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moni-logues · 17 days ago

Text

Reciprocity

Pairing: Yoongi x afab reader (Kintsugi couple) feat. A Fine Line Couple

Genre: established relationship

Word count: 5.8k

Summary: A couples' holiday with Suri and Namjoon highlights a particular problem between you and Yoongi.

Content: one reference to self-harm (cutting) but discussion of scars, oral sex (f. receiving), discussions of sex life stuff?, i guess some poor communication, overheard sex

A/N: yes, it's me once again with my favourite characters no apologies. i have been thinking about this since maybe even before i finished the series??? and i'm glad to have it finally out of my head. this is unedited and unbeta'd, written by me in the course of this one single day and well, here we are. This is set in the summer, somewhere a few months after the ending of the series.

* * *

“It’ll be fun!”

Yoongi just nodded and continued carefully folding clothes and packing them in a bag.

“You don’t want to come,” you continued, heart sinking a little.

“Of course I do.”

“Tell your face.”

He smiled then but didn’t want you to see it, turned around to fetch underwear from a drawer. When he turned back, his face was schooled into something a little more neutral, polite.

“I’m not saying it’s my first choice of holiday,” he explained, “but I want to go.”

“Good, because you’re coming whether you like it or not!”

You hopped off the bed, gave him a kiss on the cheek, and then moved into the kitchen to prepare snacks for the road. At the advice of your therapist, you were taking Yoongi at his word: if he said he wanted to come, you would believe him and it was not your responsibility if he was lying. Even though it felt like it was.

A week in the sun had been your initial suggestion. Somewhere where the heat wasn’t a curse, but a blessing. Clear blue skies and cool water. Peace. Unbridled joy where the real world couldn’t touch you. Even you weren’t entirely sure when it turned into a couples’ holiday, but it was an idea that neither Suri nor Yoongi would ever come up with, and you weren’t sure about Namjoon so it must have been yours. Sounded like the sort of thing you would say. Yoongi had said yes and let you do the research, find somewhere not too far away, easy to get to but far enough to feel new, to feel fresh.

He had been fairly tight-lipped about it since then. Got a little quiet when you brought it up, when you showed him tourism websites with activities laid out. He insisted he wanted to come but never quite managed to muster up the level of enthusiasm you’d hoped for. In a way, that was just Yoongi being Yoongi, but there was anxiety in you, too, and it was making you sensitive. You could see everyone hating the idea, hating the trip, having the worst time. The awkward silences, arguments about what to do or who should clean what. Namjoon had joked that he would have to force Suri to come and he had said it with a laugh but you knew it was true.

You turned your head and looked out of the car window at the increasingly green scenes around you and bit your lip. It felt incongruous somehow to not be happy and peaceful when the environment was so lush and bright with life. With ease. With a natural kind of solidity that had stood for hundreds or thousands of years and was still standing. You felt small and silly to be worried about this but it didn’t stop you worrying. Yoongi’s hand found yours and, like it always did, made a warmth start in your heart. You closed your eyes for a second of intense gratitude and then turned to him.

“It’ll be fun,” he said.

And it sounded like he meant it.

You and Yoongi arrived first, took the back bedroom overlooking the lake at Yoongi’s insistence because it was the better view. You had stopped on the way for groceries and you stocked the fridge, took out food to cook for dinner, since it would be about that time when Namjoon and Suri arrived.

The cabin was wooden and new, so new it still smelt literally pine-fresh. The sun was just starting to dip, dripping golden light over everything, spreading a thousand tiny diamonds on the surface of the lake. It couldn’t have been more picturesque. It made you want to send a postcard for the first time since you were a child. You settled for texting photos to Taehyung who told you to stop messaging him. Your ripples of anxiety were peaking, anticipating Namjoon and Suri’s arrival and what sort of dynamic it would bring, how it might disturb the peace of this place.

Yoongi tore you from the window and asked you to start peeling vegetables. You were glad of the task.

“-t I don’t want to be here, it’s just going to be weird.”

Suri’s voice came from the hallway and you froze. So did Yoongi.

“I don’t know why you keep saying that-” Namjoon - “it’s not as if we’ve never spent time with them. You like them.”

Suri’s hum in response sounded unconvinced.

You heard the kicking off of shoes, could follow their footsteps into the living room, around the corner from the kitchen where the two of you were hidden. Yoongi put down his knife and moved to go, intercept them before they said something you didn’t want to hear, but you put a hand out to stop him. Your stomach was sick but you had to hear it. Whatever it might be.

“She’s jus-”

And they rounded the corner into the kitchen, stopped in their tracks when they saw you.

“Hey!” Namjoon was the first to recover. “We didn’t know you guys had arrived already! Where have you parked?”

“’Round the back,” Yoongi answered.

He was looking at Suri and you were looking anywhere but. Face burning with shame—that this was your idea, that it was all your fault, that you should’ve made you presence known earlier, that no one except you wanted to do this—you swallowed and smiled as brightly as you could.

“You made it!”

Your cheer sounded forced to you; maybe Namjoon and Suri wouldn’t hear it. Maybe they would believe you.

“Public transport is a fucking nightmare,” Suri said with feeling.

“I told you we could’ve rented a car,” Namjoon replied as if they had had this argument already.

“I’m not driving in these hills! You should do it. Right?”

You flinched when she turned to you and realised you had to answer.

“Uh-”

“Yoongi drove, right? Literally what are men good for if not chauffeuring you around?”

It was a lifeline for her, really, but you took it readily, gladly, anything to drive over the awkwardness and shame you were feeling.

“She has a point, Joon,” you said, grinning at him. “You could at least get a licence.”

Namjoon rolled his eyes indulgently, let you and Suri rib him a little more, smoothing things over at his own expense. You were deeply grateful.

“Come and help us do dinner,” you said, ferreting out more chopping boards from the cupboard, handing over knives and ingredients.

It would be fine, you told yourself as you diligently and with great focus, chopped an onion. It would be fine. It would not be weird. It would be fine. It would be fine.

It was fine. Dinner was cooked and eaten and cleaned up after. Drinks were taken on to the back porch, overlooking the lake, the heat lingering long into the darkness. It was not dissimilar to the other dinners you had had as a foursome. As long as you could forget what Suri might have been about to say, you were sure you could have a good time.

You woke the next morning, sun streaming sharply through a gap in the curtains. You rolled over, tucked yourself into Yoongi’s side even though you were already hot and sticky. You were willing yourself to fall back to sleep, even if just for a few minutes, and then you were sitting, eyes wide, ears trained.

There was no mistaking the sound of other people having sex. You grimaced, settled back down in bed and pulled the covers over your head.

“What?” Yoongi mumbled, not so much a word as a sound.

“Can’t you hear them?” you asked in a stage whisper.

Another grunt from Yoongi. Then you felt his body tense, followed by a sigh and a sleepy chuckle.

“You’re the one who wanted to come on holiday with another couple.”

You whined, prodded him sharply in the chest.

“Not because I was anticipating this! Do they have to be so loud?”

“This place is not exactly well sound-proofed.”

“I so don’t want to hear this.”

“Go back to sleep,” Yoongi said and he sounded like he was already halfway there himself.

“I don’t know how you can sleep now that you can hear that.”

Merely a hum in response.

You lay for a few minutes, desperately trying not to hear the only noise in the house, and then you gave up. Threw back the covers and went into the bathroom to shower. The rush of the shower might not exactly cover it but it would give you something to do.

“Hey,” Yoongi greeted the other couple when they came out to join the two of you on the back porch, where you were sitting with coffee and fruit. “Just a quick request: could you please have louder sex? I’ve been getting a little too much sleep recently.”

You and Suri both froze and you saw the blood swarm in her cheeks, red and hot. Namjoon just laughed.

“I’ll see what we can do.”

Suri swatted him harshly on the arm and he barely noticed, slung said arm around her shoulders and pulled her close, kissed her on the top of her head. If he felt embarrassed or awkward about it, it wasn’t showing. What was it like to be so self-assured, confident, relaxed about everything? Even with Suri’s face still pink, her mouth pulled into a scowl, furiously glowering at her boyfriend, he looked easy, his smile gentle and eyes bright. You envied him. You still felt silly and embarrassed about the previous evening, and embarrassed about hearing them have sex; he didn’t seem embarrassed at all to be heard.

Yoongi had insisted on washing up after breakfast. Didn’t let anyone else so much as carry a bowl back to the kitchen. He was taking his time on it, deliberately, carefully, putting off what he knew could not be avoided.

He was rarely unaware of his own body. Vigilant at all times about its exposure. He had suffered years of summers under long sleeves and trousers, would suffer higher temperatures, more humidity if he had to. He regretted everything he had done to himself, but not in a way that prevented him doing it again. No amount of shame or embarrassment would stop him, it seemed. Not that it happened much these days, but the possibility was always there.

Even when he was with you, he couldn’t let go. Even though you were sweet and kind and loving. Even though he knew there was a part of you that understood. Even though he could kiss your thighs where you had cut them and love you so much that it hurt, love your skin, love your scars (hate that you had them). Even though you kissed him, all over, generous and unsparing, even though you said you loved him, all the parts, every bit of him. He knew what he was and he found that breaking the habit of hiding himself was harder than the hiding had been in the first place.

With his task finished, and all the others he had made up for himself (cleaning counters, fluffing cushions, clearing the dryer of lint even though they hadn’t used it), he had come to the point he could no longer avoid. He moved slowly up the stairs, towards the bedroom you and he were sharing; he stopped halfway up. He could see you through the door, left ajar.

Your bikini was floral, cutesy, every bit you. The smile formed on his mouth before he had registered the sight. Then it was wiped away because he saw your face: your worried eyebrows, lip caught between your teeth. Your fingers ran over the scars on your thighs; your face turned towards the window, from which point Yoongi knew you could see Namjoon and Suri, already out, lounging. He could see cogs turning in your head, first this way then that.

And then it wasn’t just the scars. You fussed with the top, fussed with the bottom, turned in the mirror to check yourself from the side, twisted your head around to catch yourself from the back. You ran a hand over your face. You picked up a slip of fabric—some kind of cover-up, a dress?—and held it up against yourself.

He knew he shouldn’t be spying like this. He wanted to leap the remaining stairs and take you into bed where he would show you exactly what he thought of your body: your perfect, desirable, soft, body that he loved and loved to love. He wanted, briefly, to throw Suri in the lake and hope there were eels because he knew you were still thinking about it: last night.

He knew that it didn’t matter much what he did because it wasn’t that easy. It wasn’t as easy as being told you were fine. He knew because you told him all the time but he still felt like there was something wrong with him.

He carried on up the stairs and knocked on the door as he entered. Your face was immediately bright, free from clouds, as clear as the sky outside.

“Coming outside?” you asked as he moved in closer, couldn’t stop himself kissing you just once, putting all his love into it, however brief, however small.

“Yeah, just coming. You go ahead.”

You nodded and skipped out and there was a deep tug in his chest. There was a pit of snakes in his stomach but, fuck it, he’d been bitten before. Everyone out there beside the lake knew him, knew what he was if not in full, lurid detail. He took a deep breath and fished around in the bottom of his bag for the pair of swimming shorts he had bought in a moment of madness and packed because he wanted to make the effort for you. He hadn’t expected to wear them—they were still fully tagged and pristine, ready for refunding—but here he was.

He hadn’t anticipated the difficulty. He sat for ten minutes at the dining table in the kitchen, willing himself to get up and go outside. His legs weren’t all that bad, not the lower half. No one would care. You’d seen them before anyway. It wasn’t a big deal. He was telling himself all the right things but he couldn’t make himself move because he was thinking about all the people who’d seen him in his grossest state. Thought of the things some of them had said. Thought about their reactions. Thought about yours. Tried to focus on that. Reminded himself that it was you out there and his best friend. Suri was still a question mark but he also thought that she could go fuck herself if she had a problem with it because he was still prepared to fight her for potentially upsetting you.

“I don’t know. I’ll go and see where he is.”

Your voice floated over to him and that was it, the alarm call, the deadline reached. He stood from the chair and made himself move with he didn’t know what power.

“Hey!” you cried, arms outstretched to welcome him as he approached the group. “I was just coming to look for you—thought you might have got lost.”

He smiled, let you kiss him on the cheek, direct him into a sun lounger, sit down with him on it, not quite in his lap but almost.

Suri raised a hand in way of a greeting; she was flat on her back, sunglasses on, straps of her bikini tucked away, her tiny body sizzling in the sun. Namjoon sat next to her, under the shade of a parasol, dug out of the cabin’s garage, book in hand. He nodded at Yoongi and kept reading.

“I’m going to go in the lake,” you said, one hand resting on his calf. “Do you want to come?”

He was putting all his energy into not looking where you were touching him, not noticing, pretending that this wasn’t the first time for he couldn’t remember how many years that he’d not been fully covered in front of people. He wasn’t sure what his face said, if his mouth said anything at all, but you were standing and holding out your hands for him so he must have said yes, let you lead him to the edge of the water and then jump in.

The water was colder than he’d expected. He gasped and swallowed a lungful, came up spluttering. He wiped the water from his face and pushed his hair back. He blinked the water from his eyes and each frame brought you closer, until your arms were around his neck and your lips on his.

“I love you, you know that?”

He nodded.

“I love you, too.”

“I know.”

Did you? Did you really know the full depth and breadth of it? The way he loved you was desperate and whole. He had loved desperately before, loved anxiously, a long time ago when he still thought it was possible he could be loved. There were times when it terrified him. You terrified him because you loved him and it was impossible. Panic seized him and he wanted to run, run anywhere, get as far away as possible until you and your enormous heart were nowhere to be seen. Then you would call him or you would touch him and the panic disappeared, a low-grade anxiety in its place.

He hadn’t realised he had given up on it. Before you let him kiss you, before you kissed him back and said things he never believed he would hear, he had retired the idea of being loved. It wasn’t for everyone and it wasn’t for him. He took what he could get and accepted that his lot in life was nothing more. But he met you and it hit him square in the face: that he’d stopped expecting joy. That he was fine because he never expected what he deeply and desperately wanted: to be loved.

And that’s why you were terrifying. Because he was getting used to you. Getting used to being wanted. Getting used to the idea that he could be wanted. Sometimes he thought he was expecting it. Expecting you to let him in your arms, in your life. He had to remind himself that he wasn’t owed anything, didn’t deserve anything. It was the other way around: he was in debt for everything he had been given by you, for being given you at all.

They say if you can’t beat them, join them. It was an expression Yoongi was apparently taking very seriously, as he slid his tongue down your torso, fingers already slipping through your lips, sinking deep into your soft, wet hole.

You were less keen to join Namjoon and Suri in being overheard so you pressed a pillow to your face and moaned into it, still louder than you’d wanted to be. You bit down hard on your lip as your back arched from the bed. Every time, it was an aria performed like a concerto, Yoongi doing the work of a full orchestra suite at once. It was lethal and moving the ease with which he played you and it was somehow never the same twice. Never had anyone spent as much time with his face between your legs and it showed: he had learnt, with apparent ease, seemingly everything about what got you off: had learnt how to do it in a rush, how to take his time, how to make you squirt (a surprise more to you than him), how to edge you until you wanted to die, how to make you come and somehow keep coming. He had, on one unfortunately memorable occasion, given you a charley horse and a third orgasm simultaneously.

You were approaching your second now, with sweat seeping into the bedsheets, and Yoongi’s tongue laving at your clit, his fingers rocking inside you. It was suffocating with the pillow smothering you, your hot breath making it damp, your breathing thick and swampy so it made you light-headed. You couldn’t have kept any quieter even if you’d be able to try; all your attention and energy fell on the mouth at the apex of your legs and the fingers inside you. An experience so in-body, it almost pushed you all the way out again, like your consciousness was hovering outside your skin, alert and alive, an electrical wire in a puddle of water.

You came hard and gasped for breath when you pulled the pillow from your face. Yoongi kissed his way back up to you, sticky marks all over your sweat-wet skin. He was damp, too, tiny curls of hair stuck to his forehead, the T-shirt he slept in stuck to his back. You peeled it back, ran your hands over him, were reaching for the waistband of his boxers when he pulled away.

“I’ll wash up and then make breakfast, sound good?” he asked, climbing out of bed and reaching for trousers.

The words died in your mouth. You could see that he was hard, see the discomfort in the way he adjusted himself as he dressed; you wished you could see into his brain. It wasn’t the first time, not even the second or third and you didn’t want to have the same conversation again, with another couple in the house, with company. Knew it wouldn’t get you anywhere if you did. Knew he would not fuck you nor would he give you a real reason why not. You rolled onto your side, away from the door and pulled the covers around you, despite the heat, despite the sweat. You lay and you stewed and you wondered just what exactly you were doing wrong.

You tried to forget about it and it had been easy until you glanced over to see Namjoon swat Suri’s backside with his book, saw her retaliate by squirting water on him from her bottle, saw him pull her down in a tumble that was entirely playful until she kissed him. You turned away because you’d already heard enough, you didn’t need to see their foreplay.

“Did you guys buy ice-cream?” Suri asked later that evening.

“No,” you answered. “Do you want some?”

Suri nodded.

“Yeah, there’s a shop down the road; I’ll go and get some. Anyone else want any?”

“I’ll come, too!”

Suri looked surprised, her mouth open (to put you off), then she shut it and shrugged.

“Ok.”

It was quiet, initially, just the soft rush of wind in the tops of the trees and the slight crunch of the gravel track under your feet.

“Can I ask you something?”

The rhythm of Suri’s feet faltered and then started smoothly again. Her answer was slow to arrive.

“Yeah, I guess.”

Embarrassment was worming through you, on its way to stifle you, to choke you so the words wouldn’t come out.

“You and Namjoon have good sex, right?”

Suri didn’t just falter but stopped completely. She looked at you guardedly, suspicious. You could feel her attempting to put distance between you, even as her feet kept still.

“Is that... ar-, we’re trying to be quiet,” she answered eventually.

You laughed not because it was funny but because you were nervous.

“No, it’s not about that. It's... I mean, you do, right?”

“Yes.”

You were stuttering over your next question, not having planned this conversation, not really knowing what you wanted out of it.

“Don’t you and Yoongi?” Suri asked, beating you to it.

“We do. Kind of. Yes, but also...”

Your face was flaming, hot pricks of sweat beading in your scalp at the embarrassment of this, at having to ask someone about your sex life—someone that wasn’t Taehyung anyway—someone who definitely did not want to be having this conversation either.

“The thing is,” you persevered, “he goes down on me, like a lot. Or not a lot but sometimes, well, often, he...”

Your fists clenched and unclenched at your sides.

“He goes down on me and then we don’t have sex and I don’t know what I’m doing wrong or why he doesn’t want to fuck me.”

You let it out in a rush, looking somewhere over Suri’s left shoulder because you couldn’t bear to look at her directly, to see her face reacting. She was quiet for a moment or two and you stewed, boiling in your self-consciousness, steaming with shame.

“Have you asked him?”

“Yes, of course! He just says he doesn’t want to or ‘it’s ok’ or that I don’t have to reciprocate or that he’s fine. But I'm not fine! I’m clearly shit at sex! And blowjobs because he doesn’t want those either!”

And it was the embarrassment, mostly, but you felt tears burn in your eyes, felt your bottom lip wobble and as much as you did not want to have this conversation, you certainly didn’t want to cry during it.

“Does Namjoon ever...” and you couldn’t finish the question because you knew the answer and didn’t want to hear it.

“Nah, if he’s even the slightest bit turned on, he’s doing something about it. Well, I'm doing something about it, you know what I mean.”

You cursed softly, tried to kick at the gravel in your flipflops.

“I just wish he would tell me what I’m doing wrong so I can fix it.”

Your embarrassment, bright enough to have burnt away now, had left you sad, miserable in fact, that you couldn’t please your boyfriend and he was being too nice to tell you so. Sad because you couldn’t give him what you wanted to, what he gave you. Miserable that you were failing where you wanted to succeed.

“Do you ask him directly at the time?”

“Huh?”

“I mean, look, I’m the last person who should be giving anyone relationship advice of any kind, ok? I really don’t know how to do anything but are you asking him why he doesn’t want to have sex right now, or have you talked about it at a completely unsexy time? Because Namjoon is barely sapient when his dick is hard; his brain is entirely in his crotch.

“Literally the only thing I have learnt over the last year is that, as horrible as it is, you have to talk about stuff, especially when you don’t want to talk about it. So maybe just talk to him again but- oh, I don’t know! I’m not good at this. But if he’s not given you a proper answer, make him give you one. You should at least know what the problem is, if there even is one, right?”

You thought about it. Thought about how quickly you let the subject drop, let Yoongi brush you off because you didn’t really want to have the conversation at all, didn’t want to know the answer—or rather you didn’t want to hear Yoongi say it.

You nodded, thanked her quietly for her help and you walked the rest of the way to the shop in silence. You picked an ice-cream at random and a random one for Yoongi, too, then you walked back. Suri tried to make conversation with you and you were grateful for it, for her. You didn’t know if she liked you, found her impossible to read, and often got the impression that she’d rather be anywhere else, but she was making an effort and it meant something to you.

“Can I ask you something?” you started timidly as you settled in bed that night.

“Yeah.”

You were quiet for a moment and Yoongi frowned, trying to work out what had upset you. You had been quieter than usual all evening and he wondered if Suri had said something to you; you had come back from the shop with two melona ice-creams, which you hated.

“Am I bad in bed?”

He blanched. Didn’t really understand the question because you weren't. Not in the slightest. The sex he had with you was as close to perfect as sex could be. He sometimes felt deranged in how much he wanted you, felt dirty for it even, like it somehow besmirched your honour for him to think about you when he touched himself. Like he would contaminate you with his need to have you. It often took all he had in him not to fuck you.

“What do you mean?”

Your mouth was pouty and your eyebrows drawn close. You didn’t look angry for which he was grateful, but you were sad and frustrated for which he was not.

“You go down on me all the time and then we don’t have sex after! You don’t let me reciprocate! I can’t do it better if you don’t tell me what I’m doing wrong in the first place!”

It was like static was fuzzing up his brain. He knew the words but couldn’t understand them coming out of your mouth. He had thought he was doing the right thing. Giving not taking. Or taking only sometimes, but keeping the balance firmly tipped towards you. You always offered because of course you did: you were wonderful and kind and, for reasons he could rarely fathom, you cared about him.

“Yoongi!”

In a tone he almost never heard, genuinely annoyed, if also pleading and anxious.

He blinked, tried to find an answer.

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“Of course you do! It happened this morning! It happens at least half the time! I don’t understand why you don’t want it.”

And his heart was suddenly hammering because he could see that he had got it wrong but he wasn’t quite sure how. Colour drained from his face because you were upset, really, genuinely upset and it was his fault and if he could have squashed himself like a bug under his own shoe, he would have.

He tried to see what he had not seen, what he had missed, what maybe he had ignored. Could only see instead the times before, with other partners, when he’d try to initiate and be rebuffed, when he never asked for anything because he knew he wouldn’t get it anyway and, besides, it was ugly to ask, to want, to demand for something someone else didn’t want to give. He had spent so much time and effort learning his partners’ bodies, trying to make up for everything he lacked. He knew he was good at it. Knew it, was sure of it. Wasn’t he? Was it not enough? Was he still missing something?

“I do,” he said, voice hushed as though it hurt to say. “I do want it.”

“Then why do you always brush me off?”

He felt stripped like old paint. Had to look at you, though the embarrassment was excruciating.

“I didn’t think you really wanted it.”

And it sounded stupid when he said it out loud, really stupid, but it was the truth.

“What?!”

You really needed to hear him say it again. That he didn’t think you wanted it, even though you had explicitly asked. Even though you had sometimes tried, feebly, to insist.

“I...”

But he didn’t say it again, looked as though he couldn’t. Looked as desperate as you felt.

“Why do you think I would ask, I would offer, if I didn’t want to actually do it?”

“Because you give. You’re... You’re nice to me.”

“Oh, fuck.”

And you took a deep breath, tried to blink away the tears, sent them rolling down your cheeks instead.

“Yoongi, what the fuck?”

You saw him move, inch away just slightly, and you remembered who you were dealing with. Because he was Yoongi, your Yoongi, and he was warm and soft and sweet and funny and smart and you loved him so much that you forgot sometimes he still hated himself. Saw his denial now not of you but of his own desires. Remembered how long he had spent silently loving you without asking you to so much as hear a confession. Remembered how close you had both come to absolutely nothing at all, his disbelief overpowering his belief and his heart and his hope.

You could see it from his side. See what he was trying to do, even if it was madness. Even if it was wrong. You could feel him retreat even now, tucking himself back inside his tortoise shell.

“I’m so-”

You didn’t let him finish, would not let him apologise. You kissed him, tasted the salt of your own tears between you, leant into him, let your arms wrap around him and pressed your lips to his, to his cheek, to his hairline, to his jaw.

“Yoongi, I love you.”

“I know,” he replied, but you weren’t sure if he really did.

“I’m glad you think I'm such a nice person and everything, but I promise, I’m not offering out of the goodness of my heart. I’m asking because I actually want to. Like, really want to. Like, really enjoy myself and want you to enjoy yourself and want us to both enjoy ourselves together, y’know?”

He nodded, couldn’t quite hold your gaze.

“I’m serious. You need to know that I want to fuck you, ok?”

And you laughed, though you were trying not to, even if it did feel a little ridiculous, having to convince your boyfriend that you wanted to have sex.

He nodded again.

“You promise I’m not a bad lay?”

And you watched his face flick through shock and outrage and a kind of disbelief that become laughter.

“You are not a bad lay, I promise.”

“And what about blowjobs?”

“Also good.”

“You promise?”

And you sat yourself in his lap, legs straddling his hips, sinking yourself low, pressing against him.

“I promise.”

“What if I say you have to prove it?”

His head cocked to the side, playful, squinting at you, and you didn’t think that it was over, that he was suddenly convinced now, but with the burden of Being Terrible at Sex lifted off you, you felt not only lighter, but the deep, heavy, familiar drag of desire raise its head.

“Prove it?”

You shifted your hips again, deniably but definitely, and put your lips to his ear.

“Prove that you like it when I suck your cock.”

His hands gripped you tightly; you felt the bob in his throat when he swallowed as you pressed kisses down his neck and a stirring in his boxers that you sank even lower to press yourself against.

“I’ll prove it if you prove that you like it when I fuck you.”

“Deal.”

You were late up that next morning and Namjoon greeted you both from the back porch.

“Hey, a little request: could you maybe be louder when you fuck? Suri and I are actually sleeping a little too well.”

#yoongi fanfic #yoongi x reader #bts x reader #suga x reader #suga fanfic #bts fanfic #yoongi smut #bts smut #suga smut #bts fanfiction #kintsugi fic

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pix-writes · 28 days ago

Note

outside sex w/ Ford 🫣

Ford & outside sex, tried to make it as gender neutral as possible for this one, hope you enjoy!

(18+ MDNI under cut!) NSFW with lots of fluff on the side 😉

I feel like Ford would actually be really into having sex outside, though I don't think he's the kind of person into voyeurism at all! He wouldn't like to have anyone else looking at you in that way and he certainly wouldn't want to be at high risk of getting caught - it's a turn off!

But he does love nature, he loves being in the woods around the falls and knows lots of beautiful and quiet, largely secluded spots as well as all the magical and dangerous sections of the area to avoid. He would like to take you to such pretty locations as a date activity. He's a romantic deep down 🥰 having a picnic by a smaller lake that was formed off of the bigger lake within gravity falls, not a well known spot, watching as the day grows towards sunset? Hearing people far off on the main lake packing up after a full day of activities, tourism and fishing? Sharing some wine and dessert together should you be so inclined? Wonderful! The perfect place to have both a view and not be interrupted.

It starts off as just cuddling and making out on the grass, as the date progresses, but the intimacy builds to more than that, getting a little heated. Something about it sparks something in Ford, he imagines taking you out to more private places, just you and him alone in tranquil nature, where you won't be seen or have to worry about volume (at least maybe, not as much as when you're in the shack). Maybe you could even go camping.

Ford takes you hiking over the falls and ends up getting himself hot and bothered by the vision of you in front of him 😅 when you're walking in front of him, he gets the best view of your ass 😉

And when you need to break for a few minutes, dewy with sweat and out of breath from exertion, his mind is going to other activities in which he's seen you like that.

When the path becomes steep and treacherous he feels a certain sense of fulfilment/pride (?) that you need his help to traverse it, giving you a hand to pull you up or catch you, that you put your trust in him and his reassurances that you'll be fine and you can cross without falling, is something that helps him to feel useful and more secure. I guess it also feeds a certain masculine role (trope?) in him too (mostly in a pure way rather than a negative/toxic way), in being useful and capable to you in such a physical way. In fact he might even be a bit handsy when he helps you, if he's feeling playful enough or if the trip is tiring you out to try and lift your spirits:

Ford places a hand over your ass as you stumble when he helps you up a high step, drawing you into pressing up against him. "Careful, my dear." 😏

"Stanford Pines, you are a tease!" 😑

"I don't know what you're talking about." 🫠

There's a limit to Ford's patience and you can figure it out, most likely, in this scenario! If he can get you somewhere he considers safe and far away enough from any others who could possibly stumble across you, he'll take you as soon as possible.

Or, I kind of imagine a scenario where you're in the woods adventuring, helping Ford with his research of the anomalies, when things inevitably go wrong and you end up in some moderate dangers in fighting and escaping the latest monster of the week, when you end up coming to a stop to catch your breath, the danger now behind you - the tension is palpable!

Both of your heightened states of emotion mean that one of you runs hands over the other looking to see if they're hurt, almost getting into an argument over the details of how things went wrong or how you managed to come so close to getting hurt, maybe Ford ends up frustrated at you not listening to his instruction and taking a risk, either way that underlying tension snaps. There's tears in his eyes -

"You're so stubborn! How could you put yourself in that position?!"

"I saved you from being hurt! I thought I could've lost you back there!"

You end up being pressed up against a tree as Ford roughly kisses you, feeling under your clothes, squeezing and pinching at your sensitive areas as you moan into his mouth. You know what both of your actions are saying; you care about each other, you felt like you might not have gotten out of this alive, but here you both are.

You don't mind being rough in fact, you want it, you want to feel each other, you want to feel alive. You don't care if you get scratched up by the uncomfortable surfaces, and you are almost certainly going to be scratched up.

No matter who is the instigator here, Ford ends up the one to flip you around and push you up against the tree so he can take you from behind. Neither of you even bothered to undress, clothes pushed up or aside or pulled down just enough to access what you wanted.

And god forbid any forest gnome stumbles across you now, as Ford would probably turn them into ashes if they interrupted you! 🤭😳

Don't worry though, more TLC is applied after, once you manage to get back home, Ford being more gentle and tending to any cuts and bruises.

#stanford pines x reader #stanford pines x you #ford pines x you #ford pines x reader #gravity falls imagine #gravity falls x reader #ford pines smut #celebration request #pix replies

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octuscle · 3 months ago

Text

A unique holiday experience

Stephen was lying by the pool… The wind rustled through the oleander bushes. From the restaurant, he could hear muffled conversations. He took a sip of his vermouth tonic. The ice cubes clinked in the glass. It really was a perfect idyll. From the pool, you had a perfect view of the plains of Mallorca, looking out over the sea of houses of Palma and, in the distance, the glistening Mediterranean. Stephen was somewhat exhausted from a road bike tour through the Tramuntana Mountains. But after a few days of just relaxing by the pool, he really needed a bit of a change. The bike tour had been a good idea from the concierge… But now Stephen needed something else. He surfed the internet. The offers from getyourguide were quite nice, but he didn't need another visit to the cathedral of Palma, another visit to an olive oil factory, another hike on the dry stone wall trail. He knew all that well enough. But then he stumbled across an ad that sounded original: “Bored of the luxurious Mallorcan quality tourism? Fancy a break from the real world? Party and have fun with normal people? We offer you a vacation like you've probably never experienced before!” The logo showed two young guys who reminded Stephen unpleasantly of the booze tourists who had made him shudder more than once at Palma Airport.

Still, it sounded kind of funny… Stephen clicked on “Continue”… Then he took another sip from the beer can. The stuff got damn hot in the sun. Then he fell asleep.

“Mate, you fell asleep in the sun again. Drinking ain't good for you. Want another beer?” Stephen woke with a start. He had to belch in shock. The guy in front of him laughed and held out an ice-cold beer can. Where the hell was he? Stephen was lying in the blazing sun by a small, shabby-looking pool. The cheap plastic lounger groaned as he sat up. Shit, that hurt! He was bright red. “That looks nasty, mate! You gotta cool it down!” The boy in front of him shook the beer can and opened it. A beer fountain hit Stephen's burnt chest. And even though he was sure he wanted to say something else, he said, “You absolute arsehole. You can't be wasting beer like that. Or are you gonna lick it off my six-pack again, you dirty pig?” What the fuck was going on? The chav in front of him laughed and actually licked the beer foam off Stephen's body. Or what was probably Stephen's body. What Stephen could see was an athletic, fiery red body with a few cheap-looking tattoos. And what he could also see was the tent that he was building in his shorts. “Bloody hell, can't you wait till we're back in our room? The pricks will end up banning us if they catch us!” This was a nightmare? Stephen was stuck in a strange body and was like a remote-controlled robot. He had no control over his actions or his language. He was stuck in this body and watched everything like a movie. Except that the pain of the sunburn was just as real as the lust that was coursing through his body. “Bruv, let's get up to our room, innit? If they're changing the sheets tomorrow, we might as well have a proper go at it, yeah?” Stephen didn't need to be told twice. He didn't know the guy's name, he didn't understand why he was talking about their room, but he wanted to fuck the guy. Now! And hard! He opened the door with his door card. He threw the guy onto the bed. He pulled down the guy's Adidas shorts. He pulled down his own shorts. He didn't give a shit about the stark contrast between his red-burned and chalk-white skin. His boner jumped out of his pants like a jumping jack. The guy squealed with anticipation. And Stephen fucked him like only slightly drunk chavs can manage shortly after the end of puberty. And Callum (Stephen suddenly remembered the name) was right: tonight they would have to sleep in cum-encrusted sheets. But tomorrow there might be fresh ones. If the maid didn't refuse to clean the room again because it was too messy.

After the fuck, Stevo and Callum lay on the beach for a while. Stevo had organized a new round of beer and was checking with the other guys from her soccer club what was going on tonight. Dinner at their cheap all-inclusive hotel in Magaluf was set, but after that it was unclear whether they wanted to go to the sports bar for a few rounds of darts or go straight to the club to pick up chicks. Callum didn't participate. He was drunk again and sleeping off his drunk.

The four days of drinking and fucking in Magaluf were always the highlight of the year. The football club organized this trip every year and Stevo had been going since he was 16. Shit, it was a wild time, but what happened in Magaluf stayed in Magaluf. His girlfriend in Birmingham didn't believe a word of it anyway, no matter what he told her about the trip. Hehehe, he could only hope that she had no idea what had been going on between him and Callum. Hey, it had always been without eye contact, it wasn't homo.

His buddies and he had savored the last day at the pool as best they could. They'd had to vacate their rooms in the morning, but they'd been allowed to use the all-inclusive until the bus picked them up for the airport. And the bar had been serving alcohol for an hour. Callum had already pissed his pants again, Stevo had already been to the loo once to throw up, but had unfortunately just missed the toilet bowl. The bus wasn't due for another hour. He had bought himself another beer and fell asleep on the sun lounger.

The other guests always raised their eyebrows a little at the sight of Stephen. The young man may have been able to afford the expensive hotel in Bunyola, but with his tattoos he somehow didn't fit in here. And he drank a little too much beer. And the burping could also be more discreet. Stephen didn't care about any of that. Somehow he thought that beer and Mallorca formed a unit. And if that bothered you, just get in touch. So far, Stephen had shagged everyone who was bothered by something to their senses.

#male tf #muscle tf #reality change #inked man #ai image #chav tf

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deceptive-daydreams · 1 year ago

Text

Ch. 1 | Ch. 2 | Ch. 3 | Ch. 4 | Ch. 5 | Ch. 6 | Ch. 7 | Ch. 8 | Ch. 9 | Ch. 10 | Ch. 11 | Ch. 12 | Ch. 13 | Ch. 14 |

Smoke Signals

Chapter One - Damn Mailbox

W/C: 5K

Eddie x Fem reader - Grumpy!Bartender!Eddie x Shy!Reader

Relocating to the small town of Knife’s Edge in hopes of leaving your old life behind and starting brand new solves all of your problems, right? Wrong. It only creates more and one of them may live right next door. Side effects may include blaring music at 3AM, a scowling neighbor, and one too many shots of tequila on several occasions. (That The Bourbon will not be comping.)

A/N: I'm super excited to start this lil series, I've had this idea for a little while and I can never resist writing total opposites, it's just so fun to explore their dynamic when they want to reject each other so bad. Also a lot of this fic is inspired by Smoke Signals by Phoebe Bridgers (hence the name). As always I would love your feedback and any comments y’all have 🙂 OH and finally...the hugest largest biggest thank you to @uglypastels for beta reading and proof reading and all that good stuff, it was SO appreciated and really helped smooth things out ILY Z YOU'RE SO GOOD AT WHAT YOU DO 💜

Masterlist

Morning dew was like an old friend, someone you hadn’t paid attention to since childhood but felt so familiar with, so…safe. Maybe it was a little too ridiculous to find security in a few dew drops but arriving in a new town with a population of less than five hundred would have that effect. Twists and turns of windy roads unknown, trees larger than any house, and barely any infrastructure would all frazzle anyone not accustomed to its elements. Normally you wouldn’t get car sick but these roads were a beast you’d never encountered before in your life, stomach threatening to send back your lunch of tuna on white bread and a bag of Doritos. You refused to let bile even trace your tongue so with just enough self control, you swallowed any sickness down and pushed forward. Now you were hunched over in the driver’s seat, the door open as you sucked in the fresh mountain air, perfect lengthy blades of grass grazing the bottom of the door. Just before you, up the driveway made up of damp dirt, was home. A home you were a stranger to at the moment but hoped to at least become acquaintances with. Lower expectations created less disappointment. If you dive in head first, you can only guarantee yourself vulnerability and pain, slow and steady was the only pace.

It’s not permanent; you are just figuring things out.

It’s what you kept preaching to yourself during the altitude change, where flatter land transformed into large mountains, the tallest peaks coated in white. Where your ears popped and your brain felt pressure. And then shortly after, you were submerged deep into the forests, far from home, where you knew there was no going back for quite some time. It was a trial run although it didn’t feel that way when the moving truck packed with your life pulled up just minutes after you, delivering every piece of your life to some cabin in a secluded town that was nearly invisible on any map. Temporary was starting to feel foreign when everything felt more set in stone.

You’d think a town called ‘Knife’s Edge’ would steer you away and maybe that was the intent when it was first named; to ward off newcomers who had no business being out in the woods. But it only intrigued you. From what you could find out in a few tourism magazines, Knife’s Edge was not somewhere you went for a getaway, not according to the locals who were a tight knit community where everyone knew everyone. The economy relied on the small businesses down in The Village, on Main Street which according to your calculations was about five miles down the road and around the lake then up. That was the extent of knowledge you’d had on your new home and yes, maybe you should have gathered more information before daring to even place a down payment on some random cabin in the woods but when a new start calls, you either answer the phone or stare at it until nothing happens. The cabin was either yours if you paid the down payment or it would’ve been torn down and sold to the neighbor for more land which would’ve sent you on your way again, on a wild goose chase for a new place that you could fit into. Not that you were too sure that you’d even fit in here. But it seemed too obvious that this was where you were meant to be when the realtor advised that it was yours at a low down payment, a steal. So you’d try to make it work.

The moving truck’s door startled you, slamming against the top as two men got to work, unloading all your belongings. You figured this was your cue to exit your beat-up sedan to unlock the front door–wide-paneled and made of a beautiful dark oak. The crunch of pebbles and dirt alerted the movers to your presence where you let them know you were going to open up so they could begin their tedious process, one of them grumbling something incoherent in response. As you approached even closer, there were knicks and dents decorating the surface of the door but it seemed to add to the essence. The wooden steps creaked underneath your weight and upon glancing around the porch, you found two well built rocking chairs that the previous owner must have left behind. Other than that, there were pine needles and other debris from the surrounding nature caked in the corners, some scattered along the rest of the floor that would need to be swept up but it wasn’t an urgent task in comparison to actually setting up your bed and other necessities.

The lock was stubborn as you twisted the key but with one more persistent shove and turn, it clicked and you were able to push your way in, the hinges painfully squeaking as you made a mental note to pick up some WD40. The air inside was stale, smelling of dust and maybe a half hearted spritz of air freshener. Or maybe it was drenched in air freshener but it did little to nothing to cover up the smell of an old abandoned cabin; you weren’t sure. It was a modest size, the kitchen off to the right, tucked into the corner with a small island in the center. The living room was the first room you walked into from the front, the floorplan more open than you’d expected. A little to the left was a narrow hallway with shutter doors lining both sides, you assumed one side had to be the laundry. The door at the end had to be the bedroom and the door just before you embark into the hall had to be the bathroom but you had no time to explore right now.

Morning light trickled in through the kitchen window just above the stove, creating a beautiful hue against the wood paneling of the walls which you only noticed as you came back in, setting a box that was labeled ‘kitchen’ on the counter before rushing back out to retrieve more of your belongings. It was too early to be doing such strenuous work but that's what you get for securing a slot with the moving company first thing in the morning. In hindsight, you didn’t realize you were signing yourself up to meet said moving truck at 6:00 AM but in your defense, you’d never done this before.

By 7:00 AM the truck was fully unloaded and on its way out and with it went the grumpy movers, more than likely unsatisfied with the fact that they’d have to trek back down the mountain. You graciously offered them an extra twenty bucks which they gladly took but still appeared crabby nonetheless. Now for the part you had been dreading the most: unpacking each box and putting everything in its respective place. But first, you wanted to take it all in. You were right; the laundry was on the left side of the hall behind the shutter door and on the other side was a closet. The bedroom was settled right where you had guessed, at the end of the hall and rather than being empty, it now held your bed and mattress, sheets still yet to be found among the boxes labeled ‘bedroom’ in thick sharpie. The wallpaper was something you could do without but maybe you’d find time to peel it off later and replace it with something more to your taste. Currently the bedroom walls were lined with floral designs and pale blue stripes and if you could be honest, the design was a bit too busy for your liking. But it was a roof over your head for a good price so complaining was out of the equation.

At the opposite end of the hall, just off the living room was the bathroom, sporting a less off putting wallpaper of faded yellow and white vertical stripes. You first ensured your hygiene essentials were in place, toothbrush and toothpaste in a glass on the sink, towels on the rack, and soaps set up in the shower including shampoo, conditioner, and bar of Dove. Having these accessible was a priority, cleanliness being one of the most important factors of your daily routine.

Clothes were next and you’d forgotten a box in your trunk of your most worn items of clothing that you could pick through until you were fully settled. Lazily carrying yourself back to the driveway where your maroon sedan sat on top of the copper-toned dirt, you do a double take when you realize your mailbox was taken out, wood splintering out of the ground as the poor box lays among the grass at the edge of the street. From what you could remember, it was fully intact when you first drove up so you’re forced to conclude that the movers you’d tipped generously must have run it over and not given it a second thought.

The half of the mailbox that rested on the ground was a lot heavier than it looked and you would’ve thought it was made of cement just by the weight. You felt pathetic dragging it up the driveway, creating a prominent line in the dirt along the way. A brief break in getting the damn thing up to your porch has you about half way up the driveway, glancing around at your surroundings, only to finally take into account that you had a neighbor relatively close by, a cabin similar to yours only a few hundred yards away except it was a darker wood and a red pickup sat idle in front of it.

You braced yourself, catching your breath to continue hauling the mailbox back until you can figure out how to repair it when your eyes catch on figure, a man making his way down the steps of the cabin you’d just been analyzing. And you’re quick to shy away until you realize he’d already been looking at you, a cocky grin on his face as he slowly, almost tauntingly stepped off his porch. The way he walked closer reminded you of a lion declaring its territory, especially with the mane of curls he had, shaggy and brunette. He wasn’t close enough to allow you to examine any further; however, you caught the click of his tongue before he spoke.

“Gonna get splinters draggin’ wood around like that.”

It’s all he says, a toothpick between his teeth before he turns on his heel, combat boot digging into the soil and it’s only then that you realize he wasn’t offering assistance, he was simply picking up the hose connected to his spigot to rinse off his windshield which now that he’d drawn attention to it, was filthy with mud and leaves. He wore a red and black flannel which reminded you of a lumberjack but this man just didn’t fit that description based on your short interaction with him. Or rather his interaction with you. Your first indication was that he had no facial hair; he was clean-shaven. And his tight jeans that had black rips at the knees didn’t seem very suitable for a job that required a larger range of motion.

Without any further acknowledgement of your existence, he hopped in his truck and sped off around the bend without a care in the world. He was a resident douchebag and you’d never even spoken a word to him. You quickly realized you were still stood in the middle of the driveway with half a mailbox, grunting in protest as you lugged it the rest of the way up to the porch, leaning it against the railing for future contemplation on how to repair it or if you’d have to fork up money for a brand new one. That was a problem for future you and though future you would be pissed at past you for putting the responsibility on her, you had other things to sort out such as unpacking the rest of the kitchen so you’d be able to actually use it to feed yourself. And then of course you’d have to make your way into town a ways down the road to actually get groceries because not a crumb of anything edible was packed. Aside from a bag of Chex Mix that sat in the passenger seat of your car that you’d picked up at a gas station.

–

Going overboard was an understatement when it came to how much you’d actually gotten done. By 12:00 PM you almost had each room unpacked and put away, moving boxes discarded next to the front door to be thrown out later. Your plan was to finish off the kitchen and then go into town. Instead you finished the kitchen and moved from room to room with more motivation than you’d ever experienced in your life. Maybe it was the adrenaline of living alone, no one else could tell you what to do or where to put things. It was all up to you and maybe you were a little drunk off that power. Regardless, you were now worn out and that energy didn’t last very long. At least you had a freshly made bed for when you came back, that’s what you would reward yourself with.

If you go grocery shopping then you can come back and nap.

There were still various projects to be done, items to be organized, and objects without a home but for the most part, you could sleep peacefully with the work you’d done today. The floors were yet to be cleaned and the fridge still needed a good scrub down but that could wait until tonight after you properly refueled.

Humming to some song you’d heard on the radio earlier, you make your way out the door, patting your pockets for your keys and wallet, both of which you had before locking up and heading for the car. You rolled your eyes passing the mutilated mailbox, settling into the driver’s seat with an ache in your back from the grueling labor in the early hours of the morning. Shifting into drive and then rapidly back to park, you remember that these roads are foreign to you and that you could easily get lost and possibly become a bear’s lunch with your luck. With a tug, the glove box opens and reveals the map you had set in it before embarking on our journey. The map that was mailed to you of the town didn’t seem very complicated. But if you happened to make a wrong turn it could land you amongst some rocky cliffs which you thought better to stay away from. So you carefully examined the route to town, what the people here seemed to call The Village Square. You took the liberty of drawing your house on the map, a cute little doodle in blue gel pen and then proceeding to draw the rest of the route in the same blue so you’d always have it.

This was it. A fresh start where no one knew your name. This would be good for you. At least that's what you kept trying to convince yourself.

Goodbye someone else’s daughter and hello new self-made woman.

–

You weren’t lost. You were just…exploring.

Okay, you were a little lost but the signs for The Village Square kept passing you by and yet you found yourself also passing the same exact pine trees–and you knew they were the same pine trees because every time you saw them you thought ‘hey that kinda looks like a dog’. At some point it started to feel as if you were spawning in and out of some dimension until you finally turned into a lot directly behind one of the signs, sick of this game of hide and seek. There were no signs for parking which is why you’d passed by so many times in the first place, and now it seemed like you were behind a restaurant of some kind. This couldn’t be where everyone parked, right? Anxiety was pooling in your stomach and before you could sike yourself out, you ultimately decided to park and walk from here. You would only be a few minutes and hopefully you’d be able to muster up the courage to ask someone where to park from now on, even if it did make you seem like an idiot.

Leaves crunched under your sneakers, an obvious indication of the Fall season trickling one leaf at a time. As if you were a wary animal, you cautiously walked around the building, finding that it was someplace called The Bourbon; the letters written out in neon red lights that weren’t yet illuminated, the open sign in the window dull signifying they were closed. You let your eyes roam up and down the street, small businesses lined up all the way through and a few patrons, clearly with an agenda making their way along the sidewalks. It was a cute place, nestled in a little valley. Instead of plain old cement the sidewalks were cobblestone and overall it seemed to be a pedestrian oriented community with several cross walks and barely any traffic.

From here you had no idea how to get to Marvin’s Grocery, which seemed to be one of the only produce stores around according to your map. The others were a little more out of the way, your house conveniently only around five miles away from The Village Square. The shops you passed as you attempted to gain a sense of direction were exquisite. Mom-and-pop shops that either smelled of delicious baked goods or hunger-inducing aromas that filled your nostrils with savory goodness. The smell would haunt you in the best way for days to come. A candle shop piqued your interest, as well as a flower shop that bloomed so beautifully among the muted tones of the brick buildings around it.

Everything was so unlike what you were used to, back home things were more commercialized, built for quantity not quality. Here it seemed to be the polar opposite which you could appreciate. Corporations were the root of all evil and you had yet to see one single corporation among the several businesses you passed so far. People seemed friendly but also confused by your presence, offering you a meaningful wave accompanied by a puzzled expression written on every face you encountered. You were a stranger and it was becoming more apparent the deeper you found yourself in the square. Some people whispered and you happened to snag onto a few words, mostly grasping ‘is she new?’. In return, you graced them with a polite smile. It wasn’t like you to initiate small talk or approach new friendships. If they happened, they happened per the other party’s account, not yours, never one to try and stand out in the crowd only making this infinitely more uncomfortable for you, which was no one’s fault other than your own insecurity.

Eventually you were able to come face to face with the giant ‘Marvin’s Grocery’ sign which looked to be handpainted in big white letters outlined in black with a few cartoony carrots, a tomato, and a head of lettuce. Wandering around for an extra ten minutes and refusing to ask for help certainly wasn’t ideal but it did familiarize you with the shops you would soon be buying from on the regular. And it did give you a soft introduction to the small population of Knife’s Edge which despite the name, the people seemed lovely enough.

The store wasn’t the slightest bit crowded and it wasn’t very large either. A mother and her two kids skimmed one of the aisles while an older man pondered over the produce, apples specifically. Grabbing a cart, you begin gathering the items you had sorted out on a list in your head. First bananas, grapes, and blueberries, you didn’t want to bother with too much produce as it went bad fast and you were only one person so those would do for now. Then you moved on to pantry essentials, canned goods that you could stock up on and always have on hand. Green beans, corn, peas, baked beans, even soups such as tomato, cream of mushroom, and the standard chicken noodle.

You’d built up a cart full in no time, and by then, no one else was around so you noted that this time would be perfect to get your shopping done in the future so as to avoid as many people as possible. The cashier was a woman, probably in her early sixties who seemed not all that intimidating which you were grateful for. She smiles warmly and you appreciate the sentiment, grinning back at her as you place each item at the register.

“You’re new. But I bet you’ve already had an earful of that, haven’t you?” She lightly teases.

You laugh softly, avoiding eye contact while still trying to remain well mannered, taking notice in small glances that the woman’s name tag reads Donnie in bold red letters as well as the ‘help wanted’ sign perched up against the window. She seems friendly, a little rough around the edges though in the sense that she had several tattoos that disappeared into the rolled up sleeve of her blue crewneck sweater as well as a fire in her icy blue eyes. You could already guess that she was quite the character.

“Don’t let them scare you off.” Donnie carefully bags the eggs with a few more light items, her confidence radiating, as if she doesn’t even need to try, as if it just comes to her so naturally. Something you could only wish for every once in a blue moon. “We don’t get many newbies. They’ll get it outta their system.” Her voice is a tad scratchy but smooth otherwise, bringing a strange sense of comfort.

“Thank you.” A mouse may as well have been louder than you but you tried and that’s what counts, right? New people were not your thing but they would have to become your thing, moving to a place where no one knew you existed and all. Or maybe you could fly under the radar? It couldn’t hurt to become the mysterious outsider that spoke to no one although it wasn’t a very realistic ambition.

This was fucked. You thought to yourself in the solitude of your brain. Of course the second thoughts were coming now and not before you bought the damn property that tied you to this place. Initially, the idea was a temporary situation far from home but the deeper you delved into this town, the more permanent it started to feel. Not just anyone up and moved here and that was clear by the reaction you pulled from several onlookers. And yet you moved here, bought that damn cabin with the money left to you from your father’s estate, and ultimately, left everything you knew in a manic state. A mid life crisis in your early twenties.

“Miss, your change.” The woman broke through your thoughts and you must have shifted into autopilot, not even remembering handing her any money in the first place.

“S-sorry.” You mutter, collecting the filthy coins in your palm, shoving them into the front pocket of your jeans which you knew would be a pain to dig out later but again, that was an issue for future you. She hated your guts.

“No prob–”

It was abrupt, your exit but despite your rude departure, she called out “I’m Donnie!” and you never felt like a shittier person. She was welcoming you to her home and you didn’t even have the decency to introduce yourself. That’s how it looked at least, on the inside you were panicking and needed to isolate yourself immediately.

You must have looked like a maniac carrying your groceries in a near sprint toward the direction of your car. Everyone else seemed to move at such a mellow pace, not a single vein close to popping out of stress whereas you looked like you’d crumble under the slightest inconvenience. Which you would if you didn’t get to the car fast enough. A small misstep causing you to trip? No chance, you wouldn’t show your face again for weeks. Your groceries spilling all over the pavement because of said possible misstep? You would consider moving all over again.

Thankfully the majority of the walk back to the little lot behind one of many businesses was blacked out, your heart practically pumping in your ear the whole time. What you couldn’t black out from was the man-the same man from this morning smoking a cigarette as he stared at your car. Fear drenched you; you couldn’t gauge his expression with his back to you but you could guess he wasn’t going to be smiling with the way he was lingering, shuffling his boots back and forth in contemplation.

Announcing yourself felt like the most daunting task in the world, humiliation melting into your skin like an uncomfortable burn. Maybe some higher power heard your pathetic struggle because the crunch of your sneaker on a perfectly placed leaf called his attention to you, his head snapping in your direction instantly.

The urge to just run was strong but you maintained whatever cool was left within you, fingers waving at him weakly.

His expression was blank, unreadable. He didn’t say a word as you slowly inched your way closer to the vehicle, only eyeing your every movement like a predator protecting his territory, much like he did that same morning. The closer view of his face showcased his stoic yet soft features, eyes almost puppy dog-like but something glazed over them, a facade of some kind. Something that overtook the puppy dog nature they were capable of and replaced them with a cruel glare. The shape of his nose was endearing at least, rounded at the tip and tinted pink from the cold.

“You just park anywhere you want where you’re from?” He asks, gesturing vaguely with a tip of his cigarette toward the car.

Your shaky breath has him furrowing his brows at you, seemingly offended. It’s not in your nature to offend people but you can’t seem to stop doing it, especially today whether you mean to or not. But you definitely don’t think you mean to.

“N-no, ‘m sorry.”

“Sorry?” He mocks, scoffing before inhaling a puff of smoke once more.

“I-I uh, I’m leaving. It won’t happen again.” You rush out, all the while forcing yourself not to cry. “I just–I couldn’t find parking–I was driving around and—there was no–I couldn’t–”

“Don’t let it happen again.” He warns, stern but easing up on his intense demeanor.

“Promise.” You whisper, a tear betraying you and rolling down your cheek to which you quickly gather your grocery bags in one hand to swat away at your cheek. It’s too late, he already saw.

No empathy is detected in his stare, not that you feel you deserve any. It was just an observation. “Now, get out of my lot.” It’s a demand, a non-negotiable demand that if you were brave enough to argue, would probably have him towing your shitty little sedan.

So you nod, blinking back the water works as best you could while tossing your groceries into the passenger seat, him watching the whole time. With your seatbelt suddenly feeling like the most complicated thing in the world, you expect to look up and meet pure rage but instead your ears perk up at a few knocks on the window. Rolling it down as fast as possible with the manual handle, the man stands towering over you, cigarette abandoned sometime in between you getting in the car and struggling to remember how a seatbelt works. Did he have more choice words for you for illegally parking on what he deemed ‘his lot’? You really didn’t want to stick around to find out but you had no choice.

“Left on Main. Then right on Cherry.” His dark eyes hinted at hues of warm honey but they were briskly dismissed by his cold attitude.

“What?”

“Next time. So you don’t turn into my damn lot again.”

You still didn’t know what he meant by ‘his lot’ and you didn’t have the backbone to ask. You did however fully get the message that you were to never park here again and were now aware of which streets to search for to avoid it at all costs. You’d memorize every detail of it if it meant you could steer clear of the apathetic man before you. With a nervous nod, you were off, not once looking back just as he did that morning except he had more grit in his actions, you just came off as a scared church mouse. You never even caught his name and you didn’t mind not knowing it at this rate seeing as he was all bite and bark for no good reason.

This place never felt so far from home. Nowhere was home. Your heart was in a sense homeless, lost and longing for the connections that these people had with each other that you couldn’t seem to tap into even if your life depended on it. In all fairness, it had only been a few hours and you couldn’t gauge your success based on that but it was tugging on your brain like a parasite, eating away at your final optimistic thoughts.

I don’t belong here.

I don’t fit in.

The drive ‘home’ was flooded with tears and muffled sobs into your now sticky sleeve, coated in snot and if anyone were to pass you along the way you would look psychotic with how your face scrunched up at every exhale, doing your best to keep yourself quiet despite being the only one in the car. You were always doing your best. Always to please others. And it never worked.

~end~

Masterlist

tags - @gravedigginbbydoll @ohauggieo @spicysix @lunatictardis @ali-r3n @batkin028 @mrsjellymunson @witchwolflea @emma77645

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson fic #eddie x reader #eddie munson smut #eddie munson x fem reader #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson angst #bartender!eddie #eddie munson au #bartender!eddie munson #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson x you #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fanfiction

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ryanclaremont · 2 months ago

Text

beyond the sea.

Ryan's been looking forward to this project for weeks now. She's planned out a few spots, called some of the local businesses and the people she spoke too seem to be welcoming and exciting she's coming to put their seaside town on the map, garnering maybe a few more tourists per year. The thing is, some people hate tourists but tourism bring in so much money to a city or a town, it helps where it can. And that's what Ryan wants to do, help people find a spot off the beaten path.

She's packed a small overnight bag, they're going to stay at a bed and breakfast right along the water which she is excited about. The pictures on the website looked so beautiful and serene. Plus they get a view of the so-called haunted lighthouse. Ryan meets August at the train station that morning, boarding and finding their seats. She sits across from him, sharing a small table.

A voice comes over the speakers informing that the train is leaving in ten minutes. They're only going about an hour away, but Ryan's thrilled for the trip. Ryan slips off her jacket, letting it rest long her back as she sips her coffee. "Did you look over the itinerary?" Ryan asks August. "It's flexible, leaving time open to walk around and see what else we can find."

She moves her hair over her shoulder, watching people come almost running for the train, "The main ones are the lighthouse, this pub in town, some walking trails, and the sea of course."

#rpara9: beyond the sea

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katyswrites · 2 years ago

Text

don't call me 'baby'

PART 7 | SERIES

Pairing: Steve Harrington/fem!reader

Warnings: Sugardaddy!Steve, SMUT (18+), angst, phone sex, daddy kink, ddlg dynamics, dom/sub dynamics, dirty talk, mutual masturbation, webcam sex, swearing, alcohol use, smoking, age gap, no use of y/n

Wordcount: 6.5k

A sugar daddy modern AU, a whirlwind summer romance in Italy, and two people from completely different walks of life, somehow finding each other in one of the most beautiful cities in the world. But, what will happen when summer ends?

PART 7 | is it cool that I said all that?

Soon enough, June gave way to July, the mid-summer heat setting in across the city like a fog. The city became busier, too, thanks to the peak tourism season and school being closed for the summer. For once, you barely noticed - you didn’t have to worry about the influx of customers, the more crowded buses and metro cars with packed, sweaty bodies that you had come to dread. Now, you were happy to shell out the money for a taxi, or to call Steve’s car service, even when he wasn’t with you. You had felt strange about it at first, but he insisted upon it. And, of course, you had started spending most nights with Steve - still getting picked up from your apartment, going out to fancy dinners and bars, and then going home with him. You had started spending the night more often, too.

On mornings that Steve had work, he’d leave quietly, rarely even causing you to stir. He’d usually send a text, or on occasion leaving a note; something along the lines of stay as long as you’d like, I’ll see you soon. On occasion, he’d stay at your place, too. You were embarrassed by your tiny, cluttered apartment, thinking of his pristine penthouse. But, he never said anything. Sometimes, you’d find yourself stumbling up the stairs and into your bed, challenging yourselves to be quiet with the knowledge of Robin asleep on the other side of the wall.

It was a nice routine - in the time you had been living in Rome, you had been spending most of your summers working as many hours as possible to save for the upcoming semester of university, spreading your money as thinly as possible during the school year when you had to inevitably cut back on hours. But now, it was different - you were letting yourself actually enjoy the city. You would take yourself out for breakfast, sipping coffee leisurely in a cafe while the city woke up. You would go for walks, stopping in shops along the way. Normally, you’d take one look at the prices of anything and walk out empty-handed. But now, you decided to treat yourself. If you saw something you liked - clothes, books, trinkets, jewelry, fresh food from the market - you let yourself buy it, not feeling guilt anymore when you brandished Steve’s credit card. Even in casual clothes, you found yourself dressing nicer in your daily life, the way you had always wanted, but just couldn’t afford to. You treated yourself to the hair salon, manicure appointments, and even splurged on the extra spa options every now and then. It was all new, still.

“You going somewhere?” Robin had asked one morning over her cereal, eyeing you as you were pouring yourself coffee, already fully dressed for the day.

“Just the market - do you need anything?”

“Uh, no. It’s just - you look nice. That’s all,” she remarked, smiling a bit.

“Oh - uh, thanks.”

You had started to notice it, too - your face had grown a little fuller, your skin brighter, the dark circles under your eyes a thing of the past. At one point, when you walked past a mirror, you stopped in your tracks - you were glowing. You never knew what people had meant when they said that, before - but now you understood.

Then, of course, there was Steve. You were seeing him even more frequently, five or six nights a week. Sometimes, he’d even meet you for lunch, on the rare occasion that he actually took his lunch break. It was over one of these lunch dates that he broke the news - you were sitting at a cafe close to the city center, only a few blocks from his office. You sipped your coffee, eyeing the menu as he cleared his throat.

“So, um - I have to go away this week. Business trip,” he said.

You looked up at him, a wave of disappointment washing over you. You tried to shake it - it was stupid, why did it matter? You just did your best to keep your face neutral.

“Oh, really?” you asked.

He nodded, sitting up a bit straighter in his chair.

“I only found out this morning - Barcelona, just for a bit. Five days, I think. Six, if you include travel, I guess.”

You nodded, pressing your lips together.

“Yeah, I mean - do what you’ve got to do. At least it’s not too far, right?”

“Not at all - five, six hour flight, I think.”

“Well - that should be fun. I went to Barcelona over winter break with some friends my second year - I mean, we stayed in a hostel and basically just fucked around in the city, but it was nice.”

Steve chuckled, picking up his coffee cup.

“Yeah, well, I’ll probably spend most of it holed up in a conference room or hotel. Besides, I don’t speak a lick of Spanish.”

You shrugged. “To be fair, you barely speak Italian and have been living here for, what, six months?”

“Yeah, okay, fair enough,” Steve said, holding his hands up in surrender as he rolled his eyes. “To be fair, a lot of people speak English. Still, pretty sad to live in Italy for the better part of the year and not know any of the language, right?”

He was smiling, shaking his head incredulously, but avoiding your gaze. It probably meant nothing, just him making a joke, but you couldn’t help but read a bit into it. There was something in his tone, something wistful, a bit self-deprecating.

“I could teach you,” you said softly.

“Yeah?” he asks, looking up at you.

“I mean, I don’t think you’d be fluent, I’m not a teacher or anything, but… some words, phrases, basics, things like that. If you want.”

He smiled, a bit more softly this time.

“Yeah - that’d be nice.”

You both just stared at each other, exchanging smiles, the moment lingering. It was interrupted when your waitress returned, asking for your order. You glanced over at Steve.

“Okay - I guess the lesson one will be ordering in a restaurant, yeah?”

******

You stayed over at Steve’s the night before he left. Despite doing his best to move quietly around the room, you found yourself waking up to the sound of him zipping his suitcase, his silhouette barely visible in the dim, early-morning light.

“Mm,” you groaned, rubbing your eyes.

He froze, turning to you.

“Hey,” he whispered, “Sorry, baby - go back to sleep.”

“Are y’leaving?” you asked groggily.

“Yeah,” he said softly. “I’m afraid I have to. But, I’ll be back on Saturday, yeah?”

“Hm, yeah,” you said, turning over under the sheets. You let your breathing slow, shutting your eyes as you heard Steve move about the room, grabbing some last-minute things. He whispered your name through the darkness, so softly that even awake, you barely heard it. But, sleep was pulling you back into its clutches, and you didn’t say anything, too disoriented to reply. In hindsight, he probably thought that you had fallen completely back to sleep. You heard him take a few steps until he was right next to you, crouching down to your level. He reached out slowly, placing his hand on the side of your head, gently rubbing his thumb along your temple.

“You know - I’m really gonna miss you,” he whispered. “I know I probably shouldn’t, but -”

He stopped, taking a deep breath. Then, you felt the warmth of his lips pressing to your temple, then he pulled away, footsteps carrying him towards the doorway.

“Did you say something?” you grumbled into the pillow.

His footsteps stopped. Then, from the doorway, you heard, “Oh, uh, no - just, go to sleep. You can let yourself out - I’ll see you Saturday.”

Then he was gone.

*****

You went almost 12 hours before you texted Steve. You weren’t entirely sure what the protocol with this was - should you reach out to him? Should you ask how his flight was, or how things were going? It felt strange, though, doing something a girlfriend would do. But, it felt just as strange to not talk to him.

You stared at your phone for a few moments, tapping your fingers nervously on the kitchen table. You stared at your text conversation, typing and erasing a few times. This was stupid - you should be able to just text him -

hey

It sent before you could think about it anymore. You groaned, letting your head fall forward on the table.

“What did you do now?” Robin’s voice asked from the kitchen doorway.

“Why do you assume I did something?”

“Well, did you?”

You rolled your head to the side to look up at her, sighing.

“I’m the lamest mistress in the world.”

Robin visibly gagged.

“Okay, first of all - never say ‘mistress’ again. Also, that’s not technically what you are -”

“Robs, I love you, but I don’t need -”

“What’s going on?” she asked, more sincere now. She slid into the chair across from you, the old rickety wood creaking under her.

You just flashed your phone at her, defeated. She studied it for a moment before leaning back in her chair, arms crossed.

“Yep. You’re lame.”

You groaned again, slamming your forehead on the table again.

“What do I do?”

“Well, why the fuck are you texting him, anyways?” she asked.

“What do you mean?”

“It’s just - isn’t he away? For like, a week?��

You straightened up, furrowing your brow.

“Well, yeah.”

“So - why are you texting him? Like, are you trying to sext him or something?”

“What? God, no -”

“Then - huh?”

The look on Robin’s face said it all - somehow, not sexting him was infinitely weirder. Before either of you could say anything, your phone sounds off with a ding.

Steve: Hi!

You stared down at it, realizing one thing - somehow, Steve was infinitely lamer than you’d ever be. As you continued to stare at his message, plotting how to even reply, you were pulled out by Robin saying your name. You glanced up at her - had she said something?

“Hm?”

“I asked why’re you smiling? Is it him?”

You hadn’t even realized you were smiling. Suddenly feeling like a silly schoolgirl, you shook your head.

“Uh, no -”

Robin rolled her eyes.

“Oh god.”

*******

For that entire first day, you found yourself constantly texting Steve. Before, it had just been making plans, occasionally saying goodnight, letting him know you got home safe. But this was… different.

how was your flight?

It was okay, no complaints. Just tired. Did you get home okay?

yep thanks for letting me stay over

Never a problem - sorry I woke you up this morning.

…

oh you didn’t

at least, i don’t remember that

A lie.

Oh, good.

It was easy, after that. He sent you pictures of the city as he drove through, as well as his hotel room.

ooooh, fancy

It should be, considering I’ll be spending most of my time here.

you’re not exploring the city at all? let yourself have some fun, old man

Ha. Wish I could - I’ll be at a conference or in meetings most of the week. Maybe we’ll go out for some corporate dinners, though.

sorry, i was falling asleep just reading about it 😴

Oh, shut up.

you gonna make me?

He didn’t reply for a few minutes. You saw him start to type a few times, stop, and start again. Finally:

You’re going to pay for that later, you know.

i’m counting on it 😉

You didn’t hear much from Steve after that - it was silly to think you should, considering he had work to do. You went about the rest of your day pushing him from your mind - heading down to the market, cooking dinner for yourself and Robin, ending the night watching a terrible horror movie that you laughed your way through. It was pretty late, after you had been lying in your bed scrolling on your phone mindlessly for a while, that you heard from Steve again. But, he didn’t text - he was calling you.

The moment his name popped up on the screen, you sat up a bit straighter, letting your finger hover over the accept button. You weren’t sure why it was such a big deal that he was calling you - but, when you pressed accept, you felt your stomach flip, your heart rate speeding up a bit as you pressed the phone to your ear.

After a deep breath, you managed, “Hello?”

“Hey there,” Steve’s voice replied. “I didn’t wake you up, did I?”

“Oh, no,” you assured him, shifting to fully sit up. “I was awake.”

“Okay, good - I wasn’t sure, I know it’s late.”

You pulled your phone away for a second to glance at the screen - 11:47pm.

“Yeah, I guess,” you said.

“What are you doing?” he asked, something rustling on the other end.

“Just - well, nothing, really. I was just in bed, scrolling on my phone, normal stuff.”

“Normal stuff?”

“Yeah - you know, the rest of us are on social media, letting our brains turn to mush. It’s fun, you should try it,” you said sarcastically.

That earned a chuckle from him on the other end.

“Sounds great, but I’ll probably pass.”

“What’s your phone for, then?”

“Work. And contacting people, like you. Well, not like you, but - you know what I mean. Maybe taking a picture every now and then. What else would I need it for?”

You rolled your eyes. “What are you, 80?”

“Honestly? Feels like it sometimes.”

You laughed, settling further into your pillows.

“So, how’s Barcelona?”

He sighed. “Fine. I mean, I landed, checked into my hotel, and went straight to the conference. It’s the same shit as always - presentations, schmoozing people from other companies, meeting with industry big-wigs. But, at least there was a cocktail hour at the end.”

“Wait, are you drunk-calling me?”

“What? No! I only had a couple. It’s not - it doesn’t matter.”

You rolled your eyes. You could picture him, flustered and slightly indignant at the mere accusation.

“So, where are you now?” you asked.

“Back at my hotel. I - I just wanted to talk to you. Is that okay?”

“Of course it’s okay - It’s nice, actually.”

A moment of silence hung between you, and you immediately kicked yourself for even saying it.

“I’m sorry, that was - I just meant that it’s - well, you’re -”

“What’re you wearing?” he asked, the words tumbling out. You paused, your ramblings dying on your tongue.

“Huh?”

“I - I asked, what are you wearing?”

You looked down, brow furrowed. “Uh, like, an old college t-shirt, some shorts, just what I usually - wait, oh my god… are you trying to, like, have phone sex right now?”

“Well - it’s not - yes. Yes, I am. That’s how it’s supposed to start, right?”

You giggled, falling back on your bed. You probably shouldn’t be laughing, but you couldn’t help it - somehow, Steve was both the most suave and awkward person you’ve ever met, often at the same time.

“What’s so funny?” he asked, voice tinged with worry.

“It’s just - you’ve never done this before?”

“Is it that obvious?” he asked sheepishly.

“Well, yeah, kinda. But, don’t worry about it, you’re doing great.”

“Do you want me to stop? We don’t have to, I just thought you wanted -”

“No! I mean, when you said you’re going to pay for that later, I thought you meant when you got home. But… if you’re offering -”

A pause. Then, “Yes,” he whispered. “I’m offering.”

You laid back a bit more, biting your lip.

“Well, let me get a bit more comfortable, Harrington.”

You reached down to the hem of your t-shirt, lifting it over your head with ease. Bare-chested, you hissed as the cool air hit your breasts, making yourself comfortable on your back again. Placing the phone on the pillow next to you, you put Steve on speaker.

“What did you just do?” Steve asked on the other end.

“Just took my shirt off, hope you don’t mind.”

You heard his breath hitch. “What kind of bra do you have on?” he asked quietly.

“Wasn’t wearing one,” you replied.

“Fuck.”

“Mm,” you said, taking one of your breasts in your hand. You began massaging it, rolling your nipple between your fingers until it hardened, before moving to the next one.

“They feel so nice in my hand,” you said breathily. “So soft, god, but not as nice as when you do it?”

“Yeah?” Steve asked, voice hoarse. “God, I miss your tits.”

“Mm,” you said, leaning into your own touch. “And they miss you. They miss your mouth on them, you know that? Now I’ve just got them all to myself -”

“Jesus Christ,” Steve murmured.

You let your hand snake down, toying with the hem of your shorts. Then, slowly, you slide them off, shimmying them down your legs and kicking them off.

“Sorry, my shorts were in the way - had to take them off,” you confessed.

“Yeah? You still got anything on, baby?”

“Just my panties - but, god, they’re soaked,” you said, fingers ghosting over the lacy fabric.

“Yeah, I bet,” Steve said, voice a bit rougher. “My voice gets you off that much, huh?”

“Mmm hm,” you said dreamily. “But, there’s a problem.”

“And what’s that?”

“If I had to guess… you’ve still got all your clothes on, don’t you?”

“Yeah,” he said.

“Well, I’m not touching myself until your cock is out.”

And with that, you heard rustling on the other end of the phone, and the distinct sound of a belt hitting the floor, followed by fabric. God, he wasn’t even dressed for bed, yet.

“There you go,” you whispered. “That’s more like it. Are you hard yet?”

“Yes, Jesus, I’ve been half-hard ever since you picked up the phone.”

“Good,” you said.

“But - I’m not doing another thing until you start touchin’ yourself,” he said firmly. “Can you do that for me?”

“Anything you want, daddy.”

You heard him groan, and you smirked to yourself. You let your hand wander over your clothed cunt, finally allowing your fingers to slip under the waistband. You ran your fingers up and down your slit, soaking them in the wetness there. When you finally came in contact with your clit, you gasped.

“What are you doing?” Steve asked, voice gruff.

“I’m so wet,” you breathed. “My fingers are coated - I - I’m rubbing my clit. Nice and slow.”

“Good girl,” Steve whispered. “Does it feel good?”

“So good,” you admitted.

“Does it feel as good as when I do it?”

“No,” you said. “But still - god, it feels so nice.”

“Do you touch yourself a lot?” he asked. “When I’m not around? Tell me the truth, baby.”

“Yes,” you breathed. “I do.”

“Do you think of me?”

“Mm hm, I think about you when I make myself cum, all alone.”

He sighed on the other end. “Yeah, I bet you do. Because you’re fuckin’ mine.”

“I’m yours,” you echoed, picking up speed on your clit. You gasped.

“Do you ever use toys to get yourself off?” he asked.

“I - ah! Fuck - yeah, I do. I have a - shit - a vibrator.”

A pause on the other end. Then, “Take it out, baby. I want you to use it.”

Even though you knew he couldn’t see you, you nodded, reaching towards your nightstand and shuffling through the drawer until you found it, a little purple thing that had been getting less use lately than usual.

“I have it,” you said, settling back down. “But… I’ll only start using it if you start touching yourself, now.”

He groaned. “Fine, I will.”

You heard him hiss, then his breathing start to quicken.

“I’m stroking my cock, baby - god, I’m so fuckin’ hard right now - just thinking about your pretty pussy, how good it feels around me.”

You sighed, turning on the vibrator in response. Upon hearing the sound, Steve groaned. You pressed it to your clit, crying out the moment it made contact. Your back arched, your hips bucking into it.

“Oh, god - this feels so good,” you said.

“Are you using it?”

“Yeah, right on my clit - it’s so good, it’s too much -”

“Yes, play with that pussy, baby,” he said, voice strained. “I want you to fuck yourself on your fingers, can you do that for me?”

“‘Course I can,” you whispered. “After your cock, I can fit anything inside me.”

He let out a guttural groan. In response, you took your free hand that had returned to massaging your breasts and brought it downwards, coating it in your slick before letting a finger slip inside you. After a few moments, you added a second finger, stretching and pumping as you circled your clit with the vibe.

“Mm, that feels good. I miss having you inside me, though,” you confessed.

“Fuck - yeah? You do?”

“Mm. Nothing makes me feel as good as your cock, sir.”

“Damn right,” he said. “I’m just picturin’ you, all spread out, touching yourself - are you close?”

“Yes,” you admitted, hips bucking to your own touch. You added a third finger, curling them inside of yourself, finding that one spot that made you see stars.

“Are you close?” you asked.

“Yeah, fuck, I am - you should see this, sitting here, cock in my hand - wishing it was your pussy, or you mouth. It’s like your pussy was made for me, I wish I was buried inside you right now -”

You felt your abdomen tighten, your heart rate quickening. You moaned, fucking yourself on your fingers faster.

“Shit, Steve, I - I’m close, I’m gonna cum -”

“Cum, baby, please,” he begged. “And say my name when you do it - I wanna hear you -”

“Yes, daddy,” you sighed, “I’ll cum for you, I’ll scream your name as loud as you want -”

“Good girl,” he grunted, his breathing labored.

You pictured it, Steve jerking himself off to the sound of your voice, the very thought of you getting him off. You gasped and moaned as you touched yourself, your walls starting to clench around your fingers. You thought of Steve - his hands on you, his voice in your ears, his cock inside you, filling you to the brim. You could feel it, your soft walls wrapped around him, him pounding into you, your fingernails digging into his shoulder blades as you both came -

Before you knew it, you were coming, your peak hitting you suddenly. You screamed, head thrown back as your cunt squeezed and pulsed around your fingers.

“Steve! Fuck, oh my god, I’m cumming -”

“Shit - me too, princess. Oh -” he growled your name as he came and you convulsed and moaned as you thought about it, him spilling into his hand, your name on his lips.

You rode out your orgasm, brow sweating and breathing heavy as you came down from your high. You dropped the vibrator, the stimulation becoming too much. You just heard Steve’s labored breathing on the other end of the phone, both of you needing a moment to gather yourself. Eventually, you withdrew your fingers from yourself, grimacing. Your hand was soaked, coated in the evidence of your orgasm.

“Christ,” Steve breathed after a while, finally breaking the silence. “Baby, that was so fucking hot.”

“Yeah?” you asked. “What would you rate it?”

“Five out of five stars,” he joked. “Definitely would do it again.”

You laughed, slapping your palm to your forehead as you stared up at the ceiling. You had a stupid smile on your face, you could feel it. But, you didn’t really care - he wasn’t even here to see you.

“Same,” you said. “So, turns out you are good at phone sex.”

This earned a laugh from Steve on the other end, much to your satisfaction.

“Oh, yeah - but, I’m only going to get better with practice. Couldn’t hurt, right?”

You felt your face heat. You bit your lip, nodding.

“Yeah,” you whispered. “Practice makes perfect.”

“Good,” he said. “Because whenever I'm away, I'm planning on doing this a lot."

That time, you let yourself giggle into the phone, practically giddy. And, you tried to ignore the small part of you, deep down, that ached.

******

The next day, you hardly heard from Steve, aside from the odd text exchange here and there. That was fine enough with you - Robin got it in her head to go out again, and you opted to go along. You finally met Vickie, who met you at the bar - she seemed lovely, and exactly Robin’s type. You had been spending so much time with Steve, that you had forgotten what it had felt like to be a normal 20-year-old. So, when you stumbled in the door at 3am and collapsed in your bed, you had hardly thought about Steve at all. That was, at least, until the following day. When you woke up, it was nearly noon, a headache already forming as you blinked groggily in the morning light. You reached for your phone, squinting as the newest message from Steve flashed across the screen:

Good morning :)

morning

After a few minutes, a response:

Did you just wake up?

yeah

Robin and I went out last night

i’m kinda hungover

Should you have told him that? Or, was he going to judge you, reprimand you, ask where you went? Then again, did he have any right to?

That sounds fun. Well, not the hangover, but going out. I hope you had a good time :)

Seemed legitimate enough - over text, you learned, Steve really only knows how to be genuine.

it was, i’m regretting it now tho

Well, take it easy. I’m heading out now, I’ll probably be busy most of the day.

What were you even supposed to say to that? Have fun? Of course he wouldn’t, it was a 12-hour workday. Did he even want you to say anything to that?

ok ☺️

It wasn’t until quite late that night that you heard from him again. You were getting ready for bed, brushing your teeth when his name popped up on your screen - but now, he was FaceTiming you. Part of you wondered if it was an accident, if he meant to just do a voice call instead, or perhaps not call you at all. Still, you quickly spit out your toothpaste and fumbled with the phone to answer. Steve’s face popped up, looking expectant. It had only been a few days since you actually saw him, and you felt your heart tighten anyway.

“Hey,” you said, trying to mask your surprise as you made your way back towards your bedroom. “What’s going on?”

Something faltered in his face, only for a split second - for all you knew, it was a connection glitch.

“Oh, nothing - sorry, should I not have called?”

“No! No, it’s fine, I just - didn’t take you for the FaceTiming type.”

“I’m thirty, not eighty.”

You rolled your eyes, plopping down onto your bed and settling until you were sitting up cross-legged.

“Allegedly, you old man. How was your day?”

He sighed deeply, in a way that you almost wished you hadn’t asked.

“Fine, I guess. Long. We’re really close to closing a major deal, but… it’s just -” he sighed again, rubbing his hand across his face. “Well, I won’t bore you with the details. But it’s taking longer than expected, and we’re really hitting some roadblocks.”

“I’m sorry,” you replied, frowning a bit. He looked tired, and stressed. All you wanted was to reach through the screen and kiss it better.

“It’s alright, I’m not expecting you to say anything - I don’t even know why I’m even telling you, I just -”

“-wanted to vent,” you finished. “Yeah, I get it. You can talk about these things with me, you know.”

He smiled wearily. “Thank you. Really.”

A moment of silence passed, before he spoke again.

“So - was your day at least good?”

You shrugged. “Yeah, it was fine. Nothing too exciting. Just did a lot of cleaning around the apartment, to be honest. Cooked dinner, had a night in. You know, nothing crazy.”

“Are you feeling better?” he asked.

“Oh, yeah - nothing hydration and Advil couldn’t fix. It wasn’t too bad.”

You squinted at the screen for a moment, and realized he was sitting at a desk.

“Are you - are you FaceTiming me from your laptop?”

“Uh, yeah - why?”

You just giggled. “Nothing, it’s just… of course you are.”

He rolled his eyes, visibly fighting a smile. “I was doing work, and… I don’t know. I guess I just really wanted to see your face.”

You felt something warm in your chest, spreading through you until your ears tingled and face heated. You did your best to ignore it, just smiling back at him.

“It’s nice to see you, too,” you admitted. You felt a yawn coming on, but did your best to stifle it. Still, Steve apparently noticed, as his face set into a frown.

“Are you tired? I can go, if you want.”

“No, it’s okay! Seriously. If I hang up, I’ll just be on my phone for the next two hours, anyways.”

“As long as you’re sure -”

“I am.”

He nodded. “Okay. And I didn’t - I don’t want you to think I called for the same reason I did the other night, by the way. At least, not if you don’t want that.”

You felt your face flush at the memory.

“Then, why did you call? Just to see me?”

“Well, yes. And… this is going to sound stupid.”

“Try me,” you whispered, settling further into bed by the minute.

“I just - I haven’t been sleeping that well, since I’ve been here. I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s just being in a hotel, but I usually get used to that after a night or so. But… maybe it’s just because I haven’t been sleeping alone much lately.”

Oh.

“Do you want me to stay on with you?” you asked softly.

He nodded, glancing down to avoid your gaze.

“Okay.”

So you did. You both just started talking, about your days, the book Steve was reading, the TV show you were binge-watching. What you did around the house that day, a quick tour of your (now cleaner) bedroom, which led to him asking about the photos pinned you your wall, and the tchotchkes on your bookshelf. You got the “grand” tour of his hotel room, which he evidently had been spending very little time in. Slowly, you began to carry more of the conversation, his responses coming slower, becoming shorter. You were both in your beds, lying sideways - he had set the computer on his lap, now barely visible through the dim light.

After who knows how long, you realized you had been talking and hardly heard a response from Steve. You paused, only hearing his slow, deep breathing. He was asleep, finally. Your initial response was relief - he needed to be up early, and if this is what it took for him to finally fall asleep, that was enough for you. But, another small part of you was indescribably sad. Sad for the man on the other end of the call, who was still a boy in so many ways, who couldn’t spend his nights alone, but probably often did…until recently.

“Goodnight, Steve,” you whispered. He, of course, didn’t hear. Maybe that was for the best.

When you hung up, it didn’t take you long to fall asleep. Your last thought before you drifted off was of Steve, and the way he had said I just really wanted to see your face.

*******

For the rest of Steve’s trip, you two fell into a routine - he’d call you late at night. You’d chat about your respective days, just catch up. Sometimes, he’d vent about his frustrations with work; other times, he’d just keep asking about you. It was the night before he came back that it came up.

“You’ll probably be relieved to come home tomorrow,” you said.

“Definitely,” he admitted. He was ready for bed, only wearing a white t-shirt from what you could see on-camera, back pressed against the headboard of his bed. He sighed, eyes fluttering shut. “I really need a break, even if it’s just for the weekend.”

“Yeah,” you said. “We don’t have to do something on Saturday, by the way. In case you’re tired from traveling.”

“No! I mean, I want to see you. My flight gets in around 9am, so maybe we can do dinner?”

“Yeah, sounds great,” you replied, fighting the encroaching excitement at the thought of being with him again. “Just let me know.”

Steve raised an eyebrow, after a moment. “Wait, it’s Friday night - why are you at home?”

There’s an unspoken question in there: you didn’t stay home just for me, right?

You shrugged. “Robin’s out with Vickie, and - I don’t know, I thought about going out, doing something, but I just didn’t really feel like it.”

“Oh, okay - just making sure. Because, you’re twenty - if you want to do something fun over the weekend, it’s okay -”

“Almost twenty-one,” you joked, not even thinking as you said it. He paused, eyebrows raised.

“Almost? Is your birthday soon?”

You looked up, shrugging. “Oh, yeah - it’s next week, on the 18th.”

“Do you have something planned for it?” he asked.

You shook your head. “No, not really. Maybe Robin and I will go out to dinner with some friends, or something. I don’t know, I’ve never been big on my birthday.”

He paused for a moment, and you were suddenly afraid that he’d ask why. But, he didn’t. Instead, he just said, “Well, your 21st birthday is kind of a big deal.”

“I mean, in the States, yes. But, I can already go out to a bar here, so the novelty’s kind of worn off. Just means I’m another year older, really.”

“But, still… it’s worth celebrating, right?”

You shrugged, maintaining an air of nonchalance.

“Sure, I guess.”

It went silent for a moment, Steve evidently starting to open a new tab and start typing on his computer.

“What are you doing?” you asked.

“Nothing, just… thinking.”

You just shrugged, choosing to not even worry about it. Knowing him, he was probably responding to work emails, despite it being nearly midnight.

“You don’t want to do too much of that, you know,” you said sarcastically.

Steve scoffed, tearing his eyes from the screen back to you.

“You know, I’ve been keeping a list of all these clever quips you’ve been throwing my way,” he said.

“Oh yeah? What are you going to do with that?”

He smiled then, a mischievous glint in his eye.

“Make sure I find ways to shut you up, once I get back.”

You nearly choked on nothing, ears roaring as the blood rushed to your head. Steve must’ve noticed how caught off-guard you were, the way your mouth hung open, eyes wide. He smirked, clearly self-satisfied. That alone helped you regain your footing. In a measured voice, you replied:

“I hope that’s a promise, sir.”

His eyes darkened a bit, and he smiled.

“Take your clothes off. Right now.”

Who were you to say no to that?

******

When you woke up the next morning, strangely, there wasn’t a text from Steve. You frowned at your phone, blinking groggily. It was Saturday, and nearly noon - after spreading yourself on camera for Steve, both of you coming together with each other’s names on your lips, you had fallen into a deep, blissful sleep. Despite your lie-in, Steve should’ve touched down back in Rome by now. You had figured, at the very least, that he would’ve sent you a text with instructions for tonight.

You groaned, pressing the heels of your hands into your eyes, before slowly rolling out of bed. As you padded down the hallway, you heard movement in the kitchen. Robin must’ve already been awake. You prayed that she had already made coffee - if she hadn’t eaten yet, maybe you two would order something, or go out.

“Hey, Robs?” you called, stifling a yawn. “Is there coffee on? Because if not -”

You stopped in your tracks. Because, standing in your kitchen with Robin, was Steve. He was dressed casually, just in jeans and a black t-shirt, leaning against the counter with one hand shoved in his pocket, the other grasping a mug. He straightened up when he saw you, smiling.

“Oh - hey,” you said stiffly, trying to figure out if you were still dreaming or not.

“Morning, sleepyhead,” Robin said brightly. She immediately handed you a mug of coffee, knowing you well enough that she didn’t even have to ask. You accepted it, eyes darting back and forth between her and Steve.

“I - what are you doing here?” you asked. Realizing you sounded accusatory, you added, “It’s just - I hadn’t heard anything, I didn’t realize you were coming over -”

“Oh, this is a surprise,” he assured, smiling. Even after a week of not seeing him in-person, you felt your heart quicken at the sight of him - how boyishly handsome he was, how he stared at you like you were the only thing in the room.

“A surprise?” you echoed.

“Yeah,” Robin added. “See, Steve asked if he could come over - wait, how did you even get my number?”

Steve shrugged. “I’ve got my ways, Buckley.”

Robin just rolled her eyes. “Well, anyway - Steve came over because, well, he wanted to talk about some stuff. Well, ask me about - why don’t you tell her?” she asked, redirecting her attention to Steve.

“Right, yeah, okay.”

He locked eyes with you, grinning. “Pack your bags, we’re leaving today, for a week.”

“Leaving? For where?”

“That’s a surprise,” he said. “But, we’re taking a trip, just you and me. And, I came over to run it by Robin, and to assure her that I’m not planning on murdering you. Which, by the way, I would’ve done by now if I wanted to.”

Robin shrugged, taking a sip from her mug.

“Can’t ever be too careful.”

You shook your head.

“I - so, what’s going on? Why is this a surprise? And, don’t you have work?”

“I took the week off,” he assured. “In my seven years in this company, I’ve never taken a vacation. Not a personal day, anything. I’ve accrued a lot, and this is a pretty damn good reason to use it.”

You cocked an eyebrow, confused.

“What is?”

Steve’s eyes flitted up and down your form once, before settling his gaze back on yours, smiling warmly. You were still in your pajamas, and probably should’ve been embarrassed. But, with the way he was looking at you, you found it hard to be.

“This vacation, it’s my gift to you,” he said. “Happy birthday.”

*******

author's note: thanks for your patience, everyone. The next last few chapters are going to be longer, and have a lot more "plot" (aka fluff and angst). I also can't keep a taglist for this fic anymore - it's too long, which is a nice problem to have, but still a problem! To make sure you never miss an installment, make sure to turn on post notifications for the blog. Also keep an eye out for my new Steve series, coming soon. As always, thank you to Em - she knows why :)

KO-FI ♡

#dcmb fic #steve harrington #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington/reader #steve harrington x y/n #steve harrington smut #steve harrington/fem!reader #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington fic #steve harrington fanfiction #steve harrington x reader fluff #steve harrington x reader smut #steve harrington x fem!reader #st fic #steve harrington/reader smut #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington x you

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hbyrde36 · 4 months ago

Text

No Vacancy

Chapter 12: Checking Out

WC: 2983 | R: Explicit | CH: 12/12 | AO3 | COMPLETE!

Ch 1 Ch 2 Ch 3 Ch4 Ch 5 Ch 6 Ch 7 Ch 8 Ch 9 Ch 10 Ch 11

*STEVE*

Steve was a nervous wreck for the entire ride back to the motel after his interview. He’d gotten the job, just like he’d known he would. What he hadn’t expected was that they would ask him to start so soon.

As in, Monday morning, three days from now soon.

The elementary school’s main building had undergone massive renovations over the break, and they needed all hands on deck to make sure the classrooms, gym, and cafeteria were all set up and ready to go for the students on their first day back.

Thankfully, Steve had put in his notice with the city two weeks ago, and already worked his last shift as a lifeguard for this year. He hadn’t even told Eddie yet. It was meant to be a surprise, leaving them free to spend as much time as possible together, at least when the other man wasn’t working, before…

Well, just… before.

Before whatever happened next, happened next.

All this time Steve had been trying desperately not to jump to any conclusions. He’d been patient, giving Eddie space to figure out what he wanted to do without putting any pressure on him. From the moment they returned from their impromptu weekend in Hawkins he never brought it up again—was careful not to mention the future too much, or talk about school, or Fall, or Labor Day, the official unofficial end of the tourism season.

But each day that passed without Eddie coming to a decision made it harder and harder to not start assuming the worst. In Steve's mind, if Eddie was going to stay he’d have figured that out already and said so, wouldn’t he?

Then they’d had that mind blowing encounter in the walk-in at Eddie’s bar the other night. Bringing out completely different sides of each other in the most exquisite, intense, and incredible way. It had felt important somehow, Eddie sharing himself—giving himself to Steve in that way, falling apart so beautifully for him, trusting that Steve would put him back together again, the way Eddie always did for him.

As they’d come down, holding each other so tightly while sitting on that freezing cold floor, while he kissed the sweat from Eddie’s brow, Steve had been sure that was the moment, that Eddie would turn to him and say what he’d been waiting so anxiously to hear, but Eddie only told him he loved him, and when his legs stopped shaking had stood, helping Steve to his feet. They’d gone back to the party, as though nothing had changed, and Steve was forced to accept that maybe it hadn’t meant what he hoped. Maybe it had just been one last hurrah before Eddie told him he was moving on to his next adventure.

Steve stood outside the door to their motel room, the place he and Eddie had called home for the last two months, the place Steve would soon be calling home permanently once he made the trek back to Hawkins to pack up his old place, and dreaded going inside.

He knew Eddie would be in there waiting for him. The other man was off for the night and the two of them were supposed to go out with Chrissy and Robin later. Steve really didn’t want to ruin their evening before it had begun, or burst the carefully formed bubble they’d been happily floating in, but his Summer was over come Monday morning. They were running out of time, and he had to talk to Eddie about it as soon as possible.

Stepping quietly inside, Steve was surprised to find the room seemingly empty. He’d expected Eddie to be laid out on his bed, watching one of those so-bad-it’s-good horror movies that always seem to be on cable in the middle of the day, but he was nowhere in sight.

Steve was about to leave, figuring his boyfriend must be down at the office harassing Chrissy, when he heard Eddie’s voice speaking softly nearby.

The bathroom light was on, its door open a crack, something Steve hadn’t noticed with his mind so preoccupied with worry, and he could just see Eddie through the small gap standing in there, looking at himself in the mirror, and talking to himself.

No, not just talking to himself.

Eddie was rehearsing.

Rehearsing a speech… to Steve.

“Steve, I know…” Eddie paused, shaking his head at his own reflection. “No, no.”

Steve crept closer, careful to avoid a spot on the floor he knew tended to creak underfoot so as not to give himself away.

Eddie cleared his throat roughly before taking a deep breath and starting again. “Stevie, I'm sure you’ve been wondering…”

With an adorable little growl Eddie cut himself off again, gripping the edge of the vanity tight as he prepared to give it another go. “Get it together, Munson.”

Steve threw a hand over his own mouth to stifle a snort. He felt a little bad for listening in, and thought about announcing himself or coughing to alert Eddie to his presence, but his curiosity got the best of him and he remained quiet, desperate to know whether the love of his life was preparing to make him the happiest man alive, or working out the best way to let him down easy.

“Baby,” Eddie began, his voice suddenly sounding rough, as though his throat were tight with what he had to say. “I’ve spent the last few weeks doing what you asked, really thinking about what it would mean to stay here with you. To put down roots for once. To build a life with you—a real one that we make together on purpose. A relationship that doesn’t end or change when the season does. I worried for a while that I wasn’t ready. That neither of us were, really. That it was too new, too fast, too soon for all this. That it would burn hot for a while but end up just a flash in the pan…”

Eddie paused, hanging his head, letting out a huff of wry laughter.

“But, as has been pointed out by everyone with eyeballs, you’ve always had a piece of my heart, even when I wasn’t ready to admit it, and if what a certain little birdie told me is true then I think—maybe I’ve always had a piece of yours too?”

“Eddie,” Steve gasped softly before he could stop himself, and Eddie’s head snapped up, eyes comically wide as they met Steve’s through his reflection in the mirror.

“So you probably heard all that, huh?” Eddie said after a long moment frozen in shock. He shook his head, lips curling up into a shy smile. “Man, I really gotta start paying more attention to my surroundings before I run my mouth.”

Steve pushed the bathroom door open slowly and stepped inside the small space. “I’m sorry, I-I shouldn't have eavesdropped… again.”

Not that it had been his fault the last time, for the record.

“Don’t be. The words were meant for you anyway, and who knows if I'd have been able to get the whole speech out if we were face to face.” Eddie turned away from the sink to face him. “You do have quite the history of distracting me.”

“Does this mean…” Steve started to ask but couldn’t quite get the question out.

“Yes, I’m staying right here.” Eddie said with no hesitation. “I’m so gone on you, sweetheart, and we both know I’ve never been one to think of the future much before, but, god—now I can’t imagine one without you in it.”

“Are you sure?”

Closing the distance between them, Eddie took Steve’s face in his hands. ��Christ, baby. You have no idea how much you mean to me, do you? I actually can't believe I'm going to say this, but I've never meant anything more—if it was legal, and also not completely fucking insane after such a short time together, I'd probably ask you to marry me.”

Steve grinned, his vision blurring as tears sprang to his eyes. He reached up to cover Eddie’s hands with his own and leaned forward, pressing their foreheads together.

“I’d probably say yes.”

Their double date that night wound up being a huge celebration all around. Robin and Chrissy were thrilled, and visibly relieved, to learn that Eddie had worked up the courage to admit what he wanted and commit, even if it had come out while Steve was listening in secret like a creep—in Robin’s words.

The details didn’t matter, if anything it only meant more to Steve knowing those had been Eddie’s unguarded thoughts.

The girls had their own good news to share too. After meeting Tracey at Chrissy’s party and getting a little friendly advice from the older woman, the two of them sat down together, wrote out a new business plan, and finally got approval for their sorely needed loan. Enough to get the past-due bills paid, boost their advertising, and get through the Winter if they were careful.

Steve and Eddie left for Hawkins the next morning. Dan was happy enough to let Eddie off for a few days once he learned his favorite bartender would be staying on year-round if they wanted him.

They did.

With Wayne’s help they managed to get all of Steve's belongings packed up and shoved into the back of Eddie's van in a little over a day, dragging the old furniture he was leaving behind out to the curb for anyone passing by to take for free.

It was strange to think he was finally leaving Hawkins for good. They’d come back to town as often as they could to visit Eddie’s uncle, of course, but this place would no longer be Steve’s home—and thank fuck for that.

Wayne saw them off bright and early Sunday morning from the trailer, after convincing Eddie to pack up and take the rest of his own things along with them too, or at least whatever would fit in the BMW’s trunk for now, since he was “finally settling down” and all. Eddie had rolled his eyes dramatically, but Steve knew the move was only meant to disguise the way they’d gone all glassy when Wayne hugged him and told him how proud he was of the man Eddie was growing into.

They returned home, finding the girls offering to move them into a different unit in the motel. Steve was hesitant at first, saddened by the idea of saying goodbye to the place where it had all begun, to the four walls and two very well-worn mattresses that held so many memories. But their new place was on the ground floor, a little bigger than their original room, and had a king size bed. It was also closer to Robin and Chrissy’s room—though not too close, because after Robin overheard them going at it that one time she swore she’d kick them both out or leave herself if she ever had to hear Steve shouting Eddie’s name that way again.

Steve couldn't even argue, he knew he was loud.

Maybe he’d ask Eddie to start gagging him.

In the coming months he and Eddie fell into life together with natural ease, though it wasn’t completely without struggle. They hardly ever fought, and when they did it was almost always because they simply missed each other. Still working on fairly opposite schedules, it wasn’t unusual for them to go several days without seeing each other during daylight hours. In the end Eddie decided to stop working Sunday nights. The tips weren’t worth missing the time they could spend together on Steve’s weekends off, and Sundays became couple days. Sacred time for just the two of them to do whatever they wanted. To laze around in bed, fucking sweet and slow for hours on end, or go on dinner dates, or see a movie. An entire day every week completely devoted only to each other.

In their separate off time, they both did what he could to help Robin and Chrissy out around the motel. Once he’d proved himself, Steve took on the role of handyman and wouldn’t take a dime for his services, while Eddie took on the task of delivering the Buckingham’s newly designed brochures to every visitor's center and rest stop on the east coast within driving distance.

Their combined hard work paid off, and by the time Spring rolled around the motel’s future was looking bright, their reservations list as fully booked up for the coming tourist season as Robin and Chrissy had pretended they were the year before.

It was late in the morning on Saturday, and Steve was busy installing a new air conditioning unit in the lobby, the temperature outside already reaching unbearable levels some days though it was only June first, when Robin asked him to come into Chrissy’s office for a minute.

Eddie was already in there with the two girls, looking just as confused and mildly concerned as Steve felt. It wasn’t unheard of for the four of them to meet like this to go over what tasks needed to be done around the motel and divide them up accordingly, but Chrissy and Robin looked particularly nervous. It wasn’t a good sign. Steve didn’t understand, he was so sure that things were going well.

“What’s wrong?” Steve asked, leaning down to drop a kiss on Eddie's lips before sliding into the seat next to him, their hands coming together automatically, fingers laced where they hung between the two chairs.

Robin bit her lip, sharing a loaded look with Chrissy before turning back to answer him. “Listen, we may have, possibly, made a mistake with the bookings—again.”

Eddie leaned forward, eyes narrowing as he glared at the two girls.

“For real this time!” Chrissy added quickly.

“Okay, well, we’re already bunking together so I don’t know what—” Steve began, but Robin cut him off before he could finish his sentence.

“I’m glad you asked, dingus.”

Steve frowned. “I didn’t—”

“We were thinking maybe, just for the Summer, that all four of us could share the two bedroom me and Chrissy are in.”

Steve’s mouth dropped open. He and Eddie both sat in stunned silence for a moment before exchanging matching horrified glances with each other.

Suddenly Robin burst out laughing, practically doubled over as her body shook with it. “Oh my god, your faces are priceless! I wish I had a camera.”

“Oh, you were kidding. That’s a relief,” Steve said, letting out the breath he’d been holding.

“Of course I was kidding.” Robin wrinkled her nose in disgust. “Do you honestly think I would voluntarily subject myself to three months of sharing walls, let alone a bathroom, with the two of you?!”

Steve rolled his eyes. “It was one time! Are you ever going to let it go?”

“Pay for my future therapy and we’ll call it even.”

“Done.”

Steve thrust his free hand out and Robin stepped forward to shake it.

“Okay, so… what, this whole thing was a joke?” Eddie asked.

Robin shook her head. “Oh, no. Not at all.”

Chrissy leaned forward, raking a hand down her face. “I’ve already had to tell several callers this morning that we were full up for their travel dates. We’re extremely overbooked, and Robin and I were sort of hoping you guys might be open to the idea of moving out to free up space?”

“Like, as soon as possible,” Robin added.

“Wait, what?!” Steve shouted.

“Yeah! Isn’t it great?”

“Robin!”

Eddie’s grip tightened reassuringly, drawing Steve’s attention back as he raised their clasped hands to his mouth, pressing a soft kiss over Steve's knuckles. “Don’t worry, sweetheart, I think I know just the place for us.”

It turned out that Eddie had been eyeing up a slightly run down but adorable little cottage on his way to and from work every day for the last few months. Its windows had been boarded up all through Winter, the property overgrown and appearing abandoned, but a few weeks ago a for rent sign had appeared by the mailbox out of the blue, and Eddie admitted to letting his imagination run wild over the possibilities.

They called the number on the sign and scheduled a viewing for as soon as possible.

The small three bedroom bungalow didn't look like much from the outside, or the inside for that matter, but Eddie was right, it was easy to see the potential.

Steve could already picture the gardens he might plant. There was plenty of room to grow tomatoes and herbs in the backyard, and great big rose bushes would look amazing in the front, their color peaking brightly out from between the slats of an honest to god white picket fence. There was even an old wooden arbor perched over the walkway just begging for some ivy to grow over it.

The inside needed some serious updating. He wasn’t convinced the ancient appliances even worked anymore, but it was cozy, with so much character, and most importantly it had three bedrooms. One for them, one to double as an office and a place for Eddie’s books and guitars to live, and the last for Wayne.

Because Steve had fallen in love with this place at first sight, just like Eddie did. He already knew that the moment they had the money for a down payment they’d stop renting and offer to buy the place. And if Steve had anything to say about it, Eddie’s Uncle would always have a room in their forever home, a soft place to land should he ever need, or want it, just like he’d always made sure Eddie had.

And they lived happily ever after, until gay marriage was legalized in their state. Then Eddie did propose, got down on one knee and everything right there on the beach by their beautiful home. Steve said yes, and they finally got married, and lived even more happily ever after as husbands. The end.

All my thanks and love to @penny00dreadful for being the best beta, friend, and cheerleader.

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allthegeopolitics · 5 months ago

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On a tiny island off Panama’s Caribbean coast, about 300 families are packing their belongings in preparation for a dramatic change. Generations of Gunas who have grown up on Gardi Sugdub in a life dedicated to the sea and tourism will trade that next week for the mainland’s solid ground. They go voluntarily — sort of. The Gunas of Gardi Sugdub are the first of 63 communities along Panama’s Caribbean and Pacific coasts that government officials and scientists expect to be forced to relocate by rising sea levels in the coming decades.

#world news #panama #climate change #rising sea levels

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packandgotourism · 11 months ago

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Himalayan Highs: An Adventure Seeker's Journey Beyond Boundaries

Embark on a thrilling adventure that pushes boundaries and calls out to the daring souls yearning for the extraordinary. Located amidst the stunning Himalayan mountain range, this journey promises an unmatched experience, featuring awe-inspiring vistas, challenging landscapes and a singular sense of spiritual harmony.

Embarking on the Adventure:

The Himalayas provide an adventurous playground that is unlike any other. Just picture yourself standing at the foothills, with the fresh mountain air filling your lungs as you look up at the sky-reaching peaks. This marks the beginning of an expedition that will challenge your boundaries while simultaneously providing you with breathtaking views at every step.

Navigating the Terrain:

The Himalayas are renowned for their diverse landscapes, ranging from lush green valleys to barren, snow-capped peaks. To embark on this journey, you'll need to select your mode of transportation carefully. Opting for a low-cost budget-fitting car rental in Siliguri will ensure that you have a reliable companion on the winding mountain roads that lead to the heart of the Himalayas. The car will not only serve as a means of transportation, but it will also play a significant role in your overall experience.

As you drive through the beautiful countryside, every twist and turn reveals new treasures. The rugged terrain demands a reliable rental car that can navigate the challenging paths. It's important to choose a reputable rental company so that you can focus on your adventure and not worry about the dependability of your vehicle. Your goal should be to conquer the heights, not to fret about your transportation.

A Budget-Friendly Expedition:

If you're worried about the cost of your Himalayan adventure, there are ways to plan it without spending a fortune. By using the right resources and planning ahead, you can embark on a fantastic journey without breaking the bank. In Siliguri, there are low-cost car rental options available that allow you to explore the Himalayas at your own pace and within your budget.

Moreover, making wise choices when it comes to accommodations and dining, paired with a good understanding of the local area, can make your vacation both cost-effective and authentic. By immersing yourself in the mountain lifestyle and embracing the local culture, you can enhance your experience without overspending.

Consider connecting with 'Pack and Go Tourism' services to enhance your Himalayan adventure. These providers often offer customized packages that combine accommodations, transportation, and adventure activities. With this option, you can save time and benefit from the expertise of professionals who know how to navigate the complexities of the Himalayan region.

The Spiritual Connection:

Embarking on a trek in the Himalayas provides a transformative spiritual connection, in addition to physical challenges and breathtaking surroundings. The serenity of ancient monasteries perched on mountain peaks, the delicate prayer flags swaying in the breeze, and the mystical atmosphere that permeates the air all contribute to an extraordinary experience.

To sum up, Himalayan adventures are not just about conquering peaks; they are about surpassing personal barriers, immersing oneself in the grandeur of nature, and discovering inner peace in the heart of the mountains. Your trip to the Himalayas awaits, with a budget-friendly car rental service in Siliguri and the guidance of 'Pack and Go Tourism,' a journey beyond borders for the adventurous spirit in you.

#pack and go tourism #adventure #travel blog #best places to travel #traveling #road trip #travel photography #tourism #tourist

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the-gateway-to-madness · 10 months ago

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It sorta bothers me that post-series people are still complaining about 3Below being disconnected from the rest of Tales of Arcadia. For me, it was a refreshing break from the densely-packed fantasy lore and an intriguing peek at the way the universe beyond Arcadia and Earth functions. I liked the character arcs and interpersonal connections. And there was ample room for me to come up with a bunch of my own headcanons, which I love! I absolutely love being able to slot pieces of my own mind and soul into an existing world! I don't like shows where I'm told how every little detail works, that's way too much to remember. Instead I want enough to create an idea of the rules and how things might have gone/might continue to go and fill in whatever else I want.

Also, I think 3Below was SUPPOSED to be a lot more connected before Wizards got cut down. Tons of ideas didn't make it into the limited series run- I remember hearing stuff about Mordred being involved, a lost Krel arc, and I'm sure a lot of lore that would have bound the worlds together more closely. When they mentioned Gaylen's core came from Earth, there was clearly supposed to be more to that, but it got cut out. I'm like 93% sure Gaylen was a being who was part of or similar to the Arcane Order, but was drawn to the cosmos rather than to a part of the Earth. That would indicate that Akiridion tech and magic are compatible because Akiridions' energy-based life was initially magical, but those roots were largely forgotten because of how old a civilization Akiridion is. They've been spacefaring since humans were cavepeople. If the Order existed from the primeval dawn of the world, and Gaylen left not long after that, Akiridion could be millenia ahead of Earth. Or, heck, maybe Earth was the first or only livable world, and Gaylen created the Order to look after it before going off to try to find or create life elsewhere. I always headcanoned that Seklos was more powerful than most Akiridions or even the Royals that came after her, given the fact her core alone was enough to stop Gaylen while in the modern era it requires two royal cores. Maybe she was created by Gaylen to be Akiridion's version of an Arcane Order type being, and she created normal Akiridions, which she then had kids with, diluting her power in the Royals that followed. There's so much ancient history to unpack from just the tidbits we were given.

As for the modern era, there seems to very distinctly be a major intergalactic connection. The drunk ship operator in episode 3 of 3b s1 that the Zerons interrogate talks about ship classifications, which indicates a universal or at least an interplanetary system of ship ratings. We also see interplanetary tourism, and signs that Akiridion is one of the most advanced and influential planets out there.

3Below doesn't need to continue the plot of Trollhunters to be a valid part of Tales of Arcadia. It brought an energy to ToA that was somewhere between Star Trek TNG and Babylon 5, and I love how it expands the weirdness of Arcadia. If it was supposed to be a continuation of Trollhunters, they would have made more Trollhunters. But it's not Trollhunters, it's 3Below. And Wizards isn't Trollhunters either! I honestly think that Camelot, Douxie, and the world of wizards could have been written such that the Trollhunters cast was much less focal, and that if they'd given the show the time it needed and deserved to tell its story, it would have been fleshed-out and fascinating all on its own, with or without the TH gang. Where are the magic users beyond the reach of Camelot? Are there merfolk, sirens, harpies, dryads, more dragons, or other sapient races living on Earth with their own civilizations and magic and cultures? There are so many worlds and so many potential stories out there, on Earth and beyond, in the Tales of Arcadia universe. Arcadia just happens to be the narrative meshing point of them all. And I think that's a really cool way to build a universe.

Anyway, thanks for coming to my TED talk, here's more Akiridion development as a treat for making it this far.

#Tales of Arcadia #3below tales of arcadia #trollhunters tales of arcadia #wizards tales of arcadia #toa #jim lake jr #toby domzalski #jim lake junior #toa trollhunters #claire nunez #hisirdoux casperan #douxie #toa wizards #trollhunters #toa 3below #3below #krel tarron #aja tarron

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gauloiseblue · 1 year ago

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Private Love Hotel

[Giorno Giovanna × Reader]

Warning: kidnapping, dub-con, yandere

In the wealthy area of Naples, there was once a private hotel owned by the mafia. Only people within the organization who could rent a room, as the hotel itself is just a cover front. Beneath the surface, there was a filthy business going on. Illegal guns, drugs, booze, high-class brothel, and even killing contracts. It was notoriously known as a killing ground, before there was a new policy imposed by the boss. Any killing that happens in this hotel won't be forgiven, and the killer would pay a heavy price—with their own life.

Besides drugs and killing, there were lesser businesses that made people stay for a night. It was the prostitution. Even though it's not as heinous as those top businesses, it still shared the same atrocities. The demand of the escorts were high at that time, and so to meet their demand, they relied to the human trafficking business.

Naples is known for its raving tourism, and it's not a surprise that it added some numbers to the overall missing cases. Although it's not always caused by the human traffickers, it still contributes a hefty part of the cases. Lone travelers, or even local girls were often targeted by them.

But after the great war within the organization, the hotel fell into the hands of the renegades. As a result, it no longer becomes the hotspot for the criminals. There's no more drug trades, and the abducted girls were released discreetly. Of course, there was an outrage from the old pack, but they were quickly shut down by the young rebels.

In the beginning, only a few knew about the existence of such place. But now, there's only one person who can actually enter the hotel.

The reason? Quite simple. Because he's the new owner.

—

"We've arrived, sir."

The man in the back seat slowly blinked away from his thoughts. It seems like the endless ride from Cosenza to his city has finally ended.

"Grazie, Bono."

The chauffeur lowers his head politely, before he opens the door for the young Don.

When he stepped out from the car, he let out a satisfied sigh, as he finally touched the ground. His bones are aching, and he wants nothing but a long and hot shower.

"Pick me up at 8 o'clock tomorrow morning will you, Bono?" He asked, and the old chauffeur replied with 'certainly, sir.'

He dismissed the old chap before he went to the grand buildings in front of him. The buildings have an overall white exterior, with a hint of gold embellishments. There are some wisteria flowers creeping on the wall, and they seem to always bloom. He looks down to the marble tiles under his shoes, it seems like they've been polished. It appears that his henchmen did a great job on keeping this place beautiful when he was away.

The waterfall sound greets him as he opens the door, the replica of Fontana del Nettuno silently watches him as he enters the place.

The elongated pool from the fountain ripples softly when he dips his hand, the water is pleasantly cool. It was something that he usually does whenever he came, though he wasn't quite sure why. Maybe it's because he always wanted to do that before he owned the place, or maybe it's just a peculiar habit of his.

He wanted to sit by the fountain for a bit longer, but he needed to see his cara.

Oh, yes. A woman after his own heart, with a pretty name—(Y/N). A woman with a perseverance in her eyes, burning with hatred. Just like a wildfire, and it's beautiful.

When you were first brought to him, he shivered the moment he met your eyes. You had a certain intensity of willingness to fight, and it mesmerized him. He had planned to release you along with the other girls, but within that second, he changed his mind.

He hums as he presses the lift button, and the familiar 'ding' is heard when the lift has arrived. He ignored the other floors and immediately thumbs the 7th floor button.

The door is closed, and he leans his head to the back as he crosses his hands. He stares at the ceiling, and he finds himself staring at his own reflection. His weariness makes him look far softer, and he no longer looks like the ruthless Don Giorno Giovanna. But he doesn't mind, because at the end of the day, he just wants to come home to you.

As he reaches the 7th floor, he steps into the red-carpeted hallway. This particular floor was exclusively reserved for the higher ranks, as the rooms are bigger than the others. The statues made of marbles are standing on either side of the hall, decorating the place with the touch of arts and plump bodies.

Even though he only uses one room, he keeps most of his wealth in the other rooms. Golds, money, arts, his wide collections of booze and jewelry, and everything unimaginable. Some of them are priceless, and Mista had commented that it's a bad idea to keep them in just one place. But he has his teroso in this hotel, so he might as well put his valuable things in here.

When he opened the door of your room, he noticed that the room was quiet. It's no surprise, given that you always try to hide from him. But when he turned around, he suddenly saw something swing at him at a light speed.

Alas, Golden Experience was faster than you as it caught your hand before you could hurt him.

"Cara." He spoke in a calm manner as he saw you with your hand suspended in the air, holding a screwdriver. And to your horror, the tool in your hand had slowly turned into a white lily.

"How clever of you, you managed to steal this thing from my men when they came here." He commented as he plucked the flower from your hand, "But certainly not patient enough to kill me in my sleep."

There is a visible rush in you as adrenaline makes you tremble, but there's also an unmistakable fear in your eyes. Of course, you didn't know what's going on due to the fact that he never used his stand against you before.

You shrieked when he suddenly twisted your arm painfully and pinned you to the nearest wall. Your cheek was the first one to hit the hard surface, and it would be a lie if it didn't hurt.

"Let go of me!" You shouted and kicked around, but he just chuckled at your futile attempt to fight him.

"How can I become so sure that you won't try to kill me again?" He said with a sneer.

A surprised yelp escapes your mouth when he tears your pants down, cool air begins to kiss on your exposed skin. He called out his stand to keep you pinned to the wall, before you heard the sound of metal clinking and zipper from behind.

"No, no, Giorno, please don't." You protested.

"Relax, (Y/N)." He pried your legs open so easily, even though you had put all of your strength to keep it shut. You almost lost your balance when he pulled your hips toward him, and soon enough you felt him lining his member in front of your lower lips. You screamed when he entered you in just one thrust.

"Please, please Giorno—" Your voice choked up when he began to move. The initial thrush didn't hurt you much, but with every snap of his hips, the pain was gradually increasing. Even though you despise his touch, he never treated you like anything but a lover. But the way he treats you now is like how you were being used in the past, and it shouldn't bother you but it did. Unknowingly, you begin to sob.

You feel the weight that has been holding you against the wall disappear, before Giorno presses himself against your back. He slips his hand under your chin, and guides you to face him. You feel his lips grazing on your wet cheek. "Why do you always want to run away from me, cara?" He began to speak as he kissed you, "All I ever did to you was to make you happy, and I only asked you to love me in return."

"It's not fair," You cried, "I didn't ask for all of this."

"Oh, cara." He cooed to you softly, "You just haven't realized how much you need me. But I'll wait for you, I'll wait for however long it takes."

He begins to return to his usual pace, where he takes you in a slow and loving manner. Although you still refuse to give in, he no longer sees any resistance from you. He smirks, you were just like a wild thing, but it seems like he finally got you under his control.

#jjba #jojo part 5 #giorno giovanna #giorno x reader #yandere #private love hotel series

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raisindave · 10 hours ago

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[Chapter 77] Seeing the World Through Ballistic-Tinted Glasses

Desertion is a lot easier than you'd expect. You were never one for skipping school, but there's something of a rush to it. Like you're in a place you're not allowed to be, all while being exactly where you're supposed to be. Of course, these consequences are a little more dire than skipping math class in high school; you're abandoning your post. Desertion is a crime punishable by dishonourable discharge or worse. But how does that charge fare when you aren't even actively deployed to begin with? Where's the dishonour in acting on your own free will as an unbound, non-working citizen? Laswell never specifically said your vacation had to take place in that hotel.

Luckily for you, tickets to California are easy to come by in Korea. Tourism and business go hand in hand between the two nations, and express flights seem to be given out like candy. Luckier yet, it doesn't have to be a round trip. The ATM let you take out the cash you'd use to pay for your ticket, and the lady at the desk didn't even lift her gaze when she took the envelope. Only thumbing through the stack and flipping a boarding pass into your palm.

Security was tougher than you remember; you'd become so used to express personnel travel due to being on some internationally recognized task force. You aren't operating under the borrowed trust organizations like the SAS get when it comes to airport security. Now, you're subject to beeping wands and plastic trays for your shoes. The sky was dark and full of stars out the slanted windows, and in the beaming glint of your phone, you chose to preemptively activate the airplane mode, settling with anxiously tapping your feet in anticipation for your row to be called.

A plain hoodie and sweats will help you blend in, filling in shoulder-to-shoulder with hoodies and suit jackets alike onto a broad, carpeted fuselage. There are no grey-green woven hammocks to sling your packs, substituted with tidy cabin cubbies that keep your black backpack out of view. Bench-like iron seats were replaced by cushioned upholstered recliners, if you can call them recliners, with seatback displays that read as surreal compared to what you're used to. Stewardesses with colourful neckties pour bubbling drinks in a thimble-sized plastic cup. Do they pin you as someone who'd committed desertion? Do they recognize the scruff of someone in the military? Or does this casual hoodie and groggy disposition sell the story? None of them seem to notice, pushing their rattling carts down the aisle to pawn more thimble-sized cups to the next guest.

If you're honest with yourself, you were never really in tune with pop culture even before your deployment, but its absence suddenly sparked interest in your heart. Third installments of movies you'd never even heard of, it's like pop culture had been on pause. Flicking through the categories, you'd settle for anything. Anything but a romance, as your finger hovered over a cheesy poster of a woman embracing a towering man in black with a waterfall of red silk around her, turned to the camera with a wicked, knowing grin. A mocking grin that tinged your eyes misty. They were both looking at you through the screen, taunting you like they'd won, satisfied by your deficiency of their connection. They knew they had what you'd tasted that once. You ran away, and they stayed, and look how happy they are. You clicked away, you had to. Clicked off the pixelated poster to some shitty action movie that you could surrender to a couple hours of violent oblivion.

At some point, you somehow fell asleep to all the gunfire and explosions rattling through those cheap headphones. Maybe that's an indication of a larger issue. Either way, a dinging seatbelt light altered you to an upcoming landing, and just like that, you were in home territory. Something about this career makes the world feel so small. After all, you're always only a few hours away from anywhere in the world if you really think about it. It makes you think about that first flight you made this way, that first flight over the Yellow Sea that brought you to that snowy bunker where you met this gaggle of Brits. That cake Soap and Gaz made you as an apology. How intimidated you were of Ghost. Those nukes you confiscated and the look Price gave you when he realized your potential. It stung your heart with a bittersweet twang of humour.

Even the air in the bustling airport feels familiar. Luckily, you have no luggage to check. Yellow taxis sit like ducks in neat rows along multi-lane streets; an unfriendly-looking cab driver didn't blink twice when you slipped in the back seat and blurted out a street address you were surprised you remembered. Joints ached from travel, and your temples seized from the change in the climate. It'll take you some time to climatize, but it's nothing you're not used to doing. Only now did it occur to you what the rest of your group might be thinking. Had they noticed? You had the benefit of the doubt that you'd just retired for an early night's rest, you had a solid 8-hour lead. How long would it take them to notice you'd slinked away? They're probably off to that task with Farah Soap mentioned, and Laswell's likely in tow with her nose in a folder and a puffy vest on her shoulders.

You're in the cab on your way home, and now there's one thing left to do. Knowing him, Chucky's the kind of guy who'll answer any unknown caller's number without a second thought— as psychopathic as that is. The contact your friend provided sat in your text messenger, a line of blue numbers just a tap away. With your stomach in a knot, you pressed your thumb to the glass, and the screen went dark. Lifting the device to your ear, it rang, and rang, and rang, until a familiar voice grumpily answered, and you weepily blubbered out a response.

When he recognized your voice, you could hear the sound of the chair he was in creak as he shot upright, and you showered each other in greetings and praise. You were only a few minutes into complaining about work, telling the story in chronological order as best you could without compromising any secretive details. Babbling on about your lack of recognition, your tedious tasks, and your unsettling vacation to the tune of a rattling speaker playing pop music from the driver up front. The more you speak, the more agitated you became. Spewing rants about duties and frustrations and extreme expectations for no reward, heaving to catch your breath as the windows misted around you when all of a sudden, his stern tone snapped you out of your trance, and for a moment, you blinked in confusion.

"Do you hear yourself, Lua?"

His words stunned you for a moment, pressing your phone closer to your ear as if you didn't hear him right. A breathy laugh from the speaker made your face contort into a frustrated cringe. How can he laugh at you right now?

"Lua, the answer is obvious, but you won't want to hear it," he spoke past through a smile, you could just hear it through the phone.

"What do you mean obvious?"

Now he'd gone silent in a cruel twist of fate. Even still, it was like he was stifling a laugh behind that speaker as if he saw something blatantly visible to anyone but you.

"My love, do you think this career is right for you?

That sentence stunned you. So much so that you could feel the humid air dance over your teeth from your agape mouth. You squinted in confusion, and then your mouth twisted into a laugh. The words registered as cohesive, but the absurdity clicked more plainly.

"I can't just quit because I'm not getting a kiss on the forehead every time I do my job," you started, twirling the pull-string of your hoodie around your finger.

"Is that how you really feel?"

The cabin had run so silent even the cab driver's eyes flickered to meet yours through the rearview mirror.

"It's okay to admit you're not satisfied," Chucky's voice grew soft and paternal. "Settling with something that makes you miserable is giving up, not the act of dropping it. Demand respect for yourself because you're the only one who will. That's life."

"What am I supposed to do then? The military is my whole identity…"

"You don't have to know all the answers right away, just work with what you know."

"What will they do without me? I can't just drop out on a dime," your voice cracked, inexplicably closing your throat as a wall of repressed emotions surfaced.

"The military is like a wall… remove one brick, and the wall still stands. There's no shortage of linguists in NATO."

“SAS… or…CIA, I think."

"CIA? Aren't you RCAF?" he spoke into the slightly echoed sound of what must be a mug of coffee.

"It's complicated… I stopped asking questions long ago."

"'Seems like you show know that kind of thing," he sounded irritated by your laissez-faire attitude.

"It's hard to sit down and ask about your professional affiliations when you're dressed up as a hooker on a mob yacht," the words oozed past your lips into the device, a lullaby you'd told yourself for years to keep yourself sane.

"What?"

An uncomfortable pause had wedged itself into the conversation. A pause, you didn't have the wherewithal to unravel the necessary context to make that sentence make sense to him. The musty air in the cabin made your blood run thick and lethargic.

"I just can't wait to be home. I need to see something that's authentic."

"There's something else."

"Hm?" you humm absentmindedly.

"You wouldn't come tearing home in a tizzy over an overdue vacation."

The words wouldn't manifest. Not only on your lips but not in your brain either. The taxi's bobbing over potholes fought for your attention as the cabin's rhythm rattled your brain. What if Ghost thinks you're quitting because of your little spat? Well, that's part of it… well, that's a significant portion of it, but in reality it's just a branch from the same roots: overworked, unacknowledged, isolated and indolent. This isn't what you signed up for. It's not what you're honed for. Months of mantras carefully hummed to yourself in iambic pentameter that twist your experience into something sweeter than it is—distorting your own honest perception. For what? Your teammates? A sense of greater good? What's kept you complacent enough to persist?

"I-" a sigh forced itself into your lungs. "Let's have a sit-down and chat about this… I'll be home in ten."

Chucky's never been the kind of guy you can keep secrets from. Worst yet, the longer you know him, the better he gets at sussing out the slightest lie in a story. He's observant. It's annoying. There are some things he doesn't have to know, some relationships and drama that he doesn't have to be privy to. But he pries it from you nonetheless, and the kicker is that it always feels relieving to unburden yourself. Even if it isn't something you would've come forward about willingly. It's not a matter of if but when he finds out about your dilemma with Ghost. Maybe he doesn't have to be privy to everything about that relationship.

Your eyes drifted to the lawns around your neighbourhood. Yours had been kept up with, some HOA or other had been strongarmed into handling it by the powers-that-be. Lawns… when's the last time you'd seen a lawn? When's the last time you'd seen a minivan? A cul-de-sac? It felt alien to be alien, like you're not supposed to be out of place here. Soon enough, Chucky will come barging through your door with a multicoloured bouquet, and you'll think about how they don't look cheap anymore, but like they're exploding with joy- innocent glee like that from the eyes of a lover, not those of a fighter. Except he is a fighter. He'd served longer than you, and he has the wisdom of age with the compassion of experience. Maybe you won't have to quit after all, and this reset will knock your gears back into line. Smoother than ever. You'll don that uniform and slip back into Laswell's graces. Send her a text that you're on your way back after a night or two in your own bed. It's not like she won't know you've left; you're not sly enough to outfox her. Yet.

Eventually the taxi dropped you off, wordlessly passing the payment terminal and tearing off without another word. When you get in your house, you'll have a world of cleaning to expect. And you were right. From what you remember, the familiar squeal of your front door had reached a new octave, but that's expected, welcoming, from ages of not being used. It's like a dog squealing with excitement to welcome you home, a tune exclusive to your ears. Mail crunched under your sneakers, a perfect shoeprint over flyers and coupons now months expired.

The air was thick with dust, thicker the more you stirred. The distantly familiar routine didn't take long to resurface in your synapses, flinging your coat around wiry hangers, kicking off rigid new sneakers to lay at its base. Dead plants lay in coiled husks like rooted tumbleweeds, sunbleached and stark. From the look of things, your work is cut out for you. Do you dust, vacuum, or start with a dustpan and broom? It's the kind of plights you craved. The kinds you missed out on. Sure, it's gross, and clouds of dust erupt from wads of blankets when you sit on your couch, but a familiar smell brought sugar-sweet memories to coat the back of your eyelids.

The fridge was what you dreaded most. Did you leave anything in there? It's probably so mouldy it's become sentient by now. Before you left, you did some cooking before you were deployed again, as far as you can remember. And the couch sure is comfortable once you get past the powdery dust that gathers between your knuckles. Anticipation got the better of you though, and curiosity bubbled beyond your own containment. Your knees creaked when you rose, but you eventually made your way to the kitchen. Maybe you can guilt Chucky into helping you clean, but at the very least, you should tidy up a place to sit and spill your guts about how you may or may not have briefly fallen head-over-heels with your lieutenant, or something of the sort.

There's that wooden archway you'd bodyslammed into on dozens of drunken nights, paired with a few dents that were consequences of lazily carrying a laundry basket. Through the arch, you beheld a sight so bizarre you couldn't even compel your muscles to draw you closer. But you did. Sat on your counter surrounded by a level ocean of dust sat a vase. A crystal vase, ridged and etched with lavish geometric patterns cast ribbons of light through the lacy curtain across the room. Green stems, straight and trimmed, connected to the most elegant bouquet. Virgin blue roses in perfect coils, fragrant enough to reach you before you could touch them. It felt like a dream, but your senses deceived you. Their cobalt finish challenged your optical perceptions and upended all logic. Velvety petals, smooth and light as your fingertips drag through them. Panic. These hollowed grounds you'd called home aren't safe. This sacred place is corrupted. It's a sickening, nauseating panic. Like the antichrist in a cathedral. Like a wolf in a pasture. Sickening anticipation and your heels turn on a swivel. By the time your knees lowered into a grounding stance, those familiar redwood floors were screaming toward you, and everything went silent.

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