#paramedic!neil

[foxsoulcourt]

Re-reading this fic, occasionally out loud w/ @dont-rain-on-my-solangelo which has been a source of MUCH enjoyment for us both. ThOrOUghLy enjoying diving into this story again. GAHHHH, lo o o o ve Kevin + Neil + Jean's friendship. And the OG Foxes in this universe. Playing the songs Dear Nicky shares w/Neil in Ch. 10 which makes it even.more.fun. Great song choices @fuzzballsheltiepants! 💜

It's finally complete!

Chapters: 17/17 Fandom: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard Characters: Neil Josten, Andrew Minyard, Kevin Day, Matt Boyd, Danielle "Dan" Wilds, Jean Moreau, Jeremy Knox, Laila Dermott Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Paramedics, Paramedic Neil Josten, Advice Column, Strangers to Lovers, Found Family, Mild Angst, Mild Gore, found cat, Depression, humor too, let's be real, It's one of my fics, there's a little bit of everything Summary:

Paramedic Neil Josten has been lost since his mother died, moving from town to town, searching for something. He's not sure what. Himself, whatever that means. Or a life that won't keep shrinking in on itself. But after Kevin, his best friend from paramedic school, called and ordered him to move to South Carolina, Neil ends up with a new partner, a group of friends he can't avoid, and the local advice column he can't stop reading. He finds himself interested in the writer behind the column...

But then he meets Andrew who is weirdly good at everything, and maybe life is not so small after all.

Read from the beginning here! Or catch the epilogue here!

[kiwiaok]

hockey au neil getting his throat accidentally slit open on the rink and all the things that follow

(the stadium getting incredibly loud when neil falls and then deathly silent when he doesn’t get up)

(shards of ice skittering from under andrew’s skates as he races down the rink)

(the moment after paramedics take neil, when there’s blood on the ice and blood on andrew’s hands and nothing to do except wait)

[02511213942]

I love your art style and the way you draw different body types and your username. Hello. Hi, just a fan. Also, do you have any favorite aftg fics?

🥹 THANK YOU!!! you're very kind!! ! i hope to get better at drawing different body types and i like my username too!!

i do have lots of fic recs, but i've been sitting on and incubating this ask for too long so here are just five that have been on my mind again most recently!

til death do us part by @alcego

We follow Neil's professional exy career, including the ups and downs, from beginning to end.

IF IT FEELS LIKE THIS FIC WAS MADE IN A LAB FOR ME IT'S BECAUSE IT WAS!! COMMISSIONED FROM THE BRILLIANT AJ :)) if you loved reading the games in the books u will looove this... sports-heavy outsider pov and media snippets, neil gets a concussion, andreil being odd and cute, kevin day is there. all is well in the world.

Signs of Life by moonix @annawrites

In which Kevin works the graveyard shift, Andrew is the witching hour cryptid, and Neil guards the ice-cream freezer.

if i were andrew i'd make out with neil in aisle ten too... kevin thinking about his breakfast sandwich and andrew needing to touch of the roots of his box blonde hair I LOVE YOUu....

burning with you by @seasy33

The crowd whistles and cheers. People on the dance floor start to pair together, pressing close and swaying. As the song really begins, Neil realizes he knows it and starts humming along, playing idly with the ring on Andrew's finger. Andrew's hand twitches. "You know this song." Neil nods against his shoulder, still humming. "You don't know who Aerosmith is, but you know Shania Twain." Neil shrugs. - Neil and Andrew go to a bar and end up sort-of serenading each other --with country songs. That's it, that's the fic

feral stick figure on all fours dot jpeg. whenever you're still the one or johnny and june come up on my spotify shuffle i think of this fic and my aura acquires a gentle pink glow. i love country music :)

Every Sinner Has A Future by OfficialStarsandGutters

Canon divergent Neil x Aaron. - Neil Josten. A shock of red hair and ocean blue eyes. Pretty faced, but nothing special. Except he makes a throwaway comment about Andrew being off his meds and it’s like everyone in the room forgets to breathe. Even Aaron, his body still and tense with surprise that he can tell them apart. Without even having met Aaron, he knew Andrew wasn’t him. That shouldn’t mean anything. Aaron rubs his sweaty palms on his skinny jeans and tells himself it doesn’t, it doesn’t, it doesn’t.

my fav rare pair and the fic ever for them 🥹 aaron minyard i've really come around to you and i'll even let you take my son out if you have him home by 10.

sunset, like survival by animediac @jaywalkers

The first time Neil dies is devastating. The second time is just as bad. The third time has them wondering if there’s a way out of this loop that doesn’t end with Neil dead. - Night, after night, after night. Baltimore isn't something that just happens once.

kandreil neil death time loop fic you are SO famous to me. on my mind again recently because róisín is very good at being a paramedic and knowing what really happens to the body when you are critically horribly injured, and i asked them what would happen if neil got hypothetically specifically tortured, and they did not let me down.

[jtl-fics]

New 👑

WIP Wednesday 9/4/24 (Closed) | New Kings AU (8/20)

Neil almost wishes he got to see the dumb looks on their faces before they were melted off in the flashover as Neil threw a brick through the window of the sealed warehouse to introduce new oxygen.

Really Neil would have still considered it completely perfect as he and the rest of his mother’s family watch on as paramedics and police arrive and drag out the charred corpses of his father’s people. He feels especially pleased that Lola got to know what it was like to be burned.

No, the issue wasn’t his injuries.

The issue was his Mother’s family’s reaction to his injuries.

“We’re taking you home.” Amanda insists as she looks at him.

“That’s not the deal.” Neil scowls at her.

[ifitmeanslosingyouthenno]

is it heaven up there? (it's hell down here)

day 25 whumptober prompt: surgery | “it’s for your own good”

day 26 whumptober prompt: nightmares

it takes 3 hours and 16 minutes for the firefighters to put out the fire, remove the debris on top of fox tower enough to start pulling bodies

it takes another hour and 36 minutes for them to find neil

for them to take his body out of rubble, barely breathing, eyelids fluttering from where andrew sees him

he's too far away for andrew to check the damage, but his left arm is covered in soot and blood and blisters and

they won't let andrew near him, even if he struggles against the hands and the bodies

“sir it's dangerous for you to be hanging around here, i need to ask you to step away”

he hates talking to pigs, so he directs his focus to the firefighter

“i have to be there with him”

the firefighter looks towards neil following andrew’s gaze, “the redhead? do you know him?”

he grits his teeth so hard they feel like they're going to shatter

“his name is neil, he's my boyfriend”

her gaze softens, looking back at where the paramedics frantically check neil's eyes with a phone lamp, then back at the cops beside her, and finally back to andrew

“okay fine, i heard he's in pretty bad shape, you can ride with him on the ambulance”

he doesn't wait for any more acknowledgement, shrugging off the hands and the memories and the panic trying to drown him 

neil fucking needs him

when he reaches him, he understands why the firefighter let him close 

neil is covered in burns, every skin surface that meets andrew's eyes peeling and blistering and raw and red– 

his left leg is fucking mangled, a mess of torn skin and live muscle and–

andrew can see his fucking bone

the worst part is that his eyes are struggling to remain open

neil is awake 

there’s a collar around his throat, keeping him from moving, and he’s making these horrible fucking sounds and he’s fucking panicking but he’s restrained and

“sir, sir are you his family? can you tell me his name?”

neil doesn’t speak, just lets out weak wheezes and whines and they’re shoving an oxygen mask on his face

don’t touch him, he wants to tell them, to scream to yell to cry, don’t fucking touch my neil

but he knows they only want to help, knows they are there to help

his skin crawls as if it’s him on that stretcher with strangers touching him

“his name is neil josten, and everyone in his biological family is dead, i’m his boyfriend, i’m the closest thing he has to a family”

for some reason that makes the paramedic talking to him falter for a second, but he shakes it off quickly, “right, well, we’re going to need you to come with us to the hospital then, he’s going to need emergency surgery and he’s going to need someone to be there for him”

he watches as they roll neil a mumbling neil into the ambulance numbly, and hops inside without a second thought, watches as the paramedic shuts the door and hops on the drivers seat, taking off and turning the siren on at once

hospital

emergency surgery 

someone to be there for him

wait

andrew’s in too deep for this

the other foxes were waiting with him

shit–

“his poa is our coach”

they’re hooking neil up to a bunch of different wires and monitors and things aaron would understand so much better than him, and the paramedic just hums in question, but turns to look at andrew in question

andrew hates repeating himself

“his power of attorney is our coach, we left him at the building”

the paramedic mutters under her breath, just putting something on neil’s finger before 

“let him know to rush to the hospital right now, we need him there”

andrew’s hands tremble too much for him to text wymack, so he presses the call button instead

“andrew? when the fuck did you leave? how is neil?”

he wants this to be a nightmare, wants to wake up and find neil wrapped up in his arms, safe and sound in their dorm at fox tower and everything is fine, they’re fine, neil is fine

he can’t fucking speak

“kid, put him on speaker”

the paramedic must see the panic on his eyes, and normally he’d hate to follow orders but now he’s frozen

god he’s fucking terrified

he puts the phone on speaker to the sound of wymack repeating his name

“hi, this is paramedic martinez, i’m on the ambulance with neil josten and i need you to get to redding center right now, he’s going to need extensive care and most likely surgery and um, your guy here says you’re mr. josten’s poa, so we’re going to need you there”

“i’ll be right there, andrew, don’t hang up, tell me how things are looking”

andrew can’t answer him, god he can’t fucking breathe, he can’t fucking do this, not again, he can’t–

“andrew is busy holding neil’s hand right now,” the angel that is the paramedic says, giving andrew a sharp look, and despite his skin burning, he holds onto neil’s hand, “but i can catch you up, we’re looking at a possible ruptured lung, rib fractures, internal injuries to his abdomen because there’s free fluid in there, a pretty bad and exposed leg fracture, and we have high suspicions of spinal injury, but we can’t be sure just yet, we just know that he will need emergency surgery and scans and we need you there”

“okay, okay, i’m going to be there as fast as i can, andrew make sure that idiot makes it, okay? make sure you both do”

he doesn’t reply, just hangs up to the pitiful stare of paramedic martinez

he wants to wake up, he wants to wake up, he wants to wake up

he hears spluttering, and his head snaps to neil, fumbling and struggling to take the oxygen mask off his face

“shit, no, hey it’s okay, don’t take that off, it’s okay”

neil’s eyes are wide open and they’re staring right at andrew, eyes teary and desperate and pained and

“drew, drew,” he’s panting, and andrew can’t fucking breathe, “i don’, don’ wan’ surg’ry”

“neil, neil i need you to calm down okay, we need to have the doctors check you out so they know the best way to help you” 

there are tears rolling down neil’s eyes

he never takes his gaze away from andrew

“don’– don’ let them, drew– don’ let them do this”

andrew’s chest is caving in on itself

he wraps his hand tighter around neil’s, and there’s a burning behind his eyes

his lungs are burning

neil has burnt

“it’s for your own good,” he says weakly around the knot in his throat

neil lets out a painful sob, squeezing his eyes closed as tears keep spilling down the sides of his cheeks

andrew wants to wake up from this nightmare, he can’t fucking do this 

he needs this to be a nightmare

he wants to wake up 

[jaywalkers]

hi róisín, since ur in med, i was wondering : is aftg v medically accurate ?

hihi! i'll preface with that i'm not a med student, i'm a final year paramedic student, but i think my scope and areas of practice fit the antics the foxes get into in aftg enough to comment on it!

i won't talk on aftg's take on medications, antipsychotics or otherwise, because a lot of other lovely people who are far more educated on the topic have written about it! when it comes to aftg's treatment of injuries, though, i do have some things to say.

i'm going to tee up a couple of examples of frontline medical treatment in aftg and make some comments on them! granted they're very messy, but i hope they're understandable enough.

from the best, to the worst:

kevin's hand

i don't think it's unfeasible that kevin was back to playing capacity two years after his injury happened — while i think that his hand was probably severely fractured, and there was likely different fingers involved too, with good surgical intervention (which he was likely able to access) hand fractures, even complex ones, can be healed enough in 4-6 months.

the ligament injuries would be the more pertinent, and i think those would be the more pressing concern for him outside of the healed bones, considering ligament injuries can cause chronic issues not limited to pain. i would be surprised if abby was the sole medical provider for the foxes, because while she does appear to be a well-rounded sports nurse, kevin probably would have needed to work with a dedicated physiotherapist and/or a hand specialist to get the use of his hand semi-back to normal.

other questions abt kevin's medical problems? please observe here

2. neil's wounds post baltimore

when it comes to how these wounds are treated by medical staff, i have no concerns. the hospital neil is brought to by the FBI seems to have treated the wounds well and left him to sleep off any negative follow-on effects from the chloroform. the only thing i have qualms with is the implication from the hotel scene that the hospital has put an adhesive dressing over neil's burn on his cheek, which is a big no in wound-dressing — burned skin is very delicate, and adhesives can damage or rip it away with removal. it's why we use glad-wrap in the prehsopital setting for burns, because it's sterile and not sticky!

abby, when she gets her hands on neil, changes the bandages so the wounds can be visualised and aired out, cleans them again, and then re-dresses them cleanly. i have no issues here.

when it comes to how these wounds are treated by andrew, i have only this text from my brother when he first read the series a couple of years ago

throughout the series, including post-nest, andrew is constantly getting his grubby little mitts in neils fresh wounds. he should not be doing that. in particular in the hotel scene he peels away the adhesive dressing over a burn which is just a recipe for tissue-loss, severe pain, and increased risk of infection. i don't know how abby didn't scream because i would have.

just andrew. in general. yikes, my dude. don't do that.

3. jean

jean. he is the kicked dog of this series and i genuinely don't know how he was alive at the start of the book series, let alone at the end. at the start of the series, he has (according to the EC) experienced not only numerous fractures to various bones, but has had two incidences where he 'bashed his head open on the concrete', and needed 266 stitches total. also ten incidences of waterboarding.

if we break this down: that's two major head injuries, multiple incidences of significant amounts of blood loss, and ten incidences of asphyxial peri-arrest events.

it's further implied by both the novels and the extra content that jean was not given time to heal from these injuries, and instead had to play games. add to that the hours of the nest and the living conditions, and i actually cannot fathom how jean was not yet dead, by either a single incident or the culmination of many. exy is a contact sport. those head injuries, plus an accidental shoulder-check into the plexiglass could have, and should have killed him.

i'm glad he didn't. i think it's important that he didn't. but it is a miracle of biology and the sanctity of his cerebral blood vessels that he stays alive to the end of the books.

---

anyway i hope this all makes a bit of sense! im writing this half-mad with eight hours until my last exam for my 2nd to last semester so i'm running on energy drinks and way too much memorisation work of how benzos work. thank you for the question! and as always, please field more my way i LOVE this stuff.

[ok555ficideas]

Help me remember

Andrew sighed with relief when the whistle announced the end of the game. It was an exhausting one, not because it was a demanding opponent. No, Ravens stopped being a force to be reckoned with a year ago, when the foxes beat them in the finale. After that it was like a snowball of fallen ravens and the team had not yet recovered. 

It wasn’t even a championship game. The season was over. Foxes had beaten the Trojans in the finale six to five. This was just a friendly game between two teams, who hated each other, to improve their image. 

The Ravens didn’t play like they wanted to improve anything. They played as if it was the most important match of their career. They were vicious and unforgiving. They weren’t stupid enough to foul Andrew, but that couldn’t be said about the rest of his teammates. 

But it was over and Andrew could finally breathe. His people were only in various bad shapes, but none of them needed any medical attention outside of Abby. He looked across the court at a smiling Neil who was heading his direction. Helmet under his arm and a glint in his eyes that meant that he was on his way to say something incredibly stupid that would leave Andrew’s stomach in knots. 

Stupid junkie with his stupidly beautiful blue eyes and blinding smile. Andrew wanted to punch him in his stupid face, preferably with his lips. The rest of the team would probably go to the basement to celebrate with lots of alcohol. And whenever there was alcohol there was Kevin, so they would have the dorm for themselves. Andrew couldn’t wait to get his hands on Neil. They had only a week left of classes and after that Andrew was planning on taking Neil to Columbia for at least a week. He knew that taking his idiot away from the court for longer was impossible so when Neil reluctantly agreed to one week when Andrew was insisting on two, he decided to quit while he was ahead. 

Neil was in the middle of the court when suddenly there was a body throwing him in the direction of the plexiglass. There was a loud sound as the backliner who was assigned to Neil during the game repeatedly banged Neil head on the wall. Andrew wasn’t the first to get to him, since he was still standing in his goal, never keen to be in the middle of the celebration. 

Matt threw the backliner off of Neil and there was Abby immediately at his side, checking him over. Seeing as Neil was in good hands, Andrew went for the Raven first. He pushed Matt away and punched the much taller man straight in the face and then troppeled him over on the ground. He managed a couple more punches, but then there were people's hands all over him, trying to pull him away. 

There was ringing in his ears and he didn’t want to let himself be pulled away. He would probably still be fighting all of them if not for a small, barely heard above all the noise voice.

“Drew”

He jumped from the backliner immediately and shraged away all the people who tried to calm him down. He kneeled next to Neil and gripped his hand softly. There wasn’t any visible blood, but Abby looked worried.

“We need to take him to the hospital.” She said,

Andrew helped her pick Neil up and they went into the foxes changing room. He wanted to drive Neil to the hospital himself, but with the game just ending the traffic would be a nightmare. They called 9-1-1 and waited for the ambulance to get here. 

Apart from the stupid nickname that melted Andrew’s heart every time Neil used it, the striker didn’t utter another word. He was lying unconscious while Abyy tried to assess the damage to his probably broken ribs. 

The paramedics showed up ten minutes later and let Andrew ride with Neil to the hospital after he threatened them with a knife for trying to keep him away. 

It was all a blur after that. They took Neil to do some tests and Andrew had to wait in the waiting area.  He wasn’t sure what time it was, once Neil was all done and patched up and safely tucked away in a hospital bed.  Andrew was sitting in the armchair beside him. Someone must have warned the hospital staff to not even try to kick him out, because no one batted an eye at him staying way past visiting hours. He didn’t want to fall asleep. He wanted to watch Neil and protect him. 

“It is too late for protection, you failed.” A traitorous voice sounded at the back of his head. 

He tried to silence his racing thoughts, but there was no reason to deny them. He failed. If he was closer to Neil. If he made his way across the court instead of waiting in his goal, maybe he would be able to stop the backliner from attacking Neil. If he wasn’t so focused on Neil’s stupid smile and pretty face, maybe he would spot the danger and prevent it. 

His eyelids started to get heavy. He took a last glance at Neil’s unconscious form and fell asleep himself. He was used to having nightmares, but tonight they were filled with guilt instead of fear. 

[otdiaftg]

Things go from bad to worse when Columbia's finest show up at the Hemmicks' house. The first responders and paramedics arrive at almost the same time, but they were followed by two more sets of officers. Neil doesn't know if they had nothing better to do on a Sunday night or if they'd come following the slip of Kevin Day's name over the police radio.

Day: Sunday, November 12th Time: 5:10 PM EST

[ihni]

Justifiable police brutality

For the Fall of Neil Hargrove, day 4. Prompt: "Justifiable police brutality"

~~~

When Hopper gets to Cherry Lane, the boy is black and blue It’s clear, by ways of welts and cuts, what Billy has been through An eye that’s black, a lip that’s fat, a shoulder dislocated He whimpers when he’s touched, a sound that can’t be fabricated Neil Hargrove’s cuffed, off to the side; his knuckles are all bruised He watches paramedics treat his son, and looks amused

Jim Hopper had a dad himself, the asshole long since dead He used to hurt Jim just like this, and beat him ‘til he bled No one will beat Jim today, he’s big and strong and tough But he remembers how it felt when nothing was enough Remembers feeling hopeless, and like there was no way out Asshole dads and pain is something Jim knows all about

He takes Neil Hargrove by the arm, and leads him to his car It’s just out through the door, across the yard; it’s not that far It’s strange, then, how the man can’t seem to keep himself upright How he keeps tripping – Hopper asks, voice flat, “Are you alright?” “You tripped me!” Hargrove spits, then groans and squeezes his eyes shut (It’s hard to keep on shouting when a boot is in your gut)

Jim yanks the man upright again, ignores the way he swears His fingers might leave bruises but it’s not like Hopper cares He gets the man into the backseat then, but not before He accidentally bangs his head against the Blazer door Slamming the door shut, he just makes sure that Neil can’t flee It’s really not on purpose that he clips the bastard’s knee

He gets behind the wheel and drives, then suddenly, he brakes Neil Hargrove crashes forward and Jim hopes that something breaks “Ooops,” he says, without remorse, and puts the car in drive He’s not a monster; when he’s done, Neil will still be alive But Jim is just a man, and he cannot resist temptation He decides that he will take the long way to the station

~~~

@fallofneilhargrove

[cavinginhisfvce]

'No Other Way Out For Me"

Pairing: Harringrove.

Tw: suicide attempt, ED unspecified, implied child abuse, self-harm.

Loosely based off the quote "They never want to discuss what triggered you. Just how you reacted."

Was originally one part, but will now be two!

Nobody notices the way Billy seems largely put off by every meal. They don't see the disgust that courses through him with every bite, through every uptick in his calorie intake.

They don't see when he finally dips off to the bathroom to ralph every morsel he possibly can.

Nobody hears his cries over the rush of shower water, they don't hear him shouting to be seen, heard, and held. 

They don't see the drops of red that mix in with his shower water as it trails down the drain.

What they do see is Billy's unbridled anger. His hair triggers for any and all things. They see bruised knuckles, and split lips in place of his oh so evident pain. They see a nuisance, an unreasonably angry boy. They take what they see at face value, nobody digs further. Billy doesn't ask them to.

Nobody witnesses the days Billy can barely drag himself out of bed. Nobody sees the days where he's so tired, every movement feels like a war on his body and mind.

There's always a hidden layer of fatigue beneath his skin, some days it's easily ignored, while others it demands to be addressed. 

No one is around to watch as Billy Hargrove becomes a shell of his former self. Only Billy and the four walls of whatever room he's holed up in.

Nobody sees the papers that litter Billy's bedroom, or their contents. They don't see the "Dear Max'" and the "I'm sorrys". 

Not until it's too late, anyway. 

Now, Max watches, horrified as Steve Harrington and her step father alternate between applying pressure to Billy's wounds, and checking for a pulse. 

It all seems so hopeless. Her mother tries, and fails to shield her from seeing the panicked attempts at keeping Billy alive. The paramedics aren't too far, Max can hear the blare of their sirens, even over Steve's rushed words of, "stay with us, Billy. Please." "I got you, please." 

Please, please, please.

Max wonders if he's pleading with Billy or with the universe. She hopes it's both.

When the EMTs finally did arrive, Max watched with tearful blue eyes as they carted Billy off and into the Ambulance. She watched as Neil slipped in before the doors shut. She watched as Steve dropped to his knees and began to sob, his clothes ruined from the blood that was all over their living room floor. She doesn't know if she should comfort him or leave him be.

She didn't understand why Steve was crying. Was it because the situation was traumatic, even for them? Or was it because somewhere along the line, they'd become friends or something like it?

Sadly, Max wasn't able to wonder very long before her mom was guiding her back into the house. She tried to rush them past the spots where Billy's blood pooled the most, tried to keep the red stained floors from view, but Max had already seen. Max had already seen the state her brother was in when they found him. Had seen the lifeless tint to his skin. 

She thought for sure he was gone, but somehow, in spite of his own attempts, he was still fighting. Still alive. 

Weak, but alive. If the EMTs were to be trusted when they told her and her mom that Billy would be okay.

Her mom tells her to pack a bag, one for herself and one for Billy. 

She obliges. 

When her own bag is packed and resting at the foot of her bed, Max hurriedly slips into Billy's room.

She ignores the knowledge that she hasn't been inside of his room in almost a year. She pushes past the visible signs that her brother had been spiraling. There's beer cans littering just about every flat surface. There's papers everywhere, some ripped, some crumpled. 

But, worst of all? It's significantly empty, all his posters are gone, leaving his walls bare, lackluster. 

His once extensive record collection has dwindled considerably. He barely has six left. Max notes that almost all his favorite ones are gone, the remaining six are the ones she too found herself enjoying. Back when her and Billy hung out. Before they moved to Hawkins and Billy changed.

His clothes are all packed away in plastic crates, the kind meant for long term storage. 

She doesn't let herself consider how long Billy had been planning this. If she did, she'd probably see all the signs he laid out for somebody to acknowledge. 

He had long since swapped out his short-sleeved, tight shirts, for layers. His jeans followed the same fate, and were replaced by sweatpants and loose jeans. At the time, Max assumed the cold had finally gotten to him. She thought he was just conforming to a life in a brisk town, the same as her.

Instead of packing a bag, she reaches down and swipes up a piece of paper. It's crumpled beyond repair, but legible nonetheless.

"Dear Max, 

I'm sorry. For everything. I wasn't a good brother, and you deserved better than that. 

I'm sorry I couldn't protect you from him, any longer. Please don't hate me for this, Max. 

If you have to hate me, hate me for how I treated you. But please don't hate me for this. There was no other way out for me,"

The letter gets cut off there, Max guesses he wasn't pleased with how it was coming along.

Max drops the paper with a soft gasp, her eyes filling with tears once again. She wouldn't cry though. Because Billy was going to be okay. He was going to get better, and Max could be the sister he's always needed, and in turn she hopes he will at least try to be a proper brother to her. 

She wants to read another unfinished note, but it feels like an invasion, because Billy might've been addressing her, but the letters were still in his possession.

She's never hated him. She just followed the tune he played, it was better if Neil thought they were against one another. Even Max knew that without needing to be told.

But this whole situation? It changed the tune of the song, whether Billy intended for it to or not, Max was no longer following his cues. She didn't need to, because when Billy came home, they'd write the song together.

With that in mind, Max sets to pack his bag. It was easy, considering the way his clothes were packed up. 

Max, despite her protests, was sent to stay with The Byers' for over a week.

Usually, staying with her friends was a blessing, but this time it was a dreadful affair. She just wanted to go see Billy in the hospital, but she kept being told she was too young to see him that way. As if she hadn't seen her brother lying in a pool of his own blood. 

When Max was able to go home, Billy still hadn't been released from the hospital. At dinner, she finally asked why that was. 

Neil seemed to tense up at the question, his fingers clutched his fork so tightly the metal all but bent at the action.

"He's not well, Maxine. The doctors just want to keep him there a little longer to make sure nothing like this happens again." Her mom's voice cut through the silence that followed her question. 

Max, feeling pissed off, and put out for some reason, just nodded and went back to eating her dinner. 

Well, she tried at least. Most of it was burned, or just too bland. 

Her mom was never a good cook, not like Billy who would always manage to save Susan's dishes in some way. He always caught them before they burned, or snuck in extra seasoning whenever her mom would turn her back.

It was another two weeks before Billy was meant to come home, only five days before it all, Neil had taken off in the dead of night. He didn't leave a note, didn't even say goodbye. 

To Max's knowledge, her mother hadn't cried when she realized her husband wouldn't be returning. She blared the music Neil often complained about, Billy's favorite genre of music, and skirted around Billy's bedroom. She had Max help her unpack his belongings, his clothes returned to the closet, his scarce record collection was put into a proper display. 

Steve even came by and hung Billy's mirror up behind his door. To Max's surprise, he'd also replaced the posters that once covered the walls. He even went as far as to add additional posters, ones from bands Max knew Billy enjoyed. She just didn't know why Steve also knew which bands he favored.

The day they set out to pick Billy up from the hospital, Max had been buzzing with excitement. Three long weeks of not seeing Billy was finally coming to a close. 

Max couldn't remember the last time she had been so ready to see the blond, she thinks it might've been when their parents were only dating. They still lived in California, they still got along back then.

However, on the ride over, Max was starting to regret agreeing to come along. She initially thought Billy had been in Hawkins Memorial Hospital, it was nearby, and equipped to take care of him. 

But, when they drove beyond the town's limits, to a hospital in the next town over, Max had thrown her head back with a groan. 

Steve, who had offered to drive her and her mom, just laughed and glanced back at her when they pulled into a red light. "It's a long drive, right? I've made this drive at least six times this month." 

Again, Max was left to wonder just how close Steve and her brother had gotten without her knowing.

This time, however, she voiced her question to him. 

The elder seemed to pause, his hands freezing in their place on the steering wheel. He was almost dazed until Susan laid a hand on his arm and whispered something Max couldn't catch. 

Whatever it was, was apparently enough to have him nodding his head and breathing out. "We're dating? He's my boyfriend, I guess. I mean, it was purely physical for a long time, but..." 

Even though he sounded unsure, and was probably scolding himself for oversharing, Max detected the smile in his voice. She was shocked, for a multitude of reasons. But, mostly because Steve Harrington was dating her brother. The mere thought had her gagging out loud, her face scrunched up in obvious displeasure. She was shocked her mother knew, but that was a topic to broach on a later date.

"Okay, TMI! I get it." Her mom was the first to dissolve into giggles, but both Max and Steve were quick to follow suit.

It took almost thirty minutes before Billy was crossing the threshold of the hospital he'd spent nearly a month in. When he spotted Max, Susan and Steve, it was obvious they hadn't seen him yet. So, Billy did what any sensible older brother would do, and snuck up behind Max. His eye caught Steve's and he motioned for him to remain silent, before he was placing both hands on Max's shoulders and leaning into her space. "Hey, shitbird!" 

Max, who almost jumped out of skin, turned around and flung herself into Billy's arms. "Asshole!"

The latter caught her easily, his arms winding around her waist, both of them ignoring Susan's gentle scolding. 

It was at least a minute before Billy was playfully shoving her away, his face twisted up in mock anger, "alright  enough, you're getting little bitch all over me!"

Max slapped his arm, her lips forming a pout, "stop being an ass, I missed you!"

Billy just smirked at her, clicking his tongue as he glanced up at Steve, then at Susan. 

There was a mischievous glint in his eye, one familiar to all of them. 

Steve was the one to groan, "Billy, no, don't." 

But, his plea fell on deaf ears, because two seconds later, Billy was saying, "You act like I almost died, Maxie."

Again, Max slapped his arm, this time with more power than the first one. "Don't joke about that, Billy!" 

Her body seemed to betray her demands, because she was then giggling madly. 

"Only you two would find this funny." Her mom just shook her head, her disappointment overshadowed by the fond twinge to her tone.

On the ride home, Max and Susan both sat in the back, allowing Billy the opportunity to sit in the passenger seat.

He tried convincing Steve to let him drive, but he was quick to decline. None of them were too keen on the motion sickness that came with Billy's fast, reckless driving.

Every time Steve glances in Billy's direction, Max can't help but to wonder if he's seeing the same image that flashes occasionally in her mind. 

Billy, not breathing, bleeding too much for any one person, he was thinner than Max could recall. 

It was like Billy had been replaced before their very eyes. Only, nobody noticed the way his cheeks seemed to sink in, or the way his eyes always held dark bags, even after hours, and hours of rest.

Once upon a time, Max would've praised herself for how well she knew her step brother, but recent events proved she knew very little about him. It had taken him nearly dying for her to see his pain. For anyone to see his pain. Max wishes she would've seen Billy changing from abrasive to withdrawn for what it was. A cry for help. Instead, she wrote it off. She wrote him off.

[youve-cath-to-be-kitten-me]

Masterlist!

(Works are listed most recent first)

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notsomagicath

Warrior Nun 

coda

Avatrice - Rating: E - Word Count: 100k - Multi-Chapter (18/18) - Ballerina x Lighting Designer AU for the Avatrice Big Bang in collaboration with @adlerdoodles!

once again

Avatrice - Rating: T - Word Count: 18k - Multi-Chapter (5/5) - My take on Switzerland (canon compliant) + what comes after

you think i’m such a good thing (you have no idea)

Avatrice - Rating: T - Word Count: 14k - One Shot - Band AU (based heavily on the band MUNA)

Arcane 

jane doe 

CaitVi - Rating: M - Word Count: 30k - Multi-Chapter (16/16) - Witness Protection AU

i’m only a fool for you (and maybe you’re too good for me) 

CaitVi - Rating: M - Word Count: 5k - Multi-Chapter (3/3) - Continuation of S1E9 (The Monster You Created)

IT

Buzzfeed Unsolved Supernatural Season 7, Episode 5, The Harrowing Case of It and the Derry Disappearances 

Reddie - Rating: T - Word Count: 3.5k - One Shot - Buzzfeed Unsolved AU, Transcript Format 

Under The Same Stars 

Reddie - Rating: T - Word Count: 4k - One Shot - Fix it, Pre and Post-Canon stargazing

Marvel

Leave Me To Dream

Stucky - Rating: T - Word Count: 5k - One Shot - Bucky struggles with sleep and healing

Ambidextrous 

Stucky - Rating: M - Word Count: 10k - Multi-Chapter (3/3) - Soulmate AU (writing on one soulmate’s skin appears on the other) 

Red White and Royal Blue 

Fire on Fire 

FirstPrince - Rating: T - Word Count: 2.5k - One Shot - Firefighter/Paramedic AU 

All For The Game 

When It All Feels So Big 

Andriel - Rating: T - Word Count: 4k - One Shot - Happy Childhood Kid AU, No Romance 

Tell Me To Hold On 

Andriel - Rating: T - Word Count: 15k - Multi-Chapter (12/12) - Neil meets Andrew earlier under a different alias 

Voicemails to the Dead 

Jerejean - Rating: T - Word Count: 6k - One Shot - Jean’s healing journey is documented in a series of voicemails left on Riko Moriyama’s phone 

Game of Thrones 

Crooked Halos 

Gendrya - Rating: T - Word Count: 6k - One Shot - Modern Setting, Supernatural/Angels AU

Carry On (Rainbow Rowell) 

How Many Simons in the Universe

SnowBaz - Rating: T - Word Count: 15k - Multi-Chapter (13/13) - In-Universe SKAM AU

Simonverse/Creekwood (Becky Albertalli) 

Morning Bells Are Ringing 

Spierfeld - Rating: G - Word Count: 1k - One Shot - Simon (ironically) sings Frere Jacques to get their daughter to sleep 

Marauders 

And I Won’t Run Away 

Wolfstar - Rating: T - Word Count: 6k - Multi-Chapter (4/4) - Lie Low at Lupin’s 

[sir-sanguinus]

All of these apply to me :/

[rescuefield-arch1]

claire's dating situation is a disaster. she unfortunately is a paramedic even when it comes to relationships, those red cross beliefs always coming through most times at the cost of her mental health.

she's always been the queen of one night stands because boyfriends ( and girlfriends ) were too complicated for her, growing older it's just easier to not get too attached romantically as it almost always leads to a huge disappointment... or a funeral, depends on the day really.

has somewhat tried to give it a go to a relationship with neil, though it was really just them staying in the office later than others, having quickies and calling it the height of their day ( debatable ). she really got into him only when he "needed" her which honestly is classic claire - always on the rescue.

i do think on the long run had neil not screwed up big time, she would have settled for him though whether she would have been happy or not is ( you guessed ) debatable.

[bumblepony]

🍈

🍈 Who’s your blorbo and what are some of your favorite headcanons/ideas about them that repeatedly show up in your fics? Free pass to rant about blorbo opinions.

Frank

He is my OG blorbo and in my fics, he is usually some sort of paramedic or nurse before the outbreak. His mother usually dies from ALS and he has to care for her. He's struggled with depression his whole life.

Joel

His father usually leaves when he is young, he's either neglectful or he's violent. His mother has to work a lot, so he ends up basically raising Tommy. He is a loving father, but he has a hard time showing his emotions. He will do anything to protect the ones he loves. His wife normally leaves him with Sarah when she's really you less than a year.

Tess

I follow the idea that Criag and Neil HC'ed of her having a son who she locked in the basement after he turned because she couldn't bring herself to kill him. I truly think she was in love with Joel, but they never said it to one another because they couldn't take the heartbreak. Usually, I have her as a dental hygienist in my storylines she is a stickler about oral hygiene. She is extremely smart, like Mensa-level smart, and she thinks fast on her feet, which not all intelligent people do, that's a different skill. She has both the skills and the ability to use them.

[shadowmaat]

There, wolf

There's a post by Neil Gaiman going around where he's missing Terry Pratchett and wondering if werewolves exist in the Good Omens 'verse.

My immediate response is: they do, but they've lost the ability to shift. Most people would probably go "ah yes, that explains men who call themselves Alpha Males," but they'd be wrong. So-called "Alpha Males" are the type of people who would NEVER be werewolves.*

Leaving aside a lot of tedious horror-themed lore about werewolves, we do know that wolves are generally very pack/community-oriented. It's all about working together to keep each other safe, raise pups well, and make sure there's enough for everyone to eat.

Human-locked werewolves aren't as likely to be bullying, misogynistic assholes or the Karens who harass employees and wash away children's chalk art; they'd be teachers, chefs, and farmers. You'd find them running soup kitchens, helping in nursery/preschools, and acting as paramedics. Werewolves are helpers, and while there will always be exceptions, they're just that: exceptions.

[ulkaralakbarova]

When famous DJ Alan Partridge’s radio station is taken over by a new media conglomerate, it sets in motion a chain of events which see Alan having to work with the police to defuse a potentially violent siege. Credits: TheMovieDb. Film Cast: Alan Partridge: Steve Coogan Patt Farrell: Colm Meaney Lynn Benfield: Felicity Montagu Michael: Simon Greenall Janet Whitehead: Anna Maxwell Martin Martin Finch: Darren Boyd Jason Cresswell: Nigel Lindsay Danny Sinclair: Dustin Demri-Burns Angela: Monica Dolan Dave Clifton: Phil Cornwell Sidekick Simon: Tim Key Don: Simon Delaney Steve Stubbs: Sean Pertwee Greg Frampton: Karl Theobald Bettie: Elizabeth Berrington WPC Ruth: Jessica Knappett Conner Scott: Simon Kunz Officer Rohan Kapoor: Peter Singh Tonia Scott: Lucy Briers TV Reporter: Eleanor Matsuura Girl in Crowd: Diane Morgan Armed Mangina Officer: Robert Whitelock Mangina Paparazzo: Martin Glyn Murray Old Man on Pier: Alan Rothwell Old Woman on Pier: Rita Davies Desk WPC: Katie Males Sarge: Dan Mersh Paramedic: Anna Stockton Executive: Kieran Hodgson Sky News Reporter: Jayne Secker Film Crew: Director: Declan Lowney Executive Producer: Peter Baynham Executive Producer: Steve Coogan Executive Producer: Armando Iannucci Executive Producer: Christine Langan Producer: Kevin Loader Producer: Henry Normal Executive Producer: Joe Oppenheimer Director of Photography: Ben Smithard Executive Producer: Neil Gibbons Executive Producer: Rob Gibbons Executive Producer: Jenny Borgars Executive Producer: Danny Perkins Music: Ilan Eshkeri Editor: Mark Everson Production Design: Dick Lunn Art Direction: Andrea Matheson Set Decoration: Anna Kasabova Costume Design: Julian Day Makeup Artist: Lesley Altringham Makeup Artist: Sally Collins Makeup Artist: Nikki Hambi Makeup & Hair: Lesley Noble Makeup Artist: Linda Wilson Supervising Sound Editor: Jack Gillies Movie Reviews: