#padme: excuse me he said he doesn’t like sand

[giveamadeuschohisownmovie]

I just had a thought. So, you know that infamous scene in Attack of the Clones where Anakin complains about sand and then kisses Padme? I’m wondering now if the scene would’ve landed better if the situation was reversed. Not the lines, but the kiss.

Anakin talks about his rough childhood, but then unintentionally flirts with Padme (the soft and smooth line). We can excuse this since Anakin is socially awkward and doesn’t really know how to talk to people. So, Anakin doesn’t interpret what he said as suggestive, but Padme does. Padme, thinking that the cute Jedi is hitting on her, leans in to kiss him. Anakin initially accepts, but then remembers he’s a Jedi. He breaks off the kiss and says they shouldn’t have done that.

With this rewrite, we establish:

1) Padme is as attracted to Anakin as Anakin is to her. This helps fix the problem that people had with the movie in that the romance seemed too one-sided.

2) It reaffirms that Anakin, despite his dark tendencies, is taking his Jedi vows seriously.

3) It makes more sense that the character who took a strict vow to avoid attachments is the one who breaks off the kiss.

4) It works better for Anakin’s story since he was “seduced” by the Dark Side. Not saying that Padme was seducing him or that she’s secretly a Sith Lord, but it works in that Anakin is someone who was tempted to break his vows by his own desires. He’s like a priest who falls in love, despite knowing that his vows are preventing him from getting married.

5) Maybe this is just me, but I feel that it makes more sense to portray Padme as the one pushing for the romance than Anakin. Padme is a rich politician, she doesn’t have the same restrictions in pursuing a partner that Anakin has. I mean, the justification the movie gave was that she’s a senator, which doesn’t really make sense. You can be a senator and still be married. Sure, she could be thinking that it’d be scandalous if people learned that she was dating a Jedi, but that’s more Anakin’s problem than her. Her political career could survive, Anakin’s Jedi career would be toast.

Also, Padme is someone who had guys pursuing her, thus it makes more sense she’s a lot more comfortable when it comes to romance. You can further justify this as Padme being someone who isn’t used to so many rules and restrictions over how to live her life, thus she doesn’t realize that Anakin is taking his vows seriously. Meanwhile, Anakin is someone who spent most of his childhood with his mom, Obi-Wan, and the Jedi Order, it makes more sense for him to be the one who doesn’t have romance on the mind. You can further justify this as Anakin is someone who never thought he’d even get the chance to fall in love because he grew up as a slave and then took on the Jedi vows.

[kebabcito]

[clonemando]

Star Wars Fun in the Sun Submission

This fic was written for @starwarsfandomfests “Summer Fun in the Sun” event. This event was really fun to participate in and I’m glad I joined in. I was given @anaisonfire to write for and chose to write some fluffy Jangobi for you with some bonding between Jango and the clones and Obi-Wan and young Boba. I hope you enjoy!

Find it on AO3 Here

.

.

The sound of the waves lapping at the sand of the beach and the feeling of warm sunlight against his bare skin had Obi-Wan almost dozing in his chair. It had been so long since he could just relax like this and soak in the beauty and sensations of a place instead of worrying about an attack but the war was finally over. A lucky break had come from Fox who had nearly faceplanted onto the council room floor in a combination of his haste to speak with them and complete exhaustion. He had overheard a conversation between Dooku and Palpatine revealing his plans and had recorded it on his helmet cam, giving the Jedi evidence against the now exposed Sith Lord. Dechipping started as soon as they located what it was Palpatine was talking about and within the month, the head had been cut off the snake. Without Palpatine’s funding, a lot of previously Separatist worlds returned to the Republic begging for another chance. Dooku was backed into a corner and he knew it, so he had willingly turned himself into the Jedi council, giving up information on Grievous that led to his capture and the droid army’s shutdown. Things still weren’t perfect. The flaws of the Republic were more obvious than ever. The corruption ran deeper than before. The Clones still didn’t have the rights they deserved.

“What has you frowning like that, cyare? We’re supposed to be on vacation.” Jango’s voice interrupted the downward turn his thoughts had taken and his lips turned up in a warm smile.

“Just thinking about the mess we are not supposed to be thinking about while here. The usual.” He said and Jango snorted when Obi-Wan looked over to soak in the sight of him. Despite seeing his face repeated a million times in the war, none looked quite as handsome as Jango’s own scarred appearance to him.

“That’s fair enough. I keep worrying about Boba.” Jango admitted looking out over where the 212th and 501st were all playing volleyball or splashing in the water or laying in chairs like Jango and Obi-Wan just soaking in the sun. Obi-Wan sighed. Boba was another issue they would have to figure out a solution to. Well, not Boba himself, but how to integrate him into the rest of the family.

“Where is he now?” Obi-Wan asked when he didn’t see the boy in question.

“Inside the hotel room moping. I left him some books to read that I thought he might like so hopefully he’s curled up with one of those at least. I wish I knew how to make it better. I suppose just time with the mind healers for all of us. Watching who he thought was me get their head cut off is not the sort of trauma that goes away in a few months.” Jango murmured rubbing his face and Obi-Wan reached out to squeeze his hand.

“I have to admit it was a big shock to all of us when Dooku revealed you were alive and that the person Mace killed had been one of the clones he had kept personally for purposes such as that. I’m just glad that you survived and that Boba had been able to be located and reunited with you.” He said seriously. Jango nodded.

“If Aurra weren’t already dead I’d kill her again for poisoning him to think I’d want him risking his life that way. I just want him happy and healthy.” He said, squeezing Obi-Wan’s hand back. The relationship that had somehow started between them, since Jango was recovered from where he had been imprisoned and had started helping fight for the clones and clean up the mess that he helped make, was the biggest surprise of all. Obi-Wan had always assumed that Jango was a cold heartless person to have made all the clones and treated them so indifferently, however he had realized that the opposite was in fact true. Jango cared greatly for the clones but he had been just as much a prisoner in Palpatine and Dooku’s schemes as they had and he had distanced himself to protect them from being targeted due to Dooku thinking he might use them against him. Finding out Jango had also been implanted with a rudimentary version of the chip also explained a few things and allowed him to be pardoned for the attempted hit on Padme. Of course, a lot of it was still on Jango’s shoulders and he was doing all he could to rectify his actions. Somehow in all the working together to help the clones, Obi-Wan and Jango had become close enough to the point that even Boba and Anakin had been calling them a couple behind their backs. Now they really were.

“Vacations don’t work well when we just lay around and let ourselves worry about things. How about we go join in on the death ball game the boys are playing instead?” He offered and Jango chuckled, kissing his cheek.

“That sounds like a great idea. Just don’t complain when my team crushes you.” He said getting up and waving over at Cody.

“Wait a minute! Cody is my commander! He’s going to be on my team!” Obi-Wan quickly hopped up to follow and get integrated into the teams. Obi-Wan ended up on Rex’s team while Jango had cockily gained Cody’s choice, Cody giving Obi-Wan a fake-apologetic smirk.

“You can’t even hold onto your lightsaber and you expect me to think you can keep a ball?” He teased with a lot of clones’ ‘ooo’s surrounding them.

“Oh it’s on now, my dear, you’ve made a grave mistake.” Obi-Wan had said, moving to huddle with his team. In the end, due to a non-Force use rule, the teams were evenly matched and the game never really got far in either team’s favor. They were all just having fun wrestling a ball from each other and trying to get it to the opposite team’s goal. Eventually, they all decided to split the difference and go change in Anakin’s room so he had to deal with all the sand instead of the losing team’s when they broke for lunch.

Jango managed to convince Boba to come out and join them for the meal and Obi-Wan smiled as the boy enthusiastically told his father about something he had been reading about snails. Seeing the difference in the way he acted when he had thought he lost his father compared to now was a shock. With Jango’s love and support, it was like looking at two different people. Although, the older bitter Boba was still in there and came out around the clones as shown when Cody sat beside Obi-Wan and started to chat causing Boba to quiet and withdraw.

“Can I go to the tide pools and look for the snails once we’re finished here, buir?” Boba asked and Jango nodded.

“Of course. Just be careful.” He agreed and Obi-Wan perked up at the perfect opportunity to try to bond a little with the boy.

“If you don’t mind, I’d love to come with you Boba. There are lots of little creatures there I’d like to see. Plus those bioluminescent snails sound really fascinating.” He said making sure to show he was listening to what Boba was saying by repeating some back.

“I guess it wouldn’t be bad to have you along. You can probably use your Force thingy to find them more easily.” Boba agreed after a moment of thought and Obi didn’t bother correcting him that the Force didn’t work that way. They quickly finished up the last of their meal and Boba led Obi-Wan towards the rocky area where the tide pools resided. Jango had declined in joining them with a knowing look at his Jedi and made an excuse of needing to call and check in on some work.

“Do you like ocean animals a lot, Boba?” He asked, trying to start a conversation to which the boy shrugged.

“I like all animals. There are so many planets with so many different ways for them to evolve and so many little differences even in species that are mostly the same. It’s cool to see what new things I can find out on each planet my buir and I visit. He used to make it a game we’d play together.” He admitted kicking a rock to splash into one of the little pools of water.

“Jango loves you a lot. You know that him helping the other clones doesn’t change his feelings about you, right?” Obi-Wan asked him and Boba grunted.

“I didn’t invite you to have you try to pick around in my brain. Now get to using your Jetii magics to find me some glowing snails or go back to making dopey looks at my dad and let me do my thing.” He grumbled and Obi-Wan rolled his eyes but did his best to feel around them to try to see if he could connect to any of the animals and figure out where the snails could be if they were even there at all.

While sensing the creature’s minds he felt them all diving deeper from what he figured was fear of the two humans encroaching on their homes however suddenly there was a faint rumbling and he gasped when Boba went barreling right into his stomach knocking him back into one of the ponds just in time to keep him from falling into a hole that opened up under where his feet had been.

Boba groaned as they both picked themselves up, equally soaked. “Dang it. Buir specifically told me not to fall in, now he’s going to laugh at me,” he whined.

“Thank you. I’m not even sure what just happened.” Obi-Wan confessed glad he had been in beachwear already, unlike Boba who was trying to wring out his t-shirt without removing it now.

“The rocks here aren’t round and solid like on most beaches. They’re flat and shift around with the tides as well like plates. It was in the book. The change in temperature at different points in the day causes the water currents to shift and then they move. I saw the fish diving and the rock around it start to move. I might not fully like you but my dad does, so letting you get trapped in a hole and drown seemed like the wrong move.” Boba said, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his shorts awkwardly.

“Well, I appreciate it nonetheless. It seems your extra reading saved my life.” He said with a chuckle, stroking his beard out of habit. “It would have been a shame to live through a whole war only to die to a little water and rock.” He said and Boba snorted but relaxed.

“The great Jedi General Obi-Wan Kenobi done-in by a change in tide while on vacation does sound like a great holonet headline.” He teased and they both continued their search for sea snails a little more carefully, eventually catching a few in a bucket to bring back and show Jango and the clones. Things weren’t perfect, but as Obi-Wan curled close to Jango’s warm chest that night, he found he was okay with that.

[obi-wan-ken00b]

Tumblr logic

Anakin Skywalker: 

has loving mother

seemed to be a pretty cute child, gets trained by Obi Wan so he has not a bad childhood

breaks the Jedi rules 

goes dark side pretty soon but Obi Wan covers his ass

slaughters a village of sand people, including women and kids

kills a bunch of children

chokes his pregnant wife almost to death

tried to kill his father figure but didn’t stop when Obi Wan had the high ground

his wife dies ‘from heartbreak’, his children grow up without a mother - all his fault, all his doing

tortures his daughter

orders the murder of billions of people and the destruction of planets

kills his father figure in the end and there is no sign of regret or remorse to be seen

lets his son be tortured

cut off his sons arm

decided last minute to kill the emperor to save his son - kinda egoistic if you ask me

becomes Force ghost (his good looking, young version) and Obi Wan and Yoda are perfectly fine with him, as if nothing had happened and as if he hadn’t killed and mutilated and tortured countless people

Tumblr: Anakin is so cute and so sexy omg, he and Padme, such love, much wow!!!! Cute Anakin fanart, as Anakin-Fan you are not frowned upon as wife-abuse fan, fan of torture, a racist, an abuse enabler and all that bullshit.

Anakin and Padme is fine and accepted, tumblr approved ♥ Anakin is redeemed, Darth Vader is funny and cool and epic.

Kylo Ren: 

obviously had parents who weren’t there for him

has been sent away by his parents to become a Jedi; feeling of abandonment. his parents weren’t really there and then have sent him away

is manipulated from childhood by Snoke, oblivious parents did not notice/did not interfere. most likely because they weren’t there to begin with

people ASSUME he slaughtered a bunch of Padawans/younglings yet we do not know what really happened. So far, it is just fan-theories. Nobody really mentioned that he had killed all the other students on Lukes ‘Jedi Academy’ which is another thing made up by fans. We do not know what Lukes training of a new generation of Jedi looked like

does not enjoy torturing people, says so, looks like he is not enjoying anything he does; look at the mimic and the body language

ordered to kill the people from the village on Jakku. note: it’s war

knocked Rey out and bridal-carried her to his ship through a battlefield

watched her sleep until she woke up

did not let anyone torture her, nor tortured her himself

said he does not want to kill her, tried to calm her, took his mask off for her, said he does not want to hurt her and will go easy on her when searching her mind - but must do it because he needed the map to Skywalker

he went very easy on Rey, almost gentle. You could tell because Poe was violently thrown back and forth in that torture chair (after the First Order guys beat the shit out of him) and he screamed in agony when Kylo invaded his mind while Rey was pulled forward, but really slowly and carefully. she did not scream in pain. 

Rey saw that he did not like what he was doing, it says so in the novel. she saw it and knew it.

objected when Hux and Snoke wanted to fire the Starkiller weapon but could not do anything about it. we do not know if he wanted to do anything against it, but we know he did not approve, nor give the order and he was not present during Hux’ speech and when the weapon was fired he just watched from afar, the shot suggesting that he was not enjoying the view

killed his father after trying to ignore him in plain sight - did not want to kill his father/tried to delay it - why didn’t he kill Han Solo earlier? Han Solo couldn’t have been that hard to find because he was’t hiding

regretted the act very much, cried when he did it

threw Rey against a tree

beat Finns ass, but did not kill him

went obviously easy on Rey during snow fight. 

“Noooo it’s just Rey is so strong and awesome!” I hear you say, but thats BS - think of it: Finn is trained from birth and one of the best Troopers (canon backstory) and a male. so he is physically stronger than Rey and don’t even try to deny that. He must have been the better fighter and for sure he indeed was. No offense to Rey and yeah she is cool n cute and gets shit done. Kylo took Finn out no problem with a gaping hole in his side and a bunch of other wounds, not mentioning his trauma and shock. he fought Finn in a totally different way than he fought Rey. he should’ve been able to take Rey out twice as fast 

did not kill Rey when he had the chance, did not throw her off the cliff though it would have been the easiest thing to do

offered to teach her, didn’t want her dead, told her that

Rey beat his ass, got away from fight with Kylo Ren without a scratch?!!!

Rey DECIDED not to kill him, against a voice in her head. and it for sure wasn’t the light side of the Force telling her to kill him. because that is not the Jedi way. Rey was dark after she reached for the Force during the fight. She used Kylos moves, the dark side stalk etc.

????????????????????

we do not know much backstory, we do not know Kylo Ren as a person (and yes, he is a person) and we do not know anything about his motives and why he does what he does and obviously doesn’t enjoy at all

Tumblr: omg Kylo Ren is the worst person ever since there are mammals in this world! He is a rapist and everyone who like Kylo Ren is also racist and anti black and excuses his actions and sympathizes with fascism and racism and he destroyed a bunch of planets (no, he did not. Hux and Snoke did). he is just that spoiled white male psychopath and he is evil for no reason in particular. he always faps when people die.

and he raped Rey, well not with his penis and he didn’t rape her but I think he did, he was in her THOUGHTS against her will. and everyone who likes Reylo and wants Rey to be with Kylo-  HER RAPIST AND ABUSER(???) is an abuse apologist and an enabler and racist and anti black and a pedophile and anti feminist and a fan of incest and a total disgusting person.

____________________________________________________________

Daisy Ridley and Mark Hamill  and other Star Wars crew members liking Reylo fanart: so Daisy Ridley and Mark are fascist, racist, anti black, anti feminst, a rape enabler and a rape excuser and a fan of incest and a pedophile (pedophilia is out of the picture anyways, since Kylo and Rey are both adults) and she likes Rey to be drawn and shown with her rapist? is it that what you want to say? Why don’t you go tell them, why don’t you harass them? 

Claudia Grey, writer of Bloodlines, said she’ll go Reylo after Kylo redeemed himself. So that woman you say is all the things mentioned above? A writer of a canon Star Wars novel, you think, does not know enough about the story and the characters to say such a thing and yet was able and allowed and approved to write a book about Star Wars? do you haters really think that?

[malwarewolf404]

Listen Up Star Suckers

Let’s talk Star Wars.

After Rogue One’s release being so successful, we as a fandom seemed to have finally fully gotten on board with the whole spin-off thing, and I think that’s great.

But there are some other spin-offs out there that deserve a lot more credit than they get. I’m off course talking about Star Wars the Clone Wars. Yes it’s a cartoon. But no, it does not suck nor is it for babies. Okay some of it is not great but c’mon, it’s Star Wars some of this shit is hit or miss sometimes. Bottom-line the show is absolutely incredibly, and if you haven’t seen it, I think you should see it, and if you have seen it. You know. You already know everything I’m about to say.  

Most of the stuff I’m about to say is very eloquently said by The Cosmonaut Variety Hour on YouTube in this video so definitely go check that out for the short and non-subjective version of this rant. But do come back to my rant because I want you to hear my outrageous suggestions about how to watch the star wars franchise as a whole. 

So, Star Wars. The original Trilogy, fucking fantastic. everything made between 1983 and 2005? eh.... As someone who’s been basically born into the Star Wars fandom, I have a lot of opinions on the prequels. They’re good for some things, but all in all they don’t really add a lot of depth to the story as a whole. That’s not to say that the OrigTrig is infallible or anything, but the prequels take being a kinda campy movie about Wars in Stars and make it very unnecessarily complex. Anikin being a whiny pissbaby for three whole movies? Bad choice. Padme being a totally lifeless character meant only to birth Luke and Leia? Bad choice. Jar Jar? Stupid Jedi? SAND???? The list goes on. The Prequels make mistakes, in ways that the original trilogy, in all of it’s campy, low-budget glory never really did. And that’s honestly kind of sad.

Now let me tell you about a show that isn’t campy. Let me tell you about a show that does the Wars in Stars better. 

Now Star Wars the Clone Wars will never replace the hole in my heart that is the prequels... except oh wait it did. That’s right, I said it. My parents took me to see the prequels trilogy in theaters since I was born. That’s what I mean when I said I was born into this fandom. And like I said, they fucking. Leave a lot to be desired. But after Episode III was released, on October 3rd 2008, I found a new hope (sorry, had to,) for this section of the story. And that hope, was Star Wars the Clone Wars. 

Now Clone Wars isn’t infallible either, it definitely has it’s problems, from filler episodes to Jar Jar still existing, and so on and so forth, but when you actually sit down and watch the good arcs, this show will actually surprise you. I’ll get into a detailed list of what you should and shouldn’t watch later, but for right now I wanna talk about what this show did. 

So the Clone Wars was not made by George Lucas, and it shows. This show was made by people who are actually good at making Star Wars content passed 1985. This show pulled aspects from existing Clone Wars media and made them better. Made them Star Wars. Characters are so much better than the prequels trilogy presented them. And most of the new characters we get are pretty freaking great as well. If you watched the video I linked up there you know what I’m talking about and. Why am I still talking watch that instead. 

Star Wars the Clone Wars took the bold road. This show so many fans shat on for being a cartoon for babies has frequent adult concepts like character death, the price of war, love and loss, espionage, sabotage, political ineffectiveness, corruption, and tons of stuff I can’t even fit into this whole rant. No matter what age you are, you’re gonna enjoy this show.

It fixes so many of the character problems we see in the prequels. Anikin doesn’t kill people because... actually I don’t really know why prequels Anikin was such a murderous whiny creepy weirdo. Anyways, Clone Wars Anikin isn’t some that weird kid at the back of your high school math class that went on to shoot up his college campus, he’s a Jedi. He just. Happens to be a very emotional Jedi that doesn’t have any issues hurting people to reach an end. And Padme, oh Padme. Sure we got to see her fight in I and II, but man. Remember how in the original trilogy when we met Leia she was pretty much playing coy with the Imperials, putting on this facade as the doll of the empire, on a diplomatic mission to her homeworld, only to bust out of her cell on the Death Star, blaster firing wildly as she dove into the garbage chute? While she’s not nearly as sassy, that is the character they capture in Padme. She’s no longer just Anikin’s love interest or Luke and Leia’s mother, she’s a calculating and tactical political leader, and both a powerful combatant and astounding thinker. And Obi Wan.... is still Obi Wan. We all love Obi Wan. Obi Wan is still the best, if not better. The stupid dickheads in the Jedi Council? Now very calculated military leaders spearheading a lost war. Seriously, I wasn’t kidding around when I said this show had some dark themes, the entire time, all Yoda can really think about is how the Jedi Order is being divided and losing sight of their practice of peace and good of heart, all while trying and failing to pick his battles. We get to see sides of several Jedi that never would have surfaced otherwise.  

And Ahsoka. Remember how through the original trilogy, we got to see Luke go from a whiny farmhand to a freaking Jedi Knight? Now give him one of the most emotionally fascinating characters out there to boot, and you have Ahsoka Tano. We get to see this girl grow like a weed, both physically, and in her knowledge of the force. I could do a whole rant about her alone, but I’ll spare you that trouble for now. Basically she’s gr9

And honestly, the war stuff that happens in the show isn’t the most interesting thing that happens, but it’s still incredibly well written and worth your time. 

And finally, let me get out my rather bold opinion about this show. Personally, I think this show is so good that it deserves to replace the Prequel Trilogy in your Star Wars marathons. I know! Absurd! But here’s why. In a New Hope, Obi Wan tells Luke “Your father fought in the Clone Wars.” to which Luke says “My father fought in the Clone Wars?” You know what else Obi Wan says in that conversation? Or rather, what he doesn’t say? Obi Wan doesn’t say “Oh yeah, your father also turned to the dark side, murdered your mother, then I cut off all his legs, and he became Darth Vader.” Episode III? Does that. You basically ruin the entire impact of that realization in episode V. And I mean, we all know what happens. But still, imagine a world where we had gotten prequels that only covered the Clone Wars, the stuff Obi Wan makes seem important and relevant to the story in IV, and what ends up happening to Anikin is left somewhat ambiguous, only hinted at, and to top it all off we got to see badass interpretations of prequel characters instead of shitty ones. Wouldn’t that be pretty sweet?

I just described a world where Star Wars the Clone Wars were watched as the Prequels instead of the actual Prequel trilogy. I’ve actually done this myself several times, and with Rogue One and VII in the mix too, it’ll all tie together beautifully.  

I’ve probably wasted enough of your time if you read any of this (heck even if you breezed through it, damn that’s a lot,) so let me do what I promised and write that listing of the Star Wars Clone Wars episodes you should definitely watch, maybe watch, and don’t watch. I’ll put it in a separate post and link it here when I’m through. 

TLDR; THE CLONE WARS IS REALLY REALLY REALLY GOOD AND IF YOU LIKED ROGUE ONE OR DIDN’T LIKE THE PREQUELS AND WANT BETTER ONES YOU WILL LOVE THE CLONE WARS SERIOUSLY IT’S ALL ON NETFLIX EVEN THE EPISODES THAT NEVER AIRED YOU HAVE LIKE NO EXCUSE FOR NOT WATCHING THEM WATCH! THEM! NOW!

[anneowl2803]

😂

[dream-about-dancing]

#padme: excuse me he said he doesn’t like sand