#púlsar fake dating au

[vsnotresponding]

@walkman-cat thanks for the ask! (answering on the writblr sideblog for housekeeping)

púlsar fake dating au my beloved ira and karma and níniam from the fake dating au you are everything to me

so ira and karma are the main characters from Púlsar. karma's demiace (not that he's aware) and ira's in both the ace and aro spectrum (not that she cares), and their whole relationship is basically like when you get a puppy to socialise a big cat while it's a cub and so they grow up together being bonded *points at karma and ira* that's them your honor

and in púlsar i can't go all in into their relationship and how it would evolve because Plot reasons (it's still a big part of the plot of course but they don't really have the words to describe it beyond this is my person no we are not in love)

also i thought it would be funny to have two ace characters do the fake dating trope there is no horny excuse you WILL face your feelings head on (and also i deserve a fake dating story with ace characters that explore relationships through ace (and aro) lens and because no one else will do it I'll have to do it myself to cater to my specific needs) PLUS níniam content. who would say no to nin content

here's an intro post I made a while back

and this is the tag where I talk about it (there are a couple of event explanations in there too. idk if I'll ever write it properly but it's fun to read)

here's them. and them again. here's a movie night sketch. more them (recent). and again

[vsnotresponding]

they are so silly <3

@my-cursed-prince

[vsnotresponding]

potato quality photos of awkward karma in the púlsar fake dating au also requested by @my-cursed-prince

don't be fooled karma has nice clothes because his mom bought them for him. also ira's shirt is karma's

also i forgor karma's glasses shhhh let us say it's because they got too ruined in the rain

[vsnotresponding]

I mean, how could I not?

"fake dating au goes brbrbrbrb"

ask's about this tag game

how could you not indeed, púlsar fake dating au my beloved <3

I've posted two parts already (plus an introduction to it) in here:

part 0: whomst part 1: how it all started part 2: ready to go

basically i brought my two Very Ace main characters from a fantasy story into a fake dating au romcom for the funz, as you do. thinking about this au makes me very happy because look at them! being happy! no angst just vibes! no thoughts head empty just brbrbrbrbrbr

i have two documents for it, the one where i just word vomit Thoughts, and the one where I make it all readable

here's what the unedited text looks like sometimes (it's me talking to myself half the time and butchering the english language the other half):

og verbal diarrhea

social engagements get him out of there please he hates it

karma needs a date because now that Son Of Rich And Important Man Is Taken he has become the next victim

both ira and karma are very ace btw <- me telling this to myself like i don't already know lmao

oh yeah karma's father is responsible for The Thing That Happened

brunch with mom aka ira gets adopted

(she does see him trying with karma and being wholesome with sahare so okay maybe he does deserve rights i guess still not a fan 7-7 hisses at you) (sher can't believe karma has had a full conversation while holding someone's hand like it's nothing HELLO????)

oh shit who's this bitch arguing ira kicks him out u know <- what even is this sentence

hopefully i'll get my shit together and post part 3 soon (which means definitely this year)

lil teaser:

[their first ever date and irl meeting. they were talking but karma got distracted by someone on the other side of the square they are standing in]

“Who’s that?” 

She’s pretty, sitting on a bench with a thermo next to her and a big thick white binder opened on her knees. Raí would say she’s wearing fashionable clothes, but Ira only notices her long hair and how much effort would be necessary to take care of it.

“Sahare," Karma says automatically. His panicked look a second after tells Ira everything she’d already got from the name. Oh, so the future sister in law. Well, at least Sher has good taste.

“Let’s go and say hi.”

“Wait—”

But she’s already gone, and Karma has no option but to trail behind her, quickly going over all they agreed upon about their non-existent relationship. Not that they have an actual relationship. Or do they? He doesn't think exchanging silly texts would count, but what would he know anyways. Although, he thinks as Sahare notices them, she might be interested in hearing about the thousands of cat pics he has on his phone now.

hi @my-cursed-prince you also asked about the fake dating au <3

[vsnotresponding]

6, 12, 14, 15 for Karma <3

i'm roughly two eons late to answering this, but i am here.

this is from the tech oc ask btw

all answers are from the fake dating au <3

6. Write out a text exchange between them and another OC.

I chose an exchange between Karma and Sahare because I love their relationship too much

names are how they have each other added (or more like it, how Sahare has Karma on her phone and how she changed her name in Karma's)

Karma 👑: Sahare I know you are busy but can I talk to you? best sister in law ever 💙: sure!!! best sister in law ever 💙: it'll do me good to distract myself from the wedding planning best sister in law ever 💙: if I have to look at another pair of identical cloth ever again it'll be too soon Karma 👑: so Karma 👑: you see Karma 👑: Ira's birthday is coming up Karma 👑:and I was thinking about gifting her some jewelry Karma 👑: but I'm not sure if she's a jewelry type of girl best sister in law ever 💙: I've seen her wear ear piercings but nothing else best sister in law ever 💙: maybe gift her new ones? Karma 👑: no impossible Karma 👑: she never takes them out Karma 👑: she has a matching set with her siblings best sister in law ever 💙: omg that's so wholesome 🥺 best sister in law ever 💙: idk, really best sister in law ever 💙: what did you have in mind Karma 👑: I was thinking of something like this [photo attached] best sister in law ever 💙: it goes with her eyes!!!! best sister in law ever 💙: I don't even know why are you asking for my help tbh best sister in law ever 💙: just make sure it's comfortable for her to wear Karma 👑: okay Karma 👑: how do I go about that? Karma 👑: saha? Karma 👑: sahare? best sister in law ever 💙: sorry! best sister in law ever 💙: your brother came to ask me something about the guest list best sister in law ever 💙: Ira's coming, right? Karma 👑: yeah best sister in law ever 💙: so, about the necklace. not too tight not too long, comfortable chain... you know, this things best sister in law ever 💙: *these best sister in law ever 💙: damnit Karma 👑: thanks Karma 👑: seriously best sister in law ever 💙: also! best sister in law ever 💙: your brother asks me to confirm if you're coming to dinner best sister in law ever 💙: he also tells me that "you" includes ira btw Karma 👑: yeah yeah Karma 👑: we might be a bit late because she has a late shift best sister in law ever 💙: no problem!!! best sister in law ever 💙: see you in a few days <3

12. Open the notes/note-taking app on their phone. What’s there?

I'm also answering for Níniam because it amuses me how invested he is on the fake dating

karma has a bunch of links to scientific papers and random notes about the articles he's writing. also a REMMEBER TO note which he often forgets to check. he also started writing down things about Ira to get inspiration for her bday gift (because he's a big dork)

níniam has stuff about his classes and ideas for his photography account. his favorite one is where he keeps track on how the fake dating is going. he has turned it into a full ass d&d campaign

14. You’ve just stumbled across their tumblr blog! Describe it.

karma has 0 social media presence, and the one he has is due to his friends forcing him to make an account (which remains empty until his phone gets stolen and they post for him)

his tumblr blog has 0 original posts just a bunch of reblogs of mythology lore and images, as well as rock nerd stuff. níniam made him change his pfp because he looked too much like a bot (he now has a crown). níniam was also the one that made him create a blog so he could see his posts the only non housekeeping tags he adds are when he comments on níniam's photography posts

15. Describe their computer. Is it a sticker covered laptop? A high-tech gaming computer?

he has a lightweight laptop he uses for his articles and research to take to places easily. pristine clean not a single scratch. he has another laptop for leisure stuff like YouTube and discord to videocall níniam and to play chill videogames

[vsnotresponding]

púlsar fake dating au ii - ready to go

tag // intro post // part 1

Right, so, dating. 

Luckily, Níniam was right and they do know each other. Not intentionally, mind you. Níniam just likes to talk about the people he loves, so they’ve both heard about each other’s lives.

Karma knows Ira would do anything for Níniam, that her work runs her ragged, that she’s sharp and prickly and doesn’t play nice to strangers. She’d rather hang out with stray cats than real people, and if she has to be around people, she’d rather argue with them than just talk. 

She scares him a bit, to be honest.

And Ira knows Karma, too. She knows of his work (Níniam has read her some of his articles in spite of her not understanding half the things argued in them), and of what he does for Níniam’s rock club. She knows he’s painfully shy, and a mess at times. And, most importantly, that he cares for Níniam like she does. In her modest opinion, that’s more than enough to categorize him as someone who’s okay to hang out with (and not be overly rude to).

So yeah, they are doing this.

After the initial shock of it all, Karma had some time to think, mind still reeling. Sure, meeting strangers (or as much of a stranger as Ira is) scares him, but she’s doing this for him (well, for Níniam). Doesn’t matter. He’s grateful, extremely so. He’s a stranger to her as much as she is to him, and he’s doing him a favor, so Karma resolves to be The Best Fake Boyfriend To Ever Walk The Earth. He has no idea how to accomplish that, he’s never dated anyone before, but he figures that talking to her without Níniam as an intermediary might be a good start.

So they text.

It’s at odd times, mostly when Ira has some minutes to spare at her job and volunteering work, but at least they do. Well, Karma tries and Ira takes pity on him, answering in kind and “please tell me you aren’t asking me questions you googled”. 

And then, one day, Karma opened their chat and just started ranting about the paper he had been writing for a week. He usually did that with Níniam, or Sahare if it was somewhat related to engineering, but the former was busy with finals, and the latter stressed with wedding prep. He apologized after he was done, two hours later, chat still unread.

It wasn’t until hours later when Ira got out of work and actually answered his messages. Like, asked questions and stuff and seemed interested, even if she didn’t fully get what his rant was about. After an afternoon of wallowing in self-pity, he almost cried at her response.

And then it all kinda just followed its own course from there. She started sending multiple photos of the stray cats that live near her work. Like, lots of photos. Daily. There’s a three-legged cat that’s in most of them, gray and all scrunched up. Ira calls him Kitty, even if the cat’s ancient, older than all their ages combined. Karma's gallery is now 93% cat photos, he's run the numbers.

He won’t complain about it.

There’s also serious texts, like, “hey what am i supposed to do exactly?” and “you mean party party or rich people party?” and “yes karma there’s a difference” and “srs all of this because two people are getting married” “and i thought the wedding and an engagement party was already too much wtf”.

Because, yeah, there’s lots of engagements Karma must go to. There’s the most casual parties, which Karma argued they didn’t actually need to go to, but Níniam made them. To sell the whole dating thing, he said. And then, well, the Actual Big Events, where they need to dress up and go to an outrageous expensive place to mingle with people Karma either doesn’t know or dislikes. And the wedding, of course, held at the beginning of June.

After that? It’s anybody’s guess, they’ll figure it out when they get there.

And then, there’s the video calls. Níniam informs them, more than suggests, what their ‘dating history’ is like. He introduced them, of course, and they just clicked. Karma didn’t tell his friends because he wasn’t sure if it was going to go anywhere, and once Ira made the first move (because let’s be honest, no one would believe Karma did), he figured out he’d wait until some party came up to introduce her. 

A reasonable story. Plausible. Karma’s not specially religious, but he prays every night his friends will believe it.

“So,” Níniam explains on a call Friday night, “we have most of it ready to go. There’s only one thing missing.” 

Karma looks at his friend through the screen. Níniam and Ira are on the sofa in their tiny living room, the ugly pink and green pillows next to them making his screen do weird things. Ira’s head is on her brother’s shoulder, her eyes closing until they open again when Níniam moves his arm to jolt her awake. She’d told him they’d had a little crisis at work today, and that she’d left work much later than what she should have. That’s why they are having a meeting at almost 1 am.

Ira yawns, and groans.

“More?”

“You guys need to, you know, actually meet in person.”

Oh right. Right. In between cat photos and nerd rants, he had forgotten. They are supposed to be dating.

Well shit, Karma hadn’t thought about that.

Ira and Níniam bicker back and forth, but Karma can’t hear a word they say. He’s never liked physical touch. Sure, he remembers cuddling with his mom when he was a kid, and he lets Níniam and Sahare hug him in greeting, but nothing past that.

The mere thought of holding her hand paralyzes him, and he can feel his neck and ears blush.

Oh gods, will they have to kiss?? He might pass out. Right now just because of thinking about it and on the spot if it happens. Oh shit.

“You are not suggesting we need to practice holding hands.”

“Actually, I am.”

Their voices bring him out of his stupor. He really hopes they can’t see how panicked he’s about the whole situation, a mute hope, by Níniam's knowing look. At least Ira isn’t even looking at the screen, just deadpan staring at her brother.

“You are kidding.”

“I don’t—I mean—I don’t think he is.” She turns to him with the same look in her face as she was looking at Níniam. “I’m not—I struggle with stuff like… that.”

A few seconds pass. Then:

“Oh you are serious.” She pinches her nose bridge. “Okay, yes. Right, shy and awkward.”

“I heard that.” He says, not very shyly but very very awkwardly. Ira smiles.

“I think I can manage to get out of work early tomorrow—”

“Tomorrow or tomorrow tomorrow?”

“I’m not having this conversation with you again, Níniam. It’s almost 2 am.” She does look miserable as he turns back to the screen. “Sunday morning works good for you?”

“Sure.”

“Then I’m fucking out. Night Karma,” she nods to him as she stands up. “Annoying little brother.” Ira messes up Níniam’s hair before leaving.

Karma waits until they can hear her bedroom door close.

“‘Tomorrow or tomorrow tomorrow?’ What’s that?” Karma whispers, even if Níniam plugged in his headphones as soon as Ira left.

“Yeah as in, she meant tomorrow as in Saturday, but it is already Saturday.”

“We still haven’t gone to bed, tho.”

“That’s her argument.” Níniam’s grin almost reaches his ears.

“It is a sound argument.” For some reason, he’s blushing again.

“Yeah, but it’s funny to annoy her as her younger brother, you know.” Now it’s Níniam who yawns. “I'd stay, but I think she stuck her sleepiness on me. Anyways, talk to you later.”

“Later as in tomorrow or tomorrow tomorrow?” His friend snorts.

“G’night Karma.”

“Night.”

He goes to sleep smiling.

[vsnotresponding]

púlsar fake dating au - how it all starts

this was the poll winner. idk who voted but here you go

some sketches

Níniam and Karma are chatting as they always do in the afternoon. Today’s subject: Karma's stressed because his brother’s wedding is coming up and that means a bunch of social engagements he has to go to alone and suffer through all the oh when are you going to get a girlfriend your brother did so good Sahare surely is a catch and surely soon we’ll see you getting married, won’t we, AND Garvan sending him the no bitches? meme (when he himself doesn't have bitches). Ira is off in the kitchen cooking dinner, hearing snippets of the conversation here and there, until she hears Níniam suggest he’ll go as his date.

Here’s where she pops in.

“Date to where?” Níniam fills her in on what’s happening and his totally viable plan of going as Karma’s date, his hands doing tricks with his trick pen. Ira looks at Karma, laying on what she assumes is his couch, crumpled t-shirt and askew headphones. Blushing and frozen in place. For a second she thinks the internet went down again because he really isn’t moving or breathing. Is he okay?

Meanwhile, Karma doesn’t know where to look because 1. Unexpected stranger adjacent interaction he was not prepared for, and 2. He isn’t a fan of the whole fake dating, because his family and friends have met him, they know him, there’s no way they’d fall for it. His brain is already going into error mode when Ira talks.

“I mean, go for it as long as you don’t forget to do your chores and keep up with school.” Ira is extremely amused at Níniam’s antics. He's loved playacting since he was a child, and coming up with these overly complicated scenarios of random strangers they pass on the street. “But won’t it be a little weird? You just turned nineteen, so--”

That’s Karma’s cue to cut this. He loves Níniam, he truly does. But there’s no scenario where the plan succeeds, also:

“Yeah and Garvan and Sahare know you are my friend, so they wouldn’t buy it either way.”

“Ira can do it then.”

“I can what now?”

But Níniam already has the whole script ready in his mind. Also, he loves his sister but her best friend is a cat and her human best friend is him, her little brother. She loves her to death, but he really thinks they’d get along well. They both love him, after all. It all fits perfectly.

“You can say I introduced you! And you already know stuff about each other!! This is a perfect idea. I’m a genius, you are welcome, Karma.”

Meanwhile, Karma’s brain is displaying 739 error messages.

“What’s in it for me?” Ira knows resistance is a lost battle against Níniam. And he’s so excited about the idea. But still giving in too easily is not in her nature.

“My unconditional love.” Níniam makes puppy eyes at her, he’s mastered that look since he was five. Ira’s mastered resisting to it since she was fifteen (and he was 9).

“Your unconditional love my ass.” She already has it anyways.

“Free food and messing with rich snobby people?” He knows he has her, and Ira knows he knows he does.

“I’m in.” 

It sounds fun. She’ll get a kick out of it, probably too. And it makes Níniam happy, which, what else can she ask for?

Meanwhile, Karma listens in horror as Níniam plans The Greatest Deception The World Has Ever Seen, sneaking glances at Ira who just seems chill at the whole idea??? How. He’s barely processing what happened in the last 5 minutes of his life.

Yeah, he’s so fucked. He can’t win this.

Oh well.

[vsnotresponding]

púlsar fake dating au - whomst?

aka meet the ocs from this silly little au before i make one for like, the actual thing, sí soc

Ira

25

ace

works and volunteers in An Organization that helps victims from A Thing That Happened

she was a victim of The Thing (and her brothers)

her best friend is a stray cat that vibes near work

lives with her younger brother Níniam

loves coffee

currently: tired from work and trying to cook something edible for dinner

Karma

26

also ace but doesn’t know it (he’s demi)

writes articles for a divulgation magazine her mom works at

is part of The Rock Club where he met Níniam

besties with Garvan and Sahare

wears glasses

his father was responsible for The Thing That Happened

currently stressed about the social engagements he’ll have to attend because of his brother’s approaching wedding

Níniam

just turned 19

studying geology

video chats Karma daily in the afternoons even if they saw each other at Rock Club

loves scary movies and shiny things

jokes about ira’s cooking being bad (it’s not really that bad) but he can’t even toast bread

loves photography, specially small animals and scenery (this includes bugs, bugs are friends, he’ll fight you on this)

loves playing pretend in public (ira goes along with it)

currently: worried about how tired ira is all the time :c