#part of it i did need a palette cleanser in between and that is on me. but like come on

[dragoncharming]

it is truly agonizing to go from a show where the characters are so so adept at politics to so so bad

[fallowhearth]

Book Review - Foundryside by Robert Jackson Bennett

A fun but undemanding heist novel which ended up being the right kind of palette cleanser following my recent reading. I found the first third to be a bit underwhelming, as I wasn't really gelling with the character voices, but it picked up significantly through the middle and stuck the landing.

The setting is quite interesting, and is one of the rare cases where magic is taken seriously as both a technology and as part of an economic model. While it wasn't the main focus of the story, I enjoyed the moments where scientific advances proceeded from a need to solve technical problems in magical item development. It takes place in the metropole of an explicitly colonialist society whose economics rely on the exploitation of subjugated people/lands. All of this was portrayed fairly accurately in my opinion, even if the narrative did not dive particularly deep. You get the impression well thought out, coherent worldbuilding, even if it is only being lightly surfaced.

The cast of characters were perfectly likeable but unfortunately landed a little flat to me. The main character, Sancia, had the misfortune to fall into an archetype that I'm personally a little tired of. Emotionally-repressed highly-competent hard-done-by teenage lesbian thief. It sounds niche but it's surprisingly common. Though to the book's credit, the budding romance between Sancia and her prospective love interest was refreshingly forthright. There was blushing but blessedly little. And they moved past that with clear communication. So small mercies. It's not the kind of story shape to call for deep nuanced characterisation, so the cast do their job.

This might be another personal issue, as I've read a lot of this kind of story, but I did find the reveals and twists to be a little delayed - I'd worked them all out well in advance of the characters, both on an overall plot and scene-to-scene level. I wonder if other readers experienced the same, or if it was just right for a younger/newer audience.

Overall, would recommend, as long as you're going in with calibrated expectations. I definitely don't regret reading this and will pick up the sequels.

[bluefuckboy]

vampire!Dabi x m!reader

A/N: not enough Dabi x m!reader out there so here’s a contribution with a twist. Reader works at a bloodmobile donation center and receives a late night visitor...

WARNINGS: blood (obviously), non con elements, body horror, very brief references to homophobic slang, implied virgin reader, implied death,

Word Count: 4,276

“Thanks again man!”

“Yeah no problem.”

Except it was a problem. Or rather more of an annoyance, even if you were on the end shift anyway. Protocol was two people for transport back to the hospital, but your coworker was very adamant that if he didn’t get to his girlfriend’s right at 9pm then they were over. You’d neglected to ask how he “forgot.”

You were more than capable of managing the bloodmobile by yourself. It was just a little lonely since the drive back to the hospital was close to an hour. Not to mention the time it took to double check donation storage before you could even head back.

You were midway through the A- donations when you heard a knock at the door. It had been at least twenty minutes since your coworker left. It was past 9pm now and everyone at the donation event had left around seven, so you were slightly wary to go to the door.

Upon peering through the window on the door you saw nothing initially. Just the parking lot illuminated dimly. There were shadows from the trees that made strange shapes on some of the parking spaces. It made you slightly anxious, so you turned to go back to the donations when another rap sounded on the door.

This time there was a man in front of the door. He was tall and lanky, his messy black hair was tousled by the slight breeze. A cigarette was perched between long, pale fingers with black nails and what looked like tattoos that came up to the wrist. His other hand was tucked into the pocket of a trench coat, black of course, which almost reached the heavy duty combat boots he was scuffing impatiently on the pavement.

He tapped on the glass of the door with a knuckle, but didn’t look up, opting to take another drag of the cigarette while casting a bored look in the direction of a streetlight.

Your hand hovered over the door handle. You knew opening the door was probably a terrible idea, but for some reason this guy had piqued your interest. You were curious to find out what the heck he was doing in front of a mobile blood donation center at this hour of the night looking like the long lost member of My Chemical Romance.

You slowly unlocked the door to the bus and opened it a crack. The man turned around and looked up at you. His face was pale, and eerie. There were multiple piercings studded across his cheeks, and up to his ears. The lower half of his jaw was heavily tattooed, the ink winding down to his neck and disappearing below the collar of his shirt.

You cleared your throat.

“Can I help you?”

“I dunno, can you?”

The question was mocking and he ended it with a toothless smile. His tone irked you and you informed him that you were done taking donations.

His brow lowered and he mused, “Donations? I thought this was a late night food truck. I even brought my crazy straw.”

He produced an impossibly twisted black straw from the trenchcoat, holding it up for you to see. You stared at it as you tried to come up with a response.

“Sir, this is a mobile blood donation center, not a food truck.”

The man tutted his tongue and peered past you slightly. You moved to block his view of the inside of the bus. He pursed his lips and crossed his arms, taking another long drag of the cigarette and blowing the smoke a little too close to your face for it to be a mistake.

When he spoke it was almost to himself, mumbling, “I don’t know why I even bother to make conversation.” He chuckled. “And what a waste of a clever joke.”

He laughed again and then sighed, letting the cigarette dangle loosely between his fingers. You were thoroughly confused now. Your confusion turned to disgust and slight horror as he brought the cigarette back to his lips. Instead of taking another puff, he drove the still lit butt into the center of his tongue, putting it out without even batting an eye.

You gaped at him, speechlessly watching as he tossed the butt aside. He was unfazed, despite the fact that he had surely just severely burned his tongue. He was merely stretching now, as though he were getting ready for a workout.

After coming back up from a deep toe touch he quipped, “Nothing like a nice palette cleanser, hmm?”

You blinked at him, and then suddenly he was making his way up the steps casually. You put out an arm.

“Excuse me, sir, I can’t let you in.”

The statement made him laugh.

“Letting me in. How 18th Century. You’re cute.”

He made to come into the bus. You tried to stop him, but suddenly found yourself unable to move. It was like the muscles in you body were cramping all at once.

The man easily slipped past you and there was a strange sense of foreboding building as you tried to move again. Pain shot through your legs and you grit your teeth. You were able to move your eyes and found yourself staring into the face of the man as he stood in front of you.

Up close you could see the dark circles under his eyes, heavy bags that accentuated his gaunt features. His eyes were unsettling, cerulean and dangerous. You couldn’t bring yourself to look away. As you stared at them they seemed to flicker between a darker color momentarily, but it could have been a trick of the terrible lighting within the bus.

You watched as the man shut the door behind him and strolled slowly through the bus. He had his hands clasped behind his back, casually peering at the equipment as though he were looking through a library.

Upon finding the open intake box you had been sifting through, his eyebrows went up and a smile crept across his face. He knelt down in front of it and picked up an A- donation packet. He tucked it under his arm and then shuffled through the other packets as though he were looking through a collection of vinyl records.

“Any AB-?”

The question was directed at you and you were suddenly able to move your tongue again, which had felt like it was stuck to the roof of your mouth.

You tried to keep my voice steady as you said, “Sir I need you to put that down and please leave.”

He looked over at you with an amused expression, then turned back to the donations.

“I’ll take that as a no then. At least you’ve got a couple O-‘s. Always a safe bet, if a little bland.”

He sighed and then did something which would have made your jaw drop if you could have. He stabbed the crazy straw into the bag and then took a long sip of the blood. He swallowed, smacking his lips.

“Decent enough I suppose.”

He took another sip and emptied the bag, tossing it aside before moving on to the one he had tucked under his arm. All you could do was stand motionless and watch as he picked out a few more bags and sat casually on one of the donation chairs.

He propped his boots up on the chair and leaned back, sipping form a bag of B+ plus. You could feel sweat dripping down your back. Your muscles were painfully tense and you could feel fatigue setting in, but you couldn’t relax.

You tried in vain again to move and the man’s unusual eyes flicked up to you. He wiped a bit of blood clinging to his lip and sucked his thumb into his mouth. It was overtly obscene and clearly done to annoy you as he knew what he was doing was not only illegal but downright disgusting.

You could feel your legs starting to shake and were worried they might go out and send you flat on your face. Instead, you found yourself suddenly released from whatever strange force had been holding you hostage.

It was so sudden you just fell to the ground in a heap. The man laughed.

“How graceful.”

Despite the feeling of utter exhaustion that was washing over you, you were somehow able to get up and spin around to face the man. You were a bit larger than him and you needed to get him restrained before making a call to the authorities and figuring out what inventory he had decided to drink.

You moved to grab a strap from the chair he was in, quickly buckling it over the wrist that was by his side. His eyebrows went up, but he didn’t make a move to try and fight as you put the straps at the bottom of the chair over his feet so he was bound by all but the hand that held the bag he was still sipping from.

He swallowed and said, “Do I need to give you may safeword?”

Before you could snap back at him for the sexual comment, he lifted the bound arm up. The restraint broke like a piece of dental floss, snapping in half. The restraints on his feet were broken just as easily and you backed away slightly as he swung his legs over the chair and stood up.

He inspected his wrist, even though there were clearly no marks on the tattooed skin. The bag he had was tossed aside and he looked at you.

“I don’t usually prefer to play with my food, but I suppose if you want to have a little fun we could. I prefer fresh anyway.”

Before you had time to react he was grabbing you by your lab coat, swinging you onto the chair as though you weighed nothing. He practically threw you onto it and you felt you head hit the wall of the bus behind it.

“Whoops,” the man said, cracking a smile.

Your own blood went cold as he parted his lips for this smile. His canines were abnormally long, pressing into the soft flesh of his bottom lip. As you looked into his eyes, you saw they had a reddish tint to them, almost staining the blue, glinting as he leaned closer to you.

Your mind went to the tales of blood sucking monsters you’d heard growing up. But those were just stories and fairytales. This had to be some psychopath or sexual deviant who got off on a kink that had to do with bodily fluids.

The man was inches from you face and you found yourself unable to move again. You were stuck sitting in the chair sideways, your legs dangling over the edge. Your heart was racing, making blood pound in your ears.

You felt a chill run down your spine as the man leaned forward. His breath against your skin as he spoke was almost unnaturally hot.

“Sounds like a marching band, doesn’t it?”

Somehow you knew he was referring to the pounding of your blood in your ears. You felt something wet on your neck and the marching band was a cacophony of sound. His tongue was right at your pulse point.

His voice was almost a whisper.

“I’m sure you say this daily, so hopefully you won’t be too surprised. This may sting a little.”

Your eyes went wide as he suddenly sunk his teeth into the column of your neck. You could feel the two points of his canines drive deep, puncturing your skin easily. Your body spasmed as he pulled the fangs out. Blood oozed from the wound, but it was lapped up before it could drip over your collarbone.

The man went back to the gouges and this time you felt yourself jerk violently as he began sucking. A hand was suddenly on your upper thigh, then another on the opposite side of your neck, holding you there. It felt like receiving the world’s most painful hickey.

You shuddered and the hand on your thigh tightened. The man had a strong grip, and was putting just enough pressure to give a warning. Not that you could move if you wanted to. You weren’t in control of my body anymore.

You were hyper aware of each area of your body he was touching. The skin of his hand against your neck was cold, but his mouth on the other side was warm and damp. You could feel his tongue press into the holes. The sensation was like nothing you’d ever felt before.

For some reason it wasn’t pain you were feeling. There was a strange warmth spreading over the back of your neck and down your shoulders. The man pulled away from your neck for a moment. You could hear him swallow as you felt saliva and blood begin to drip onto your shirt, staining the collar of your lab coat.

He put his mouth on you again, but this time there was no sucking. Just the feeling of his tongue laving over the broken skin. It made your stomach drop and your mind began to feel foggy.

You didn’t know how much blood you’d lost. You could still hear the pounding heartbeat in your ears, but your body felt off. You must have involuntarily jerked again because the hand on your thigh slid upward, almost pressing into the dip of your pelvis.

The man must have been trying to keep you from jerking. But the feel of his thumb at the jut of your hip combined with the pressure of his long fingers around your side was making you feel strange in a different way now.

His lips against your skin was now sending heat to other areas of your body. You felt panic begin to rise in your chest. All the sensations were too much for you to handle and the lack of control over your body led to a response you hadn’t anticipated.

The man pulled back and you were mortified as he glanced down at the obvious bulge in your jeans. He raised an eyebrow.

“I suppose that explains the poor flow.”

He sighed and you could feel cold air rush into the space between him and you as he backed away. There was red at the edges of his mouth. He did a circular swipe with his tongue to lick it away and you felt your pants get even tighter.

Your cheeks were burning and you wanted to cover yourself, but you were still unable to move. The man had put a finger on the side of his face, tapping it in thought. You inhaled sharply as he suddenly swiped his thumb over the twin punctures on your neck, gathering a thick glob of blood.

He put the digit in his mouth and sucked on it in thought briefly before saying, “You humans never change.”

You were able to move your eyebrows down, relaying a confused expression to which he replied, “You’re all driven by libido. Just the slightest stimulation arouses you. It’s rather annoying actually.”

He tutted his tongue and your eyes widened as his hands were suddenly at your belt, unbuckling it deftly. He pulled you toward him, yanking off your pants. You felt your breath quicken even more. You could see your cock tenting your boxers. You wanted to disappear.

However the man had other plans. You nearly jerked off the table as he put the tip of his pointer finger on the head of your cock. He rubbed at the fabric of your boxers. You could feel they were damp.

The finger was moved to the waistband of your boxers. The man tugged them off, not being gentle as he dragged them over your flushed cock. You inhaled sharply and desperately wished you could do something, anything, to stop him as he took you in his palm.

He gripped you, musing, “I’ll never understand the hype over drinking from you virgins.”

The blush on your cheeks spread down your neck and chest and the man laughed.

“I suppose there is the thrill of seeing you come undone at the slightest touch.”

He moved his hand up slowly and thumbed over the head of your cock, which was practically dripping now. You shuddered and let out a pathetic noise as he dug the nail of his thumb into your slit.

“You’re particularity responsive,” the man said, rubbing in a slight circular motion, “Do you perhaps, hmm, what do they call it these days? Bat for the other team?”

The man gave you a ornery smile. You couldn’t say anything. Your tongue was stuck pressed up against your bottom teeth. Even if you could speak it was a subject you didn’t want to talk about, especially with some random psychopath.

However said psychopath was now bending down, pushing your legs further apart, saying, “If you swing that way then perhaps you haven’t found yourself a catcher.” His hooded eyes glanced up at you briefly before he continued in a lower voice, “Or maybe it’s a pitcher you’re looking for, hmm?”

Your whole body spasmed violently as he brushed the pad of his thumb over your asshole. His slang was outdated and embarrassing, but it was obvious he was experienced. The thought excited you more for some reason.

The man grinned and suddenly you were able to move. You gasped loudly as your mouth dropped open. The spit that you hadn’t bee able to swallow dribbled down your chin and you grabbed the edge of the chair to keep myself from tipping over.

You glanced down at the man and was met with a sultry gaze, combined with a vulpine smile. You tried to bring a hand up to push him off, but you had no strength. It was taking nearly all of your energy to try and lean forward and close your legs to try and cover yourself.

He brought the hand not on your cock up to your torso, pushing your shirt up. His fingertips were like ice against your heated skin and you couldn’t resist him as he lightly pushed you so you were lying on your back, legs parted, completely exposed.

You gasped as you felt the man take your cock in his mouth. There was no warning, no tongue teasing beforehand, just the tightening of his throat around you as he took all of your cock in.

Your nails dug into the cheap leather of the donation chair as he pulled off, switching to sucking on the head of your cock while chilled fingers made their way down to cup your balls. You shuddered and then cried out as you felt a finger ghost over your entrance.

The man’s wet maw was on you again, saliva dripping down your shaft as he teased you. You whined slightly as he leaned back after sucking half of you for a brief moment. He was looking at you with lewd curiosity.

You were surprised as he leaned forward so your faces were inches apart. His eyes were definitely tinged red now and his features seemed sharper, the angles more prominent. You gaped at him and then cried out in pain as he suddenly bit you again.

It was a different spot, closer to the junction of your collarbone and neck. The bite was harder, but for some reason the pain was arousing now. He pulled back and you didn’t have time to react as you felt his mouth on yours.

His lips were cold, but everything else was hot. You could taste the copper tang of your own blood in your mouth as he snaked his tongue sinfully past your lips. His fangs tested your bottom lip for a moment before he started kissing you so forcefully it felt like he was trying to devour you.

When you finally parted you were gasping for air. Blood and spit were dribbling down your chin and you could see saliva dripping from the man’s fangs as he gave you a feral smile. Then his hand was cupping your chin, his thumb dragging your bottom lip down.

His voice was husky as he said, “It seems you’re enjoying yourself.” He yanked your face toward him. “Unfortunately I can’t finish eating until we can take care of this it seems.”

As he spoke he pumped your cock a few times, making you squirm under him. He smiled and then you were gagging as he stuck two fingers into your mouth.

“I’ll let you do the sucking for a while,” the man said.

His expression made you nervous so you obediently began sucking, despite the humiliation you felt each time you heard the squelch of spit. When he was satisfied with the amount of your spit he’d gathered on his fingers, he pulled them out abruptly.

He moved his hand below your waist and you jumped as a slicked finger nudged at your hole. The man’s mouth was back on the new bite and it felt like your body was going numb. You could feel him suck at your neck as he pressed a finger into you.

You’d never tried any anal play before, so the feeling of someone pushing their finger into your asshole was so foreign you instinctively jerked away. The finger slid out and the sensation made you shudder.

You shut your eyes and hoped that you might have lost enough blood to pass out. But you could feel every sensation as the man’s finger entered you again. He was relentless in his sucking and now you were beginning to feel dizzy.

Your mind was hazy and when you came back to yourself the man had worked two fingers into you. He curled them upward and you felt like you’d been struck by electricity. It was pleasurable and you could feel more precum drip from your cock as he moved his fingers inside of you.

The man’s other hand was suddenly on your cock, putting pressure in just the right area. He twisted his fingers as he pumped you slowly. It was too much and you cummed so hard you saw white.

Your ears were buzzing and the room was spinning. It felt like you were having an out of body experience, especially as you felt the man’s wet tongue tracing down your abdomen. You couldn’t lift your head to look, but you could feel as he swirled his tongue against your skin.

The wet sensation was gone and you heard him say, “I wonder what the police will come up with as an explanation? After all accidents do happen, but certainly they’ll have never seen a scene like this.”

You felt his nails sink into your thighs. They were abnormally sharp and you cried out. The man retracted his right hand and his face came into view, going in and out of focus as you tried to stay conscious. He caressed your cheek briefly and then the nails which were more like claws, were digging into your scalp.

The man forced your head back and kissed you again. This time the fangs that nipped at your bottom lip drew blood. It rushed into your mouth when he pulled away. There was red dripping down his chin and his fangs glinted as he licked them.

He placed an almost chaste kiss to your bloody lips. When he spoke his voice was almost a hiss, hot air just ghosting over your mouth.

“Such a shame really. A young man with his whole life ahead of him. Oh well. At least we were able to have some fun though, hmm?”

He pulled back enough for your eyes to focus on his face. His eyes were clearly red now, just like the blood that was smeared over his face. The sight was horrific and you felt sick.

Red tinged saliva dripped from his fangs as he opened his mouth to say, “My condolences.”

At those words you closed my eyes and braced yourself. Of course he was going to finish you off. There was no way he’d let you live. If he truly was a vampire like the legends of old, you knew far too much now. Plus you were nothing more than another meal.

You felt his nails rake down your thighs and then he bit into your inner leg. You could hear a scream echo in your foggy mind and you assumed it must have been your own. The man clenched his jaw with so much force, a terrible, wet crunch rang in the air.

He’d gone for your femoral artery. You only knew of it because you had studied it, browsed the pages and diagrams, reading how long it took to die after it had been severed. Was it a minute? Less?

You could feel your heartbeat becoming irregular. Blood, your blood, was seeping into the material of your jeans and your vision was beginning to go dark. What little feeling you still had in your body sent shooting pain through your leg and pelvis. The horrifying crunch must have been one of your bones.

Your vision blurred and for some reason your mind recalled the man’s question earlier regarding the blood types you’d gotten donations of for that day. AB- was what he’d asked for. It so happened that you were AB-, a fact you’re sure he found out as soon as he sunk his teeth into you. He’d gotten what he was looking for after all.

As the world faded away completely, you wondered if it was a cruel irony or almost poetic.

[mallowstep]

i literally havent been able to stop thinking about the wbcd thing, its so needed in the series. how do you decide which cats die when? do you weigh eventual offspring when deciding, like thornkit/claw eventually having four kits while lynxkit obviously having none? will "important" canonical deaths like swiftpaw, brindleface, etc count towards the death count for the season, or will those types of things be bonus deaths?

figured i'd answer this b4 i went to bed!

i need to scrub the wbcd posts from my queue and rewrite them up to a higher standard, but i'm going to keep the outcomes the same. i've gotten the hang of things now.

anyway, this is all done in one notebook, and the way i do it for wbcd is a little Special. (i've done similar things for fan-ish clans to make sure the numbers work out. they do, generally. sometimes you have bad luck.)

but wbcd doesn't account for moving to the elders' den, increased death rates because of moving to the elders' den, and i don't think i was doing double rolls (i'll explain) last time i queued the posts.

(it's a bit of a mess rn is why i need to scrub and rewrite. or maybe start a(nother) sideblog for it? just for my own sanity?)

anyway.

i've done this out a few times, and i've decided writing shit out by hand is best. maybe i just have no restraint and overcomplicate shit when i start typing, and someone else could make it work.

so first up, determining leader lives: i literally knock off 2/book. if i'm doing something for a fanclan, i generate numbers the same way i do for litters, a normal distribution with mean 2 and standard deviation 4. N(2, 16) if you want to be fancy. i've considered lowering the standard deviation, but i like the swingy-ness of it. (i also permit "gaining" lives to account for this. it's a little hokey, but it makes leaders live for the Right amount of time.)

deputies have a 1/10 chance of dying every season. all of my numbers, here, are estimations based on my initial calculations, then smoothed out to a number that easily goes into 100. again, i do wbcd in batches, and my methodology has changed slightly, so it's possible i was still not rolling for deputies.

seers/medicine cats (seer = 4 letters, and i'm writing by hand, also it fits the Aesthetics of the idea) have a 1/20 chance in dying. i don't usually bother rolling for them, though, because their deaths uh. don't matter? bc wbcd follows canon timeline, i can kill them for drama as needed.

as for warriors, they have a 1/25 chance in dying every season. i believe i calculated the odds for 1/10 living to 40 seasons and 1/3 living to 40 seasons, and then found a number that was easy to remember in between. because i don't track elders in wbcd, no one ever actually retires, but when i do this for other things, i give elders 1/10 chance of dying. just to make sure they don't stack up.

but! wbcd is special because i don't just roll and move on. what i do is, i roll for every warrior, and then i shuffle deaths. did whitestorm die, but i need him to live long enough to be firestar's deputy? well, XYZ is right there not doing anything, why not kill them instead?

and so on.

there's certainly a bit of favouritism going on: when i decided to kill barley, it Hurt me a Lot. but it needed to be done.

the factors that go into my decision are about what their death does to the future. killing whitestorm before he becomes firestar's deputy is frustrating to the plot in ways i didn't want to deal with. killing darkstripe early does nothing.

so non-canon characters (i don't want to say ocs, bc it's more lynxkit, ravenpaw & barley, etc) have a higher risk of dying, because their deaths, well, by their nature their deaths Cannot change the plot.

but that's not the same as offspring. see, blossomfall and thornclaw's kits are very, very, very minor. stemleaf is the only one who matters, and i can easily work around that.

so important canonical deaths do count in the seasonal tally, because the numbers are supposed to be high for drama. the only exception to this is that i rolled really well for the season of the great battle, so i ended up using my litter size generator for an extra number of deaths. i'd do this again for a time when there was that kind of Big Event Death if i rolled "too well."

now, you didn't ask about this, but i want to be thorough: how do i do kits and apprentices?

okay, apprentices are my favourite part, because they're the only group that has dynamic odds. uh, i'm going to say seasons, but what i mean is, when i'm on my leafbare page, i then roll to see who lives through newleaf, and i call that the newleaf roll. i know it's confusing, that's just the convention i started with.

so anyway, seasonal odds of death for apprentices

newleaf: 0/1 greenleaf: 1/10 leaffall: 1/5 leafbare: 1/10

if you recall my overall apprentice odds, this might seem odd, but you have to remember that "leaffall" really means "1 out of 5 apprentices dies every greenleaf."

i've considered flipping this, but for reasons i'll explain in kits, having the newleaf "palette cleanser" means that the warmer months aren't as brutal as they seem.

so for kits: when there's a litter born in a season, i don't do anything. if there are multiple, i try to space them out. there's not like. a reason for this, other than helping me keep the numbers straight.

for seasons with no litters, i generate a litter size and pick a queen who's "free."

the litter size generated is N(3, 9), or mean 3, standard deviation 3. negative numbers mean nothing here, and there's a fair amount of Large Litters. it would be realistic to split those up, but that takes a Lot of time and bookkeeping.

anyway, generated litters usually have no father, because you know. keeping things moving here. i pick a free queen, which basically means:

the queen whose next canon litter and last litter in wbcd are furthest away.

this is a balancing act, and i usually favour not giving a couple an early litter before their first canon litter. but if, say, willowpelt needs to have a litter in two seasons, even if she could have two litters back to back, i don't like doing that.

so i might find someone who has had their last canon litter and give them an extra one, or someone who's a while away from their next litter.

for generated litters, i give them an extra roll. because i disregard negatives, litter sizes trend larger than intended, so an extra first roll keeps them down. all rolls for kits are 1/5 odds of death.

but if i roll a 5, i circle the bullet point, and roll twice next season. this is because 4/5 * 4/5 is 0.64, which is more than my ideal survival rate of 0.50. add in another 4/5, for the bonus roll, and you drop to 0.512. the occasional extra rolls sends some kits down to 0.40 survival rating.

one day, i will figure out what those odds are to see if my numbers are still accurate, but having played this scenario out pretty far, i think it works.

i also employ the double roll for apprentices. hence having no rolls in leafbare means i can sort of. stop anything from cycling over.

if u have more questions about the mechanics/my process behind this, let me know. i hope i explained everything clearly, but it's all basically scribbled in a single notebook that i actually need to dig out so i can fix things.

thanks for asking! i'll be out with more wbcd content soon.

[trashquisitor-shirozora]

playlists I make that aren’t fic-specific are me hyperfixating in unhinged ways a la dumbfuck fusion/crossover AUs and “how did kingdom hearts even happen????”

anyway I need to ramble about my current dumb hyperfixation playlist because all of the songs work somehow and also my brain is such a pressure cooker right now and I need to vent something. might as well be a stupid post about songs I listen to.

thots about a lot of stuff: just some thoughts about seafarers and starfarers and superheroes

Dusk Till Dawn :: ZAYN, Sia - Immaculate vibes. I wanted some night chill playlists to balance my retro/synthwave hyperfixation and this one hits the sweet spot. I can make it work for my M-rated dinluke fic and I can make it work for blackbonnet just you wait.

Automatic Call :: NINA, LAU - Retro/synthwave is life. More dinluke and blackbonnet vibes, and I am taking no questions at this time.

Ship To Wreck :: Florence + The Machine - I was using this for Mass Effect/mshenko stuff but *insert fuck-ugly laughter here* Actually Florence has immaculate OFMD/blackbonnet songs YOU KNOW I’M RIGHT.

What The Water Gave Me :: Florence + The Machine - I am very much feeling this Ed/Edward/Blackbeard/the Kraken song. Like if I were to write an OFMD fic (which I’m not, I swear) I would try to steal a lyric from this song to use as the title first.

The Chain :: Fleetwood Mac - David Jenkins & Co. were insane for using this song the way they did. I already thought James Gunn & Co. were fucking nuts when they used it in GOTG Vol. 2. Fleetwood Mac is a definitive part of my childhood because my parents grew up on them and I just... I love everything about this song so fucking much.

All The Stars :: Kendrick Lamar, SZA - First of all, one of the best CBMs of all time (Into the Spider-verse is still at the top of my list though). It gives galaxy brain vibes. Makes you wanna go off like an active volcano.

Never Let Me Go :: Florence + The Machine - someone said this was an OFMD/blackbonnet song and they’re right. It’s so good?????? It’s so fucking good what the fuck.

The End Of The World :: Skeeter Davis - I love The Eternals, flaws and fuckups and all. What a big-brained movie hampered by it being just 1 movie. Wish Chloe had the space, time, budget, whatnot to really dig into the MCU Gets Weird period. Also this is a nice palette cleanser of a song because every other song is just so fucking intense y’know???

Dangerous Dreams :: LeBrock - this is my dinluke/DinDjarin/The Mandalorian song. This is the song. This is the song to end all songs. Sometimes I wanna kick down doors and fuck shit up, and sometimes I just wanna cry because of all these feelings.

Spirit In The Sky :: Norman Greenbaum - Skeeter Davis’s song needed a companion, if that makes sense. Also I decided to revisit Thor Ragnarok after seeing OFMD for like the third time and I’ve been having thoughts about Star Trek sitting between Star Wars and OFMD in terms of space, the sea, and nautical terms? And then I thought about the worst AU I ever wrote in which the GOTG play a big role and that’s how this song ended up on the list. It makes sense. It all makes sense.

Counting Stars:: OneRepublic - I’ve been listening to this song since 2013 and I love it a stupid amount because it works every-fucking-where. I don’t need to find the right blorbo for this song because THEY ALL WORK this song fits ALL OF THEM. 

Anyway that’s my stupid hyperfixation playlist of the moment. Man, finally feeling slightly less feral. What a great feeling. Time to

[bloodyshadow1]

just finished Alanna’s route and I gotta say, I’d give it a C, it wasn’t bad, but I didn’t see a lot of good either.  There was so much crammed in as much as possible between the Society (that we barely get to see anything of), Time travel (which is fine but done pretty poorly with little buildup or fanfare or explanation), Immortals (like time travel, a decent story enough on it’s own, but only mentioned in the final 3rd of the story and barely talked about afterward), and Magic power stones (pretty vague power system that no one seems interested in telling the MC about) it feels like they accidently threw 4 darts at the idea board this time and never bothered to throw again.  It’s such a mess that the MC has to take on faith without ever being given a real reason to side with the Circle over anyone else other than her ex girlfriend is part of it and they hate her dad.  It’s so quick and it doesn’t ever feel like the right decision at least to me since you spend so little time with the Circle even as background characters to Alanna’s story.

Alanna as a character is kind of meh for me overall.  Physically her design is fine, seems cute more than hot or sexy, but sort of bland and generic.  there are other cute love interests that never felt this generic, she feels like she should be the sister or best friend character instead of the love interest of the MC.  It doesn’t help that by making her the MC’s ex returned, we know little to nothing about her, so much of a romance arc is missing because even if the MC knows, we the player don’t know what’s so great about Alanna.  All of Alanna’s character feels told instead of shown, the MC seems to worship the ground she walks on, but the actual story leaves much to be desired because we don’t really see her do anything super charming or amazingly skilled.  She’s pretty, but she’s not even the most beautiful woman in her route much less London or the world. I could understand why the MC would love her since she’s still hung up on her, so I could believe it if I took the story with a grain of salt, but the fact that her personality seems to be she’s so charming and everyone loves her without every truly delivering on such claims makes her whole route fall even flatter than it’s plot led to. The fact that the MC slept with her right away as a ‘palette cleanser’ was sort of interesting, but it still felt like being told about her, nothing about what she and the MC had gone through felt like she was so irresistible that the MC would need to get her out of her system, because we don’t know anything really about her relationship with Alanna.  And that’s a big problem to her selling points as a love interest

  We don’t know all the stories the MC has with Alanna, especially if they only dated for 2 months, the audience/player/readers, need to understand why the MC is in love with their love interest besides the route being named after them, by making their entire relationship when they first fell in love we miss all of that and are left with empty feelings and gestures between the two of them. The little back and forths between them about their past are okay to start with, but nothing about Alanna as a character from her 12 chapters makes me believe that she’s so lovely the MC can overlook her massive flaws and go along with her very unpersuasive desire to have the MC join them to help the world.  Her depression and feelings of helplessness after 200 years was interesting, but it felt like it came too late.  I’m actually really glad the MC called her out on her bullshit, by the end of her first chapter, I get a bit of where she’s coming from, but what Alanna did to the MC was fucked up and she doesn’t get to just pretend it never happened.

Plot wise, the story is a mess, like Alanna, so much of the story is told to the MC and she’s supposed to take it on faith that the Circle is somehow more morally right than the rest of the Society.  It fails because the Circle has barely any real character, they have interesting traits that if they were around more to make me care about them as something other than the vehicle to do the time travel and nothing more.  In so many routes, you’re introduced to all your love interests at the same time and they’re already a group, while you spend the most time with your love interest, you get to know most of the characters as people outside of their routes, but the rest of the Circle is pretty bland.  Not to mention that the Society is built up as this big maybe evil maybe just powerful and in the wrong hands thing..., but you barely interact with them at all.  The only people tell  the MC and her brother that the Society is bad is the Circle who are actively members of it and nothing about what they say or do makes me feel like they’re any more trust worthy than the rest of the society except most of them are going to be future love interests.  In Alanna’s route, the only member of the Society not in the Circle that has a unique character portrait is Arabella and she’s kind of a more interesting character with a more sympathetic story than the Circle. We hear about how corrupt and morally bankrupt the higher ups in the Society are, and we know the MC hates her dad, who seems to be considered the worst, but aside from being a bit stuff and arrogant, (much like the wealthy elite of our world) we don’t see much evil, and it confuses me if the Circle wants to bring down the Society or try and take control of it for the greater good without much of a reason to trust them.

The Immortal plot point fell flat to me, like the story basically skipped over the time travel plot device by making it literally a this happens and barely talk about it, but adding the Immortality plot felt unneeded in a narrative that needed a lot more structure, not irons in the fire.  I feel like if Alanna/your love interest was the only one of the Circle that was immortal other than the Elites of the Society it would have made a better route to go.  Having an immortal character in your romantic story is fertile ground, they could be a tragic figure, a figure who is hedonistic and loving their immortality, etc, there are plenty of ways to go, an immortal character with a bunch of their pals who are already incredibly powerful and have a vague sense of goodness about them, makes it feel far from a curse or whatever they’re trying to portray it here.  It could have also been introduced better to the MC by say meeting Arabella in the present day and being shocked by seeing her and needing confirmation from the Circle or Alanna, instead of Alanna dropping it in a mood to the MC.  

Overall, it felt to complicated of a story to tell with all the moving pieces that didn’t deliver on any of them sadly.  the whole story felt like it was a mix between Queen of Thieves and Astoria Fates Kiss, without the charms of either the story or the characters, replacing Greek Mythology with time travel.  I will also say, it the plot made me kind of uncomfortable with how a bunch of mostly white young adults have decided to be judge and jury throughout time with the first antagonist being a powerful black lesbian in london 200 years ago, and we only have their word that something is afoot.  I know that she actually was doing bad stuff, but the Circle is just a vigilante group with no actual authority and using time travel as their own means of policing people and if it wasn’t a simplistic romance story disguised as a scifi fantasy story, I feel like more nuance would have saved it.

The good parts: Alanna’s route for Immortal Hearts Society wasn’t all bad, I  I will admit I am probably overly harsh since I just finished it.  I actually really enjoyed the both the Female and Male MC character designs, they both were surprisingly interesting compared to a lot of MC’s.  I really did enjoy the MC for the most part and I liked her relationship with her brother, most of the time I’ve seen sibling relationships in Lovestruck they’re fine but don’t tend to have much actual conflict, just superficial.  But I like that the MC loves her brother, but burned her bridges with him to keep him safe, she regrets what she had to do but not what happened which is a pretty interesting take.  Alanna was enjoyable as a love interest in the beginning, but as the story got more and more convoluted, it felt like she didn’t have much actual character.  I do have a soft spot for the Circle characters, except for the two current love interests, I’m more annoyed that we didn’t get to see and interact with them more, especially since it looks like they’ll be future love interests if the pattern holds.  It was a fine story and I know I’m being overly harsh, but it just felt underdone instead of bad, which tends to make it worse in my mind because the lost potential is frustrating. 

 I wouldn’t mind continuing if the writing got tighter next season, I’ll still give it a try.  I would very much like an Arabella route before anyone else, she has such a gorgeous design and despite not seeing a huge amount of her character being a warm genuinely kind person stuck between a rock and a hard place for her family was an interesting take instead of making her one of the many false sweethearts in Queen of Thieves that stab you in the back.  I also think that if she still is around in modern day she would have fit the story as a love interest better than Alanna. 

Not sure if anyone is going to bother to read this but it feels good to get it out.  Maybe you think I’m full of shit and I’m fine with that, maybe you love Alanna and she’s your favorite love interest.  I’m sorry you read this because I don’t want anyone to feel bad, this is simply how I feel after reading the first chapter

[stardewtales]

You should write more about that first part of those headcanons 💚

anon i literally thought you were riley because she asked me to do the exact same thing .2 seconds after she read them y’all are kindred spirits i swear

but anyways I hope you like this!! one tall glass of shane juice just for ya babes. putting a cut because this got hella long. chug that spicy fluff ladies x

It’s the end of autumn, and Marnie has asked Shane to look over Jas for the night. Jas is absolutely elated.

“Sleepover! Sleepover! Sleepover!” she chants, jumping up and down on the couch.

Shane chuckles, bringing out plates of pizza slices for them into the living room.

“It’s not a sleepover if we already live together, squirt,” he teases her.

Jas pouts at him. “Yes it is!” she insists.

He huffs. “Fine, you know what, if you want this to be a sleepover, let’s make it one. Just please don’t tell aunt Marnie I heated up pizza instead of the soup she left for us.”

Jas giggles. “Promise I won’t tell,” she tries to wink but just ends up blinking. “Pinky swear!” she adds, holding out her pinky and waving it at him.

Shane easily grabs her pinky with his. “I’ll hold you to it,” he says with a faked seriousness.

He pops in the movie into the player, some animated film about dancing sister princesses. If he didn’t go to Jas’s room regularly, he wouldn’t remember the last time he saw so much pink. He doesn’t mind, though; Jas is delighted, which is all that matters. 

They finish their pizza pretty quickly, and Jas nestles into his side on the couch. He puts his arm around her, a swell of pride burgeoning inside. She’s so tiny, her breaths so small. He forgets sometimes. 

They are halfway through the movie when someone knocks at the door.

“Who is it?” Jas asks, looking up at him.

“I don’t know,” he answers, frowning as he checks the time. “Don’t worry, I’m going to go check and be right back. You can tell me what I missed when I get back,” he ruffles the top of her head.

She giggles, before focusing back on the movie. He gets up with a grunt, stretching out. His steps are lazy as he makes his way to the door. The knocks come again.

“Yeah, yeah, coming,” he mutters.

He swings the door open, and is shocked to see you there.

“What are you doing here so late?” he asks, confused.

You take a second to answer, blinking at him. “Why hello Shane, good to see you too,” you grimace.

He sighs and scratches his cheek, slightly embarrassed. “Sorry. I, uh, nice to see you. But why am I seeing you, exactly? Weren’t you… mad at me?”

“You weren’t at the Stardrop,” you say, shifting on your feet, avoiding his gaze. “I was worried you might be sick or… something. You can be a rude ass when you put your mind to it, but that doesn’t mean I want you to perish, you know.”

His neck burns with heat at that. He’s still ashamed you had to find him like that by the cliffs, this summer. But you should know he’s doing better by now, shouldn’t you? It’s all because of you, after all. No matter how often he snaps at you, which he only does because he’s freaking out. Freaking out about how fast you make his heart beat and how great your hair smells when you hug him and how he’s still just waiting for the other shoe to drop when you decide you’ve had enough of his friendship.

“I’m babysitting Jas,” he explains, clearing his throat. “Marnie’s off boning the Mayor tonight,” he adds in a whisper so Jas won’t have a chance of hearing.

Your eyes grow wide and he sees you stifle a burst of laughter, biting the inside of your cheek. He… he likes when you do that. Couldn’t say why. He just likes it. 

“There’s, uh, leftover pizza if you want to hang out a bit,” he offers. He really hopes you’ll stay; you’ve been so busy preparing for the winter, he’s barely seen you this week. And, there’s been the whole mad at him thing, because he called you overbearing and fussy for telling him to ease up on the drinking last Friday night. 

You seem to hesitate, looking out towards the path that leads to your farm. “I need to wake up early tomorrow,” you start, and he deflates, “but I guess a slice of pizza can’t hurt.”

“Oh,” he says, not having expected that. “That’s, erm, cool. Jas is gonna be really happy to see you, too.”

“And you won’t?” you ask with a smirk, stepping inside.

He feels his cheeks burn. You make him blush so easily, it’s horrible. 

“Jury’s still out on that,” he teases, hiding his fluster.

You glare at him as you kick off your boots, but he knows you don’t mean it.

“Jas?” you call out, heading for the living room.

He follows behind you. He can’t help his eyes dropping to eye the sway of your hips as you walk, and flushes once more as he forces himself to look away. Get a grip, man, he chastises himself.

He hears Jas gasps as she tumbles off the couch. “You’re here!! Are you here for the sleepover?” she exclaims, running to hug your legs, and you almost topple, but you keep your balance and laugh as you pet her hair affectionately.

“Hey baby girl,” you smile down at her. “If you’ll have me, I’d be really glad to join your sleepover, yeah.”

“Don’t be silly,” Jas giggles. “Of course you can be in the sleepover.”

Shane can’t help but chuckle at the whole thing. He can’t believe he’s lucky enough to have the two best girls in the world with him for the evening. 

You get yourself some of the pizza, and Jas sums up the beginning of the movie for you, sat between you and him. Shane can’t help his eyes drifting to you every so often. At some point, he watches you bite into the slice, heat creeping up his neck when you swallow and lick your lips. You catch him looking, and he feels himself reddens harder, but you don’t seem to notice.

“Want some?” you simply hold out the slice to him.

“Uh, no,” he gulps. “I’m fine, thanks.”

You shrug, and he focuses on the screen. As soon as you set the plate down, Jas looks at you with expectant eyes.

“Can I braid your hair? Please?” she asks you.

“Well,” you smile, “It wouldn’t really be a sleepover if I said no, uh?”

Jas is ecstatic as you slide down to sit on the floor in front of where she sits on the couch. She takes up to braiding sections of your hair as she hums along to the songs in the movie, wildly out of time. Shane lets out a laugh when you start to dance along moving your shoulders as much as you can while still allowing for Jas to keep working on your hair.

“What?” you turn around with an exaggerated indignant expression.

Jas inhales loudly, before turning to him as well. “Yeah, what, uncle Shane?” she mimics.

He only laughs harder, pulling Jas to him. She squeals as he kisses the top of her head, and he catches you smiling softly at him and Jas. It creates a knot in the pit of his stomach. 

“You look ridiculous,” he teases you, gesturing to the uneven braids.

Jas gasps. “No she looks pretty!” she argues. 

“See, Jas knows what she’s talking about,” you stick your tongue out at him.

Jas is squinting at him. “Say she looks pretty,” she orders him.

His mouth dries up. You’ve suddenly taken to watching the movie very intently. Jas tugs on his sleeve, insistent.

“Okay, okay,” he gives in, swatting her away. “She’s… she’s pretty. There, happy?”

She gives him a toothy grin. “Really pretty?”

His breath strangles. “The prettiest,” he mutters, and you choke on the cold popcorn you’re munching on, startling him. “That good enough for you?” he asks his niece.

She nods vigorously, before settling back down behind you. As the movie goes on, she starts to yawn more and more often. By the end of it, she’s rubbing her eyes, struggling to keep them open. She barely puts up a fight when he tells her it’s time to brush her teeth and get to bed. He feels a warm rush when she hugs you goodnight and you plant a kiss on her cheek. You’d just fit so well into his life, he knows it. You already do.

He’s tucking her in when she asks him the question she’s asked him five or six times already.

“Uncle Shane?” she asks, voice sleepy.

“Hmm?” 

“Why isn’t she your girlfriend?”

He sighs deeply. 

“She is, squirt, she’s a girl who is a friend,” he replies. 

Jas pouts. “Do you love her?”

“I…” he hesitates. “I do. Like I love you and aunt Marnie. That doesn’t mean I want aunt Marnie to be my girlfriend, now does it?”

She crinkles up her nose. “Gross.”

He chuckles. “Yeah, got that right. Sleep tight, baby girl. Sweet dreams,” he kisses her forehead.

“Night night,” she yawns, clutching the covers. 

He’s as silent as he can be as he shuts her door and walks back to the living room. He finds you picking at your nails on the couch.

“Hey,” he whispers.

“Hey.”

You seem about to say something as you look towards the door. He speaks up first; he doesn’t want you to go, not yet. 

“I don’t know about you, but I need a palette cleanser after all that glitter.”

You chuckle. “Won’t we wake Jas if we put on another movie?”

“I have a TV in my room,” he offers, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible. 

“Oh, right,” you nod. “Yeah, okay, sure.”

He exhales in relief when you get up to follow him to his room, before the nerves kick in. It’s not like you haven’t been in his room before. It’s just that every other time, Marnie was around, and it wasn’t past nightfall.

You shiver as you walk into his room with him. “Your room is freezing, man,” you say, rubbing your arms.

“It’s not even that cold,” he rolls his eyes.

He crouches in front of the TV to put in a movie, and he hears his bed creak behind him. 

“What are you doing?” he asks, shocked when he turns around to see you settling down on the bed, back against the wall. “There’s a couch over there.”

You eye the couch briefly. “I’m not sitting down on your ratty couch, pal. Last time I did my jeans smelled like beer for a week.”

He flushes a deep red. “Fine,” he grumbles. “What movie do you want to watch anyways?”

You shrug. “I don’t mind. Your pick. Just make it good,” you tease.

He rolls his eyes. “Sure, no pressure then.”

He goes for an old favourite of his, pops it in before walking up to the bed, but he hesitates. You pat the place beside you, smirking, and he clumsily climbs up beside you, making sure to leave some distance. When the opening credits begin, you laugh incredulously.

“Are you kidding me right now?” you ask. “That one, really?

“What? It’s a classic!”

“It’s the cheesiest action movie ever made, is what it is,” you laugh.

“Be quiet,” he shoves you, and you only laugh harder.

You’re twenty minutes into the movie when he notices you looking around the room.

“Need anything?” he asks you.

You rub your arm. “Do you have a blanket or something? I’m a bit cold, but I’ll manage if you don’t.”

He scans the room as well, before remembering the throw he keeps for colder nights is in the laundry.

“Shit, sorry I don’t really have anything to offer you,” he says, contrite.

“That’s okay,” you wave it off.

Some more time passes before you shiver again.

“Boy you’re really cold aren’t you?” he notes. He wanted to sound like he was teasing you, but what ends up coming out is just soft. Too soft.

The embarrassed smile you offer him has him weak. 

“Do you… do you mind if I come closer?” you whisper, staring ahead at the TV.

His blood runs cold. “Do I mind if..?” he trails off, only able to echo your question.

You don’t leave him much time before you scoot against him, pressing against his side. The way you exhale, leaning your head down on his shoulder, isn’t too far off from a sigh, and his heart jumps in his ribcage. Your legs are folded, resting on his lap.

“Oh,” he says. “Okay, uhm, here, I’ll just put my… arm around you,” he struggles to say, before doing so. “Like this…How’s this?”

“Better,” you hum. 

He nods. “That’s good,” he murmurs.

He can’t remember the last time he’s been this nervous. Thank goodness for the darkness, because he knows that hearing you breathe like this, so very close, it has him flushing a dark red.

“Your shoulders are really comfy,” you say, shifting your head a bit. 

He can only swallow. When the big love scene comes on, the two of you are still as rocks. He can hear the way your breath grows a bit shallow. It’s almost the end of the movie when you reach a hand forward, dragging on his stomach, to grab his hand, lacing your fingers with his. 

“What are you…?” he asks hastily, heart skipping a beat. He becomes very self-conscious of the softness of his abdomen. He doesn’t see how you won’t notice it.

He hears you gulp, notices how you retreat your hand slightly. You still won’t look at him. “Would you rather I don’t?”

“No,” he sputters hastily, instinctively clutching your hand tighter. “I mean, I,” and he relaxes his grasp a bit, “I’m okay with it.”

“Okay,” you whisper.

For the rest of the movie, he can’t seem to focus. Having you curled up against him like this, it’s something out of his wildest dreams. He can’t piece together what it means, doesn’t understand what can possibly be going through your mind. He startles every time you shift in the slightest, every time you inhale a bit deeper or your breath hitches from following the action on screen. The top of your head is tantalizing; he wants to stroke it, to lean down and kiss it so you’ll finally know. He can’t bring himself to do it.

He grabs the remote and shuts off the TV when the credits start to roll. You don’t move. He tries to look down, but he can’t see your face, only the top of your head still.

“I’m sorry I was such a dick the other day,” he ends up saying. “I… I never mean it, when I snap at you.”

“I know,” you answer, and your voice is a low hum, so pleasant. “Why does it keep happening, though? If I annoy you, you can tell me before I reach your limit, you know.”

“No, it,” he pauses, struggling to find the words, “It has nothing to do with you. Or at least, it’s not your fault.”

He’s sure you’re frowning, despite being unable to see. “What is it, then?”

He exhales shakily. “Sometimes… sometimes I worry too much and I forget how to act. I get so fucking scared of losing you. You’re the only person who likes… gets me. As I am.”

You finally tilt your head to look up at him, and he’s short for breath. You’re so close. “I’m not going anywhere, Shane,” you tell him, squeezing his fingers. Usually, there’s always something teasing in your tone, even if it’s just underlying. But the way you say this… the way your eyes are so soft as you peer up at him, it’s gentle in a whole new way. Tender. “I don’t want to lose you either,” your eyes shut painfully. “I wish you’d stop pushing me away.”

Your eyes flutter back open. He doesn’t know what to say. You let go of his hand, and he lets it go reluctantly. And then you bring it up to his chest, and he gulps when his breath catches. 

He doesn’t know how much time passes as you just look at each other like this, anxious. And then something shifts, something you both can feel but couldn’t pinpoint. Your mouths meet each other halfway, him leaning down, you tilting up, so tentative and slow. Your eyes flutter shut. At first, his lips barely graze yours.  But then they do again, and your lips draw his in definitively this time. He overwhelmed by how loudly you exhale through your nose; it sounds like somehow you’ve just might’ve been holding out for this just as much as he has. 

His head spins when you pull apart. “Woah,” is the only sound he can muster, filled with quiet wonder.

You huff the quietest of laughs. 

“Can we, uh,” he swallows, “do that again?”

He expects you to to tease him for that, to give him that mocking smile of yours that seems to come so easily. Instead, you just nod, sitting up, your hand pressing further into his chest for purchase as you go back to kiss him again. 

This time he’s ready. There’s more conviction to the way his mouth captures yours, more yearning. You make a sound halfway between a moan and a whimper, ringing so loud in the silence of the room. His arms wrap around you tighter. He doesn’t want to let go, ever. The abandon with which you kiss him has him reeling. He almost whines when you pull away.

“Let me stay here tonight,” you breathe. “I know you. If you don’t wake up with me beside you tomorrow morning, if I don’t hold you as soon as you open your eyes, you’ll convince yourself this isn’t real.”

He can hear blood thrumming in his head. You place a gentle kiss on his lips to drive your point home, before pulling back and holding his gaze.

“Nothing has to happen,” you add, blushing, and fuck, it’s adorable. “Nothing will happen. I just want to… be with you.”

“But,” he scrambles, “where do we go from here? I just… I don’t know how to do this. I didn’t think I’d get to.”

You smile gently and stroke the stubble on his cheek. He feels like he’s meeting a whole new you. There’s affection pouring from every touch. He’s never been touched like that, not really. 

“We’ll figure that out in the morning,” you tell him. 

You kiss him again, sweet as ripe fruit. His hunger for it hasn’t been sated yet. He wants you to feel how hard he wants you, every last part of you. It’s not a physical desire. Well, it’s part of it, and he knows he needs to stop before too much blood rushes down below, but mostly he wants you in an all-encompassing way. 

He wants to spend evenings cuddled up with you by a fire as the wind rustles the pines. He wants to hear you say his name the way you do when you can’t bring yourself to be mad at him again and again. He wants to go to the beach at dawn with you for no reason, which is stupid he knows because he hates waking up early. He wants to be inside of you as the birds chirp in the morning and you still have pillow creases on your face.

“Stay,” he nods, breathing deeply when he pulls away. “Stay, and, and sleep in my arms. You’re right, you’re always right. I need…” he pauses, “I need you to stay.”

You kiss his jaw, and his eyes flutter shut. “I know. And I… I need it too. I need you too.” 

[spideycentral]

Why Some Classic Spidey Villains Are Being Reimagined

We've known for a while that we're getting a fresh take on the likes of Molten Man and Hydro-Man in Spider-Man: Far From Home but what's wrong with the comic book versions of these villains?

"The real nerdy inside joke here is that they're based on B-level Spider-Man baddies," executive producer Eric Carroll explains. "There is actually a villain in the comics called Hydro-Man, who's a guy made out of water but wears a t-shirt and has a haircut..." In other words, they were too silly to be adapted in a straightforward manner, hence why they're now "Elementals."

Carroll adds that the idea was to make them "kind of scary and threatening...for all the comic fans keeping score, it'll be fun to see Hydro-Man brought to the big screen in a way we think is pretty cool."

Did Spider-Man And Nick Fury Meet In Avengers: Endgame?

Spider-Man and Nick Fury were both at Tony Stark's funeral, so why does the former S.H.I.E.L.D. Director say that it's nice to meet him in the teaser trailer? While we've since assumed that it was a line recorded solely for that preview, Jon Watts has now further confused matters! "No, it's not a fake-out," he claims. "They actually talk about why they didn't talk in that...it's not a fake-out. But there is more to [this subject] than meets the eye." What if Peter's parents were S.H.I.E.L.D. agents and killed in the line of duty? (they worked for the C.I.A. in the comics)

Mysterio's Helmet Will Be VFX

That's right, if you were hoping for some behind the scenes photos of Jake Gyllenhaal walking around with a fishbowl helmet on his head, you're going to be pretty disappointed as it's 100% CGI.

"When we introduce a new character [from the comics], we try to boil them down to what is iconic about them and hang on to that," Carroll explains, "but also in a way that translates to film, because obviously some of this is a little bit goofy."

"But speaking of goofy," he continues, "Mysterio will have a fishbowl helmet. It'll be added digitally."

We're Not Getting A "Dark" Take On Peter Parker

Peter may be mourning for Iron Man in Spider-Man: Far From Home but that doesn't mean we should expect a dark take on the superhero. "[This] isn't the start of a new, dark 'emo' phase for Peter," Watts confirms. "Even though he's gone through all these dramatic and traumatic events, he's still the same Peter Parker we know and love." "It's seeing how he deals with those things that's interesting for me," Watts concludes.

Iron Man's Secret Lab

In the trailers for the movie, we've seen Peter Parker working in what appears to be a hi-tech lab of some sort (and there's a lot of speculation that it's where he creates that red and black costume).

Well, the magazine reveals that this is actually a secret workshop in the back of the Stark Jet which includes a huge robotic arm and plenty of tools so, yes, it's easy to imagine the wall-crawler using it here.

The Action Is Bigger And Better

"A lot of the stunts are really more explosive than in the first one," claims Ned actor Jacob Batalon. "I feel like Homecoming was more about getting your feet wet; this one really goes for it."

That's a sentiment Tom Holland agrees with. "A lot of the action in Homecoming was kind of private, more contained. This one is much more global. We've got a lot of screaming extras!"

Where The Stealth Suit Comes From...

"Nick Fury provides Spidey with this outfit," Carroll reveals, "which is very much in the world of what you see with Black Widow and other S.H.I.E.L.D. characters." However, it still features some familiar elements.

Michael Mooney, an associate costume designer on the movie, explains that "The new suit still has the good old-fashioned web-shooters. It's a slightly different model in order to make them fit on, but they're the tried and tested bog-standard shooters."

...And How It Differs To Peter's Other Costumes

It may have the same web-shooters but there is one crucial difference here. "His Stark suit, which we saw in Homecoming, has all the tech built underneath it," says Graham Churchyard, the costume FX supervisor. "This one isn't made by Stark, so all the tech is on the outside; it's a lot more armoured, but still very mobile."

He adds that, "It's made by Robyn Gebhart, who's worked on every Spider-Man costume since the Tobey Maguire days. She knows the ins and outs of a Spider-Man costume."

"Michelle Jones"

We know that MJ's first name is Michelle but the magazine refers to her as Michelle Jones and that pretty much confirms that while she may be a different take on Mary Jane Watson, she's also a totally new character. "It's cool to be small in the beginning of a series, and grow into something later,"Zendaya says.

As for whether romance will blossom between MJ and Peter Parker, the actress chose her words carefully. "There's no hooking up in this movie. Of course, there's chemistry between the characters. They're, what, 16 year old kids going on a cool trip together, trying to figure out what they're feeling, or if they even have a feeling. Maybe we don't, maybe we're just friends."

Where Does It Fit In The MCU's Timeline

We know that Spider-Man: Far From Home takes place after Avengers: Endgame but is it part of Phase 3 or Phase 4? While it was previously reported to be the start of the latter, Marvel Studios President Kevin Feige has since said it closes out Phase 3, so which is it?

"Kevin said recently that this movie is technically the end of Phase 3," director Jon Watts says, "so I'll defer to Kevin on Phase-related questions!" Well, that pretty much answers that as it is ultimately down to Feige whether this movie is ends or opens a Phase.

Why Nick Fury Targets Spider-Man

It's pretty weird that Nick Fury would choose to track down Spider-Man on his summer vacation to help battle The Elementals, right? "You know, you have to think of Fury's perspective as well," Watts says. "He' was Snapped out for the last five years, just like Spidey, then brought back." "So now you have this character who's always known everything, always been in charge, who literally created the Avengers...and he's on the back foot, probably for the first time in his life. He needs to rebuild his team, and he's got a high school kid dodging his calls. He's not going to be happy!"

How Does The Multiverse Fit Into The Movie?

"God, it's tough," Watts says when asked about the Marvel Multiverse. "I mean, after the events of Endgame, it kind of feels like anything is possible."

"Time travel, switching dimensions, old Cap...I mean who knows?" The filmmaker did, however, make it clear that at least one element from Avengers: Endgame won't be touched on here. "We don't do any time travel. I can say that. The Russos already did that!"

Balancing Practical And Visual Effects

"It's really inspiring to actually be on location, blowing things up," Watts says when asked about the increased level of action in this movie. "It's very different than when you're, you know, against greenscreen on a stage in Atlanta. You feel that the world exists outside the frame."

"When you're dealing with Mysterio, who's flying around, or Spider-Man, who shoots webs and jumps really far, there's only so much you can get away with practically." However, he made a point of starting with a "real-life shot" and enhancing that rather than creating something totally from scratch.

Why Spider-Man: Far From Home Is A Good Palette Cleanser

Ant-Man and Ant-Man and The Wasp served as palette cleansers after Avengers: Age of Ultron and Avengers: Infinity War, and this time it's down to the wall-crawler to take on that role. "We think it's fun to sort of counter-programme with our movies," says Carroll. "After Endgame, this is a like a dessert - something where you can relax and not worry about it getting too dark, because it's a Spider-Man movie."

Is Sandman In The Movie?

In terms of the Elementals, we know that Hydro-Man and Molten Man are being re-imagined, but what about that rock/sand-like creature in Mexico? Is that a new take on Sandman? "We went digging and found characters," Carroll teases in regards to him and another unseen Elemental. "I'm not going to say exactly which ones yet, because we want to leave some dots for fans to connect."

Is Jon Watts Willing To Return For A Sequel?

Asked what might come next for the wall-crawler in the MCU, Watts says: "He's such a relatable character. I've never had a problem coming up with something new for Peter Parker to do, because I could watch Peter Parker do anything."

Does that mean he's already hard at work developing a third chapter? "It's always at the back of my mind, but I try to stay focused on one movie at a time," he says, refusing to get into specifics about what that could possible entail.

What Tom Holland Hopes To Do Next

As for Tom Holland's hopes for the future, he says he's "excited" for that. As for which villain he'd like to face next, the actor said: "I know you want me to say Venom! That's who you want me to say!" "I don't know. Honestly, that's way above my level. I just fight whoever they put in front of me..." Well, if recent rumours are to be believed, that could indeed end up being Tom Hardy's Venom.

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If You Do. 23 Thea's Birthday {Part.2}

JACKSON

I walked towards the side gate because that's where Thea told me to come through. Mark waited for me before he walked in. There were only a handful of people here, a few of the dancers from the bar I recognised but didn't remember the names of. Thea's friend that had been stabbed by her other friend. Drew wasn't here and neither was BM which I found a little weird because I thought they were best friends?

"Okay, so you showed up. Can we leave now?" Mark commented.

"No, look a table of food," I shooed him away as Thea walked out the back door.

MARK

"Oh look, Jackson brought his douche," I heard Charlie comment, no surprised she was dressed like a girl whose favourite accessory is a pole.

I rolled my eyes making my way over to the snack table, some other guy was also standing there.

"Hey," he gave me a weird look.

"Hi," I nodded.

"How do you know Thea?" was he trying to make casual conversation?

"I don't," I shrugged.

"Party crashing?" he joked.

"Look's that way, I just stole this bandana off some guy as I walked in," I retorted.

"Your secret's safe with me,  you should try those cupcakes, they're so good,"

"Thanks,"

"Do you know many people here?"hHe asked.

"Just one, but he's a little busy right now,"

"You can come chill with me if you want? Saves you standing there like a loner. People might realise that you've party crashed," he smirked.

CHARLIE

Doobin was giving me sex eyes across the garden, I looked away as quickly as I could, with Thea distracted by Jackson I felt a little like a third wheel which made me want to walk away. But I didn't trust myself to do that either. Where was Yuri?

Anger surged through my body at the sight of Mark sitting and talking with Sam. Who did he think he was? Sam is my best friend, and I hate Mark. It's not like Sam hadn't heard about Mark, he was there when I was venting to Jae, why was he talking to that idiot? My anger turned into frustration which only fueled the desire to have sex, especially with Doobin.

"Sorbet," I turned to Thea.

"What?"

"Sorbet," I repeated.

"Uh, you know everyone right? I'll be right back, I just have to deal with something," she smiled at Jackson who just nodded, apparently not at all finding my sudden interruption weird. I would have judged him for it if I wasn't so busy judging myself for having to find a cockblock so I don't sleep with a 19-year-old.

"Dude," Thea frowned at me once Jackson had walked away.

"What? The Sorbet was your idea, and Doobin being here is your fault,"

"I've rung Yuri, twice, he's not answering and I offered to uninvite him, you're the one who came up with an excuse to have eye sex with him all night you sick freak,"

"Well, you don't just sit an addict in front of a table of cocaine because they say they're sober and it's fine,"

"What's he cut with?" she asked thoughtfully.

"What?" I frowned.

"If he's cocaine, what is he cut with?"

"Can you take this seriously?" I huffed.

"You're cocaine addiction?"

"Dude,"

"Sorry, I'll try and call Yuri again,"

"He better have a good reason for being late," I sighed looking around the back yard. Haka was coming through the gate with a girl and an orange hair guy who was super attractive.

       "He's still not answering," she shrugged.

"Have you slept with him?" I pointed at the orange hair guy.

"Haka?" she frowned at me.

"No, the guy with the orange hair,"

"Oh, not to my knowledge," she shook her head.

"That's not exactly reliable,"

"Dude, I don't even know who he is, he's probably friends with Haka" she shrugged.

THEA

"Okay then," she nodded walking over to the guy, she said something to him, he seemed surprised but nodded. She grabbed his wrist and dragged him inside.

Haka walked over to me with the slim attractive girl, I was assuming that she was his date. She was really pretty. I wasn't sure why she would date Haka, not that he wasn't attractive, he just wasn't on her level of attractive.

"Hey, where is BM?" Haka asked.

"Not here, why?"

"Because I brought him a date, that stick up his butt needs removing. By the way, this is Somin, This is Thea, the birthday hoe," he introduced up.

"Happy birthday," she smiled sweetly.

"Thank you, I don't know when or if BM is going to show up. But you're both welcome to join the party, enjoy," I smiled finally getting myself my first drink.

I may have drunk it a little too quickly, like 30 seconds quick, but it was my birthday, I was supposed to be at least a little tipsy by now.

"Hey!" I heard Benji's voice, I turned around as I opened my second bottle.

Benji was walking in followed by McKay who seemed sulky and a little less himself than normal, Dabit, and Cory. Those four had become pretty good friends, they hang out all the time without me which is rude considering I introduced them.

       They were all dressed really well, but Cory was so attractive it took me a minute to form a sentence. Which was a little embarrassing because even though he is attractive, I don't normally consider him as someone I would sleep with. I completely understood Charlie's thing for a guy in a suit, especially a pinstriped suit.

"Here comes trouble," I commented.

"You're already here," Cory retorted.

"Rude,"

"Why aren't you wobbling yet?" Dabit raised an eyebrow.

"This is only my second drink?" I shrugged lifting the bottle to my lips.

"Well, we have four more on you already, except McKay who volunteered to be the designated driver. Catch up," Benji tilted the bottom of the bottle so I had no choice but to drink it quickly or wear it.

"Dude," I smacked him when he let go of the bottom of the bottle, now that it was empty.

"Another one?" he smirked.

"Take your tipsy friend and go away," I instructed Cory.

"On it, but first you have to have a shot with us"

JACKSON

"Does she sleep with everyone?" Mark frowned at Sam.

"No?"

"Really?" he pointed at Charlie who was escorting an orange-haired guy into the house.

"You don't know they're going to sleep together. Charlie's not the type," Same defended her.

"Mark," I frowned.

"What? I was just asking,"

"You're Jackson's friend?" Sam asked.

"Yeah,"

"Huh," he frowned.

"Guess he heard about lunch," I smirked.

"I wasn't the only one being a dick,"

"So you admit you were a dick?"

"No, I was retaliating to her dickish behaviour,"

"She gets moody before a show, it's the stress. She isn't usually that bad," Sam commented.

"See?"  Mark raised an eyebrow.

"He was defending her,"

"Hey!" someone yells, I turned around to see four guys around Thea, one of them basically force-feeding her a drink. She smacked him and they talked then poured shots.

"Who are they?" I frowned asking Sam.

"Trouble," he sighed.

"You said one," she said loud enough for us to hear it, her friends were filling the shot glasses for a second time.

"Huh?"

"They like to think they're encouraging Thea to have a good time, really they just help her get drunk so much faster than she normally does. It's not like she needs the help drinking, but when she is at her limit they continue to encourage her. She's not the easiest person to deal with when drunk, but by the time she needs assistance they're long gone," Sam explained.

"Shouldn't we do something?" I frowned.

"There isn't really much you can do if you don't know how she works," he shrugged.

"Can't you do something?"

"Still healing from a stab wound," he pointed at his shoulder.

"Shawn's got her," he nodded to a shorter guy with blue ripped jeans and a white shirt, he sort of reminded me of a T-bird without the leather. He has gotten up from where he was sitting with the rest of the dancers. I remembered him as the guy who was looking after Thea at the bar the other night, a very drunk Thea.

He ushered the other four guys away who had already convinced her to have four shots. She wasn't looking so good. They were fine, they had drunk the first shot but not the other three. They weren't very good friends.

THEA

"Go away, it's not even dark yet there is no need to get her drunk so early," Shawn frowned at the boys ushering them away.

"No one made her drink," Benji defended.

"Go," Shawn stated seriously.

"Grumpy," I started as I felt the alcohol starting to hit me which was weird because it didn't normally affect me so early.

"Christ Thea," he frowned wrapping an arm around my waist to stabilize me, he escorted me to the bench seat, probably so I didn't fall and instructed me to not move.

I had an overwhelming tired feeling, which I didn't usually get so early in a night of drinking, but I also didn't normally drink quite so much in such a short time frame.

Yuri walked through the back garden followed by  Kiwoo and Minsung. He was over an hour late. He was attractive in a suit, I mean seriously. It's no wonder he is the only guy both Charlie and I have slept with.

       "Hey! You! Come over here!" I yelled.

"You're in trouble," Minsung taunted, grabbing Kiwoo wrist and pulling him away from me.

"Happy birthday," Kiwoo smiled.

"You better have a very good reason for being late," I glared at Yuri.

"Lyolik was sick," he answered.

"Oh gosh, is he okay?"

"I'm here," he nodded.

"Why is she crying?" Shawn frowned between me and Yuri.

"His cat was sick," I pouted.

"He just had a little hairball, he's fine," Yuri assured me.

"Oh, you're on Charlie duty," I stated matter of factly.

"Why?"

"Because," I paused trying to figure out how to tell Yuri that he needed to make sure she didn't have sex with Doobin, without actually saying that.

"She is trying to avoid hickeys," was what I had managed to come up with,

CHARLIE

That was the worst sex I've had, Not that it was bad, but compared to the guys I have slept with he was at the bottom of the list which just left the craving for Doobin stronger. Palette cleanser my ass. I left the spare room before he did, the fact that I still wanted to sleep with Doobin made me mad.

I headed outside, Yuri was chatting with Thea and Shawn who was trying to feed her food.

"Where the crap have you been?" I frowned walking over to them.

"Hey!  Hey, stop," Thea yelled towards me.

"How drunk are you? I've been gone twenty minutes," I frowned.

"Those four aren't the best influence," Shawn nodded towards her 'friends'

"Oh yeah, they're great at creating chaos, not so much at dealing with it later. But back to my point, why are you late?" I frowned at Yuri.

"Hey, I said stop. Lyolik was sick," Thea frowned.

"Is he okay?"

"Yeah, but apparently I'm your baby sitter for the night?"

"According to who?"

"Me, just in case your sorbet didn't help,"

"It didn't,"

"Well, now you're in hickey protection,"

"Is that supposed to be like witness protection?" Shawn frowned, I had momentarily forgotten he was here, or at least that he is Doobin's brother.

"Yeah," Thea nodded still laughing.

"From who?"

"No one," I frowned.

"Oh my god, why are you here?" Thea stared at Shawn, the alcohol was clearly taking full effect.

"Someone has to stop you from falling on your face," Shawn frowned at her.

"Why would you stop her from falling on her face? That is literally the only reason I come to her parties," Jae walked through the back gate.

"Why are you so late?" I frowned at him, I had only just realised that he hadn't been here.

       "My bass player was supposed to pick me up from work with our stuff but apparently he decided to just come here, have you seen him?"

"Hey bro," the orange-haired guy walked up from behind me. Thea started laughing again.

"Thea, shut up," I frowned.

"But he just came here," she continued to laugh.

"It can't be the first time someone has decided to just leave him stranded," I tried to divert the conversation.

"Please tell me you didn't sleep with Thea?" he sighed closing his eyes for a moment.

"Which one is Thea?"

"The one laughing,"

"No, I didn't sleep with her,"

"Wait, so you did sleep with someone?" he frowned snapping his eyes open.

"Yeah he did," Thea cheered.

"Thea," I frowned.

"Please tell me you're gay,"

"No,"

"I take it back, tell me you slept with Thea," Jae shook his head looking more annoyed than I had actually seen him in a long time.

"No, I slept with her, I'm Brian by the way," he smirked pointing at me.

"You slept with Charlie?" he glared at Brian.

"That's Charlie?" he rubbed the back of his neck.

"Dude, seriously? there are like a hundred dudes here, why him?"

"Process of elimination, take out the ones Thea has slept with, because I work with them, and the ones I won't sleep with like you because ew. All that was left was him,"

"You slept with a ginger," Thea burst out laughing.

"We need to have a conversation," he narrowed his eyes further at Brian before pulling him away.

"Not into orange sorbet?" Yuri asked casually which only made Thea laugh more.

JACKSON

"Do you want a drink?" I asked Mark and Sam who had just been chatting away like old friends.

"Nope," they shook their heads.

I felt a little third-wheeled by those two and Thea hadn't come over to talk to me since I first got here, and she had been both surrounded by people and a little too drunk for me to want to risk approaching her.

On my way over I overheard someone speaking in Cantonese, I automatically turned around to see who was speaking in my mother tongue and if I was just hearing things. I wasn't, a black haired guy in a black suit was speaking to a guy who was leaning his head on his shoulder.

"Are you Chinese?" I asked in Cantonese. "No," he replied in English which made me think that maybe I had been hearing things. "Oh, sorry," I frowned shaking my head. "I can speak the language though," he stated in Cantonese as I realised he would have had to know the language for him to answer my question.

CHARLIE

I watched Jackson sit and join Kiwoo and Minsung in a conversation. Clearly, I wasn't the only one unhappy with the Mark Sam team-up. I continued looking around the garden to see what everyone was doing and if they were enjoying themselves because I knew that would be the first thing Thea asked me in the morning, okay maybe not the first thing, it would probably follow; 'Did you sleep with Doobin?' And 'Did I do something stupid?'.

Speaking of Doobin, I hadn't realised I had been staring at him, he had though because he was smirking directly at me, I say smirking when I reality it was more of a perve glare.

"Hey," Yuri nudged me. "What?" "Unless you're going to go and jump him, stop staring," he mumbled. I would have been worried about Shawn hearing him if I couldn't see Shawn dealing with Thea. Who was a little extra out of control tonight?

"Charlie, can you please get my bag from my car?" He called. "What? No, I don't even know what your car looks like. I have to check on something inside," I frowned getting up and making my way in the house.

I quickly glanced back at Yuri who hadn't decided to follow me until he noticed me staring at him. He laughed at my dilemma but followed me inside.

JACKSON

Charlie got up and walked inside with her tall model looking, friend. Shawn let out a sigh and instructed Thea not to move, she laughed and mimicked him. he moved all the breakable things away from her and told her that he would be right back.

She has seemed to sober up a bit since all of the alcohol her friends fed her took effect, but that didn't mean she wasn't still drunk. I was beginning to think that being drunk was her resting state.

"So, how do you know the oh so dignified birthday girl?" Minsung asked.

"Uh, I don't really know her, I mean we've been talking for a few weeks getting to know each other but from what I've been heard about her from everyone else, I don't actually know anything about her," I stated.

"I'm going to get another drink, do you want anything honey?" Kiwoo asked.

"I still have one," he smiled.

"What you've been hearing?" he prodded for more information.

"Mostly about her sex life," I shrugged.

"Don't listen to everyone else," he shook his head taking a sip from his beer bottle.

"It's kind of hard not to,"

"Everyone likes to blow it out of proportion, yes she has slept with a few guys, but not as many as everyone else likes to say she has. Not that she really shuts down the rumours, in reality, she has only slept with a handful of guys, it just seems like a lot because she's still friends with them so they're around a lot,"

"It sounds like you know her quite well," I frowned.

"I haven't slept with her if that's what you mean, I've just known her since high school. I used to date Charlie,"

"So, can you tell me anything positive about her?"

"I can, but will you believe me?" he questioned.

BM

"I'm just going to the bathroom," Somin smiled at me getting up.

"Do you know where it is?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Ah, no" she looked a little embarrassed.

"Just go up the stairs, turn left, go through that door and there is a door on your left,"

"Uh,"

"Do you want me to show you?"

"Would you mind?"

"Come on," I shook my head directing her through the girls' house.

On my way back outside I noticed Benji was now sitting next to Thea who wasn't really in the best mental state, she leant over and whispered in his hear, I'm sure if I was closer I would have heard what she had said, she's not very good at whispering when she had been drinking. He pulled a face, contemplating what she has just said to him then nodded. She tried to get up, he had to help her. Honestly, he wasn't doing the best on his legs either, they started to head inside. I might be mad at her but she was still my best friend and I didn't like the idea of Benji taking advantage of her drunken state, even if he wasn't so clear-headed either.

I took a step to intervene but Shawn was already in the process, he glared at Benji who seemed to be trying to make his point. Shawn looked mad, almost as mad as he had looked last night when he was yelling at me. Thea seemed entertained by the whole thing, Shawn shook his head lifting her over his shoulder, which was kind of funny because he wasn't a tall guy, he was only slightly taller than Thea. She didn't fight him, she just went limp until he put her down in the seat she had just gotten up from.

JACKSON

"That girl is a mess," Mark commented.

"It is her birthday," Sam defended.

"Charlie's?"

"Dude," I frowned.

"I'm just kidding," he rolled her eyes.

"No, you're not," I mumbled.

"She really isn't anything like you think she is," Sam continued to defend her.

"I would have to take your word for it," he shrugged.

"I'm sure her opinion of you is wrong," Sam commented.

"I would have to take your word for it," I smirked, Mark rolled his eyes at me.

"Oh my gosh, you're here!" Thea yelled across the garden, looking directly at me.

"He's been here the whole time," someone commented, I wasn't sure who.

"Come and sit with me," she tried to stand up.

"You should probably go over there before she decides to try and come over here," Sam stated.

"You think she'll make it over here?" Mark asked curiously.

"No, but she'll try and she'll become very difficult for whoever tries to stop or help her,"

"That sounds kind of entertaining," he shrugged.

"Hey, come sit with me," she called.

"I'm coming,"

"I would think twice about that," Mark commented.

"You should stop drinking," I frowned at him.

"Yeah, I'm the one who should stop drinking,"

I just rolled my eyes making my way over to the table she was sitting at with Shawn. She was staring off into the bonfire that they had started not too long ago, she seemed pretty determined to go over to it when it had first been lit, Shawn had made sure she stayed put.

"Jackson, you're here," she smiled when I sat down next to her.

"I am," I nodded.

"I didn't think you were going to come," she pulled a perverted face.

"He's been here basically all night,"

THEA

I woke up sandwiched between two buff dudes, I opened my eyes to the ceiling, Shawn was on one side of me, Austin on the other. I tried to move but they had me pretty securely in place. I'm not really sure why they were both in my bed, I also wasn't sure that them having me sleep on my back was the safest option.

It took some effort but I finally managed to wiggle free, neither one of them moved, one of them, I'm assuming Austin had a box of Advil and a bottle of water next to the bed with my name written on it. It was adorable really, I'm sure Shawn had told him I don't get hungover, no one really believes it at first. I left it there because I was sure one of them would probably need it.

I stretched sliding on my pants walking out the door as Shire emerged from under my bed, he jumped up between the two boys, curled up into a ball and went back to sleep. Closing the door behind me I heard noises from the kitchen like someone was cooking in there noises.

Doobin was cooking away, normally I would have intervened straight away, I hate people cooking in my kitchen, they always do things wrong. But I watched him, he was cleaning up as he cooked, he wasn't using metal in my frypans, he had even washed the dishes that were already there.

"What are you doing?" he raised an eyebrow,

"Watching you, what are you doing?"

"You're a creep. I'm cooking breakfast. Someone was talking about how you would be cooking breakfast for everyone in the morning because that's what you do but you looked pretty out of it last night so I wasn't sure what time you would be up,"

"Charlie doesn't eat breakfast," I stated. There was no way this kid would be cooking breakfast for an entire house of hungover people, this had everything to do with Charlie.

"Okay?"

"You don't look like you're going to damage anything," I stated, more to myself than to him.

"Do you want an extra set of hands or are you good?" I offered.

"I'm fine,"

"Okay, don't use metal in my pans and I'll allow you to continue,"

"Don't swear at me,"

"Okay, I'm going to go and wake up your brother," I smirked.

"In a house full of dudes? You really are a weirdo,"

"Like you would turn it down if she offered, and your brothers in this house you sick freak," I stated walking down to my room. Austin had woken up, or more accurately had been woken up by Shire who was currently sitting on Austin's chest getting attention from the cat lover.

"Hey,"

"Hey, can you like, get out, and take Shire with you?"

"Why?"

"Because I want to have sex with Shawn," I stated.

"He's still asleep,"

"Not for long, now out you go, and keep a close eye on him, make sure he doesn't get out,"

"I probably wouldn't be a good idea for us to sleep together again huh?"

"No, but Doobin is cooking breakfast,"

"Okay, We're going, be safe kids," he winked picking Shire up which was weird because he never really let anyone pick him up.

"Get out," I laughed.

[bamby0304]

Starving

Summary: Castiel never thought falling from Heaven would bring him to you. He never thought giving into his desires would change you. He never thought he’d take pleasure in your unwavering and eternal hunger for him… your hunger for only him.

Pairing: Cas x Reader

A/N: Again, thanks go to my Misha/Cas girl, @sculptorofbeginnings, for looking this over!! This is my final submissions for @spnskinnyballs’ challenge. The prompts I picked from her card are Cas and Starving. Also using the square Fallen Cas for my @spnkinkbingo card. Check out Grace from @scentsfromthebunker !!

Link: Ao3

Square Filled: Fallen Cas.

Word Count: 1628

Warnings: Explicit language. Smut. Grace kink. Dry humping. Unprotected sex. Dirty talk.

Bamby

You were starving. Every ounce of you was deprived of what you craved. Your body, mind and soul… it all screamed in agony, in want, in need. You were ravenous.

The mattress you were on was hard. When you rolled to certain spots you could feel the springs underneath. It creaked as you moved, the metal frame whining in protest, begging you to stay still. You did not listen, and you did not care.

Nothing else mattered but the emptiness of your stomach. The hollowness of your soul. The brokenness of your mind. You were falling apart, desperate for one more taste. Without it, you were sure you would die.

Writhing on the bed, wailing in pain and misery, you clutched at what you could grab, pulling, tugging and tearing. Desperation didn’t come close to what you were feeling anymore. Starvation… on the brink of death or insanity… or both. It was a wonder you were still in one piece.

A breeze washed over you, catching your attention as you looked up. The door to the room where you’d thrown yourself, was now open. Standing in the room, tall and as magnificent as ever, was him.

“Castiel,” his name fell from your lips on a relieved breath. “You came.”

“Of course.” He stepped closer, coming to the side of the bed. You leaned into his touch as he brought his hand up to caress your face. “You prayed for me.”

Eyes fluttering closed, you hummed and turned your head into his palm to seek out his scent. “I always pray for you.”

“I’m at war, Y/N,” he reminded you. “I can’t always be here.”

“Do you want to be?” Your eyes slowly opened to meet his gaze. “Do you want to be with me?”

He watched you. He didn’t miss the way you held your breath as you waited. He saw the flicker of hope in your eyes. He could feel your trepidation as you shivered against his touch ever so slightly.

“Of course I want to be with you. I always want to be with you.”

Your lips turned up into a bright smile as you pulled yourself up onto your knees and leaned in. Eyes fluttering closed, fingers curling into his trench coat, you kissed Castiel.

There was nothing like kissing an angel. It always left you feeling so high, so fresh, so pure. White sparks of beautiful bliss coursed through your veins, pulling you into him further. You leaned in until you were flush with his chest, seeking out as much of his as possible.

But before you could dive in and swim in his touch, he pulled back. “You’re shaking,” he noted, looking down at you worriedly.

“Just need you, Castiel.” Your tugged on his coat lightly, trying to entice him closer. “Need it.”

Understanding crossed his blue eyes, and before you knew what was happening you were in his arms.

Castiel walked you over to the dingy beige couch, setting himself down with you in his lap. You moved quickly, shifting to straddle his waist. Nimble fingers tugged on his tie, trying to loosen it enough so you could get to his neck.

He just sat back, hands holding the backs of your thighs as he let you do what you needed. Truth be told, Cas enjoyed this as well. Your ravenous behaviour, your need for him, your desire. He revelled in your lust for his entirety. You’d corrupted the angel as much as he’d corrupted you.

Slipping your hand into his coat, you felt the cool metal of his angel blade hidden inside. Wrapping your fingers around it, you pulled away as you brought the blade out to light. Watching with lidded eyes and parted lips, you dragged the tip along his chest, popping the buttons of his dress shirt open.

Reaching his throat, you teased his Adam’s apple before sliding the blade over a couple of inches… and then you flicked your wrist, slicing into his skin. A white and blue glow spilled from the cut, making you clench and whine needily.

The hiss that slipped from his throat was more pleasured than pained. His head tilted back, giving you better access, and you took it. Leaning in, you ran your tongue along the slit and hummed at the taste of him.

You weren’t just tasting the coppery blood, underneath all that was more. It was cool, and fresh, and made your nerves tingle as you hummed with relief and new hunger. Just one taste and you were melting. You wanted to drown in it… in Cas’ grace.

Smooth and thick, it almost tasty minty. Like a palette cleanser that purified you from the inside out. Everything felt lighter, everything looked brighter. You could smell the Earth, and hear it move. The more you drank the closer you got to touching heaven.

Castiel moaned underneath you, sliding his hands up to squeeze your ass. He pushed you against him, grinding your core into his hard crotch. You complied, thrusting against him, seeking your own pleasure while giving him his.

Drinking greedily, you moaned and groaned, rejoicing in your reprieve. The hell you’d been experiencing before Castiel had come back was now gone. Agony was replaced with a euphoria like no other. Nothing even came close to this feeling… except maybe one thing…

As if he was reading your mind- which you wouldn’t doubt- Castiel pulled you away and threw you onto the couch. You leaned back on your elbows and watched him, licking your lips as he tugged on his tie. Once it was on the floor he moved onto his trench coat and shirt, giving you the glorious view of his chest.

Leaning forward, you ran your hands along his chest, taking in the same lines you’d spent countless hours memorising over the last few months. Cas groaned as you began to lick at his skin, the coolness of it always unexpected. Letting you do what you wanted, he undid his belt and opened his pants, before pulling his cock out.

His hand shoved on your shoulder, pushing you back down onto the scratchy couch. Castiel was right there, claiming your lips with his own as he notched himself between your legs. Reaching between your thighs, he tore your panties, destroying them. Then he was leaning in, pressing the tip of his cock against your warm and slick slit.

Just like how his cool skin made your body shiver with need, your warmth made his muscles ripple with want.

The first thrust was… ecstasy.

You threw your head back as your lips parted on a silent gasp. You fingers curled into the couch as your back arched. Your legs wrapped around his waist as you pulled him in closer.

Castiel leaned in, mouthing at your breasts. His fingers trailed along your skin, leaving a path of goose bumps in his wake. You were helpless to his touch, to his presence, left lapping up whatever he’d give you.

Everything. Cas would give you everything. As long as you would give him this, your warmth and devotion, he would give you everything.

Thrusting into you until he felt the wall to your womb, Castiel groaned. He felt the need to close his eyes as an overwhelming sense of perfection shook through him, but he fought it. He wanted to see you, to watch you fall apart because of him. It was the most beautiful thing he’d seen since the dawn of time.

Resting his elbows in either side of your head, Castiel caged you in. He stared down at you, watching the way you bit your lip and moaned as he began to thrust harder and faster.

He fucked you with a desperation that felt very human. The way he watched you, sought out your pleasure to enhance his own. He craved the feeling of you strangling his cock as you came.

You brought your hand up to cradle his face and ran your thumb along his bottom lip. “Come inside me, Castiel. I want to feel it. Need to feel you inside me, completely. Please,” you begged, almost sobbing with desperation.

The first taste of his grace hadn’t been enough. You needed to feel more of him, all of him. His warm and sticky cum, and its traces of his cool angelic essence.

Groaning, he leaned down to catch your lips with his. You tugged and nipped on his lip, letting instinct take over as you licked into his mouth, tasting all of him.

Something cool but unseen flicked against your clit, sending you into a shuddering and screaming orgasm. Castiel held you close, muffling your cries as he felt your walls clench around his cock. That’s all it took before he spilled inside you, coming until you were overflowing with his seed.

Feeling his cum, his grace, his everything, feeling it inside you… you came again, dragging your nails into his back as you arched into him.

Castiel held you, let you ride out your endings as he came down from his own high. When you were finally able to breath again, and no longer shaking, he pulled out of you and sat back. He watched as you laid there, chest heaving as your eyes rolled back. The smile that split your face was one of complete contentment and bliss.

“Better?”

“Mm-hmm.” You nodded, biting your lip. “Much.”

He knew better though. While you were better, Castiel wasn’t a fool. For now you were satisfied, but soon you would be ravenous for him all over again. Soon you would be hungry for him, the agony and misery would return, and only he would be able to ease it.

You were satiated… but soon you would be starving once more.

Bamby

[johnnysnostril]

Lights Out

Chapter Three

I couldn't believe I was actually crying in front of Junwon. He’d never seen me cry before. 

“Come on.” he said pulling out from the hug and leading me outside. He took me to his car, opening the backseat and watched me climb in- before following behind me. 

This was his way of shielding me from everyone. From stopping me from being embarrassed. He was a protector. It's what he did best. He knew I didn’t like to cry in front of people, so his gesture was greatly appreciated. 

“What happened?” he said softly. I wiped my eyes with the sleeves of my cardigan and looked out the window. “I’m just sick of everyone..” We were both quiet for a moment before he parted his lips to speak. “Even me?”  I breathed a laugh and shook my head as I looked in his direction. “No. not you. You’re the only person that I can tolerate these days.” My comment made him smile a bit. I slid over and rested my head on his shoulder. “I’m just emotionally exhausted.” I mumbled. Junwon rested his head against mine. “I sensed it. That’s why I came to see you. Just to make sure you were okay.”

I really needed Junwon in my life. He was a palette cleanser for me. When Sapphire wasn't here, I could always count on him. Since Sapp started hooking up with Woojae, I honestly felt like my best friend was taken away from me. Maybe that’s why i was giving him such a hard time tonight.

Junwon took my hand and started massaging my palm.

“You need to find some way to relax, Hazel. Get all that bad energy out.” he whispered. I shut my eyes and softly nodded my head. “I know..” 

We were quiet again. Junwon kneaded my palm deeply with his thumb and I breathed slowly. Suddenly, there was a knock on the window. It was Zoey, with the boxes of food and my purse. Junwon chuckled and opened the door for her.

“I was looking everywhere for you. I thought someone kidnapped you!” she screamed. “What are you guys doing!” Zoey said stomping her foot. “You nasty pervs!” 

I laughed at her comment and lifted my head off Junwon’s shoulder. 

“We were just talking Zoey.” I said as I climbed out of the car. As I walked up to her, I grabbed my belonging and fished for the keys in my purse. “Mhm. You better not be trynna get freaky with my sister!” Zoey narrowed her eyes at Junwon as he got out of the car and shut the door. “Zoey!” I shouted. “Shut up and get in the car.” I threw the keys at her and she stuck her tongue out at me before running off to the car and jumping in the driver's seat. I rolled my eyes and turned to Junwon. “She’s so annoying, I swear. I’m sorry.” I exclaimed. He shook his head and smiled. “You don't have to apologize. Are you gunna be okay?” he said tilting his head and slipping his hands in his pockets.

I nodded and looked down at my shoes. “I’ll be fine..” I mumbled. “See you tomorrow?”  Looking back up at Junwon, my stomach caught these weird butterflies. I shut my eyes and cleared my throat. “Get home safe.” I said patting his chest, then walking to my car.

The next morning

`beep.beep.beep`

I groaned and smacked the top of my alarm clock. As I rolled out of bed, I shuffled off to the bathroom- where Zoey was. I could hear her music with the running shower in the background, through the door as I knocked. As she shouted for me to come in, I slipped through the door and went straight to the toilet. 

I yawned and rubbed my eyes. This school thing was really starting to get annoying and this was only the second day.

“I’m gunna stay after school today to try out for the volleyball team, so don't wait up for me. Zoey said as she stuck her head out of the curtains. 

“Oh, okay. Well, good luck. Let me know how it goes.” I mumbled. As I finished going to the bathroom, I washed my hands- brushed my teeth and face then went straight to my room to get dressed.

Hazel’s Outfit:

Pulling up to the school, i seen Junwon waiting at the front door. He was on his phone, smiling down at something. As I climbed out of the car, I wondered what it was. 

“Hey!” I said as I approached him. Junwon looked up from his device, quickly locking it and pushing it into his pocket. “Oh hey.” he said as he opened his arms from a hug. I hugged him quickly then we both started to walk inside. “What were you smiling at? You looked really happy just now.” I laughed. He shook his head. “Just some stupid meme.” he said brushing off the question. “How was your night?” 

I shrugged and adjusted my bag on my shoulder. “Okay, i guess. Wish i was still in bed.” I said being honest. He agreed. As we continued to walk, something felt really weird in the air. He just seemed a little off. “Are you okay?” I asked. Junwon nodded and gave a quick smile. “Yeah, I'll meet up with you later though- okay?” He gave me a quick side hug then jogged off towards a group of guys that were waiting for him. 

I furrowed my brows and watched him run off.

That was weird.

Walking into my first period, i sat towards the back and pulled out my notebooks- getting myself ready for class.

As the desks started to fill with students, the teacher stood to her feet and smiled at everyone. “Good morning class.” she sang. “We have a new student. Please make her feel welcome- since everyone here is new to each other, as well.” she said handing over a paper to the new student. I couldn't see her face, since she was sitting in the front row with her back turned to me. I shrugged it off as class began.

`at lunch

Waiting for Sapp, i sat at the top of the stairs with my knees pushed into my chest. She was never late meeting me for anything. Today was such a weird day, and I felt like crying. I needed my best friend. I tried texting Junwon throughout the day, but he never replied back to any of my messages.

“Hi babes.” Sapphire said as she took a seat next to me.

Sapphire’s Outfit:

I reached over and hugged her gently. “Oh no. what’s wrong?” she asked quickly. I reached for my phone in my back pocket and pulled up Bryan’s instagram page. I rolled my eyes as I handed the device to her.

“What the hell!” she shouted. She clicked on the comments and read through Jasmine’s conversation with Bryan. “Have you read this crap?” she asked looking over at me. I shook my head. “I don't even wanna know what it says.” I admitted. “He’s definitely asking for someone to kick his ass, Haze. I can have some people take care of this for you.” she announced angrily as she handed my phone back. I laughed at her comment. “I always knew you were in the mafia.” 

I stood up, shoving my phone back into my pocket and walked towards the library- opening the doors and walking in. Sapphire followed me as I made my way to the bookcases, searching for a book. 

“Seriously, Hazel. I could have a few guys take care of him.” She whispered. I ignored her comment. “Do you think mermaids really exist?” I asked as I picked up a random book about sea creatures. Sapphire groaned and snatched the book out of my hand, throwing it back on the shelf. “Why are you acting like you’re okay with this? That conversation wasn’t friendly, and-” 

“I don’t wanna know, Sapphire. I just don't..” I said covering my ears. She rolled her eyes. “Do you not understand that this can be your way out?!” Her voice was getting louder and students in the library were becoming frustrated. A girl sitting at the table closest to us, made a “shh” noise and Sapphire mean-mugged her. “You shhh.” she whispered back.

I shook my head and walked towards the back of the library, where the computers were and she followed behind me.

Sapphire was definitely right, but to be honest- i had never broken up with anyone before. Bryan was my first real relationship and he was basically all I knew. I sighed as I crossed my arms and looked at her. “I’m fine by the way, thanks for asking.” Sapphire was quiet for a moment then she wrapped her arms around me. “I’m sorry. I’m just trying to look out for you, Hazel. I know your love runs deep, but you’re being so blind right now.” She said.

I swallowed the lump in my throat as she spoke. I knew I was being difficult, but I just didn't know what to do. So, I acted like I didn't care on the outside.

Just then, my phone went off. I quickly pulled out of the hug and snatched it from my pocket. Bryan had just uploaded a photo, which was weird because he should've been in class. “What?” Sapphire whispered. She could tell I was worried about something. I pulled up his picture and my eyes nearly popped out of my head. My body froze and I think I stopped breathing for a moment. 

“What’s wrong, Hazel. You're scaring me.” Sapphire whispered. She took the device from my hands and glanced down at the screen. I didn't move. My hands were stuck in the position they were in, when my phone was in between them. “How..” I questioned. “She goes to this school?!” Sapphire yelled. The lady behind the counter stood up, made her way over to us and asked us to leave. Sapphire rolled her eyes and took my hand, leading me back to the stairs.

“Haze, you have to break up with him now. This is not okay.”  I think Sapphire was more upset than I was. I was just hurt. How could Jasmine be at this school? Better yet, why was she here?

“How..” I asked again. She smacked her lips and folded her arms across her chest. “Just say, I’m breaking up with you. Then walk away. Easy.” I shook my head at her answer. “How is she here? Last I heard, she lived in Cali.” I mumbled looking out towards the cafeteria. My body was confused. I wasn't sure on how to react to this situation. I just think my emotions were numb now.

Suddenly, the bell rang. I looked up towards the ceiling and furrowed my brows. Sapphire signed and took my hand, walking me down the stairs. “Which class do you have next?” she asked. I shook my head. “The rest of my day is open periods.” I mumbled. As we reached the bottom of the stairs, she handed me my phone back then gave me a tight hug. “Don’t you dare go home and cry, either. He’s a jerk, and you don't need to waste your energy on someone like that. I’ll come over after school and keep you company, okay?” Sapphire kissed my cheek then smiled. “Love you. Let me know when you’re home.” Flashing her a fake smile, I waved and watched her run off to her next class.

[baronsbookshelf]

Arsene Lupine; A Gentleman Thief by Maurice LeBlanc

I recently read something online; "There are two types of books in the world; those you have to force yourself to read and those you have to force yourself to stop reading." If anyone knows who said this please direct me because I need to thank them because that quote helped me realise that a book you force yourself to read is not necessarily a bad book and that is exactly my feelings on Maurice LeBlanc’s answer to Sherlock Holmes; the master thief, gentleman and anti-hero Arsene Lupine and that is not a bad thing.

I got into Arsene Lupine thanks to the game Persona 5 and that game did its source material proud! A film, game or TV show should make you want to read the book, the way the author intended it to be received with none of the elements removed, enhanced or watered down for the different medium. This is where things like Persona, The Witcher and the Hobbit stand out while Game of Thrones, Harry Potter and The Wolf Among Us wallow in a pit of ratings and fan pandering.

I will always be the first to stand up and say I dislike short stories even if I enjoy the story written or the author themselves and it's quite simple why; a short story makes me want more but a good short story has an ending not a cliff hanger and Maurice LeBlanc like Arthur Conan Doyle before him and H.P. Lovecraft after all suffer from this issue and when you slam all those stories together in one novel where each short story is a chapter creates a very strange feeling and it's difficult to get past it.

A chapter is not a short story, a chapter builds to a crescendo for the next chapter to leap off while giving the reader a nice break point to get a drink or sleep or save a life at the hospital. Just me? Okay.

A short story can't be transposed to a chapter and treated as such and it's what made reading Arsene Lupine so difficult; the stories were fantastically written, funny and clever and I never felt stupid unlike when reading Sherlock Holmes and the characters were interesting, structured and intriguing and I wanted to read more!

Except I didn't.

Because each story was so complete and so perfect as it was even though it was leading to a larger story it felt more like a break between novels, a palette cleanser, something short to read while you mull in the miasma of the last thing you read and prepare yourself for the onslaught of the next thing to read.

Now please do not take that as a negative review! It's what the story was originally written for after all. You see like H.P. Lovecraft, my other favourite for short stories, and Arthur Conan Doyle, LeBlanc originally published each story weekly in his local newspaper and then the national before garnering international following after his short disagreement with Arthur Conan Doyle (an event worthy of an afternoons read with some hot tea for the Victorian shade throwing that went on). So although there is a larger plot going on each story is self-contained and I found it difficult to start the next one after reading the last whereas in a books that was intended to have chapters I would simply ignore the headings and carry right on through.

So that is actually my review; story fantastic, concept brilliant and reception; exactly as the author intended. After all if he had intended it to be read in one go then surely he'd have edited them into a novel not a compilation.

I heartily recommend if you are the kind of person that can read an omnibus in one sitting and see the connection between The Yellow Mask and The Red Stripe from one reading but to everyone else, read each story when you feel like, maybe space it between other readings or on a short haul flight.

Time to read: 1-2 hours (each part)

Reread chance: Medium – But I will continue reading and review each part as I read them

Score: 7/10

Amazon: Arsene Lupine; A Gentleman Thief Paperback £9.99 Kindle £3.99

[lansdellicious]

Experiencing Raymonds

Given the relatively small population of St. John’s and environs (just over a quarter million people, give or take), we have a lot of restaurants. What we don’t have in abundance is fine dining; in fact, Raymonds might be the only one in the province. Despite having eaten at a lot of restaurants over the last few years, we have avoided Raymonds for a few reasons: it’s far from cheap, the menu is not published in advance, and it can be hard to get a table there. I had precisely zero experience with a tasting menu before the night, and I was slightly concerned that multiple dishes would be something I didn’t like. As you may know if you’ve read any of my reviews here before, I have been trying to expand my tastes somewhat. A recent promotion at work gave us the excuse we needed to celebrate, so we bit the bullet and booked the table. We had no idea what was waiting for us.

A caveat: Raymonds is not for everyone. While the staff are incredibly accommodating and patient in explaining the menu options and ingredients, the choices are relatively set. There’s a five- and seven-course tasting menu, and a three-course menu that is somewhat à la carte. If one of the courses is something you just can’t eat they will try to make a substitution, but ultimately it’s down to the chef. The price is also high: the five-course menu is $125 per person, with an additional $80 if you go with the wine pairings (selected by the in-house sommelier and manager Jeremy Bonia). Not an everyday outing, that’s for sure. 

We went for the five-course option, which actually ended up being more like eight courses by the time all the extras were provided. As adventurous as I wanted to get, I couldn’t stretch to trying scallops so we were able to substitute them for a beef option (more on that soon). We opted against the wine pairings this time, though I think when we go back we’ll take that plunge too. 

You can tell a meal is going to be something special when the bread and butter they bring you to open the palate is better than most appetizers you’ve had, ever. House-made sourdough would have been great on its own, but it was served with whipped house-made smoked butter. I had never before had smoked butter, and now I am ruined forever. All future butter will either be smoked or inferior. I could have eaten it with a spoon.

This was somehow the beet dish, a beet and apple salad with ricotta, toasted red fife, and a topping of both beet and apple “glass” and some sort of hardened foam that melted in your mouth. I really don’t know how to describe this, except for “total tongue assault”. The combination of flavours and textures made every part of the palate sing. The apples were tart and crisp, the beets had their characteristic sweetness but were also pickled, the ricotta was exceedingly light and creamy, and the red fife gave a nutty undertone. The “glass” on the top was made from the juices of the apples and beets used in the dish, somehow turned solid and wafer-thin. If you can picture the thin film of ice that forms on puddles just as the temperature drops below freezing, that’s the texture. The flavour was intense with a subtle smoky, almost ashy taste that worked so well with everything else. The bread-looking stuff on the top was the foam that served almost as a tuile, and added a really light and airy crisp. When the waiter explained the dish as if he himself had conceived of it, I knew this was going to be unlike any meal I had ever had. 

On to the pasta course, a moose ragout on orrechiette with more ricotta and finely-diced carrot, topped with a toasted breadcrumb. In the 20 years I have lived in Newfoundland, I have had so many people tell me that I would love moose. So I dutifully try it and dislike it, until the next person tells me that nobody else knows how to cook it and I should try it the way they cook it. Lather, rinse, repeat. 

Now I can legitimately say that nobody else knows how to cook moose. This was tender almost to melting point, with a hint of the earthiness that had been overpowering and off-putting to me before. The ricotta here was of a different texture and flavour than in the previous dish, and it gave an excellent additional dimension to the dish. The pasta was pleasantly al dente, and the whole dish felt like a warm hug from the inside. High-end comfort food if you will. Although I did really enjoy this, I didn’t get the intensity of flavour from the ragout that I expected. It needed a bit more punch and depth I think. Sarah loved it more than me, but I still really enjoyed it. 

Left to my own devices I would not normally order ribeye this rare. It was served in a veal and chanterelle jus (not the last time we will see chanterelles tonight) with a parsnip puree and charred broccoli and leeks. I just...I have no words. If you watch any cooking shows you have heard the term caramelization, but I never really fathomed how important it was until I ate this. No fancy seasonings, no special sauces, just a depth of beefy salty flavour that seemed so wonderfully natural. The jus added even more depth to the meat, and almost seemed to bridge the gap between the beef and the vegetables. The parsnip puree was perfectly smooth and slightly sweet, and the charred leeks in particular were beautifully done. “Meat and two veg” might be a British cliché for Sunday dinner, but this was that old chestnut rehashed and mastered. 

Lamb three ways was up next: loin on the left, tenderloin on the right and lamb belly underneath. The loin was a touch disappointing and lacking in flavour, although the tenderloin made up for it. Both cuts were greatly enhanced by (yet-again) perfect caramelization. Sarah loves lamb and enjoyed hers much more, but her loin looked less fatty than mine so that may have been the difference. 

I had not even heard of lamb belly before (as a meal, obviously I know lambs had bellies...), and it was an interesting offering. Definitely less fatty than the more common pork belly, but with a flavour that was actually pronounced. It was glazed with a black apple glaze and garnished with unripe blackcurrants, but the flavour on the glaze was either too subtle for me or just didn’t come through. I don’t remember what the jus was but it was delicious. On the side we had more parsnip puree and sliced celeriac. I’ve seen celeriac in supermarkets before and it did not look appealing, but the flavour was like parsnip with a hint of celery. Probably because it is related to them both. 

Next up we had a “pre-dessert” as our waiter Julian called it - blueberries poached in brown butter with a chanterelle and blueberry pound cake, chanterelle meringue (!!) and chanterelle ice cream (!!!). Again, something I would never in a million years ordered on its own. Who’d even think of chanterelle ice cream? That said, this was a surprisingly good a refreshing amuse-bouche before the dessert. I am not normally a fan of blueberries, but they were good here with the brown butter. Pound cake is almost always delightful, and the addition of chanterelles almost seemed to lighten the usually dense cake. The real treats though were the meringue and ice cream. Sarah isn’t a big meringue fan but even she really enjoyed the lightness of it, and the ice cream had such a clean and subtle flavour that I finally understand the term “palette cleanser.” A bonus course, you say? Don’t mind if I do!

It’s not often I have to google an ingredient, but I had never heard of sea buckthorn before. One of the things mentioned in the description was that its flavour is enhance by something called maltolactic fermentation. Lactic, as in milk? Well that’s helpful. It was served as a curd, topped with a streusel and milk sorbet. The flavour is very hard to quantify: it reminded me of passion fruit, sour orange, mango and bakeapple all at the same time. The milk sorbet did wonders to mellow the tartness of the berries, which Sarah found stronger than I did. Definitely a unique flavour, but one I really want to work into a cheesecake somehow. To cap the meal off (in addition to our coffees), a lemon verbeena salted caramel was served, A delightful little treat to send us home.

Aside from how much I enjoyed everything, I think the biggest surprise to me was that despite the small serving sizes I was pleasantly full at the end of the meal. The service was impeccably friendly and helpful, not at all snobby as once could be forgiven for thinking. The decor really is reminiscent of every high-end restaurant you’ve seen on TV, complete with waiters with one arm in the small of their back. If you have an occasion to celebrate and/or the income to manage it, you owe it to yourself to visit Raymonds, It is not a meal you eat so much as it is a food experience, and I am a more rounded person for having done so.

Now to plan the return trip...

[doomedandstoned]

Doom Around The World!

~By Billy Goat~

More? Your ears are hungry for more doom? Well doom I have, my beloved Doomers & Stoners. Here is a carefully curated menu of downtuned delectables from around the globe that will keep your stereo running hot and your internal organs rumbling from righteous riffs and reverberating rhythms. Enough preamble! It's time...to...DOOM!

☿

Angola

Depois da Meia Noite by Kishi

Well this is a definite first for me: doom from the Republic of Angola, which for the geographically challenged is lodged on Africa's West Coast. Doom coming straight from the African continent intrigues me. Maybe it's because it's home to so much of human history, not to mention an enduring fascination with its wildlife and unforgiving terrain that goes back to childhood. That said, stoner-doom must still be judged on the merits, so how does KISHI measure?

Well, I'm happy to say that Angola's "first stoner rock line-up" is as gritty and down to earth as you could hope for. For the first time in a review, I want to use the word idiosyncratic, too. "Song themes pass between Angolan urban legends and existential reflections," the band writes. Legends? I love legends! Kishi add that Depois da Meia Noite also explores our hedonistic tendencies, presenting a perspective on humans as "incomplete and complex," so you've got some depth to the writing there, too.

Of course, you'll need to brush up on your Portuguese to take in the message, for at least a few of the tracks, but that adds to the charm for me -- and it sure didn't stop me from banging my head! I mean, how can you resist the idea of "getting stoned with Death"? For fans of Prong and Sepultura, as well as the sludgier side of stoner-doom. Don't miss the fan video for the doomiest number on the record about the goddess of the sea, "Kianda."

Brazil

Commanded By Cosmic Forces by Son of a witch

The doom metal scene, however much it is criticized for its long marriage to witches and wizards, will always find an enduring fascination with the dark world of fantasy and the mysteries of the occult. SON OF A WITCH have at least been at it longer than some, now nearing their 12th year together, with feet planted firmly in the Black Sabbath school. Maintaining that gloomy vibe up in a place that looks like paradise (Natal, right there on the tip of Brazil, facing out into the South Atlantic waters) is in and of itself a feat worthy of respect.

The fierce, soaring vocals of Nelson Macedo are still a highlight, uniting an absolutely tight team of two incredibly capable guitarists, a bassist that looms larger than life, and a commanding drummer. If you count 2016's Thrones In The Sky among your favs, 'Commanded By Cosmic Forces' (2019) will absolutely do it for your doom fix. Don't miss the last minute-and-a-half of "Dry Leaves."

Bulgaria

Dementify II by Dementify

Even though I'm a pianist, I've always had a problem with hearing piano in my doom, unless used as a harsh, percussive instrument, all Bela Bartok style. One band may be helping to change my mind: Sofia's atmospheric collective, DEMENTIFY. I can see the appeal of the piano in this death-doom hybrid, not so much for its beauty as for how it enhances -- at times, even carries -- the narrative. In other words, there's a story-telling quality to my beloved instrument, even if the keyboard is utilized in the most fundamental (read: effective) of ways.

Canada

Sublunar Express by Sublunar Express

As this is both Doomed and Stoned, it's only fitting we look at a band that does a fantastic job of incorporating these nuances within the framework of '80s-style krautrock and shoegaze. Influenced by Mogwai and Ween, SUBLUNAR EXPRESS is a kind of perpetual motion locomotive of the psychedelic deep sea.

"The moonlight reveals a train that travels only in the darkness," writes the band in reference to the five tracks before us. "Simultaneously moving through endless space and bottomless depths, the sound of a thunderous engine disturbs the chilling solitude, and the strange creatures once lurking in obscurity." The juxtaposition of light and darkness is masterfully illustrated by Joan Llopis Doménech. A great palette cleanser in between puffs of Electric Wizard and Sleep, and a chill spin overall.

China

Old Time Revival by Ramblin' Roze

Trade wars may be at their height, but one thing China is exporting well is stoner rock. You heard me right. The ripple of the heavy underground is not dissuaded by tariffs or tough talk. It's time to rock with smooth and sassy Beijing band RAMBLIN' ROZE.

"What we want to express is very simple," the band says, "Recall the very moment when rock n' roll was sending the first shiver down your spine." A track like "Down By The River" (or my fav "Marlboro & Cherrystone") will definitely do the trick.

France

MELT by Melt

Don't let the gentle strumming and '90s alt rock beat of "Cypher" put you off your guard. This song and the band's self-titled debut reveal a fiery heart that can singe yours if you get too close. Yet here I am, like moth to flame, unable to resist Toulouse's MELT, a band "rooted in the power of metal and inspired by the tenderness and melancholia of the soul." This allure in no small part to the raw emotion of singer Shiro who can really bring the pain and tug on those heartstrings.

Germany

Teeth Fletcher by 100000 Tonnen Kruppstahl

Berlin's 100000 TONNEN KRUPPSTAHL are back and if you didn't know they'd been away to begin with, it's time you got acquainted with their back catalog, but not before you dive into this impressive monolith doom. It's themes develop and loop, not unlike the characteristic compositional style of Sleep's seminal masterwork. Impressive for a band that used to be all about one-to-three-minute gore-violence ditties.

If there's any comparison to be made with Dopesmoker, it's that this is the second caravan that followed a mirage that led straight to the Sarlac's gullet, where they are now screaming in agonizing pain (listen for it in the first movement). Trust me, all this is a good thing, for I am the Sarlac and relished every moment of this savage morsel (though I did break a few teeth on that tough Krupp steel)!

Singapore

Unstructured Dissemination by O n s e t

Atmospheric doom duo ӨПƧΣƬ was formed by Mirai "Calvin" Kawashima on guitars and darkwave prodigy Shamtos (aka Microchip Terror) on synth, bass, and drums. The band told me they "were craving to create music that had a more crawling tempo," finding that "ringed-out, sustained chords on the guitar have a very satisfying rumble."

Unstructured Dissemination, their debut EP on the Weird Truth Productions label explores themes of disease and human suffering, the two-piece sharing a particular fascination for the Black Death. If you dig the vibe, keep your antenna tuned to ӨПƧΣƬ for the release of their first long-play, coming later this year. "Perhaps some people think that playing slow music is ‘easy and boring’ to play," ӨПƧΣƬ adds, "but that’s completely untrue. It requires the same amount of focus and concentration. In fact, we’re always pretty exhausted after a rehearsal session."

South Africa

Return to Worm Mountain by Return to Worm Mountain

From Duncan Park, the mind behind South Africa's Demons from the Dungeon Dimension (which kicked off my whole fascination with the scene there, culminating in our compilation Doomed & Stoned in South Africa ), comes RETURN TO WORM MOUNTAIN.

Duncan, now collaborating with drummer Cam Lofstrand (he of Durban band Black Math), refers to the new project as "a more experimental, psychedelic, garage rock type of band." There's some punk in there, I hasten to add, and a little bit of synthwave and shoegaze. Like he said: "experimental." The music captures the trippy vibe and the Dr. Seuss ambiance of Cam Lofstrand's album art quite well. A record equally fun as it is fascinating.

[gffa]

Scattered Star Wars novels thoughts: - I am almost finished with the Solo novelization, has anyone else read/finished it?  It’s been doing a couple of weird things that I’m not sure if it’s meant to be picked up on or if they’re just there to be Something Cool and I’m reading too much into things.  (I’m up to just past the Kessel Run/they just got to Savareen.) - I’m taking a break from the Aftermath series, because I finished Life Debt and enjoyed it a lot, but I wanted a bit of a palette cleanser before diving back in, so it doesn’t all blur together in a rush for me.  Because I never really got a chance to let my feelings for a lot of the stuff that happened there breathe--so AFTERMATH SPOILERS for the entire book. It’s easy to focus on the bigger political stuff because I have more investment in Leia’s story, but I wanted to talk more about Rae, who did finally give me an answer about, “How can she be a good person and still be loyal to the Empire, knowing the terrible things they do?”

(Aftermath: Life Debt | by Chuck Wendig) “It may have been necessary for a time.” is basically her answer.  And I’m not sure how I feel about it.  Do I feel like it’s a bandaid on a meta level, that it’s a half-measure on the part of the writing of the book or a half-measure on Sloane’s behalf?  I don’t have enough of reading her from other sources to be able to tell how well this fits with “this is the best justification the writing can do on this issue” VERSUS “yeah, Sloane’s kind of a terrible person”, I could better buy, “It was an ugly part of the perfect Empire in her head, not something she could do anything about right now, but it was always in her sights to make the Empire better than that.” and buy that she was a good person.  Is that what I’m supposed to be taking away from this?  Or am I supposed to be taking away that slavery was genuinely necessary in her eyes, that she believed it was necessary to enslave the Wookiees (even though they presented no real threat to the Empire), that it was necessary to enslave the Twi’leks (even though they presented no real threat to the Empire).  Because those are two different things!  As well as it’s very different if she’s working towards having the power to actually create that better Empire, keeping it in her sights, VERSUS “well this, is more convenient and it’s necessary right now”. Like, I’m not sure I understand why Sloane feels the Empire--who actively fucks over a lot of worlds and leaves them poor, just like she grew up, it doesn’t actually do anything to help them any more than the Republic did, does even LESS than the Republic did--is so great.  I get the idea that some of these poor people felt incredibly disenfranchised by the Republic (also like Ciena Ree) and so they believe in the Empire--but why does someone keep believing in it, when it’s failing EVEN MORE than the Republic did? But I guess that’s a question I could ask a lot of real life political views and I probably wouldn’t understand the answer any better. - OKAY, BUT ABOUT THE AFTERMATH CREW.  I really enjoyed Sinjir’s story a lot, his struggle between this bad person that he was versus this good person he wants to be, that they need his torture skills to get answers out of someone to help more people, but it makes him feel horrible even when doing it for a good cause.  OH SINJIR I REALLY FELL FOR HIM.  Because he cares about his friends, so he does terrible things for them, hurts people because they hurt his friends, and yet he really does want to be better than this.  I AM A SUCKER FOR THIS KIND OF STORY. I also appreciated his conversations with Temmin, that it’s not quite a close relationship or anything, but it was nice to see that Temmin had someone to give him some direct, honest advice. - I DID NOT EXPECT BRENTIN WEXLEY TO BE ALIVE.  Nor did I expect the sheer amount shit hitting the fan at the New Republic meeting, that I figured something probably happened to those prisoners, but I wasn’t expecting that.  To have brainwashed them into being unwilling sleeper agents, to try to assassinate Mon Mothma and a bunch of the people at the rally, to have Leia feel such complicated feelings for not being there, for Rax to have pinned this all on Rae, for Brentin to take Rae hostage so they could get to the end of this, to have them heading to Jakku, SO MANY INTERESTING THINGS AND AN EXCELLENT CLIFFHANGER. I do wonder if it’s going to ultimately be a coincidence that Rey was on Jakku or if someday they’ll tie it in to all the stuff that’s happening here.  So far, all the other stuff ties together--there’s something on Jakku that Palpatine was interested in, Rax was from there and so he’s connected to it, that’s where the last remnants of the Empire head because of Rax, so the last battle is there and all those Star Destroyers are the ones that Rey is scavenging, but is that just coincidence or something that will tie in directly to why she was left there? - I’m two and a half hours into Maul: Lockdown’s audiobook and OH MY GOD I cannot take this book seriously at all.  There was that post I saw going around the other day, about how a steady stream of angst numbs the reader to what’s going on, that our mental eyes adjust to the darkness, so instead we need moments of happiness and good times to make the angst actually felt.  This is a book that could REALLY have used that lesson--not just in angst, but in the grimdark violence of it. I shouldn’t be sitting here, listening to a book, while Maul fights a Wampa and literally tears its heart out of its chest and he “crushes it like a flower blossom” and be kind of laughing about it.  I shouldn’t be sitting here listening to a book where the other prisoners that are in there with him are killing someone and ripping the body apart to pull out the bones to fashion them into weapons, and rolling my eyes at it. It’s just a constant stream of Maul and violence so far, he’s not even allowed to use the Force because it would give away his undercover mission!  The only other recognizable character is Palpatine who is only mentioned, doesn’t actually appear so far. So, the book isn’t bad, it’d be an interesting read if you were REALLY into Maul as a violent, badass character.  I’m fine with listening to it as an audiobook while I work on gifs or play Farmville!  But I haven’t yet felt the need to quote any part of it, nor am I particularly invested in whatever Maul’s doing here.  (But, then, I’m not the world’s biggest Maul fan.  A little of that guy goes a LONG way for me.)

[orkesmiro1987-blog]

Well besides the facepalm stuff like the PayPal account, I feel like he directed the palette to beginners with makeup with essential colors, but this is waaay too expensive for beginners so that was in my opinion a miss. And it doesn really work for someone who has a lot of makeup because there is a big chance that they have most of the colors. Overall I am not surprised at all if this was the price in the beginning it would have been more successful.. Premise: A documentary style show with an in depth look at specific skincare ingredients (acids, retinoids, vitamin C, etc.), skincare products (sunscreens, moisturizers, otc acne treatments, cleansers, etc.), and skin conditions (acne, rosacea, eczema, psoriasis, skin cancer, etc.). Each episode would be either an analysis of a specific ingredient/product group or a specific skin condition. Episodes would include interviews with dermatologists and interviews people who live with the skin condition an episode is focusing on. The two are not mutually exclusive? The lady could have avoided asking those women and then went to ask another woman not in the break room. You asking why she 영주출장안마 didn ask the other women, and I saying she might have issues with them, and then she looked for the next person to help, which yes, between asking a woman, who might fail at lifting it and then 영주출장안마 have to go bother another person, versus asking a guy who has a higher probability of being able to lift it, decided to go to a guy. I not arguing against why she went to a guy. So, I didn get my hopes up, and certainly did not start packing up an entire house of stuff.Our last court date was July 5. His lawyer had him convinced that he was going to jail for non payment of chid support (to the tune of several thousand dollars, because he never paid a penny the court ordered him to), so he caved on letting us move. (There was also in the divorce agreement that he got summers and holidays with them, which he NEVER took advantage of. I don't think you really understand the big picture here. Clearly there is a demand issue, otherwise they wouldn't be releasing the 35k version yet. It doesn't look good for a company to switch over to lower trim models, especially given the time frame from LR >STD range. So a mist is a good idea for me. I really have been loving Etude House Ion Water cwateryt hydrating serum mist. The spray is ultrafine amazingly fine so it doesn mess up makeup or sunscreen and it has an oil layer that you shake into the more water layer so it very moisturizing as well as hydrating. You can leave the Jeep at home before you head out for Kobuk Valley National Park in Alaska. There are no roads to this park in the virtually deserted north central part of the state. Instead, you'll need a bush plane pilot to get you to the sprawling sand dunes and caribou migration areas. The shocked employee would usually stagger backward and run for the nearest manager but Larry would book it out of there by the time security showed up. This happened three separate times until Larry flashed the one straight male employee that worked in that department and got a fist to the jaw. The cops were summoned at that was the last we heard of old Larry.. Just keep your wits about you. Don go down dark streets at night, that sort of thing. Southern Mexico isn dangerous, full stop (I am currently living in Playa del Carmen and have been all over Mexico). If you have the ability, invest in a grain mill and fine tune it to your brewing practices. I read a great article Kai posted on his website some years ago about grain conditioning before you mill. I began using that practice and that has helped contribute to my high efficiency.