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illumins · 1 year ago

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════ஓ๑ ᴄʜᴘ.5 ๑ஓ════

“Lena!” The Captain's urgent shouts had been chasing after her ever since she set off in pursuit of the haunting sound. His initial surprise had sent him stumbling backward into the water, an audible curse mingling with his call of her name. She had spared him a fleeting glance, offering a hasty apology, but her momentum had carried her on, heedless.

Her fingers clung tenaciously to her damp and heavy trousers, the water’s weight serving as an anchor. Her blouse clung to her skin as the wind bore down on her, ruffling her hair and battering her ears. Her eyes teared up from the force of the wind, her mouth slightly agape as she gasped for precious lungfuls of air. Every fiber of her being ached, her body practically screaming at her to stop, yet her insatiable curiosity ignited a reservoir of courage within her. Lena's decisions had never been guided by logic or rationality, but by the tumultuous currents of emotion. This trait had led her into troubles as a child, inviting scoldings from Mr. Freed. It had propelled her to seek refuge with a captain, to escape her future, and now, to dash headlong into the depths of a jungle forest.

The sensation of sand prickling the soles of her feet was accompanied by a burning ache in her lungs, a silent mantra repeating in her mind—I should stop. But she couldn't yield, not now, not when the melody might vanish again, perhaps forever.

With the sun now set, the sky unfurled in a canvas of deep blues and purples, mirroring the abyssal depths of the sea below. The birds' daylight songs had gradually faded, replaced by the nocturnal chorus of those that ventured out under the cover of darkness. The day's heat had surrendered to a cooling chill, carried on the wings of the night breeze. It was in this altered ambiance that she suddenly came to a jarring halt, her feet brushing against the softness of grass. Gazing upward, she beheld a verdant canopy, a tapestry woven from the foliage of tropical trees. Though the full moon attempted to pierce through the dense foliage, only a smattering of pale streaks managed to break through, casting uneven patches of illumination onto the jungle floor. And just as abruptly as it had begun, the haunting melody ceased, leaving her heart plummeting with a sense of loss—no, no, no.

Just as she was poised to launch herself into another sprint, a sudden and firm tug brought her to a jolting halt. Casting a glance over her shoulder, she found Captain Canary gripping her left arm, his breathing labored, hair damp and disheveled. His free hand rested on his hip as he struggled to draw deep breaths. “Lena—” he began, but before he could continue, she attempted to wrench her arm away from his grasp. He promptly tightened his hold, pulling her arm towards him with a force that unbalanced her. She stumbled, her trajectory halting abruptly against his chest, where he held her ensnared. His gaze was fixed upon her, a mix of exasperation and something more evident in his eyes this time—annoyance.

His gaze averted from her, focusing on the dense expanse of the jungle ahead. As his eyes met hers again, they held a deeper, more palpable anger. "Do you have a death wish? Is that it?" he demanded, his tone edged with frustration.

Confusion swirled within her. No, of course not. “I—” Her words faltered as she realized the unyielding grip he maintained on her arm. In a renewed attempt to break free, she pushed against his hold, but her efforts proved futile. “Let go! Hey!—”

“So you can sprint off again? No. Talk,” he asserted resolutely, both of his arms now encircling her, effectively imprisoning her within his embrace.

A surge of exasperation welled up within her, prompting her to mutter, “Why does it matter to you?” Her complaint was abruptly cut short by a startled yelp as his head collided with hers.

“Quit being dramatic, Lena,” he retorted, his voice carrying a note of impatience.

She battled the impulse to speak, determined to display the stubbornness she was known for, yet his expression mirrored her own. A maddening realization struck her—this standoff could well persist into the night, regardless if it kills him. “There's something that's been gnawing at me,” she forced the words out, her teeth clenched with each syllable, irritated by how effortlessly he had broken through her defenses.

“What?” he urged her.

Summoning every ounce of her willpower, she released a frustrated breath and compressed her lips. Redirecting her gaze away from him, she directed it towards the vacant stretch of beach, where the moonlight fragmented across the ocean's surface. An unsettling notion she had strived to avoid crept back into her thoughts, persistent in its grip—‘What if I'm turning into her? Will I succumb to madness as she did? Did it all start with a mere melody and then spiraled into delusion?’ She felt an overwhelming sense of suffocation, not solely because of his presence, but due to the impending reality of her deepest fear. “I need reassurance that it's real,” she confessed, her voice fracturing with emotion.

“What do you mean?” For the first time, his tone softened to a mere whisper.

Meeting his gaze, she found herself unable to conceal the vulnerability that lay within her. She fought back the urge to pout or the potential for a sob to slip through if she allowed herself to speak too much. “I need to be sure…” She drew in a steadying breath, her inhale audible in the silence that hung between them. “I can't become… like her,” her voice trembled, her breathing growing increasingly rapid.

His grip around her began to loosen, his fingers trailing from her arm to her shoulders, sensing the tension that gripped her. As her head shook in silent desperation, she managed to speak through the surge of emotion, “I can't…” Another fervent shake of her head, “I can't, Captain.” The dam holding back her pent-up emotions finally burst, and a sob escaped her, punctuating her confession.

In the whirlwind of her thoughts, she couldn't help but imagine the alternate reality where she had departed for Canoga, married as planned. Would the haunting melody have pursued her there relentlessly? Would madness have claimed her in that distant place as it seemed to be doing now? And would her husband, perhaps mirroring her father's actions, have eventually cast her aside, just as her mother had been? Yet, here she was, surrounded by pirates on an isolated island, and the elusive melody had once more slipped through her grasp.

“Alright, okay,” he responded, attempting to offer reassurance. His gaze shifted upwards, fixated on the densely wooded expanse ahead. “We'll search for it,” he conceded, a hint of determination in his tone, “but you'll stay close behind me.”

Lena nodded in agreement and stepped back, allowing the Captain to take the lead. He pushed his hair back from his face, moving forward with a sense of vigilance, acutely aware of their surroundings. He even pointed out the potential dangers of her being barefoot, warning about the possibility of snakes or unnoticed spiders lurking in their path. A shiver rippled through her, goosebumps prickling her skin as she imagined the unsettling possibilities. Her hands trembled with a mixture of disgust and fear before she hurriedly closed the distance between them.

“So, what exactly are we looking for?”

She toyed with various ways to explain it to him, but finding none that conveyed her thoughts clearly. “It's a melody,” she finally admitted, her voice barely more than a hushed confession. “That's what I've been hearing recently, but this time it's stronger.”

The Captain came to an abrupt stop, his expression inscrutable. She wondered what unkind thoughts might be swirling in his mind. Maybe he’ll say them, she pondered anxiously. “You don't have to come,” she added, struggling to maintain a semblance of dignity. “I never asked you to.”

He sighed and shook his head. “I was trying to figure out how to find something we can't see,” he confessed, offering her a moment of insight into his thought process. “We'll head to a place I know is safe. If we find nothing by then, we'll turn back. Alright, Lena?”

Every fiber of her being longed to refuse, to stay behind and unravel the enigma of the haunting melody. But she recognized that he was the one with a crew, a ship, and a way off this island. She doubted that a solitary existence on this island was the path she truly desired. “Fair,” she reluctantly agreed.

He nodded, his gaze sweeping over her before he turned to lead the way to what he considered a safer location. The leaves overhead swayed with each gust of wind, creating a symphony of screeches and calls from the various birds and creatures that inhabited the jungle, lending an eerie weight to the atmosphere. Slivers of light trickled through the dense canopy above, briefly reminding her of how light had pierced the water's surface when she had plunged beneath it. Minutes slipped away, and her ankles throbbed with discomfort, tension coursing up her legs to her knees and lower back. She couldn't help but emit a quiet hiss of pain, which he noticed but chose to ignore. The entrance they had come through had long vanished, replaced by an endless sea of lush greenery.

“When do we set sail for Canoga?” she inquired in a near-whisper.

“In two days,” he replied without looking back, his focus still fixed on the path ahead.

“Oh…” She wanted to bring up the idea she had floated to Mark earlier, about potentially staying aboard until they reached a new land or made it to Pearl Reef. But she couldn't shake off Mark's words and the realization they had prompted. She hadn't earned his trust or respect, nor did she deserve it. She could only imagine how exasperating her antics must have been for him. She had darted about and behaved like a child throughout the journey, and now, for the first time, she glimpsed what Mr. Freed had endured her entire life as her caregiver—a child.

Breaking the silence, he cast a brief glance back at her. “So, may I ask why you left your life of luxuries?”

She hesitated initially but reminded herself that falsehoods wouldn't serve any purpose now. “I wanted my freedom,” she confessed, her voice tinged with determination.

Observing the subtle shake of his head and the disapproving raise of his index finger, she felt a pang of unease. “Everyone wants freedom, Lena,” he chided gently. “What's the real reason?”

“Forced marriage,” she replied curtly, her grip on her clothes tightening until her knuckles turned an almost ghostly white.

He emitted an amused 'ooh,' his tone dripping with curiosity. “To whom?”

“Marquis of Li'Pold,” she stated, her voice carrying a bitter edge.

He turned around, continuing to walk backward as he narrowed his eyes. “And you are…” he pointed at her, awaiting an answer.

She rolled her eyes, a touch of annoyance coloring her tone. “A daughter of a Knight.”

He clicked his tongue in acknowledgment. “So high up you go,” he mused, before turning forward again, resuming their trek through the jungle.

“What about you?” She deemed it only fair to inquire about his life since he had probed into hers.

He responded with a hint of teasing in his voice, drawing out her name, “What do you wish to know, Lena?”

She arched a brow. “How did a child come to be a Captain?”

“Like all men do, force,” he replied succinctly.

In response, she quickened her pace until she was walking beside him once more. For a fleeting moment, her heart skipped a beat at the sight of him. The moonlight cast a gentle glow on his honeyed skin. His red hair, now slowly drying into a tousled mess, somehow seemed effortlessly stylish. Long lashes brushed against his full cheeks each time he paused to rest his gaze on her. He met her eyes with a sly smirk. “Yes?”

She caught herself and continued, “Fine, how did a child end up with a group of pirates?”

He halted in his tracks, his brows furrowing. “Do you see me as a child, Lena?”

What? Her own question now made her ponder the age difference between them for the first time. She had never really questioned it before; it had seemed absurd to think of anyone as young as a Captain, even among pirates. But as she observed him, she couldn't help but notice his youthful appearance, although he did not look as young as Jisung.

He tilted his head slightly and drew closer than she felt comfortable with. He had done this before, and every time, it left her feeling either with fear or breathlessness. She looked up at him, attempting to take a breath, but the scent of sea that wafted from him, tinged with a hint of citrus, heightened her awareness of how she might smell, drenched in sweat and surrounded by the musk of men.

His hand reached for her face, gently tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “So do you, Lena?”

Flustered, she placed a hand on his chest and gently pushed him away. “No, I don't.”

She didn't quite understand why, but her response elicited a smile from him, and he signaled for her to walk ahead. “So, what did Gus tell you?” he asked.

“How—”

“Your obsession with calling me a 'child.' I like to think I'm older than you,” he quipped. She rolled her eyes, and he scoffed. “Would you like to know that too, Lena? I was born on June 6th, 1700. How about you?”

“April 18th, 1701,” she mumbled.

“I can see why your father married you off then,” he remarked, attempting a joke.

His comment caught her off guard, and she gasped at his poor attempt at humor. “That should have been a choice.”

“In what world? You're twenty-one. A woman five years younger than you would have had three or four children by now,” he stated matter-of-factly.

For some reason, his words stung more than any of his previous thoughtless remarks. Perhaps it was because, deep down, she believed there was some truth to them. She could have been a wife by now, tending to a brood of children and complaining about them to her husband. She could have had that life with the Marquis, even though none of it would have truly belonged to her.

Fueled by a sudden surge of anger, she retorted, “So what? Do you believe a woman's duty is limited to procreation and entertaining house guests while her husband goes off on important quests?”

He abruptly stopped once more, his expression confused. “I never said that.”

She bit her tongue, irritated with herself for taking out her frustration on him. “Sorry,” she muttered.

He shrugged and continued, “So, what did my amazing cook tell you about my younger years?”

“That you tricked the previous Captain into believing you were older than you actually were. You did everything I did—”

His arms now rested across his chest as he nodded. “Ah, so all my bad moments, then.”

She smirked. “Were there any good ones?”

He looked at her, surprise dancing in his eyes, but a hint of amusement too. “And she jokes.” Lena inclined her head in acknowledgement, smiling in return. “Well, I'll have you know, yes, I do believe I had great moments before I became Captain.”

Now it was her turn to walk backward as she moved in front of him. “Oh, then do tell, Captain Canary.”

“Haechan,” he stated.

"What?" She was aware that Haechan was his real name, but she couldn't understand why he had suddenly brought it up.

“You can call me Haechan, I’m not your Captain, never was.”

“But aren't names kept for those close to you?”

He remained silent, his gaze fixed on her, and she could see the confusion in her eyes mirrored in his. As if breaking from a trance, he quickly redirected the conversation. “I believe my greatest moment was when I overthrew the old Captain. He was a nasty one, always toying with others' lives, abandoning his crew if he deemed them unfit for the journey. Loyalty wasn't earned but bought with him.”

“Then how did you do it?”

“I killed him.”

Her breath caught in her throat, and once again, that familiar mix of fear and breathlessness washed over her. This time, it was both at once.

A sudden sound of rushing water enveloped the night, and his face lit up with happiness, a childlike delight. Lena turned around and saw a hint of a waterfall in the distance, resembling an opalescent pool that had captured all the stars from the sky. She gasped in amazement and glanced at him, sharing in his newfound excitement.

“Is this it?” she asked.

He nodded. “I may not know what you're seeking, but I thought you'd at least like the sight of a waterfall.”

Lena agreed, but a pang of disappointment pricked her heart. The melody hadn't returned, or at least she hadn't noticed it.

The Captain took her arm and started hurrying toward the waterfall. “Even if you don't find it today, Lena, there's always a tomorrow.”

As they made their way, she couldn't help but think about his earlier admission. The hands of a killer held her with an unexpected tenderness, and it left her feeling strangely conflicted. She wasn't sure why she was surprised; after all, pirate stories were filled with violence and death, and he was no exception. Yet, a small part of her had hoped that he might be different, that he might be the exception to the dark tales that surrounded his kind.

The waterfall's bed rippled, casting a mesmerizing dance of moonlight on the gently undulating surface. Overhead, the canopy that had concealed their path earlier now opened up, revealing the night sky. In this newfound light, Lena's eyes were drawn to a multitude of birds nesting above them. Some of them took flight, displaying their vibrant, colorful feathers, and she couldn't help but gasp in wonder.

From behind her, there was a sudden shuffling sound followed by a playful splash. She yelped as water splattered her right side. Laughter rang out in the night, and despite her attempt to put on an annoyed expression when she met his gaze, his bright smile and excitement were infectious. Lena found herself laughing as well, a rush of delight and nervous energy coursing through her.

The Captain waded out of the pool, his pants sagging low on his hips, and Lena couldn't help but notice the scars that marked his stomach and sides. Yet, her attention was captured by his extended hand, reaching out to her. She looked at him, water cascading from his hair, down his face, and dripping from his jaw. His gentle smile invited her to join him, and it warmed her from within.

“I promise the water isn't cold,” he reassured her, waving his extended hand softly.

Lena didn't hesitate. She took his hand.

Beside her, he led her into the water until they reached the edge of the rocky floor, which dropped away into a dark abyss below. He mentioned how he had once dived in and discovered a school of colorful fish and, as far as he could tell, perhaps underwater caves. Lena wasn't entirely sure how safe she felt knowing that beneath them lay more than just solid rock. When he noticed the unease on her face, he offered reassuring words, assuring her that it was safe.

He released her hand, and for a moment, panic surged through her as she imagined herself sinking effortlessly. However, he demonstrated deep breaths, and she followed suit, allowing herself to float.

“I'm sorry,” he apologized, his voice tinged with remorse. Confused, she encouraged him to explain. “I didn't mean for you to drown, it was a trick that went wrong,” he clarified, regret etched across his features.

She thanked him with a warm smile, and he returned the gesture. The ambient sounds of rushing water and the gentle serenade of silent bird songs provided a backdrop to the thrumming of her heart. He was close, and for reasons she couldn't quite fathom, she longed to hold him again, just as she had done on the beach. Her fingertips tingled with the desire to wipe away every drop of water that clung to his face, delicately tracing her touch along his cheek. The small black moles that adorned his face and neck seemed more pronounced now, and under his gaze, she felt small yet warmly embraced, a stark contrast to the vulnerability he had often evoked in her.

“Lena—”

She caught herself getting too close; hastily clearing her throat, she redirected her attention to a large rock that jutted out beside the waterfall, extending over the pool they were in. She nodded toward it. “Do you think we can get a better view from up there?”

He glanced behind him, and his excitement surged once more. “Oh, absolutely,” he exclaimed, beginning to swim toward the edge of the pool. “Come on!” he called, urging her to follow.

When Lena reached the edge of the pool, he didn't wait for her and dashed towards the rock, immediately beginning his ascent. Lena clung to her clothes, now soaked and weighing her down. They felt like an anchor pulling on her body. However, as her strength gradually returned and her lungs filled with air, she mustered the energy to follow his lead. She copied his movements, scaling the jutting edges of the rock and adhering to his guidance whenever she hesitated.

Upon reaching the top, her legs felt wobbly, and she fought off a wave of embarrassment as he steadied her. Embarrassment tinged her cheeks as he held onto her for support. While her courage could be attributed to some of her more adventurous actions, she couldn't deny that her upbringing had shaped her into a lady of the court, not one accustomed to wandering through jungles at night.

With her in his arms, he brought the two to the edge and she overlooked the pool below and the waterfall still above. Yet, the trees were now at eyesight and she saw the trail of smoke from the campsite they had left. She felt untouched, like the birds she’d seen tonight; the world too small to grab onto her. And when she turned to him to see if he shared the same admiration for it all, she was met with his eyes. Has he been staring at me?

“Do you know what my favorite part about coming up here is?” he asked.

She shook her head, a hint of curiosity in her eyes. “Besides the view?”

“The fall,” he replied, nodding toward the precipice below. Her eyes widened, and she instinctively took a step back.

Her heart raced as memories of her plunge into the ocean flooded back, reigniting her fear of the water. She continued to retreat until he grabbed her hand, halting her and giving it a reassuring squeeze. “Come on, Lena,” he urged. “Do you want to be scared forever?”

His words resonated with her, slowly coaxing her forward. Each step felt both dreadful and exhilarating. Where her strength waned, he seemed to infuse her with more. As she neared him, he wrapped his right arm around her left, their fingers entwining. Together, they stood at the precipice, with her feeling more dread and him more excitement. The pool below now appeared darker, and the waterfall's roar echoed the crashing waves from her fall. The rock seemed like a narrow plank, threatening to tip her over, but he steadied her, guiding her through the breathing exercises he had taught her.

Before the fall, before the countdown, he had uttered simple words, “Bravery is faith.” And as the wind tried to snatch her, mistaking her for a bird perhaps, she slipped right through its grasp. Her breath caught in her lungs as the water drew closer with each passing second. The last thing she saw before her feet broke the water's surface was Captain Canary's wide smile gazing down at the water below.

Then came the deafening silence that followed the condensed whoosh. It was the part she hated the most, the one that made her wonder if she had died and was experiencing mere fragments of seconds before life slipped away. Her eyes remained closed, fearing that it was all true. She felt light yet heavy all at once, and the firm hand she had gripped before her fall had also slipped away. Loneliness, darkness, cold, and nothingness enveloped her. Where is he? she begged herself, blindly reaching out, just as she had done so many times in her dreams. Please, she wanted to cry out, her heart racing as her throat constricted, yearning for air. I'm alive, she reassured herself.

Lena continued to search for him, and when an arm encircled her waist, she clung to it, her hands reaching for his face, tracing the features she remembered. She needed to make sure it wasn't a ghost. His hand cupped hers briefly, then it moved to her face, gently brushing her closed eyes. At that moment, Lena understood what he meant. He invited her to see, to trust.

When Lena finally opened her eyes, the world was a blurry, stinging mess. Her instinct was to rub them, but Captain Canary signaled for her to blink, so she did. Slowly, her hazy sight began to clear, and she saw him smiling, giving her a thumbs-up. He pointed below them, revealing partially lit caves and schools of fish gliding past. Giddiness filled her cold body, bringing a semblance of warmth to her.

He then motioned for them to ascend, and he went first. Following closely behind, Lena took big strides upward, heading for the surface. That's when she heard it—the melody. It sounded closer than ever. She looked down toward the depths, ready to dive, but Captain Canary's grip on her arm prevented her.

He pulled her up, and when her head broke through the surface, she gasped heavily, coughing out bits of water that had begun to infiltrate her mouth before she resurfaced.

“What in the world, Lena! You could have drowned!” he scolded her between heavy breaths.

With her legs feeling like jelly, she continued to float, pushing her wet hair away from her face and taking deep gulps of air. She scanned the area, searching for any trace of the elusive melody. “It was right—here,” she gasped and coughed.

“What was?” he asked, still sounding angry.

“The melody!” she exclaimed, her voice filled with exhaustion and frustration. She slapped the water in frustration. "It was right here!"

“Lena—”

She cut him off, her voice resolute. “No! No. You said you would help me, remember?” She rubbed her face, trying to calm herself and wiping away droplets of water. “I'm staying here.”

“I understand, but you need to rest—”

She took a deep gulp of air and dove down, just as he had taught her. Underwater, she felt a sense of being lost, desperately needing to hear the melody again to guide her. Lena closed her eyes, searching for it in the silence, determined to find it. Her fingers began to grow cold, but she clenched them and focused. Come on, she begged, her heart and mind yearning for the peace of knowing.

Amidst the silence, a thought struck her—she hummed. Every note she could remember before the melody's song was abruptly cut short. With each note, she felt her chest tighten as her air supply dwindled. Instinctively, her hands reached for her chest and throat, but there was no air to be found. As she sang the last falling note, she heard it again. The melody sang in harmony with her, like a call meant just for her. Her eyes sprang open, scanning the dimming darkness, until she saw it. A blue glow emanated from the walls, etched into them. From a distance, she couldn't discern its nature, only that it was what had been summoning her.

But as before, she was abruptly pulled away by him, the weight of the water tugging at her limbs as she was hauled to the surface. Coughing and inhaling vigorously, she welcomed the cool air that kissed her skin. This time, he didn't stop, taking her out towards the pool's edge until he forced her to crawl out of the water and onto the grass.

As her lungs filled with air through tired aches, she glared at him, demanding an explanation. “Why!”

He slammed his hand onto the ground in frustration. “Why? Because I'm not letting you die!” he yelled, his outburst startling her.

She didn't know how to respond; she had never seen him like this. He stared at her for a moment, his frustration palpable, before rolling his eyes and sprawling out on his back, exhaling wearily. She sighed inwardly. Fine. Rising to her feet, she extended her hand toward him, offering help. He hesitated for a moment, then grabbed it abruptly. She stumbled as his weight unexpectedly pulled on her, but she managed to steady herself once he was on his feet.

He patted himself down, and she gestured toward the pool. “I saw it.”

“We moved on from hearing?” he mused, his usual charm returning.

Ah, there he is. “Sure,” she quipped. “I saw it. I think it's stuck on the rock walls. Since you're feeling like a savior today, why don't you go get it?”

He stepped back into the pool, splashing some water. “And what is it, may I ask?”

“I couldn't properly see it. It glowed blue, on the left side, slightly further down.”

“Fine,” he grumbled, his bitterness evident. She watched as he swam further and further into the pool until he reached its center. There, he paused for a few moments, taking in deep breaths, before submerging himself completely. His red hair vanished beneath the water's surface, leaving only the occasional glint from the moonlight reflecting on the ripples.

She waited for him by the edge, letting the cool water caress her feet. The waterfall continued its ceaseless descent, and she found herself lost in thoughts about what it would be like to sit beneath it, to feel the weight of the cascading water on her shoulders, only to step away when the pressure became too much.

As seconds turned into minutes, a nervous unease crept over Lena. She absentmindedly stretched and scrunched her fingers as she scanned the water's surface, searching for any sign of him. Is this how he felt when I was underwater? she wondered. Had he been standing here, waiting for her and fearing the worst as she explored beneath the waters? With growing anxiety, she took a step closer to the pool's edge, prepared to jump in. Just as she was about to act on her worry, his head emerged from the water, and she released a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding.

Small doses of guilt washed over her as she sprinted towards him. He was tirelessly trying to swim back to the edge. The water had risen to her hips by the time he caught up, and she looped an arm around his torso, guiding his left arm over her shoulder. With every ounce of strength she could muster, she assisted him in walking towards the grassy floor and helped him lie down.

As he rested there, his chest rising and falling in rapid succession, her eyes widened at the sight of a blue vintage pendant hanging around his neck. It glimmered in the moonlight, and her fingers lightly grazed its intricately carved surface.

“What you were looking for…” he said, his voice exasperated, “was a necklace.” He pushed himself up to sit, steadying himself on his elbows.

Lena watched from her kneeling position as he removed the necklace from around his neck and then gestured for her to tilt hers. She obeyed, and felt his hands move over her head, placing a cool metal chain around her neck and collarbone. The pendant hung at the center of her chest, slightly longer than she would have preferred, but she held it delicately.

He flopped back onto the grass and rested one hand on his chest, exhaustion evident in his eyes. “Can we go back now?” he pleaded, looking at her.

She nodded, and out of guilt for how exhausted he looked, she patted his resting hand. “Thank you, Haechan.”

With closed eyes, he offered a faint smile. “You're welcome, Lena.”

𔘓⁩ ᵗⁱᵖʲᵃʳ

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t3kandson · 1 year ago

Text

Saviour

Word count; 6,173

Fandom; NCT Dream

Pairing; Reader X Lee Jeno & Reader X Lee Donghyuk

Characters; Lee Jeno, Lee Donghyuk, Na Jaemin & Park Jisung. Mentions of Lee Mark, Huang Renjun & Zhong Chenle.

Warning; Angst, Degrading, Emotional Abusive Relationship, Arranged Marriage, Child abuse (Adult Child), House Arrest, Open Relationships, Fingering, Oral (Giving) & Protected Sex.

Notes; Sequel to Stranger

Happy birthday Haechan ❤️😘

Taglist; @painted-hills @devinitysann

Dinner was awkward, you and Jeno’s eyes avoiding each other as your parents spoke of your future. You didn’t know how you could come to terms with the fact that this man who you slept with was now your future husband. It should have felt like great news because in hindsight you had chosen him. But you had shown him your vulnerability. More importantly he was a fuck boy himself. Could you even imagine him settling down and being completely loyal to you? This marriage would be built up with mistress’s a dozen. “Well we can take her back tonight,” Mr Lee said snatching both yours and Jeno’s attention. “Pardon,” your father said looking as confused as you did. “Darling we have to let her go at some point,” your mother said swirling her hand on her husbands chest. “It’ll be a chance for Y/N to get use to the way we live, being different to her own upbringing,” Mr Lee said as your father winced at his words. “Works really busy father,” Jeno said looking hesitant as his eyes skipped to you a mere second. “I’ll sort it, I will have Mark take the work load for you till just after the wedding,” his father responded as Jeno looked annoyed. His eyes found yours and for some strange reason you felt as if he was thoroughly pissed off with you. He knew you didn’t want this wedding you as Mirae had told him last night. “That’s not a problem is it darling,” your mother said snatching your attention from Jeno as you looked puzzled her way. “For how long?” You asked as Mr Lee and your mother laughed. “I think they mean forever,” Jeno said, his eyes taking yours, looking amused with the news that you was being snatched away quicker then you was prepared for. Your eyes attempted to search for your father in a last bid attempt as your heart raced, but he failed to give such contact. “That is ok right?” Mr Lee asked as you felt your mothers scorning eyes from the corner of your own. “I guess so,” you said defeated as you realised you had to accept your fate. “It’s ok Jeno will look after you,” Mr Lee said reassuringly as you looked to your future husband. He sat their looking cocky with his arms folded as your face flushed red. You knew how well he could look after you already. “So we are agreed, you should come home with us?” Mr Lee asked looking delighted as you nodded reluctantly. “Can I be excused to pack,” you said standing to face your father as he nodded in a mere moment of eye contact. “That isn’t necessary, I have everything you could potentially need,” Mr Lee smiled as you looked at him confused. “The wife of the heir to Dream Enterprise, she Needs to be dressed in style. So it’s natural that we already have your clothes ready. Your stylist has already arranged with your mother,” he said as he smiled at your happy excited mother with doe eyes. “What about personalised items?” you question a little abrupt. “Soomin forgive my daughter, she sometimes forgets to construe her words correctly. She’s really is grateful,” your mother flirted as you rolled your eyes. “No offence Joonhyun,” he said as your father tensed when he turned back to you. “My family are much more on a superior life style to the one your use to. Your be leaving your life behind, it will be difficult being some one much more sophisticated. But you’ll become successful from being the most beautiful person on my sons arms. Your also gift some beautiful children and Jeno’s heir to the family business once my days are numbered,” Mr Lee said, your fist tightened at his ability to look his nose down at your father. It was then that a member of staff approached the table whispering in Mr Lee’s ears.

Your eyes in one more attempt to find your father’s in a silent plea to end this arrangement. But he look defeated and worn that he refused to look, remaining focused on consuming the dinner that Mr Lee couldn’t even be gracious to eat. “Apologies, theirs a matter that needs resolving, so I have to thank you for your entertainment,” Mr Lee said to your parents. He reached in to his pocket to remove an empty wad of Cash in a envelope to place by your father’s plate. Your mothers greed snapped in as she hungrily took the money. Smiling her way at the daughter that she was selling. Watery eyes you accepted your fate and you stood waiting for your instruction to the new life that you was about to be forced to live.

When he stood outside the house, you realised an extra car waiting as you looked at your father Inlaw. “I thought that the car journey back to Seoul would be a great opportunity for You two to get to know each other,” he said as you heard Jeno breathe out deeply. “Father with all due respect,” , “No if’s and No butts. And be a gentleman won’t you,” he cut him off scorning him as he entered his own car. You stood silently watching the car pull off as Jeno looked your way. His eyebrow raised with annoyance on his face. “You happy with your choice now Mirae,” he growled eyes widened as he entered the car slamming the door behind him. You looked back towards the house, your father watching from a window of his room looking torn. You smiled briefly waving at him as tears started to fall. He walked away from the curtain instantly as your heart fell. You sniffled and made your way to the other side of the car door.

Sliding beside him he shuffled to get as far from you as he could. How was this the same person who you slept with the night prior. The long journey was mostly filled with silence. You realised that your future was to basically be enslaved to this very man and the company brand. “I don’t want people to know about the other night,” Jeno eventually said as he looked at you for the first time properly. “I didn’t plan to,” you said before your eyes took back to the window. “I take it I will be expecting many other women,” you asked looking back his way as he’s eyes widened. “What do you expect from Old, Powerful and Ugly,” he growled as you blinked his way. “Are you angry because of the words I said when I didn’t realise who you was?” You questioned as he laughed almost in disbelief. “Shouldn’t have said words for a future you couldn’t expect,” he snorted as you looked at him bewildered. “Did you know who I was?” You scoffed. “No because If I did I would have ran, so very far far away,” he said with venom in his tone. “Good enough to shag not good enough to marry,” you growled his way and he continues to laugh vindictively. “May I remind you you shagged and ran, don’t make me out to be the dark one here,” he spat out. “I suggest you don’t talk to me the rest of the journey home and somehow find a way to end this little arrangement,” you replied bitterly. “Trust me if I could get rid of you I would,” he hissed before turning his back on you. Your anger was travelling through your veins at how rude he was.

When you arrived Jeno didn’t even wait to introduce you to the ways of the house, dashing off happy to get rid of you. You stood their in the hallway seconds from tears, twiddling your fingers praying for Mr Lee to come to your rescue to give you guidance. Closing your eyes you bit them to avoid the tears falling. When you opened them up, you found a face looking your way. “Your new here, you must be the lovely Y/N,” the smiley face man that you presumed was staff, till you noticed his clothing. “I’m Jeno’s brother, the better looking one,” he smirked as you tilted your head his way. “You look upset, what’s he done now? One day with you and he’s putting that kind of face on you,” he grumbles looking up towards the direction you saw Jeno leave to. “Right as it seems he isn’t gentleman to show you around looks like it’s my job,” he said smiling your way with his hand reached out to you. “Thanks,” you choke feeling warmed by his welcoming. “You don’t need to thank me for just offering to show you around. You won’t survive here if you become all shy. You need to be a little more assertive, daring even,” he said smirking mischievously. “You didn’t give me your name,” you said taking the hand on offer as he pulled you towards him. “Lee Donghyuk but some people call me Haechan around here,” he said pulling his hands around your waist as he moves you towards the living room.

Donghyuk showed you around the mansion, showing the many places you could and even couldn’t visit. Showing you how to sneak past the many guards that Mr Lee had produced around the mansion. Before long you was chuckling at his mad rebel antics. You was soon introduced to their Cousin Jaemin. Though he was quiet, he was very pretty and had the most beautiful smile, that you could happily watch the twinkle in his eyes all day. He had seemed to noticed your apparent dreamy state and started heavy blushing your way. Donghyuk seemed to be a little irritated at your ogling and before you could talk properly, he was off on the next introduction. Another Cousin introduced was Jisung who was looking confused your way when you walked into their Cinema room. “Oh yes I forgot,” Donghyuk said looking sheepishly. “I was suppose to get popcorn for our movie,” he explained as you looked confused. “I’m sorry I’ve taken up your time,” you said feeling guilty as Jisung looked panicky your way. “It’s ok why don’t you join us,” he smiled warmly as you couldn’t help but smile at that goofy grin of his. “That sounds perfect, but I really am exhausted. I’ve travelled for such a long time,” You said as they both looked slightly disappointed. “The thing is I haven’t been told where my room is,” you said looking embarrassed. “Didn’t Jeno take you to your apartment?” Jisung scoffed as you shook your head. “Gentleman as ever,” Donghyuk growled as Jisung deadpanned his way. “I’ll take you to Jeno’s apartment,” Donghyuk said placing his arms softly on your shoulders. “Wait i will be sharing an apartment with him?” you asked in horror as Donghyuk looked at you amused. “That is generally where couples live, together, is it not?” He said tilting his head as your mind started to panic. “Yes but we’re not even married,” you said looking like your heart would give in. “It’s just an shared apartment not a shared bed. But then this is Jeno. I’m surprised he didn’t already do her in the car on the way,” he sniggered as Jisung called him out. You couldn’t help but blush knowing that you had already slept with him, even if it wasn’t in the car as they suggested. “You did didn’t you?” Jisung said with a mixture of amusement beneath his horror. “No car sex,” you said honestly as they shared a slight look of disbelief between them. “Right let’s get you to your husband,” Donghyuk said amused. “He’s not my husband,” you growled while Donghyuk and Jisung exchanged worried looks as you turned to find Jeno standing behind you. “Feelings mutual trust me. To think I will be stuck with you forever,” he said looking disgusted at you that it pierced your heart. “Hyung,” Jisung scolded as he looked his way softening slightly before looking back at you with venom in his expression. “Are you finished with your play date and ready to actually follow me this time,” Jeno growls your way as you nod feeling too exhausted to fight back.

You followed him back to the apartment in silence. You knew he despised you that it was pointless speaking with him. Stepping through the apartment, you realised it was reasonably small for an heir of a company, but you wondered if that’s how Jeno liked it. “Your room is over there,” Jeno said arms folded as he watched your eyes roam the small combined living room & kitchen. “Food is there,” he added pointing in the direction of the kitchen space. “Are they’re any house rules?” you asked as he looked his way warmer then since your reunion. “Not really, not while your here. The rules basically start out there,” he said a little warmer as you smiled his way. “Are they’re any foods I should be careful not to serve you?” You ask him in a desperate seek to know more. “Why are you willing to be a house wife now?” He chuckled amused. “Isn’t that my job right?” You question as he rolls his tongue down his inner cheek. Your memory is flashed from the previous night. It was dark and dangerous to your inner core not just viewing it, but remembering what you got up to the night prior. “Your job is to just look pretty, be loyal, obedient and well have my baby’s. Cooking me meals I won’t be here to eat most days won’t be part of your requirement,” he said sternly. Like his switch of coldness it felt like you had been snapped back into place. Just as you was about to make a comment his phone rang leaving him to look at his device in a devilish feature. “Just one of my, what did you call it, yes mistresses…… night Mirae,” he chuckled walking into his room. You could hear his excitement in his callers company. As soon as the door shut you breathed out as if you was struggling for breath. Finding yourself to your own room you could have cried seeing how small it was. It was just a box room that you could have easy mistaken for a broom cupboard. Was this your future in a fake yet rich powerful family. You spent that night crying yourself to sleep cursing your mother’s name for the life she had pushed on you.

The following day you practically didn’t leave your room. You could hear the giggles of Jeno and his female company from the thin walls. You was beyond caring having come to term to despising him.

After the fourth day the sounds of yet further throws saw your ready to not just lose your mind, but have you ready to dishonour your family. You creeped out the room as you went to leave the apartment. Panic hitting once your feet hit the carpet of the hallway. You was too busy looking at your feet the other day, you couldn’t even remember the journey you took to reach there. Taking a deep breath you attempt your way to sneak out the mansion, away from The Lee’s, From Jeno and because of this choice your own family.

You remembered the staircase which was by the main entrance. But in your attempt to locate it you found nothing but further halls on top of halls. How big was this place? And how come the future wife to the heir got a measly box room?

Huge relief suddenly hit you when you found the staircase. It was like you could finally be free, even if you had nothing but the clothes on your back. “Where are you off to?” You heard a voice behind you. “More to the point why you still wearing the same clothes you arrived in?” you turned to find Donghyuk standing there with concern on his face. “What happened,” he asked holding on to your arms. “I can’t be here anymore I need to leave,” you whimper hoping he will help you. He looks around to see if anyone’s present and grabs your hand. “With me, trust me,” he said as he pulls you down several corridors.

Pulling you into an apartment that you presume is his. You take the smaller room as if it was possible to be smaller then Jeno’s apartment. “What’s happened? He asked looking at you with concern. “Is it My brother?” He asked as you nodded with watery eyes. “Right I’m going to run you a bath, get some food in you and we are going to talk. Your going to tell me what he has done to make you want to run away. Which might I add you can’t. You are trapped here like us all,” he said looking in slight pain. “What do you mean?” You question as he smiled warmly at you. “Y/N we’re talk about it after a good bath,” he adds as he leads you to the sofa before making his way to the bathroom.

Entering the room cleaned and in Donghyuk’s PJ’s he looks lost slightly your way. “Salmon salad,” he says when he finally comes back to himself. “Sounds Yummy,” you said as you found your way to sit on the table he placed the food on. “Have you even eaten since arriving here?” He asks worried. Your sure you hear a whimper escape when you shake your head. “Why Y/N? Can you not cook?” He questions as you chuckle his way. “Yes of course I can cook,” you said as you popped a cherry tomato in your mouth. “So why have you not bathed or eaten this whole time?” He quiz’s. You took a bite of your fish savouring the taste as you looked back up to him and shrugged your shoulders. “Ok what did he do?” Donghyuk asked as you looked at him pained. “He doesn’t like me,” you said taking a sip of water. “That isn’t true, I refuse to believe that. Ok I get the feeling you’ve both butt heads, but I personally think he does like you. If he doesn’t he will. Like what’s not to like,” he smirks biting his lip as he takes you in. “I would say maybe the many girls he’s been bringing home would know more what he prefers,” you said as he choked on his water. “What the fuck,” he said almost in disbelief. “You act surprised, he’s a fuck boy,” you said as he uncomfortably sniggers. “You caught on to that right,” he said awkwardly. “Jeno can be very sexualised but it’s just a face, really I promise,” he added as if he was attempting to convince himself. “Has he not even tried to get food in you?” He whispers almost in fear for the response of his brother being a dead beat. “I’ve not seen him since he brought me to the apartment that first day. I’ve heard him but not seen him,” you said feeling full as you pushed your plate of half eaten food away. “It’ll be different once your married I’m sure, have faith,” he said his smile not reaching his eyes. “I’m not marrying him I can’t. I need to leave this place,” you pleaded almost. “Y/N they’re is no way you can leave, trust me,” he said with widened eyes. “Why?” You question as his eyes focus to your plate. “Eat some more and I will tell you,” he questions as you deadpan his way. “I mean it,” he says with more assertiveness.

Pulling the plate closer you stab your fork between more salad and a bit more of the salmon, consuming it to look his way. “One more, please,” he asks with his hands together pleading. One more repeat mouthful of your food you look back at him to continue. “Y/N this house is full of many of my father’s Children, my Cousins and trust me they’re is loads of them. You haven’t even met Renjun, Chenle or even his son that he shipped away Mark. He’s the eldest by the way. Both me and him despite his age and my beauty,” he paused to pose. “It counts for nothing, Jeno’s the future heir and we have to accept it,” he added as you looked pained his way. “Oh don’t give me the sympathy one day I will be free. But Jeno he’s the heir he will never be free. It’s made him more stressed and hard driven but that’s not the real him,” he finishes as you raise an eyebrow his way. “I thought we was talking about escaping not that man,” you snap taking him by surprise. “That’s the thing, do you not think he runs, sometimes he can get quite a distance. Like the night before he came to fetch you he managed to lose everyone, father still found him that follow morning though,” he said as you tilted your head intrigue to know if they knew what he was getting up to. “Probably escaping to another woman,” you spat out. “No that’s the thing, he was found in a room alone. He just wanted an escape, so you see he’s not the sex crazed monster you think he is,” he said smiling. You wanted to laugh at his naivety, Jeno was balls deep in to some woman, you knew 100% being that very person. “I really wish that he wasn’t as much of a monster that he lets you down with,” you chuckled seconds from slipping that very truth from your lips. “Y/N, have faith in your future husband,” he said in attempt to convince you. “Sasang Hotel Ire, he already told me he spent that night with someone,” you said sipping your water as his eyes furrowed.

“What?” He gasped. “That’s the hotel he was found in right?” You said a little too cocky to prove him wrong. “He confessed, why is he trying to hurt you with that information,” he said a little angered as you took satisfaction from making him realise what a sleaze his brother was. “Theirs me here making all the excuses and for what,” he growled standing up. “He’s made me look like an idiot in the process,” he said starting to pace around the living room. “Your not an idiot, well you are but only for wanting to protect someone who doesn’t deserve it,” you smiled his way. “You don’t get it, your stuck here. Hearing how much of a man whore your future husband is makes you more trapped. He wouldn’t even let me keep you from the pain of that knowledge,” he growled in anger as you made your way to him. “Donghyuk, it’s sweet that you wanted to protect me but you can’t condemn him for being honest with who he is. I will just be a wife in name,” you said placing a hand over his heart to bring calm. “If only he had your heart,” you said looking up to him. “Then he would be much better looking and I wouldn’t have something over him,” he teased earning you to chuckle. “You should laugh more it’s beautiful,” he added wrapping his arms around you. “Well your the only person who can put a smile on my face around here, shame it’s not you I’m marrying,” you said as you fell into his hold more that your head rested on his chest. “You wouldn’t be a wife of an heir then,” he chuckled as you heard his heart thunder under your ear. “You think I care for titles, poor man with a heart over rich and powerful any day,” you said as he hummed while playing with your hair. “Rich people aren’t that bad Cupcake,” he said that made you shiver from the pet name. You felt his hardening bulge harden against you as you broke away instantly with his face blushing like crazy.

“Y/N I’m sorry sometimes my manhood likes to remind me I’m Jeno’s brother,” he said biting his lip that was rather erotic, despite his bashful emotion. “I think maybe I should get you back,” he said walking to the door. “You getting rid of me?” You question as he looks confused your way. “Please don’t send me back there, let me have your box room,” you plead as he tilted his head looking conflicted. “Y/N you said it yourself, you honour him for being open to who he is and what’s expected of you,” he said pained. “Just one night here with out those noises while I come to terms, please,” you pleaded with him. “Y/N I may not be a fuck boy like him, but I’m still a man, and his brother. Like look,” he said pointing down towards his well noticed erection. “I shouldn’t be having this over my future sister Inlaw,” he cried as you smiled warmly at him. “You more bothered that I’m your sister Inlaw then the fact I might have said no,” you said arms folded. “Hey like I keep saying have you seen me, we would be banging right now if you wasn’t Jeno’s future wife,” he said confidently. “Stop calling me that,” you sniggered amused at his confidence. “Oh, not no I wouldn’t let you bang me, see told you,” he added wiggling his eyebrows. “That’s why we need to get you back to Jeno,” he finished more seriously. “Fine, ok,” you relented. “You can take me back to the sex monster because you can’t handle your dick around me,” you added with his confidence. He smirked amused at you flirting back. “Come on before we do something we regret,” he added opening his hand for you to take.

Opening the door to Jeno’s apartment the sound of his sexual activity flooded the hallway. Donghyuk’s face which was relaxed suddenly became enraged. Storming right in past you, he barges to Jeno’s room with you reluctantly following. “What the hell Hyuk,” Jeno growls. “I could ask you the same thing. Not just are you enduring your future mother of your children to hear these antics, you couldn’t even be bothered to make sure she was well fed, nourished even,” he snapped as you took a step back in surprise at his anger. “Stay out of it,” he barked as your eyes peaked to see the girl still underneath him. Donghyuk noticing you standing in full view of this stood looking at you in pain. “Y/N go to your room,” he said softly as you tilted your head his way. “I’m not a child,” you gasped. “Clearly not, Hyuk your condemning me yet look at you two. You helping yourself to my second helpings again are we,” Jeno sniggered as Donghyuk’s fist tightened. “Hey if you get her pregnant you would be saving me a lot more time to focus elsewhere. I promise I’ll make them a heir,” he snorted as your mind boggled. How could this be the same man who looked after you, trained you even how to be a wife in bed? “Fuck you,” he snapped stepping towards him. “Don’t Hyuk, please,” you whimpered letting his nickname fall. “Wow you must be close, wearing his clothes, pet names,” Jeno smirked as you looked up towards him with pleading eyes to calm. “You both going to watch us, hey fancy joining. Let me train you to be a wife Y/N,” Jeno chuckled behind you as you heard him thrust as his victim whimpered underneath. Instead of Donghyuk it was you that snapped finding the vase by your side. You picked it up and threw it at him narrowingly missing him. “Fuck you Lee Jeno,” you said shaking as his companion scampered to the walls. “Mirae already did,” he glared with widened egotistical eyes. “My names not Mirae,” his mistress squeaked. Jeno chuckled her way before smirking at you. Tears was beginning to fall at your eyes. “Y/N,” Donghyuk whimpered pulling you back towards him. “He’s not worth it,” Donghyuk said as he tried to remove you from the room. “Don’t forget to shut the door on your way out,” Jeno spat out behind you as Donghyuk obliged.

“Calm down cupcake,” Donghyuk said as you started shaking as adrenaline ran through you. “Why couldn’t I be marrying you,” you choked out as he chuckled warmly, pulling you toward’s his chest once more. You let his beating heart calm you as he held you while you waited for the shakes to reside. Despite the moans of Jeno’s companion reassuming you didn’t care. It was like Donghyuk was shielding you while in your arms. If only Donghyuk was the man of your future, then you know he would have made you feel safe and secure. Life would have been a prettier picture then the one you currently had. “You ok Cupcake?” Donghyuk whispers as you shake your head. “Let me know when your ready for me to let you go,” he said kissing your crown. “That would be never at this rate,” you chuckled despite being heartbroken. “Hey I’m happy forever, but we have to sleep you know,” he chuckled before realising his words. “I didn’t mean together I meant,” he paused as you looked up at him.

It was like the view of you stole his breath as his eyes widened your way almost besotted. Pressing your lips to his he whimpers, but nothing to stop you moving against his. Hands gripping around your shoulders as if he’s struggling around you. You can tell as his dick is beginning to harden once more. “Fuck his future wife like he asked,” you said between kisses and he growled which burned your core further. “Y/N,” he choke still frozen to the spot. “Be naughty with me, Be a Lee of Dream enterprise with me,” you said letting your lips hit his neck. “Y/N you don’t know what your saying,” he struggles under your touch. “I do, take me Hyukkie,” you purr under his ear that he pulls you away. His face looking conflicted before he takes one glance at Jeno’s room. Returning his view back towards you moments later, looking at you a little more lust fallen. “Let’s see who can make our girl scream the loudest,” he growls more feral as he pushes you against the wall that the picture fell off the shelf.

Lips hungry clashing with you, he rolls his body straight against your sensitive nub. “You a virgin?” He asks as you shake your head. “You on contraception?” He questions. “Just because I’m not a virgin doesn’t mean I’m a whore,” you chuckle as he smirks amused. “Wait here,” he said turning back towards Jeno’s room.

“What the hell Hyuk!” You hear Jeno complain. “Just want a condom, I might take you up on the offer but when I get a girl pregnant it won’t be for you to play father,” he growls as you hear Jeno chuckle. “You breaking her in for me are you?” he sniggers that makes you slightly irritated. “You can’t compete with me, but have your attempt,” Jeno vindictively laughs as Donghyuk flips him off walking out the room.

“As much as I would like to give you my baby,” he adds sympathetically shaking the foil in his hand. “Knocking up your sister Inlaw isn’t advised,” you sniggered. “No let’s not complicate this any more further then we have to,” he reply’s. He goes to unbelt his jeans but your hands fall to his. “You taking the lead are you?” he asks excitedly as your lips press to him for a snatched kiss. “I should at least participate in helping to produce some moans myself,” you said falling to your knee. “Hey did I tell you how much of a turn on it is having a girl take control,” he smirks down to you. “You got a submissive kink?” You tilt your head as your hand fumbles his buttons of his Jeans. “No when I’m fucking I’m in control,” he grows confidently. Hands finding their way to bring his jeans and boxers down you find his cock snapping back up. Yes it wasn’t the size of Jeno’s but it was equally as impressive. Wrapping your hands around his shaft you feel him flex his muscles to show off. Pumping him slowly he hisses in enjoyment. Letting your hand work him so the veins are throbbing, you let your mouth come closer. Tongue swirling around the head you enjoy tasting his precum. Taking more of his shaft, you start to let your mouth slide around him till you can take as much as you can handle. Hands finding your hair he scrunches moaning not caring that your hair is falling from their band. Starting your pace slow your tongue helps to rub under his shaft. Moans falling from his lips encourages your tempo to increase. “Shit…. calm down…. I’m going to cum,” fall from his lips as you chuckle. “Fuck don’t do that,” he hisses as goosebumps fill his skin from the vibration of your amusement. Hands finding his testicles he growls forcing him to remove himself. “Baby what’s up?” You pout looking up towards him. “Don’t baby me,” he growls, picking you up his lips crashing with yours as you collide with the wall. “I want to fuck you wearing my clothes,” he grins smitten removing himself. Letting his PJ bottoms your wearing fall, he chokes noticing you’ve been pantyless. “Y/N, you are not as innocent as you like to portray,” he says amused. “Never said I was,” you said tilting your head his way as his fingers find your heat. “Wow your already soaking wet, huh,” he sniggered amused as he rolls his fingers around your sensitive nub. “Baby, please just fuck me, we can play another day,” you whimper lolling your head on his shoulder, feeling the burning need driving you crazy. “Another day hey, so what is this a full on affair behind future hubby’s back,” he smirks slipping his fingers into your soaking core. “Can’t be an affair when he gave permission,” you gasp as your walls tighten around his digits. “True, true cupcake,” he says peppering kisses along your jaw before his fingers start fucking into you at speed. “Shit Hyukkie,” you whimper. “That’s good baby let him know who’s making you feel good,” Donghyuk said speeding his tempo. “I want you to know,” you cry as his speed increases. “Oh cupcake I do.” He says confidently as his fingers find the soft padding of your sensitive spot. “Aaaargh Hyukkie,” you scream was your walls clamp around him. “Fuck I want those walls around my cock.” He says removing them to rush to the foil he placed on the side.

“I’ve only had sex once before,” you whimper, anxiety hitting you from no where when you hear Jeno’s grunts from his own room. “Cupcake, trust me i’ll make this feel good,” he said reassuring you that you almost choke from remembering hearing the same words from Jeno. Fully covered he reassumed the kisses a lot more steady and passionate as he lines himself. Caging you against the wall, he slowly pushed himself in. Either it was his size or still not being use to enlarged men fucking you, you whimper as he slows his attempt to sink himself in. Thrusting with just the tip he waits till your ready to consume him further. Like he’s impatient, he pushes the whole of him in you that you cry out filling him stretch you. “Sorry, sorry I’m too greedy right now, your pussy is like a drug to me,” he whimpers into the crook of your neck as he stills. Waiting for you to adjust he starts his pace mixtures of torturous slow, as well as the deep slams to hear you cry out. You can hear silence coming from the room behind you, Like your sounds have silenced theirs. Hands digging into your ass cheeks he helps to slam you down onto his cock. His thrusts heavy yet precise that he’s hitting your cervix each time. It feels as if your swallowing him and your wall quivers around him, tethering around your release. “I’m going to cum,” you whimper as he smirks your way. Snapping his hip as his pace increases, his eyes heavily focuses on you. “Cum cupcake, cum round my cock,” he coos as your body obeys as you convulse around him. Spilling mews of his own and mantras of your name, he spills his load into the condom. His head lolls on your chest as he rides out his remaining thrusts.

Heavy panting you both struggle to catch your breath. “I’ll help you escape,” He says eventually into the quietness. “What?” You question as his head lifts to face you. “I will find a way to free you from this family,” he adds pressing his finger under your chin to face him, before pressing a kiss to your lips once more

To be continued

Masterlist

#kpop smut #kpopidol #fiction #nct dream smut #lee jeno smut #Lee Donghyuk smut #na jaemin #lee mark #zhong chenle #huang renjun #park jisung

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allforyujinz · 11 months ago

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𝙉𝘾𝙏 𝘿𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙢 𝙢𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:**:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟˏˋ°•*⁀➷*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧･

𝙈𝙖𝙧𝙠:

↳ None yet!

𝙍𝙚𝙣𝙟𝙪𝙣:

↳ None yet!

𝙅𝙚𝙣𝙤:

↳ None yet!

𝙃𝙖𝙚𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙣:

↳ None yet!

𝙅𝙖𝙚𝙢𝙞𝙣:

↳ bf jaemin texts!

𝘾𝙝𝙚𝙣𝙡𝙚:

↳ None yet!

𝙅𝙞𝙨𝙪𝙣𝙜

↳ None yet!

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:**:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟˏˋ°•*⁀➷*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧･

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vnti-vnxiety-recs · 1 year ago

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The Harder I Fall (M)

★ PAIRING: Toxic Ex! Haechan x Toxic?Reader

☆ WORD COUNT: 9.5K

★ GENRE(S): Smut, Angst, Drama, Ex2Lover

☆ SUMMARY: You find it hard to return to your normal day-to-day life after you break up with your ex, Haechan. He makes it his duty to make your life a living hell in order to see you. You're not sure why you thought it would be a good idea to date your cute punk rock neighbor, but you are soon to regret it.

★ ☆ WARNINGS: Swearing. Various acts of sexual intercourse. Unprotected sex. Unwanted creampie. Dubcon. Spit. Light choking, Brief mention of drinking. Kinda manipulation on hyuck’s part to get readers attention? Reader got commitment issues. Probably a bad description of punk rock band idk brah. MDNI

☆★ NOTES: this is the final installment of THE POISON ARCHIVES, this one is not as toxic as the other ones but still has toxic elements so beware

:･ﾟ✧:･.☽˚｡･ﾟ✧:･.::･ﾟ✧:･.☽˚｡･ﾟ✧:･.::･ﾟ✧:･.☽˚｡･ﾟ✧:･.::･ﾟ✧

♫₊˚."Rehashing these feelings Swallowing the pain"♫₊˚.

You don't know why you thought it was a good idea to date someone who lives in the same apartment complex as you. You wish you would have thought this through when you said yes to your next-door neighbor's proposal when he suggested that you two start dating. Because now that you two have broken up, you are stuck seeing him every day.

When you return from work, you can never seem to avoid him, always catching him on the way up to your apartment. If that wasn't awkward enough, you have to listen to him bring girls home every other night. You don't think your relationship ended on bad terms, but he thinks differently. You know he does because on the nights when he doesn't have someone screaming his name, a constant reminder of the person you want to forget, he is blasting music at frequencies you can't drown out. Ever since you two broke up, your ex-boyfriend Haechan has been a pain in the ass. He makes it his duty to make your life a living hell. He knows your schedule, so he knows exactly when to bother you. Tonight is one of those nights. You had come from work late as usual, and all you wanted to do was lay in bed and sleep.

Not on Haechan’s watch

Haechan is blasting old 90s rock music when you're walking up the stairs to your apartment. You internally groan as you fish out your keys from your pocket, unlocking your door, and you try to stay positive. Today has been a good day for you so far, and you wanted to keep it that way.

"At Least he doesn't have someone over," you think in return. You would much rather listen to old rock music than some random girl's high-pitched moaning and the repeated banging of the headboard against the wall. Sometimes you wonder if that's what your other neighbors had to go through when you and Haechan were together. You head for the shower and pray that by the time you get out, he's getting ready for bed. It's already 12 a.m.; he should be tired by now.

The reason you and Haechan were able to get close in the first place was because you both were night owls. You both worked late and always returned home at the same time. You would catch him in the parking lot as you two made your way home. Sometimes he would invite you over, and you two would talk about work and whatever else crossed your mind at 1 a.m. Through these late-night convos You found out that Haechan was just his nickname; your handsome neighbor's name was actually Donghyuk. You also learned that he was in a band that primarily made its income through gigs at bars and other small venues, and that Haechan was the name he used on stage. Although everyone called him Haechan, you thought his real name was cute and couldn't help but give him a nickname based on it. When you first started calling him Hyuck, he hated it, but it grew on him. You enjoyed your late-night chats with Haechan, and you wanted to see more of him, so when one night he asked you out on a date, you couldn't say no. After that, you two started to see each other more often and began to date.

You were in a relationship with Haechan for five months before you broke up with him. You were having to work a lot more overtime to pay the bills, and you just didn't have time for a relationship anymore. You thought Haechan would understand and that things would be cool between you two, but obviously not.

After you exited the shower, his music was still blasting, and you could practically feel the bass rattling your bones. How has he not been evicted by now? Did your other neighbors just not have ears, or maybe yours were just too sensitive? You wrap yourself securely in your robe and march over to his doorstep. You bang on his door repeatedly for at least a minute before he answers. Haechan swings the door open, meeting your gaze with one that matches your level of annoyance. How dare he act like you're inconveniencing him when he's the one keeping the entire neighborhood awake!

"I know you're a struggling artist and all, but you at least own a clock, right?" You deadpan with a quirk of your eyebrow.

"Of course I do. How else would I know what time to piss you off?" He smiles sarcastically.

You absolutely hate this little back-and-forth that you have going on with him. You know he does this to get your attention so that you come charging over here and bang down his door. He just wants to see you, and you hate to give him what he wants, but you know it's the only way to get him to turn down the music.

"Pls Hyuck I have work tomorrow, and it's late. I just want to sleep," you plead with him exasperatedly.

"What do I get in return?" He asks, looking down at you through his bangs. He must have just finished a show because his eyes were still smothered in smokey black liner.

"I won't file a noise complaint; It's my third one this week. Didn't the landlord say they would kick you out if I complained again?" He knows they're empty threats, but he's gotten what he wanted, so he lets them go.

"Since you asked so nicely. I'll do it just this once," he says, shutting the door in your face, and in the next few seconds, the music is lowered to a bearable hum through the walls. Once you play his little game, he's always kind enough to reward you, as he always has. When you return home and find it quiet enough to sleep.

Haechan knew the first thing you would do when the two of you broke up was try to avoid him at all costs, but he wasn't going to let that happen. He's always making excuses to have to see you. Sometimes, when he's not at home and he knows you will be, he asks you to grab a package for him or groceries that he ordered so that you can bring them to him later. Other times he will knock on your door, asking to borrow a few eggs or your hammer—anything he can think of that he knows you have. You have already come to accept the fact that you can't get rid of him, but that doesn't stop you from trying.

It's been a few days since the music incident, and miraculously, you haven't seen him around. Lately, you can hear him getting home just a few minutes ahead of you. He must have been too tired to bother you lately; either that or he's matured past his little pranks. You think tonight is another night that you're in the clear. When you arrive home, you don't see Haechan’s car in the parking lot. You don't want to run into him, so you rush up the stairs to your apartment. You giddyly look for your house keys, thinking you finally got one over on him, when you realize they are missing from your keyring. The keyring is old and bent out of shape, so the key must have slipped off during the day. You were horrified; you were beyond tired and in desperate need of a nice warm shower. You let out a huff of annoyance. You could stay at your friend's house for the night, but she lives 30 minutes away, and you don't think you can get behind the wheel of a car without immediately driving off the nearest cliff.

You were already having a rough day, and this was the icing on the cake. Before you can wrack your brain for a solution, an even bigger problem presents itself. Haechan returns home with his bass strapped to his back and his hair a wild mess. He must have returned from band practice, probably getting into another fight with one of his members. He meets your eyes with a tired smile.

"You look like shit," you comment before you can stop yourself.

"I think you meant hello; how was your day?" He rolls his eyes as he reaches his door. He begins fishing his keys out of his jacket pocket when he turns to you again. "Why are you sitting here?" he questions with a quirk of a brow.

"I think the air is fresher during this time," you say mockingly.

"Oh really? Well, have fun with that princess," he smirks as he finally unlocks his door, letting himself inside.

He leaves you outside. Curse you and your big mouth. Would it kill you to be nice? You really didn't want to ask, but you really had no choice. You worked a double shift today, and your body was on the brink of collapse. You knew what he wanted; he wanted you to come crawling to him for a favor so he could hold it over your head, and you really didn't want to give into his games, but just like always, you had no choice. After 10 minutes of contemplation, you knock on his door softly. A few seconds pass before he opens the door.

"What? Is the air not fresh enough?" He mocks, leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed.

"Look, I'm sorry for earlier, but I'm locked out, and today has not been my day. Can I stay over?" You plead.

Hmm, maybe you should ask a little nicer, and I'll consider it. '' That bastard was definitely getting a kick out of this. What was his redeeming quality again?

"Please, hyuck, just do me this one favor; I promise I'll pay you back." You gritted your teeth.

"You better keep your promise," he says as he opens the door wider for you to come in. "You already know where everything is to make yourself comfortable; I'm gonna hop in the shower." He leaves you to go grab what he needs as you take off your shoes to follow him to his room.

You sat your things down on the nightstand by his bed. "I don't mind sharing a bed with you; just stay on your side, get it?" You look at him with an accusatory glare.

Haechan raises his hands in defense with a smile as he walks backwards into the bathroom. He doesn't say anything more and shuts the door behind him. You busy yourself and go through his drawers to find a comfy shirt and a pair of his boxers. You grab a towel from the towel closet and wait your turn for the shower. You scroll on your phone as you wait. When Haechan finally exits, he's wearing a plain white shirt and his boxers. Even in the simplest of clothes, he looks so good. You distract yourself with your phone again, hoping he doesn't catch you staring at him as he dries his hair in the mirror.

"Did you leave me some hot water?" you question, knowing that he probably used it all just to get on your nerves. He always liked it when you got angry at him.

"Of course, what kind of host would I be if I didn't?" he says as he plops down next to you on the bed. "I also thought of a way you can repay me," he says, looking up at you with a smug look on his face.

"If it's something perverted, absolutely not," you say as you stand to get in the shower.

"It's innocent, I promise," he laughs.

You don't hear him as you shut yourself inside his bathroom, turning on the water. You knew Haechan’s definition of innocence was definitely far from normal. This wasn't good. Sleeping in the same bed as your ex? Especially one that loves tormenting you, was not a smart move. You knew he was up to no good the moment you saw him come up the stairs. He looked tired, but as soon as he laid eyes on you, you could see a fire ignite behind them.

You finish freshening up and sport the clothes you stole from his drawer. When you join him on the bed, he's scrolling on his phone. When he lowers his phone and stares at you with a quirked eyebrow, you finally take notice of how close you were to him. It was a force of habit. Your body was just naturally drawn to him like a magnet. You scoot back a bit with a sheepish smile and a nervous laugh. He sets his phone down and shakes his head. He reaches over, looping an arm around your waist and pulling you into his chest.

"You know better than to run from me, love," he smirks.

Him and that stupid smirk! It was like it was permanently etched onto his stupidly smug face. The stupidly smug face that you fell in love with—the stupidly smug face you're trying so hard not to kiss

"Don't call me that," you hesitantly whisper.

"But you get to call me Hyuk?" He retaliated. He rests his forehead against yours while you hold eye contact.

He had a point; it wasn't fair that you got to call him your favorite nickname when you two were together, but he couldn't. It just felt too intimate to you, though.

"Should I call you Haechan?" You start, but he cuts you off.

"Can we just stay like this? Just for tonight, can you let me pretend that you're mine again?" he whispers, a breath away from your face. He didn't mind you calling him Hyuck; it was the only proof he had left that you still loved him. If you called him Haechan, he had nothing else to hold onto.

"I don't think that's a good idea." You hesitate.

"Please, you owe me, remember? Let me just hold you like this just for tonight." Haechan is often one to make jokes, but at this moment he is as serious as ever.

You sigh in defeat. Owing Haechan a favor is never good, but this was a pretty tame request for him. You just didn't know the effect it might have on your heart later. As usual, you ignore the possible consequences and agree. He leans in and pecks the corner of your mouth, holding his lips there for a second longer than necessary.

"Hey, you said we would only cuddle!" You reprimanded him.

"Let me have just a little more, ok? I promise I'll be good to you from now on. No more loud music," he bargains.

You should have known he would have been content with just cuddling. Haechan was always an affectionate lover, and he always needed to feel all of you to be satisfied. His pecks trail from your cheek to your jaw, and when they reach your neck, they blossom into kisses. At this point, you're breathless and squirming. His arm that was around your waist unwraps itself, so he can use his hand to massage your lower back. His slow, passionate kisses turn wet and sloppy when he grabs your ass. He can't help the groan that escapes his mouth at the feeling. At this point, you wanted to feel more of him. You knew he wouldn't touch you like you wanted, though, Not until you asked. Even when he was the one who started it, he couldn't help but have you begging for him.

He pushes your shirt up past your chest as His kisses move lower, leaving hickeys in his wake. You try to hold on; you really do, but when he ventures even lower to leave kisses near your navel and then to the tops of your thighs, you crack.

"Hyuck… just a little more."

"Just a little more?" He repeats your words back to you. You bite your lip and nod your head. "You want me to touch you more, pretty? I thought we were only going to cuddle?" He questions spreading your legs so he can lay between them.

"Just a little farther; it's ok if we go just a little bit farther," you relent.

"If that's what my princess wants," Haechan pulls your shorts swiftly from your core and settles back down. He looks into your eyes once more to make sure it was really okay, and when you let out a moan and buck your hips into his face, he knows you can't bear to wait any longer. Haechan licks a fat stripe from the heat of your core to your clit and showers it in gentle kisses.

"Please... more," you cry.

"So greedy!" Haechan tsks at you and finally sucks your clit into his mouth.

He can't hold himself back anymore and begins to eat you out like he really means it, wrapping his arms around your thighs to hold you down. He's making a mess as he spits onto your pussy, adding to the slickness. Before you know it, he's fucking his tongue deep into you, moaning at the taste. Your chest is heaving at this point, and you can't help but grab his hair and try to fuck his face. You roll your hips deep into his mouth, practically riding his nose as it bumps against you, clit at your movements.

He pulls away, and before you can even moan out a complaint, he's bringing two fingers to your entrance and slowly penetrates you with them, holding eye contact as he hums a sound of approval at how well you take his fingers. He licks his lips clean as he fucks his fingers into you faster. You pull his hair again, but this time you're pulling him up so you can kiss him. It's the first real kiss you've shared since the breakup, and it's all teeth and tongue as he's knuckle-deep in your pussy. You moan into his mouth as he sucks on your tongue. He pulls away to look at you with heavy lids; a single string of saliva connects you and breaks when he licks his lips.

"You gonna let me fuck you, baby?"

"Hyuck, we really shouldn't be doing this," you slur.

"Just the tip, I promise."

"You also promised just cuddles."

"We are cuddling, extreme cuddling, '' he jests. You've already crossed the line with him, so what's the harm in indulging a little more?

"Just the tip," you say with a nod, pulling him into another messy kiss.

You pull off his shirt and push his boxers down past his hips, and he takes them off the rest of the way. His length slaps against his stomach in all of its glory, and you know you're fucked. There's no way you'll be satisfied with just the tip. You haven't had him in so long, and he's so long. He always made sure to fuck you so that you’d never forget the feeling. He filled you up just right and knew how to make sure you felt every inch of him. He guides his tip to your entrance and coats it in your slick, letting it trail up and down your slit, prodding your entrance. He lazily thrusts forward, making his length slip up and nudging you clit. He did this a few more times, knowing it would drive you up a wall. You wrap your legs around his waist, threatening to pull him closer.

"Just the tip, baby, remember?" He reminds you that you're the one who suggested this stupid idea in the first place.

You shoot him a glare, and before you can choose the right words to verbally abuse him, he's sliding in. He keeps his work and just fucks his tip into you, using his hand to act as a barrier so he couldn't slip father into you. He pushes in, and when he pulls out, he smacks the head of his cock against your pussy creating a wet sound from how drenched you are. He repeats it a couple of times before fucking his tip back into you.

You notice that the longer he fucks you, the lower his hand slides down his cock as he sneakily fucks more into you with each thrust. You don't even think he notices because, when you look up at him, his lip is caught between his teeth. He looks like he's concentrating so hard to not slip more. After a few more thrusts, his hand is gone completely, and he's fucking deep into you.

"You liar," you smile. You knew he couldn't do it from the beginning, but you admire his perseverance. You reward him by clamping your walls down on him. He lets out a shaky whine and takes a deep breath.

"I'm sorry," and the look he gives you genuinely reflects remorse, but not because of what he did but because of what he's about to do.

He roughly unhooks your legs from around his waist and manhandles you onto your arms and knees just to shove you down onto your chest so that your ass is the only thing stuck in the air. He reenters swiftly and fucks you from behind. He's snapping his hips deep into you; it's almost too much. You reach your hand back to rest on his hips, and he grabs onto it and pins it to your lower back.

"Come on love, I know you can take it; fuck me like you mean it," he groans.

He's almost as fucked out as you are; no one else can ever make him feel like you do. He struggles to keep his eyes from rolling to the back of his head when you fuck back into him with a vengeance. He told you to fuck him, so you do. You throw your hips back into him so hard that he stops moving. He's trying his hardest to pull himself together, but all he can do is take it. Mouth agape as he moans at the feeling. You think you might have gotten the upper hand on him, but then he pulls out of you and flips you back onto your back, throwing a leg over his shoulder as he starts hitting deep again. At this point, he's gone. He's completely pussy drunk, and you can't see a thought behind his eyes as he drills into you.

"Hyuck.. Don't forget to pull out," you moan, barely able to catch your breath.

If he can hear you, he sure doesn't show it; his pace doesn't let up, and he's pressing a hand against your lower stomach. He can feel himself inside of you and can only moan. Any previous worries you had are completely wiped from your mind as you tighten around him and release all over his cock. He fucks you through it, and when you meet his eyes again, you know he's about to cum. His brows are furrowed, and he's biting his lip so hard that you're surprised he hasn't drawn blood.

"Hyuck. Pull. out," you try to say sternly, but it comes out as more of a whine as the overstimulation sets in. Haechan shakes his head as his grip on your waist tightens. He can't think straight when you feel this good. At this point, he can't even control his moans as they spill out. He's close, and you do the only thing you can think of to snap him out of it.

You slapped him across the face.

You think you may have brought him back down to earth, but when he lets out a high-pitched moan, you know you're screwed, and not in a fun way. His hips stutter, and he's releasing deep inside you, hiding his face in the crock of your neck as he tries to ride out his high. Every weak thrust is accompanied by a pained moan from him as he continues to fuck you.

"No more hyuck!" You scold him and push on his shoulders. You pull his head back by his hair so he can meet your eyes. "Pull out," you glare.

He knows he messed up and finally pulls out. When he rolls over next to you, you slap and pinch his arms and chest.

"You're unbelievable! Just the tip, my ass!" You yell at him, and he's trying to roll away from you on the bed, but you follow him, continuing your assault.

"I'm sorry I got too carried away; I couldn't resist. Don't worry, I'll buy you a plan B first thing in the morning," he says with a flinch each time you attack him. You finally settle down with a huff and lay facing away from him.

"I know your memory sucks, but remember this was a one-time thing; after tonight we go back to normal," you mumble.

Haechan scoots closer to you and lays a soft kiss on your shoulder. Well, then let me savor this moment," he says in a whisper that you almost don't catch. He pulls you back into his chest and warps you up in his body, and you let him. As much as you want to be mad at him, Haechan is like a giant teddy bear; you always feel safe in his arms, and soon you're fast asleep.

:･ﾟ✧:･.☽˚｡･ﾟ✧:･.::･ﾟ✧:･.☽˚｡･

The next morning, Haechan stays true to his word and goes to grab you a plan B as you wait for your landlord to give you a new key. When he returns, he finds his apartment empty. He assumes you were able to get into yours. He knocks on your door, and when you answer, he hands you the pills. You don't spare him a look or even a thank-you as you shut the door in his face again. Haechan may suck at keeping his word, but you don’t.

You were set on making sure you didn't cross the line with him ever again. During the week, he begins to notice your colder than usual behavior, so he goes back on his word about the loud music as well. You don't want to see him, so you try texting him instead. When you ask for him to turn the music down, this time he ignores you and leaves you on read.

It's like you two are back at square one. You should be happy, but a part of you kind of hates the fact that you two have become bickering neighbors once again, this time worse than the last. You know Haechan is only acting like this because he's hurt. You confirm this when you sometimes catch him in the breezeway returning home from work, but he doesn't try to make small talk anymore; he looks more tired as the days progress. One day, you can't ignore the bags under his eyes any longer. You know you're the one who made him like this.

He returned home at the same time as you; you were always scheduled on the closing shift again, so when you arrive, Haechan is unlocking his door. You find the courage to speak.

"Hey, are you okay?" you ask, concern filling your voice.

"I'm fine," he sneers, pushing his door open. Before he can enter, grab his arm.

I'm worried about you. Have you been getting enough sleep?" You ask, trying to meet his eyes, but he's avoiding eye contact. He snatches his arm away from you.

"Since when do you care what happens to me?! I thought you wanted me to stay away. Fuck. off," he snaps and slams his door in your face.

You know to let him cool off when he gets like this, so you decide to leave him be. Maybe you can catch him in a better mood tomorrow and ask. Before you can enter your apartment, you hear a loud thud from Haechan's apartment. You think maybe he dropped something, but the absolute silence that follows has you worried. You don't hear any footsteps or movement coming from the apartment, so you go to knock.

Hyuck, I'm sorry I upset you, but is everything okay in there?" You wait for a response, but nothing comes.

"Hyuck?.....if you're ok, please answer me." You twist the doorknob to his apartment and notice he left it unlocked.

When you open the door, you find him lying on the floor. His eyes were shut tight, and his chest was heaving. You rush over to his side to check on him. When you touch his skin, he's sweating heavily and burning up. He clearly has a fever.

Hyuck, I know you don't feel good, but we've got to get you to a hospital," you say, trying to help him to his feet.

"No, I'll be fine; I just need to lay down," he says, stumbling as he stands.

You help him to his room and lay him down. You help take off his shoes and change him into something more comfortable to sleep in other than his usual ripped skinny jeans and leather jacket. Once you get him settled in bed, you grab a towel and chill it in cool water so you can help cool him down. He's been up for half the night, tossing and turning from the uncomfortable heat of the fever. Eventually, he's able to cool down and enter a deep sleep. You stay by his side all night and call into work once morning comes. When Haechan wakes up the next morning, he finds you asleep by his side and feels terrible. He knows how much you hate missing work and feels bad that he was the reason why. He gently shakes you awake. Once you're up, you immediately reach for his forehead. He's still a bit too warm for your liking, so you hop out of bed.

"Where are you going?" he asks.

"I'm gonna grab you some soup, and you're still running hot, so I'm going to grab you some ice." Before you can get too far, he grabs your arm.

"Thank you for staying with me, but I promise I can take care of myself."

"I've already called out of work today; you might as well let me take care of you," you counter.

He lets your arm go and falls back into the sheets. In truth, he still felt terrible; he was having a hard time even trying to sit up. He's been feeling a little under the weather for a few days now, but he's been able to persevere through it. His body must have just given up on him at this point. When you return, you have an ice pack and some chicken soup. You helped him sit up and fed him since he still seemed really weak. After you made sure he ate, you tucked him back into bed and set the towel on his head. You turned on his TV and put it at a low volume so as not to give him a headache, and you binge-watched a few shows as he fell back asleep.

It's around 9 p.m., and he's still heavily sleeping when you're bored of the shows you've been watching on Netflix. You decide to straighten up around the house a bit. Haechan isn't particularly dirty, but he hasn't had the time to properly clean up in a while due to his schedule. He has band rehearsals during the day and is booked for gigs at night. When he's not with the band, he's out partying. He only ever returns in the dead of night.

When you two were together, though, Haechan made an effort to make more time for you. He showed up late to rehearsals, stopped partying, and even turned down a few well-paying gigs to spend more time with you. You, on the other hand, refused to call off work. You were constantly working overtime, and you made no effort to make time for him. He tried really hard to be understanding; he was happy with the time he got to spend with you; he knew you had a lot of bills to pay, and he did too. At one point, he realized it wasn't enough; if you truly loved him, you would want to make time for him and make an effort. All he wanted was to know that you loved him, so he asked you to take more time off so you guys could go on more dates. When you agreed, he was content. You were finally making time for him; you must love him. He thought everything was going well until you broke up with him. You told him he was a distraction from work and that you didn't have the time for a relationship at the moment. He was heartbroken. He tries to take it back; he tells you that it's ok that you don't see each other, but you insist that he should be with someone who has more time for him. You said it wasn't fair to him. That's how your relationship became what it was.

You think you let him go out of love; he thinks you gave up on him.

You finish cleaning around 11 p.m. and go next door to your place to grab some more of your stuff. You grab your skin care essentials, body wash, and a new pair of clothes. You set up your things in his bathroom as you shower. It was bringing back memories of when you used to be together. You were always at his place and kept a lot of your stuff there. You shower, and when you get out, you start your skin care routine. While looking in the mirror, you can't help but reminisce about the old memories.

You finish up and return to his side. You checked his temperature again with the thermometer you got from your apartment. He was able to kill his fever. You figure his body is just catching up on all the missed sleep from the past couple of days. You don't want to disturb him, so you exit the room and lay on his couch. You stare at the ceiling.

How did it become like this? Since the last time you saw him, feelings that you previously thought had died have come back full force. That's why you were so bent on avoiding him at all costs. You were already confused, and being near him would only muddle your feelings more. You didn’t want to listen to your heart; you wanted to listen to logic. No matter how much you missed him, it would not work out. You couldn't afford to think with your heart; you didn't want to hurt him again, but it seemed the more you pushed him away, the harder he fell for you.

What was that saying? Absence makes the heart fonder. Well, whatever it was, it had you running laps in your mind, trying to escape thoughts of him. All you could think about was Haechan. If you're being honest, your job wasn't the only reason you pushed Haechan away. You were a little scared; you had never cared for someone as much as you did for Haechan. Your other relationships always ended before things got too serious, and you were afraid that this one would end up like the others. You were afraid of being hurt by him. You didn't want him to leave you, so you left first. You hurt him before he could get the chance to hurt you. You were a coward, and it seemed like you would stay that way forever.

You don't know when you fell asleep, but you wake up to the smell of coffee and breakfast. You sit up and feel the weight of a cover as it pools around your waist at your sudden movements. You don't remember grabbing one last night.

"Hyuck?" You call out, half asleep.

"Sorry for all the trouble I caused you, but I'm feeling better now," he reassures you as he sets a plate of food down on the coffee table in front of you.

You smile at him gently and reach for the food. "I'm glad to hear that." Silence falls between the two of you as you both eat. Once you're done, you clean up the mess you left behind and turn to him once again. "Well, I should get going," you say awkwardly.

"You can stay if you want," He says hopefully.

"No, I think I've already overstayed my welcome."

"You're always welcome."

"Hyuck…please"

He runs his hand across his face, trying to collect his emotions, and says, "You know what? Do whatever you want; I don't care anymore." Even though this is what you wanted, it still hurts to hear him say it. You quietly leave and return home.

:･ﾟ✧:･.☽˚｡･ﾟ✧:･.::･ﾟ✧:･.☽˚｡･

Tonight, you're going out for the first time in a long time. Your friend Jungwoo was finally able to convince you to take a night off. He even offers to pay you for any hours that you miss. You reject his offer to pay you, but you do join him for a night out. After all this time, you deserve to relax a little. You can't just work until you die.

You and Jungwoo go clubbing, and you're having a great time. Haechan was right; you have to stop working so much and live a little. If you have to budget a little harder or even move into a smaller apartment, you think it's worth it if you get to spend less time at work and more time around the people you actually care about. You're sitting at the bar with Jungwoo when you hear a commotion behind you. At the back of the club was a stage. The club had strippers that put on shows some nights; tonight must have been one of those nights. That's what you think when you see people crowding around the stage, but when you see a band set up on the stage, you think that's highly unlikely.

"Oh god, please no," you silently pray.

Jungwoo turns once he realizes you're not paying attention to the story he's telling you. He follows your line of sight to the stage. "A band must be playing tonight," he says, taking a sip from his drink. Hey, didn't your ex used to... oh my god," he says as he finally catches up to speed with the situation. "You don't think..." he asks, turning to you again.

You pray and pray that it's not who you think it is when you see five silhouettes walk onto the dark stage. The band finally finishes setting up in the dark, and when the lights illuminate them in all their glory, you can't help but curse every god in existence.

Of course, it was The Neos.

"It's fucking him," you say, turning to Jungwoo with wide eyes.

Look, don't worry about him tonight; we came here to have fun, and seeing your hot ex isn't going to change that."

"Jungwoo!"

"I'm sorry, look at him!"

look at him? You could barely take your eyes off of him! His messy hair is a little longer than the last time you saw him. His eyes were adorned with his signature black eyeliner, and he was wearing simple black ripped skinny jeans and a baggy t-shirt. His fingers were littered with rings, and he was wearing his favorite bracelet. When you looked closely, you spotted a silver lip piercing sitting pretty against his plump, heart-shaped lips.

"Wanna get closer?" Jungwoo suggests you can only nod your head, still distracted by your ex’s new look.

You get closer to the stage, and he looks even more delectable up close. You're so terrible. You pushed him away all those times just to imagine pulling him closer to you under different circumstances. This was your first time ever hearing him play with his band. He’s played you a few songs before at home, but you never made time to actually see him play at a gig. He was amazing; he was truly born to be on stage.

As the band played, the crowd got bigger and more lively, jumping to the music. You almost forgot you were at a club and not a concert. Reality comes crashing back down on you when you lock eyes with Haechan. You immediately stop dancing, and it's like the entire world slows down. The flashing strobe lights and the bodies around you all move in slow motion as you're locked into this moment with Haechan. You can't hear anything; all you can see is Haechan. His eyes don't leave you for a few more moments, but when they finally do, it's like the spell is broken.

Everything begins to move again, and you can hear the music blaring, but you're still rooted to your spot on the floor. Jungwoo turns to look at you to ask if you're okay, and that's when you notice the band has wrapped up their last song. The crowd is starting to thin out when you see him jump down from the stage with the bass still hanging from his shoulders. When Jungwoo doesn't get a response from you, he turns to see where your eyes are looking.

"Oh shit he's coming this way." Jungwoo tries to be a good friend and pull you away, but it's too late.

"Hey, can I talk to you for a bit?" Haechan says it loud enough to be heard over the music of the club that resumed playing after their set.

"I don't think..." Jungwoo starts before looking at you for reassurance.

"It's ok, Woo, I'll just be a minute, ok?" You say this as you finally manage to pull yourself together.

"Are you sure?" he hesitates.

"Positive, I'll text you when I'm ready, ok?" You say this before following Haechan to the back of the club. He's guiding you through the back halls of the club when you two finally reach the spare room the band was using to store their extra equipment. Everyone was already packing up.

"Hey, we're heading out—oh, who's this?" the one with the pink hair says.

"This is my ex," Haechan somewhat introduces you.

‘Hello ex. I’m Jaemin," he flirts with a smile.

"Cut it out Jaem, before he punches you again," said a smaller male with messy brown hair.

"I'm just messing around Renjun. We all know he still loves his ex; he won't shut up about her." Jaemin laughs,adjusting a gig bag over his shoulder.

"Im going to fucking kill you." Before Haechan can make a move forward, another male finally speaks up; this one was probably the buffest next to Jaemin. He grabs a hold of Haechan's arm.

Guys, cut it out. Mark is already waiting for us in the van. Come on before he leaves us again."

"Jen's right, let's go. They obviously want to be alone," the one they called Renjun said.

The boys clear out the room supplies in tow, leaving the room almost as barren as when they arrived, save for you two still occupying the space. Haechin heaves a big sigh, his cheeks still tinted pink with embarrassment. "I'm sorry about them; they just like to tease me," he tries to cover up.

You nod, trying to help him change the subject. "You guys were amazing tonight. I knew you were good at playing, but hearing you with a band was incredible," you gush.

Haechan can't fight the huge smile that takes over his face. "That means a lot." An awkward silence falls between you two as you run out of things to say.

"So you wanted to talk to me?" You rock back and forth on your heels nervously.

"Honestly, I didn't really have anything to say; I just wanted to see you again."

It's been a hot minute since the last time you saw Haechan. Lately, you have been completely missing him in the parking lot and in the breezeway. He stopped playing loud music completely, and if he was bringing home girls, you couldn't hear them anymore. It's almost like the apartment next to you is empty.

Well, here I am," you say with an awkward smile.

A few beats pass, and he finally speaks again. "I see you came out with Jungwoo. What? Are you two together now?" He says it a bit bitterly.

"Oh god, Hyuck, don't start; you know I don't do relationships."

"So you're fucking him?"

"I didn't say that!"

Well, what is it then? He can convince you to take off work for a night out, but I couldn't even get you to spare me a few hours of your time?"

"Hyuck, you know that's not true! Look, I didn't come here to argue, ok?" You yell exasperatedly.

"Come home with me," he states. It's not really a question.

"I'm out with someone right now." You look away from him.

He stands in front of you now, "still too busy to fit me into your schedule?"

You remain silent.

"Too busy for me, but never too busy to take my cock like a fucking slut," he sneers.

"Go to hell," you say, pushing him away from you.

"What. Am I wrong? The only time you spent with me was when we were fucking. Let's be real." The usual warmth isn't behind his eyes anymore; they are almost as cold and steely as the lip ring that adorns his lip.

You're such a fucking jerk; I broke up with you because I knew I couldn't provide you with the attention you so desperately crave all the time. I kept it real with you from the beginning! I could have strung you along, but I ended it before it got too serious." At this point, you're fuming.

Oh, yeah, right! I'm sick of hearing your excuses; you knew your schedule from the moment you said yes. You knew what you were signing up for. Just admit it. You're scared of commitment; you were scared of it getting too serious."

You feel called out because he was 100% right. "Fuck you, Haechan."

"I bet you would love to, princess," he spits back.

You both stare at each other, chests heaving from anger. "Tell him you're not going back with him."

"You can't seriously still be on tha-" Before you can finish your sentence, his lips are locked on yours.

One moment you're screaming at each other; the next you're ripping each other's clothes off. There was no way this was healthy, but you didn't care because Haechan was your favorite drug. He's pushing you back into the vanity in the corner of the room and lifting you onto the tabletop. You spread your legs, allowing him room in between. You can feel his hard length through the tight fabric of his pants. You feel The cool metal of his lip piercing when you kiss him, and you can't help but imagine how it would feel on other, more intimate parts of your body. You grind against the front of his pants, trying to feel more of him as you breathe him in like he's the only air you need, until your lungs are screaming at you for air.

"You're no good for me, but I can't get enough," he mumbles between breaths.

Your fingers find purchase in his already messy hair as you use it to pull him towards you once again. You two continue to make out when your phone starts ringing in your back pocket. You try to ignore it, but Haechan can’t. He knows who's probably calling. He pulls away from you, biting into your bottom lip and tugging it with him until he lets go.

"Answer it," he demands. You try to pull him back into you, but he shrugs you off. "Answer it or I will," he threatens.

You want to test him, but the way he's looking at you makes you want to give him everything he's ever wished for. You decide to be his good girl tonight. You slip your phone from your back pocket and answer it.

"You good? It's getting late; we need to leave soon," Jungwoo voices through the phone speaker.

You hesitate with your response, trying to find your voice.

"Hellooo… Don't make me come find you." Jungwoo says you can hear him readjust his phone against his ear as he whispers sorry to someone, probably pushing through bodies looking around for you.

"Im good, Woo; go ahead and head home without me; I'm going to catch a ride with Hyuck.'' As you speak to Jungwoo on the other line, Haechan is peppering kisses up and down your neck, and you can't help but let out a few quiet, breathless moans.

"oh-OHH!" Jungwoo exclaims. "You're nasty; have fun and stay safe, bye!" Jungwoo hands up the phone upon realization of what's going on.

You drop your phone on the counter and continue where you left off. See, I can be good for you," you say.

"Only when you want something," he punctuates as he uses his teeth to snip at your neck.

Haechan knows you guys only have so much time before security comes around and makes sure they have vacated the room. They only have it for the duration of the time they booked the gig. He pulls you off the vanity and turns you around to face it. He flips up your skirt and pulls the neckline of your shirt down past your boobs, keeping you partially covered in case you have to cover up quickly. You met the eyes of your reflection, and you were able to see for the first time how fucked out you already looked. He hasn't even properly touched you, and you're already dripping down your thighs.

"Look at how pretty you are, angel. I want you to look at yourself as you take my cock. Don't you dare look away." Haechan lays a sweet kiss on the top of your head, and you know that's his promise to you that he's going to absolutely ruin you.

He makes quick work of his studded belt and pushes his jeans down past his waist. He pulls your panties to the side and quickly works in a finger. He stretches you until you seem ready enough to take him, so he frees himself completely and spits down onto his tip. He mixes his saliva with your juices as he strokes his tip through your wet folds. He doesn't hold back any longer and thrusts into you. You keep your promise and don't take your eyes off of your reflection. You can see the way your mouth drops at the way he fucks you deep, and you watch as your brows furrow up when he hits a particular spot inside you.

"Right there! Please don't stop!" You cry.

Haechan leans over your back and rests his chin on your shoulder, looking at you through the mirror. His movements slow as he uses precision to repeatedly bully the spot inside you that's making you see stars.

"Do you feel that love? No one else knows you like I know you; who else is gonna make you feel like this, huh, baby? Tell me." His eyes don't leave your face, and when you don't respond, he lands a harsh smack against one of your ass cheeks. "You can't fucking hear me? I said answer me!" he yells as he picks up his pace. He wraps his hand around your neck, and you can feel the cool metal of his rings against your skin.

"No one! Only you can make me feel this good. Only you can fuck me like this. Fuck me until I can't remember my name," you rasp.

"That's my good girl," he whispers in your ear.

He tugs you back into him with the hold he has on your neck. Your back meets his chest as he fucks into you at a new angle. You can't hold on any longer, so you let go. You come all over his cock, and when he doesn't slow down for even a second, you feel your second high quickly approaching.

Hyuck, please, I can't take another one; I'll make a mess," you plead. You know this next one is going to be messy. You can feel the pressure building up in your stomach.

That's ok, baby; I want to drown in you; let go for me." And for the second time that night, you come again, but this time you're squirting, and it's dripping all onto the ground below you. "You're so fucking nasty," he says to you as he pushes you to your knees on the wet ground. A hand goes to your hair, and you can feel the sting as Haechan tugs your head back so that you can meet his eyes.

"Open your mouth, slut."

You do as you're told and stick your tongue out for him. He moans at the visual and slowly lets a trail of spit fall from his mouth into your awaiting one. When you swallow his spit, he can't help but be proud: "That's my good girl."

He guides his length into your mouth, and you choke on him before you know it. Mascara running down your face, spit covering your lips This is what Haechan wanted you to see: you made him a mess on the inside, but he was always going to ruin you on the outside. It's a shame you couldn't see it. He fucks your face, and you take it like a champ. You look up at him, and all you can see is infatuation. That's when you realize it. He was never going to let you go. He was going to keep forcing himself into your life, whether you liked it or not, because he was disgustingly in love with you. Even as you kneel on the floor of a dingy club, covered in your own release, choking on his dick, his eyes are filled with love. His brows furrowed, and he let out a long moan as he released down your throat. He's still feeling a little mean, so he pinches your nose and makes you gag. He holds your head down and fucks deep into your throat a few more times before letting you go.

Did he love you? Yes.

Was he above making you suffer a little bit? No.

You catch your breath as you look up at him. Before a word can be spoken between the two of you,a knock comes at the door. Security announces themselves and tries to open the door but finds it locked. You and Hyuck look at each other in fear as you scramble to dress yourselves properly.

"One second, we were still cleaning up," He calls to the door.

"You guys were supposed to be gone 20 minutes ago." The security guards' annoyed voice can be heard through the door.

"Sorry, dude, we will be right out."

"You guys have 5 minutes!" security yells before walking away.

You fix your hair in the mirror, and Haechan tries his best to clean up the mess on the floor with whatever he can find. "Come on, let's go home," he says as he grabs your hand as he guides you through the back halls of the club on to the main floor and to his car.

In a matter of 15 minutes, you're back at your shared apartment complex. You're making your way up the stairs when Haechan offers to properly clean you up. You had left some of your skin care products over at his place a while ago anyway, so you agree. He runs a bath for the two of you, and afterwards, while you remove your makeup, you also help him remove his eyeliner. He's sitting on the counter when you gently wipe his eye makeup away. The silence between you is no longer awkward but a comforting one. You decide to break the silence first.

"I thought about what you said before, and you're right; I was making excuses. I was afraid you would break my heart, so I decided to hurt you first." You switch to taking off the makeup on his other eye. "I'm sorry for that, but I realize now that you would never hurt me; no matter how hard I push you away, you will never leave me alone."

"You make me sound like a nuisance," he said, glaring playfully at you.

"Because you are," you peck him softly on the lips, "but I've decided I don't want to live hurting the people I love anymore. I want to try again with you. Will you accept me?"

Haechan has been waiting forever to hear those words again. "You love me?"

Yes, I love you, idiot. Is that all you heard?" you joke.

"I love you too," he responds with a kiss. "Do you promise not to run from me again?" He looks at you, and you can see the vulnerability in his eyes.

"I promise, I'll never leave your side again".

You finish removing his makeup, and you two set off to bed. This time, when you go to sleep in his arms, you don't dread the morning after; you know this is not a mistake. When the morning comes, you're going to be a new person and not the one that gives up on Haechan again and again; this time, you will love to the fullest.

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