#part 3 truly has outdone itself

[piperslovebot]

jeia in every episode - all apologies

[galebrainrot2024]

GalexYou Dinner Party Pt. 4

Summary: The party is all here! Gale draws up the teams for a game, pure fluff and banter ahead. Thank you @thebitchycloudpainter for the idea! :) I... will likely make a Part 5 as I got carried away and we didn't actually get to the game yet. Everyone (the characters) has a lot to say and I want to include as many as I can, as well as I can. Enjoy!

Part 3 | Master List | Read on Ao3

Once the rest of your companions arrived, your home was abuzz with rancorous laughter, joy, and story-telling as Gale flitted between meal-prep and hosting duties. You loved seeing him this way - bursting at the seems with excitement and pride, his cheeks lightly flushed from the heat of so many bodies in close proximity and the warmth of the wine kissing them. He looked so alive, and you felt yourself come undone as you watched him. 

Gale cleared his throat and held up a hand and to your surprise, everyone settled into a hushed silence. He held the rapt attention of the room, the collective breath bated in pause. “Esteemed and honored guests,” Gale said, smirking and bowing at the waist, his playfulness revealing itself in the buzz of wine, “Dinner is served.” 

As everyone took their seats around the table, Karlach rubbed her hands together and licked her lips. “Oh, you know I am always ready for a good meal. This looks great, Gale.” 

“Compliments to the chef,” Wyll said, raising a glass and the rest followed suit. “To vanquished foes and boundless friendship - may there be more laughter and shared merriment to come.” 

“Here, here!” Minsc slammed his fists on the table, the sound of glass shaking and wobbling made your eyes widen and he grimaced sheepishly as Jaheira rolled her eyes and covered her face as if to indicate ‘I can’t bring him anywhere.’ 

Astarion, surprisingly offered up a rare compliment: “My Gale, you’ve outdone yourself… you’re rather lucky, you know,” he said, shooting a look at you and grinned. “Gale has an exceptionally refined palate.” You felt a blush creep across your cheeks and you smiled, glancing up at Gale who returned your adoration ten fold. 

Shadowheart nodded enthusiastically, “Honestly if it weren’t for you, I would have tried to seduce the wizard myself.” 

Gale blushed furiously, embarrassed by the collective praise and you laughed, posting your fork towards her. “There’s still time.” 

** 

When everyone was sated and the wine flowed freely in the lounge, Gale clapped his hands together as you cleared the table and watched him address everyone. “Alright, now, this would not be a proper dinner party if we didn’t force you into some amusements.” 

Shadowheart and Astarion groaned, rolling their eyes and Karlach punched Astarion playfully in the arm. “OUCH!” 

“Be serious,” Karlach laughed, shaking her head. “You just don’t want to lose.” 

“How do you know it’s a game?” Astarion rose a brow, swinging his leg over the other to cross it and rested his arms behind his head. 

“Ah! Well,” Gale interjected, pointing to Astarion, “What better way to commemorate our time together than some good, old fashioned games eh?” 

Karlach and Wyll whooped, Minsc shook Jaheira by her shoulders with anticipation. “Truly? A game? Minsc has not played games since his time as a boy in Rashemen! The suspense is too much, tell us Wizard what will we play!” 

Gale grinned, “My suggestion is a classic, a game that will test our performance skills and abilities,” there was a little squeal of delight from Shadowheart, “Charades.” 

Astarion rolled his eyes and groaned, rubbing his temples with his fingertips. “Gale, you can’t be serious.” 

“I am rather serious,” Gale shot him a cheeky, lopsided grin, the flush of the wine taking over. “And, I’d wager your reaction is due to you not wanting to be crucified in front of your friends.” 

Your brows shot up and there was a collective, jesting ‘oooo’ from the companions. Wyll leaned forward in his seat, tapping Astarion on the knee, “Don’t worry Astarion, I’ll be your teammate.” Wyll pointed two fingers to Gale and then at his eyes, “You’re on, wizard.” 

“Magical,” Gale turned to you and winked, the air sparking with serendipity and infectious joy. Your heart and mind had never felt lighter than when you were among your friends and lover, having the privilege to be able to watch Gale in his full splendor. You felt your eyes begin to mist, recognizing this is a moment that almost wasn’t many times. Had you not been clever or strong enough to pull him from the portal, had you not insisted they find another way to destroy the absolute and dissuaded him from the crown… how many different times did you nearly lose the man who stood before you now, beaming and bursting at the seams with electrifying exuberance. 

“My love?” Gale said again, his smile soft and warm. You must have zoned out and shook your head, returning his grin. 

“Yes?” 

“How do you think we should arrange the teams? Two teams?” He froze for a moment, a few different expressions flashing across his face before he tilted his head and twisted his wrist upside-down, holding it to the side before bending to point at you. “Three teams?” He flashed his brows up, grinning. “What do you say?” 

You couldn’t help but to bite your lip and smile. He was infectious. “Let’s say three teams.” 

“Delightful. Random?” He gestured around the room, seeing if anyone had strong opinions one way or another. Everyone seemed to look around and shrug in collective agreement. Gale smiled, twisting his finger in the air. “Random it is then. Astarion, would you be so kind and pass me that parchment beside you?” Astarion held up the paper and Gale nodded, “The very one, yes -“ he leaned forward and took it from Astarion, beginning to rip it into smaller pieces. “Darling, will you please hand me that pen?” He gestured towards the embedded shelf above you and you grabbed it, holding it out for him to take. As he did, he bent forward and kissed you. “Thank you. Now,” he began scribbling everyone’s names furiously onto the paper. 

The piano’s melodies echoed faintly around you as you watched Gale work, refusing assistance. Once the names were written, he carefully folded the papers and dropped them into a pouch and secured it with a ribbon. Then, he shook it and conjured a mage hand with a deft twist. Minsc shook with glee, “That never gets old, such a clever trick!” 

Gale covered his eyes and allowed the mage hand to remove the ribbon before he conjured a second hand. The two held the bag opened and he shut his eyes as he drew out the names of the teams. “I can cast blindness if you’d like,” Shadowheart joked, a half-smirk on her lips. 

“Ha-ha,” Gale said, picking out the final name. He clapped his hands together then gestured broadly. “So, who’s on whose team? And, a drum roll, if you please.” A collective groan shook the room and Gale shrugged and said, “Indulge me.” So they did, producing a cacophony of noises that made your head spin. It didn’t help that you had a soft buzz from the wine. Gale gestured for silence and the room grew quiet. Astarion, the pain he could be, cleared his throat in the middle of the dramatic pause. Karlach nudged him. “Team one: Karlach, Me,-“ 

“FUCK YES,” the tiefling boomed, reaching her hand out to tap Gale’s. “Let’s GO!” 

Gale laughed and took a moment to catch his breath, looking down at the last name, “And Wyll.” 

“You’re on,” Wyll said, sticking his tongue out a bit and pointing at the rest, moving his seat to join Karlach. 

“Collusion!” Astarion called and Shadowheart nodded in agreement. 

“Shall I finish reading the teams before we start tossing around a healthy dose of trash talk? There is a difference, Astarion, we don’t want a repeat of last time.”

Astarion hissed and crossed his arms. “Go on.” 

“Team Two: Shadowheart, Astarion, and Minsc.” The three were already seated together, as they had arrived together. 

“Truly!” Minsc said, wrapping his arms around the two and pulling them closer. “We already make an excellent team, perhaps Gale colluded in favor of us. But boo?” Minsc said, looking at Gale. “Is boo on Minsc’s team or will he be a vile traitor?” Boo squeaked in defiance. “Only kidding, of course.” 

“Um,” Gale said, cocking his head to the side and furrowed his brow before he looked at you. “What do you think, my love?” 

“I say… boo can decide their fate.” You pursed your lips and looked at the hamster knowingly. You didn’t understand a damn word it said, but you did understand enough not to get on Boo’s bad side. Boo squeaked twice for approval. 

Jaheira was already shaking her head, pinching the bridge of her nose. “I can’t believe you’re making me do this, I’m too old to be doing this.” 

“Team Three: Halsin, Jaheira, and you, my darling.” He beamed as he said your name, it rolled off his tongue as if he’d known it for a thousand lifetimes. “Before we get started,” he took a deep breath and clapped his hands together, “Desert and coffee, anyone?” Collective nods and approvals. 

You wondered how you got so lucky as he gestured for you to stay, to talk and enjoy the moment while he took care of it all. Could you imagine? 

[deltaengineering]

Winter Anime 2024: Payday

Metallic Rouge

Metallic Rouge hasn't ended yet, but I am quite certain that at this point it's unsalvageable. I can give it one thing: it's going for a specific ~vibe~, and nails it. Why anyone would want to evoke the ~vibe~ of "deservedly forgotten 2000s sci-fi seasonal" is beyond me (I won't provide an example, because if I could remember it it wasn't forgettable enough), but there you go. Truly, Bones have outdone themselves with this celebration of their 25 year legacy.

It's hard to even start, but the one thing everyone is certain about is as good as any: The plotting and structure of this show is a complete mess. Some consider this "ambitious", but I don't think an ambition of "let's throw in every half baked thing we can think of and try to glue it together with proper nouns" is worth celebrating. We've got insipid and illogical worldbuilding that ultimately goes nowhere, brave political statements on the level of "slavery sure is bad but don't be rude about it", metaphor bombshells like a character who schemes behind the scenes and styles themselves the "puppetmaster" and constant plot twists that explain things long after I've given up on even trying to make sense of anything. That's where the ~vibe~ comes from: everything that has ever vaguely annoyed you in a mid anime is somehow in this one all at once.

This wouldn't be so bad if it had characters that are entertaining on their own, but here we meet the most bizarre creative decision: the one thing it has going for it is the Diet Dirty Pair banter between Rouge and Naomi, which elevates a few episodes to "decent", but of course they spend half the show seperated. And by themselves, Rouge likes chocolate and is as dumb as a brick with charisma to match, while Naomi is sassy and mysterious and that's it. The rest of the characters (and naturally, there are far too many of them) are either irritating or at best just bland.

So if this is Bones pulling out all the stops, at least you should expect the production values to be high, but even that is a mixed bag. Metallic Rouge looks quite mediocre for the most part until it's time for a dedicated Sakuga Cut™, which might be a fight or alternatively just a random one of the dozens of boring hallway conversations (that Crunchyroll of all things is treating this as a joke really says it all). And even the fights aren't all that great, because this show somehow manages to have bad sound mixing and music beds that I'd call interesting in theory but don't work well as a score. At least it has a stellar OP, but even that seemed a lot better before the show actually came out.

I might bump up the score a point if it ends exceptionally well (which it won't), but even in that case... it's still bad. Please go back to sourcing your deep plots from Weekly Shounen Jump, Bones. ~3/10

Bucchigiri...

Bucchigiri..., on the other hand, has the exact opposite problem: While Metallic Rouge is a convoluted tangle of inconsequential plot, this show is just happy to phone it in. It almost feels like a rerun of fall 2021, where Metallic Rouge is the new Fena and Bucchigiri... is the new Takt:Op. It leaves an agreeable first impression, with a bold, colorful look, unusual setting, expressive direction and kinetic animation – but everything not entirely superficial is an excuse, and a "dog ate my homework" level of excuse at that. If all you want is bromantic burly brettyboys going through the motions, get your fanfic pen ready, but don't expect the show itself to provide significantly more than character designs. It doesn't help that the main character is particularly bad, with his gimmick being "annoying disinterested horndog". These non-characters keep going in circles slapping each other's asses and being not very funny for two thirds of the show, until a very generic "sensitive best friend is tempted by evil" drama plot appears because even yaoi shippers realize that eventually something has to happen, which boils down to Matakara going around slapping everyone's asses again, but now it's supposed to be sad. And then that doesn't work at all, because for character drama you need characters. Who knew.

Of course the funny bit is that this is pretty much what I asked for. I gave SKOO shit for only being good at the wacky parts while the heartfelt drama and more fleshed out characters fell flat. Well, now the director's followup work is just the wacky bits and feels completely hollow for it, and then the exaggerated drama lacks anything to back it up. Maybe just do better, I suppose. Oh yeah, and this also hasn't ended yet but with how completely predictable it is I feel like I've already seen the final episode. ~4/10

Undead Unluck

You can take the Shounen out of the Jump but you can't take the Jump out of the Shounen. I don't usually touch the Weekly Shounen Jump brand for good reasons, but Undead Unluck definitely had one of the strongest first impressions for one in a long time, if only because it has leads that aren't Goku and Vegeta again. But it also had a flashy, devil-may-care attitude with absurd nonsense happening left and right, a bonkers setting that is actually interesting in its own right and production value to back it up. In short, it was Fire Force with arguably better characters. When it's firing on all cylinders, Undead Unluck is a very fun time.

The problem is that Undead Unluck is firing on all cylinders about as often as a Cadillac V8-6-4 with a flaky ignition distributor. Primarily it has a massive padding problem: The amount of recapping and flashbacks to things that just happened is patently ridiculous and I say that as someone who has watched two seasons of My Hero Academia. If you include things like OP and ED, I feel like calling roughly a third of this show's runtime literally repeated content is not a wild exaggeration. And that's only literally repeated content – since this is Weekly Shounen Jump, there is also a lot of restating of facts and tedious explanations. I can't even blame this just on Jump Editorial, because a lot of the time it seems to be in service of hitting the right cliffhangers – but if both source and adaptation have severe pacing issues, it all compounds to the worst pacing in any show I've seen a considerable amount of.

And then, even in the coinflip of time when it's actually doing anything, it's obviously not always at its best either. This is honestly acceptable from a show that goes wild – with these you have to take the bad with the good. I didn't care much for the lazily metafictional final arc for example, but it would be perfectly fine if it didn't (quite expectedly at this point) do its core statement twice in as many episodes in a row, only with more screaming the second time. It's good when it's good, sure, but it would have to be outstandingly brilliant to make the whole thing worth it – which it isn't, so it's not. 5/10

Mahou Shoujo ni Akogarete (Gushing over Magical Girls)

My standard line regarding any extra spicy fanservice anime show has always been "you know you can find real porn on the internet easily, right". Gushing over Magical Girls (which is, aint gonna lie, a genius title translation) is a pretty good example why: Even though it is pretty damn explicit, it still isn't on the level of actual porn, and then the extended moaning and wriggling sequences just take up so much of the time that it gets tedious pretty fast. And a lot of the "other" content of the show is just blatantly an excuse to make the porn happen. There's some edgy comedy too, but I think characters like Kiwi are more annoying than anything, so that didn't do much for me either. Then the middle section of the show is an excursion where our protagonist villains go sex up a couple of more villainous villains, which feels like it's missing the point even by its own standards. Also, be aware that with hentai content come hentai production values, and this one is definitely below average. None of this is particularly unusual.

However, I kept watching this one, and the reason is pretty simple: I don't actually object to spiciness in principle, and in the beginning the show did a pretty good job of portraying Utena's awakening to a bunch of fetishes. That she then started an awkward on-and-off anonymous BDSM relationship with an actual magical girl was even better. I honestly have to say that this is a brilliant concept, even if it wasn't executed to a level where I was certain it was intentional. Also, while it's arguably the "main plot", it's a fairly small part of the show and when it didn't show up much in the middle I was sure the show had lost me. I do have to admit though that against all odds, Gushing does stick the landing, with a final episode that really pays off that plotline in the best way you could reasonably (see above) expect. It's a bit of a rough ride, but this show delivers.

So I'm two minds about Gushing over Magical Girls. If you just consider it a hentai OVA that somehow escaped to television (which is not an unreasonable standpoint), it feels surprisingly ambitious and well thought out. But as a regular TV show, it just has too many weaknesses to ignore. Still, even though I can't call it good, I still think it's a more interesting curio than the score might make it sound. 5/10

Hime-sama "Goumon" no Jikan desu ('Tis Time For "Torture", Princess)

Oh no, this has "torture" in the title, what could it mean? Yeah, I think at this point everyone knows that it's a joke (one might even say... The Joke) and let's leave it at that. It feels like every season there's some fluffy and cute comedy that I quite enjoy for no profound reason. The Alleged Torture here simply doesn't do anything wrong, manages to find just about enough angles to its one joke to not get boring, and features nice designs and enough production value to deliver a smooth ride all the way to the end. It occasionally does something beyond its one joke, and that tends to turn out cute and chill as well, like Tortura's modest OL home life. Really the only thing I don't like about this is the manzai reaction antics of the sword – explaining the joke is always questionable, but it's especially so when there is exactly one punchline that never changes. In any case, this one is hardly essential and there are many others like it, but sometimes you just want something sweet and inoffensive that still puts the effort in. And this is definitely one of those. 6/10

Kusuriya no Hitorigoto (Apothecary Diaries)

I feel like I should like this show a lot more than I actually do. This is because it is made of great ingredients: Very nice looks, a setting with tons of potential, mostly interesting characters and in particular an amazing main character. Maomao is just great, she has tons of personality and a funny oddball charm that is tempered by a smart and stoic attitude. The beginning of the show, where Maomao plays the streetwise intruder into the stilted world of court intrigue and manages to cut through the bullshit like nobody else could, is pretty excellent.

However, as the show went on, it became clear that I just don't agree with the direction the plot takes. Of course it turns out that Maomao is actually deeply involved into the court drama in half a dozen ways (without ever telling the audience about it, which smells of retcon). Of course the focus shifts to other characters like Jinshi or later on Lakan, who are far less interesting. Of course there is a romance with Jinshi on the horizon. I don't want to be that guy that is mad that a show doesn't turn out to be what they had wished it to be, but it's still a letdown.

And that's not mentioning that the daily business of the show, various levels of detective work, is hardly solid gold either. It's just bad at mystery writing – most "cases" turn out to be massively contrived and then Maomao walks in and just guesses the solution out of nowhere. The large-scale mystery (who is Jinshi, really?) is not much of a mystery at all but Maomao can't figure it out because apparently she has to solve these complicated and tiny problems before she can realize the simple and obvious large one. And then there's the drama, which is effective enough in the moment but seems to be mostly built on a foundation of allegedly smart people acting much more stupid than they should.

So overall, I think this is still a good show simply because Maomao is fun to watch no matter what, but I just don't think the writing can quite hold up its part of the bargain, and that is kind of a bummer. 7/10

Yuuki Bakuhatsu Bang Bravern

Bang Bravern arrived with a simple, but quite amusing thesis statement: What if you had a tacticool, Armored Core-like mecha setting but then everything changed when a super robot show invaded. That's pretty funny. It also just so happens that Masami Oobari knows that the likes of Top Gun tend to have a certain undertone, and also made Bang Bravern explicitly homoerotic. That's even funnier. Add to this the fact that the epic super robot action genre is inherently hilariously over the top, and you have the makings of a very amusing show. Now, I could just leave it at that, because that's what Bravern is. An over the top and self-aware love letter to the super robot shows of old, with a couple of additional comedic angles.

In other words, it's like all super robot shows that have been made in the last two decades. Yeah, Bravern is undeniably quite entertaining, but I also don't think it's anywhere as unique as people seem to think it is. The "super in a world of reals" joke in particular doesn't really come into play that often, apart from when that side of the show keeps introducing dozens of characters that then proceed to not do anything apart from standing on the sidelines. The gay love affair does matter more often, but seems to run into diminishing returns because once you've done "come inside me" (which it does in like episode 3), you really have nowhere to go. And besides those two, well... it's charmingly exuberant and features all the goofy tropes, but it lacks the absurd hugeness of a TTGL or the meaningful subtext of a Gridman – and that's only shows that I have actually seen as a non-fan of the genre. I suppose fans will gladly take it anyway, because the genre is somewhat rare nowadays, but Bravern doesn't exactly blow me away. Still, you can't deny the fun. 7/10

Sousou no Frieren (Frieren: Beyond Journey's End)

So here we come to the big dog. The show that's pulling Doraemon numbers on Japanese TV, has been riding a comfortable #1 spot on MAL for months, and has inspired an unfathomable amount of porn. And the real surprising thing is that it's the first show in a very long time that I think comes even close to deserving that level of hype, especially early in its run when it absolutely isn't the kind of show you'd expect to do this – apart from the production values being about as good as TV anime gets, naturally.

Frieren starts out as an uniquely focused narrative that explores as many angles as it can out of a complicated mess of legacy, memory and regret through the lens of a pretty simple and generic RPG trope. It achieves this almost entirely through one of the best casts I've seen in a long time – Frieren may not be quite as charming a protagonist as Maomao, but she has much more depth and more importantly, every character that matters in her show is almost as good, and their relationships are even better. In its first-cours adventure mode, when we're just wandering around having more or less episodic encounters and plot points that drift in and out of focus with a wistful tone but splashes of goofy comedy, Frieren is quite excellent and would have been my show of last year if I had considered it eligible.

But then it slams in a new gear with the elegance of a tractor driver who thinks clutches are for pussies. Suddenly we're doing a proper Shounen Exam Arc and we're getting a lot less of this and a lot more of this. Now to be fair, this is a long running manga and it probably could not have kept doing flashbacks to Frieren being too dense to realize that Himmel was hitting on her 80 years ago forever. But still, the mage examination arc just really isn't Frieren at its best. It's not even that the content is particularly bad (maybe apart from the really quite rough beginning), and I do understand the long-term benefits of introducing a bigger cast of characters for future use, especially when they turn out to be quite good eventually... but it all just takes way too long. There's still great moments here, but that's usually a small segment of the established good stuff or, failing that, Frieren dropping a sick ass spell. Yeah, I won't even blame this on the action, because said action is incredibly well done and still quite brief, but you really didn't need a full season of theorycrafting and skill discussions to get those explosions. In short. Frieren temporarily turns into Full Metal Alchemist with better leads, and while this would be high praise for almost any shounen manga, it isn't for the one that has demonstrated it can do far better.

There is one real upside to this distraction arc though: Unlike, say, the plot problems of Apothecary Diaries that are here to stay, none of this irreversible, which Frieren immediately makes clear by snapping back to its best behaviour the second they leave the designated raid zones. The ending is as good as any part of the show, with the skillful writing and great tone we have come to wish for. Frieren may not be as consistently excellent as it first appeared, but it is still pretty damn good – and not on a purely superficial level either, because it obviously can have outstanding writing when it wants to and the fundamentals are rock solid too. 8/10

Yubisaki to Renren (A Sign of Affection)

And the top spot of the season goes to... a show that may not be the most ambitious, but does absolutely nothing wrong. Yubisaki to Renren is a fluffy romance where a very cute girl meets a very nice boy, and then no drama happens because not everyone in the world is a fucking idiot. I think my delight with this says more about the absolute state of romance anime than it does about the show itself, but I also have to say that while the plot of this show might be simplistic, it takes great care to set everything up in such a way to get away with said simplistic plot.

Obviously the core of the setup is that Yuki is deaf. But, quite smartly, the author doesn't make the story about Yuki's problems with not being able to hear, but rather about how her world is just... limited. And Itsuomi is a dude with an uncommonly wide worldview and experience. Opposites attract, and there you go. The show basically gets all the grounding it needs from that simple setup for free, then throws in a bit of complicated history among the larger cast. Then just make Yuki incredbly cute and Itsuomi an uncommonly levelheaded adult who will take measures to prevent any pointless drama before it gets out of hand, and you have a show that's just 100% a good time all the way through. So the leads (i.e., the thing that matters way above all else in a romance) are great, and the rest of the cast is more than fine too, even those who would instigate such drama – it can't get annoying, because they never succeed.

Really if I had to say something negative about this show it would be that it's still superficial compared to a show at its skill level that does go hard. I mean, it's about two nice people falling in love and nothing goes wrong, which isn't exactly a lot. There is maybe also the idea that Itsuomi may be a bit too perfect, but I'm just more than happy to see a male lead in a shoujo romance that is neither an abusive jerk nor a bland cardboard cutout. In a perfect world, something like Yubisaki to Renren should feel a bit bland and generic, but in the real one, there just isn't much like it. 9/10

[gabessquishytum]

Okay LISTEN on my bullshit again but your last comment about Dream being a voyeur set off my kink bells to alarm mode. I get that Dream is a lovely voyeur. I do! And I love that! But I want to offer this up -

Hob as the voyeur

Maybe different scenarios like:

Dream fucking someone else (dealers choice here who) and Hob (accidentally?) walking in - this one could go MANY ways. Angsty because it’s someone whose not Hob, on purpose kink negotiated scene, cucking, sudden realization of the “oh” moment that Dream does have sex and Hob didn’t think he would ever be interested and now he’s VERY interested, etc etc.

Hob as a legitimate honest to god peeping tom and all the morally grey that brings in. (This is my let Hob be Problematic™ agenda)

Hob watching other humans in the waking world - maybe an orgy?

Dream masturbating and Hob walks in on him (I’ll be honest I have a WIP I haven’t finished of this because this does it so much for me. But you know the saying- MORE CAKE)

Dream specifically sending Hob sex dreams [&/or daydreams] of himself fucking or masturbating and forcing Hob to watch them - Let Dream be Problematic™ too as a little treat

Incredible content once again, you have truly outdone yourself with this one my friend.

Idk what it is about this ship, I have never in my entire life found cucking remotely sexy but now I’m like. What if. WHAT IF. Either in a dream (problematique dream my beloved <3), or even in the waking world (depending how attached to canon you are). Hob walks in on Dream fucking Eleanor?

Hob loves Eleanor, he worships the ground she walks on, she’s his soulmate and he has never been so happy. Hob also loves his mysterious Stranger, who he has met only twice and even so, who holds an entire portion of his heart.

And right there, in their marriage bed where their son was conceived, Eleanor lies with her arms clasped around the neck of the Stranger. They look so good together, both fair skinned and soft. Hob’s Stranger is driving his wife to the very heights of passion, drawing sounds from her lips that Hob has never even imagined. He stands in the doorway and god, of course he isn’t going to interrupt! There’s no feeling of betrayal, just an overwhelming sense of how fucking lucky he is. He looks into Eleanor’s eyes and she smiles at him like she wants him to join them but Hob just. Can’t. He’s watching the way his Stranger moves like liquid, like molten silver. He’s watching the way that pretty cock drives into his wife’s body as though claiming a place within her. It’s. Too much. He doesn’t even get to touch himself, he’s already reached a trembling orgasm. And if it’s a dream, he wakes up beside Eleanor wondering what the fuck and also wow. And if it’s real… he has a lot of questions. When he can actually speak again.

I want to talk about EVERYTHING in your ask at length and please be aware that I am VERY INSPIRED and there may be a barrage of voyeur Hob fics on their way. But I have to mention peeping tom Hob here because I am also very much a fan of the problematic Hob agenda.

Like. Maybe it’s an accident at first. Hob has been dreaming for over 600 years so he has a pretty good level of control over the dreaming itself. He can walk around and see things that other sleeping people don’t. He doesn’t mean to end up in the Dreamlord’s bedroom, obviously. Especially since aforementioned Dreamlord is his best friend! It’s an accident, 100%.

The part where he hides against the door with his face pressed in a convenient crack while he watches Dream indulge in a little self-pleasure? Not an accident. The part where he comes back again, night after night, sticking his hand down his pants so he can rub one out while he watches. Also not an accident.

Dream knows. He knows everything. It amuses him that Hob thinks he’s being so sneaky and devious. He’s only there because Dream enjoys being watched. But Hob doesn’t know that. And the mixture of pleasure and guilt has never felt so delicious.

[rohanmohanty]

Top 10 Reasons Austin Yana Tathawade is Pune’s Ultimate Luxury Living Destination

If you're anything like me, finding the perfect place to call home isn’t just about four walls and a roof. It’s about a lifestyle—one that complements your passions, fits your needs, and elevates your daily life. After visiting Austin Yana Tathawade, I genuinely felt it ticked all those boxes and more. I’ll walk you through my experience and the top ten reasons why Austin Yana is fast becoming Pune’s ultimate spot for luxury living.

1. Spacious Homes with Bigger Carpet Areas

We all know space can be a luxury, and Austin Yana is generous with it. Unlike many cramped apartments around the city, Austin Yana Tathawade gives you a real sense of openness with spacious carpet areas across their 2, 3, and 4 BHK layouts. You can feel the thought that went into maximizing every inch without overcrowding, making it a space where you can breathe easy and truly relax.

2. 15 Acres of Prime Land

Finding a residential space that’s spread across a sprawling 15 acres in Pune is rare these days. Here, it doesn’t feel congested at all—the design cleverly incorporates wide open spaces, green zones, and ample amenities, giving the area a balanced feel. Whether it’s morning walks or simply the relief of living in an uncongested space, Austin Yana has created a peaceful escape in Tathawade.

3. Eight High-Rise Towers that Impress

These aren’t just any towers; they’re designed with an eye for luxury and practicality. The high-rise buildings provide panoramic views, especially for those lucky enough to live on the upper floors. But it’s not just about height. Each tower at Austin Yana Tathawade is crafted with a unique style that gives the project a modern look while ensuring functionality and privacy for every resident.

4. Seamless Connectivity to Key Areas

When I think about convenience, Austin Yana’s location is top-notch. Being just two minutes from the Pune-Bangalore Highway means that commuting, whether for work or weekend getaways, is a breeze. Plus, with Hinjewadi IT hub and key spots like Balewadi’s World Trade Centre nearby, you’re truly at the center of it all. Less time in traffic means more time doing what you love.

5. World-Class Amenities that Go Beyond Basics

I’ve seen a lot of residential projects, but Austin Yana has genuinely outdone itself with amenities. From an infinity pool where you can swim with views, to an outdoor work pod that lets you work from home with a fresh twist, they’ve thought of everything. Fitness buffs will love the gym, while kids get to enjoy safe, vibrant play areas. And for days when relaxation is a must, there’s the serene yoga area and landscaped garden.

6. A Green, Sustainable Environment

In a bustling city, it’s refreshing to see so much green around. The developers of Austin Yana have paid careful attention to landscaping and sustainability. You’ll find lots of trees, walking paths, and even a pet park! It’s clear that Austin Yana is committed to giving residents a green, eco-friendly place to call home, adding to the feeling that you’re part of something that cares for the environment.

7. Thoughtful Layouts Designed for Living

One of my biggest pet peeves with city apartments is often the poor layout. But at Austin Yana Tathawade, I noticed every apartment feels thoughtfully arranged, giving each room its own sense of privacy while maximizing shared space. The flow of the rooms just makes sense. Whether you’re in a cozy 2 BHK or a grand 4 BHK, the interiors reflect a design meant to enhance your lifestyle.

8. A Secure Community Atmosphere

Safety and community vibes are crucial, especially if you have a family. Austin Yana takes security seriously, with 24/7 surveillance and a well-staffed security team. Beyond just being a safe place, the community amenities and events foster a sense of connection among neighbors, creating a welcoming environment where you actually feel at home.

9. Pet-Friendly Zones for Animal Lovers

For those with pets, Austin Yana is a dream come true. Many buildings overlook this essential detail, but here you’ll find designated pet-friendly zones where your furry friends can play safely. And with plenty of green spaces around, it’s easy to take your dog for a quick walk or playtime without needing to step outside the property.

10. A Sense of True Luxury and Community

Ultimately, it’s hard to pin down what makes Austin Yana so unique without mentioning its “feel.” The developers have managed to create a luxurious yet inviting space that doesn’t feel pretentious. There’s an emphasis on community, whether it’s at the shared gazebo, sports café, or cultural activity zone. Austin Yana Tathawade doesn’t just offer homes—it offers a lifestyle where luxury meets warmth.

Final Thoughts

Choosing the right place to call home isn’t easy, but I can honestly say Austin Yana has gone above and beyond in crafting a space that offers everything you’d want and more. From ample living spaces and lush green landscapes to a range of amenities designed for every member of the family, Austin Yana Tathawade is more than just a residence. It’s a lifestyle choice that redefines what luxury living should be in Pune.www.austinyana-tathawade.com

[a-patheticapathetic]

Rishloo - Feathergun: Review

New year, new me. Let’s repeat that until it becomes true. 

There seems to be a pattern with how I discover music. At a very young age, I hear a song in a very specific circumstance. It has a big impact on me, but I make absolutely zero effort to check out any of the artist’s other music and instead meander onto another earworm. Then, years later, I have another chance meeting with the same song/album/artist and fall completely down a rabbithole that foundationally changes my taste in music. It happened with Radiohead (High and Dry as one of the default songs in the original Rocksmith), Queens of the Stone Age (Lost Art of Keeping a Secret in a stick figure animation), and Nine Inch Nails (Hurt (Quiet) on Spotify radio). Then, there was this strange song called “Scissorlips” that I saw on a very small Rock Band 3 drum channel. I showed it to my brother because of how fun the chart looked, and made the mistake of watching his reaction to the video. His disinterest embarrassed me enough that I never chased the music. That is, of course, until many years later, when I was introduced to Tool. The rest is history, and is frankly stalling me from starting the actual review. Let’s get to it.

Scissorlips - 8/10

The strange, dark jungle the album begins with is a nice representation of the album cover, although it won’t rule over the entire runtime. Don’t let the de-tuned guitar under the vocals deter you; the rest of the guitarwork here is beautiful. As we reach the pre-chorus, the percussionists may hear why I was interested in this song as a kid. This is also where the sonic background really opens up, swallowing you for a moment before the intro verse comes back. The lyricism here is also very abstract, yet isn’t impossible to follow. A couple of metallic bites taken out of the mostly psychedelic walls of guitars, then, the first of many beautiful delay effects. The build-up got me pretty good when I heard this so many years ago, and It’s still damn good. For the love. There are so many guitar lines here that just intertwine and enlace you. Then, something a bit heavier (yet oddly hopeful) to round the song out.

Turning Sheep into Goats - 7/10

This intro is more of what can be expected for the rest of the album, sonically speaking. A lone guitar with delay playing a complicated and alluring line in a strange time signature, then built upon. The path you may assume this song will follow is extremely suddenly changed at the chorus, the vocals really driving it home. Then, back into that nice opening riff like nothing happened. The next time that chorus comes thundering around, listen to that low guitar and the way it combines with the drums. Then drop out the ugliness into a floating mesh of palm mutes and synthetic strings. And don’t miss the fl

Systematomatic - 7/10

awless transition into the next song. Immediately, a new riff rises from the pond of reverb. You may not identify it immediately, but don’t worry, you’ll get more chances to. Very fast guitar-work that somehow doesn't sound so frantic, although the chorus definitely has a certain desperation to it. The mood gets heavy again, before quickly sliding into a strange, feverish haze. Some hits of percussion, then a recontexutalized and slower return to the riff at the start of the song. Weave us back into war.

River of Glass - 8/10

Now this is an ear-catching introduction. What seems to be a calm wave of delay is punctuated by war drums and a grimier lead. The mood builds, then crescendos into the song proper. The chorus is hear damn near immediately, and is extremely catchy for prog. This album is really just full of extremely memorable vocals, and the instrumentals complement them perfectly. We get two goes-around before we fall into these twisting and sliding strings. The drummer is also on his A-game here. Then, the guitars push into the clouds before coming back down with another short but heavy low. Then it all cuts out for a second, juts to make the burst into the final chorus that much more effective.

Keyhole in the Sky - 7/10

This one is simpler, but also very filling and peaceful. Unfortunately it does begin to showcase my only problem with this album; the vocals are mixed too loud at times. And while the singer is absolutely incredible, sometimes I’d like the instrumentals to breathe a bit more. The walls of high guitar come back around, this time feeling much more friendly and familiar. One last chorus, closing on a quiet note. Though it’s not over; an alien feedback loop and somber, echoey horn passage lead us into the next track

Downhill - 10/10

This song has two main phases, and is absolutely perfect throughout. An easy start; a relatively simple and serene riff fed through a pleasant delay pedal, with some subtle synth and bass backing. The vocals shine through, as clear as ever. And wave, goodbye. Then, like stepping through a portal into phase one. A very interesting, rhythmic and almost bluesy instrumental accompanies the title-drop. Then, we fall for miles down a well of piano. The bottom greets us with a moonlit key solo, then an incredible Floydian guitar solo. Hanging on the last note, phase two begins with an ominous drone and repeating guitar line. The drums rise, give a false start. then... perfection. I cannot do phase two justice with words. Just close your eyes, listen, and be swept away in what I believe to be one of the greatest vocal performances of all time.

Lost.

Feathergun in the Garden of the Sun - 9/10

Not to be outdone by the previous masterpiece, the title track opens with another wonderful soundscape, before the distortion comes in. The drums pick up the tension, bringing us into the pre-chorus. That riff is going to be impossible to tap your foot to at first, but the next ones should be easier. And here we have perhaps the best chorus on the record; extremely powerful in writing and execution on the parts of every band member. The second time around is just as good as the first, then the brdige begins. Ready, aim... The heaviest riff on the album, and an abrupt switch into the last chorus. Fade out.

Dreamcatcher - 7/10

A nice break from the intensity. This feels like a peaceful tidepool on an alien world, with creatures and colors beyond the world floating around my head. Short but sweet.

Diamond Eyes - 6/10

By no means bad, I do feel like this one may be the weakest track on the album. While it’s certainly beautiful, I feel like it doesn’t do a whole lot that’s new or interesting. Also, when listening at high volume (which is the proper way to listen to this album), the faults in the mixing really rear their ugly heads during the choruses. Still, there are some very pleasant rolling delay loops here during the bridge, and a nice and satisfying buildup towards the end.

Katsushika - 7/10

While the guitar opening this track may be the most straight-forward and least effects-driven riff we’ve heard so far, this song will eventually become the most alien one of the entire lineup. In a good way, of course. I can barely even decipher exactly what’s going on in the instrumentation during that build. The chorus also ends with a nice drop-off into the next verse. You may be noticing a pattern with the songwriting, where the chorus usually leads into the second verse, following the pattern of the first one but with more layering. I like it; it gives the ideas present more time to mature and develop. Anyways, here comes the bridge, where everything changes. Out of everything going on here, I feel like the drums and the background vocals are the most striking thing about this outro. What a fantastic progression and dropout. Beautiful monsters.

Weevil Bride - 8/10

The finale. This riff here is extremely well-done. The tone here is somehow piercingly bright and concerningly dark at the same time. The lyricals themes of the album also come to a head here. This chorus is another incredibly written and performed beast; just wait until it’s modulated. The second verse lays away with the subtleties and strikes at the head. And I just need to know that everything is fine, and everyone’s alright. This bridge also kicks ass, with its heart-pouding combination of guitars and toms. Then, comes the heaviest part of the entire album: Yes, please. Then we are snapped out of the masochism and lifted back to hear the main point of the album, before the intro riff carries us into an uncertain but complete conclusion. After the “true” song ends, there is a long passage of somber horns and a tranquil, almost lullaby-esque keyboard. There’s something extremely nostalgic about this outro to me, but I still can’t put my finger on where it comes from. This section almost feels like the music they play after the end of a play, as the lights come on and you make your way down the dimly-lit theater steps on slightly numb and shaky legs. The story is over; this is your time to reflect.

The main reason I wanted to write about this album in particular is because I feel like it hasn’t gotten the attention it’s deserved. It truly feels like a masterpiece worthy of widespread recognition and praise, but despite being released over a decade ago, few people have even heard of this band. It feels like injustice, not only for Rishloo’s efforts, but for the people who would connect with this album as much as I have. Also, there’s the slightly selfish hope that increased attention would incentivize the band to work on more new stuff, or better yet, remaster their older works.

In any case, It’s very late, my back hurts because my spine hates my nervous system, and I need to actually get to sleep tonight so I can heal the godforsaken nerve that wedged itself in my inner workings yesterday. On a scale from “Your all-time low just lowered again”, to “Want some? Yes, please”, I give Feathergun a “Oh, what beautiful monsters”.

[chaoticlamphoagietaco]

2020?

Well what can I say, it seems like it’s ending with a bang, but there’s still two months left.

Biden is president, and trump has yet to retaliate, I wonder what that’s going to look like.

My boyfriend and I are having sexual issues, or rather I’m seeing issues in our sexual habits.

It feels one-sided, I please him (he cums), he pleases me and I don’t cum. It’s frustrating because I’ve seen him go on hikes, talk to people for hours, if you can be active in this way, why is it difficult to just suck my dick for like 30? I understand if you lock jaw, but over the course of our relationship, sex has been me being patient and him getting off. It’s hard to maintain sexual interest, and maybe that’s why my mind goes in these fantasies. I’m almost at the point where if we have anal, I know where gonna end up jerking off... maybe I’m asking for too much, or maybe I’m just tired of being patient.... I wanna see if he will be open to swinging, or wearing a long dildo for a couple of days to resolve the issue, but I’m not sure how he will respond, or when this conversation will happen. I’m hoping that Sunday will be the day but I’m not sure.

I miss my mother, I feel her trying to reach me but I struggle to connect to her spirit. There’s so much unsaid, that it’s hard to equate the relationship to only a spiritual level. I... don’t know what I would say. Am I angry for the suppression. Of my dance enthusiasm? Am I upset because I never told her I was gay? Am I upset because she’ll never see the fruition of my dreams?

Ri

Speakings of, I don’t know my dreams,p anymore.... or rather they feel like they are transforming. I wanted to be a research analyst after falling out of love with psychotherapy and sociology, but I realized what that actually meant. Research analyst is a broad term, that can encompass a business, health centers/organizations, government, and nonprofit. And essentially these are all the sectors you. And work for other than a school which I do not want to do. Through my conversation. With NASA I found more about becoming a data analyst, and while the salary was enticing I realized that was a computer science that didn’t incorporate sociology or psychology like I had hoped. When I stumbled upon market/marketing research analyst I was hooked. I knew that finance and accounting wasn’t my passion, but marketing itself wasn’t either. Marketing has been largely traditional, and digital marketing is basically a new field. I think this is why I made the decision to transfer my major so hastily, it encompasses everything I was searching for with program evaluation, I can conduct research based on consumer intelligence which incorporatess social psychology, and have the promising effects of impact. Or in other words, my research will be used and considered valuable to the company I’m working for or working with. In program evaluation, sociology and psychology, the effect that your research has is truly perceptional and has a large ambiguity around its impact. You can go 4-10 years without achieving a goal you intended, which is expected and encouraged in some situations. On top of all this, withi program Evaluation and psychology there’s an expectation around the support you give in the exchange. Not only am I conducting research for MBH, but we (the school) are helping the business attract African America. Participants to their establishment, which can be done in so many different ways, it would take. A considerable amount of money, resources, and process and attention needs to be there if you want to achieve an impact. How can this be achieved when the business in itself is not liable for its own pretentiousness? Or it’s own self-processing that I can’t change? Thankfully, with marketing I get the best of both worlds. I can incorporate my social psychology background, while also attending to my creative side in branding, and even furthermore conducting meaningful research that is almost guaranteed to have an impact (since if I don’t, I’m not doing my job well haha) and will be used as vital data for profitability will not only motivate me to take the job, my peers, and the business seriously, but will also compensate me tremendously well, I mean it’s very lie,oh that in 2-3 years time I could be making a 6 figure salary. With this in mind, I feel Clarity around my occupational pursuits, but as for my dreams... that’s another story...

My dance past is struggle to bring up, even typing....,

I was so close, yet everything was taking from me, and I couldn’t do anything to stop it.

With this, I keep falling in and out of love with dance, I watch a video and I feel inspired to dance again. I’m feeling more drawn to Alonzo Lines ballet, Nunes, and of course my all time favorite Batsheva. But watching hip hop videos make me cry, it reminds me of what I use to be, what I could have become, and how many friends I’ve lost along the way. Dance is brutual, forcing vulnerability and deep connection within a short period of time, I’m not sure how I to come back to it but I’m getting more inspired to. My roommate doesn’t make me feel comfortable eno to explore my creative side, but when me and bf live together, I hope I can feel more comfortable and start recording myself more often, the encouragement he brings is so ephemeral, I’m lucky to have him. But I know that at the least, if I came back to dance, I outdone be more interested in dance film, and being inside of that industry rather than concert dance, sinner the world is kind of moving into a digital world, definitely open to site specific work, given the right amount of viewers and support of course,

For my other dreams that are transforming, I know want to become marketing manager, and possibly a yoga teacher. I’ve gone back and forth with a yogic certificate, but I didn’t feel that I had enough practice, knowledge, or the right people to start with a subject like that. But fuck, I mean soooo many white people do it haha. I’m feeling more motivation for this certificate since I realized that I can make friends this way. I can find like minded people who practice, engage in processing, and are willing to go into platonic physical interactions, since I’m also realizing this is crucial for me in any platonic relationship. If this program started progressing, this could become a business that provides an income, I met awesome people, and I can a lot of ppl along the way. Downsides are of course if the business collapses, but I would gain knowledge in Hinduism which I’ve been wanting but unsure how to engage in.

What’s serendipitous though, is that the the timing of marketing could not be better, a program has a date right after my classes end, I can attend their classes, then continue my spring courses, and work a full time job and on my way to 6 figures. There’s so many resources and side that this transition feels right and meaningful, I’m feeling good about this change, I just hope I won’t want to change again 5 years from now.

Hinduism and Buddhism.... my practices and faith have been wavering, after Naropa, my experience with Buddhism is a bit tainted, maybe I need to go to retreat again and release any energy surrounding my mother, but other factors play a part. The prentiousness, the fake smiles, that school had a lot of problems, but none more so than racism pure and simple. This is why I love Virginia, racism over there is overt and blatant, I know who the racist is and I know where not to go. Here in boulder, everybody will smile at you, and you don’t know who is truly being racist, you have to really read behind the lines and analyze to understand the truth of what somebody is saying, I mean the school burned down on its own so I think my wishes are being granted... I don’t know where this leaves me with Buddhism, Charlotta was amazing, and I want to attend her classes, but something always holds me back and I don’t know what. In regards to Hinduism, my yoga sequence has pretty much been the only stabilizing thing in my life. Through all the obstacles and trauma, maintains these practices have really kept me balanced through whatever comes my way, although I have been slacking I some ways, I’ve also been progressing in chakras, balancing, and following a routine. Maybe in this way, Buddhism is something for me to contemplate, maybe Hinduism is what I want to talk about...there it is, Buddhism is my process and Hinduism is my faith. Shiva will always be my everything, in not sure why on that mountain, or even if I made a connection, but that trip to Japan truly changed me, and I want to follow a Shiva path that is right for me, I just wish I had someone to help guide me, but that might make things harder.

[wackygoofball]

Can you tell us why you’re so positive? I’m having a hard time imagining any positive scenario with Jaime being dead now but I wasn’t wondering what you’re hoping for in the last episode that we can hope for

Well, my positivity comes from the very fact that no matter what, I have an awesome fandom experience. I made the most amazing friends with whom I now share connections reaching beyond the shipping material of my choice, JB. I’ve had and continue to have illuminating and interesting discussions, share in crazy theories, make fun edits and enjoy my wacky life. I never had that until I was guided to the beacon of hope of the JB fandom, and now that I am a part of it, I wouldn’t want to miss a single thing.

So I don’t really see why I would be feeling negatively? Why I would lose all hope, fall into despair, curl in on myself ino a tiny wacky ball, and never dip my toes into the JB fandom again… I can’t see it because I have those things and literally no one other than myself can take them away from me again.

It’s actually the exact opposite for me. I may have come to the fandom because of JB, but I stayed for the whole package. I stayed for the social and emotional connections I made with fellow shippers. I stayed for the debates, not just about JB but all kinds of things. I stayed for the fun and the fanfic, for the gift challenges and roundrobins, for the fanvids and latenight chats.

And so I continue to stay for my friends, I continue to stay for what we canonically have and what can otherwise be explored within the realms of fanon, fanfiction, fanart, and the like.

Because, to me, being part of the JB fandom grew to be so much more than being a fan of Jaime Lannister and Brienne of Tarth, it was becoming a part of a community I don’t want to lose ever again.

But now, I guess your question is more aimed towards what gives me hope for show *canon* turning out satisfactory for JB in any so such way, considering the current… brick odds. Since that post turned out longer than it should (it’s currently 3.00 a.m. and I should be sleeping… so please excuse additonal rambling), I will put this below the cut:

I mean… let’s go through the scenarios from worst case to best case (at least some, there are too many variants to list, really), but for the sake of the argument, let’s roll with the following selection:

1) Even if show canon now ends with Jaime having died last episode and that being the end of it, I have all the opportunity in the world to read and write fix it fanfic and theorize about those what ifs canon would then have left unexplored. So I don’t see why I would be angsting about it. I’ve been to other fandoms before, I shipped pairings I either knew would never become canon or was iffed about when they did not. However, that then leaves me with the sometimes hard but productive task of going back over my earlier theories and see where I went wrong, perhaps, in my analyses to draw the wrong conclusions, where I may have led my shipper goggles distort the source material too much. That can be a kind of painful experience, but it can also be greatly rewarding as it can help me sharpen my views for future analyses of other source materials I may come to enjoy. However, even if we stick to the in-canon expectations here. JB have made love to each other, more than once. They had a beautiful journey together and unless Bran sets it all back in time and we start over somewhere else, no one can take that away from us ever again. And that is amazing.

2) A more hopeful scenario: Jaime still stays dead but either through Tyrion or Bran we at least get the in-canon acknowledgement that Jaime *was* in love with Brienne and also went off to King’s Landing to protect her. Imagine, for instance, a scenario whereby he was being told that Brienne bears his child now. Jaime may have felt like he was a danger to that child (considering the Bronn situation) and/or may have found himself unworthy of that kind of life and may have wished to remove himself from the equation. He may even have been pushed into it by Bran in a number of ways. That would at least give us some kind of closure. It may stil hurt as hell, but the one thing that lies in the air in the narrative at present is that neither Jaime nor Tyrion, in any fashion, addressed his relationship with Brienne. Tyrion didn’t even bring it up during their conversation in the tent, which I would have fully expected as the show bothered to have Tyrion in the know about Jaime’s relationship with Brienne. Why didn’t he ask him something along the lines of “Why do you want to die with Cersei now? You had something good there with Brienne, it made you happy. Why did you just leave that behind?” But no such conversaion took place. Why? I don’t know. I remain puzzled about it. And that is where I am curious to know whether there is something else to that other than “we didn’t have the time to address that” or “we forgot/didn’t bother” storytelling-wise.

3) Jaime may still die but he is not dead as per status of episode 5. He will die of the injuries, but not until Brienne held him in her arms (”to die in the arms of the woman I love” as opposed to holding his sister in what I truly found a way of him acting like a brother to her who was trying to console a hysteric woman who knew she was close to dying and became younger and younger inside her mind the deeper they went). Still all the more tragic, still would suck ass for Brienne as she would have the Renly scenario almost exactly as before, but she held Jaime before he died. They made love before that. So this may at least be the acknowledgement that by the end of the day, Jaime and she had something true, but that circumstances kept them apart and that Jaime would have liked to stay with her in another life, if only life hadn’t made him make certain choices that led down this road.

Now we dig into the really more hopeful scenarios that suggest he is not dead. There are reasons that support this thesis (I don’t call authority to them as, per Occam’s razor, the simplest solutions are ofentimes those that hold the greatest truth). So again, I am not holding my breath for any of those options, all that is to say is that the options *exist*. That is not to fall into hopeful hyping, only to be disappointed if it does not come around, but plainly pointing out arguments that support the thesis.

Reasons that may be used in support of the hypothesis:

a) the show’s really outdone itself to stick a letter to Jaime’s back reading “dead man walking”: Brienne assumed he’d ride to KL to die with his sister, Tyrion said he’d die, Jaime said he’d die, Euron said he’s the one who killed Jaime Lannister, Cersei saw his wounds and kind of implied “you ded”, and then bricks ex machina. Like. Say it one time, foreshadowing, perhaps. Say it two times to make sure. But 4 fuckin’ times is like beating us with a stick.

b) This show has had characters survive despite greater injuries, and now I am not even pointing to Jonesus or Daenerys being fireproof in the show. Remember how Arya got stabbed repeatedly, fell into the water and bled out fast and still she did fine and later on did parkour with the Waif and killed her? Good times. Jon, even after the Julius Caesar stabbination, had it a lot of times when he he should have been dead of injuries and/or pneumonia (see Suicide Squad Beyond the Wall). Arya had buildings drop on her and fire spew at her the whole episode and she got the pale horse showing he the way out (I still hope the horse is Jaqen H’ghar). Tyrion had a ship’s mast drop on him and he did not die. List goes on and on and on. Also, Euron brought a long ice pick to a sword fight. Dude may have missed some major arteries, is all I’m saying.

c) Speaking of injuries, what was the point of having him gravely injured, for what looked and sounded like at least 1 collapsed lung and his kidneys likely looking like a pincushion? The guy still made it all the way up to the map room and then all the way down again without breaking down just once. While Cersei had a sudden unexpected surge of caring for the dude she sent an assassin after not long ago (seriously, let’s never forget that tidbit), the blood on his shirt was not as much as I would have expected from the injuries he’s received. But more to the point: Why have him so gravely injured if the upshot was, all along, he gets there, they get trapped, and then they die together. Why go through the lengths of having Jaime so greatly injured if there is no pay off for him dying of those injuries? Why is it then death by bricks? Why the overkill? I find it odd, is all.

d) There was no single verbal or otherwise recognition by either Jaime or Tyrion about the JB relationship. There was no “tell her I am sorry” or “Could you send her a raven on my behalf?” Nothing. They didn’t even mention her.

e) Jaime seemed awfully jumpy with his reasoning for being there. First he says the odds are even and Cersei may win, implying that he’d want to support Cersei against Daenerys in some way, or rather, keep damage at a minimum by trying to ensure his sister doesn’t pull anything that puts the people in danger. Then Tyrion goes on about how Daenerys will win and Cersei will die. Jaime switches back to Tyrion’s (and Brienne’s) suggestion of him wanting to die by Cersei’s side, which is contrary to his first statement. Then Tyrion points to the people. He says he doesn’t care. Which directly contradicts what he did to save the people of King’s Landing when he slew Aerys. For the sake of that argument, let’s just never forget that Jaime Lannister is one of those characters who builds on “say one thing, mean the other” many, many times. Why am I to assume that there is no hint of that in this cryptic converstaion he’s having with his brother?

f) Why does Tyrion try to get a promise out of Jaime to get Cersei and himself out of KL with the boat? Why does he make him swear? Shouldn’t pointing out the opportunity be enough to convince Jaime to go with it?

g) Others have theorized about it before, I also came back to it. There still is the BATB trope that JB have been following *a lot*. And by that I mean their trajectories were largely reliant on it. Now of course, just because characters are inspired by a trope doesn’t mean the author/writer is obligated to continue it till the very end, but it’s odd how we’ve been following almost all beats, only to stop at what would now be the fakeout death of Beast for Beast to be reborn.

h) Outside of what’s going on within the show’s narrative - NCW’s been all kinds of excited about his arc in season 8, and he’s expressed frustration before, which nearly always related to Jaime staying with his sister for longer than is necessary. This scenario, as it stands right now… does that sound like something NCW would be totally hyped about? I don’t really know. Also, the guy’s been seemingly gagged by HBO in some basement full of free T-shirts since there are no goodbye interviews as we have seen them for Conleth, Pilou and Lena. We only got a couple of instagram posts, but other than that? Am I the only one getting the “Jon Snow is totally dead, guys!” vibes? Perhaps to throw us off, but again, it is something that would support the hypothesis.

i) While we now got a MUCH darker Daenerys *ahem*, and it may well be that she will be wiped off the slate next episode, but that’s another topic… isn’t it AWFULLY neat how that basically removed “all the bad guys” from the narrative? Gregor dead, Euron dead, Qyburn dead, Cersei dead (furthermore, look at all the other baddies we put in the ground, and even those with redemption like Theon are now biting the dust). And then we have Jaime. A character who’s been hated by most for what he did to Bran and for the incesting, a character who continued to be hated by many parts of the viewership based on that, no matter the deeds he did thereafter. The point being, it seems awfully convenient if all the “good guys” lived and all the “bad guys” of varying degrees were to die. GRRM aimed for that bit of dramatic fantasy realism where we have morally gray characters, some grayer than others. Odd enough that this would leave much of the so-perceived morally more or less sound members of the clan right where they are. If I were writing such a thing, I’d keep some of those ambivalent characters, if only to show that the good vs. bad dichotomy does not hold in the real world and that in the real world, sometimes, do not only good guys die but also not-always-good-guys live.

j) What was Jaime’s plan? While he came back to “I am the stupidest Lannister”, Jaime is… not. He outsmarted Tyrion in terms of battle tactics. He is a gifted commander. He certainly is not as dumb as Cersei claimed him to be as she herself was not always the brightest pebble with an evil T’Pol haircut. He’s covered his hand with the glove when he rode away from King’s Landing at the end of season 7. He covered it again until he came back into King’s Landing and then took it off, for what it seems in the hope to use it as a VIP card to get the soldiers’ attention and thus entry into the Red Keep. That means he was in possession of the glove by the time he was captured by Daenerys’s forces. Why would he not wear it, then? Did he want to be caught? Why would he? Was he told by someone with the power of foresight that he needed to be there, that he needed to learn what signal was to be given (the bells) in order to give order to have them ring? We don’t know if he gave the order, but it’s not unlikely. Did he have a plan he didn’t let on even in front of his brother? Was there information Jaime protected and was that the reason why he seemed somewhat off? Who knows. Only the next episode will tell.

k) We are still due some kind of a reaction from Brienne.

l) Where the fuck is Widow’s Wail?

m) Why did the show bother giving us JB making love and playing house if the entire idea was to have him run back to his sister and just die by bricks? Why wait with this till the very last episode, to make it, for all it seems, the literal FINAL big bang of the series?

n) There is something to be said about how realism is not just “everyone dies and all is terrible”. Right now… everything is. We are in worst case scenario land for basically everyone. Jon became complicit in a mass murder, he could not prevent what Jaime did when he slew Aerys before he could nuke the city. Daenerys… committed a mass murder (she lost everyone safe for angry Greyworm and and is now a Queen of the Ashes). Cersei was cast down. Jaime coudln’t make his happiness with Brienne, for all it seems. Varys, for now, it seems, is proven right in that he hoped to be proven wrong and that shit would not go down like it did. Tormund won’t ever get his Emobear back. Bran is an emotional vegetable. Arya just had houses drop on her. Sandor died in fire, aka his worst enemy. Sansa may just have helped put Jon and/or Arya in danger if Daenerys continues to be crazypants. Hundreds and thousands of people got burned, injured, raped, murdered, kabloomed. Tyrion may just have lost his entire family, may still face the wrath of his Queen and continues to be kind of a stupid idiot. This is not some balanced kind of scenario of good and bad, this is just… bad.

o) If we only consider POV characters from the books, there are only three pairings where they are both major POV characters, the three Jays: JC, JD, and JB. And of those two… two are varying degrees of incest, as Varys would otherwise point out to you, and the other barely left the ground before bricks came raining from the sky. The point being… am I to believe that no single 2-POV-romance has any kind of a future? I find it odd.

The list could probably be longer but I am getting tired here. Suffice to say there are a number of reasons that *support* such a hypothesis.

Back on target of scenarios that give me hope - the Jaime lives somehow edition:

4) We may still be in for a Branception. He may pull back time and try to right things (he may also turn out the ultimate villain whose only goal, from the beginning, was to obtain the IT for all we know). He may have seen the worst case scenario unfold as we saw it now, and we may go back to him trying to make it right this time. But those are scenarios that involve a kind of mojo that continues to leave me far too baffled to dive into further. Suffice to say, he may have his hands in that somehow. 

5) Suppose both of them survive somehow. Further imagine a scene of someone waking up on a boat, blinded for a moment, only to come around and look at a very scowling Brienne of Tarth, only to realize that yup, we are seeing things through Jaime’s eyes. And as he turns around he sees a dishevelled but alive sister in the boat, and a very pissed off sellsword turned assassin who complains about how he did not sign up for nearly getting buried alive in those tunnels if not for that warrior woman forcing him to wait out there and pull Jaime and Cersei to safety in the skulls or whatever else when it mattered. Evidently, this would have to be followed by some kind of trial for Cersei as she remains a shitshow of a person who held a city hostage, kabloomed a sept because she could and smirkily drank wine while doing so and gettting helluva murderboners over this. AKA her ending with Jaime still sounds to me as far too nice for a woman who’s done so much horrible when there was no need for it and did nothing really other than supposedly being pregnant with a child (will continue to believe that it is/was a tumor until I’m proven otherwise… even then I will stick to it because history parallels are awesome!) to deserve a “nice” and somewhat comforting exit with her brother by her side, without a single sign of acknowledgement of her being a shitshow of a person. Anyway, that leads too far astray. The point remains on the idea that I wouldn’t even exclude Cersei living at least for a longer while (end of episode 6), but ultimately proving that Jiame will outlive her (as was kind of hinted at by the book’s weirwood dream).

6) Since we have Davos and Tyrion in place as well as a body that conveniently is deposited near the Red Keep now and maches in height and so and such, and since Daenerys would not want to see Jaime Lannister alive right now… how about the good old switch game? Demolish Euron’s dead face a bit more, cut off a hand, stick the golden one on, maybe crispy him a bit more and present that to Daenerys. Would she ask questions beyond that? The point being, I can perfectly see a scenario whereby Jaime will emerge from the rubble (either by sheer luck or by having dived or been pulled into one of the dragon skulls) or will be pulled ou of it, and everyone has to be quick to get rid of him to hide him from Daenerys’s wrath. Off into a boat and let him be brought somewhere to heal and live a silent life where nobody knows what became of him. Tarth is supposed to be beautiful around the season, hm? 

7) Brienne pulls Jaime from the rubble. He explains himself to her, believing he is about to die, just that he isn’t. Maybe he will ogle at her, going on about how Bran even told him how he was destined to die and how there was no future beyond (for him). Only for Brienne to drop it on him that there is, if he decides to live at last because sure as hell she won’t be taking care of a kid they both made and have responsibility to. Perhaps Jaime recognizing that Bran hinted at that the baby he was referring to was not Cersei’s (if there is) but Brienne’s. And that all that needed to happen so he could be reborn.

8) Jaime being the one to ring the bells becoming some kind of unsung hero alongside Brienne if she has any part in getting rid of the current usurper. Imagine Brienne badass-single-handedly getting rid of the living nuke aka dragon.

9) In a scneario whereby Jon offs Daenerys or Daenerys offs off to Essos and Jon does not push the claim… and if we hopefully overlook Gendry because the guy should not be assigned manager jobs he does no have the expertise for (*eye roll*) - I mean, don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against Gendry but he is by no means a politician or anything close to it… just briefly imagine of the reborn Jaime Lannister, the former Kingslayer, suddenly being confronted with the reality that he is heir to the Iron Throne. Just for funsies. Hm?

10) All ends with Jaime waking up next to Brienne, dozing in bed with their ten kids sleeping in the other rooms of Evenfall Hall, going like “Brienne, honey, I just had the shittiest dream ever.” And then the two cuddle.

Yeah no, for real now though. I can spin myself more scenarios than that, all of which bear hope in some capacity, both within the canon as well as how I have set up my shipping habits. Which means I basically feel invincible right now. The worst that can happen is that I am dissatisfied with how their arcs will conclude, in which case I still have my community and fanfic to fix it. If it ends tragically but at least with recognition of feelings for one another, I will be sad but satisfied. If Jaime survives at least long enough to see Brienne one more time, I will cry like a baby but I will be okay because it will make clear where his heart was at last. and how it will always be hers. If it’s one of the more and most positive scenarios, I will be a happy customer and may gloat more than I should.

My most basic hope is that we get coherence where I currently find myself confused as to where the narrative is heading. There are things I don’t understand or can’t currently, based on the limited information we have, make sense of. I would hope for the show to clear up that much.

My more elaborate hope is that we get the confirmation of their mutual feelings for one another. That can go a multitude of ways, as outlined above, but that’s something I would really want/need to feel like their arcs came full circle, even if Jaime winds up dead.

My HYPE hopes are of course the rebirth scenarios. I don’ find them unlikely, but I don’t hold my breath for them to happen. If they do, I am happy. If they don’t, I won’t be disappointed enough to be sadder than I ought to be. I will try my best to use it as inspiration for fanart, fanfic, and editing.

So yeah… how can I go wrong? How can I be anything but hopeful? I hope for the best, accept the worst if it comes, and simply go on with my fandom life because that is the important aspect about it for me personally. I have amazing friends in this fandom and I can look back on years of one of the best shipping rides I ever undertook. We are canon in every sense of the term and that can’t be taken away from us (as someone once said so elegantly: you can’t unfuck someone). So my hopes are that I simply get to go on enjoying my fandom life in this fandom, then waiting for the books and taking the liberty to dissect the narrative in the light of its full context instead of only ever theorizing based on limited information. My hope is to continue to have awesome, inspiring, and productive discussions and theories and headcanons.

Those are my hopes, and I don’t see how they will ever be disappointed, no matter what may happen in the show next week, or in the infinity and beyond it will take for GRRM to finish those books. And I think that’s not just wishful thinking because the power to remain hopeful actually lies with me. I am the master of my shipping experience, of my fandom life, and as such, I can have all the positivity no matter the canon outcomes.

So yeah, I am a happy Wacky right now and I will continue to be.

And I do hope that some of that positivity will reach you, anon, and anyone else currently feeling like… a bunch of bricks are raining down on them. Sorry, I have to cut back on those puns, I know.

Anyway. To close now.

I am hopeful because I put my hope in my fandom experience, and in that way I cannot possibly lose - and anyone who decides to follow down the same path, you can’t lose either! So how about we continue to win together? I’d very much like that.

[healthy247]

How to eat healthily? 10 things to know.

How to eat healthily? For more than a decade, our societies have experienced a real awareness about their diet, and "healthy eating, eating better and responsible" is taking up more and more space in our lives. It's no secret, adopting a healthy and balanced diet helps the body to preserve itself and fight against diseases: consuming less processed products, less fat, and sugars, less salty food is one of the first habits to take.

But beyond the choice of food that you find on your plate, eating well is also eating in the right conditions, regularly, slowly and calmly. It is not difficult to eat healthily, you still have to have the will to disrupt some of your (bad) habits, to adopt beneficial reflexes on your health.

How to eat healthier?

Ten tips for eating better

1 - BAN PROCESSED, REFINED, AND ENRICHED PRODUCTS

Our supermarkets offer a good number of ready-made products and dishes, ideal for our hyperactive lifestyles where meals are often taken on the go. But, packed with saturated fatty acids, trans-fatty acids, artificial flavors, or colors, and other additives, they are far from our best health allies. All of these substances are risk factors for cardiovascular disease, allergies, and even cancer. Not to mention the problems of overweight and obesity.

Also, not content with quantities of salt and additives, metal cans, and plastic packaging encourage exchanges between the content and the container. In other words, specific chemical components used to make your metal packaging and boxes can be found directly on your food, which, in addition to destroying the taste qualities of food, is extremely bad for the body. Prefer, therefore, fresh products and glass jars.

Finally, fashion is today with the great miracle products, enriched with vitamins and nutrients to strengthen the immune system. It is clear that the Actimel & co are more of a marketing argument than a scientific demonstration; the studies carried out on these products are indeed far too little to be able to conclude as to their real virtues on the organism.

So take a little more time each day to prepare a healthy meal from essential foods (pasta, wholegrain rice, semolina, ...), vegetables, fruits, etc. So does your health. In general, nutritionists recommend not to exceed three additives per food (colors, preservatives, gelling agents, etc.). They are easily identified in the list of ingredients; they are all the elements preceded by the letter E.

2 - TRACK AND ELIMINATE SATURATED FATTY ACIDS, TRANS FATS, AND SUGARS

Responsible for the appearance of many pathologies, sometimes severe, saturated fatty acids, trans fats, and carbohydrates are not only present in large quantities in prepared meals.

For example Deli meats can contain up to 50% fat. It is therefore advisable to eliminate from its diet sausages, sausages, pâtés, and other rillettes. White ham, without rind and low in sodium, can be kept as long as it remains relatively lean. You can continue to eat fat, but then choose good fat!

For their part, sugary and alcoholic drinks are not to be outdone. For some sodas, a 1.5-liter bottle can represent 30 pieces of sugar — a real caloric bomb. And the names "light" or "without added sugar" are not always synonymous with "better for health." On the one hand, they do not prevent the product from being naturally very sweet; on the other hand, sugar is often replaced by sweeteners of the aspartame type, responsible, according to some studies, for many cancers. In reality, the effectiveness of light products on weight and health has never been scientifically demonstrated.

In general, favor fresh fruit and vegetable juices or "homemade" lemonades.

3 - CONSUME FRESH, LOCAL OR "HOME"

Eating healthy goes hand in hand with eating fresh or eating organic. So give preference to the small local producer, who offers fresh, seasonal fruits and vegetables, grown in good conditions without pesticides or fertilizers. Return to your local fishmonger and butcher, who know their distribution channels perfectly and offer quality products.

Some everyday foods can even be made "home," such as jam, sorbets, yogurt, bread, sauces. Not only will your products be healthy, with no additives, colors, or preservatives, but it will also save you money. Today we can no longer count the number of devices of all kinds that are coming back into fashion: bread maker, pressure cooker, ice cream maker, ... Just take the time.

Also, favor light cooking methods, which preserve the nutritional benefits of food, such as baking or steaming. Certain types of cooking, such as frying, are excessively fatty. Others, like the grill and the spit, can burn food, and therefore the nutrients it contains. Limit them.

4 - ACCOMPANY YOUR COMPLETE BREAD MEALS

When thinking about starting a diet, bread is often the first element that one withdraws from his eating habits, because it contributes to the increase in blood sugar levels. And yet, in a reasonable quantity, it contributes to the balance of all your meals. Doctors and nutritionists recommend daily consumption of bread between 60 and 100g. Rich in B vitamins, fiber, and protein, it is also shallow in fat. Avoid industrial bread and other sandwich bread, enriched with preservatives and salt, and favor whole grain bread, rich in fiber and cereals, such as rye, sourdough, or spelled bread.

5 - VARY THE FLAVORS WITH SPICES AND AROMATIC HERBS

If we know the taste qualities of spices and aromatic herbs in the seasoning of our dishes, their nutritional benefits, and their preventive action against certain diseases remain largely unsuspected. Clove, and its anti-inflammatory properties, curry, and its action on bad cholesterol, nutmeg, and its antibacterial properties, cinnamon, and its contribution in the regulation of digestive disorders,…

Not only do they provide no calories, but they naturally help limit the excessive consumption of salt, which is responsible for high blood pressure.

6 - EAT FISH TWICE A WEEK

Salmon, tuna, mackerel, herring, fish, whatever it is, is a basic ingredient for those who want to eat healthier. Rich in omega3 and vitamins A, B, and D, it turns out to be an excellent ally for the brain, skin, eyesight, heart, and degenerative diseases linked to aging.

The champion in all categories remains without question the sardine, whose edges are beneficial to the body. Packed with calcium, the sardine bones preserve and strengthen the bone tissue, thus preventing the appearance of diseases such as osteoarthritis or osteoporosis. Again, choose your local fishmonger rather than vacuum-sold fish.

7 - EAT FRUITS AND VEGETABLES

Impossible to eat healthy without going through the fruit and vegetable box; we all have in mind the famous refrain encouraging us to "eat five fruits and vegetables per day." This is especially true for vegetables, whose almost zero caloric intake and nutritional properties make them foods to eat at will. Crucifers (broccoli, cauliflower, Brussels sprouts, etc.) are particularly good for health, as they are rich in fiber, vitamin C, and beta-carotene.

It is preferable to consume fruits and vegetables in season; this is where they are tastiest and offer the best nutritional quality.

In autumn/winter, you will, therefore, opt for:

Clementine

Beet

The carrot

Spinach

Apple

The pear

In spring/summer, you would prefer:

The cucumber

The tomato

Nectarine

The strawberry

Remember that the skin of fruits and vegetables concentrates a large number of vitamins and antioxidant nutrients; do not hesitate to consume it having previously washed it thoroughly with water.

8 - EAT A VARIED AND DIVERSIFIED EATING

A healthy diet is a varied diet, which involves several families of food at each meal: fruits and vegetables, dairy products in an economical way, meats, eggs, fish or vegetable proteins, fats, and carbohydrates.

It is also a diversified diet; that is, who uses different products within the same food family. For example, the cereal and starchy family includes bread and rice as well as potatoes and pulses to vary with each meal. In the same way, it is advisable to alternate between meats, fish and eggs, or milk, cheeses, and yogurts.

9 - LEARN TO READ THE LABELS

Eating healthy is almost inseparable from good food education. Thus, to be certain of adopting a healthy and balanced diet, it is essential to know how to read and understand the labels of your products.

First, favor products with the red label, or the AB label (from organic farming). Also ban products stuffed with additives - preservatives, sweeteners, artificial flavors, ... - visible on the label under the letter E.

Also, keep in mind the recommended daily allowance. Thus, nutritionists advise not to exceed 10g of lipids per 100 g of food, 15g of carbohydrates per liter of drink, or even 1 g of salt per 100 g of food.

Finally, of course, respect the deadlines for consumption and optimal use. After these deadlines, the products can either have lost their nutritional properties or simply be unfit for consumption.

10 - Adopt good eating habits

Eating healthy isn't just about watching what's on your plate. It is also adopting good eating habits that will allow you to eat and digest in the best way.

Thus, it is fundamental to truly enjoy your meal by devoting the necessary time to it. Chew food for a long time. This will allow you not only to appreciate what you are tasting but also to secrete satiety hormones after 15 to 20 minutes. You will then eat less, and your digestion will be more comfortable. Also, be sure to consume raw foods at the start of a meal. They also facilitate absorption.

As you will have noticed, it is not so difficult to eat a healthy and balanced diet. Even if you have little time, for personal or professional reasons, these few tips are very simple to implement, with a minimum of will. Once your eating habits have been changed, the positive effects on your body will come soon.

[rdclsuperfoods]

There’s a famous Gandhi aphorism about how movements progress: “First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.” That was actually written by the Workshop on Nonviolence Institute as a summary of Gandhi’s philosophy, but regardless, it’s remarkable how often it accurately describes the evolution of causes, from legal cannabis to gay marriage. I’ve been thinking about that quote since I wrote my first piece about plant-based meat (or alt meat, as I like to call it) for Outside in 2014. Back then, we were firmly in the “laugh at you” stage. Beyond Meat, the first of the Silicon Valley startups to use advanced technology to produce extremely meat-like burgers, had been ignored for its first few years, but in 2014, it released its Beast Burger, which was treated by the press and public as a slightly off-putting curiosity. What was this stuff? Would anyone actually eat it? Ewwww.

That product wasn’t very good—I compared it to Salisbury steak—and when Ethan Brown, Beyond Meat’s founder, announced his intention to end livestock production, you could almost hear the National Cattlemen’s Beef Association laughing in the background.

But I didn’t laugh. I knew it would keep getting better and beef wouldn’t. And I thought the bar was pretty low. Sure, steak is great, but ground beef makes up 60 percent of beef sales, and most of it is more Salisbury than salutary, a greasy vehicle for the yummy stuff: ketchup, mushrooms, pickles, bacon, sriracha mayo. I knew I wouldn’t object if my central puck came from a plant, as long as it chewed right and tasted right. I suspected others might feel the same.

In the following years, Beyond Meat was joined by Impossible Foods, a more sophisticated startup with even more venture capital. Its Impossible Burger was way better than Salisbury steak. All the cool cats started serving it, from David Chang in New York to Traci Des Jardins in San Francisco. My conviction grew.

Part of the appeal of the new burgers is their smaller environmental footprint. Beef is the most wasteful food on the planet. Cows are not optimized to make meat; they’re optimized to be cows. It takes 36,000 calories of feed to produce 1,000 calories of beef. In the process, it uses more than 430 gallons of water and 1,500 square feet of land, and it generates nearly ten kilograms of greenhouse-gas emissions. In comparison, an Impossible Burger uses 87 percent less water, 96 percent less land, and produces 89 percent fewer greenhouse-gas emissions. Beyond Meat’s footprint is similarly svelte.

Yes, a good argument can be made that small-farm, grass-fed beef production (in places that can grow abundant grass) has a very different ethical and environmental landscape, but unfortunately, that’s just not a significant factor. America gets 97 percent of its beef from feedlots. And feedlots are irredeemable.

By 2018, sales of both the Beyond Burger and the Impossible Burger were surging, and the companies began to ink deals with restaurant chains. Beyond Meat got Carl’s Jr. and A&W (as well as supermarket chains like Food Lion and Safeway), while Impossible got White Castle.

I tracked down a White Castle shortly after the Impossible Slider arrived in the spring of 2018. I’d never been to a White Castle, so I ordered an Impossible Slider and a regular slider. The Impossible was...fine. About what you’d expect. White Castle steams all its meat, which is hard to get past, but with plenty of cheese, it went down easy. 

The regular slider, on the other hand, was horrific. I peeled back the pasty bun and stared at the fetid shingle inside. It was appallingly thin and grimy. It made the Impossible Slider look lush and juicy. The bar for fast-food burgers is even lower than I thought. Nobody will miss these shitty little brown things when they’re gone. 

Perhaps this explains why the chains are latching on to plant-based burgers as if they were life rings. White Castle initially tested its Impossible Slider in just a few locations in New York, New Jersey, and Chicago in April 2018. It was such a hit that the company quickly expanded the program to all 380 outlets. “People are coming back for it again and again,” White Castle’s vice president, Jamie Richardson, said with a touch of astonishment.

They’re coming back at Del Taco, too, which launched a Beyond Meat taco in April. Within two months, it had sold two million, one of the most successful product launches in its history, so it decided to add Beyond Meat burritos as well.

And then there’s Burger King. The second-largest fast-food chain in the world rattled big beef’s cage by testing an Impossible Whopper in St. Louis in April. Resulting foot traffic was so strong that Burger King decided to serve the Impossible Whopper in all 7,200 restaurants, marking the moment when alt meat stopped being alt. 

That was enough to get the meat industry to snap to attention. “About a year and a half ago, this wasn’t on my radar whatsoever,” said Mark Dopp, head of regulatory affairs for the North American Meat Association, to The New York Times. “All of a sudden, this is getting closer.” 

The strategy, predictably yet pathetically, was to engage in an ontological battle over the term meat itself. Big beef successfully lobbied for a labeling law in Missouri banning any products from identifying themselves as meat unless they are “derived from harvested production livestock or poultry.” (But this is wrong; the word simply meant sustenance for the first thousand years of its existence.) Similar labeling laws have passed or are pending in a dozen more states, most of them big ranching ones.

Obviously, none of this has stemmed the rise of alt meat. But it did make me think again of Gandhi (a staunch vegetarian, FYI). They ignored, they laughed, and now they were fighting. 

This stuff, I thought, just might win.

This year is shaping up to be the inflection point when this becomes obvious to everybody else. Beyond Meat’s products are in 15,000 grocery stores in the U.S., and its sales have more than doubled each year. On May 2, it held its IPO, offering stock at $25, which turned out to be a wild underestimation of what investors thought the company was worth. It immediately leaped to $46 and closed the day at $65.75. That one-day pop of 163 percent was one of the best in decades, putting to shame such 2019 IPOs as Lyft (21 percent) and Pinterest (25 percent), to say nothing of Uber (negative 3 percent). In the following days, it kept ripping, climbing above $150, where it has stayed. The market currently estimates Beyond Meat’s worth at close to $10 billion.

Not to be outdone, that same month, Impossible Foods raised an additional $300 million dollars from private investors (for a running total of $740 million and a valuation of $2 billion) and announced it would be joining Beyond Meat in America’s grocery stores later this year. These companies are no longer little mammals scurrying around the feet of the big-beef dinosaurs. And they are gearing up for an epic head-to-head battle.

Both Beyond Meat and Impossible Foods recently released new, improved versions of their meat. For the past week, I’ve subsisted on little else. It feels great. Both have the same amount of protein as ground beef (about 20 grams per quarter-pound serving) and less fat. Being plant-based, they also provide a healthy shot of fiber. Both get their unctuousness from coconut oil. 

But the core of each formula is very different. Beyond uses pea protein, while Impossible uses soy. Beyond gets its bloody color from beet juice; Impossible uses heme—the same molecule that makes our blood red—to achieve its meaty color and flavor. This is its killer app. Beef gets its beefiness from heme. When you cook heme, it produces the distinctive savory, metallic flavor of meat. Since heme is normally found in blood, no veggie concoction has ever used it. Soy plants do make microscopic amounts of it, but not enough to ever use. Impossible Foods’ breakthrough was to genetically engineer yeast to produce soy heme in a tank, like beer. This GMO process is a deal breaker for some people, but it makes all the difference. The Impossible Burger is incredible, the Beyond Burger merely passable. 

The Beyond Burger comes as two premade four-ounce patties (packaged in a plastic tray wrapped in more plastic—strike one). They don’t quite pass as hamburgers. They’re too wet and too pink. They almost resemble finely ground salmon burgers. They cook to a satisfying toothiness on either a grill or a griddle, but there’s an inexplicable cellulose quality to the texture. (This is even more pronounced in the Beyond Sausage.) The flavor is also slightly off. There’s a hint of fake smoke and an earthiness I’m guessing comes from the beet juice. (My wife would argue that it’s more than slightly off; she has to leave the room when the Beyond Burger is cooking. But she also hates beets.) It’s not an unpleasant experience, just don’t expect the burgergasm you get from a quarter pound of USDA prime.

Impossible Foods, on the other hand, has delivered burgergasm after burgergasm. It’s shine-up-the-Nobel-Prize good. Not only does it taste like ground beef, it looks and acts like it, too. It’s truly plug and play. 

That wasn’t true for the previous version. When I first wrote about Impossible Foods three years ago, I had to beg the company to send me one patty. It was hesitant. Back then, the burger was fussy. It didn’t work well on a grill, so you had to pan-fry it just right. The company made me do a Skype tutorial first, and when the micropatty arrived in a refrigerated box, with a special bun and special sauce, it was accompanied by pages of printed instructions. The burger was good, certainly the most meat-like plant patty up to that point, but it still tasted like a lite product—a little cleaner, a little less decadent, a little bit like filler.

This time, when I asked the company to send me a burger, a five-pound block of meat—clearly what it normally ships to food-service companies—arrived on my doorstep. No instructions, no hand-holding. It looked identical to ground beef, so that’s how I treated it. And that’s how it performed. I made sliders, kebabs, nachos, chili, Bolognese sauce, even a little tartare (note: the company frowns hard on this).

If I’m being honest, I find that I slightly prefer it to real beef. It’s rich and juicy, more savory, but still somehow cleaner and less cloying. Now when I go back to regular beef, I notice a whiff of the charnel house in it, something musty and gray that I don’t like and don’t need.

In the coming years, expect a lot of other omnivores to have similar epiphanies. Impossible Foods has performed more than 26,000 blind taste tests on its burger, which is on track to surpass ground beef in those tests in the near future. What happens then? Impossible has been laser focused on creating the perfect simulacrum of ground beef. But why? The cow never had a lock on gastronomic perfection. It was just the best we could do given the limitations of the natural material. Firelight was fine until electricity came along. Then things got really interesting.

Look for something similar to happen with alt meat. For now, it’s necessary to make people comfortable with the familiar, the way Steve Jobs loaded the early iPhones with faux felt and wood grain. But once people stop expecting burgers to refer to a hunk of flesh, the brakes on deliciousness will be released.

This will be generational. All change is. Most Baby Boomers are going to stick with their beef, right up to the point where their dentures can’t take it anymore. But Gen Z will find the stuff as embarrassing as Def Leppard and dad jeans. 

As this shift accelerates, the beef industry will lose its last advantage—price. Most offerings made with Beyond Meat and Impossible Foods are about a buck a burger more expensive. But it’s inherently cheaper to make a burger directly out of plants than it is to feed those plants to an animal first. Beef is currently cheaper because of scale. Big food companies can negotiate tremendously reduced prices for feed, and gigantic factories and supply chains are much more efficient to run.

But the playing field is leveling fast. Last week, Dunkin’ announced a new Beyond Sausage breakfast sandwich that will be just 14 cents more than the meat version. But more than anything Beyond Meat or Impossible Foods has accomplished, the true death knell for the cattlemen is how the mainstream food industry has embraced alt meat. Whole Foods just announced it will start selling burgers from the UK-based startup the Meatless Farm in all of its stores. Nestlé is launching its Awesome Burger this fall. Tyson Foods, America’s largest meat producer, just debuted its own plant-based nuggets, with more products to come. Tyson CEO Noel White said he expects Tyson “to be a market leader in alternative protein, which is experiencing double-digit growth and could someday be a billion-dollar business for our company.”

If that quote isn’t enough to send chills down the spine of any meat producer, try this one from Perdue Farms chairman Jim Perdue: “Our vision is to be the most trusted name in premium protein. It doesn’t say premium meat protein, just premium protein. That’s where consumers are going.”

And that’s where these companies will go. Beef is a headache. It comes with a lot of baggage to worry about: antibiotic resistance, E. coli outbreaks, animal welfare, climate change. It’s the kind of icky biological variable that corporate America would love to leave behind—and as soon as beef becomes less profitable, it will. 

Recent projections suggest that 60 percent of the meat eaten in 2040 will be alt, a figure I think may actually be too conservative. An estimated 95 percent of the people buying alt burgers are meat-eaters. This is not about making vegetarians happy. It’s not even about climate change. This is a battle for America’s flame-broiled soul. Meat is about to break free from its animal past. As traditional meat companies embrace alt meat with the fervor of the just converted, making it cheap and ubiquitious, it’s unclear if Beyond Meat or Impossible Foods can survive the feeding frenzy (though Impossible’s patents on its core IP may help), but at least they’ll be able to comfort themselves with a modern take on Gandhi’s wisdom:

First they ignore you. Then they laugh at you. Then they sue you. Then they try to buy you. Then they copy you. Then they steal your shelf space. Then they put you out of business. Then you’ve won.

via Outside Magazine: Nutrition

[terryblount]

Top 10 Most Optimized PC Games of 2019

And here is the article that most of you have been waiting for. As we’ve already said, 2019 was a pretty interesting year for PC gaming. This year we got some truly great looking PC games that ran like a charm on a huge range of PC configurations.

However, we should make it crystal clear that this is a “Best Optimized” list and not a “Best Graphics” list. As such, Quake 2 RTX, Control, Metro: Exodus and Red Dead Redemption 2 are not part of this list. While the aforementioned titles are easily the best looking PC games of 2019, they are not the most optimized ones.

But what do we consider an optimized PC game? In our opinion, a game that is optimized for the PC is one that can scale well on multiple CPU cores. We also take into account other issues, like stuttering and stability issues, mouse smoothing/acceleration, etc. Not only that, but the visuals/performance ratio plays a huge part here too.

In short, we’re examining a game’s technical aspect. This means that not only must game engines scale well on modern-day hardware, but developers must also ensure that things like PC-specific graphical features, PC technologies and PC controls are properly supported. We should also note that we’ve tested the latest patched versions of these games.

So, without further ado, here are our Top 10 Most Optimized PC Games of 2019.

10) APEX LEGENDS

Apex Legends is running well on the PC. The game does not require a high-end CPU in order to be enjoyed and we did not experience any latency issues. Thankfully, the game offers raw mouse input and does not suffer from any mouse acceleration or smoothing issues. Still, and while it’s for the most part a solid PC product, Apex Legends features some areas that are way more GPU demanding than we’d expect. Respawn has not addressed this issue, which is why the game is in 10th place.

9) Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order

Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order runs pretty great on the PC platform. Contrary to the console versions, the stuttering issues are not that awful on the PC. Respawn has released some patches that addressed some of the game’s issues. Moreover, the game can run with 60fps on a variety of PC configurations. While there is still room for improvement, the game now looks and runs great on the PC.

8) World War Z

World War Z is a really optimized PC title. Even though the Vulkan API currently has some issues, the game runs like a charm on a wide range of PC configurations even when using the DX11 API. World War Z does not require a high-end CPU or GPU, and looks on par with what you’d expect to see in a current-gen FPS.

7) Call of Duty: Modern Warfare

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare runs great on the PC platform. At launch, the game suffered from some truly annoying technical issues. Thankfully, Beenox has minimized the awful stuttering issues while loading a level. There are still some minor issues, however, COD: MW now looks and runs great on the PC.

6) RAGE 2

RAGE 2 runs like a charm on the PC platform. The game can run smoothly on a variety of PC configurations and scales amazingly well on multiple CPU cores/threads. Moreover, we did not experience any mouse acceleration or smoothing issues, though I do have to say that the default sensitivity values (when using iron sights) was a bit lower than expected. Naturally, the game displays proper on-screen K&M indicators and there is a Field of View slider for you to use.

5) Devil May Cry 5

Devil May Cry 5 is one of the most optimized PC games of 2019. Capcom’s latest action game looks beautiful and runs extremely well on a variety of PC configurations. Mouse controls are also great and there aren’t any mouse acceleration or smoothing issues. Unfortunately some of the default keys are not mapped correctly/ideally (I mean, who can press simultaneously Shift and CTRL while playing the game? Seriously Capcom?) however we could easily pull off most of the combos and get an “SSS” ranking so yeah. In short, Devil May Cry 5 is really enjoyable with a K&M. The game would have been higher on the list if it had larger environments. Unfortunately, and contrary to its “cousin”, DMC5 is not as ambitious as the following games.

4) Tom Clancy’s Ghost Recon Breakpoint

While as a game Ghost Recon Breakpoint is a big disappointment, we can all agree that it looks and runs great on the PC. This is easily one of the best looking open-world games out there. The game looks and runs better than Assassin’s Creed: Odyssey, Ghost Recon: Wildlands and Watch_Dogs 2. Ghost Recon Breakpoint’s PC version has a lot of graphics settings, it can scale on older hardware, and it does not suffer from mouse acceleration/smoothing issues.

3) Wolfenstein: Youngblood

Similarly to Ghost Recon Breakpoint, Youngblood was a disappointing game. However, Wolfenstein: Youngblood is one of the most optimized PC games of 2019. MachineGames has offered a lot of graphics settings to tweak. The game also runs silky smooth on older PC systems thanks to id Tech 6 Engine and the Vulkan API. Wolfenstein: Youngblood also proves how underused older high-end CPUs — those equipped with six CPU cores that support twelve threads — are in most modern-day triple-A titles. Here is hoping that more developers will follow id Software’s example and make their engines run faster on already existing hardware.

2) Gears 5

Gears 5 runs exceptionally well on the PC platform. The game does not require a high-end CPU and we did not experience any stuttering issues. The game also packs one hell of graphics settings to tweak, and it plays great with mouse and keyboard. It’s also worth noting that Gears 5 runs incredibly well on AMD’s hardware. While it does not push the PC graphics boundaries, Gears 5 is easily one of the most optimized PC games of 2019.

1) Resident Evil 2 Remake

Resident Evil 2 Remake is easily our most optimized PC games of 2019. Although the game does not require a high-end PC system, it looks gorgeous and can scale on multiple CPU cores. Capcom has also removed the Denuvo anti-tamper tech, and has implemented one of the best graphics settings menu we’ve seen to date. The K+M controls are also excellent with proper on-screen indicators. Now the main reason we consider Resident Evil 2 Remake better than Gears 5 is because it can sometimes look like a next-gen title. Yes, this is a more linear experience than Gears 5, however, the game looks and runs significantly better than it. Capcom has simply outdone itself, and we can’t wait to see what its next-gen games will look like.

The post Top 10 Most Optimized PC Games of 2019 appeared first on DSOGaming.

Top 10 Most Optimized PC Games of 2019 published first on https://touchgen.tumblr.com/

[entergamingxp]

King of Cards Review — Long Live the King!

December 17, 2019 2:30 PM EST

Yacht Club Games proves that their final Shovel Knight expansion, King of Cards, is no fool’s gold by making their best game to date.

It is no real secret that I love Shovel Knight. I’ve bought five copies just for myself and three more as gifts. I’ve got each soundtrack on vinyl, I’ve bought magazines with special interviews with studio, Yacht Club Games. Heck, I even did my own interview with some of the developers back in 2017 and covered the game for DualShockers at PAX East 2019.

Something that has been a secret was how I was not too hot on King Knight winning one of the Kickstarter backer polls to become one of the playable campaigns. Frankly, he seemed like the most boring choice when compared to the other knights in the Order of No Quarter. I have always had a hesitation to the decadent dandy having his own campaign, despite having the utmost faith in the overachievers that make up Yacht Club Games.

That hesitation has been replaced with enthusiasm. Shovel Knight: King of Cards is the best game in Shovel Knight: Treasure Trove. The character of King Knight soars in his jaunty tale alongside my favorite 8-bit knight gameplay to date. King of Cards is more of a sequel to the 2014 indie delight than some simple stretch goal checkbox. Yacht Club Games has outdone themselves in every single way for the grand finale.

“King of Cards is the best game in Shovel Knight: Treasure Trove.”

Set as another prequel in the Shovel Knight video game universe, King Knight is on a quest to defeat the Joustus Judges, three regal representatives of an increasingly popular card game that is sweeping all the lands. The winner will be showered in riches and could even become a king of their own. It is a simple and silly premise that aptly fits the persona of King Knight. Yacht Club Games’ pun-packed writing shines as you explore three worlds in search of treasure and glory.

The meat of the story comes from its colorful cast of characters. Traveling across the world maps lands King Knight on board of an airship that steadily fills up with tons of characters; both old and new. King Knight’s interactions with the cast, especially those with his mother, are a comedic delight. The plot is a foil to 2017’s Shovel Knight: Specter of Torment and its dark, tragic backstory. I frequently chuckled throughout the King of Cards plot as King Knight did a quest all his own way. There are plenty of delightful references throughout the game for fans that made me smile, too.

Unlike Specter of Torment, King of Cards brings back an overworld map. This is not some cut and paste with a map like that in Shovel Knight: Shovel of Hope or Shovel Knight: Plague of Shadows. This time around, Yacht Club Games took inspiration from Super Mario World. Instead of one map that reveals more of itself the more you play, there are three entire maps: Two of which are brand new two the series. Each world map is slammed with alternate paths that can only be unlocked by finding hidden alternate routes within the levels themselves. Red paths indicate that an alternate route can be found within the level. Never mandatory to advance, these hidden paths encourage you to replay levels and fully explore each dense world map. Replaying a level is equally enticing due to them being so much shorter than the previous games’ levels.

Almost every level in King of Cards contains only one checkpoint. These levels are snappy with a tight focus. Death never feels like a major setback, even if you shatter the checkpoint for the loot inside. While not as quick as respawning in platformers like Celeste or Super Meat Boy, King of Cards benefits from having the entire level be shorter. I found myself far more willing to stick with a tough challenge or to hop right back in a level to find all three Merit Medals or to hunt down a secret red path.

This short design also is far more adaptable to the numerous platforms that the game is available on. Out of the nine platforms King of Cards is available on, three of them can be played portably (3DS, Vita, and Switch). It is far more convenient to pop in and play one level or two than it has ever been for Shovel Knight. It also does not hamper the home console and PC platforms, giving players a sense of great accomplishment to complete and explore a bunch of levels in a single sitting.

“I truly love playing Joustus.”

The traditional start-to-finish levels are not the only level types packed into King of Cards. Items (dubbed heirlooms in the Shovel Knight universe) get their own short levels. They force you to use the item to complete them with an endless supply of vigor, the game’s version of mana or magic. I prefer this design rather than buying items from chests or at the hub world. It taught me practical use cases for each item I picked up. Each of these item levels also ends with a character joining your motley crew aboard the airship. I love meeting the wider cast this way. I learn about each character while accomplishing something I was setting out to do.

These heirloom levels alongside the traditional levels give players an active choice in how they want to spend their time. It keeps the game fresh over long periods of play, while giving the portable crowd a quick hit of gameplay before they have to put their console down. There is one more level type that gives folks a choice in how they want to spend their time. Actually, it’s quite more than a level type. It’s a whole other game, entirely optional, but a surprising delight worth every player’s time: Joustus.

Joustus is a grid-based, board possession focused card game. The cards have arrows that indicate which way they push other cards. Your goal is to have your card placed on the most green gem tiles by the time all the main squares have been occupied. The closest game I could relate it to is those sliding block puzzles that when arranged correctly make a picture. Joustus is more a positional puzzle than an attack/defense card game.

Each players’ deck can only have 16 cards and three are revealed to both you and the CPU at all times. This limited deck keeps Joustus from feeling overwhelming like Gwent or Pokémon TCG. The board can have a center of 2×2, 3×3, and plenty of other combinations. There is a border of “graveyard” squares where cards get pushed out to and can no longer be manipulated by players, unless a card with a special perk is used. The loser has to forfeit a card of the winner’s choosing from any card out on the board. If you happen to lose a card you wish you hadn’t, the salesman, Chester, can sell you back any card you lost, which is a nice option for completionists. Chester will also sell you cheat cards that can make the games easier, something that seems perfectly in character with King Knight. I did not use a cheat card, in part because I wanted to challenge myself, but also because there is an achievement for not using them.

I truly love playing Joustus. It triggers that puzzle solving part of my brain without having to memorize too many rules and abilities for cards with attacks and whatnot. It is simple in just the right ways, while allowing for mentally engaging rounds against the CPU. I wish there was some way to play Joustus against another person, but the Joustus houses and numerous characters on the airship offer plenty of opportunities to deck it out against foes.

“King Knight’s moves feel like an evolution of Shovel Knight’s slash and down thrust.”

As for the knight in shining armor himself, King Knight’s move set is platforming design gold. He has two main abilities that are intricately intertwined. Pressing attack will trigger a shoulder bash that dashes King Knight a set distance to either the left or the right. When King Knight makes contact with an enemy or a wall, he triggers his second move; bouncing into the air like a spinning top. This spin has the same bouncy properties of Shovel Knight’s down thrust letting players hop all around the screen. If you manage to spin off the top of an enemy or object, the shoulder bash recharges allowing you to keep the chain going.

What I love about this move pairing is the versatility of it. They work wonderfully against baddies while providing both horizontal and vertical platforming movement. If you fall into a pit and should bash into the wall, you can pop back up with the spin. Bouncing around feels incredibly precise, especially on the 8Bitdo SNES-inspired controller I was playing with. King Knight’s moves feel like an evolution of Shovel Knight’s slash and down thrust. This evolution has turned the gilded goof into my favorite knight to use.

Back with the original release of Shovel Knight back in 2014, Yacht Club Games established themselves as pixel wizards with their 8-bit vistas and iconic characters. Shovel Knight has always been a looker. King of Cards is pixelated eye candy, no matter what type of screen you are playing on. The visual design of each level is engaging. They are all connected, too. You can see a clear geographical story that is told through the visual design. You can clearly tell where one level leads into the next and where on the overworld map the level is located. It is a subtle touch that ties each level and the world-at-large together.

Yacht Club Games also got to stretch their art team to new lengths. With the inclusion of two brand new worlds, we get to see places never-before-seen in the Shovel Knight kingdom. It’s refreshing and exciting to experience, especially as a long time fan of the series.

The graphical achievement rings even louder when considering all the types of screens that King of Cards can be played on. Nine different platforms had to have become a daunting visual task. Consider the franchise’s origins on the Wii U and 3DS. The stereoscopic 3D is killer for King of Cards! It is a shame to think fewer people will get to see this effect in action the further away from the 3DS the market gets, but the 3D shines. The multiple planes bring new life to the NES aesthetic. On my New 3DS XL’s larger screen, I got a diorama feel from the 3D on full blast. It also helps separate the action by literally placing it front and center, which is a nice perk.

What about the Wii U? I mention the Wii U selfishly, because of one particular picture setting the system has—component video. You know, those green, blue, and red video cables? Because I am a mad man and my wife lets me keep a 24-inch CRT in the living room of our apartment, I decided to try playing Shovel Knight on a screen from the era that inspired it. The results filled me with a warm, fuzzy feeling of imagining a world where Shovel Knight did launch on the NES. King of Cards simply looks fantastic; no matter what screen you play it on.

“King of Cards is the crowning achievement in the long and rich history of Shovel Knight.”

Perfectly paired with the 8-bit art is composer Jake Kaufman’s chiptune soundtrack. Three expansions in, I was excited to see just how Jake would mix up his iconic Shovel Knight themes once again. Previous games expanded and built upon the themes, giving them a new edge to strike out with against your ears. For King of Cards, the themes you know and love are almost all the same. For the grand Shovel Knight finale, Jake opted to make brand new music for all the new content in King of Cards.

There are tons of new songs just for Joustus. They perfectly blend into the scene of the card game and may cause you to bob your head along while dealing out the cards. All-new themes were also made for new level themes like Troupple Pond. One classic that received a new spin was Pridemoor Keep, King Knight’s stage in the previous games. It has inspired the world map theme for the whole land of Pridemoor. Jake’s soundtrack is an exuberant delight that is a wonderful finale for Treasure Trove as a whole.

King of Cards has reinforced that age-old saying of not judging a shiny knight by his armor, even a Joustus Judge. Years of development, five total games, and countless hours of work shine through every pixel. Yacht Club Games has taken what could have been a palette swap far beyond what anyone imagined. King of Cards may be a narrative prequel to Shovel Knight, but it is truly a sequel in every way. Yacht Club Games has raised the bar for what Kickstarter stretch goals mean to their communities and the video game industry at large. King of Cards is the crowning achievement in the long and rich history of Shovel Knight. The decadent dandy proves to have more beneath that gold exterior than I ever thought could be possible. I haven’t been this happy to be proven wrong in a long time.

December 17, 2019 2:30 PM EST

from EnterGamingXP https://entergamingxp.com/2019/12/king-of-cards-review-long-live-the-king/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=king-of-cards-review-long-live-the-king

[1inawesomewonder]

From Sullivan Arena in Goffstown, NH – February 10, 2019:

It’s always nice to win on Senior Night but to beat an exceptional team, the defending champions of the league you play in, in a great game on your home ice. Well, that is something beyond special. Goffstown outlasted Keene 4-3 on a night where the senior’s effort was the theme throughout.

Before I get to the game, I have to make an attempt at thanks, at showing gratitude and hoping I don’t leave anyone out from the humble observations that I make in a given space. I catch a lot, but I miss even more.

I wish the ceremonies could be seen by hundreds, if not thousands if only for others to see how much preparation goes into a night like last night. I can’t begin to list the people who give of themselves, above and beyond to pull off a night like last night. 10 seniors are leaving the program, and with all of the families parading through this space and that place, it’s quite an undertaking. The members of the board, Friends of Hockey for Goffstown High, outstanding work and vigilance to tradition, to creativity, and to making it so easy for the senior families. Thank you, Al Potvin, for the voice, the reading, the announcements, and taking all of that that on, to the benefit of us all. Thank you to Tobey Gamache and everyone else who held a door, who saved a seat, who cleared the path, who called out names, who prompted the next move, who snapped photo after photo, who volunteered and gave of their time to make the honorees feel special; thank you. You all were outstanding. The flags, the bear, the flowers, the balloons, the jerseys, the signs (those were so awesome that I want to stop and look at them some more), the senior boards, the family and group pictures, all were incredible and just make the moment that much more special. The list is long but somehow the moment passes in a flash not so dissimilar to how quickly four years of high school seem to go. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I do believe our kids know what it feels like to feel special, even if it takes some distance in years to fully realize it. Wow, we are truly blessed.

Why are we blessed? These ten. Drive. Determination. Passion. Refusing to settle for the way it has been. (Sage Photo)

I heard both, first and second hand, commentary from folks gathered around the senior boards up on the concourse. There were conversations, explanations, laughs, memories, moments, achievements, and proof of a kid’s sheer passion to master a sport that separates itself from all others by the simple fact that it’s played on a pair of razor blades. For many, that pursuit of passion has consumed as much as 70% of these kids young lives thus far. The support system necessary to pull off such a feat is one of the things that has me believing, still, that hockey teams and hockey families are the best of the best, across all sports, mainly because the structure of family within the pursuit of passion is not matched in any other team sport.

They are almost done yet it seems likely they just bearly got started. (That play on words is for you Dad). (Sage Photo)

I am humbled and honored to be a part of this group. (Sage Photo)

Let’s fill this place! Only one more regular season home game. Be there Saturday the 16th! (Sage Photo)

The Captain greets his team onto the ice for a tilt with Keene. (Sage Photo)

Nobody has ever seen the Grizzlie and Sean Hunter in the same place at the same time. #ferocious (Sage Photo)

The rest of the Grizzlies welcome the this year’s seniors to the ice in pre-game ceremonies. (Sage Photo)

Fortunately the Grizzlies, and their seniors, did not come out flat on Senior Night against the defending D2 Champions, winning 4-3. (Photo by Charron)

Most rinks have boards, but not like these very special boards. (Photo by Charron)

They say that some Grizzlies are more intimidating than others. (Sage Photo)

Cook, Burke, Lassonde, Beal, Noonan starting on Senior Night. (Photo by Charron)

I am not a senior mom, but I know quite a few. I was fortunate enough to be present in my own home when we hosted 10 senior hockey moms on Saturday night. I did have to sign numerous pacts of secrecy, pledge various allegiances, complete a few ritualistic tasks, and create a special workstation to employ the greatest technical arts and crafts kit I have ever laid eyes on, just to be allowed to continue with my humble ramblings. In the end, it was one of the best nights of the last four years. The stories, the sense of excitement to be kid-free for a night, the sense of humor, the collective time spent over the years, all of us together in our family room. All the moms, preparing as only moms can, for a visual presentation, the culminating of all the years, essentially leading to the high school sports version of a retirement night for 10 outstanding kids and their families. It is almost too much for me to even contemplate capturing. Let me just say that we had so much fun that our calendars are already being prepped for next year’s meeting; senior night, or not. 

If you’re not making a face similar to this, you might want to step up your game a notch or two. (Sage Photo)

Kyle, the backstop, with Alex McCarthy out front. (Sage Photo)

Jacob Noonan leans into a shot with all the seniors posted behind him. Colby netted this rebound. (Sage Photo)

Sometimes a goaltender has to stand on his head to stand tall in a game. Kyle did a little of that too in the 4-3 win over Keene. (Sage Photo)

It’s an optical illusion. Once this game got going it was like the Grizzlies were skating down hill. (Sage Photo)

Colin Burke delights the Goffstown home crowd with his derring-do. (Photo by Charron)

The one, the only, Devin Cote. Glad he came back this season. (Photo by Charron)

Senior, forward, Alex McCarthy. (Photo by Charron)

Okay, I am sorry to get off track or wherever I am but those moms apply a lot of pressure, there are royalties, speaking engagements, craft fairs, etc. lined up. It may have been a night that was a little too big for its’ own britches. Under the agreement, I am now supposed to write, for next year’s gathering, “Bring your own slippers”. Make of it what you will. I am a good soldier.

Alrighty then, the spotlight was dimmed, and the rink lights were raised to game time level. Lineups were announced while taking a moment to recognize the seniors on Keene’s roster as well. Then, GHS student, Serena Martinez crushed it completely! When she opened the game with a tremendous singing of our National Anthem. I was standing right beside her and the sweet, soft tones of her voice did the difficult song justice and then some. Thank you for being a part of the evening for all of us. 

Sorry boys, I gotta get going. (Sage Photo)

Brett Lassonde skated with the wind at his back all night. (Sage Photo)

This is not an optical illusion. Jake is actually looking over his own shoulder. (Sage Photo)

This ain’t no slow dance. Make some noise and let’s rock this place! (Sage Photo)

Teammate behavior. (Sage Photo)

Goffstown erupted for 3 goals in the second period in their 4-3 win over Keene. (Sage Photo)

Theo, Grady, Luke, and Lassonde line up against Keene. (Sage Photo)

Chretien skates circles around opponents on a regular basis. (Sage Photo)

Calm as the other side of the pillow (RIP Stuart Scott), Noonan is another name for “no sweat”. (Sage Photo)

Theo Milianes tries to keep both feet inbounds while making the catch, but he was overthrown. (Sage Photo)

The game finally started and both teams were playing with good energy. Keene had just played on Saturday and ended Oyster River’s 7-0-1 unbeaten streak with a 5-1 win and raising their win streak to 3 in a row after losing 3 in a row. Goffstown hadn’t played since Feb. 2nd when they lost at Windham, because their game at John Stark on Wednesday night had been winter weathered out. Pleasantries were immediately renewed when Jerred Tattersall braced for a hit from Sebastian Beal in the opening seconds and butt-ended Beal in the throat when both players got their sticks up. No calls were made until the second period. Then, when Grady Chretien lost the puck in the offensive zone out high, Jerred Tattersall beat Colin Burke, who let up about two strides too early, to the front of the net and scored an unassisted goal at 4:10 of the period. It was Keene’s first shot on net. Not to be outdone, the Grizzlies answered with a goal of their own 55 seconds later. Colby Gamache made a nice little pass at center ice to Griffin Cook who carried the puck into the offensive zone. Cook and Sebastian Beal exchanged shots and rebounds before Cook buried the puck in the net, and the game was tied 1-1 at 5:05 of the period. After some back and forth play with Keene playing noticeably more aggressive offensively than in their first meeting out in Keene, the Black Birds got on the board again. Brian Langevin, who I call one of the best distributors of the puck in D2 because he puts the puck in good places at the right time consistently, set the goal up. Tyler Summers shot a puck over the net that was retrieved by Langevin who gave a little chip pass to Ben Brown in the corner. Langevin kept skating toward the end boards and got the puck back on a little touch pass from Brown. Langevin continued behind the net and dished a perfect backhand pass to Summers who had closed the gap, coming in from the right point. Summers met little resistance out front and put a shot off of the inside of the far post for the go-ahead goal at 9:29. So after one period, Keene led 2-1 on the board, while the Grizzlies had a slim lead in shots, 11-9. 

Everybody is on their feet when Brett Lassonde requests a bench fly-by. (Photo by Charron)

Grady Chretien hustles so much, he once dove head first onto the ice to start a shift. (Photo by Charron)

Isaac McGregor lines up next to legendary guitarist, Joe Walsh. (Photo by Charron)

Isaac McGregor moves the puck against Keene. (Photo by Charron)

Jacob Noonan, Senior, defenseman on the move against Keene. (Photo by Charron)

Theo, the puck, and a little room to skate against Keene. (Photo by Charron)

Sebastian gets pulled over by a very heavy puck, or something like that. (Photo by Charron)

Griffin Cook loves to play in the snow. (Photo by Charron)

Word has spread around the league that when you see this scene unfold, there may be an update needed on the scoresheet. (Photo by Charron)

Alex McCarthy leans on his opponent once in awhile. (Photo by Charron)

Sebastian Beal uses the power of his mind the lift the puck to his stick. (Photo by Charron)

Eric DesRuisseaux uses his speed to get up the ice against Keene. (Photo by Charron)

The second period was barely underway when Jerred Tattersall cross-checked Colby Gamache in the right kidney area and dropped him flat on the ice. Then he followed Griffin Cook to the corner while the official had his arm in the air on a delayed penalty call and dropped him in the corner. Although Cook looked like he lost an edge anyway. After much discussion, the officials called a 5-minute major for interference on Tattersall. Either way, the Grizzlies went on a 5-minute power play trailing by a single goal, just 50 seconds into the period. Goffstown tied the game shortly thereafter, on a beautiful hockey play. Sebastian Beal sent a diagonal pass back to the right point but it was off the mark and Colin Burke used his reach and a long stick that was probably handed down by Paul Bunyan to deflect the puck to Grady Chretien and maintain possession. Chretien got pinned against the boards but manage to get the puck back to Burke who let a nice wrist shot go towards the net. Sebastian Beal had gone to the front of the net and made a sensational play, tipping the puck from a waist-high shot that was going wide, down to the ice and past Jacob Russell in net for Keene. The game was tied again at 2:24.

There’s nothing like strength in numbers, and everything feels better when you win. (Sage Photo)

Sebastian flexes in front of the home crowd in the win against Keene. (Photo by Charron)

Colby Gamache calculates the exact trajectory and angle needed to bank this clearing attempt off of the glass, and put the puck on net to avoid icing. (Sage Photo)

Still, on the man-advantage, Chretien made a pass from center ice ahead to Burke who shaked-baked-rattled-and-rolled into an open seam and fed a perfect pass back to Griffin Cook who ripped a shot through traffic and into the net at 3:45. Colby Gamache and Sebastian Beal provided a screen that Jacob Russell was trying to see around when the puck hit the strings. Goffstown led 3-2 and was still on the power play for another 2:06. Momentum would shift in a big way though after Goffstown looked unstoppable on the power play, Sebastian Beal got tangled up with Peter Haas and dropped him from behind. Beal was only whistled for interference but it changed the flow of the game completely. Keene went on the offensive. Kyle LaSella made a series of saves including a textbook right pad save midway through the period to hold the lead. Even though the Grizzlies would play a strong period the rest of the way, they had to kill another penalty and you could see their energy depleting quickly. The home town squad did tally an even-strength goal at 13:08. The whole offense was involved on the play when Griffin Cook, Sebastian Beal, and Colin Burke all touched the puck before Jacob Noonan stepped in and ripped a shot off of Russell’s shoulder. The puck landed in front of the goaltender and Colby Gamache showed off his hands with a beautiful backhand shot up under the crossbar inside the far post where grandma hides the really expensive Christmas gifts. Goffstown outshot Keene 17-5 in the period and put up three unanswered goals to take a 4-2 lead into the dressing room.

Hard work rewarded. Working too hard to celly. (Sage Photo)

The third period was a war of attrition. Goffstown played with good pace for the first 5 minutes or so, holding a 2-goal lead and trying to put the game away. The Grizzlies and their faithful thought for sure they had a 5-2 lead when Grady Chretien put a shot past Jacob Russell but Tyler Summers was on the back doorstep and made the save for Russell and Keene. But Keene kept pressing, and Goffstown’s legs looked a bit weary. Eight minutes into the period LaSella bailed out a tired squad in front of him with a pair of saves on the skilled Brian Langevin and the rebound follow up by Joe Walsh. Then just 28 seconds later Dimitri Seger found himself wide open in the high slot after the puck took a crazy bounce off of the glass on the right wing boards. LaSella, said I got this and snagged the shot with his glove.

LaSella played well and had eyes on the team’s 10th win of the season. (Sage Photo)

At 9:39 of the period the Grizzlies were whistled for icing when Grady Chretien banked a lifted puck off of the glass in his own end that traveled the length of the ice and gave Keene an offensive zone faceoff. Looking back it I am guessing Chretien would have realized he had some time and some space to skate the puck out of the zone. Brian Langevin won the faceoff to Joe Walsh who shot the puck towards the net, but it caromed off of Griffin Cook’s thigh and onto the stick of Jerred Tattersall who didn’t miss with his shot. Suddenly it was a 1-goal game with 5:17 to play. Goffstown mustered enough will and enough offensive pressure to keep Russell between the pipes until 14:34 and then it was too late for the Black Birds. Keene outshot Goffstown 9-7 in the period, scored the only goal of the third, but couldn’t overcome a devastating second period, and fell 4-3. Goffstown improved to 10-3-1 on the season. Keene dropped to 7-5. Both teams are likely to be in the postseason and could very well meet again.

Colin takes Kyle LaSella under his wing for a moment while Brett makes sure that the coast is clear. (Photo by Charron)

With the win Coach, Ben Slocum bettered his own Goffstown program record with his 4th consecutive campaign coaching the team to at least 10 wins in the regular season. The Grizzlies travel to play a feisty Winnacunnet team at Phillips Exeter Academy on Wednesday night. Goffstown has Winnacunnet, Oyster River, John Stark-Hopkinton, and Alvirne-Milford left on the schedule. That’s not an easy finish, especially with three of these games on the road. Look out for John Stark-Hopkinton. They are 17-0 this season with a slight 100-19 edge in scoring over their opponents this season.

Somehow in my mind, this has to be a similar feeling to what a young gazelle goes through when spying Griffin Cook with the puck on his stick and room to operate. (Sage Photo)

NHIAA Hockey: Updated Records: Goffstown (10-3-1) Keene (7-5-0)

Senior Night

Sullivan Arena, St. Anselm College, Goffstown, NH February 10, 2019. 5:00 PM Start:

Kyle LaSella, thanks for coming to play hockey as a sophomore. Still standing. (Sage Photo)

Summary:

Goals:

Goffstown: 1-3-0 = 4 Keene: 2-0-1 = 3

Shots:

Goffstown: 11-17-07 = 35 Keene: 09-05-09 = 23

Scoring:

1st Keene at 4:10. Even. Jerred Tattersall unassisted.

1st Goffstown at 5:05. Even. Griffin Cook (22) from Sebastian Beal (24) and Colby Gamache (22).

1st Keene at 9:29. Even. Tyler Summers from Brian Langevin and Ben Brown.

2nd Goffstown at 0:24. PPG. Sebastian Beal (12) from Colin Burke (12) and Grady Chretien (5).

2nd Goffstown at 8:57. PPG. Griffin Cook (23) from Colin Burke (13) and Grady Chretien (6).

2nd Goffstown at 9:51. Even. Colby Gamache (16) from Jacob Noonan (7).

3rd Keene at 9:43. Even. Jerred Tattersall from Joe Walsh and Brian Langevin.

Penalties:

Goffstown:

Sebastian Beal 2:00 Interference

Bench 2:00 Too many men

Keene:

Jerred Tattersall 5:00 Interference

Special Teams:

Goffstown Power Play: 2 for 3. Keene Power Play: 0 for 2.

Saves: Goffstown:

Kyle LaSella 20 of 23. (45:00)

Keene:

Jacob Russell 31 of 35. (44:34)

Hockey: Goffstown 4 vs. Keene 3 (Senior Night) From Sullivan Arena in Goffstown, NH - February 10, 2019: It's always nice to win on Senior Night but to beat an exceptional team, the defending champions of the league you play in, in a great game on your home ice.

[fairchildlingpo1]

3 Brilliant Examples of Brand Storytelling You May Have Missed

We have been sharing stories from the beginning of human civilization — for good reason. Stories captivate our attention and build communities by bringing ideas, emotions, and experiences to life in a memorable way. So much so, that companies are increasingly embracing brand storytelling in the era of the connected digital consumer.

What is Brand Storytelling?

Brand storytelling is defined as the art of shaping a company’s identity through the use of narratives and storytelling techniques that facilitate an emotional response and establish meaningful connections.

When done correctly, research shows the powerful impact storytelling can have on us:

Stories are 22 times more memorable than facts & figures alone

Our neural activity increases 5X when listening to a story

Storytelling lights up the sensory cortex in the brain, allowing the listener to feel, hear, taste, and even smell the story

As a result, in a time when captivating consumer attention is the ultimate commodity, it has never been more important for companies to tell the right stories. The stories that stop us in our tracks, the stories that move us to tears, the stories that challenge us and change our perspective.

In a time when captivating consumer attention is the ultimate commodity, it has never been more important for companies to tell the right stories. Click To Tweet

There’s a magical spark that happens when consumers truly connect with a brand’s story, but how do companies source those unicorn, one-of-a-kind stories? Inspired by our book, The Laws of Brand Storytelling, here are three brilliant examples of brand storytelling you may have missed.

Brand Storytelling Example 1: The Land Of Land Rovers Campaign

Land Rover Showcases Why The Best Stories Come From Others

In celebration of Land Rover’s 70th anniversary, the company brought to life the true story of, “The Land of Land Rovers,” a remote area in the Indian Himalayas. The video tells the story of the local drivers who rely on a fleet of meticulously maintained 1957 Land Rover vehicles to provide transport and supplies along the treacherous mountain roads between two small villages, Maneybhanjang and Sandakphu.

To bring this remarkable story to life, Land Rover’s team made the village of Maneybhanjang their home for ten days in order to get to know these brave drivers and experience their everyday life. The end result delights the viewer with its stunning cinematography, while hearing from the drivers and villagers only further reinforces the incredible off-road capabilities of Land Rover vehicles.

The Best Stories Are Not Your Own

Land Rover’s campaign offers a brilliant example and a reminder that the best stories are not your own, but those of your customers and your fans. Sourcing those stories might be tough, but when you find those that truly touch people’s hearts, invest in bringing them to life and prioritize them over your product message.

The best stories are not your own, but those of your customers and your fans. Click To Tweet

Your Action Item: Get to Know Your Customers

To uncover the best customer stories, our best tip is to invest in getting to know your customers. From asking for customers to share their stories and memories with your company or products through social media or email campaigns, to running contests to encourage stories, top companies create a culture of sharing and storytelling.

Additionally, look at the many customer-facing touchpoints in your business, from sales to customer care, public relations, retail employees, and more. Employees on the front lines always have the best stories, but don’t necessarily know who to share them with. Whether it’s through regular check-ins, internal contests or targeted employee communications in newsletters or in the employee break room in-store, create processes for employees to share.

Brand Storytelling Example #2: Ikea’s Improve Your Private Life Campaign

IKEA Singapore Highlights The Power Of Humor In Storytelling

Every company speaks to the value of their products and services, but how many successfully turn those products or services into a laugh-out-loud funny yet relatable story? Consider taking a page from IKEA Singapore’s Shelf Help Guru campaign. The video campaign stars Fille Güte, a ‘Shelf Help Guru,’ who wants to take IKEA customers on a journey of ‘shelf discovery’ to improve their private lives in their most private areas: their bedrooms and bathrooms.

What makes the video shine is how it uses cheeky scenarios and hilarious puns to illustrate practical storage and furniture solutions from IKEA. The use of humor is spot on, truly captivating the viewer while positioning IKEA as the go-to retail store for improving your home.

However, what’s also exciting about this example of brand storytelling from IKEA Singapore is how the company continued the storyline with its customers on Facebook with a Shelf Help Guru Contest. In the contest, IKEA Singapore challenged fans to ask its Shelf Help Guru a question on how to improve their bedroom or bathroom for a chance to win a $50 gift card. Although a seemingly simple idea, IKEA Singapore had its Shelf Help Guru personally respond to every comment with a funny meme answering the person’s question with a link to the relevant IKEA product page.

Don’t Be Afriad to Get Personal with Your Customers

IKEA Singapore’s campaign speaks the fact that companies shouldn’t be afraid to get personal with their customers, even if it means poking a little fun at yourself. While humor can be hard to master, our best tip is to flex your funny bone aligned with your brand voice and values. Humor should be an extension of your brand voice and incorporated into your wider marketing and storytelling strategy. The brands with the best and most authentic tone of voice, in addition to the most humorous brands, are the ones that deeply know who they are and what makes them special. These brands also deeply understand how their customers perceive them, plus their needs, wants and wishes. The ‘secret sauce’ comes from translating these insights, values and key differentiators into a clever communications style that banishes boring in favor of personality.

Additionally, IKEA’s campaign showcases how succeeding in today’s digital age calls for more than just campaigns but for creating positive experiences for your customers.

Your Action Item: Connect with Your Customer-Service Facing Employees so They Understand Key Messages to Communicate

An actionable tip is to connect with your customer-facing employees, such as community managers and customer service reps. These folks are on the front lines of speaking and interacting with customers each and every day. This campaign is a good reminder of just how valuable their efforts are in further driving engagement around your brand storytelling efforts.

It’s one thing to tell an incredible story, but the reality is that the story is just the beginning. For example, when we tell stories to our friends and family, it sparks a reaction and a conversation among the storyteller and the recipient. Why wouldn’t we want the same as companies? As you develop your brand stories, make sure to factor in engagement activities to further amplify and activate your community around them. Make sure your customer-facing employees know the “back story,” from the inspiration, key messages and why the story matters so they are empowered to continue the conversation.

Brand Storytelling Example #3: Sanlam Bank’s #OneRandMan Campaign

Sanlam Bank Showcases How Storytelling Can Spark Change

Not to be outdone by their consumer counterparts, the financial services industry can still be put human reality at the heart of their stories. The following example from Sanlam Bank may not be a tearjerker, but it firmly establishes itself as an example of storytelling that helps people live better lives.

In South Africa, research shows that most people do not save much of their salary. So much so, that household debt averages about 75% of their after-tax income. To educate South Africans about the importance of saving money, Sanlam Bank launched a 5-part web series called One Rand Man, featuring a young professional who embarks on a social experiment – getting paid only in one rand coins. For context, one rand coin is about seven cents in U.S. currency. The video series documents his trials and tribulations of paying for everyday expenses in coins. Each week, Sanlam Bank also joined forces with respected local personal finance news outlets to share advice and tips based on the issues faced by the One Rand Man.

The Results

Telling the story of One Rand Man, combined with valuable personal finance thought leadership, sparked a chord in South Africans. The video series was watched over 900,000 times, making it the most-watched ad on YouTube in South Africa during the time of the campaign. Furthermore, the effort generated over 74 million media impressions, earning over 41 million rand worth of media exposure for the company (approx $2.8M U.S. dollars). The wild success of One Rand Man spawned One Rand Family and other similar episodic spin-offs, further inspiring and educating South Africans around the importance of personal finance and saving money.

Whether you’re trying to spark change or prove to a customer why your products or services are a good fit for them, seek out stories that are either true or highly relatable.

To connect with your audience, seek out stories that are either true or highly relatable. Click To Tweet

Even though One Rand Man wasn’t a true story, seeing how a big pile of one rand coins quickly was spent in a month was highly visual and allowed South Africans to empathize with expenses in their everyday lives. Comical scenarios like trying to pay for bills in hundreds of coins kept the content interesting, while using the storyline to feed into expert advice and tips added credibility. It also showcases the power of brand storytelling, combined with personalized content and thought leadership, can drive web traffic, sales, demo requests, and more.

Your Action Item: Leverage Visual Storytelling to Bring Your Stories to Life

An actionable tip for businesses is to leverage visual storytelling to bring your stories to life. As humans, we are wired to process visual information more efficiently, so much so that it makes our stories more memorable:

Visuals are processed 60,000 times faster than text by the human brain.

90% of information transmitted to the brain is visual.

People can recall 65% of the visual content that they see almost three days later, compared to 10% of written content.

In order for companies to cut through the clutter, focus on how your visuals can support or take the lead in your storytelling efforts. Whether it’s a blog post with supporting visuals or an inspirational video, the more companies can ensure consistency of message in every element of their storytelling efforts, the more they will connect with their audiences.

Are you ready to tell your brand’s story?

Ekaterina Walter and Jessica Gioglio are the co-authors of The Laws of Brand Storytelling: Win―and Keep―Your Customers’ Hearts and Minds (Nov. 2018).

The post 3 Brilliant Examples of Brand Storytelling You May Have Missed appeared first on Convince and Convert: Social Media Consulting and Content Marketing Consulting.

http://bit.ly/2FyxmDu

[christinesumpmg1]

3 Brilliant Examples of Brand Storytelling You May Have Missed

We have been sharing stories from the beginning of human civilization — for good reason. Stories captivate our attention and build communities by bringing ideas, emotions, and experiences to life in a memorable way. So much so, that companies are increasingly embracing brand storytelling in the era of the connected digital consumer.

What is Brand Storytelling?

Brand storytelling is defined as the art of shaping a company’s identity through the use of narratives and storytelling techniques that facilitate an emotional response and establish meaningful connections.

When done correctly, research shows the powerful impact storytelling can have on us:

Stories are 22 times more memorable than facts & figures alone

Our neural activity increases 5X when listening to a story

Storytelling lights up the sensory cortex in the brain, allowing the listener to feel, hear, taste, and even smell the story

As a result, in a time when captivating consumer attention is the ultimate commodity, it has never been more important for companies to tell the right stories. The stories that stop us in our tracks, the stories that move us to tears, the stories that challenge us and change our perspective.

In a time when captivating consumer attention is the ultimate commodity, it has never been more important for companies to tell the right stories. Click To Tweet

There’s a magical spark that happens when consumers truly connect with a brand’s story, but how do companies source those unicorn, one-of-a-kind stories? Inspired by our book, The Laws of Brand Storytelling, here are three brilliant examples of brand storytelling you may have missed.

Brand Storytelling Example 1: The Land Of Land Rovers Campaign

Land Rover Showcases Why The Best Stories Come From Others

In celebration of Land Rover’s 70th anniversary, the company brought to life the true story of, “The Land of Land Rovers,” a remote area in the Indian Himalayas. The video tells the story of the local drivers who rely on a fleet of meticulously maintained 1957 Land Rover vehicles to provide transport and supplies along the treacherous mountain roads between two small villages, Maneybhanjang and Sandakphu.

To bring this remarkable story to life, Land Rover’s team made the village of Maneybhanjang their home for ten days in order to get to know these brave drivers and experience their everyday life. The end result delights the viewer with its stunning cinematography, while hearing from the drivers and villagers only further reinforces the incredible off-road capabilities of Land Rover vehicles.

The Best Stories Are Not Your Own

Land Rover’s campaign offers a brilliant example and a reminder that the best stories are not your own, but those of your customers and your fans. Sourcing those stories might be tough, but when you find those that truly touch people’s hearts, invest in bringing them to life and prioritize them over your product message.

The best stories are not your own, but those of your customers and your fans. Click To Tweet

Your Action Item: Get to Know Your Customers

To uncover the best customer stories, our best tip is to invest in getting to know your customers. From asking for customers to share their stories and memories with your company or products through social media or email campaigns, to running contests to encourage stories, top companies create a culture of sharing and storytelling.

Additionally, look at the many customer-facing touchpoints in your business, from sales to customer care, public relations, retail employees, and more. Employees on the front lines always have the best stories, but don’t necessarily know who to share them with. Whether it’s through regular check-ins, internal contests or targeted employee communications in newsletters or in the employee break room in-store, create processes for employees to share.

Brand Storytelling Example #2: Ikea’s Improve Your Private Life Campaign

IKEA Singapore Highlights The Power Of Humor In Storytelling

Every company speaks to the value of their products and services, but how many successfully turn those products or services into a laugh-out-loud funny yet relatable story? Consider taking a page from IKEA Singapore’s Shelf Help Guru campaign. The video campaign stars Fille Güte, a ‘Shelf Help Guru,’ who wants to take IKEA customers on a journey of ‘shelf discovery’ to improve their private lives in their most private areas: their bedrooms and bathrooms.

What makes the video shine is how it uses cheeky scenarios and hilarious puns to illustrate practical storage and furniture solutions from IKEA. The use of humor is spot on, truly captivating the viewer while positioning IKEA as the go-to retail store for improving your home.

However, what’s also exciting about this example of brand storytelling from IKEA Singapore is how the company continued the storyline with its customers on Facebook with a Shelf Help Guru Contest. In the contest, IKEA Singapore challenged fans to ask its Shelf Help Guru a question on how to improve their bedroom or bathroom for a chance to win a $50 gift card. Although a seemingly simple idea, IKEA Singapore had its Shelf Help Guru personally respond to every comment with a funny meme answering the person’s question with a link to the relevant IKEA product page.

Don’t Be Afriad to Get Personal with Your Customers

IKEA Singapore’s campaign speaks the fact that companies shouldn’t be afraid to get personal with their customers, even if it means poking a little fun at yourself. While humor can be hard to master, our best tip is to flex your funny bone aligned with your brand voice and values. Humor should be an extension of your brand voice and incorporated into your wider marketing and storytelling strategy. The brands with the best and most authentic tone of voice, in addition to the most humorous brands, are the ones that deeply know who they are and what makes them special. These brands also deeply understand how their customers perceive them, plus their needs, wants and wishes. The ‘secret sauce’ comes from translating these insights, values and key differentiators into a clever communications style that banishes boring in favor of personality.

Additionally, IKEA’s campaign showcases how succeeding in today’s digital age calls for more than just campaigns but for creating positive experiences for your customers.

Your Action Item: Connect with Your Customer-Service Facing Employees so They Understand Key Messages to Communicate

An actionable tip is to connect with your customer-facing employees, such as community managers and customer service reps. These folks are on the front lines of speaking and interacting with customers each and every day. This campaign is a good reminder of just how valuable their efforts are in further driving engagement around your brand storytelling efforts.

It’s one thing to tell an incredible story, but the reality is that the story is just the beginning. For example, when we tell stories to our friends and family, it sparks a reaction and a conversation among the storyteller and the recipient. Why wouldn’t we want the same as companies? As you develop your brand stories, make sure to factor in engagement activities to further amplify and activate your community around them. Make sure your customer-facing employees know the “back story,” from the inspiration, key messages and why the story matters so they are empowered to continue the conversation.

Brand Storytelling Example #3: Sanlam Bank’s #OneRandMan Campaign

Sanlam Bank Showcases How Storytelling Can Spark Change

Not to be outdone by their consumer counterparts, the financial services industry can still be put human reality at the heart of their stories. The following example from Sanlam Bank may not be a tearjerker, but it firmly establishes itself as an example of storytelling that helps people live better lives.

In South Africa, research shows that most people do not save much of their salary. So much so, that household debt averages about 75% of their after-tax income. To educate South Africans about the importance of saving money, Sanlam Bank launched a 5-part web series called One Rand Man, featuring a young professional who embarks on a social experiment – getting paid only in one rand coins. For context, one rand coin is about seven cents in U.S. currency. The video series documents his trials and tribulations of paying for everyday expenses in coins. Each week, Sanlam Bank also joined forces with respected local personal finance news outlets to share advice and tips based on the issues faced by the One Rand Man.

The Results

Telling the story of One Rand Man, combined with valuable personal finance thought leadership, sparked a chord in South Africans. The video series was watched over 900,000 times, making it the most-watched ad on YouTube in South Africa during the time of the campaign. Furthermore, the effort generated over 74 million media impressions, earning over 41 million rand worth of media exposure for the company (approx $2.8M U.S. dollars). The wild success of One Rand Man spawned One Rand Family and other similar episodic spin-offs, further inspiring and educating South Africans around the importance of personal finance and saving money.

Whether you’re trying to spark change or prove to a customer why your products or services are a good fit for them, seek out stories that are either true or highly relatable.

To connect with your audience, seek out stories that are either true or highly relatable. Click To Tweet

Even though One Rand Man wasn’t a true story, seeing how a big pile of one rand coins quickly was spent in a month was highly visual and allowed South Africans to empathize with expenses in their everyday lives. Comical scenarios like trying to pay for bills in hundreds of coins kept the content interesting, while using the storyline to feed into expert advice and tips added credibility. It also showcases the power of brand storytelling, combined with personalized content and thought leadership, can drive web traffic, sales, demo requests, and more.

Your Action Item: Leverage Visual Storytelling to Bring Your Stories to Life

An actionable tip for businesses is to leverage visual storytelling to bring your stories to life. As humans, we are wired to process visual information more efficiently, so much so that it makes our stories more memorable:

Visuals are processed 60,000 times faster than text by the human brain.

90% of information transmitted to the brain is visual.

People can recall 65% of the visual content that they see almost three days later, compared to 10% of written content.

In order for companies to cut through the clutter, focus on how your visuals can support or take the lead in your storytelling efforts. Whether it’s a blog post with supporting visuals or an inspirational video, the more companies can ensure consistency of message in every element of their storytelling efforts, the more they will connect with their audiences.

Are you ready to tell your brand’s story?

Ekaterina Walter and Jessica Gioglio are the co-authors of The Laws of Brand Storytelling: Win―and Keep―Your Customers’ Hearts and Minds (Nov. 2018).

The post 3 Brilliant Examples of Brand Storytelling You May Have Missed appeared first on Convince and Convert: Social Media Consulting and Content Marketing Consulting.

http://bit.ly/2FyxmDu

[conniecogeie]

3 Brilliant Examples of Brand Storytelling You May Have Missed

We have been sharing stories from the beginning of human civilization — for good reason. Stories captivate our attention and build communities by bringing ideas, emotions, and experiences to life in a memorable way. So much so, that companies are increasingly embracing brand storytelling in the era of the connected digital consumer.

What is Brand Storytelling?

Brand storytelling is defined as the art of shaping a company’s identity through the use of narratives and storytelling techniques that facilitate an emotional response and establish meaningful connections.

When done correctly, research shows the powerful impact storytelling can have on us:

Stories are 22 times more memorable than facts & figures alone

Our neural activity increases 5X when listening to a story

Storytelling lights up the sensory cortex in the brain, allowing the listener to feel, hear, taste, and even smell the story

As a result, in a time when captivating consumer attention is the ultimate commodity, it has never been more important for companies to tell the right stories. The stories that stop us in our tracks, the stories that move us to tears, the stories that challenge us and change our perspective.

In a time when captivating consumer attention is the ultimate commodity, it has never been more important for companies to tell the right stories. Click To Tweet

There’s a magical spark that happens when consumers truly connect with a brand’s story, but how do companies source those unicorn, one-of-a-kind stories? Inspired by our book, The Laws of Brand Storytelling, here are three brilliant examples of brand storytelling you may have missed.

Brand Storytelling Example 1: The Land Of Land Rovers Campaign

Land Rover Showcases Why The Best Stories Come From Others

In celebration of Land Rover’s 70th anniversary, the company brought to life the true story of, “The Land of Land Rovers,” a remote area in the Indian Himalayas. The video tells the story of the local drivers who rely on a fleet of meticulously maintained 1957 Land Rover vehicles to provide transport and supplies along the treacherous mountain roads between two small villages, Maneybhanjang and Sandakphu.

To bring this remarkable story to life, Land Rover’s team made the village of Maneybhanjang their home for ten days in order to get to know these brave drivers and experience their everyday life. The end result delights the viewer with its stunning cinematography, while hearing from the drivers and villagers only further reinforces the incredible off-road capabilities of Land Rover vehicles.

The Best Stories Are Not Your Own

Land Rover’s campaign offers a brilliant example and a reminder that the best stories are not your own, but those of your customers and your fans. Sourcing those stories might be tough, but when you find those that truly touch people’s hearts, invest in bringing them to life and prioritize them over your product message.

The best stories are not your own, but those of your customers and your fans. Click To Tweet

Your Action Item: Get to Know Your Customers

To uncover the best customer stories, our best tip is to invest in getting to know your customers. From asking for customers to share their stories and memories with your company or products through social media or email campaigns, to running contests to encourage stories, top companies create a culture of sharing and storytelling.

Additionally, look at the many customer-facing touchpoints in your business, from sales to customer care, public relations, retail employees, and more. Employees on the front lines always have the best stories, but don’t necessarily know who to share them with. Whether it’s through regular check-ins, internal contests or targeted employee communications in newsletters or in the employee break room in-store, create processes for employees to share.

Brand Storytelling Example #2: Ikea’s Improve Your Private Life Campaign

IKEA Singapore Highlights The Power Of Humor In Storytelling

Every company speaks to the value of their products and services, but how many successfully turn those products or services into a laugh-out-loud funny yet relatable story? Consider taking a page from IKEA Singapore’s Shelf Help Guru campaign. The video campaign stars Fille Güte, a ‘Shelf Help Guru,’ who wants to take IKEA customers on a journey of ‘shelf discovery’ to improve their private lives in their most private areas: their bedrooms and bathrooms.

What makes the video shine is how it uses cheeky scenarios and hilarious puns to illustrate practical storage and furniture solutions from IKEA. The use of humor is spot on, truly captivating the viewer while positioning IKEA as the go-to retail store for improving your home.

However, what’s also exciting about this example of brand storytelling from IKEA Singapore is how the company continued the storyline with its customers on Facebook with a Shelf Help Guru Contest. In the contest, IKEA Singapore challenged fans to ask its Shelf Help Guru a question on how to improve their bedroom or bathroom for a chance to win a $50 gift card. Although a seemingly simple idea, IKEA Singapore had its Shelf Help Guru personally respond to every comment with a funny meme answering the person’s question with a link to the relevant IKEA product page.

Don’t Be Afriad to Get Personal with Your Customers

IKEA Singapore’s campaign speaks the fact that companies shouldn’t be afraid to get personal with their customers, even if it means poking a little fun at yourself. While humor can be hard to master, our best tip is to flex your funny bone aligned with your brand voice and values. Humor should be an extension of your brand voice and incorporated into your wider marketing and storytelling strategy. The brands with the best and most authentic tone of voice, in addition to the most humorous brands, are the ones that deeply know who they are and what makes them special. These brands also deeply understand how their customers perceive them, plus their needs, wants and wishes. The ‘secret sauce’ comes from translating these insights, values and key differentiators into a clever communications style that banishes boring in favor of personality.

Additionally, IKEA’s campaign showcases how succeeding in today’s digital age calls for more than just campaigns but for creating positive experiences for your customers.

Your Action Item: Connect with Your Customer-Service Facing Employees so They Understand Key Messages to Communicate

An actionable tip is to connect with your customer-facing employees, such as community managers and customer service reps. These folks are on the front lines of speaking and interacting with customers each and every day. This campaign is a good reminder of just how valuable their efforts are in further driving engagement around your brand storytelling efforts.

It’s one thing to tell an incredible story, but the reality is that the story is just the beginning. For example, when we tell stories to our friends and family, it sparks a reaction and a conversation among the storyteller and the recipient. Why wouldn’t we want the same as companies? As you develop your brand stories, make sure to factor in engagement activities to further amplify and activate your community around them. Make sure your customer-facing employees know the “back story,” from the inspiration, key messages and why the story matters so they are empowered to continue the conversation.

Brand Storytelling Example #3: Sanlam Bank’s #OneRandMan Campaign

Sanlam Bank Showcases How Storytelling Can Spark Change

Not to be outdone by their consumer counterparts, the financial services industry can still be put human reality at the heart of their stories. The following example from Sanlam Bank may not be a tearjerker, but it firmly establishes itself as an example of storytelling that helps people live better lives.

In South Africa, research shows that most people do not save much of their salary. So much so, that household debt averages about 75% of their after-tax income. To educate South Africans about the importance of saving money, Sanlam Bank launched a 5-part web series called One Rand Man, featuring a young professional who embarks on a social experiment – getting paid only in one rand coins. For context, one rand coin is about seven cents in U.S. currency. The video series documents his trials and tribulations of paying for everyday expenses in coins. Each week, Sanlam Bank also joined forces with respected local personal finance news outlets to share advice and tips based on the issues faced by the One Rand Man.

The Results

Telling the story of One Rand Man, combined with valuable personal finance thought leadership, sparked a chord in South Africans. The video series was watched over 900,000 times, making it the most-watched ad on YouTube in South Africa during the time of the campaign. Furthermore, the effort generated over 74 million media impressions, earning over 41 million rand worth of media exposure for the company (approx $2.8M U.S. dollars). The wild success of One Rand Man spawned One Rand Family and other similar episodic spin-offs, further inspiring and educating South Africans around the importance of personal finance and saving money.

Whether you’re trying to spark change or prove to a customer why your products or services are a good fit for them, seek out stories that are either true or highly relatable.

To connect with your audience, seek out stories that are either true or highly relatable. Click To Tweet

Even though One Rand Man wasn’t a true story, seeing how a big pile of one rand coins quickly was spent in a month was highly visual and allowed South Africans to empathize with expenses in their everyday lives. Comical scenarios like trying to pay for bills in hundreds of coins kept the content interesting, while using the storyline to feed into expert advice and tips added credibility. It also showcases the power of brand storytelling, combined with personalized content and thought leadership, can drive web traffic, sales, demo requests, and more.

Your Action Item: Leverage Visual Storytelling to Bring Your Stories to Life

An actionable tip for businesses is to leverage visual storytelling to bring your stories to life. As humans, we are wired to process visual information more efficiently, so much so that it makes our stories more memorable:

Visuals are processed 60,000 times faster than text by the human brain.

90% of information transmitted to the brain is visual.

People can recall 65% of the visual content that they see almost three days later, compared to 10% of written content.

In order for companies to cut through the clutter, focus on how your visuals can support or take the lead in your storytelling efforts. Whether it’s a blog post with supporting visuals or an inspirational video, the more companies can ensure consistency of message in every element of their storytelling efforts, the more they will connect with their audiences.

Are you ready to tell your brand’s story?

Ekaterina Walter and Jessica Gioglio are the co-authors of The Laws of Brand Storytelling: Win―and Keep―Your Customers’ Hearts and Minds (Nov. 2018).

The post 3 Brilliant Examples of Brand Storytelling You May Have Missed appeared first on Convince and Convert: Social Media Consulting and Content Marketing Consulting.

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