#pallegina x watcher

[herearedragons]

Fire & Feathers

@galesdove FRIENDLY FIRE! I heard "godlike Watcher who romances Pallegina" and knew I only had one choice here.

(going to add the sketch under the cut, because I really like how Pallegina looked before I did the lineart)

[nonopiimagines]

heart-chime

f!watcher x pallegina

---

They're closer than they've been in a long time. Pallegina forgot what it was like to be around her. Magnetic, comfortable, soothing, she had a way with people, with knowing what they wanted, what they needed, and giving it to them, propping them up and keeping them whole. Pallegina was no exception.

But despite their closeness in the Dyrwood, the time they spent apart changed things. And it scared her. The archipelago may have been the watcher’s birthplace but she never thought she would ever see her in Neketaka. So when she saw her, she made her quickest excuse to get away.

But there was no getting away now. They were on her ship, in her captain's quarters, sailing to find her oldest friend and mentor, and she felt the meaning of that in her throat.

It would be easy to cry now, if she could.

The watcher scoots closer to her on the bed, her warm hand coming to rest on her cheek, her fingertips just brushing the bottoms of her feathers. "You're important to me, Pallegina."

She feels the birds in her heart chitter away and she needs to be sure, because she's never felt this before, she has nothing to compare it to. She needs to know. "Be straightforward with me," she says without a waver in her voice. Her hand closes around the watchers as she awaits an answer, pressing the other woman's palm flat against her cheek so she could feel the searing reminder of affection.

"Okay," she smiles, her face moving closer and closer, closing the distance. "I want to be near you always, I want you by my side, I want to kiss you."

"Then do it." Pallegina isn't even sure that she feels the same devotion that those few words seemed to hold, but she wants to find out. She wants to match her, blow for blow, and see how they both turn out on the other side.

She closes her eyes and waits until she feels the soft press of lips on her own. She doesn't know to reciprocate, but the watcher isn't perturbed. She slowly moves up her face, kissing her cheeks and brow, her chin and her neck, where skin becomes feathers and feathers become skin. When the watcher returns to her lips, Pallegina doesn't let her escape her grasp again, she pushes forward to meet her in the middle.

—

She could not believe what was happening. She fought so hard, her sword fiery and ruthless as she pivoted between different members of the crew. Other godlikes, just like her. People who suffered like her. There's not enough of them to make a difference, but how many lives did a pirate crew of godlikes change? How many did they save from certain harm? How could she so easily tear down a community that was her own? And small enough to fit in the palm of her hand?

But Giacolo only wanted to help. Sweet, tireless Giacolo. Now his soul begins its journey back to the wheel. And Pallegina is left to witness and remember.

She begins to walk to his body, it's not like she's never seen a dead body before. But the familiarity of it, the finality of it, hits her hard. The watcher stands quietly beside her, all she wants to do is turn and push her face into her neck. To let the tears flow unhindered, to be held while she breaks apart for just a moment, only to be rebuilt again stronger than before.

But everyone else is there. She takes a deep breath and turns away. "Let's go," she croaks out.

—

Pallegina manages to keep it inside herself until they leave Dunnage, despite its attempts to flitter out of her with each deep breath, shaking and sharp. She collapses on the watcher’s bed in the captain’s quarters, trying not to think of Giacolo’s face when they arrived, the hope she saw in his eyes. It hurts so badly, it burns in her throat and behind her eyes and she keeps rubbing her face, wanting the feelings to leave her behind.

She sheds her armor haphazardly and curls up close to the wall, screwing her eyes shut. If she could just sleep, she wouldn’t feel like this anymore. She wouldn’t feel like such a failure.

It’s not long before night falls and the room is pitch black. Pallegina’s keen ears pick up the watcher’s footsteps before she enters, the light of candle glowing softly against the walls. The bed dips and she has to bite back the urge to push the other woman away, to deny her the satisfaction of seeing her vulnerable like this.

“I brought you some food,” she whispers, her warm fingers trace behind her ear and down her neck and the tenderness almost drowns her, battering against the walls that hold everything in and keep the rest out.

When Pallegina doesn’t move, the watcher tries again. She sets the plate aside and lays down behind her, scooping her up in her arms and pulling her close. “Is this okay?” What is she supposed to say to that? She doesn’t know. Is it okay? She’s grieved on her own, she always has, what’s the point of sharing it with someone else? Will it make it easier? Will it make it harder? She’s too tired to keep asking questions. So she just pulls the watcher’s hands from her waist and up to her chest, covering them with her own.

They lay like that for a while while Pallegina focuses on her breathing and keeping her mind blessedly blank. She focuses on the way her knees feel against the rough boards that make the ship walls, she focuses on the way her face smushes against the linen pillow, and she focuses on the way her back presses against the watcher and how she could feel her breathing too.

“After you left,” the watcher says into her neck, removing her hand from Pallegina’s. “I collected Giacolo’s research and I found this in his things.” Her palm returns in front of her face, holding a pendant on a silver chain. “I thought you’d want to have it.”

Oh. Pallegina finally cracks, like a dam bursting with spring run-off. She grabs the pendant and clutches it against her forehead as sobs wrack her body. Something to remember him by. She saw his face and he thought she could save him. But she couldn't. Not even with the watcher by her side. She's never cried so much before. She never felt like tears did much of anything, but this right now felt like agony. And maybe she's so used to her own loss and tragedy, that witnessing someone else's, someone she admired and even loved, was too much. Giacolo didn't deserve this. But did she?

The watcher holds her until she's quiet again, the exhaustion catching up to her, making sleep finally, mercifully attainable.

[bragganhyl]

64 prompt ask: Snow being shoved down the back of your coat

Thank you, Anon, here is a quick Aloth x Watcher something something, that takes place during WM part 1.

Word count: about 1230 words.

Night has fallen on the Russetwood. Or it may as well have, as far as Aloth was concerned. All that time he has spent in the Dyrwood and yet it still had corners that threw him off balance, whether that meant being used to the weather, the seasons or simply time itself. Regardless, it's been an exhausting day and now he was sitting on a trunk by the campfire, focusing on whatever light and warmth it had to offer, not really listening to the sounds of the camp or the chatter of the companions around him.

Look behind you!

Iselmyr's warning came late, just as Aloth felt a light tug at the neck of his coat, followed immediately by the feeling of biting cold against the back of his neck. Every fiber in his body tensed up and he gasped, inhaling deeply of the chilling air and the thick smoke of the fire ahead of him.

'Fye, ye ass-nibbling maggot!' Iselmyr shrieked in his voice as she stood up in his body, coughing and turning back, only to lock gazes with Edér, who stared wide-eyed at the reaction. Then a hearty laugh bubbled up from the farmer and he turned to run off.

Only for him to get hit in the face by a snowball.

'You want a snow fight?' The Watcher's melodious voice drowned out everything else in Aloth's ears. A mischievous grin brightened her face as she picked up some snow. 'You'll get a snow fight.'

'You're gonna regret saying that,' Edér snickered as he reached towards the ground, only to get a pile of snow unleashed on him from the thin air above him. The veteran collapsed under the sudden weight, and cursed into the snow as his face got buried in it. He stood up a moment later, with surprisingly little difficulty just as another pile appeared above him. 'Aw, this ain't fair...' he groaned but his voice got muffled by the pile crashing down on him, leaving only Hiravias' laughter filling the air.

'Per complanca, could you entertain yourselves in a way that doesn't attract every night predator in these woods?' Pallegina approached the druid. But it was Maneha who gave her an answer. Which took the form of a snowball that hit her right in the chest, burying the five suns on her armor. The paladin gasped at her, feigning offense, then shook her head in disappointment but with a faint smile hiding in the corners of her lips. She muttered some Vailian curses as she gathered some snow and joined the fray.

Soon the camp was alive with the sounds of laughter and cold, playful assaults being launched. Aloth couldn't help but smile as he looked on, slowly overcoming his initial shock but still shivering. It took him a moment to notice: the Watcher wasn't playing. She stood a step away from the others, still holding on to a snowball. But Gaura's gaze was fixed on the wizard. She watched him, while her impish smile faded then she let the snow slip from her grasp and made her way to Aloth.

'Are you alright?' She asked, a look of concern now clearly visible on her face. 'I could hear your teeth clattering from way over there,' she inclined her head towards the spot she was standing at. The sound of their companions' play fight seemed overwhelmingly loud even from where Aloth was standing. 'If you want, you can have my coat,' Gaura continued, as a strange ripple ran through her fiery hair, that she hastily smoothed down. 'We're roughly the same height, it should fit, I think.'

Iselmyr stirred within Aloth. The feeling of her intense encouragement and their shared frustration was about to overcome him.

'That would be lovely,' he blurted out, trying to calm both himself and her. A moment later he processed the words he used, however, which only got the heat rising in his cheeks. 'I mean, it... it's very considerate of you to offer,' he let out a short sigh and hoped it didn't betray his relief. 'Thank you,' he added hastily.

Gaura blinked at him, surprised at his reaction, then a soft smile appeared on her face, that was rendered even gentler by flames slowly dancing around her face. She undid her coat a moment later, which snapped Aloth out of his musings. He quickly took off his now soaked coat, cringing at the cold air biting into his skin, then exchanged it for the Watcher's. He slipped into it with ease, the scent of her skin filling his nostrils.

The lass smells like a whole church.

Aloth agreed, to a degree. Iselmyr felt tense in the back of his skull, uncomfortable, clearly associating the smell with the Leaden Key. And it was true, that they inducted their gatherings like sermons, but Aloth didn't even think of them until she did. The coat just smelled like... Its owner.

'It's just incense,' he whispered as he wrapped the coat around himself tighter.

'Come again?' Gaura cocked her head at his comment.

'Iselmyr just noted that... you smell a bit like incense.'

'She's not the first to say that,' the Watcher shrugged with a smile, which guided Aloth's attention to her shoulders. Those beautiful, sculpted...

'Are you not going to put on the coat?' The wizard asked when he noticed that she stood there with only her sleeveless shirt on, lightly holding his coat against her chest.

'I don't feel cold the same way as most kith,' she waved off the question.

'Still...' Aloth wasn't quite sure what to say. The only thing on his mind was an image of him holding her close, wrapping her coat around both of them. A strange feeling welled up in him. He imagined it as Iselmyr rolling her eyes at him.

Effigy's nethers, she looks about as smitten with ye, as ye're with her.

Nonsense, Aloth thought. Gaura was just... like that: a little bit in love with everyone she met. Until they proved themselves unworthy of her love, that is. It would be very arrogant of him to think she'd feel any differently about him. It was a notion that was both comforting and terrifying.

Iselmyr didn't feel convinced. Aloth wasn't entirely convinced either. Deep down there was a part of him that couldn't help but... hope. For what, he didn't really know. The longer he thought on the answer, the longer the list got.

'You should keep yourself warm,' he said eventually. With a quick motion of his hand, he conjured a small flame and reached it out towards her. Gaura's eyes widened then a sweet and... fond laugh burst up from her. It was indeed foolish of the wizard to think he could outmatch the fire placed in her by a god. And yet... he felt there were a lot of foolish things he was willing to - at least - consider trying for her.

'Thank you, Aloth. That's very sweet of you,' the Watcher smiled at him. Then she moved past the wizard, sat down by the campfire and patted the spot beside her.

Aloth sat down, close enough to the Watcher for his shoulder to brush against hers. Obviously, he did it to keep his flame close to her. Evidently, Gaura didn't move away so she could stay close to the heat of his magic. The night was strangely warm and comfortable.

[adraveins]

let’s discuss the fact that Pallegina having a close enough relationship with the Watcher prevents a world state in which she is close enough with the Ducess Spirento to make the husband jealous

[babineni]

Rings - part 2

(Part 1 here)

'Godsdammit, come off,' Gaura mumbled to herself as she tried to pull off a ring from her finger. She was staying at the Gréf's Rest with her company. Aloth and Kana left to warm up by the hearth, while she along with Hiravias and Pallegina took a table and waited for Edér to bring them some refreshments. That is when the druid glimpsed the Ring of Wonder on Gaura's hand. It was a tiny sapling, taking the shape of jewelry that she bought from a Vailian merchant back in Defiance Bay a few weeks before. However the merchant failed to mention that the ring was Glanfathan and as much as the Watcher grew to like the ring during that time, once Hiravias revealed its origins, it didn't feel right to keep it.

'Eir Glanfath and the Republics have been trade partners for quite some time now,' Pallegina explained. 'I assure you, if our merchant got hold of your products, it has been through fair trade.'

'Sorry, Pallegina, but I'm staying skeptical,' Hiravias retorted. 'You don't know our druidic orders like I do, and that ring looks like something the Ovates make.' He scoffed. 'Though come to think of it, they might've just handed it to your people to show off. They've always been snobbish.'

'It's fine, Pallegina,' Gaura said as she continued to struggle with the ring. 'If it's Glanfathan, Hiravias should have it. Fairly traded or no.'

'I appreciate that,' the druid answered, his lips curling to an amused smirk. 'Good luck trying to pry that thing off without losing a finger, though.'

The Watcher froze clutching her finger. She stared wide-eyed at him.

'What's that supposed to mean?'

'Rings of Wonder are made of living wood,' Hiravias explained. 'They're enchanted so they fit the hand of their wearer and eventually they bind to their flesh,' he crossed his arms and leaned back in his seat. 'Bet, the merchant didn't mention that in his sales pitch.'

Gaura returned the grin albeit in a forced and pained way. 'No, he did not,' she said, gritting her teeth and turned her attention to Pallegina, who pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration.

'Merla,' she grumbled under her breath, 'I suppose, I'll have a lengthy chat with that postenago.'

'Who's a postenago?' Edér showed up and handed a pint of ale to each of them. He sat down beside the Watcher close enough for her fire to warm him.

'Edér, help,' Gaura didn't bother to answer and showed him her hand with the ring stuck on it instead. 'I can't get this thing off.'

The farmer squinted at the ring. 'Huh, it's squeezing your hand real tight,' he took her hand and pulled at the wooden band gently first, then harder and harder until he nearly pulled her finger out of its place, but the ring didn't budge. 'Try using your mouth,' he said after he stopped trying.

'My mouth?' The Watcher blinked at him in confusion.

'Yeah, your mouth. Like...' Edér was about to lift her hand to his lips when he stopped to ask: 'Can I try?'

Gaura shrugged. 'I guess, why not?'

Edér took her finger in his mouth as a response. The Watcher's heart fluttered when she felt his tongue against her skin and his teeth closing around the ring. He tugged at it once, twice and on the third try the ring gave away and slipped right off Gaura's slickened finger. Edér dropped the ring in his palm and was about to offer it to her before he remembered to wipe it on his shirt sleeve. Then he offered it again with a warm half-smile, but Gaura was still only able to stare at him, stunned.

'Hiravias,' the Watcher's voice was hoarse as she called him once the shock wore off, 'if you'd like...' She gestured at the ring resting on the veteran's palm.

'Much obliged,' the druid reached across the table and took the round sapling. 'If you guys don't mind, I'll go see what the wilds around this place have to offer,' he winked with his good eye at the Watcher. 'Have fun you two.'

'If you excuse me, as well,' Pallegina's golden eyes flickered between Edér and the Watcher for a moment and in the dim light, Gaura could've sworn she was blushing, 'I should check what Kana and Aloth are up to.' She grabbed her pint and left for the hearth in the middle of the inn.

The Watcher shifted her weight a little uncomfortably and she stared at the ale in front of her, as if she could find something clever to say written in the drink. Edér followed her gaze and broke the silence.

'Innkeeper warned me that the ale might taste funny. It froze and had to be melted again,' he grimaced as he spoke but raised the pint towards the Watcher anyway. 'Cheers to you.'

Gaura lifted her own glass and touched it against Edér's. 'Cheers to you,' she took a sip and pretended that it was the watery ale that calmed her fluttering heart to a comfortable warmth.

[felassanis]

undefined

Final conversation with my two favourite people: Pallegina and Aloth.

Pallegina’s is just so...her. It’s so good, my Watcher is pretty stoic so the fact that neither share that many words is really great and I thought it was really sweet. The way Pallegina reaches out to you and you get to grasp her forearm like the battle-hardened warriors you are. Imagining it just fills me with so much joy and I have mad respect for Pallegina.

Aloth’s is also great just because...Idk, something about having known Aloth since the beginning back in Gilded Vale, all of our talks, fights and shared battles. When we helped him back then with Iselymr, how my Watcher held his hand and he felt safe, to when he confessed he was Leaden Key and expected the watcher to be furious. How they’ve grown together despite their awakenings. Then it was five years apart without any word only to reunite by chance in the Deadfire, and once again they team up just like the old days. And then Aloth and the Watcher have a romantic relationship, because there’s no one either of them respect more than each other. And...bro, it’s so adorable and it’s such a fantasy trope to kiss your lover before a battle but I LOVE IT. Aloth talking to us is so reminiscent of the original game. Love it.

[weakzen]

An original character you’d like to know more about for @pillarspromptsweekly [N23]

“And don’t think I wasn’t glad to hear that—really, I was,” Aloth hastened to clarify. “But…” He turned away, and started picking at a loose flake of varnish on the bar’s surface.

“But?” Demetria asked, as she tried unsuccessfully to move her face back into his line of sight.

“Well,” Aloth said, and he lowered his voice, still staring awkwardly at the bar. “In our time travelling together, to speak candidly, I have seen you kill people for less.”

Wherever Demetria thought this was going, it certainly wasn’t in that direction. “You’re afraid I’m going to kill you?” She’d never been a good one for concealing her emotions, and her voice raised slightly in indignation. A few people nearby turned to look over at them, and Demetria stared back until they looked away in shame

Godlike gals are seriously my weakness. Godlike gals who are bold and restless and can’t stand abuses of power? Yes, please. I’d love to read more about Demetria (and her relationship with Aloth!) <3<3<3

[less-than-hash]

Okay, this may be a silly question, but I was wondering was there any reasoning for Serafen turning down advances from godlike watcher? I just found it surprising because I don’t think we get any other indication that he finds godlikes off-putting, or that he is particularly superstitious when it comes to them.

Honestly, this was something I was really iffy about including, though it was my idea, and one I ended up championing through ship - I bear sole responsibility for it. Were I working on the game today, I probably would have cut it in favor of something background-specific (a lack of interest in aristocrats, for example, bordering on resentment).

It was important to me to have SOME preference for him, and that’s what made the most sense to me at the time. There were a few reasons for this: 

1) It helped illustrate the rarity of and discomfort towards godlikes that exists in the world, doing so in a way that was specific to the player.

2) It addressed a question I’d often wondered, which was ‘do some people in Eora fear intimacy with people whose heads are on fire?’ The answer being, yeah, sometimes.

3) It helped clarify that Serafen’s adoration of Pallegina is not rooted in attraction. He finds her amazing, respects her opinions (sometimes), and seeks her approval, but he doesn’t want to hook up with her. 4) It was another flaw, a bit of inconsistency and hypocrisy within his character. I felt that made him more three-dimensional, more interesting. I think it’s pretty clear that this is a foible about sexuality specifically. He has nothing against godlikes as a whole in any other context. (The godlike companions are likely his favorite members of the party.)

Well, I say that, but it wouldn’t surprise me if there’s some line somewhere where he expresses concern about fire godlikes aboard a ship.

So why would I reconsider it now?

First you’ll note that points 1 and 2 aren’t about Serafen. They’re not really rooted in his background, but in larger cultural concerns. That’s not bad, necessarily - people are strongly influenced by the culture around them - but one of Serafen’s defining traits is how much more he’s influenced by a shipboard life than the cultural norms of land-dwellers. 

Second, if I recall correctly, I gave godlike players the option to call Serafen out and talk him into sleeping with them, which was something I was always a bit iffy about. Calling out someone for prejudice and walking them out of it is good. Pressuring someone into engaging in a sexual activity they’re not interested in is... not. I think that rooting Serafen’s prejudice in actual physical differences lands in a weird, difficult-to-thread space between those things, and I’m not perfectly happy with how I did so. 

Finally, my feelings are mixed about prejudice in games. Eora is a world with prejudices (though not usually our world’s prejudices), and certainly prejudices (both in favor of and against) are central to the godlike experience, but to what extent do you (as a developer) direct manifestation of that towards the player, a player who may well experience prejudices in their own day to day? (Serafen’s essentially a person who says they respect you and seems super nice, only to blow off a romantic advance because they’re “just not attracted to X people.”) At the same time, there’s a fantasy in talking Serafen into expanding his horizons. 

Anyhoo, we’re always learning.

Hope that answered your question.

<3 <3 <#

[silvanils]

001, Pillars of Eternity (or what you've seen of it so far)?

Please?

001 | Send me a fandom and I will tell you my:

You are going to see a pattern here...

Favorite character: Aloth (but Eder is a VERY close runner-up.)

Least Favorite character: Durance

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): Aloth x Watcher, Eder x Watcher, uh... maybe a OT3 with all of them as well? I don’t really ship other things yet...

Character I find most attractive: Aloth

Character I would marry: Aloth

Character I would be best friends with: Aloth, Eder, or Kana~

a random thought: I can’t wait to finish these games so I can actually dive into fic for them, haha...

An unpopular opinion: Eder should’ve been romanceable... (The fact that he isn’t IS one of the small spoilers I have stumbled on. I was going to romance Aloth ANYWAY but this still makes me sad...)

My Canon OTP: Does Aloth x Watcher count...?

My Non-canon OTP: The Watcher x Peace of Mind

Most Badass Character: Iselmyr. Okay in all seriousness though - most of the main crew qualify, but I give bonus points to Aloth, Eder, Pallegina, and Sagani.

Most Epic Villain: Hm... I don’t think I’ve officially met the “big bad” yet, but I have a feeling he’ll qualify. As of right now, it’s basically a tie between Lord Raedric and Lord Gathbin. I’ve gotten a kick out of the “property dispute” series of quests, that’s for sure, but Raedric had a bit more dramatic flair.

Pairing I am not a fan of: I don’t think there is one. People don’t ship Durance with anyone, right?

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): Durance and the Grieving Mother both don’t quite sit right with me, but I can SEE where they had potential to be better characters. So, those two.

Favourite Friendship: Everyone + the Watcher? But also Aloth and Eder.

Character I most identify with: Aloth

Character I wish I could be: I mean... probably my Watcher, Bryn. The Pillars world is just dark enough for me to say I wouldn’t “wish” to be anyone in it, but if I got to be friends with people like Aloth and Eder, well... yeah.

[stylishanachronism]

3, 4, 9 & 10 for the Deadfire ask meme

3. How about a favourite companion? Or a favourite NPC?

Alys is terribly, terribly fond of Xoti, not romantically but very much in a bossy older sister way (It’s something of a novelty; she’s the youngest of her generation), and she’d rather like to keep her in the family, one way or another; it’s not like she doesn’t have enough cousins and/or nebulous extended family to choose from. Please imagine approximately a million conversations over the course of the game in the temple of Gaun that go something like this:

A: Let me introduce you to --, my cousin/nephew/child of someone I knew when I was a girl, they’re very nice/dependable/clever, I’m sure you’ll get along, and you’d be very cute together. You’re a little young to be married, but-

X: I have to go do priest things somewhere else Right Now, I Do Not need one of my awkward crushes trying to set me up with other people.

4. Was there a companion or an NPC that they just couldn’t stand? What was it about them that irritated your Watcher?

Pretty much all of the VTC staff, Pallegina excluded, but particularly the director, who kept assuming things about her motives and loyalties, and not listening to what she was actually saying. (There is a stark difference between ‘based on what I know about the metaphysical effects of x situation, doing y is the only really sane thing, especially given what went down five years ago, and honestly I’d prefer if you all left well enough alone, thank you’ and ‘yep, those Valians have the right idea, they should eat all the adra that sounds great’ and they insisted on assuming the latter, and it was pretty much the thought that her parents would be upset that kept Alys from slapping whoever was currently talking for her across the face)

9. Which faction did your Watcher side with in the end, if any? Was there a particular reasoning behind their decision?

No one! The Watsonian explanation is that she flung her hands in the air because this is no time for politics and her concern is for the Dyrwood’s future, not the rest of them, if she’s being political which they don’t have time for, and in any case there’s a god trying to, as far as she knows, kill them all right the fuck now, y’all can argue she’s going to do whatever she can.

(The Doylist explanation is that the game crashed every time I tried to side with someone, anyone, and it took like, four patches before going it alone worked either.)

10. Where do you imagine your Watcher’s life takes them after the events of Deadfire?

Back home to Caed Nua, which she rebuilds with the help of the original architect and a ridiculous amount of favors (from her family, mostly), because the keep’s in a strategically important location and she’s still in charge of it, and damnit she just got all those tariffs figured out, that road’s staying open.

[queen-scribbles]

The Road to New Heomar

@pillarspromptsweekly #43: Whodunit. More Adi, because why not? :D

Adela had always loved a good mystery. It was part of what drove her to study languages; each new one was a mystery all its own, and there was always a satisfying payoff.  Equally fun but perhaps more frustrating for those around her, she had a long-standing habit of hunting out birthday presents that had driven her parents to more and more convoluted hiding places.

This love of a good mystery, coupled with more general curiosity, was probably what drew her in to the ciphers’ work room as she left Hadret House, and then more specifically to the pieces of parchment affixed to the wall. Some seemed to be missing persons cases, others leads on a sect of some cult or other. But the one that really caught her eye was the mishmash of notes and leads regarding a caravan that had disappeared en route to New Heomar. Now that looked like a good mystery. Individual people disappeared all the time, for good or ill, and big cities always wound up with at least one cult hiding in the warren of its streets. But for an entire caravan to vanish without a trace, that was impressive, And she was more than a little curious.

she didn’t have a lot of time to scan the various scraps of parchment tacked to the wall before Hiravias tugged on her arm. “C’mon, Watcher, I don’t think they’re lookin’ for help with any of this.”

“Just satisfying my curiosity,” Adela laughed,” twirling her braid as she let him pull her toward the door.

>X<   >X<     >X<

But the hint of mystery about this caravan remained, teasing the back of her mind as she ran errands and solved little problems for people around the city. She got so lost in dwelling on it, Edér had to wave a bowl of stew under her nose for her to catch on it was dinner time. 

“I know you love a good mystery, Adi, but don’t take it too far,” he chuckled.

“Sorry,” Adela said, accepting the still-steaming bowl with a sheepish smile. She set aside her quill and the journal she’d been scrawling notes in. “Thank you.”

“Welcome,” Edér said with a wink. “You’re plannin’ to track it down, ain’t you?”

“...Maybe,” she conceded, pushing the stew around with her spoon to cool it faster. “I wouldn’t ask for coin or anything to do it, solving the mystery would be enough for me. But I know that’s not compensation enough for some, so I’m hesitant to drag you all with me looking for them.”

“Well, I reckon the idea of findin’ people who probably need rescuin’ would also be reason enough,” he pointed out. “Not everything’s gotta be done for a reward.”

“True.” Adela scooped up a bite of stew and blew  on it before eating. “I guess in the morning we’re going caravan hunting.” It would give her time to look over her notes.

Edér grinned. “Sounds good to me.”

>X<   >X<     >X<

Not everyone was as enthusiastic about this plan, but none objected, so after a bright and early breakfast, they left Defiance Bay along the same route the ill-fated caravan had followed. At least, same route as far as Adela could remember and had subsequently written down in her notes.

“You do know how far it is from Defiance Bay to New Heomar, yes?” Aloth inquired diplomatically as they walked through early morning mists. “Not to disparage your intelligence, I just know how... focused you can get, one that leads to a significant chance of us finding ourselves rather more towards New Heomar than we expected.”

“Yes, I know how far it is to New Heomar,” Adela laughed. She’d figured he’d be the  one to say something. “Don’t worry, according to the Row’s notes, there’s a small village halfway between that the caravan never reached, either. So, in theory, unless we find evidence they went a different route, that’s as far as we’d have to look.”

He looked slightly reassured. “That;s still a lot of ground to cover, you realize.”

“I do. But it’s a good bit less than all the way to New Heomar, and I have a good feeling about our odds.”

“That’s the spirit,” Kana said cheerfully, approaching from behind. He flashed them both a toothy grin. “I’d much prefer a happy ending to this mystery, for the sake of both the missing souls and the story it will make.”

“Much as it’s in my power, I’ll see what I can do,” Adela replied, amused. “In service of both ends.”

“Do we know how far from the city they made it before they disapeared?” Aloth asked. “Or anything else that might help narrow the search area further?”

Adela shook her head. “Out of sight from the gates, but beyond that it’s anyone’s guess.”

“Why a group this size wanna go to New Heomar anyway?” Hiravias interjected, flicking a bug from Adela’s braid as he caught up. “That’s what I can’t figure out. From what I hear, they aren’t exactly swimming in wealth and available land in that part of the Dyrwood.”

“Maybe only some are staying in New Heomar and the rest are bound elsewhere,” Adela said with a shrug. “We can ask them when we find them.”

The druid grinned and adjusted his eyepatch. “Ah, blind optimism. It’s almost inspiring, in a way.”

>X<   >X<     >X<

Adela needed that ‘blind optimism’, as she quickly found out why books--of both fictional and informative natures--glazed over the ‘searching for hours to find a lead’ part of mysteries. If she’d possessed even a modicum less curiosity and tenacity she probably would have given up. After all, if the ciphers of Dunryd Row couldn’t find anything, what made her think she’d have better luck?

Finally, though, she caught sight of something off the road, so hidden in the underbrush a taller individual would likely have missed it. With a whoop of triumph, Adela shoved her grimoire into Aloth’s hands--simply because he was closest--and ducked into the close-knit tangle of weeds and flowers. She emerged a minute later, dirt and dead grass clinging to her braid with the same fervor her hand clenched around her find.

It didn’t look like much; a short curl of copper skewered through a scrap of parchment, the perfect colors for blending with the dying undergrowth. Adela smoothed out the wrinkled from the aprchment to read, half torn off, ‘...better luck in New He...’

“This was them!” she said excitedly, rocking up on the balls of her feet and rubbing her thumb over the hastily scrawled words.

“How can you tell?” Aloth asked, brushing some of the dirt from her hair as he offered back her grimoire. “Not to imply I disbelieve you, just curious as to your reasoning.”

“Aside from the incredibly faint but still useful traces of someone’s soul essence clinging to it?” Adela grinned, flipping her braid back over her shoulder before accepting the grimoire. “Call it an educated guess. I know there were a couple animancers traveling with them, animancers use copper more than your average Dyrwoodan. Also,” she handed him the scrap of parchment, “that handwriting matches one of the manifests Hadret House had as evidence.”

“A convincing case,” he agreed. “So what now? And why wouldn’t a cipher have picked up the essence and found this already?”

“It’s really faint,” Adela said. “I think the only reason I felt it is due to being a Watcher. Even a skilled cipher would have trouble, if they sense it at all. As far as what now, it seems we need to go in that direction.” She nodded toward the woods off the path.

“Perhaps we should stop for a rest first?” Aloth suggested. “We’ve been at this for hours, a chance to simply relax would be welcome.”

“I’ll second that,” Hiravias said, giving Aloth a friendly nudge with his elbow. “We need a chance to eat; I can hear Edér’s fucking stomach growl from five feet away.”

Adela glanced over her shoulder, toward where Edér stood with Kana and Pallegina, and he shrugged in sheepish confession. “Alright, short rest to get some food in our bellies” --her own growled at the realization of how long ago breakfast had been-- “then into the woods we go.”

“Tell me, Watcher, do you have any theories regarding what happened?” Pallegina asked as the six of them found places to sit. 

“I do, actually,” Adela nodded. She dug out a bag of dried fruit and tossed it to Kana for him and Edér to share. “I think they did it themselves.”

Edér frowned. “Why would they do a thing like that?”

“I haven’t the foggiest,” she admitted. “But think about it: this route isn’t exactly an easy one, but the biggest dangers are bandits, wild animals, and Glanfathans who object to people trespassing in their sacred places.” Hiravias grunted consensus with the last one as he scooped out a handful of dried apricots, and Adela smiled grimly before continuing. “From my experience, none of those threats are particularly... neat.”

Odema’s caravan flashed through her mind, and the smile turned to a grimace. 

“That’s puttin’ it nicely,” Edér snorted. “Nothin’ makes a mess like wolves.”

“My point exactly,” Adela said, gesturing broadly with her apple. “Someone decided they wanted to disappear and the road to New Heomar was the best place to do it; dangerous enough no one would question their loss, not so dangerous someone skilled would be in real trouble. And with how well their tracks are covered, this is someone who knows what they’re doing.”

“Which  begs the question of how they’ll react if we find them,” Kana pointed out. “If they’re wanting to disappear, I can’t imagine they’ll take kindly to being found.”

“Good point,” Adela conceded. She took a bite of her apple while she muffled it over. “S’ppose we can figure that out if we find them. If I’m right, we’ll have to see what they wanted to disappear from and go from there.”

“Considering you think there’s animancers among them, I can’t imagine their reasoning is anything good,” Aloth muttered.

“Not all animancers are bad!” Adela protested almost reflexively. “Like I said, assuming I’m even right, we’ll see what we’ll do when or if we find them.”

They sat for a few more minutes, enjoying the cool breeze that sprung up, before stowing the food and following Adela into the adjacent woods.”

>X<   >X<     >X<

Whoever or whatever was responsible for the caravan’s disappearance, one thing was certain: they were very thorough. The trail got no easier to follow, even when they were well away from the road. Adela almost wished they had Sagani with them, but Hiravias was doing an impressive job tracking, so hopefully the end result would be the same.

Bent blades of grass, scuffed off tree bark, a tuft of horse hair snagged by a bramble, slowly but surely they tracked their quarry through the woods. Finally they reached a point where Hiravias held up a hand and gestured ahead, toward a section of trees where more light was coming through. They slowed their pace, moving as quietly as possible, and crept closer.

In the clearing beyond the trees rested three wagons, the horses unhitched but grazing nearby. The kith who comprised the caravan--mostly folk with a few elves mixed in--sat or stood in small groups spread out across the clearing. They looked relaxed for the most part, but a few along the fringes were clearly more wary.

Guards, then, Adela mused. They all seemed to be here of their own volition; no one was being treated as prisoners or unwilling tagalongs that she could see. But she didn’t get a chance to pat herself on the back at the further evidence she was correct.

The nearest of the wary ones, as elf who looked maybe half Aloth’s age(best she could tell, elves were hard for her to pin down), swiveled toward where they crouched. His eyes narrowed and he pulled a pistol free of his belt. “Who’s there?”

Adela looked at her friends, shrugged, and then stepped into view, ignoring Aloth and Pallegina’s hissed cautions. She heard footsteps behind her, but didn’t look to see who followed. Edér, probably. Maybe Kana.

“I don’t mean you any harm,” she said, holding her hands well away from sceptre and grimoire both as she looked up at the elf. “I’d heard in Defiance Bay there was a missing caravan, and wanted to help. I know mishaps with caravan can be nasty” --the singing wind of a bîaŵac, Odema’s hand pressed against his crimson-painted stomach-- “and I wanted to make sure you were alright. That’s what happens when you cross curiosity and a bleeding heart.”

“Well, we’re fine,” the elf snapped. He lowered the pistol, still eyeing her suspiciously from under shaggy red hair. “So you can take your tall as blazes friends and fuck right off, aye?”

Adela looked back. Sure enough, Edér and Kana. “Sure, sure. I’ll tell Dunryd Row you’re safe and they can stop looking. I’m sure they won’t press for more details.”

“Wait, wait, wait.” A nearby human spun on one heel and hurried over, placing a restraining hand over the elf’s as he started to raise the pistol again. “Dunryd Row’s looking for us? Gav, maybe we should explain a little, ac?”

The elf sighed out a heavy breath through his nose but nodded. “Fine.” He tucked the pistol in his belt and cocked his head sharply as he looked at Adela. “This all of ya?”

Tempted as she was to say yes, this seemed a situation best helped by honesty. “No.” She gestured toward the trees, and Hiravias, Aloth, and Pallegina stepped out as well. “So, what’s your explanation for vanishing without a trace?”

The woman smirked and tugged at one of her tied-back curls. “Not entirely without a trace, aimica, or you would not have found us.”

“Point,” Adela nodded. “I’m Adela, by the way. Adela Tecali.”

“Hanna,” the woman replied in turn. She bobbled a hand casually toward the elf. “This is Gavryl. We” --this gesture encompassed the whole caravan-- “are just looking to be left alone.”

“Plenty of ways to do that without the disappearin’ act,” Edér chipped in.

Hanna hesitated, and Gavryl crossed his arms with a snort. “Not when you’ve been harassed, many times publicly, for months, ac? Rumors spread, and even seedy provincials are unwilling to have you.”

“Harassed....” Adela bit her lip. “Are you animancers, by any chance?”

“Ac, some are,” Hanna nodded. “The rest are friends and family tired of seeing loved one viewed with suspicion because they dabble in an... unknown science.” 

“That’s a diplomatic way to describe it.” She could almost hear the eyeroll in Aloth’s voice.

“Aloth,” she muttered, before flashing Hanna an apologetic smile. “My friend isn’t fond of animancy, to put that diplomatically.”

“And what about you?” Gavryl asked bluntly.

Adela shrugged. “I think it’s fascinating. Don’t practice myself, but like all fields of study or inquiry, I only take issue with it when it’s misused.” She shifted her weight and eyed the collection of kith scattered around the clearing. “So tell me, is the point of this disappearing act just to be left alone, or are you looking for somewhere your animancers can work without suspicion?”

“Both, really,” Hanna admitted, playing with the ends of her sash. “Most simply study the theory of it, but there are one or two among us who run small experiments occasionally. We were hoping to be written off as lost and find a small village somewhere to call our new home.”

“You don’t expect people to wonder where you came from?” Kana frowned. “Kith are a curious lot, I’ve found.”

“New settlers, looking for a home,” Hanna said with a shrug. “It’s not even entirely a lie, and there are enough new settlers in the Dyrwood, it shouldn’t raise too many follow up questions.”

“Well, then...” Adela ran one hand over her braid. It wasn’t a foolproof plan, but neither was it an openly malicious one. “I won’t stop you. But you realize Dunryd Row is very good at what they do, so if they’re looking, someone else will find you eventually. For your own sake, make sure you have a very good case at the ready for when that happens.”

“I don’t suppose,” Hanna began slowly, “you’d consider teling them you found the wreckage of our caravan in a swamp or something?”

“Hanna!” Gavryl protested.

“If they think we’re dead, they’ll stop looking,” she shot back.

“And animancers wonder why they’re viewed with suspicion,” Aloth said under his breath.

“If I tell them that, they’ll want to know how I found it and how I know it’s you.” She shook her head. “I’m fine with leaving the mystery for them to solve on their own, like we did, but if you’re simply looking for a new home than I don’t feel comfortable lying for you.”

“I understand,” Hanna said with a nod. “We will be content with your silence, then, aimica.”

“That I’m happy to promise,” Adela agreed. She heard Aloth shift behind her even though he didn’t say anything, and mentally placed a bet they would be having another of their discussions when they made camp that night. “If it’s acceptable to your friend?”

Gavryl shrugged. “Guess we don’t really have a choice but to trust ya, ‘less we want to become the paranoid, murderous lunatics everyone thinks we are.”

“Gav,” Hanna sighed reprovingly.

“What, I’m sayin’ we trust ‘em,” he protested. He made a shooing motion with one hand. “An’ now that’s settled, off with ya.”

“Sure,” Adela shrugged. She gestured to her friends. “Come on. We have other things to do.”

They all followed without comment, either for or against her decision.

“So, no reward, then,” Hiravias said casually once they were almost back to the road. “Not from them in thanks for our silence, or from Dunryd for solving their mystery.”

Adela shrugged. “Just a good hunt and knowing we solved a mystery. That’s good enough for me, how ‘bout you?”

He grinned. “I suppose as a follower of the Seeker God, I have to say yes. Still, a more tangible reward wouldn’t go amiss.”

“I hear you,” she laughed. “But we don’t always get one. So the satisfaction of the hunt will have to do.”

That truly would be enough for her.

[zahra-hydris]

still relatively early into deadfire but some thoughts!

I LOVE XOTI WOW I feel like her quest line is going to get dark but wow I just adore her

if you had asked me to guess which returning pillars companions would be romanceable, I would have said that eder was a safe bet but I really didn’t think aloth and pallegina would be included. seems I was right about exactly one of those and I am legitimately surprised about this. of course, I found this out around the time I was thinking ‘damn how could you not ship eder x watcher a little considering he’s dropped everything to save your ass and sail you across the world’.

ALOTH’S INTRODUCTION IS SO GOOD also i missed him guys

on these notes, I LOVE THE NEW REPUTATION AND RELATIONSHIP SYSTEM and I love so much that the companions react to each other, leading to this really fun relationship between xoti and serafen where she’s constantly disapproving of his more shady actions but she finds him a pure riot otherwise

still not a fan of the voiced narrative during the major story moments but I do think ashley does a wonderful job regardless

serafen is wild but i’m not sure where I stand on him just yet... i’m also very conflicted by liam’s voice help

that said, I did the first main part of the quest you get when you get him and it was insanely enjoyable and I’m really appreciative that obsidian is seemingly mixing up the standard ‘run in, kill people, profit’ formula

the ship combat? eh. I do enjoy the requirements of managing the ship, however.

I’m not actually playing esmy right now (too many little bugs in the POE save and companions; i’ll play her after, once the hotfix comes out) so i’m playing a spellblade (rogue/wizard) self-insert (I had her in poe as a wizard) and I don’t know if I like the changes to the spells? maybe it’s just because I got so used to the original system? apparently you don’t grab spells from grimoires now, but you have to switch to the grimoire itself? anyway, sneaking in and throwing a fireball for sneak attack damage will never get old, guys.

anyway I’M HAVING A LOT OF FUN

[adraveins]

D and/or X for Hakona? 😊💛

D. Subtle kindnesses. / X. A flash of anger.

(My brain went “anger as kindness,” and that’s a huge thing for Hakona in POE 1, so…)

—

It’s a conversation had against the continuous rumbling of conversation in The Goose and Fox, Pallegina’s voice low and flat. Hakona begins to understand why the woman holds such anger towards the gods, and it isn’t often that she regrets earlier words that have left her lips. She does now.

It leaves as a tongue of fire that darts out between Hakona’s fingers and drags a long black mark across the wood of the table between them. Pallegina stares down at it, then lifts her eyes and a single feathered eyebrow.

“He wasn’t fit to have a godlike child, then,” Hakona says, sharp and hot. “In the Land, he would have been shunned for such behavior.”

Pallegina considers this, a pensive look upon her face. “Agracima, aimica,” she says, placing her coaster delicately over the scorch mark. “But it was a long time ago. And I would much rather hear tales of places I’ve never been.” She leans back in her seat and gives Hakona an appraising look. “You clearly have no love for your homeland, but you speak of it often.”

Hakona wonders why Pallegina has any love for hers, but she hears the weary desire to drop the subject, calms the flames licking down her forearms, and obliges Pallegina’s interest instead.

[weakzen]

Fic rec for @pillarspromptsweekly [B16] and a comment on a fic that doesn't have any yet [O20]

I've really been enjoying these fills for PoEtober. They're small slices-of-life spanning both games, from scenes of the fluffy mundane to the heart-wrenching, and they're all told through perspective of the Watcher and different companions. The Watcher herself, En, is pretty interesting—a cipher from the Living Lands with hints pointing to a scientific background that she's trying to leave behind. She'd also fall under Watchers I'm interested in learning more about. <3

In that brief moment the door was ajar the third verse of “My Wahaki” warbled up from the deck below. Somehow Tekēhu had managed to get half the crew singing along with him, including Eld Engrim. It wasn’t half bad, actually.

The scowl on Aloth’s face spoke differently. “Every time,” he muttered, rubbing his temples. “I’m studying my grimoire in my bunk, and suddenly he decides it’s time to practice his chanting. Or just sing in general, apparently. I could nearly swear he’s doing it on purpose.”

“He could be,” En replied, setting down her pen. “His way of getting you to loosen up, perhaps?”

“Well, I don’t appreciate it.”

She waved him further in. “Rest for a bit, Aloth. You’re always welcome in here, you know. It’s your room, too; you don’t have to keep using your bunk.”

A small smile ghosted across his lips as he set his grimoire on a table. “I know,” he said, stepping over to press a brief kiss to her crown.

[babineni]

Angst 19 - "Please don't leave."

Thank you for this 💖 sorry it took me this long to post it mainly bc I accidentally saved it as a draft and then I didn’t check it so it’s been there for two weeks whoops

but anyway have some immediately post-PoE 1 Aloth x Watcher stuff, featuring Gaura first experiencing abandonment issues

below a cut bc it got long

Gaura pulled her knees closer to her chest and wrapped her arms around them a little tighter. She wasn't sure what she hoped this would accomplish. Her body forming the same, nearly suffocating knot that took the space where her heart was meant to be, hardly could have eased her sorrows. She hid her face behind her legs and allowed the tears to come but she didn't grant herself the same freedom when it came to the sounds trying to escape her. Not a single cry left her mouth. The Watcher was scared that if she voiced her anguish, she would never stop weeping.

She knew that her friends would leave her, once their quest against the Leaden Key was done. And yet, the Watcher was still caught off guard by some of the departures.

She was ready when Sagani said goodbye, in fact, she was relieved and happy for her, and wished her a speedy return to her family. She was ready when Kana said goodbye. She knew his mission wouldn't be over until he presented his findings after all. They still shed a few tears, but not many, and none of them were bitter or sorrowful. And Durance... well, if there was someone Gaura was happy to see go, it was him.

But then Pallegina left to report to the ducs, even though she knew the repercussions she would have to endure. Gaura offered a place to stay, a place where she would be valued, cared for and safe, knowing exactly how she would respond. But she couldn't help it, she couldn't stop hoping the paladin would reconsider and stay.

Then Hiravias left as one would expect of a follower of Wael's. Still, Gaura figured that even he needed a place he could return to, a place where he could keep the secrets he uncovered, a place he could call home. She was sad to realize she was wrong.

Then Grieving Mother left. Even though the Watcher couldn't bear children herself, she hoped the midwife would stay for all the women living in and around Caed Nua. She hoped that their connection built upon seeing and knowing one another would be enough. But it wasn't.

And then Edér left and...

And...

And the next thing Gaura knew was, that she was sitting by the hearth in Brighthollow's kitchen, trying to cry as quietly as it was possible.

'There you are. I've been looking all over for you,' Aloth's voice prompted the Watcher to look up and hastily dry her eyes. The wizard stopped in his tracks when he saw the miserable state she was in. For a moment, he awkwardly looked back at the doorway he just passed through but once the moment passed he continued walking towards her. He approached her almost perfectly silently, catiously, burying his own unease under the comforting presence of a friend.

'I just needed some time alone,' Gaura broke the silence. 'I uhh... The lady of Caed Nua shouldn't be seen like a mess. People look to me for guidance and... I'm being a sentimental fool.'

'Come now, you're hardly being fair towards yourself,' Aloth sat down beside Gaura, close enough for his shoulder to touch hers. He shuffled somewhat awkwardly, but he didn't move away from her, nor did he give any other indication of being flustered. For a moment, the Watcher felt the urge to wrap her arms around him and weep on his shoulder, but the moment passed and she stayed motionless.

Gaura let out a sigh and turned her attention to the hearth on her other side. The embers still had a glow, fainter than her own but enough to inspire some reflection.

'No, I have grown... weak here. Caed Nua has made me vulnerable,' she scolded herself. 'I think back to the person I was before I left the Valleys and... I'm not the same.'

'It is only natural,' Aloth answered. 'You have been through a lot. And I imagine, the Watcher abilities alone could change one drastically. But you have carried your burdens with grace and bravery,' he smiled at her shyly, 'and I... I'm glad I was around to see it.' He hesitantly reached for the Watcher's hand, the same way she reached for his months before in the Brackenbury Sanitarium. His touch was somewhat lighter but it carried the same warmth, putting a weak smile on Gaura's face.

'Well... I hope you still see that grace and bravery now,' she chuckled ruefully, as she turned back to the wizard.

'I do.'

Gaura's smile grew a little wider. But her heart still felt heavy.

'I still wish I could feel like I used to. Being able to say goodbye used to feel like... a gift of sorts,' she explained. 'Being able to let go of an attachment free of loss... or grief... was something I felt grateful for. I never mourned for things that were beautiful but... momentary. And in the Valleys everything was beautiful but nothing truly lasted. But now...' The Watcher sighed and let her head hang. 'Like I said... I'm being a sentimental fool.'

Aloth's grip on her hand tightened slightly. Gaura felt him caress a knuckle with his thumb. But the uneasy way he shifted his weight next to her made her wonder if this act of comfort was for her or for him.

'I'm going to miss them too... and I think... I think I understand,' he said. 'Being a spy hardly offers a life full of long friendships. It always felt more appropriate to keep my distance and to cherish moments for what they were without letting it become... more,' he sighed. 'If I were to follow your line of logic, then Caed Nua made me weak too. In no small part, thanks to you. I don't think you need me to explain why this happened to the both of us.'

The Watcher didn't reply, but she felt the ache in her chest ease slightly at the wizard's words. There was a bittersweet comfort lingering in the air and for the first time, Gaura felt that the silence of Brighthollow, which was now empty save for the two of them, was not all that suffocating as she has been feeling it for the last few days.

'Thank you,' she said, as she dried the last of her tears and straightened up. 'I needed that, truth be told.'

'Anytime,' Aloth smiled. 'Although I admit, it feels a bit strange to echo your own ideas back to you.'

'Perspective is funny that way.'

'Indeed.'

Gaura let out a long sigh, trying to rid herself of the rest of her tensions. She gave Aloth's hand a slight squeeze, then she stood up and stretched her limbs. She inhaled deeply, as if the comfort of the wizard's encouragement was a presence she could physically take with her.

'Alright, I think I'm good,' she said, while she turned to Aloth with a smile. 'You were looking for me for something I presume. I'm ready to listen.'

Aloth's smile, however, faltered at her offer. A shade of red tinted his face - one of shame and guilt. He avoided her gaze as he spoke.

'It's... it's not important. It can wait until tomorrow.'

Gaura's heart sank. He didn't need to say anything else. She felt the suffocation of the silence between them grow more oppressive, the longer she was processing the implication hiding behind his hesitant words. She should've guessed the moment he entered that kitchen. She visited him in his room just a few days earlier. She saw the maps, the list of names, the blueprint of a scepter called "Keybreaker". She saw everything she needed to see, but Aloth didn't say anything then, and once they were out of her sight, they were out of her mind.

'When are you going to go?' The Watcher's voice was shakier than she would've liked.

Aloth turned back to her, his gaze full of unsaid apologies.

'I was planning on leaving in two days. But if it makes things easier-'

'It doesn't,' Gaura interrupted him.

The wizard merely nodded as a response and looked down at his hands lying in his lap. The same hands that just a few moments ago filled the Watcher with the comfort of knowing she wasn't alone. He shifted his weight and decided have those hands grab his seat instead so tightly, his knuckles turned white from the effort.

Gaura approached him, fighting the burning sensation overtaking her eyes again. She swallowed hard, closing her eyes, trying to hold on to whatever was left of her dignity. But a moment later, she gave up: she let a quiet curse slip through her lips as she knelt down and let her head drop against Aloth's knees. She shielded her face with her arms, ignoring the wizard tensing up in shock at her touch.

'Please don't leave,' she whispered.

'I... I must,' an awkward answer came from above, prompting Gaura to look up.

'Let me just beg you in peace. Alright?'

Aloth's expression softened slightly. His gaze was still apologetic but his face reflected sincerity rather than discomfort.

'Alright.'

The Watcher hid her face again. 'Please don't leave,' she repeated. 'Please don't leave. Please don't leave.' Her plea to him turned into a mantra for herself. Her eyelids grew heavy as she continued and her tears stopped falling. She might've heard a spell being cast and she might have felt a hesitant stroke against her scalp right before unconsciousness turned her numb to the world around her, but she couldn't be sure.

[weakzen]

Inexorable

The Watcher attempts to mitigate the effects of Vatnir's chime with a cipher spell. Rymrgand has opinions on her efforts.

Pairing: Aloth x Watcher Rating: T Spoilers: Beast of Winter DLC & Pallegina's Deadfire quest

AO3 version

She began to strip before the door latched shut behind her.

First, her jerkin and boots dropped to the floor. Then her tunic. Her trousers. Her socks and her smallclothes. All of them fell in a trail behind her as she shambled forward, until she stood nude before the bed.

He snapped his book shut as she approached, inhaling and leaning back as she climbed atop him, but even he didn't stop her momentum. She continued over him, rolling ungracefully to the side, and toppled facedown into the mattress.

A satisfied, muffled sigh escaped her lips as she lay there and finally closed her eyes.

The bed was comfortable, as was the cool air drifting in through the window. And the linen sheets were deliciously soft against her skin. Her body felt so… heavy, amidst it all. Every part of her. Like she could sink through the mattress, pierce the sheets, and fall into something wonderful, maybe—if it weren't for the headache pinning her in place.

Somewhere in the past half-decade, she'd actually acclimated to the dull and chronic malaise that came with focus deprivation, but she'd never experienced it this acutely. The throbbing ache, the fatigue, the vague dizziness and nausea, all of it felt more like the crash that followed ascension, except her crashes never lasted longer than a few moments.

Or, at least, they hadn't before.

She heard the book gently thump onto the side table, then felt Aloth shift next to her. His hand settled onto her back and rubbed circles in the curve of her lower spine.

“Busy evening again?”

“Not really,” she muttered into the sheets. After a moment, she summoned the strength to flop herself over and stretch out her limbs, yawning deeply as her joints cracked. She exhaled, then collapsed into a heap. “I'm just… tired.”

“So I've noticed.”

A weak grin pulled at her lips as she glanced at him.

“Oh yeah? What else have you been noticing?”

“Only the obvious,” he said flatly, giving her a ticklish pinch that made her squirm. The corners of his mouth curled upwards briefly before pressing into a frown. “This isn't the first time this week I've seen you like this. I'm becoming a bit concerned.”

“And here I always thought you liked it when I slept naked.”

“I was speaking of your exhaustion,” he said, rolling his eyes. He gave her a pointed look, though color still bloomed across his cheeks. “You've seemed… off, lately, ever since we set sail from the iceberg. When you're not above deck staring at the ocean for hours, you're collapsing into bed, too tired to talk or keep up with your meditations.”

“Amongst other things,” she added, her grin widening.

“Well, yes, but—” His flush deepened. “That's not really what I'm worried about.”

Seraphina chuckled and rolled on her side to face him. “Then what are you worried about? Besides my obvious exhaustion.”

He glanced away.

“Nothing really, just…” he began, then trailed off. A sigh of resignation sounded in his throat and he looked back to her. “Well, I've noticed you holding Vatnir's hands a lot lately, too.”

She raised her eyebrows, then her torso began to quiver with silent laughter.

“What, are you jealous, Aloth?”

“I'm not sure.” He gave her a lopsided smile. “Should I be?”

“I don't know. You tell me.” She smiled herself then, biting her lip as she slid her hand to his jaw and caressed his cheek with her thumb. “Who, exactly, am I in bed with again—even if I am too tired to show my appreciation and give him a proper tumble?”

He rolled his eyes again, this time in fondness, amusement pulling at his mouth and softening his features. Then, he cupped her face and pressed his lips to hers, rolling her onto her back as he leaned over her. Her arms curled around him and her hand twined in his hair. She pulled him closer and, for a long moment, they kissed each other softly, until he broke away to nuzzle his face against her own.

“…Is everything okay, at least?” he asked quietly.

“As okay as it ever is,” she whispered back, tugging at the sheet between them. “Would be better, though, if I were under there with you.”

He smiled against her, then pulled back, enough so that she could slip under the sheets and cuddle into him. To her delight and amusement, he wasn't wearing anything either.

“Feeling a little warm tonight or something?” she teased, offering him a mischievous grin as she ran her hands over him.

“Only when you're around.”

He gave her a sly, knowing smile and she chuckled, then settled her head in the crook of his shoulder. Her eyes fell shut and she sighed contentedly as they lay together.

“…Nothing's wrong, Aloth,” she said softly, after a few moments. “I've just been… trying something new. A cipher experiment, I guess.”

“Oh?” His breath tickled against her forehead.

“Yeah. Ever since we left the Void, I've been wondering if there was anything I could do about Vatnir's chime. Not removing it or severing it, I mean, but I thought it might be possible to mitigate its effects and give him some relief, at least.”

He inclined his head. “How so?”

“An extensive, modified pain block, essentially. I've been testing different variations on him almost every evening.” She pursed her lips, her mind briefly wandering to the variables she hadn't yet implemented. “…I'm still tweaking it right now, though. But, I figure once I get it just right, it'll be easy to apply when I'm ascended and it should last for quite a while from there, a few days if I can manage it. Long enough, anyway, that I shouldn't need to pull from my own reserves anymore to apply it.”

“Given the frequency of which we seem to find ourselves imperiled, I suspect that won't be an issue,” he said dryly. “Has it been effective, in any case?”

“I think so?” She shrugged. “His essence hasn't changed, unsurprisingly, but he says he can actually sleep through the night now, and that it hurts less when he coughs and moves around. He thinks some of his wounds might've begun to heal, too.”

Aloth hummed quietly. “He has seemed a bit livelier as of late, come to think of it. I even saw him eating at the table with everyone in the mess the other day, rather than sitting in the corner.”

She smiled. “That's good to hear.”

“Well, it's good of you to help him.”

Heat flushed across her face and she fidgeted uncomfortably.

“I suppose. I know I'm not really fixing anything, not permanently.” She paused for a moment, biting her lip. “…Pallegina and I also talked to him about what she did to her chime. And I've offered to take him to Giacolo's new lab, more than once, but… he's ambivalent about going that far. He said I shouldn't be pushing him to do it either, when I haven't even had it done myself.

“I know it wasn't kind of me,” she continued, “but I laughed in his face when he said that. I asked him why I would need to cut my chime before he does, when the worst thing I have to suffer is that stupid joke people make about whether or not I can actually see anything. I told him that my body wasn't the one decaying alive, that my chime wasn't causing me constant pain—and that he didn't have to accept or endure a lifetime of that either, regardless of what his so-called father said.”

She sighed again, long and wearily as her temples continued to throb.

“Rymrgand's 'gift' is nothing but abusive fucking cruelty.”

Aloth pressed his cheek against her head and rubbed her back. “I don't think there are many kith, alive or dead, who would disagree. But I doubt that would sway him from ensnaring any more mortals with his chime.”

“Yeah, well—why would it?” She huffed in disgust. “After all, we mortals are nothing more than pointless dust, right? Hard to care about dust, I guess, especially when it refuses to wipe away cleanly, and insists that it has an important purpose—”

A sharp crack whipped across the cabin from behind them.

They both startled upright, her lethargy and pain forgotten as she reached for the knife beneath her pillow. She turned to locate the source of the noise, only to find a few splintering, jagged lines spreading across a pane of glass, like something had struck the window. A second fracture snapped loudly a few panes over. Then a third, then more, until violent, sonorous crackling overwhelmed the cabin and the temperature began to rapidly plummet.

Pocks of frozen crystal burst from the walls and ceiling and floor. Rime surged from them, coating the timber and carpet in ice. Her knife burned frigidly hot in her hand and she tossed it away. Next to her, Aloth barely managed to abandon his grimoire before smoking frost encased it whole. She scrambled for the covers then, pulling them up and around her body. But even the blankets weren't spared the incessant freeze, and they soon became a prison of stiff, crusted folds trapping the both of them against an even colder mattress.

Across the room, she caught a glimpse of ghostly, sparkling hoar coating everything before their lantern, too, succumbed to the cold and guttered out.

In the darkness, she and Aloth gasped next to each other. His arms snaked around her and pulled her roughly against him, and hers followed in turn, wrapping around his waist and under the shelter of hair covering his neck. She twined her legs between his and he squeezed back tightly. Plumes of fleeting warmth billowed past their lips as they breathed heavily and shivered into one another.

The snap of ice slowed to intermittent popping and, beneath it, something rumbled almost imperceptibly. The vibration increased rapidly, intensifying to a shrill and piercing wail that lanced into her skull like a needle. Pain exploded across her temples and a burst of white flooded her vision. Distantly, she heard Aloth call her name as she cried out, but she couldn't form the words to speak in response. Her eyes scrunched shut around the feel of knife blades and her head pounded so violently even her teeth and horns hurt. Sweat began to prickle across her skin and her stomach lurched with sickness. In desperation, she scraped at her meager focus reserves and scrambled to subdue her panic, pushing her mind into a rough flatness to ready her powers.

But, to her horror, as she blinked open her mind's eye to use them, something overwhelming and impossibly sharp rushed forward to stab it shut.

Should I wipe you away now, Watcher?

Fresh agony seared her mind while Rymrgand's unmistakable voice cracked across her consciousness. It resonated deeply, shuddering and groaning like a colossal sheet of ice straining to keep its hold on a glacier. Aloth squeezed her tighter and she knew he heard it too. The noise rumbled through her for a long, excruciating moment until it eventually calved. As it splintered and fell away, so too did some of her pain, enough that she could speak again.

“Well,” she gasped, her heart thumping wildly. “Think I could probably clump into one of Eora's weirder-looking dust bunnies, if you let me roll around a while longer.” She briefly clenched her jaw to keep her teeth from chattering, then swallowed hard. “I meant what I said too. Your gift is cruelty.”

And your efforts with my progeny are a misguided act of futility. You expend your limited energy and hasten your decline in exchange for nothing, as you readily admit yourself. Yet, you persist, knowing the only place your exertion truly leads is to your own gradual destruction.

Your self-diminution in this regard is… exquisite.

Something shifted in her then, a sense of blinding sunlight on the snow mingled with pleasure.

She blinked.

“Uh, thanks?”

I will permit you to continue your endeavor, to your end or to those you would wrest essence from instead. But you will do so with the knowledge that I will reclaim what is mine from Vatnir should he ever attempt to sever my chime.

The pounding in her head increased, pressing into one continuous ache as the implication hit her.

“You'll kill him? Is that what you mean?”

No.

His death would only be an incidental effect.

Aloth exhaled against her neck. “So either Vatnir lives with the pain or somebody else does,” he mumbled.

Entropy is inexorable. Any fleeting reprieve from it demands a sacrifice. To stave off pain, you must invoke the suffering of something else.

That is your entire existence.

“What's your existence, then?” she rasped. “What are you staving off through his suffering? You're a god. Nothing forced you to put your chime in him. You could have spared him the pain you know it causes, but you didn't.”

I will spare him. Eventually. In the meantime, who will receive temporary reprieve and whose suffering will provide it is a concern I leave you to decide.

Ultimately, it matters not.

She whimpered as the pain cinched around her head and began to crush inward. Her eyes watered and every breath of dry, cold air she took scraped her throat and lungs. It was becoming hard to move, hard to speak, or even think, but it was more difficult than anything else to remain silent.

“…Okay, entropy will claim everything someday. Fine. So what? We're still here, until then, alive before the Wheel turns again. This flash of existence is all we'll ever have, all we'll ever know, and that makes what we choose to do during it the only thing that matters. On our scale, your ending is just as meaningless and unimportant to us as our mortal lives are to you.”

Something shifted in her again, vague contempt while a gale blasted at a mountainside.

You are, undoubtedly, Berath's spawn. Only one of their brats could possess such a shackled understanding of life and death.

“And only a god made from the souls of the most nihilistic Engwithans could think his view of impermanency is the only one that's valid.”

It is the only one that will endure, and even I can appreciate that irony.

An amused snort escaped her nose.

“Well, I hope your ending is the everything and the nothing you want it to be, when it finally comes.” She closed her eyes and buried her face in Aloth's neck. He hugged her tighter and she did her best to return it with her numbing hands. “I'm gonna use my scrap of time to keep helping the people around me,” she muttered. “I don't care if it doesn't last, or if I don't benefit from it myself—it's still always worth it to do right by others and slowly build towards a better world.”

Something shifted in her once more, an avalanche of laughter tumbling free to roar destructively down a slope.

Your better world is littered with the corpses of kith who professed similar sentiments, whose proud words failed to survive even the meager duration of their individual lives. I look forward to seeing how quickly time will erode those same lofty ideals in you as well, Watcher.

Until then, I will be keeping an eye on you.

Seraphina and Aloth flinched as a soul-piercing crack sliced across the room. Their lantern flickered back to life and the ice covering everything splintered, shattered, then disintegrated into powdery vapor, filling the cabin with a fine mist that smelled of ozone and decay. The temperature steadily climbed as it dissipated, until the air returned to that of balmy, tropical night. Cold still lingered in the sheets, however, and in their trembling bodies, the last, deteriorating evidence that something had ever been amiss.

Aloth sighed, then slumped against her. She absently rubbed his back while he shook his head and stroked hers in turn. As warmth prickled painfully back into her hands and feet, whatever sharpness had lodged into her mind's eye melted away too, rolling a sense of frigid wetness across the crown of her head. Only when she shivered from it, and let loose the breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding, did she notice that all of her pain and fatigue had vanished as well.

She wasn't quite sure what to make of that.

“So… just the one eye then, huh? Not all five?”

“Seraphina…”

“Bet he always will be watching, too,” she muttered. “You know, just to satisfy his obsession with length and duration, not 'cause he's a pervert or anything.”

“Please,” Aloth said against her skin. “What is the one thing I asked you not to do anymore?”

She sighed and leaned away to look at him.

“Sass the gods.”

“And what are you doing right now?”

“Sassing the gods, I know. I'm sorry. I'll stop.”

“Thank you.”

Aloth pulled her back to him and nuzzled his face into her neck as they held each other.

“…He's still a jerk, though,” she added a moment later. “And don't give me that look, 'cause even he admits—”

She yelped loudly and suddenly then, squirming against him while he trapped her with one of his arms.

“Admits what?” he asked innocently.

“Your hand is— So! Cold!”

“Not for long, it isn't.” He gave her a sly smile. “I'm only warm when you're around, remember?”

She laughed, shook her head, and kissed him.

Notes:

Thank you to @alwaysashroomsman for the idea of a cipher using the Pain Block spell on Vatnir <3