#pantalone being weirdly nice but also snarky

[sgcairo]

Is there moments/times where dottore feels so lonely? Like times where has the “oh so I am lonely” realization? IF SO PLS SPEAK OF THEM

I can think of one particular instance right off the top of my head, and ironically enough: it's when he's with another person.

Laying in bed with an asleep Pantalone is Dottore Is Sad Hours and you can't tell me otherwise. It's too quiet, and Pantalone's room is just... melancholy if it were a place. It's so soft compared to what Dottore is used to, so laying on a plush mattress while having blankets piled on top of you with just enough to be warm and comfortable- It's a prime time to wind down and for your brain to go absolutely bonkers with overthinking.

In this case, Dottore realizes that he is alone in a brilliant moment of self reflection. He doesn't think about his life much, but in a moment of reminiscing about the past, he realizes that he's been doing it all alone this entire time.

Part of him is jealous that Babytorre gets all of Pantalone's love and support. The other part begs to differ, as his success would've never happened if he hadn't done it his way. He weighs the price over and over again, which only pushes him further into his realization that maybe it would've been different if someone believed in him. Or maybe it would've been worse, because they would've been taken down with him as his weakness.

Of course, this whole thought spirals into an out of control storm, which leads to Dottore rolling over and, for lack of a better word: moping.

"I can hear you thinking from here, Doctor." Oh great, now Pantalone's awake.

"You're disturbed. Tell me about it, it'll keep you awake all night if you don't."

"A bold accusation."

"Not an accusation. A fact. That big brain of yours doesn't know how to calm down."

"...Perhaps it doesn't."

"You're not arguing with me and it's unsettling."

Well, Dottore really doesn't have the energy to argue, but sure. Pantalone can think what he wants, Dottore will not be caved so easily.

"It's called being tired, Regrator. Though your alcohol abuse doesn't seem to know her."

"She started my alcoholism, don't talk to me about being tired. I live in a state of exhaustion."

"That makes two of us."

Blah, blah, these two can literally go on forever, let's skip to the juicy part.

"Do you ever regret it?"

"Regret what?"

"Leaving your family behind."

"I didn't have much of one, so no. My brother made his choice, and I made mine. I have everything I could want in this world, why would I regret it?"

"Sometimes what people say and how they feel are very different things, Regrator."

"I know that full well. I also know that something's bothering you."

"Go back to sleep, it's nothing terribly important."

"Is it now? Then why are you making a sour face?"

"Just tired. Go back to bed, it's nothing."

"Fine, fine. But Zandik..." "Don't call me that."

"Dottore, then. If you do need to talk... I might listen."

That's the closest that Dottore has ever gotten to an I'm here, I believe you.

Oh how he wishes he had it before.