it is.

This spirit of skating versus Adam is why Reki's race, Tadashi's presence in the tournament, and why Langa's race are so central. Tadashi including himself in the tournament is Adam being forced to see the dead spirit of skating that he's forgetting and it pisses him off. Reki's race is him directly being pitted against the living embodiment of that spirit of skating and while he does win the race, he still gets his ass beat. He's not stronger than it. Then his race with Langa is where he finally returns to it. Langa is like Adam, but he's fully back to the spirit of skating. He's had his character arc and now Langa helps Adam return to it as someone who experienced to a certain level what Adam is experiencing. Then Langa wins the race and the spirit of skating, the true love of skating, defeats Adam's "love." And Adam leaves the race changed, he remembers the real love of skating, he returns from that darkness he was in. The Adam of their childhood begins to return to Tadashi.

This main conflict in the show that's present in these three relationships is presented so brilliantly and it's what makes Sk8 the Infinity not just another sports anime with some possible queer subtext or baiting. It reminds me of Yuri on Ice and how the relationship to ice skating is reflected in Yuri and Victor's relationship, a show that I absolutely adore (and yes I wept profusely over it when the announcement came out). I desperately hope that Sk8 the Infinity does not receive the same fate because this show has something great that I want to see continued, it's almost a spiritual successor to Yuri on Ice to me.

Now I need the studio to let them lean into the very very very gay tones of these relationships like Yuri on Ice because holy shit all three of them have it. I thought Reki and Langa were going to kiss in the back of that van, Cherry and Joe kept acting like a couple and the english dub only emphasized that, and then that last scene with Adam and Tadashi hello????

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: hello! thank you for running this blog. i hope your vacation was well-spent!

i am an enfp in the third year of my engineering degree. i had initially wanted to do literature and become an author. however, due to the job security associated with this field, my parents got me to do computer science, specialising in artificial intelligence. i did think it was the end of my life at the time, but eventually convinced myself otherwise. after all, i could still continue reading and writing as hobbies.

now, three years in, i am having the same thoughts again. i've been feeling disillusioned from the whole gen-ai thing due to art theft issues and people using it to bypass - dare i say, outsource - creative work. also, the environmental impact of this technology is astounding. yet, every instructor tells us to use ai to get information that could easily be looked up in textbooks or google. what makes it worse is that i recently lost an essay competition to a guy who i know for a fact used chatgpt.

i can't help feeling that by working in this industry, i am becoming a part of the problem. at the same time, i feel like a conservative old person who is rejecting modern technology and griping about 'the good old days'.

another thing is that college work is just so all-consuming and tiring that i've barely read or written anything non-academic in the past few years. quitting my job and becoming a writer a few years down the road is seeming more and more like a doomed possibility.

i've been trying to do what i can at my level. i write articles about ethical considerations in ai for the college newsletter. i am in a technical events club, and am planning out an artificial intelligence introductory workshop for juniors where i will include these topics, if approved by the superiors.

from what i've read on your blog, it doesn't seem like you have a very high opinion of ai, either, but i've only seen you address it in terms of writing. i'd like to know, are there any ai applications that you find beneficial? i think that now that i am here, i could try to make a difference by working on projects that actually help people, rather than use some chatgpt api to do the same things, repackaged. i just felt like i need the perspective of someone who thinks differently than all those around me. not in a 'feed my tunnel-vision' way, but in a 'tell me i'm not stupid' way.

----------------------

It's kind of interesting (in the "isn't life whacky?" sort of way) you chose the one field that has the potential to decimate the field that you actually wanted to be in. I certainly understand your inner conflict and I'll give you my personal views, but I don't know how much they will help your decision making.

I'm of course concerned about the ramifications on writing not just because I'm a writer but because, from the perspective of education and personal growth, I understand the enormous value of writing skills. Learning to write analytically is challenging. I've witnessed many people meet that challenge bravely, and in the process, they became much more intelligent and thoughtful human beings, better able to contribute positively to society. So, it pains me to see the attitude of "don't have to learn it cuz the machine does it". However, writing doesn't encompass my full view on AI.

I wouldn't necessarily stereotype people who are against new technology as "old and conservative", though some of them are. My parents taught me to be an early adopter of new tech, but it doesn't mean I don't have reservations about it. I think, psychologically, the main reason people resist is because of the real threat it poses. Historically, we like to gloss over the real human suffering that results from technological advancement. But it is a reasonable and legitimate response to resist something that threatens your livelihood and even your very existence.

For example, it is already difficult enough to make a living in the arts, and AI just might make it impossible. Even if you do come up with something genuinely creative and valuable, how are you going to make a living with it? As soon as creative products are digitized, they just get scraped up, regurgitated, and disseminated to the masses with no credit or compensation given to the original creator. It's cannibalism. Cannibalism isn't sustainable.

I wonder if people can seriously imagine a society where human creativity in the arts has been made obsolete and people only have exposure to AI creation. There are plenty of people who don't fully grasp the value of human creativity, so they wouldn't mind it, but I would personally consider it to be a kind of hell.

I occasionally mention that my true passion is researching "meaning" and how people come to imbue their life with a sense of meaning. Creativity has a major role to play in 1) almost everything that makes life/living feel worthwhile, 2) generating a culture that is worth honoring and preserving, and 3) building a society that is worthy of devoting our efforts to.

Living in a capitalist society that treats people as mere tools of productivity and treats education as a mere means to a paycheck already robs us of so much meaning. In many ways, AI is a logical result of that mindset, of trying to "extract" whatever value humans have left to offer, until we are nothing but empty shells.

I don't think it's a coincidence that AI comes out of a society that devalues humanity to the point where a troubling portion of the population suffers marginalization, mental disorder, and/or feels existentially empty. Many of the arguments I've heard from AI proponents about how it can improve life sound to me like they're actually going to accelerate spiritual starvation.

Existential concerns are serious enough, before we even get to the environmental concerns. For me, environment is the biggest reason to be suspicious of AI and its true cost. I think too many people are unaware of the environmental impact of computing and networking in general, let alone running AI systems. I recently read about how much energy it takes to store all the forgotten chats, memes, and posts on social media. AI ramps up carbon emissions dramatically and wastes an already dwindling supply of fresh water.

Can we really afford a mass experiment with AI at a time when we are already hurtling toward climate catastrophe? When you think about how much AI is used for trivial entertainment or pointless busywork, it doesn't seem worth the environmental cost. I care about this enough that I try to reduce my digital footprint. But I'm just one person and most of the population is trending the other way.

With respect to integrating AI into personal life or everyday living, I struggle to see the value, often because those who might benefit the most are the ones who don't have access. Yes, I've seen some people have success with using AI to plan and organize, but I also always secretly wonder at how their life got to the point of needing that much outside help. Sure, AI may help with certain disadvantages such as learning or physical disabilities, but this segment of the population is usually the last to reap the benefits of technology.

More often than not, I see people using AI to lie, cheat, steal, and protect their own privilege. It's particularly sad for me to see people lying to themselves, e.g., believing that they're smart for using AI when they're actually making themselves stupider, or thinking that an AI companion can replace real human relationship.

I continue to believe that releasing AI into the wild, without developing proper safeguards, was the biggest mistake made so far. The revolts at OpenAI prove, once again, that companies cannot be trusted to regulate themselves. Tech companies need a constant stream of data to feed the beast and they're willing to sacrifice our well-being to do it. It seems the only thing we can do as individuals is stop offering up our data, but that's not going to happen en masse.

Even though you're aware of these issues, I want to mention them for those who aren't, and for the sake of emphasizing just how important it is to regulate AI and limit its use to the things that are most likely to produce a benefit to humanity, in terms of actually improving quality of human life in concrete terms.

In my opinion, the most worthwhile place to use AI is medicine and medical research. For example, aggregating and analyzing information for doctors, assisting surgeons with difficult procedures, and coming up with new possibilities for vaccines, treatments, and cures is where I'd like to see AI shine. I'd also love to see AI applied to:

scientific research, to help scientists sort, manage, and process huge amounts of information

educational resources, to help learners find quality information more efficiently, rather than feeding them misinformation

engineering and design, to build more sustainable infrastructure

space exploration, to find better ways of traveling through space or surviving on other planets

statistical analysis, to help policymakers take a more objective look at whether solutions are actually working as intended, as opposed to being blinded by wishful thinking, bias, hubris, or ideology (I recognize this point is controversial since AI can be biased as well)

Even though you work in the field, you're still only one person, so you don't have that much more power than anyone else to change its direction. There's no putting the worms back in the can at this point. I agree with you that, for the sake of your well-being, staying in the field means choosing your work carefully. However, if you want to work for an organization that doesn't sacrifice people at the altar of profit, it might be slim pickings and the pay might not be great. Staying true to your values can be costly too.

[running-swimming-living]

This is a life update. TL:DR I quit my job

Below is just a stream of consciousness. Perhaps you will find something illuminating or truthful in it.

I've been trying to write this for about two weeks now. I've been trying to figure out how to convey what I want without sharing too much. I feel like I am always trying to hide the parts of myself that are unbecoming. What I'd really like to do is share my journey as authentically as I can. That means the mental illness, the trauma, the struggle, the poor dieting and all the exercise. I don't want to be half of a person anymore.

We all have aspects of ourselves we don't share. But the toll of being so open about something so profound in my life is suffocating at times. How is it I can have a disability that nobody talks about?

But when the topic comes up, I'm not willing to share. Does that make me a coward?

I forgot to lie at church. The topic of my 78 year old friend came up and I couldn't bring myself to say that I met her because we both have mental illness. Instead, I said, "through mutual friends." But isn't that how I live my life? By lying about my illness, the symptoms, my quality of life, and the jobs I work.

I left my job because I was having symptoms regarding my mental illness and trauma. I don't want that. But it's the first time I've had to accept that my illness and past life experiences are holding me back from growing up in ways I didn't expect. I always knew I'd be entry level at 30. But I didn't realize exactly what entry level would mean. I thought I could do this 40 hr a week job for a decent pay and get on with life. But it's not that simple.

So now I'm here trying to find a job that is a good fit with someone who would hire someone like me. And that is such a real fear. I don't come without some risks.

But I have so much to offer. I can accomplish so much when I have the right support and the right environment. I certainly have skills and value. But where I find the most success with myself is where I don't know.

And I want to be a part of this community. I've been shying away from Tumblr because I feel so isolated and alone. I feel ashamed for who I am. I am not proud of how I continue to let people down. Mostly, myself.

I had a conversation with our Pastor at church. He asked what my fall plans were and I simply said, "I don't know." And he just gave me a look. A look like, "you can do so much better." And that's where I'm at, I guess.

[shanastoryteller]

Happy holidays!! Could we get a continuation of the Lady Mo au, please and thank you!! 💖

a continuation of 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18

Between jumping off the cliff, the spar, and various other almost deadly stunts he's managed to get away with doing with no one noticing, his core has grown enough that he can probably manage to track his curse mark back to his owner.

Wei Wuxian is still pretty sore, since he'd had to bolt from the healers halfway through to prevent them from finding said curse mark. He should be completely healed on his own by tomorrow, though, which is a welcome difference to having to heal at the ordinary, painfully slow pace of someone without a golden core.

"You should at least go to the cold springs," Sizhui frets, hover anxiously at his side.

He's such a worrywart.

"Don't you have lessons you should be attending?" he asks.

Jingyi winces, which is a yes.

"You're hurt," Sizhui insists.

He rolls his eyes. "I'm fine, you're all so dramatic. You should have seen some of the - uh, nothing. Get to lessons, I don't want to hear it from your great uncle if you're late."

It doesn't seem like Lan Qiren will ever be fond of him, although at least he seems to consider it his duty to be courteous to his nephew's wife, even if he's constantly radiating disapproval anytime he's nearby.

It takes some more prodding, but the kids eventually go on their way with a promise to see him after dinner that sounds like a threat. He almost goes back to the jingshi, but the cold springs don't actually sound like a bad idea.

He's alone when he gets there and strips down to just his inner robe before getting in. The warm summer air means there's more steam than normal. Wei Wuxian blames that on not notice that he's not alone.

"Xuanyu."

He jumps, slipping on the rocky bottom, and is saved from falling back by a large, warm hand on his wrist.

Lan Zhan is standing in front of him, shirtless and very close and wet, and he's maybe had a dream or two like this before.

"Wangji," he returns, trying to make his voice come out level. "I know I didn't hit you hard enough to make you come out here."

"It clears the mind," he answers, and it takes Wei Wuxian a moment to realize something is off. Lan Zhan isn't looking at his face. Instead, his gaze is just a bit lower.

He flushes, realizing that in the water his thin inner robe is basically transparent. "See something you like?" Lan Zhan jerks his gaze upright. His guilty discomfort just eggs Wei Wuxian on. "I am your wife. You're allowed to look.” He leans forward until they're pressed chest to chest, his body plastered against Lan Zhan's.

Either that's a rock or Lan Zhan is happy to see him. In the cold spring too! Wei Wuxian thinks he's flattered.

"You're quite skilled with the blade," he says, settling his other hand against the small of his back. It feels so warm there, like the heat from Lan Zhan's hand is seeping into his skin.

"I'm skilled at lots of things," he says, even though that's not really true, especially in this body where he's barely explored the equipment.

This is wrong. Lan Zhan doesn't know who he is. The body he's in doesn't even belong to him.

He means to pull back, but then Lan Zhan lowers his head and kisses him. He gasps and Lan Zhan deepens the kiss. Wei Wuxian is so dizzy with all the sensations that it takes him several moments to taste the alcohol on Lan Zhan's tongue.

"You've been drinking," he says after breaking the kiss. "We shouldn't do this."

"You are my wife," Lan Zhan says and Wei Wuxian's body feels hot all over. "I am allowed this."

Wei Wuxian has some compelling reasons one why Lan Zhan doesn't want this, but then he reaches beneath Wei Wuxian's inner robe, running his hands up his inner thigh to the hottest part of him, and all those very good reasons they shouldn't do this fly out of Wei Wuxian's head.

He's already died a virgin once. It seems a shame to do it twice.

[fog-rolls-in]

Pulp Musicals Theorycrafting: Waiting at the Gate

Major spoilers for Searcher in the Shadows below this point!

Today's theory is a bit of a wild one. We're going to discuss speculation about the future of a certain character after the ending of Episode 4...

The young man with a pencil has unfortunately written in his notebook for the last time. Or has he? Samuel's demise was unexpected, emotionally devastating, yet strangely fitting in a melancholic way.

You see, it becomes clear during Episode 4 that Samuel feels like he no longer belongs on this journey, like a spare part. He allows Kal's words to dig to his very core and questions whether he truly is just an observer to all the great things his friends are doing. In the end, he isn't afraid anymore and finally decides to act. Although, in doing so, he ended his own story so that the others' could go on.

Which is... quite a raw deal for Samuel, isn't it? It's for that reason that I don't personally believe his return would be unwelcome. If written in the right way, I think it could even elevate his arc.

Either way, that's enough of my rambling in an attempt to justify writing about this theory. Let's get into the meat of it.

In the very first verse of the Pulp story, in Planet Earth, 1835, Samuel is introduced as a young man with potential. In the context of Episode 1, this carries a clear meaning. He is the one with the potential to shake the world with his and Rose's imagination, his access to the New York Sun, and his hope in something greater.

As we reach Episode 4, it may seem that that potential is spent. He tried to find meaning and contribute to the Brick Satellite in Episode 2. He put his skills to use as a captain's clerk aboard the Ellen Austin in Episode 3. He now finds himself with no clear purpose on Lincoln Island. However, I would argue that that potential was never about the Hoax, or setting Margaret on her journey. It was something more.

In Masterpiece Containing Masterpieces, Addison first introduces the titular phrase. In literature, it was a phrase used to refer to the Nautilus, Captain Nemo's submarine. It's used in the context of the story in the same vein. But then, in the reprise of this song, Margaret uses it in a different way.

Margaret tells Samuel that he is the true masterpiece containing masterpieces, reassuring him that his actions made all of this possible. And at the end of the day, a masterpiece containing masterpieces sounds very much like something with potential to me. Clearly, on the surface level, it would seem that this use of the phrase is isolated in this moment, used specifically by Margaret. But let's run with it for a moment while we look at the bigger picture. Let's say that Samuel is the subject of the phrase in all instances, at least in a thematic sense.

The snippet above furthers this theory in two ways:

It proves that the phrase is not only used to refer to the Nautilus. In this instance, it wouldn't make any sense as they are clearly talking about something waiting for them at the gate. Furthermore, Addison may have some knowledge of something "waiting at the gate", but Samuel most certainly wouldn't.

The second point is the crux of this theory. It is the speculation that Samuel is the masterpiece waiting at the gate. In a very literal sense, when looking at previous evidence, it makes sense. But that isn't the only evidence.

Unfortunately, we still don't know very much about the gates, like, at all. All we know is that they are a physical (or metaphysical) thing, or a location, and we know that they are important. So, we're not going to discuss what they are or what they do. Instead, let's take a look at something Addison says before referencing the gate...

At first glance, a nonsensical lyric. Alright, we'll circle back to that.

"You know where to find me."

The phrase that Samuel used so many times. One poignant and meaningful enough that he used his last moments of peace to write it on the final page of his notebook. His last words.

So, what do these two points have to do with each other? Nothing... until we take a close look at one of the videos on the Pulp Musicals YouTube channel. The series of videos "Transmission" features our favourite girl M.A.I.A. pumping out the voice of the Narrator, Matt Dahan. In Transmission #9, I noticed something interesting.

Was Samuel's return hinted at all this time ago? Samuel, a masterpiece containing masterpieces, waiting at the gate. The gate, infinity's door. Furthermore, the booklets are very clear about a 'Radio Layer', which the Narrator is clearly speaking on in the Transmission. "To be continued." is always the last line of any episode, spoken by the Narrator. Searcher in the Shadows broke this tradition.

Samuel is now on the radio layer, having passed on.

Young man with potential / Imagination, twenty-seven years old.

All that being said, we know for a fact that Samuel most certainly died during The Arc of History. So, how would all this be possible? Look no further than the mouthful of a song, A Spell is Just a Rule Made With Magic (Reprise).

During Sia's argument with Ahlaam and Dakkar, she mentions being a Child of the Gates. What does this mean? The booklet very clearly capitalises it, indicating that it is a proper title. Could it be someone that is born, or reborn, through the gates' actions? This interpretation brings us to a singular conclusion in my mind:

Samuel is reborn as a Child of the Gates, and he is waiting there for his friends. The masterpiece containing masterpieces, a young man with limitless potential, that's what he means when he says that they know where to find him.

However, I would like to wrap all this up by saying that I don't personally believe this theory to be the case. While it's been very fun and interesting to come up with, and there seems to be a lot of evidence to support it, it is just one interpretation. Given the nature of musicals (and especially Pulp Musicals), it's very easy to blur the line between plot and repeating themes.

I do believe that Samuel should return. Not permanently, and not without consequence, but to end with a truly triumphant final chapter. And, of course, so that Rose and his friends can say goodbye. I have my own concept for how I would have it play out, as I'm sure everyone does.

Either way, thank you for taking the time to theorise with me. I greatly appreciate anyone that reads through my theories in full, and rest assured that I have plenty more waiting on the printing press.

~ Scott

[cerastes]

Since you like talking about relationships, I've got one I've been rotating in my head but can't really figure out: Kal'tsit and Muelsyse. They're both extremely long lived and, judging from Mumu's song, it's a major source of pain for her. But their personalities, at least on the face, are so totally different. I imagine they'd take quite a while to figure each other's shit out, since neither seems inclined to speak clearly or trust anyone more than necessary, leading to a dynamic that evolves quite a bit, and for a long time, perhaps to the confusion of less observant peers.

With both being practically the urban fantasy equivalent of long lived archmages with aching hearts, as well as experts on their particular fields, there's quite a few parallels one could make between them and their interactions would be very fascinating indeed!

However, I think you touched upon something that I think is both important and a bit different from how you put it: A main difference between Kal'tsit and Muelsyse is, in fact, that Kal'tsit does allow herself to trust in others, while Muelsyse keeps her cards close to her chest, even among those who she supposedly trusts.

Kal'tsit isn't naive, but she does in fact allow herself to trust others... A whole lot, in fact. She believed and trusted Theresa, and still tries to carry out her goals, she trusts in Amiya, not just because Theresa chose her, but because she really believes she's got what it takes. She trusts Rhodes Island Operators so much that, even though she's a powerhouse herself, she doesn't handle everything that Rhodes Island has going on and even has some Operators she implicitly trusts enough to let them handle some seriously dangerous stuff either under her or by being her extension in other endeavors she can't be there for personally, such as Margaret Nearl and Elysium. Reluctantly, she trusts in Doctor's abilities and temperament, in part out of necessity, in part because love it or hate it, Theresa did trust Doctor quite a lot, and so she'll trust in Theresa's trust.

Muelsyse, on the other hand? Her 'trust' is hugely utilitarian. Her choice of joining up with Rhine Lab was born out of necessity, as she judged that Kirsten and company would be her very best bet to achieve her own goals, but that backstabbing environment doesn't particularly allow one to make good friends or trust anyone too easily. In fact, during Mansfield Break, Muelsyse quite literally couldn't compute why Silence would be helping Anthony (Mountain) without ulterior motives: The fact that Silence would do it first and foremost out of the goodness of her heart was unbelievable to Muelsyse, because it goes against everything she's learned, especially in Rhine Lab. In a way, one could argue this is where she started changing a little, and it brought to mind how Saria was legitimately trying to be there for Ifrit because Saria legitimately holds affection for her, which Muelsyse thought was a load of barnacles before, at least without any sort of further objective or ulterior motive. Hell, Muelsyse's character song is a perfect fit for her: Chipper and energetic, yet, the lyrics are very sad and lonely.

I think a dynamic between Kal'tsit and Muelsyse would fundamentally be very... Curt, initially. All business from Kal'tsit's end, because Muelsyse has yet to earn her trust, all plastic smiles and idle hands from Muelsyse, because unless Kal'tsit can verifiably be of use to her beyond being a bigwig at RI, she doesn't need to know her.

But Kal'tsit grows on you, you know? Doctor's not the only one with those people skills... Perhaps they are at another level altogether, given they can handle even the freakiest freaks and weirdos and wrangle friendship out of them, but to say Kal'tsit isn't formidable in the arena of trust is but a lie. She'd get in, I'm sure. Muelsyse would see someone akin to her in ways other Terrans simply could never achieve, and while they are very different in terms of demeanor... Well, so are Kal'tsit and Closure, and Kal'tsit and Warfarin, two good friends of hers. Kal'tsit can definitely deal with Muelsyse's antics, and I think Muelsyse would enjoy seeing someone so similar to her in so many ways that can also allow herself to trust others. Maybe Kal'tsit could be important in just that: Muelsyse allowing herself to trust more.

[writing-in-verse]

So I Finally Read A Restless Truth by Freya Marske

I've been debating what to say about this book since I finished it late last week. Not because I didn't enjoy it - on the contrary, I loved it possibly more than the first - but rather because I have so much I could say.

A friend of mine recently mentioned, in a poorly-phrased statement out of context, that he didn't really know me. In context he's referring to how little I talk about myself, the self behind the ADHD masque and trauma and deflection.

It's hard to write a character that who's entirely public persona is a facade without making them seem either two dimensional or just two separate characters in one body. Sarah J. Maas is a great example of how to do this terribly with her main character of Throne of Glass, Celaena.

Anyone who knows me knows I have contempt for these books in a way I rarely do for any other. There's so much wrong with them but that's not the point, the point is Celaena is a terrible character who feels like a separate person depending on what the author needs her to be. She's either a snarky, sexy assassin who has no real moral compass or a fashion-loving, sexy princess who finds being an assassin horrifying. The two sides of her talk and act entirely differently with very little crossover to the point where they have different names by the latter half of the series.

Violet, and by extension Freya Marske, shows how someone who has a lot of ptsd tends to deal with their trauma. Of course, everyone is different and hiding behind a sharp wit and rebellious distraction isn't the healthy solution but it is relatable to me. Violet's background on the New York underground stage scene (a part of performance history I'm not well educated on so it was fun to see in historical fiction) gave her the knowledge needed to play a part, whatever part the audience expects of her without ever revealing who she truly is.

I'd be loathe to suggest Violet's public persona is fake as that's simply not true: my own outward way of being is still me even if I keep much of my life away from scrutiny. Violet is sharp and quick witted and rebellious but she uses her stage skills to leave people with a simplified impression, without any of her fears or anxieties mixed in. It's not inauthentic but rather safe and controlled. It's why everyone but Maud Blyth accepts what they're given.

What's more insightful is Violet's inability to see the way she is limiting herself out fear for survival. It isn't until Maud gives her the perspective to see the cage she has constructed for herself that she starts to realise the walls keep you in as much as they keep others out. Of course, Violet can see it on some level but that lack of true introspection is as much a trauma response as everything else. The walls are built around the most vulnerable parts as much to protect as to ignore the damage that's already been done.

I've never seen a character manage to portray the complex realities of living with trauma quite like Violet does, not in the immediate aftermath but in the long periods living with part of yourself you think need to be hidden lest they be taken advantage of or are seen as flaws which makes you less worthy of love rather than a tapestry of someone who deserves more love than was ever afforded.

Violet is fascinating from a character design perspective but she's also incredibly well written, she feels like a person who contains multitudes, who is not 'fixed' by the end of the book but she is willing to let Maud in little by little. Step by step.

Okay this was a long one, turns out I had a lot to say (and honestly still do (I haven't even gushed about Maud!!!)) but I hope you enjoyed reading it.

[hamofjustice]

I don't want to just painstakingly copypaste my triple-layered self-QRT thread about it on Twitter and any other ones floating around but

I am very emotionally invested in seeing Penny, Arven, and (personally) especially Nemona again in the Scarlet/Violet DLC, after GF followed up the best 3 hours of Pokemon game story ever by having to abruptly cut it off the second these lonely kids finish opening up to you and say you can hang out with them anytime. Which you never do. It was some pretty painful whiplash, and I was sure the main point of the DLC was to relieve that, especially when their arcs don't seem quite complete yet. Very clever, evil marketing! But uh... well... about that...

It is very worrying that aside from a little "the story so far" montage, they have not been seen or mentioned in promotional material/footage whatsoever. Y'know, DLC for the game that's about how the real treasure was the friends you found along the way (literally, in Nemona's case), and even if your family and support systems fail you, you still have each other? Written from the heart by someone who said Arven's story is inspired by their own life? With the sappy Ed Sheeran song about reaching out for connection with others, that also seems to be named after Team Star? The game where one of the features the devs seemed most proud of was going on adventures and into boss fights with 3 of your friends? The game that ended with a fully functional and quite immersive bonding adventure with these characters you'd gotten to know and care about, that basically everyone thought was the best part of the game by a mile, and were left wishing the whole game was like that?

Yeah, I (and everyone else) have been driving around alone in that game for 8 months ever since finishing that story. 8 months of minor updates with a ton of the beloved characters functionally or literally gone, while we go around doing online stuff with nothing else to do in the world, with a single player postgame more barren than we had on Game Boy Color (thank god for mints and bottle caps though). I'm left just... wanting to go back to the way things were before I beat the game. Not to be overly dramatic, but this world I supposedly saved feels like one I failed to save. And I'm getting really frustrated. (The framerate hasn't gotten any better, either, but this isn't about that.)

It's like Game Freak (or whoever forced this thing out a year early, or both) never expected you to boot the game up again once you got bored of the Ace Academy Tournament, which the game acts like is the entire total of what you could want from being friends and "rivals for life" with your squad (I mean I'm the sicko that loves Tera Raids, so I'm not that bored, but still). It makes a bunch of implications that your adventure is just beginning, and then it totally just... isn't. Why is the E4 building closed? Why do you only rematch the gyms once? And most of all, for me personally: Why did we get access to our friends' rooms if there's nothing to do or talk about there? (Besides look for character study clues, which they have lots of)

All they could come up with when asked to write a newsletter email about what you can still do in S/V and why you should still be playing it was Raids. That was it. Remember when you had an endless challenge in the Tower/Maison that you could optionally take on with a bunch of story characters as your partners instead of alone, that motivated you to keep getting stronger bit by bit? Remember rematching gym leaders multiple times and watching their teams grow and evolve each time? Yeah, there's none of that here, because that would take more than a week to implement. If you want friends and you want battles, you'll have to do it yourself online now. They're not allocating any budget for that.

Your rival for life, who's so excited you're on her level now, who seems to have the passion and skill to be the your Battle Tower gameplay loop by herself if she wanted to, who battles you for hours offscreen with multiple teams, whose whole character arc is that she finally has someone she can do this with... is fully static, with one kinda mediocre team that never grows or changes. She can't keep up with you and doesn't know what items or EVs are. You have to get lucky to even see her at all. She is no more your rival than your Home Ec teacher is (no offense Saguaro, you're cool too). I think it's really, really sad.

I'm left nostalgic and pining to go back, having to cope through fanfic because my character can't spend the day with - or even so much as take a new trainer card photo with - the girl who said they might be her greatest treasure, without resetting my save, because she and the others are standing somewhere that the camera and internet features are both disabled.

Like, legitimately, I want to keep being friends with these kids the way we were before, and have the ability to do post-game stuff with them, like being able to go out and adventure together whenever in some basic, non-story capacity, or just, I don't know, maybe give them more than one line of dialogue in their rooms? I don't want a new region or new characters. Not yet, anyway.

I thought I was preordering the continuation of their story and rewarding the company for making me care about Pokemon so much again.

But, uh... I'm really worried that the people who own these characters do not care. And as I said on the trailer's comments before they turned them off (lol), I'll be pissed enough to not buy any more games if I'm right, and we're forced to abandon these poor kids. At the very least, it's some pretty garbage marketing to leave the possibility of that up in the air. If nothing else, that is a frustration that I'm going to keep talking about for a while, even if it ends up being fine.

I thought it was impossible, and I was being silly. Why not have our friends in cute new outfits as promo art when the DLC was first announced, and all they had was promo art? Seems like an easy slam dunk. Oh, they didn't yet? Well, I'm sure it'll happen eventually.

And then they weren't in the trailer either, months later. Are they trying to sell us on it or not?

The whole reason I want the DLCs. Still not a single word acknowledging them, just that little opening montage. Still no hints of how the DLCs have anything to do with Area Zero's ongoing story, either. How is a sea turtle linked with a landlocked crater?

So like... At this point I have to assume both DLCs start with you making your friends cry as they're left alone again, arbitrarily excluded from events they're more than qualified to be invited to, to make room for some new dweebs we don't need, who won't be given nearly enough time to be as compelling as Nemona, Arven, and Penny were, because that makes the trailer look more like a new game, and that's the only way they know how to advertise. More. New. Buy. Consume. Throw away. Buy. Consume. Throw away. I should assume this so that whatever we get can't be worse.

But they're probably not (self-aware enough / allowed / both) to write that. Your lonely / orphaned / anime-binging friends might just cheer you on for getting to go do something cool like being forced to train a new legendary because the story said so, then go back to being statues with as much relevance to your life as an NPC in a third story apartment that tells you what a hold item is.

Can't I just live in Paldea with my friends, in the version of the game we would have gotten if it was finished, instead of being pulled into these adventures for the sake of looking good in a trailer? (which it doesn't btw lol) It's not an unrealistic thing to want when that's what it briefly was, and I was so excited that it would keep being that I've been thinking about it this entire time.

...

I hope I'm wrong about all this, and next year I can look back on this post, happy that the DLC did actually allow us to continue to take care of these characters, conclude Area Zero's mysteries in a satisfying way, fix up some technical issues, let us relive some things that are currently once-only (including letting us see that photo album our character made but we had to screenshot ourselves), and make it fun to keep playing for years afterward, and let that be the model for games going forward, but uh...

They really are not showing me anything I care about in the game I desperately want to care about, that I saw - and wanted to defend - the heart in, despite the circumstances it was produced under, and that really worries and frustrates me. The surprisingly many great things about this game got my hopes up for an awesome postgame full of warm fuzzy feelings and cool things to do 8 months ago that just didn't deliver, and now, I'm not sure if they'll even let me pay for one, at this rate, because they're not advertising one.

Just throw us a scrap. If whoever's in charge here stops caring about this story, I won't care about the next one.

Anyone else feeling this?

[inventors-fair]

Castaways: Cast Trigger Commentary

I'm honestly a little surprised at all the cards that we got this week, and I'm overall quite happy with the variety of the cards that I saw and the range of strategies employed. It was hard to choose winners and runners from this mix, and the commentary was quite thought-provoking. Overall, I'd say that with much of these cards, complexity had to be tempered in order to get the most powerful results.

Cast triggers are nuts. The ability to have an uncounterable effect (sort of) that uses the stack can lead to some strange encounters, and there are still some folks learning MTG that have difficulty understanding what it means to "cast" a spell. Lord knows that explaining it to my students can be quite strange, and they're used to things being played just by themselves. When does this happen? How can I respond? What are the best responses? And it's not just about the responses, but how the cards interact on board that shows their design chops. Lots of cards this week made me want to brew, and I love contests like these.

There are quite a few Judge Picks this week. These cards have specific aspects I want to highlight for some reason or other, so pay close attention. With this many contenders of this strength, choosing the top cards was incredibly difficult, as I'm sure you can imagine. Read on!

~

@aethernalstars — Ash-Cannon Goblin

I think my favorite part about this card is the flavor text. It doesn't grok perfectly, but it's playful and enjoyably goblinesque. As far the card idea, the idea is solid enough. What's bugging me is the fact that this is essentially kickerless kicker. The cost is an optional part of casting, and yet the trigger is also part of the casting. There would be no need for this kind of wording unless this started as a kicker idea and was shifted into a cast trigger, which it honestly doesn't need.

As an ETB effect, I would've liked this card a lot better. The cast trigger here isn't doing anything that an ETB couldn't or wouldn't do, if that makes sense. If you want to keep this design, I think that spending your graveyard to smack face/creature/planeswalker is totally fine; honestly, this could be a decent uncommon, because it's a single-use kind of card. Graveyards are great resources and limited resources. For this specific contest, examining the 'why' of cast triggers may have led to other considerations. At it stands, I still like this card and would suggest a couple wording revisions, perhaps. Also make sure that you avoid run-on sentences!

~

@brookeuwo — Spitefellows (JUDGE PICK)

You've got a Horizons-y mindset here, don't you? Bet you think you're clever? Well, you are, and I initially was going to be wishy-washy on this card for the name being a reference but that's what a good chunk of Horizons cards are sometimes. And you know what, I'm down for it. The trick is making the homage feel like an homage, and in that I think you succeeded. In terms of power, this card's also got a lot going for it. As much as I worry about the power of cast triggers, this card's got decent power going for it.

Most importantly, it's a blowout that's pretty much only a blowout in limited. It's a five-mana 2/2, which is...very bad comparatively, even if you get two of them. So essentially you're making two bodies, right, but then the evoke cost is where the blowout removal happens; I'd say that nine times out of ten you're just going to clear a board with this card, or at least make an incredible impact. You're clogging MODO with triggers, but I mean, high complexity is fine if it's warranted. I think that as a Lorwyn callback and a Horizons power-level card, this is pushing it but not so much that you'd have problems except at really high-skill levels. Phenomenally fun card and a great idea overall.

~

@cthulusaurusrex — Wavebringer (JUDGE PICK)

Attaching the cast trigger inside is an interesting move, and ultimately, I think it works quite well here! The lord-body is one of those ones that can go into any Elemental deck, but the callback to Master of Waves has not gone unnoticed. It's also interesting how you've made it so that this card wants more of a spellslinging deck whereas the Master wanted a permanents-matter deck. Could you run them both? Well, perhaps, if you managed to get them on board and then start slinging like nobody's business. What I'd want to do is play this card with Quasiduplicate effects and then really get things going.

What I'm trying to say in the end is that this kind of card is the kind that makes me want to play it and makes me understand why it exists. I don't know if it's necessarily breaking new ground, being a callback, but it's doing a number of things differently, and I think that if absolutely nothing else that this card is overwhelmingly good. The chops are there and the rationale is there and the play style—you guessed it, it's there. If I have any reservations, I suppose I'd like an inch of flavor text, but even then, is that necessary? Arguably, doesn't have to be there; the AD makes it pretty clear what the coming storm would be. So maybe all that good stuff is worth commending on its own, you know?

~

@curiooftheheart — Bellowing Boars (JUDGE PICK)

I really want to like this card's power level, because it's actually quite striking. A late-game ramp deck that can get eight or even twelve lands can absolutely run away with this card. On turn four, getting two 3/2s with trample and haste isn't anything to shake a stick at, and the ability on turn eight to get three of those AND have four mana left over, potentially, is fascinating. It makes one focused on the late-game potential of stompy decks, and that's pretty darn cool overall. The more I think about this card, the more I find the design tech actually really great for limited.

And I mean, I have to assume that all that thought went into this when you designed this card, because it's actually completely unique as far as I can tell from a cursory search. The only real grumbling I have is in the overwrought flavor text. Paring that down to maybe two lines would've suited the rest of this card's strengths well. Does it have a specific setting, something that Vivien observes that's fascinating for her? A lot of adjectives hamper down the writing here and I do wish I could be less of an expletive—but it's honestly really distracting. Look: this is ultimately a card design contest wherein presentation matters. This card is substantially well-made for the nature of this contest and everything else is a me problem. Where is this going? I swear I had a point what wasn't a half-assed pseudo-apology. Ah well. Damn boars, running through my consciousness.

~

@dabudder — Gracie, Substitute Teacher

This is definitely a commander-oriented card. I'm looking at its applications, and honestly, I'm not sure I'm convinced I see the upside? Drawing into cards would be nice, but the benefit of casting one spell into another feels a bit wonky. That said, there are mechanics like Escape that make the benefits fun, and with prowess you've got a bit of a nice beater sometimes. What's the shell that really wants this card, though? I can imagine that you could have fun with Suspend cards... Ooh, actually, imagine: turn 2-3, plot a couple cards, then turn 4 play Gracie and cast some stuff from exile. Trigger, cast Ancestral Vision/Profane Tutor, etc.

So it's not that I don't see the combo appeal! I think this card isn't a card for me specifically. Getting cards back from wherever you're casting them can be fun—command zone as well, considering you can get your commander to hand fairly easily. In limited, I think building around this card would be weird, and explaining that the initial spell getting cast wouldn't resolve is also weird, but hey, it's what it is. I feel that this card has strong "fun" application. Practically, this is a card for someone who's not me, in a format that's probably not a premier set. But who knows? As a side note, I think you also captured a lighthearted Strixhaven feel quite well. I substitute myself and lemme tell you, it's not half as magical...

~

@feyd-rautha-apologist — Demon of Final Moments

As a small note, I recommend in your art direction that you have the focus on the demon, because I totally was digging the focus on the mage until I actually saw what the card was. That said, damn effective work there. As for the card, you are looking at some weird weird weird stuff here. By "weird" I mean that this card is a combo piece whereupon you cast it and win the game. how so? Let us count the heckin' ways. Thassa's Oracle is the most obvious one, but Laboratory Maniac plus any draw effect is there, as is an Inexorable Tide with exiling extra turn effects like Karn's Temporal Sundering and the lot. Cast this spell and you win—there really isn't any other reason to play this card.

In limited, I wouldn't imagine that this card does much good if the removal in the set is worth its salt. Play it and bam, it's removed, you lose instantly. There are so many ways that you lose with this card, especially if it gets countered; it's fragile as all get-out. A design that either wins instantly or makes you lose just as fast is... Well, not exactly what I'd call good gameplay, I'll say that much. Additionally, if you cheat this card out, you have the situation where you can just play the game normally and encounter loops with said extra turn shenanigans (assuming proliferation of time counters). I'm afraid this one goes into the "busted" pile. Side note: I feel that the flavor text could have been one sentence with "his last" coming after a colon, but I'm down with the concept.

~

@fractured-infinity — Curse's End

Reading up on what the Curse of Wandering was/is on Amonkhet, I'm uncertain that this card is vibing with that flavor. The Curse is an aspect of the plane, and so is this card saying that the whole shebang is now over? What had caused it in the first place? If it predated Bolas, what's going on with the mystery? I feel that this card is saying that the Curse is an actual curse with a source and a way to end it, which... Eh, I don't feel the meshing, but regardless. the card itself is a great mythic with only a couple minor issues.

Firstly, there's the question of how this card would function if this contest didn't have a cast trigger. I would imagine that instead of a cast trigger, the better design would just be to exile all creatures and all creature cards from graveyards. While this does have the benefit of putting a bunch of ETB triggers on the stack, there are better ways to go about the exact execution. Besides, why not have a deck that uses this cast trigger then counters the actual spell itself? That kind of defeats the purpose of the card, I think, a little cheatsy-shenanigans that feels like a workaround rather than a function of the card itself. Maybe if there was an additional cost or caveat, I would buy it, but I'm not convinced at this iteration.

~

@greensunzenith — Swarm Vanguard

The short answer is that this card is funny, funky, and probably not that broken. As for whether or not it's common, that's a rough one. Cast triggers at common are...odd, too. The best one I can see is, oddly enough, Supernatural Rescue (as a rarity-to-complexity comparison). I think this should probably be an uncommon, because copies of permanent spells becoming tokens doesn't exactly grok as well as we'd think, especially when you consider that you're going to have many, MANY copies of this card in your deck. After a point, how easy/hard would it be to keep track of on paper? Probably easy if you used things that didn't resemble actual copies of the Vanguard, but whatever. At least it's a vanilla creature.

When you have an effect like this, one must ask: would this have been more easily grokable as an ETB trigger? Honestly, I think the answer is yes, and it's unfortunate with a design that tries to go for this amount of elegance at common. Entering and making an insect token for each card with the name Swarm Vanguard in your graveyard would've probably been fine and scalable without the casting complexity. Flavor's nice, though, and the concept is solid.

~

@i-am-the-one-who-wololoes — Zarderek, the Folkslinger

I am willing to meet you halfway on some of this. Having a spellslinging GW commander isn't exactly on-flavor, but they've had Magecraft across colors before. Technically, I don't think there's anything out-of-pie that excludes it. But you have to roll with me and agree that it feels a little off to have GW be the one for Magecrafting without naming it? You know what, I'll insert an honorary piece of trinket text in front of that trigger just for my own peace of mind.

As it stands the card would play pretty normally and would make limited decks pretty nasty. Having a protective backup spell to get more bodies and get more counters would allow for Zarderek to run away with games quite easily but not without too much power by itself. I think that it does just what the colors want to do and, without feeling too weird, is a reasonable card. I don't think you could've made it any other way; RW would've been the next-best choice, I believe. Perhaps the flavor could've spoken to the world on which we see this character, something about why GW has this kind of magical expansion? Looking pretty generic for the moment, captain.

~

@khyrberos — Atraxa's Command

This card probably functions exactly how it's intended to function. I think the possibility of having a card where the modes function in this manner is pretty cool and, depending on the life paid, would make for an interesting setup. It's reasonable to assume that swinging in would get you all that life back, too, but regardless: this card doesn't really function as a command, or at least not in the way that commands are meant to function. This card is essentially a one-off that feels like a one-off, a function of itself that has no bearing on the rest of a set. What environment would be able to play this card, or want to? What limited environment could spawn it? Honestly, what preconstructed environment would have it, either?

Commands function on their versatility, and this card has none—which is fine if it wasn't technically a command, kind of? Even then, it doesn't have the "command" feel, and turning all your creatures into Atraxa for free is... I'm not gonna say that it's not fun in concept, but for lack of a better term, this card feels like it was designed for itself without a greater reach in mind. Even a five-color command with an Obelisk of Alara feel could've done the job as a "Praetor's Command" with different modes. That said, playing with Phyrexian mana is playing with fire as-is.

~

@misterstingyjack — Facesnatcher Ghoul (JUDGE PICK)

I think this card is doing everything it needs to do, and it's doing it quite well. Exiling and/or returning creatures will turn it on, and those are the most common ways to interact with creatures in graveyards at lower rarities. I love the notion that you can drop an Emrakul and then instant-speed exile it to turn the Ghoul on, but that's not happening in limited; most likely, you'll have a couple moments where you'll cast return spells and you'll be doing just fine. This card is for sure a constructed card.

And again, constructed cards are fine, because we need cards of every rarity to make things work! When I look at submissions, the first thing I think is what would happen if I opened this out of a booster pack while drafting, or something to that effect. ... Maybe it's not the first thing, but it's one of the things I think about for sure. And this card would be quite fun to build around if you can make it work, but more likely than not it's going to be a pet card, and that's perfectly fine. Targeting cards in graveyards with spells is one of those very specific things that you can't repeat much. Honestly I think "cast a spell or activate an ability" would be better for gameplay. Did you think about that and relegate it to casting because of the contest? If so, I get it, and if not, I honestly think that that would've been acceptable, just because the card itself is so tightly designed.

~

@nine-effing-hells — Panoptic Predator (JUDGE PICK)

Was this an intentional callback to Hydroid Krasis? I mean, I can imagine so, because it's got similar-ish casting capabilities, but the bodies that it can make are really nasty. I think getting a bunch of fliers can be extremely rough for limited, but it is a mythic, and getting bodies isn't the worst thing in the world. Drawing cards as well is a nasty little thing. The whole notion of perfection and eyes feels like it fits well, and ultimately the question of whether the cast trigger is necessary is pretty reasonable, because, well, it wouldn't be very strong otherwise. Five mana for, say, two 1/1 fliers and a 3/3 on the ground? Yeah, mythic-worthy, and upping that cost if pretty strong itself!

What I like about this card is the fact that it doesn't get continuously stronger. Once you cast it, that's it. There's no flickering shenanigans, there's no proliferation or +1/+1 synergy—what you see is what you get. The self-balancing aspect means that the really horrible part of going against this card is the draw power that you get after being pinged in the air a lot. But, they are only 1/1s, and those little eyes squish pretty easily. Honestly, I thought that this thing itself had flying, and the fact that it doesn't makes me feel better. Overall I'm a fan! We need more eyes in the world. The flavor of Phyrexia being gross and all-encompassing checks out too.

~

@real-aspen-hours — Tachyon Blast (JUDGE PICK)

This is a weird little idea and I have to commend it for how strange the interactions must be. I think that it has to be appropriately costed with that cast trigger, because the uncounterable Shock ain't worth nothing. What a strange little card! I feel that, in a limited game, this would be a pretty worthwhile removal spell, but the cost is somewhat prohibitive. Comparing it to cards like Trick Shot, I feel that this could've been a four-mana Instant spell that did double Shocks instead.

Well, even then, "double Shock" is a bit of a misnomer. Triggering and then shocking is pretty strange; targets being chosen on cast plus a trigger that also targets would mean that there would be a lot of rough interactions when it came to protecting and hexproof-ing. But hell, now you can take out that two-toughness Goyf without worrying about too much, right? There's a lot of thought that went into making this spell as simple as possible, and I appreciate that. The flavor is pretty neat as well, and checks out with how the Izzet work. Honestly, the flavor feels so on-point that it's almost hard to comment on, and that's a good thing. You've blended it in to the world quite well.

~

@reaperfromtheabyss — Phyrexian Glutton (JUDGE PICK)

How much consideration was given to Phyrexian Ingester when it came to this card? That said, I actually see where you wanted to make this one distinguished. I feel that you should have actually blended the first and second abilities into one paragraph. Looking into similar effects, I think someone's first notion would've been to have this be an "As ~ enters the battlefield" effect, and yet, I can see why that would've been the wrong choice with flicker effects. Man, this is a tricky one! You mitigated a lot of the ways in which this card could've been broken. One other thing I like about it is that it's not an optional ability, so you'd have to exile one of your own creatures and/or planeswalkers if there were no other options.

As a control card, or even a midrange anti-control card, I like it a lot. The way that it's both a removal spell and a finisher is pretty strong without being overwhelmingly annoying. It enters without the ability to Shock it, which is nasty as well. And yet, on-board, it's not the hardest to chump. It sure as hell ain't the easiest, but it's designed to be difficult without being impossible to deal with. Certainly a contender, and I'm a fan! What's with folks and designing Phyrexians this week? I'm not complaining, but hey, it's something curious to note.

~

@ship-of-skitties — Machi Avel, Master Planner

When we have references in real life, I think Magic's rule of thumb is to have a pseudonym of some kind instead of... Well, "parody" is the best name for it, but this card feels like an homage way more than that. I'm not the biggest fan of the name, but you have the plot and you've not lost it, that's for sure! This card's a strange one but you have all the pieces. Plotting plus the trigger is obvious but you can also cast cards with impulse draws and t works like the Aftermath Pia Nalaar, which checks out! I love the "this turn" on the middle ability; I originally felt that you could've put the two together, but actually, the third ability works with cards that just have plot naturally, so I get why you separated them.

Man, ultimately this card is just a crazy engine, and I respect it. Plotting forces a long game when you consider that you can't plot and cast cards in the same turn. I want to point out that the flavor text is a little squished in there and that "nonland" is one word, but besides those two things and the name, you've made a pretty gnarly card and I respect it immensely. Plotting has proven to be really fun for gameplay and this card's doing it quite well. Yeah, little to no notes otherwise! Good job.

~

@sombramainexe — The First Stone

Don't forget that when you submit a card via text or via an editor that doesn't have a specific rarity indicator, you need to note a card's rarity. I wouldn't worry about that for the moment, though, because we should talk about this card first. I know where the name is coming from, and yes, the concept of casting the first stone and all that is theoretically funny. Functionally, this card's pretty middling, because in an interactive game you can have only one that you'll maybe use assuming you've not interacted beforehand, or it will literally be a dead draw. A single removal spell that only works if you haven't performed a set-specific game action just isn't the kind of card that stands up to scrutiny.

That's not to say that we don't appreciate seeing funny cards here from time to time, and I do assume that to some degree this card was supposed to be humorous. (BTW, for everyone else reading that doesn't understand the joke, it's based off John 8:7, a Biblical reference that's entered the common lexicon). With that said a degree of functionality is still preferred to go along with it. This card is probably narrower than you might think at first glance.

~

@stupidstupidratcreatures — Biogenesis

There are quite a few options on this card. I think that the fact that you have to choose between counters and life is pretty bunk, and I actually thought before rereading that you would get both counters and life. If the second part of the card was "You gain 1 life and draw a card. Put a +1/+1 counter on up to one target creature you control." would've been just fine to me. There are plenty of effects like this in green and there's no shame in pushing it just a little bit.

Is this a cast trigger, though? I suppose in a roundabout way it is, so I'll let it skirt the contest a little bit, but this is very technically a trigger on the sacrifice rather than the actual cast. At the same time, it's important to make that distinction because it shows the complexity of a card's internals. The trigger wouldn't be possible without the cast, so there's all that, but no matter, the card's perfectly reasonable as is. I think the generic name/implied flavor isn't pushing me into any particular direction, but I'll commend this card regardless for being more in the realm of Plumb the Forbidden rather than the other green cards in the Greater Good variety that we see riffs on.

~

@tanknspank — Kami of Impending Victory (JUDGE PICK)

So this would trigger off itself, right? Six power for six mana is a good start. I like the idea that you can ramp up to a couple more bodies just by itself, and a six-mana 4/4 in white is still pretty good. I know in your notes you mentioned storm and stormlike capabilities, and honestly, I wouldn't worry about that. The ability to look at other cast spells and to make something based on those spells is reasonable for the trigger without being too powerful. What's there to say otherwise? I dunno, this card feels just plain great in limited and decent-ish in commander; bodies are bodies, no matter the format.

Victory, well—that's an odd one, but I suppose the flavor is justified if something terrible happens, and lemme just check the wiki real quick... Oh wow. I actually had no idea that that happened in the story. WELL then. I guess that places the timeline now, doesn't it. Yeah, this card checks out on all fronts. White doesn't usually get the storm capabilities, but ramping up to a multi-spell turn would be pretty fun, and even then you get to play some fun tide-turning power on turn six regardless. Overall, it's solid! It's not breaking any new ground but it's doing all the work that it wants to do fairly and firmly. I do like the fact that it'll get you a Samurai even if it gets countered. Feels important for some reason.

~

Whew. Well, that's all set and settled. Thank you for all your entries, and see y'all next week. @abelzumi

[akihabaradivision]

Keiko's Thoughts on Obihiro Division

Hisoka Tetsumasu

"Although I know I shouldn't, I actually like Hisoka-san. His transition from a life of crime to caring for horses is quite the tale of transformation. It’s heartwarming to see someone find solace in the company of such majestic creatures, and it speaks to a gentler side that one wouldn’t expect from his past. As someone who believes in the power of change and the potential within each person, I want to believe that Hisoka-san's current path is one of genuine redemption. Yet, as a member of Chuohku, I can't fully separate the man before me from the shadow of his history with illegal Hypnosis Microphones. His actions have caused ripples throughout Japan, challenging the peace and order we strive to maintain."

"The question of Hisoka-san's true intentions lingers in my mind. While I admire his dedication to his new life, my responsibilities to Chuohku and the safety of our citizens mean that I must approach him with caution. It's a delicate balance, recognizing the possibility of personal growth while also acknowledging the lasting impact of one’s past deeds. Hisoka-san's continued actions and choices will be the ultimate measure of his character, and I will be watching with a hopeful yet vigilant eye."

Daiki Kamiyama

"Daiki-kun's fascination with superheroes is quite charming, isn't it? As a manga artist, I can't help but be drawn to his idealism and the purity of his intentions. He reminds me a lot of the characters in anime who are hopelessly optimistic! His efforts to embody the virtues of the heroes he admires could be a wonderful inspiration for a character in my manga. I think readers would resonate with someone who strives to make the world a better place, no matter how small their actions might seem."

"However, there's a part of me that also worries about Daiki-kun. His black-and-white view of the world is endearing, but also a little naive. As much as we wish it were, life isn't some comic book where the heroes always win and the villains always lose. I hope he realizes that true heroism is a lot more complex than he thinks and often goes unnoticed. Most heroes these days don't wear a cape, unfortunately."

Jack Verrill

"Jack-san's dedication to his duties as a butler is quite admirable. It’s clear he takes his responsibilities seriously, especially when it comes to looking after Daiki-kun. There's a certain respectability in the way he conducts himself, ensuring that Daiki-kun stays out of trouble. I can appreciate the effort he puts into guiding and protecting his charge. I can tell it's not an easy task, considering Daiki-kun's adventurous spirit, but Jack-san seems to manage it with a level of composure that’s commendable."

"However, I must admit, there's a part of me that's cautious about Jack-san. His extensive knowledge about Chuohku and the intricacies of our operations raises some questions. It's unusual for a butler, even one as evidently skilled as he is, to possess such information. While I have no concrete reason to doubt his intentions, his insight into Chuohku's affairs does make me wonder about his past and his connections. It's a reminder that we must always be mindful of who we trust, especially when it comes to matters of security and governance. I'll be keeping a watchful eye on him, just as he does with Daiki-kun."

Veiled Vanguard

"Veiled Vanguard is an intriguing team, to say the least. Their leader, Hisoka-san, has a checkered past that can't be ignored, and the other members, Daiki-kun and Jack-san, each bring their own unique backgrounds to the table. It's a diverse group, and their intentions, as well as their capabilities, are something I'm keeping a close eye on. Trust isn't given freely, especially when the safety and stability of Chuohku could be at stake. While I don't believe they pose a direct threat, their actions and their influence within the D.R.B. could have unforeseen consequences."

"As a member of Chuohku, I must consider all possibilities. Veiled Vanguard's emergence and their rapid rise in the ranks of the rap battle scene is something we didn’t anticipate. It’s my responsibility to ensure that their participation doesn’t disrupt the delicate balance we’ve worked so hard to maintain. I’ll be monitoring their progress closely, ready to act if necessary. For now, they have my cautious attention, but not my trust."

[tommykinard6]

So, actually my AO3 is V88SY, and I also have a Tumblr with that name, but since it's a side blog, I can't ask anything from that one. Lol.

I actually started very heavily in a fandom where fic isn't really a big part of things, and compared to 9-1-1, there's only less than 300 fics TOTAL for my particular little 'team' (I guess you could say.)

I used to just stick to that, but since 7×4 my brain will absolutely NOT leave me alone and I've posted about 10 fics for 9-1-1 with a few more rotting away in my brain. Ugh. Just the ideas that are sitting there, but they're definitely above my skill level. Lol.

Anyhoo, anyone else seriously missing some Buck and his hot boyfriend from this week's episode? Because I sure know I did!

I’ve been in fandoms similar to that, as well as started fanfiction for a couple. It’s quite an experience honestly, especially switching to a big fandom like 9-1-1! Definitely relate to the feelings about skill level, but I encourage trying anyhow!

I miss them 😭 Tevan where have you beeeeennnnnnn

[jayahult]

A Brief Announcement About Heresiarch

When I started Heresiarch several years ago, it was my baby. It was maybe the best idea for a story I had yet, and I quite enjoyed writing it and people liked it. Unfortunately and fortunately, the former two points are no longer true. I think the real point of decline was when I got COVID a bit over a year ago. I experienced severe aftereffects from it, not enough to be what is called "long COVID," but long enough to severely affect both my ability to write in my off-time and my abilities in academics. I also had to transfer colleges during that time, so there was very little time for my hobby horse.

What this resulted in was a downward spiral. I slipped further and further in my schedule, and felt more and more ashamed that I was unable to keep up with the demands of something that I felt so passionate about. Furthermore, on rereading to keep myself from losing the plot, I kept noticing flaws in the story - places where I was overly cute with the dialogue, or left plot threads hanging without much meaning, things that wouldn't be woven back together because plans changed and because I was trying to meet the deadline more consistently than keeping things coherent. And the worst part was and is that I still quite love Heresiarch. It is still my baby. I love the characters, I love the setting, I love that it landed the way I wanted with audiences by and large. But in order to fix those flaws, major re-writes would be required, from the bottom up. Compounding this is a major issue with site infrastructure - I've never been the most technical person, but I felt like I could handle WordPress, until suddenly I was attacked by a level of anxiety and annoyance that was kind of unprecedented when I tried to improve my workflow and make it easier to get a chapter out.

When it's all taken together, I think it's best that I put Heresiarch on an official and indefinite hiatus. I do intend to finish it, in some form or another - I want very much to put Ana and Edam's story to a proper end - but it's not a story for me right now. To all those who were hoping for a swifter conclusion, I hope I have not disappointed you too much. This also isn't the end of writing for me. It probably isn't even the end of web serial writing for me - I've been seriously considering just starting a different story while Heresiarch is on the backburner and I hone my skill further, and I've actually been drafting a novel for traditional publishing, so you can keep an eye out for those. I would also like to thank you all for your support. Your kind words about Heresiarch mean all the world to me. Before I was publishing Heresiarch I was deeply afraid that I was not a competent writer, not able to resonate or reach other people with my art because of how idiosyncratic it could be at times. Seeing otherwise has helped me immensely as a writer.

Thank you all again. Keep tuned for more news. Remember - this isn't an ending, just a pause to let something new grow.

[benefactordreams]

—-FRIXOS VOICELINES . ★

. First meeting: “You're the Trailblazer, aren't you.. well, I can't promise I'll like you like everyone else does.”

. Greeting: “You again? sigh Fine, fine, talk with me if you must, but I don't know why you'd want to converse with me at all. I don't give very fruitful answers like people want.”

. Parting: “How do people part ways, I'm curious.. they just say goodbye? Well then, I guess.. goodbye, for now, Trailblazer.”

. About Self: Gems: “The gems in my side? I'm not sure about them myself, but they seem to be my heart.. I don't have the typical human body, if you couldn't tell. Now the gems around my horn.. I have no guess about them. Maybe they're just a piece of me that happens to be outside.”

. About Self: Storytelling: “My stories.. people love them for some reason, but to me, they're somewhat.. prophetic, weird.. the stories kind of just come to me as I do my things, I tell them, they come true, and while they're all usually minor things, bad or good, the one I haven't told.. it scares even me.”

. About Self: Body: “My body is unusually cold and hard, I suspect all I have is even more gems inside me instead of any vital organs. I don't need to breathe, but it's slightly hard to move in certain ways at times.. it's quite annoying more than it is convenient, if it would be at all. I can't even feel things, let alone taste anything. My smell and hearing isn't great either.. I'm not even sure how I function at all.”

. Chat: Travels : “The universe is an interesting place to be a part of, I wish I could go to see the entirety of it, but I fear I'll never be able to despite my seemingly endless life ahead of me.”

. Hobbies: “I don't have many other hobbies other than story telling, but I do like walking around Amphoreus and looking at the flowers and their meaning, as well as animals. They're all exceptionally pretty as well as fascinating to watch.”

. Annoyances: “I don't mind the kids and people, but when they try to touch my gems or horns.. do they not know personal space?”

. Something to Share: “Be aware of people and they're intentions, and either swiftly rid of them from your life, or swiftly deal with the situation head on.”

. Knowledge: “Everything has it's meaning, big or small, and has a reason for being there in the moment where it is. I hope you're presence here has a meaning, Trailblazer.”

. About Callimene: “They managed to somehow become a ‘friend’ of mine.. why they would want to be? Not sure. I can usually tell what's going on with them and what they're thinking but.. I definitely don't know everything.”

. About Aglaea: ”Aglaea.. I don't know her personally, but my outfit was weaved by her, and I can say I.. admire her handiwork.”

. Eidolon Activation: “Helping me get stronger? You really are an oddity..”

. Character Ascension: “Only a step closer to my full potential.”

. Max Level Reached: “I'm at my full potential now it seems.”

. Trace Activation: “A new skill learned, I will make use of it.”

. Added to Team With Callimene: “Like usual, I will assist you in battle. Just.. don't mess around, please.”

. Added to Team With Aglaea: “Miss Aglaea, may this battle end swiftly with us as the victors.”

—-COMBAT VOICELINES . ★

. Battle Begins: Weakness Break: “Found your weakness.”

. Battle Begins: Danger Alert: “Hm, seems dangerous.. stay vigilant.”

. Turn Begins: “What now?”

. Turns Idling: “Using as little time as quickly as possible is important, hurry it up.”

. Basic Attack: Frixos does not feature any Basic ATK Voice-Overs.

. Enhanced Basic Attack: Frixos does not feature any Enhanced Basic ATK Voice-Overs.

. Skill: “Take my protection for a quick moment of respite.” (1) “I can't protect your for forever, recover quickly.” (2)

. Hit by Light Attack: “Careful of the gems now.”

. Hit by Heavy Attack: “Just a small chip..”

. Enemy Target Found: “Get behind me, I'll shield you for the moment.”

. Returning to Town: “Well, it certainly is nice to take a break.”

▉ keep in mind, things will change overtime due to Amphoreus not being out yet, and Frixos still heavily under development. (@aureusveill)

⌞ ★ — © benefactordreams || I'd appreciate if you didn't claim my ocs as your own and not repost my stuff anywhere else, ty — ✦ ⌝

[sleepyricee]

Fic Writer Review

Thanks for the tag @reviiely !! I'm a small (semishira) fic writer but very proud to be part of the community so I'll give this a shot.

How many works do you have on AO3?

I've written a grand total of 13 (all SemiShira heh). My writing inspiration comes in spontaneous bursts.

Your top 5 stories by kudos/likes?

1) A Sleepy Shirabu - 127

I'm glad that this one is at the top, since it's one of my favourites. It also promotes my username in a way, since I'm a sleepy person. I relate to this fic in my SOUL. Whenever I reread it, it takes me back to surviving on one hour of sleep. It felt like a daze but also sparked my creativity levels so yay.

2) Coffee and Chaos - 82

My second fic ever ayyyy. I actually wrote this down before typing it up. It didn't turn out as planned, but was still entertaining and I absolutely adore coffee shop AUs so I'm glad this one is getting noticed.

3) Pucker Up - 76

My first attempt at a 3+1 fic. Also one of my first attempts at writing kiss scenes. I found it quite cute so I'm glad other readers do too.

4) Trustfall - 67

This is a silly little fic that popped up in my mind and I loved it instantly. It's pretty short but was very fun to write and reread. I'm tempted to start a series where the Shiratorizawa Volleyball Team just do random challenges to improve their teamwork skills.

5) Brownies with you - 67

I haven't baked brownies in a painfully long time, but I thought of this when my sister mentioned how one of her classmates was always baking brownies. My first thought was "wow, it'd be amazing to room with her" and my second was "wait, this could happen in the Shiratorizawa kitchen" and thus this fic was born.

Do you respond to comments? Why/why not?

YESSS I LOVE COMMENTS!! I'm just terribly late with my responses but I'll always reply to them <33

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

I'd say "Still missing you" but I haven't really written many angsty fics. Angst isn't my forte and I'm such a sucker for fluff.

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

Possibly "Under the shade, by the lake" but most of my fics have fluffy endings. I just like this one the most :)

Do you write crossovers?

Nope but I'd love to try writing a Haikyu ship in a Harry Potter au. I've seen a couple and am so in love with how people have written them. I'd highly recommend "Of polaroids and peanut butter cookies" (semishira being so so cute in Hogwarts)

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Nope. Everyone is honestly so sweet, lovely, and supportive.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

No. I'm into writing wholesome stories with witty banter and chaos.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I hope not lol. If I have, then I'm completely clueless about it.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

No but I feel like that'd be pretty interesting. I'd love to hear different linguists pronounce the characters' names.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No. Currently, I feel like I'm better as a solo writer. Maybe in the future, I'll try co-writing out.

What's your all-time favourite ship?

SEMISHIRA ACKSDN MY OTP (if that wasn't obvious) I thrive off their bickering and their dynamic is so fun to write.

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

Definitely "His Feathered Dreams" which I started approximately one or two months ago and still haven't completed.

What are your writing strengths?

Fluff. So much fluff. Featuring Shirabu being sleepy/overworking himself.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Dialogue without a doubt. I struggled with dialogue when I started out, but I can see some improvement. It's pretty difficult for me to keep everyone in character, but writing conversations is honestly really fun.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

That'd be pretty fun. I can imagine Oikawa or Hinata slipping into Spanish on occasion, or Lev and Yaku speaking Russian. I don't know Russian but I know bits of Spanish so I could try experimenting.

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

This question feels crafted specifically for Ushiten. I love their unconventional pairing so much!! In fact, I'm planning a Christmas themed fic for these two and I'm looking forward to the results (I'll try to keep them as cannon as possible lol)

What's your favourite fic you've written?

Either "A Sleepy Shirabu", "Under the shade, by the lake" or "Hypocritical Oath". I honestly love these so much. I think I was in the zone while writing them, and all of these are pretty wholesome (or at least have a wholesome ending).

All of the people I would've tagged have already been tagged, so I'll end my lil review here. Thanks for reading till the end <333

[amethysttribble]

Yeah, no, what would have helped Feanor most is an unstructured group of supportive friends with similar ages and interests and there isn't exactly evidence that he didn't get that but also he's: 1) The firstborn son of the king 2) A prodigy in like every craft ever (basically maxed out the skills the Noldor value most) 3) His mother died from giving birth to him ("Valinor was supposed to be safe from tragedy, we aren't supposed to be losing people anymore") ("look at him, is it no wonder Miriel couldn't handle bearing his fea")

So between those things I think there's not that many people who could form a proper friendship with him on level ground. Maybe a handful, maybe just Nerdanel, and I think it took him a while to even make those friends because who he was as a person had to overshadow who he was as a point in space first.

So umm, I guess what I'm saying is that Feanor needs besties to have sleepovers and go to performances and just fuck around with, not therapy.

I get where you’re coming from, anon, these are lovely thoughts.

That being said, and this is just personal headcanon, but I tend to think Feanor was a very social person and had quite a lot of friends! I think he was very well-liked by most people, charming and confident and affable. Especially once we went to study with Mahtan, but even younger. This is just my pet peeve, but I don’t like the common trope that ‘royalty is so isolating no one likes me, I’m being looked down upon and bullied’, because it’s just… not how things work, lol.

I also think Feanor was loathe to be alone.

This is just another personal feeling, but I don’t think there was any fixing that particular family’s issues nor that of the characters therein; it’s a very well constructed tragedy on Tolkien’s part, in that regard.