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flaringfoxsoul03 · 2 years ago

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Hello! Could I ask for a twst matchup please? I'm Nord, and I go by she/her.

For personality, I've been told I'm a little mischievous but sweet and calming to be around. I'm definitely more on the introverted side but can come off as extroverted due to my friendly nature. Generally, I have a lot of patience and don't tend to get angry unless it's on the behalf of others. I worry for those around me more than myself and nag when I grow concerned ^^; Some of my other traits include being competitive, curious, stubborn and detail-oriented. overall, I have a lot of emotions but do my best to express them in a way that's not a nuisance for anybody. I just want to enjoy the little things in life!

I write short stories, play video games, watch anime (especially horror and comedy), bake and take walks in the nature in my free time. I also love dogs, and tea. I’m currently studying english and geography! Reciting poetry and quotes help me sleep.

As for love languages, I love giving gifts (especially self-made trinkets like jewellery and I will spoil my partner with them), acts of service and quality time. I'm clumsy with words of affirmation but also a bit of an accidental flirt because I like complimenting people??

Thank you so much, take your time and have a good day <33

Hello there my beloved! So sorry it took so long to get this out, but I have your request in my hands no, you’ll be okay…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I match you with…

Riddle Rosehearts!

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So, hear me out. Riddle isn’t so bad, we all know this. It’s just his mom who’s kind of a sucker for so much control it’s damaging (homie here can relate 😭 saddest of enbies). But I swear, I know what I’m doing. This is full of tragedy, but a hopeful ending for the couple you guys make.

With how extroverted you initially came off to him, Riddle thought you were a massive rule breaker. If that’s not one thing he despises intensely, the world must be ending otherwise. He only saw how angry you got at him for collaring Ace, shouting every word you could possibly throw at his noggin to clarify how dumb he is for following all the rules to a T. After his Overblot, he gets to really meet you and appreciate who you are as you finally let your walls come down.

Instead of anger, he sees the endless amount of worry you put into everyone, which is no easy feat since there’s quite a few of them you eventually friend along the way. He’s even accidentally figured out when you start showing massive red flags for burning out severely, but unfortunately he doesn’t quite realize what burnout is and allows it to get to the point where you finally break (I’ll make that bit into its own bullet point, don’t worry-). When Riddle tries hanging out with you for the first time, he really sees how quiet you are. It even gets to the point he forgot you were there until ADeuce decided to start a competition over something completely dumb and dragged you into the mix. He saved you, don’t worry. Someone’s gotta have a tight grip on these boys

After that accident occurred, Riddle couldn’t help but notice how often you suppressed your own feelings in favor of the others around you, no matter how much you didn’t agree with it. He had to think about how to approach that whole separate issue without coming off arrogant because he knows you’re just trying to enjoy the moment, but you’re too caught up in worrying about everyone else you forget to enjoy it too. He doesn’t get a chance to talk about this with you before your burnout hits you full force, but he did manage to snag a conversation between Trey and Cater about it so he wasn’t totally off the rails (and he was right according to that duo, you needed help ASAP!)

Eventually, your burnout hits. And when I say hard, I mean even Rook Hunt, notorious for finding anything to be prey, couldn’t find you on his first sweep of the entire campus grounds. On top of that, Idia, despite having cameras in the weirdest and oddest of spots, couldn’t see you from his cameras. Being worried would be an understatement for Riddle, he’s trying to not completely panic while you’re missing. It’s when he finally decides to search his rose maze that he finds you curled up into a ball on the ground next to a pavilion crying your eyes out. He sits there and tries to figure out how to comfort you (let’s be honest, this boy is more emotionally constipated than you homie), but he eventually settles on stories from when he was younger and was still allowed to speak Trey and Chenya. He eventually stops because his mother finds out and no longer wishes to upset you further (though we both know what happened that fateful day). He honestly thanks you for your deed from so long ago, apologizing that he should have done it sooner than begging apologies with you back then. Riddle offers you a hand and you inevitably take it, he’s guiding your back to his dorm while texting the group chat with the other House Wardens that you’re okay, but you definitely need space for now and a serious talk with everyone is long overdue

Loves that you’re already choosing to study in your free time as you should when you try to become a productive member of society, but is also (not so) secretly curious of your other hobbies. I’d like to think he’s just completely baffled at the concept of anime, but likes that it’s not just some cartoons his mother initially made him believe they were. On top of that, baking? You’ve made a perfectionist become less perfection and more creation in the kitchen baking together, though the others mustn’t see him in such a lovesick state of mind (a bit late since they saw it a long time ago, but this isn’t new for anyone)

When you start gifting him homemade jewelry out of nowhere, he thinks it’s a ploy to get him to do something for you, you’ll have to explain you like making these sorts of gifts for him. Once he understands it, he will now proudly wear and show off his jewelry that you’ve made any time and chance he gets. Riddle’s even got certain sets of jewelry he wears for special occasions now with how much he’s hoarded and made certain that no one made off with his precious jewels you so graciously gifted him

Finds himself completely flustered out of nowhere when you first accidentally compliment him, has to ask you to clarify that you actually meant it. When you’re outright confused at first then turned embarrassing shades of red, he gets the hint. More so when you cover your face with your hands and whine your apologies. It’s awkward the rest of the day between you two unless Cater does something about it, though in all honestly, he’s probably the one to make jokes at your expenses instead of doing the emotional breakdown for the two of you, especially if you’re in a relationship. He’s trying to get you guys to sort your problems out without his magnificent help after all

All in all, Riddle’s so appreciative of this relationship you guys built together. He’s working on finding himself through some of your interests that aren’t necessarily beneficial all the time (if he hasn’t found a loophole in everything at some point I’ll be surprised). He just feels so free with you, but he still gets to keep the things that help him stay grounded like some of the many rules he used to live by. While he’s managing his anger, he’s also being the best partner you could manage with all the quality time being his favorite love language. He just so enamored by you and your captivating charms, why would he resist someone who really loves him?

===================

And the follow ups are:

Ruggie

And

Epel Felmier

——————————

That’s all folks! Until next time!

~Fox

#twisted wonderland #twst #twisted wonderland matchups #twisted wonderland riddle rosehearts #twisted wonderland riddle #twst riddle #riddle rosehearts #riddle #rosehearts #twisted wonderland ruggie #twst ruggie #ruggie #twisted wonderland epel felmier #twisted wonderland epel #twst epel #epel felmier #epel #felmier

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briarsheart · 2 years ago

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Meet The Characters:

fanfic: Arms Tonite

fandom: Stranger Things

pairing(s): Steve Harrington x Fem!OC Eddie Munson x Male!OC

authors note: When reading this please, please don’t hesitate to give feedback!! These characters are far from done when it comes to development and just overall creation!!! If you have any little quirks that you think would fit or any fun story lines you think I should add, let me know!!!

Natalie Dixon is a junior at Hawkins High school and a close friend of two time senior, Eddie Munson. She’s long since been known for her loud mouth and ‘devil-may-care’ attitude, but after the events of November of 1983, the frigid wall she’d built around her heart seems to be melting. And Steve Harrington is no help when it comes to keeping up her tough girl persona.

Her father, RJ Dixon, is a known felon. Wanted for various misdemeanors and larger crimes such as drug trafficking around the nation. Spending more time in prison than in Natalies life, she found a father figure in Wayne Munson, her mother’s sort-of boyfriend. Katie Dixon tried her best to be there for her daughter, but between picking up extra shifts at the local diner and working nights as a dancer in one of Indianapolis’ various dive bars, her parenting duties have been put on the back burner. Natalie has long since resorted to raising herself and keeping the people around her (save Eddie and Wayne Munson) at arms length. But again, Steve Harrington and his newly acquired nice guy charm, have been making it extremely difficult for her to do so.

Quote(s):

“Men are never right. That’s why women were created, to think for you assholes.”

“I am so not high enough for this conversation, Steve.”

“Just-I think I might-... I just want you to stay, okay?”

Theme song(s):

The Only Heart Breaker by Mitski

O.D.D. by Hey Violet

Fluorescent Adolescent by the Arctic Monkeys

Matilda by Harry Styles

Jeremy Mayfield went from being sort-of openly gay in California, to being completely closeted when he moves to Hawkins. Transferring during your senior year is never ideal, but in Jeremy’s case it’s even worse considering he has his shitty step-father and his even shitter step-brother to deal with. Although, his younger sister Max, who could be argued to be his only friend, makes it slightly more bearable.

Only when Max gets mixed up in the drama of the Upside Down, Jeremy has no other option but to stay by her side in order to keep her safe. But in doing so he finds a friend in Natalie Dixon, Hawkins’ resident burnout, who just so happens to be the best friend — maybe girlfriend? — of the hottest man Jason has ever laid eyes on; Eddie Munson.

Quote(s):

“Okay, so this is the part in the horror movie where the audience starts screaming ‘no don’t do that’.”

“I wonder if my life will ever be normal again.”

“How do you know if a guy you’ve been hanging out with likes you?”

Theme song(s):

Family Line by Conan Gray

Achilles Come Down by Gang of Youths

Downhill by Lincoln

Jordan Gomez, former lab experiment gone-horribly-wrong, has been on the run since escaping Hawkins National Laboratory in the early summer of 1978. From the cops, from the ‘bad men’, from literal ghosts. You name it, it was probably chasing her and she was definitely running from it.

It’s only when her past comes barreling back into her life in the form of a telekinetic teenage girl, that she decides it’s finally time to stop running. However, upon returning to the town where she died — literally — she’s faced with more ghosts than she can handle. And not just the physical variety that she’s become acquainted with. Except, unlike the times before where she’d fled the scene faster than a speeding ticket, this time she has something she’s willing to fight for; a family.

Quote(s):

“I hate to break it to you, but talking to dead people isn’t exactly an effective offense.”

“I would rather slam my tongue in a car door everyday for the rest of my life, than ever have to converse with Mike again.”

“You know, I always wanted an older sister to terrorize.”

“It seems you people respond best to displays of violence.”

Theme song(s):

Rat by Penelope Scott

Dog Days Are Over by Florence + The Machine

Running Up That Hill (A Deal With God) by Kate Bush

Cigarette Daydreams by Cage The Elephant

From the moment Eddie Munson watched Natalie Dixon punch a boy in the face for staring at her ass, he knew that she was going to be his best friend. From learning how to play D&D, to starting a band and preforming at the middle school talent show. They did everything together. It got to the point where their peers started assuming they were dating; the freaks flocking together. It made sense, but the rumors were far from true. Other than a singular kiss during his freshman year, which resulted in the conclusion that Eddie did not like girls, their relationship was strictly platonic — Atleast they knew it was.

To hide Eddies inherent queerness from the population of Hawkins, the friends simply leaned into the dating rumors. Strategic hand holding in the hallways, the occasional hug as they parted ways. Considering that Eddie was putting off dating until after he escaped their dead-end town, their plan couldn’t fail... At least that was until Jason Mayfield moved to Hawkins.

Quote(s):

“I mean, I can't blame you, King Steve does have magnificent hair. Just don't you dare go dark-side on me for him, Nat.”

“Man, you gotta stop saying shit that makes me wanna kiss you.”

Theme song(s):

Line Without A Hook by Ricky Montgomery

18 by Anarbor

Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy by Queen

Steve Harrington had always assumed that Natalie Dixon was exactly what people had said she was; a burnout freak destined for prison or a career in stripping — just like her parents. Up until November of 1983, he’d never even bothered to look at her twice. It wasn’t until he’d barged back into the Byers residence in an attempt to save the love of his life, that his opinion on her finally changed. That he finally saw her.

She stood tall, weaponless before the demogorgon, in an attempt to protect Nancy and Jonathan. Selfless. It was the first word he’d learned to describe the new version of Natalie he’d acquainted himself with. Stupid, was another. It was downright idiotic to go against an inter dimensional monster without anything to protect yourself, and he didn’t shy away from telling her so. But, even after the dust had settled and their Mitch-matched monster hunting group was dispersed and disbanded, he found himself needing to know more; to find more words to describe Natalie Dixon. And he was determined to do just that, no matter how much she tried to push him away, he was going to know her.

Quote(s):

“You’re an idiot, you know that? You could’ve gotten yourself killed!”

“No-no, okay? Nat is so not my type. She’s eighteen and she still plays your little fantasy game. She’s a nerd. And she smokes. I don’t like how much she smokes. And her dads like a felon, okay? I don’t need to get mixed up in that shit. Besides, I’m like 90% sure she’s dating that freak, Eddie Munson.”

“We make a pretty good team, Dixon...”

Theme song(s):

Disaster by Conan Gray

Love of My Life by Harry Styles

Gold Rush by Taylor Swift

Katie Dixon, formerly Katie Wilson, fell down the same path that all high school prom queens eventually do. At the ripe age of seventeen she, inevitably, fell for the ‘bad boy’ of Hawkins High School. And just like every other love story, it all ended with a faulty condom. In the spring of her senior year, Katie Wilson discovered she was pregnant with none other than RJ Dixon’s baby. Caught up in the moment, the couple married a month before their daughters birth (against Katie’s older sister, Karen’s, wishes).

Just like he was always destined too, RJ left only a year after their daughters birth. Without the help of her parents, who’d disowned her the moment she’d decided against having an abortion, she turned to her older sister, Karen. The mother-daughter duo lived with the Wheelers for nearly a year before Katie had been able to save up enough for a small trailer in Forest Hills Trailer Park. It was than that she rekindled her high school friendship with Wayne Munson who, conveniently enough, owned a trailer just across from her own. But even after years of flirting and practically taking in Wayne’s nephew, Eddie, as her own, Katie Dixon would always be hung up on her daughters father.

Quote(s):

“For a woman, life is a battle, and beauty is a goddamn machine gun.”

“Sweetie, I’ve seen the way that boy looks at you. Like you hung the goddamn moon.”

theme song(s):

Nothing New by Taylor Swift

Easy on Me by Adele

The Lucky One by Taylor Swift

RJ Dixon didn’t know how not to be a fuck up. Being raised by a deadbeat father of his own drastically effected his ability to parent. So, instead of sticking around and hurting either Natalie or Katie, like he knew he inevitably would, he left in hopes of sparing them the pain that his own father had caused for him and his mother.

They say, old habits die hard, and in RJ’s case, they most certainly do. Still involved with the same gang his father once led and still hooked on the same drugs he’d spent his high schools years wallowing in, RJ hadn’t changed a single bit. He wasn’t capable of it. His life was like clockwork: carry out tasks for his gang, get caught, go to prison, land right back in Katie Dixon’s trailer swearing that he’d “be better this time” only to flee within the month. But what he’d never tell a soul, was that the times he spent with his daughter (even if, recently, they’d been spent with her hating him) were some of the brightest times in his life. And maybe, just maybe, Natalie was the reason he kept getting himself thrown in prison, just so he could spend his parole being a part of her life.

Quote(s):

“Listen, I know, I was gone for awhile but I’m here now!”

“This Harrington kid... is he treatin’ you right?”

Theme song(s):

Mockingbird by Eminem

#stranger things fanfiction #multiple pairings #gay eddie munson #cameron monaghan #sophie thatcher #skeet ulrich #steve harrington x fem!reader #wattpad #original character #meet my ocs

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khadij-al-kubra · 4 years ago

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Worst Impressions are the First (ch 7)

Main Characters: Logan, Patton, Roman, Virgil (Human AU)

Pairings: Romantic LAMP

Word Count: 5036

AO3

<=PREV

NEXT=>

Author’s (longer than usual but it’s for good reason) Note: *The Apocalypse—2020. Zoom in on a plague rat turned writer. She has survived thesis projects, getting a Master’s degree, burnout, writing and illustrating a children’s book, being a slave for the U.S. census bureau, months of overthinking anxiety spirals, and one or two incidents involving an asshole skunk. But now, battle weary yet unwavering in her love of art and love for her loyal readers, this onesie-clad tea slurping book dragon....has finally arisen from the ashes*

I LIVE BITCHES!!!!!!! And I am SO SORRY for taking so long!!! I’ve been hard at work, been editing like a mad woman, and I even have a beta now! The gorgeous and talented @humbletortoise So I am OFFICIALLY off hiatus!!! *cue confetti canon*

Also, one of the biggest reasons I’ve taken so long to update is because I’ve spent the past month or so essentially retconning the fuck outta this fic. I realized looking back at earlier chapters in this story that, although I was proud of them at the time and greatly appreciate the positive reactions, they were...not my best work. (shitty first drafts if I’m being honest) That’s because, at the time, I was trying to split my attention between writing this fic and working on grad school stuff, which resulted in my writing for this not being as best of quality as it could have been upon first posting. This story deserves my best, and so do all of you. So now I hope to give you that.

I encourage you to go back and re-read the previous chapters up till now (trust me, they’re near unrecognizable to the first drafts, but in the best way). Or if you don’t feel like doing that, you can just continue on from here. totally cool. For the sake of convenience and my own sanity, I’ll attach the AO3 Link to this fic from the start. I may also start just posting chapter updates on tumblr but only have the link to the chapter and add my reader tags. Again, for the sake of my sanity because Tumblr is a bastard when it comes to posting fics. (Also PLEASE let me know if there are any tagging issues if anyone’s on my tags list; yet another reason i’m considering just linking my fics in the future)

Anywho, without further ado, at LOOOOOONG last, here is the next chapter!

Chapter 7 - (POV Roman)

When Roman had offered to walk with Logan to class, it was only partly out of an innate sense of chivalry; a side of himself that he rarely got to show on account of being a socially awkward gay disaster. Though mainly, he saw it as a chance to get to know his second soulmate better.

He certainly hadn’t expected two long minutes of civil but silent walking. Well, as silent as a stroll through their school could be with its usual racket buzzing around them. With a vocabulary as big as the continents of Africa and Eurasia combined, you’d think Logan would be more of a conversationalist. Alas. He merely walked in step with Roman. They glanced over at each other every so often, but Logan stayed tight lipped and seemingly impassive; fiddling with his bumblebee hair pin every now and again. Damn. Looked like he was going to have to make the first move.

Roman was bad at this. How did people usually…Oh yeah, common interest. That’s a thing. He wracked his brain for some sort of ice breaker. One that’d make him look cool and calm or, something, in front of Logan. He was a fairly decent student though not quite mathletes level. He could compliment his outfit maybe? Was that too forward? Too shallow? Maybe he could find common ground? That was as good a place to start as any.

“So! So uhh…What kind of music do you like?” Roman asked. Yeah, that’s good. Everybody likes music.

Logan glanced at him. “Can you be more specific?”

Roman’s brow furrowed. “I mean, like, your favorite genre of music to listen to?”

“Classical,” said Logan in a clipped tone.

“That’s cool. I don’t really listen to classical myself.”

Logan only hummed, his face neutral. Roman was really hoping for more than that. A few awkward seconds passed, then Logan spoke up.

“Are you perhaps a fan of the classic Sherlock Holmes novels?” He inquired.

“Um, I haven’t gotten around to the books yet, actually,” Roman said, scratching his earlobe. “I mean, I’ve heard great things about them. And I’m a big fan of the Robert Downey Jr. movies.”

“Ah. I see.” Logan said, giving him the judgiest side eye.

Come on, Roman thought. Give me something to work with. “Oh! What about theater?”

“What a frustratingly vague inquiry.”

“Well, excuse me for trying to get to know my soulmate a little better.” Ay come jode, work with me here, man!

Logan sighed. “While I understand and appreciate your intention, I believe ‘getting to know someone’ as you put it, requires a certain level of specificity. Anything less indicates a somewhat shallow level of sincere interest, and I greatly despise shallow conversation. That said, if you’re inquiring as to whether or not I enjoy theater, no. I don’t understand the concept of professional make believe, though I appreciate it as an art form. I assume you’re a fan?”

Is he seriously implying I’m shallow? Roman groused, pushing his red frames up the bridge of his nose. Ugh, forget it Roman. He’s throwing you a bone here. Take it.

“Obviously,” said Roman, gesturing dramatically. “I mean I’m no actor—Eesh. No. Yikes—but everything about the artform enthralls me. And I like all kinds of genres and eras of plays, from Shakespear to Ruhl, but musicals are by far my favorite, because like, there’s so much you can do with them design wise. I mean just look at how groundbreaking Hamilton was.”

For a second, Logan’s face actually softened, his eyes lighting up. But just as Roman thought they were finally about to make some progress, his stony companion was back to wearing that platinum puss.

“Ah. How… original.”

Roman blinked. “Are you saying my tastes are basic?”

“Well, yes.”

Augh! Okay. Yep. I don’t like him. Patton was going to be so disappointed, and Roman was too. He’d wanted so badly to get along with all his soulmates, but Logan was a snob! Way less intimidating than Virgil and his ilk, but still a jerk. I wonder if soulmarks can make typos or something? Thank the stars they’d already arrived.

Roman and Logan filed in with the rest of the class for seventh period. Somebody had the liberty of opening a window– the AC was still busted in this classroom– so for once there was actually a decent breeze cutting through the usual mucky Florida humidity. Still smelled like it would probably rain later. Good thing Roman had packed an umbrella just in case, Mom’s orders. His hair looked too good today to be wrecked by frizz.

Roman took a seat at his desk, running distracted fingers over the carved letters in the wood while he mulled over his predicament. Just look at him over there, thought Roman as he glared at Logan, not two rows away from him. Sitting with his hands clasped on the desk all smug—of course he’d be near the front—and with such disturbingly good posture. What is he, a robot? Who is he to call my interests basic, the NERVE! And okay, sure, like Hamilton, sometimes I get over excited and shoot off at the mouth. But great Zeus, does that guy show passion for ANYTHING besides academics? Roman blew a raspberry, plopping his head in his hands.

He always thought soulmates were supposed to get along, even as just friends for life. Balancing each other out, bringing out the best in you and forming a deep connection—that was the whole point. He sighed to himself. Cymbals clashed less than he and Logan did.

He was stirred from his brooding by the bell. Apparently Mr. ‘Call-me-Terrence’ Williams had materialized without him noticing. Okay fine, he should probably pay more attention, but he was having a crisis here.

“Afternoon everyone,” Terrence greeted in that measured, upbeat tone of his.

He draped his navy blue blazer over the back of his desk chair and rolled his shirt sleeves to the elbows. Roman pitied the poor guy; he had to teach sauna of a classroom all day. He could see the glisten of sweat on his teacher's smooth forehead as he wrote things on the board. Yet he still kept a pleasant attitude towards his students.

“Alright class!” Terrence started, “Today we’re covering the next section on the American Revolution. Specifically, the Battle of Yorktown...”

Roman mentally punched the air. My time has come. He opened his textbook to the right page but didn’t bother looking at it. He already knew most everything about Yorktown. Not just because he’d listened to the Hamilton soundtrack fifteen and a half million times, but also because he’d done actual research on the event and time period that the musical took place; There was always the off chance he’d get to stage crew or, heck, even dramaturg the show. He liked to be prepared.

“So the battle of Yorktown took place in 1781, but a great deal of its success was thanks to the French Allies. Many especially aided in fighting the British Troops surrounding New York. Now who can tell me where the French Soldiers first landed?”

Roman half raised his hand. He was pretty sure he knew the answer.

“Logan.” Terrence called.

Roman turned to Logan desk, where his hand was held high and mighty.

“The French Ally ships first landed in Rhode Island, then made their way to Chesapeake Bay,” said Logan, adjusting his glasses. Not even a hint of second guessing in his voice.

“That’s right!”

He almost missed the quick smirk on Logan’s frustratingly pretty face. Look at that smug—thinks he’s so smart...Okay yes, he is smart, but he doesn’t have to be a show off about it. Terrence continued through the passages, calling on a student every now and again to review. Of course, Logan got called on most and he got every answer right. Roman didn’t feel like raising his hand anymore.

“Of course there were many turning points in the revolution, but Hamilton’s return to the field for Yorktown was a key point.” Terrence continued on. “And keep in mind- this was a man who up till now had never been in a position of command before. Not to mention the mental strains he must’ve been under, especially having had to miss the birth of his son Philip, the first of three children he had.”

Wait a sec. “Well, that’s not right.”

Even though he’d muttered, apparently Mr. Terrence still heard him. “Come again, Roman?”

Shoot. “Um, I said,” Stop sounding timid, you know you’re right. “I said that was, um, wrong.”

The whole class turned to him. Oh great, history class has its eyes on me. Roman cleared his throat and tried to look taller.

“What I mean is: Hamilton had eight kids, not three. And on top of that, Phillip was born a few months after they won the Revolution, not during, so Hamilton didn’t miss the birth of his son. I mean sure, it’s a small thing, but the devil’s in the details as they say. Heh.”

Terrence gave the most insultingly bemused look. And Roman definitely heard a few kids snickering behind him. He glanced quickly at the culprits and felt his ears go hot. This is what he got for putting himself in the spotlight.

“Roman, I applaud you for participating in the class discussion,” Their teacher started gently, “but I’m afraid you’re wrong on this one. If you read your textbook close you’d see in the fifth paragraph where it mentions from one of his later letters—“

“Actually Mr. Williams, if I may, Roman is correct.”

Roman saw Logan at his desk, one hand raised while the other adjusted his neck scarf. Was the teacher’s pet actually… backing him up?

“It is a common misconception that Alexander Hamilton only had two children, even more so modernly, what with the musical having only named two of them. However Roman has clearly done his research on the plays historical accuracies, which is more than I can say for some.”

Logan shot a cool but scathing look at their recently snickering classmates and they withered. Roman fought the urge to point and laugh aloud. He did however stick his tongue out real quick. What? He could be shy and petty at the same time.

“My guess,” Logan continued, “is that this textbook edition is also either misprinted or outdated, judging by the publication date in the copyright section.”

Brows furrowed, Terrence looked at the textbook laid open on his desk. He flipped back to the front, before pulling out his cellphone—“I’m the teacher, I’m allowed to do this. You guys aren’t.”—and after what Roman guessed was a quick Google search, their teacher looked up. His eyebrows drawn in a ‘hm, well damn’ expression.

“Looks like you’re right, Roman. And thank you Logan for bringing to my attention about the textbooks. I’ll have to talk to the principal about hopefully getting some updated materials. But we’ll see how that goes,” Terrence, muttered the last part, though Roman was close enough to catch it. Terrence cleared his throat and moved back to the board. “Maybe if we call on assistance from the inside. Much like how the Sons of Liberty sent in Hercules Mulligan to spy on the British...”

“Perhaps if we knew of an immigrant who was unafraid to step in,” Logan said just under his breath.

No one else seemed to notice the reference, but when Roman did, he felt like a mini volcano about to burst rainbow lava. Apparently there was a lot more to his soulmate than first meets the eye; and now that he knew, Roman was determined to see more of it. The rest of class passed quickly and everyone filed out to the halls as the first bell for the last class period of the day rang. Roman made sure to catch up to Logan on the way out and staccato tapped him on the shoulder.

“Hey, Logan?” He said.

When Logan turned, he swore time slowed down for a moment. The brilliant boy’s skirt flared around his waist, and somehow his skin glowed even under the dull, inconsistent school lights. His posture was erect yet natural, he could have been raised among nobility. Amidst the stench and clamor of loud sweaty students, Logan was as poised and striking as the goddess Athena. Oh...

“Yes, Roman?” Logan asked.

Roman gulped. “I uh, just wanted to thank you for backing me up in there.”

“Thanks are unnecessary,” Logan said. “I detest when someone is shamed by other students for speaking up in class, regardless of whether or not they have the correct information.”

“Well regardless, thanks for coming to my aid in the face of academic danger.”

“Dramatic, but my pleas—oof!”

A hurried passerby bumped into Logan from behind, rushing off with a half-assed ‘sorry’. Logan, caught off guard, stumbled right into Roman’s arms. The two looked at each other, cheeks filling with heat. Roman caught a whiff of something faintly floral on Logan, something natural– a lavender and honeysuckle perfume, perhaps. It was heavenly. They were still in the middle of foot traffic though, so he maneuvered them to the side. Which was tricky since Logan was still so close to him and also a good two inches taller with the heels.

“Well,” Roman flashed his pearly whites. “Seems you’ve fallen for me.”

Logan pulled away, but his lips quirked upwards in a teasing smirk. “Oh please, I merely stumbled into you.”

“Ah, but stumbling is the first step towards being swept off your feet.”

“Bold words from an abashedly charming homunculus in such an… eye catching ensemble.”

Did he call me charming!? He composed himself, “Hey, don’t let the sweater vest fool you. I may be short but I’ve got guns.”

“Aaah. But mind over muscle, as they say. Do you find yourself up to the task?”

“Only if it’s you, my brainy blossom.”

Roman’s class was in the other direction, but Logan didn’t need to know that. They walked through the halls, conversing. class was still in the next ten or so minutes, but Roman was having fun. Banter with Logan felt surprisingly easy. Natural like they’d been at it all their lives.

“By the way, was that a ‘Guns n’ Ships’ reference I overheard, pastel poindexter?” Roman asked.

Logan cleared his throat. “It… may have been, yes. I found myself unable to resist toppling the figurative dominos.”

“In other words, you seized the opportunity you saw,” Roman said, matching his own reference to the source’s cadence, which got a chuckle out of Logan.

“Precisely. Under more casual circumstances, I may have even recited Lafayette’s part.”

“You can rap? You can rap Guns n’ Ships? Like, the whole thing, no tongue twists?”

Logan stopped for a moment, turned to Roman. The taller boy cleared his throat, and after a moment wherein he seemed to mentally restrain himself, he simply adjusted his glasses. “I have an appreciation for poetry.”

Roman blinked rapidly. Holy shit, he’s an even bigger nerd than I am. He definitely needed to see that at some point.

They turned a corner, stopping just outside of the science room. Some students were going in to take their seats, and the teacher was already making notes on the board. Logan pulled an AP Physics book from his backpack, but made no move to leave, much to Roman’s delight.

“So then,” Roman leaned against the eggshell wall, “How come you acted so indifferent earlier and called my tastes basic? Oh, and I think I remember you also implied I was shallow?”

Okay, yeah, he was still kind of salty about that. But then he saw the shamed look on the nerd’s face, and Roman wished he could have taken it back. Logan looked at his shoes then back at him.

“To be candid I was… hesitant to show the full extent of my enthusiasm. In case you thought I’d be—I believe ‘being the most’ is the term— it wouldn’t be the first time I’ve caused someone to lose interest in conversing with me due to informational overload. I nearly bored my Aunt Patricia to sleep once talking about a fascinating article on jellyfish. And considering how I blundered our initial meeting—“

“Pfft, ya think?” He mentally slapped himself again when Logan went tight-lipped and turned to go. “No, no, wait. I—I’m sorry. Truly. ...Truth is, I was no gentleman either. I’m not always great at thinking before I speak. It’s why I’m so awkward around people. Takes a while for my true charming nature to shine through.”

“Clearly. Still, you show a level of interpersonal aptitude that I, well, lack.” Logan fiddled with his hair pin again and a stray hair came loose. “Reading people and expressing emotions has never really been—It’s something I struggle with.”

Much as Logan tried to maintain his cool composed posturing, Roman could tell that this was something that really bothered him. He tried so hard to seem put together and confident and serious, but really he was just as awkward and insecure as anyone. Roman smiled softly and stepped closer to Logan, reaching up to tuck the loose ebony strand behind his ear.

“Hey, everyone’s got things about themselves they can work on. Including me,” Roman smiled. “And believe me when I say that I will never judge you for being passionate about something you like. So if you ever want someone to ramble about jellyfish or Sweeney Todd to or—I dunno, calculators or something?—I’m all ears.”

Logan’s cheeks went pink and he gave a hesitant yet sincere smile. “That’s...very kind of you, Roman. And coincidentally, I also greatly enjoy Sweeney Todd. The use of iambic pentameter and alliteration to give a succinct synopsis to the story in just the first sentence alone is pure brilliance.”

“Right!? I mean the man’s a mad genius. I’m dying to design sets for one of his musicals someday. Like last year? I came up with the concept of having the Sweeney Todd sets done in a way that highlights the class differences with the characters.” Roman went into a small three minute ramble regarding the specifics before he cut himself off abruptly. Logan was blinking rapidly, a look of mild shock crossing his feature. Roman nearly started sweating; Had he messed this up again?

“That… that’s ingenious”

Roman’s ears were burning. Ohmygosh!Ohmygosh!Ohmygosh!

“Hey, Logan!” They both startled and turned to an impatient cheerleader with a ginger undercut and they/them pronoun pin shaped like a coffin. “What’re you doing just standing out in the hall, ya dork? Oh, hey Roman.”

“Uh. Hey, October,” Roman said, waving awkwardly to them.

“I told ya, Red, you only get to call me that when we’re working on a show.”

“Wait, October? Red? You two know each other?” Logan asked, brow arching.

“Kind of. They sometimes help out with costumes for the drama club,” said Roman. And they have terrible timing. I mean seriously Tobes, we were having a moment.

“Come on Lo, class is about to start, and you promised to go over my homework with me real quick beforehand. See ya ‘round, Ro.” Toby grabbed Logan’s hand and pulled him into the classroom. “You can fill me in on what you were doing with Red later.”

Logan followed his—apparently—friend into their classroom, but he shot Roman an apologetic look over his shoulder. Roman bounced a bit on the balls of his feet before following halfway into the room. Logan was in his seat with Toby showing him an open notebook. A teacher in a tight grey hair bun was writing on the board. Students at their seats were chatting, and some looked up at the short dork in red who burst in. For once Roman ignored them, his mind set on one last attempt at wooing his green skirted genius while he still had the nerve.

“Hey, Logan,” he said. “I’ve also got some great layout designs for an Into the Woods set. If you’re interested, maybe we can meet up after school and I can show them to you? Maybe we talk a bit more over iced lattes or something?”

“Excuse me, Mr. Prince, seventh period starts in five minutes,” said the teacher. “Unless you’ve suddenly transferred to my class, I suggest you stop distracting my favorite student and get going.”

“I’ll be gone in just a second,” he said. “Well?”

Logan smoothed the silky fabric of his pink scarf and said, “That sounds optimal, Roman. I’ll meet with you. By the first floor water fountain perhaps?”

Roman grinned. “I shall be counting the minutes.”

“Mr. Prince,” said the teacher with a warning glare.

Roman blew a kiss at Logan and then ducked out of the doorway. Was he embarrassed of himself? Oh definitely. Did he regret it? Absolutely not. He felt ten inches tall.

Now to complete the quest of making it to class in time. He slid off a shoulder strap to unzip his classic Mickey backpack, getting out the notebook and the relevant homework. He found them amidst the mess of spiral notebooks, granola bar wrappers, two textbooks and rainbow sticky notes. But something was missing from his folder.

“Where are those– it should be here.” He could’ve sworn he had his stapled the blocking notes in his folder. No, wait, the last place he saw them was— “Ah shoot! I left them in the tech closet again.”

Under normal circumstances, Roman would’ve grabbed them after school, but the auditorium was locked on weekends. He’d have to wait till Monday to get them and that just wouldn't do! he wanted to show Logan his notes today! I’ll bet David Korins never has these kinds of problems. Okay, okay. Still got four minutes. He could rush to the auditorium, grab the notes, and then head straight to class. I should have enough time, right? Right. Besides it was only Spanish Class, he was already pretty fluent after all those summers visiting his grandparent in Nicaragua. He spent most of class time dreaming up blocking notes anyway.

Despite not being totally convinced by his own argument, Roman immediately turned on his heel and started running in the opposite direction. After a teacher told him no running in the halls, Roman power walked through the halls with a skip in his step and a song in his heart, feeling absolutely gay in both senses of the word. Logan had actually called his idea ingenious! And the way those sharp eyes softened just for him- he would squeal if not for the fact that it would draw too many eyes to him. The halls were still filled with a few stragglers rushing to the last class of the day, and he was already trying not to get caught being late for class.

Now he knew how Maria felt in West Side Story. Y’know, before Act 2. Oh sure, they’d gotten off to a shaky start, but as the Bard’s adage on the course of true love said; and Roman felt it in his gut that this was certainly the start of true love. Not just with brilliant Logan but also with soulful Patton as well. He didn’t know how an awkward geek like him ever got so lucky in the soulmate department…Then again, there was still the matter of Virgil. So maybe not so lucky.

Roman touched his arm, remembered flustered yet flattering purple words. I know they both said Virgil is secretly sweet and I can sympathize with the terrors of closet town, but COME ON! Virgil? Really? That gloomy gladiator? There had to be a mistake in that. After all, Patton liked to see the good in everyone. Logan was much more of a skeptic, but he does seem to have a blind spot with sarcasm. Maybe Virgil was messing with them somehow. Even if he’s not a jerk jock, the guy’s still kind of a creepazoid; with his dark eyes and cheeta-esq gait and those probably huge muscles hidden under that bulky jacket and big hands...

His gay disaster train of thought came to a merciful halt as he reached the auditorium. Roman pushed open the doors, took a pause to breathe in the quiet comfort of this chapel of the arts. Okay yeah, chapel was maybe a little kind for the school’s auditorium which doubled as the drama Club’s rehearsal space/prop closet backstage/Mx Joan’s unofficial office because the school didn’t fund the arts programs enough. Even so this space was Roman’s sanctuary. The place where he could help create magic from the shadows, bring stories of those gone and living to life. Here, Roman found something of a community with his fellow backstagers, glee club losers, and budding thespians (the nice ones). So he loved every squeaky stage plank, every duck taped seat cushion and every speck of dust that floated in the spot lit air like fairies.

Mx. Joan wasn’t around for once, thankfully. Probably in the teacher’s lounge or rendezvousing with the school nurse or something. They were pretty chill and Roman knew he was their favorite student, but the choir director/drama club moderator/music teacher (this school really needs to fix its funding habits) wouldn’t have been too keen on Roman being deliberately late for class.

Roman walked down the aisle and to the side room by the stage. It was originally a janitor’s closet, but their club moderator transformed it into a ‘Crew Only’ Storage Unit… Okay it was still a closet, but with less bleach and more coils. This was where they kept important equipment for semester shows, like the lighting and sound boards, along with other supplies. Roman made a quick mental note to get more gaffer tape later, seeing their supply was low.

He looked through the small pile of scribbled and highlighted sheets with the lighting cues for the spring show. I’ve really gotta get a binder for these…Ah-Ha! Here you are! Roman pulled out the stapled sheets titled ‘Into the Woods Dream Set’ and carefully shoved them into his bag. Perfect timing too. He might just be able to make it to class after—

RIIIIIIIIIIING

“GAH!”

What the heck? He could’ve sworn he was alone in there, but that yelp just now said otherwise. Up close, Roman saw that the curtains were rustling, accompanied by sounds of heavy breathing and moaning, yet not a footstep to be seen or heard.

Holy SHIT, this place IS haunted! I KNEW that backdrop fiasco last semester wasn’t caused by cheap slit plywood. My supplies are the best quality allowance money can buy. Great Macbeth’s bloody knife, I TOLD Kai we should've sprung for a ghost light! Remus always teased him for being superstitious but look who’s laughing now.

He dashed back into the crew closet and grabbed the heavy push broom leaning in the corner. Roman Prince was NOT about to be caught unawares and possessed by the ghost of a disgruntled student without a fight. He would defend his domain of imagination!

Roman slowly climbed the stage steps, wielding his broom like a bow staff, turned the curtain corner where the noises were coming from and was about to release a war cry on the—

“Virgil?”

Roman nearly dropped his weapon at the sight of Virgil Alighieri—star athlete, object of his fears and supposed soulmate—curled in on himself trembling and crying.

His jacket was pulled over his head like a hood, yet Roman could see the tear stained face peeking out from underneath. Virgil’s eyes were squeezed tight, making the dark circles he’d never noticed before more prominent. There was no denying the athlete had muscle but he was more lithe—thin enough for Roman to wonder if the guy ate enough. Virgil’s trembling could rival a chihuahua, shaky hands clutching his knees, and he was clearly in the midst of a bad panic attack.

Roman had built Virgil up in his mind as being like some odd combination of Hades and Ares. The strong silent wolf within his pack of jocks, a surging thunderstorm just waiting for the right nerd to come along and piss him off enough to strike down like the bolt of Zeus.

Someone to be afraid of.

But now? Seeing him in this state, all alone and whimpering like a wounded animal...it broke Roman’s heart.

He set the broom down gently and carefully crouched down in front of Virgil. “Virgil,” he said softly. “Virgil, can you hear me?”

Virgil let out a breathy sob but otherwise didn’t seem to register him. Just how long had he been sitting here like this?

Roman was at a loss for what to do. Sure he knew plenty of people with anxiety but never saw someone having an actual panic attack before. He did know that if he didn’t help the other calm down soon, Virgil was liable to pass out. He’d never wanted to hug someone so badly in his life. Roman tentatively reached out a hand but stopped. What if touching him makes it worse? What if I startle him so badly he actually has a heart attack!? Maybe I should get the nurse. But I can’t just leave him like this.

He caught sight of the colorful soulmarks written on Virgil’s arm. Saw his own harsh thoughts: ’Dios mio, he’s staring right at me—like he wants to punch my face!’

Roman took his shame and forged it into steel. I won’t abandon you...my soulmate.

Virgirl’s let out a hiccuped cry, and this gave Roman an idea. Something from back when he was a child. It was probably stupid and a long stretch, but it was all he could think of. He readjusted himself so that he was now sitting right next to Virgil, making sure not to startle him. Roman cleared his throat, then as softly as he could, he began to sing.

“Come stop your crying, it’ll be alright.

Just take my hand, hold it tight.”

Roman one and carefully gentled his hand over Virgil’s. After a moment, he felt a light squeeze, and that encouraged him to keep going.

“I will protect you from all around you.

I will be here, don’t you cry…”

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arcaneranger · 6 years ago

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Final Thoughts - 2018 Long Shows

It’s finally here! I’m so close to being done with 2018 (...mostly. We’ll get to it) that I can taste it, but in the meantime, this list is gonna be weird, because there will be things that were already on other lists since I revised my rules of what should be classified how. This post is specifically for any show that ended in 2018 and lasted longer than 13-ish episodes (including shows that aired a second season during the same year or within six months of finishing the previous one), which means that there’s about as much on it as a usual season of shows, but they all had more time to impress - or disappoint me. I’m doing a better job in recent seasons of getting to everything, but last year there were unfortunately things that I missed (I was burned out in the winter) and just have to leave aside for now because I can’t wait any longer for these lists.

Anyway! As usual, let’s start with what I skipped!

* The Seven Deadly Sins: Revival of the Commandments, The Disastrous Life of Saiki Kusuo S2, Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card, Garo: Vanishing Line, and Mr Tonegawa: Middle Management Blues because I haven’t seen their previous seasons or parent works. (Yes, even Cardcaptor Sakura. Y’all can shoot me later.)

* Hakyuu Hoshin Engi, Beatless, and Basilisk: The Ouka Ninja Scrolls because by the time I was rounding things up, I hadn’t heard a single positive thing about any of them.

Next comes what I dropped -

WORST OF THE YEAR: Steins;Gate 0 (4/10)

What a fucking mess this show was. Aside from a very noticeable downgrade in production talent from its predecessor, the plot meanders and flirts with maybe actually happening this time before just dropping out again, over and over, to the point where I was perfectly willing to drop it two episodes from the finish line because it was such an insult to fans of the original. (Also, continued disgusting mistreatment of the transgender character.)

Gundam Build Divers (4/10)

Taking the Build series from being a well-written kids show to an averagely-written kids show that hides itself in decent mech designs.

Katana Maidens (4/10)

I remember so little about this show, and granted that I did drop it after one episode almost nine months ago, but what I did remember was that it gave me strong KanColle vibes with laughably inconsistent animation and flat characters. Meh.

Darling in the FRANXX (5/10)

This should probably be lower on the list, but I got out of Darling while the getting was good, sixteen episodes in. I understand that future episodes of the show cemented it as crappy right-wing nonsense in addition to pushing worldbuilding out of its fortieth-story window, but the moment it lost me was much sooner, when the crazy yandere female lead was reduced, almost instantly, to Good Anime Waifu as a reward to the protagonist for going against his friends with his selfish motives.

Persona 5 the Animation (5/10)

In addition to not actually finishing in 2018, Persona 5 just did not give me a single reason to watch it when I’d already finished the source game, with middling-to-bad visuals (thanks to the switch from Production I.G. to A-1 Pictures, and not even the team that created the much better-looking Day Breakers OVA before the game was released in the U.S.) and phoned-in music, which is especially unacceptable in a Persona adaptation. Also, we all absolutely called that the studio couldn’t tell the story of the entire game in just 26 episodes.

Record of Grancrest War (6/10)

There’s people that like this one a lot, but I didn’t see much that interested me in the first two episodes. I’ve heard better things about the manga.

Golden Kamuy (6/10)

I had problems with the first half of Golden Kamuy that the second half simply didn’t fix, and it became difficult for me to keep watching - the show still interrupted almost every fight scene with a dick joke, but still wanted to maintain a serious and occasionally frightening tone - and those things simply don’t go together. It needed to either spend more time being funny, or keep its lowest-common-denominator humor out of the fights.

Next, I have two shows that are (potentially permanently) On Hold, simply because it’s time for me to move on and I don’t have the time or energy to marathon them when the Winter shows are starting to wrap up:

Kakuriyo: Bed & Breakfast for Spirits, because even though I initially dropped it, I’ve heard a lot of good things since and I want to eventually give it another shot.

Yowamushi Pedal Glory Line, because despite the fact that I still enjoyed the previous season, this one started right in the middle of my burnout and I only heard bad things about it. I’ll get to it eventually, but it’s a shame that this series has been on a clear trend downwards since its revival.

And finally, the stuff I finished!

The Ancient Magus’ Bride (6/10)

Keep in mind that this is here entirely on the merits of its aesthetic and its side characters - in the end, Ancient Magus’ Bride is a Beauty and the Beast story where the beast gets what he wants without learning to be less of a dick or even apologizing for his clearly wrong actions.

Major 2nd (7/10)

Always pleased to have even just Good sports shows around, and this one is a very effective reboot of a classic series that’s never made its way stateside (man, the underperformance of Big Windup! really did a lot of damage to this genre in the West). With good character development and a decent second-generation premise, Major 2nd has the potential to be the beginning of a solid baseball story, assuming that it gets a needed followup.

IDOLiSH7 (7/10)

I dropped IDOLiSH7 when it first aired, and though I wound up enjoying it after I was very strongly urged to revisit it, the problems it started with never quite left it behind - that is, it has an okay cast of characters but doesn’t present even passable performance sequences, and if you’re going to include big song-and-dance numbers, they have to be good, or you may as well just be UtaPri.

ClassicaLoid Season 2 (8/10)

In 2017, I gave the first season of ClassicaLoid a near-perfect 9/10, and while this season gives us a satisfying conclusion to the story, it does things both a little better than the first, and also not quite as great. It’s story is much more well-integrated over the runtime so it doesn’t happen all at once in a few chunks, and the jokes that work are still absolute genius, but there’s simply too much that doesn’t quite land correctly, and a little too much immature humor, for it to reach the same lofty Hall of Fame heights as the first season. Still, one of the most underrated shows I’ve ever seen.

My Hero Academia Season 3 (8/10)

God, Izuku in that onesie is too damn cute.

My problems with Hero Academia are frustratingly persistent - the show is at its best when the students are competing with other students, because outside of last season’s Stain (a villain whose motivation is specifically related to the world of MHA), the villains are just not at all compelling and they all seem a little too generic for their own good. I just want Horikoshi to be a little bit less predictable of an author and do a little less reading of the Standard Shounen Playbook. Luckily, when it works, it works magnificently.

March Comes in Like a Lion S2 (8/10)

March remains director/auteur Akiyuki Shinbo’s most accessible work, and one of his masterpieces, as a well-paced and marvelously moody story of a depressed shogi prodigy learning to be a normal teenager before his youth completely passes him by, and the fantastic characters that surround him with their own complex problems and motivations. I just really, really hope it gets a third season eventually, because this one did not leave off on a satisfying conclusion.

Speaking of which...

Food Wars! Shokugeki no Soma S3 (9/10)

It’s almost a shame that My Hero Academia became hugely popular purely based on its accessibility to American audiences, because Food Wars pretty squarely deserves to be the reigning Shonen Jump king - each season has only improved on the previous one, and this one was based entirely on a continuing arc that could only have happened in the universe of this show, Fighting Food Fascism. That being said, it also leaves off right in the middle of the arc (because it had almost caught up to the manga), meaning that we have to hope that it can remain relevant long enough for there to be enough source material for another season. I’ll be crossing my fingers until they snap.

Banana Fish (9/10)

Yes, this has risen a point since my review, but Banana Fish still deserves to be thought of as both a complete masterwork of crime fiction, being fantastically paced and expertly plotted in the use of its many, many twists, and a work that disappointed the side of me that hoped that, in adapting it into the modern day, MAPPA could have managed to get the author to let them depict what is clearly a queer relationship with the authenticity and legitimacy that it deserved. It’s still amazing, though, and Amazon should be pushing it with their most lavishly-made originals. At least it was the last noitaminA show they’ll get to totally bury.

And, finally, the one you all saw coming.

BEST OF THE YEAR: Lupin the 3rd Part V (10/10)

Lupin is, quite simply, one of the pinnacles of the medium. A simple idea that can (and did) go in thousands of different directions, handled by highly creative writers and an animation staff that has been knocking it out of the park for years, despite the fact that it is criminally (heh) unrecognized in the West. To put it simply, there’s a very, very good reason that it’s been around since the 70′s.

Okay! All I have left to do is finish Dragon Pilot (waiting on a friend) and we can get the last two lists out of the way! We’re almost done...

#multi 2018 #arcaneanime #year end anime list #final thoughts #lupin the third #my hero academia #banana fish #food wars #the ancient magus bride #March Comes in Like a Lion #idolish7 #major 2nd

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wildflower8281 · 7 years ago

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Some of the Crazy Shit in #nunlife

I’m trying to understand why I’m feeling so moved to write (again!) about much of this and share it. I think the answer is 3-fold:

1.) To bring awareness to an institution that is little known and that does a few things well, but a buncha things not so greatly. Incase any friends, parents or girls considering religious life ever read this – I have been and am happy to be available to connect and share more. I’ve been doing this for years offline – just sharing the behind the scenes, so as to remove the idealistic view that this order portrays. People be free to make their own decisions, tho!

2.) For me, there is a release and a letting go that happens when I write and share it out. It’s like the energy of it all is no longer lingering in my body and mind. It’s on the laptop and it’s out in the world. While I’ve had lots of pieces of my transition on my tumblr for years and other #nunlife posts on fb before, for some reason I’m feeling moved to write this way and share now, so here I am!

3.) I think my #conventlife is also like a really good book. You can revisit it at various points in your life and see new things, take in new messages, read the nuances even further. It’s pretty fascinating to me, so I enjoy revisiting, looking at parts from new perspectives, and allowing new lessons and wisdoms to appear for me.

(Below, basketball games and birthday celebrations with some of our very favorite youth and families.)

In my last post, I shared a lot of what life in Spanish Harlem was like, as a missionary sister, living day to day. Pretty basic nun stuff, even if it was new to readers. Here I’m going to follow-up with some events during my 4 years in San Pablo that I have a love/hate relationship with. I love them because I’m pretty sure without them taking place, I may never have left (and leaving has been all things awesome, so!)….and I hate them because they were truly some of the most difficult, exhausting, dark years of my life on all levels. Looking back, I’m pretty confident it was the Universe going: “Here – you are getting the intensive course on burnout…Imma send you a legit crazy (1 definite, a few mas or menos) and make you literally in charge of everything…for 2+ years. Then, you’ll die, want to leave and get on with your life.”

I think like any people-pleaser, like anyone who can’t say no, like anyone who knows not their own voice – my story is no different, with the exception that I was wearing a bright blue habit and a veil. The rules were a little more dramatic – to say no, was saying no to God….and quitting was quite literally scandalous….but still, same structure. I think we all have our own levels of what drives us to our utter exhaustion and burnout. For me, it was a mentally ill sister and replacing another who left, with little support in either situation. This is not a complete piece about why I left – as ultimately the motivation was much more interior - but more a list of external events and circumstances that led to my utter collapse on all levels.

How To Get Girls to Leave Religious Life in 3 Easy Steps:

· Make them Superior. Firstly, being the “superior” of nuns older than you both in religious life and real life just felt uncomfortable. Dealing with the Pastor without having any mission experience was also highly uncomfortable, and it didn’t help that he was the most stoic priest ever and only spoke when necessary. It was annoying and scary at first. (After getting to know him over the years, however, that eased up & I learned he was like a really big-hearted Uncle, who had drank the Stoic Koolaid. It’s cool. I admire him for many things still to this day. He has actually since left the order, but is still a priest!) Being sent to Harlem as superior was like this: “Here, be in charge of all operations in this place you’ve never been to, and be in charge of these people who have been here longer than you.” It was just annoying and stressful!!! That’s what I got for being responsible & docile. Of course, I looked to the sisters who had been there longer for most of my answers in those first years. I knew how to be humble, yo! But still – I really didn’t enjoy being the Superior.. Training was joke – barely a week. It’s “the missionary adventure!” they said. “Trust the Holy Spirit!” they said! “Grace will provide!” they said! #Koolaid, I say, to help the cray go down easier.

· Send them a Crazy. My 2nd year there, the Provincial Superior decided to send me a “troubled” sister. Due to my “calm and peaceful nature” she thought I could handle this sister and would be a good superior for her and that I should really try to bond with her, so that she would trust me & get better, etc. This sister was notorious for her emotional outbursts & instability and for having been shipped from convent to convent, because of the trouble she caused....

Long, long story short-ish – she ended up having Borderline Personality Disorder, which we discovered during her stint in Harlem. (Before I go any further, please know I take mental illness very seriously. If there is any circumstance that made me realize it’s a very serious thing, it would be the one I am describing here. It’s no joke, it’s not her fault, but many versions of BPD do require intense programs to really get anywhere. I learned and read a shit-ton about it all, not to mention lived it on a daily basis in a very intimate way. I am in no way here blaming this sister for her antics, as clearly the #ssvm is to blame for not responsibly providing her the care she clearly needed.) She was officially diagnosed by a psychiatrist and it was recommended by him (note, a doctor who specialized in treating catholic religious….) that she be put into an intensive treatment program – like a 3-4 day a week program. It was also suggested that she go home to Argentina until she was well, or just for good. Well, the order carried out none of the recommendations of the doctors blaming money constraints and also because “the sick are our chalices” – a brainwashy line in our rulebook to make us think it’s virtuous and saintly to care for every member who is sick in any way, and never send them home. Keeping them with us and taking care of them is like making spiritual bank, basically. So, she stayed in our convent for 2+ years, basically causing unrest on a weekly and, often daily basis. Personally, it was emotionally exhausting for me, as I was the person closest to her & obliged always to care for her (the rest of the sisters basically avoided her and walked on egg-shells around her.) If you know anything about this mental illness, you know that it’s the people closest to them that they manipulate, abuse and have a love/hate relationship with. I think I went to more doctors appointments with her in those 2 years, than ever in my life – every specialist of every kind, there was always something. Basically anything to get my attention. Days when she would cry for hours on end, lock herself in the bathroom, bang her head against the wall, threaten suicide, be totally rebellious….and most of these situations, it was just me and her in the convent. Everyone else was out doing their things in the parish, but I was stuck at home, dealing with her. Despite that though, she found a way to piss off, provoke and drive all my sisters crazy. People with this mental illness are very emotionally savvy and know exactly what to say to provoke and push buttons. The sisters fell for it over and over again, until they finally learned & paid her no mind, which is what she could not stand. Same with me. This is how I learned to not engage. It’s been one of the wisest practices of my life & has saved me a lot of bullshit. The provincial superior, no matter how many things I shared with either of them (there were 2 during my 4 years in Harlem,) never did much to actually help me. It took my spiritual director (priest) to ask the provincial superior to remove this sister from our convent, for my sanity. Did I mention that I was sent with her to Argentina to visit a special doctor?! This was the last straw for me. I ended up cutting my part of the trip short, and flew home alone from Buenos Aires to New York, because she was absolutely nuts and if I stayed any longer, I was going to lose my mind. After that trip is when I asked Father to beg to have her removed from my care and from my convent. It was emotional and mental manipulation at its best by her, who was ill, and then to feel that my own superiors and order would not remove this situation from not only me, who also had anywhere from 3-5 other sisters to be present to, but would not remove the situation from our house, where it affected the peace and happiness of our convent community. I am positive it was this situation in particular that really began breaking my circuits. One at a time, the breakers were being flicked off. My brain had less and less mental energy to make decisions. I stopped caring about anything…

· Add Work, Remove Support. My 3rd year there (still with Sister Borderline), one of our mainstay sisters (the bitchy one) had not gotten laid yet, but had to go back to Argentina to help her mother. She ended up staying there for an entire year and no replacement was sent my way for her. I was asked to take over her parish duties, which was basically a full time job. She was the Director of Religious Education of our huge bilingual program – over 400 students, half on Saturday in Spanish, the rest on Sunday in English. It was a huge beast of a job (like in other parishes, is a regular paid FT job) that I was tasked with, with minimal help. The provincial house sent me 1 sister for a few hours a week to help me, but that was it. This job entailed not only weekend classes, but catechist formation classes (teaching adults how to teach and about the faith) and a ton of reception of the Sacraments, like coordinating hundreds of parents, sponsors and students for Baptisms, 1st Communions and Confirmations with the Bishop and all that insanity. I asked for another full time sister – someone who could really take over and was not given any more help than a few hours a week. Plus, I was still the provincial liturgist, having girls visit our convent, and doing all the things I originally had to do in the parish and as a superior. I was relieved of nothing, just tossed a full time job on top. So, at home I was being driven utterly insane (oh, and of course she was jealous that I was at the parish so much more, so of course she would have bouts of emergency illness, random piercing pains, etc, anything to get me to come back home and check her out, give her attention, make an emergency doctor visit, etc.) and at work, I was overloaded, but expected by Father and the parishoners to keep everything status quo. Not to mention the people of the parish obviously had no idea about the stressor of Sister Borderline and Father knew only minimal information and really didn’t care. He needed shit to get done in his parish and he didn’t care about an angry, whiney, emotional nun in the convent who didn’t work in his parish anyway. Nice set up, huh?

I mean – is it no wonder I left, I don’t like responsibility and I don’t like people?

Is it no wonder I can spot the red flags of people’s bullshit a mile away and be like #talktothehand. Peace.

Is it no wonder I aim to keep my lifestyle simple, free and lighthearted?

Is it no wonder I never want my work or job to become my life?

Is it no wonder that I go crazy when I see people who just don’t say no, and let people or organizations bulldoze over them?

Is it no wonder I never want to be in charge of shit, plan events or do someone else’s work?!

(Below, amazing youth at my farewell party...I was sent to the mission in Avondale, PA in July 2011 to be a regular sister and take a breather. This breather allowed me to realize and accept it was time for me to go home. Story for another day! Far right is now a NYPD!)

So, like I said at the beginning, it’s a love/hate relationship with these aforementioned circumstances. They totally sucked and at the same time, taught me so many lessons and infused me with loads of insight that I use daily. This is why the children, youth and families of Harlem are my absolute faves – in order to escape the stress and heaviness and utter out-of-controlness of my life, I would just go and hang with them. Laugh with them, eat and play with them. They helped ground me, allowed me to breathe and just always loved on me. And they still do to this day.

How interesting that my own religious family would not support me in these circumstances, and does not see me (or many of us who have left) as family even today? Yet the people of San Pablo always did and still do. I have real friendships with the people I met in Harlem, literally to this day. And when I go back to NY, I visit them. And yet, with the exception of 1 human, no one from the ive or the ssvm would consider me family today. #whoislivingthegospel? #irony

I’m not throwing shade….well, ok, maybe I am, ha! Sometimes, shade’s gotta be thrown, yo! #truth

#nunlife #formernun #exnun #catholic #catholiclife #lefttheconvent #spanishharlem #mentalillness #balance #family #conventlife #catholicnun #religioussister #nuns

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majornelson · 7 years ago

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#Xbox Live's Major Nelson

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dudence-blog · 7 years ago

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Dear Dudence for “30 October” 2017

There was SO MUCH stress and awesome from Game 5 of the World Series. It supplanted Game 2 as the Best Game Ever. Stress means Shiner. This is an on-going theme throughout the week.

My boyfriend’s sister “Clara” recently got divorced and moved into a fixer-upper with her kids. She has been working on it for a while but it has been a slow go. My boyfriend and I took a week of our vacation to come down and help her out. He worked on landscaping and fixing the porch while I painted and replaced tiles in the kitchen. I have extensive experience in home renovation since I worked for my uncle flipping houses in college. I worked on that kitchen every day—I was even able to update her cabinets cheaply with finds from a charity store. I also took long baths around 9 every night. I run and asked Clara if I could use the tub after the kids had gone to bed. I usually was aching after everything and liked to rewind with a book and a bath. She said it was OK. I did finish the kitchen before we left and Clara thanked me. I was pretty pleased with myself until Clara added me accidentally to the wrong group chat. She was texting her other sisters about what a horrid houseguest I was. I obviously was “raised in a barn” because who takes baths every night in a stranger’s house? How could I even ask that and do it every night!

Dear Baths, as satisfying as a passive-aggressive “I’m sorry I was trying to relax after a long day of laboring for you for free while improving your home,” may be, and I’m sure it would be very satisfying, I think being a bit more blunt is called for. You, yourself, describe it as a “punch in the gut” to see her feelings for you. Reply in the group text that you asked her if it was okay, she agreed, and you and your boyfriend, her brother, sacrificed your vacation time to help her out. If she didn’t like your behavior after you were done working the time and place to address it was while you were there and to your face, not in a catty group text to which you weren’t, presumably, to have been added. I would follow that up with a phone call to your boyfriend’s sister to let her know, in greater detail, how you intend to address the issue by not providing any free labor or creative energies for her in the future. Then wish her a great day and be the kindest and most polite person during the holidays.

My daughter has been friends with “Eve” since kindergarten, they are now in third grade. She adores her friend and wants to see her all the time. They play great together and have play dates once or twice a week—always at my house. Eve’s mom never invites my child over, and my daughter has been in their house all of five times. It didn’t bother me at first but now it feels like a thorn in my side.

Dear It’s Petty but I’m Fed Up, you can’t do much about whether Eve’s mother allows your daughter over to play. Her house, her rules. What you can do is control how much of a thorn in your side the constant imposition on your household for bearing the vast majority of the responsibility for being where Eve and your daughter play. You can do this because your house, your rules. The next time you’re being used for free daycare do what Nancy Reagan said and “Just Say ‘No’”. I’m going to assume since the girls met in school that they are still in school together and see one another throughout the day, so cutting out the playdates isn’t going to sever their only contact. If that’s not the case you might need to live with some thorn in your side, but even then you can reduce the frequency to a level you’re more comfortable with.

I am a Type-A personality, very competitive and goal-oriented. I took the hardest classes in school, received two degrees in college, and started working 80-hour weeks at 23 as a consultant—and loved my life. Now I am 36, successful, with a loving family and on track to make partner in the next year or two. My problem? I suddenly find myself waking up and not wanting to do anything. I guess you could call it burnout, but I am not unhappy, just ... lazy.

Dear Burnout, I’m going to need to confess to not having a lot of ability to provide useful advice to a hard-charging person seeking to make partner. I’d be more on the “you know what, look to chuck this lifestyle” bandwagon if you hadn’t written about how you spent your life challenging yourself, and loving it. Honestly, your desire to just not do anything and no longer finding joy in the things which you used to doesn’t sound “lazy” to me so much as “minorly depressed”. Before you go getting off your partner track or taking up an awesome cocaine habit to find your motivation, maybe you should consider checking in with a mental health professional and discussing with them your lack of motivation. Maybe you are just “burned out” and you just need to find a new source of motivation, but I think you owe it to your own well-being to see if it’s something more.

I recently began dating a wonderful man. Kind, supportive, shared values, the works. There is one issue that has been on my mind and it’s my financial situation. I’m a doctoral student with no income living as frugally as possible. I gave up a lucrative job to do this and would do it again. My boyfriend is well-off. He’s got a good career, loves what he does, and is generous when we go out. I find myself making unexpected comments about my situation and I feel bad now that I’ve made them because I don’t want him feeling like he has to provide.

Dear Brokey McBroke, talk with your boyfriend about your concerns. I get the feeling from your letter that you might be a bit uncomfortable with him shouldering as much of the financial burden of your relationship as he’s been. You can address this when you talk with him. So you should talk with him.

I work full-time and go to school part-time. My schedule is fixed and tight but I do my best to make my boyfriend a priority. He works full-time and lives 30 minutes away. More often than not, he drives to see me as I am busy and live in a college town with restaurants, theaters, and events in walking distance. My boyfriend lives in the suburbs where there isn’t even a sidewalk. We see each other twice during the week and on weekends but my frustration keeps mounting. We make plans for 7, and at 4 my boyfriend will randomly text me that he is already coming up and ask if he can see me. I get off work at 4 but still need to shop, go to the bank, do laundry, study, shower, or just decompress for an hour by watching TV alone.

Dear Free Time, the problem here is all in your head. Your boyfriend’s schedule allows him to get on the road early to come and see you on the days of your dates, he messages you to let you know he’s en route and available if you are, and if you’re not he goes and hangs out somewhere watching sports. Your boyfriend is preferring the opportunity to maybe see you an extra couple hours over doing nothing at his house for two hours, then hitting the road. Take Elsa’s advice and “Let it go”. You don’t need to see him if you’re not available, nothing in your letter says he’s intruding on your work, school, or errand time, and it seems that you both have settled into a schedule for your relationship that works.

My roommate no longer lives with me, in most senses of the word. She has slowly moved into her boyfriend’s house, and while she used to spend a reasonable amount of time at “home” in our apartment, the most she does now is come home during an off day to clean and do laundry, or pop by for a 30-minute stop-in for fresh clothes or a meal. Honestly, I have no problem with her not living here. I’d like to see her more, but it’s not a deal-breaker for me as long as she pays her bills. However, her cat does still live in the apartment. Therefore, I have been tasked with making sure she is fed and watered, has clean kitty litter, is played with, given attention, et cetera.

Dear One Cat, Two Cat, the problem with NuPru’s suggestion is the not-insignificant liklihood your roommate’s response to your ultimatum is “Fine, I’m moving out” thus leaving you with whatever gap in the rent, utilities, etc you have. And a second cat you didn’t want. Right now the cost for you living in a larger apartment for less than market rates is you’re a cat sitter. Think very hard just how much frustration your roommate’s cat is causing you before you go blowing up your living arrangement. That being said a pointed conversation about the future of your roomie’s cat is in order. You also might want to consider that a fix for two cats that don’t get along well is a third cat!

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