#p: no mime like the present

[sergeantsporks]

Gilded Family

Rating: Teen and Up, Gen

Ch 39/39: Closure

Ch 1, Ch 2, Ch 3, Ch 4, Ch 5, Ch 6 , Ch 7, Ch 8, Ch 9, Ch 10, Ch 11, Ch 12, Ch 13, Ch 14, Ch 15, Ch 16, Ch 17,  Ch 18, Ch 19, Ch 20, Ch 21, Ch 22, Ch 23, Ch 24, Ch 25, Ch 26, Ch 27, Ch 28, Ch 29, Ch 30, Ch 31, Ch 32, Ch 33, Ch 34, Ch 35, Ch 36, Ch 37, Ch 38, Ch 38.5

An alternate universe in which Evelyn managed to save Caleb after his confrontation with Phillip. The two of them escaped to present day through time pools, and have been using time pools to secretly rescue grimwalkers just after Belos attempts to kill them. The story follows Darius' mentor as he adjusts to his new life, as well as changes to the course of canon.

Ao3

Xxx

“I don’t know about this.”

Cyrus tried to turn around, but A.T. caught his shoulders, turning him around, and Phoenix gave him a push towards the townspeople cleaning up wreckage and graffiti. Most importantly, towards the blue demon boy stabilizing a broken wall.

“Do you like him, or no?”

“I mean, yes,” Cyrus replied, “But we went on one sort-of date ages ago, before everything went screwy! What if he doesn’t like me anymore? What if he doesn’t even remember it?”

“You were halfway through a date before you were suddenly interrupted and dragged off by your family, and then a wild witch showed up and was chased through the streets,” A.T. reminded him, “How could he forget that date?”

“Yes, but what if the whole concealment stone thing drives him away? What if—if—”

“What if he’s got terrible amnesia?” A.T. suggested, “What if he’s got a new boyfriend? What if I unhinge my jaw and swallow him whole before you have the chance to speak to him?”

“What?” Phoenix and Cyrus asked in unison.

“Exactly, it’s all impossible. Go talk to him.”

Cyrus didn’t look too convinced, but he also seemed too startled by A.T.’s statement to protest, and made his way towards his one-time date. He waved awkwardly, saying something Phoenix couldn’t hear. The demon left his work, dusting his hands off, and tilting his head in a question. Cyrus pulled out his concealment stone, put it on, transformed, then took it off when his partner’s eyes lit up with recognition. He put the stone back in his pocket, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.

“I’m actually super terrible for lying and you should never even look at me again,” A.T. mimed in a terrible imitation of Cyrus—a truly impressive feat, given how much his natural voice already sounded like their sibling. “I don’t think I’m worth it, even though I totally deserve a spectacular boyfriend!” He switched his voice to a lower pitch when the demon spoke up. A.T. even imitated his tentative hand one Cyrus’ arm.

“Wow, you look so much better without the concealment stone! Let’s get married forever!”

“I don’t think that’s what he’s saying.”

“Could be. You don’t know.”

Cyrus said something else, glancing back at A.T. and Phoenix. A.T. waved when the demon looked over, but the demon barely seemed to see him, his eyes latching onto Phoenix and sparking with something that was almost recognition, but fogged over by confusion.

Right. I ran into him when he was a puppet.

Phoenix wondered how many other former puppets would look at him with that unease, that sense of not quite remembering why he made them uncomfortable, but knowing somewhere in their unconscious mind that he’d played with the Collector, stood by while they were paraded around helplessly.

But Cyrus’ date shook himself, waved back at A.T., and turned back to Cyrus, enthusiastically explaining the work he was doing with a lot of arm waving. Cyrus went along with him, a small, happy smile blooming on his face.

“Aw, well, that’s sweet.” A.T. tugged his hair. “Boy, this place looks different. I hope they don’t rebuild it the exact same. I’d like to see something new.”

“Well, for one thing, there won’t be specialized cells for wild witches,” someone said behind them, “Thank the titan for that.”

A short witch grinned at them. She looked familiar, but Phoenix couldn’t quite place why until she nodded at an alleyway. “Seems like just yesterday you lot helped me out of here, and now, well, I’m back! This time without the chasing, hopefully. Where’s your little friend, the one with the jokes? And the older one?”

“Oh!” Phoenix blurted out. “The witch at the coven day—hey! You made it past the day of unity?”

“Mhm. One of the Collector’s little spies picked me up later, but I’m back now. You would not believe all the apologies I’ve been getting. It’s going to go to my head if I’m not careful. Maybe I should set some scaffolding on fire and give them a new reason to chase me out of town, for old times’ sake. Or at the least to test how far their ‘we’re so sorry, wild witches were right’ sentiments go.”

A.T. reached into his pocket and wordlessly held out a box of matches.

“Did you just have those on you?” Phoenix asked.

“You never know when you’ll have to light a fire,” A.T. remarked serenely, “Just ask Frank.”

The wild witch barked a laugh. “I like you. I’m Annette Thompson; what do they put on your wanted posters?”

A.T.’s face burst into a wide grin. “Matching initials!”

“What’s yours stand for, then?”

“I’ve been told not to ask,” Phoenix told her.

“Oh, a mystery?”

A.T. wiggled his eyebrows up and down. “One that is unlocked after we light enough fires together.”

Annette laughed again. “I suppose we better start, then.”

“Please don’t light anything too important on fire,” Phoenix called desperately after them, “Or better yet—no fires!”

Cyrus jogged over just as A.T. and Annette disappeared into the construction. “I think I need to quit distracting Raphael right now, but he told me when he gets off of construction work, and… where’s A.T. gone off to?”

“To light a fire? I think? He’s made a friend. Or… partner in crime? Possibly both.”

Alarm flashed across Cyrus’ face. “We should be worried, right? We should stop them? They’re just rebuilding.”

Phoenix waved a hand. “I’m sure it’s… fine. Ish.”

“Mm.” Cyrus squinted at the bustling streets. “I guess as long as he doesn’t light anything huge on fire in the middle of my second date.”

“On second thought, I think I’ll go find them.”

Xxx

“I’m leaving.”

Caleb glanced up at Joseph’s declaration, still mostly-engrossed in kneading bread dough for dinner. “Thanks for letting me know. What time do you think you’ll be back?”

“No, I mean, I’m leaving. To go do something else. I won’t be around for… I don’t know how long.”

Phoenix and Frank glanced at each other, but quietly kept chopping up vegetables, pretending they weren’t listening to every word.

“Oh.” Caleb struggled for words, finally managing a simple “I see.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong!” Joseph said quickly. Despite the confidence he’d originally announced himself with, he brimmed with nervous energy, turning a loose griffin feather over and over in his hands, “I love you, and I love the family, and I’ll definitely come back to visit, I just think…” He took a deep breath. “I want to go somewhere else. I’ve been in the same place for so long—and before that, I was with Belos. Now that our home is gone, and we’re rebuilding, and everything is changing anyway… I want to go up to the hand.”

He waved his hands, his nervous energy transforming into excitement. “I mean—the arm is sticking straight up! It’s taller than the Knee now—there’s no telling how the ecosystem up there is going to shift. Plants are going to change to fit the new shape, and the animals are going to have to adapt—and I want to see it. I want to see all the new creatures this brings, I want to see how the old creatures adapt or move somewhere new, or just fail… and I just want to get out and see everything the Isles has. I want to study beasts where they are, out in their natural environments, and I can’t do that if I stay here. I need to go. Please.”

“Okay,” Caleb said slowly. He wiped flour off his hands. “You don’t need my permission, you know that, right?” A wobbly smile appeared on his face. “I gave all of you the choice to leave or stay, remember? I never said that choice had to be permanent.”

Joseph’s shoulders visibly sank in relief. “Thank you.”

“What about the griffins?” Frank asked, finally breaking the unspoken treaty of silence between he and Phoenix.

“I thought—” Joseph rubbed the back of his neck. “—that is—if it’s alright—I thought I’d take Lucy. That’ll make the space restraints with moving closer to town less of an issue. The other griffins I think will be alright as long as they’re fed and exercised, but Lucy… anyway, this—it means the world to me.”

Caleb gave him a small, sad smile. “Permission to…?”

Joseph grabbed Caleb in a bear hug, squeezing so tightly that Phoenix thought he heard Caleb’s back pop. “Thank you, Dad,” he mumbled, his voice thick, “Thank you for everything.”

Caleb hugged back just as tightly. “I’m going to miss you. But I hope wherever you go—I hope you’re happy. I hope you find what you’re looking for. I hope… I hope…”

He didn’t finish his sentence, instead giving Joseph one last squeeze and letting go.

“Say goodbye to your mom, too, okay?”

“Of course. And everyone—I wouldn’t just disappear. Of course not.”

Joseph wandered out of the kitchen, searching for Evelyn, and Caleb sat down with a whump.

“Are you okay?” Phoenix asked quietly.

He managed a tired smile. “Of course, of course. I always knew that someday… I mean, I hoped that one day the world would be safe enough for you. I think I always sort of knew that the house was too small, and that one day some of you might want to leave.” He ran a hand through his hair. “But I don’t believe any amount of time would have actually prepared me for it.”

Phoenix thought of the first time he’d seen Darius after Belos’ attack—how he’d suddenly looked so grown up, how the realization that he didn’t need a mentor anymore had punched him in the gut. “No,” he agreed, “I don’t think it would.”

Caleb took a deep breath. “Things are changing right now,” he admitted, “We’ve been… living in a bubble. The only surprises were when one of you would join the house. But now�� now the world’s opened up to us, and nothing will be the same.” He gave Phoenix and Frank a tired smile. “At risk of sounding like my brother, I’m not quite sure I’m ready for the change.”

Frank chuckled. “Now you know how we felt when we woke up in a different century.” He shrugged and chopped furiously at the vegetables on the board. “Things are going to be different. But some things are going to be the same, like—” he yanked back from the cutting board with a short scream.

Phoenix dropped his knife, and Caleb jumped up immediately. “Are you okay?! Did you cut yourself?!”

“My arm!” Frank yelped, “I’ve chopped it in with the vegetables! I didn’t even notice! The whole thing’s gone!”

“Terrible,” Phoenix told him, picking his knife back up, “You are just awful.”

Frank grinned, cheerfully resuming his chopping. “And that is something you can count on never changing.

Xxx

The front of Darius’ house buzzed with activity. Lake and Locke even managed to drag Sam out, although he still fidgeted with that strange box Ghost had found. Joseph paced nervously back and forth, and Lucy eyed him like she might be on the verge of sitting on him. But despite the nervousness, the saddlebags on Lucy and the backpack on Joseph looked natural. Right, even. Even his clothes—he’d bundled up for the likely lower temperatures—seemed to fit him better. His eyes shone with a healthy, excited glow.

“I’ll miss you.”

Joseph tousled Jason’s hair, grinning when Jason pushed his hand away. “Don’t get too mopey over me, or Lucy might turn around midair just to squash you.”

“Yeah, yeah. Come back soon, okay? I want to read about all the new things you find up there.”

“You’ll be the first to see the notes,” Joseph promised. He glanced over Jason’s head at Cherry. “Take care of them, yeah? Especially keep your eye on this one. He’s trouble. He’ll get another concussion if he can manage it.”

Jason stuck his tongue out.

“Always.” Cherry’s one eye flicked back and forth nervously, glancing up at the sky like he was hoping for some sudden terrible weather to appear and delay Joseph just a little longer. “Stay safe.

“Always,” Joseph echoed, “Don’t worry about us. We’ll be fine.” He turned to Evelyn and Caleb. “Thank you.”

“You’ll always have a room with us,” Caleb told him, “You know that?”

“I know.”

Evelyn straightened his scarf. “Go find some new wild things. I just know you’ll figure out some way to befriend them.”

“Will do, ma’am.”

Joseph hugged Evelyn and Caleb, climbed on Lucy’s back, and clicked his tongue. The griffin sprang up into the air, her huge wings beating massive gusts of wind onto their heads. Soon, the two of them were just a speck in the sky, sailing towards the raised arm of the titan.

Xxx

“I can’t do it.”

Evelyn gave Auric a gentle shove towards Hexside’s doors. “Yes, you can.”

Auric scratched at the scars on his neck, balking. “I’m too old. Hexside stops at eighteen, and I’m twenty. They won’t let me.”

“I talked to Bump,” Phoenix reassured him, “He and I go back—and Darius talked to him about it, too. You’re not going to be a regular student, no, but the healing teacher agreed to take you on after school, and help you transition into healing-specific schools for graduates. Like an apprenticeship.”

“I don’t have magic,” Auric replied, changing tack, “I can’t do the kinds of… I can’t do it. I’m never going to be as good as them, so—”

“Hey,” Evelyn said sharply, “Who kept Caleb and I from bleeding out?”

“You would have died without the pain sharing spell, I—”

“Who patched up all the refugees when I couldn’t heal anyone?” Evelyn demanded.

“Those weren’t life-threatening injuries, it wasn’t even—”

“You splinted and casted Clara’s broken bone and kept her cheerful,” Phoenix offered, “You were the first one to realize something was wrong with my arms.”

“You stitched Matt up when he came home injured,” Evelyn added, “Face it, Auric—you’re as good a healer as anyone. Magic or no. Magic healers have it easy—we draw a circle, and the wound disappears. But you? You have to put so much thought into what you’re doing, and you have to do it quick. You are incredible, Auric.”

Auric scratched at his neck again. “I’m just not sure.”

“If you really don’t want to do this, then we can go back home,” Evelyn said softly, “But I want you to look me in the eye and tell me with absolute certainty, that going to healing school is something you don’t want.”

Auric took a step back, then a step forward, hovering between Evelyn and the door. “You think I’ll really be able to do it?”

“Would I have put my life in your hands if I wasn’t absolutely certain?”

Auric took a deep breath, taking a decisive step towards Hexside’s doors. “Okay. I’m ready.”

Xxx

“Hey! Over here!”

A hand closed around Phoenix’s arm, pulling him into the empty kitchen. “Phoenix.” Matt laced his fingers together. “You were part of the emperor’s coven when it was actually, you know, a coven.”

Phoenix winced at the reminder. What was this about? “Yes?”

“So you were around a lot of people.”

Where was he going with this? “Yeeessss?”

“Do you know how to plan a party.”

Phoenix stared at him. “What.”

“A party. Do you know how to plan one? Cyrus and I were in town, and his boyfriend invited him to a housewarming party for one of the newly rebuilt houses—well, he invited me, too, but that was just to be polite, I’m not going. Anyway, the point is, I think a housewarming party sounds nice. We could have one for our house, once we’ve actually built it. It would be…” Matt waved a hand. “You know. A normal thing.”

“A normal thing,” Phoenix echoed.

“Something other people do. I think it might help us settle into the town better, you know? Break some of the tension.”

“Have you run this by Caleb and Evelyn yet?”

“I sort of wanted to surprise them. I’ll warn everyone else, of course, but if we’re going to get anywhere with this, first I need someone who can actually plan a party.”

“A party?” Like the word had summoned him, Darius seemed to materialize behind Phoenix. He arched one eyebrow at Matt. “And you asked Phoenix to help plan it?”

“Hey, I planned social functions.”

“The very fact that you just called a party a social function is proof that you aren’t up to the task. What party?”

Matt explained his plan, and Darius nodded slowly. “Doesn’t sound like a bad idea. Who would you invite?”

“You, obviously.”

“Obviously.”

“Um… Cyrus’ boyfriend Raphael? Maybe that woman A.T. started hanging out with… I bet Jason will want to invite the kids. I guess we could invite the refugees who stayed with us, if anyone knows where they went.” Matt scratched the back of his head. “Do we know anyone else??

“Oh, titan,” Darius murmured under his breath.

“Eda and Lilith,” Phoenix volunteered, “Eber. I think that’s everyone.”

“Small party,” Darius commented.

“There’s over twenty of us, any party we host is already huge.”

“Fair enough.” Darius twirled a finger in the air. “If you’re after goodwill from the townsfolk, shouldn’t you invite some of them? Other than Cyrus’ boyfriend, that is.”

Matt winced. “Inviting strangers isn’t the best plan. I don’t know if you’ve realized this, but most of us aren’t exactly the trusting, openly friendly type.”

“I had noticed something of the sort, believe it or not,” Darius said dryly, “Why don’t you go people watch? Pick guests you don’t find threatening. People who aren’t likely to cause friction, accidentally or on purpose.”

“Reconnaissance. We can do that.”

Darius squeezed his eyes shut. “Reconnaissance. Oh, heavens. Please take Jason with you.”

Xxx

“Not that one. Not that one. Ooo, that one gave me an apology basket, let’s invite him.”

Phoenix glanced over at Annette. “You don’t have to help us.”

“Hey, if they’re not friendly towards a wild witch, they won’t be friendly towards your lively bunch either. My insight is incredibly valuable.”

“Hm.”

“Now might be a good time to test that elixir,” Jason commented mildly.

Phoenix glanced down at his arms. Matt had chosen the top a construction crane, of all places, to people-watch from. It had been a miracle—and Annette’s magic—that he’d gotten up here in the first place. And being out in the town without a concealment stone… it made his skin itch. The curse shifted uneasily, reacting to the stress. It was so ridiculous it almost made him laugh; he’d gotten through the Collector’s “games, the apocalypse, and attempted possession, but being up a little too high and getting a little stressed was making the curse react?

“Here goes nothing.” Phoenix tilted the golden bottle back. Eda had warned him not to let it sit in his mouth, but she hadn’t prepared him for the explosion of terrible flavors that washed over his tongue. He swallowed with a gag. “Tastes like burned animal hair,” he said with a grimace.

“But look.” Jason pointed at his arms. The curse settled back into his normal flesh. He could still feel it curled up inside of him, throbbing in time with his heartbeat, but it seemed… passive. Dormant. Almost like it was taking a nap. Some of the bone-weary exhaustion that seemed to stay no matter how long he slept faded into a background numbness.

“Huh. I guess… I’ll be asking Lilith for her recipe.”

“You think it’ll help long-term?”

Phoenix shrugged. “I know the curse has been useful sometimes, but… it’s a little hard on my arms.” He flexed his fingers, wondering at the difference that slight lift from exhaustion had made. “And I’m starting to think it might have been taking up a little more of my energy than I realized.”

Jason nudged his shoulder. “Sam could have told you that.”

“Yeah, yeah. He’d probably love to run a thousand tests on my day-to-day fatigue levels with and without elixirs.”

“Nah, he’s too busy with that box. Potion-brewing lessons for Phoenix, then. Mom will be ecstatic.” Jason kicked his legs aimlessly, watching the people down below. “You guys ever think about what you want to do now that we’re not on the run?”

“Mix as many kinds of magic together as I can,” Annette answered immediately, “Let’s test the ‘wild magic is dangerous’ theory. I bet some of it could be.”

“Oh, wow, you and A.T. really are perfect for each other. Matt?”

“Something normal.”

“What’s that mean?”

“I don’t know. I just want to live a normal life. Make some friends. Get a job. Maybe fall in love, start a family. Do something stupid and young.” Matt shrugged. “I lost my childhood and my teen years to Belos. Everything was one nonstop, horrifying adventure. Everything was some grand purpose. I kind of want to just have a boring life now.”

He heaved a sigh. “I had a choice, you know? Belos just sort of ditched me in the middle of the boiling sea, so when Caleb found me, I was dehydrated and exhausted, but not… dying. I chose to go with Caleb forward in time. I thought if Belos was already destined to be alive for centuries, there wouldn’t be any escaping him in my time. Now that we’ve actually finally gotten away from him… I just want to leave all that behind.”

Matt gave them all a quick smile. “Not that I’d leave the family behind, of course! I still want to be with you guys, I just…” He fell into a pensive silence, staring out at the people below. “I don’t know. I guess Joseph wasn’t the only one with an itch to get out there. This party, getting our foot in the door and helping Mom and Dad get back in the social life of the Isles… it just feels like the right thing to do before going. Not that I’d leave right after. I still don’t have any solid plans. But someday.”

Phoenix didn’t respond. He didn’t know how. It had been enough of a shock when Joseph had left. He’d known, of course, that things would change. Phoenix himself wouldn’t even be at the house on weekends anymore. But between Joseph leaving, Matt’s plan, Auric’s apprenticeship, and the appearance of new people in Cyrus and A.T.’s lives… everything was moving so fast. Maybe they’d stopped running for their lives, but their lives still kept running. He’d barely had the time to get used to the quiet life in the woods before it was completely overturned.

“Wow,” Jason said finally, “Have you told Mom or Dad yet? What about Ash?”

“I don’t want to spring this on them right now. I mean, with the house building, and everyone still healing, and Joseph just leaving… it’s not right. I don’t have a solid plan, and even if I left right after the party, that’s still months of house-building away.” Matt brushed his hair out of his face. “So… don’t tell anyone just yet, yeah?

“My lips are sealed,” Jason promised. He pointed down at the street. “That one, Annette, they stopped to feed a stray, put them on the list.” He sighed. “Wish I had a plan.”

Phoenix ruffled his hair. “You’re eighteen. Give yourself a minute.”

Jason pushed at his hand. “Hunter has it all figured out, and he’s only sixteen! He already knows he’s going to be a palisman carver!”

“You’re not Hunter. Most of us don’t know what we’re going to do. I don’t. Eda offered the idea of mentoring, but I don’t know if I’ll take it.”

Jason looked up at him with big, sparkling eyes. “Awwwwwwwww, but you’d be so good at it!”

“We’re not talking about me, we’re talking about you. Nice try.”

“Hey, I meant it. I wasn’t just trying to distract you.”

“Sure. Anyway, take it slow. Joseph knew what he wanted. Matt kind of knows what he wants. But you don’t have to have your whole life figured out just yet. I mean, everyone on the Isles is a bit displaced right now. There are tons of scouts who have no idea what they’re going to do with their lives now. Everyone’s shaken by what happened and wondering what we’ll do without the covens. So just… take it easy. Forget your entire future, let’s plan small. What do you want to do in the next few weeks?”

“Hm. I sort of want to go back to the human realm. Visit Camila. Maybe go back to the library there. Oh—and I want to take Novus. Phoenix, they have so much mechanical stuff there. I think he’ll explode. And I want to help look for where we’ll build the new house. Of course I’m going to help Matt with his guest list and party planning. And… why are you grinning like that?”

“No reason,” Phoenix said lightly, “It just sounds to me like you’ve got plenty of plans for the future.”

Jason wrinkled his nose at Phoenix. “Alright, point taken. But hey, there goes my point. You’re a great mentor.”

“Thanks.” Phoenix tousled Jason’s hair again. This time, he let him.

Xxx

Caleb eyed Phoenix critically. “You’re supposed to be resting your leg.”

He was, in fact, supposed to be sitting back at Darius’ house doing nothing, but Darius had left to deal with some Terra sighting, and almost everyone else was out close to their old home scouting for a new place to build. The whole place had been quiet, except for occasional mutterings from Sam while he fruitlessly searched for a way to open that stone box.

Phoenix sighed. “If I’m stuck sitting around resting my leg for five more minutes, the curse is going to take over from boredom and I’m going to run back into the woods.”

Caleb blinked twice. “Could that actually happen? Your curse activating from boredom, I mean?”

“I doubt it. Besides, I took an elixir today, it should be fine. I won’t move too much, I promise. I’ll find a spot to sit around out here. I just needed to get out.”

“Did you tell Sam you were leaving?”

“He’s not going to look up from that box for at least another twelve hours. He won’t even notice I’m gone.”

“He should just pour some explosive potion on that box and be done with it,” Novus suggested as he walked by, arms full of levels and angle-measurers, “Or cut into it. That’s the pragmatic thing to do.”

Caleb laughed. “It’s not about getting what’s inside for him, it’s about solving the puzzle. If he gives up, then I’ll let you at it with your tools.”

“That’s all I ask.”

“Anyway—you’re probably right, Phoenix, but still.”

“If Sam figures out I’m gone, he’ll probably just shrug and go back to the box. I don’t think he’s desperate to always have someone around. Unless he solves the box, in which case, he’ll tear over here immediately and demand to know why I wasn’t there to witness his moment of triumph.” Phoenix sat down on a log with a sigh. “I messaged Darius to tell him where I was going. Hopefully that’s enough.”

“Hopefully.”

Caleb wandered off, apparently satisfied that Phoenix wouldn’t rebreak his ankle. Phoenix sat on the stump watching his family. Novus kept laying out string where the house would be, testing different spots with his tools, while Lake casually picked the rope up and moved it just a couple inches to the left whenever he wasn’t looking. Matt wrote furiously in a small notebook—party plans, if Phoenix had to guess. Evelyn drew small circles, testing out her construction magic. Everywhere bustled with movement. If someone wasn’t actively making house plans, they were transporting construction materials, or overseeing everyone else.

“They don’t know how to sit still, do they?” Alex plopped down next to Phoenix. “Neither do you.” They shrugged. “I guess it’s good when we’re trying to build a house. What do you think they’ll find to do afterwards?”

“What do you mean?”

Alex gestured at the busy family. “When the house is finished, what do you think they’ll do? What will you do? None of us are good at stopping and staying still for a moment. We just keep going and going and going. So what are we supposed to do once we finish building the new house?”

“We just… live in it, I guess,” Phoenix answered slowly.

“Hm.”

“Do you know what you’re going to do?”

Alex shrugged. “Keep my feet on the ground, that’s the only thing I know for sure. Stay away from heights.”

“Seconded. How are the falling dreams? Have they gotten any better?”

“Careful, you sound like Dad.”

“Sorry, I just… you know, I don’t think I ever thanked you.”

“For what?”

“When you told me where you died—that’s how we found Ghost. So… thank you.”

“Oh. You’re welcome.” Alex went very still, staring pointedly at anything but Phoenix. “Hey, can I ask you something? And… do you promise not to tell anyone what I said?”

“Sure. But, uh… why me?” Surely there were other grimwalkers Alex was closer to. Phoenix had only ever spoken to them the once.

Alex eyed him critically. “Because you’re the only one who backed off, no questions asked, when I told you I just wanted space to process. I don’t know, I feel like I can trust you to understand. Um. Do you think it would be weird if I moved out of the house really soon?”

The question shouldn’t have come as much of a surprise. Joseph had already left, and Matt was planning on it—the moving fever was contagious. But still, Phoenix flinched at the idea of one more grimwalker leaving. “Well,” he said carefully, “I don’t think it would be… I mean, Joseph already broke the ice on that one.”

“I know.” Alex combed their fingers through their hair. “But Joseph was… Joseph. He was big. He was determined. He was capable of wrestling beasts and winning. He… well, he didn’t have a panic attack every time he tripped. What if Mom and Dad don’t think I’m ready?”

“They’ll let you anyway.”

“Right. But would it be weird? I mean, we’re building this house together, and then I… I wouldn’t be in it. They’d build a room for me, for what? For me to leave right after? I don’t want them to think I’ve wanted to leave this whole time and was just waiting for the all-clear.”

“Well, why do you want to leave?”

“Excuse me?”

“Why do you want to leave? Because you want space?”

“Oh. Yes. Something like that.” Alex twisted their hair and let it go. “Time. And space. And I love Mom and Dad and everyone, don’t get me wrong, they’re just… sometimes a little much. So. Um.” Alex gestured towards the town. “You know. Maybe I’ll leave. But I don’t want it to be…”

“Awkward?”

“Yes.”

“You should talk to them about it. I know that’s not your strong suit, but… give it a shot?”

“They’re busy right now.”

Phoenix watched as Novus gestured to Evelyn. She drew one glowing finger in a wide circle, and huge stone walls rose out of the ground where he’d laid out string, her eyes on his blueprints. Her free hand directed another circle, and abominations sludged their way towards the neat piles of tiles, shingles, glass panes, scooping them up and using the stone walls as a base to build windows and roofs.

“Not for long.”

Xxx

“Wow.” Phoenix’s voice echoed in the empty space. He hadn’t realized how everything in the old house had muffled sound until he stood in the empty rooms Evelyn had built. “This took two days?”

“And Evelyn will be passed out for about five,” Caleb said disapprovingly, “I wish she’d taken it slower.”

Lake bounced down a set of stairs, each footstep echoing off the walls and turning into a marching army. “Is Sam getting two rooms again? Because he’s already claimed one of the empty ones up there for his lab.”

“Oh, no,” Novus said casually, “I gave the house a couple of extra rooms for Ghost and Hunter, but I’m taking over the lab space for my work. Machinery will be far more useful than the glyphs now.” He laughed at Caleb’s stricken face. “I’m joking. There’s enough rooms for both. He can have a lab.”

Lake tilted their head. “Seems kinda… bare.”

“We’ll paint the walls,” Caleb promised. He moved through the space with a twinkle in his eye. “The kitchen will be here. Dining room right next to it, of course. What do you guys think of getting a family picture? I’ve always wanted one.”

“What about Achsah’s room?”

Caleb froze.

Lake scratched the back of their neck. “I mean… we saved some of her stuff. Some of the photographs were okay. We could try to set it all up again. But it won’t really be her room anymore. We’ll just be recreating it. Is that something you and Mom want?”

It was like in the absence of Locke, or Sam to bother, Lake had lost their usual goofy demeanor. Phoenix had never seen them be serious for more than two seconds—to drop this reminder on Caleb shocked Phoenix almost as much as it did their ortet.

“Um,” Caleb said in a strangled whisper, “I don’t know. I don’t…”

The kitchen and dining room area held a startling similarity to the old house—Novus had probably designed it that way on purpose. Caleb turned and wandered, half dazed, into the room that would have been Achsah’s back at home.

Lake watched him go passively. “That went well. Do you want to check out the rest of the house? Novus put a state of the art hidden room behind the dining room. The wall slides out and everything.”

“You’re not going to go check on him?”

“Nah, he needs a second by himself.”

Lake wandered through the empty halls, and Phoenix followed. “I don’t get it.”

“Don’t get what?”

Phoenix struggled for a moment to find the right words. “Why you?” he said finally.

“Because Cherry already took one for the team and yelled at Dad for sacrificing himself.”

“Really? That’s it?”

Lake shrugged. “Locke and I overheard Cherry and Novus talk about it when they first showed us the plans—you know how we like to lurk. Lurking is our favorite. Anyway, Cherry told Novus to just leave it in the plans, and we’d get there later, but, well, like I said, Cherry already did the lecture. Someone else’s turn to be the bearer of unwanted news.” Lake blew a strand of hair out of their face. “Would have loved for it to be Sam, Mr. Logic of Logics, but, well.”

They opened a door. Sure enough, Sam had claimed a space for a lab. Right now, he sat on the floor, twisting pieces of the box. He looked up.

“The box is a gridded cube!” he called excitedly, “Jason has compared it to something in the human realm called a ‘rubik’s cube’ and promised to find me one whenever he next visits. I just have to find the right combination…”

Lake closed the door. “You see the problem. Anyway, Locke and I rock-paper-scissors over it, which he ALWAYS wins, you would not BELIEVE how effective it is when he yells out his choice after I’ve already put my hand out. So I was Mr. Logic of Logics today.” They scratched the back of their head. “Not my favorite of jobs. I tried to channel Sam energy, how’d I do?”

Phoenix shook his head. “How do you do that?”

“What, channel Sam energy? It’s very easy, I just think ‘books, books, books’ in my head over and over again until I’m sufficiently stuffy and sneezing out big words.”

“No, I mean you and Locke—how do you stay so…”

“Charming?”

“…upbeat,” Phoenix finished.

Lake shook their head sadly. “It’s all a coping mechanism, we’re so sad and we cover it up with jokes so that no one will see the empty pit of despair welling up inside.” They grinned, immediately dispelling any thought Phoenix might have had that they were being serious. “Look, Phoenix. You just have to stop taking everything so seriously. We beat Belos! We survived! You’re on track for managing your curse! We’re building a great big house! We fought hard. Now enjoy the spoils.”

Loud banging echoed through the house, metal on wood. Lake glanced at an imaginary watch. “It appears to be checking on Dad o’clock.”

Caleb had left “Achsah’s” room. Instead, he sat in the empty place where the kitchen would be, building a table. He gave Phoenix a cheerful grin. “Been a while since I’ve done any woodworking.”

“You seem… chipper,” Phoenix said cautiously.

“Oh, for Titan’s sake, I can’t do this,” Lake whispered under their breath. They disappeared, and came back with Sam. “Go,” they ordered, pointing him towards Caleb.

Sam blinked, as if disoriented by how fast Lake had separated him from the cube and dragged him here. “Nice table. Avoiding our problems again?”

“I’m not avoiding anything. We need furniture if we’re going to live in this house. I’m solving problems.”

“Very reasonable,” Sam agreed, “How about that problem of Achsah’s room?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

Phoenix sighed. This was going nowhere. “Are you okay?” he asked Caleb, “I know this can’t be easy. I know how much keeping her room meant to you.”

Caleb’s hand shook on his hammer. “I knew she wasn’t coming back. I mean, Eda and Lilith existing made that painfully clear. I guess I just hoped… But Lake’s right, aren’t they? It’s not her room anymore. The room’s gone, she’s gone…”

“It’s not wrong to want a reminder,” Phoenix said quietly, “You don’t have to forget her.”

“I don’t think I ever could.”

“You don’t have to decide now,” Sam chimed in, “You can leave the room empty for now. Leave it for last. Besides, you should probably talk to Mom before making a decision.”

“Yeah. Yeah, of course.” Caleb gave the three of them a wan smile. “Thank you.”

“Except Lake for bringing it up,” Sam added.

“No. Lake, too.” Caleb took a deep breath. “I’ll think about it.”

He turned back to the table, but the hammering seemed less desperate now. Phoenix swung out at the obvious dismissal, followed closely by Lake.

“Nice handling,” Lake told him, “Next time, I’m leaving the hard discussions to you.”

“No, thanks. I’ve had enough difficult discussions recently, and I don’t need one more.”

Lake gave him a lopsided grin. “Loosen up, remember? Makes the hard stuff easier.”

They disappeared back up the stairs, leaving nothing behind but the echo of their footsteps.

Enjoy the spoils.

Phoenix took a deep breath, looking around the new house with a small smile. They still had plenty to worry about—making this place home, what to do about Achsah’s room, Matt’s upcoming plans—but for now… maybe Lake was right. Maybe it was time to let go.

Days blurred into weeks of painting and building, moving one room at a time. Kitchen and dining room first, so that they’d have somewhere to cook and eat. Caleb set chairs and tables he’d built in the dining room, beaming with pride. Then came the bathrooms, and the common rooms, and finally, Evelyn declared that they’d picked over the ruins enough, and they wouldn’t find anything else, so they might as well start on their rooms. Phoenix still made the commute back to Bonesborough every weekend to see Darius and catch up on the Isles-wide reconstruction efforts.

Phoenix stared at the blank canvas of his wall. While Jason lined his room with books, and Mole lovingly set potted plants, Phoenix sat on his bed, wishing he could do something besides paint. Even before the house had been destroyed, he hadn’t been there long enough to make the room his own—and the time he did get was so hectic, he wasn’t even sure he’d had anything in the house to salvage.

“Going for the minimalistic approach, are we?” Darius asked from the door.

“Darius!” Phoenix jumped up from the bed. The cast had been cut off yesterday, but his ankle was so weak it almost folded underneath him immediately. “Hey—what are you doing here?”

“Getting all the stuff out of my living room. And having a top secret meeting with Matt about his party. You know, I’m not entirely certain he’s separated the idea of a party from coven work.”

“That sounds right.” Phoenix waved a hand at the walls. “What do you think? Bright purple for the walls?”

“Don’t you dare.” Darius looked around the room. “I know just about everything of yours was confiscated when you… disappeared… so I thought… ah, just take it.”

He handed Phoenix a photograph in a simple wooden frame, a photo of he and Darius during the mentorship. Phoenix gently brushed one hand over his photographed face. He’d gotten so used to the scars from Belos’ attack that seeing this photograph without them now felt strange and foreign. His face looked so… young. But even with the great grin plastered across his face in the photo while he headlocked Darius, a tired sadness seemed etched in his face.

“Thank you,” he said quietly, “I don’t remember this being taken—where did you find it?”

“My memories,” Darius replied casually, “I had a copy made.” He sighed. “I know things weren’t rosy perfect back then. I know so much happened to you that I never saw. And I know—or at least I hope—we’re headed towards a better chapter of our life now. But don’t forget the last chapter, eh?”

Phoenix set the photograph up on the dresser, sweeping elixir bottles to the side. “Never. And—Darius? Thank you. For the photo. For letting us stay with you. For… everything.”

“Anytime. Now, if you’ll excuse me, there’s a top secret party meeting I must attend. I believe we are discussing snacks.”

Xxx

“I see someone—wait, no, that’s just someone’s abomination that’s gotten loose.” Jason all-but had his face pressed against the glass of the front window, watching out for incoming guests. “They’ll come, right? I mean, of course our friends will show, but given that half the point is to get the townspeople used to the look-alike family that wandered out of the woods, we really need some people we don’t know.”

“I’m sure they will,” Phoenix assured him, but he watched equally carefully.

“Oh!” Jason yanked back from the window, opening the door and sprinting down the careful garden path, currently devoid of an actual garden. “Willow! Gus! Amity! Luz!” He bowed to Willow with a flourish. “Lord of Bats.”

She returned his over-the-top bow with one of her own. “House of Crows. How lovely to see you again.”

“It’s been three days,” Amity reminded them.

They both laughed, and Jason led the kids towards the door.

“Eda and Lilith are on their way with King,” Luz told Phoenix, “They’ll be here soon. I might take King home at some point, though. Don’t want him up too late and all.”

A loud gasp sounded from the path, and a witch from town clutched her chest. “I—I just thought I was meeting the new neighbors,” she stammered, “I didn’t know that Luz the human would be here—and did you say the owl lady was coming?”

“Yesssss?” Luz said uncertainly, as if unsure whether this information would scare the witch off or not.

“Oh. Oh, my. Excuse me. I’ll be right back.”

She dashed off back towards town, and Luz winced. “I think your guest list might have just gotten a bit bigger.”

That didn’t bode well. They’d kept the invitations small on purpose—not that anyone but Matt and Darius really knew who was coming, but still, Phoenix thought some of the others might notice if too many people showed up.

Eda, Lilith, and King arrived in a rush of feathers and a bag of elixirs pushed into Phoenix’s arms. He answered Lilith’s seemingly endless questions on their effects, wondering vaguely if anyone had warned Caleb and Evelyn they were coming, but mostly focused on the steady trickle of strangers now coming towards the house.

Caleb and Evelyn wandered into the living room, stopping dead when they spotted Lilith and Eda. Phoenix winced. Caleb didn’t look much like his descendants, but their resemblance to Evelyn was impossible to deny. He could practically see the wheels ticking in Eda’s head. But before she could say anything, the other guests reached the house and she was swept away in a tide of questions and admirations. Luz looked similarly swamped.

“Well, this wasn’t in the plans.” Matt stood on the stairs, chewing thoughtfully on a pen. “I should have guessed something would go wrong. I need to warn Silver.”

The mobs around Eda and Luz split into a third group, buzzing around Darius the moment he walked through the door. He arched one eyebrow at Matt, who winced and shrugged.

“Well, we’re getting a reputation for being well-connected,” Locke said at Phoenix’s elbow, “Fantastic, I’m sure this will hold no negative consequences.” He grinned. “We should invite celebrities over more often.”

Babble surrounded Phoenix as people slowly got over their star-struck awe and spread out. They stuck in small packs, townsfolk interacting with their neighbors, and grimwalkers talking to other grimwalkers. Both groups eyed each other uneasily, skirting around each other and only occasionally exchanging brief hellos and ‘excuse me’s.

“Ah, yes,” Locke deadpanned, “I can feel the house warming up already.” He stuck his nose into the air, shaking his head back and forth. “Can you feel that, Lake?”

As if summoned, Lake seemed to materialize at Phoenix’s other side. “No, Locke, what is it?”

“The tension! It’s so thick it’s starting to physically manife—”

Thump.

Muffled murmurs. Evelyn’s immediate sprint, pushing through guests and grimwalkers alike. “Give him space,” she ordered.

“Steven,” Jason breathed, “He’s having a seizure—we need to move everyone away, there’s not enough space.”

More murmurs and exclamations. Across the room, Silver’s face was as white as a sheet, and they beelined for the nearest window, opening it and oh-so-casually leaning against the sill, prepared to leap out, if Phoenix had to guess.

This is bad.

It didn’t take Darius, party expert extraordinaire, to know that. People flocked naturally to a disaster—they’d crowd Steven, stress Silver, and probably panic themselves, which would only—

“Well, I think it’s time to move this party outside!” Locke hopped up on the stairs, raising their voice, “Do we have any plant witches in attendance tonight?”

Willow raised her hand, and a few others tentatively joined her.

“Who feels like a seed race?”

“What’s that?” someone called.

“Only the best way for a plant witch to show off their magical prowess! Winner gets to take home a rare human realm plant known as ‘mint,’ proven to thrive even in the Isles!”

A few ‘ooo’s rose up, and witches started to wander outdoors. Cherry had quickly assembled a circle of grimwalkers around Steven and Evelyn, blocking them from view while guests went outside.

Willow hung back, raising one eyebrow at Locke. “A seed race, huh? How come I’ve never heard of that before?”

“Because I made it up just now. Mole, you’ve got some seeds, right? Where did you want some of the plants in the garden to go? I’ll make it look natural.”

Caleb slumped against the banister. “Thank you, Locke.” Behind him, Steven slowly sat up, watched by Evelyn like a hawk.

“Hey, it’s what I do. Be a loud and annoying distraction. Just ask Sam!” Locke grinned, bouncing out the door. “Alright, three categories: speed, size, and healthiness! Line up!”

Caleb sighed, joining Evelyn and Steven.

Eda nudged Phoenix. “Hey, introduce me to your planner. We’ve been scheming up a quinceañera party for Luz, and so far, this party’s been a riot.”

“Wish it was less of one.”

She grinned and held out an elixir. “Bottoms up, kid.”

Phoenix glanced down. He hadn’t even noticed his arms had started to drip. Great. Another thing for the townsfolk to take home as a story. He gulped the elixir with a grimace. “Does the taste ever get better?”

“If anything, it gets worse. Ah, well, necessary evils and all that. Not to suddenly change the subject or anything, but do you mind explaining her?” Eda waved an accusing hand towards Evelyn.

“I think you’d better ask her. And Caleb.”

“Yeah, I kind of thought that would be your answer. Well, can’t blame me for trying the easy route.” Eda grabbed Lilith’s arm. “C’mon.”

“What? Where are we going?”

“Answer-hunting.”

Before they could approach Evelyn, Sam thumped down the stairs, puzzle box tucked under his arm. “Oh, is the party over already? Excellent, I didn’t actually want to go.”

Lilith gasped. “Ooo!” She pulled herself from Eda’s grip, reaching for the box. “May I? I love a good puzzle.”

“Be my guest.”

“Aaaaand I’ve lost her,” Eda muttered under her breath, “Right, just me then.” She squared her shoulders, and marched towards Caleb and Evelyn. Steven waved the two of them off with a tired smile, and the two nervously gestured towards Achsah’s room, still untouched.

“They are definitely going to botch the explanation,” Sam said cheerfully, “They always do.”

“Yeah…” Phoenix looked back at Steven to check if he was still upright. He was with Darius now, and the two of them spoke in low voices, occasionally glancing down at Steven’s burned-off sigil. Cherry stood only a few feet away, looking like he was desperately trying not to listen in and at the same time, straining to hear what was being said.

“You’re my WHAT?!” Eda’s voice squawked from Achsah’s room.

“Got it!” Lilith said triumphantly at the same time, “You were so close. I barely had to do anything.” She looked up. “What happened to Eda?”

Phoenix hurried to Achsah’s room, Darius and Steven forgotten. Eda jabbed a finger at him the moment he entered.

“You are not allowed to be my great uncle,” she told him, “Not allowed, do you hear me?”

“Sorry. I’ll try not to be.”

Lilith came in on Phoenix’s heels. “What’s going on?”

“They’re our ancestors, Lili. Our ancestors.”

“Oh,” Lilith said thoughtfully, “That makes sense. Fascinating.” She held out the box. “This is for you two, by the way. Someone called Achsah went great lengths to make sure it reached you through time.”

Caleb all-but snatched the opened box from her, his face pale. “Achsah?!”

Evelyn delicately lifted out a letter. Phoenix caught sight of a bracelet inside, hand-woven leather and beads. Evelyn scanned the letter, her eyes welling up with tears.

“Get Mole, please,” she whispered, and Sam was off. Mole arrived moments later, and Evelyn held up the letter. “Caleb, would you…?”

Caleb took the paper from her, his eyes devouring it like a starving man. “Dear Mom and Dad,” he read out loud, “I’ve buried this letter in a puzzle box under where the kitchen will be someday. I hope you finally get to work on that root cellar you always wanted, or else you won’t find it. Dad—” he choked up, and Evelyn took the letter.

“Dad, I know exactly what you’ve probably been doing since the moment the time pool washed away, and I want you to stop it. What happened wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t anyone’s. For a while, I was sad, and lost, and wanted nothing more than for you to pop out of another pool and bring me back home.” Evelyn took a deep breath. “But since then, I’ve met some beautiful people, including my partner.”

Caleb took the letter back. “You two would love them, just as much as I love them. I wish the three of you could meet. While I write this, your grandkid is tearing through the house like a tiny terror. He’s got your nose, Dad, and Mom’s eyes. And the healer tells me I’ve got twins coming—isn’t that crazy? I’d do anything to protect them, and I know if you could have come back for me, you would have. But I want you to know that I’m happy here and now. I miss you every day, but I don’t regret the people I’ve met since. Please don’t be sad I’m gone.”

Caleb smiled at Mole. “This next part is for you. Say hi to your lookalike for me, Dad. If he’s anything like you, the ‘don’t blame yourself’ bit goes for him, too. I don’t regret rescuing him. I only wish I’d gotten to know him. Bet he’s awesome. I made a bracelet for him. I know he was passed out, so he probably didn’t see me at all, but it’s just something to remember me by. His younger/older sister.”

Mole sniffed, delicately lifting the bracelet out of the box and slipping it onto his wrist.

“I know we were hiding. I didn’t realize it first, but now that I’ve spent my life here trying to pretend I’ve always lived in this time, I can see it’s the same. Mom. Dad. I don’t want you to keep hiding. Whatever happens, get out there. Show the world who you are. All the love in both dimensions, Achsah.”

Caleb folded up the letter, and they all stood there for a long moment, no one saying anything. Finally, Evelyn took Caleb’s hand. “No more hiding,” she said softly.

“No more hiding,” Caleb echoed, “No more grieving.”

“Are you ready to show the world who we are?”

“If you are.”

Evelyn smiled, and together, she and Caleb walked out to meet the Isles.

Xxx

“Latissa.” Evelyn said the word carefully, like it might shatter in her mouth. “That’s an interesting choice. Any reason?”

Steven rubbed his arm where his sigil used to be. “Darius mentioned something—I know it’s gone, but…”

“The sigil experiments,” Phoenix breathed. That had to be what Darius and Steven had been talking about at the housewarming party. He touched his own mark. The Day of Unity was over, and with it, the danger of the draining spell. The sigils didn’t affect him, but countless witches couldn’t access all their magic—Alador led the way in sigil removal research, and Darius was right there with him.

Steven nodded. “The sigil experiments. I don’t think mine is the same as the modern sigils, since it almost killed me instantly, but Darius said getting a look at the earlier attempts might help them understand the ones we have now.”

“But you said it: you don’t have yours anymore,” Evelyn replied, “How are they going to study it?”

“Questions. Anecdotes. And… the seizures. Darius thinks they’re related.”

“We knew that.”

“Well, yes, but this might be—I mean, if what I know can help them, and if their research can stop the seizures entirely… even if they can’t, I want to help.” Steven shook his head. “I used that glove on other people, even knowing what it would do to them. I can’t change that, but… maybe I can make up for it by helping witches suffering from those sigils now.”

Evelyn chewed on her lip. “Latissa is a bit of a commute without a palisman,” she said finally, “What’s your plan?”

“I’d be staying there.” Steven shrugged, as if trying to make it seem like nothing. “There’s space—they converted the old police station into their center. I’m sure we can fit a bed.”

“I see. Do you—do you know how long you’d be there?” Evelyn’s voice held a sort of desperate casualness to it, like she was trying not to scare Steven off, but also didn’t quite want to let him go.

“Not forever.” Steven’s voice matched Evelyn’s, somehow both intensely normal and strained at the same time. “I’ll be back. Um. I mean, how long could it take, really?”

“How much is Alador like Sam?” Evelyn joked. She rubbed her arm. “Will you be okay? I should go with you.”

“What? Mom, they need you here.”

“But the seizures—if one happens—will Alador know what to do?”

“I’ll tell him,” Steven promised, “And I’m almost certain healers will be involved—I’ll be in the best possible place if something does go wrong. Besides home.”

“Hm.”

Steven took her hands. “Mom, I’ll be safe. I promise. This could be… it could be huge for me.”

“It could be.” Evelyn sighed, wrapping him in a hug. “Oh, I knew you all would grow up. I just didn’t think it would be so soon.”

Phoenix thought uneasily of Matt and Alex. Neither of them had announced their plans to leave yet, but maybe Evelyn suspected. Or maybe with Jason always off with the kids, and Auric always off at his new apprenticeship, and Phoenix gone every weekend, she just felt… lonely.

“I won’t be gone for long. Promise.”

Xxx

“Where was that you said? The wreckage of the keep? Again?” Darius pinched his nose, nodding along to the conversation on the other end of the raven phone. “I know—yes. No, we’ll look into it. I said we’ll look into it! Yes, lovely day to you too, goodbye.”

Phoenix winced, setting his weekend bag on the floor with a thump. “Bad time?”

Darius tossed the phone to the side, letting it fly to its perch. “It’s fine. Just Terra rearing her head again. Most of the scouts and coven heads settled in peacefully enough, but every couple of months…”

Phoenix shuddered. He doubted she’d come after him specifically, but part of him was tempted to start checking his drinks for poison. “Is it safe to leave her on the loose?”

“Unlikely. If anyone’s going to cause havoc, it’s going to be her. But the…” Darius heaved a sigh. “…CATs… are spread too thin. Between guarding the new palistrom tree, rebuilding what Belos and the Collector destroyed, and keeping the peace between disoriented and disillusioned citizens, we haven’t had a lot of time or manpower to spare towards tracking her down. And I don’t want to assign someone inexperienced to the job—we need someone who’s used to handling threats. Big ones. People who can corner her, and…” he tilted his head. “You have a thinking face on. You know someone, don’t you? One of your siblings?”

“Yes,” Phoenix said slowly, “Or—at least, I think so. Let me see that phone again?”

One short phone call and a griffin-flight later, Meleager, Horus, Hamlet, and Venari sat in Darius’ living room, studying pictures of Terra with matching frowns.

“Plant magic…” Meleager mused, “Fire and ice, then. I think I still have some leftover frost potions.”

“We need to get her off the ground,” Venari added, “The further she is from seeds and dirt, the harder it’ll be for her to get away.”

Hamlet scratched his head. “Coven head, though, so it’ll be tricky to separate her entirely—any capture method like nets or rope can’t be made of plant fibers, because she might be able to manipulate those.”

“Once we get her hands and feet immobilized, that won’t be as big of an issue,” Horus declared, “Focus on the capture—containment after should be comparatively easy.”

“Sounds like they’ve got this under control,” Darius murmured to Phoenix.

“They’ve been bored,” Phoenix replied equally quietly, “Oh, just—make sure you prioritize capturing Terra alive.”

Darius chuckled, then glanced at Phoenix and stopped abruptly. “Oh, you’re not kidding. They’ll—”

“Without hesitation.”

“Huh. Well, would it really be that much of a loss? Kidding,” he added quickly, “I’ll be sure to tell them.”

Phoenix shrugged. “I’ve got no love lost for Terra. But I don’t want them killing anyone, for sure. I don’t think that’s a path anyone wants them taking.”

“Hey.” Darius gave Phoenix a small smile. “Give them a little trust. They met Petro—I don’t think they’re in any hurry to go down the killing spree path.”

“Hm. I hope you’re right. They still might engage in some light torture, though.”

Darius squeezed his eyes shut. “Why do I feel like you handed me a bigger problem than the one you’ve solved?”

“They’ll be fine. Just…”

“Reiterate the capturing her alive part, yes, understood.”

“We’re going,” Venari declared, “We’ll see you in… what, 3 days at the worst?”

“We’re staking out the keep. We might come back to steal Dagger,” Meleager explained, “We got this, Phoenix, she’ll never poison anyone again.”

“Alive,” Darius warned, “Capture her alive!”

Horus gave him a thumbs-up, and the four of them disappeared out the door. Darius watched them go, the worry on his face shifting to a pensive, planning expression. “You know, if this goes well, I might have a few other hunts for them. Terra’s not the only one who’s clinging to her old power.”

Phoenix grinned. “I’m sure they’d like that very much.”

Xxx

“Oop—watch the root—”

Phoenix caught Mole’s arm at Jason’s warning, keeping him upright when he stumbled. “Maybe we should take off the blindfold?” he suggested, “The footing’s getting a little treacherous.”

“But then it wouldn’t be a surprise!” Jason protested, “Maybe you could carry him?”

Mole’s nose scrunched up at the suggestion, and Phoenix shook his head. “Yeah, I don’t think he wants that.”

“Well, we’re almost there anyway. Come on.”

Phoenix didn’t pick Mole up, but he held his arm out for Mole to cling to and guided him slowly over the forest floor. Mole gave him a brief grateful smile, jabbing one finger at the blindfold and heaving a fond sigh.

“He’s a bit excited,” Phoenix agreed, “He’s been taking trips out here with Hunter and Willow an awful lot, but they’ve been tight-lipped about it to me, too.”

“Okay, Phoenix, now you have to close your eyes, too!”

“I thought this was a surprise for Mole?” Phoenix protested.

“It is,” Hunter agreed, appearing at Phoenix’s elbow with Flapjack in his staff form, “But it’s a surprise for everyone. Don’t worry, I’ve got you two.”

Phoenix closed his eyes. Hunter’s hand closed over his arm, and he heard the tell-tale sound of a flash-step, his balance just ever-so-slightly thrown off at the sudden change in placement.

“Okay, open them,” Jason ordered.

Phoenix opened his eyes, and beside him, Mole took off the blindfold.

A massive blue tree towered over them, blooming with blue leaves and flowers. Phoenix had never seen a tree like this, but something about it seemed… familiar. His skin crawled with that feeling of just knowing something, deep inside, like how his curse recognized Belos, but more positive.

“Is that… palistrom?” he asked.

Mole stepped forward as if in a trance, putting one hand on the massive blue trunk. He nodded in answer to Phoenix’s question, pressing his forehead to the bark like it was an old friend. Silent tears streamed down his face, and Phoenix remembered just how long ago Mole had technically been born. He must have been used to seeing palistrom forests peppering the Isles, and had woken up suddenly in a world without them.

“The palisman this tree could make,” Phoenix murmured, “It grew so big so fast!”

“Willow had a lot to do with that part,” Hunter explained, “But, well, there’s a reason there was a shortage for so long.”

“Palistrom were kept strictly monitored by Belos,” Phoenix remembered, “You think he kept them small on purpose? Of course he did,” he answered his own question, “Why wouldn’t he? The more magic stifled, the better.”

Hunter fidgeted, twisting his hands around each other. Jason nudged him. “Go on,” he whispered, “Tell them.”

“Tell us what?”

“I’m going to be a palisman carver,” Hunter burst out, “Caleb’s taught me some, and I’ve been talking to Eda’s dad, Dell—he was a professional carver, you know—and he’s going to take me on as an apprentice.” He looked up at the tree, eyes shining. “With the way this tree’s been growing and flowering, we should be able to repopulate the Isles with palistrom in no time. Luckily, the palistrom is a self-pollinating plant. And even just a solid branch from this tree—anyone can have a palisman. Everyone can.” He scratched the back of his neck shyly. “I was thinking… I was thinking I could carve one for Caleb first. Since… you know. He carved my palisman.”

Phoenix smiled warmly. “That sounds like a great idea.”

“And… I could carve one for everyone in the family. Or you could adopt!” he added quickly, “The Bat Queen has dozens of palisman looking for a home. But yes. I could carve one. Hypothetically. No promises yet, I’m still learning, but—oh, okay, you hate the idea.”

“What?” Phoenix reached up to find tears running from his eyes. “No—no, Hunter, I don’t hate the idea, I…” he searched for the right words to describe how he felt. A palisman? For him? He’d never even considered it, not with the life he’d lived. The curse curled up inside him rumbled at the idea, but he couldn’t tell if it was the remnants of Belos protesting, the palisman eager for a palisman of their own outside of him, or something hungrier. “Is that a good idea?” he said finally, “I mean, with…” he gestured to his arms.

“Do you want one?” Jason asked.

“Yes.” The word slipped out of Phoenix’s mouth almost without a thought. He hadn’t realized he wanted one until now, but he knew it deep inside, watching Flapjack and Hunter. “I do.”

“Then we’ll find a way to make it work,” Jason said firmly, “Whatever that means.”

Mole nodded joining them. He pointed to himself, tilting his head in a question.

“Yeah, of course I can make one for you,” Hunter interpreted, “Any idea what you’d want? We can always go the egg route if not. Sounds pretty easy to carve, too.”

A mischievous grin crept over Mole’s face, and he pointed to himself again. Hunter frowned.

“I don’t know what you’re asking—sorry, we’ll figure it ou—”

Jason groaned. “Oh, no. You want a mole for a palisman, don’t you?”

Mole nodded vigorously, breaking off into peals of laughter. Phoenix groaned with Jason, but Mole’s laughter was infectious, and a smile took over his face despite himself.

Palisman for us. It didn’t seem right—not after all the palisman he’d handed over to Belos. Maybe Mole or Jason deserved one—after all, Belos had tried to kill Jason for protecting the little creatures. Phoenix? He’d never even considered another option besides giving them to their doom.

But Flapjack sat scarred and proud on Hunter’s shoulder despite everything, like a beacon saying it’s possible; you just have to want it enough, and the tree loomed over them, big, and beautiful, and strong despite what Belos had tried to do to its species, and right here, in this forest, Phoenix did want it.

We’ll find a way to make it work.

Xxx

Phoenix climbed out an attic hatch onto the roof—another holdover from the old house’s design. He didn’t quite join Cherry where he sat on the edge of the roof, legs dangling over, but he sat down close.

“I thought this was Jason’s brooding spot. Enjoying the view?”

Cherry glanced back at him. “It’s quieter than I thought it would be.”

“Hm?”

Cherry waved a hand at the town sprawling in the near distance. “I thought it would be noisy, living so much closer to other people. But in the evening, if I close my eyes, it’s almost like nothing’s changed. It’s like we’re still back in the forest, and we’re all together. No one’s left and gone where I can’t protect them. And then I open my eyes, and… it’s all so different now.”

“It’s not a bad thing. They’ll be okay.”

“Mm.” Cherry stared out over the town again, his hair almost red in the light of the setting sun. “You ever think it was strange, how close to Belos we were hiding? I mean, the third rib? We might as well have been on his doorstep. But we weren’t discovered. Somehow, we were never discovered. Somehow, Mom and Dad managed to save every one of us, no matter how badly we were injured. Isn’t that odd? We didn’t lose a single person.”

He ran a hand through his hair. “Belos always said loss was so necessary, and I believed him. I saw it firsthand, how sometimes people had to be sacrificed. We were some of those people. But somehow, no one died. None of us—despite how many people we killed, not one of us went down. Why did we get to survive when so many people didn’t?” He chuckled, a low, humorless sound. “Doesn’t that seem so improbable, when you think about it? Belos might have been lying about the titan having plans for us, but sometimes it almost does feel like there’s some higher power out there who’s decided to keep us alive.”

“Or one determined human and witch.” Phoenix scooted closer to Cherry, eying the edge of the roof. “It does seem improbable,” he admitted, “People died—and we were responsible some of the time. But we all made it. Against the odds. I think this family is good at that.”

Cherry heaved a sigh. “But what’s the point, if we’re not going to stick together? What’s the point, if after everything, everyone goes their separate ways? We got so far, only to fall apart at the end.”

“We’re not falling apart.” Phoenix looked up at the moon and stars slowly replacing the sun as the brightest things in the sky. “You know… I used to see Darius every day. I’d take him with me on missions. I’d test his skills, but I was always there to protect him if something happened. But when I first woke up with Caleb and Evelyn… he’d grown. He was a capable adult who could handle himself. And that was a hard thing to accept. If he didn’t need me to protect him, if he didn’t need a mentor, then what use was I to him?”

Phoenix smiled. “But we haven’t fallen apart yet. Maybe he doesn’t need a mentor anymore. Maybe he doesn’t need my protection. But I think he still needs me. Just me, because I’m me and that’s enough of a reason.” Phoenix nudged Cherry’s shoulder. “It’s not going to be the same. They’re not going to be as close. They won’t always need your protection anymore. And that’s going to be difficult to get used to. But I don’t think they’ll ever stop needing you.”

Cherry watched the sun finally disappear completely over the horizon, silent until it was gone. “I don’t want our lives to change,” he said finally, “I think I’m glad for the others finding what they want, but I’m not sure who I am without them. I’ve been looking after them for so long, trying to forget the past for so long… I don’t want to be left alone with myself.”

“Hm.” Phoenix leaned back, finally kicking his legs over the edge of the roof and sitting fully next to Cherry. “Well. I can tell you some good news about that.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yes. Even if they all leave, even if we all go our separate ways, you aren’t going to be alone, Cherry. We will always have your back. We’ll only be one raven call away.”

A smile flashed across Cherry’s face. “You’re going to have to teach me how to use one.”

“Oh. Right.”

“But… thanks, Phoenix. For having my back.”

Xxx

Despite Phoenix’s late start, his room filled up over months of living. Mole commandeered his window space with new plants, human realm varieties that Camila shared. Light blue walls were quickly covered over with scribbles that Ghost had presented him, and photos Willow shared. She always seemed to be dropping by, picking up Hunter or Jason or both of them. Sometimes, even Mole went along to visit the palistrom tree. Little practice wood carvings that Hunter made with Caleb and Dell surrounded the photograph Darius had given to him. Hunter hadn’t carved any palisman for the family besides Mole’s mole, but one day, Jason came back from the human realm library with a massive book full of animal pictures that he and Phoenix pored over for hours, looking for a creature that felt right.

Jason tapped one foot. “We’re going to be late. Hunter and Willow are outside waiting.”

“Yeah, yeah, give me a second. We’ll have at least half an hour while Caleb and Flapjack catch up.” Phoenix drank an elixir. Today had been a good day for the curse, but he didn’t want to push it staying up late.

Jason wandered over to the window, peering into the garden. “He’s gotten taller than me,” he grumbled, “Traitor. I’ll be inconsolable if Ghost gets big like that. I cannot be the shortest in the family.”

Phoenix ruffled his hair, his arm braces clicking gently at the movement. “Aw, don’t you want to stay the baby forever? You don’t want to be Evelyn’s little snuggle buddy?”

“I will always be Mom’s little snuggle buddy, thank you very much, but that doesn’t mean I have to be the shortest. Ghost has to be shorter. They have to.”

“Do not.” Ghost wrinkled their nose at Jason from the doorway. “I’m gonna be so big. Gonna eat griffins. In one bite.”

“Don’t let Joseph hear you say that,” Phoenix joked, “He’ll disown you.”

Ghost squeaked, tugging on Phoenix’s arm. “Nee-Nee, it’s time to go,” they said impatiently, “I wanna see King.”

“Alright, I’m coming, I’m coming.”

Phoenix followed Ghost downstairs. Hunter chattered excitedly to Caleb about the palisman he was working on, and Willow gave Jason their customary bow and exchange of royal titles.

“I can just walk, right?” Phoenix asked Hunter.

“Low and slow,” Hunter promised.

“You never actually mean that,” Phoenix grumbled, but he sat behind Hunter anyway, picking Ghost up and holding them tightly in his lap.

Hunter did fly too fast and too high for Phoenix’s taste, but Willow and Jason still beat them by a mile, so he supposed Hunter had been taking it easy on him.

Ghost squirmed out of Phoenix’s lap almost before they’d completely landed, bolting to tackle King in a hug. The titan fell in mock defeat.

“Curses! You’ve defeated the king of the demons this time, little Ghost!”

“She’s coming!” Eda called, “Everyone ready?”

Luz walked through the door, and the quinceañera passed by in a blur of well-wishes and laughter. Phoenix exchanged smiles and hellos with what seemed like everyone on the Isles.

“You thought any more about the mentoring offer? The university’s really taking off.”

Phoenix smiled tiredly in response to Eda. “I’d need a way to get there. Getting Ghost to Hexside is going to be tricky enough.”

“Man. Get a palisman already, would ya?”

Eda’s grin dispelled any bite to the words, but Phoenix’s attention hung fully on the portal door hanging wide open behind her. He glanced around to make sure Ghost was safe—they chased happily after Flapjack, who Phoenix was relatively certain was one of the more responsible people here—and quickly pushed through into the human realm before he could convince himself not to.

Creak.

Phoenix’s eyes darted over furniture that formed monsters and familiar specters in the dark. Wait a minute…

“Petro?” he called, just in case.

“No,” Jason’s voice called from the basement, “Just me.”

Phoenix creaked his way down the stairs to the basement, wincing at every sound. He sat on the bottom of the stairs next to Jason. “Hey.”

“Hey.” Jason gestured out towards the mound where Phoenix knew Belos’ remains lay. “Do you ever wake up and just… forget for a minute that he’s gone?”

Phoenix rubbed his arms. A part of Belos would always live in him, in the curse—for him the problem was more remembering that he was gone at all. “Sometimes,” he admitted, “I’m guessing you do.”

Jason sighed. “I know it’s been years, but… sometimes it just doesn’t feel real. Sometimes I feel like he’s still coming for me. I mean, after all he’s survived, how can I even truly be sure he’s gone?” He rested his chin on his knees. “I don’t know if I’ll ever really believe it.”

Phoenix chuckled dryly. “Can you imagine how furious he’d be if he was still alive?”

Jason cracked a smile at that. “A university of wild magic?” he joked, “He’s probably spinning in his grave fast enough to generate the electricity needed to power this whole neighborhood. Not to mention us.”

“Not to mention us,” Phoenix echoed, “He’d be devastated if he knew we were happy.”

“Guess we better keep being happy, then. Just to spite him.” Jason’s smile faded, and he went back to looking over Belos’ grave.

Phoenix nudged his shoulder. “Hey,” he said quietly, “He’s dead. For real this time. He’s not coming back. But when it feels like he might, when it feels like he’s going to jump out of nowhere and sink his claws into you… you know where to find me. Or Cherry. Or Caleb, or Evelyn, or Mole, or anyone else. You’re going to be okay.”

“Yeah. I think I am.”

Jason got up, stretching and offering his hand to Phoenix. “Let’s get out of here.”

Phoenix happily obeyed, following Jason back into light and laughter. Ghost wandered over, their eyelids drooping. Flapjack chirped an admonishment, tugging affectionately on their hair.

“Hey, Ghost,” Phoenix said quietly, crouching down next to them, “You all tired out?”

They rubbed their eyes. “I’m not sleepy,” they said stubbornly, in spite of their giant yawn, “I just… want to go to bed and rest my eyes.”

“Fair enough.” Phoenix scooped Ghost up, holding them as easily as if they were still a toddler. “Come on. Let’s go home.”

[hellraisered]

hi here 2 ask for ash williams being really gay w/ his bf post army of darkness. just soft shit. him being like "damn i rlly take u for granted. love u or something" ya idk im just yearning

ash williams / reader || fluff 001

“Really gave this guy what for at work today,” Ash said, tossing his car keys on the table. 

"Welcome home," you replied from the couch, glancing up at him over your magazine.

He's wrestling the shirt off of his body, not even taking the time to unfasten any buttons. He's eager to peel the uniform off of his skin after a long day of stocking and taking more smoke breaks than he should. The shirt is crumpled between his fingers, and without looking, he lobs the ball of fabric in the general direction of the hamper. Only by sheer chance does he make his goal, the sleeve hanging partially out of the wire basket.

In a few ways, he was a predictable man, and you sort of liked that about him. It was nice for someone so present in your life to have some form of consistency. He walks over to the kitchen, and you can hear the opening of the fridge and the faint clinking of bottles as he acquired his after-work beer, one of his many daily rituals. 

"Well, aren't you gonna ask me what happened?" He shouts, turning to look over his shoulder while rummaging through food, prompted by your lack of proper acknowledgement. You snort, knowing that he was going to tell you regardless of your response. 

"Do tell," you say, perhaps a bit sarcastically, tilting your head to the side. It's evident by the quiet huff that follows, and the shutting of the fridge, along with no bottle in his hand, that he didn't find what he was looking for. Not all is lost, though, and you hear the sound of a belt being unbuckled and the rustling of denim hitting the floor. Regardless of the letdown, he struts back into the living room in nothing but his boxers with the confidence of a man about to recreate a scenario with an unnecessary amount of enthusiasm. You place your magazine on your chest, propping yourself from your horizontal position, and allow him your attention. 

Ash's hands settle on his hips, and from this angle, you could see the slight glint of his top scars catching a sliver of light. 

"So there I was," he starts, splaying his hands toward you, "Replenishing the plums in isle seven - and I hate isle seven. You know, the one I told you about before? With the leaky cooling vent, and a perfect view of the manager's office so you can't relax on the job?" 

He mimes taking a hit off of a blunt to indicate what exact kind of relaxation he was thinking of. You stifle a laugh and furrow your eyebrows, pointing at him a pseudo-judgemental look.

"Come on," he says, looking at you incredulously. "Like you've never had fun on the clock before. Anyway, like I was saying - there I was, putting together a really fantastic fruit pyramid, and I mean really fantastic, when Mister 'I-want-a-fruit-at-the-very-bottom-of-the-pyramid' comes over and guess what?"

"He took the fruit at the very bottom of the p-"

"He took the fruit at the very bottom of the god damn pyramid. And they all came down. It was like a healthy avalanche." 

Ash looks off into the distance for a moment, as if remembering the event down to the finest detail. There's an empty look in his eyes.

"And you know, this clown just started to walk away back to his shopping cart. I couldn't believe it. So you know what I did?" 

He points an index towards you, quiet for a moment. Presumably to build up suspense.

"I put a hand on that guy's shoulder, and said 'Where are you going, buster? Pick. These. Up.'"

Ash's arm is extended, and his hand is clasped around the shoulder of this imaginary man. You get the feeling that he's retelling this in a slightly more heroic lens, but he seems satisfied with himself. He didn't say anything else, though, so you spoke up.

"Well? What did he say?"

"He, uh, he said 'No'. And then he went and told my supervisor that I touched him. But let me tell you, I bet he was real intimidated for a second there. Real intimidated." 

"I bet he was. Did you manage to rebuild your fruit pyramid?" You're not going to be the one to shatter his ego. Not that you think that was even possible, anyhow. 

"Oh, nah. I just went to go take a shit and made it someone else's problem." 

"What would S-Mart do without you?" 

"That's what I'm saying. Hey - did you know that we're out of beer?" He says, pointing a finger in the direction of the fridge. 

"No we're not," You reply, pointing at the sweating six pack sitting on the coffee table. You'd made sure to pull it out before he got home, and were just waiting for him to notice it at this point. "Got some on the way home earlier today." 

Ash stares at the six-pack that had been sitting right below his nose, and then looks at you with a baffling amount of appreciation in his eyes - the sort of fondness a rescue dog had for its owner. 

He approaches you on the couch, and now he’s closer you realize that he is ridiculously sweaty. Before you get a chance to protest, he's pulled your back toward his front on the couch, and places a kiss on the top of your scalp. 

"God, I take you for granted." 

He threads an arm underneath your armpit and holds you closer. He places another kiss on your cheek. You turn to look at him over your shoulder, and he takes the opportunity to kiss you squarely on the mouth. 

"Have I ever told you I loved you?" 

"Yeah, a couple times, I think." You tease, stroking the side of his jaw with the back of your hand. "But you know how you can really show me you love me?" You continue, voice tinged with the smallest hint of promise. 

"How?" Ash asks, thinking he knew where this was going.

You kiss him on the cheek. "You can pick your jeans up off of the kitchen floor."

[sevilemar]

Wanna share a little snake sec revenge story with y'all:

I am doing a 'get help with finding a new job' course atm. For the first time, I introduced myself as nonbinary in a prefessional-ish setting, and I got a pained look from the instructor for my troubles, and an audible sigh from the direction of two guys, the oldest and the youngest. Dunno who it was. So I took it upon myself (or rather the opportunities presented themselves so beautifully), to make all of them eat their shit.

The first recess we got, I saw the oldest guy coming towards me while I was eating my breakfast. I made eye contact, was open and inviting in my body language, and when he sat down next to me, we talked in what I call working-class-guy mentality, dashed with enough of his regional accent to make him comfortable. He ended up driving me home after class every day.

For the instructor, I was my usual 'helpful in a training' self, which means paying attention to their words, reacting with laughs and body language, and asking good questions. Also being on time and helping others, but I do that anyway.

And for the personal touch, I mimed my final presentation. Didn't say a word except for answering questions at the end. Why? Because I could, and because the instructor jokingly said in the beginning that we might even dance the presentation, as long as the others understand. And apparently, my miming and powerpoint skills are good enough. Now, whenever she makes that joke, she will have to think of me :P

Incidentally, my success with the presentation was also the moment I felt true respect from the youngest guy. He was very no-nonsense with his facts, and brash in his manner, quite confrontational at times. Beautiful young lion sec, and possible double lion, if you ask me.

Anyway, he was very down to earth and respected results and competence, so I gave hime a bit of contra in some insignificant class discussions (early bird vs. night owl), and then the 'agree to disagree' line as to not disrupt class. I also asked down-to-earth questions at his presentation. In the end, I could see the respect after my presentation, and he didn't even had anything contrary to say about it.

I made all three people who had obvious negative reactions to my gender identity leave with a positive impression of me as a person. And because I'm likely the only openly nonbinary person they'll ever meet, I forced them into associating nonbinary with someone positive, however fleeting and insubstantial. If that's not a petty, personal, and positive revenge, then I don't know what is.

[jsbmarketresearch01]

Apple Inc. to Add Touchscreen Feature to Mac Computers Soon

Apple Inc. is working on a project that will make Mac computers equipped with a touchscreen, an idea that was earlier defied by the co-founder Steve Jobs. However, for the first time, iPad will not be the only option with a touch interface, but a launch date has not been finalized yet. An inside source revealed that the Mac touch-screen computers can emerge in 2025 as an update to the section of MacBook Pro.

Apple shares on Wednesday stood at a value of $133.49, a gain of 2.15%, and the stock so far in 2023 is up by 2.7%. The MacBook Pro in question will have a traditional design with a keyboard and trackpad along with a touchscreen. The added feature will support gestures and inputs to mime that of an iPad or iPhone. As the preference goes, the touch support can also be inculcated in other Mac models.

An upgrade may also see the displays to OLED technology or organic light-emitting diode. At the present, Mac computers use liquid crystal displays (LCDs). It is only the Apple watches and iPhones that have the OLED to date. The OLED screens give better color and brightness, which will be introduced in the first half of 2024 in iPad Pro. The first Mac touchscreen may use the macOS.

Previously, Steve Jobs and his successor Tim Cook, the CEO were of the opinion that blending laptops and tablets are like combining a refrigerator with a toaster and the touch surfaces are not inclined to be vertical. But a change was seen first when the company combined iPad apps with Mac in 2018. And in 2020, Apple Inc. allowed the iPhone apps to even work on its computers.

The recourse by Apple to produce a touchscreen for Mac computers is primarily to step up to competition to its rivals such as Microsoft, Dell Technologies Inc., Lenovo Group Ltd., HP Inc., Acer Inc., and Samsung Electronics Co, who already have touchscreen facilities for their laptops and computers.

Apple has recently announced a major change to its line of Mac computers with the introduction of new touchscreen Macs. This is a significant departure from the traditional non-touchscreen Macs that have been available for purchase in the past. This new addition to the Mac line represents a significant shift in the way we use computers and it could change the future of computing. The new touch screen Macs are now available for purchase and it has been designed to provide users with a more intuitive and interactive computing experience. The touch screen technology allows users to interact with their devices in a new and more convenient way, and it's expected to set a new standard in the personal computing industry. With this major turnabout, Apple is leading the way in innovation and it's poised to change the game in the world of computing.

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[cryxmercy]

PotW Solo: No Mime Like the Present

Mercy’s mime comes for her at the worst possible moment. 

POTW solo that takes place at the same time as this. 

TW: Blood, gore, dismemberment, guns, injuries, body mutilation, horror, death 

Mercy was restless. All night she’d tossed and turned, covered in a cold sweat, sheets twisted around her feet… her mind caught in that ephemeral space between dreaming and waking. She was no Seer… no prophet of any sort. But many of her dreams had a nasty habit of foretelling things to come. They always had. 

But it was pain that woke her, not dreams. Sharp and searing, taking her breath even as she cried out at the fire that pierced her chest not once, not twice, but three times. Fire, followed by a nearly unbearable pressure that threatened to collapse her lungs and crush her ribs. A fire that was matched by the white-hot flash of pain across the scar on her palm. A pain that hadn’t been shared in over a millenia. Until Arthur had renewed the age-old bond between them, in saving Mercy from the wraith, and remade the mark that mirrored her own. A mark that had burned away at the end of his first lifetime. 

Yet Mercy’s mark had remained as unchanging as the Fury herself. Faded slightly with time, it had always been a beacon, guiding her to him in every lifetime. Letting her know when he was injured or even dying. 

This pain Mercy knew better than anything she’d ever experienced. The searing pain of a blade as it punctured vulnerable flesh. Tearing through skin and bone, muscle and viscera… until it found something vital. Something that would bleed… 

Something that would kill.  

Mercy knew this better than she knew her own name. 

Because it had happened before. 

But not to her. 

“No… nonononono… not again… not-” She coughed violently, stumbling to her knees as she tried to roll out of bed. It felt like… she couldn’t breathe… even though she knew she was doing just that. Her phone was on the bedside table, and Mercy reached for it, forcing herself to slow  her breathing - and reminding herself again that she was, in fact, doing so - before hitting Arthur’s contact information. She forced herself to her feet as the phone rang. And rang. And rang again. “Goddamit, Ren,” Mercy cursed as Arthur’s voicemail picked up. She was as close to panicking as she’d been in years.  

“Ren… Ren, pick up the phone. Please… please pick up phone.” The signal seemed to wobble a bit, but Mercy kept talking. “I know something happened. I felt it. Just like… just like before and I need-” The sound of glass breaking came from Mercy’s front room. She paused, phone still to her ear. When Loki came streaking into her bedroom to hide under the bed, Mercy blamed the shattered glass on the overly curious cat, and finished throwing on her shoes. “I’m coming over. Gods if you get this... call the cops. And please be careful. Please don’t die…” 

There was another small crash as Mercy’s cell service cut out completely. She glanced at her bed where Loki was hiding, and then back to the open bedroom door. The fire in her chest hadn’t gone away, but it was far less searing now. Which meant Arthur was still alive, whatever had happened. She had to get to him regardless. Because this couldn’t happen again. She wouldn’t let it. 

But something wasn’t right. Something that prickled the hairs on her arm and made her freeze in place, listening for anything that might be moving in the other room. There was the smallest sound… a shuffling of something soft, like socks over a wooden floor. Or gloved hands being dragged along the wall. 

Mercy had been alive long enough to know when something was trying to draw her out. Something that seemed to know better than to enter the room with her. Gods, she didn’t have time for this bullshit. Sliding her phone into her pocket, Mercy reached for the pistol she kept in the top drawer of her nightstand. She might prefer blades and arrows to firearms, but currently she had no real choice. 

The shuffling came again, and Mercy eased into the hallway, weapon raised. Almost immediately, a dark silhouette stood out against the window. Eerily familiar, but also not. 

“Turn around, hands where I can see them,” Mercy said, focusing her weapon on the figure’s center of mass. Surprisingly, the figure did as she asked. It turned, raising it’s arms out to the side. Mercy stayed where she was, ignoring the creeping of gooseflesh over her arms, and the fiery ache in her chest that was far more urgent. “Step into the light. Slowly.” 

Again, the figure did what was asked of it. Whoever or whatever Mercy had suspected this person to be, the absolute last thing she expected was to watch as the light from her bedroom illuminated a set of hands covered in soft, white gloves. Attached to arms and chest banded in black and white that was much too form-fitting to be cloth. And then… her own face staring back at her from beneath a pallor of messy white paint, a slash of red across her mouth, like smeared lipstick… though it glistened a bit too brightly. The eyes were pools of black pitch, not the odd violet color of Mercy’s, and as she watched in frozen horror, the… thing… moved one if it’s gloved hands to it’s cheek, tipping it’s head a bit too far to the side as it mimed tears falling down it’s painted face.  

“I said, don’t move,” Mercy reiterated, tightening her grip on her weapon. Fuck this thing. 

But even then, it had the audacity to mimic her, even raising it’s hands to mime holding a gun. Except unlike Mercy, who would rather not discharge a firearm in a building occupied by other people, the mime did just that. Or… mimed it. 

‘Pew-pew’ it seemed to say. 

The searing heat across the side of Mercy’s neck and into her shoulder were, however, very, very real. As was the blood that ran hot and fast from the wounds as the Fury staggered back under the force of her mime-self’s ‘bullets.’ There was a split-second of shock, followed by Mercy pressing a hand to her neck to stave the flow of blood until it could heal itself - the shoulder was less of a priority, even though the wound had already soaked her shirt - after which Mercy unloaded almost her entire clip into her mime-self’s chest. The creature staggered back under the onslaught, just as Mercy had, except it went down hard, slumping against the wall and leaving behind a streak of crimson and black gore as it slid to the floor. 

Mercy coughed wetly, spitting out a mouthful of blood as she put her last two bullets into the mime’s skull. It twitched grotesquely, spattering her with gore. Mercy backed away, slipping a bit in the mess that coated the floorboards. She watched the body for a moment, wincing as she felt the ��bullet’ in her shoulder start to move as her body fought to heal itself, and when the crimson-spattered fingers of one of it’s gloved hands started to twitch, Mercy realized that like herself, there was likely only one way to kill this thing. 

By the time Mercy staggered back into the hall, the glint of steel visible in the hand not pressed to her neck, her mime-self was getting to it’s feet. Riddled with bullet holes, it looked at her with it’s one good eye, while the bloody, black cavity of the other mangled socket oozed black ichor down the painted face. It mimed dragging a sword, just as Mercy was, tipping it’s horrible, destroyed face to the side again. 

Mercy was done playing games. The fluttering heat in her chest was growing weaker, which meant Arthur was- 

 Without warning, Mercy slashed the sword up and across. The mime brought its own ‘sword’ over and down, deflecting the blow and locking the point of the blade against the floor, just as Mercy would have. Then it grinned at her, showing a mouth full of teeth stained black with gore. 

It was still grinning when Mercy slammed a second blade into the soft patch beneath its jaw. Concealed along the forearm that had been crossed against her chest, the hilt palmed in the hand pressed to the wound in her neck, the dagger was long and wickedly sharp. There was a wet ‘thud’ as it hit bone, and the mime jerked violently. It’s grin fell flat, mouth opening in a silent scream of fury as it tried to raise the sword again. But it was too late. Mercy jerked the dagger to the side, opening up the mime’s throat from ear to ear. Blood sprayed in a violent spurt and the action caused the mime to reach for Mercy with both hands, releasing the ‘sword’ in the process. 

That was all Mercy needed. Dropping the dagger and grabbing the mime by the hair, Mercy gave a savage pull and let the mime’s own weight carry it to the ground. It flailed and ‘screamed,’ feet kicking wildly against the floorboards even as the bloodied socks it wore muffled the sound. Putting a knee into the small of it’s back, Mercy slammed it’s face against the floorboards over and over until the hard crack of bone had turned to something far more malleable and wet. Then she wrenched it’s head back as far as she could, the savage wound in it’s neck gaping wide. With a savageness that was both horrific and brutally efficient, Mercy used her sword to finish it. The body gave a violent shudder as it’s head rolled away, leaving a trail of pink-tinged paint smeared across the floor. Mercy stood up, breathing hard and covered in gore, grimacing as her own wounds pulled and throbbed. And as the entire creature started to bubble and writhe. Soon there was nothing left but a puddle of black gore. 

“Motherfucker.” Mercy spat a mouthful of blood at the remains of the mime before dropping the sword in the hallway and heading for the door. She didn’t care what she looked like. Or that she was injured. The wounds were already healing. But the burning in her chest was fading. That frightened her more than anything. Another call to Arthur went unanswered, and Mercy didn’t even bother with her helmet as she climbed on her bike and raced across town to Arthur’s house. 

When she got there, she very nearly wrecked her bike trying to get it parked. There were police. And crime scene tape. And… gods… blood. So much blood. And… pools of water. Nonononono-“ARTHUR!!” Mercy screamed, breaking the police barrier and running towards the house. She was stopped by several officers, and after being threatened with arrest if she didn’t calm down and stop fighting them so they could help her, Mercy finally got an answer about what had happened to her friend. She only needed to hear the word ‘hospital’ to ignore their questions - due to her visibly distraught and bloodied state - and break every traffic law in town as she raced her bike towards the ER. Hoping that the old adage of history repeating itself would, for once in Mercy’s long, chaotic life, not come true. 

*

[that-was-anticlimactic]

sk8 headcanons because i am Bored

autistic langa likes frozen fruit a lot—strawberries are his favorite—because he likes the cool texture

reki has lip freckles that really stand out after he’s been in the sun a lot ! there’s like four or five of them :)

just thinking about “all those friday nights / under the lights / under the bleachers together / you and i were meant to be something more than a faded memory / till you and i / something divided us” but matchablossom,,,

“but i’ve already lost it once / what i already won / i’ve lost too much now to care / but i know that something’s still there” ,,, matchablossom,,, ahhhhh

miya and shadow being besties,,, shadow being miya’s parental figure and miya being his adopted nb child,,,

shadow being the first person miya comes out as nonbinary to,,,

adam going to jail,,,

reki having a stuffed animal collection and letting miya name some and then realizing that miya never had a stuffed animal growing up so reki gives miya one of his older ones that he loved as a child and then buys them a new one too… and miya asks reki to name it for them because sentiments,,,

after seeing the girl he had a crush on kiss someone else, shadow takes out his feelings on the only thing he knows how to—skating at s but he’s not in a good mind and he feels sick because he thought he thought he thought he had a chance and he doesn’t pay close enough attention and gets hurt and miya calls him an idiot and patches him up and shadow feels like a kid again but it’s kind of nice to have someone else actually help with his wounds instead of just attempting to wash them and then cover them with makeup by himself,,,

joe and shadow bonding over hating the feeling of loneliness so they make up for it the only way they know how which is being loud and being extra because they don’t feel as lonely if they’re loud

reki, miya, and cherry = adhd club

cherry and reki drawing together… and reki teaching cherry how to be more loose and carefree when he draws and cherry teaching reki how to add more structure to his art,,,

langa stealing and wearing reki’s headbands,,,

langa with glasses

reki’s sisters doing cherry and joe’s hair,,, or even reki, langa, and miya doing their hair and shadow just watches and takes pictures and reki puts cherry’s hair in fishtails because he had practice with his sisters and cherry secretly likes it (and so does joe) and miya and langa just. completely messing up joe’s hair and putting hair clips in it and langa attempts a ponytail kind of like how cherry does his hair at s (and no cherry did Not find it very attractive shut up)

shadow being a scrapbooker and having like ten scrapbooks from his life,,,

shadow not being as good of an artist as cherry or reki but he does it because he enjoys it and when cherry and reki find out they invite him to draw with them

the crew / sk8 fam all going to shadow’s house and doing a couple scrapbook pages together and it’s a mess but it’s them and it’s one of shadow’s favorite pages because he’s never scrapbooked with anyone before

langa is just naturally beautiful and photogenic so the art squad always asks him to model for them if they want to draw people

joe has depression because i want him to

and shadow has anxiety

because i do Not want any of them to be neurotypical

yeah so joe has depression, shadow has anxiety, cherry has add and anxiety, miya had adhd and separation anxiety, langa is autistic, reki has tourette’s and adhd and depression ✌🏻

when miya gets old enough, shadow gets them a part time job at the flower shop

miya likes a lot of pillows

langa sleeps with no pillows (unless reki is partially his pillow)

thinking about after reki’s second beef with adam,,, joe after he tells adam off and they’re away from the crowd, he passes out because let’s be real—there is absolutely no way he didn’t get injured and the worse one is probably a broken nose and a huge gash at the back of his head with like skin peeling and stuff like need stitches so the gang all goes to cherry’s and they help patch reki up

somewhere in that time the love hotel gets brought up and by extension getting hit by the car and getting beat up and joe and shadow are on the verge of slamming their heads against the wall at reki’s nonchalantness

and reki’s p injured so he’s laying in the couch with his head resting in langa’s lap,,,

joe tells everyone embarrassing cherry stories from school like all the time (but joe was a foolish child so cherry gets revenge)

miya likes crime documentaries

joe unironically watched supernatural and that’s part of the reason why he and cherry broke up

(maybe joe just thought dean was attractive—sue him!)

lol wait what if cherry sued adam to pay for reki’s medical bills since they inevitably had to take him to the hospital

cherry constantly tells joe that he will sue him

joe may unironically watched spn, but cherry unironically watched glee

langa wrote destiel fanfiction once upon a time

langa wrote cas bakes dean a pie--

miya is carla’s favorite (after cherry)

cherry and langa with weighted blankets also

sometimes reki steals langa’s but only if he stays the night or langa brings it over and usually if he “steals” it, it’s them sharing it or reki needs the comfort of the weight if he’s not having a good time mentally lol

joe with depression,,, i just think about that a lot sometimes,,, sometimes cooking feels meaningless and, like langa, he only feels something when he skates but it’s only this temporary feeling of joy and life,,,

and shadow with anxiety,,, over-compensating his anxiety by being shadow at night and being over the top and sometimes mean because internalized ableism,,, and if he pretends he doesn’t have anxiety then maybe he won’t feel it late at night or when everything seems to go wrong during a shift at work and he keeps dropping flowers because his hands are shaking and girls don’t like guys with anxiety, right ??? so shadow thinks that he CAN’T have anxiety :/// poor dude

miya with separation anxiety pushing people away before they get attached because if they push them away before they become friends, then they wouldn’t be able to leave them,,,

langa always bouncing his foot in class and all the time because it’s his main form of stimming (look at that boy and try to tell me he doesn’t bounce his legs like there’s no tomorrow i dare you) and sometimes it makes his legs sore and cherry and joe once recommended using a heating pad if it got really sore and langa does sometimes and it makes him happy

reki with ts having anxiety when he has to speak in front of the class / do presentations because he’s hyper-aware of his tics,,, so he always meets langa’s eyes and watches langa the whole time and langa sometimes mimes taking deep breaths which really helps but honestly just seeing langa makes reki feel like he can do anything (because he would do anything for langa)

cherry doodling to stim as a child and always getting in trouble for it because teachers used to like get pissed when students doodled (or maybe they still do and it’s just always been pissy teachers and not specifically teachers when our parents were kids) and eventually cherry got fed up with getting points docked for doodling so he started writing lists and stuff and been realized he had impeccable handwriting (also joe let cherry doodle on his hand during classes they had together so cherry wouldn’t get in trouble)

cherry once had a dream that he was rachel berry and joe was finn uhh *insert last name here* from glee and joe had a beautiful voice when they sang duets in his dream so he managed to convince joe to sing in reality and turns out joe cannot sing and cherry’s glee dreams were never the same (look i am tired lol)

joe likes being the strong one in the group and he enjoys being able to mess around / show off by just casually picking people up (he also does it as an expression of love because they’re basically hugs depending on how he holds you) and one day cherry is like… done with it ??? and just strolls up to joe and just throws him over his shoulder or something and joe combusts because he did Not know cherry can do that and no his face isn’t red shut up he doesn’t find this attractive what’re you talking about

miya wants a sword and keeps trying to convince everyone to get them one for their birthday but no one will agree because ‘they’ll hurt themselves and everyone else it does not matter that all your favorite characters have swords that does not mean You should have one’

langa is the kind of person that puts peanut butter on a cheeseburger

reki’s love language is a mix of gift giving and acts of service, but he tends to lean more towards giving gifts. his receiving love language is words of affirmation but he does Not know that yet (langa does—hence his constant “you’re amazing, reki”—and eventually so does the rest of their gang lol)

shadow likes theatre

miya has internet friends,,, so does cherry,,,

joe posts those affirmations on his story all the time

reki’s texts are sometime hard to read because a) his hands get injured a lot and b) tourette’s but langa (and soon the others) learn how to read reki texts

langa sleeps with a fan on for white noise

shadow was worried (and feeling a little left out but if he doesn’t acknowledge it, then that emotion is not real… that’s how that works, right???) since he was in the hospital when reki skated against adam the second time, so when they all went back to cherry’s to tend to reki’s numerous wounds and also celebrate friendship, miya kept shadow on a face time call the entire evening

langa has an android phone

reki is super comfortable with periods because he lives with five girls—he also usually has a couple of pads and tampons on him at all times because he’s the older sibling lol

langa wears socks with sandals,,, so does shadow,,,

shadow’s feet get cold easily so he wears fluffy socks a lot

cherry keeps his fingernails at the perfect length to dramatically tap them against the table (also to freak people out by doing that)

miya is Not a morning person

miya also likes having the windows to shadow’s car rolled up because their hair gets in their face otherwise but shadow likes them down so it’s this constant struggle

i still stand by cherry suing ad*m and using the money he won to pay for reki’s medical bills (… and shadow’s… and langa’s if he needs any)

i just feel like many people have reason to sue ad*m

ponytail langa rights

joe had really bad acne as a child and teen and cherry helped him feel less self-conscious about it and helped him embrace having acne and that’s one reason why he exposes so much skin as joe because it’s a reminder of personal growth <3

also joe has acne scars on his chin and cheeks

joe has cherry’s calligraphy all over his walls

ik i already said so in reki with ts headcanons but he doodles pictures for everyone in the sk8 fam and they all keep each and every one and shadow even puts them in his scrapbook

let langa punch adam 2k21

let reki punch adam 2k21

actually they All deserve to punch adam 2k21

miya’s favorite movie is coraline

langa can’t snap his fingers

joe and cherry always argue over whether even numbers or odd numbers are best

miya does esports

joe was in marching band and was in drumline

cherry stays up late to look at the stars and he had those plastic stars taped to his ceiling as a child

reki eats tomatoes like apples and it makes joe want to cry

okay if the atla & and the sk8 characters became internet friends… these are who i think they’d be internet friends with…

cherry: katara

joe: suki

langa: sokka

miya: aang

reki: zuko

shadow: toph

note: suki, joe, miya, and aang are all actually besties. aang is the kind of person that would usually annoy miya but they just can’t dislike aang no matter how much he may want to and they somehow find themselves attached

but suki and miya would also get along really well because I know they would and aang and joe would just have fun and like it’s what they deserve so they are interchangeable / all besties

also sk8 characters if they were benders...

cherry: fire or waterbender,,, cannot decide

joe: earthbender

langa: waterbender

miya: firebender

reki: resident nonbender

shadow: earthbender

[musings-from-mars]

@nuts-and-dolts-week - Day 1 : Childhood Friends (or, acquaintances?)

((EDIT: I reblogged this with an AO3 link if you want to leave a comment!))

Ruby hadn’t really understood why her dad had been so nervous about this big trip to Atlas. A whole week in the most technologically advanced place in Remnant? How could this not be the coolest thing ever? Almost all of her Signal classmates were going on the week-long trip, too. Despite her dad’s “I don’t knows” and “maybes,” Ruby had managed to get him to sign the permission slip and pay the dues for her to go. Of course, his condition that he chaperone was annoying, but at least it was happening! Ruby couldn’t wait to see the cool tech and weapons at Atlas Academy.

Much to her dismay, however, Ruby realized this school trip was ending up being way more boring than she expected. As her dad had put it, this really was shaping up to be “an elaborate recruitment event dressed up like an educational trip.” High-ranking military types and grizzled old academy professors gave tour after lecture after presentation, but to Ruby, it all blurred together. Who cared about graduation rates, or quality of education? Ruby wanted to see the cool stuff!

Which is why, despite knowing it would probably get her in trouble, she sneaked away during a lecture on the history of the kingdom to try to look around for something more interesting. Her class had spent the whole day at this academy, so Ruby knew well enough that this place was huge. But she hoped what little she’d manage to see would feature something cool. Maybe a weapons workshop, or a tech lab of some sort. There had to be something around in these huge echo-y halls.

Just when she was about to give up her search and sneak back into the lecture hall, she heard something from a nearby room. She shuffled closer and listened, noticing the placard by the door, Project Workshop #307.

“Her software is coming along even better than planned,” a man’s voice from within spoke. “The specifics of her hardware is the more troublesome aspect. But as an individual, she is displaying a tremendous level of self-awareness and agency. Not to mention she is quite personable and friendly, if not a tad bit literal. I’m still working on her ability to detect hyperbole.”

“It’s very impressive,” another man spoke. He sounded familiar. “But I am certain you know that the hardware is the top priority at this time. I find you focus too much on this project’s more...sentimental aspects.”

“Yes, well, you did ask for her to be as believable as possible. And I feel she is well on the way to achieving that goal!”

“Indeed. But you do understand what I am telling you, correct?”

“Yes, general. Understood.”

General? General Ironwood, that guy who gave the big welcome speech that morning?

“Good. I am very satisfied with the progress you’ve made on this project. Keep up the good work.”

“Thank you, sir. Good day!”

Ruby heard the sturdy thumping of boots on the floor, and she panicked and petal burst away to hide under a nearby bench. She held her breath and watched as who must have been the general walk past, none the wiser. She sighed in relief, then began to crawl out from under the bench only to see someone else leaving the same room, and she yelped and hid once more.

The person walked by her hiding spot, or...a robot? Four robotic legs ambled down the hall, and Ruby thought for a second that a big mech had been released inside the school. She poked her head out to look, but instead saw a man in a chair. It was like a wheelchair, but...with legs. Still cool, but not a mech.

Once the man and his robo-chair had disappeared around a corner, Ruby turned her attention to the room he’d left. He’d shut the door and she feared it was locked, but was relieved when it opened when she tried the knob. She grinned and looked both ways down the hall one more time, then entered. Time to see what this project was.

The men had talked about software, and how realistic she was becoming. Was this an AI of some sorts? A completely artificial person, even? The concept blew Ruby’s mind, and she hoped that was the case. She entered the room and gently shut the door behind herself, then turned to see...a laptop. A laptop sitting on a table, surrounded by notebooks and papers. Ruby had been expecting something cooler to look at. Maybe an android, like the hardware the men had talked about. She gave the notebooks a closer look, and was at least intrigued by their content.

The P.E.N.N.Y. Project.

“Penny...” Ruby muttered in curiosity as she looked at the header of one of the notebooks.

The laptop screen turned on, a bright lime green. “Salutations!”

“Wah-!” Ruby yelped and almost fell over, instead managing to land her butt in a nearby desk chair. She looked at the laptop with wide eyes. The screen was completely lime green, save for a small power on/power off icon in the bottom right.

“‘Wah’?” The feminine voice asked. “What does that mean?”

Ruby held her breath as she slowly adjusted herself in her seat, then used her legs to roll her way closer to the monitor. “Hello?”

“Hello!” The voice answered with delight.

“Who are you?” Ruby asked.

“I am Project P.E.N.N.Y., but you may just call me Penny.”

Ruby’s jaw fell open, and she glanced at the notebook again. “You...you’re an artificial intelligence.”

The voice seemed to giggle. “In a way, I am. My intelligence is man-made, but my more proper categorization is ‘Synthetic Person.’”

“Woah...” Ruby murmured, staring at the screen.

“‘Woah?’“ Penny asked. “What does that mean?”

“It...” Ruby wasn’t sure how to answer. “It’s just a thing you say when, like, you see something really cool.”

“‘Woah’ is an exclamation of wonder?”

“Yeah!” Ruby said with a laugh. “That makes more sense than what I said.”

“Thank you for teaching me!”

“Uh, sure.” Ruby was talking to a computer. Or, well, a synthetic person. This was so flipping awesome! This was exactly the kind of thing she had been hoping to find.

“Who are you?” Penny asked.

“I-I’m Ruby.”

“It is wonderful to meet you, Ruby!”

Her enthusiasm was infectious. “And it’s awesome meeting you too!”

“You are the first person besides my fathers that I have gotten to talk to so freely.”

Her fathers? “You mean the general, and that man in the...spider chair?”

“Precisely!” Penny confirmed. “Pietro Polendina is the one who is designing me, and General Ironwood is overseeing my progress.”

“That’s really cool,” Ruby said with a laugh. “When do you think you’ll be finished?”

“That is uncertain at this time. My father is currently designing a physical body for me! But the problem with that is without an Aura of my own—”

The door suddenly opened, and Ruby spun around in her chair to face whoever it was. Except she spun herself a little too hard and continued rotating, having to turn her head to face the man in the robo-chair while scrambling to stop her spinning.

“P-pardon me,” the man said, eyes wide and glasses crooked on his face as he stared at Ruby.

“Sorry!” Ruby yelped, hopping to her feet and standing upright, rubbing the back of her head. “I, uh...” She then quickly fell to the floor and mimed searching around for something. “I dropped my...lucky bottle cap.” My what...?

The man adjusted his glasses and chuckled. “Child, shouldn’t you be with your classmates?”

Ruby’s cheeks warmed. “Yeah, uhm...I got lost?”

The man Ruby deduced to be the Pietro Polendina whom Penny had mentioned shook his head fondly. “I do not blame your curiosity, young one.” He glanced at the desk. “I see you have made an acquaintance, Penny.”

“Ruby and I are acquainted?” Penny asked, sounding excited. “I have never been acquainted to someone before!”

Pietro chuckled fondly, like Ruby’s dad would anytime she’d go on a ramble about weapons or types of Grimm. “And while I am all in favor of you meeting new people in time, I’m afraid all information to do with you is proprietary at the moment. You and Ruby will have to catch up some other time.”

“I understand,” Penny said. “My conversational software is very impressionable.”

Ruby stood back to her feet as straight as she could, feeling hot under her Signal uniform. “So, uhh, I should go, huh?”

“Do not forget about your lucky bottle cap!” Penny reminded her earnestly.

“Oh, uhh...” Ruby’s face burned.

Pietro let out a hearty laugh and shuffled his robo-chair to the side. “Run along, Ruby. You are certainly missing a riveting retelling of Atlas’ military history.” Humorous sarcasm tinged his words.

Ruby nodded and awkwardly marched to the door. “Y-yes, sir,” she said, then struggled with whether she should salute or not, then compromised with a wave. “Uhm...bye, Penny.”

“Farewell! I hope to talk to you again soon, acquaintance!“

[ask-the-riders]

Demon species that exist in this multiverse's version of Hell

As I stated before, we might not get to see all of these types (we might get to meet a mime soon, but other than that, I'm not sure yet), but I figured this might be neat to share anyway :P

Glitch: The umbrella term which usually includes Pure Glitches, Lens Flares, and Clickbaits

Pure Glitch: Typically humanoid, but can come in any shape or size. Can be identified by the effect they have on technology, causing every device around them to glitch, freeze up, and/or short out. The hardest type to catch or document or catch on video. Can also unintentionally cause electrical fires. They crave violence and chaos, appearing to thrive off of it, and they almost always appear mentally unstable. A common, infamous trait is also their short temper, which seems to go hand in hand with their unpredictable mood swings

Lens Flare: Also typically humanoid, but like Pure Glitches, they can vary in appearance. Are also easy to identify by the effect they have on any and all nearby technology, although unlike Pure Glitches, they don’t cause devices to short out, and they don’t cause electrical fires. When a Lens Flare demon is present, a device’s audio quality drops and the colors on the screen appear to shift between different colors, most notably red, blue, pink, yellow, and green. They still have an underlying craving for violence and chaos, but they usually appear more collected and stoic. They also have short tempers and may lash out from time to time, but they’re somewhat easier to predict. Known to be manipulative and cunning, and will do just about anything to get what they want, regardless of the risk

Clickbait: Humanoid, but noticeably smaller; The shortest on record was only about 1’3, while the tallest was about 3’9. Their skin tones come in a variety of colors, although the most common ones are blue, green, and pink. They can only exist in the cyber world, infecting pop-up ads and clickbait on websites. When an ad or scam they’ve taken over has been clicked on and/or downloaded, they then travel into the device and make it their new host. Once they’ve taken control of their new host body, they prefer to stay as long as possible. If their host is damaged, they’re capable of repairing it, but they’ll die within minutes if they’re pulled out of it and into the physical world. They don’t crave violence as much as other types of demons, and instead, preoccupy themselves with simply trying to survive, due to being so weak. Their favorite kind of host bodies seem to be robots and animatronics. If a device is suspected to have a Clickbait demon living inside it, check the files for anything suspicious and then proceed to open up the device. If one is present, it’ll fall out once the device is opened. You may choose to move it to a new device if you wish to keep it around, but otherwise, leave them be. If provoked, they have the ability to pull someone into the cyber world with them (but only if the ad or scam they took over had been clicked on first)

Clown: Can appear humanoid or more like something from a horror movie, depending on how many lives they’ve taken and/or how many souls they’ve consumed. Some subtypes would include standard Circus/Carnival Clowns, Jesters, Mimes, and Harlequins. As children, they feed on only candy and sweets, and they crave sugar, but as they mature, they develop a taste for blood and human flesh, and it becomes their biggest source of nutrients. They appear unusually flexible, as if they have no bones, and their skin sometimes appears as though it’s made of plastic. They’re great at contorting themselves and doing anything based around gymnastics, acrobatics, and aerial arts. If their attire doesn’t give away their subtype, note their primary territory type, since Circus/Carnival Clowns prefer areas with tents and wagons and Mimes prefer alleyways and streets, while Jesters and Harlequins seem to gravitate more toward castles and historic locations. A common trait they share is giggling and laughing, even in completely inappropriate situations. Something to note: they are completely capable of detaching and reattaching their limbs, so it’s not uncommon to see them detaching their own heads to perform odd and potentially disturbing acts and stunts

Incubus/Succubus: Most often appears humanoid. They’re similar to a vampire, except they prefer to feed off of sexual energy. If no sexual energy is available or they cannot gain access to it, they will resort to feeding off of human blood. Their primary targets are sleeping humans, the gender of which depends (at least partially) on the gender of the demon itself. ‘Incubus/incubi’ refers to males, who prey on sleeping women, while ‘succubus/succubi’ refers to females who prey on sleeping men. Because of the changing times, however, Incubi and Succubi have become interchangeable terms, and individual demons may refer to themselves as whatever they prefer. While their targets are commonly of the opposite gender and they're typically represented as being almost always heterosexual, this is not always the case. In some scenarios, they've also been documented selecting targets and mates that are of the same gender as themselves

Vampire: Mostly humanoid, depending on their age and how much blood they’ve consumed over the years. They feed exclusively on blood, although some prefer the blood of animals over that of humans. Cannot go into direct sunlight, and doing so will result in being burnt

Mara: Also known as a “Nightmare demon”. Mostly humanoid, but typically lack any distinguishing features. Usually appear as nothing more than the completely black silhouette of a person, although some have been documented to have white or silver eyes, which lack a pupil or iris. It’s believed that many appear to be feminine, and either young women or old hags, but some do carry the preference of presenting themselves as being male or androgynous, as well. It is similar to Incubi/Succubi, but rather than feeding on sexual energy, it sits on the chest of a sleeping victim and brings nightmares. In some cases, they’re also known to suffocate their sleeping victim, as well as bring night terrors and sleep paralysis. After Pure Glitches, they’re the second hardest type of demon to catch on video or in photos, as their bodies tend to blend in with the surrounding shadows. They cannot exist in the light, and require some level of darkness to move about. Victims report feeling a heavy weight starting at their feet that very gradually spreads up their body and settles on their chest, before they became completely paralyzed. They retained the ability to see and hear, but along with their movement, they also lost the ability to speak, as well. They also report having vivid hallucinations and feeling a dark presence in the room with them

Imp: Can be humanoid, but like with other demon species, they can come in a variety of different shapes and sizes. They’re smaller than most demons, often ranging from 3’5 to 4’5, and they’re known for their short stature and red skin. Their eyes often appear yellow, and while males have angular horns that have black and white stripes around them, females have smaller horns that are mostly black with thin white stripes. They also have tails, the tips of which can either be shaped as an arrow or as a heart. They have a love for violence, and many base their careers on it. If their horns are curved and less angular, that would be the demon equivalent of balding

Inanimate: Almost always humanoid, but varies in appearance. They usually come in subtypes, such as mannequins, scarecrows, statues, dolls, animatronics, puppets, wax figures, dummies, etc. While they can move around normally in hell, they can only move if no one is looking, when they go to the human world. Like most demons, they enjoy scaring people, and they seem to prefer targeting anyone with automatonophobia (the fear of human-like figures)

Ink: Sometimes humanoid, sometimes not. They frequently resemble either a mostly humanoid figure or the upper half of a person (consisting of the head and neck, arms, chest, and upper half of the torso). They’re almost always entirely black and covered in sludge, and they lack any real distinguishing features, such as a face or clothing. It’s very rare to see any that appear in any other color or without the sludge. They’re supposedly made entirely of ink, hence their name. They’ve been seen coming out of ink puddles and “melting” back into them, and it’s thought that they use ink puddles to move from place to place. If one is strong enough, it may possess the ability to capture humans with its sludge, the substance becoming thicker and harder to pull oneself out of. If an Ink demon has built up enough strength and intelligence, they may even seek to convert humans into their personal servants. This could be achieved by first capturing and weakening a human, and then bleeding them out and replacing their blood with sludge. After the human completely heals and regains consciousness, they’re subjected to brainwashing and various forms of abuse, and this will continue until their spirit has been entirely broken and they’ve lost hope of escaping. Only once they lose hope and become entirely compliant, can the transformation into a servant be completed

Hellhound: There are two types that have been documented: Anthropomorphic and Feral. Anthropomorphic hellhounds typically have traits that are based off of canines (like dogs, wolves, coyotes, foxes, jackals, etc.) and walk upright on two legs like a human, while Feral hellhounds more closely resemble normal canines

Fallen Angels: Refers to angels who committed a crime and were cast down to hell from heaven. A prime example of this is Lucifer, who was once God’s favorite, and also known as the most beautiful angel in heaven 

Sinner: Refers to any demon who was once human. When one becomes a demon, they usually develop the traits of whatever ties in with their personality, the kind of life that they lived, or their cause of death. They start off humanoid, but their appearance changes over time, depending on the number of lives they’ve taken and the number of people/creatures they’ve consumed. It’s not uncommon for them to cannibalize other demons. In death, they may choose to keep their human name or go by something new. Sinner demons may become any of the previously listed types, excluding imps, hellhounds, incubi/succubi, and inanimates

Hellborn: Refers to any demon who was born in hell, such as imps, hellhounds, incubi/succubi, and inanimates. While Sinner demons may occasionally grow to resemble any of these types, there will always be a way to distinguish them and spot the fakes

Hellborn demons don’t always fall into one specific category or type, much like Sinner demons

Hybrid demon species do exist, but are not common and are typically outcasted from the rest of society. Usually, they like to stick to their own general races, such as any glitch variant pairing with another (‘glitch’ is more of an umbrella term that refers to Pure Glitches, Lens Flares, and Clickbaits) while any clown variants (meaning standard Circus/Carnival Clowns, Jesters, Mimes, and Harlequins) may pair off with another clown variant. The different races do sometimes reproduce and create offspring with humans, but the half human-half demon mixes are often outcasted, since most others feel like they don’t belong in hell, but they don’t belong in the human world, either

Harlequins and Incubi/Succubi are known to be more promiscuous in nature, so hybrids that are part clown or incubi/succubi are fairly common 

Devils and demons are extremely similar, though devils are almost always stronger, more violent, and more aggressive

It’s rare for demons to mate for life, but the bonded pairs that do usually end up moving out of the city. They relocate and choose to settle down somewhere away from most other demons, where they’re free to start a relatively peaceful life together

Because clown type demons are so similar, it’s common for two variants of one type to produce offspring that is another (ex: two standard Circus/Carnival Clowns may produce offspring that is a mime, or two Mimes may produce offspring that is a Jester)

If a Glitch variant reproduces with another Glitch variant, there’s a 50/50 chance that the offspring would be one type or the other (ex: a Pure Glitch and a Lens Flare may produce offspring that is either a Pure Glitch or a Lens Flare)

If two Sinner demons that don’t fall into any specific type produce offspring, the offspring would likely be another demon that shares their traits, similar to the outcomes whenever humans reproduce. The only thing to note would be that while Sinner demons aren’t native to hell, any children they have would technically be Hellborns

Hellhounds, Inks, and Imps are at the bottom of the food chain, so to speak. Maras, Vampires, and Incubi/Succubi are only slightly above them. Fallen Angels and Devils are at the very top, with Glitches right beneath them. Beneath Glitches would be Clowns, and then beneath Clowns would be Inanimates

From the bottom of the societal ladder to the top, the order would be: Hellhounds, Inks, Imps, Incubi/Succubi, Vampires, Maras, Inanimates, Clowns, Glitches, Devils, and Fallen Angels

Hellborn demons will almost always be stronger than Sinner demons. Sinners do have the potential to become stronger though, if the right conditions are met 

There are other subspecies that exist as well, like Spiders, Moths, Cyclops, Snakes, Technology, Plants, etc.

[kaminobiwan]

in sickness and health

pairing: obi-wan kenobi x jedi!reader

summary: Confined to a day in bed, Obi-Wan is enlisted to keep you company. Featuring mild spoonfeeding I make no apologies

a/n: First off, THANK YOU FOR 300 FOLLOWERS! WOW oh my goodness that happened so fast. I’m still working through the prompts from my 175/200 follower celebration (of which this is a part of), and I can’t wait to figure out a way to celebrate this milestone as well! I’m so grateful to all of the support and love I’ve gotten so far; your kindness and readership means the world to me, and I’m so glad to share my stories with you :-) Without any further ado, here is the return of Padawan!Obi....and if you’d like to join his fanclub, might I direct you to my co-president @highlycommendable lovely dove

Before I forget, taglist masterlist all that shite. Enjoy my bubs

On his way back to the dormitories after an early morning meditation session, Obi-Wan hears arguing.

Though it’s not uncommon to hear discord in the wing of the temple where the Padawans make their residence, it isn’t the usual ruckus of Quin and Kit wrestling, or Shaak Ti demanding to know who had taken her Akul-tooth headdress again.

This time, it’s the voice of a Master filling the halls, berating his student with fond persistence.

“Padawan, my word is final.” Obi-Wan turns the corner as Plo Koon raises a talon at a figure huddled in blankets in the doorway. “You are too ill to travel.”

“But I’m almost better! And Shaak’s told me so much about the Togruta, and I want to see how big of an Akul she’s killed!” He recognizes the protests coming from your distinct yet muddled voice, and his vision confirms his guess as you come into sight, fabric draping across your body like a spirit. “I promise I’m fine, Master, please!”

Despite his mouth being completely covered by his breathing mask, Obi-Wan can almost detect the makings of a smile across the Jedi’s features. “The healers were adamant, my student. You’re to rest one more day. Perhaps, instead of stories of Akul, you can detail our sightings of the neebray mantas to your peers. I assure you, they are much bigger than any Akul you hope to see.” Abruptly, he turns to Obi-Wan in a way that makes him think the Master had sensed his presence long before he’d approached. “Padawan Kenobi, if you’re not terribly occupied, I have a favor to ask of you.”

Obi-Wan comes to a stop in front of the pair of you, your eyes dragging to his frame after shooting a disgruntled glance at your Master. “Master Koon?”

“I’m set to depart for Shili within the hour, and unfortunately, this one,” he gestures a robe-covered hand towards you, “is recovering from a mild case of Balmorra Flu and will be unable to accompany me. I would appreciate it immensely if you’d monitor my student to ensure that she does, in fact, fulfill her last day of bed rest.” Obi-Wan notices as you bristle at the notion of being babysat like a child, but says nothing as Plo continues. “The healers have been kind enough to deliver medicine and food. You’d need only to stay within the room.” Before Obi-Wan can reply that he’d have to seek the approval of his own Master, Koon finishes for him. “I’d be happy to request an excuse from the rest of your duties, but if I’m being quite honest, I’m aware that most of your training for the day has already been completed.”

Obi-Wan schools his own features in haste from revealing how impressed he is. Though, he really shouldn’t be surprised. Plo Koon was legendary amongst the younger generations for both his intuition and skill with a lightsaber. Still, he pauses.

“There’s no cause for worry, young one, she’s not contagious any longer. The sickness is in its last stages.” The Kel Dor assures him, somewhat humorously, but that’s not why Obi-Wan is hesitating.

He’s nervous — he’s never spent much time alone with you. It’s not that you’re unlikable, or intimidating — okay, maybe you are a little — but actually, you’re quite popular with the rest of his crèchemates. He’s only had the opportunity to spend time with you in the midst of his other friends, and the times you have had conversations by yourselves, he gets an uncomfortable twist in his stomach that he’s not sure he likes.

But Obi-Wan is a good Padawan. Trying to be, at least. And Master Koon is close friends with Qui-Gon.

“Certainly, Master.” He gives a slight bow at the middle of his waist. “I would gladly be of service.”

The Jedi nods at him gracefully, and bids a soft farewell to you as he departs the conversation and the dormitory wing. You mutter a goodbye of your own moments after, followed by what Obi-Wan thinks is a variation of be safe. Then, you turn haughtily into your bedroom, retreating with your nose high in the air. He follows with a smirk of amusement.

“Sorry you’ve been sidelined.” He offers, as you face plant dramatically onto the bed. You bounce head-first into the pillows, and he can feel the irritation radiating off of you. “I know it that goes.”

You lift your body enough to place your chin in your hands, and regard him with a softening quirk. “It’s okay. I was just excited to get out on a mission again after my last one got cut short. This wretched flu.”

You flop onto your back, but Obi-Wan can sense your resentment quickly fading as you pull up the sheets to your chest. He notes that you already seem to be complying with your Master’s orders, grateful at the thought of not having to force you into bed. Another thought passes through his head, reminding him of the specific name Plo Koon had mentioned earlier.

“Balmorra flu? Weren’t you on Dantooine?”

“We were. Unfortunately, the illness is not limited to the planet for which it is named. But how it made its way to Dantooine, the middle of nowhere, I’ve no idea.” You sniff harshly. “It’s a shame, too. I wanted to take some time to admire the grasslands, but Master Koon wanted to get us back to the temple before I got worse.” The pout on your face morphs into a far-off look, and while you’re daydreaming, he takes the time to admire you. “It was majestic, Obi-Wan, the rolling plains, the rivers — you’d have loved it, I think.”

To himself, he smiles warmly. Here you are, sinuses stuffed to the brim and wallowing in the discomfort of sickness, yet you still found it within yourself to think of him. He can see why you’d been spoken so highly of by the others before he’d had the courage to befriend you.

You had a good heart.

“I know what you mean.” He presents you with a new tissue as you toss a used one into the wastebasket by your bed, and you watch him speak intently. “Once, on a mission to Alderaan, my Master told me he’d save time to hike one of the mountains if we finished early. A meditation retreat, of sorts. We did, but just as we were prepared to go, I came down with nerf-pox. A youngling sneezed on me in the middle of the assignment.” Disdain paints his appearance, and you cough out a laugh at him behind your fist as you reach for something off your bedside table, where a steaming bowl and cup of water sits.

“To the experiences that disease took from us,” you raise the cup in the air as if you’re making a toast, and although he’s not holding one of his own, he mimes the action with a grin. “Here’s to hoping we’ll get to do them someday.”

As you raise the drink to your mouth, Obi-Wan can’t help but notice the way it trembles in your hand. Eyes narrowing, he takes in the slight shake of your arm. “You’re quite weak,” he moves closer to take the cup from you and set it back on the table. “I think I should feed you.”

Your eyebrows knit in defiance, but he’s already holding the bowl of soup, stirring the spoon in its depths. Immediately, his nose wrinkles in distaste.

“This smells horrible.”

You sigh in agreement, leaning your head back against the pillows. “Rootleaf stew. Master Yoda’s personal recipe.” As he lifts the utensil to your still-moving mouth, you add, “Thankfully, it doesn’t taste as bad as it stinks.”

He snickers quietly as you drink the liquid down with a small noise of disgust. Your face seems to relax after a minute, however, and he hopes the warm broth is soothing your throat. He offers you a bit more, but this time, you stare straight at him as your lips close around the spoon, and his wrist falters when you peer at him from beneath your lashes.

Soup dribbles down your chin and neck as you squeal in surprise, the heat of it making you jerk back. Obi-Wan drops the bowl onto the table as he frantically snatches up tissues to offer you between panicked apologies, not trusting himself to dab the droplets on your skin away himself.

“Sorry! I’m so sorry, I —” he stammers as you clean up what you can, blinking at him in amused surprise. You don’t look angry at him, but stars, does he feel bad. “Ah, I didn’t mean to. So much for helping you.” From the shoulders up, he burns bright with remorse, but you shake your head amusedly with bright eyes.

“It’s okay. I probably would have done the same to myself. You were right, I am too weak to carry anything.”

Sheepishly, Obi-Wan picks up the stew again, but places it in his lap for a moment as he waits for his body to stop freaking out, for lack of a better term. It’s good timing, too, because you promptly break into a hacking fit, coughing violently as he winces in his seat. After you blow your nose loudly, you seem to notice his expression, because you suddenly turn self-consciously away from him.

“I’m sorry, too. I can’t imagine I’m a pretty sight to see as of right now.”

He disagrees. Surprisingly, your physical state hasn’t been too affected. And even in spite of your slightly ruffled exterior, you’re still exuding the same liveliness that he can’t help but find attractive. In his mindlessness, Obi-Wan’s mouth acts before his brain as he responds. “I think you’re always pretty.”

You both freeze, eyes meeting in shocked gazes as he attempts to backtrack. “I — I mean, you’re a pretty sight to see —” Nope, that’s worse, kill me, Maker, kill me now —

“Obi — it’s okay,” you cut him off from embarrassing himself further, though your own voice is shrill. “I appreciate the compliment.”

His face flushes again, this time at the nickname more than his stupidity. He stares resolutely into the swirling broth as he fiddles with the spoon, and deafening silence fills the air between you as you both look anywhere but each other. Soon enough, though, you’re brave enough to break the quiet. With an even braver comment of your own.

“You know, you’re not too bad-looking either,” he peers at you cautiously, and your eyes are kind, offering comfort. He breathes out a long sigh, but manages a weak smile in return.

“Thanks,” he mumbles, and you nod at him easily. He’s jealous of the way you’re expressive, yet so effortlessly at ease in any scenario — someday, he swears, he’ll nail down his composure. He’ll be in complete control of his every emotion and have the coolest demeanor of all the Jedi.

Just, not today.

Obi-Wan forces himself to steel the muscles in his arms as he brings another spoonful of soup to your waiting mouth, and exhales in relief when he successfully avoids causing another mess. Unfortunately, it seems that you’re intent on making one, because as soon as you swallow, you’ve got another remark that you deliver all too casually for Obi-Wan’s liking.

“In fact, I’d say you’re the prettiest Padawan in the Order.”

He spills the entire bowl across your sheets.

[thewidowstanton]

The Widow’s best of 2020

Well… during a year when we haven’t been able to see many live shows we’ve still managed to find lots of things we loved. Here are some of them; live shows are indicated, otherwise we watched them online – our grateful thanks go to all the companies that streamed their productions for free – listened to them or read them. You’ll notice that our list includes lots of women and the occasional man.

But before that we start with a new category…

PERSON OF THE YEAR: Circus director Carol Gandey (pictured) of Gandeys Circus. If UK touring circus – an artform championed by The Widow’s Liz Arratoon for more than 25 years – is to survive Covid-19, it will be in large part to her. Gandeys had produced three shows before the UK’s March lockdown, two of which never had a chance to open, incurring hundreds of thousands of pounds in costs. It then provided accommodation and living expenses for 33 stranded artists, and meanwhile developed an air-flow working model for circus – trialling an opening at Butlins – which gave the government enough confidence to allow circuses to reopen with reduced seating capacities.  

Carol constantly lobbied the government and the Arts Council for aid – as did other industry figures – and her application to the Arts Council Recovery Fund, which was said to be exceptional, resulted in a £1.1 million grant; the largest amount awarded to any UK circus company. Gandeys used some of the money to cover the losses due to the lockdown, and to fund a survival package that included some reduced-capacity performances this autumn, as well as funding the production costs for reopening in 2021.

From one strong and inspirational woman to another…

BEST EXTRAVAGANZA: Rhianna’s Savage X Fenty Volume 2 TV special for her lingerie range. Wow! What a mix! This was an explosion of creativity; part fashion show, part dance show, part gig, part circus, part ad, and included a simply stunning floral set. Add a cast of big names, a wonderfully diverse choice of dancers and models, no expense had been spared. Exciting, fresh and really impressive.

BEST LIVE SHOW: Zebra, a solo show by juggling genius Wes Peden, which was part of the London International Mime Festival at the Southbank Centre’s Purcell Room.

BEST CIRCUS SHOW: The really inventive CAPAS by Circo Eia (pictured) – so great to see so many new ideas, and here’s our chat with cast member Francesca Lissia. Plus the intricate and dazzling Twenty Twenty by Gandini Juggling. 

BEST DANCE SHOW: Faust by the Ballets de Monte-Carlo, featuring the spectral Bernice Coppieters (pictured) as Death; and Cia de Dança Deborah Colker’s super-stylish Belle, inspired by the novel Belle de Jour.

BEST KIDS’ SHOW: Little Angel Theatre’s hat trilogy, presented by puppeteer Ian Nicholson; an adaptation of the picture books by Jon Klassen: I Want My Hat Back, This Is Not My Hat and We Found a Hat.

BEST COSTUME: The Widow has always considered costumes to be extremely important. As Federico Fellini said: “Don’t forget that costumes, like dreams, are symbolic communication,” and frankly we wish more artists would make the sort of effort Dua Lipa made on Saturday Night Live!

Staying with costumes… slightly less glamorous, but an effort was made by Hot Mess in party-sketch work-in-progress Dirty Stop Outs.

MOST EXCITING: Meeting Marina Abramović in the foyer at London’s Barbican before the Efterklang gig.

BEST SHOWGIRLS: Seen in the 1972 film Un Flic; costumes by Colette Baudot. Also featured is a stunning black dress, worn by Catherine Deneuve, designed by Yves Saint Laurent.

BEST BURLESQUE: Lady of Burlesque, starring Barbara Stanwyck, who wears costumes by the great Edith Head.

BEST FILM CREDITS: Sudden Fear, starring Joan Crawford as a scorned – but impeccably dressed – woman on the verge of a nervous breakdown! 

BEST CASTAWAY: Hard to choose between Rupert Everett, Ian Wright or Daniel Radcliffe, who all washed up on BBC Radio 4′s Desert Island Discs.

BEST SHOWBIZ STORY: Catherine Russell – on Outlook, BBC Radio 4 – who has played the same role for 32 years and said the same lines more than 13,000 times. She holds the world record for the most theatre performances in the same role; Margaret Thorne Brent – a psychiatrist who might also be a cold-blooded killer – in the off-Broadway play Perfect Crime.

BEST TV SERIES: It was a close call with The Queen’s Gambit, but our choice is the utterly brilliant My Brilliant Friend; the adaptation of Elena Ferrante’s series of Neapolitan novels. 

BEST DOCUMENTARY: The Bee Gees – How Can You Mend a Broken Heart.

BEST CABARET PIC: The ever-lovely Eve Ferret at the Crazy Coqs in London. Picture: @marc_t_albert 

BEST SHOWBIZ MEMOIR: John Cooper Clarke’s I Wanna Be Yours.

BEST SHOWBIZ BIOGRAPHY: Jon Gresham: The Life and Adventures of a Sideshow Showman, Fire-Eater and Magician by Edwin A Dawes, Pat Gresham and Jon Marshall. This is a painstakingly detailed and enthralling account of Gresham’s life, lovingly compiled by his widow and friends from material written by Gresham himself. Want one? Details below.

BEST SHOWBIZ AUTOBIOGRAPHY: The heartbreaking Everything and Nothing: The Dorothy Dandridge Tragedy by Dorothy Dandridge and Earl Conrad. The revealing autobiography of Hollywood’s first African-American sex symbol and screen legend.

BEST GIG: Sevdaliza’s only show this year, streamed live from The Hague's Koninklijke Schouwburg (Royal Theatre) to a global audience.

BEST SONG: Désormais by Charles Aznavour, which was used as the title track for the film Chambre 212 or On a Magical Night.

BEST ALBUM COVER: Charles Aznavour’s Désormais. That hat!

MOST CHARMING: The sheep invasion during Isabella Rossellini’s show Sex and Consequences, which was streamed live from her farm in Bellport, Long Island, USA. Yes, her live sheep! 

BEST TWITTER CIRCUS PIC: The stunning Crystal Pyramids by Severus posted by @PablosCircus.

BEST LIVE COMEDY: Myra Dubois – star of Britain’s Got Talent – at The Poodle Club in Sydenham. Some of us recognised the greatness of Rotherham’s finest before she was famous!

GONE TOO SOON: Actor Chadwick Boseman (pictured) at just 43, funnymen Eddie Large, Tim Brooke Taylor and Bobby Ball, and dancer, choreographer and actor Ann Reinking.

MOST MISSED: Davenports magic shop that closed at the end of January – but you luckily can still order from it online – and a more recent casualty, after 96 years, London’s beautiful Café de Paris.

MOST DISAPPOINTING: Madonna’s Madame X show at the London Palladium. Goodness, this was shoddy! She was so incapacitated that she simply marked all the dance moves and had to be helped around the set, and up and down the stairs. The tickets were exorbitantly expensive and no one paid to see someone hobbling about onstage. We paid to see Madonna!

But let’s not end on a sour note…

BEST SHOWBIZ MASK: Shirley Bassey’s fabulous sequinned number!

REASONS TO BE CHEERFUL: Some things we’re looking forward to include:  The 45th London International Mime Festival, which will be screening free-to-view videos of shows from past LIMF editions, running an extended workshop series with live and online classes, and hosting a series of talks.

We’re also awaiting the new series of Call My Agent, which starts on Netflix on 21 January 2021.

And, last but by no mean least, one of the world’s truly funny clowns, Gloria – also known as Mooky Cornish – has been busy training her chickens – Kukuruzza (pictured top), who has been taking piano lessons, and the athletic Galina – and will be touring the Canadian prairies with them next summer. Now that’s something we’d love to see! Picture: Nichole Huck

Better days ahead!

*Jon Gresham book is available via PayPal from jon@magiccarpettheatre.com: P&P incl, UK – £25, EU – £30, USA tracked – $52

[tfw-no-tennis]

hxh....MUSICAL

as soon as i saw that a hunter x hunter musical from the year 2002 starring the OG 99 VAs existed, i knew i has to see this...so i set out and watched the nightmare of zoldyck (i would later find out that theres ANOTHER musical, which i plan to watch too)

luckily its all on youtube subbed! in 360 quality...oh hell yes lmao

ok i logically knew this was gonna be a musical but seeing the characters singing is like. a lot. THIS IS SO STRANGE 

musical illumi is played by a woman which is interesting. shes got a good voice 

i think they just panned to killua but it was so pixelated that i legitimately could not tell hvbadjkfbjkdsf

i have no idea whats going on vhbajdfhhajsdf theres a bunch of people falling over on stage...i think theyre dying? who are yall 

oh shit backup dancers?

lmao illumi killed the backup dancers rip.

oh that IS killua lol. s/o to the 3 pixels that are visible 

is this gonna be the zoldyck arc but a musical? lmao

OH WAIT IS THAT KURAPIKA AND LEORIO? i cant even tell lmaoooo

i can 100% tell these are fan subs lmaooo i love bad fan subs SO MUCH it makes a viewing experience even better

this is p much just a musical version of the manga/anime so far lmao i love it 

the way theyre spelling zoldyck is. a lot 

is every character gonna get an intro song. how much of this musical is singing and how much of it is dialogue cause theres defs a range w/musicals 

lmao i love gon leorio and kurapikas interactions even here, they rlly feel like two parents being dragged around by their energetic kid 

i cant even see the set at all so im just gonna assume theres like, the gate and all that behind them, but it all just looks like a dark wall to me lmao

i love singing exposition 

HISOKAS IN THIS???????????????????? oh my lorddddd 

OH i see now in the description that hes played by the 99 VA too lmao i love it 

wow musical hisoka rlly b like [writes himself into the zoldyck family arc]

oh here we go w/the song introducing the zoldycks 

damn grandpa got mad flips 

this is. wild 

its especially wild that alluka isnt here bc she like...didnt even exist yet at this point in the story 

zoldyck family sitcom wow 

i see the gon/killua romance is still going strong in the musical 

oh so they did all the training and goin thru the door stuff offscreen lol

this is actually doing a pretty good job expanding on the canon stuff from this arc lol so props. espec w/showing more of killua being scared of illumi 

oooh this is interesting actually, this is like....an AU where illumi is present during this arc, and how that would change things. And Also They Sing 

the zoldycks are so fucked up lmao 

also i feel like theres some ‘early adaptation’ character weirdness going on, like w/the grandpa, who seems much less intense here than in the anime (at least after seeing him in the yorknew arc), and milluki, who seems like a gag character here lmao

oh my god lmao is hisoka here to visit illumi?

the hilarious irony of illumi telling killua that assassins cant have friends, then going to hang out with his good buddy hisoka

kurapika is the only one here with a brain cell (for now) 

ah yes hisoka and illumi doing their nasty murder flirting thing 

HISOKA IS SO NASTYYYY I HATE HIM tho his actor is very good and smarmy

OH its canary!! is there uh. blackface goin on there. i cant actually tell, what with there being only 3 pixels present at any given time

really love how half of this is just the regular arc but with the characters singing abt stuff during it 

the lady playing killuas mom has a rlly good screeching voice jesus lmao 

ohh i love musical fighting so much

the sound fx on kurapikas sticks are cracking me up

butlers got mad cartwheels

oh theyre doing the coin thing! this is so out of order lmao

oh my god i love that theyre doing like, sick dance moves while coin flipping

ah the zoldyck messenger hawk makes an appearance. i love that thats canon and real

the 12 yr old gay romance is REAL even here 

the subs seems to be translated very literally, especially in the songs, so its honestly not clear what theyre even singing about vbsjkdjhfskjfd

gon and killua singing about each other is adorable tbh. also i love how silva asks killua abt his friends and killua is like yeah i made some friends. and then only talks abt gon ahjsduhfabhskdf gayboy 

ok so the zoldyck arc is like, ending, but theres still an hr of musical left so whats even gonna happen lmao. also where did hisoka go

oh no the audio and video arent synced anymore huvbhjadfbhjsakdf

oooh they asked canary to come w/them, thats cool

theyre having a party??? hvbajdsfbhasjkdf

oh shit??? what did zeburo just do to killua??? WHATS GOING ONNN lol this is UNCHARTED TERRITORY 

OH GOD IT WAS ILLUMI. SHOULDVE KNOWNNN

omggg all their formal outfits....everyone cheering wildly at kurapika is cute 

LEORIO AND KURAPIKA DANCING.....

the fact that both killua and gon are taller than kurapika in this is rlly funny 

the idea that the zoldycks are also highly trained ballroom dancers is super hilarious to think about, even moreso when you consider how isolationist they are 

seriously grandpas got mad flips

also i love leorios outfit 

this feels like a filler arc tbh. and i dont mean that in a bad way!

leorio trying to get kurapika to go to the hot springs with him lmaoooo

HVDSJBJFSBFJHS HISOKAS BACK. IN DISGUISE. OH MY GOD 

hisokas stage presence is fantastic gotta say 

damnnnn dad zoldycks got mad flips too. guess it runs in the family 

props to the actors for managing to keep their wigs on while flipping around like that 

its so fuckgin funny thats hisoka just introduces himself as illumis friend, when this whole arc is all about how assassins Cannot Have Friends 

so hisoka is just here trying to get family approval too huh

gon miming a fishing trip was adorable and realistic...sometimes u get skunked and It Just Be Like That

leorio is rlly tryin to shoot his shot w/kurapika and kp is just Not Realizing huh vbjsdufjbsaukjf

wow leorio breakin the fourth wall like that lmao 

wow so illumi hacked killua. rude 

hisoka and illumi are lowkey hilarious in this 

leorio is rlly sending every signal possible to kurapika and kp is like. No 

leorio: killua is a scary murder baby, but also im adopting him 

kurapika singing abt how weird it is having friends after dedicating their life to Revenge(tm) is v on brand 

HISOKA OH BOY 

LMAOOOO HISOKA IS SUCH A FUCKING SNITCH I CANT 

no wonder illumi didnt wanna tell him abt his evil plan lmaoooo he fucked up even telling hisoka that much clearly 

the zoldyck siblings just staring at hisoka in confusion bc How The Fuck Did This Clown Get In Our House hvbhjdksfnjksdf

you can tell the subs are off when the audience is cracking up but you dont even see a joke there lmao

oh my goddd hisoka using bungee gum to make everyone dance is. hilarious 

oh my god synchronized dancing 

HVBSHDJFBJDSKFHBSJ illumi doing a dance routine independent of hisoka and hisoka being like ????? vhbjsdkhfjkjsdnfkj THIS IS HILARIOUS

supremely funny to me how illumi makes such a big point abt assassins not having friends, yet hisoka is announcing himself as illumis friend w/every given opportunity hvbhajdkdfhjskf

this feels so filler arc i love it. thats so charming to me since the 2011 anime doesnt have any filler (from what i can tell?) 

kurapika and leorio rlly feel like killuas parents here lmaooo

this is all dramatic but kurapika keeps repeating what leorio says and its cracking me up hvbajhkdhfbjsk

i lov this fambly 

ah, even in the musical illumi is still such a manipulative bastard 

i feel like the quality just went down EVEN MORE, which i didnt think was even possible hvbhjkdsfskf. at least the audio is synced w/the video again

illumis got a good evil laugh 

this is the exact brand of dramatic angsty filler content that i was hoping for in this lmao i love it 

oooh more zoldycks 

honestly this is more how i expected the zoldyck arc to go in canon hbshjdkujfkjsfdas

dramatic gay filler angst + somewhat incorrect fansubs = perfection

OH SHIT CANARY 

BRO DID SHE JUST DIE???? OMFG

the subs keep calling illumis power ‘spells’ which seems to imply that illumi is some sort of assassin wizard rather than a nen user hvbsudhfkjsdjgf

come to think of it, what point was the manga at when this musical was written? it has to be pretty early on, maybe just as nen was being introduced

gon boutta go ham on illumi...Get His Ass

OHHHH GON DOING THE ICONIC ARM GRAB....ARM GRAB REPRISE

gon doin the good ole reliable shounen ‘punch your friend and yell at them so they snap out of a funk’ lol

i do love how typically shounen this is. friendship speeches! but delivered by SONG!

illumis main hobby is butting in at the worst possible moments 

HISOKAS BACK OH BOY

hisokas playing card blocked killuas hit hvbhjakdhsfjnakdsf thats like in jojo when those manga blocked dios knives 

wow the whole zoldyck squad is here

ooh forbidden zoldyck lore lmao

killua: mom u guys are lame im joining this much cooler family now. bye 

i love how hisoka is just weirdly lurking around for all this zoldyck drama lmao

silva seems like such a bro in this but i feel like hes rlly not like that in canon vhauidfhbsjhdkjfk

oh nope there he goes w/the evil laugh lmaooooo

sorry dude but leorio is his dad now 

gon sniffing zeburo hgbajkdfshbjkdfjnsjdk oh my god

oh hell yeah some synchronized main character finale dancing 

actor showcase! everyone loves kurapika which, same 

ah so the director of this musical also directed the sailor moon musicals, which i didnt know existed but of course that exists...thats funny considering the hxh mangaka is married to the sailor moon mangaka 

anyways that was fun honestly!!!! i fuckgin love musicals, and musical adaptations of non-musical source materials can be like, SO different tonally, but this honestly felt like a fun filler 

it was really interesting seeing something based on the canon from this early on - as i said above, some of the characterizations (like the zoldycks) seems a bit different than we’re used to, but others were spot on - like hisoka only showing up intermittently to sow chaos and do nothing else vhjkadhbfhkjdsfnj im assuming the yorknew arc hadnt happened at this point, but hisokas actions in this musical were hilariously similar to how he acted in the yorknew arc, so, props. 

plus it was cool to see the ‘what if’ factor w/hisoka and illumi also being there, espec illumi interacting w/killua bc its so wildly different from how killua reacts to any of his other family members - hes clearly scared of illumi, in a way he isnt w/anyone else, and that was done well here w/the scene where illumi threatens killua’s friends to get killua to listen to him

also the angst was honestly great, and there was some REALLY sweet wholesome parts that i loved. and the music wasnt half bad either!!

i think the VAs did a great job playing the characters - hisokas VA was especially great (and i really loved kurapika too). gons hair was not very similar to how it looks in the show so it was a little more obvious that he was being played by a grown woman, but still a great performance. 

anyways fun times, i love musicals and this was a fun ole 2000s filler shounen musical adaptation

[impracticaljokerssub]

ADVERTENCIA El siguiente programa contiene escenas de estupidez gráfica entre cuatro amigos que compiten para avergonzarse entre sí.

Qué tal a todos y bienvenidos!

Aquí iré subiendo capítulos de Impractical Jokers subtitulados al español a medida que vayan emitiéndolos por TruTV Latinoamérica. Y mientras me sea posible, claro. El subtitulado proviene de ellos y yo me ocupo de capturarlo del canal de cable. Para los usuarios de celulares, es recomendable usar un navegador web para la correcta visualización de la página en lugar de la aplicación.

Subir todo esto costó bastante trabajo y tomó mucho de mi tiempo así que me hice una cuenta en Cafecito.app para que, si lo sienten, puedan contribuir con unos pesos, lo que me ayudaría un montón y me alienta a seguir subiendo contenido de estos cuatro bromistas que tanto queremos. De nuevo, si lo sienten y quieren, todo monto es más que bienvenido :)

https://cafecito.app/impracticalespanol

Muchas gracias y que lo disfruten!

- Fran, admin

(Actualizado: 22/12/2020)

Capítulos disponibles:

TEMPORADA 1

1x01 - Pay It Forward 1x02 - Butterfly Crime Scene 1x03 - Unmotivational Speaker 1x04 - Boardwalk of Shame 1x05 - Drawing a Blank 1x06 - Panty Raid 1x07 - Out of TP 1x08 - Who Arted 1x09 - A Loser Presents 1x10 - What Did I Eat? 1x11 - Starfart Macchiato 1x12 - Bellydancer 1x13 - Charity Case 1x14 - Theater del Absurdo 1x15 - Pick a Loser 1x16 - Supercuts

TEMPORADA 2

2x01 - The Stoop Sessions Part 1 2x02 - The Stoop Sessions Part 2 2x03 - Elephant in the Room 2x04 - Art Attack 2x05 - Strip High Five 2x06 - Birds and the Bees 2x07 - Sound EffeXXX 2x09 - Psychotic Not-Line 2x10 - The Truth Hurts 2x11 - Get Out of Dodge 2x12 - The Love Expert 2x13 - Out of Fashion 2x14 - Scaredy Cat 2x15 - Joker vs. Joker

TEMPORADA 3

3x01 - Look Out Below 3x02 - The Great Escape 3x03 - Field of Screams 3x04 - Nationals Disaster 3x05 - Bonus Footage 3x06 - Toasted 3x07 - Scarytales 3x08 - Inside the Vault 3x09 - Bigger in Texas 3x10 - Snow Way Out 3x11 - Takes the Cake 3x12 - Anniversary Edition 3x13 - Jokers Playhouse 3x14 - Make Womb for Daddy 3x15 - Puncture Perfect 3x16 - Junk in the Trunk 3x17 - The Good, the Bad, and the Uncomfortable 3x18 - Baggage Shame 3x19 - Quantum Mock-anics 3x20 - Clash of the Jokers 3x21 - Tooth & Consequences 3x22 - Fe-Mail 3x23 - The Lost Boy 3x24 - Up Loser’s Creek 3x25 - In Poor Taste Buds 3x26 - The Permanent Punishment 3x27 - Parks and Wreck 3x28 - A Legendary Fail 3x29 - B-I-N-G-NO 3x30 - Just Say No 3x31 - Brother-in-Loss

TEMPORADA 4

4x01 - Welcome to Miami 4x02 - Below the Belt 4x03 - Uncool and the Gang 4x04 - Wrong Playwright 4x05 - Elevating The Game 4x06 - The Blunder Years 4x07 - Deal With The Devils 4x08 - Damned If You Do 4x09 - The Dream Crusher 4x10 - Joke & Dagger 4x11 - Pseudo-Sumo 4x12 - Car Sick 4x13 - Cruisin' For A Bruisin' 4x14 - Bathroom Break 4x16 - Captain Fatbelly 4x17 - Sneaking Number Twos, Going Number One 4x18 - Blind Justice 4x19 - Tied and Feathered 4x20 - Smushed 4x21 - Live Punishment Special 4x22 - The Big Uneasy 4x23 - Hopeless and Changeless 4x24 - Stripped of Dignity 4x25 - The Taunted House 4x26 - Doomed

TEMPORADA 5

5x01 - HellCopter 5x02 - You're Cut Off 5x03 - Ruffled Feathers 5x04 - Stare Master 5x05 - Bidder Loser 5x06 - The Good, The Bad, and the Punished 5x07 - Putting the P in Pool 5x08 - Statue of Limitations 5x09 - Brother of the Sisterhood 5x10 - Dark Side of the Moon 5x11 - Whose Phone Is Ringing? 5x12 - Centaur of Attention 5x13 - Browbeaten 5x14 - The Coward 5x15 - Virtual Insanity 5x16 - Laundry Day 5x18 - Hitting the Wrong Note 5x19 - Heckle and Hide 5x22 - Ash Clown 5x23 - Spider Man 5x24 - Stage Fright 5x25 - Training Day 5x26 - Nitro Circus Spectacular

TEMPORADA 6

6x01 - Swim Shady 6x02 - Lady and the Tramp 6x03 - The Parent Trap 6x04 - Catastrophe 6x05 - Vampire Weakened 6x06 - Footloose 6x07 - X-Man 6x08 - Medium, Well Done 6x09 - Drum and Drummer 6x11 - Stuffed Turkey 6x12 - Crickets 6x13 - Universal Appeal  6x14 - Paradise Lost 6x15 - Mime and Punishment 6x16 - Three Men and Your Baby 6x17 - The Q-Pay 6x18 - Rubbed the Wrong Way 6x19 - Flatfoot the Pirate 6x20 - Remember the Pact 6x21 - Silence of the Lame 6x22 - The Walking Dread 6x23 - Take Me Out at The Ball Game 6x24 - The Party Crasher

TEMPORADA 7

7x01 - The Marathon Man 7x02 - Guilty as Charged 7x03 - No Good Deed 7x04 - Stripteased 7x05 - Indecent Proposal 7x06 - Turning the Tables 7x07 - Lords of the Ring 7x08 - No Child Left Behind 7x09 - Pulling the Rug 7x10 - Speech Impediment 7x11 - Card Against Humanity 7x12 - Bull Shiatsu 7x13 - The Running Of The Bullies 7x14 - The Needy and the Greedy 7x15 - Washed Up 7x16 - To Hatch A Predator 7x17 - Like A Boss 7x18 - Chick Magnet 7x19 - Dropping Knowledge 7x20 - Hump Day 7x21 - Out of Left Field 7x22 - Autograph Corrector 7x23 - The Bogey Man 7x24 - Hell On Wheels 7x26 - Staten Island Holiday Spectacular

TEMPORADA 8

8x01 - Crash Test Dummies 8x02 - The Closer 8x03 - Tipping Point 8x04 - Full Mental Jacket 8x05 - Blue Man Dupe 8x06 - The Dumbbell 8x07 - The Eggman 8x08 - Cake Loss 8x09 - The Antisocial Network 8x10 - Off the Reservation 8x11 - Fraudway 8x12 - The Show Stopper 8x13 - Sucks for You 8x14 - Well... 8x15 - The Prize Fighter 8x16 - Sun-Fan Lotion 8x17 - Urine Trouble 8x18 - Irritable Vowel Syndrome 8x19 - Bad Carma 8x20 - Fast Feud

ESPECIALES

British Invasion A Day in the Life (Making of) Unseen Scenes All Aboard! One Night Stand Up Joker for a Day - Part 2 The Murray Jury Sizing Up Sal Judging Joe Critiquing Q Humiliation for the Holidays Fan-tastic Countdown   Punishment Countdown March Madness Showdown March Madness Bracket Attack

EN ESPAÑOL LATINO

2x11 - Get Out of Dodge 2x12 - The Love Expert 2x13 - Out of Fashion 3x08 - Inside the Vault 3x17 - The Good, the Bad, and the Uncomfortable 5x16 - Laundry Day 5x17 - Water Torture 5x18 - Hitting the Wrong Note 5x19 - Heckle and Hide 5x20 - The Chairman 5x21 - Wrapper's Delight 5x22 - Ash Clown 5x23 - Spider Man 5x24 - Stage Fright 5x25 - Training Day

AFTER PARTY

1x01 - The Q-Pay (6x17) 1x02 - Rubbed the Wrong Way (6x18) 1x03 - Flatfoot the Pirate (6x19) 1x04 - Remember the Pact (6x20) 1x05 - Silence of the Lame (6x21)  1x06 - The Walking Dread (6x22)  1x07 - Take Me Out at The Ball Game (6x23)  1x08 - The Party Crasher (6x24) 1x09 - Dover and Out (6x25) 3x01 - Crash Test Dummies (8x01) 3x02 - The Closer (8x02) 3x03 - Tipping Point (8x03) 3x04 - Off the Reservation (8x10) 3x05 - Fraudway (8x11)

Puedes ver Impractical Jokers por TruTV Latinoamérica todos los días a las 06.00, 14.00 y 22.00 hs.

[tamsythepansy]

Three years ago I performed what I called a “DRAGnificat”: to Austra’s “Painful Like”, a song about a furtive lesbian relationship in a disapproving small town, I mimed the heavily pregnant Mary wandering the streets of Bethlehem knocking on doors. Reactions from my drag friends ranged from “as a former church kid, that was really sweet and nostalgic!” to “that was A-1 blasphemy, I loved it”. Implicitly re-imagining the character of Mary as queer and trans presents a beautiful paradox; maybe we all have the capacity to bring something of the divine into the world. That the number struck a chord in an explicitly secular queer space seemed to hint that maybe queerness and faith aren’t as different as some would have us believe. (Also, I love my vocation, but I miss drag. Someday.) https://www.instagram.com/p/B6Qa2DBHulfHuQ4ynbUTiGWcZP8ZViUoWkaQaM0/?igshid=7t53sl8gzea9

[arcticdementor]

Let us begin with the comments section from a Youtube video of Michael D. Higgins’ presidential inauguration in 2011, the moment when the national anthem is played and many of the participants sang along with varying degrees of commitment and enthusiasm, a moment of palpable awkwardness. A comment that could have come from the pen of D.P. Moran himself sets the tone: “You see the mumbling and fumbling, even by An Uachtarán (sic.) English-speaking all, they persist in this charlatanic flummery, miming and mummery”.

A shrewd and appropriately poetic observation that may have a much wider, even metaphorical extension than the issue of mere competency in the Irish language and, of course, the day that was in it. Other commenters continued in this vein, “It is funny because many Irish are extremely anti-british BUT hate their own language”. Funny indeed, but not funny-haha, for this is a remark that more or less summarises in just one sentence the essential core of Douglas Hyde’s 1892 address, ‘The Necessity for De-Anglicising Ireland’. We can conclude this very brief review with a comment that really captures a certain aspect of the Irish Ireland movement, “[f]orget the ’32 County Republic’, without the language Ireland might as well rejoin the commonwealth”.

How remarkable it is to notice from a brief perusal of the comment section of a YouTube video that essentially nothing has changed since Hyde and Moran’s time, at least not in matters bearing on the well-being of the national psyche. Maybe there has been a change. Perhaps things have become worse?

We have very fine motorways, ingenious globalist finance schemes that are the envy of the world, we are garrisoned by the Silicon Valley Expeditionary Force, and we lead the world in the production of erection pills. These are all very impressive achievements if you are signed up to the Globalist’s “Ireland Inc.” vision but somewhat less inspiring if you hold to another.

In the first quarter of the twentieth century, the controversial figure of D.P. Moran (1869-1936) was an important influence on the cultural discussion that paralleled the political struggle for independence in Ireland at this time through his journal the Leader, founded in 1900. Not only his own writing, but his skill and vision as an editor, propelled The Leader to become a central locus of discussion and debate in what was known as the ‘Irish Ireland’ movement. Readers interested in a general account of D.P. Moran and his work should start with Paul Delaney’s 2003 article ‘D.P. Moran and the Leader: Writing an Irish Ireland Through Partition‘ and which contains much additional information in the notes.

…

The philosopher Martin Heidegger has observed in another context how obliviation involves not merely an obliviating of the matter at hand as conscious act, for we would surely remember doing such a thing, but rather a forgetting of a forgetting.  Complete obliviation comes when I do not remember that I have forgotten something: I have forgotten it and I have forgotten that I have forgotten it. This had become the strategic aim of the Elizabethan conquests and continued (continues?) to guide state policy here for a considerable period thereafter, namely, to obliviate the Irishness of the Irish and make of them good Englishmen.

The radical transformation of the Irish proposed by Edmund Spenser and his contemporaries would have to complete this oblivation in order for it to be truly successful. He understood all too well that real and lasting conquest will come not so much from crushing the body but from wiping the mind and recreating a new identity, and the only medium through which this mental conquest take place must be language: “wordes are the image of the minde, soe as, the[y] proceeding from the minde, the mynd must be needes affected with the wordes. Soe that the speach being Irish, the hart must needes be Irishe; for out of the aboundance of the hart, the tonge speaketh” (Spenser, A View of the Present State of Ireland, 1596). Replacing one system of images with another will at the same time transform the mind, from Irishman to Englishman.

Now, it should be readily apparent that the success of such a project rests on the degree to which obliviation can be brought to completion. Consider this; do any of the current inhabitants of Anatolia pine over the loss of Hittite? Are there disconsolate Iraqis lamenting the passing of Sumerian in ballads composed in Arabic and sung in the coffee houses of Baghdad? Hardly likely as these respective languages, insofar as they can be reconstructed at all, are solely the province of a small group of international scholars of ancient near eastern languages. These languages have been effectively obliviated and with them, the mentalities and worlds they constituted.

…

That Spenser’s project has not been entirely successful does not mean that all is well, rather it has created a very unhealthy mentality that to this day continues to bedevil Irish well-being within individuals and as a nation. Much emphasis has been placed on the external and physical damage wreaked by colonial conquest and foreign domination upon the Irish nation, but all too little has been devoted to examining the internal or mental, emotional and even spiritual damage.

…

Hyde believed that language is the front-line, so to speak, wherein this mentality replicates itself trans-generationally; “[it] continues to apparently hate the English, and at the same time continues to imitate them; how it continues to clamour for recognition as a distinct nationality, and at the same time throws away with both hands what would make it so.” I might add that this mentality is seen at its strongest and concentrated form among the Irish bourgeois-state class.

This mentality has had layers added and been rendered somewhat more complex with the advent of Globalisation, the cultural hegemony of America, and the reflexive tendency to look abroad for any and all solutions to problems on the underlying assumption that nothing good can come from within. Local solutions are routinely derided as “Irish solutions to Irish problems”, sometimes with just cause.  The relevant Wiki article defines this phrase as “any official response to a controversial issue which is timid, half-baked, or expedient, which is an unsatisfactory compromise, or sidesteps the fundamental issue.” Some commentators of the Irish condition, the present author included, contend that underlying this mentality and its accompanying tendencies is a deep psychical wound, and while acknowledging that this claim is deemed by some to be objectionable, it is nevertheless defensible.

…

Independent Ireland never really decolonised itself. If you want to see what decolonisation looks like, consider what happened in Hong Kong in 1997. At the stroke of midnight of the beginning of July 1st as the Union Jack came down, and the flag of the People’s Republic of China was raised, a fleet of vans with workmen spread across the territory unscrewing and removing every symbol of British rule, every ‘ER’, every lion and unicorn, every crown, so that when the citizens of Hong Kong arose the next morning and went about their business, not a trace of the British state was left to be seen anywhere. All this shows is what observers of the situation there always knew – the British never really got into the minds of the Chinese people. One hundred years on, the lion and the unicorn is still atop the Custom House. A failure in the external domain indicates failure internally.

…

At this point, the question must surely become: “Who are you?” For years now, we have been saturated with endless (and boring) discussions revolving around questions as to what it means to be Irish, but with no satisfactory conclusion. Of course not! Because the elephant in the room is assiduously avoided throughout. It is necessarily an endless inquiry because a priori there is tacit agreement that the obvious solution to the problem that generates the question in the first place will not be adopted, namely, to restore our own language to the condition of normality. And to anticipate a frequent objection; normalising Irish does not mean abandoning English. The Dutch are renowned for their fluency in English, yet Dutch is the normal language of national life in the Netherlands.

[franklyshipping]

The Gooper Adventures ~ Day 3 ~ A Markiplier Ego Fanfic

PAAARRTTT 3 OF THIS SERIES, LET'S SEE THE NEXT PATIEEEENT WOOHOO LET'S DO THIS!

TAGGING: @thegoodnewsdoctler @erik-lee-derekson and @ericleederekson @doctoripliler

Dr Iplier was a very, very happy man. His coffee machine was working at full capacity, he had no outstanding paperwork to pore over; he also only had one major appointment today which was with one of the sweetest people on the planet, and was with someone who the doctor was very excited to share company with. Iplier grinned when he heard the all too familiar, tentative knock at his door that was accompanied with a faint sniffle and shuffle.

'Come in!'

The doctor smiled fondly when Eric Derekson slowly entered his room, a timid smile on his face as he muttered.

'H-Hey doc, are you having a nice day?'

Iplier grinned and strode forward, engulfing the nervous man in a warm bear hug as he replied happily.

'I most certainly am....and don't tell anyone, but having your appointment today is the main reason!'

Iplier winked at Eric after releasing him from the hug, which made Eric giggle bashfully and mime zipping his lips shut before he skipped to the doctor's medical bench and laid down on it, as per usual. The check-up was of course related to maintenance of Eric's feet prosthetics that started from the bottom of his shins. Google, who developed them, obviously took care of the technical side of everything, whilst Iplier made sure that the real skin in contact with the artificial materials was kept strong with a salve that was applied every month so that Eric's skin layers would be tougher. Eric always enjoyed these appointments since he was basically just getting a massage.

After removing Eric's shoes and socks and rolling up his sweatpants, Iplier started rubbing some of the salve between his hands to warm it up as he grinned at his relaxed little patient.

'Is sir ready for the skin strengthening massage this morning?'

Eric burst into giggles at Iplier's put on posh accent, and nodded giddily as he put on a poncy voice of his own.

'I am indeed ready, and do hurry up I have a brunch appointment that I cannot be late for!'

The doctor gasped dramatically and bowed his head in mock respect of Eric's CLEAR superior station, and started massaging the skin that met with the prosthetic on his left leg.

'Of course sir of course, my apologies for my tardiness.'

Eric giggled happily before relaxing at the soothing treatment. Despite his stumps having healed long ago, it was important for the skin to be strengthened on a regular basis because of something in the prosthetic materials that would weaken his natural skin. Eric never complained because he got a free massage every month, and it always helped him unwind and forget about his anxieties for a little while. Until....this occasion, when a little crash from under Iplier's desk made Eric jump and bolt upright.

'Wh-what was that?!'

Eric looked around, not out of fear, but out of curious confusion. Iplier's office was the one place that had the fewest random, strange occurrences, so this was most irregular. Then he looked curiously to the doctor, since Iplier had sighed and smiled as he wiped his hands on a towel, before looking to the floor near his desk.

'That, was the world's smallest troublemaker.'

Eric furrowed his brows before following the doctor's gaze, and he gasped at the sight that he saw. It was Gooper. Eric had heard about the little creature from the septics but had never actually met him before! At present, Gooper was on the floor next to Iplier's metal, mesh trash can...which had been tipped over. Gooper was engaging in a tug of war, with said trash can, for a paperclip that had gotten caught in the trash can's wire mesh. The little monster was quite annoyed about this, and was letting out a constant stream of growls and snarls as he tugged and tugged at the little piece of stationary. The doctor grinned, and then cleared his throat.

'Uh....bud? Why are you fighting with the trash can?'

Gooper growled even more, not relinquishing the battle as he hopped up and down with clear annoyance; the doctor by this point, had learned to understand Gooper's little language since it was always a combination of sounds and movements. Eric covered his mouth with his hand, giggling as the doctor sighed softly.

'The trash didn't steal your paperclip!'

Iplier stated pointedly, before letting out a little gasp when Gooper's growling got even deeper as he strained to reclaim HIS paperclip.

'Don't you take that tone with me! The trash can is inanimate and the paperclip just got stuck! Ugh, frigging squish....'

Eric kept giggling as Iplier sent him an apologetic look, and he observed curiously as Iplier went and crouched down to Gooper's little scene of attempted conquest. He swiftly unhooked the paperclip from the metal mesh and gave it to Gooper, who let out a quiet little gurgle that served as a thank you, and as an apology for being a grumpy squish. Iplier gave him a little pet before picking him up and taking him to Schneeple's jumper, wherein Gooper swiftly scooted into the bundle to deposit his little treasure. Eric couldn't handle it. He was too cute.

'I-Iplier p-please may I hold him he looks so cute and soft and adorable please please tell me I-I can hold him?!'

....the doctor thought that his heart was legitimately going to melt. He took one look at Eric's puppy dog eyes and hopeful smile, and smiled back.

'Of course you can....hey mr, you wanna meet a sweet friend of mine?'

One soft gurgle later, the little creature emerged from the jumper, and squeed at the sight of the new Iplier person who he hadn't noticed before. He crooned as Iplier scooped him up, and immediately mewled warmly when he was placed in Eric's hands softly; this Iplier's pets were particularly tentative and gentle...Gooper reasoned that this Iplier was absolutely very cute because of how gentle he was.

'H-H-He's s-so p-precious....'

Eric sniffled and stammered happily as he ran his fingertips over the creature carefully, he didn't want to cause him ANY kind of distress. Dr Iplier smiled and decided to stroke Eric's hair softly, because Eric had soft hair so why the hell not. The doctor smiled fondly at Eric's soft sniffles, before grinning and whispering.

'Careful, if he thinks you're upset he'll tickle the hell out of you.'

Eric's cheeks went a soft pink as he giggled, a little shiver going down his spine at the thought of the little creature finding all his tickle spots....but then he remembered, he was a big human! Eric figured that he could keep the upper hand easily, and so he looked up at Iplier and teased back happily.

'N-Not i-if I t-t-tickle him first!'

Iplier let out a soft laugh as he watched Eric carefully scratch Gooper's underbelly....and the doctor did consider warning Eric that there was NO way Gooper would let him get away with that....but this was too cute to hinder. As Gooper squealed and wriggled, the doctor teased softly.

'Wow, you're such a meanie!'

Eric grinned bashfully, but ended up whining to the doctor in an attempt to justify himself.

'B-But he's so cuuute, h-he has goofy baby squeals!'

Gooper, without a doubt, turned a few shades darker of green when he heard the new Iplier blatantly teasing him. That was not fair, he didn't have baby squeals he didn't he didn't! He couldn't help how he sounded! Gooper had never felt more embarrassed in his whole life, and ended up squealing more as he curled up around Eric's tickly fingers. This was so not fair! Meanwhile, Iplier ruffled Eric's hair and gave him a playful nudge, deciding that it was Eric's turn to be on the receiving end of some teasing.

'Oh yeah? How would you like it if someone tickled your tummy and teased about it?'

Eric froze, stopping the tickling, and blushed a bright red as his words failed to come to him. And that....was Gooper's cue to take his revenge. Before Eric could even react or retort to the, now excitedly smirking, doctor, his attention was caught by a certain little squish...letting out quite the battle growl. Gooper scooted faster than he ever had scooted, shooting up Eric's sleeve before dropping down in search of the goldmine that was Eric's tummy. In Gooper's book, gentle people often have sensitive tummies....and as he latched onto Eric's and vibrated his form, he was NOT disappointed.

'EEEHEHEHEE AHAHAHA OHONO-HEHEHEEELP!!'

The doctor stepped back away from Eric, laughing at how he immediately arched his back along with flailing arms and kicking legs. There were no build up giggles or titters, Eric was just straight up consumed by the cutest high-pitched laughter that Dr Iplier ever had heard.

'Hey you started it! Gooper's just getting revenge, fair and square.'

Iplier smirked as he mused, and chuckled softly when Eric sent him a VERY strong pout. Eric couldn't believe that Iplier as just watching him being tickled! No, scratch that, tickle tortured! Gooper was nuzzling and vibrating so deep into Eric's chubby tummy that it felt like Gooper was ticking him from the inside out! Eric couldn't stop squealing as he hit the medical bench with his hands desperately.

'BUHUHUT IHIHI DIHIHIDN'T TIHIHICKLE THIHIS MUHUUUUCH!!'

Eric whined amidst his mirth, but the doctor merely remained an amused observer as he replied frankly.

'That may be, but you did tease him too!'

Eric proceeded to hide his face in his hands as he cackled, predominantly due to the fact that Dr Iplier's words were entirely truthful....he'd started it....so he deserved to be tickled in return. How could he have been so silly to think that this clever, adorable tickle monster wouldn't get revenge on him?! Oh this was such an evil pickle for Eric. For Gooper though, he was having the absolute time of his life. There. Was. So. Much. Tummy. Everywhere around him, it was just tummy, and part of Gooper honestly hoped that he could just live engulfed by this warm softness forevermore....but then he figured it would be a bit TOO mean to tickle the soft Iplier here forever. So, Gooper wriggled down to Eric's waist, nuzzling it happily. Eric, of course, shrieked with a new-found need to justify himself. 

'B-B-BUHUHUHUT HEHEHE'S T-TEHEHEASABLE!'

...yes, that really WAS the best that he could come up with. Eric had rolled onto his side and partially curled himself up, laughing as he twitched and jumped as his waistline was played with. Iplier folded his arms and raised an eyebrow as he looked over the sweet boy, shaking his head as he taunted.

'So are you, tickle boy.'

....Eric had been in the midst of peeking through his fingers to look at the doctor. He aborted that plan, with immediate effect. Eric hid his face in his forearms as he wailed. It wasn't even a detailed tease, and yet it affected him. It wasn't even very personalised, and yet it affected him. Which thus proves how Eric is in fact, incredibly teasable

'NAHAHAHA NAHAHA SHUHUHUSHY!!'

Eric cried out, since Gooper was becoming more and more in earnest as he wriggled over and nuzzled into his waist, the little fibres at his underbelly fluttering and scratching away rapidly as Gooper got more and more excited. And, as you can probably tell, an excited Gooper is a far more evil Gooper, hence the increased rapidity of his tickling. Iplier of course continued in his role of teaser, since it was pretty hard for Gooper to tease AND tickle, so the doctor kept up his assistance. It was only fair.

'Woooow, rude much? Especially since you're the one loudly shrieking, not me!'

Iplier replied to Eric with the utmost indignance, looming over a writhing Eric who simply tried to curl up more because now he was being attacked on two fronts and all he could think to do was to try and hide away. All Eric really ended up doing though was proving Iplier's point....by shrieking.

'IHIHIHI CAHAHAN'T HEHEHELP IHIHIIIIT!!'

Thankfully for Eric though, with his echoing cry, he was granted a tad bit of mercy. Gooper relinquished the torture at his waist and simply rested on it, and gurgled in amusement when he heard the little yips of hiccups come from the gentle Iplier's mouth. That was cute. Hiccupies are cute. Dr Iplier thought this too, and he couldn't keep the fond smile off his face as he looked down at Eric who was hiccupping and giggling residually.

'Poor little Eric.....such a loud little ticklee....'

Eric gazed up at Iplier pleadingly, his eyes begging for mercy from the teasing as his face burned with embarrassment. Eric was trembling and smiling preciously, almost overcome from it all. However, Gooper was not quite yet done. Gooper had spotted the little indents that were the bowels of Eric's hips....and so decided to see what would happen if he nestled into one of them, nuzzling it a little. The results were not disappointing. Eric let out a soft, initial gasp, before descending into a mess of purrs and titters. Gooper had found his melting spots.

'N-N-Nuuuhhuhuhuhehehhh nnnuuhhh.....'

Iplier blinked in confusion for a few moments, hurrying to place his forearm behind Eric's head as it lolled back. The doctor soon understood the situation however, and was just entirely enamoured. Iplier knew that practically everyone had melty areas or spots, but he'd so far been under the impression that Eric was someone who did not have such places. The doctor was so damn pleased to be wrong.

'Awwww what's thiiiis? I think someone has some sweet melty hiiiips....'

The doctor purred as Gooper kept up the gentle rubbing into the soft flesh, relishing in Eric's weak little whimpers and barely coherent slurs of speech.

'Pleheheeee.....nuhuhuhuhhh teheheasssee....'

Hearing the gentle Iplier react like that was beyond sweet, and part of Gooper wondered what would happen if he went for both indents at once, which he easily could by splitting his form. However, he could see that the gentle Iplier was having a very nice time, and after all the tickling he'd done, Gooper wanted to make sure that he didn't go over the top again. So, he carefully moved the bowel of Eric's other hip, giving it the same treatment whilst gurgling sweetly at the doctor Iplier's previous words; these were definitely special me-eelty (?) spots.

'Well I think Gooper agrees with me....'

Gooper let out another little gurgle of confirmation at Iplier's next purr, before merely continuing the treatment that he knew the gentle Iplier was enjoying. And Eric was enjoying it....partially. I mean, he was clinging to the doctor's arms and shoulders by this point as he whimpered and giggled as tickly, warm tingles shot through his meek form. However, that new warmth did help to melt away some of the anxieties and stresses that had built up in his system....so yes, he was definitely enjoying it.

'Mmmnn.....m-meheheaniesss....b-behest meheanihiiiies....'

Eric stammered with a lazy smile, hiding in Iplier's chest and blushing crimson when he felt it quiver with the doctor's amused chuckles. Iplier's heart just swelled at how unbelievably sweet Eric was....if he hadn't been holding Eric to his chest, the doctor might have convinced himself that such sweetness was merely in his imagination. Gooper thought that Eric was sweet too, sweet and gentle and precious and soft and perfect. So he decided to have mercy for real this time. The little creature could feel how the tension had bled away from Eric, so he figured that it was the perfect time to stop, since Eric was in the perfect state of relaxation and un-stressiness. As Eric gasped and shivered, Gooper slid out from under his shirt, resting on Eric's lap. He immediately yipped when he saw both Ipliers in an embrace; the doctor smiled, winking proudly at the creature.

'Good job buddy.'

There were a few moments then where Gooper rested on Eric, and Eric rested on Dr Iplier's chest. Gooper was recovering from all the tickling he'd inflicted, Eric was recovering from all the tickling he'd received, and Dr Iplier was recovering from how much insane cuteness he had perceived. All in all....it had been a lot. Soon though, after making sure Eric was okay, Iplier quickly went back down to his shins to make sure all the salve he'd rubbed in earlier had sunk into the skin properly and evenly. Gooper of course rolled himself down Eric's legs so he could have a look at the special parts that the doctor Iplier had helped put on the gentle Iplier; Gooper knew he couldn't significantly contribute, but gave Eric's shins a little head-butt each of affection to show his love. Eric smiled and gasped softly, tears welling up in his eyes.

'Th-thahank you....b-b-bohoth of you...'

The doctor smiled as he scooped Gooper up into one of his hands, before helping Eric to his feet carefully, whilst teasingly remarking.

'You are most welcome Mr Derekson.'

Iplier spoke airily and poshly as a homage to their earlier conversation, but was surprised to see Eric suddenly blink and become rather bashful. Eric took in some air before speaking, with the most amount of pride that Iplier had ever heard.

'A-Actually....i-it's Mr Iplier now. D-Dark helped me sort it.'

....now Dr Iplier was the one with the tears in his eyes. I don't need to explain why, I think it's pretty clear why this is so damn meaningful. Iplier nodded and brought Eric into a swift hug, making the man giggle happily.

'Mr Eric Iplier....that definitely suits you.'

Eric grinned, still with a strong sense of pride, as they parted. And after giving the happily squeaking Gooper a final pet, he left with his head held high and his strides solid and steady. Before the doctor could weep however, he felt something nuzzling his palm. Iplier grinned when he looked down at a, rather needy, Gooper, whining and head-butting his palm as a cry for attention. Which he certainly deserved, since whenever he administered a great bout of tickling he always needed after-affection to help get his strength back up. Iplier of course complied, stroking Gooper with his fingertips as he sunk into his desk chair. Iplier made a mental note to find some more paperclips.

WOOOO HPE YOU GUYS LIKE THIS NEXT PART WOOOOPPP LEMME KNOW IF YA DO WOOO LUV YOUS XX

[whenimgoodandready]

“If you love someone, set them free” and if they love someone else, (record scratch) continue to love them despite all that cuz you need to win them over while they’re still single! You think it sounds bad!? Well, tell that to Cat Noir! Cuz he’s not getting the message straight! He’s loving in vain! It’s not just him though, look who else is following that example:

*The Puppeteer 2-Madame Tussauds wax museum comes to Paris, France as it features celebrities we’ve seen in the show! All the way from Jagged Stone to Adrien himself! Cool! It’s the perfect place for a date! Alya and Nino are there and so are Adrien and Marinette! And Manon? Wait, what? Why’s she there? OOOOOOOOH! Marinette was babysitting again and dragged her along cuz it’s like any babysitter in a cliche sitcom sceanario to have your charge tag along with you to somewhere you’d rather be! 😅. That never ends well.

Alya planned this so that this can be the day where Marinette Dupain-Cheng finally confesses her feelings for Adrien Agreste. It’s been 2 (and a half) seasons already and girl needs to get this off her chest! Yes, we know she’s still unable to talk to Adrien romantically, but she’s come this far already with being friends with him and also playing video games with him (“Gamer”), going to a concert (“Pixelator”), the movies (“Gorizilla”), dancing with him (“Despair Bear”), getting a birthday gift from him (“Befana”), dancing in a music video with him (“Frightningale”), kissing him! (���Heroes Day”), so now that day to tell him her hearts content is today! Get it girl!

Unfortunately, since it was supposed to be kept secret from Adrien, Alya’s plan gets screwed up cuz her boyfriend misinterprets her words and Marinette is more awkward than ever giving Adrien the impression that Marinette hates him (Nino was too clear on the “deny everything” answer and Marinette failed at phrasing the word “like”😒). Adrien tries to “win back Marinettes friendship” thinking he made a mistake and while that’s happening, Alya and Nino check out the wax figures of themselves and be all lovey-dovey with each other. It may all look cute, but as a little meerkat once sang, 🎶And with all this romantic atmosphere, disasters in the air🎶. Yup, let’s not forget there’s still a child present, Manon is left alone and ignored cuz she’s just a kid who hasn’t grasped the concept of love yet, so she feels miserable with no one to play with. This is what causes her to be akumatized. Again!

Her powers stronger in this case cuz she’s in a building full of wax statues, and in the Heroes Room, of ALL THE SUPERVILLAINS THAT SHE CAN BRING TO LIFE! Don! Don! Don! There’s Lady Wifi, The Bubbler, Evillustrator, Reflekta, Gamer, Antibug, Mime, Timetagger, Pixelator, etc, with everyone there, it’s Heroes Day 2.0 up in here! And if they’re all using their powers at once with the heroes, they’re doomed! Oh no! Wait! The supervillains are made of wax! They’ll fall apart. Literally! Lol! Okay, no need to worry much, relax folks.

The big scene in this episode was the infamous Statue Scene! Yup, it’s right up there with the Umbrella Scene (“Stoneheart - Origins, Part 2”) and The Balcony Scene (“Glaciator”). I’m guessing we have a big signature scene for each season here. Adriens idea of “winning back Marinettes friendship” was to cheer her up by posing as his own wax figure for a joke. Marinette buys into it (love makes you stupid) and starts making a fool of herself around it while Adrien watches awkwardly trying to stay still (oh the cringe😬). Adrien witnessed every creepy thing Marinette does to him with the whole sniffing, lock of hair plucking keepsake and the (almost) kiss! That’s when he finally breaks character. Well, Mr.Agreste, no thanks to your little stunt there, poor Marinette is completely humiliated! Not cool kid, not cool! Well, his intentions were good. He cares an awful lot about Marinette and wants to win everyone’s favor so he won’t be so lonely all the time. Sadly, because he’s been sheltered his whole life, he’s blind to social norms and this backfired on him cuz his (unknown) love interest is a nervous wreck. Marinette, despite coming a long way to be close to Adrien, wants something more than just friendship and she fails to confess her feelings cuz she fears rejection like most people. She should listen to what Cat Noir said about confidence. “If it’s something important from the heart, let it out”. In the end, Marinette and Adrien promise not to prank each other anymore (she said she “knew” about his prank) and that she does like him (platonically). She then hears about “the girl he loves”, (her alter ego), and is heartbroken. Poor baby. This almost ended Adrienette, but Tikki saved it by giving Marinette hope (she knows the truth that’s why). Well, it’s “Glaciator” all over again! Ladybug had told Cat Noir she likes “another guy”, yet he still flirts with her and now Adrien tells Marinette about “the girl he loves” and she too continues to win him over. Is this the kind of message we want to send to kids? “If the one you love loves someone else, you should never give up on them even though they don’t feel the same about you!?”. I mean, I know it’s still themselves they’re in love with, but let’s pretend for a moment they’re not. That would mean its teaching kids not to take no for an answer! That’s not right! You’re giving these kids false hope! I know Adrienette is endgame, but think about the consequences of these actions people! I’m all for the ship, but how much longer do we need to be frustrated!?😡. (recomposes themselves) Okay, I get it, I get it. They’re teenagers, so of course, teenagers can be stupid and screw up on romance, so I’ll let it slide. I’m still hoping that Adrienette will be canon by the end of Season 3 like it was rumored. Cuz if not, I’m gonna be really pissed off! :P.