#p: bts x reader
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yeyinde · 1 month ago
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ghoapxreader in the baby trapping series IM BEGGING 🧎‍♀️
i think i've exhausted the whole "tampering with contraceptives" thing to death by now so i would probably do something different with them. like a surrogate situation or something, but awful lmao
maybe down on her luck reader is in desperate need of cash, and these two men swoop in to save you from this horrible pit you've fallen into.
you need money. they need a baby.
simple, right?
except the simplicity falls apart when they blatantly tell you they want a natural insemination—as in, a threesome.
multiple, the pretty Scot tells you. after all, it has tae take, hen.
(and this is the part where you should have run. the moment when you'd be screaming at the television at the hapless protagonist as they walk mindlessly into danger despite the warning signs hanging overhead. but like the oblivious hero, you're too blinded by pretty, gleaming white to realise that the thing you're marveling over is a maw. cracked open wide and full of jagged, deadly teeth rearing up to sink inside of you.
but the problem with making shady deals when you're desperate is that no one really bothers to read the fine print, do they? and by the time you see past their crooked charm, you're waving your child off as they skip up the stairs to school, standing like a prisoner between them as they lean down and ask if you're ready for another—)
but that comes later.
what comes first is message on Craiglist.
one that you spend less time considering it than you should have. desperation, you find, clouds your judgement. blots out common sense. makes you susceptible to manipulation. and oh, how susceptible you are. despite priding yourself on your common sense and keen self-awareness, the overarching issues hanging over your head like an idling guillotine seem to erase that instructive need for self-preservation.
so, when the message itself pops up, you're already primed for making bad choices. ones out of malformed desperation. the barrage of texts from your landlord demanding rent, the ones sent to your family in moments of dire need asking for fruitless aid that will never come in time if the read receipts mean anything at all. the package from HR apologising for the inconvenience, but this was, regrettably, the only feasible option for the company at present, and too bad you didn't sign up for that union, huh? student loans. credit cards.
the measureable calamity of your life manifests itself in the shape of a black cloud hanging onto your aching shoulder, wrapping long, inkstained fingers around your jugular as it hisses the insurmountable figure needed to climb out of this pit in your ear.
sleepless, of course, hasn't helped.
and in that bog you can't swim through, their offer sounds far more appealing than it should.
let's meet up somewhere, comes the next message at half past three in the morning as you talk yourself in (and out) of this mess. talk about things more.
what else are you supposed to do?
job hunting sites mock you with their generic emails, thanking you for applying, and saying they'll reach out within a few business days for an interview if you're a good fit. ones sent off weeks ago. hundreds of them to no avail. it's almost like you're being plagued. blacklisted from the city.
even the fast food chain down the street refused your application when you sent it in, and the help wanted sign has been taped on the drive-thru window since you were sixteen.
it all pushes you closer and closer to making stupid choices, like replying with a simple (nervous, shaky, bile-tinged) sure to the message they sent. i'm down—
(—and drowning)
but you're smart enough to know better, so you act like it, too.
ping your location to your friends. tell them where you're going. clutch your keys so tightly in your fist that your knuckles just out through thin skin. layers upon layers of safety measures glimpsed through the various articles about how to stay alive.
but all the tremulous air is siphoned from your lungs when you see them for the first time.
something magnetic thrums through your chest. copper sutures running lines from their skin to yours until touching just seems like the most natural thing in the world. and you suppose it is when the pretty Scot folds you into a tight hug, cinching you close to his chest as if he's known you his whole life instead of just several seconds.
he's a thing of beauty. chiselled from marble, almost; David made human when he runs his tanned hand through the tumble of uneven hair along his crown. eyes the same varicoloured palette of a boscage in autumn framed in the setting sun's golden halo.
there's a distinct ruggedness about his beauty, too. one that reminds of you a lion's mane. the sleek fur of a stallion. pretty in a wild way. and as his eyes list towards you again and again, like he can't quite manage his fill of staring at you, taking you in, you think about that wildness again. the hunger in his eyes so similiar to the desperation of a predator fattening up for the encroaching chill of winter. it makes you shiver, but you can't look away
(because you know what's waiting for you when you do)
and when you finally pluck up the courage to glance at the shape devouring the light with his intimidating bulk, you come to quick realisation that if Johnny is the personification of an autumn evening, then the man standing next to him is the tried and true testament that bad things happen after dark.
he's a strange figure, one who veers almost comically into the uncanny valley with his hood pulled over the plain, black ballcap hanging low over his brow. a balaclava covering every inch of his face with the exception of a small, ovaled hole for his eyes. remnants of something ashy smear into the corners, running up the crooked bend of his nose.
he doesn't look like a real man—not with those liquid, haunting eyes—but at the same time, there's something preternaturally human about him. a stereotypical sense of masculinity—just one warped around the edges.
with his worn jeans pulled tight over thick, bulging thighs, and the silver zipper of his hoodie resting at the base of his throat, you could easily think he was just another man in the crowd, but it's off. a glitch. a skip.
like mistaking a coat rack for a man in the dead of night.
eerie.
dangerous.
if the man beside him is playfully carnivorous, a basking lion rolling onto his belly at the zoo, separated by thick glass, then he (Simon, Johnny supplies readily when the silence lingers; Simon Riley), Simon, is what it feels like to be followed home at night.
but—
there's something about fear and desire that are almost inseparable when broken down into a physiological response.
and when he steps up behind you, close enough that you can feel the heat of his body soaking into the drying sweat on your back, you liken the way your heart climbs up your throat to same as it would seeing a dorsal fin cutting above the waves in open water.
desire, you think, and then catching the white-hot burn of the stare, you add, in a thin whisper: fear.
when they sit you down, and begin to spin a story about how they just want a baby—no strings attached—you stay seated in the chair even as an itch in the back of your head starts, nails scraping at your skull.
their reluctance toward traditional methods makes sense when they explain that with their lifestyle, it's impossible—or the Scottish man does; the other one with a marbled skin of thick, ugly scars on his hands just stares, pinning you down with the weight of his gaze—and this arrangement is the only way they'll get the baby they've been hoping for.
and even though the scratching in your head sounds suspiciously like why you and run, you eat the food they bought for you in the fancy restaurant where appetisers start at $30, and a glass of water is priced at $6. volcanic spring water, the waiter explains as he pours it from a marbled glass pitcher.
you haven't eaten a real meal that wasn't microwavable or cup noodles in weeks.
maybe that's why you find yourself thinking why not instead of no.
they're attractive men. it's not the worst situation you could have found yourself in, even if the idea of parenthood—however brief it's supposed to be—has bile clawing up the back of your throat, and the bones housing your trembling heart feeling laden, heavy like iron, and starts to cinch your chest shut each day, squeezing tighter, and tighter, and—
they drop off the first the installment to you the moment your doctor starts to talk about boerhaave syndrome, as if they know the doubts that plague your head when they leave your apartment and the silence starts to mock you.
and that leads you here.
guilt for their situation. desperation over your own. an overarching need to please. it's all a dangerous cocktail that douses over rationality until you're nodding along, accepting their words as gospel until sleeping with them—multiple times—doesn't seem like such a bad thing.
until it happens. until you have Johnny and Simon actively working to knock you up. a marathon of intense sex with the single-minded goal of putting their baby in you.
Johnny drooling all over you as he ruts between your thighs, mindlessly driving himself into a frenzy as he slurres out his desires in an incomprehensible mess of English and Gaelic and animalistic grunts. barely pulling out in time before Simon is pressing your knee down to the mattress, cooing mockingly at the mess his boy made of you. cruelly taking bets as he slides into your sore, aching cunt about who will take first. his or Johnny's? and who do you want, birdie? who's baby do you want first?
fingers always shoving inside to cap the overflow when they exhaust themselves in a liquid-limbed stupor, barely conscious as you tapped out some three, four rounds ago. unable to keep your eyes open any longer as they both came to the same conclusion that cumming inside of you at the same time was the quickest way to knock you up together. ain't he a romantic, birdie?
and it's probably for the best that you passed out before it happened, drooling on Simon's scarred shoulder as he gripped the cheeks of your ass, pulling you wide open as Johnny shuffled forward between his spread legs, eyes riveted to the spot where Simon's cock split you open. the ache you felt the next morning, coming to on a broad chest with fingers stuffed inside of you—shush, shush, just keeping you nice an' plugged, sweetheart—was almost unbearable.
you expected them to clear out after getting what they want, but they stay. tend to you carefully like you're made of fine china.
or—Johnny does. bundles you up in his arms before setting off towards the bath, finally letting you wash the sticky, flaking grime from your skin, some awful mixture of drying cum, spit, and sweat, groaning in your ear as he pulls you to his damp, hairy chest about how sweet you are for them. how they're going to take care of you.
Simon caters to other things. packs your bags as Johnny scrubs thick fingers over your shoulders, pausing to grasp a sore, tender breast in his palm, hefting the weight up as he feverishly mutters about how hot it'll be to watch you feed their baby. an' maybe you'll let him have a little taste, too—
and when you finally emerge from the bath, sorer between the thighs than you were when you woke up, another mess pooling in the gusset of the panties he pulled up your legs, Simon's waiting, eyes riveted to your belly. staring at it with so much hunger, a cold sweat breaks out along the nape of your neck.
in the grand scheme of things, the threesome is the easy part. the hard part comes when they turn the arrangement into a prison, locking the shackles around your wrists when the pregnancy test comes back positive a few weeks later.
they're only doing what's best for their baby, they say, when they move you out of your apartment and into theirs. the cut lease was the only way to do it, Johnny says, shrugging. why make you pay for something you aren't using anymore?
and maybe if your head was thickened with a fog, you'd have questioned the phrasing, but as it stands, pregnancy, even as early as this one, adles you. leaves you a syrupy mess of emotions that they take turns exploiting. aren't you so lonely all by yourself, hen? don' ye want a family?
aren't they good enough for you?
it's less subliminal messaging and more overt coersion. what are you going to do after this? where will you go with your lease cut? and when the funds run dry? what then?
gonna find another couple to knock you up? Simon hisses, mangled hands mauling your belly, pinching and squeezing the flesh as if he could feel the fragile box their happiness is housed inside. should jus' stay with us if that's the case, birdie.
but it's all so sweet, in its own way—
(—sweet like a parasite nesting inside of it's host.
but at least you'll never be lonely.)
they stand by the fact that they're looking out for you. that they care. that they can't do much else but idle and watch your body evolve into something new (an' magnificent, Johnny breathes, kissing this unfamiliar shape you call home) and it grates at them because they're not used to feeling so useless, so can't you just let them do this for you? take care of you in all the ways they see fit? like cutting your lease and giving you a better place to stay. handing in your resignation from that shitty nine to five that wore you down to the bone. culling out the annoyances in your life���the friends and family—who kick up needless fits over your wellbeing, and just stress you out more than you need to be.
they're not good enough for you, is what Simon says when you ask why he blocked them from your phone, Johnny hovering by the doorway with his arms folded over his chest. barring the exits, you'll realise later. but what comes first is fear, is anger, is—
happiness. maybe. or some broken, fragile facsimile of it. a subpar humuliculus masquerading around as if it was realised flesh and bone.
"oh," you say, and think you should be touched by his care, his concern, and so you are. shape this emotion from the sludge that pools at the bottom of your chest, running fingers through the muck to find pieces of gold. and then: "thank you, Simon."
it's sweet. or it could have been if it didn't spiral out of your control when they systematically dismantle your entire life until all you're left with is loose sediment slipping through your fingers. the foundation itself soften clay they shape into the image they've been after with the whole time: you.
(or more specifically, a momma for their baby.)
and when they ask you, at the end of this thin, fraying tether, if you want to be with them—an equal, a mother—and be a mother again for them, there's nothing else you could say except yes.
nothing because they made it so.
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bambieheeseunglee · 20 days ago
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STICKYYY
Lee Heeseung - 01 line!
Nishimura Riki - 05 line!
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th4saapobangpo · 5 months ago
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⋆P0rn links⋆
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MINORS DNI!! I recommend to ignore the caption of most of the videos, please and thank you !!🪽
-⋆ BTS
-⋆ OUTER BANKS
-⋆ KÖNIG
-⋆ SIMON RILEY
-⋆ ELVIS PRESLEY
-⋆ LANA DEL REY
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yoon-kooks · 2 years ago
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When is it coming? The realll dirty p&p chap i mean 👀👀👅
im aiming for tomorrow (3/4) at 12PM PST! READ IT HERE🥴
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⛓️pairing: hotnerd!jungkook x popular!reader
⛓️genre: smut, fluff, college!au, this specific chapter is pwp🌶️
⛓️summary: You decide to push Jeon Jungkook's buttons until he snaps and puts you in your place like the little slut you are.
⛓️word count: 2k+
⛓️warnings: catdilf!jungkook, dom!jungkook, sub!reader, daddy kink, good girl kink, nudes, hickeys, oc is a lil horny brat, jk puts her in her place, degradation, "slut" is used a lot, boobie squeezes, begging, she wants his cock so bad��, masturbation, oral nerd fantasy, fingering, edging, orgasm denial
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dolligguk · 3 days ago
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im gonna cry this fic is my muse </3
Wer is grumpy jk! We badly need it 😫😭
summary: you and jungkook are getting closer, moving forward – but to where, exactly? what does that entail for your relationship? 
w/c: 3.3k
note: this is for all the girlies who asked for part 2 for this drabble. nothing but fluff in here ): ive been thinking abt college jk lately and i lowkey like this grumpy!jk guy… basically this takes place two months after the first drabble u may read this amm for grumpy!jk for a brief bg on what their relationship has become before u go read this parr. anyway the ending is a bit diabolical and im saying sorry in advance
also pls listen to come here by kath bloom, its literally so them 😮‍💨😖
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It’s almost natural the way Jungkook immediately slings his backpack on one shoulder, heads straight out of the lecture hall, and starts the almost ten-minute walk from his department building to yours the moment his last class for the day was dismissed. 
He waits outside by the hallway along the lecture room, scrolling through his phone mindlessly, knowing that any minute now you’ll be coming out of the door. 
And just as a slew of students’ chattering becomes louder, their heavy footsteps coming out from the hall, Jungkook instantly spots you; talking to a friend animatedly – Joy, maybe? – before you look to the other side and finally see him. 
“Jungkook!” You exclaim with excitement, smiling up at him and even doing a little wave. Jungkook watches as you turn to your friend. “Sorry, I gotta go. Zoom meeting at five, right?” He hears you say before she nods, bidding your goodbyes to each other before she goes in the opposite direction while you saunter towards him with that usual dashing grin on your face. 
Jungkook meets you halfway, lips curling up slightly at your enthusiastic greeting. Even more so when you don’t fight off the way he goes for your tote bag, taking it off your shoulder and wearing it on his own, the weight not adding that much to his own bag perched on his back. 
He remembers the first time he tried to do it (awkwardly, might he add), and you vehemently refused. But Jungkook can be persistent sometimes when he wants to, and eventually you gave up trying to resist.
Currently, as you walk along the hallway out of your building, standing close together, Jungkook tries not to think too much about how easy this feels. Like it’s normal the way you immediately interlock your arm around his own, skipping a little bit upon your walk as you begin speaking.
“You really did cut your hair.” You marvel at him when he looks down at you. And he can’t help it; the blood rushing to his cheeks and certainly on his ears. 
“I sent you a picture.” He simply says. It was yesterday. He originally went to his barber for just a trim but he remembers you saying something about a particular actor’s haircut… and look, it’s not like he was trying to look like that man but it may have influenced the decision a little bit… 
Anyway, he thinks it looks okay on him. He trusts his barber and Hoseok said it suits him. From your response, you also said it looks nice. 
And you tell him so. “I like it! You look so good. Especially with this frame!” You point to his eyeglasses, smiling up at him. “I was thinking you were just sending me a random picture last night.” 
Jungkook chuckles. “I wasn't, and uh, thank you.”
“You're welcome. Anyway,” you say, “Did you wait for long earlier? Sorry ‘bout that. Prof. Shin had to extend a little bit ‘cause there were a lot of questions about our new project.” 
“You have a new project?”
“Yeah, but nothing really heavy. Just a hotel lobby interior design. We got a week and it’s a paired task thing, that’s why you saw me with Joy earlier—”
He sees a flock of students ahead huddling by your side of the pathwalk, and because you have a tendency to not really pay that much attention to your surroundings, he takes you by the waist slightly to avoid bumping with them, causing you to stumble closer to him. 
You crane your neck to look behind you for a moment, gaze falling back up to Jungkook with widened eyes. “Sorry.” you say with a jutted lip and a little frown. 
“It’s okay.” Jungkook says with a reassuring smile. He means it. He likes being close like this and if you don’t watch your surroundings, he’ll just do it for you. He doesn’t mind. 
You grin. “Anyway… I was saying, it’s a hotel interior. But! The thing is, it’s a themed hotel, which I’m really excited about ‘cause I’m tired of designing contemporary, luxury ones. They always tend to be so redundant.” 
Jungkook nods. “I think so too. What’s the themed hotel about?” 
“Have you heard of a film called Metropolis?” He shakes his head. You nod at that. “Well, yeah, me neither. At least a week ago. Prof gave it to us as an assignment and it’s a silent film from the ‘20s. A sci-fi tale, so very futuristic – at least for that time. So that’s the theme of the hotel, right, and Joy and I immediately thought of art deco.” 
Jungkook intently listens as you go on about your initial ideas, and he doesn’t even have to worry about the terms he doesn’t understand because you always take time to explain it to him in layman’s. It’s funny, really, because ever since he’s learned that you study interior design and started to talk to him about it, he found himself taking interest in it as well. Two months ago, he couldn't have given a single care about a couple named Charles and Ray Eames and their weird chair called La Chaise, but here he is, anyway.
Maybe it’s because of the way you so passionately talk about it. Your zeal oozes out so much when it comes up as the topic of conversation, and there’s always been something about you that pulls people right in. And Jungkook’s at peace with himself now that he’s just one of those people. 
He’s willing to be pulled right in, anyway. You don’t exactly make it hard to. 
And Jungkook finds that the newfound dynamic between you two isn’t… so bad. He finds excitement at the prospect of seeing you after his classes are concluded, going to Fro-yo for a quick snack because you’re obsessed with it, and studying together at his place later in the day.
A lot of people would say he’s making up for all the times he’s ignored you. The times when he pretended to not care about you. The times when he was just unprovokedly mean and treated you the way he regrets now. And sure, it may have started that way. Ever since your Environmental Science project was finished and the term was over, Jungkook started to feel like he couldn’t go back to the life where you weren’t within his perimeter. Couldn’t imagine you both being back to – practically – regular strangers, so he just… opened up to you more.
He shares his own stories now. Tells you about his day after you do so, and invites you to Fro-yo and other cafes and restaurants around campus whenever your schedules align. 
And maybe at first it was, indeed, because he was trying to make up for his past behavior – but that may have only been what he convinced himself of for the first few weeks. When the week stretched into months and the months suddenly involved you doing sleepovers at his place whenever his roommate, Hoseok, is not around, Jungkook is starting to question himself if this is all still about simply making it up to you. 
Because frankly, he’s starting to feel like it's a little more than that.
He’s not just buying you frozen yogurt and helping you with any assignment (that requires his silly and minuscule math and science expertise) and letting you borrow and keep his hoodies and shirts whenever you sleep over because he’s trying to make up for the past – he’s doing all of these because he genuinely enjoys your company and would like to do more for you… with you… to you… and just… just more. 
He wants more with you. 
And every single day is a daunting battle for his internal mullings. 
Because he knows he’s been stupid all this time not to realize right away that he’s got romantic feelings for you. That his confusion when it comes to you didn't come from the reason that you were extremely extroverted and had way too much energy – it was that those things made him like you and his little heart and brain couldn’t comprehend any of it the way he can easily wrap his head around math equations and concepts.
But he keeps himself on the sidelines. Thinks about keeping himself there until he’s sure of what you truly think about. 
You’re always nice to him. But you’re kind of nice to everybody… so that gets him a little twisted.
On Monday, when you were supposed to hang out – when you usually sleep over at his place, you bailed on him to study with Jae, as per Taehyung's words, your mutual friend.
He just can’t tell if the way you treat him is different to the way you treat everyone else, and that’s what’s been on his mind lately. 
“Oh, Kookie,” you say as soon as Jungkook takes out his keys, going for his keyfob when you arrive at the parking area. He looks at you in question, completely ignoring the way his heart flutters a little at the nickname. He kind of hates it, thinks it's too childish when other people call him that – but with you it sounds so much like an endearment, so he doesn't protest. You press your lips into a thin line before you say, “I can’t go to Fro-yo today. Joy and I agreed to have a zoom meeting later to start conceptualizing.” 
“Oh,” Jungkook blinks. “Rain check?” 
You pout. “Yeah.” 
“You can do it at my place? Hoseok’s doing an all-nighter with his study group, so he won’t be there ‘til the morning.”
“But I didn’t bring my laptop today.”
With furrowed brows, Jungkook steps closer to you. “It’s alright. We can drive to your place, get your laptop then go to mine,” he smiles. “Sleepover?” 
Jungkook doesn’t want to toot his own horn but he may have seen your face light up at that. But it comes off easily and he begins to worry.
“I want to, but I don’t want to impose.” You say. 
Instantly, Jungkook’s forehead creases. “You won’t be imposing.” When he sees that you’re about to decline again, he lets out a, “Please?” 
At that, you stop. You stare at him for a moment. 
“Uh…” you trail off. “You sure? Are you not busy tonight?”
He shakes his head. “I’ll probably start on an assignment so we can be both busy–” you nudge his arm at that, laughing. “– but other than that, no. I’ll cook us something. Or do you want to get take-out instead?” 
“I’d really, really appreciate your black bean noodles tonight.” You muse, looking at him like he holds the stars in the sky. With you gazing up at him like that, how can he say no?
“I think we have the ingredients in the fridge. Black bean noodles it is, then.” Jungkook says before you’re muffling your own squeal in your excitement, saying your little delighted “thank you�� when Jungkook ushers you in the passenger seat after opening it for you. 
He rounds the car before he settles on his side, and when he starts the engine, he can’t help but smile slightly at the way you lean comfortably on your seat, as if you’re so used to being in his car – which you are.
And Jungkook finds he likes that. He likes you that way; being used to being around him. 
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“You’re done?” Jungkook looks up from his computer, seeing you doing some arm stretches and leaning into his gaming chair to do it on your neck as well. 
“Yep.” 
“Then come here already.” He shuts his laptop close, places it on the bedside table, and pats the space on the mattress next to him. 
It’s nearly 10pm and your zoom meeting with Joy went for nearly 4 hours. You got on it immediately after you two ate your dinner, and like clockwork, asked to borrow one of Jungkook’s shirts because your top was getting a little too uncomfortable on your body. You’ve both already showered – separately, of course – and that’s one of the many things that Jungkook smiles about when he enters his bathroom sometimes. Because the fact that you shower in his bathroom means your essentials are slowly making a space for themselves in his own place; the yellow cup holder of your toothbrush sits next to his blue one, and a bottle of your moisturizer is also in his lavatory cabinet. 
“‘M so tired” You let yourself fall on the mattress, bouncing a little on it face down, sprawling across the bed like some starfish, your other hand landing on Jungkook’s abdomen. 
“Meeting went well?” Jungkook asks, and he’s a little disappointed when you remove an arm on him, but that’s okay, because soon you’re leaning sidewards to properly look at him and it makes him smile to see you so cozy like this. Barefaced and in his shirt. 
“Yeah, we got some work done,” You say. Jungkook watches as you try to get comfortable on your side of the bed. “I think I’m sleepy now.” 
“Yeah?” He follows after you, and he doesn’t hide his huge smile when you go and turn your back to him immediately after he slides his arm under your neck, spooning you from behind. Snuggling closer to him, Jungkook wraps his other arm around your waist and lets out a contented sigh against the back of your head. “My first class is at one thirty pm tomorrow.” 
“I have one at eight am. Then the next one is at ten.” 
“Tough.” 
“I know… I wish I didn’t enlist in morning classes.” 
He chuckles, closing his eyes as he starts to feel that familiar lull of sleep dancing behind his eyes. But truth be told, he doesn’t want to give into that just yet.
“You were with Jae on Monday?” He asks, carefully treading through the subject. It’s Thursday now. It's not like Jungkook’s a jealous guy… it just kind of threw him off a little, because you didn’t tell him you were with Jae. 
“Uh… yeah?” Jungkook feels you freezing in his arms. “How’d you know?” 
“Taehyung told me.” 
“Oh.” He can practically hear the wince. “He has such a big mouth.” You say drily. 
That earns you a laugh from Jungkook. But he decides to take down the jokes for a more honest and open conversation with you tonight. 
“Why didn’t you tell me?” It’s not accusatory. It’s soft and gentle, the way he asks it, with his thumb rubbing the exposed skin of your hip due to the hem of your – his – shirt riding up. 
Your answer takes awhile. 
“I was… getting help with estimates.” 
“... Okay,” Jungkook tightens his hold around you, growing confused. “But I’m really good with estimates. I could’ve helped you.” It was easy math for him. And you never shied away from asking him for help before… why now?
“Well, he offered.” 
Jungkook’s brows crease deeper. “That’s not…" he trails off, then continues, "You know you can ask me for anything, right? Jae’s not even on the dean's list. How’d you know he’s teaching you the right stuff?”  
Silence hangs in the air before Jungkook hears your laughter. Shuffling in his arms, Jungkook loosens his hold around you to let you turn to him. When he sees your face, there's a huge grin on it.
“He’s not even on the dean’s list?” You sound intrigued.
Jungkook assumed you were curiously speaking, and so he nods, looking into your eyes seriously. “He isn’t. Look, I’m not saying–” when he notices your smile only getting wider by the second, he realizes you’re just trying to fuck with him, so Jungkook cuts himself off, letting out a sigh. “I’m sorry. I sound like an asshole.”
You scoot closer until both the front of your bodies are stuck. Jungkook tries not to think too much whether you’re wearing a bra underneath his shirt or not. 
You shake your head. “Not really. I believe you’re way smarter than him.” 
“Then why come to him and not me?” 
You stare at him for a moment, then you let out a heavy breath. “I just feel like you’re doing so many things for me nowadays. You were also really busy on Monday– don’t deny it–” you say before he opens his mouth to oppose that. He shuts his lips close, listening to you go on instead. “– and I was just being considerate. Jae offered because we saw and sat next to each other at the library, and I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to disturb you.” 
Jungkook blinks, processing your words. After a pregnant pause, he slowly nods, still dumbstruck. 
“Ah… okay. I understand.” he says, embarrassment slowly filling his system. 
You smile at him. Playfully. “Sorry for asking help from someone who’s not on the dean’s list.” Jungkook drops his expression into a poker face at that, which makes you laugh even more. You nibble on your bottom lip before you stretch your hand to his cheek and pinch it. He doesn’t bother dodging your hand. With a giggle, you say, “Sorry, sorry. That was just so funny. You’re so funny without even trying sometimes, you know?” 
“Not really.” Jungkook says and you can tell the tell-tale signs of his grumpiness starting to kick in.
What he doesn’t expect is the way you suddenly squeal and launch yourself on top of him, causing him to lie fully on his back with you sprawled all over his body, hugging him tight and burying your face in his chest. 
“You’re so cuddly and warm. Can we stay like this for awhile?” You break away from his chest and look at him from a low angle. 
Jungkook meets your gaze. 
Sure, you’ve been cuddling (platonically) all these past few months – but they never went to this length. And he’s not sure what the difference is, anyway – just that you’re much closer like this and Jungkook can feel everything. Still, that doesn’t deter him from wrapping his arms around your waist, slightly locking you in the position. Quite frankly, he doesn’t even want you to move. 
“Alright.” Is his simple answer. Not like he needed to think about it.
“I’ll sleep now, okay?” But you don’t wait for his response before you lay on his chest again with your cheek pressed on his hoodie.
Because the moment just feels right somehow, Jungkook lets his hand wander on your head. Then slowly, he lets his fingers comb through the strands of your hair, tentatively at first, lest you didn’t want him touching you or something like that – but once he hears a sound akin to a purr coming from you, he continues and finds himself getting comforted by the action as well. 
“The Jae thing really bothered you?” You ask suddenly, not breaking away from the position you’ve assumed on top of his body. But your words are slightly slurred in the haze of sleep.
Jungkook hums. “Yes.” 
“Sorry for not telling you myself.” 
“It’s okay,” Jungkook reassures you. His gaze falls to the ceiling, hand still caressing your hair. The surface is empty, and there’s not really much going on. Meanwhile, in your own bedroom, you have those glow in the dark star stickers pasted on your white ceiling. He’s never slept over there, but he thinks it would be nice to lay under your makeshift galaxy with your homely scent surrounding the two of you. “Are you not gonna ask why I was bothered?” He says after a beat. 
“I was gonna. But I think I know.” You answer, and Jungkook doesn’t expect that one bit.
He stops his ministrations on your hair, and it’s obvious that you’re about to question it when you suddenly peel your face away from his chest again. 
When you do, Jungkook meets your gaze and with a leveled tone, he asks the question he’s been mulling about for the past two months.
“__, what are we?” 
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buckymorelikefuckme · 2 months ago
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fri(end)s
bucky barnes x fem reader
words: 3.8k
warnings & tags: **18+ ONLY** friends/roommates to lovers oh my god they were roommates, smoking weed, brief mutual masturbation, frottage (i think that's the right word idfk i'm all out of practice), p in v sex, unprotected sex (don’t do that), reader has nipple piercings bc i said so, slight pain kink? mayhaps? ok pls let me know if i’ve missed anything!
a/n: i made this fic my bitch tonight. this is absolutely not proofread or beta'd, you're just gonna have to take it for what it is, sorry not sorry. anyway, it’s been too long since i wrote for this beefy man :’) i really hope you like it. this was originally very loosely inspired by a scene in what’s your number? but it quickly gained a mind of its own to become what it is now, so. there ya go. title is from the song of the same name by V of bts thank you very much. any and all mistakes are my own. feedback is greatly appreciated and heavily encouraged!!! xoxo
bucky barnes masterlist || main masterlist
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Bucky’s introduction to weed was something you’d been supremely proud of.
When the two of you became roommates, you both had been kind of quiet and kept to yourselves at first, which isn’t too unusual, but you noticed that Bucky almost always had a frown etched into his handsome face. A frown that only ever softened after a night out with his friends and, you assumed, a decent hook-up. It never took long for that frown to reappear, though.
You didn’t know what could have been so stressful for him, but you knew he needed a way to relax, and not just for himself, either. The sight of him glumly moving around the apartment—honestly, you’ve never seen someone make fixing a bowl of cereal look so fucking sad—was beginning to weigh on your own nerves.
So, naturally, you thought of asking him if he’s ever tried weed. Somehow, his frown had deepened at that question. He said no, shocking absolutely no one, and then you asked if he wanted to try it. Admittedly, he was a little hesitant at first, but he eventually agreed.
The way his body, all two hundred and whatever pounds of muscle and angst, sank into the recliner like a ragdoll when the high really hit him made you grin. Though, to be fair, you were already smiling, what with you also being high. It was the first time you saw a real, genuine smile from Bucky, and you were immensely pleased to have given him a way to decompress from whatever kept him so tense all the time.
It became a sort of thing for you two. Saturday nights were for getting high, binge-watching Love Island (UK, because you both have class, thank you very much) and raiding the pantry for all the good snacks when the munchies hit. You’d never tell anyone, but those nights quickly became something you looked forward to every week, something you could cling to when your own life got a little difficult. Who knew smoking weed—and on a few special occasions, doing edibles—with your roommate would make a friendship blossom so prettily?
***
After how late Bucky got in last night, you knew he’d be sleeping in and would more than likely have a hangover. So, for this particular Saturday morning, you get up and quietly start gathering your laundry while Bucky snores loudly into his pillow from his bedroom. You were getting behind on it anyway, down to your last pair of clean shorts.
Before you put them on, though, you purse your lips in thought, staring at your pile of dirty clothes. You didn’t want to put on clean shorts with the panties and shirt you slept in last night. It would be smarter to wash them with the rest of your clothes, right? But that would leave you topless, which, you wouldn’t exactly be opposed to it, but you’re not sure Bucky would appreciate waking up to you walking around with your tits out. Or maybe he would? Whatever, it doesn’t matter.
You shake your head to clear your thoughts and then remember that Bucky did his laundry yesterday, and knowing him, he probably left at least some of his clean clothes in the dryer. Surely he wouldn’t mind you borrowing a shirt.
With that plan in mind, you dump your clothes into your laundry basket and make your way down the hall to the doors where your washing and drying units are (a major selling point of the apartment, if you’re honest). Just like you thought, Bucky’s left a load in the dryer, and even some of his button-downs are hung up on the drying rack. You quickly pull your t-shirt off, shivering against the cool air, and reach for one of the hangers, slipping his shirt off of it and onto yourself. For a dress shirt, it’s actually quite comfortable, obviously one of the shirts he wears more often with how soft and a little worn the fabric is. You shimmy your panties down your legs and add them to your pile, grabbing your clean shorts and tugging them on, too.
You make quick work of starting your first load of clothes, closing the doors to muffle the sound of the washer, and head back to your room to do your morning routine. By the time you’re done and have also cooked yourself breakfast, Bucky is staggering down the hall and into the kitchen, hair a tangled nest atop his head and eyes bleary.
“Good morning, sunshine,” you greet with a teasing smile.
He flips you off and beelines for the coffee machine, pouring himself a cup and not speaking a word until he’s downed at least half of it. Part of you is concerned for his esophagus, but you’ve long since come to the conclusion that Bucky’s probably got a thing for pain—both physically and emotionally.
“Remind me to tell Sam he isn’t allowed to bring Natasha on our nights out anymore,” he grumbles, voice rough from both sleep and a long night of drinking. “I’ve never taken so many shots of vodka in my life.”
You hum. “Sounds like my kind of woman, actually.” He cuts his eyes at you, silently judging while taking another sip of his coffee. “Want me to fry up some bacon and eggs for you?” You almost laugh at the way his expression immediately switches to pleading.
The rest of the morning is spent finishing your laundry and putting it all away, even gathering up Bucky’s clothes that he’d left and dumping them on his bed. You’ll leave the folding to him, though; your generosity only extends so far, after all.
Lunch rolls around and you both decide to order takeout from the burger place down the street, Bucky shushing you when you keep insistently whispering for him to order extra truffle fries (which he does order, after you’ve sworn pain of death if he doesn’t) and once it arrives, the two of you settle around the coffee table in the living room, putting on a random movie to watch while you eat.
And of course, when the sun begins to lower on the horizon, you start pulling out your stash and getting everything ready. Bucky’s already got the windows open in the living room to let the smell air out as you smoke, and he also has Love Island queued up and ready to go.
While you smoke the first joint, you make the conscious decision to bake a small batch of brownies for later. Bucky sits on the counter beside you, passing the joint back and forth as he quietly watches you work. Wordlessly, you hand over the bowl and spoon to him after you’ve poured the batter into the awaiting pan. No matter how many times you’ve tried to warn him about salmonella he always insists on licking them clean.
Sometimes, in these moments, you forget how surly he used to be with you. Not that he was ever rude or anything, but he never would have pouted about not being able to eat raw brownie batter before you helped him break down some of those walls of his.
***
“He’s such a dick,” Bucky mumbles a while later, face impassive and tone bland as he refers to one of the islanders of the show, slouching so deeply into the couch he’s practically become one with it.
The high from the first joint is finally kicking in fully, doing its job of releasing every ounce of tension from your bodies. It’s also making your mouth dry and tummy rumble for snacks. Thank god you made those brownies and Bucky unearthed some candy from past movie nights and lots of chips out of the pantry cabinets.
You hum at his comment. “Most men are.”
Bucky turns his head in your direction with an affronted expression that has you snickering. He goes to reply, giving you the sassiest once-over you’ve ever seen, but his eyes doubletake on your torso and he pauses. He stares for a moment.
“That’s my shirt,” he states.
You look down at the shirt in question, of which you’ve worn all day long and somehow he’s only just now noticing.
“Wow, you’re like Sherlock Holmes or something,” you drawl.
Bucky stares some more, and then, “Why are you wearing my shirt?”
“Because I had laundry to do and I needed something to wear while all my stuff was washing,” you say in a “duh” tone.
“But…” He frowns. “It’s my favorite.”
You snort inelegantly. “Bucky, you literally have, like, at least four other white dress shirts.”
“So? What, I can’t have a favorite one just because I have more of the same color?”
“Christ,” you say on an exasperated exhale. “I’ll give it back before bed, okay? I don’t wanna move right now. I’m scared I’ll bump into stuff again.”
Bucky huffs a laugh at that, which turns into a full-blown giggle fit that is contagious. Soon after your shared laughter dies down, the conversation moves back to the illicit love triangles among the islanders. You trash talk the couple that Bucky likes, just to see him get riled up and rant about how they’re the most real couple of the season and everyone else is just jealous. He gets red in the face and pouty when you remind him that this is a heavily produced show about pretty people getting a chance to get famous for being pretty people by hooking up with each other and playing stupid games that mean nothing in the grand scheme of it all. Really, it’s quite cute.
To placate him, though, you get a second joint rolled and let him take the first hit.
***
Turns out this second one hits you rather harder than normal. It feels like your head is a balloon and your neck is the string tethering it to the rest of your body. Everything feels much more sluggish compared to all the other times you’ve gotten high with Bucky. Somewhere in the depths of your hazy brain you remember that you’d gotten a different brand this time around; perhaps that’s why.
On the tv, the islanders are getting ready for bed, and once the lights go out in their room, some of the couples engage in some serious heavy petting, lifting their comforters for a semblance of privacy. The sounds start next, sighs and low moans, and it all begins to settle into your subconscious. Between one lazy blink and the next, you realize you’re… actually kind of horny. It’s not enough for you to really pay attention to it, not at first, just a little sprinkle of it, a tiny twist in your core that briefly has you pressing your thighs together then relaxing again.
But then the arousal builds up inside you so slowly and easily that you don’t even realize your hand has apparently grown a mind of its own and found its way down your shorts. You inhale sharply at the touch of your fingers against your clit, lashes fluttering as the sensation registers. The sound gains Bucky’s attention from where he's been lounging on the opposite end of the couch with his head tipped back and eyes closed.
They’re not closed anymore. Out of your peripheral, you see his head shift in your direction, feeling the weight of his stare like a physical thing. Your mind is both connected and disconnected from your actions, half-aware that this is probably not the smartest thing to be doing, that you’re absolutely crossing a major boundary. Touching yourself in this way in front of your roommate, your friend, is so not normal.
Yet, for some idiotic reason, you leave your hand down your shorts, continuing to lightly pet at your clit, neediness rising steadily. Even though you know he’s watching—and suspiciously quiet—you can’t help but let your fingers slither down to where you’re beginning to drip to gather some of your slick and bring it back to your clit and swirling your fingers at a sedate pace, sighing as your nipples tighten underneath your shirt.
Bucky is as still as a statue, gaze honed in on the movement of your hand, on how your thighs ease open more and more the longer you play with your pussy.
It takes very little time for your eyes to wander over to the man just a couple feet away, and to then notice and fixate on the growing bulge in Bucky’s sweatpants. The weight of his stare is almost a physical thing and you swallow roughly as you think about what he might look like, if he’s at all how you’ve secretly imagined when you’re alone in your bedroom, in much the same position as you are in now.
His hands creep towards his thighs and smooth down the expanse of them and back up, slowly, over and over, like he’s teasing himself. Like he’s teasing you. Your fingers don’t stop as you lift your other hand to tweak and pinch at your nipples through well-worn cotton, a tiny noise slipping past your dry lips.
Bucky pulls the hem of his shirt up, exposing part of his toned stomach and only hesitates for a split second before he lowers the waistband of his pants, pulling his cock out and matching the pace of his strokes with the pace of your fingers. The head of his cock is pink and precum makes it shine under the low light of the lamps in the living room.
You bite your lip as your arousal increases from the sight alone, and you decide to follow his lead, just a bit. You whine from the loss of stimulation when you remove your hand to shimmy your shorts down and off your legs, letting them fall to the floor carelessly. And now, Bucky has an unrestrained view of your glistening cunt as you sink two of your fingers inside yourself and use your other fingers to rub all around your clit. It has you gasping, eyelids threatening to close through the pleasure that sparkles throughout every vein in your body.
It’s good. Amazing, even. And it’s only making you want more. Bucky, it seems, feels much the same.
“C’mere,” he rasps, tone leaving no room for arguing, never mind that you wouldn’t have argued anyway.
You sit up on the couch, knee-walking over to where he’s still in his slumped position, never pulling your hand away from your clit because it feels like you’d cry if you did. Bucky curses under his breath and lets go of his cock to firmly grab you by the hips and tug you onto his lap. Your pussy ends up aligned perfectly with his cock, and you both shudder as you begin gliding back and forth across it, small movements that only increase the suspense of what likely comes next. He meets your eyes, red and glazed over from both the high and the toe-curling feeling of his cock along your wet center.
The kiss, when it happens, tastes like weed and the peanut M&M’s you both were snacking on just a little while ago. Bucky's tongue licks into your mouth like he can’t get enough, nips at your bottom lip to hear you whimper, gets a fistful of your hair and pulls and guides you until you’re pliant for him.
He knocks your hand away from your clit, but before you can complain about it he’s nudging the head of his cock against your entrance and you’re gasping all over again, grinding sloppily as you try to get him inside you. He finally sinks the head in and you allow gravity to aid you in taking the rest of him, moaning brokenly and high pitched at the stretch of him inside you. Bucky groans deep in his chest, hands clutching your waist like a lifeline as you slowly circle your hips, getting used to the feeling.
You stay like that for a few minutes, your breath and Bucky’s mixing hotly between you, and then you finally start fucking yourself on his cock. He grunts when you clench around him on the downstroke. You decide you like the sound, and you really wanna hear it again, so you repeat the action, moaning when the grunt is accompanied by a curse and his fingernails biting into your skin.
It takes what feels like ages for you to realize your thighs and knees ache from riding him, the weed making everything feel like it’s floating, including yourself, but Bucky sees the furrow in your brows and the shaking strain of your legs, and in the next second, he’s got you both moved from the couch to the floor. Time ticks on glacially slow like molasses as you stare up at him whipping his shirt off from where you’re sprawled on the carpet, your limbs shifting lethargically when he spreads your legs to better fit himself between them.
He fucks you hard, but not fast. you’re both much too high for anything fast, yet it still feels like your heart is going to pulse out of your chest, rabbiting away like you’ve run a marathon. Bucky buries his face in your neck, mouthing at your skin while he thrusts almost lazily.
Suddenly, his large hands encapsulate your hips, fingers pressing into the fleshiest parts of them as he sits up, getting his knees under him so he can rest on his haunches. He keeps your ass in his lap and your legs spread on either side of his waist. It makes your back arch and hips tilt up into a position that has you shuddering and sobbing when he begins to grind his thick cock deeper into you.
“I could stay buried in you for hours,” he mutters.
He reaches for the throw pillows on the couch and puts them under your hips, and then he fucks into you so hard it steals the breath right from your lungs, your mouth hanging open on a silent cry. His thrusts are sharper now, angled to perfection and making your toes curl so hard you fear them cramping and body jolt when he glides all the way back in. You gasp when Bucky rips open your shirt (his shirt, your mind helpfully supplies) and sends the buttons scattering across the floor. Those will be a bitch to find and clean up, but that’s a problem for much later.
“Fuck,” he grunts when he sees the piercings glinting in your nipples. “I fucking knew it,” he continues, squeezing each of your breasts in his hands and pinching your nipples between his thumbs and forefingers, making you gasp again, pushing up into the sensation.
“Knew—“ You cut off with a whine when he pinches harder. “Knew what?”
“You walk around here wearing those goddamn cropped tank tops as tight as possible with no bra. Thought I was going crazy when I saw what looked like piercings underneath them,” he confesses as his hands travel back down to grip your waist, never losing his rhythm while he pulls you down to meet his thrusts.
At the sight of your tits bouncing with the movement of his hips, he groans, gravelly, his top lip curling as he grits his teeth and squeezes your hips so hard it hurts, and it only adds to your pleasure. With the way your skin is tingling, your pussy fluttering around him nonstop, you’re not sure if it’s because Bucky is fucking you that well or if it’s the weed. It’s probably both, and you have a split second thought that you’ll just have to test that theory once the high wears off.
It’s almost ironic, you think, how wet and messy your cunt is compared to how dry your mouth feels. It probably doesn’t help that your jaw seems to be permanently slack as you’re unable to stop your gasping inhales, only to exhale sounds you might be embarrassed about if you were clear-headed. Alas, your mind is a lot more focused on the way Bucky is splitting you open and carving a space inside you all for himself.
“So much better,” you whisper absently, fingers clawing at the carpet beneath you.
“Better than what?” he wonders, shifting to grip under your knees and push them up, changing the angle.
You cry out sharply, writhing uselessly in his hold. “My imagination,” you whimper.
Through bleary, tear filled eyes, you glance up at him just in time to see his lips pull into a boyish smirk.
“Mine too,” he confesses and sends you reeling.
You whine and reach down quickly to rub your throbbing clit, your whole body jerking as your pleasure mounts higher and higher. Bucky moans as he watches, stare trained on where you’re joined. His speed does pick up then, the slightest bit, a shudder wracking his frame as you clench down on him, head tipping back and exposing the long expanse of his throat for a brief moment before he suddenly leans over you, letting your legs fall into the cradle of his elbows.
“Won’t you be good for me and cum?” he asks, breathless, hips never letting up.
You open your mouth to reply but all that comes out is a strangled cry of his name, your fingers keeping their pace as your climax swells until it overflows, bursting like a firework and pleasure like you’ve never felt before sparks through every vein, muscle, and bone within you. Bucky curses in such a way it would make a sailor blush as you pulse around him. The sounds of your orgasm and his thrusts meeting your hips are the filthiest things you’ve ever heard, and it doesn’t stop for several moments, dragging on and on. It leaves you trembling and shaking and trying futilely to gather air in your lungs as he refuses to let up.
With great resolve, you bring your wet fingers away from your sensitive clit and up to his panting mouth. He groans at your taste, licking and sucking on your fingers as he chases his own release.
“Please,” you whisper, tears finally escaping your lashes and trailing down the sides of your face, and that seems to be his undoing.
Bucky moans, something high and broken, fucking into you rough enough that you’re worried about carpet burn. But then he pauses, gasping as he finally lets go and rides out his high.
Your hand slips from his mouth and falls to the floor like a deadweight. The only noise in the room now is the both your and Bucky’s harsh breathing and the television still playing that stupid fucking show. Bucky doesn’t move right away, of which you’re very thankful, because you’re not ready to feel the emptiness you know is coming, and it feels nice in a weird way to have him buried in you.
“Fuck,” he exhales, breaking the relative silence.
It makes you giggle, a small thing that turns into something uncontrollable, and when you manage to look at Bucky, he’s grinning in a dopey way that sets you off even more.
This is definitely something the two of you will have to talk about when you’re both sober, but like the buttons, that can be handled later. Although, something tells you it’ll all turn out just fine.
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piedinthepiper · 1 year ago
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You owe me ☆
Mafia!Jungkook x psychologist!reader
Summary: It’s your job to help people, but is he really suffering? At least it’s a case of the crazy and obsessive syndrome.
Warnings: yandere!Jungkook, dub con, guilt tripping, description of murder and crime, mention of stalking, cursing, weapons (one singular gun), mention of male masturbation, descriptive smut, probably wrong use of psychological terms (oopsie)
Wc: 6.9k
A/n: This is my first post on my bts fic blog! If you like it please show your support! Don’t be a silent reader! My requests are open, share your ideas!
Disclaimer: This is 100% fiction. I am in no way saying that this is how any member of bts would act. Nor do I condone the actions detailed in the story. This is purely for entertainment purposes only. If any of the warnings trigger you, or you’re under 18 ¡do not read! I’m not your mother, and I don’t take any accountability for what you decide to read online!
Another disclaimer: I am not a licensed psychologist! Everything related to psychology in this fic is off Google, do not use this to diagnose yourself or anyone else!
Parts: | 1 | 2 |
He clutched the gun close to his chest. Hiding it under his pyjamas. His fathers words ringing in the back of his mind. “Your brother is too soft for this industry, but you son, you’re my perfect descendant.”
He walked into his family’s suite. It was dark, except for one light in the living room. His mother sat there head propped up on her hand reading a book.
“What are you doing up so late, baby?”
She asked, putting the book down in her lap and taking off her reading glasses. He looked over at the white sofa placed next to the large windows. His brother was sleeping there peacefully. Not aware of his presence.
“I let your brother sleep in the living room tonight. His nightmares have returned.”
She continued when he didn’t answer her. He slowly turned his eyes towards his mother again.
“Weak.”
He answered lowly. Her look turned concerned.
“Is something wrong, baby?
His eyes continued to stare at her. He didn’t move a muscle, not yet.
“You know I don’t like it when you look at me like that.”
She continued when he yet again didn’t answer. There was a sturdiness to her voice now. The kind of sturdiness mothers have before scolding you. He started smiling. Not in a sweet innocent way. Not in the way 11 year olds should. But in a sinister and dark way. His hand moved out of his pyjamas top. She looked at the object in his hand.
“Drop that gun right now, Jungkook!”
A scream. Three shots. And silence.
15 years later
“Your patient is here.”
Your assistant, Erin, said through the slightly ajar door to your office. You looked up from your lunch. Quickly glancing over at the stationary computer to check the time.
“I don’t have an appointment. Not in another thirty minutes.”
Erin looked back to the waiting room before slowly stepping inside the office. Closing the door quietly behind her. She walked closer to you.
“He’s been sitting here for an hour already. I told him his appointment wasn’t until 1 pm. He just said ‘I know’ and sat down.”
She hurriedly whispered afraid of whoever was sitting out there.
“Please, Erin. Don’t act like he’s crazy. Send him in, I’ll eat later.”
She gave you a look before holding up two fingers. The signal that the two of you created. Working as a psychologist you meet with all sorts of people. Even criminals. The signal signalised that she would call the police if you hit the button that called directly to the front desk.
“Stop it, there will be no need to call the police. He’s harmless.”
“If you say so.”
She shrugged and walked out the door. The next time it opened a familiar figure entered.
“Good afternoon, Doctor.”
“You’re early Mr. Jeon.”
You had been treating Jungkook Jeon for a little over a month now. And you had come to the conclusion that he had PTSD, post-traumatic stress disorder. After he had witnessed a series of murders and crimes during his childhood. He was vague about the past, but a few things came out here and there. You only knew about his absent father and that his brother and mother had both been killed. No description of how or when. Which is common at first. It’s hard to re-live your trauma.
“I’m sorry I disturbed your lunch. Just eat, I don’t mind.”
He said as he sat down in the white sofa across your desk. You gave him a small smile as you reached into your drawer.
“Don’t worry about me, I’ll eat after our session.”
You said as you fished his file up and opened it on you desk. You quickly read your notes from the last session as you continued talking.
“How are you doing? Still having nightmares?”
You looked up from the file maintaining eye contact as he answered your question.
“Sometimes, but not as often as before. I dream of you instead now.”
His eyes never left yours as he bit his lip, playing with his piercing he had there. You nodded.
“How often do you dream about me? And what are the dreams about?”
You asked as you scribbled it down in your notes.
“Every now and then they occur. Especially after our sessions. Or after I read your books. You’re a good writer Dr. y/l/n.”
He started smiling. His smile wasn’t sweet, it was different from how he had smiled at you before.
“As for what they’re about, I don’t think you’d want to know, Doctor.”
You tried concealing your confusion at his last statement. Curiosity taking over you.
“Dreaming about people you frequently surround yourself with is not uncommon. If you don’t like to talk about it we don’t have to. I would just like to know if they’re good or bad dreams.”
He nodded, still not breaking his smile nor the eye contact.
“Oh they’re good, Doctor. Don’t worry.”
You smiled back at him.
“That’s good to know. I’m glad to hear your nightmares are slowly being changed with good dreams.”
It went silent for a moment as you wrote down the good news. When you looked up again he wasn’t looking at you anymore, and for some reason you felt relived. His eyes were big and doe like, and when they focused on you for too long you would sometimes feel uneasy. You wondered so what those eyes had experiences in the past.
“What about your sudden outbreaks, are you able to control your anger better?”
He focused on you again the second he heard your voice. His smile returned.
“Sort of, I’ve been letting out the aggression in the gym, after you adviced me to try to stay active. I’ve started boxing.”
You smiled and nodded, writing down boxing in your notes.
“That’s good to hear. It seems that you’re getting better Mr. Jeon, much b-“
“Jungkook, call me Jungkook.”
He interrupted. You stopped and looked at him for a second.
“And no, I’m not cured. I still need you.”
You slowly nodded.
“Well there is no cure for your diagnosis, it’s a matter of being at peace with living with it. But I can understand that you still have things you would want to talk about. Maybe you would like to open up to me about your past?”
The room grew quiet. His eyes now focused on his hands in his lap. His demeanour changed completely.
“I have told you about my past. If I didn’t you wouldn’t have been able to diagnose me in the first place.”
He answered with a bit of underlaying annoyance. You sighed. Something felt off, but you couldn’t figure out what.
“You have told me some parts yes. If you want to go more in detail you can, I’m not forcing you. As your psychologist I would advise talking about it with me. It could be nice to have an outsiders perspective.”
You said in a soft tone. Trying to get your point across at the same time as being gentle. You didn’t want him to feel pressured or as if he had to say anything. When he didn’t open his mouth you understood you crossed his personal line of what he feels fit for you to know. You spoke after almost a minute with silence.
“It’s fine. You don’t have to. You can think about-“
“You’re a smart one.”
He interrupted you again. His eyes raised to meet yours.
“That’s why I like you. You know to some extent what is going on inside my head. I could never do that. I never know what is going on inside your head. If you think I’m weak or even crazy.”
“I don’t think you’re crazy nor weak. It’s not your job to know what is going on inside my head. But it is my job to know what’s going on inside yours.”
He nodded before patting the sofa seat beside him.
“Come here.”
He simply said. You don’t know why, but you had a bad feeling in your stomach. He was acting differently today, compared to other sessions. Either way you got up from your chair, knowing that doing what he said would get you an insight of what you wanted to know. You slowly walked around your desk and sat down in the small sofa next to him. You crossed your legs trying your best not to get too close to him, but he seemed to man spread even more. Making your thighs touch. You placed your notebook in your lap, ready to write down exactly what he told you. He took a hold of your wrist.
“You’re not writing this down, Doctor. I need your full attention.”
It was the first time he had touched you, beside the first time you met when you shook hands. It made you think that you usually never have any sort of physical contact with your patients. Maybe that’s exactly what they need. What he needs to open up to you. You put your notebook down, and continued holding his hand. He looked down at your hands intertwining. Your smooth small hand was a sharp contrast to his bigger tattooed one.
“Tell me whatever you feel comfortable with telling me.”
You said to get his attention back to reality. He went quiet for a few seconds.
“I grew up in a hotel. It was a nice hotel, four stars, good breakfast. My father was almost never home, I didn’t mind though. I had my mother and my brother there. It was perfect in the beginning.”
He stopped. You looked down at his hand, it was shaking. You started drawing small circles at the back of his hand. Trying to calm him down. He looked down at your hands again.
“One night when I was sleeping I was woken up by a loud bang. The door to our home was broken down. A man entered and started shooting. My brother was still sleeping on the sofa and died instantly. My mother reached her gun and shot the man in the shoulder.”
He looked into your eyes.
“But he shot her in the head.”
You nodded, looking down at the floor. You knew he was looking at you, but you couldn’t meet his eyes in that moment.
“Did you find out who that man was? Why he would do such a thing.”
He went quiet again at your question. His grip on your hand tightened, as if what he was going to say would make you pull away.
“He was a mobster. Like my father. After the incident he trained me as the next leader of his group. I was 11.”
You looked at him. His childhood was worse than you thought, but he wasn’t saying all this as if it was a traumatic experience. It seemed like he was bragging about it. You would have to go through your notes and his file after work to see if there was something you were missing about him. You couldn’t jump to conclusions just yet.
“Thank you for telling me.”
You smiled at him. He looked back at you with those big eyes. You looked at the watch on your wrist. The session was over.
“Look at the time.”
You were about to let go of his hand to get up from the sofa. But he grabbed you harder. Forcing you to sit still.
“I’m sorry, Mr. Jeon. But our session is over-“
“I’ve told you to call me Jungkook.”
“Jungkook, I have other patients today as well. We can continue this next week.”
You tried to assure him. He still didn’t let go.
“I’ve never told anyone about this, and you decide to end the session this quickly?”
You grabbed his hand with your other hand as well.
“You know I usually don’t end sessions like this. But I can’t let my other patients wait. You’re free to sit in the waiting room for as long as you want to.”
He frowned at your comment, but relaxed his hand nonetheless. You got off the sofa and walked to your desk again. Before you could say anything else he got up from the sofa and hastily walked out the door. Slamming it shut behind him.
You had two more patients that day. You waved goodbye to your last patient of the day, a young girl named Olive Thomson who was suffering from severe anxiety, as she walked through the door. You got up from your chair and collected your things. You turned off the computer and the light. You made sure to lock the door as you always do. The only thing you had to do now was say goodbye to Erin by the front desk, and you could go home. You walked into the waiting room.
“Finally.”
You turned to find the owner of the voice, as it was clearly not Erin’s.
“Mr. Jeon what are you doing here?”
You asked as you looked at the man seated in one of the waiting chairs.
“I told him he had to leave, I promise.”
You heard Erin whisper behind you.
“You said I could sit here for as long as I wanted to, Doctor. And please, just call me Jungkook.”
He was clearly upset. You remembered your words from earlier, but you didn’t think he would spend almost four hours just sitting there.
“I did, you’re right. I’m leaving now, Erin will be here for another two hours. But after that we’re closed.”
He got up from the chair.
“I was waiting for you.”
He simply said.
“I’m sorry our session ended so brutally, but I promise we’ll talk about it next week.”
You said and patted his shoulder as you walked past him towards the exit.
“Goodbye, Erin!”
You said as you made your way outside. The wind was cold and you clutched your coat closer to you as you walked towards your car.
“The least you can do is eat with me.”
He had followed you outside. You turned to look at him.
“I’m not that hungry, I just want to go home.”
You was going to open your car door, but his hand suddenly blocked the door. You were about to cuss him out. Tired of his antics.
“You haven’t eaten all day, I hardly doubt that one bite you had for lunch filled you up.”
He sounded threatening, something he had started to do recently.
“I just want to hear your thoughts on what I said. Don’t you think you owe me that? Or do I have to wait a week and dread finding out your opinion of me?”
He was desperate, you could see it. What he was saying was true. He would walk around overthinking for the next week and his health could worsen. You had to take action according to your diagnosis.
“Ok, I’ll eat with you.”
The two of you were sitting at some restaurant. The lights were low and to everyone around you, the two of you looked like a couple on a date. This was obviously not something you would do with your patients, you like to keep things professional. Something about this whole situation felt anything but professional.
“Get whatever you want, my treat.”
He said deeply focused on the menu. You shook your head.
“No thank you, I can pay for my own food.”
You answered.
“I’m the one responsible for you not being able to eat your lunch right? You owe me this meeting and I owe you food. Two birds with one stone.”
You sighed when you didn’t have a rebuttal. The two of you ordered, and the silence grew more and more awkward.
“I’m sorry again, Mr. Jeon I’m-“
“Jungkook. Please y/n! Just call me Jungkook!”
He was clearly upset now. You were a bit taken aback from the sudden use of your first name. He had never called you by your first name before. And the feeling of the professionalism fading away became more apparent.
“I’m sorry. I’ll try to remember your request.”
“Say it. Say my name.”
For some reason you didn’t feel like you had it in you. It felt so strange to call a patient by their name, the same way it felt weird to be called your name by a patient.
“Jungkook.”
You managed to get it out, but you couldn’t look him in the eye saying it. The food luckily came quickly, you were starving. Plus it saved you from whatever he was going to answer. You decided to take the lead. Wanting to stay on track for the actual reason you said yes to join him.
“You said your father was a mobster. Do you know if he’s still living that lifestyle? Do you have any contact with him?”
You asked after taking a big bite of your pasta. Jungkook swallowed before answering your question.
“My father is dead. He’s been dead for 7 years now.”
A question came to mind, but you didn’t know if you dared ask him. You remember he said his father trained him to the life of crime at a young age. For him to take over his fathers legacy. With his father gone he would be next in line to whatever group his father had built. He got the image. Tattoos, piercings, the black clothes. But you couldn’t imagine him being a mafia boss. Maybe it was some sort of stereotype that strong, tough men don’t go to the psychologist. But you were starting to rethink his intentions.
“You’re thinking about something.”
You looked up from your food. He was staring at you.
“Look at you, you do have the ability to understand my mind.”
You said lightheartedly. He chuckled.
“I think you’re brave. Not many people survive the kind of neglect and trauma you’ve experienced in your childhood.”
You said, trying to give him an answer for his entire life story. He nodded and suddenly reached for your hand across the table. You jumped, but didn’t remove your hand. You didn’t want to make a scene with this many people around.
“I’m fine, y/n. I think the only cure I need is you.”
His statement combined with his eyes staring into your soul, gave you chills down your back. Something was off about him. You had to ask. You just had to.
“When your father died, did you…?”
He smiled. The same sinister smile he smiled at you earlier that day.
“I did. I took over his legacy. Me and my father were actually great friends the years before he died. Not that I cared for him. I don’t think I’ve ever cared for anyone in my entire life.”
Another shot of chills froze your body at his statement. You had overlooked it this entire time. His calm demeanour, his tendency to physically violence, his intelligence and charisma and now his lack of empathy. He didn’t suffer from PTSD, he had been lying this entire time.
“At least not until I met you.”
He interrupted your thoughts. You pulled your hand out of his quickly. You took a deep breath trying to compose yourself.
“That’s nonsense. You must’ve cared for your mother.”
He shrugged.
“Not really, she wasn’t exactly the best mother.”
“You don’t really have those nightmares do you?”
You asked, looking at him. It took him a few seconds to answer. Probably contemplating if he should continue his lies or tell the truth.
“I don’t.”
“You didn’t really have a problem with your mother or brother dying either right?”
He let out a small laugh.
“I just told you.”
“Just answer me.”
He poked his tongue into his cheek and leaned forward onto the table.
“What is this? Are you trying to diagnose me, Doctor?”
He said mockingly.
“Answer me.”
You commanded. He sighed and started smiling at you again.
“Everyone has to die at some point. Doesn’t matter when or how.”
You nodded. Your instinct was true.
“You don’t have PTSD, you have ASPD.”
He licked his lips and cocked his head.
“And what does that mean, Doctor?”
“You’re a sociopath.”
He looked taken aback from your bluntness for a second. He probably wasn’t expecting you to crack his code.
“You’ve lied this entire time for your own personal gain. I must admit your acting was really good. But my question is, what do you want?”
He was quiet for a second. You knew he was fighting a war on the inside.
“I really underestimated you y/n. I knew you were smart, but personally I don’t think PhDs make a person smart by default. You’ve really proven yourself to me.”
“My efforts were not made to impress you. You think too highly of yourself Mr. Jeon.”
His gaze switched, you had aggravated him. Not only by calling him by his last name, but by attacking his self image.
“Why don’t you come home with me, we can continue our conversation there.”
You shook your head, and arranged the cutlery neatly by the side of your half empty plate.
“I do not go home with patients, and I definitely do not go home with mobsters. You have already challenged my professionalism by taking me out to eat.”
He smirked.
“What if I stop being your patient? In all honesty I don’t really need your advice, Doctor.”
You grabbed your bag and got up from your seat.
“In all honesty I think you do. We will continue this conversation in my office next week. Good night Mr. Jeon.”
With that you walked away from the table. Not looking back.
The next few days you were on edge. Constantly overthinking everything that had happened that day with Jungkook. You almost wanted to call in sick. Terrified of what would happen next. But regardless of that you had to continue working. You couldn’t let your other patients get affected by whatever was going on with you. You said goodbye to Mrs. Humphrey. An elderly woman that had fallen into depression after her husband had passed. Once the door closed you fetched your lunch out of your bag. You didn’t feel like eating, but you knew you had to. If not your energy would be drained at the end of the day. After the first bite you started hearing noises outside. Erin was almost yelling outside your door. You stood up, wanting to investigate what the commotion was. Before you could take one step the door swung open. And there he stood, your nightmare for the last couple of days.
“I told him you were busy, Dr. y/l/n! I told him he couldn’t enter!”
Erin said hopelessly behind him. He was soaking wet from the rain. His hair plastered itself to his forehead. And his black shirt did the same to his abdomen. He didn’t move, he was just staring at you with a furious look in his eyes.
“It’s fine, Erin. I’ll handle this.”
Erin looked at Jungkook worriedly before looking back to you. She held up two fingers. You nodded, and she left.
“Sit.”
You said, as you yourself sat down behind your desk. He closed the door behind him, but didn’t sit down. He continued to lure near the door.
“You interrupt my lunch again, I don’t want this to become a habit.”
“Please, spear me the bullshit.”
He said, and you went quiet. Wanting him to say whatever he came here for.
“How did you do it?”
He said after some time. You looked confused at him. Not understanding what he was referring to.
“Did what?”
You asked in almost a sharp tone. You were annoyed. He let out a small laugh, it almost sounded like a sneer.
“You’re cute when you’re angry with me.”
He started slowly walking towards you.
“But I need to know how you did it, y/n.”
He stopped once he reached the end of your desk. You looked up at him.
“What did I do?”
You ask again. He puts his palms on the table and lean closer to you. You don’t move, trying to prove to him and yourself that you’re not scared.
“You figured out a side of me I never understood I had. If I, the person that’s bearing this disease didn’t know. How come you knew?”
You leaned back in your seat and crossed your arms. He was clearly distressed. Maybe even more than what you had been for the last days. And for some reason it pleased you.
“I told you, this is what I do. This is my job.”
You could tell he was conflicted in what to do next. You could practically see the way the wheels were turning inside his head. But eventually he sat down.
“I studied the human mind for six years to be able to understand things not even you are aware of.”
He scowled at you as you talked to him in a harsh tone.
“I’ve done research, and I’ve written books about this, that you have read may I add. What made you think that I wasn’t capable?”
He didn’t answer. The two of you just stared at each other.
“This is not a session, I demand answers, Jungkook.”
His eyes lit up when he heard his name fall off your tongue.
“Like I said, I underestimated you.”
He answered short.
“You didn’t answer my other question.”
You stated. He looked confused at you.
“The question from the other night. What do you want?”
He started laughing. You did not find it funny, and watched him as his fit of laughter died down.
“Y/n, you can’t be serious! You’re telling me that you were able to diagnose me with some bullshit, while I was pretending to be something else. But you’re not able to see the fact that I want you.”
The room got quiet. For the first time in a long time you felt completely speechless. He moved to get up from the sofa, but stopped the second he saw you roll your chair further away from him. He could tell you were afraid now, there was no point in acting tough.
“Come here.”
He said with a smirk and patted his thigh this time. There was still fight in you though.
“You’re disgusting.”
You uttered. He sneered at your comment.
“You’ve exploited me for your own satisfaction this entire time.”
You looked strictly at him, as he sighed.
“What was I supposed to do? You’re constantly on my mind. Day and night. And it’s awful!”
“That’s called an obsession.”
“I know what it’s called!”
He bit back. You went quiet, waiting for him to give you more information.
“The only way I can get a break is after i come to the thought of you. It usually takes around three times until I’m too tired to think of you.”
You couldn’t hide your disgust from your facial expression anymore. Looking at him as if he was a rat on the street.
“And then I thought if that helps, the real deal would help even more.”
He got up from the sofa now. You stayed seated, your hand slowly moving across your desk towards the telephone.
“I need you, y/n.”
You broke eye contact and looked down to hit the right number for the front desk. Jungkook quickly understood what happened and pushed the stationary phone off the desk. It fell to the floor with a bang, breaking it on impact. You got up quickly, wanting to distance yourself from him.
“How did you know? About the phone, about me. We never met before our sessions. Why? I don’t understand.”
You blurted out in pure stress of the situation. He smiled as he started walking towards the side of the desk. You walked the other way, wanting to keep the desk between the two of you. He chuckled.
“You’re cute when you’re confused too.”
You continued walking backwards. Trying to keep as much distance from him, while he tries to close it.
“I’ve followed you for a long time, baby. A very long time.”
The two of you had walked an entire round around the desk now. He jumped down onto the sofa again. His hand gracing the sofa cushions beside him.
“Do you want to know the full story?”
You knew what he was hinting at. Your entire body was screaming not to get anywhere near him. But you needed to know. He didn’t have anything to hold back now, you were certain he would tell you the truth. So you walked towards the sofa, carefully sitting down beside him. You took a second to compose yourself before looking at him. Signalising that’s you were ready. He smiled.
“I have known you since we both were children. Your father was my brothers shrink. He´s the one that had PTSD. I saw you for the first time in the hotel lobby after your father had finished his session with my brother. You were maybe 6 and sat there for so long, waiting for your father to return. When I saw you, I knew we were meant to be. We were soulmates. And for the first time in my life I felt something for someone.”
He grabbed your hand. You quickly out of reflex tried to wiggle yourself out of his grip. He tugged your hand harshly towards him and your entire upper body followed. Without your hand to catch you, you fell straight into his chest. His other hand sneaked around your waist as you composed yourself.
“Let me go.”
You said annoyed, placing your hand on his chest to keep a distance.
“If you want to hear the rest, you have to play by my rules, baby.”
His eyes focused on your lips as he whispered to you. You shook your head.
“I don’t need to know the rest. I can make out the sob story on my own. Boy falls in love, boy doesn’t get girl.”
He shook his head and let go of your waist. You quickly sat back up, brushing off imaginary dust from your lap.
“You should show me some respect.”
He said with a serious tone. You rolled your eyes and crossed your eyebrows.
“I’m not scared of you.”
He chuckled at your comment, placing his hand around the back of the sofa.
“I don’t want you to be scared of me either. I just think that you should show the man you owe your life to some respect.”
He touched your shoulder, drawing small circles on your jumper.
“I don’t owe you anything.”
He smirked.
“Oh, but you do. I made you the person you are today. Without me you wouldn’t be here.”
You sighed tiredly at him.
“You’re unbelievable.”
You got up from your seat and walked back to your desk. Starting to pack up your stuff. You were so done with him. He needed help, but you would no longer treat him. You decided as much.
“I need to get out of here, if you’re not gone when I’m back I’ll call the police.”
You put your bag over your shoulder, ready to walk away.
“How did you get into Yale, Doctor?”
He asked out of the blue. You stopped in your tracks.
“What? Why?”
He shrugged.
“Just seems so weird that someone with your grades would be able to attend any Ivy League school. Don’t you agree?”
You went quiet. Not knowing where he wanted this conversation to go.
“And don’t you think it’s weird how you always got A’s even when you were out partying instead of studying?”
You thought back to the years when you were studying. You originally did only apply to Yale just because your father went there. You didn’t think you actually was going to make it, because your grades were mediocre.
“What are you saying?”
“You have no idea how many people I had to blackmail to get you there. How many men I had follow you constantly. How many professors I had to bribe to make them give you a good grade. I’ve spent millions on you, y/n!”
Your mind was racing. You didn’t understand anything. Was your entire life a lie?
“I have to give it to you. Your first book made it without my help. But when you came out with your second book, and it wasn’t a success right away. I bought almost half the copies and payed a hefty amount of money to make it a New York Times best seller.”
You dropped your bag in awe. What he was saying made a lot of sense. You started rethinking every significant moment in your life. Wondering if he was behind it all. He got up from his seat and started moving towards you. But this time you didn’t step back. You let him come close to you.
“I’ve done so much for you, baby. Why are you so ungrateful?”
You looked up at him. He was now standing right in front of you. So close that you could almost feel his breath on your skin.
“I didn’t ask you to do any of this. You can’t keep me in debt for something I-“
You struggled with continuing the sentence. The reality of his words hit you, and your tears threatened to spill.
“It’s ok, baby. I’m not asking for much, considering what I’ve given you.”
He whispered calmly. His hands found your waist. He took one step closer to you and placed his forehead against yours.
“All I want is you, right here on this sofa, showing me how grateful you are.”
You couldn’t hold your tears in anymore, letting them slowly drip down your cheeks. One of his hands abandoned your waist to wipe away the hot tears on your cheek. You looked into his eyes as he continued to hold your face.
“If I do it, will you leave me alone?”
His eyes focus on your lips and how close you were. He had never been this close to you.
“I can never leave you. You’re my soulmate.”
He simply answered. You looked down at the floor.
“Jungkook, you’re delusional. You have to stop.”
“How can I stop? Huh? You’re the only one that matters in my life!”
You continued looking at the floor, even when he pushed himself off you in his fit of rage.
“I fucking love you!”
You shook your head, looking up at him this time.
“You don’t love me! You don’t even know me! You’ve created this illusion in your head that we are meant to be, but we’re not!”
You yelled back at him angrily.
“You’ve interfered in my life when I didn’t ask you to! You don’t have the right to do that!”
“And where would you be without me?”
He argued back.
“You act like you don’t care! But you know that without my help you wouldn’t be anything. You would’ve been a nobody.”
His words stung. What he was saying was the truth. The hard truth. You would have never made it to college. Never gotten this job. Never been a successful author. Never followed in your fathers footsteps and made him proud. You heard Jungkook sigh.
“I’m sorry baby, but it’s the truth.”
He said dejectedly. You took a deep breath. Realising what you had to do.
“I’ll do it.”
You simply said and met his eyes.
“I’ll have sex with you once, but after this I need you to stop.”
“Baby-“
“Listen to me! I’ll find you another psychologist. I want you to go to there and get help. When your treatment is over-“
You stopped for a second. Contemplating if you wanted to commit to the promise you were about to make.
“I’ll meet you again. To talk. I can’t promise you more than that.”
His eyes lit up and he swiftly lifted you in a hug. Letting out small sounds of excitement and shaking you around a little. You couldn’t help but smile at his boyish action. After a moment he put you down again, but continued to hold your waist.
“I’ll do whatever you say, baby. I’ll do anything for you.”
Your hands found his strong chest. You kept the eye contact, but your eyes couldn’t help but flick down to his lips for a split second. And that’s all he needed to kiss you. It started slow, but quickly got hotter. Your hands slid around his neck, unconsciously pulling him deeper into the kiss. He stepped backwards. You were taken aback by the sudden movement, but followed his lead. He guided the two of you to the sofa. The same sofa he had sat in every time he came to your sessions. He broke the kiss to jump down on the sofa. He looked up at you with nothing but lust in his eyes. He had been waiting for this for many years, and finally he had you. He reached out for you as you straddled his lap, feeling his already hard cock between the fabric of your trousers. His hands moved down to your ass. Grabbing it the second he had a chance, and letting out a satisfied groan. You reached down to the hem of your top and pulled it off.
“You’re so fucking hot.”
He said with half lidded eyes as he watched your bare skin. You smirked at his comment and reached for his shirt as well. He lifted his back off the sofa to help you get it off. Once it was off you started examining his tattoos. Tracing his arm with your finger all the way up to his shoulder. You stopped once you saw the little circular scar. Your entire body froze as you remembered his words from your last session. “My mother reached her gun and shot the man in the shoulder. But he shot her in the head.”. He looked at you confused for a second, before he looked at his shoulder where your eyes were glued. He understood what you were thinking.
“You killed your family.”
You said and looked back at him. He was already shaking his head.
“The man was you. You killed them.”
You tried to get up from his lap, suddenly scared of the killer you were straddling. But he held you down with a strong grip.
“Baby calm down, let me explain.”
You continued to struggle. Not listening to his words.
“Y/n!”
He suddenly screamed. Getting your attention. He sighed.
“I didn’t kill them.”
“I don’t fucking believe you.”
You started struggling again, now hitting his chest as well. He quickly flipped the two of you. Pushing you down onto the sofa with his own body weight. Holding your wrists harshly.
“So what if I killed them? It doesn’t take away from the fact that you still owe me this!”
He looked dangerous on top of you like that. A single tear fell down the side of your cheek. He was right yet again. He kissed you tenderly. It was a sharp contrast to the tone in his voice.
“You still owe me your body.”
He started kissing down your neck. Eagerly taking one of your boobs in his hand. His crotch grinded against you for a second before you heard him curse under his breath.
“I’ll have to taste you another time. I can’t fucking wait any longer to be inside you.”
He started working on your jeans. Ripping them off in a hasty speed together with your panties. He quickly loosened his belt and repeated the action on himself. His cock sprung free, but you weren’t able to look at it for more than a second before he lifted your legs over his shoulders and pushed into you. The two of you moaned in unison. He was big, but he took little to no time for you to adjust, as he started thrusting into you with brutal force.
“You’re so fucking tight.”
He moaned, stopping his motion to spit on your pussy. Using it as lubricant. He continued quickly after. Moans and heavy breathing filled your office as the two of you strived to reach your orgasms. He reached down and started rubbing your clit. Almost overstimulating you.
“I’ve waited for this for so long, baby. You feel better than I ever imagined.”
You felt a familiar knot building in your lower stomach. The rapid speed of his hands and the stretching of his cock making you come closer to release quicker than ever.
“I need to come inside you. I need to fill you up, baby.”
You nodded. Not knowing or caring what you said yes to. You were already on cloud nine and needed him to continue whatever he was doing.
“Say my name.”
You understood he was close, and you were too.
“Jungkook!”
You moaned as your orgasm washed over you. You legs clenched around him, and your hands found his arms. Digging your nails into his skin. He came the second he heard his name escape your mouth. He let you ride out your orgasm, before he fell on top of you. You felt his breath go back to normal as he nuzzled into your neck. The two of you laid there in serenity for a while. Just feeling each others heartbeats and listening to each others breathing.
He would do as you told him. He would go see someone. He would do whatever it took to have you like that again. He would never let you go. You owed him this after all.
Thank you for reading! Do you want to read more?
Masterlist
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moonleeai · 1 year ago
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First things first. This banner!!! Wow.
The story!!! I don’t have words. This was such a good read!
Spoilers:
I felt every emotion from MCs mom to the “this shouldn’t have happened” from Seokjin 🥺😭 My heart was shattered!
💜 I loved this description “Your eyes are squeezed shut so tightly there are blooms of color flickering behind them”
Talk about STRESSED while they were running away!! 😓
The smut was superb and the ending was bittersweet! Ofc he never wished harm on his father but it honestly will free so many people 😌
Ugh! Again…such a good read!!!! 👏🏽
Masks & Merlot | KSJ
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▻ Masks & Merlot ↳ ModernLegacyHeir!Kim Seokjin x Servant!Reader ⤜ Long-time pining/drunk love confessions ⤜ Childhood friends to lovers ⤜ Rating: MA 🔞 ⤜ WC: 13,961 ⤜ Summary: Seokjin has a secret, one he hides behind a mask of responsibility and duty to his family, but a few bottles of wine have his lips loosening. Do you indulge his whispered confession or brush it off as merely merlot-colored fantasies?
⚠️ Crass language, hurt feelings, talk of death of a parent, talk of parent with terminal cancer, servitude mentality, heavily skewed power dynamics/objectification of women, physical parental abuse, heavy drinking, bad feelings, oral f. receiving, fingering, drunken advances, emotional gut-punching, biting, smacking/hitting, rough sexual advances, semi-hate sex, dom-ish!Reader, mildly subby Jin, cock claiming, vaginal sex, cream pie/unprotected sex, off-page gun violence Each chapter will have specific warnings listed.
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Chapter 1. Masks
Chapter 2. Merlot
Story is complete.
A/N: Written for the BangtanWritersHQ Bangtanstrology Writing Event hosted by @hisunshiine My Big 3 are: Sagittarius Sun🔆(Member): Seokjin Aquarius Moon🌙(Where): Ballroom Capricorn Rising✨(Trope): Drunken Confessions
A special thank you to @hisunshiine and @downbad4yoongi for being A+ betas!
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◅ Back to Main Master List  ©️ 2023-06 ColorMePurplex2
69 notes · View notes
chaostudee · 9 days ago
Note
Hi can you write a lando norris x horner!reader fc ( hannah dodd) you can choose the plot smau pls
wildflower, lando norris
summary : y/n y/ln is a well known actress in the film industry and lando norris a top driver in formula 1. they had grown up together but had since grown apart and developed a hatred for another. after a public spectacle lando norris's manager suggests a pr relationship with none other than y/n y/ln. faceclaim : hannah dodd a/n : first request <33 hope u like it alsooo i love hannah dodd smm but the ogs know her from find me in paris but her in bridgerton omdss. also apologies in advance but this is like rlyyyy long. p.s alexandra liked my comment on tiktok 😭
y/nusername some bts for you 💐
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liked by christianhorner, maxverstappen, kellypiquet and 782,829 others.
user728 the best casttt
username12 acc can't wait for s3
user99 my comfort people forever
user342 love u smmm y/n you're the best !!
y/nfan ik this season is going to be so insane
user689 so so excited like when s2 came out i binged it in one day (yes i am a bit insane)
user44 help no cause that's so real
y/nlover y/n was made for period dramas
y/nusername
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》 OMG YES YES OUR QUEEN IS FINALLY COMING BACK WE MISSED YOU
》 MISSED YOU AT THE RACES
》 WE BETTER GET MAX AND Y/N CONTENT I LOVE THEM SMM
》 everything is right in the world
》 the redbull princess
maxverstappen friends and family
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liked by christianhorner, y/nusername, kellypiquet and 3,588,459 others.
y/nusername i missed p smmm
kellypiquet trust we know you did you literally facetimed her twice a day
user67 i just know y/n is going to be such a good mother one day
username chestappen lover here 🤭
user44 awww it is rare that we get posts like this from max
username75 y/n is literally like max's sister atp i acc love their relationship smm
y/nusername great to be back 🏎
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liked by maxverstappen, alexandrasaintmleux, carlossainz and 928,071 others.
user728 our unbothered queen
user459 not max and lando literally beefing on the first lap and then the camera pans to y/n smiling and waving like pllsss why is sky so messy like that
alexandrasaintmleux need your style so bad
user678 so happy to see her smile again
username124 i just can't get over y/n and lando like i refuse to believe that they don't ever talk like that's crazy to me
f1fan FR they literally grew up together user22 yesss christian was like a second father figure in his life
user889 can we talk about how her fit are the ferrari colours i alwaysss knew she was just like meee
user99 imagine your father being an f1 team principal likeee why not meee
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landonorris tough race today after a collsion on the first lap but we will come back stronger
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liked by oscarpiastri, mclaren, f1fan and 2,578,227 others.
user56 totally your fault mate
user22 who do u think you are
username78 never hated you up until now
user299 thanks for screwing up max's race
f1fan i'm sorry lando i love you but that was uncalled for
user99 i stand with my cancelled wife 🧍‍♀️
༘˚⋆𐙚。⋆𖦹.✧˚
texts between lando and manager
this isn't good is it? lando
no lando no it's not manager
everyone is taking it wayyy out of context lando
ik ik manager
so what do we do lando
i might have an idea but you have to trust me manager
༘˚⋆𐙚。⋆𖦹.✧˚
y/nusername a night out in monaco
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liked by alexandrasaintmleux, charlesleclerc, maxverstappen and 866,358 others.
user677 girl is just everywhere atm
user34 oooo i spot those ferrari's
username45 serving faceeee
akexandrasaintmleux had the best time with you !
y/nusername me toooo can't wait to do it again
y/nfan omggg she was with charles and alex in a club so insaneee
user000 y/n is actually so classy and chic
f1updates lando norris and y/n y/ln spotted in monaco earlier today
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liked by justaninchident, f1fan, user67 and 539,795 others.
user57 EXCUSE ME?!
user674 😮
f1fan the ogs are crying rn
user67 yesss i can confirm
username57 am i being pranked rnnn cus wtfff
f1lover this has to be pr like there is no they just decided to meet up on random tuesday and get papped like nuh uh
user00 ya'll are mad but i'm happy asf like idc if it's fake or not they still interacted
user223 a win is a win
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༘˚⋆𐙚。⋆𖦹.✧˚
texts between lando and y/n
i'm only doing this for the money y/n
trust me ik you are lando
well you've always been materialistic lando
wowww says the one who literally has over 20 flashy cars just for show y/n
whatever em my manager wanted to remind you that we have to start making posts together to yk let the public start a rumour about us dating or whatevs lando
ok y/n
ok? lando
yes fine i'll post something now y/n
thanks lando
i still hate you y/n
you can't hate me forever lando
yes i can y/n
well pls pretend that you don't infront of the cameras lando
i'm literally an actress y/n
oh yeah 😭😭 lando
what a muppet y/n
༘˚⋆𐙚。⋆𖦹.✧˚
y/nusername family dinner
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liked by christianhorner, landonorris, maxverstappen and 1,282,728 others.
user627 FAMILY DINNER WITH LANDO NORRIS?¿
user82 am i seeing what i think i'm seeing
username62 i'm so confused rn because whaaaaa
user56 there is no way christian is okay with thisss
f1fan y/n is just living that life
user34 i still think this is pr because it's so typical that they are seen together after all the hate lando is getting
username123 waittt this lowkey makes sense
username46 helpp the pic of christian im peeing
༘˚⋆𐙚。⋆𖦹.✧˚
texts between max and y/n
YOU AND LANDO WHAT max
it's pr you dummy y/n
okay but still....you and lando.....you hate eachother max
yeah but we can just fake it infront of the cameras y/n
oh god y/n this is a horrible idea max
how he gets his reputation back and i get some money whats the big deal y/n
ohh is this about what he said about you over the radio y/n
nah nah i'm over that we're good we talked max
did he apologize y/n
actually ye he did max
wow you had to wait like a week for an apology while i've been waiting 8 years y/n
damn max
༘˚⋆𐙚。⋆𖦹.✧˚
y/nusername start of press tour eek literally my fav part of the job
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liked by landonorris, maxverstappen, kellypiquet and 2,578,553 others.
user56 quick like norris quick like lando norris 🎶
user99 girl just tell us are you with lando or not
f1fan if she's happy i'm happy
kellypiquet forever in awe of your beauty
y/nusername stoppp ily smm
user56 lowkey obsessed with this fit
username688 oh i'm so ready for the press tour
f1lover do u think lando will will come with her on the press tour
user44 omgg yeah maybe he could because summer break has just started
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landonorris my beautiful girl
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liked by y/nusername, charlesleclerc, alexandrasaintmleux and 4,689,340 others.
user728 stoppp what is going onnn
user900 awww this is acc so sweet
f1fan lando is so so lucky
justaninchident omggg y/n drop the workout routine plsss
username516 hottest couple
user34 can't believe this is real
user13 they literally have hated eachother for years i'm so confused
y/nusername s3 out now enjoy !! (p.s i wish we all dressed like this on the daily)
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liked by alexandrasaintmleux, landonorris, maxverstappen and 748,457 others.
user56 omggg i just binged watched it it's so good i'm obsessed
user728 so so good y/n so proud of how far you've come
username how can someone be this perfect 🤭
f1fan she's serving cuntttt
user67 need that dress acc
alexandrasaintmleux just watched and can confirm that y/n is a sensation !!
landonorris
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》 ughhh they are so so cute
》 we love a supportive bf
》 the math is not mathing
》 how? when? what? why?
》 y/n is so stinkin cute
*written*
as the sun began to set on the top of the waters in the far off distance, you let out a sigh, enraptured by the view. you had now been spending two weeks in mallorca in spain ans you'd be lying if you said you weren't enjoying yourself.
you and lando had just been for your evening meal and now you were walking along the beach which had become your nightly routine here in spain.
lando walks beside you hands in pockets as he looks right ahead him, but he notices as you begin to slow down.
you wince in pain as you made the idotic decision of wearing the most uncomfortable pair of heels you own. you take the heel and groan when you see a blister begin to form.
"you okay?" lando asks walking over to you and instructing you to lean on him. you oblige before setting down your feet and pulling away from him.
"yeah no no i'm fine"
"you can wear my shoes if you want i don't mimd" lando offers but you hesitate.
"but what about you?"
"it's not that far of a walk i'll be fine"
"you sure?"
lando nods and hands you his shoes, taking your heels off your hands. you slip onto lando's shoes and sigh in relief.
"thanks lan". lando' eyebrows raise at the nickname but he doesn't conplain and responds to you with a mindless shrug.
noticing that he still held a tight grip on your heels as you had begun to walk again you suggest to take them off his hands.
"i can take my heels back if you want" you offer.
"no no it's bother and you know i have to be the model boyfriend". you giggle and blush at this and imagine that what it would be like if lando was your real boyfriend but your thoughts are quickly brushed away when you remember that you are supposed to hate him. and he can certaintly not know you feel this way.
a camera shutter clicks which draws you from your thoughts and you jump at the sound.
lando grits his teeth. "the fucking paps".
you bite your lip nervously as you have never had good experiences with them before. upon noticing your nervous demeanour lando takes his hand in yours and nods at you before you walk up to the street.
your eyes widen as you notice all the photographers lining each side of the street.
"hey it's okay the apartment is not too far from here, i've got you"
you nod and allow lando to steer you clear of the paps as the scream nonesense and invasive questions. just as you are about to be out of their viewshot lando stops to kiss you on the cheek.
"what was that for?"
lando urges his head towards the dozens of photographers that were most likely ecstatic with their picture.
you nod in understanding but also in disappointment as you wished he had said there were no reason. but things like that don't happen in fake relationship. but god you wish they did.
landonorris
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liked by y/nusername, oscarpiastri, maxverstappen and 4,379,906 others.
user772 omggg they spent summer together
username728 awww
f1fan just them
user728 mom and dad
f1lover nobody gets them like i do
oscarpiastri no wonder you aren't answering my messages
userw78 LANDO ANSWER OSCAR
user728 omgg did u guys see the paparazzi pics
justaninchident omggg yess they were so cute and the kiss on the cheek i was melting
y/nusername
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》 LET'S GO LANDO
》 eeeeek i love them smm
》 oh im so ready for y/n's photo dump
》 so so cute
》 the it couple
y/nusername summer with bae
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liked by landonorris, alexandrasaintmleux, charlesleclerc and 782,117 others.
landonorris ❤️
alexandrasaintmleux miss you girl
y/nusername miss you moreee
user828 i love them sm i can't anymore
user2 omggg y/n's dress is so gorge
f1fan omg lando 👀👀
user27 idk who i want to be more
*written*
you had wanted to bring up ever since you had reunited for the purpose of the pr relationship yet it never seemed like there was an appropiate time. you were enjoying yourself far too much to ruin it and truthfully lando had for the most part had stopped being a jerk towards you.
lando pulls a beer from out of the near empty fridge before he pulls a chair beside you on the balcony. he looks over at you while taking a swig, taking a deep interest into how intense you were looking over at the horizon.
"something on your mind?" lando asks, now also fixating his vision on the far off distance.
you look at him when he says those words and part of you wishes you could prevent the words that come out of your mouth next.
"i was thinking about us....about what happened with us"
lando groans and rubs a hand down his face before setting down his beer. "please tell me you are joking y/n"
you stand your ground. "no i'm not i'm serious lando we need to talk about this".
lando looks at you with annoyance. "can't we just move on from it like we are actually being civil towards one another and now you want to start up something else".
"i wish i could move on but i can't until you apologize"
lando tuts. "well i'm not going to do that".
your eyes widen in shock, you can't believe that he just said that to you, and so boldly too.
lando blows out a breath. "i don't regret picking mclaren over you".
his words are like a knife to the stomach and even lando flinches at the words just spoken. you sit there motionless for a moment before standig up.
"i'm going home"
"wait what no y/n what do you mean".
"i mean i'm going home".
you get up and make your way to the bedroom, pulling the suitcase from underneath the bed and packing anything that you can find belonging to you into it.
"y/n stop being so dramatic you don't have to do this"
you look back at him, angered. "yes yes i do because just as i was starting to have one ounce of trust for you, you basically tell me that i meant nothing to you back then".
"y/n-"
"no don't you say another word i'm done and so are we, and if i see your mangaer contacting me i swear to god" you blurt out so angered with him there are a milliom thoughts waiting to emerge.
those were the last words spoken as you rush out of the apartment slamming the door behind you leaving lando stood there in regret. as much as he wanted to run after to you, he was rooted to the spot because deep down he knew that you deserved better than him. and deep down he knew that you knew that too.
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texts between y/n and christian
hi y/n just wanted to check up on you sweetie because i've seen alot of stuff online christian
about me and lando y/n
well yeah christian
are you okay? christian
well yeah it was a pr stunt so it meant nothing to me y/n
A PR STUNT......so it wasn't real christian
no y/n
thank god i still hate him christian
dad 😭😭 y/n
so what happened christian
i mean i brought up the whole leaving us to go mclaren and we got in a heated argument and i just blurted out i can't do this anymore y/n
is that what you want? christian
wdym y/n
did u want to break up with him christian
okay you're being weird y/n
it's a simple question y/n christian
it was a pr relationship y/n
doesn't mean that you didn't want it to end christian
ugh stop confusing me and what do u care u literally said you hate lando dad like what y/n
i care because if he makes you happy i'm happy christian
alexandrasaintmleux lunch date with bestie and leo
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liked by y/nusername, kellypiquet, charlesleclerc and 1,457,897 others.
kellypiquet the most gorgeous girls + leo
alexandrasaintmleux 😭❤️
user644 THE f1 wags
username7 i love themmmm
f1fan fangirling so bad rnnn
user829 OMG IMAGINE A GRWM WITH THESE TWO I'D DIE
f1lover we need outfit details
maxverstappen these two are both so stubborn that they won't even talk to eachother to try to work things out so i have to resort to coming on here. lando over the years i've got to know how much y/n means to you, you both grew up together drifted apart and have now found your way back to one another. please don't throw that away. and y/n even though you try to deny it you care, maybe too much. so please both of you just talk and try and sort things out becsuse p really misses auntie y/n and unce lando.
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liked by landonorris, y/nusername, kellypiquet and 7,516,006 others.
user728 i'm acc sobbing
username672 Y/N AND LANDO LISTEN TO MAX
f1fan this was not on my 2024 bingo card
user12 max being matchmaker makes sm sense
f1lover "p misses auntie y/n and uncle lando" TEARS TEARS
*comments on this post have been limited*
texts between y/n and lando
hey.... y/n
so im guessing you saw max's post lando
i did yeah y/n
i agree with him funnily enough, we need to talk lando
i'm still mad at you but yes i care about you alot y/n
i care about you too lando
then why did you do it y/n
god i was young i was stupid and i rly thought it wouldn't affect you that much lando
how stupid were you?! y/n
very stupid lando
i'm so sorry y/n you didn't deserve any of the pain i gave you oh god i actually need to talk to christian aswell lando
well your about 8 years too late to apologize to my dad he like full on hates you y/n
so you don't hate me anymore lando
no silly but you can't be forgiven that easy y/n
i'll do anything to make it up to you lando
yeah you better y/n
landonorris my sweet girl i promise i will never let you go
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liked by y/nusername, maxverstappen, kellypiquet and 5,729,629 others.
maxverstappen istg if you hurt her ever again i will find you
user728 😭😭 f1fan if i was lando rn i'd be shitting it username516 mad max has entered the building
f1lover thank you max *we all say in unison*
kellypiquet what max said
user517 i need to know the lore on what happened
username627 don't know how to feel rn lowkey
*written*
your hand slots into lando's as you look up at him to only find him looking directly back at you with his eyes full of lust.
you blush and smile shyly at him.
"can you believe that after everything we've been through that we ended up together"
"i can" lando says confidently, so confidently that you can't help but roll your eyes in annoyance.
"what i'm serious the minute we met i knew you were the one"
you raise your eyebrows, not believing anything that is coming out of his mouth. "you were five" you state, as you have a recollection of your first time meeting when he bumped into you on the way to the track.
"so, when you know you know". he takes his thumb and traces it across your cheek before leaning in to press his lips against your own. you could never get used to way that made you feel.
"wait wait but you hated me" u you interrupt, pulling away from him in a moment of realization.
"i never hated you i just pretended to"
it takes a moment for you to register his words as he look back at him in confusion."why".
"because the girl i was in love with hated me"
"you were in love with me?"
"always have been always will be"
and with that you bit back a grin. in that moment you couldn't be happier, not only had you regained a friend but earned a soulmate and you couldn't wait to see what the future would hold.
taglist ⭑.ᐟ
@lottalove4evelyn
@sweetestgirlintown111
@mxryxmfooty
@hadidsworld
@llando4norris
@heavy-vettel
@nichmeddar
@janeh22
@love2readd
@seonghwaexile
@depressedriches
358 notes · View notes
dragon-kazansky · 7 months ago
Text
Bridgerton shade of blue
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Benedict Bridgerton x Female Reader
Benedict bumps into you, quite literally, at a ball while trying to escape his mother's attempts to find him a partner. You decide to humour him with a dance, not realising just how entwined you would become with him. It seems the universe will find every excuse to push you and Benedict together, no matter how much you fight it.
{Masterlist}
{Previous Chapter} - {Season Two}
Season one
Chapter Seventeen - End of the season
♡♡♡
The duke and duchess were holding the last ball of the season. It was going to be a grand event to be certain. The whole ton would be there.
You were wearing your last gown made for the season. It was beautiful. A shade of green. It had little jewels sewn into it, so it would sparkle while you danced.
You looked forward to seeing Thomas.
Though you had not secured an engagement within the time of the season, you hoped that you may continue to correspond with Thomas while he was in the country, and perhaps go see him at his family estate, that he may ask.
Your mother would be so proud.
Your maid did your hair and helped the jewellery. It was going to be a spectacular season finale. You could feel it in your bones.
Hastings House was beautiful.
You walked with your mother around the fountain to the main entrance. The ball was to be held in a small courtyard in the middle of the house. Daphne had done a splendid job.
There was a painting of the duke and duchess on display. Painted bt Henry Granville. It was beautifully done.
You stand off to the side while your mother chats with guests. You watch people waltz.
Violet arrives with Eloise. Daphne goes to talk to her sister.
You keep your eyes peeled for any sign of Thomas.
The next to come through the door are the Featheringtons. You cannot deny your relief at seeing Penelope again. Granted, she is wearing yellow, but she is here.
One dance ends, and the next dance begins.
You take a stroll about the ball. Thomas has yet to arrive, it seems. You smile at Penelope as you pass her. She smiles back, too, seemingly surprised you had paid her any attention. People usually don't.
You see Colin parting ways with Benedict across the room. Your eyes follow the second eldest Bridgerton as he walks.
He hasn't noticed you.
Maybe that's for the best...
No.
No. He is your friend and you want to talk to him. You are about to make your way across the room when a servant comes up to you with a note on his tray. You look at him confused.
"For you, ma'am."
You look at the note and pick it up. The servant leaves, and you unfold the paper. The handwriting belongs to Thomas.
I must apologise. I am to leave for York immediately. I shall not be at the Hastings ball. Do have fun on my behalf.
- T. Hardy
You stare at the note in silence. He's not coming at all. He must have left earlier in the day. Perhaps in a rush. You had been at the Bridgertons that afternoon, so if he called the house, you wouldn't have seen him.
If he had called to the house, the butler would have told you, or even your mother. He did not call... So he must have been in a rush.
You sigh. You fold the note back up and leave it on a tray of a passing waiter. They can dispose of it for you.
Glancing up, you find two blue eyes gazing at you. Benedict has seen you. Now you're definitely going to go talk to him. You make your way across the courtyard and come to stand beside Benedict.
"Hello."
"Hello," he replies softly.
Silence fills the space between you, and you turn to the dancers to occupy yourself, and to keep from looking at him again.
"Is Lord Hardy not with you?" Benedict couldn't help asking. He was surprised to see you standing alone tonight.
"No. He left London already. Back to York."
Benedict is even further surprised by the information. He thought Hardy would stay until the very end. He believed the man to be falling for you.
"I see."
You look down and try to keep yourself in check. "I thought maybe I had finally found someone. Someone who perhaps desried me, but it seems I was wrong."
Benedict keeps quiet.
"I wasn't enough for anyone this season. I tried, and I failed. Doesn't matter, I suppose. Next year might be different."
"You didn't fail."
You look up at Benedict. "I didn't secure a proposal or even managed to keep a man interested enough to at least say goodbye before he left."
"You might see him again," he says.
"Somehow, I feel not."
Benedict feels for you. You have been nothing but glorious and wonderful and yourself all year round. You wiggled yourself into the lives of his family and became a pleasant consistent in their lives. You encouraged his passions and made him feel a little more like himself.
"You didn't fail," he says again.
You look up at him and crack a smile. "Next year then."
He nods.
The music changes and the floor is cleared. You notice the duke and duchess approach each other. You knew something had happened between them, but didn't know what. Yet, here they were about to dance for the ton.
You smile at Daphne as dances with her husband. They look like such a handsome couple. You envy them. You envy what they have.
The way they look at each other. How close he holds her to him.
Love.
It is so rare. It's so rare that very few people ever get to feel it for real. You want it. You want to know what it feels like to have, well, a soulmate. The one person made just for you. To love and to hold. To cherish. To share every moment with.
Benedict shifts hisngaze from his sister to look at you. He can see the way you watch Daphne and Simon dance.
Benedict's had fun. He played around. Tested the waters. But looking at you right here and right now makes him rethink everything.
Genevieve has certainly been fun. Yet, if you were going to try again for your own sake next year, perhaps he should, too. You, who inspired his art. Inspired him to try harder and practise more.
Perhaps next season, you will both benefit and grow more as people.
As the waltz continues, the sound of thunder rumbling in the distance brings you to look up at the sky. The heavens open and rain pours. You gasp softly as the cool droplets hit your skin.
Benedict instinctively reaches out for you and guides you under the canopy toward the house. You look up at him and then turn back to the ball. Everyone else does the same, seeking shelter from the rain.
Everyone but Daphne.
Simon is holding her hand as if he was guiding her to shelter, but Daphne stops him from doing so. She closes her eyes and lifts her face to the sky, letting the rain fall.
She looks beautiful.
Lady Danbury stops anyone else from going out into the rain. "Everyone... I believe this evening is complete. We shall thank our gracious hosts for such a splendid soiree in the morning. Now, go. Out."
Everyone begins to leave.
Benedict slips his hand into yours and guides you out. You look up at him quietly.
Daphne and Simon have some talking to do.
Benedict guides you through the house and outside to the carriage. It's still raining. His hair sticks to his head and you giggle.
"What?"
"Nothing..." You smile.
He gives you a boyish grin. He helps you into the carriage and stands around in the doorway.
"Will I see you tomorrow?" He asks.
"You leave for the country tomorrow."
"Are you not also?"
"Me and Mama are to stay in London. We don't have a country house to go to in the summer."
Benedict didn't know that. "Did your father not own an estate?"
"We had to sell it when he died. He left us with a great deal of dept."
He realises in that moment how much he doesn't know about you. You're so much more complicated than he originally thought.
Your mother clears her throat and Benedict moves to let her into the carriage.
"See you soon, I hope?" He looks at you.
"I'll write."
He nods and watches the footman close the door. He steps back as the carriage leaves, and Benedict finds himself a little lonely.
♡♡♡
When you rise the next morning, you have no idea of anything that happened within the Featherington house. Lord Featherington died. He was killed.
Penelope spent much of the morning in tears. Elosie had gone to visit her.
Marina went with Sir Philip Crane. The brother of her deceased love who never made it back home. She was to marry him. At least she could have her child and be looked after.
You had decided to go to the Bridgerton house before they all left. It was the least you could do for Benedict and his family. They had all seemed pleased to see you when you arrived, and that made you feel warm inside.
Colin was leaving for Greece. Another reason for Penelope to be upset. Colin was going to be so far away travelling the world.
You waved him off as he rode away on his horse. Benedict had his arm locked with yours.
As the rest of the family headed inside, you struck up conversation with Daphne, Simon, and Anthony. While the duke and duchess are staying in London a little longer, it would seem Anthony intends to find a Viscountess.
That leaves all of you stunned.
Though he follows it up by saying he will keep love out of it to keep things simple. Daphne frowns at that. As do you.
"Perhaps he will learn," she says.
"Perhaps not," you reply.
Eloise hurries over to her brother, who is about to climb onto a horse. You had already said farewell to him.
"Give my regards to Madame Delacroix." She says to Benedict.
"Your regards will have to wait, El," he responds. "She is making a short trip to France."
"Oh? Not going to say goodbye to her?" Eloise asks.
"I did. Last night, if you must know."
Benedict had gone to see her after he bid you goodnight. He went to say goodbye. After seeing you at the ball last night, he decided to change his mind on a few things.
Granted, the goodbye was a long one. He spent a couple of hours at the shop, but nothing untoward happened.
"You said goodbye to her?"
"After Daphne's ball, yes." Benedict then mentioned he spent most of the ball with you.
Eloise worked out that if Madame Delacroix had been at the shop all night. That couldn't have been her in the carriage when Eloise went to protect Whistledown.
Eloise headed back inside.
"Are you coming?" Benedict calls.
You turn and see him on his horse. "Me?"
"Yes, you." He chuckles.
"Where?"
"One last ride around the square before me and my family leave for the summer." He offers.
You smile and look up at him. "I'm not dressed for riding.
"No matter. He offers you his hand."
"Benedict... we cannot create a scandal at the very end of the season."
"Why not?" He grins
"Because I said so."
He laughs.
"Very well. I'm glad you came to see us." He says.
"Me too. Have a lovely summer, Benedict."
"You too." He speaks your name softly, smiling. You both stay like that for a moment, looking at each other. The moment is broken we spurs his horse onward.
You watch him go with a smile.
You look around the square and sigh softly.
Next season was going to be different. It had to be.
♡♡♡
@callmemana - @lilscast - @imgondeletedis - @benedictbridgertonss - @clownsdiehard - @wxnterwidow333
@sillynilly27 - @autumn-slaves - @ben-has-arrived - @ajdelilah - @aadu2173
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@biancamde - @ifgslsofbsodbf - @kniselle - @berarenado - @grassclippers - @bwormie - @avengersgirllorianna
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bambieheeseunglee · 15 days ago
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heeseung lip syncing to no guidance changed lives. ツ
kay
Lee Heeseung - 01 line!
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forbebeandjam · 6 months ago
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I was thinking along the lines a sweet smut fic of g!p Bada and sweet wifey reader. Where reader asks Bada for a baby cause she wants to grow their family.
Baby Mine | Bada Lee g!p x Fem Reader | Smutty Fluff
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Summary: your baby fever was stronger than you thought.
World count: 1.7k
Warnings: g!p Bada, fingering, etc. MDNI
READERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED
A/N: once again trying something new. I have to be honest and say, I don’t know if I did this right. I used to write BTS smuts before so… yeah. Hope I did okay for you! Enjoy!!
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Marrying Bada had to be one of the best decisions of your life. Being by her side was so wholesome. You could look forward to seeing her at the end of a long shift and cooking her favorite meal. 
Though being apart was painful sometimes, you were both busy dancers but that never came between the love you had for each other. That was until you finally had a Street Woman Fighter 2 gathering. 
You would get to tour and hang out together every day along with the other girls that you missed. 
However, some stage feeling in you started to develop when you saw Aiki with her daughter while you worked. The way they bonded was just so pure and beautiful. Then you saw your other actor friends, with their children or pregnant. 
You didn't want to burden Bada with your thoughts. You knew she was at the peak of her career and you would never do anything to interfere with that so you just kept quiet. Every time you two had sexual intercourse she would end up pulling out like always so you also assumed she didn't want kids yet.
After packing and heading to your second destination of the tour, you were having so much fun playing around on stage and behind the stage with your friends. On the third day of the tour, you could see some of the girl's families arrive to visit them. 
Including Akanen's husband and daughter. Akanen was such a sweet mother but you were never close to her. You never had the guts to approach her. Bada on the other hand was close friends with her. 
One day after the show you went to the dressing rooms and you saw how Akanen's daughter ran up to Bada. Bada picked her up and spun her around. The little girl laughed and giggled and then her eyes landed on you. 
"This is my beautiful wife," Bada said as she approached you and the girl held your face with a warm smile. Your entire being was moved by the girl and a tear threatened to escape your eye but you held back and walked away.
You got dressed and packed. Bada asked if something was bothering you but you didn't say anything and headed to the hotel. You were oddly quiet given the fact that you got to share a van with Audrey, Emma, and Bada. Usually, you always play around with them or do karaoke but this time you just lay your head on Emma's shoulder and look straight ahead. 
When you arrived at the hotel, you grabbed your bags and walked out of the van without waiting for Bada. You wanted to avoid her before blurting out something you didn't mean.
You placed your things in the room and went to shower. Bada didn't say a thing already sensing something was wrong. She decided to give you some space and she went to shower. 
You brushed your hair calmly looking out the window and staring at the city. Your mind was filled with thoughts of little feet running around the house and the sweet giggles and cries of a newborn. 
Suddenly, you came back to reality when you felt Bada's hands wrap around your figure. She placed soft kisses from your cheek to your neck knowing how to get your mind off of things. You tilted your head allowing her full access to your neck so she could continue.
"Just relax. I'll make you feel good," she said and you smiled. You turned to her slightly pushed her onto the bed and straddled her. She kissed you on the forehead and smiled. 
"What's going on inside your mind, babe?" she said as she locked eyes with you. It was never hard to communicate your words and thoughts to Bada. She always made it easy to share your feelings. 
"Well... I am feeling a bit tired from the show and..." You hesitated to speak for fear of saying something that might upset her. 
"Talk to me. Please," she said as she pushed your hair behind your ear. 
"Well, I was working with Aiki and she had her daughter with us and she was so sweet and nice. Then I was talking to Yejin and she showed me her baby. Then Akanen and her cute daughter..." you paused to gather your thoughts. 
"Baby... what are you trying to say?" Bada asked in concern when she saw how your eyes were tearing up. 
"You looked so perfect while holding her and then she touched my face and I... I thought of how good of a mother you would be and how pretty I would look pregnant. Bada..." You held her face and looked deep into her eyes. 
"I want to have your babies," you finally blurted out. Her face turned a bright red but her eyes didn't divert from yours. 
"Bada Lee, I want you to put a baby in me," You said once more to make sure the message got across. 
You didn't say anything else but felt the member in her pants harden against your thigh making you grin. 
"Baby, don't play with me," she said as she shut her eyes. 
"I am not playing, Bada. I have never been so serious about anything," You said as you lowered yourself on her clothed penis grinding against it. She let out a soft groan. and took a hold of your his. With one swift move, she flipped you and was now on top of you. 
"I have been dreaming about this for years. My own little family with you. It will be perfect, baby," she said as she attacked your lips hungrily. You used your hands to remove the underwear under your silk nightgown. 
The straps of your dress fell over your shoulders exposing your breast to her sight and she didn't hesitate to take one in her mouth, savoring it. 
She used her free hand to remove the sweats she was wearing and collected the juices dripping down from you with her long member. Slowly sliding between your gushy walls allowing you to adjust to her. 
You bit your lip and looked up at her innocently. Those eyes drove her crazy. Something about the thought of finally getting to release inside of you made her even more turned on. So she began to move. 
She started off with slow thrusts and your bodies moved in sync like a dance. The devil's tango. But as you moaned her name and occasional coos of "faster, baby," and "more, please," she began to increase her pace. 
She began to speed up using her hand to rub on your now-sensitive clit. You felt yourself clench around her length when she reached your sweet spot. She moaned as her elbows were on each side of your head for support. 
Both of your breathing patterns were speedy and short. 
"I'm almost there. Don't stop, Bada. Please," you said making her grin. 
"What is it that you want, baby?" she asked. 
"Cum in me, please. Please, Bada," you began to rock your hips for friction but she used her hands to hold down your hips hard. 
"I love it when you beg for me," she said and started trusting again using her hands to go deeper in you by pulling your hips against you. 
Your eyes shut close and when you opened them you could only see stars. The ecstasy of the moment was too much you thought you couldn't handle it. 
That was until, with one last thrust, she poured herself inside of you. Rippling waves of pleasure washed through your body and your eyes rolled back. Bada soon collapsed on top of you, still inside. 
You thought she was finished but you clenched once more around her making her groan loudly and let out more of her seed inside of you. She didn't bother to get up from you and once you both recovered from the magical moment, you began to stroke her hair as she lay on your bare chest. 
"So, what do you want to name her... or him?" she asked. 
"I haven't given any thought. What about, Yeni Cho?" you said with a giggle. 
"Ha. Ha. Very funny," she sarcastically said. 
"I don't care about any of that. All that matters is that we are on the same page, baby," you said and she nodded. Soon you both drifted off to sleep. 
-
(A few months later)
Touring was over and you were sitting on the couch biting your nails. You had bought almost all of the pregnancy tests available at the store. Bada was supposed to return home soon from her trip to Vietnam. 
You jumped at the sound of the timer indicating your seven pregnancy tests were ready and the result should be revealed soon but you couldn't bring yourself to look at them. You paced the bathroom like a lunatic and talked to yourself. 
"Baby! I am home," You jumped at Bada's voice. You were so busy, you didn't even hear the code to come in the house or her keys. 
"I'm in the bathroom, Bada," You said still biting your nails. Bada walked to the bathroom and her eyes widened when she saw how many pregnancy tests were on the counter. 
"Baby, are you-"
"I don't know. I've been standing here for like five minutes and I'm nervous. I missed my period and I've been getting morning sickness so... I just figured I should discard any possibilities before going to the doctor. You look. I can't do it," You said and walked out of the bathroom. 
Bada turned test after test. Her face changed each time she held a new one. You walked in feeling eager. 
"We are going to be moms, baby. We are going to be moms!" she said as he picked you up and kissed your lips. 
"All of them? Are they all positive?" you asked. Bada nodded repeatedly as tears escaped her eyes. She embraced you in her warmth and you cried together. 
This was truly the start of something new. A new growing family. Something beautiful and you were forever grateful that Bada would be the mother of your future babies.
Thank you for reading🩵
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yoon-kooks · 2 years ago
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pennyellee · 5 months ago
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𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐈𝐗 - 𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐮𝐧𝐚
LACRIMOSA | MYG MAFIA YANDERE AU
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pairings: mafia leader!yoongi x f!reader genre: mafia!au, yandere au, historical au
summary: Their interlocking gaze served as a butterfly effect on his heart, stirring it to the core. She, in turn, only dreams to find a way to escape. But perchance, over time she might forcefully learn to love the man who has taken so much from her.
Thus unfolds a twisted tale of love and loss, of hope and despair, of life and death. The music reverberated through the dimly-lit streets. Tears of sorrow, weeping symphony - reflects the hurt, the scars that linger deep within and the wounds that never healed. Lacrimosa.
warnings: minors dni 18+ | mafia au, dark!yoongi, mafia!yoongi, mentions of antidepressants, anxiety, panic attacks, nightmares, mentions of night terrors, mentions of self harm, manipulative behaviour, mentions of labotomy, medical cases, intimate life, diseases, “failed” pregnancy, alcohol, medication, etc.
beta read by @chaoticpuff17
word count: 8,7K
disclaimer: this story is purely fictional, it does not depict real-life events or involve any actual members of BTS. This story will contain depictions of violence, blood shed, death, mentions of abuse, smoking, alcohol drinking, illegal activities, old social norms and traditions, which we do not condone.
A/N: so yes, it took me a while to actually finish this chapter and as I mentioned - it’s shorter than what I usually want to write for lacrimosa. Truth to be told, this is what I can do for now till I get something better to write on. I don’t know when the next chapter will be written and up, so for now thank you for your patience, i actually didnt think i would write a chapter whilst im in US coz the only device on my person is my phone, but im very happy I managed to write something. This chapter is more of a prequel go what’s going to happen next. Many of you actually guessed/predicted some things right and for some you have to wait till the very end, we’re near it.
Massive thank you goes to @chaoticpuff17 who managed to beta read it despite both our situations being crazy rn, ily queen 🥹🫧🩵
Love you all, p.
m.list previous next
lacuna (n.) a blank space, missing part
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The night was relentless, a symphony of thunderclaps and the steady drum of rain against the cobblestones. The celebrations of the famous Kkangpae toned down, and after some months, several trips to the barren debris land of where Yakuza reigned, they returned safely to the sanctuary.
Back where she cannot hide from him in the stables, kitchen or sunroom, switching from one room to another just to not be in his presence for longer than she wanted. Yet, he managed to steal her away when his frustration boiled up enough. Y/N could’ve hinted how much she doesn’t want him to sleep next to her all she wants, he kept sneaking in and out every time. Yoongi was patient, determined even. Determined to make things right this time by giving her space. But the wrenching feeling of not having her close enough consumed him, night, day and moon.
Yoongi kept his promise, giving Y/N the space she needed while gradually attempting to rebuild the trust that had been shattered. He was careful with his words, patient in his actions, and ever attentive to her unspoken needs. The pair worked on their friendship these past weeks, he wanted himself to be her person. The person that she would love and lean on.
But the young Buin might seem calm now, from outside, but her wit remained under the surface. She buried herself deep within her psyche and doctor Kim could do very little to “repair” her. Not even renown specialists who came to give the young girl a helping hand did not succeed.
Yoongi watched her from a distance yet at the same time he was so close, his heart aching with the knowledge that he was partly to blame for her withdrawal. He had been too harsh, too controlling. Now, he was paying the price. He wanted nothing more than to hold her, to whisper apologies and promises into her ear. But every time he approached, he could see the fear and distrust in her eyes. It was a barrier he didn't know how to break.
Wang Xiaoqing’s wisdom was passed onto her, they whispered. But truth to be told, the elder woman, may she rest in peace, underestimated the new blood. The following legacy. Now, her kin suffers.
Yoongi wishes he never used the letter as leverage against her nor let her read it. At night he wonders whether that would change things. Whether by now she would be in love with him just as much he’s in love with her.
He sat down with the rest of his family at the dinner table after she broke down with yet another panic attack. The dining room was oppressively silent, the atmosphere thick with unspoken tension. It wasn’t even the end of January, and the snow was still prevailing outside. Yoongi sat at the head of the table, his expression a mask of stoic resolve, though his heart was anything but calm.
Y/N was conspicuously absent, her chair at the table glaringly empty. Yoongi's mind replayed the scene from earlier, the look of sheer panic in her eyes as she had crumbled under the weight of her emotions. He had wanted to reach out to her, to offer comfort, but he knew his presence would only worsen her distress.
Clearing his throat, Yoongi broke the silence, his voice strained but firm.
“I know you care about me. About this family—”
“I’ve made mistakes—mistakes that have pushed her to the edge.”
“No, Yoongi—” the right hand man straightened himself in his seat interrupting his leader.
Yoongi’s eyes flickered with a mixture of frustration and sorrow as he turned to face his right-hand man, Namjoon. The room held its breath, tension crackling in the air.
“Namjoon, please,” Yoongi said, his voice weary. “My wife slit her throat, stop justifying my actions.”
Namjoon hesitated but nodded, leaning back in his chair, his expression still troubled. Yoongi took a deep breath, steeling himself to continue.
"I pushed her too far, and now she's breaking—”
“Now, I don’t know what your intentions are with my wife, but I forbid you from whatever you are putting into her head.”
Namjoon's eyes widened in shock at Yoongi's words, his mouth opening and closing as if searching for the right response. The weight of Yoongi's accusation hung heavy in the air, and the room seemed to grow even quieter, the tension palpable.
Yoongi's jaw clenched, his frustration simmering beneath the surface. He had always trusted Namjoon implicitly, had relied on him as his closest confidant and advisor. But now, in the wake of Y/N's pain and suffering, he couldn't help but wonder if that trust had been misplaced.
“All of you.”
“Yoongi, I swear—” Namjoon began, his voice tinged with desperation. But Yoongi held up a hand, cutting him off.
“I don't want to hear it, Namjoon,” he said, his tone final.
“Whatever it is, I’m giving her the space to tell me herself.” Namjoon's gaze faltered under Yoongi's intense stare.
“I would never intentionally do anything to harm Y/N or come between you two. She's like family to me, too.” Yoongi's jaw clenched tighter, but he nodded curtly, acknowledging Namjoon's words.
“Seokjin.” He addressed the oldest man in the room.
“Yes, Yoongi?” Seokjin replied, his voice steady despite the gravity of the situation.
“She’s still taking those pills you gave her,” Seokjin's brow furrowed in concern at Yoongi's words. They were only a temporary solution before Seokjin decided that day to put her on barbiturates. She needs his help and if he cannot help her the way he knows it will be most effective, he’ll at least prescribe whatever will tone down her night terrors so she can sleep at nights.
"I'll talk to her," he said firmly. “But you know what would certainly help her—” Yoongi’s hand flew high to hit the table, making everybody twitch at the loud noise.
“No, Seokjin. No.” The family members exchanged solemn nods. Yoongi took a moment to compose himself, his chest heaving with pent-up frustration.
"She needs more support than we can provide on our own. We have to consider what's best for her.” Yoongi struggled to find the words to express his feelings. "I know, Seokjin," he replied, his voice thick with emotion. "But that is going way too far.”
Namjoon leaned forward, his expression earnest. The youngest at the end of the table cleared his throat. All eyes turned to him, waiting for his input. Jungkook hesitated for a moment, feeling the weight of the tension in the room, before speaking up.
“Maybe you just need to stop shielding her in. Let her live a life—” Jungkook's suggestion hung in the air, a fresh perspective on the situation that caused the family members to exchange thoughtful glances.
Yoongi's brow furrowed as he considered Jungkook's words, the idea of allowing Y/N more freedom conflicting with his instinct to protect her.
“But what if she runs for the hills, Kook.” Park Jimin’s voice echoed from across the room, his hands busy pouring the strong liquor to seven crystal glasses. Yoongi's gaze flickered towards Jimin, setting the first glass in front of him.
"I can't bear the thought of her running away from me again," Yoongi admitted, his voice heavy with emotion. Hoseok nodded in agreement, his expression sombre.
Jungkook nodded thoughtfully, understanding Yoongi's apprehension. "I get where you're coming from, hyung,—” Jimin set down the last glass of liquor, his expression sympathetic.
“I’d say, nonetheless, she needs something to occupy her mind other than those thoughts.” Said Jimin sitting down on his chair while nursing his own glass of the booze.
"Maybe if we can find something that brings her joy, something to distract her—” Seokjin nodded in agreement, his expression thoughtful.
“She studied, tasted her own freedom and now all she’s left with is being your wife.” Yoongi's heart clenched at Jimin's words, a pang of guilt washing over him. But still a large part of him was thinking why it is not enough.
“She can work with me once she’s better.” The doctor interjected. Yoongi's gaze shifted towards Seokjin, a flicker of hope igniting within him at the suggestion.
"You think she'd be up for it?" Yoongi asked, his voice tentative yet hopeful.
“Ah hyung you’re so in the dark—” Jungkook remarked. Jungkook sighed, his gaze meeting Yoongi's with empathy.
“She needs to feel like she has a say in her own life, like she's not just living for someone else.” Where this newfound wisdom arose, Yoongi did not know. But he was glad for the support of his family men.
Hoseok placed a reassuring hand on Yoongi's shoulder, his expression filled with empathy.
“She knows so much about herbs, remedies, I think she’ll be happy to help Seokjin.” Yoongi's heart swelled with gratitude for Hoseok's insight. He hadn't fully realised the extent of Y/N's knowledge and interests outside of their marriage and that needed to change.
“Don’t tell her just yet.” The right hand man remarked.
“Yes, I want to give her more time to recover before we come back to the sanctuary.” The other family members murmured their agreement, a sense of solidarity and understanding settling over them. After all, at the end of the day it is a happy wife, happy life.
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But months later, Y/N understood that if there’s even a slight possibility that the scarred leader will grow for better, it would be a painfully long process. She realised so once he returned with his knuckles all bruised and bloodied one night. She tended to them, and he was basking under her touch. Despite everything, she couldn’t ignore the humanity in his pain.
Her eyes rolled and a loud sigh followed when she understood what was the cause of his lapse of senses. He had let his frustration and anger take over him, but rather than put it out on everyone else like he was known for, he silently left his office to vent his anger elsewhere. She guided him to sit down after she asked the maid to bring her everything she needed to clean his wounds.
Yoongi watched her, his eyes filled with a mix of gratitude and excitement under her delicate touch. The feel of her hands, so careful and tender, was both a comfort and a torment. The imagery masking all the darkness that loomed over them, they would fool even the Lord himself that this couple is one of love.
They sat in silence, the only sound the soft rustle of bandages and the distant rumble of thunder outside. Yoongi closed his eyes, leaning into her touch. It was a small gesture, but it spoke volumes to him. She avoided him less and less. So why did he have to let his steam off so suddenly?
“You know—” she began, focusing on his other hand now.
“You’re not really setting a good example of “communication is the key ”, now do you?”
Yoongi's eyes flickered open at her words, a hint of guilt flashing across his features before he quickly masked it with a neutral expression. He couldn't deny the truth in her statement, nor could he easily articulate the tangled mess of emotions that swirled within him.
His mind drifted back to the hushed whispers, the concerned looks from Seokjin. Y/N was still fairly weak in terms of her health. Yet, he hoped that maybe, just maybe, she’ll come to tell him he’s going to be a father. Foolish of him, he knows. Selfish of him, he knows that too.
“I’m sorry, Dove.” He only muttered, forcing a kiss to her sphenoid bone, it was the only affection she rarely allowed him to show. Y/N knew that if she wanted to persuade him that she isn’t a flying risk, she’ll have to allow him to do more. She progressed slowly, with patience and space to breathe everything out.
The reason the young leader needed to vent his anger was obvious to Y/N. She heard the maid that so blatantly spied on everything she did, what she asked for, and whom she talks to on the telephone. Y/N was cautious, yet today, she had to ask for some feminine goods. She understood where his hope for a baby came from, he got himself to believe that once the monthly bleeding did not come the first, second nor the third month.
The young gal, however, knew that this has nothing to do with the possibility of her being pregnant. She still drank the remedy, just to be sure, and for her peace of mind as it bore too many demons already. The fourth month her body decided it’s time to function again and of course the devoted maid reported that right back to her husband whose hope for a child vanished.
“I was hoping we could go see Ma and little Bo Cheng before the wedding, I promised to teach him how to ride a ho—” she began her request carefully. Y/N had managed to negotiate Daiyu’s extended vacation in America with her young son and Kai, yet she couldn’t shake the strong feeling that Yoongi had only allowed such a thing to happen because he felt indebted to her at the moment. Her state was far more delicate than he thought and he desperately wanted to make her happy. The one thing she wanted the most, he couldn’t grant. Freedom.
“Would that make you happy?” Yoongi interrupted. He sighed, his eyes drifting to the window where dark clouds gathered on the horizon.
For the first time in what felt like an eternity, a small, hesitant smile tugged at Y/N’s lips. It was a fragile thing, easily shattered, but it was real. And in that moment, Yoongi vowed to himself that he would protect that smile, nurture it, and help it grow.
“Yes, it would. Maybe we could also pay a visit to Daiyu—” Y/N sucked her lips in and shyly smiled again. Yoongi nodded slowly. He sighed, leaning back in his chair, his fingers drumming against the armrests. The weight of their precarious situation pressed down on him, the knowledge that every decision could have far-reaching consequences hanging over them like a dark cloud.
“I’m not sure about that, sweetling,” he replied, his voice tinged with uncertainty. Her heart clenched, did he understand her intentions?
“You said you’ll give me the world, Yoongi. Why not this?” Y/N’s smile faltered, a flicker of disappointment crossing her features.
Yoongi’s gaze softened further, a mixture of regret and longing in his eyes. He reached out, taking her hand in his, his touch gentle and reassuring.
“I will consider this trip, but we have to be cautious now. War is looming on the horizon.” He explained, his tone serious.
“What do you mean war? You’ve just won one,” she challenged, her voice laced with disbelief.
“The world is a volatile place, Dove. Our battle was nothing in comparison to what is to come. The world will fight—” Yoongi’s expression darkened, the weight of their past victories suddenly overshadowed by the looming threat of conflict. Y/N’s heart sank at the mention of war, a cold knot forming in the pit of her stomach.
“Until we’re certain there’s no threat, I want us to remain in Korea, my love.” he declared, his final words.
Y/N’s heart sank at his words, but she forced herself to nod, understanding the gravity of their situation. The war threatened to consume them all, and they had to tread carefully if they were to survive. Y/N nodded slowly to his words.
“She wrote to you this morning, didn’t she?” Y/N couldn’t shake the feeling that she’s running out of time. If they were caught up in the chaos, she feared she may never leave this place. And with Yoongi’s resolve to remain in Korea, their window of opportunity grew smaller with each passing moment. It was worth the shot, he wouldn’t let her slip that easily if there’s an actual threat that the world’s will battle.
“She met someone,” Y/N added softly, her voice tinged with uncertainty of how Yoongi will react. He, however, already knew. There was nothing that would go past him or so he thought.
"She met someone?" he repeated, his voice tinged with false scepticism. Y/N's heart ached at the doubt in Yoongi's voice, but she held firm in her conviction.
“She’s a widow with a child, who—”
“Happy widow with a child—” she inserted herself into his remark. "She deserves it, Yoongi. After everything she's been through, she deserves a chance at love and happiness.”
“Daiyu is no longer tied to the syndicate. You promised not to meddle with her affairs unless she needs help.” She reminded him less gently, her voice tinged with a hint of caution.
“I intend to keep that promise.” Lie. He already knew the man who so openly started to court her. A sense of relief washed over Y/N as she watched Yoongi's resistance soften, even if it was pretended.
“The rain won’t stop pouring—” Y/N’s voice trailed off, a sombre note creeping into her tone as she glanced out the window at the stormy sky.
“How do you feel today?” Yoongi observed Y/N for a moment, his expression softening as he took in her weary demeanour.
“Better than yesterday.” She replied, her voice carrying a hint of resilience. Yoongi nodded, a sense of relief washing over him at her response. Despite the challenges they faced, he was grateful for every moment of peace they could find amidst the storm.
He noticed the subtle signs of improvement in her appearance. Her cheeks, once sunken and lifeless, now held a hint of colour, and the dark circles under her eyes seemed less pronounced. Her eyes sparkled differently, not with tears as of late. Whatever Seokjin is doing to help her, it is working.
“Have you slept well?” he inquired gently, his voice filled with genuine concern. From Monday to Friday, storms reigned over the hidden valley. Yoongi reached out, gently brushing a stray strand of hair away from her face, his touch tender and reassuring. Her dark hair grew enough to reach past her shoulders since the unfortunate event back in October.
“It wasn't the best, but it was better than before.” Yoongi nodded in understanding, his gaze lingering on her with a mixture of admiration and concern. He knew that even the smallest victories, like a few hours of sleep, were worth celebrating in their tumultuous world. After all the night terrors she endured for months.
“How’s working with Seokjin?” He knew how demanding their roles could be, especially in the midst of ongoing turmoil. Yoongi expected her to sigh just as softly as she always does, her expression to reflect the weight of responsibility, but none of that happened. Y/N smiled at him brightly instead.
Y/N's smile was like a ray of sunlight breaking through the clouds, momentarily dispelling the shadows that lingered around them.
“Work has been great. I've been able to help so many people—” she replied, her voice infused with a sense of optimism that Yoongi hadn't heard in a while. As she spoke, Y/N’s eyes lit up with enthusiasm, a stark contrast to the weariness that had plagued her in recent months.
“Did you know that punk, Jungkook, pretends to be sick every other day just to swing by?” Y/N’s voice was filled with amusement as she recounted the antics of the youngest of the seven. Though older than her, she did not feel any age difference between them two.
Yoongi couldn’t help but chuckle at the mention of Jungkook's antics.
"That sounds like him," he remarked, a fond smile playing at his lips. She continued, her words flowing freely as she recounted her experiences while working with Seokjin at the clinic.
“Seokjin has been a wonderful mentor,” she continued, her eyes shining with gratitude. “He’s taught me so much more than we actually studied at school—” Yoongi nodded in agreement, a sense of pride swelling within him as he listened to Y/N's tales of their work at the clinic.
“I remember this one young man who had sustained severe burns on his arms. The sight of his injuries was heart-breaking, but I could see the determination in his eyes to overcome the pain.” Y/N’s voice softened with emotion as she recalled the moment.
"We worked tirelessly to stabilise him, and when he finally regained consciousness, the look of gratitude in his eyes made all the long hours and hard work worth it. It was a reminder of why I wanted to be a nurse in the first place—to make a difference in people’s lives, no matter how small.”
Yoongi listened intently, his heart swelling with a mixture of emotions. He couldn’t help but feel a pang of regret for not allowing her to pursue her passion for nursing earlier.
He may not be able to undo the past, but he could certainly make sure that she had all the support she needed to thrive in the future. The youngest was right. She needed this, she needed to regain her purpose in her life. To be someone for herself.
He realised how much he had underestimated her need for work, how vital it was for her to have a sense of purpose and fulfilment. There was still hope and goodness.
Yoongi listened to all the stories she had to say as for the first time since forever, there were no tears, no screams, no tension in the air. Just the calm, steady rhythm of their shared breaths.
“You know,” Yoongi began, his voice soft, "I'm proud of you. Proud of everything you've accomplished and the progress you’re making. I should have let you do this sooner.”
“Can’t change the past now can we?” He nodded to her remark solemnly, squeezing her hand.
“Tell me more,—” he urged, eager to hear more about her work, her passion. He wanted to be part of her world just like she is part of his, to support her in every way possible.
Y/N smiled, her face glowing with happiness. “Well, there’s this little girl named Jang-mi. She’s been coming in for treatment regularly, and despite everything, she's always so cheerful—”
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Y/N pulled her coat tighter around her, feeling the icy water seep through the fabric. Her breath came in shallow gasps, mixing with the cold air to form small clouds that dissipated as quickly as they appeared. She huddled beneath the overhang of a small alley, her body shivering uncontrollably. The once comforting weight of her coat now felt like a burden, soaked and heavy.
Her mind raced, a chaotic swirl of fear and desperation. The past few days had been a whirlwind of terror and confusion. She had trusted the wrong people, made alliances that crumbled under the weight of deceit. Every step she took seemed to lead her deeper into a labyrinth of danger and uncertainty. She couldn’t afford another mistake; the stakes were too high. The sound of her own heartbeat was loud in her ears, a constant reminder of the life-or-death game she was playing.
A sudden flash of lightning split the sky, casting stark shadows and illuminating the alley in a harsh, white light. For a brief moment, everything was clear and sharp, every detail etched into her memory. That’s when she saw him.
At the mouth of the alley is where he stood , his figure backlit by the brilliant light. He was drenched, his hair plastered to his forehead, but he seemed unfazed by the torrential rain. His presence was as menacing as ever, a dark silhouette against the night. His eyes, however, were what held her captive. They were dark, deep pools of unreadable emotion, reflecting the storm’s fury.
Yoongi didn’t move, didn’t speak. He simply watched her, his gaze intense and unwavering. It was a look she had seen before, one that sent chills down her spine. It was the look of a predator sizing up its prey. She knew then, with a sickening certainty, that no matter how far she ran, he would always be one step ahead.
Panic surged through her, threatening to overwhelm her senses. She pressed herself against the wall, the rough brick scraping her skin through the thin material of her coat. She needed to think, to find a way out, but her mind was a blur of fear and fatigue. The rain continued to pour, the cold seeping into her bones, making her limbs feel heavy and uncooperative.
Yoongi took a step forward, the movement slow and deliberate. His boots splashed in the puddles, the sound muffled by the storm. Y/N’s heart pounded in her chest, a wild, frantic rhythm. She felt like a trapped animal, cornered with no way out. The alley was a dead end, and Yoongi was blocking her only escape route.
“Y/N,” he said, his voice low and smooth, cutting through the noise of the storm. “You can’t keep running.”
His words were a cold, hard truth that she didn’t want to accept. But she had no choice. Every attempt to escape had led her right back to him, like a cruel game of cat and mouse. She swallowed hard, her throat dry despite the rain. She had to keep fighting, had to find a way to break free from his grip.
“I won’t let you control me,” she said, her voice shaking but determined. “I’ll find a way out.”
Yoongi’s expression didn’t change, but there was a flicker of something in his eyes—amusement, perhaps, or admiration for her defiance. “You’re stronger than I thought,” he said, taking another step closer. “But strength alone won’t save you.”
He was close now, close enough that she could see the droplets of rain clinging to his eyelashes, the way his clothes clung to his body. His presence was overwhelming, a dark force that seemed to consume all the light around him. She knew she had to act, had to do something before it was too late.
Summoning every ounce of courage, Y/N pushed off the wall and lunged towards him, hoping to catch him off guard. But Yoongi was ready. His hand shot out, grabbing her wrist with a grip like iron. She struggled, twisting and pulling, but he was too strong.
“Let me fucking go!” she cried, her voice breaking with desperation.
Yoongi pulled her closer, his other hand coming up to cup her chin, forcing her to meet his gaze. “You’re mine, Y/N,” he said softly, his breath warm against her skin. “And I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you safe. Even if it means protecting you from yourself.”
Tears mingled with the rain on her cheeks as she realised the futility of her struggle. Yoongi’s words were a chilling promise, one that she knew he would keep. She was trapped, caught in a web of his making, with no way out.
The storm raged on around them, but in that moment, all Y/N could feel was the cold, unyielding grip of the man she used to fear, and the inescapable reality of her situation.
Y/N woke with a start, her breath coming in ragged gasps as the remnants of the nightmare clung to her mind. Her body was drenched in cold sweat, and her heart pounded wildly in her chest. For a moment, she couldn’t discern reality from the dream, the vivid images of the rain-soaked alley and Yoongi’s menacing presence still haunting her.
It was a memory that was hidden in the back of her mind to resurface when she’s the most vulnerable. It had happened a few times already, her mind showing her each time she attempted to escape the scarred leader.
She took a deep breath and listened to the mix of crackling fireplace and raindrops outside. His eyes were on her petite physique, his hands holding a book he was reading while she took a well deserved afternoon nap. He put down his reading glasses and ran a hand through his hair, closing the book and turning her attention to her.
“Which one was it this time?”
She turned to see him sitting beside her, his eyes filled with worry. The contrast between the Yoongi in her nightmare and the one before her now was stark. Gone was the cold, calculating predator; in his place was a man who genuinely cared for her well-being. He did change a little. Or maybe he was like that before but his selfishness didn’t allow him to show her his bright side.
Her legs moved to his lap when she was asleep, and he gently rubbed circles into her ankles, his touch soothing for once.
“Will you keep me safe?”
Yoongi's expression softened further, his gaze unwavering as he looked into her eyes. He knows that there were moments that haunt her till now. Moments he let happen with his cockiness.
“Always,” he replied, his voice steady and filled with conviction. “I’ll keep you safe, no matter what.”
“I just... I don’t want to be afraid anymore,” she admitted, her voice breaking slightly.
“Just rest, Dove,” Yoongi murmured, his voice a soothing balm to her frayed nerves. “I’ll be right here.”
After a few silent minutes, Y/N broke the calm silence.
“Can we play the piano?”
He hesitated for a moment, then nodded. Together, they moved to the old piano in the corner of the room. As they sat side by side, their fingers tentatively began to touch the keys. Each note was a delicate thread, weaving together a tapestry of their unspoken emotions. The music became their secret language, a way to say everything they couldn’t put into words.
Every time she did not feel like speaking herself, they played. Until she felt better. Yoongi played with a gentle intensity, his fingers dancing over the keys with practised ease.
He was a better player, so she thought. Afterall, he had had more life to practice.
The medication made her more open to him. Sooner or later she’ll have to get off of it before it will become her only source of happiness. There were days it made her sleep well, drink, eat, breathe and live like the person she used to be. And there were days she sat in front of her vanity mirror knowing this effect is only temporary.
She cannot afford to get off of them while she’s remaining by his side. Her being would not take it and the prospect of freedom would be scarce. It blunted negative emotions which worked in the scarred boy’s favour.
It was working, but it was a question of time when she’ll develop tolerance and they won’t work anymore. That’s why Seokjin is desperately trying to convince Yoongi that he’ll have a way to help her. Permanently.
Yoongi knows that it would be just another mistake he would have to write under his name.
“I’ll always keep you safe,” he whispered again, his words a promise and a plea. And in the quiet aftermath of their duet, she almost believed him.
In that fleeting moment, she wasn’t running, and Yoongi wasn’t chasing. They were simply two souls, lost in the music, trying to find their way back to each other. One more than the other.
His hand moved to cover hers on the keys, their eyes meeting in the stillness that followed. The world outside ceased to exist, the rain and the fire a distant backdrop to the intensity of their shared gaze.
Slowly, almost imperceptibly, Yoongi leaned in, his breath mingling with hers. Her heart raced, not with fear, but with a different kind of anticipation.
Their faces were inches apart, the unspoken words hanging in the air between them. His eyes flickered to her lips, then back to her eyes, seeking permission, seeking assurance. Y/N’s breath hitched, her mind a whirlwind of emotions.
“Unnie?!” Xiaoli's voice rang out, bright and oblivious. “We need to talk about—”
“Can you keep me safe from my own sister?” She scoffed playfully. His chuckle bounced on her lips as his lips still hovered just a breath away from hers, the paper door swung open with a sudden, sharp creak.
Taehyung stepped in behind her, his eyes widening as he took in the scene. "Oh. We’re... interrupting, aren’t we?”
Yoongi pulled back slightly, his expression darkening as he turned to face them. Y/N felt the moment slipping away, the fragile connection disrupted.
“What is it?” Yoongi asked, his voice strained with barely concealed irritation.
“You invited us to have dinner, Hyung.” Taehyung reminded him, his tone a mix of apology and amusement.
Xiaoli’s eyes darted between Yoongi and Y/N, realisation dawning on her face. “Oh... we’re really sorry. I didn’t mean to barge in, Kkangpae Min.”
She apologised, still not her but always to him and him only. Y/N forced herself to smile. The woman that her sister became is not the same one she grew up with.
“There was nothing to interrupt, don’t worry,” she waved it off and Yoongi sighed, the tension in his shoulders evident.
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The fleeting moment of intimacy with Y/N hung heavily in his mind. Before, during and after the dinner. He was extravagantly close to feel her lips on his again, just for the moment to be swept away.
Dinner was a mix of awkward silences and forced conversation. Xiaoli and Taehyung tried to lighten the mood, but the air was thick with unspoken words.
Yoongi, for his part, seemed distant, his mind clearly elsewhere. Every so often, his gaze would meet hers across the table.
“Will you come next week?” Xiaoli asked, sipping her wine.
Y/N, momentarily distracted from her thoughts, looked up.
“Next week?”
Y/N glanced at Yoongi, who was already looking at her. She hesitated, unsure of committing to anything he did not allow earlier.
“Yes, Y/N promised Bo Cheng to teach him how to ride a horse, and I have some business to attend to.” Yoongi cleared his throat, breaking the silence.
“I could teach him,” Said Xiaoli, a bit jealous that their brother wanted Y/N to teach him when she was right there in the hotel.
Once Xiaoli and Taehyung will be with each other for eternity, the family of three then, will take their leave back to China.
The Triad leader attended his own business trips while his wife and children stayed with the “allying” clan.
He doesn’t know. None of them knows what Y/N did to herself, apart from Xiaoli, who herself doesn’t know every detail. They spreaded white lies to cover this “lapse of senses”. A misstep. Y/N hides the fading scar carefully to avoid any explanation. She wished to not tell them, and the kkangpae did not object to her wishes anymore. Whatever she wants, she gets. Usually, most of the time if she’s reasonable and clever about it.
The past months painstakingly helped them to get better. Or so Yoongi thought. Her priority was never to be his good wife, her priority is him thinking she will be his good obedient loving wife and when he won’t expect her to seek freedom anymore — she’ll disappear.
“I don't know about that, honey. You remember that nasty fall you took last year?” Her husband-to-be said nonchalantly. Y/N furrowed her brows in confusion.
“Fall?—“ she asked, doubting his words.
“What are you talking about?” Xiaoli herself was surprised at his words. She did not recall any falls. Y/N knew Xiaoli isn’t the best rider, but she was decent enough to hold any situation that would make her fall from the horse under control.
“I don’t remember that,—” she said, taking another long sip from her glass.
“You’d certainly remember falling from a horse. Why don’t I know about this, Yoongi?” Said Y/N turning herself to the quiet man.
“I was having a hard time keeping you here as you loved to go for a run back then. It must have slipped my mind—“
“My sister falling from a horse slipped your mind?”
“He did not know Y/N, until a lot later. Right, Hyung?” Taehyung smiled sweetly at her, defending his Kkangpae. As always. Y/N clicked her tongue and gifted Yoongi with a penetrating stare creating another layer of tension in the room.
He shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He cleared his throat, attempting to gather his thoughts. The last thing he wants is to mess up their relationship again.
“You’re right, love. I should have told you once I got to know that,” Yoongi admitting guilt is a new trait he acquired these past months.
“How did she fall?” Y/N aimed her question at Taehyung as her sister clearly doesn't remember it.
“It wasn’t probably that bad if I don’t remember it, Unnie. Don’t worry about it anymore—“ the younger female answered before her fiance had the chance to do so.
Y/N sighed loudly but the hand under the table that was gripping her younger sister’s thigh was not seen by her eyes.
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It was hard to keep focus, especially with Seokjin constantly needing her assistance at work. His stern demeanour and meticulous nature kept her on her toes, but she appreciated the distraction. She knew why she was at his beck and call. Yoongi demanded so. Under any circumstances she ought to be next to Seokjin.
The ambulance in the sanctuary was significantly smaller than the big sanitorium in the town, but there was still some work to do here too.
“What’s on your mind?” he asked, leaning back in his chair and studying her intently.
“The usual,” she murmured, filling today’s report. Seokjin watched her for a moment, then brought the courage to ask.
“Have you been intimate?” Y/N dropped the pen at once and with wide eyes. She stared at him. The question came out of nowhere nor was it called for.
“Wh-what do you mean intimate?”
“Exactly what I said,” he replied calmly, not breaking eye contact.
“Have you been intimate with Yoongi again?”
“I don’t see how this is your business, Seokjin.” She felt her face flush with heat, a mix of embarrassment and anger.
“I’m not trying to pry. I’m your friend, but I’m also your doctor, sweetling—,” he said softly.
“Your health and well-being are my concern,” Seokjin explained. “And you know that if something’s affecting you emotionally or physically, it could impact your health.”
Bullcrap, he is in fact prying.
She was silent for a minute, trying to comprehend how he is taking care of her being this late. If she wouldn’t attempt to kill herself, these concerns wouldn’t be as great. But Y/N cannot afford to break havoc. She can’t go on rampage as she wants every single person here to think that she is moving towards being a good obedient wife of the Kkangpae. Even though she wants to scream to each and one of their faces about how much they failed her. How much they hurt her. Yet, patience is the key. Breathe, sleep, eat, endure.
She shifted uncomfortably in her seat, then decided to change the topic.
“What about your wife?” Seokjin’s eyes flickered with surprise before he masked it with a neutral expression. Y/N barely knew the woman. Matter of fact she has seen her maybe three times since the wedding.
“Very much pregnant,” he said, his voice a mix of pride and weariness.
“Oh,” Y/N replied, taken aback. “I didn’t know. Congratulations, I guess.” Here comes another thing that Yoongi managed to keep from her.
“Thank you, my dear,” Seokjin said, a small smile touching his lips. “It’s been… an interesting journey, to say the least.”
“I can imagine,—” Y/N said, sensing there was more beneath the surface.
“Can you imagine yourself on that journey?” Seokjin interrupted, his gaze searching her face.
She pretended that the question took her by surprise, looking down at her hands to not give herself away.
“I don’t know,” she admitted softly. He is testing her. “It’s hard to think about that kind of future with everything that’s going on.”
Seokjin nodded, his expression thoughtful. “It’s understandable. But it’s something to consider. Maybe a baby would help you to shush your demons away.”
Y/N’s heart raced at the suggestion, and she forced herself to maintain her composure. “I… I don’t think a baby is the answer, Seokjin. There’s so much I need to sort out first.”
“Sometimes, having something to focus on, something to live for, can make all the difference,” Seokjin said gently.
She nodded, still feeling uneasy about the direction of the conversation. Opting not to give more than she would want to by not answering his remark and going back to finish the report.
“Just know that you have options. And that you don’t have to go through any of this alone.”
“Thanks,” she replied, offering a small smile. “I’ll keep that in mind.” Of course she won’t.
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Y/N entered the dimly lit room where Yoongi was sitting, his face illuminated by the soft glow of a lamp. He looked up as she closed the door behind her, his expression softened once he looked up from the papers. The office in the sanctuary remained the same apart from the fact that now the young Kkangpae occupies it far more often than before.
He took his glasses off and pushed himself away from the desk creating a space for her to come and stand in front of him, leaning against the massive wooden desk. Her hands felt the warmth of the wood that had been heated by the lamp, reflecting the same heat that radiated between them.
“Did you ask Seokjin to put thoughts into my head?” she asked, her voice steady despite the turmoil inside her.
Yoongi sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I didn’t ask him to, but I knew he would at some point try to give you some wisdom. What did he say?”
“That a baby would be the right treatment for me,” she replied, her voice tight with frustration.
Yoongi’s eyes widened slightly, then he closed them and exhaled deeply.
“I’m sorry, Dove—“
“Do you think that too?” she asked, searching his face. “That a baby would magically fix everything?”
Yoongi shook his head, stepping up from his chair and closer to her. “No, I don’t. A baby isn’t a solution to our problems—“ she didn’t believe one word that was coming out of this mouth. He wouldn’t break his knuckles this hard if he didn’t want the baby that Y/N took care of not happening anytime soon. Her system was full of herbal remedies. And now that she knows, the herbs flowing in her system are working, she can use that to her advantage.
“But that would make you happy right?” She countered, seeing through him. Softening her mimics to appeal to him.
“Well, yeah, I want a family with you someday—“
“Someday? The bandages on your knuckles says that you’re pretty eager to have it now—” she scoffed and murmured under her nose.
Yoongi’s eyes for once reflected something she couldn’t quite recognise. There was a mix of desperation and longing that flickered there. His hand reached out, trembling slightly, and cupped her cheek gently.
“Dove, I want us to be happy, truly happy. But I know bringing a child into this world won’t erase your pain or solve our problems. We need to fix ourselves first—” His thumb brushed her cheek tenderly.
“I’m sorry for being selfish, my love,” she felt a tear escape her eye, rolling down to where his thumb could catch it. She closed her eyes for a moment, leaning into his touch because that’s what always softens his edges.
After months, she has learnt what strings to pull to make him move just the way she wants to. Yet, Y/N knows that he isn’t that stupid to believe she suddenly wants to live with him happily ever after.
“I can pour us some wine. We can play the piano after dinner, hm?” He could feel her vulnerability, her heart laid bare before him. Or so he thought as she wanted him to think that. His hand continued to caress her cheek softly, his touch gentle yet laden with unspoken longing she sensed each time he attempted to get closer to her.
She nodded, a small pretentious smile playing on her lips as she stepped closer to him. The tension between them lingered.
He pulled her closer, his lips brushing against her forehead. “We will be good. We just need time with each other.”
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He sat first, patting the space beside him, inviting her to join. Her fingers brushed the keys, eliciting a soft, mournful note. A melody that echoed in her mind far too often. An anthem for hurting. Weeping symphony, tears of sorrow.
He became far too respectful towards her boundaries which essentially was ruining all of her plans. Her fingers pressed the keys with delicate touch even when she wanted to smash them rock hard.
“Why this song?” She let the question hang in the air for a moment, her fingers poised above the keys as if weighing his words.
“Do you know what they interpret it as?” She finally said, her voice soft, barely audible above the lingering notes. Her eyes, once masked with a facade of calm, now revealed a flicker of the anguish she carried.
“Tell me,” he flipped the page of the notes book for her to continue the song.
“It’s a tale of unspoken grief, of wounds too deep to heal and shadows that never leave.”
He felt a shiver run down his spine as she said that. Part of him understood what message she was trying to leave and part of him wished he’s wrong.
“I view it as love lost and dreams shattered. They say it’s a lament for those who wander through life carrying burdens no one else can see.”
He carefully listened to all her words, all the notes she played, all her feelings she shared. Her fingers moved over the keys, each note a whisper of sorrow.
“The scars I carry inside,—“ His hand reached out to touch hers, a gesture of comfort. Stopping her from playing more.
“Let me help you carry that weight—“
“You created it in the first place.”
His eyes widened, a mixture of guilt and realisation flooding his expression. She pulled her hand away.
“The scars I carry, the emptiness I feel, they all trace back to you.”
His mind raced to comprehend the depth of her pain, trying to understand her intentions. It’s not like he ever expected her to say it out loud.
“You created emptiness in me Yoongi—“
He felt his heart clench with guilt and regret. “I’m so sorry,” he said, his voice cracking. It was nothing new. She heard his apologies but she was yet to accept them
She turned back to the piano, her fingers resting on the keys but not playing. “Intentions don’t change the past,” she said softly. “The pain remains—“
“But the future can learn from mistakes.”
“I will. I’ll learn—“ He began before she interrupted him.
“You need to fill the space now.” His eyes lit up listening to her words. In his mind, this was it. The holy grail. In her mind, she was wrapping him around her finger before she would bounce away like a pebble on the pond.
“Heal me if you must.”
These were her last words before the distance between them shrank, the intensity of their emotions drawing them closer. He leaned in, his heart pounding in his chest that she could almost hear it but Y/N didn’t pull away.
Their lips met in a soft, tentative kiss, a delicate brush that spoke of apology, of yearning, and of promises yet to be fulfilled. Her heart cried and the song remained echoing in her mind.
As they pulled back slightly, their foreheads resting against each other, Yoongi felt a warmth spread through him, chasing away the cold shadows of regret. She looked at him, her eyes shining with unshed tears. His thoughts were swirling with one thing only — this was the real beginning of them. And it was the beginning.
The beginning of the end.
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I N T E R L O G U E
The walls were lined with bookshelves, each shelf overflowing with dusty tomes and old papers. A large, ornate desk stood in the centre, its surface cluttered with stacks of documents.
Seokjin rarely sends her to this room as they also rarely stay in the hanok the sanctuary has for medical assistance to those who live here.
She approached slowly, her fingers brushing over the worn leather of a chair before settling on a stack of yellowed files that he asked to bring. It was then when her eyes caught the opened crimson red files that laid flat open on the desk. The ones that the doctor forgot to take with him the other time he had to run and tend to the lady of the house in the middle of the night. They stayed there, laid open, for several weeks. Touched by a thin layer of dust on top of it.
Kim Seokjin is renowned in his field of practice. Yet, this was going to be his great mistake. Inside, there were detailed medical records, notes written in a precise, almost mechanical hand. The words on the pages made her stomach churn—phrases like “prefrontal lobotomy,” “behavioural correction,” and “psychosurgical intervention” leapt out at her. She read on, horrified by the cold, clinical descriptions of procedures that seemed more like torture than treatment.
Her hand flew to her mouth to not let the wailing cry away.
Trembling, she pushed the file aside and reached for the next one. Not bearing what they’ve done to her sister. Y/N’s hands shook as she read through the files, each word a dagger to her heart. The clinical detachment with which the procedures were described made her feel sick. These were not just medical records—they were accounts of inhuman experiments carried out in the name of science, or more so — control.
The name on this file was all too familiar, it was Jin’s wife. He must have done it before the wedding as she seemed far too calm. Her heart pounded in her chest as she opened it, fearing what she might find. The contents were similar—detailed accounts of medical procedures, records of a lobotomy performed in a desperate attempt to “cure” her of what the notes described as “hysteria” and “unmanageable behaviour.”
Y/N felt a wave of nausea wash over her. She stumbled back from the desk, her mind reeling from the revelations. The room seemed to close in around her, the shadows deepening as the weight of what she had discovered settled on her shoulders.
The name on the empty file under those made her anxious, hysteric even more as the tag had Min Y/N written on it.
She wiped her tears but they couldn't stop falling.
“Y/N?”
.
.
.
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©pennyellee. please do not repost
Love you all!! ♥
Don't be a silent reader, comment, re-blog, heart, asks are more than welcome ♥
keep in mind - I'm not an expert on chinese, korean and japanese culture, but I tried to research everything realistic I wanted to add to the story. Nonetheless, take it as a fiction. Nor in this case, I'm a medical professional.
let's be friends chummers 🫧♡ ︎
lots of love, p.
tag list: @beautifulcloudfestival - @honsoolgloss - @jingerbreadoutofstock - @moscow778 - @januara26 - @dinosolecito - @yoongislatinagff - @xyahrinx - @hi12345567 - @nochuel - @deltamoon666 - @bbkissme99 - @darkuni63 - @nansasa - @sazsazsaz - @missmin - @strxwbloody - @royallyjjk - @jaiuneamesolitaiire - @shadowyjellyfishfest - @bbgniecyy - @elayne321 - @seojunandsoju - @bun-27 - @whipwhoops - @wobblewobble822 - @whofan88 - @haneyyyyyy - @lostgirlinthewoodss - @secfir - @btspurplesky - @elleflying07 - @pamzn - @megseungmin - @selenophileforlife - @idkjustlovingbts - @seonghwaexile - @catlove83
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foodiegoogie · 4 months ago
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sweet night
james potter x gn!reader ✮ 1.5k summary: you teach james how to play guitar, but he learns something else entirely. cw/tags: no use of y/n, just fluff rly <3 also veeerryy lightly proofread + edited so rip. title is taken from the song, 'sweet night' by v of bts <3 (just the vibes, the oneshot's not rly based on it)
note: was cleaning up my drafts, and found this all dusty and worn :P i wrote this longggg long ago so plz excuse the cheesiness hahaha,, also this was totally NOT self-indulgent (what i wouldnt give to woo james with a guitar... sighs)
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( ♡ )
Guitar, the stars, and James Potter.
Two things you cherished the most, and one person you cherished, and more. 
Sitting on the rooftop of your house, under the star-filled sky, you were currently teaching James how to play a certain song on guitar. He’d enlisted you to teach him under the impression that he was gonna use it to impress Lily Evans, and if he was feeling particularly brave – maybe even serenade her into finally becoming his girlfriend. 
It was a hard pill to swallow for you, of course, what with the feelings you’ve acquired for him over the years you’ve been friends with James. He was easy to love, and everybody knew that despite his tendency to cause trouble more often than not. Most especially, you—for loving James felt just as natural and innate as how breathing works for us, human beings; it comes with ease, and with no use for great effort to do so. 
But alas, you’re committed to being his best friend first, above all else. Unrequited feelings be damned. 
"No, James- it's C." You remarked with your face buried in your hands, making your voice sound muffled beneath them.
James groans, and throws his head back in theatrical fashion. "Why can't I get it right?" He complains, irritation laced in his voice. His eyebrows knit in frustration as he attempted to try and get the chord right again for another time. 
"Now, now, James,” You clap your hands a few times to grab his attention. “Let’s turn that frown upside down, yeah?" You try to comfort him with a smile of your own, tilting your head slightly as you regard him.
James continues to frown despite your efforts, but there’s a hint of amusement dancing in his eyes, along with something else you can’t quite place. He looks at you like he’s waiting for you to say something (or do something) else about his petulant behavior. 
You sigh in exasperation, shaking your head, “Here, let me help you with that.” 
You reach over with your hands to literally pull his cheeks upward, forcing him to smile. Instead, the boy whines and tries to swat your hands away from his face, then he erupts into a fit of laughter.
James makes a strangled sort of noise, “Okay! Stop, stop!" He struggled to speak as you still had your hands on his face and he couldn't stop laughing. You were laughing along with him too, and it was music to his ears. 
(Music, the stars, and you.)
(Two things James was interested in, and someone he was more than interested in.) 
You finally pull away from his cheeks, watching them go red where you'd pinched them a little too hard. You continue to laugh as James did himself, although he was making failed attempts at making himself stop laughing, trying to school his expression into a neutral one. 
"Okay, okay, I think I'm done," James heaves as he tries to catch his breath, clutching his chest with his hand. "Let's get this over with, please."
You stifle a chuckle, afraid that you would both start another riot of uncontrollable laughter together, forgetting your supposed guitar lesson for him entirely (which didn’t really seem like a bad idea, if you thought about it). Mentally, you curse him for his infectious laughter for your own. 
Snapping out of your thoughts and bringing yourself back into the present, you signal him to start right from the beginning, watching him get serious and play the song perfectly.
You were nodding your head along to the song with your eyes closed, a soft smile on your face as a cool breeze brushes against your skin. Meanwhile, James continued to strum the strings of the guitar with a newfound sense of ease and grace, knowing the song by heart at this point in time. 
But as focused as James was on playing the guitar, he wasn't looking at it. 
He was looking at you.
In the soft glow of the moonlight, James couldn’t help but think that you looked absolutely breathtaking. Even more so as you lost yourself in the moment as you listened to him play the guitar. 
You looked so peaceful and angelic, James wished this moment would last forever.
But his train of thought was interrupted when you spoke up again. "Wow, you're getting good!" You commented, the corners of your lips curling upwards into a smile.
James suddenly remembered what he was doing and purposely slipped a finger, the tune sounding very off-key when he strummed again. You opened your eyes as your brows furrowed in confusion. You were greeted with the sight of your best friend scratching almost sheepishly behind his ear.
“…And now you're not." You continued, eyeing him suspiciously. You could have sworn you heard him get all the chords right, and play the instrument efficiently just to get it wrong with a string. You sighed and grabbed the guitar from him, earning a pout from James who was obviously acting. Though you were too busy to notice, trying to be a good teacher for him. 
You played the song for James, up until the part where he got it wrong. He looked at you with guilty eyes, starting to regret his little purposeful mistake since it was never a good sight to see you frustrated with him. It weighed heavy on James’ heart, and yet, he could never understand why. 
You looked down at the guitar, seeing your fingers formed in the shape of a chord that he’d manage to botch earlier. As James listened to you correcting his mistake, he couldn’t help but gaze at you in admiration and gratitude. You had always been so amazingly patient with him, and it made him feel weird (but in a good way, he thought). 
James takes the guitar back from you when you finish with a sigh of resignation. He resists the urge to chuckle in amusement.
"Well, maybe if you put my fingers where they're supposed to be, I'd get it right." He suggests, and you catch onto the slightest hint of a smirk on his lips. 
You rub your chin in thought. "Well… I suppose it's not a bad idea." You mutter under your breath, rolling your eyes as you scoot closer to him. 
James could feel his heart skip a beat as soon as you held his hand ever so gently, guiding his fingers to which strings they should be pressed against, and to where they were supposed to be placed on the fretboard. His eyes kept darting between your hands holding his and your face, a fond smile stretched across his lips.
You look up to glance at James momentarily — your eyes never did seem to stray away from him for longer than a second — only to meet his eyes as soon as you did. You look away just as quickly as you had looked up at him. Simultaneously, you could feel the blood rush to your ears as your cheeks came alive with warmth.
"You know, staring is rude," You grumbled under your breath, still trying to place his fingers where they were supposed to be without getting confused as it was difficult to do so from your perspective.
"I'm not staring," James defended. 
You quirk an eyebrow at his tone. "Then what are you doing?"
It takes a moment of silence for him to ponder over his response. You think about risking another glance as the silence began to grow alongside your curiosity for it, until –
"I'm admiring," He answered quietly. 
You halt with your movements, looking up and meeting James’ eyes once more. The corners of his lips pull upwards into a fond smile, and you think it’s blinding even as you’re under the dark expanse of the night sky. 
James catches onto the dazed expression on your face as you continue to stare at him, wide eyes glimmering with surprise. 
“Hey,” He begins with an unmistakable hint of mischief in his tone, “Now you’re the one who’s staring,” He finishes, and you hear the familiar, teasing lilt in his voice. 
“Oh, shut up,” You command him, trying to school your expression into a neutral demeanor as you fought against the smile that threatened to come alive on your face. All the while, James is happy to oblige you, beaming at you with hearts for eyes. 
As the night wore on, and you continued to teach him guitar, James couldn't help but feel like he’s learned a lot more from you than just playing an instrument to impress a girl. 
And just like that, in the quiet of the night surrounded by you, James realizes that not only has he learned how to play the guitar, but also how he wasn’t just admiring you anymore at this point.
He was enamored.
( ♡ )
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celestialbeomgyu · 8 months ago
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BABYLON
we burned too bright now the fire’s gone…
Beomgyu x f!reader
themes - smau, exes to lovers, angst, fluff, slow burn, crack, inappropriate jokes, mature themes
summary - After a mutual friend returns home from travelling, exes y/n and beomgyu are reunited two years after a terrible breakup to help plan a welcome home party for their friend. Will they put their issues aside and welcome each other back in, or will they both want answers for the situation that has been ruining them for the past two years?
playlist - babylon - 5 seconds of summer, crash and burn - maggie lindemann, try - p!nk, paper crown - alex benjamin, house of cards - bts, jessica - girlfriends, lover of mine- 5 seconds of summer
masterlist
profiles
part one - see you soon emo boy <3
part two - on my best behaviour i swear
part three - is this modern day romance?
part four - okay now i feel far too awkward
part five - i’d recognise that black dress anywhere
part six - i told you were not getting too drunk?!!?!
part seven - yeonjun don’t be a buzzkill
part eight - let me fucking explain
part nine - fuck you choi beomgyu!
part ten - its just so fucking unfair
part eleven - she cuddled me alllll night
part twelve - plan of action
part thirteen - oh dear
tag list - @prettyrenjunn @ssukiyakii @beomtasticc @20-cms @dejavu-jun @kth988 @luvtyunn @woncheecks @haeryna @mitchloveswriting @beomfrost @wondersgyu @joonsvision @mwahvvis @herebyaccident0 @seongminloverrr @hyunj00 @sweetstraberrybear @binluvsu @bunnyeonny @todorokiskitten @sweetpotatogyu @413ktz @heegyuwrld @babymochibeargyu @jaylixjun @faeriebeomie @not-ravena @domfikeluva
(taglist is open!!)
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