#packing and then i slept maybe 5 minutes in the car and then i got here half dead and had to wrangle two 5 year old boys for a cool 5 hours

[cynical-crypt]

what the fuck do you even do in florida my cousins rented a condo in the middle of a bunch of other condos so im stuck in condo hell until someone wakes up. which they will not. for a very long time. because i conked the fuck out at like 6 pm and everyone else went to bed at 2 am

[byllsbytch]

Carnival Date

Nicholas Alexander Chavez

Genre: Fluff

Summary: You and Nicholas are off to the state fair today, you spend your morning getting ready and then eventually drive to the carnival

A/N: I’ll make a pt 2 of them going on the rides n shi

Warnings: Bowel issues?

Me and Nicholas were off to the state fair today.

We woke up super early and got ready, while I packed our bag, Nicholas made us breakfast to start the day. In the bag I put my purse, keys, snacks and water bottles, making sure to also grab my camera. While waiting for breakfast I grabbed the camping chairs from the garage and put them in the trunk of the car.

I sat outside at the small coffee table as Nicholas brought out eggs on toast and fruit on the side.

“Mmh!” I moaned “You’re too good to me.”

I waited for Nick to sit down before I cut into the toast the egg yolk running.

“Impressive Mr Chavez, very good job handsome.”

He grinned at the praise, before swallowing hard.

“Um, how did you sleep last night babe?” He questioned.

“Yeah pretty good actually, at one point I dreamt that I was back at my daycare job and there was this one kid that kept running a muck.” I furrowed my eyebrows, “It was actually kind of a nightmare.”

He chuckled, “Well at least you woke up refreshed?”

I just smiled shaking my head.

“How about yourself? Are you ready for the drive?”

“I slept really good actually, best sleep I’ve had this week… it was so comfy and slept like a baby.”

“That’s because I was in your bed last night.” I joked.

He smiled rubbing his forehead.

“I think you’re right actually.” He slightly frowned, “But no dreams though, I guess it’s kind of a blessing, I could’ve been dreaming about naughty kids at daycare.”

We both exchanged a giggle as I drew some strawberries toward my mouth. The fruit was refreshing, the sun was shining and I was in good company.

We spoke for a while before I cleared our plates, washed them, dried them and put them back.

“I’ll get the car started!” I called to the bathroom door where nick was.

I grabbed our stuff and piled it into the car then going to the driver seat and waiting 5 minutes for Nicholas to finally get out the door.

He jumped into the car placing on his glasses.

“You ready princess?” I asked.

“Hell yeah princess!” He replied smacking the dashboard.

I pulled out of the driveway and we were finally off.

“Having bowel issues honey?” I asked.

He looked at me with a smile in disbelief.

“No! I was just -“ He paused for a second. “Having bowel issues” he finished in defeat.

“I couldn’t help it, that egg just went right through me.”

I gasped throwing my hand to my mouth with a giggle.

“Well you’re all sorted now. Would it be bad if I stopped at Starbucks and got us a coffee?”

“Oof, yeah maybe not for me, I can’t trust myself… but go knock yourself out.”

-

After 30 minutes we were still driving but getting close to the fair, the music was pumping and I checked on Nick who was looking out the window. Although we weren’t talking we were completely comfortable in each others presence, we didn’t even need to talk but would still feel content together.

“What show bags are you thinking of getting?” I asked.

“Probably be safe and stick to the Kit Kat one, but I also seen one for cologne.”

I nodded in agreement. “I’d seen one for Ariana Grande.”

He rose an eyebrow, “Ariana Grande?”

“Yeah, I know I’m not her biggest fan but the makeup and perfume in it looks really promising.”

“Tell you what I AM excited for..”

“Tell me Nicholas.”

“A good old CORN DAWWG.”

I couldn’t help but lose it at the way he said corn dog and he stared at me with a pleased grin.

We finally got to the fair and I pulled into the parking lot. It was sectioned off and had cones everywhere, with workers wearing vests to help guide people to their bays.

I pulled up to a young man who had a radio and name badge “JAKE”.

“Hey-ya Guys! What was your number?”

I grabbed my phone and looked for my tickets showing him the screenshot.

“B-12, alrighty just down that way on the left.”

“Awesome thank you.” I smiled taking my foot off the brake.

“Thanks.” Echoed Nicholas.

“No worries darling” I heard the worker call.

Nick spun his head back at the worker.

“Jesus babe, don’t lose your neck.”

“Did he just call you darling?” Nicholas scoffed.

“Am I not?” I teased, “I think he was talking to you darling.”

He shook his head, “He probably says that to everyone.”

I laughed to myself at Nicks tension, still holding onto the fact that another man called me a nickname.

I hopped out the car and went to the back of the car.

“I think I’ll just leave the bag in the car for now, I’ll grab it later when the fireworks start.”

He snaked an arm around my waist, kissing me on the cheek.

“That’s a good idea honey.”

I grabbed out my purse from the bag and put the bag back.

We walked towards the fair hand in hand.

“What do you want to do first?” He asked.

“The basketball toss looks like it has the shortest line.”

He nodded in agreement, “Yeah, we’ll do games first then rides?”

“Sounds like a plan babe.”

We walked closer to the game.

“I bet I’m going to absolutely smoke you.”

“Sure you would Nick, I think you forgot me and Lebron James got almost identical stats, just look at my build.”

Nicholas, who towered over me, look me up and down.

“Hmmm” he hummed.

Ok writing part 2 now, I’ll probably post it either tonight or tomoz because I’m working late tonight. But thank u guys for ur support and hope you enjoyed.

[steddieas-shegoes]

"Where did we put the freaking bag?!"

DM request from @lillemilly: "Where did we put the freaking bag?!" Can't remember if you've written ftm pregnancy Steddie before. But i have a mini promt of either Eddie or Steve freaking out because they can't find the hospital bag when its time to go. I keep joking about forgetting my own bag (do date saturday) 😅 I promise you even if you do forget your bag, there is nothing in it that you can't send someone to go back for or that can't be bought in an emergency at the hospital! Also, I literally (and I am not recommending this at all it's just a funny lil story) packed as I was having contractions at 5:40 in the morning on the day Liam was born. My mom came into my room and asked what I was doing and I said, "just like, things, ya know?"

-------------------------------------

"This is terrible and I hate you and I hate this and I never want to do this again. You have the babies."

Steve was in pain.

Everyone told him labor usually started slow, there was plenty of time to get to the hospital before the pain got unbearable.

Everyone fucking lied.

He'd woken up from a dead sleep to a wet bed. Eddie, of course, slept through his water breaking and the immediate panic that he was still not due for two weeks coming over him.

But only until Steve woke him up by slapping him multiple times on his arm and yelling that they had to go.

Eddie was currently trying to remember how to function as a human being while Steve was breathing through another contraction, the pain piercing and getting worse every single time.

"This isn't normal is it? Like, this should be slower?" Eddie was asking as he tried to lace up his boots, grunting when he had to start over.

"I don't know, maybe I'm just lucky," Steve gritted through his teeth.

"Okay. The bag. Need the bag." Eddie stood and turned around in a circle. Turned again. "Where is the bag?"

Steve was going to kill him.

He was going to have to be a single father because Eddie was an idiot.

That must have been written all over his face because Eddie suddenly clapped and started running out of the room.

Steve pulled his jacket on, already mentally preparing for the next contraction, certain that if they didn't get to the hospital within the next 30 minutes, he would be having this baby in their bed.

"Where did we put the freaking bag?!" Eddie yelled from another room, possibly the bathroom.

"Please, my sweet angel, please do not have your dad's forgetfulness," Steve sighed, hand on his stomach. "Is it in the living room?" He yelled out.

Eddie was quiet for a minute, then appeared in the doorway.

"Not there. Not anywhere. Do we even have a bag?" Eddie asked.

Steve blinked at him.

"I'm getting in the car. If you aren't there in five minutes with the bag, I'm driving myself to the hospital and you're not invited," Steve said as he slowly waddled out of the room.

"Oh!" Eddie yelled, brushing past Steve in the hallway and right out the door.

Steve just barely made it to the front door when another contraction hit.

"It's in here! I found it! See how prepared I was?" Eddie yelled from the car, proud smile on his face.

"So prepared," Steve snarked back.

Eddie helped him into the car and drove much faster than he should have to the hospital.

On the ride there, Eddie was holding Steve's hand, singing along to some music, and through the pain, and the frustration, and the fear, Steve smiled over at Eddie.

"I'm glad I'm doing this with you, Eds."

Eddie lifted his hand to his mouth, kissed the back of it, and smiled.

[dragonblobz]

The Desert Pt 7

Hours pass. At first, with me holding the harness around me, wishing I could hug him. Then, with me leaning the seat back. But I’ve slept enough. I just CAN’T anymore.

I drain the last drops from my Fiji. Stare at the big empty bottle. Crap. I’ll have to get more soon.

My ghost robot, possibly alien car has fallen into silence. Comfortable for HIM maybe. My butt cheeks feel smooshed and I’d KILL for a stretch. And a burger actually……

The scenery around us gradually begins to change. Dessert, and then not. And then I spy the mother of all resources. A sign promising a gas station in 5 miles.

“Hey. Psssst.”

“Yes?”

He answers so quickly. I forget my boredom and smile again.

“I gotta pee, Brobot.”

“You’ve gotta…… what??”

I start to hiss giggle.

“I gotte pee. Loose the damn. Pop a mighty wizz. Knock the pissa.”

Just silence. And that purring engine. I groan and laugh.

“I have to put the water I drank earlier INTO something now.”

“Oh dear Primus….” He sounds so disgusted. Luckily for him, I have zero grasp on modesty. At least he gets it. I think???

“There’s a rest stop ahead. I can pee there. And also get more water and food.”

“Water and food? Ah yes, nourishment. But I’m not sure you should be around others of your kind. No one can know of mine.”

I scowl. It makes my tender face hurt.

“I VOLUNTEERED to be here, Christine. You think I’m gonna go in there and be like…”

I wave my hands around my face and squawk.

“OHMYGOD SAVE ME I’VE BEEN KIDNAPPED BY A VERY COOL ROBOT GHOST CAR THAT I’D PREFER NOT TO BE PARTED FROM BLAH BLAH BLAH. ALSO HE MIGHT BE AN ALIEN.”

“Oh shut up. We’ll stop.” He sounds SO grumpy. I try my best to hug the harness around me.

“Thanks. Thank you!”

We’re going so fast. It’s only about a minute before I see a big brightly lit building ahead. One of those big industrial gas stations. The ones with the walk in booze cooler.

“There!”

I can FEEL him huff around me just as much as hear it. And I giggle and rub my hands on his steering wheel. It’s the only form of affection I can think of to share.

We slow and pull in. I wonder what the people inside must think. Two cars worth well over 2 million dollars apiece just tooting in. It’s not like we’re anywhere near Vegas anymore.

“You’ve got five kilicks before I come in there after you….” An impatient growl around me as the driver’s side door glides open.

“I dunno about kin licks, bruh. But give me 10 minutes.” I’m just laughing as I unbuckle myself from the harness and grab my pack. Thinking about how much everyone inside would shit themselves at a giant robot peeling off the roof like “I’m looking for the annoying one. You seen it?”

I trudge to the building, aware of how much cooler the air feels now. How less dry it feels. And there’s trees all around. It’s CRAZY how far you get going as fast as we were.

There’s not many people inside, but man are they staring at me. At my friends outside. I feel an odd sort of nervousness. I might have needs, but I’d MEANT it when I’d said I’d never say a word. I’d better hurry.

I begin in the large restroom. It’s quiet and empty. Just the muted muffled sound of modern country music wafting thru the whole place.

After doing my business I go to the sink and discover WHY I’d been stared at when I look in the mirror.

Geez. My entire FACE is bruised. Still remnants of dried blood around my nostrils. And my hair looks like two birds have been fucking in it.

I wash my hands and then do the same for my face. Faucet all short and automated and just plain awkward to work with. Using the paper hand wipes instead of the blower to dry. Gently pressing at my face.

No. Nothing broken. But it’s still tender and looks hideous. I use the pick from my pack to tug at my snarled hair as best as I can.

When I exit the restroom, I zoom around the isles. Grabbing up as much as I can. Three more big Fijis. Jerky. And a mouthwatering cheeseburger spinning around in a heated display. Shitty and flappy and no condiments or veggies, and I can’t WAIT to shove the entire thing into my mouth.

On my way to the register, I spy something that makes me stop and grin. Arms all full.

I snatch it up and paw thru the rest of objects like it, looking for another color.

I’m in the car isle. And I’m giddily splurging on my new friends.

I plop the biggest insane armfull of crap in front of the cashier. And he’s looking at me like I might have just escaped from some truly unsavory prison or something, but he starts ringing up all my stuff.

“You okay?” He’s bug eyed. And so I think up a lie and I think it up quick.

“You’ve seen Hangover, right?”

I brandish my pointer finger at the two ridiculous Lamborghinis outside the big sparkling windows.

“I’m rich. I’m dumb. And my friend wants his…..” my eyes flail around my pile of crap.

“… his Tijuana Mama okay??”

I’m well aware of my complete inability to properly socialize. But I’m still COMPLETELY unprepared for this man going from nosey shock to bland disinterest so quickly.

“Alright then.” It’s like he doesn’t even care now???

Lamborghinis are wasted on the rich, I decide. It’s like a free ticket to looking INSANE. I have been ROBBED by my birthright.

I’m grinning at the man as he finishes. He looks so bored now.

“Keep the change.” I say as I collect my debit card from him, every bit aware that there’s no change with this method of payment. And I’m chuckling like a demon imp as I stuff all my crap into my pack. Still chuckling as I exit the building.

“You were dawdling.” Sunstreaker’s voice is an impatient growl as I approach him. He’s kept his drivers side door open this whole time.

“I have a Lamborghini. I do what I want.” I’m giggling as I plop inside of him again and start untangling the harness to fasten around me.

He huffs, his door gliding closed. I hiss with laughter. But…. He doesn’t argue. I fully expect him to….. but he doesn’t. My laughter dies into chortles and then into happy silence.

We leave the gas station. Engine just that nice rumbling purr.

“Hey. Once we get outta sight of this place, pull over.”

“Why…..” He sounds so suspicious. I grin.

“Because I got you presents.”

“Presents?”

He sounds even MORE suspicious.

“Oh yes.” I start giggling again.

He doesn’t respond, and I half expect him to have no response. To just keep going.

But…. We pull over just a few miles down the road.

“I’ve stopped. And you will tell me why.” His voice rumbles in grump around me as I unbuckle myself from the harness.

“Just open up!” I’m so excited. Grabbing my bulging pack as he complies, drivers door gliding open.

“Sideswipe!” I’m SO excited. Hearing a beep. The red Lambo flicks it’s headlights at me behind us.

“You’re bouncing, little buddy. You okay?”

“Oh yes! Just…. Open up! I got something for you!”

I wait impatiently for that drivers door to glide open, then plop my butt in the seat like I own the place.

His charming chuckle bubbles all around me.

“For me?”

“Uh huh!” I dig out the obnoxious pair of bright red fuzzy dice from my pack. And drape it over his rear view mirror.

“One more thing….” I pull the next object out. A little Hawaiian hula lady bobble head. Rip the paper from her base and plop her sticky feet on his dash, giggling madly.

“Do sumthin to wiggle her!”

I jerk as his engine screams under my butt. He’s not moving, but the jolt makes her little head shake. I screech gleefully and clap my hands. Lean forward and kiss the center of his steering wheel impulsively.

“Are you accessorizing me, little buddy?” I can feel and hear him chuckling around me. And I’m laughing too.

“I couldn’t help it. It’s just too cute!”

“You’d better have gotten Sunny something.” More chuckles, these decidedly more wicked sounding. And when I look out the open door, I only see a yellow Lamborghini. But the GRUMP is tangible in the air. I snort and giggle.

“You know I did!”

I exit the red Lambo, and the other car is silent. No purring engine. I’m blushing and I don’t know why.

“Did you think I’d forget about you?”

No response, but that drivers door remains open. I settle inside and start hissing with laughter as I start buckling myself in and the door closes. Engine roaring to life.

We begin moving on the highway. It’s like I can feel him deliberately ignoring me. And I’m just grinning. I just CAN’T be upset. He’s so obviously jealous.

I don’t bother to placate or speak. I just pull the bright yellow fuzzy dice out of my pack and drap them over his rear view mirror. Just smiling so largely.

“Well? Where’s my other thing?” He sounds so butthurt. And I’m just laughing for a few moments before I blush again and fall silent.

“Well… I didn’t get you a bobble head….”

I can FEEL the judgement around me. And I’m blushing too hard to do anything but clasp the last gift out of my pack.

“I don’t need anything from you.”

It does sting. I can admit it. And I’m very quiet while I rip open the scented cardboard tree. Just loop it around his rear view mirror with the fuzzy dice. And then just cling to my harness and wait for him to say more mean things.

But he doesn’t say anything. Just that purring engine beneath me. Long enough for me to nervously explain myself.

“Rose Thorn. It’s…. It’s my favorite scent from this brand. It’s really nice…”

“You’re favorite scent?” He sounds thoughtful. I blush even harder. Feeling so self conscious.

“Yes. I…. I like it a lot….”

“Then I like it as well.” Nothing else. Just the sound of that engine purring around me. All stark and sincere. And I start to smile again, still blushing.

I don’t say anything else. Just blush and turn my head to stare out the window.

We’re in trees now. Forest scrub. I have NO idea where we’re going. And I don’t really care. I’m happy right where I am.

“Hey….”

“Yes?” His voice has that same softness from before.

“You don’t have a radio?”

“A radio? I can. Do you want one?”

I hear the sounds of mechanical warping. Turn my head to watch his naked console morph into……

“Oh my god…” I start giggling. Just looking at the fancy digital stereo system that’s just…. There now.

“You’re wanting music, yes?” and music curls around me inside this car. Muted and low. And I’m snort giggling like a heathen.

“You don’t like it? I like it….” He sounds SO grumpy.

“Is….. is this….. Journey????” I'm just wheezing.

“Well. What do YOU want to hear?” Oh he’s mad. I ignore him. Giggling for a few more moments, and then humming to the song before I answer.

“Naw. I like Journey.” I chortle again and then start to sing quietly. And he doesn’t say anything else. Not for the whole song. Like he’s just listening to my idiot quiet singing.

I’m just smiling and singing and so happy. Who’d have ever thought I’d be singing Wheel In The Sky in a fucking ghost car robot alien???

The song ends. I become silence. The next song begins. I giggle.

“Led Zeppelin??”

“I haven’t heard you tell me what you want to hear.” So so grumpy. I’m just grinning. Pulling that crappy gas station cheese burger out to gobble it down. Finishing it with a huge swig of fresh cold Fiji water.

A honking noise makes me jerk my head as I’m wiping my face and hands with a wrinkled napkin. Sideswipe behind us. Flashing his lights and laying into his horn.

“We’ve got company.” Sunstreaker doesn’t sound worried. He sounds…. Resigned.

I notice another vehicle now. In that mirror outside the window. Another red one. A big cherry red van?

I feel the entire Lamborghini huff around me.

“It’s Ironhide. Act natural.” He sounds so annoyed. And I can’t help but laugh.

“Oh yeah. Sure. Natural. Is he…..” the slight prickles of nervousness. Ironhide. ANOTHER one of them, I can only assume.

“You’re safe.” It’s a final sound. Not necessarily reassurance. But it makes me feel like I don’t have to worry. But I’m still worrying.

“I’m sorry. I don’t want to make trouble.” I feel terrible now. That van is right next to us. Like it’s accompanying us. Or WATCHING us.

“You’re no trouble…” It’s another new tone from him. Protective.

“Okay.” It’s a little nervous croak. And curious. I feel like something big and new is about to happen. I’m just gawping at this big red van cruising next to us.

I hear Sideswipe now. It’s like Sunstreaker is letting him talk again.

“Aw don’t mind Ironhide. He’s a pussy cat.” And that confident chuckle. And it DOES make me feel just a little bit less guilty.

“You just sit tight, little buddy. You’re gonna talk to Prime. Everything is gonna be okay.”

I see the trees around us. Spot a hulk of metal nestled in the side of a mountain ahead of us. It’s enormous. And the road we’re on is care worn gravel. It feels like a SECRET.

“O… Okay….” I feel so oddly nervous. Just cling to this harness around my body.

And it’s Sunstreaker’s voice now. Firm and confident and gentle. And it makes me feel safe.

“I’ll be there the entire time. I won’t leave you.”

Safe. It feels…. Safe….

[cottoncandy-cult]

He Gets Drunk (ZFBFS)

(Y/n) entered her home with a heavy sigh, winter had come and so she did some hardcore shopping since they wouldn't be able to go out once the snow had really hit. She was lucky that the place came with a solar backup generator, so they wouldn't freeze to death if they got snowed in. In her arms she carried in the last two bags from the car, having spent at least 10 minutes unloading everything. She had done most of the Christmas shopping through the year, so all she really had to get was some emergency supplies for worst case scenarios and a ton of food and drinks. Of course, she had some miscellaneous daily house items, decorations, and alcohol. She had a liquor cabinet she only usually opened when she was really in the mood or for special occasions.

It wasn't until she rested the last two bags on the counter that she noticed an empty beer bottle on the floor at the foot of the staircase, and even though he hadn't been messy like this since he first arrived what confused her more was the fact that it was a BEER bottle. She couldn't recall a single instance of him ever drinking, but he was a grown man and maybe he had one or two here and there, so she shrugged and walked over to grab the bottle before placing it in the recycling bin against the wall when you first enter the kitchen from the living room. When she glanced up the steps, she spotted another bottle about halfway up, making her huff and glance back at the groceries before making her way up the staircase to grab it. Then she grabbed the one at the top of the steps, and then the one in the middle of the hallway.

Her eye was twitching by the time she spotted her bedroom door slightly open; she knew Zack had to be in there because she always kept her door closed. She entered the door, ready to lecture a drunk male about not leaving a 6-pack scattered throughout the house. Though her irritation simmered down when she spotted the man asleep on her bed, her pillow cuddled close to him as his face was buried in the top. He slept so peacefully that (Y/n) couldn't help but giggle softly and shake her head while she walked out and went downstairs to go ahead and put everything up before heading up to her room once more, she sat at the edge of her bed and reached down to poke his nose gently. "Zaaaack~" Her voice was sweet as she roused the sleeping giant. His dual-colored eyes gazed up at her, slightly dazed as he slowly reached up and touched her cheek. His hand coming to rest on the warm flesh, his covered fingers gently stroking her skin. "You're ba- *hic* -ck... Thaz good... I'm hungery..." His words were slow and a bit slurred, but he seemed so calm and quiet. "OK, what do you want to eat?" She giggled watching him sit up, almost falling off the bed a few times, before looking at her with a confused expression. It made her grin widen some, he looked as if he only just learned there was food other than rice crackers. "Grill cheeeez..." He had spat the words out while falling forward some, as if speaking took some serious physical force.

She had almost burst into laughter, her smile wide as she nodded. "Ok sweetie, just sit here while I cook." She turned on the TV, sat the remote on the bedside table to Zack's right. She watched him lay back on the bed before quietly slipping away, it didn't take 5 minutes to make him 2 grilled cheese (cause who the hell only eats one). Though she smiled when she found him out cold, drooling heavily and cuddling her pillow once more. So, she sat on the edge of the bed beside him, beginning to eat the grilled cheese. After she had finished the two, she felt something that she easily recognized as his arms wrapping around her waist, she could still hear him snoring, so she sat the plate aside and shifted in his grip to lay down with him. His large form was quick to envelope her, as if his subconscious needed to hold her to ensure that she was there. So, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and spent the night playing with his hair.

[spnexploration]

Pack chapter 5

Pairing: Alpha!Dean Winchester x Omega!Reader, Alpha!Sam Winchester x Omega!Madison

Series summary: Omega!Reader is thrown into a world she's not expecting when her mate turns out to be a hunter, and she's not used to Alpha & Omega Pack dynamics.

Chapter summary: You head back to the bunker with the Winchester Pack.

Chapter warnings: none

Word count: 1.8k

A/N: This chapter fulfils the square "Pack" on my @spnaubingo card!

Series Masterlist | Supernatural writing masterlist

Part 4 <- -> Part 6

I yawned for the third time in the backseat of Dean's car. Everything important of mine was in the boot and we were driving to their bunker, Sam and Dean in the front and Madison and I in the back.

“We keeping you up, sweetheart?” Dean joked at me, looking at me briefly in the rear-view mirror.

“Sorry, I haven't slept well the last couple of nights.”

“Well, yeah, you’ve been refusing to sleep with Dean,” Madison said to the window.

“Madison...” Dean and Sam both growled in warning, almost in sync.

I gaped at her, and I could feel myself starting to blush furiously. “What?! You think doing- doing that would make me sleep better?! You’re crazy!”

She turned to look at me, “I didn't mean have sex with him, I just meant sleep with him. Cuddle.”

“And that's meant to magically make me sleep better? You sound like a bad romcom.”

She looked surprised and I saw Sam and Dean exchange a look.

“What? Why is everyone acting weird?”

“You don't have a lot of experience with Packs, do you?” Madison asked.

I hesitated. “What do you mean? Everyone's born into a Pack.”

“Ok, yes, but some Packs are more... Pack-like than others,” she said with an emphasis as if the second half was meant to mean more to me.

“That's enough,” Dean said firmly.

“Yes, Alpha,” Madison said quietly.

There was a minute or two of silence before I said quietly, “My family are all Betas.”

Madison nodded her understanding. “So, you've never really seen a Pack of Alphas and Omegas?”

“No.”

“Well, you'll sleep better if you're cuddled up to your Pack members. Your mate is best, but any Pack members are far better than being alone. I grew up in a big Pack and all us kids would pile in on top of each other,” she said with fondness in her voice.

“Are you messing with me?”

“It’s true, Y/N,” Dean said from the front.

“Oh.” After a second I continued, “That's why you all looked at me strangely when I said I’d go to my apartment yesterday.”

Sam stifled a laugh but Madison grinned at me, “Yep!”

“Oh,” I said again. I felt adrift, I didn't even understand my own body.

Madison smiled kindly at me. “It's ok, we’ll teach you. Come here, sleep on me while we drive.”

I hesitated, embarrassed.

“Come on, I promise you'll feel better.” She coaxed me over and I fell asleep quickly, my head resting on her. She smelled nice.

---

“Feels better, right?” Madison said with a smirk when I woke up. I nodded and she broke out in a huge grin. “Told ya! Wait until you sleep on your heartthrob!” She winked again. Sam laughed.

“I might not be very familiar with Packs,” I said, sitting back up. “But you guys certainly don't seem like the ones I've seen.”

“Oh, you mean how I'm ‘not giving her a firm enough hand’?” Sam said, putting on a voice.

I looked down, worried I’d upset an Alpha.

“Sorry, Y/N, I didn't mean it like that,” Sam said sincerely.

“He's quoting an asshole Sheriff,” Madison said. “One time when I got arrested, they almost didn't let Sam take me home because he refused to give me a spanking in the middle of the station.”

“You got arrested?!”

“Fighting monsters isn't always legal,” she said with a shrug.

“And Madi is a brat of the first order who occasionally gets arrested not on the job, too,” Sam said. “I seem to remember that occasion you had been spray painting the outside of an Alpha-only Club?”

She had the biggest shit-eating grin, “Yep!”

“Could we maybe go 5 minutes without trying to terrify or corrupt my mate?” Dean grumbled.

“Never, sir!” Madison bounced happily in her seat.

“Well, at least she's honest,” Sam said to Dean, laughing.  Dean grumbled, but it seemed like he was joking.

---

“Here, we go, home sweet home,” Dean said as he pulled into the garage. There were a lot of fancy old cars already there. “How about I give you the tour and we can talk about where to put your stuff, and we’ll come back and get it?” I agreed and we all piled out of the car.

Sam and Madison disappeared as Dean started giving me a tour. It was a labyrinth down here and there were so many rooms! This was not what I had imagined, although I hadn’t really known what to imagine by “1950s bunker”.

Finally, we got to the bedrooms. “This is my room,” he said, opening the door. I stared at the guns on the wall. What the hell redneck shit is that?! He saw my expression, “Uh, we can definitely redecorate, if you’d prefer.”

I suddenly realised I’d overstepped my bounds. I looked at the floor and fidgeted my fingers together. “Hey, hey,” Dean said, stepping closer and putting his finger under my chin to nudge it upwards, “It’s ok. If you want it to be, it’ll be your room too.”

“Oh, um...”

“Or you can have the room next door if that would make you more comfortable.”

I fidgeted more, unsure of myself, unwilling to make a decision and risk it being the wrong one.

Dean waited a few moments more before saying, “How about we bring your things to the room next door, but you can decide when you want to be in here and when you want to be in there. You can always move things again later if you want to.” I slowly nodded. I couldn’t tell if he was disappointed or worse, angry, with me.

To try to break the tension, I asked where Sam and Madison were as we headed back to the garage to get my things.

“They had to share a motel room with me for almost a week as we couldn’t get two,” Dean replied. “I imagine they’re in their room, at it like rabbits to make up for lost time.”

I gaped at him and he laughed.

---

When we had finished moving my things, Dean took a seat and then took my hand, gently guiding me to stand in between his legs. I was a little taller than him in this position, and he looked up at me. “Sweetheart, I have some important questions for you, but I want you to know that no matter what you say, I won’t be angry or upset or anything like that. I just want you to be honest with me, please.”

I nodded, suddenly worried about what he was going to say.

“Did someone hurt you in the past, sweetheart? Did someone force themselves on you?”

“What do you mean?”

“Did someone sexually assault you? Or assault or hurt you in another way?”

“N-no, Alpha.” I was worried why he was asking this, what had I done wrong? Or, worse, maybe he thought I should have been?

He reached up and brushed his wrist over my neck, scent marking me, then cupped my cheek. It made me calm down a little.

“Wh-why?” I mumbled.

“You just don’t seem to always like me touching you, and I wondered if it was reminding you of a painful memory. If it is, I need to know so I can help you.”

“N-nothing happened to me. I’m sorry I’m not what you wanted, Alpha.” Tears welled in my eyes, but I blinked them away.

“You are exactly what I want, Omega. You are perfect just the way you are.” He stood up and gathered me into a hug. I felt better, but also hyper-aware that I was clearly doing the wrong thing. I pulled away and he let me go, concern still on his face. I looked away, unable to meet his eyes.

“Why do you do that?” he asked gently.

“Do what?” I asked very quietly.

“Pull away, when clearly you want more comfort.”

“I’m sorry, Alpha.”

“Little one, I just want to know what you’re thinking.”

“I’m sorry I’m like this,” I whispered sadly.

“What you’re like is an Omega, but you seem to be fighting it.”

I furrowed my brow, not sure what he meant. I felt a bit annoyed that he was lumping all Omegas just because of me. “I’m clingy and I’m annoying, I know, but it’s not because I’m an Omega.” I crossed my arms across my chest.

He cupped my cheek again, gently guiding my face to look up to him. “Did someone tell you that you’re too clingy? That you shouldn’t want to touch so much?”

“Everyone says that. Everyone’s always said that.”

“Oh, sweetheart. You’re not clingy, you’re not annoying. You’re an Omega. Omegas want to touch, they want to be cuddled, they want connection.”

“A-all Omegas are like this?”

“Haven’t you noticed Madison touching Sam? You should see her when she’s sick, she’s incredibly whiny if she’s not touching preferably him, but she’ll take me as a second prize for short periods. You do not want to see her when she’s left alone if she’s feeling miserable.” He chuckled.

“So, all Omegas are annoying.”

“No, it means that whoever told you that doesn’t understand biology. Alphas, especially mates, like touching Omegas too. I was joking about Madi, we don’t mind looking after her just like we don’t mind looking after you.”

He pulled me to him again, enveloping me in a hug. “Just relax, sweetheart,” he murmured. I tentatively put my hands on his sides. After a few moments, I started to pull back. He didn’t release me. “You’re not done yet,” he said.

“But that’s how long hugs are supposed to go for,” I protested.

“No, that’s how long some ignorant Beta told you to hug. Stop thinking about that and just think about how long do you, Y/N, want to be in this hug? If you don’t feel like you want to pull away, then don’t.”

He continued to hold me. I felt awkward and like I was being too demanding. “Relax, Omega,” he murmured. He put his hand on my head and gently guided it to the crook of his neck, like he had back at the motel yesterday. His scent made me start to relax against him, hold myself less rigidly. “Good girl," he said.

After a little while, I did feel finished. I started to pull away again and he let me. “Any time you want a hug, or any other kind of comfort, I want you take it. You are allowed to touch me as often as you need, ok?”

I nodded.

“And any other ‘advice’ you’ve received from those Betas, or anyone else, I want you to run that by me before you take it as gospel.”

.

.

.

Tag list:

@mrsjenniferwinchester @lyarr24 @waynes-multiverse @leigh70 @malindacath @ellie-andthemachine @iprobablyshipit91 @123passwort @muhahaha303

[lavender-sheperd]

Info dump about feeling alone n stuff

So I'll start this off by saying my mom was never really present like she should've been, she's got a few chronic illnesses and she's disabled, a lot of my childhood she was in bed, asleep, busy, or some other reason that she couldn't give me attention. I'm sure we did lots of things together but what I remember most is her not being present.

I have to brothers but for most of my life the older one has been mean and the younger one was a complete brat so I didn't have any connection to them.

When I was really little (4-5?) my mom was moving us 45 minutes away and would usually go up for a few days and come back to town for one or so. Now already that was hard for me because she was the only person I knew, no friends, no friendly neighbors, no dad. She'd leave me and my brothers with her mom who is an immigrant (doesn't speak a ton of English) and who honestly disliked us a lot. She refused to let us call out mom even if she said it was okay, she would watch us and criticize everything we did, she was very emotionally cold. It was a lot harder than it should've been for me and I kinda thought about how I missed my mom constantly. One time my mom came back for a lil bit and told me I could come with her, but my dumb lil self was being rude so she just left me. Now that's fine, but for me it was: mom is home > I can go with her!!! > Say something > mom is mad > says I can't come > drives away > without her for days

Which for a small child was really damaging

Then, later my mom said we were moving a state away and me and my brothers had to stay with her parents while she packed up the house

That meant that 8 year old me had to stay in a new state with people I barely knew

My mom would be in California for a few weeks and we'd stay in her parents house which was cold, and empty. She didn't like having the heater on so the house was cold, didn't like decorating so it kinda had the bare minimum. No toys, no books, 30 minutes of tv a day, not allowed to really play in the yard. We really didn't go anywhere like parks or anything, maybe the McDonald's play place once a week. So that left a lot of time for me to cry about how I missed my mom. My grandma was still as apathetic as ever and wouldn't let us call her. My grandpa was a bit better but they were bad parents and didn't know how to interact with kids at all. This went on for only like 2 months but it felt like an eternity for me as a kid

Next, my mom eventually stayed in my grandparents house, she's always stayed up late and slept late (like 4-7 am to 1-2 pm) so she'd stay in bed a lot of the day. My grandma watched me like a hawk so if I tried to go to my mom's room to see her my grandma would get mad at me and once again, refused to let us see her even if our mom said it was okay. That went on for a summer.

When we moved out she was still sick and stayed in bed a lot or was on her phone or working, and often she'd tell us she was going to run a quick errand and be gone for 4 or 5 hours

Think "I'm going to run these donations to the thrift store and that's all" at 3 and then at 8 when it's dark and I've kinda accepted that she probably got in a car accident she'd come home acting like that was completely normal

Me and my brothers had no way to contact her so when she was gone she was gone and we just had to wait, she'd often drop us off at our grandparents and we didn't know how long we'd stay and couldn't contact her

When we were moving again she's leave me and my brother, or just be at the house so she could fit more in the car. She'd say she'd be right back and hours would pass in an empty house with no way to contact her. I remember a time that the only thing in the house was the TV, a few chairs and a towel, and she was gone for probably 4 hours again, it was 9 pm and cold and so the only thing I could really do was push the chairs together and use the towel as a blanket.

She used to leave us at the library after school, or our grandparents, or the park (at one point our school was a 30 minute drive) and we'd just have to wait, if we could call her she probably wouldn't answer, if she answered she'd lie and say she was on her way.

One summer she'd go out with a friend every few nights at probably 9 pm, 1 am would roll around and my younger brother would refuse to go to bed until she was home so we'd call her. Never picked up. That whole summer she'd always say that she didn't realize her phone was dead, it was on do not disturb and she didn't realize, it was being weird and she didn't get the call. Every single time.

While a lot of this is pretty small, as I child I literally only knew like 4 people so it was a huge thing that I suddenly couldn't contact my only person.

Anyways that's the (maybe) whole list of reasons why I now cry when I have to be alone, why not being able to talk to people makes me so upset, why friends not responding for weeks makes me so upset, why people needing space feels like a punishment, why not being able to contact people makes me panic, why I have Mommy issues, why I have daddy issues, and probably some other stuff, attachment issues?

I don't know why it all affected me so much but it really did

[beccadanae]

dallas trip 2024

Friday – our flight was originally supposed to be at 5:45 or something, it kept getting pushed back due to weather. Eventually I checked Chessie’s location, she wasn’t responding to any of our messages about the delay, she was at a venue. We knew then she was at the wedding where she was a plus one, didn’t know anyone, and Justin was in the wedding. Jenna and I meet at the airport a little early for drink, check her location and see Chessie went back to her house to change before the airport. It was down to the minute, but she made it. we got to Ashlenn’s house around 11:30 and Ashlenn had little goody bags for me Jenna and Chessie. Night mask, water bottle, little skincare, socks. Brandon had also moved the guest bed into the main so we had MEGA BED. it was amazing

Saturday- we slept in and had a Lake day. Most of the time was used attempting to get two people on a floaty. Jessie lost her glasses in the water and eventually found them with her foot only proving more that the world revolves to help her lol. Brandon waited on us like the best host giving us drinks and eventually Mexican popsicles in the water. I was super humbled when I wasn’t able to lift myself onto the boardwalk and was dragged out of the water by Ashlenn and her friend. super drunk. That night we played DND where Chessie totally died and went into death saves. So fun! 

Sunday- woke up and went to brunch, where the waiter gave us postcards to send to ourselves back home. I sent one to Kristian. Next we went to the farmers market where we fell in love with a flower jewelry artist.

Sunday night – meow Wolf. We start off the evening driving and playing an alphabet game to Taylor Swift songs. Then we get to meow Wolf and Chessie brought the Ziploc of extra edibles in her bag and got caught by the people working there. Brandon took it back to the car and we went in without him. we started the adventure not knowing there was a whole narrative/social commentary. It slowed us down and chessie was really caught up in it. there was a room where they played a projection of a sunrise to sunset that was maybe a minute per hour time lapse. At first we get there and people were sitting watching it not leaving any room for others to sit. We waited in the corner for them to move and they never did until Jessie went over and sat herself by them, it was the sunrise and I was super paranoid. The whole time that we were annoyed with. This was when chessie began the ongoing joke that I didn’t take a gummy and was sober. we went to a room where we sat and a woman in a hijab walked by. Jenna thought maybe the woman worked there and stopped herself before asking, Ashlenn and I caught it right away. chessie looked up and pointed out the girl and said “graduate?“ we cannot stop laughing for a very long time after that. the entire high was so much fun that we decided to do it again after dinner. We watched bottoms.

Mundy – we decided to get pedicures, we were so tired and exhausted. It felt so good. After packing back at the house, we got in and out and then got on the airplane. Jenna and I were on the airplane takeoff time kept getting pushed back due to weather. the flight consisted of us playing another Taylor Swift alphabet game but this time it was lyrics back-and-forth between each other. Then we played a “guessing game. One of us would think of a quote whether it was in a movie TV show or even a quote between us and we had to play 20 questions to get it.

[suckitsurveys]

Are you any good at packing a suitcase?: I manage.

What are you hungry for right now, if anything?: I want waffles.

Have you ever had a white hot chocolate? What did you think?: I’m not a fan of white chocolate in large doses like that.

What will you be doing in twenty minutes from now? Probably still working on this survey, or another one. I’m also working, so I answer questions in between job things.

Is there anybody in your house’s bathroom right now?: Nope. Maybe a cat?

Do you ever get eczema: Yeah, on my hands.

What’s your opinion on Miley Cyrus’ new look?: What new look?

Have you ever witnessed a serious physical fight?: Honey, I went to school in Chicago.....

How much does gas cost in your area?: Depends on the gas station but it’s under $5 I think.

Are you a fidgety sort of person?: Yes.

What was the last thing you ordered at a restaurant?: Sushi.

Do you know how the politics of your country work? Yeah.

How do you like to spend your alone time?: Watch TV mostly, or play on my phone.

Have you ever mowed a lawn?: Yes.

Is there anyone you would do literally anything for?: Yup.

On average, how many hours a day do you spend online?: I mean, I am basically connected to some form of internet all day. Phone, computer, TV...

Have you ever done a “knock-and-run” prank?: Ding Dong Ditch?

When was the last time you were yelled at? What had you done wrong?: I don’t remember thankfully.

Do you enjoy corn on the cob?: Not really. It gets stuck in my teeth. I’d rather eat it off the cob.

Is there anything good on television at this very moment?: Who knows.

What’s your mood like today?: Tired and annoyed.

Have you ever bought alcohol or cigarettes for someone underage?: Technically. I got cigarettes for a friend, but they were literally not even half a year younger than me. I just happened to turn 18 first. They turned 18 like 5 months later.

If you haven’t, would you ever do so? I wouldn’t do it now, because “underage” is WAY younger than me and I’m not about that shit.

Under what circumstances do you think it would be okay?: I mean, in the circumstances I did it in I don’t think that is that big of a deal. Or like, a parent letting their 20 yr old have a beer or something.

Do you do your laundry regularly, or do you let it pile up?: I do it every Sunday basically.

Did you ever play Habbo Hotel when you were younger?: Nope.

What about Neopets?: A little.

Have you ever had the privilege of sleeping in a waterbed?: I have. My aunt had one when I was a kid.

Have you ever had to comfort a friend over the death of a loved one?: Yeah.

When did you last watch fireworks? Did you kiss someone underneath?: On the 4th, and I think so?

In your opinion, what’s the ideal age to start having children?: I literally don’t care when you pop out a crotch goblin. You do you, bro

Have you ever stabbed a friend in the back, intentionally or not?: I don’t think so. Nothing serious, anyway.

Do you have a last.fm account? If so, what’s your opinion of it?: No.

Are you a seafood person?: It’s my favorite food.

Have you ever had to lick a ton of postage stamps and envelopes?: Yeah.

What’s the longest you’ve ever slept in one go?: 16 hours, maybe?

Do you check the weather forecast everyday?: Not every day, no. Usually only when I have something coming up that week or something.

What did you have for breakfast this morning?: A banana and two muffin bars.

Have you ever dated someone with an accent different than yours? No.

What’s the worst thing you’ve ever smelled?: I don’t know.

How long does your phone last before needing to be charged?: Depends.

Have you ever worked two jobs at once?: No.

Who does most of the housework around your house?: Mark.

How many glasses of water do you drink a day?: Enough.

Documentaries: interesting or boring?: Depends.

What brand is your desktop or laptop?: Dell.

Have you ever spoken badly about someone then realized they were behind you: Probably.

Do you enjoy the smell and taste of cinnamon?: I do.

Who were you last in a car with and where were you going?: My niece. We went to Target and got bubble tea.

How old is your youngest cousin?: If we are talking strictly first cousins, I am the youngest.

When was the last time you ate tacos?: Last weekend.

Does caffeine affect you, or not so much?: Not really.

Who was the last person you annoyed?: I’m sure my coworkers lol.

What is your favorite flavor of cake?: Carrot cake, or cheesecake if you count that as cake.

Do you make your bed everyday?: Nope.

[laurenetuttle]

Moorea Days 0-1 (July 2nd and 3rd, 2023)

It’s vacation time! My favorite time of year! This year, my mom and I decided to go to Moorea, French Polynesia! Our flight left LAX last night at 11:55 pm. Such a late flight! Had a super busy Sunday finishing packing and spending time with friends (went SUPing!). I had an issue earlier in the day checking into my flight online. My mom and I are under the same reservation. She was trying to check both of us in at the same time in the morning. She was able to get herself checked in with no problems. But with my check-in, an error kept coming up that my travel documents weren’t correct. Eek! So I spent a while trying to get a hold of someone at Air Tahiti Nui. Finally got a hold of someone who said that this was happening a lot and to not worry about it and just show up at the airport early to check in in person. So we decided to leave at 8 pm, instead of 9 pm. And thank goodness we did! LAX was a madhouse! The lines of cars were backed up onto the freeway. It was a very slow moving rush to drop people off. Once inside the international terminal, there were hoards of people everywhere! Thankfully, the Air Tahiti Nui line was super short. And I was able to check in with no problems! And thankfully, not terrible lines for the security. But still, we weren’t at our gate until around 10:30 pm with boarding scheduled to start at 10:55pm!

We got onto the flight and settled in! It was a very colorful plane. All the seats were a beautiful teal blue and they gave us colored pillows and blankets. We were super lucky to not have anyone sitting next to us! So we got to have the whole row to ourselves! In total, it was about 7.5 hour flight! We fell asleep shortly after takeoff since it was at midnight. We missed the “dinner” they served onboard. We both maybe got around 5 hours of sleep? Neither of us slept all that well. It was enough though. We got up to eat a little breakfast on the plane, which consisted of a waffle, some fruit, and a few bites of a bread. We landed at 4:55 am! Before the sun rose in Tahiti!

The Papeete airport in Tahiti is all outdoors. Most of it is covered, but there is no air conditioning!! It was quite hot and humid! We waited in crazy long and slow lines to get through immigration. It took soooo long. We were hot and sweating and tired of carrying our heavy stuff! We then passed through and were able to collect our bags. We used the airport bathroom to change into our bathing suits and our outfits for the day! The airport bathroom was absolutely disgusting. I won’t say anything more about that.

With the Costco travel package we purchased, we got all transfers included! Hooray! So we were greeted with a lei and shuffled onto a bus and transported down to the ferry terminal. We were able to sit down and relax at a cafe before boarding the ferry. We enjoyed some pastries and orange juice overlooking the ferry terminal. My mom particularly enjoyed the chocolate banana bread muffin. We then boarded the ferry around 8:10 am and were off to Moorea! We sat inside the ferry with air conditioning and both instantly fell asleep with the rocking of the boat. Didn’t get to enjoy the ocean scenery as we slept the entire 30 minute ride!

We then collected all of our stuff and walked across the street to rent a car for the day! We had wanted to rent the car the following day. But, we realized last week that there were no more automatic transmission cars available for Tuesday. So, we had to rent a car today! Made for quite the long day! It was my fist time renting a car/driving in another country! Thankfully, there’s really only one main road around the entire island and there are no stop lights!! So we headed in the right direction and stopped at a supermarket to stock up on water bottles for the week. We then stopped by the Hilton to check in early and drop off our stuff before heading out for the day! Since our rooms wouldn’t be ready until 2pm (we got to the hotel by 10 am).

We then headed up to Belvedere lookout, which is one of the iconic lookouts at a high point on the island. We then decided to do a hike to a lookout called, three pines! I had chosen it because of the swing at the end and it didn’t seem too long or terribly difficult. It was definitely a challenge though! It was so hot and humid. And the trail was hardly ever flat and there were so many tree roots and rocks sticking out everywhere! Also we hadn’t actually eaten a proper lunch… It was quite the hike. But when we made it to the top, there was a fantastic breeze! And we had the lookout all to ourselves! There were hardly any people on the hike! I climbed up onto the swing (it was treacherous). And we were able to take some great pictures and enjoy a lovely view of both of the main bays of the island! We got to see the three pine trees and all the mountains on the island. We spent about a half hour up there taking pictures and eating a snack. We then made the hike back to the car. In total, we were on the trail for about 2.5 hours? It was definitely challenging and we were both so gross feeling.

We then headed to a juice factory/distillery. We did a short tour of the factory and then had a juice and alcohol tasting! We tried their pineapple wine, vanilla cream liquor, rum, and multiple fruit juices! It was very nice! We did some shopping there to pick up more drinks for the week! We then headed back to the rental car agency. We had to drop off the car by 4pm! Which was fine! We wanted to drive more around the island. But we were both so exhausted. We dropped off the car and walked to the ferry terminal (2 minute walk) to catch a taxi. We were both so tired and everything was hurting. My mom wasn’t looking up and walked straight into a road sign and bonked her head pretty good. (She’s ok now).

We then got a ride back to the Hilton and got to get our keys to our room! We’re staying in a jungle bungalow for 3 nights that has it’s own private plunge pool! We both unpacked a little and relaxed and showered and got ready for dinner! We ate at a crepe restaurant that’s on the pier of the hotel where the overwater bungalows are! We both enjoyed a savory crepe. We were starving since neither of us had a real meal today. We also split a banana Nutella crepe for dessert. We then walked around the resort a little bit and came back to the room. We’re both exhausted. So we’re going to sleep right away! In fact, my mom is likely already asleep. She’s been in bed since before 8:30! Can’t wait for all the relaxing and swimming we’ll be doing this week! And we both are in desperate need of massages after today!

[m0chi-writer]

𝓒𝓸𝓯𝓯𝓮𝓮 𝓐𝓭𝓭𝓲𝓬𝓽 → ᴛ. ꜱʜᴏᴛᴏ

♡⑅*˖•. ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .•˖*⑅♡

The trip to the beach was fun with them grabbing a snack every time Shoto stopped to fill up his tank. They left home at 5pm because of an emergency that came up at the agency. It was a 4 hour trip including the 15 minute stop for filling up the car tank, snacks and rest for Shoto which was taken 4 times adding an extra hour to the 3 hour beach trip.By the time they had gotten to the beach the sun had set and the moon was up.The moon through the distance, the sea glittered in the moonlight, the waves gently drenching the sand.

"Wow,"Yuki said as she opened the door of the car, stepping out onto an empty beach. It was a beautiful sight as the snoozy sea lap gently, the warm tangy smell came from the sea.She walked towards the shore as the warm water of the sea crashed into her feet, she looked back to Shoto who was slowly walking towards her. Shoto felt his heart stop for a second as she smiled at him, it was angelic. Her under the moonlight was also angelic. He took out his phone taking a picture of her as she played with the waves.He looked down beside him and saw a perfectly beautiful white seashell handing it to her, their reflection in the sea dancing as the waves softly swayed back and forth under their feet.

"I have something to show you"

"Oh, okay" Shoto took her down the crescent of the shorelines of the beach to a beach house, the gray beach house with 3 glass sliding doors; one on the ground floor that was huge and two on the top floor which were for the for the master bedroom and guest bedroom in the front view of the house which leads to two different balconies which had glass railings. The lights were off but in the moonlight the gray curtain on the ground floor and white curtains on the bedroom floor were visible.Shoto led her inside the beach house to the lounge room as it was the first room.

"Welcome to my getaway house" Shoto turned on the lights, lightened up the lounge room and kitchen which were in a room together.

"Wow"she gasped, he led her by her hands to the kitchen counter, sitting her down on the chair in front of the kitchen counter."Are you hungry?"

"Maybe just a little bit, let's make soba" she got up from the chair and walked over to Shoto.

"Ok, good thing I had this place stocked up last week" he took out the pack of soba noodles from the cabinet, shaking it a little before handing it over to Yuki and picking out the pots. Shoto made the soba while Yuki prepared the cold noodle soup to which the soba will be added later. She gave Shoto a taste of the soup, feeding it to him with her hand under the spoon so as not to spill. They coupled the soba and the soup and had it before heading upstairs to change into their nightwear. Yuki opened the curtain of the bedroom and then the sliding door walking into the balcony she noticed a swinging Love chair, she sat down swinging lightly and admiring the moon and stars that lit up the sky.She felt the chair sink beside her, she leaned on Shoto and he pulled her closer to himself into a cuddle. They sat and watched the stars in silence. Shoto noticed Yuki had slept off in his arms, his finger traced her facial features admiring every part of her. He gently carried her to bed then continued cuddling. Shoto was woken up by the sunlight on his face, he picked up a remote from the bedside table and pressed a button resulting in the curtains shutting. He then noticed Yuki's face buried deep in his chest and her arms around his waist. He tried to carefully peel her arms off him and get out of bed to make breakfast for her but as soon as he got up she got up too and dragged him to bed.

"5 more minutes"she whispered as she locked her arms around him.Shoto proceeds to cuddle with her for an extra hour before making breakfast for her and spending most of their day on the beach. Their fun stay on the beach was short lived by an emergency call which they ended up having to go back home.

[daryl-dixon-daydreams]

Words: 6,188 Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Reader Reader pronouns: she/her Era: Alexandria, pre-Negan + flashbacks in other eras Warnings: language, fear and anxiety, mention of fear of heights Summary: Y/N and Daryl head out on the run for the requested medical supplies. Things are tense, but possibly about to get worse... This part is written in Daryl's POV!

Your name: submit What is this?

* * *

“I ain’t waitin’. I got a whiff of him and I gotta go before it disappears.”

“Daryl, are you sure about this?” Carol pressed him, creases from worry between her eyebrows. “Are you sure you’ve really thought this through?”

“What is there to think through? If he finds her again, he’ll kill her. And I ain’t waitin’ around for that to happen.” The archer was a blur of activity, gathering his gear and shoving it into his pack.

“I think you need to talk to her about this,” Carol insisted, relinquishing her hold on his poncho somewhat unwillingly as Daryl pulled it from her hands.

He shook his head. “Nah. Ya know she’ll want to be there and I can’t risk that…” he trailed off. “I can’t risk—can’t risk that.”

A thick silence stretched for a moment and Carol wrung her hands. “Well, what are you going to tell her?”

He paused, his hands on the clasp of his pack. “I ain’t tellin’ her anythin’. I’ll leave before its light tomorrow. By the time everyone is up, I’ll be gone.”

“What am I supposed to tell her then? When she inevitably asks?” Carol pressed him. “You want me to lie to her too?”

“I ain’t lyin’,” Daryl snapped. “‘M just not—not tellin’ her everythin’. ‘M ending this so she can move on.”

Carol’s jaw tensed. “It feels like a lie.”

“Just tell her I went north. To see what I could see. Lookin’ for supplies,” he drawled, setting his pack and crossbow on the ground beside his bed. “I don’t know.”

Carol sighed heavily and shook her head as he straightened up. “I don’t think this is—”

“Look, tell her whatever ya want. Just wait until ‘m gone. This is happenin’. It’ll be done. S’gonna be over with. For good.”

She shook her head and gave him a long look before crossing his cell and gently clasping his shoulder. “Be careful. I mean it,” she said, surrendering to the fact that there would be no changing his mind. He nodded, pulling his bottom lip in between his teeth for a moment.

“I will.”

Carol gave him one last look full of anxiety and left him.

* * *

I hardly slept. Maybe caught 20 minutes here and 15 minutes there. Anxiety about the run—that’s all it was. At least, that’s what I kept tellin’ myself. Wanderin’ into a hospital was about the dumbest shit we could do. They always promised to be loaded with unexpected bullshit and floods of undead assholes. But lyin’ flat on my back in the dark, I knew deep down it had a helluva lot more to do with her than it had to do with the run. I was tryin’ to remember the last time I’d spent more than ten minutes alone with her and it left me with a feelin’ like somebody had dropped a damn lead weight onto my chest. I turned over in bed in an attempt to throw it off, but it still sat there on my lungs. I knew exactly when we’d last been alone for longer than a few minutes. Of course I fuckin’ knew. It was burned into my goddamn memory.

But it wasn’t doin’ me a lick of good to think on it so I pushed it away and waited for the clock beside me to read 5:15 before I climbed out of bed. My gear was all waitin’ ready, except for pickin’ up a gun on the way out. I half-expected to run into her in the armory, but it was dark and empty when I grabbed a handgun and some ammo. It felt like a lonely walk to Aaron’s, up the empty street, dew heavy on the grass, and my bootsteps echoing loudly off the dark rows’a houses. I never feel right in here… with the square little lawns and lights on by the front doors. It just felt fake, like somebody had built paper houses and was plannin’ to light ‘em up to burn any minute. I couldn’t feel settled. I just felt… lost. Outta place. Like I didn’t belong.

I’d gotten rid of that feelin’ once… My mind drifted back to her like it always did. It was like I didn’t have no damn control over my own mind. She’d been the one who’d made me feel like I belonged. But now? Fuck. I’m doin’ it again. Focus, dumbass.

She wasn’t waitin’ by my bike either, so I rode up to the gate. As the lookout platform came into view, I caught sight of her climbing down, followed by Gabriel. Her pack was slung on her back, a shotgun hanging at her side and her favorite pistol in a holster on her thigh. I found myself chewing the inside of my cheek. Nerves. Anxiety. This was gonna be a long fuckin’ day.

“I’ve got the gate,” Gabriel said, heading for the latch. She wandered over and I felt a jolt when she met my eyes. I nudged my nose up in a nod, but she just looked back at me with that same stony expression. Unreadable. It always seemed like I never saw her smile anymore. Maybe she did, just not around me. I got that blank look or a glare that I probably deserved…

“Were ya on watch?” I asked, curious why she wouldn’ta gotten rid of her shift in favor of sleep, knowing we’d be heading out on a run early.

“No,” she said simply. No extra info. Typical. Why waste more on me when one word would do? She didn’t owe me nothin’. And she knew it. I swallowed my other questions and leaned forward on my bike so she could climb on. I felt her settle in behind me and glanced over my shoulder at her. She caught my eyes for a brief moment before looking away, down toward the ground. That was typical too. It was like she just couldn’t look at me. Felt like somebody twisted a blade in my chest every time she dodged me like that. And yet I couldn’t get enough of her, even if she was purposely a giant pain in the ass most of the damn time… I still felt like she was a mirage in a desert. A mouthful of cool water in a drought. Food for a starvin’ man.

Gabriel was waiting with the gate open, so I revved the bike to life again. Her arms wrapped around my waist to hold on and for a second I thought I felt her cheek press against the back of my shoulder, but I knew I must have imagined it. My heart was racing as we pulled out. I was more anxious than I had been all night. The thoughts rushing through my head moved so fast I couldn’t even focus on any of them.

Gabriel yelled at us to be safe as we moved through, kickin’ dust up that left a glowing red cloud behind from the reflection of the taillights. The ride to the city was smooth. We made good time, luckily only passing lone walkers or small herds that were easy to avoid. Around the curves, for a brief moment, she’d hold tighter to me and lean into the turns like I’d taught her in what felt like another fuckin’ lifetime. Each corner I could feel every individual fingertip pressing into my waist or stomach. It was always followed by a sudden wash of heat like somebody had shoved me in a shower with the temperature all the way up. I couldn’t control it. Didn’t matter how hard I tried to ignore the feelin’ of being so damn close against each other…

I slowed down as we neared the hospital. Cars sat rusting in gridlocked traffic, tires long gone, frozen in time—same place they were when everythin’ shut the fuck down. I slowed my bike to roll over some debris and hit a chunk of concrete a little harder than I meant to. Her arms tightened around me reflexively at the jolt before loosening again the next second. My heart jolted at the same time. That feeling… of her clinging onto me for safety—but fuck. Let’s not make it out to be more than it is, dumbass. I turned toward my left shoulder. “Sorry,” I murmured. She didn’t say anything back, just shifted in her place behind me, puttin’ an inch more space back between us. The hospital came into view ahead, tall over everything else on the block.

She tapped my arm and I turned so I could hear her over the engine. “We should park. Sound of the bike,” she said. I knew what she was thinkin’. Any walkers or people anywhere around would hear us. I turned down a side street and parked in a loading dock bay. She climbed off about as damn fast as she could. Kicking the kickstand out and swinging my leg over, she was already walking back toward the corner of the building to look down the street.

“Hold up,” I called after her. I still had to get my gear off the back. She either didn’t hear me or didn’t give a shit and I found myself gritting my teeth. But when I rushed around the corner, I nearly collided with her. She did wait. She was leaned up against the brick, her shotgun in her hands, staring ahead at the looming building.

She straightened up as I stopped beside her and we started windin’ our way down the last couple blocks, keepin’ to the shadows of the buildings, stayin’ in cover as best we could. Even so, I couldn’t help glancin’ up at the endless windows, too many high points. All it would take is one asshole with a rifle and a scope... My hands started to sweat as I gripped my crossbow. I glanced at her, but she was as stony-faced as ever. “C’mon,” I said, quickening my stride. “I wanna get the hell off this street.”

I heard her let out a small scoff behind me. “Yeah, you’re the only one worried about being out here,” she murmured. My teeth clenched again but I did my best to ignore it. There was no point gettin’ riled up this early in the day. We still had a lot of fuckin’ work to do. We reached a set of double doors on the side of the hospital, but one glance inside showed they were well barricaded. I stood there rubbing a hand over the stubble on my face. “S’try the south door,” I drawled. To my surprise, she didn’t argue. But that side was a fuckin’ bust too. “Shit,” I spat out. There was a tall cabinet blocking the entrance.

“Good call,” she said sarcastically.

I shot her a glare. And this time when I bit my cheek, I tasted blood. “Ya got a better fuckin’ idea? Huh?” I challenged her.

She rolled her eyes, studying the door for a moment. There was a large glass pane above it that was broken out and I saw her eyes lock in on it. “Boost me up there,” she said, inclining her chin to indicate the window.

Did she want to go in alone? Well, that sure as shit wasn’t fuckin’ happenin’. “Like hell,” I growled back. She rolled her eyes again.

“Just boost me through and I’ll get the door open. I’ll let you in.”

Now it was my turn to scoff. “Ya gonna move that cabinet? By yerself?” I asked skeptically. The muscle in her jaw tensed.

“I don’t have to move it far. Just enough to let you squeeze in. And you can help from the outside.”

I pulled my bottom lip in between my teeth. I didn’t like the idea. I paced a tight circle, thinkin’, as she shifted impatiently beside me. “What if ya get in there and there are walkers? Huh? We can’t see shit down the hall.”

“I’ll be quiet. Come on. We haven’t got all fucking day and we’re sitting ducks out here. Unless you’ve come up with something better—”

I didn’t like it, but she was right. Shit. “Fine,” I interrupted. She leaned her shotgun up against the wall as I set my back against the door, fingers locked together and hands low at my bent knee. “C’mon. Gimme yer foot.”

She seemed to hesitate and I wondered if she was having second thoughts, but the next moment she stepped close in front of me and her hands came to my shoulders. “Ready?” I asked. Her face was maybe six inches from mine, her hands light. I started to feel warm again, a flush of heat across the back of my neck that started spillin’ into my chest. I could see every fleck of color in her eyes, the upturned curve of her eyelashes, that little scar on her chin... Fuck. Focus.

“Ready.” She planted her boot in my hands and I boosted her up so she could grab the window edge. The tinkling of glass dropping in was all I could hear for a moment, and then her weight disappeared from my hands. Spinning around, I watched her pull herself through onto the top of the cabinet. She stayed perched there for a moment, glancin’ behind her, scoutin’ the hallway, before she dropped to her feet lightly. She made it look easy. Graceful.

I couldn’t stand still, constantly shifting my weight. I watched her face tighten as she wedged her shoulder into the cabinet, using all her weight, and it started to move at an angle away from the door. I pushed in with my shoulder from the outside and we finally had enough space for me to slip through. I passed her shotgun through first before turnin’ sideways and slidin’ in. It was dark and completely silent except for the sound of our own breathin’. It felt stuffy inside, and I could vaguely smell somethin’ sharp like animal piss and a sickeningly sweet smell. Death. Decay. I paused to draw the string on my crossbow back, cocking it ready to fire, a bolt nestled in the flight groove.

She pulled her flashlight out from the side pocket of her pack and clicked it on, shining it partially up the hallway ahead. “Jesus…” Her boots crunched over broken glass. She adjusted the shoulder strap of her shotgun, her eyes fixed down the hall, following the moving beam of her light. “This place is a fucking wreck,” she whispered. In her distraction, her tone lacked the usual hostility or sarcasm.

“Somethin’ went down since we were last here,” I agreed. There was a lot more debris and furniture toppled over and strewn about. A lot of obstacles to a clean getaway if we had to make one. “Let’s just get this done and get the hell out.”

“What a unique idea…” she remarked over her shoulder. There it was. Damn sarcasm was back.

I couldn’t help rolling my eyes and movin’ past her so I was in the lead. I knew it would annoy her, but I secretly wanted to be the one in the line of fire if somethin’ was crooked. I headed for the stairwell, pullin’ my own flashlight out and shinin’ it inside before I tried the door. It looked clear. “Upper floors are more likely to have shit left. Let’s go.”

We moved in silence. I could feel her ghosting behind me the whole way, almost mimicking my movements. This was the first time the two of us had been alone on a run since… since I dun even know when. But despite it being so goddamn long, we weren’t out of step. Once we started movin’ it was like no damn time had passed. We fell right back into our old rhythm. I knew her and she knew me. We worked well together when she put aside her need to argue with everythin’ I said. It still felt like we each knew what the other was thinkin’. Not that I expected this run would magically make working together bearable again for good, or solve anything, but at least we could if we had to. I also now was realizin’ this whole thing was probably orchestrated by Rick. Did Denise really need the supplies? Sure. But did it have to be Y/N and I gettin’ ‘em? Alone? Fuck no. I dunno exactly what he was hopin’ for but I’m pretty sure he’ll be disappointed…

Moving steadily upwards, we had most of the supplies on the list, plus plenty of extra finds, but I was growing more and more uneasy as we went on. We hadn’t run into a single fucking walker yet, and to me that meant they were probably herded up in a massive hoard somewhere. It felt like a matter of time before we found them or they found us. I could sense Y/N’s tension risin’ again too. She was more fidgety, more careful about each step she took. I found myself frequently sweeping my eyes back behind us to make sure nothin’ was lurking just outta the flashlight beams. There were the usual signs of walkers nearby; smears of blood on the floor and walls, that fuckin’ smell ya could never get outta yer nose, even chunks of flesh from the rottin’ fuckers. But we still hadn’t seen one, and I was fuckin’ worried.

“Almost got everything,” Y/N whispered to me, shoving a couple more bottles into her pack. “We just need to find the CPAP machine,” she murmured, staring down at the list. “I don’t have a fucking clue what the hell that looks like.” She glanced over at me, one of her eyebrows quirked in a question and I realized she was waitin’ for some kinda response.

“What? Yer lookin’ at me? I ain’t got a goddamn clue what the hell that even is,” I said gruffly. Shit. I saw it. Just for a second, but one corner of her lips twitched up in a smile and I swear there was a spark in her eyes—like the ones I used to see in her all the time. My heart jumped and I tried my best to ignore it. She seemed to turn away, hidin’ her face right as I was puzzlin’ over it.

“Right… well, let’s try down the hall. There’s probably another supply closet at the other end,” she said, nudging her head toward the darkness ahead.

We made our way cautiously. I pushed into the lead again and was surprised when she didn’t argue. I tried every door handle but most of ‘em just led to empty or trashed patient rooms. I caught her frozen in the doorway of one that had a massive bloodstain on the floor and spatter partially up the walls. Her eyes were wide and vacant, and I wondered what she was reliving. “Hey,” I said, just over her shoulder. She seemed to pull out of it abruptly and she turned away, moving on like nothin’ had happened. I let her go ahead, mainly so I could keep an eye on her for a minute and make sure she still had her head in the game, but I didn’t need to worry. Not about that anyway. She’d always been tough. She wasn’t shaken by shit easily. I knew that. And yet I still had this drive to want to protect her, even though she didn’t need it from me. And she definitely didn’t want it from me.

“Here,” she said suddenly, slinging her gun back on her shoulder and more fully opening the door to a small supply closet. There was hardly enough room for her to stand inside, so I posted up just behind her and strained my eyes and ears for anythin’. “It’s all electronic stuff,” she whispered, entirely focused at the task at hand. Her hands floated from one device to the next, illuminated by her flashlight. She was looking for some label or model number or somethin’ to tell her what they were. She bent down and grabbed some scattered papers from among the boxes on the floor. Swearing under her breath she held one up to the flashlight. “Of course the cover and all the useful shit in the front is torn off,” she muttered. She was bending down to grab another handful when there was some sudden, deep noise on the floor above us.

My heart seemed to stall out for a moment and she straightened up and froze, her eyes lifted toward the ceiling, lips partially parted. The sound seemed to reverberate through the building. I could feel it beneath my feet. It resonated through the walls. After a moment, I was looking at her and she glanced over and met my eyes, her eyebrows a little furrowed with worry.

“What the fuck was that?” she asked in a harsh whisper. I only shook my head. She gulped and refocused, shakin’ it off, focusing back on the papers. She was flipping page after page, scanning them as fast as she could.

I started to hear some more noises above us and then eventually spilling toward the other end of the hall. My grip on my crossbow tightened. “We need to move,” I said, keeping my voice low.

She was still intensely focused on the manual in her hands. “Just gimme a minute…” she said vaguely.

I shifted, turning more toward the far end of the hallway, straining my hearing. There was more clattering above us. “We might not have another damn minute.”

“Just—hold on—”

Fuck. I stood frozen for a moment as a herd of walkers started to spill out from the stairwell at the other end of the hallway and start toward us. “We ain’t got a minute, Y/N!” I urged in a harsh whisper. She didn’t seem to hear me.

There were more walkers than I could count. They hadn’t spotted us yet but I had to move fast, so I did the only damn thing I could think of and pushed her forward into the closet, pressing in after her and shutting the door as quietly as I could. I instinctively clicked my flashlight off and hurried to grab hers and do the same, plunging the two of us into darkness in that small space.

“Daryl, what the hell?!” she snapped at me. She’d been so focused she was completely oblivious to the mass of dead wandering our way. The goddamn closet was so small I had no choice but to be pressed into her… My heart started to pound and I think it had more to do with her against me than the undead assholes outside. I was sure she’d be able to feel it and prayed she’d just think it was adrenaline or somethin’. “What the fuck are you doing?!”

I shoved my hand over her mouth, all my patience gone. Did she really think I’d shoved her in a closet for the hell of it? “For once in yer goddamn life just shut up!” I growled in a low voice. She seemed to tense against me but in the quiet the sounds of the walkers outside the door were now easily heard above our ragged breathin’ and they were growing louder every second. I still had one hand over her mouth and the other clenching my crossbow at my side. She shifted against me and pulled my hand away. I could hear and feel her breathin’ pick up pace. I planted my palm on the wall behind her, next to her head, very aware of the growin’ heat pooling between the two of us where we were pressed together. The air felt suffocatin’. I started to worry the walkers outside the door would be able to hear my breathin’ I was so nervous. I wanted to shift, move away from her like I’m sure she wanted… I wanted to change positions and get my bow up, but it was impossible.

She didn’t seem to know where to put her arms within the tight, dark space. I couldn’t blame her. I was leaned in against her, sorta over her even. I felt her hand accidentally brush my arm and my body jolted a little at the contact, like some reflex I didn’t know I had. My teeth ground together. After that she seemed to settle away from me, into the wall behind her.

We had to just stay there, fuckin’ frozen, hardly room to breathe while the hoard passed by. Every once and a while, a body would thump hard against the door and I’d feel her flinch. I could feel sweat dripping down my neck and beading up on my face, my hair sticking to it. We were so close I could feel her breath against my skin when she faced toward me. I felt the rhythm of her breathin’. And I couldn’t ignore the fact that in that tiny ass closet, the only thing I could smell was the faint scent of her shampoo. I tried hard not to notice, but I’d be lyin’ if I said I didn’t try to put some name to the smell. Lavender? Not quite. Maybe more like rose? I dunno. And despite the possible death lurking just outside, I found it hard to focus on anythin' other than the feeling of her against me.

It felt like it took hours for the hoard to pass, but it was probably only ten minutes. But after the sounds drifted away we were still left with a big fuckin’ problem. They had to go somewhere, and my best guess was that they were travelin’ down.

It was so dark in there I couldn’t even tell if my fuckin’ eyes were open or closed, and it seemed to be makin’ it hard to think… Or maybe the angle of her one hip pressed into me was—fuck. Get it together, man… I fumbled for and clicked on my flashlight, findin' the two of us both wincin' at the sudden glare, noses almost touchin'. She was lookin’ up at me, her lips softly parted, her expression only full of concern for once, that little worry line she always gets near her eyebrow.

We both stayed like for a second. I guess just struck by actually seein’ how close we were in the sudden light, until finally she tore her eyes away and turned her head.

I tried to clear my throat, worried my voice was gonna come out soundin' strained or somethin’. “Uhh… sounded like they were goin’—”

“—down. Yeah,” she finished.

My eyes traced the angle of her jawline as she kept her face turned away from me. I heard the paper manual crinkle in her hand and groped for the doorknob behind me. “Yeah,” I agreed quietly. “So, we got a problem about gettin’ out.” My hand finally landed on the doorknob and I turned it and slowly opened the door on the hall, checking both directions carefully but also feelin’ like if I didn’t put some damn space between the two of us again I was about to explode. It looked clear and I stepped out. Glancin’ back, she still seemed frozen, up against the wall, her face turned away toward her shoulder so I couldn’t really get a read on her. “Hey. What is it?” I prompted her.

“Hmm?” She seemed to snap back to herself. “N—nothing…” She went back to searching the manual in her hand, like nothin’ had fuckin’ happened. Just one goddamn time I’d like to know what the fuck is goin’ on inside her head… But I ain’t got no right to that. She’s made that pretty fuckin’ clear.

It wasn’t the right manual or the right machine. But she went through two more until she found it. “Got it,” she announced, waving the paper at me before shoving it into her already full duffel bag. She seized a small machine from the shelf and started trying to rearrange items to make it fit in her pack.

“I got room,” I said, still nervously checkin’ over my shoulder. I thought I could hear the hoard moving below us, maybe two floors down.

“It’s fine. I can make it fit,” she said, jostling more stuff in her bag.

I rolled my eyes and grabbed the damn thing from her, slinging my crossbow strap over my shoulder. “Ya’d really rather split yer pack at the seams than take any fuckin’ help from me,” I murmured. I didn’t wait for an answer. I didn’t need one…

She stepped out of the closet and I caught her wiping her forearm across her forehead. It left a smear of dirt near her hairline. I had to pull myself back to the present. “So, how are we getting out of here?” she asked, adjusting her pack and the duffel bag strap on her shoulder.

I glanced at her, knowing she wasn’t gonna like my idea.

She rolled her eyes. “Well, you’ve obviously got something. Just get on with it.”

“Fire escape,” I said.

I watched the muscle in her jaw twitch as he jaw clenched. “Fuckin’ great…”

“Unless ya got somethin’ else—”

“You know I don’t,” she snapped back at me. She wiped a hand across her forehead again, swiping away fresh drops of sweat. “It’s—” She cut herself off. “Let’s just go,” she sighed, defeated.

I looked at her for a second more, trying to gauge just how freaked out she was, but it didn’t seem to matter. We didn’t have any other options.

“Let’s go,” she snapped again. “Before I change my mind about being able to handle this.”

“It ain’t—”

She squeezed her eyes shut and I watched her body tense. “I swear to god, Dixon, if you say ‘It ain’t that bad’ or ‘It ain’t that high’ right now, I will lose my shit and attract every fucking walker in this goddamn building. I don’t even give a fuck.” Her jaw muscle twitched.

I couldn’t help letting out a sigh that was more of a growl than anything but then I turned and headed for the window a couple doors down that I’d noticed was busted out. Leaning through, I scanned the outside of the building for a fire escape. Nothing on that side.

“It’s probably around the other side. Let’s try the end of the hall,” she suggested. Her boots stayed rooted to the floor and I glanced at her again. She caught my eyes and must have read the concern on my face.

“I’m fine. You’re the last person I need worrying about me,” she growled.

Fuck. She could be infuriating… I found my hand clenching and unclenching a few times before I followed her back out of the room.

She was right. There was a fire escape down that side. I grabbed a piece of metal off the floor and straightened up. “Ya ready?” I asked one more time. “They might hear this glass break so we gotta fuckin’ move.” I thought her hands were a bit shaky.

“Just do it,” she said. And this time, I could hear the quiver in her voice.

I smashed the window and knocked out the glass before pullin' myself through. The metal grates rattled under my boots and she looked suddenly sick as she approached the window sill. I hesitated a second before reaching a hand out to help her through.

“I’m fine,” she said. She didn’t look fine, but she gripped the ledge and climbed out. “Oh, fuck. Fuck…” she muttered as her feet landed on the platform. She was keeping her eyes fixed straight out. Even just the metal grates at th prison used to freak her out, and that was one floor.

I wanted to comfort her but… I wasn’t dumb enough to think it’d help or that she wanted me to, so instead I just started down the stairs at a good pace. She followed stiffly behind me, gripping onto the railing with white knuckles and falling behind.

Every once and a while I’d glance back and she looked like she was about to be sick, but she was still following. We hit a snag as we reached the third-floor platform. A large part of it had rusted and fallen away, leaving a gaping hole we would have to edge around to reach the next set of stairs.

“Oh, you’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.” I heard her behind me and when I looked back her eyes were wide and round and she was clutching onto the railing like it was a lifeline.

“S’fine. I’ll cross first. Just keep over—”

“Oh, really, Daryl? I should keep over to the side? You mean I should stay away from the huge fucking hole in the goddamn floor?” It kept drawing her eyes and I’d see her rip them back up and away, reeling.

I knew that was mostly coming from the fact that she was fuckin’ terrified, but every harsh word from her still stung. “Fine. Clearly, yer good,” I spat back. “Ya don’t need me and ya don’t give a shit and yer fine. I fuckin’ got it.” So much for trying to calm her down. I edged past the hole in the metal grating and went down the next set of stairs. Finally, I just had to push down the ladder, climb down, and we’d be on solid ground again. But when I looked back up, she was still frozen where she had been, on the far side of the platform. I watched her for another minute, waiting to see if she’d move. I knew she wasn’t gonna ask for help, not from me, but she obviously needed it and tough shit, I’m the only damn person here. I rubbed a hand across the back of my neck, anxious to even try again, and climbed back up. I edged past the rusted-out hole and stopped next to her. “Just gimme yer hand.” She didn’t loosen her grip on the railing, and her eyes landed on my face. “S’fine. Just for two seconds, lemme fuckin’ help ya.”

Her chest was heaving with fearful breaths and I guess the idea of tryin’ to cross along that edge alone was worse than puttin’ her hand in mine. Part of me still thought she’d take the heights over me, but she didn’t… She pried her hand off the railing and placed it into mine. I—I can’t say my heart didn’t jump when my fingers closed around it. The motorcycle. The fuckin’ closet. Now this. We’d hardly been within six feet of each other for years and now all this in one day… I felt dizzy. It ain’t like Rick could have predicted these things would happen. He sure as shit couldn’t command a hoard to force us into each other in a tiny closet… but he must have been hopin’ for somethin’ by sendin’ us out here. Was it gonna work on her? I fuckin’ doubt it.

As we stepped along the edge of the edge of the platform, she held her breath. She always seemed like nothing in this fucked up world scared her anymore, nothing phased her. Half the time it almost seemed like she didn’t give a shit if she died. But this? Heights? This still scared her on some level she couldn't reason away.

But we made it across just fine. She was gripping onto me so tightly I thought she might have bruised the bones in my damn hand. And as we climbed down the next set of stairs, long past the danger, she was still holding onto me. But just as quickly as I realized it, she slipped her hand out and stiffened next to me again, fixing her eyes away toward the railing, which she grabbed onto again desperately.

We made it down the ladder, dropping onto the concrete and making a run back to my bike, slippin' from cover to cover, packs heavy and weighing us down. I was thinking how batshit crazy it was that we’d just done a hospital run and hadn’t had to kill a single walker AND managed to get all the damn supplies... when we rounded the last corner and a string of curses left her mouth.

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me. What the fuck?!” She knelt down next to my bike and as I looked, my stomach dropped.

“Son of a fuckin' bitch.” Both tires on my motorcycle were slashed. Ruined. Fuck.

We were stranded in the city without a runnin’ vehicle and somebody knew we were here.

[lovelylilpostitnotes]

‘86 Baby

Here is a chapter 1 of my stab at an Eddie Munson x Reader fanfiction. It follows the plot of season four, with a little time prior to the events of the show. I’ve tried to keep this fic as self-insertable as possible without making the reader’s character totally flat. And of course please feel free to use your imagination and switch details in your head if you so please. Happy reading everyone!

(and my apologies for any grammar or spelling mistakes, if you see ‘em let me know so I can fix it)

Chapter 1

First day of senior year. Finally. 

I woke up bright and early that morning, having barely slept at all the previous night due to all my anxiety. And when I say early, I mean early, like 5:00 a.m. early. I tried to sleep for a little while longer but to no avail. At least till 6:00, please, I thought as I tossed and turned. 

 The first day of school was always the worst for me. I was always sleep deprived, jittery, and nauseated to the point of dizziness. I wanted today to be different though, so I finally gave up on forcing myself to sleep and started getting ready. I went to the bathroom first and did the skin care routine I usually never had time for before school, in moments like those I just splashed my face and slapped on moisturizer. But not today, no today I would take my time. 

Once I had finished up all my bathroom activities, I headed back to my room to put on the outfit I had picked out at least three days ago. I was glad to see it still looked as good as I thought it did when I picked it. In fact, I thought I looked pretty cute.

 Maybe waking up so early wasn’t that bad after all, I had so much time to make sure I looked nice. 

Once I was done with everything in my morning routine, I stared at myself for a little while, taking in the reflection of a person who looked confident and absolutely unapproachable. I loved it. 

I then quickly brushed out my hair, making sure it was nicely tousled. And then I was off down the stairs with my already packed backpack. 

“Good God, you’re up early, child,” my dad said with a laugh as he drank his coffee, still in his pajamas with hair looking like that of a baby chick’s. 

“You know I can’t sleep,” I chirped as I dug through the fridge for my own “sacrilegious” coffee mix. 

“Yeah, yeah I know, but I wish you would.”

“Me too, dad, me too.” 

 Two cups of heavily sweetened coffee and a single piece of toast later, my little brother was finally up. 

 I waited impatiently at the door as he scrambled around to grab food. “C’mon dude, you had forever, we have to go!”

“I’m coming, dickwad,” he snapped, slinging his bag over his shoulder.

“Watch your mouth!” my mother hollered after him as the two of us hurried out the door. 

 “You know it isn’t smart to hurl insults at the person who takes you to school and back everyday, and also acts like your personal chauffeur while you’re still in the puny permit stage,” I taunted as we got in my car. 

 “Yeah, yeah whatever,” he muttered as he furiously mused his hair in the mirror.

I laughed and put the car in reverse, heading down the driveway and off to school.

By the time we pulled into a spot, my nerves had once again escalated out of my control. At least there were a few more minutes before we needed to head into the building, I would have a chance to try to calm down. 

“So are you excited for-” I started, turning towards my brother as I spoke. The words died on my lips however as I watched him swing up out of the car and run off to meet his friends who were lingering outside. “Oh, wow, yeah I love you too, see you later, have a good day,” I huffed in annoyance. 

I decided if he was going in I might as well not just sit in my car alone like a loser, so I grabbed my bag from the back and slid out. As I walked towards the building, I yanked my walkman out of my backpack and put on my headphones, sighing as the familiar first few cords of Holy Diver by Dio began. This was definitely my best mix by far, everything I needed to make my brain buzz too hard for it to worry about anything else. Nothing beats the shit out of your anxiety like Black Sabbath, Mötley Crüe, and Dokken. 

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not some kind of metalhead snob. I listen to everything. From Madonna to Micheal Jackson to Elton John. It just has to resonate with me, has to scratch the itch.

Anyways. 

I could feel the anxiety creeping back into its deep, dark hellhole as my music rattled my brain. It wasn’t even that loud, or so I thought. 

“Hey could you turn that shit down or something?” one of the basketball players hollered with a laugh. 

I glanced at him over my shoulder, barely hearing what he said, but deciding with resounding confidence to flip him the bird. So I did. I could hear them yelling and jeering at me as I walked away, but I simply didn’t care. They would forget the interaction ever even happened by the end of the day so I wasn’t exactly concerned. 

Once I was inside, I pulled my bag around and dug through it to find the printed schedule the school had mailed out to everybody. And once it was in my grasp I was off down the hall to find one Mrs. O’Donnell’s room. 

It took me all of about 10 minutes, her room was one of the first in the English wing and after a quick peek into the almost empty room, I decided taking a seat outside by the lockers would be a much better idea. 

So I backed myself up against the wall and slid down till I was sat criss-cross, my bag lying right beside me. I sighed and shut my eyes, leaning my head back as Angela by Mötley Crüe raged in my ears. My thoughts were running rampant around my head, apparently my music wasn’t doing its job anymore like it was meant to. I couldn’t stop worrying about all the assignments to come, waking up early everyday, and the homework I knew I was about to be loaded with. Oh, and the fact that this was my last year of high school and I was going to be off at college next fall. At least I had that decided, I could only imagine how much worse it would be if I had no idea where I was going. Future student of Indiana University Bloomington, right here, sitting on my ass in a dusty high school hallway.

“Um, could you move?” a very faint voice came through my music, abruptly interrupting my train of thought.

 My brows scrunched as I tried to decide if that was a line I’d never heard in the song before or if someone was talking to me. I opened my eyes just to check and felt my face flush with heat when I realized it was in fact the latter. “Oh- I’m so sorry,” I said, hopping up quickly and getting out of the way, averting my eyes immediately. I had kind of forgotten someone might need to get into the locker behind me. Oops. 

“It’s no big deal, just been asking for 20 minutes,” the boy huffed, as he dug through his locker. It sounded like he was smiling. 

I pulled my headphones down around my neck, my face reddening again. “I’m really sorry, I was in my own world.”

“I could tell,” he laughed as he closed his locker, having only pulled out a single binder. I had at least that and two notebooks just as a first day precaution.

“Oops?” I said sheepishly, finally looking up at his face. I felt my eyes widen a little as I realized who I was talking to, Eddie Munson. And I could tell by the way that his smile dropped, he noticed too. 

“I promise I won’t sacrifice you with my cult for it,” he grumbled, about to walk away.

“No- no I’m sorry, I’m just surprised to see you at school this early,” I assured, regretting it immediately once I realized that in order to have noticed that, I would’ve had to have been paying attention to him before. 

He picked up on that too and turned back to me with a shit-eating smirk. 

“And why is that?”

“W-well you see- we had art together, first period, last year, and you only ever showed up halfway through if.. if ever,” the more I talked the more I wanted to find a place to go curl up and die. 

“Mm, I’m surprised you noticed,” He grinned again and walked past me, our shoulders brushing slightly. “My uncle made me come on time today, said I’d lose car privileges.” And then he ducked into Mrs. O’Donnell’s room. 

I practically choked on the air I was inhaling and had to take a second to lean against the locker. After a moment or two my regular oxygen levels had returned, so I took one last deep breath and walked in, headphones on, volume and eyes down. 

I hurriedly took a seat at the back, too busy watching the floor to avoid Eddie’s eyes to realize I had sat down right next to him. 

“What’re you listening to?” 

I practically jumped out of my skin and I could hear him laugh through the guitar playing in my ears. “U-um- Fear of the Dark- Iron Maiden,” I stuttered out, pulling my headphones back down. I really hadn’t been prepared to make any conversation this morning, let alone with the infamous Eddie Munson who should be known for how fucking good he always looked,  not his music taste and personal interest in the “satanic” game of D&D. 

“You listen to Iron Maiden?” he asked, raising his eyebrows so that they disappeared up into his bangs.

“Eddie, please take a look at me and tell me you really didn’t expect it at least a little,” I said, faking exasperation. Ooh, that was good, that was a good one, look at you go, I thought, internally cheering myself on. 

“Nah, sorry, you look way too indie for that shit,” he taunted. 

“Oh please, I practically own the genre,” I quipped, pursing my lips to avoid the smile that was trying harder to fight its way to the surface the longer we talked.

“Ahuh sure,” he said, his voice a little lower than before as his eyes flitted down to my lips. 

I felt my ears grow red when I noticed where his gaze had gone. I had practically given him the invitation to look but still, this was something I had only ever read about in my collection of romantic fantasy novels. It was flustering.

“What else do you listen to?” he asked, snapping me out of it. 

I tried to refocus enough to respond but with the way he had looked at my lips and the wide spread position he was sitting in, it proved quite the challenge. “Um, well there’s some Black Sabbath on here, Dio, Metallica, Mötley Crüe, Iron Maiden of course, Dokken, Van Halen, Poison, and Scorpions,” I said, honestly rambling at that point as I counted off my fingers. “But of course this isn’t my only mix, I’ve got one of all the so called cheesy mainstream songs too, and some indie stuff, no country, haven’t found something I like in that genre yet. I’ve got a classical mix too, I usually play that when I write to kill the silence but not mess my head up-” I cut myself off and flushed a deep red when I realized how much I had just over-answered his question, and his cheeky little grin didn’t make me feel any better. 

“Well aren’t you somethin,” he muttered, turning his head to face the front as Mrs. O’Donnell began to bring the class to order. I could see him overdoing his little act of paying attention. He completely shifted forward, brought his legs together, and clasped his hands on the desk, waiting for her to begin her lesson plan with a mocking amount of devotion. 

But while he was busy pissing off the teacher, I was shriveling up inside having just embarrassed myself so deeply in front of Eddie freakin Munson. I didn’t think I would ever recover from the several blows my ego had taken in the small span of just 20 minutes. 

“Alright everyone, this year’s reading schedule is going to start off with the timeless play, Macbeth,” Mrs. O’Donnell announced once she finally had everyone under control. 

I watched out of the corner of my eye as Eddie swung his feet, still grinning in his evil, cheeky way. I however was not even capable of fake excitement, I had already read Macbeth in an advanced program I had been in before I’d moved to Hawkins in late middle school. Not that it wasn’t an excellent story to analyze, but nobody ever cared enough to look into each theme and line like I did. So, it often just made group work difficult and humiliating, even in an advanced setting. 

“We will be reading this act by act, scene by scene over the next few weeks, and at the end you’ll need to write an analytic paper. It may be on a character, a theme, a recurring line or scene, so on and so forth. Any ideas outside of the few I just listed, must be run by me first,” she finished up her spiel. “Now, Munson, come pass these copies out.” Her tone changed, becoming slightly.. malicious? Whatever it was, it was entirely inappropriate for a teacher.

I watched him curiously as he got up and strutted to the front of the room. He swooped up the basket of books like this was all he’d ever wanted to do and began passing them around. And everytime his hand extended down to a desk, I could see the kids pull back and make faces at him. Faces that he returned in kind.

It irritated me. It’s not like he had ever done anything wrong, he just listened to intense music and played a fantasy board game. Sure, he was a little strange and a twice repeating senior but it was a charming kind of strange. And I could tell he wasn’t stupid, he just had things he’d rather think about. And okay yeah, he did sell weed in the woods out back of the school, but these kids had no room to judge seeing as they were the ones giving him business. It just didn’t make sense to me, but I guess there really was no rhyme or reason to it, just prejudice. 

“And one last thing, you will be reading in your table pairs, and I expect everyone to be done with the required amount by the next day of class even if that means you take the book home,” Mrs. O’Donnell said once Eddie had finished passing out books. “My apologies for that, Y/l/n.”

The classroom rumbled with soft laughter, even Mrs. O’Donnell smiled at her own bad joke. 

I was the only one not laughing. “I don’t mind, Eddie and I will do just fine,” my voice was sharp but my smile innocent.  

Her face faltered a little as the laughter turned on her and she took a seat behind her desk. “Don’t speak back to me like that again, Y/l/n, or you will have detention.”

“Yes ma’am.” I said, and then turned my gaze down to my copy of the play, thumbing through it thoughtfully. 

“Thanks, for that,” Eddie murmured, leaning over in his seat towards me. 

“Anytime, they’re all just asshats anyways, definitely peaking in high school,” I replied, not looking up from the play but inclining my head in his direction. 

He laughed softly and returned to leaning back in his chair like he had been before class started. 

I smiled to myself and my feet swung a little under the desk. I had a feeling this really wasn’t going to be such a bad arrangement. 

[futuremrsreid]

Baby Steps

Request: @gubswh0re requested: "hi! could you do 20,25 & 48 from the promt list all in one? would be amazing, thank you!!"

Summary: A case gone wrong and Spencer blames himself. Reader tries to make him feel better.

Couple: Spencer Reid x reader

Category: hurt/comfort, angst, a bit of fluff if you never felt happiness before

CW: sad as fuck uhm I lowkey broke my own heart but its also really sweet

Word Count: 1,9k

If I had to describe Spencer Reid handling his emotions in two words, they would be “quiet suffering”. In the two years I have known him he only opened up a handful of times. Not in the sense of him never talking about his past or things that happened to him, but whenever he talked about these things, he tells them like one of his facts. He tells you that his mother has schizophrenia, but he doesn't tell you how he feels about it. It always reminds me of a medical anamnesis.

On rare occasions, he would break. Everything became too much, even for him. I remember the first time I witnessed it very clearly. It was after he visited his mom for a few days and, from what he told me, she was in such a bad condition that she didn’t even recognize him. He was devastated and when he was on his way back he drove straight to my apartment, not knowing how to deal with everything. Spencer didn’t call or text before he arrived there and saying I was surprised when I opened my door doesn't even come close. His eyes were bloodshot and it looked like he hadn’t slept for weeks. Truth be told, I was very overwhelmed so I did the only thing I could think of. I pulled him inside and hugged him as hard as humanly possible. 

In the office everyone always jokes about Dr Reid and his fear of human touch, but he hugged me back so hard that breathing became just a little difficult, and in that moment I realized the reason he doesn’t hug people isn’t because of his fear of bacteria. It’s because of the closeness of it. My heart cracked then.

The next discovery I made was that Spencer is a quiet cryer. I didn’t even notice it until his tears started seeping through my shirt and I could feel the wetness. I don’t know how long we stood there, but when I could feel him calming down a bit, I pulled away just enough to be able to look at him. He was extremely embarrassed and started to pull away completely to cover his face with his hands, but I’m too stubborn for that, so I grabbed his wrists and made him look at me. He started crying again then. 

It took an hour until he started telling me what got him so upset and after that we talked the whole night, about his mother, her sickness and everything related to it. I always hoped that he would open up about it eventually, but when he finally did, I couldn’t handle it very well. I tried not to cry myself, but that is hard when the person you love most breaks down in front of you like that. 

That night I held him close, let him lie on my chest, played with his hair - everything to try and make his pain go away. And after that day I thought things would have changed, that he would stop hiding and open up more to me,  but I was very wrong. When he woke up the next morning he apologized about a hundred times and no words or reassurance made him less ashamed. Afterwards he tried to act like nothing had ever happened.

So in conclusion: I had done a lot of difficult tasks in my life, but getting Spencer Reid to talk about his feelings was by far the most difficult. Nonetheless, today was one of those rare days.

We just came back from a really shitty case that resulted in more victims than it should have due to the police department holding back evidence. It was messy and frustrating and exhausting. Spencer was there when one of the victims was shot and he blamed himself for not preventing it, even though we all told them that there was no chance that he could have done it.

And as if the case itself wasn't bad enough, we were stuck for more time back in the office to do the paperwork. When the clock turned 8 pm Hotch came out of his office to tell us to go home. We all sighed in relief and started packing up our things. All of us except a particular dr. He was still sitting at his desk, typing away on his computer. I watched him for a while, contemplating what to do, and after everyone said their goodbyes, I walked over to him.

“Come on. I’ll take you home”, I said, leaning on his desk trying to catch his eyes with mine. No luck.

“I still have work to do, I’ll take the subway home later.” He continued typing like i wasn’t even there and I got frustrated. The case was already bad enough and I would not stand here watching him torture himself.

“That wasn’t a request, Spencer.” I didn’t intend to sound so harsh but hey, at least it made him look at me. “We are gonna leave. Now.” He opened his mouth to protest and closed it again, he knew better than to argue with me. My eyes said it all: If he would stay, I would stay. And since Spencer Reid cares about everyone but himself, he closed his computer and packed up his things.

The walk to my car was quiet, and so were the first 5 minutes of driving. I kept glancing at him from the driver's seat, but he was looking out of the window, lost in thought. The guy on the radio made a stupid comment and normally he would have immidiatly complained, but it seemed like he didn’t even hear it. His brain is a beautiful place with a million facts and ideas, yet I can imagine how scary it can be as well. When Spencer gets really lost in his thoughts he begins to spiral and I can just guess that that is what happened at that moment. Only then I came to the conclusion that he wanted to stay and work because that would distract him from anything going on inside. 

“Talk to me, Spence.” My tone was pleading, practically begging at this point.

“I’m fine, y/n.” I sighed. I was thinking about just letting it go, but then I thought about him alone in his apartment, stuck in this beautiful scary brain of his. I wanted to help, but I didn’t know how. I took a deep breath. If you're lost, stick to what you know.

“Do you trust me?”

“What?”, he turned to me with a quizzical expression on his face.

“Do you trust me?”, I asked again, looking him in the eyes this time.

“Of course I trust you. Why are you even asking me this?”

“We’re making a detour. I’m gonna show you something.” My words didn’t leave room for questions so we just fell silent again. He continued to watch me with a questioning look, but i tried to ignore him. I was too focused on taking the right turns anyway. It was hard to find my way in the dark, but 5 minutes later we were there. I got out of the car and waited for Spencer to do the same and after he did, he seemed more confused than ever. I walked over to the familiar building and fished for a key at the same moment. 

“What is this place?”

“It’s an art gallery. My mom used to work here.” I found what I was looking for and started to unlock the door.

“And you just have a key to this place?” If the circumstances were different, I would have laughed at his confusion, however, the circumstances weren’t different.

“Yep.” The door opened and I looked for the light switch. “Come on, just follow me.” 

I led us up the 5 flights of stairs and then, after 2 more doors we were finally there. The place that has been the only place I called home for the years before I joined the team.

“Are you sure we should be doing this? We’re not breaking in right now, are we?” At this I did laugh. I stepped further onto the rooftop. 

“Relax Spence, we are not breaking any laws.” He was still hesitant so I took his hand and pulled him to the edge. The railing was high, meaning there was no danger of falling down. I let go of his hand and leaned on it. The building was on a small hill and since it had a few stories, you were able to look over a big part of the city. It was always a beautiful view, but that night was extra special. It was a Friday in the late summer, which didn’t only mean the sky was clear, there were also a lot of traffic lights and buildings that shone bright. 

I just watched and after a few minutes Spencer stood beside me and did the same. Some time passed before I broke the silence.

“How many people are living in the US?” He didn’t hesitate before answering. It was like a reflex for him by now. I liked to ask random questions all the time and to this day, he always had an answer.

“331.002.651 people.” I paused for a few seconds.

“You can’t protect all of them, Spencer.”

“Y/n I-”

“I mean it, Spence. It is humanly impossible to protect everyone. You can protect some of them, maybe even a lot, but you won’t ever be able to do that if you keep beating yourself up over incidents like today.” He sighed and opened his mouth to speak, but I wasn’t done. “I know how you feel and I know it’s not easy. There was no chance for you to save that girl, Spencer. Zero. And if you can’t accept that, you will lose yourself. And then you won’t be able to save anyone anymore.” I know it was harsh, however, sometimes that's the only language he understands.

“You could have said all of that in the car.” He paused. “Why did you take me here?” I didn’t expect him to comment on what I said. He knew I was right, that’s all I needed.

“My mom sometimes took me with her on her shifts and after she was done we would go up here. After she died the owner gave me a key so that I could come here every time I needed it. Or needed her.”

“Do you come here often?”

“Not anymore. This place was the only thing making me feel at home for years and I came almost every day, but when I started working at the BAU I stopped going here more and more. And now I don’t really need it anymore, because my apartment finally started feeling like home. Especially when you are there.” I looked at him while saying that last sentence and I saw him smile for the first time in days. His eyes caught mine.

“Thank you, y/n.” Those words could have many different meanings. Thank you for taking me here. Thank you for staying. Thank you for making me feel better. But it didn’t matter what he meant, because I knew.

“Do you want to go home?”

“I think I’d like to stay for a bit longer.”

And that's what we did. We stayed there for hours. That night we talked through every possible way of how Spencer could have acted differently, yet every scenario ended with the death of that girl. After that he finally accepted that it wasn’t his fault. Baby steps.

[multiplefandomfics]

Everything happens for a reason

Pairing: Bucky x reader (Former Steve x reader)

Warnings: cheating, angst, pregnancy, semi-public sex, Steve’s an ass in this one,

Words: 5213

A/N: Well this escalated quickly! When you have too much time at work stuff like this happens :D!

I have no idea how they do a c-section or any medical terms of that field other than the stuff I’ve seen on Grey’s Anatomy so forgive me when the birth is wrongly described.

“Babe? You home?” you called out to your fiance excited to tell him the news. No response, so you ventured further into the dark hallway.

You could see light coming from under the bedroom door. Thinking nothing of it because it was already relatively late, you walked to the room and opened the door.

You had not expected the sight before you though. You’re husband to be in the throes of passion with not one but two women.

Shocked, you slammed the door shut again which caused the threesome to startle.

“Honey? Why are you home already? I thought you were gonna go for a drink with your friends.” he called out to you while ripping the door open again…..

“That’s your excuse to cheat on me? That I was not going to see it? WHAT THE FUCK STEVE! We wanted to get married!” you screamed at him and then threw the engagement ring towards his head.

You stormed past him into the bedroom, grabbed some clothes and necessities from your closet and stuffed them into a suitcase. He tried to reason with you, that he wanted to feel free one last time and could pass up the opportunity of a threesome. Like that was actually an excuse.

Everything he said was ignored and so 5 minutes later you sat in your car and that was when the dam broke. You wanted to cry and yell at the same time. How could you have been so stupid as to think someone as honorable and good looking as Steve Rogers was not gonna follow the temptation of so many willing women at some point? You wiped your tears away and contemplated where you could be going for the night.

After thinking for a while you had figured out that most of your friends were also Steve’s you didn’t know if they were going to take his side or yours.

Natasha was not the right idea, she would probably break into his house and kill him in his sleep if she found out he cheated on you like that. And maybe you were in the right mindset to let her do it right now. Wanda and Vision were out of town and Tony would only tell you “I told you so”. That left only one other person in the world you liked enough to see right now. Bucky Barnes. So without further notice you drove to his apartment complex and rang his doorbell at 1am with a packed suitcase in your hand.

“Yes.” you heard a groggy voice through the speakers at the entrance.

“Ehm, hi Bucky. It’s Y/N. Something happened, can I come up?” you were already close to tears again. He must have noticed so he was immediately wide awake and buzzed the door open.

You took the elevator up to the 4th floor and he was already standing in the doorway to his flat only in boxer shorts and a t-shirt.

“Hey, doll. What happened? You look worse for wear.” he looked concerned and let you inside.

“I feel awful for disturbing you in the middle of the night. But I didn’t know where else to go.” you fell into his embrace after he had opened his arms.

“It’s okay darling. Now tell me what happened please.” he inquired.

“Of course. Where do I start?” you frantically searched for words.

“Best if you start at the beginning.” he smiled encouragingly.

“Yes, sure. So tonight I wanted to go for a drink with a few girls from work but didn’t feel alright after work so I rainchecked last minute and went home. But when I stepped into our bedroom, oh Bucky it was terrible, Steve wasn’t alone. There were two naked girls in bed with him.” you had fat tears streaming down your cheeks.

“Impossible. Steve is not a cheater. You sure you saw that right?” The doubt in his voice made you angry.

“I know what I saw Buck!” you got defensive.

“Okay, I believe you. It’s just that I never saw Steve disrespecting someone like that. I’m so sorry for you doll.” he looked genuinely affected by the whole situation and he could understand how Steve could hurt you like this.

“But that’s not the worst part yet… The reason I didn’t feel great and didn’t go out with my friends is… I’m pregnant Bucky and Steve doesn’t know.” you looked downwards.

“Fuck! That is getting more and more complicated. But congratulations doll. You will be a great mom.” he hugged you close. “How about I’ll make you a cup of tea and then you try to sleep a bit.” he suggested.

“Alright. Thank you Bucky. You are my best friend.” he smiled sadly at that statement. He wished you were more than just friends. Maybe now he would have a chance somehow.

Before he could get up though his phone rang.

“It’s him Y/N. You want me to ignore him?”

“No, then he knows I’m here for sure. Tell him you haven’t seen me.”

“Okay, will do.”

“Steve? Do you know how late it is?” Bucky asked with his best impression of a just out of bed voice.

“I’m sorry pal but I need to find Y/N. I did something stupid and she left. Do you know where she is?” you could hear Steve through Bucky’s much too loud phone.

“I’m sorry Steve. I haven’t heard from her. You just woke me up.” he lied.

“Damn! I need to make this up to her. I’m so sorry. If she comes to you, could you tell her I need to speak with her, please? I love her too much to lose her.” you swallowed more tears threatening to escape.

“Sure, buddy. You wanna tell me what happened?” Bucky feigned cluelessness.

“Maybe later Buck. I have to call the rest of our friends.”

“Alright, but don’t do anything stupid.” Bucky said and Steve hung up.

“You heard him, didn’t you?” he asked you.

“Hmm.” you confirmed.

After you had drank your tea he left you the bed and slept on the couch. When you snuggled into the covers they smelled so delicously like Bucky. A mix of soap, coffee and something uniquely Bucky. For one split moment you had thought about asking him to sleep next to you but that would have probably sent mixed signals and you didn’t know what you wanted at the moment.

You woke up feeling cold. Shivering slightly you opened your eyes and noticed that the blanket had fallen off your body onto the floor. Sitting up you rubbed the sleep out of your eyes and the realization of what had happened struck you a moment later.

“Chin up! You are a queen! Don’t let that idiot make you cry again. He’s not worth it!” you told yourself and got up to get some food.

“Good morning, Bucky.” you greeted him while he was standing at the stove making scrambled eggs and bacon.

“Good morning to you too. How did you sleep? And do you want some breakfast?” he asked cheerily.

“I slept like a baby and hell yes I’m so hungry.” confirming his suspicions.

Bucky and you ate together in comfortable silence. Until he spoke up: “So Y/N you know you can stay here however long you like and I don’t mind kicking Stevies ass for what he’s done to you but you should at least tell him that you are with me. I can’t lie to him forever.” he really had a point.

“I know. Thanks again for taking in a stray in the middle of the night. And I know I will have to talk to him eventually. He hurt me so bad but I’m more afraid I will give in again when I see his puppy dog eyes although I can’t trust him anymore.” you looked so lost. Bucky wanted to wrap you up in a blanket and never let you go again.

That week you called in sick. You couldn’t stand the people at work.

And when you came back on monday, guess who was standing outside our office building with a exagerrated flower buquet.

“I’m sorry babe. I shouldn’t have done that to you. You are the best thing that has happened to me. Please don’t leave me.” he begged. You had to admit seeing Captain America beg was a sight for sore eyes.

“Hello Steve. You are correct you shouldn’t have cheated on me and I am deeply disappointed in you. Thank you for apologizing but I won’t come back to you. You have broken my trust and I can’t just give it back to you. I will be over in the next few weeks to get the rest of my stuff out of your apartment and leave my keys. Now I have to go work. Bye Steve. Oh, by the way, you will have to call all our friends and family that the wedding is off. I’m not doing that.” and with those words you turned away from him and clapped yourself menatlly on the shoulder at how confident and sovereign you had handelt that situation.

If you had thought the deal was over there you had definitely celebrated to early.

Of course Steve found out you had been staying with Bucky all along and was mad as hell.

He suddeny stood inside the apartment, however he got in there, and started throwing insults at Bucky and especially you.

“Here you are you little slut! Have already replaced me, hm. How long has this been going on? You preach something of trust and here you are fucking my best friend behind my back! I should have known.” he raged.

“Calm down you idiot. There is nothing going on between Buck and me. He has just been a friend when I was hurt needed one.” you yelled back enraged at the accusations.

“Who do you wanna tell that, Y/N. Do you think I haven’t seen the way you two look at each other?” he was still so angry. You had nevern seen him this full of rage.

“So what it is none of your business anymore anyways.” you knew you couldn’t bring him to believe you anyway. He needed to find a different cause of why you wouldn’t come back to him than the simple reason that he had cheated. He wanted to blame you, not himself.

“Could you please leave now? I don’t feel so good.” you suddenly felt your lunch coming back up to greet you and ran to the bathroom.

The men heard you puking. One knowing the reason the other not.

“What’s going on with her? She sick?” Steve asked Bucky.

That was your clue to burst through the bathroom door.

“I’m pregnat you ass! You cheated on your pregnant fiance!” you yelled and stormed into Bucky’S bedroom, jamming the door shut behind you.

Steve looked aghast at Bucky “did you know?”

“She told me the night she came to me. She had wanted to tell you then. That’s why she didn’t go out with her collegues.”

“Fuck! I destroyed everything, haven’t I?” he asked Bucky in defeat.

“Give her time. She probably won’t want to marry you, maybe not even be your girlfriend again but maybe she will at least let you see your kid.” Bucky stated matter of factly.

“But I wan’t more Bucky. I want her.” he whined.

“Well, you had everything, pal. But you destroyed it. I better go talk to her. You should really leave her alone for a while.” he clapped Steve on the shoulder, maybe a bit harder than necessary and went after you.

“Y/N? He’s gone.” Bucky carefully stuck his head into the room. You were lying on the bed, on your back staring at the ceiling.

“Good.” you muttered. “I couldn’t stand him anymore. I’m afraid Bucky.” you confessed. “I can’t raise a baby on my own and I don’t know if I want Steve involved.”

“I can understand your worry but I don’t see any reason. You are so caring and selfless you will be a great mom. And if you let me I can help you. Kids seem to like me apparently.” he encouraged you and smiled.

“Thank you, Buck. I definitely will need your help. I am going to be a single mom and that’s completely okay.” you smiled at him.

“That’s what I wanna hear. Now, you hungry after everything just came out?”

“Yes. I’d like Pizza please.”

“Alright, princess I will order some.” he stroked your cheek and got up to get the delivery running.

“So he actually cheated on you? I would have never expected that from Steve. He always seems like a gentleman. Unbelievable.” Wanda exclaimed.

“Yeah. Absolutely insane. But congrats on the pregnancy though. You will be a rockin’ mama.” Nat hugged you. “And we will help you with whatever you need.”

“Thanks, girls. You are amazing. You know I want you to be godmothers, right?” you asked.

“Hell yes. We’re in.” Nat squealed and you never heard her squeal.

Weeks ticked by and you really searched for an affordable apartment somewhere close to your workplace. That was harder than you anticipated though.

After 3 months of moving in with Bucky you had still no place of your own and you constantly thought you were overstaying your welcome.

“How are you two doing today?” Bucky asked you as he came home.

“We are fine. Had a lot to eat and listened to some music. By the way my OB was able to find out what we are having. You wanna know?” over the past months Bucky had become more a father to the baby than Steve had been. Steve rarely called or wanted to now anything about you or his baby. Bucky seemed more than content to take up the role of its father.

“Hell yes I wanna know. Tell me!” he ordered exited.

“Alright, drumroll…. It’s a…. girl.” you announced.

“Oh, wow. Great. A mini you not a mini Steve.” he laughed and you had to laugh too.

“Buck?” you asked suddenly.

“Hm?”

“I want you to be in this girls life. As more than just her mommys friend. More as a rolemodel. A…” you stopped to think about your next words carfully. “More like a dad.” and out it was. Now you only had to wait for his reaction.

“You want me to be her father? Hmm. On the one hand I would love to. I feel so close to her already but on the other hand I don’t want to affront Steve. Even after everything he is my friend. Can we talk about what there is between us first? Maybe if we have that settled all will slip in place.” he suggested.

“Maybe you are right. What is there between us in your opinion?”

“Look Y/N, I have always felt a connection between us. Although I would have never acted on it because you were Steve’s girl, it hurt everytime I saw you with him. And when you got engaged I seriously considered moving abroad so I wouldn’t have to see you building a life with him. If I could imagine myself as the man by your and your daughters side? Of course. There is nowhere I’d rather be. And we are practically living together already anyway.” his confession only superficially shocked you. You knew there had always been feelings from your side too. That’s why it had been so easy to confide in him. He took your silence as hesitation and became insecure “I mean if you don’t feel that way I will accept that. I swear I can be just a frien….” he wasn’t able to say more because you had already stopped his rambling with a bruising kiss.

“So you do feel it!” he observed.

“Of course I do you dummy. You have always been there for me. I’m sorry it took me so long to realize it was actually you who I should be with.” you apologized.

“The most important thing is that we have that figured out now.” he kissed you again and you melted into it.

“Yes, we do.” you smiled.

Another few months flew by and you had started to stay at home because you were constantly feeling dizzy or nauteous when you moved.

“Bucky come here. Now!” you yelled for your boyfriend one snowy december morning. Alarmed he stormed into the livingroon where you were parked in front of a movie with a cup of hot chocolate and a really big blanket over one of Bucky’s hoodies.

“What’s wrong? You okay?” panicked he jumped onto the couch next to you. “No nothing is wrong. Here- Give me your hand.” he gave you his right hand and you pressed it to the place on your belly were you had just felt her kick. When she did it again he almost jumped out of his skin. “Woah, what was that? Was that a kick?” he asked astonished.

“Of course Buck. What else was it supposed to be?” you laughed.

“She is strong. Damn so cool.”

“And she keeps kicking even more when she hears your voice. Maybe she likes it if you sang to her.” you smiled expectantly.

“Oh, no. No one wants to hear me sing. I have a terrible voice.” he refused.

“Steve told me differently. He said you were in church choir together as boys.” your smirked at him.

“He told you that.” he sighed.

“Oh, yes he did. So come on. Sing something for our daughter.”

“Our daughter?” he asked, you realized what you had said and blushed.

“I like the sound of that.” he grinned from ear to ear and that was the moment you were 100% sure that he was it for you.

“I love you so much.” he whispered and kissed first your protruding belly and then your mouth.

You were speechless. “I love you too Bucky.” you replied.

Your daughter grew everyday. Everytime you went to an ultrasound at your OB Bucky was by your side and although the doctor knew he wasn’t the babys biological dad she said that he was doing so much better than most fathers to be. He took so much pride in your baby girl that you almost burst with love for him.

After 9 months of carrying her it was finally time to let go. When the contractions started Bucky rushed you to a hospital and although he didn’t want to he called Steve. And Nat and Wanda of course.

The doctor and midwife did their exam of you and the baby quickly before figuring out that something was wrong.

“She is lying sideways. We can’t deliver her naturally. We need to get her by c-section or you will both die.” the OB made clear. You knew things like that could happen. You had mentally prepared for anything but now that it actually came to that you were more than afraid.

“Wo should stay with you? Only one person can.” the doctor informed you.

Steve, who had just entered the room and had heard everything of course assumed immediately that he was gonna be invited into the OR with you.

“I want Bucky to stay with me.” you whined. Steve got pretty angry and almost ripped the door off its hinges when he left. “Bucky I’m afraid.” you whispered to him. Uncaring of Steves abrupt departure.

“I will stay with you, doll. Through everything. You two will get through this.” he encouraged you.

“Thanks Buck. Let’s get this baby into the world.” you said.

“Good attitude.” the doctor approved.

They rushed you into the OR. Bucky never leaving you and holding your hand the whole time. During the procedure itself you were awake but you got a spinal anesthesia to numb everthing from your belly downwards.

“I will keep a pretty ugly scar Buck. Don’t you mind that?” you asked him a little drunk on meds.

“No sweetheart. I love you so much I don’t care about scars. You don’t care about mine either, do you? Scars are just proof of what you have gone through and survived. That’s what you always used to say. Isn’t it?” he quoted you.

“Yes maybe.”

“Plus it will always remind of our beautiful daughter. That’ll be worth it, don’t you think?” he asked.

“Yes, sure. I love you Buck.”

“I love you too and you are doing so great. Isn’t she doc?” he asked the OB.

“Oh, she’s doing great. Everything is perfect.” she answered but by the nervous facial expression she had on her face and the rushing nurses surrounding her Bucky knew that something was wrong.

Suddenly a baby cried. Relief flooded through Bucky. “Look there she is.” he pointed to your right and you rolled your head over and smiled. Then you passed out.

“Y/N? Y/N!!!” Bucky yelled. “What happened?” he asked the doc full of panic.

“She lost a lot of blood but we are giving her donations now. Go see your daughter and we will do everything we can to save her.” she explained to him. But Bucky would not be Bucky if he left your side.

They sewed you up and 3 hours later you awoke in a brightly lit room. Beeping machines by your head. You looked around, complketely confused until you saw the cutes thing you had ever laid eyes on. Your angel of a boyfriend was sitting next to your bed in an armchair, holding your baby daughter to his chest and singing softly to her.

You started weeping immediately. Still high on drugs and hormones.

“Baby what’s wrong? Are you in pain?” he asked worried.

“No, I am just so happy. You two really are a sight for sore eyes. I can’t contain the love in my heart.” you kept crying happy tears.

“Would you give me our baby?” you asked politely.

“Oh, of course honey.” he got up and placed the blanket wrapped burrito into your arms. When you saw her crystal blue eyes and slightly dirty blonde hair you had to hold back new tears.

“What should we call her?” Bucky asked you.

“I always loved Autumn as a girls name or maybe Freya. What do you like better?”

“I love them both. Double name? Or keep one for the next baby?” he suggested.

“You are already thinking about a second child?” you laughed. “Give me a bit of time to recover and then I would love to have another one with you.”

“Sure so Autumn or Freya?” he asked again.

“Let’s go with Freya. It’s such a unique name. And strong as hell. I think it suits her.” you chose.

“Great. I love it. And I love both of you.”

“Has anyone been in here yet?” you asked him.

“Not yet. I wanted you to see your daughter first before the others came barging in. Steve nearly broke down the door when I refused him to come inside. I handled him and security told him if he didn’t calm down he needed to leave and he wouldn’t be allowed back inside.” he broke down the events of the past few hours for you.

“That sounds so not like the Steve I know but seems like that is who he became. I think if you hand me a glass of water for my parched throat first you can let the others inside.” you instructed him.

After downing the entire bottle of liquid the whole party came trampling into the room. Steve pushed the rest rudely out of the way. But instead of asking how you were doing after losing so much blood he just grabbed your daughter out of your hands to look at her. It didn’t take 3 seconds before the infant was crying like crazy. Steve startled and immediately handed her back to you. “Why is she always crying? She’s definitely yours.” he commented. Bucky gotreally angry at that comment while you tried to calm your baby.

“I think you should go, pal. You are irritating her with your attitude.” Bucky suggested nicely.

“Who do you think you are? You are not her father. I am.” he turned beet red.

You finally had enough. Handing Freya over to Nat who took a step back, you sat up a little and faced Steve. “In the past 9 months Bucky has been more a father to her than you could ever be. He was there when I hung puking over the toilet bowl. He brought me the strangest snacks without asking twice about it. He always had the nicest words to say to me no matter how depressed I felt. And where the fucking hell were you that whole time?” you asked him angrily.

That made him stop still. “You left me!” he tried to defend himself weakly.

“GET OUT!” you yelled at him.

He obeyed because he knew he couldn’t say anything to make the situation better.

“Wow, that was intense.” Wanda commented.

“He needed to hear that.” you said.

“Yes, he did. And now to you and your daughter. She is adorable. What’s her name?” Nat changed the topic.

“Thank you Nat. Her name is Freya. I have always loved that name.” you answered.

“That’s a beautiful, strong name. Fitting!” Wanda commented.

“So when will you be able to get out of here?” Nat asked, still holding your baby.

“I don’t know. Haven’t spoken to a doctor yet.”

As if on cue the door opened and your OB entered.

She told you that everything was healing and that you needed to stay for another day and then you and your baby could go home.

Three weeks later you had already accustomed Freya to her crib. You went on walks everyday. Bucky always by your side. Protecting you both like a wolf protects his pack.

Six months ticked by like nothing. Suddenly Freya was already playing with her mobile which was hanging over her bed. She was very attentive. Crawling all over the apartment fast enough that you almost couldn’t catch up.

It was fulfilling to be a mom but also tiring. You needed a day off so as the nice godmothers that your friends were they took her from you for 24 hours. At first you slept in. You would have happily stayed in bed all day but Bucky had other plans.

So you took a shower and put on a nice dress but you forwent the high heels cause you still had swollen feet sometimes and couldn’t walk in them anyways.

“Where are we going Buck?” you smiled.

“You will see, doll.” was his cryptic answer.

He drove out of town until you reached the hills. Parking the car somewhere in the middle of nowhere you got out of the car and he pulled a picnic basket out of the trunk.

“A picnic? That’s so sweet.” you swooned.

“I thought that would be nice.” He seemed somehow really nervous.

When you had found a clearing he put everything down and you two sat and ate. Sandwiches, fruit, cheese, crackers, chocolate covered strawberries. Everything was so delicious. “Thank you for this Bucky. It’s the best date I have ever had.” you complimented.

“It is wonderful. And I would like to ask you something.” he turned so he was kneeling in front of you and pulled a box out of his jacket pocket. You clapped your hand in front of your mouth and tears sprang to your eyes.

“Y/N I have loved you for so long. We have a great life together, a wonderful daughter. I would like this to hold forever. Will you marry me?” he asked.

You threw yourself into his arms and he crumbled underneath you “YES! Of course I will marry you Bucky. I love you so much!” you confirmed.

He put the ring onto your finger and you kissed deeply. The kiss turned heated quickly. You, still lying on top of him, wriggled your hips. He turned you on so much you wanted him right that moment.

“Woa, hold on doll. You sure you want to do this here?” he mumbled against your lips.

“Don’t wanna wait any more. Waited too long.” you mumbled back.

His hands immediately went to the zipper on your back and pulled it down. You sat up so you could wriggle your arms free and pulled the dress over your head, leaving you in your panties and bra. “So beautiful.” he groaned and buried his face in your boobs, nipping and sucking hickies only he would be able to see later.

All the while you frantically ripped at his clothes, pushing the jacket off his shoulders and unbuttoning his shirt. Then you roamed your hands over his muscular chest intensely. Grinding down on his growing erection got you so wet. You hadn’t gotten any action in over a year and you knew he hadn’t either so this was likely going to be over way too soon. You had to savor any moment that it would last.

With his help you got him out of his jeans and you saw that he was not wearing any underwear. “Naughty boy. No underwear?” you commented, smirking.

“More comfy that way. Why don’t you make it even more comfortable and sit on my dick, doll?”

“With pleasure.” you moaned and sank down on his massive cock. “Fuck!” you groaned at the slight discomfort. You felt like an inexperienced virgin again. “Shit. Don’t stop.” he moaned lustfully.

You rocked your hips sensually and he met you with every thrust.

He hit all the amazing spots deep inside you and you felt your high approaching way too fast. “‘m so close, baby.” you moaned with your eyes closed. Just lost in the pleasure of every stroke inside you.

“Me too. Wanna come together. Open your eyes, darling.” he panted.

So you did as he had asked and when your eyes met his baby blues you lost it and came all over him. That in turn triggered his orgasm and he spilled inside you.

Breathing heavily you slid off of him and cuddled into his side while he pulled a blanket over you.

“That was so great.” he said.

“Hmm, and you know what? I’m still not on birth control again. Maybe… we’ll soon have a mini you running around.” you smirked.

“I would like that very much. Life is always better with a sibling.” he kissed your head.

Well and what can I say- 9 months later you gave birth to a healthy, dark haired baby boy which you named Ben. Your family became the most important thing in the world. You didn’t even want to think about a scenario where you hadn’t found out that Steve cheated on you. You were the happiest when you were with Bucky. That’s where you belonged.

[spenciegoob]

Who Needs Luck?

A/N: hi! I solely wrote this because of my 3 recent visits to NY (no, I sadly did not meet mgg)... plus i’ve been going there my whole life.. this is becoming the longest authors note, but as i’m writing I just want to say the people who work at food trucks in nyc are the nicest people ever, ask them about their day (AND TIP OMG PLS)

Summary: Reader invites Spencer to go to New York City with her where he finally sees the beauty right in front of him.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Category: Fluff!

Content Warnings: reader can’t drive very well (I apologize if this is a callout post), slight road rage, language

Masterlist

Word Count: 2.4K

____

I never considered myself a lucky man. Life had proven time and time again that no matter how many four leaf clovers I set out to search for, how many pennies on the ground faced heads up I stumbled across, luck was never on my side. I’ve learned to live with it, accepted my fate as the world’s smartest punching bag long before I was even in college.

But then I met her, and as cheesy as it sounds, I didn’t need luck that morning.

The second I woke up, the universe seemed to have it out for me specifically. I swung my legs over my bed, and in my half asleep daze stepped on my glasses, successfully breaking them. Unable to see on my short trip to the bathroom, I stubbed my toe… twice. Once I finally finished my morning routine more methodically, I walked out of my apartment only to bump into a stranger, sending the coffee she was holding all the both of us.

I had tried to apologize so many times, cutting my words short when they didn’t feel right. I had gotten through a series of “I’m, uh, oh, I, you,” before her smile interrupted my thought process, leaving me awestruck instead.

“That’s okay, but you owe me a coffee now.” She giggled, actually giggled, even with the scorching liquid causing her shirt to stick to her body. “Maybe… together?”

I didn’t hesitate to agree, taking her up on the offer that weekend and never looking back. Even when a loud crash, followed by a quiet, harsh ‘shit’ woke me up in a startle, there was no regret. Maybe just a little concern for my girlfriend who now that my eyes have adjusted to the darkness, can be seen holding her knee on the floor of our bedroom.

“Hey, I didn’t mean to wake you,” she whispered out, grabbing onto the dresser to stand straight again. Once she was on her feet, she came over to sit on the edge of our bed, immediately running her fingers through my hair. If I wasn’t so worried about her knee, I probably would’ve fell asleep again.

“Are you okay?” She giggled at my scratchy morning voice before nodding her head. It’s then I realized how the sun hasn’t even begun to rise, the room still pitchblack. “What are you doing up?”

“Getting ready to go to the city, sleepyhead,” she said as if it was the most obvious answer, but truthfully, it left me with more questions.

“At... 5 am?” I sat up, glancing at the alarm clock three times just to make sure I was reading it right. She may have always been a little strange, but usually at a reasonable hour.

At this, she stood up to continue getting ready for the very early morning. Now I notice why she fell, the piles of clothes leading to the closet had to have at least half of her outfits compiled together.

“Well, yeah. I want to get there before noon.” Even in my perplexed state, I rose from the bed and carefully tiptoed around haphazardly thrown clothes to reach her.

While wrapping my arms around her waist still hidden under my t-shirt, I questioned. “It’s right outside? You have 7 hours.”

She turned to look at me funny as if I wasn’t the one digging through clothes and waking up before dawn to walk literally 5 minutes to my desired location. My eyebrows must have subconsciously furrowed at one point, because she brought her hand up to stroke her thumb on my forehead. Immediately, I felt the tension melt, no longer caring to correct my confusion. She still did it anyway.

“Not DC, silly. New York!” I wish it were untrue, but my heart dropped at her words. She was leaving, going to a city I wasn’t familiar with beyond reading about, solving cases, and memorizing subway maps. Is this how she feels every time I board that jet?

“W-what? You’re just going to New York City?” I inwardly cringed at how desperate and sad I sounded, but I really didn’t want her to leave.

“Mhm,” she mumbled, turning back around to return digging in her closet.

“For how long?” Please change your mind. Please change your mind. Please change you-

Realizing that I was fully awake, she let out a boisterous laugh, allowing the way it bounced off our four little walls to return back to us. It was a sound most treasured. “I was hoping to get back around 9.”

“What?” I leaned back to look at her like she was absolutely preposterous. I mean, she was!

“Roadtrip!”

That’s how I found myself in the passenger seat of her car, no coffee in my hand because I wasn’t allowed until I have “a real cup of coffee.” Whatever the hell that means better happen soon, because as much as I loved watching the way she concentrates on the road in front of her, my eyes were starting to droop.

“It’s going to be another 4 hours. You can sleep, my love.” How she knew me so well, I will never be able to figure out, but I was out before we even made it across state borders.

That however, didn’t last very long. My girlfriend may be short and sweet, but behind the wheel? That’s a different story. The horn to her car is a very familiar sound when I’m jolted awake by a sudden stop.

“Really, asshole? Go!” She yelled, slamming her hand against the top of the steering wheel before looking over at me. “Hey, I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to wake you yet. I forgot how awful drivers are here.”

“Where is here exactly?” I questioned, sitting up from my slouched position to find cars practically on top of each other on a road not wide enough for two lanes.

“New Jersey. We’re 10 minutes away.” Wow, I didn’t realize I slept for that long, and I have to admit I’m a little surprised I wasn’t woken up sooner.

“How are we 10 minutes away? It’s at least another 30 to get to the tunnel.” Looking at our surroundings didn’t help me determine our exact location. To the left of us, there were dozens of graffiti murals on the side of what I assumed was another elevated highway. To the right, sidestreets with local businesses ranging from auto repair shops to fast food joints to gyms.

“Nuh uh, stop analyzing mister. You’ll know when we get there.” She waved a finger in my directions, putting a pin in my scrutinization. I pouted right back, successfully playing along to the theme of her scolding me like a 5 year old.

“I don’t like surprises you know.” It was the truth, but her contagious laughter that filled the car made me slightly less disinclined to stop asking questions.

“Oh I know, but trust me, you’ll like this one.” She went to go reach over to grab my hand from where it was resting in my lap, but stopped short and retracted in favor of slamming the horn. “Oh, come on!”

***

“So you drove to a train station... in New Jersey?” I asked while she was… attempting to park the car.

“Well, yeah. I’ve been taking this route since I was a little girl.” Once she finally figured out how to evenly space a two door convertible in a very spacious parking spot, she unbuckled her seatbelt, and was quick to grab her bag from the backseat. “Well, come on mister, we’re going to miss the train.”

To be quite honest, I have never been so lost in my life. I could probably pinpoint our exact location on a map if I wanted to, granted I was given any sort of information, but part of me didn’t want to. Scratch that, all of me didn’t want to, because my entire life has been planned out in front of me before, but right now, I get to be spontaneous with the most beautiful girl on the planet.

“Don’t let go of my hand,” she told me, lacing our fingers together and pulling me forward. “Don’t stop to look around, you will get pushed.”

We made it inside, and if I thought the DC transit system was bustling with people constantly, this place was so much worse. There were hallways left and right, all packed with people in a rush. It seems everybody had some place to be and zero time to get there.

“Upstairs.” We walked up two flights before reaching a platform, buying our tickets and making it just in time for a train to arrive. “I know they come every 8 minutes, but thank god we made this one,” she said as she sat down.

The cart we were in wasn’t too crowded, and once I finally found a map on the wall across from us, I saw that it was a direct ride to the World Trade Center.

“You said you took this train when you were little?”

“Yeah, I went to the city a lot as a kid. This was the easiest, and the cheapest way there.” A small smile played at her lips, obviously the product of some childhood memory. “I used to hop it.”

“Of course you did,” I laughed back with her, thinking about how an innocent looking child would be the first person to get away with sneaking onto the train.

***

“I said it before, I will say it again. Do not let go of my hand.” This time it was more stern, and if I were being honest, I would say that it got me the slightest bit nervous. She must have noticed, she always does, because she continued. “Don’t worry, it just gets congested and I don’t want to lose you.”

She was right about that, it indeed was very congested, but that was okay because she was holding my hand, and I would follow her just about anywhere if it meant she kept looking over her shoulder and smiling when she saw me. Once we made it across the way, and in front of heavy looking glass doors, she turned to me and started walking backwards.

“You okay? This is definitely not off to a great start.” She was wrong, it was off to a perfect start.

“Yeah, I’m okay, but you might want to watch where you’re going,” I said before her back hit the door.

“Please I can get here with my eyes closed.” And then we were outside, and all 5 of my senses were hit immediately. The sun was shining down on us, and before I could complain about not bringing my sunglasses, she handed them to me. My heart fluttered at the innocent act, taking the sunglasses with such gratitude even though she had already moved on to retrieve hers. “Do you smell that?” She asked.

“There are a lot of answers to that question,” I told her, not knowing if she was talking about the smell of the construction happening at the corner, the permanent garbage smell or something entirely different.

“The hotdogs, silly. Come on, there’s nothing like ‘em.” This time, I laced our fingers together, not because I was scared of losing her, I was, but I just really wanted to be closer to her. She didn’t mind, in fact, she let out a content hum and leaned her head on my arm as we walked to the stand.

“Can I get four hotdogs with sauerkraut and two grape sodas,” she asked the vendor, who politely nodded before moving on to prepare our food.

“You’re going to have a heart attack by 35,” I said as I nudged her with my shoulder. She gave me a small push back before answering.

“Is that a doctor’s diagnosis?” She asked as she took our now ready food into her hands, after paying the man before I even had time to blink. I just grabbed the two cans of soda and followed her where she was making a beeline for a park bench. “Watch out for skaters.”

“Yes, it is indeed a doctor's diagnosis.” I unwrapped one of the hotdogs before taking a bite. I closed my eyes and let out a content hum. “It may be a little worth it.”

“Exactly.” We sat there quietly, enjoying the warm weather and sounds of wheels against pavement. At one point, she rested her head against my shoulder, and I am convinced wherever she went would be Heaven.

***

“Are your eyes closed?” We found ourselves with both our hands interlocked, my eyes closed while she walked backwards. I gave an ‘mhm’ before she continued. “We’re here, just keep them closed, and…” her words trailed off. “Okay open.”

I opened my eyes to her holding her arms out in the middle of the largest bookstore I’ve ever seen. “Surprise!” My eyes were bouncing everywhere. It wasn’t too crowded, the large stairwell across the store catching my eye first. There were bookshelves tens of feet high, all loaded with different genres and authors. To the right of us, tiny knick knacks and pins and socks. It was beautiful.

“Wow,” I whispered out, still stuck in my place admiring our surroundings. She was beaming up at me, a hint of pride at her successfulness to drag me 6 hours away to the most beautiful place I’ve ever seen.

“The Strand has always been my favorite place in the city. Come on, let’s go explore.” She grabbed my hands again, pulling me deeper into the store towards a shelf labeled adult fiction.

***

Six books, three pairs of socks and a postcard later, we were back on the busy streets of New York, aimlessly walking and admiring the tall buildings and different attractions. Well she was, I was admiring the way she was looking around like it was her first time here. Maybe I should have been paying more attention to our surroundings, but no amount of skyscrapers or fountains could possibly ever match up to her level of beauty. 

“Have I ever told you how much I love you?” I asked randomly, startling her into jumping a tiny bit before giggling. She stopped us, turning to face me fully before reaching up to grab my face in her hands.

“Once or twice.” The kiss we shared on the New York streets were no different than the ones before, but this time, it felt like a silent promise. A passing between two lovers that no matter where we are, our love is the most beautiful thing there is. “I love you too, dork.”

___

Join a taglist here Tell me your thoughts on this fic here Have a request? Send it in here

Taglist: @the-girl-who-writes-fanfiction​ @haylaansmi​ @masumiyetimziyanoldu​ @cielo1984​ @rexorangecouny​ @username2002​ @calm-and-doctor​ @pieceofried​ @mermaidshmari​ @missyoumaybank​ @everythingbutnormal​ @seasonfivereid​ @no-honey-no​ @muffin-cup​ @90spumkin​ @spenxerslut​