#pandemonium is easy if you lock in

[crumbsispoggers]

ITS THE SINGING TREE REFERENCE FROM THE MONUMENT MYTHOS IM DEAD FRFR

[mortimerc]

𝔄 𝔩𝔬𝔫𝔤𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔣𝔬𝔯 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔴𝔞𝔯𝔪𝔱𝔥 𝔬𝔣 𝔞 𝔠𝔬𝔩𝔡 𝔟𝔩𝔬𝔬𝔡𝔢𝔡 𝔪𝔞𝔫.

ℭ𝔥𝔞𝔭𝔱𝔢𝔯 5

Male - GN Reader x Sebastian Solace

TW : blo0d, t0rture, g0re, obsessive behaviour,

(Note: This might be the last chapter but I might write one last chapter that will be a smut so be warned. I will only write it if you guys want me to. Comment on this post if you want to.)

* ��̍ ˙· 𓆝.° ｡˚𓆛˚｡ °.𓆞 ·˙‧̍ * 𓆝.° ｡˚𓆛˚｡ °.𓆞 ·˙‧̍

The day has come.

Your experiment.

You and Sebastian had been working on an escape plan to get out of this hell. You guys have been planning on this ever since you guys heard of a company called ‘Urbanshade’, the company that was experimenting on Sebastian, transporting him to the ‘Hadal Blacksite’.

The day of the transportation was the same day as you are going to be experimented. And of course, once again you’ll be separated from him again.

Now you and Sebastian are holding each other in your cell, him not wanting you to go, not wanting you to be hurt the same way as he did.

“I don’t want you to go..”

“I have to, and you also need to be ready. Remember our plan?”

“Of course,, but still-“ Sebastian was cut off by a guard opening the cell door, interrupting them. As they walk in, suddenly they forcefully grabs your wrist.

“Hey- what are you?-“

“Let them go!” Sebastian protests

All efforts were in vain as you were dragged out, leaving Sebastian alone in silence soon met with the sound of footsteps that Sebastian knows too well. It was the scientist. His thoughts were interrupted by the cell door opening once again.

“Hello there, mr. Solace.”

Sebastian stays silent and not looking at the scientist.

“I’m sure you know why I’m here. Hope you pack up whatever you need because we’re going now.” He said while signing the guards behind him to cuff Sebastian.

꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦

As Sebastian was slithering alongside the guards, he covers his ears, not wanting to hear the screams that emitted from you, echoing throughout the hallways.

“God..” hot tears trickle down his face.

“You seem to be very close with HR-P (High Rank Prisoner), Z-X. We also call them ‘The Perdition’, and we’re almost done with their document, so tell me more about it.” The scientist questions

“I’m not telling you shit-!”

“Hahah, you’re so easy to rile up. I’ve already know what’s between you two. You two are like two pieces in a pod.”

“Shut up,,”

“Well we’re here. Get in.”

A submarine soon rises to the surface of the water, door opening. The guards pushing Sebastian in.

꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦

As they arrived to the blacksite, they checked the surroundings before exiting the submarine. Sebastian takes that chance to hit the guards, attacking and killing most of them while the scientist runs away in cowardice.

The scientist ran into a lab room and called for a lock down, and this is when all it began. Sebastian releasing all of the experiments and marine discoveries found in the blacksite.

Soon, Sebastian heard from one of the guards before killing him, “EXR-P will come here to retrieve the crystal soon, I’ll prepare everything.”

The crystal? Sebastian did research on the crystal and finds out that it is something that provides power to this place. To a normal human being, that might be fine, but Sebastian is not a normal human being anymore. He’s a creature. A monster. He had to stay here. It’s the only place he can hide away.

Before coming to the blacksite, you and Sebastian planned on meeting here, in his makeshift shop. But you’re not here, not yet. Maybe in a few days?

All Sebastian can do is just wait.

꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦

As the prisoners leaves his shop, Sebastian is left alone in silence, loneliness that he wished you would fill.

But it’s been years. Years since he has seen you. But you promised. You always keep your promises.

His thoughts were soon interrupted when the prisoners from earlier ran into his shop, panting, panicking and shaking.

“Heh what did you do this time? Run into pandemonium? Hmph, incompetent as always.” Sebastian snarked

“N-n-no n-no, not that thing. It was something else.” They said frantically

“Just get to it.”

“Wh-when we encountered it, I think they was mumbling something about being ‘The Perdition’?”

Sebastian’s face turns pale.

“Perdition? Can you tell me what do they look like?”

“Uhm, I can’t tell. I think I saw a shark tail., I-I- think wings?? And their face covered in blood. Long limbs for sure. I can’t remember more, I was too scared”

They both sat in silence until Sebastian broke it

“… I think it’s safe now, get out.”

꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦

As Sebastian roams the hall, he soon smells the stench of blood. Th smell of blood reeks from the other side of that door.

When he opens the door, his eyes landed on horror that people can’t comprehend. The prisoner from earlier dangling on the ceiling, caught up by their guts.

His eyes landed on a person, facing away from him, sitting on an office chair. Their frame looks like he had a shark tail, elongated limbs, ESCA that belonged to an angler fish, and the wings coming from their head making them look like an angelic being.

It all fits the prisoners description.

“We meet again, Sebastian.”

꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦

You find yourself embracing Sebastian in your arms, you both missing each other. A long awaited moment, reunion that you both wished for.

“You came back..” Sebastian says with a content tone in his voice.

“I always keep my promises.”

“Why did it take you so long? What happened?”

“It was not easy for me to get here. With the lockdown, I still had to recover from my surgical experiment.”

Sebastian hugs you tighter, nuzzling his face in the crook of your neck, almost making a purring sound. Being comfortable in your lap “I miss you..” he said while lifting his head, looking into your eyes

“I miss you too..”

You two sit there in silence, and slowly but surely, you both close the gap. After a long and passionate kiss, you both pulls away, panting.

“I’ve always wanted to do that.. for a long time..”

“I love you, Seb..” you said while pressing your forehead against Sebastian’s.

“I love you too, [Nickname]…”

꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦

To be continued..?

[timekeepers-memoir]

He doesn’t remember when it started anymore. His mother must’ve raised him better than that, but the tides of war struck him like a riptide and carried whatever broken shards of his morals far, far away into the soul of the ocean. Where his grandmother wept, he presumed.

After all, he didn’t get all these scars from happy accidents.

No, he got them from wars. Only one. The only he’d ever fight in his life, he assured himself, but a brutal one nonetheless. He remembers stepping down from the ship onto the sands of the bay and hearing people, generals and not, chant his name. ‘Neoptolemus,’ they shouted, ‘son of Achilles.’ It was all a hazy blur. Next thing he knew, he was thrusted into a pandemonium of children’s cries for help, sounds of metal clashing against eachother, young widows adorned with black scarfs, and the rotting smell of corpses in the sunlight.

Before he knew it, all he knew were the sounds of screams and the sharp sting of pain and the curl of his fingers around his spear.

They had talked about the man before, the many-turning, twisting man, full of cunning and guile, a patron to another over cups of ale, of his heroic journey back to Ithaca. He had known about Odysseus before his journey, and he’d state that the king was nothing more than a crow grasping at the bars of its prison until the steel breaks. The man knew how to survive, and no matter how petty it was, Neo had to admit, it was effective.

What he didn’t expect though, was his son to be nothing like him.No, Telemachus wasn’t a tired, battle-hardened general like Odysseus. He was more like a child chasing dreams with a wooden sword. Worse, even. Neo considered him weak, and to be completely honest, his lover’s pettiness was like no other. He himself had retained many, many things from his father. Tele, on the other hand, did not get anything from his father, except the passionate, undying devotion.

And Tele showed it on more than one occasion.

Like this time.

──── ࣪ ִֶָ☾. ────

“Neo? What’s the matter, my love?”

Neo jerked from his spot, snapping his head towards the direction of the sound, “Wha-”

Telemachus was staring at him, that was the first thing he noticed. A frown present on those lips, ── not a good look on his bunny, Neo noted ── shaking his head ever-so-slightly in disappointment. “Have you been mumbling to yourself again? About those scars?”

“Oh come on, Tele, I’m just…” he sighed, knowing he won’t be able to just go ‘shut up’ this time, an easy copout he exploited whenever his lover pointed out his destructive behaviors, “...yeah. Maybe a little.”

Tele’s eyes softened tremendously. It’s almost absurd how much those eyes can change in such a short time. His lover walked closer to him, slowly sitting down, finger quietly gliding along the length of the railing. Neo himself had his arm lazily placed on the railing, head nuzzled comfortably in the inside of his elbow. Tele propped his arm on the marble, head situated on his hand, glancing worriedly at his lover.

“...Your worth isn’t determined by your scars, Neo,” his lover quietly muttered, gently carding a hand through his ginger locks.

“It might as well be,” he scoffed, hitting Tele’s hand away. The other prince quietly hissed, before looking at Neo, deeply hurt, “because after all I’ll still be the son of Achilles. My worth will forever depend on his reputation. Like the moon, stealing light from the sun to shine.”

“Neo, it isn’t like that,” Tele forced himself to breathe, gently taking his lover’s flaccid hand in his, tracing over the back of dark skin with delicate touch, “at least in my heart, you’ll always be someone different, you’ll always be unique. You’ll always be my star, alright?”

Neo found himself smiling.

“...Thanks, Tele,” he leaned forward, arms wrapping around his lover, head neatly snuggled in his bunny’s shoulder. They fit together like two puzzle pieces, one battle-worn and sanded down, and one perfectly pristine, but they were a perfect match nonetheless.

@lemonade-tree7 i take your prompt and i present to you: Neo insecure about his scars because they remind him that he'll never be enough

[cryptidko]

Pressuretober Day 4 - First Death

(link to prompts)

Flash fic, Pressure OC, no warnings.

You know those days when you're like, "this might as well happen"?

(entry under cut) (press for higher quality pic)

The first angler was a scare, the second fueled his paranoia, but by the third they had already become merely an annoying situation.

It got repetitive real fast.

Open door, lights flicker, find locker, wait, hide.

Open door, hear screams, find locker, wait, hide.

Open door, huh look I'm at room 70, lights flicker, find locker, wait, hide.

Open door, lights flicker twice, find locker, hide hide hide fast.

Open door, lights flicker, pssht, this is easy, find locker, wait, hide.

Open door, god this is boring... Find locker, wait hide.

Open door, see Eyefestation, bolt to next door, door 80, fuck off Eyefestation, hear screams, sigh, walk to locker, hide.

Open door, oh damn, door 90 already?

Open door, door 93, I'm so close...

Lights flicker, again? This is so repetitive, find locker, there's no lockers.

Fuck

Fuck fuck fuck.

Travis bolted through the room, the next door being locked behind a keycard, not having time for that he whipped out a code breacher, bought it from that... thing earlier, he couldn't focus on that right now, he could'nt die, not now, not being so close to the crystal.

Click click click,

The code breacher almost jammed for a second, the floor under him begining to shake in anticipation, a low rumble that had become annoying once again putting fear into him.

He swallowed nervously, the hair on the back of his neck standing up.

Click, beep!

The door opened in a swift move, he didnt take any extra time and ran to the first locker he saw, not even checking for a void mass.

Lucky there wasn't any, and he entered the locker just in time, a sigh of relief almost leaving his lips.... but he kept that breath to himself.

There was something off about this angler, something different... new. It didn't just pass through...

It stared right at him through the small openings of the locker, and it slammed onto it, attempting to open it and gnawing at it with it's teeth.

It's eyes were locked onto Travis, he did the same back at it, this was no normal encounter, this was war.

Pandemonium slammed against the locker again and again, eyes focused on the expendable in the locker, fixated on getting him, on getting the little snack inside the metal box.

Travis grabbed anything he could in the locker to keep the doors shut from the inside, in any way he could, palms stuck to the metal box, keeping his eyes on the new threat as well.

It felt like the locker would become his coffin anytime now, the metal cage getting smaller and more deformed with every hit from the damned angler...

But it gave up, swimming away in defeat, as Travis had somehow managed to out last the thing.

What felt like hours of fighting ended up in less than a minute, his heart settling at the end of his throat, it's desperate beat pushing, rushing blood to every part of his body, loudly overwhelming his hearing, giving him a terrible headache.

He groaned, but couldn't help to let a smile tug at the corners of his lips.

As soon as he could he was getting out the locker, now fully smiling, his lungs giving a big sigh of relief, hand still grappling the handle of the locker door, coughing, panting for air, his vision unblurring slowly.

What a fucking thing that was. He told himself cracking a small laugh, running his hand though his forehead and then hair, feeling the sweat on his skin. He looked around the room quickly, knowing couldn't stay in this place for too long, his heart almost threatening to stop at any moment, but he wouldn't let it do that, not before the crystal.

Still shaking he moved on to door 95, no lockers in sight, but he didn't realize that in at first, his vision still blurry and the sound of his own body being too loud to focus on anything, too loud to hear the faint screaming coming towards him as he approached door 96.

By the time his breathing finally steadied, he was right in front of the door, adrenaline still pumping through his veins.

Looking back at how fast everything had happened, mixed with his state of pure thrill, he had somehow managed to concoct the thought that pandemonium had been easy! After all he survived that thing on his first try! He smiled proudly at himself, a smirk adorning his bloody lips.

After getting done with his small moment of reckless pride, he turned around to give the room a last look, only then hearing the screams getting closer...

closer...

closer,

Closer.

"Well, fuck."

His smile dropped, being quickly replaced by a look you'd only see in the office, looking at an imaginary camera in sheer disappointment, not even anger, skipping right through the stages of grief onto acceptance.

And pinky passed right through him... So close to the sun was Icarus, but his cocky attitude left him to fall right to his death.

[five-crows-in-a-trenchcoat]

hi silver sorry to bother you but have you defeated pressure yet? do you have any advice im struggling ( ＞Д＜；)

I have defeated pressure! last time I beat it was my 6th win; and I was inconsolably mad because I was aiming for a damageless run and then misclicked a single cable at the very end of the game (so finished w 95 health) so, here are my ‘pro’ gamer tips:

Don’t use light sources unless it’s a blacklight. It leaves you both at risk of squiddles attacks, and makes you dependent on light sources in general. I’ve legitimately ONLY been attacked by squiddles when I wanted to get the document on it. Turn your brightness up instead

Pay attention to the sounds more than your sight. Each version of the angler + pandemonium and a60 all have different sounds and gimmicks. It’s important to be able to distinguish which is which. Here’s my guide for the monsters:

Anglers/rush-based monsters

Regular angler: regular scream, regular rush time. pretty basic stuff. Wait until you hear its actual high pitched scream before getting in a locker.

Pinkie (pink. duh): doesn’t flick the lights, but scream is a higher pitch and can be heard from much further away. try not to panic, but it’s important to keep an ear out always.

Blitz (black): extremely fast, but the lights flicker twice. Beeline to the nearest locker and get in pretty much as soon as you reach it.

Chainsmoker (green one): very, very slow, and sounds a little like a single-toned scream with rattling chains. You have to wait until it’s practically on top of you to get into a locker bc it forces you out of the locker much faster than usual.

Froger (orange): angry kinda scream. Like william afton it comes back. Upon the first rush, wait until it doubles back, then get out of the locker but stay next to it. It will come back again. Get back in the locker. After that it should be gone.

Pandemonium: it kinda ‘sings’ ig, it’s not a regular scream. Slower than most of the angler variants but not quite as slow as chainsmoker. If you struggle with its minigame, side rooms, vents under the floor, or making your window smaller are your new best friend. These work for the other anglers too, of course.

A-60: kinda has this faint ‘pixely’ scream, very easy to miss. Get to a locker or side room. When its message appears you’ve got like, 4 seconds? To get out of sight. It’s probably the hardest to see coming which is why it’s the rarest.

Other monsters

Void mass: also pretty easy. Makes a bubbling sound when you’re nearby, has a puddle underneath it, and also, the obvious glowing eyes. When you approach a locker, look up through the slots to check if it’s empty. I recommend multiplayer bc someone can still get you out.

Wall dwellers: controversial opinion but they’re also pretty easy. If you do struggle with them you can turn around midway through each room, but they have audible squelchy footsteps and you can hear them peeling out of the wall as well. If you’re really paying attention you can even see them in the walls while you’re passing through, they have these weird stretch marks to outline them. Theres this one room especially with that weird green and black mould that you can see a fantastic example of. Also benefits with multiplayer bc there’s more eyes to scare it off. Same with squiddles, I’ve only died to them when I wanted the documents.

Eyefestation: often in an eyefestation room there’s a short period where you can see a little flash of it, or the door locking behind you if it’s a gauntlet. Run as far as you can in that window. Other than that just beeline for the door the best you can.

Good people: there’s the sparks, of course, but press your ear to the wall next to it and listen for growling. If you hear water or some other ambiance like the fans, it means it’s safe, however, so not all noise is bad. In a dark room or after an angler, the real door’s lights will also be out while the fakes remain lit up.

Turrets: “If you see me, no u didn’t :<“ wait to check their patterns before anything else. Hide where you can of course, and try to follow its sweep where you can. And flip the lever to disable them if you can, of course. Even if pai insults you, better to be berated by your worstie than to be dead.

Searchlights: do not rush it. In the warehouse, follow after it to give you more time. You can hide underneath piles of boxes, the forklifts and in shipping containers (as well as the lockers). In the final searchlights encounter, go for the most risky cables FIRST and the underground ones LAST. Go underground as few times as possible, as it makes it more dangerous by cutting off a lot of your view. Trying to go for the one right in the middle with three of them right on top of you is rough. This usually saves you with the remaining cables being in safer places the further you go to cancel out the difficulty as best as possible. In the final manoeuvre, do NOT hide in the submarine as it makes it even riskier by cutting off your peripheral. Watch the light patterns and then go for it. Wait in the middle underneath it bc it only kills you if you go in the actual light. Always works for me. Another controversial opinion but the warehouse is harder than the final fight.

Sebastian: don’t flashbang or climb on him. it’s rude. Also, make sure he’s happy when you leave. I don’t think there’s any real change but I find its bad luck to leave when he’s pissed at you. Buy his medkit and code breaker if you can.

Other dangers

The Ridge: there’ll be an angler or pandemonium in almost every room. Open the door to the next room and then wait by a locker in the previous one until the threat has passed. Do not panic, and BE PATIENT. Sometimes it takes a while when it passes through. Also, any good people will have light spilling out from under the door. With the music, wait for the angler to leave and then kinda just avoid it or speed through it as best you can. If you’ve got code breakers, save them for either the ridge (or paranoia’s box if you manage to come across it.) As long as you stay careful and make sure you know where the lockers are, it’s not as daunting as it may seem.

Parasites: just stay in the light, you’ll be fine. It’s pretty forgiving

Hazards: just avoid them. Don’t jump in holes you can’t see the bottom of. Dont walk into the fire. Don’t swim in lava. Don’t touch the electrified water, there’s a way to disable it/go around it. Wait for the right time between the fans. Ask @revenyance bc they’re an expert on how not to do that last part.

The pipe puzzle: try to go from the end rather than just the start.

Vent/pipe maze: always take a left turn and eventually you’ll find your way out.

major, all-round tip summary:

-keep sound high and preferably play with headphones. Turn on deaf mode if you have hearing issues.

-fuck light sources, I hate those guys. Go max brightness instead.

-try try and try again. You’re never a bad gamer so long as you’re having fun and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise :>

-try to keep at least two code breakers with you until the end for paranoia’s box or the ridge

-if you’re still learning the ropes, play multiplayer or with your friends! If you die first it’s still good experience seeing them and getting practice for further rooms. Also helps with some of the monsters in general.

Hope all of this is helpful! (Sorry that its a bit wordy) 6.:}

[pleb-the-original]

Day 3: Construct

(ok so I kinda didn't want to do another a- monster but the entry just intrigued me too much.) Alright welcome to Agrippa duty. How bad did ya fuck up? Don't play coy, you had to fuck something up to end up down here. Ah, there it is. Yeah, I can see why they sent you down here. Anyways, this is your orientation as a new employee working for the care and keeping of the Elders' agrippas. What is an agrippa you may ask? Well, have ya heard of the Liber Primus? Big magic book with a human soul inside? Think of that, but a demon soul instead. Basically a long long time ago back when the humans up in Europe were in castle times, a bunch of priests managed to capture some demons and stuffed them into books. You'd think this would've been an issue, since, ya know. Humans stuffing us into books. But instead of doing something actually helpful with the potential crisis on our hands, the Elders decided they wanted in too. Now soul manipulation back then wasn't as refined as it is today, especially dealing with hellfire remnants. Research hadn't gone too far into figuring out the specifics in using hellfire remnants to form a soulfire with only a few successes such as that cat gal. But the Elders tried anyways. They plucked a handful of flames from a couple fires, placed them between the pages of a book and closed it shut. No I am not joking that is actually how they did it. The worst part was that it worked. I could go on about intention powering magic and the Elders heightened capabilities but who gives a shit about that? Not the Elders after having new toys to play with. They basically used the agrippas like journals, documenting their sacred knowledge inside. Some of them actually did useful things with their agrippas like collecting research notes. But some of the others one just wrote whatever the home was on their mind. Before you ask, the only one that didn't participate was Dantalion. I'm surprised he actually didn't say anything considering everyone was ripping him off. Maybe he knew what was to come. Because yeah, turns out stuffing an entire demon into a confined prison and feeding it untold wisdom does in fact lead to bad things happening. The agrippas got hungrier for knowledge. They soon became feral and started eating anything with information they could find. They even managed to trap normal demons within their pages by shutting them inside. It was mayhem! Once the Elders got their agrippas together, they locked 'em away down in the deepest bowels of Pandemonium so no one ever has to learn about one of the many times they fucked up. Oh yes this isn't the only incident, trust me. Working down here, you get to learn a lot about their dirty laundry. You can't ever let them know of course but trust me, you'll learn a lot. As for what we actually do, we just do rounds to make sure the locks are stable and the books are complacent. If they do get rowdy, you just gotta swing on by a booth to find a book to read to them. I am not kidding. Does this face look like it kids? No? Good. We do get assigned specific agrippas to deal with just in case they get out. And you gotttttttt……Vassago's. Eh, not bad. His gets a little testy sometimes but it ain't too bad. They must've gone easy on you. Yes, this is going easy. Trust me, things could be a lot worse. You could have gotten Andras'. I know right? If you do see any of the guys working with that one, just give them a hug. Or a pat on the back. Or anything really. Just don't make any sudden movements around them. Or the agrippa itself. Actually just stay as far away as possible at all times. You can tell which one it is by the caution tape…and the acid stains…and the paint. But I don't think things'll too bad for you. I mean you're only assigned down here for a couple months. Just make sure when you get outta here not to do anything to make them wanna send you back. I hate it when I get repeats.

[sciencestyled]

Chaos, Mischief, and the Fine Art of Utter Pandemonium

There I was, minding my own business (yes, really), flipping through Midgardian channels with no small measure of delight. Humans, it seems, have mastered the art of befuddlement, spinning endless tales of order and control. They think they can tidy up the entire cosmos with mere charts and timetables, as if they’re locking away their laundry. Yet they fail to grasp that, much like me, the universe loves nothing more than a bit of havoc. And so, what do I find? An old bearded scientist droning on about “order in the universe.” I nearly choked on my ambrosial mead.

Naturally, I’m compelled to intervene. The problem was clear: humanity needed a reminder that the cosmos thrives on unpredictability. No better messenger than yours truly, Loki, God of Mischief, Prince of Pandemonium, Sultan of Surprises. But how? I needed a way to worm my way into every mortal’s smartphone, TV, and, dare I say, podcast queue.

It came to me in a flash. I'd orchestrate a spectacle on the very concept humans fear most: chaos. Of course, I wouldn’t simply scare them off with a crash course in mayhem (too easy); I’d play the wise teacher, the sage of… “Chaos Theory.” A bit of irony, don't you think? Me, explaining “the rules” of something that supposedly has none? Perfect. A sprinkle of Newton, a dash of quantum mumbo-jumbo, and, for the pièce de résistance, a deep-dive into that thing they call the “Butterfly Effect.” Oh, I could practically hear the mortals gasping! Just one measly butterfly flapping its wings in some corner of Midgard, and—boom!—your weather forecast’s up in flames!

To get a feel for the human reaction, I tried it out on a few Asgardian folks. Thor, bless his heart, was baffled. "Why would anyone want to listen to you talk about tiny creatures flapping about and weather disasters, Loki?" he asked, scratching his hammer-wielding head. But I saw it in his eyes—the curiosity, the uncertainty. He’ll never admit it, but Thor’s as clueless as a squirrel in a whirlwind when it comes to concepts that don’t involve brute force. If I could get him perplexed, Midgardians wouldn’t stand a chance.

It didn’t take long for the idea to spiral out of control. I soon realized I’d need some visuals. And a human narrator, too. No offense to my velvety voice, but my true visage can be a bit…distracting, and I needed people to actually listen. So, I hunted down a mortal who could manage this without screaming or falling over. Then I set to work.

A little here, a little there—I threw in some math formulas, the kind that makes Midgardians’ eyes glaze over, and a few classic examples of utter chaos. I even sprinkled in bits about stock markets and weather patterns, just to drive home that everything humans cling to is as stable as a house of cards in a gust. It was going to be a symphony—ahem—a true display of unpredictability’s charm.

At last, my masterpiece was ready. And now, it waits in the mysterious web called “the internet,” a place mortals approach with reverence and bafflement alike. Once they hit “play,” they’ll find themselves teetering at the edge of comprehension, wondering if that cup of coffee they spilled this morning could one day cause a typhoon in Tokyo.

Chaos, you see, is not just a theory. It’s a way of life.