#pagan goddess guabancex

[walkingwiththegods1]

...Who is Guabancex?

Guabancex, is the Taino Goddess of The Hurricanes; than installed terror to her sons and daughters, The Tainos; when they neglected their duties to her, and mades evil in her lands. Hurakan, Gautaba and Coastriquie; are her assistants in her labour of punishment, and all the other minor Deities (Cemies); has no other choices than to obey her, when she ordered them than they helped her too; because she was the most powerful of the Cemies, the most powerful female Deity of the Taino's Pantheon, and... The only Deity than was in an eternal confrontaction with Yocahu, who was her husband until he left her for Atabey (The Mother Goddess than gave birth to the principal Taino's Deities). Guabancex, she was revered and feared in the same amount: The Tainos, were the descendents of Yocahu and Guabancex, but... They weren't spare of been punishes if they do evil, cause they knew better what will happen, ''If they makes to Mommy, REALLY ANGRY at them!...''

But, Guabancex; she is not evil; nor good: The Spaniards, painted her as ''Evil''; 'cause their mysoginists and dualist minds, needed to makes some Deities to looks like demons; to justified the cruel system of ''Las Encomiendas'' (capturing Tainos and separating whole families, to sent them to work through the island they were; to turned them in slaves to extract gold and work cultivating food, to feed to their enslavers), and the idea of a Goddess than have such power... Was enough to wrote her forever, as ''A demonic Goddess.'' Guabancex, is much more than; ''...The Goddess of Total Destruction, of whom the Taino Mothers used to speak about to their little children in their hamacas; at night!...'' ...No!

Guabancex, is too:

...The woman than sometimes punishes to her children, 'cause is the right way than they become better persons; someday.

...The woman than surrounds herself of persons than respect and love her, 'cause she knows that gives her power.

...The woman than uses violence when injustice against her, or to others; it didn't let her with another choice.

...The woman who defend her family and friends, even if she really has to fight with fists and nails.

...The woman who throwed and say goodbye to who tries to control her, or make her feel worthless.

...The woman than doesn't need a couple, 'cause she feels complete and can stand by her own.

...The woman than feel strong and powerful every month, and proud of being born a woman.

...The woman than show her anger, 'cause she held her frustraction and silence; for too long.

...The woman than puts an end to any relation than is of abuse/disrespect/humiliation against her, or to her love ones. And, above all; Guabancex, is...

...The woman than, after being loyal to her couple; and suffers an infidelity... Ends than relation, with the promise than she will never back with that person; 'cause she knows than she can't never trust in that person, again!

Than all of you take care, specially to my neighbors in The Caribbean; in this Hurricane's Season... So Be It!

[walkingwiththegods1]

Being Calm in Front of The Uncertainty: Why we must accept with calm, when we doesn't know what will happen in the future (...Or, with us!)

I was surprised (In a very bad way...), when at the last days of June of this year; Beryl developed so quickly than in all The Caribbean, the alerts passed into warnings of impending impact... In less of TWO DAYS! But, the worst part of it; was than it happened something to me, than rarely happens...

...I don't recieved any vision from Guabancex, or any hunch about Beryl! (I had been in such an stressful moment in the last two months, than I couldn't percieves Beryl; and I was blocked of any possible warning than Guabancex could have sended me, in these months!) ...Is a very scary moment, considering than this hurricane; passed too closes of my country, and luckily, ''we missed that bullet''; but sadly... My neighbors in the other Caribbean's Islands, and in The US; are grieving for the property they losed, and... For their deads! (My condolences, if any of you were affected in any way; for this hurricane.)

As a Psychic by birth, I have many moments I could see the outcome; before my predictions come true, but... As you have already readed above, sometimes; I can't percieved what if may happens, when I should have known before, what it was to come to The World, or... Into my life. (If a Psychic ever tell you, than he/she/they always sees the future or the past; or, than never had failed a prediction, then... Trust me: It must be a liar/s!)

In 2012, I was very stressed out about ''The 2012 Mayan's Profecy of End of The World''' (which ended to be an hoax, which was fabricated by white people than didn't have nothing to do in their free time, obviously...); and I tried to looked into the future at the beginning of the year, to see what if may happen in December 21; but... As I concentrated myself in trance, I notice something curious and terrorific; when my mind and spirit, arrived into the mentioned date...

I was in front of a very thick and tall wall, made only of a black moving smoke; so dark... Than I didn't dare to touch it. I tried a few times in that same day, before to quit to do that; and tried in the next weeks and months, until I started to felt fear cripping in all my being: ''I DON'T KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN, IN DECEMBER 21!'' … After May 2012 (full of frustration and in an state of deep fear), I decided to do the unexpected: I stopped to trying to see, what if may happen in that date.

As time passed, I felt that feeling of impending doom; 'cause each day than passed, put to The World and me... Closer to that dreadful prediction came true, but; at some point, in the last three months, I suffered a transformation: I started to feel at peace, even with not knowing what the future had in store with all of us.

The day before, I say goodbye to people than were my friends in that time (just in case than we wouldn't never saw to each other again, after December 21); and I returned to my house, wearing a overcoat with a thick t-shirt below the overcoat; and jeans with boots in a cold night, with my father at my side; when a blackout made him searched for me in the street next to my home, were my once friends lived; and under a clear Crescent Moon's quiet night. I went to sleep after a light dinner, resigned to whatever may happen to the next day...

The day arrived, and... The weird first thing that happened, was than I woke up to early than I usually do; and at 7 A.M., It was still dark! (I thoughted than it was only my perception... Until my Mother's Friend screamed than why the Sun, wasn't coming out yet; and that was where I started to feel fearful again: The Sun, finally came out; 15 or 20 minutes later) after that... Nothing weird happened again, until the sun sunset that day; I looked to the sky, and I wasn't expecting what I saw that day: The Stars... Looked more brighter, bigger and prettier; than ever! And the Sky... Looked so clean! I felt peace and joy, like never before. The Mayan Profecy, was true in one thing: It really felt like a new beginning for The World, and... For all of us!

I wrote this to all of you so than you may read it, so you may know something really important: It's really hard to not know what it may happen, specially when you feel than is urgent and important to know the future; and believes me, I know what you feel, but the only advice I can give you; is than you must be prepare to any possible outcome. In the same way, than people prepares for a natural disaster than may happen in their Community or Nation (Or, in poor countries like mine; keeping some raw foods in a dry and dark place, with the expiration date outside the container; so they may have something to cook or eat, in case of a social uprising; or close to the beginning of a possible famine); you must prepare yourself to keeps yourself calm, 'cause is the only way you and your loved ones; can take the best decisions for all of you, 'cause if fear and uncertainty; could clouds your reason, and can makes you commit mistakes than could puts you; or to others in peril, or can makes you sick; in the medium and long term.

…Learn to be calm, when uncertainty strikes: Our Ancestors, were more psychic than us; for being so close to nature, and even them... Couldn't avoid that feeling in the mouth of the stomach, of not knowing what to do for lacking of not seeing the future/past, sometimes; when they needed it the most. (If they could survive, after that; we than are descendents of them... We will make it, too!)

That's all in this post: May we always know what to do, for ourselves and for others; whether if we can see into the future, or not... So Be It!

[walkingwiththegods1]

Guabancex's Song to Yocahu: The Split of The Sky and The Earth (The First Caribbean's Divorce!) Canción de Guabancex a Yocahu: La Separacion del Cielo y La Tierra [¡El Primer Divorcio del Caribe!])

I've had this song in my head since May, so; for to keep my sanity... I will publish it: It is with the same rhythm and music as with Musical Session #53 with Shakira (which sounds like a song, that Guabancex would like to be sung to someone who... Isn't in her affections, anymore!) I leave it, with two letters: First, it is in Spanish; and, more down the post... The English translation, with the meaning of a few words; so you can understand the whole song. And now: Song from Guabancex to Yocahu (...Rap Version!)

Spanish Version

(Uh, uh, uh, uh)

(Para alguien, como tú)

(Uh, uh, uh, uh)

Ah-oh

(Uh, uh, uh, uh)

(Para alguien, como tú)

(Uh, uh, uh, uh)

Perdón, yo te digo Adios

Resultaste ser un mal...

Marido y dios

Yo que espere, para darte mi Amor

Y resultaste ser...

De todos... ¡El PEOR!...

Perdon, Nene: Tu ya eres pasado

Perdon, Baby... ¡Ya hemos terminado!

Una chica como yo, no es para ingrato'

¡Una Diosa como yo, no está para alguien como tú!; uh, uh, uh, uh

Para alguien como tú, uh, uh, uh, uh

Tu me traicionaste

Y, ahora estás; con una igual que tú, uh, uh, uh, uh

Ah-oh, oh-oh

Que lo que me has dicho, ahora te mortifique'

Y que lo que más hecho, ahora te salpique'

No vuelvas más

Pa' que La Eternidad, no se te compliquе'

No es mi culpa que cada hija e hijo nuestros

Ahora te critique

Si usted fue el traidor de los dos:

¡Aguantese su!... ¡Piqué!...

Me dejaste por tu suegra

Con los niños llorando en la puerta, y problemas en nuestras tierras

Creíste que me destruiste, pero escucha mi arenga:

Las Diosas, primero lloran; pero... Luego, ¡SE VENGAN!

Atabey... Tan buena, y atenta...

¿Atabey?... ¡No es lo que aparenta!

Atabey... ''Tan buena, y atenta...''

Atabey...

Es igualita que tú, uh, uh, uh, uh

Para alguien como tú, uh, uh, uh, uh

Tu me traicionaste

Y, ahora estás, con una igual que tú; uh, uh, uh, uh

Ah-oh, oh-oh

Debiste tomar un mejor paso

Pero eso ya no viene al caso

Ella se parece a mi

…¡Usted no hizo ningún reemplazo!

Actuando asi, te abocas al fracaso

Ni entiendo que paso contigo

Ahora me lo encuentro divertido

Cambiaste un Casino por un Bingo

Cambiaste un Sabado por un Domingo

Ve despacio, y date un espacio

Ah, bastante reacio

Pero trabaja tu Sentido Comun también

Ojos por donde me ven

Me siento como un Burén

Ya todo esta bien:

Yo te desalojo... ¡MAÑANA!

Y si la traes aquí, ¡Le hago lo mismo tambien!...

Atabey... Tan buena, y atenta... (uh, uh, uh, uh)

¿Atabey?... ¡No es lo que aparenta! (uh, uh, uh, uh)

Atabey... ''Tan buena, y atenta...'' (uh, uh, uh, uh)

...¡Indudablemente, que ahora estás!...

Con alguien igual que tú, uh, uh, uh, uh

Para un, malvado igual que tú; uh-uh-uh-uh

Tu me traicionaste

Y, ahora estás, con una igual que tú; uh, uh, uh, uh

Ah-oh, oh-oh

(Uh, uh, uh, uh)

Para alguien, pa'-pa'-pa' alguien como—

(Uh, uh, uh, uh)

(Uh, uh, uh, uh)

Para alguien, pa'-pa'-pa' alguien como—

(Uh, uh, uh, uh)

Tu me traicionaste

Y, ahora estás, con una igual que tú; uh, uh, uh, uh

Ah-oh, oh-oh

¡Ya, Adios!

English Version

Uh-uh-uh-uh)

(For someone, like you)

(Uh-uh-uh-uh)

Ah-oh

(Uh-uh-uh-uh)

(For someone, like you)

(Uh-uh-uh-uh)

Sorry, I say you goodbye

You turned out to be a bad...

Husband and god

I waited to give you my love

And you turned out to be...

Of all... The WORST!...

Sorry, Nene: You are already the past

Sorry, Baby... We are done!

A girl like me is not for the ingrateful.

A Goddess like me, is not for someone like you!; uh, uh, uh, uh

For someone like you, uh, uh, uh, uh

You betrayed me

And, now you are; with one just like you, uh, uh, uh, uh

Ah-oh, oh-oh

May what you told me, now mortify you'

And may what you did to me, now will splashs you'

Don't return more

So that Eternity, doesn't get complicated for you

Is not my fault that every daughter and son of ours

Now criticizes you

If you are the traitor of the two of us:

Grab on, your!... Piqué!...

You left me for your Mother-in-law

With the children crying at the door, and troubles in our lands

You believed than you destroyed me, but listen to my harangue:

The Goddesses, first they cry; but... Then, THEY GET REVENGE!

Atabey... So good, and attentive

Atabey?... It's not what she seems!

Atabey... ''So good, and attentive...''

Atabey...

She's just like you, uh, uh, uh, uh

For someone like you, uh, uh, uh, uh

You betrayed me

And, now you are with someone just like you; uh, uh, uh, uh

Ah-oh, oh-oh

You should have taken a better step.

But that is no longer relevant.

She looks like me

You didn't make any replacement!

By acting like this, you are setting yourself up for failure.

I don't even get what happened to you

Now I find it funny

You changed a Casino for a Bingo

You changed a Sabado for a Domingo

Go slow, and give yourself space

Ah, quite reluctant

But work TOO in your common sense.

Eyes where they see me

I feel like a Burén

All is now well:

I'll evict you... TOMORROW!

And if you bring her, I'll do the same thing to her too!...

Atabey... So good, and attentive (uh, uh, uh, uh)

Atabey?... It's not what she seems! (uh,uh,uh,uh)

Atabey... ''So good, and attentive...'' (uh, uh, uh, uh)

...Without a doubt, that you are now!...

With someone just like you, uh, uh, uh, uh

For an evil one like you; uh-uh-uh-uh

You betrayed me

And, now you are with someone just like you; uh, uh, uh, uh

Ah-oh, oh-oh

(Uh-uh-uh-uh)

For someone, for'-for'-for' someone like—

(Uh-uh-uh-uh)

(Uh-uh-uh-uh)

For someone, for'-for '-for' someone like—

(Uh-uh-uh-uh)

You betrayed me

And, now you are with someone just like you; uh, uh, uh, uh

Ah-oh, oh-oh

Enough, Bye!

Meaning of Words related to the Song

Nene: Spanish word of affection used for male infants, or said for a woman to her male couple.

Piqué: Spanish word about a terrible temporal rage, when someone do or say a bad thing to you.

Atabey: Primordial Taíno Goddess, Mother of Guabancex. Yocahu sided with her, which caused his divorce from Guabancex; and an undying feeling of hatred between Yocahu and Guabancex.

Sabado: Spanish for Saturday.

Domingo: Spanish for Sunday.

Burén: Big flat stone supported by three or four round stones, with burning coals or firewood under it; used for The Tainos to put ground yucca or mandioca in flat circles; to make Cassava's bread. (Used today in some rural places of The Caribbean's Islands, to do this special bread.)

[walkingwiththegods1]

Pagan Misconceptions Clarified: Why Guabancex, is NOT; "Only The Goddess of The Hurricanes, than menaces to The Caribbean; every year?!"

    I'll be honest, with all of you: This is the only of my series of posts, than I wasn't so happy to write; but... I feel forced to write it, 'cause as someone than was born and growed in The Caribbean; (And the first time I met Guabancex, she helped me to get out of a very horrid situation) well... I am like least say, "The closest person in Earth, to who she manifest in ways than people can't even imagine" Saying that... This is the last of my "Pagan Misconceptions Clarified" than I would do for a while, hoping than you will learn a lot about each Deity than are close to me; and than the trouble than took me to write this particular post, will be worthy for the reader; if you someday decides to live in this misterious lands, so you can be better prepared. With all of this say: Let's get started!

   Guabancex, is The Taino Goddess of The Hurricanes; and even thought many people think this is her only Dominion, she was a very important Deity for The Arawaks across all The Islands of The Caribbean; since The Lesser Antilles, Bahamas; The South tip of Florida, and of course; The Great Antilles, where The Tainos developed the most advanced civilization of The Caribbean. Guabancex, is much more than The Goddess of the destructive storms called Hurricanes; and after you ended to read this post, not only will you know what other powers she have; but... You will know the secret of why she was the most important female Deity in Taino Culture, and why she was extremely feared for them; and why we should have a bit of respect and feared her, today...

   Guabancex, according to Arawak/Taino Myth... Is the Daughter of Atabey, (The Mother Goddess of Fertility, than was the first being to exist; and was totally alone in The Void) and is the sister of five other supreme beings; including Itiba Cahibaba, (Her only sister) and Yocahu; (The other supreme being, than Tainos gave the same importance than to Guabancex) Guabancex, was born without a father; equally as her brothers and sister, and she is in a constant conflict with Yocahu; 'cause Yocahu sided with Atabey. Her symbol, is an angry face with the arms stretched in opossite directions like a ''S'; and her name, have different meanings; in Taino's Language, than may means: ''Mistress of The Hurricanes'', ''Mistress of The Wind and Water''; or... ''Lady of The Winds''.

   The myth about Guabancex's relation with the Hurricanes, is this: A female Cemí than lives in a country of the Chieftain Aumatex, and she controls the winds; and people gave her offerings of food to appeased her, but... When this failed, she get out of her place always angry; and calls to her two assistants: Gautauba, (her herald than announces the arrival of Guabancex with the hurricane, by blowing a fotuto [Hollow seashell with holes, to makes music with it]) and Coastriquie; (The Cemí of The Sea, than controls water and causes flash floodings) and she started to tell to the other Cemies, (Plural for Cemí) to help her with her destructive labor; and she started to blow the winds more stronger and violent, and she began to spiral joining the waters of Coastriquie with the thunder and lightning of Gautauba; she releases the winds and waters, which finally destroys to everything in their path.

    Guabancex, is too: The Goddess of The Winds and Breeze, The Goddess of The Rain; and... The Only Female Cemí and The Ruler of The Cemies!

    The Goddess of The Winds and Breeze: Tainos, depended so much of good weather to fish; and, to have a day of less agobiant heat; so they prayed to Guabancex to have a calm enough so they could have fish to eat, and a refreshing day to do their chores more easily!

    The Goddess of The Rain: The no. 1 activity of Taino's Economy, was Agriculture; which means than they depended of fresh clear water for their plantations, to make possible the survival of their families and communities. Even when they tended to go to Yocahu; (The Taino God of Vegetation, and The God of their Principal Food: The Yucca's Root) to have a succesful harvest... To makes that to happen, they depended completely of The Rain; so they used to prayed a lot to Guabancex, so plants could grow; so they could have their food on the table!

    The Only Female Cemí and The Ruler of The Cemies: Cemí, was the name than recieved the minor Deities in The Taino Pantheon; and Guabancex, stand out for being the only female Cemí; but... She was called too, "The Most Powerful of all The Cemies''; and... She was so powerful and feared for the other Deities, than the other Cemies; (Plural for Cemí) did what she commanded, at once!

    Guabancex's importance resides in two things: The first, as a very fierce Deity; she was one of the most followed Taino's Gods in The Caribbean, to the point than The most Powerful and Rich Cacique (Chieftain in Taino) of The Hispaniola; it was said than he was a follower of this Deity. Because The Tainos depended heavily in fair weather, for most of their daily tasks; and Hurricanes were feared not only for the destruction they left, but too; for the disease and famine they left behind, so appeased the fury of Guabancex was essential for The Tainos could keep their almost idylic life. And, the second; is because Guabancex... Was the Mother of The Taino People, with Yocahu!

    One Spaniard recorded, than Guabancex's Followers; people of all the ages with an adorn on their forehead with an angry face in it; used to peregrinate outdoors, and for a moment they stoped to walk, and started to put angry expressions on their own faces; as a way to show their devotion to her, before to start to walk again to their next stop.

    And, now... Why Guabancex was so feared by The Arawak/Taino people?! The only way to understand this part, is going back in time; when Spaniards arrived to The Caribbean, more than 530 years ago: Columbus and his crew, encountered in The Hispaniola; (The island than today shares Haiti and The Dominican Republic) with a Chieftain called Guacanagarix, (to who he befriended, after Guacanagarix rescued to Columbus and his people; of the Sinking of Columbus's Main Ship, The Santa Maria) and decides to lived there for the rest of his plan of Conquest. Guacanagarix, informed to Columbus of anything; including about an phenomenon, called Hurricane, than was the worst possible storm ever. Columbus, doesn't have to wait much; to found it: Two hurricanes hitted The Hispaniola's town of Isabela, and the destruction was so grave; than Columbus had to abandon the first Spanish Settlement, forever. At the passing of time, (after The Tainos were almost extinted...) people got interested in their language; including the meaning behind the word Hurricane. Hurricane, means in Arawak/Taino; "Wind of The Gods", 'cause Taino believed than the same where a punishment of The Gods sended for doing evil, from... Yes, you guessed it: Guabancex!...  

    But, now you may think: "Why the free lesson of History and Native American Language, here?!...'' As someone said, once: ''Patience, is a virtue!'', and... I say now, why I did this!

    Hurricane, was thoughted to being only the name for the storm; and... It was thoughted too, than the Taino God Hurakan; (The Caribbean God... Not The Mayan God!) was the one than rules over this element... The thing is, than after many studies; we got the conclusion, than The God Hurakan, NEVER was the one than mades and sended the hurricane, but it was Guabancex; the one than sended it all this time. And, not only that: She is the one than give orders to Hurakan to helped her, in her destructive mission!  

    But, this is not the only surprising finding about Guabancex; and her relation with the Hurricane...

   The Tainos, left their presence in language today; with many words than passed to Spanish; English, and into many languages in The World; and with a combination of language and research, it came another conclusion than is very frightening about The Hurricane, and Guabancex: Hurricane, is not only the name for the storms in the Caribbean... According with some stories left at the time of The Conquest in The Caribbean, The Tainos named too; as Hurricanes, to: Earthquakes, Tsunamis; Droughts, Volcanic Eruptions, Floods, Mudslides; Landslides, Storm Surges, Riverine Flooding, High Winds; Flash Floods, Wildfires, Severe Local Storms, Strong Winds; (and, in rare ocasions; Tornadoes, Hailstorms; Lightning Storms, Waterspouts, Sinkholes, Heat Waves... And Cold Waves.) Yes... This is the creepiest truth, about Guabancex: She rules, over ALL THE DESTRUCTIVE PHENOMENONS; THAN OCURRS IN THE CARIBBEAN! (If you want to scream, you can do it now: I was too scared, after knowing this a few years ago; than I couldn't scream at all!)

   Now all you know, with who I have to deal with: She is the only Deity, than my relation is not very good; but... I'm not the kind of person than will left to others, the brunt than entails having a Deity like her; in their life. (After all, I'm still somehow grateful of her; even if I'm not very fond of her, or... Of her methods!)

    Curious Fact: Two years before the arrival of Spaniards to The Hispaniola, Guarionex; (one of the most powerful Caciques in the Island), recieved a vision of a Cemí, than told him than the profecy than left Yocahu before to leave to his children; The Tainos, ''Than one day will came men, with skin of the color of the clouds in the days of sun; than will destroyed to their poor descendents'' It was about to happen: It was said than the Cemí than tried to prepare to The Tainos, to avoided the sad fate than fell over them; was Guabancex. (I can't imagine how she felt, when all of them were enslaved; killed or died for the brutal and merciless explotation of the Spaniards, and than before they died... They converted to a new religion, and before to die; they started to behave worse than ever!)

   The thousands of Spaniard Ships, than are sunk in the deep of The Caribbean; today, was the response of not only a Deity; than losed to all her followers: She was a mother than losed too, TO ALL HER SONS AND DAUGHTERS! (If you have a family member, or someone than you love as family; and is near of you, a day after the date when Spain legalized the cruel repartations of Tainos in The Caribbean; many centuries ago... Send them a message telling them how important they are for you, or; if you have them at the reach of your arms; please gives them a hug. [Is only when we read things like this, than we starts to apreciate what is really important in our lifes!])

   The mayority of The Caribbean people than lives today, have mostly forgot their Arawak/Taino heritage; and what is more, of the Myths of The First Inhabitants; but, by my own experiences I can tell you than Guabancex's presence is real; and she still have power in her Lands. If you ever live in The Caribbean, remember than her only demand; is not doing evil to any person and living being, while you are there. (For what I have seen... She has not mercy with abusers, bullies; violent people, people than do harm willfully to family or friends, or... Than hurt intentionally to the innocents!)

    And this is all, about The Taino Goddess of The Winds, Breeze; Rain and Hurricanes, than have Absolute Power over all The Caribbean: Guabancex!

    Have all of you a Life, where you can always be in good terms with The Deities, in any land you were born, travel or lives... So Be It!

[walkingwiththegods1]

Why you shouldn't never rushed yourself in received help, or in working with a Deity. (Specially... When you barely know Her/Him/Them, and you are in your worst moment; Ever!)

    This?!... Wasn't easy to wrote: This is the kind of things, than people tends to put under the rug; and pretends than doesn't exist, and expected to never speak about it again; 'cause you will never solves nothing, with speaking to others of what you know; BUT... With my birthday so close, (I'm Aquarius!) well... Maybe is time to left this behind, and maybe I will help to any young Pagan; young Wiccan or young Witch, to avoid the mistake I did; than even if the results wasnt’t 100% so horrible, I'm aware than for many others; for not knowing what they were doing... They have to deal with the dire consecuences of letting a powerful being, to being part of your life; only to found out they wasn't ready to be near to a being, than with they have little to none compatibility with your energy; or with your way of being; at all...

        This is the story, of how I let the first Deity to enter into my life; and how it changed, into a 180° degrees!

         At 10 years old, I was a normal child; (except for the ocassional depression, and than I suffered of having nightmares almost all the time; since I was 6) and the only things than occupied my innocent mind, was behaving well; have friends, being nice with any person, help with domestic chores, and keeping my good grades. After finishing 4th Elementary, I went to Summer Vacations; expecting to see again to my dear classmates, and than life will stay always like that... But was exactly in that Summer, my life tooks a turn into the worst: A older relative, did something unnamable to me... And I never back to be the same child than thoughted than my house, (Or The World) was a safe place for me!

   When I returned to the Private Christian School, I thoughted than at least here; my classmates will treated me as family, and than this was my only safe place in The World... When I entered that first day of September through the door, I said Hi with the little joy I have left; but... The reaction of my classmates, was very different: They turned towards me in their desks, with an expression in their eyes; than caused me chills and I felt suddenly frightened. (Why that change, when until I came back; we were so close?!... I didn't know it for a while, but I will talk about it; later) The only classmates than saluted me with fraternal afection, were two girls; than told me to don't make any case to the rest of the class, which mades me felt less scared; and they continue to speaked and play with me... (...Two months later, I enter one day to the classroom; and those two girls, were looking at me, with that same horrible expression; and I knew it, in that instant: I have no friends here, anymore... I was TOTALLY ALONE!...)

   (You make think, than is not important to tell this; but you wouldn't understand the rest of the post, if I don't put how bad my life was; than I take a drastic decision, so... I will continue with this story: Only telling the things as it happens, can be used to learn something.)

    My classmates, ignored me in recess; and they had forbids me to play with them, to the point of even pushed me until I fall over the unpolished cement floor of the Private School Yard, (in case you never knew how that feels: It hurts, like hell...) and hearing their laughters; while they saw me trying to stand again, without using my hands to avoid more harm to my hands, and when I fell over my knees; well... It felt like thousands of little needles, and I avoid to scream at all cost; 'cause they will used that to calling me names, and for me... The fall was enough. The time passed, and they wasn't anymore conformed to making me feel ''Invisible...''; so they started to threating me with hitting me, which happened a few weeks later. (It was a classroom with 57 students, including me; and I was the younger and weaker, so... Yeah: I never had a day, where I was free to being bullied by a few of them!)

    At 11 years old, during a Biology Class; I found out finally, what that older relative really did to me; and I felt disgusted, scared; and finally, infuriated: He taked advantage of my total lack of knowledge and innocence, and than I believed than he will never harmed me in any way; and I realizes how low this person was... When I confronted him about it, enraged in how he lied to me; things turned to the worst too in the house, and since then... I was living violence in my house, too.

    Nobody knew in that moment, what I was living in the house; 'cause my notes never dropped in a way than will causes alarm to any of my parents: They just knew than I wanted to be change to another School, but my pleas wasn't taked seriously for both of my parents; so I went to the only person than I thoughted than could helped me: The Director.  She was too my teacher, and promised than she will talked to my classmates; to stopped their attacks against me, which gave me the reassurance than at least in School; things will be better. The next day, she told us to prepared to go to recess; but before, she had something important to said: I felt very hopeful, until she said something I don't remember well, but not than my classmates leaved me alone. I thoughted than maybe at the time of leaving classes for that day, or the next day; she will speaked on my behalf. And, at the time of leaving... Nothing. And the next day... For the rest of the week, the next week... And after two months of that, I losed all hope. (I went to the Sub-Director, but he wasn't of help; neither: It seems than he have the same posture, as his wife; The Director!)

     At some point, they decided than pulling my hair; telling me names; humilliating me, putting their foot so I trip, slaping my face, throwing my backpack to the floor; stomping my foot or pushing me to the ground, insult me or scaring me; wasn't enough to them. One day, all the girls and boys of the Class, (Two stopped of study there) before I went to recess they told me; when there wasn't any adult around, than they will kill ME! (I was terrified to death: I knew them capable of that!) I told it to The Director, to my Parents, to The Subdirector; but... The Director and her Husband, didn't moved a finger for me; my own father told me I have to stay there, and my mother told me than she couldn't fix my troubles... I felt totally alone, AGAIN! (And with that older relative doing me things I prefer don't put in written word, or speaked in a loud voice... I fell into a deep depression, and I even tried to ended it all... With not success, obviously.)

    At 11 years old... I was living... In... HELL!

    At 12 years old, with the constant threat of being killed by my classmates; than were all 13 years old, (and than two years ago, were like the brothers and sisters; than never mistreated me) feeling low and scared like never before, having nightmares every single day, and with something worst waiting for me at home, when my parents and my other siblings leaved the house... I felt like I would losed my mind, or... Than my life will be ended in any moment, which deppressed me more: ''It will be my classmates, or... Will be this demon, than I can't see as a relative; anymore!'' I was totally hopeless, and only waiting the worst...

    One day of November, the class had to speaked about the first inhabitants of The Caribbean Islands; and, ''As Destiny has it...''; the ones in my group assigned me the part of Religion, 'cause they didn't want to read that much, and they knew I could handle that boring information, they said; after putting the book over my chest, in a harsh manner. I made my presentation, speaking on The Tainos's Beliefs System, including their Gods and Goddessess; and... When I spoked the name of Guabancex, I felt something weird: Even after I finished to exposed my part, and was sent to seat with my group; the sensation stay with me, for a little longer than expected...

    A few weeks later, in that November; I was putting my books, notebooks and my pencils's case; inside my backpack, after The Director said than we had to go to Recess; and when I was going to the door, to pass to the next Classroom, before going to the Private School's yard... A group of my classmates blocked the door with their bodies, and when I look behind me; they started to surrounded me, and that was where I start to panicked: I saw than there weren't any Teacher, and The Director wasn't near of me in any manner... ''They're going to KILL ME!'', was my only thought in that moment. The only thing than ocurred me, was going to a little room; inside my classroom, (where all the broken or rusted desks; were put to send them to repair, or to disposed them later) in the hopes to found somewhere to escaped. I runned quickly to the left, seeing than none of them was blocking that side; and with my long fingers, I started to move between the rusty and broken desks; searching an entrance, I got deeper inside and after moving through 2 ½ meters of broken and rusty desks... I found only a solid cement wall, and not a single door to escaped; neither a window. I turned around to runned over the desks we used, but I could only runned enough to found that they blocked the desks too; and they finally surrounded me. I felt exhausted for trying to escaped inside that tiny room, and my classroom; we only had space enough between us and The Teacher/Director, to allow a few persons to being stand without tripping to each other, so... I had only one meter free, and my classmates were getting nearer by the second; and the only thing I did, was lower my face totally sad and more scare than ever; 'cause I was sure than I will die in matter of moments. I backed to rise my head, and I decided than even if their faces scared me the most; I didn't want to leave this world remembering that, so I look to the little holes in the wall; despite I only saw light and the sky throught them...

   But something happened: Moments after looking at the light, I lowed my sight to them... And they started to walked away from me, while they gasped; and when I saw they unblocked the only exit, I runned away of their murderous sight; before they could grabbed me, and I left; not before hearing one of them said to me, than they were afraid of me...

      I was back at home, feeling desmoralized and more alone than never; when, in the darkness of my room... She appeared: A woman than looked as of 25 years old, with a medium thight Native American petticoat made of cotton; with jewels of gold from her ankles till her head, a white cape made of cotton, with very pale skin, dark brown eyes; walking with a elegance and security like she owned the place, and with hair than was the longest and darkest I ever saw in my life! (So dark than at moments, seemed than her flowing hair; blended and confused with the darkness) She don't have to said nothing, 'cause I knew she wasn't human, but her energy was the stronghest I ever felt in my life: It didn't felt like the spirits I used to see or feel before, back then... Who was she?!

   ''I Am Guabancex: Goddess of The Hurricanes and The Most Powerful and only Female Cemi!'' She said in a femenine voice, than weirdly sounded like mixed with thunder. ''And I came to help you, to get rid of anyone than had hurt you!''

    I was excited for a moment to hear someone, (Or, something...) came to my help! I spend one year praying to the Christian God, but I gave up when it seems I wasn't worthy of his help; (And, I have readed ''The Book'' enough... To realizes than maybe being a woman, was EXACTLY the reason he didn't listen or care; about my horrid personal issues, or my pain...) but when I was to accept her help, I retrieved the hand I was stretching toward her...

    Me: ''Wait... (Looking suspiciously, at her) ...How I know, I don't going to ended in a worst trouble?! I don't know if I should accept your help: I don't know you, except for my class of History; and the little I know about you... Is not good!...''

   Guabancex: ''Everybody have left, or betrayed you! I'm your only choice. If you don't take my hand... What happened today, could happened tomorrow; and they will kill you... Or, you will be killed one day, in your own house. I Am the only one than is going to help you, and you have to take my hand; if you want to live... (Extending her pale hand toward me)

    At first, I doubted in taking her hand; but... What choices, I REALLY had?!... My parents, disregard my security and said I was lying, so despite they said I was ''The most beloved of their children...'' They didn't even tried to put me in a safest place. The Director, (After I helped her to got more money and prestige, when I helped her two years ago to gave classes to my now enemies...) When they started to bullied me, She didn't move a single finger for my safety; and I realized than, when she told me I was ''Her most beloved student...'' It was only from the mouth out, and she looked to the other way. I had not friends, 'cause I was isolated by my father than stupidly thoughted I will be safe, if I only studied and stayed at home; and... My older relative, someone than I knew all my life; than with I used to play and talked... Betrayed my trust, and told me things I kid shouldn't never hear; of someone than is supposed  to love you as family, threat me to hurt to the ones I love; and than I feared and despised in that time, and I rejected to had him near of me; (even today) and... I don't wanted to die... Not in that way, NOT WHEN I WAS ONLY A KID!

    I grabbed her hand, and she mades me a little smile; before to disappear, not knowing the way she will used to help me to get out of my troubles...

    After she left, I replayed the horrible events of my almost death; and then, I starts to remember how I loved my classmates, than I help them to pass the course, how the idea to saw them again help me to deal with the abuse at home, how horrible I felt when they changed so much with me; how without reason the violence and bullying started against me, and how all the adults left me to defended myself; and I almost die in the hands of people than, my only crime was were too nice to them...

     …Then ...I started to felt something inside of me, I never felt before in my entire life: Anger, and Desire of Revenge!

    The next day, I just wait there wasnt an adult near of me; (And like if I knew how to fight, myself...) I grabbed to the first teen delinquent of my classroom, and I leave him surprised and with a lot of pain; and when I went to the schoolyard, I procceed with the rest of those idiots; including the teenage girls than pleaded me with tearing eyes ''To not to hurt them, 'cause they were women... Just like, ME!'' (Funny: They NEVER REMEMBERED THAT, when they spend two years pulling my hair; joking about my hairstyle, mocking me for my hair; and joyfully slapping my face, 'till making me cried...) For making this part, short... I did that to each one of the bullies, until all of them were too scared; to even looking at me. In one of those moments... The Director caughted me, but she didn't said nothing to my parents: If she had reporte me, she will have to admit to my parents; than I changed so much, thanks than she never do something to stopped the bullying; and all her beloved reputation ''As a Teacher/Director, of the one of the few decent Private School of The Neighborhood, AND... As a Christian Woman!'', will ended in pieces. (I never backed to that place, once I was changed to a Public School; and... I never will! And, my mother told me years ago; than this Director, had the bad costume of left children to being bullied; so they would learned to defend themselves: What. a.... Psychopath!)

    Eventually, I did the same against the older relative; and he didn't have any other choice, than leaved me alone.

    It sounds than everything went well for me, thanks to her help. And it was! Except, for one little detail: She never said, what she really wanted for me... (Or, than she wasn't staying with me; ''Only for a while...'')

    I started to feel weird, and seeing her two faces; in my dreams: One face, was the face she showed me; than looks like an Angel of dark eyes and hair, BUT... The other face, well... If wasn't something I want to left wrote here, but I was really scared; and after many months, the dreams stopped, but she came in person to told me; than she will back again, after I found out something nobody else will knew; to probe me she was real. I just laughed and said she was lying, so she dissappeared in thin air; thinking I will never saw her again, and thinking she was only my imagination; or... The despair attempt of my mind to keep me sane. (Or... Because I was a few months to turn 13... She was, ''My last imaginary friend, and my farewell to Childhood...'')

     My country was hitted by a hurricane, when I was 15 years old: I was warned by Guabancex, than the Impact will by imminent, and the next day; The Hurricane slammed my island. (It was her way to said to me to stopped to being ''So incredulous about her...'')

     I was 15 years old, when in the middle of a class in Highschool; one of my classmates, said something during the exposition of the Contributions of The Different Races to our Country; than she said something than gives me, ''The Chills'': The information than Guabancex told me almost 3 years ago... Was real! I was paled, and after they gave us recess; everybody asked me if I was okay, and the only thing I did; was pretend I was okay...

    ...She told me the truth, and she is REAL: No... I wasn't, Okay!

    When I was backed home, when I was sure I was alone at home; to finally saw her getting out of the darkness of my room, with the same smile she gave me; when I accepted her help, and that was where I realized than when I grabbed her hand, I accepted her to stay with me; for the rest of my life. (GREAT... ¬ _ ¬ )

     In general: I got out mostly well, with my relation with Guabancex; and thanks to her, not only I'm here today; but too, I met other Deities than she presented to me: Taino Gods and Goddessess, and later; Gods of other parts of the World, except for a few than came of their own. Is a good relation, really... (When I forget than she too exudes negative energy I had finally now get used to, give me visions than feels too real; and the many times we foughted for the way she wants me to resolved troubles in my life, while I prefer to don't used violence, except if I'm in danger of being killed or hurt; or when my almost endless patience with the people than is mean to me... Finally ends!)

    And, this is my story: I was, in ''a very F***** Up, moment of my life!'', and even if everything was okay at the end... I wished I hasn't made what I did when I wasn't feeling well, or in a moment of deep despair. Now I have a Deity I don't know if I would want in my life, if she presented to me under other circunstances: This why I speaked of this, to all the young Pagans; Wiccans and Witches out there, to only accepts to work or get help from a Deity, when you know enough about said Deity. Another reason of this advise, is than is hard to interacts with a powerful being; whose character and energy; differs so much of my own.

    I have met dozens of Deities, and ironically; The only one than belongs to the place I was borne... I have a divine-mortal relation, than looks more like a ''Love-Hate Relation''. (And with that, I mean, ''Less Love... And a bit more of HATE, of my part!...'') 

   Than your relations with Deities, start when you want it in your Heart; and with the right foot... So Be It!

[walkingwiththegods1]

Two Ominous Visions... From The Goddess of The Hurricanes (A warning for any person than lives in Florida)

I had two visions in June 1, and after almost two months of not knowing if post about them; (and now remembering how bad things were when Fiona striked The Caribbean, and how only a few people sadly died in my nation; for not taking this hurricane, seriously...) I decided to post it anyway, 'cause maybe someone takes these visions; as seriously as I feel them, and... I could at least save to a few lives.

This was the first of two visions, sended to me by Guabancex:

I was dressed like her, walking near a coast where all the boats were on land away of the sea by a few meters; and with the bottom of the boat turned at the sky. The Pier, had a few chunks of cement ripped off; and when I walked inside the land, there were malls and houses destroyed too by the forces of the winds; nobody at sight and the breeze as my only companion, like if I was in a ghost town. Then, I heared only a name; from a bodiless female voice, the name of the land hitted by total destruction: Florida.

And, the second vision; was as it follows:

She was like I always saw her dressed, but... In a big ring, like she was a wrestler of the WWF; (walking slowly and bragging about the destruction than only she, is able to bring) and the place was full of people screaming enthusiastically in their innocent and fun spectacle, until... She looked directly where the entire world could literally saw her, and she said in a cold voice and with an stern face; than ''For all the bad things done in this place, I will send a hurricane than will look likes is the end of the world; 'cause the ones than are ruling there, has to be punish for using their power; to punishes to innocent people who doesn't deserve it!...'' Then, she just dropped the mic to the floor, with an wrathful expression in her face, and then; everyone in the public stopped speaking and/or laughing... There was a deadly silence, in the air. Florida: That's the name of that land.

Guabancex is really furious for the horrible laws than were enable in that place (You know: The ones than discriminate people, and others than will endanger innocent lives in that land; meaning all the laws than makes you feel sick and/or scare you, with only think in any of them), and she told me than she will send a major hurricane to Florida: If you, or a loved one lives there; and a hurricane category 3 or more, could arrive soon in Florida... You have only one day, to take to your loved ones, food; water, their documents and first aid kit; and leave to a safer place: I hope this is one of those visions than never happens, but; if a major hurricane is near Florida, then please be careful; and... Just LEAVE. (Better being wrong, than sorry!...)

Scientists had predicted in the last weeks, than this Hurricane's Season ('cause the record warming of the sea, the extreme heat cause by ''El Super Niño''; and the typical appearance of more storms in August til October) could see between two; to five major hurricanes; which means than at least one of these storms, could became a serious threat to People in all The Caribbean, including Florida: Let's continue to watch to the sea... Til November, 30!

Good luck to all The People and Pagans in Florida, and remember than Florida is under Guabancex's Domains and Power; so just check if you have to replace something in your Emergency's Kit now, (That includes to buy that extra box of medicine, two extra little bottles of drinkable water; and have a few hundreds in cash keep near of you, just in case the AMT's are not working; or are far of you) so you can be less stressed out when the evacuation become imminent; and than you only thought, is saving the only thing of real worth: Your life... And the lives of all the people than you care, and/or you can reach.

Than this visions be of the ones, than never turns into a reality... So Be It!

[walkingwiththegods1]

Why not feeling to Gods or Spirits, at all... Is not really a bad thing?!  (Or... Why the contrary, is sometimes a real problem!)

  I readed a few notes a few weeks ago, of people talking of feeling left behind or insecure; because they can't feel to The Gods, so I decided to wrote my experience; so they doesn't feel that way, because at least; all that can't feel The Gods, are the vast majority; and the rest of the Pagans said that they can really contact to Deities, but mostly speaked of the good side. I’m not very vocal about me, and neither of my personal experiences; but, by knowing the pain of my fellow pagans; I decided to left my apprehension behind: I will speak of the not so lovely parts, today.

   I'm a Psychic, since I can remember: I can see Spirits since I was very little, and with the pass of time; I started to feel energies, and being affected by them.

  The First Deity that contacted me, was Artemis; that never leaves me alone in my house, while my brothers and sister played far from me; and I feel less afraid around her. Many years later, the second Deity that contacted me; was Loki. (I didn't knew it in that moment: He had to saves me six years later, to realizes that the voice I hearded when a was a very unhappy kid; giving me courage while I was looking to Sirius, was his!) The third Deity that appeared in my life, was a Goddess from The Caribbean; that helps me to defend myself; when both the private school and my house, were turned for me; in hell! By the time I was 17 years old, I have already 12 Deities that regurlarly; contacted me. The reasons of why they passed from unexpected guesses, to permanently staying; are an complete mistery to me, till this day. (...Maybe is because, I never was a normal human being, by start...)

   But, in that time or today; well... "Not all is rosy!", as you may think: There is a Deity, that doesn't care if the moment to contacted me; is really a very bad timing for me, and; I had even pass some very unnerving moments, during that interventions. That Deity, has a name...

   ...That Deity, is called: Guabancex!

   The story of why The Goddess of The Hurricanes, contacts a simple mortal girl; is something I will tell in other day, but... What I can say, is that her energy is something that I can hardly ignore. It took me YEARS, to acted almost normal around other people; when she started to speaks to me, or started to mades me see visions of things to come; but, in the meantime... Many embarrasing moments. (People known or even unknown, asking me if I was okay; while she was around with this huge energy traspassing my body, or; when she was showing me," The next horrible disaster that will 100% strikes, and destroys everything... And, to anyone!")

   The worst moment, (And when I started to take measures) was 10 years ago...

   I was in a Medical Center, making some tests; and while I was waiting for my ticket number, while looking at the screen; it happens: Her energy, suddenly appearing; and the only thing I did, was pleading in my mind; "...Not here! ...Not in front of everybody!..." It didn't work: The vision she makes me saw, plus her energy; puts me in a weird state: Aware of the world around me, but... Aware of the vision, too! The worst part, is that I was seated inclined while this was happening; so nobody will saw that I was trembling enough, that to somebody with a sharp vision and close enough; could notices. A man in his mid 40's with glasses notices it, and asked me: "Are you, OK?!" (He looks alarmed... So do I!)  The only thing I could do, was a lie by saying to him: "I'm Okay! Just... I feel a bit cold, thanks!"

   After I backed to home, I feel awful: I hate lying, but telling the truth; wasn't a good idea, neither! What I could have said?! "I'm just in trance from visions of a Goddess, from a culture that died out more than 500 years ago?!" RIGHT... (...If I wanted to spend two or three days in jail accused of witchcraft, been locked for life in a Mental Facility; or... Been killed by some Christian Fanatic, that thinks that I talk with Demons!)  

   After I recovered a bit, I talked to her and told her; to "NEVER BACK TO DO THAT, AGAIN!" (It seems that works: I can still feels her energy and see her visions, when I far from home too; but... People never back to ask me if I'm ill, or to look at me in a suspicious way; again...)

   I have seen Evil Spirits too, mostly scaring me; chasing me, harrasing me; and even trying to ended my life, since I was a kid. (I will save you the horrible details, but I think this happened to me; because I'm able to feel Spirits, in ways that most people can't even imagine; and sadly... That turns me in a sort of "Spirits Magnet" for both, good and bad spirits)  

   The thing with Guabancex?!... Well... It really, SUCKS!  But... In my general terms, between number 1; (Not the worst thing that ever happen in my life) to 10, (the worst thing that ever happen in my life) then...  Is definitly, a 6!

   So, if you are dealing with the fact that you can't feel Spirits or Deities; and even started to feel a little envious or doubting of their love, then remember this: Better see them in sincronicities and with symbols while you are awake; or in your dreams, than having to train yourself to fake being "normal"; when the Spirits or Gods show up to you; while you are around of people, with the possibility that they will reacts badly against you; if they know that you have this kind of ability... Or being left alone or mocked, 'cause nobody wants to be around of, "The weird young that talks with Spirits!"

   ...We live in a World where, being different; is bad... And being weird, is still... "A sin!..."  

    Be grateful, if you can't feel The Spiritual World; so strongly: It means, that you can still hang out with your love ones; and do many things you love to do, and still be able to blends in The World; when you feel the need to be in it, too. (...Is something I don't know if I could ever have or do, someday.)

 Have a nice day in being different, unique; and in be perfectly you!.. So Be It!

[walkingwiththegods1]

I will take a short break...

   Three days ago, I recieved a vision of... (Sigh) ...Yes: Guabancex!  And, for the way she was in the vision; and her energy, it only means than a disaster; will hit soon: Yesterday, The Local Authorities said that the impact of a hurricane in my country; will be imminent. (That is the reason, I will have to leave for a few days; but... I will return to greets all of you, for Mabon: Luckily for me, I live many years ago in a house; that is resistent to hurricanes, and away of any body of water; but... I feared for those, that are not so lucky...)

    In the meantime, I will continue to work in my next posts; because I make a compromise with myself, to publish at least two or three posts for month; so you can use what I know for your benefit, and; in the same time... As a sacrifice of Love and Devotion, for The Gods and Goddesses... 

    So... Bye, for now!