#parent mediated interventions

[dimensionalbehaviour]

Developmental behavior therapy

Bradford, Ontario's autism behaviour consulting and caregiver-mediated early years program deliver targeted support for early childhood growth and learning.

[fortheloveofwonderland]

Darkness Declares Glory | Chapter 18 | S.R

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Chapter Summary - Spencer finds himself in trouble with his doctor and makes a very drastic decision about his rehabilitation.

Pairing - Spencer Reid / Fem! Reader

Category - dark angst | smut | eventual happy ending.

Warnings - Spencer gets in trouble, swearing, angry Spencer, talk of past drug use and past promiscuous behaviour, heavy angst, buying drugs.

WC - 4.4k

Chapter 18 - Fell On Black Days

It had been a while since Spencer had any dealings with Doctor Sanderson. He’d come to learn that he tended to stay out of things unless intervention was needed. Spencer had gotten used to that in the form of his self-harm bouts and subsequent trips to the hospital ward but this was a different kind of mediation. 

The fact that it wasn’t just Sanderson who was present at this particular meeting, but Maggie too, filled Spencer with an impending feeling of dread as the two watched him without saying a word. 

After yesterday and his time spent in the rose garden with you, he’d been on a high he thought it impossible to come down from. It had invigorated him, given him the push towards sobriety he’d so sorely needed after his final run in with Cat and his realisation about his false memories. 

Your past together was a work of fiction, but your presence in his life now was real, tangible and he was going to hold onto that with every fibre of his being. You were going to get him through this, you would stay sober together. He was still running on that high this morning when he woke up.

The two of you had breakfast together, shooting little smirks at each other over your bacon and eggs. Spencer felt giddy when he looked at you, a swell of pure joy that he hadn’t felt in a really long time. He thought things were finally looking up. 

And then he got called into Sanderson’s office and was greeted by the doctor and his therapist and his good mood had plummeted in the blink of an eye. 

“We understand that you’ve been through a lot.” Maggie was the one to finally break the silence and her tone was laced with the ideation that Spencer was not going to like where this was going. 

“I mean, I wouldn’t be here if that weren’t true.” He snaked his hand up his sweater sleeve and ran his fingertips over the bracelet on his wrist. 

He bypassed it quickly and located the rubber band Maggie had given him his first week here, which he’d forgotten all about until now. He snapped the band against his wrist a few times while he waited for someone to speak. 

“We have rules here, Spencer.” Sanderson leant forward on his desk, a mildly frustrated expression on his face. “We have rules for the benefit of our patients and their sobriety.” 

Spencer narrowed his eyes on the doctor, a small frown creasing his brow. He probably should have known what the older man was talking about but he honestly had no idea. 

“And I haven’t broken any of them.” Spencer snapped the band again. “I shower everyday, I eat all of my meals. I go to all of my therapy sessions and I’m really trying to open up. I do everything I was told to do. I haven’t hurt myself, haven’t relapsed. What more do you want from me?” 

Sanderson and Maggie exchanged a look and it felt very much like the time his parents sat him down when he was ten years old and told him they were splitting up. When they looked back at him, Maggie had that same sympathetic expression his mother had when she’d delivered the blow that William was moving out of the family home. 

“We’re really proud of your progress, Spencer.” She spoke in a mollycoddling way. “But certain activities have come to light that concern us.” 

Spencer closed his eyes, snapping the band particularly roughly against the delicate flesh of his wrist as he realised what was happening. A wave of mortification crashed into him, knocking the air from his lungs when it dawned on him what activities Maggie was referring to. And before he could open his eyes again, Sanderson was confirming that.

“Sexual intercourse and other forms of fornication are prohibited between patients.” Sanderson spoke in such a clinical way that it made Spencer’s stomach turn. 

He opened his eyes as his cheeks started to turn a deep shade of crimson. Sanderson’s expression was all business, no nonsense. Maggie looked like her usual genial self. 

“We find it hinders rehabilitation. We need you to focus on why you’re here, Spencer. We feel that fraternisation of this variety can distract patients from their goals.” Maggie nodded stiffly. 

Spencer felt his defences going up, a small crater of anger bubbling in his chest. He’d played by their rules, he’d tried so hard to keep his head down, to stay focused on his sobriety. He’d accepted his fate of being stuck here, he’d powered through without caffeine and only being able to see his friends twice a week. He’d done the therapy, taken the medication and he was trying his best. But this was just absurd.

The anger grew rapidly, firing through his veins like an electric current. He knew who was to blame and all that rage inside of him was directed at that one person who he wished had been brave enough to show his face here now. 

“Let me guess, George has spoken to you?” He snapped the rubber a couple more times. 

“It’s his job to report infractions.” Sanderson shrugged before looking down at a sheet of notepaper on the desk. “Nurse Myers reported witnessing you and Miss Y/L/N, quote “fooling around” in your room and then again he witnessed a public display of copulation in the rose garden.” 

Spencer’s cheeks turned impossibly redder with each word and he snapped the band furiously. So George had seen them yesterday in the garden, was he following Spencer? No one went around that part of the building, so the only way George could have known you and Spencer were there was if he followed him. 

“Spencer, would you like to tell us your side of the story?” Maggie asked softly. 

“There really isn’t anything to add that hasn’t already been said. I don’t however agree that what has gone on between myself and Y/N is in any way inhibiting our rehabilitation.” Spencer spat. 

“I respectfully disagree. And in any case it doesn’t matter as I stated previously, it’s against the rules of the facility.” Sanderson sounded a little smug but that could very well have been in Spencer’s imagination. 

“Even if it helps take my mind off my cravings? Even if it’s the only thing stopping me from relapsing?” Spencer ground his teeth. 

“You’re simply replacing one addiction with another.” Sanderson countered. “You’re using intimacy as a substitution and inevitably when that ends you will want another replacement which could very well be drugs.” 

“Spencer,” Maggie spoke again. “We’ve spoken at length about how you slept around when you were using. For you I think sex and drugs go hand in hand and I worry that even though you think it’s helping, it isn’t. Not in the long run.” 

“And again, I reiterate, it’s against the rules. So I propose that you and Miss Y/L/N stay apart from one another.” Doctor Sanderson leant back in the chair as if to convey the conversation was over.

“You can’t keep us apart.” Spencer scoffed, snapping the bad once more. His wrist was starting to get sore but it was a welcome feeling. 

“I’m afraid I can and I will, Doctor Reid.” 

Spencer looked between Sanderson and Maggie several times in quick succession while he tugged at the rubber band in his sleeve until it snapped in half, which only added to his anger. 

“This is bullshit.” Spencer snapped much like the band. “I’ve found something that is actually helping me and you want to take it away?” 

“It’s for your own good. Both of you. We only want what’s best for you and Y/N, Spencer.” Maggie shrugged a little sadly. 

“And once again, it is a r-“

“Yes, thank you, I got it.” Spencer shoved the chair back and jumped to his feet even if it hurt his leg to do so. “If we’re done here I will be in my room.”

“You will be going to your group therapy session.” Sanderson stood too. 

“Nope.” Spencer folded his arms, sulking like a petulant child. “I will be in my room, packing my things and I will be gone by lunchtime.” 

“May I remind you, you are here under preventative confinement.” Sanderson sighed as he spoke. 

“And you think I don’t know how that works?” Spencer scoffed. “Under a preventative confinement order a patient has the right to be released without delay if a psychiatric examination report confirming the necessity of continuing the confinement has not been produced within twenty one days after the court decision and every three months thereafter. Have you provided the courts with a psychiatric examination report, Doctor Sanderson?” 

Spencer didn’t need Sanderson to answer that, his facial expression said it all. He could only imagine that due to him switching doctors and the constant trouble he got himself in during his first few days had caused the examination report to get lost by the wayside. Sanderson exhaled heavily, his jaw clenching tightly as he glanced at Maggie who was still sitting. She gave him a small shrug.

“Fine.” Sanderson spat, turning back to Spencer. “If you want to leave, be my guest. We have tried to help you Doctor Reid but if you don’t want our help then stop wasting our time and vacate the premises.”

Spencer snarled at him like a wild animal before turning on his heels and marching as fast as his leg would carry him towards the door. He flung it open, not looking back before he slammed it loudly closed behind him. The smoke was practically billowing from his ears as he made his way down the corridor to his room for the final time. 

***

Little under an hour later, Spencer had successfully packed his belongings into his duffle bag. It wasn’t such a hard feat due to his lack of things, just clothes, his chess set, a few books and the photos on his wall. It had only taken as long as it had because half way through Maggie had shown up to try and talk him out of going. He’d been particularly hostile, and when she’d finally stopped trying to change his mind and spoke about his exit interview he told her, in no uncertain terms, to go fuck herself. 

With his bag slung over his arm, he limped slightly down towards the rose garden in which he prayed he would find you. It was the one thing he needed to do before he left, he couldn’t go without explaining to you what had happened. 

Thankfully he found you sitting in the grass with your head in a book as he’d hoped and he felt his heart swell watching the way you read. He was going to miss you so much, but it wouldn’t be long before you would get out of here too and the two of you could be together out in the real world. He just had to keep his head above water while he waited for you. He was sure he could, he would do it for you.

You must have heard him approach as you glanced up from your book and smiled at him sweetly. But when you noticed the duffle bag on his arm, your expression shifted to a slight confusion. 

“Taking a trip?” You closed your book and set it down on the grass before pushing yourself to your feet. 

“Something like that.” When Spencer reached you he put his bag down and immediately cupped your face in his hands. 

Before he could explain, he crashed your lips together, tongue quickly worming its way into your mouth. He quite literally kissed the air from your lungs while you wrapped your arms around his neck to help keep yourself upright. You were smiling once more when he pulled away but he wasn’t.

“I’m leaving the institution.” He blurted out, dropping his hands to his sides. 

“I’m sorry, what?” You let go of his neck and stepped back so you could scrutinise him. 

“We were ratted out. I was just pulled into my doctor’s office and told that sex between patients is against the rules. He wants to keep us apart and it was the final straw. I can’t be here, Y/N, I have to leave.” 

“But then we’ll be apart anyway.” You frowned. 

“Not for too long, angel. I can’t stay in a place where they dictate my every move. I tried to play by their rules but this was too much. They can’t tell me who I can and can’t spend time with.”

“But what about your recovery?” 

“I’ll be fine, I’ve got it under control.” 

“Have you?” You glared at him. “Spencer if you leave you might relapse.” 

He ran his fingers through his hair whilst shaking head. 

“No I won’t. I’ll be fine, I swear. This place isn’t helping me. You’re the only thing helping me and they’re trying to keep us apart.” He whined pathetically as he spoke. 

“And if you leave then they win.” You tried to get him to see sense but he was still shaking his head. 

“You should be getting out in a few months, when you do we can start our life together, Y/N. I’ll wait for you, ok?” He went to reach for your face again but you took a step backwards. 

“I don’t think you should do that.” You croaked.

“You don’t want me to wait for you?” Spencer frowned now, watching as you shook your head sadly.

“No.” You sniffed, feeling tears pooling behind your eyes. 

“Why not?” 

You hugged your arms around yourself, looking around the garden just to avoid eye contact with Spencer. You counted the roses blooming on the bushes surrounding the garden in your head, focused on the feel of the dewy ground beneath your bare feet. Anything rather than look at Spencer and his sad doe eyes. 

“Yesterday was…it was amazing, Spence.” You swallowed thickly.

“We can have more days like that. Everyday can be a day like that once you get out.” Once again he reached for you but you backed away once more. 

“Yesterday was amazing.” You repeated, a small tear escaping your eye. “But after you left…it was the most I’ve wanted to use in four months of sobriety.” 

Spencer whimpered somewhat pathetically hearing those words out of your mouth. It hurt him to hear that you were struggling and he would give anything to take it away, to make it better for you. 

“I made you want to get high?” His voice cracked as he spoke. 

“In a way.” You tightened your hold on yourself. “Sex and drugs go hand in hand for me, Spence. I’m not in a place in my recovery where one can go without the other. You came into my life at my lowest, you’re a part of that time and in my mind I think you always will be. I think, if you leave, that has to be the end of the road for us.”

Spencer pouted, tears welling in his own eyes as he looked at you and you swore you could see his heart shattering in his chest. He opened his mouth to speak a few times but it took several long seconds for him to be able to get the words out. 

“You don’t want us to be together?” His voice was so hollow it broke you. 

“My sobriety has to come first Spencer.” You cried. “I want to stay sober. I need to. But I can’t do that and have you in my life.” 

“Then there really is no point in me being here. Because without you, I have nothing to stay sober for.” He bent down and picked up his duffel bag but before he could leave you suddenly grabbed his arm tightly.

“Please don’t say that.” Tears rolled heavily down your cheeks and your lip quivered. “Please, Spencer, don’t put that on me. It isn’t fair.” 

“It might not be fair, but it’s the truth.” He yanked his arm roughly out of your grasp. 

“Please don’t do something stupid.” You called after him as he started walking away. “Please!”

“Whatever I chose to do with my life is no longer your concern.” He spoke over his shoulder but he didn’t turn around. 

You watched as he walked away and noticed something fall to the floor as he went. You hurriedly went after him, leaving your shoes and book behind in search of what he’d dropped. 

Nestled in the grass was a worn bronze chip. 

You quickly snatched up in your hand but when you looked up to follow him and return it, Spencer was already gone. You cradled the chip in your hand, running your fingertip over the engraving. You had to hope it was an accident that he’d dropped his chip and not a deliberate action. Because if it wasn’t an accident, you knew exactly what that meant for Spencer’s sobriety. 

***

Spencer called a cab from the bank of phones before hauling himself out to the parking lot to wait for his ride. It crossed his mind for a fraction of a second to call one of his old team to collect him, but it was fleeting. He didn’t need them to know about his decision to leave until he was far away from this place. 

Once he was home he would tell them but if he called them now they would inevitably try and talk him out of it and he wouldn't let anyone stop him. 

With nothing but his duffel bag and broken heart in tow, he waited at the edge of the lot for his cab to take him away from this wretched place. Honestly he had no idea where he planned to go, but as long as it was away from here he didn’t much care. 

While he waited he noticed a familiar figure heading across the parking lot from the main building towards a beat up old silver Pontiac. He didn’t allow himself to even think through what he might possibly say before he took off after them. 

He caught up to them just as they were unlocking the vehicle and he stopped a few feet shy of them and dropped his bag to the floor. 

“You jealous son of a bitch!” Spencer spat harshly, causing the other man to slowly turn to face him. 

“I was just doing my job.” George simply shrugged.

“Following me to the rose garden was part of your job?” 

“I’ve found patients back there getting high before, with drugs they’d had smuggled in. I saw you heading that way when I was finishing up my shift and I wanted to make sure you weren’t going back there to use.” George folded his arms and squared his shoulders, not letting Spencer try to intimidate him. 

“And you got quite a show.” Spencer grunted. “Did you enjoy it? Did you like watching me fuck her? Did you wish it was you?”

“Oh get a grip.” George rolled his eyes with a heavy sigh. “You’re cute but I told you, I don’t fall for addicts. Not anymore. I see someone breaking the rules, I have to report it, Spencer. I’m sorry but it’s my job. I did warn you.” 

“Go to hell.” Spencer snarled at him, taking a few steps closer. “You just couldn’t let me be happy, could you?”

George backed up until he was against his car but Spencer kept moving closer. George swallowed and prepared himself for whatever might come next. There were security cameras out here so if Spencer got violent he’d be apprehended pretty fast. 

“I just want you to stay clean, that's all I want from all the patients. You aren’t going to keep your head clear while you’re thinking with your dick, trust me.” 

“Yeah well, the irony is I’m not gonna stay clean much longer. And that’s on you.” Spencer came up close and raised his arms as though he might shove George or even punch him.

George braced himself against the car for the impact but before Spencer could make another move the sound of tyres on gravel distracted him. 

Spencer spun around to see a cab pulling into the lot just in the nick of time before he’d had a chance to do something stupid. He glanced at George once more with a scoff and shake of his head before he took a few steps backwards. 

“When I OD again,” he kept eye contact with George as he shuffled back towards his bag. “When, not if. When they find me dead because I overdosed, I hope you take that to your grave.” 

“That’s your biggest problem.” George shook his head as Spencer was collecting up his bag. “You blame everyone else for your shortcomings when there is no one to hold liable but you. You may have gone through some shit Spencer but unfortunately that’s a side effect of life. You choose how you deal with that. You made the decision to use drugs to combat it. No one made you do that. At some point you have to stop pointing the finger at other people and hold yourself accountable for your own actions.” 

Spencer’s jaw clenched tightly as did his hand that was holding the duffel bag straps. He looked like he might say something, maybe even come back and take a swing at George after all. But the cabbie rolled down his window and his gruff voice reached both of their ears. 

“Doctor Reid?” 

Spencer shook his head at George before tearing his eyes off of him and turning on his heels towards the car. 

“That’s me.” He nodded, shuffling towards the vehicle and flinging open the door. 

George watched him heave his bag in the backseat before slipping inside and closing the door. The cab turned around and headed back towards the driveway, all the while Spencer glared at him through the window. 

George took a few breaths, remaining completely still until the cab was out of sight and even then he didn’t move for some time. He prayed Spencer was strong enough not to fall straight back off of the wagon. But he’d known hundreds of guys like him and he was sure it would only be a matter of time before Spencer Reid’s vice was the death of him. 

***

He didn’t want to go home, he knew that much. But he at least needed to unburden himself of his duffel bag before he decided where exactly he did want to go. Although Spencer did have a pretty good idea of where he would end up. 

When the cabbie finally pulled up outside of his apartment he asked him to wait while he ran inside. Upon entering his apartment he wasn’t surprised to find it was no longer in the complete state he’d left it. He could clearly imagine Emily, JJ and Penelope busily putting back together the broken pieces of his apartment, cleaning and mending so he didn’t come home to the wreckage he’d left behind. 

It was almost as though it had been this way all along, aside from maybe the couch which had been beyond repair. But even still the bullet holes were now covered by dark green crocheted throw he knew to have been crafted by Garcia. 

He left his bag by the door, trying not to dwell too much on how strange it felt being back here, how odd it was to see his home through sober eyes. He quickly went through to the bedroom and found his box of cash under his bed and pocketed several notes. 

Before he left again, he located the yellow legal pad he kept on his desk and a pen. Sliding into the chair he poised the pen above the page, rolling his bottom lip between his teeth as he began to write.

I’m sorry I failed you, I've failed all of you. I really wanted to get clean, for a time I did anyway. For a small window I really wanted to sort my life out. But as Gideon once told me, some people are beyond saving. And I fear I became one of them. 

If you’re reading this letter, you’re probably being handed it by a hospital worker and I am probably already dead. I’m sorry I put this on you, I’m sorry you had to be the one. But truthfully even though we’ve not known each other all that long, you’re the one person I wanted to be with at the end. 

I’m sorry for that, I’m sorry that you’ll have to live with that. But if it helps at all, I’m sure having you there as I take my final breaths will comfort me even if it doesn’t do the same to you. 

I’m sorry I wasn’t strong enough for this world. 

***

It was getting dark by the time Spencer exited the cab again, paying the driver his dues and watching him pull away. He found Gus where he always was, his eyes widening in surprise as he noticed Spencer nearing.

“Whoa, it’s been a while.” Gus offered him a slightly sad smile. “You try and get clean or something?”

“Try being the operative word.” Spencer sighed. “Give me three.” 

Gus nodded and slid his hand inside his jacket to retrieve the three vials of dilaudid which he handed over to Spencer. Spencer in turn paid him before pocketing his stash. 

“Can I ask you something?” Spencer gnawed on his bottom lip.

“Shoot.” Gus shrugged. 

“I’m missing quite a lot of time, trying to piece some stuff together.” 

“Speedballing will do that.” His lip twitched into a smirk.

“Yeah, right.” Spencer nodded. “How long have I been buying coke from you?” 

“I don’t know man, I don’t exactly keep books and receipts.” Gus shook his head with a soft sigh. “It’s been a while though. Year, year and a half?” 

Spencer exhaled loudly through his nose as Gus’ words confirmed his suspicions that his last coherent thought had been a long time before he’d woken up in PIW. 

“Thanks.” Spencer sighed. 

“See you soon.” Gus waved him off and Spencer nodded in agreement.

But if his night went to plan, he’d never see Gus or anyone else ever again. 

@tiredmilky @thatsonezesty13 @1mechanicalalligator @elle-28 @academiareid

[hyperfixation-fix]

Alright guys I really need your help figuring out my godly parent. I get different answers every time I do a quiz 🥲 here's some deets about me:

I work in health promotion - basically it's early intervention stuff, including health education, raising awareness, advocacy/political activism, and working with affected communities. It's also a lot of mediation between different professions and groups - helping doctors understand why patients can't "just lose weight", helping patients understand why they do need to make healthier choices, and helping politicians... actually there usually isn't any helping politicians, but we try. Currently, I'm in youth mental health

In my free time, I do a lot of arts & crafts. But like - I never stick to one. I've done knitting, sewing, embroidery, metal stamping, jewellery making, digital art, woodwork, music, paper making, book binding, and on and on and on

Honestly that generally goes for all my skills. I've done a lot of things and I *can* do a lot of things, but I don't really do any of them super well

I'm an out-of-the-box thinker, creative and yes, chaotic, and there are lots of pros and cons to that

My happy place is by the beach, but I cannot remember the last time I actually went for a swim. Fuck that, the ocean is scary. I'll stay up here on the grass reading my book under a tree tyvm

I describe myself as a happy person with depression. I'm very sunny and optimistic, but I find life and living and liking myself rough at the best of times. I spend half my life picking myself up, dusting myself off, wiping away my tears and trying again - but I do it, over and over, bc I genuinely do believe it's worth it in the long run. I'm also just ✨emotional✨

I love children, they make me so happy, but I'm not sure if I'll ever be stable enough to have my own

I love animals. Except fish. Fuck fish.

I'm a hugger, but I feel weird asking for hugs

I've been told, even at 23, that I seem older than I am, that I'm "mature for my age" (fuckin hate that saying)

I love being around people, and finding and creating community is super important to me, but being social drains me and I struggle to find a good balance

I put 110% into everything I do. It's a truly awful habit 🙃

I love maths and logic puzzles. I love the structure of it, the planning and strategy, the satisfaction of a black-and-white answer. And yet, I dropped out of my maths degree because I couldn't see myself working in anything but pure maths, which is not really a career. My current job is kind of the exact opposite - yes, it's very research-oriented, but you deal with nuance and unknowns and humans every day, and the reality is that there is never a clear answer. And I love it. No idea what that says about me 😅

Ok now that I've written that out, I'm actually leaning towards Apollo. What do you guys think?

[nerves-nebula]

After the turgles all get out do any of them go low contact with Leo, at least at first? Leo reminds me a bit of my brother who I had to not talk to for a full year to finally get his head out of his ass lol

ALSO if they all live together after they get out how exactly do they all handle no longer depending on raph to do things? Like.. do the other turtles know how to do laundry? Or use a dishwasher? Does raph try to continue in his role of caretaker after they get out, even if the others tell him he doesn’t have to?

oooughhhgg, its rough, man.

they all kind of have really co-dependent relationships if im honest. it'd do them good to be away from each other for a while, but they're kinda scared to be separated. they've been fighting as a team for years now, and have lived together their entire lives before that. they mostly only feel safe when they're around each other. the only times they've been separated for long stretches have been when one of them is injured or hurt or something. PTSD type shit.

they all also have different ways of approaching conflict. Donnie wants to just ignore it and let it "heal" but that doesn't actually help him. he NEEDS to confront it to feel better. but he REALLY doesn't want to.

Raph is just so tired. he doesn't mind discussing his feelings but he almost doesnt know what to say. he always just feels tired and empty, he doesn't know where to start processing things.

Mikey is ecstatic to finally be free and spends the most time away from the apartment, I think. which is cool for him, but also makes things weird at home with Donnie, Raph, and Leo all being both volatile and allergic to sincere emotions. Not that it's mikeys JOB to mediate them but, like. it'd help if he was there before they start yelling :')

The others generally know how to take care of themselves, yeah. like, they CAN cook and do dishes and stuff if they have to (raph was also a kid so it's not like he could ever fully replace a parent. they all had to become self sufficient in some way or another) but they usually just.. don't. or they didn't usually, at first.

sso yeah, at first the labour does land a bit heavily on Raphs shoulders, which Raph doesn't complain about being who he is. It takes Casey's intervention (forcing Raph to relax/refusing to let Raph do all the chores haha) to get them to realize they should probably not perpetuate the dynamic of Raph cleaning up after them and cooking all their food now that they're away from splinter.

it's awkward tho cause so much of the abusive dynamics between them are just assumed, since that's how it's always been.

[foggyfanfic]

And finally, 12 year old Octavia!

Bruno's youngest. Octavia is just chilling my dude, she's vibing, she's having a grand old time. It does make her a little sad, knowing that her birth family either abandoned her, or lost her and thinks she's dead, but look! She has super powers!

People usually assume she's a bit of a tomboy because of the clothes she wears, but she actually has a lot of really pretty, frilly dresses she doesn't want to get dirty. She steals her Papa's or older brother's clothes to practice using her gift in. The one dark spot in her otherwise perfect life is that her gift is Useful, and she knows from watching Luisa that having a useful gift is not necessarily a good thing. Octavia spends a lot of time worrying about what her life will be like when she feels ready to start helping the village with her gift.

Spends the most time with her Mama, since Leandra is better at lying than Bruno, but is also the only person in the family who really lets Bruno spoil them so they spend plenty of quality time together in the market. She also has a similarly dry sense of humor as Bruno, although most people don't notice since she plays her jokes straight and delivers them in the same cheerful tone she says everything else. When people don't realize she's kidding she delights in doubling down, she once convinced her entire class she doesn't know what a donkey is while standing in front of a donkey by insisting it was the weirdest horse she's ever seen. Her teacher sent her home with a note and Bruno was too busy laughing to say anything about it. Leandra tried to be the responsible parent and tell her it wasn't nice to trick her classmates like that, but then gave up and helped her with ways to keep the bit going.

Sometimes feels like the odd sibling out, since Gabriel and Amada are technically related, but then again, Gabriel is the only boy so she figures it balances out. Especially since Gabriel was so happy to have another sister to coddle, and didn't hesitate to submit her to the full gambit of overprotective big brother-isms. Her and Amada bond over acting annoyed with Gabriel, although Octavia privately delights in the ease with which he accepts her as a sister. At the story's beginning, she is actually closer to her two siblings than they are to each other, since Amada only sees Gabe as her smotheringly protective big brother, while Gabe carries a lot of guilt for the fact that Amada's mother was probably killed by his birth father. If the two talked to each other, Gabe would discover that most of Amada's problems revolve around the fact that she's pretty sure she's better off with her mother having been killed, and Amada would discover how deeply Gabe's fear and pain run. But they don't talk to each other about these things, and won't without intervention. Intervention that's certainly not about to come from Octavia because...

As far as the family dynamic goes, her parents are accidentally teaching her to do what they do, treat the symptoms of the problem and dance around the actual source. If the cycle would have been allowed to continue, Gabe would have been the one accidentally placing his fears on the shoulders of the rest of the family, Amada would have ended up arguing with him about it and accidentally alienating him (taking Bruno's role in a less passive way), and Octavia would have ended up playing mediator. She would have kept them from completely falling apart, but would never risk asking them to talk about the source of their issues.

Her gift is inherently optimistic, since she can mold the earth itself into new homes. While it is technically elemental in nature, she personally sees it as a way to create, to grow the community around her. It is a gift that looks towards the future and sees a loving village.

[maximura]

I watch so much kpop and documentaries about South Korea that I get a lot of recommendations on youtube. Just now, I saw this video which features at least 50,000 teachers rallying and protesting against the strict SK Law where a teacher is automatically suspended if they are accused of child abuse.

TW: Suicide

This comes about 2 months after a 23 yo teacher was found dead (by suicide) at their school following an alleged situation of being bullied by a parent. Teachers are now so afraid of the Child Abuse Law (mentioned above) that they feel they cannot effectively intervene and mediate when one student bullies/abuses another, for fear of retribution and losing their job. So bullying amongst students may just proceed without teacher intervention. This was eye opening to know and very important context next time we hear a story about an idol being accused of bullying.

To add to that, I learnt today that parents are allowed to repeatedly ring the teachers directly (even at night and on weekends?!) to complain and scold them. The education environment is highly volatile already but add competition and parental pressure to the mix and I'm quite frankly surprised the whole SK education system hasn't imploded yet.

Previously a family may have several children but as more parents are only having one child, they only have one shot "at success".

Sucks to be that one child bearing all the pressure.

No wonder mental health is so poor amongst young people. South Korean has consistently had the highest suicide rate in developed nations (I hate that word). Suicide is the leading cause of death in SK for those aged 10 to 39yo. That is a very very deeply concerning and sad statistic. I had to read that twice to process it. This is a very young demographic and the fact that nothing much has changed since I looked into this issue 3 years ago is troubling.

South Korea is a superficially pretty visage hiding a diseased underbelly. It is a society held together by some very pretty band-aids. I don't believe it will function that efficiently in a few decades unless there are meaningful reforms and changes. Not least because they are losing their young people at an alarming rate but also because the birth rate is so low. It's all the bad things, all the time.

You know that movie, No Country For Old Men? Well, South Korea is No Country For Young People.

My thoughts are with anyone who receives any threats and bullying/harassment at work. I hope a change will come soon and we can all go to work without being worried for our personal safety and life. This is so unacceptable. It's 2023 for goodness sake.

[wedesignyouny]

BG Divorce Lawyers: Advantages of a Queens, New York, Uncontested Divorce Attorney

SMOOTH SAILING: THE BENEFITS OF AN UNCONTESTED DIVORCE LAWYER IN QUEENS, NY

Introduction:

Facing the difficult decision of divorce is never easy, but it doesn’t have to be overly complicated and contentious. In Queens, NY, an uncontested divorce lawyer can be your guiding light during this challenging time. An uncontested divorce offers a more amicable and efficient process, allowing both parties to reach agreements on crucial issues without the need for lengthy court battles. In this blog post, we will explore the advantages of hiring an uncontested divorce lawyer at BG Divorce Lawyers to navigate you through this emotional journey and achieve a swift and peaceful resolution.

Understanding Uncontested Divorce:

Before diving into the benefits, let’s first clarify what an uncontested divorce entails. In an uncontested divorce, both spouses work together to resolve issues such as child custody, division of assets, spousal support, and more, without the intervention of a judge. This collaborative approach fosters open communication, reduces conflicts, and lays the groundwork for an amicable separation. An experienced uncontested divorce lawyer plays a crucial role in mediating discussions and ensuring that your rights and interests are protected throughout the process.

Streamlined Process:

One of the primary advantages of choosing an uncontested divorce is the streamlined legal process. Traditional divorces can be time-consuming, costly, and emotionally draining, as they involve numerous court appearances and legal battles. However, with an uncontested divorce lawyer by your side, you can avoid lengthy court procedures and resolve your divorce swiftly and efficiently. This approach not only saves time but also minimizes stress, allowing you to focus on healing and moving forward with your life.

Cost-Effectiveness:

Divorce proceedings can be financially burdensome, particularly in a contested divorce where legal fees can quickly escalate. In contrast, an uncontested divorce typically involves lower legal expenses because both parties are working towards a mutual agreement. By hiring an uncontested divorce lawyer from BG Divorce Lawyers, you can receive professional guidance without breaking the bank, ensuring that your resources are better utilized to secure your post-divorce future.

Customized Solutions:

No two divorces are the same, and each couple faces unique challenges during the process. An uncontested divorce lawyer understands this and tailors solutions to suit your specific needs. Whether it’s crafting a comprehensive parenting plan or negotiating property division, the lawyer will work closely with you to create a customized agreement that aligns with your goals and priorities. This personalized approach empowers you to make informed decisions about your future and the well-being of your children.

Preserving Relationships:

Divorce can strain even the most amicable relationships, but an uncontested divorce fosters a more cooperative environment, helping preserve essential relationships, especially when children are involved. By choosing a collaborative approach, you can lay the groundwork for effective co-parenting and maintain a healthier post-divorce relationship with your former spouse. An uncontested divorce lawyer acts as a mediator, promoting understanding and communication between both parties.

Conclusion:

Navigating the complexities of divorce is undeniably challenging, but with the assistance of an uncontested divorce lawyer from BG Divorce Lawyers in Queens, NY, the process can become significantly more manageable. Through open communication, cost-effective resolutions, and tailored solutions, an uncontested divorce empowers you to embrace a new chapter in your life with less emotional turmoil. Remember, you don’t have to go through this journey alone – a compassionate uncontested divorce lawyer is here to guide you towards a peaceful resolution and a brighter future.

CONTACT INFO

Beckerman & Granados PLLC

118-35 Queens Blvd. Suite 1240 Forest Hills, N.Y. 11375

 info@bgmatlaw.com

(718) 374-5642

(718) 732-2099

[florasearlethirdyear]

D&AD: Loneliness Epidemic and Generation Z

Explore the statistics and studies related to loneliness among Gen Z. Look into the causes, effects, and potential solutions identified in various research papers, articles, and psychological studies.

Source 1: Lyngdoh, T., El-Manstrly, D., & Jeesha, K. (2023). Social isolation and social anxiety as drivers of generation Z's willingness to share personal information on social media. Psychology & Marketing, Vo.40,No.1. 5–26. https://doi.org/10.1002/mar.21744

"Our findings show that when gen z feels socially isolated/anxious, they are more likely to share personal information on social media. The effect of social isolation on sharing of personal information increases when gen z fear that they are missing out on the rewarding experiences others are having, are engaged in repetitive negative thoughts and perceive their firm's privacy policy as transparent and ethical".

"Furthermore, recent research among gen z reveals that almost 56% of this generation experienced more intense social isolation overall due to the Covid‐19 pandemic and are more likely to say they were lonely as compared to previous generations (Cox,2022)".

Source 2: Ang CS, Chan NN, Lee CS. (2018). Shyness, Loneliness Avoidance, and Internet Addiction: What are the Relationships? J Psychol. Vo.152. No.1. pp.25-35. doi: 10.1080/00223980.2017.1399854. Epub 2017 Dec 13. PMID: 29236584.

"Shyness was significantly and positively correlated with loneliness avoidance and Internet addiction. In addition, loneliness avoidance was significantly and positively correlated with Internet addiction. Most importantly, loneliness avoidance may predispose shy youth to become addicted to the Internet'.

Source 3: Gentina, E., Chen, R. (2019). Digital Native's Coping With Loneliness: Facebook or Face-to-Face?. Information and Management. Vol. 56. No.6. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.im.2018.12.006.

"almost 80% of digital natives constantly feel lonely"

"loneliness interventions for digital natives should recognize the role of gender. For example, lonely boys engage in passive coping, but girls do not, partly because of their social role expectations".

"l results confirm that the mediation effect (loneliness to
active coping
to offline self disclosure) is significant among girls, but not among boys, and the mediation effect (loneliness to passive coping to online self-disclosure) is significant among boys, but not among girls".

"Our study suggests that managers of digital natives should also promote face-toface relationships, especially among lonely employees".

"60% of these digital natives identify face-to-face meetings as their preferred form of communication".

Study conducted in France which is considered an individualistic culture, like the USA. pp.24

Source 4: Cox, D. (2022). The Childhood Loneliness of Generation Z. [online]. Available from: https://www.americansurveycenter.org/the-lonely-childhood-of-generation-z/ [Accessed 10/01/2024]

"A majority (56 percent) of Gen Zers report they felt lonely at least once or twice a month during their childhood. In contrast, only about one in four (24 percent) Baby Boomers say they felt lonely this often as children".

"New findings from the American National Family Life Survey show that Americans raised in single-parent homes are more likely to report having felt lonely growing up than those raised in two-parent households".

" Past research has shown that adolescents with divorced parents are more likely to struggle socially and experience greater feelings of social alienation"

"A recent report shows that only children are also more likely to have been lonely growing up than those with siblings were".

"Research has shown that attending college is associated with higher levels of social connectedness. So is belonging to a religious community. Even regularly spending time at a third place—such as a coffee shop, library, or public park—can help foster social interactions and a sense of belonging".

Source 5 (from brief): Bakhtiari, K. (2023). Gen-Z, The Loneliness Epidemic And The Unifying Power Of Brands. [online]. Available from: https://www.forbes.com/sites/kianbakhtiari/2023/07/28/gen-z-the-loneliness-epidemic-and-the-unifying-power-of-brands/?sh=7e8836c46790 [Accessed 10/01/2024]

"73% of Gen-Z report feeling alone sometimes or always. Loneliness can be as damaging to health as smoking 15 cigarettes per day. And people who experience social isolation have a 32% higher risk of early death."

"traditional institutions that promote a sense of belonging are in decline. Church attendance has dropped in the West, and most young people can’t afford to buy a house or raise a family"

"Gen-Z are becoming adults during an era of societal collapse. Endless choice has transformed into a psychological burden".

Japan and the epidemic of hikikomori's, spawning rent-a-family, friend and partner services

"in South Korea, the government is paying young recluses to leave their home".

"The pursuit of convenience is removing social interactions and producing loneliness".

"The disappearance of third places—a social space separate from work and home—has exacerbated the problem".

"many young people now feel priced out of physical experiences".

"There’s a missed opportunity to create culturally relevant moments and platforms to help young people struggling with loneliness".

Source 6: Future Care Capital. (2022). Gen Z are the loneliest generation, research finds. [online]. Available from: https://futurecarecapital.org.uk/latest/gen-z-are-the-loneliest-generation-research-finds/ [Accessed 10/01/2024]

"The data also showed that people living in cities were more likely to feel lonely, with 17% of city-dwellers saying they experienced chronic loneliness. Analysis of 2021 census data shows that the highest proportion of young people live in cities".

"2019 study by YouGov, which found that young people in Britain find it hard to make friends".

Source 7: Yulia Korzhina, Jessica Hemberg, Pia Nyman-Kurkiala & Lisbeth Fagerström. (2022) Causes of involuntary loneliness among adolescents and young adults: an integrative review. International Journal of Adolescence and Youth. Vol.27. No.1. pp. 493-514.

"We saw that earlier negative experiences, mental illness or physical disorders, self-centred society, social norms and social media were all linked to adolescents’ and young adults’ loneliness in the setting investigated".

Source 8: Sheidlower, N. Hoof, M. (2023). [online] Gen Z loneliness is so bad that some young adults are spending thousands trying to make friends through gym memberships and social clubs. Available from: https://www.businessinsider.com/gen-z-loneliness-spends-money-to-make-friends-2023-9?r=US&IR=T [Accessed 10/01/2024]

"Money can't buy Gen Zers happiness, but they do hope it can buy them friends".

Discusses avenues to which Gen Z have taken to make friends including: joining art classes, book clubs, walking groups, Bumble BFF, gyms, art classes.

Source 9: https://www.hhs.gov/sites/default/files/surgeon-general-social-connection-advisory.pdf

Source 10: Mikhail, A. (2023). Gen Z is the worst at connecting with their grandparents, but building a better relationship could help fight loneliness. [online]. Available at: https://fortune.com/well/2023/10/07/gen-z-connecting-grandparents-loneliness/ [Accessed 10/01/2024]

"only 18% of Gen Z saying they have a strong relationship with grandparents compared to 32% of millennials and 41% of Gen X"

"As loneliness plagues seniors and young adults alike, fostering familial relationships between generations could help protect against the negative effects of isolation, including depression, heart disease, and dementia". 

Got me thinking about the show 'Old People's Home for 4 Year Olds' :

"During the 2017 experiment, we saw Linda, 80, admit that she feels “very down” before joining the show, but her friendship with little Amiya soon lifted her spirits and boosts her energy levels".

"60% of nursing home residents never receive visitors and are living in “social isolation”

Initiatives Tackling Loneliness:

The Eden Project's Big Lunch: "the UK’s biggest annual get-together for neighbours, generating new connections, celebrating community, and helping people to make change where they live".

Hershey's The Heartwarming Project: "Our Heartwarming Project (HWP) is designed to help kids and teens build critical social and emotional skills and celebrate the power of connection for their well-being".

Deutsche Telekom's "How are you?" campaign: chatline made to counteract loneliness

City Girls Who Walk: "City Girls Who Walk is a group that brings together women from all walks of life to bond, exercise, and embrace the beauty of their surroundings". Started up to counteract loneliness.

The Lonely Girls Club: UK-based. "The Lonely Girls Club is both an online and physical community created to bring people together to form friendships, have fun and make life a little less lonely".

Soli (Sisterhood on Demand): " Soli connects you with women in your area (anonymously, if you wish) who get what you’re going through"

National Youth Partnership: "The Tackling Youth Loneliness website has been designed to bring together a set of dedicated resources alongside useful research and information to support organisations and professionals to develop their understanding of youth loneliness".

Bumble BFF: "Dating app company Bumble announced today that it is releasing a separate app called “Bumble for Friends” aimed at finding friends in Australia, Canada, Ireland, New Zealand, the Philippines, the U.K. and the U.S".

Age UK Befriending services: "Age UK and our partner charity The Silver Line offer free telephone friendship services so you can enjoy chatting with someone over the phone". They also offer face-to-face befriending which "often involve a volunteer befriender visiting an older person in their home".

The Loneliness Lab: "was co-founded by Lendlease and Collectively, who share a commitment to making our cities less lonely".

Campaign to End Loneliness: "We work to ensure that: People most at risk of loneliness are reached and supported. Services and activities are more effective at addressing loneliness". Campaign is coming to an end this year :(

Source 11: Wray, S. (2022). The city where no one is lonely. [online]. Available from: https://cities-today.com/the-city-where-no-one-is-lonely/ [Accessed 11/01/2024]

Monkey Park: "a café, community centre and co-working space in Brampton, Chesterfield is one of the case studies featured by The Loneliness Lab network. As a social enterprise, Monkey Park’s goal is to “improve the local community by bringing people together and supporting their efforts to change the local area”.

Resilience Brokers: "developed a text message service which encourages the over-50s at risk of social isolation and digital exclusion in the borough of Hackney to visit the nearby Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park. The service includes details about activities of interest as well as the local weather and accessible travel information".

The Liverpool 5G Health and Social Care Testbed: "showed how technologies such as a ‘push to talk’ tool that links older people for a chat and a loneliness quiz and bingo app can help to reduce loneliness".

Source 12: JRC Conference and Workshop Report (2022) Interventions to reduce loneliness among youth. European Commision. [online] Available from: https://publications.jrc.ec.europa.eu › JRC129905 [Accessed 11/01/2024]

Summary of findings:

In response to the brief, understanding these aspects of loneliness within Generation Z can inform the creation of a digital tool or experience on Airbnb that specifically addresses the need for meaningful connections. The tool can incorporate elements that promote face-to-face interactions, intergenerational relationships, and engagement in local communities to counteract loneliness and foster genuine connections.

[riskelk]

Part two of SaplingClan, my clan gen clan!

(more on ‘em under the cut)

Quillstripe

Quillstripe is a young, faithful and calculating warrior that is always observing and thinking about his next move. Some cats find him unsettling because he always seems to think about every outcome, preferring to be one step ahead of you at all times. He's a charming tomcat that keeps to himself mostly but if he does form friendships they are strong and last a long time. He believes strongly in StarClan and their power, often muttering common phrases to do with their ancestors such as may StarClan light your path" and "StarClan help me." He's one of the oldest members of SaplingClan.

Coalshade

Coalshade was a recent addition to the clan, she joined as an injured former kittypet that got taken in and healed up, growing to be an excellent speaker being able to rally the clan behind Robinstar when things get tough. The two she's are close as a result and are often seen together relaxing. She's also a beautiful Molly that Quillstripe definitely has his eyes on.

Wolfgleam

Wolfgleam is bright and loving, checking in on ever cat to make sure that they're okay. After the loss of her mate and kits to twoleg intervention she wandered aimlessly in grief until Wildfeather found her and offered her a place to stay in exchange for shelter and loyalty. Ever since the two have been inseparable and everyone secretly considers her as the clan's mom, so if you get her mad you know you've messed up.

Lyre-eye

Lyre-eye is the oldest member of SaplingClan and proudly, it's only mediator. Being about elder aged the tomcat spends most of his time in camp smoothing over petty disputes to all out fights between clanmates all whilst keeping his own cool when some of the younger warriors are being bee brained and annoying. He has a good relationship with Firkit and Marigoldsplash who often hang out together.

Firkit

Firkit is the youngest member of the clan and he's the most pampered being Robinstars only surviving kit. He's very inquisitive and cute, asking questions about anything he sees and craving as much knowledge as possible. His mother spends a lot of time with him and he's starting to grow bored of being constantly shadowed by a helicopter parent, wanting an adventure.

Pheasantspots

Pheasantspots is sly, sneaky and confident whilst still being a great fighter. Pheasantspots is a new addition to the clan, being found sick as an abandoned kittypet on the clan’s border. Now that he has had time to recover, he’s been a useful part of the clan though some might say he’s a very specific type of cat that is hard to like at first. Margioldsplash and him especially have an awful relationship.

[rosysins]

OOC.

slight vent and update on irl situation ;;w;; !

So - as some of you may know my mom had passed last year in November 2022 due to ovarian cancer. That in itself, is another story of its own that I’m working through with my student psychologist right now. 

However, there is a lot of inner family turmoil thats a result of my mother’s death and it just seems like it snowballed since February of this year. If you guys wanna know the full situation go on ahead and continue or if you guys just want to listen to drama haha XD. I’m already broken beyond belief right now and its taking everything in my willpower to not just hibernate. 

- My family and I are muslims, but my mother was a convert. She was originally from a Catholic family and converted to marry my father. Because of this, my maternal family may not be aware of the customs surrounding islamic funerals and burials. One such custom, is that the belongings of the deceased must be given to family members or donated to people in need. My maternal family - particularly my grandmother, kept stalling and begged my father to wait/to not donate them yet. It wasn’t later that my father realized my grandmother was redistributing the items to her friends and people she knew (because she hates donating to people in need). My father donated all of my mother’s items without telling anyone and it caused my grandmother to freak out. 

- My father started dating again in January 2023 and ‘formally’ married in the end of January (the actual wedding happened in March - he never told me at all about this). My maternal family found out the same time they found out my father had donated all of my mom’s clothes, so they came to the conclusion that the ‘other woman’ was trying to actively throw out everything about my mom and replace her. They’ve turned my useless autistic older brother against my father and step mom.  - The family are continuing to feud over this and are actively pulling me into their messes as mediator, even though I was quite literally still grieving and trying to balance law school all the same. 

- And while thats all happening + on top of school stress and living situation abroad, shortly before I got back home to Indonesia, my step mom and dad kept hinting at me that they have something very important to tell me and that I should mentally get ready for it even though I was already mentally exhausted from all the other shit happening. 

- The thing they wanted to tell me about was one of my mom’s dying regret. That all this time my young cousin (who I actually call younger sister because we were raised very closely) turns out to be my actual younger sister. Her parents - Catholic sister from my mom’s side - couldn’t conceive so they, together with the same grandmother causing a fuss,  pressured my mom all those years ago to allow them to adopt one of her kids. Originally, they wanted to choose me, but I was already old enough to recognize who my parents were. So they ended up adopting my younger sister. My father wanted to tell her as soon as possible because it was my mother’s dying wish but her parents adamantly refused (despite the fact that they watched as my younger sister sobbed over my mom’s body, thinking the entire time it was her aunt) and right now, we’re working for a way for my sister to be able to meet my dad privately without their intervention so he could tell it all to her clearly. 

Yeah my life... I have no idea why it took this k-drama ass turn but I guess this is a good reason why I have never liked K-drama. So yeah! :’’DDD I tend to lurk and enjoy reading your RP threads! But damn, this was already too much for me and I just needed to scream into the void about whats happening in my life. I’m gonna adopt a cat once I get back to the Netherlands and no one can fucking stop me. 

I hope wherever you guys are, you’re doing a lot better than I am! 

[idigitizellp21]

Enmeshed Family Dynamics: When You’re Too Tight-Knit

Have you heard of ‘mama’s boy’ syndrome? Although this is not a formal diagnosis, it has commonly been used to describe a relationship where the child is infantilized by the parent and they are codependent on each other. The children seem to be passive, immature, and are poor at socializing. They are described as ‘babies’ and calls to step up might result in them becoming anxious and  depending more on their parents (Khan ,1971). In family therapy, this kind of relationship is called enmeshment.

This concept was introduced by Minuchin (1974) and describes families where boundaries are diffused and the over-concern for others leads to lack of autonomy. It is characterized by a level of closeness inappropriate for their ages and reciprocally controlling, intrusive behaviors with a lot of distress in the face of separation (Goldberg, 2008; Marvin & Stewart, 1990).  In attachment theory, this has been described as ambivalent/preoccupied attachment. Both theories highlight the risks of such relationships and how a disengaged  partner along with an over-involved partner who tries to seek closeness from the child as a substitute for the detached spouse can lead to unhealthily symbiotic relationships. These dysfunctional patterns then permeate to  the next generation (Rothbaum et al., 2002).

While there have been gender and culture differences with Western cultures evaluating such relationships as more maladaptive and dysfunctional and women more likely to be the victim of inadequate boundaries, in general enmeshed dyads have been associated with negative outcomes such as poor emotional regulation, relationship quality, anxiety and depressive symptoms (Barber & Buehler, 1996; Jacobvitz et al., 2004;  Kivisto et al., 2015; Mayseless & Scharf, 2009; Petrican et al,. 2011; Rothbaum et al., 2002).

There are several circumstances and forms of boundary violations that can contribute towards this family pattern (Khan, 1971; Mayseless & Scharf, 2014)

Role reversal: When children forfeit their own needs,  and share the family’s burden it can come at the cost of their development and identity formation. It can range from household duties to emotional help, advice giving and serving a protective parental figure.

Parental involvement: The parent has little activities to engage themselves and derive much pleasure from the child. They can also be self-centered.

Triangulation: The child becomes the centerpiece of the marital relationship and the mediator of all conflicts. In a sense, the bond between the parents and their caregiving role is undermined and the child becomes the carrier of this responsibility.

Blurring of psychological boundaries: The enmeshed individuals  become an extension of one another with a shared identity. The child does not have an individual identity when it comes to emotional or functional domains.

Illness in early infancy: This might have required the parent to care more for the child, but this extra attention continues as the child develops regardless of the situation.

Psychological control: The parent resorts to tactics denying the opportunity to make decisions, withdrawing love, instilling anxiety and maintaining their power position which can hinder identity or autonomy development.

Guilt induction: The parents induce guilt and deny the freedom of expression. They are coerced into complying with the wishes of the parent and there are difficulties in expressing displeasure.

Overcoming Enmeshment:

There have been several propositions on how enmeshment can be overcome, although many such interventions ought to be viewed critically as they are theoretical rather than data-based.

Listed below are some strategies that can reestablish a healthy family dynamic (Garber, 2010; Williams & Hiebert, 2001):

a. Parental education: Teaching parents to keep their children out of adult conflict and educating them on how they are projecting their unmet needs and dysfunctionalities onto successive generations can be insightful. Enlisting multigenerational examples of effective parenting, irrespective of the caregiving relationship can fulfill the parents needs and prevent them from burdening their child. Technology can be harnessed to effectively communicate such solutions.

b. Re-establishing new roles: In therapy boundaries can be redrawn and a child can return to an age appropriate role. Gestalt therapy techniques such as the empty chair can help elaborate on the role of each family member and how they can contribute towards healthy functioning of the family.

c. Watching out for barriers: The process renegotiating roles can be threatening and breaches can be met with blame. Moreover, the family might be comfortable in their respective roles of being pampered or having excessive authority over the child.  Hence, it might be vital to identify the deeper power dynamics that catalyst such dynamics and reinforce security through the process.

d. Balance the “I” and “We”: Typically enmeshed families don’t have any fences and each one is allowed to step into the other’s boundaries. Balancing this and bringing them to the middle of the continuum where they take care of each other and maintain their autonomy is pivotal.

e. Guilt: As such families live on the principle “I scratch your back, you scratch mine”,  any changes can lead to grappling with guilt. As the family is educated about the role of guilt in reinforcing the current dynamic, it can be viewed objectively and even exaggerated. Identifying the statements that they should take care of each other and replacing it with healthier thoughts can be helpful. This would encourage them to take the onus of being happy and not depending on each other. Verbal reassurances which are non-reactive can aid in delivering a message effectively.

Serenity - Your Wellbeing Studio is a reputable mental health facilitator dedicated to providing comprehensive care and treatment for individuals struggling with various mental health challenges. We help by using a combination of evidence-based therapies, innovative treatments, and personalized care plans, Serenity provides patients with the tools and resources they need to overcome their mental health issues and lead fulfilling lives.

[dimensionalbehaviour]

Why Parent Coaching for Autism is Essential for Early Intervention

When a child is diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), the journey ahead can feel overwhelming for parents. Early intervention plays a critical role in helping children with autism develop essential skills, and one of the most effective approaches to support this process is Parent Coaching for Autism.

At Dimensional Behaviour Consulting Inc, we believe that empowering parents through tailored coaching provides the tools, confidence, and strategies needed to support their child’s growth and success. Let’s explore why parent coaching is so crucial in early intervention and how it benefits both children and families.

Parent coaching for autism is a structured, collaborative approach that equips parents with skills and strategies to support their child’s unique developmental needs. This evidence-based method focuses on creating a supportive environment at home, improving communication, managing behaviors, and fostering independence.

Unlike traditional therapy where a professional works directly with the child, parent coaching empowers caregivers to play a central role in their child’s progress, ensuring consistent and meaningful support.

Why Early Intervention Matters

Early intervention refers to providing support as soon as possible after an autism diagnosis, typically during the critical early years of development. During this period, a child’s brain is highly adaptable, making it the ideal time to teach new skills and address developmental delays.

Research shows that children who receive early intervention are more likely to experience improvements in:

Communication and language skills

Social interactions

Cognitive abilities

Behavioral regulation

Parent coaching enhances the effectiveness of early intervention by helping families integrate therapy techniques into their daily routines.

How Parent Coaching for Autism Supports Early Intervention

Empowers Parents with Practical Tools

Parent coaching equips caregivers with actionable strategies to support their child in natural settings, such as the home or community. These tools help parents encourage communication, improve social skills, and manage challenging behaviors effectively.

Promotes Consistency Across Environments

Therapy sessions alone are not enough for sustained progress. Parent coaching ensures that families can reinforce learning outside of therapy, leading to consistent support and faster development.

Builds Stronger Parent-Child Relationships

Through coaching, parents learn to better understand their child’s needs, emotions, and behavior. This strengthens the parent-child bond, creating a safe and nurturing environment where the child feels supported and understood.

Reduces Parental Stress and Anxiety

Caring for a child with autism can be challenging, especially without proper guidance. Parent coaching provides parents with the confidence and skills to navigate these challenges, reducing stress and fostering a sense of empowerment.

Teaches Early Communication Strategies

One of the key focuses of early intervention is developing communication skills. Parent coaching helps caregivers learn effective ways to encourage verbal and non-verbal communication, setting the foundation for lifelong social and language development.

For more information about Parent Mediated Interventions and visit here Dimensional Behaviour Consulting Inc

[embassyrowprojectonline]

“Bridges Over Battlefields: Pioneering Strategies for Sustainable Peace in Conflict Zones” book is available on Amazon

by Embassy Row Project

“Bridges Over Battlefields: Pioneering Strategies for Sustainable Peace in Conflict Zones” is a groundbreaking book that offers an innovative blueprint for achieving peace in regions marred by conflict. As an invaluable resource for psychologists, government officials, and NGO experts, it shines a light on the multifaceted nature of conflict and provides effective strategies to foster sustainable peace.

Key Takeaways

· Understanding the Spectrum of Conflict: Develop a comprehensive understanding of the varied dynamics of conflict, setting the foundation for strategic peacebuilding.

· Key Drivers and Stakeholders: Explore the underlying causes of conflict and the key players involved, paving the way for more nuanced, effective interventions.

· The Power of Community Engagement: Discover the immense potential of grassroots efforts in peacebuilding, and how local voices can resonate on a global scale.

· Approaches to Reconciliation and Trust-building: Learn effective methods for rebuilding trust in conflict-ridden societies, a crucial step towards lasting peace.

· The Power of Peaceful Communication: Grasp the impact of dialogue and diplomacy in the mediation process and their significance in averting violent outcomes.

· Strategies for Effective Bargaining: Acquire essential negotiation tactics that can facilitate agreement between conflicting parties.

· A Path to Inclusive Peace: Understand strategies for diffusing religious and ethnic tensions, fostering inclusivity and mutual respect.

· Harnessing Cultural Narratives: Delve into how cultural narratives and traditions can contribute to a shared vision of peace.

· Fostering Development Amidst Conflict: Understand the pivotal role of economic factors and development initiatives in building resilience within conflict-affected communities.

· The Future of Peacebuilding: Get insights into how peacebuilding is expected to evolve and prepare for upcoming challenges and opportunities in the field.

“Bridges Over Battlefields: Pioneering Strategies for Sustainable Peace in Conflict Zones” is a comprehensive guide to transforming zones of conflict into arenas of peace. It is an essential read for those involved in conflict resolution, peacebuilding, and international development. With a unique focus on the role of community engagement, reconciliation, inclusive peace processes, and innovative peacebuilding strategies, this book will equip readers with the knowledge and tools to pioneer sustainable peace in the most challenging contexts. As we navigate an increasingly turbulent world, let this book be your compass in the quest for lasting peace. Together, we can replace battlefields with bridges, fostering a future where peace prevails

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Now Available on Amazon!

Kindle: https://www.amazon.com/Bridges-Over-Battlefields-Pioneering-Sustainable-ebook/dp/B0CCXBQDNL/ref=sr_1_90?crid=1Q0ICWEAYQ7IA&keywords=Peaceful+parent+happy+kids&qid=1693404546&s=digital-text&sprefix=peaceful+parent+happy+kids%2Cdigital-text%2C666&sr=1-90

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For more books, please visit James Scott on Amazon.

You may also visit Embassy Row Project.

[johnalexcooper]

Why You Need a Family Solicitor: Expert Support for Your Family Legal Issues

Family legal matters can be emotionally draining, complex, and challenging to navigate without professional guidance. Whether you're dealing with divorce, child custody, property disputes, or prenuptial agreements, having an experienced family solicitor by your side is essential. If you reside in the Scottish capital, Family Solicitors Edinburgh offers tailored legal services to help you achieve the best possible outcome for your family.

In this blog, we’ll explore the critical role family solicitors play, the types of services they provide, and why seeking their expertise in Edinburgh is invaluable.

The Role of Family Solicitors

Family solicitors specialise in legal issues that impact families. They act as legal advisors, negotiators, and, when necessary, court representatives. Their primary goal is to provide clarity, support, and resolutions to disputes or challenges in a way that aligns with your rights and interests.

Here are some of the key roles a family solicitor performs:

Providing Legal Guidance: Explaining complex legal jargon and ensuring clients understand their rights and options.

Drafting Legal Documents: Preparing agreements, contracts, or applications for court proceedings.

Negotiating Agreements: Mediating disputes to achieve amicable settlements outside of court.

Representing in Court: Advocating for clients in cases where court intervention is required.

Services Offered by Family Solicitors in Edinburgh

Family solicitors in Edinburgh are well-versed in Scottish family law, ensuring they can provide localized expertise. They provide a variety of popular services, including:

1. Divorce and Separation

Ending a marriage or civil partnership is rarely straightforward. Family solicitors help clients navigate the legal requirements for divorce, including division of property, financial settlements, and alimony arrangements. In separation cases, they can assist in creating separation agreements that clearly outline financial and parental responsibilities.

2. Child Custody and Parental Rights

Child custody is often one of the most contentious aspects of a family dispute. Family solicitors work to ensure the welfare of the child remains a priority. They help parents negotiate custody agreements, visitation schedules, and decisions regarding the child’s upbringing.

3. Prenuptial and Postnuptial Agreements

Prenuptial agreements are becoming increasingly popular for couples looking to protect their assets before marriage. Similarly, postnuptial agreements can be drafted after marriage to outline financial arrangements in case of separation. Solicitors ensure these agreements are fair, legally binding, and personalized to the couple's needs.

4. Cohabitation Agreements

Unmarried couples living together can face legal uncertainties regarding property ownership, finances, or shared responsibilities. Family solicitors can draft cohabitation agreements to provide clarity and protection for both parties.

5. Domestic Abuse and Protective Orders

In cases of domestic abuse, family solicitors offer compassionate support and legal protection. They help clients apply for protective orders, such as restraining orders or exclusion orders, ensuring their safety and well-being.

6. Adoption and Surrogacy

Adoption and surrogacy involve intricate legal processes that require careful attention to detail. Family solicitors assist prospective parents with the legal paperwork, court applications, and compliance with Scottish adoption laws.

Why Choose Family Solicitors in Edinburgh?

1. Expert Knowledge of Scottish Law

Scotland’s legal system has distinct features that differ from the rest of the UK. Family solicitors in Edinburgh possess in-depth knowledge of Scottish family law, ensuring that your case is handled with precision and compliance.

2. Tailored Local Services

Choosing family solicitors in Edinburgh means working with professionals who understand the local community, courts, and legal resources. Their familiarity with Edinburgh’s unique legal environment can streamline the process and improve outcomes.

3. Compassionate Support During Stressful Times

Family issues can be emotionally taxing. Local solicitors provide empathetic support while maintaining professionalism, helping you navigate the legal system with confidence.

4. Access to Mediation Services

Many Edinburgh-based solicitors emphasise alternative dispute resolution methods, such as mediation, to resolve issues amicably and avoid costly court battles.

How to Choose the Right Family Solicitor

Selecting the right solicitor can make a significant difference in your case. Consider the following factors:

Experience and Specialization: Look for a solicitor with extensive experience in family law and a proven track record in handling similar cases.

Client Testimonials: Reviews and recommendations can offer insight into the solicitor’s professionalism and success rate.

Approach to Communication: Effective communication is vital. Choose a solicitor who listens to your concerns and keeps you informed.

Cost Transparency: Ensure the solicitor provides a clear breakdown of their fees and explains the payment structure upfront.

When to Seek a Family Solicitor

It’s never too early to consult a family solicitor if you’re facing a legal issue. Early legal advice can prevent misunderstandings and help you make informed decisions. Some situations where immediate consultation is beneficial include:

Receiving legal documents related to a family matter.

Planning to initiate legal proceedings, such as divorce or custody arrangements.

Experiencing domestic abuse or needing urgent legal protection.

Final Thoughts

Family legal matters can profoundly impact your life, making it essential to have expert support and guidance. Family Solicitors Edinburgh provide tailored solutions for a range of family-related issues, helping you protect your rights and achieve the best outcomes. Their expertise in Scottish law, combined with compassionate support, ensures you’re not navigating these challenges alone.

Whether you’re dealing with a complex divorce, or custody battle, or looking for a legally binding agreement, family solicitors are your trusted partners in safeguarding your family’s future. Consult a professional today to address your concerns and bring clarity to your legal journey.

[atlantagafamilylawyer]

Atlanta, GA Family Lawyer: Understanding Court Orders in Family Law Cases

Court orders play a vital role in family law cases, providing legally binding resolutions to disputes involving divorce, child custody, support, and other family matters. For individuals in Atlanta, GA, navigating these court orders with the guidance of an experienced family lawyer ensures compliance and protects your rights.

What Are Court Orders in Family Law?

A court order is a formal directive issued by a judge that requires parties involved in a family law case to take specific actions or refrain from certain behaviors. Common types of court orders in family law include:

Divorce Decrees: Finalized agreements outlining the terms of a divorce, including property division, alimony, and child-related arrangements.

Child Custody Orders: These establish legal and physical custody arrangements, visitation schedules, and parenting responsibilities.

Child Support Orders: Mandates specifying the financial support one parent must provide for the upbringing of their children.

Protective Orders: Issued to ensure the safety of individuals in cases involving domestic violence or harassment.

The Importance of Compliance

Court orders are legally binding, and failure to comply can result in serious consequences, including fines, modifications to custody arrangements, wage garnishment, or even imprisonment. Working with a family lawyer in Atlanta can help you understand the terms of a court order and ensure full compliance to avoid potential legal issues.

How a Family Lawyer Can Help with Court Orders

Drafting and Negotiating Orders: A skilled lawyer ensures that the terms of a court order are fair and aligned with your best interests. During negotiations or mediation, your attorney can advocate for favorable terms.

Filing Motions: If circumstances change, such as a job loss or relocation, your lawyer can help file a motion to modify an existing court order to reflect your current situation.

Enforcement: If the other party fails to comply with a court order, your attorney can file a motion for enforcement, compelling them to adhere to the agreement.

Representation in Contested Cases: For disputes requiring a judge’s intervention, having a lawyer ensures that your case is presented effectively, backed by evidence and strong legal arguments.

Factors Affecting Court Orders in Atlanta

In Georgia, family law courts aim to ensure fairness while prioritizing the best interests of children. The following factors influence court orders:

Financial Circumstances: Income, assets, and liabilities of both parties play a crucial role in determining child support and alimony amounts.

Parental Fitness: In custody cases, courts evaluate each parent’s ability to provide a stable and nurturing environment.

Marital Contributions: Contributions to the household, including homemaking and child-rearing, may impact property division and alimony.

Behavior and Conduct: Actions such as failing to comply with previous orders or engaging in abusive behavior can influence court decisions.

Choosing the Right Family Lawyer

Selecting a knowledgeable family lawyer in Atlanta is critical for navigating court orders. When choosing an attorney, consider:

Experience: Look for a lawyer with a strong track record in Georgia family law cases.

Communication: Effective communication ensures you understand your rights and responsibilities.

Reputation: Research reviews and testimonials to find a lawyer respected by clients and peers.

Conclusion

Court orders are essential in resolving family law disputes, but they require careful attention and strict compliance. An experienced Atlanta family lawyer can guide you through the complexities of these legal directives, ensuring your rights are protected and your family’s best interests are served. Whether you need assistance drafting, modifying, or enforcing a court order, professional legal support is invaluable for achieving a fair and effective resolution.