#paracharles

[joshhakiminyc-blog]

Kiss Me//Josh&Charlie

Josh had woken up a little disheveled from the night before, he had a wonderful birthday with his friends but he was more than ready to see Charlie. He smiled as he looked at his phone and saw the text that his boyfriend had gotten home safe. He texted him back and sighed happily that Charlie was coming over, but he still had things to do before he came over. Josh climbed out of bed, showered as fast as he could and tidied up his apartment as best as he could. He checked himself in the mirror and had decided to leave his hair as it was, very curly. Josh started the coffee pot and walked over to his desk and opened some emails that had been building up as he waited. 

@mrcharlesjackson

[joshhakiminyc-blog]

Pasta and Candles //Josh and Charlie

Who: Josh Hakimi and @mrcharlesjackson

When: Nov 2nd, evening

Where: Josh’s apartment

Notes:  A second date, a more casual one for both of them.

Tiggers: None

The clock hit 3:30 and Josh grabbed his bag and started heading for the door. He never left early, for anything. He got a few weird looks as he walked out of his department for that main reason, his boss looked at him with a smile. “Got a date or something, kid?”

Josh looked back at him and nodded “I do actually…” He blushed as he gripped the strap of his bag as he hummed and walked out of the museum and towards the Whole Foods. It took him about two hours to get everything he needed if there was ever a time to picky, he was sure that today was that day. He did, however, regret it as he had to carry everything onto the subway, but it was worth it. Once at home he grabbed his laptop and started looking up the recipes that he bookmarked and got to work. When things were cooking he got the apartment tidy and went and got himself cleaned up. He was a little less nervous about this date, then he was about the first one. That was a good sign, he thought as he hummed and checked on the food.

Fixing the table was the last thing on his checklist, he smiled at his work and sat down on the couch and listened to some music as he waited for Charlie to get there, he tapped his foot quickly, maybe he was nervous after all. It was the first time since college that he had a guy over his apartment.

[joshhakiminyc-blog]

Quiet Love//Josh&Charlie

Excited was the one word that could describe Josh at the moment. He never really felt that way when it came to Valentines. It wasn’t a day that he ever really thought too much about, mainly because he never had anyone to really celebrate with. His ex wasn’t someone that cared about it and for years he was alone, so it was just another day in the week. But this year was different and he was so happy about that. Josh still couldn’t believe that Charlie had managed to find time to not only spend the night with him but to make it out to LA to see the show. 

The day seemed to go by pretty fast for him. He looked down at his phone to see the time, he had kind of wish that he could have picked Charlie up at the airport but he knew that was not something he could do. So he just waited in the hotel room and kept himself busy. Josh had gone out earlier and picked up a few things for Charlie, his favorite flowers and as corny as it was a little heart box of chocolates. He laid down on the bed and smiled up at the ceiling as he waited.

He sat up when he heard the door start to open and a huge smile moved across his face.

@mrcharlesjackson

[joshhakiminyc-blog]

Sleep Over// Josh and Charlie

Josh hummed softly to himself as he walked towards Charlie’s house. To say he was having a great Friday would be an understatement. He basically skipped his way up to Charlie's door. He couldn’t wait to not only see Charlie but tell him the wonderful news that he had about his job. Life was going so well for him, more then it had ever done before. Josh hadn’t done exactly what he was told to do, he ended up bringing a small bag with a change of clothes and his laptop. He continued humming as he knocked and waited for Charlie to come.

@mrcharlesjackson 

[joshhakiminyc-blog]

Getting to Know You//Charles&Josh

Who: Josh Hakimi and @mrcharlesjackson

Where: A restaurant in the Village

When: Oct 28th, evening

Notes: Josh and Charles go on a first date and get to know each other.

Tiggers: none

Running a hand through his hair Josh let out a huff as he stared at himself in the mirror. His heart was beating fast already and he hadn’t even left his house yet. It had been years since Josh was on a real date. He had become really isolated since his stint in rehab and with his relapse, he was keeping to himself even more. But some reason that was beyond Josh, he agreed to go on a date. Something that surprised him, even more, was that it was with a guy he just met.

He exhaled deeply and grabbed his coat and his keys and made sure that he had his wallet and phone on him before leaving the apartment. He looked down at his phone and let Charles know that he was on his way to the place, giving him the address. The whole subway ride and the three block walk Josh’s brain was battling against itself. Telling him the date would be horrible and that he had to stop thinking that way.

He was so inside his own head that almost missed the restaurant. Josh swallowed hard before walking in and sat down on a couch in the entrance way. Looking himself over again in the window, he smiled at his decision on a simple look of a charcoal gray blazer over a black t-shirt with a pair of dark jeans and vans, nothing super fancy but put together. Folding his hands over his lap, he looked at the ground and waited.

[joshhakiminyc-blog]

EASE MY MIND//JOSH&CHARLIE

WHO: Josh Hakimi and @mrcharlesjackson

WHERE: Charlie’s apartment

WHEN: Thursday, 21 of February 

NOTES: Josh goes over to Charlie’s apartment to check in on him after the TMZ article goes public. 

TIGGERS: None.

JOSH: 

Josh had been pacing around his apartment for a good hour after Charlie didn't respond to his text before grabbing his jacket and leaving his house. He shoved his hands in his pockets as he walked quickly down the busy city streets. Josh wasn't sure if Charlie was home but he was on autopilot at the moment and could only think of about seeing him.  All he cared about was Charlie's well being and how he was doing, which he pretty much figure was not going to be good. His heart was beating so fast as he stood outside of Charlie's apartment. Josh knocked on the door pretty hard "Charlie..." He pulled out his cellphone and texted him 'Babe..please answer the door..'

CHARLIE:

The article was everywhere. Everywhere he looked online, friends were sending it to him, his agent, his manager, even Misha had decided to offer some words on it and Charlie didn’t know what to do. He did know how to make it go away or fix it.  He couldn’t. Everything the article said was true and he couldn’t take it back. Then had come the phone call... his parents calling him to straighten out the rumors. He thought his dad would get the worst in but it was really his mom who had the most to say, calling him slurs that he hadn’t been called before. His dad actually sounded understanding as he tried to calm him mother down. Charlie couldn’t help but break down in tears at his moms words. His dad assuring him to give her some time. It was all fucked.

And now he was avoiding the main one of them all. Josh. He couldn’t face him, he couldn’t show him how upset he was over this. He wasn’t ashamed of him, was he? He didn’t want Josh to think that but there were so many thoughts circling his head. He heard the knock on his door, it rattled him out of his thoughts, he didn’t even think twice when he went to answer it, knowing by his phone who it was. Maybe he didn’t even have to speak. He was at his most vulnerable with Josh right now as he opened the door and threw his arms around the man.

JOSH:

His heart broke the moment Charlie opened the door. Josh could tell he had been crying and he hated that "Oh babe..." Was all Josh had to say as he held onto Charlie. He moved them into the house before he kissed him on the cheek gently. All Josh wanted to do was hold Charlie close and make all of this go away. He hated this, he hated seeing Charlie like this, he was so angry and heartbroken for his boyfriend. Charlie deserved so much better than this. Josh rubbed Charlie's back gently before he slowly pulled away to get a good look at him. He cleared his throat and kissed him gently once more. "What do you need me to do to make you feel better? I know I can not make this go away...But I would like to be able to help you as much as I can...Have you have eaten at all? I can make you food..." Josh wrapped his arms back around Charlie, he was at lost of what to do really. All his instincts were telling him to just hold Charlie, so he did that.

CHARLIE:

Charlie really couldn’t get a word out. He had no clue what to say or what to tell Josh. He felt small, which was weird for him. He pulled away from the other man as he made his way to sit on his couch and curl up into his side, trying to let it all out but more just kept coming.

JOSH: "Babe..." Josh walked over to Charlie and bent down next to the couch and gently brushed his side. He had never really seen Charlie like this before and he was worried. Josh moved over and gave his cheek a little kiss. "Honey, talk to me...Please."

CHARLIE:

Charlie sat up, wiping his face. “What do you want me to say? Huh?” He asked the man. “How am I supposed to come back from this? The only thing I can think of is me publicly dating a woman, and maybe then my mother will talk to me again.” Charlie raised his voice, he didn’t mean to but he was so frustrated and upset. “The network didn’t want me out either. I don’t know what to do, Josh.” He said as his voice cracked again.

JOSH:

Josh sat down on the floor and pulled his legs into his chest. His heart was in his throat, he winced a little when Charlie raised his voice. He swallowed thickly and moved his eyes to the floor. "I think... maybe... the best thing we can do is... end things here..." Josh took a deep breath, he hated this more than anything. "I love you ...more than I have loved anyone really... but I can not be the reason that you are in pain. For you to lose your job..." Josh wiped his face and nibbled at his lip. "I can't be the reason you lose your mom...I can't. I'm not worth that." Josh pushed himself up and moved so he was kneeling in front of Charlie. He placed his hands on Charlie's knees. "You are the best thing that has happened to me... you will always be the best thing to happen to me..." His voice broke a little as his eyes filled with tears.

CHARLIE:

Charlie looked away from the man and shook his head. “It doesn’t matter what we do.” Charlie replied. “The damage is done, I fucked up, I slipped up. I just don’t fucking know where.... I’ve been so fucking careful.” He spoke frustrated as he took a deep breath.

JOSH:

"It's my fault..." He moved his eyes down and exhaled. "I..I was talking to Kitty.. not really thinking about how she might be a person to do this.. I mean who does this..so yeah..it's my fault. Which is more of a reason for me to leave honestly..." Josh moved back to sit on the floor, Josh wiped his face and kept his eyes on the floor as he waited.

CHARLIE:

Charlie furrowed his brows and shook his head. “Wh-What?” He asked in disbelief. “Why would you tell anybody you don’t 100 percent trust? Especially her! She’s story hungry. What a fucking bitch!” He yelled in frustration. He didn’t even know who he was angrier at. He looked down at Josh and shook his head “Get off the floor.” He told him before he got off the couch and headed towards his bedroom.

JOSH:

Josh flinched a little when Charlie yelled, took in a deep breath and was going to try and explain himself. "I...I..She pushed my buttons and I let my guard down... I...I'm sorry.." Josh watched Charlie walk away and he slowly got up and followed him. He stayed quiet and stood in the doorway of Charlie's bedroom with his hands down at his side. Josh wasn't sure how close Charlie wanted him to be. "I'm sorry..." He whispered softly.

CHARLIE:

Charlie paced in his bedroom and looked back at the man. “This is my Life, Josh... how am I supposed to trust you? How? Please tell me, because I driving myself crazy trying to think of a a way to.” He confronted the man who now seemed more upset than he was. “You don’t get to be sad, Josh. You haven’t lost anything....” Charlie began before breaking down in tears again and sitting on his bed.

JOSH:

Josh watched Charlie and stayed quiet. Josh moved over to Charlie and sat down next to him. "You can't. And that's why I'm sad. I'm sad because I hurt you. Because I might lose you. I'm sad for you. This is the last thing I ever wanted to happen." Josh looked over at Charlie "I want to make this better but I can't." He moved his hand over to Charlie's and gently squeezed it. He still wasn't sure where Charlie's boundaries were at the moment with him and as much as he wanted to pull Charlie in and hold him, he didn't want to press his luck.

CHARLIE:

Charlie had no other words. He didn’t know what else to say or do and yes he was angry at Josh but Josh was there for him. He had come to make sure he was okay. He cared about Charlie and that spoke a lot to him. Charlie squeezed his hand and rested his head on his shoulder. “I-I’m really tired.” He spoke softly.

JOSH:

Josh nodded and rubbed Charlie’s side and kissed the side of his face. “Then let's get you to bed. Come on.” Josh gently got up and reached out his hand for Charlie. “ Do you want me to stay with you or should I leave?” He asked softly.

CHARLIE:

Charlie took his hand and stood from the bed, waiting for Josh to pull back the covers for him. He took off his shirt and pants so he wouldn’t feel restricted and crawled into bed, laying his head on the pillows “Stay... please.” He told him as he looked up at the man. JOSH:

“Okay...” Josh smiled a little, he was a little taken back that Charlie wanted to him to stay, but grateful. He ran his hand through Charlie's hair gently before he pulled the covers over him. "Whatever you need from me, just ask." Josh sat on the floor. He wasn't actually sure if Charlie wanted him in the bed with him and he didn't want to do anything without permission from the older man to be safe. "I love you, Charlie..." He whispered as leaned up against the bed.

CHARLIE:

Charlie sighed as he laid in bed. “What are you doing on the floor? Get up here.” He murmured at the younger man. Charlie was more than upset but Josh was the only one that was truly there for him and he couldn’t blame him for speaking about him. He didn’t know.

JOSH:

There were so many thoughts going through Josh's head and none of them were very nice, he was brought out of his mind when Charlie spoke. Josh looked over at him. "I wasn't sure if I was welcome in the bed... I didn't want to assume.." He said in a small voice as he got off the floor and walked over to the other side of the bed. He got in and laid on his back, looking over at Charlie. "I'm sorry.."

CHARLIE:

Charlie turned to face Josh as the man laid in his bed. He sighed and shifted closer to the man, laying his head on the others chest and wrapping his arm around his body. “It’s okay...” he whispered.

JOSH:

Josh took in a deep breath and closed his eyes. "It's not though... Charlie.. I wasn't kidding when I said that I think we should end things... I know it wont fix what happened. But maybe it could help a little. At least with your mom..." Josh looked down at him and "We aren't worth you losing her..." He moved his hand through Charlie's hair.

CHARLIE:

Charlie furrowed his brows and sat up in bed. “Stop that. You really think ending things is going to fix anything? So, what? Me being outed to everyone in the fucking World is for nothing? No. We’re not breaking up...” he said firmly and looked back at the man. “I’ll deal with my family stuff later. We are not breaking up. I love you.” He leaned down to kiss him and lay back down on his chest. He was exhausted and frustrated but he still loved Josh.

JOSH: "I love you too." He said softly and kissed the top of Charlie's head. A part of Josh was really happy to hear that, to hear that even though he fucked up big time, Charlie still wanted him. Maybe their relationship was more then he thought it was. But the part of him that was yelling at him for what he did was a lot louder. He wrapped his arms around Charlie and held him tight hoping that would help quiet the noises.  "Are  you working on Monday?"

CHARLIE: 

Charlie nodded. “Hopefully it won’t be my last.” He mumbled as he closed his eyes. “I love you, okay? Don’t worry.” He tried to assure Josh

JOSH:

Josh opened his eyes and looked down at him. "It wont be." He kissed the mans head again "I'll try not too... can't make promises. Get some sleep." He whispered and gently rubbed Charlie's back.