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ultraclops · 4 years ago

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Sheriff’s Department Lore as of Season One

Mao Mao Mao

Has two living parents (Shin Mao & an unnamed mother) and five older sisters (Brunhilde, Minori and three unnamed sisters)

His relationship with his father is an unstable one, as Shin ignored and put him down for most of his life, making Mao Mao desperate to find a way to earn his attention and approval. This is implied to have traumatized Mao Mao, as being ignored causes him to have flashbacks and mood swings. In Small, he finally vents his frustrations towards Shin, and their relationship seems to have improved slightly. Slightly.

Not much is known about Mao Mao's mother, but their relationship seems to be better than his relationship with Shin. It's implied they maintain contact, as in Small she calls to tell him when Shin's coming over (though by the time she called he was already halfway there). She is partially present during a single flashback.

His relationship with his sisters is unknown, but according to a flashback in All By Maoself, Brunhilde and Bangles Sister picked on him as a child. In Weapon of Choice, Hat Sister is shown carrying toys and baby bottles in her hat, so she might've helped raise him.

As a child, Mao Mao had difficulty making friends and getting along with other children because he had difficulty understanding social cues, possibly caused by the neglect from his father.

Before meeting Badgerclops, he had two traveling partners: Bao Bao, a non-Anthromorphic Shiba Inu, and Tanya Keys, a Tanuki.

Bao Bao was Mao Mao's pet and first best friend who he met as a child when Shin dropped him off at a summer camp. Mao Mao named him after the noise he made while barking, "Bao bao bao!". They bonded over trying to protect the camp from the Flimborg, although the Flimborg was later revealed to be innocent (Lonely Kid). They adventured on together well into their teens, until Bao Bao got distracted and ran away while Mao Mao was helping him escape a collapsing cave, which led to a boulder crushing his tail. Ever since then Mao Mao held a hatred for Bao Bao, believing he intentionally abandoned him (Bao Bao's Revenge). He later learns that wasn't the case and Bao Bao genuinely loved him, but wanted more freedom. After understanding that, Mao Mao apologized for his behavior and let Bao Bao explore on his own (Baost In Show).

Mao Mao suffers from automatonophobia (fear of ventriloquist dummies), causing him to panic and become nauseous at the sight of one. This was caused by an incident on his sixth birthday when a ventriloquist dummy's head malfunctioned and landed on his lap, causing him to panic and his father to mock him for being scared.

Tanya Keys is a vigilante-turned-bounty hunter who supposedly taught Mao how to make disguises. They went their separate ways because Tanya disliked Mao Mao's strictness regarding the law and Mao Mao disliked Tanya's belief that some laws weren't worth following. Their relationship was implied to be romantic as Mao Mao briefly blushes and tells Adorabat "Adult relationships are complicated" when she asks if he likes Tanya. They make up when Mao Mao is forced to break the law to protect Badgerclops.

When extremely happy, Mao Mao can enter his Golden Truth Form, where his physical strength and speed are heightened. In this form, his fur and armor turn golden (hence the name) and his eyes glow white.

Mao Mao is a big fan of Lucky Ducky, the MM:HOPH universe's equivalent to Hello Kitty. If any of his Lucky Ducky merchandise is destroyed, he'll be overcome by rage and refuse to speak to whoever broke it.

Badgerclops

Has an unknown mother and father, one of them potentially being a step-parent.

Has one known sibling, an older step-brother named Gerald.

We don't know much about his father either than he's pretty strong (No Shortcuts) and Badgerclops doesn't seem to trust him (Small, although that could've been a one-off joke).

His mother seems to be emotionally distant, in Popularity Conquest he boasts that if she knew he was popular "she would not say the things that she says", and in Head Chef he says if be wins his mom might be (it gets cut off but I assume he meant) proud of him.

In Badge-A-Fire Explosion, Badgerclops reveals both of his parents shunned him for his love of silly inventions and only let him build things they approved of, causing him to develop a fear of criticism and rejection.

His relationship with Gerald is contested, as in the past Gerald manipulated him into giving up his allowance to buy himself ice cream, and he hasn't quite forgiven him yet (Enemy Mime). However, at the end of the same episode, he considers calling Gerald back to check on him.

On top of that he was also bullied relentlessly by people he went to school with, along with “some other people in (his) life”.

In The Truth Stinks, Badgerclops is shown to be extremely sensitive towards perceived destructive criticism, to the point when he burned down a village when a few villagers made fun of his haircut. This was caused by his family but could’ve been enhanced by his life as a criminal.

In the past, Badgerclops was originally the brawn in a group of Thieves called the Thicket Thieves composed of himself, the leader Tiny Toad, Bullmozer and Ratracer. However, they disliked his sympathy and quickly abandoned him when Mao Mao fought back against them (Breakup). How he joined them and how he currently feels about them is unknown. He doesn't remember most of his actions from this point in his life, but he has a bounty placed on his head in Queen's Puddleland alongside the rest of the Thieves, who have already been caught (Meet Tanya Keys).

Before meeting Mao Mao, Badgerclops' eye originally had a blue iris with white sclera. Why his eye changed to solid yellow/gold has yet to be revealed.

Adorabat

Due to his constant shunning from his parents and classmates, Badgerclops repressed his creativity so far into his mind it caused a creative state of hyper focus he occasionally enters that he calls “Ultra Focus” (Badge-A-Fire Explosion). In this state Badgerclops can’t focus on anything but finishing his projects, and he doesn’t remember anything he did in that state when he wakes up the next morning. During these states, his eye turns purple.

In Fright Wig, it's revealed Badgerclops has an escape plan in case him and Mao Mao accidentally kill one of the Sweetypies, which implies he's accidentally killed someone or witnessed a murder before.

She has a living father (Eugene) who has an unknown occupation and a deceased mother (Sonara) who used to work with gemstones in the caves under Pure Heart Valley.

Adorabat’s relationship with Eugene was strained after her mother’s death, as Eugene begun working triple shifts to both support Adorabat and to get his mind off Sonara’s death. He became extremely overprotective of her, forbidding her from doing anything remotely dangerous. Once Badgerclops revealed Adorabat helped him and Mao Mao fight monsters, Eugene drags her back to their mansion literally kicking and screaming. After Adorabat proved to him that she could defend herself, Eugene apologized for doubting her and let Adorabat stay with Mao Mao and Badgerclops, outright calling her “the most fearless member of the team”.

Adorabat gets a lot of her personality from Sonara and had a great relationship with her, as Sonara would take Adorabat exploring in the caves she worked in. Her desire to fight monsters partially stems from wanting to avenge Sonara.

Up until Adoradad, Eugene was mostly absent from Adorabat’s life due to his constant overworking. She lives with Mao Mao and Badgerclops, plus Mao Mao pays her medical bills.

She comes from a friendless background as she was disliked by other Sweetypies her age for her love of fighting and excitement. She often worries about Mao Mao and Badgerclops leaving her, because they're the only genuine friends she has.

It is heavily implied that Adorabat lost her left leg in the same incident that lead to Sonara's death.

Adorabat has a hobby of collecting bones from the monsters she defeats, which she shows to Shin in Small.

#mao mao #badgerclops #adorabat #lore #Sheriff's Department lore #//long post #// long post

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divinion1990 · 4 years ago

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Family Law

Summary: Fourteen years ago, Sherry Blendy and Lyon Vastia shared one fateful night together. Now, the conflicted fourteen-year-old Chelia discovers that her father is not the man that she believed all these years. Their journeys are destined to intertwine, but will the truth destroy their family bonds, or pave a strong future together? Collection: Fairy Tail Dad’s AU Main Characters: Chelia Blendy, Lyon Vastia, Sherry Blendy, Gray Fullbuster

----

May 12, 2020

The sounds of singing and pop music played by an overworked speaker resonated throughout the community centre. To some it was sweet, to others it was a nail through the forehead. Bouncing around the wooden floorboards and the pale teal walls, escaping through to the small reception room at the front.

“I’m sorry, the halls have ended up double booked due to the holidays,” the receptionist apologised to the two men. “The girls will be finished up in the next five minutes or so, I promise. Then the day-care centre will be free again!”

Lyon nodded, a polite smile written across his face. “That’s quite alright. We can wait.”

“Or we could not,” Gray rolled his eyes.

The older male scoffed. “Nonsense! This meeting is the best thing for you. See, they’re stopping already!” Lyon told him.

It was true. The sounds of the singing were replaced quickly with childish giggling and running around the room. Bags, coats and all other belongings were quickly gathered by the gossiping teenagers, little care for what was around them as they discussed their latest rehearsal successes.

“Did you hear that high note? And the dance routine… That last step was so hard!”

“Don’t worry, you’ll get the hang of it!”

“I’m sure we’ll do much better next time.”

“We’re already getting much better!”

Gray tucked himself into the corner of the room as the small collection of young women raced out in front of him. They bounced around with an excited air, chattering and wishing each other the best of luck. It only gave Gray reason to give Lyon a long, flat stare.

“I promise you; it’ll be worth it,” Lyon reassured him, folding his arms over his chest. “I’ve recommended similar groups to many, many others in your exact position. They’re a great way to assist you in getting over your issues.”

Gray’s frown turned into a glare. “Issues?”

“See, Aki agrees with me,” Lyon offered, leaning down to the child by Gray’s side. He in no way seemed to be in an agreeing mood, too busy staring at the small crowd from behind Gray’s legs and holding onto his father’s hand tightly. Lyon didn’t seem to notice this. “We’re going to help daddy get over his issues. Aren’t we Aki?”

“Please don’t talk to my son about issues…” Gray hissed at him, grabbing onto Aki’s hand even tighter.

“The room should be free now,” the woman behind the desk called out to them both. “Second door on the right.”

“Thanks,” Gray huffed, quickly moving away and towards the door.

Lyon grinned proudly, watching his friend disappear with his son. Without a shadow of doubt, he knew that Gray would take great things from this experience. It had been an excellent idea - after all, Lyon had tried and tested this many times with other clients.

“Mom! We got through the second verse!”

“Excellent work, both of you! Oh Wendy, I love what you’ve done with your hair!”

“Th-thank you, Mrs Blendy…”

“Oh Wendy, how many times? You can call me-“

“Lyon!”

Lyon blinked suddenly, looking back to the man calling his name. “S-Sorry?”

Gray frowned back at him. “Are you coming or what?” he asked him impatiently. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I just… thought I recognised someone,” Lyon explained, quickly ignoring his instincts and following Gray into the room.

-----

“I saw him today.”

Ren turned to his wife, pausing. It wasn’t her words that made him concerned, but the way that she held her arms over her body, the awkward glance away, the pauses between each breath. It was all enough to make him stop and listen.

“Oh?”

She hesitated. The words caught on her tongue. It held an almost ominous presence in the build up to her admission. “Her father.”

He paused again. He turned away, putting another item back into the cupboard. “I see,” he said simply.

She bit her lip. Squeezed her arms tight. “It’s been a long time since I’ve seen him around. I’d assumed he’d moved away again. But he was at the community centre at the same time as Chelia. If I’d been a few minutes late…” she gave a heavy, defeated sigh. “Not that I suppose that would be a bad thing…”

Ren just listened, continuing to put away the groceries in a solemn silence. Hearing that his silence was being returned, his hand stilled. “I don’t think this is my problem…” he said slowly.

She sighed again, this time more dramatically. No matter how sharp and uncaring that might have sounded to the untrained ear, Chelia understood. “No, you’re right. I need to decide what to do with this. We’ll stay a family no matter what happens. She isn’t going to stop loving you, you know,” she told him with a twinkle in her eye.

He turned away, taking an excruciatingly long time to put away just one can of peas.

She giggled. Ren was being as proud as always, but she could always see the love there, even when he didn’t like to admit it. “Thank you,” she told him, walking back to his side and placing a kiss on his cheek. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

——

“And then she started going on about love and how we are all still a family,” Chelia finished explaining before ducking her head into yet another dusty box.

“I see…” Wendy told her softly, brushing the dust from another label. ‘Chelia’s Toys, 2006’. She pushed the box aside. “I can’t imagine what it must feel like finding out your father isn’t-I mean, he is-but-“

“It wasn’t exactly a well-kept secret,” Chelia admitted, pulling out random items and inspecting them. “I always suspected. I don’t look anything like him.”

“That’s true… but even so…” Wendy whispered quietly.

“Nothing’s changed,” Chelia told her seriously. “Even though he isn’t related to me by blood, he’s still my dad. All I’m looking for now is my father.”

Wendy nodded. It really was admirable watching the way that Chelia had dealt with the news that would have shattered her own world. To the point where she was concerned that denial was burning strong inside her, no matter how well she seemed to have rationalised the information. The only thing left for Wendy now was to be a support, a close friend, and a sister to prove not all family relied on blood.

“Um… Chelia…” Wendy paused, trying to get the words right that she’d already thought through a hundred times. “If your mother had this conversation with you… why didn’t she tell you who your father was? Why are we having to look in boxes?”

Chelia paused. It was a question she’d both expected and still struggled to find an answer for. “I didn’t want to ask her...” she admitted, looking down. “I didn’t want her to feel like I was-like I was turning my back on Dad,” she said.

Wendy nodded slowly. There seemed to be a lot more emotions going on there than what Chelia was willing to say, but that at least seemed healthy. She reached over and put a hand over her friend’s.

“We’ll find him together,” she promised her.

Chelia’s smile lit up. She jumped on Wendy, grabbing her into a tight, tight hug. “Thank you, Wendy.”

Wendy gasped at the sudden affection but smiled back warmly. She held on tight, knowing that it wasn’t for her own sake that they’d share this moment. “Any time,” she promised, giving another squeeze before letting go. As she did, her eyes drifted to another box in the far corner, and a name that filled with promise. “Look,” she gestured.

It was everything Chelia had both anticipated and feared. The cardboard box with the words scribbled along the side; ‘Sherry High School/College’. She slid across the floor to the box, pushing away the thick coatings of dust. A line of Sellotape that had long since lost all adhesive properties came away easily in her hands, as she opened the flaps. Everything seemed painfully slow to reveal. An oversized school sweatshirt, with gold embroidery of a snaked creature emblem. Old schoolbooks that were filled with notes, love-hearts and scribbles that could have one day been considered ‘important’. Dusty shot glasses that had been packed and forgotten about, tainted with memories of exciting nights.

Usually, Chelia would have found it all fascinating. A different side to the loving mother she had always known, one that had her whole life ahead of her and – from the contents of this box – seemed content to spent it chasing dreams, scribbling love-hearts and enjoying life. She began to pull out pictures, so many frozen images of long nights ago. She had been a popular woman, wearing a wide smile and more often than not with her hands cupped into a heart shape.

“Your mother was beautiful,” Wendy commented, glancing at the pictures that Chelia was putting onto the ground. “She-she still is beautiful! She was very beautiful in these pictures, though…”

Chelia nodded. “She was,” she agreed, starting to see the patterns. Though it often seemed she would be with a different person every night, she finally saw the friendship groups emerging, until she confidently could pick out a picture with four young people. “I think… I think this is it…”

Wendy glanced over, a serious look on her face. “… You’re sure?”

A small pause from the young woman before another nod. “The way that mother talked about him… I’ve only heard her talk that way about me and my father. It was someone that meant a lot to her. One of her closest friends. It has to be someone from these pictures, one of these… one of these men is my real father.”

----

Sometimes it felt like Lyon was a dark mark upon the world of children.

He was the monster that forced parents to fight and separate. He was the demon that turned lives upside down. He was the villain who asked the painful questions: Who do you want to live with? Did they hurt you? Who do you feel safe with? How often would you like to spend time with these people? They were no questions that any child should have had to answer, and it was not an easy question to ask. Sometimes Lyon had to play the bad guy, for the most important reasons.

There was always a secret sense of dread when he saw a child in distress. There were the background thoughts running through his head, the guilt of separating a child from comfort, the terror that if he made one wrong step someone could get seriously hurt, and then there was that look. The one that cut him right to his core. Even if he forced himself into that polite smile, tried to offer a peace offering of candy, and pray the child was not traumatised for life.

Lyon’s eyes stayed pinned to the small child, watching him even as he took continual sips from his coffee mug. Waiting for him to make a sign, some kind of indication of the trauma he’d caused. Or perhaps the salvation he’d brought.

Instead, Aki just brought him a small block. Lyon looked at him quizzically… and turned back to Gray.

Gray nodded with a small smile. “He’s giving it to you,” he said with a small smirk, relishing perhaps a little too much in how uncomfortable Lyon looked.

Lyon looked back at the ‘gift’, reaching over and taking it. “Oh… thank you very much.”

The child beamed and walked off again to search for more toys.

“For someone who works with kids all day, you sure are awkward around them,” Gray commented.

It was hard for Lyon to understand what Gray’s tone meant, even after all his years of training in other’s true motives. “I usually don’t talk to children as young as Aki…” he admitted, looking even more surprised as another wooden block was passed to him by a very proud looking Aki. “And when I do, they’re usually not social visits… Does that bother you?” he asked.

Gray paused for a few seconds, before shaking his head. “You’re a natural,” he said.

Lyon didn’t feel like a natural. He put down his mug to take yet another block, as Aki disappeared into his toybox and produced five more. He giggled as he was racing back and forth across the room now, trying to drop them into his father’s friend’s lap, a fun new game to explore.

“If you say so…” Lyon said, muttering yet another ‘thank you’ and looking more perplexed by the second. “Is he usually so, uh, generous?”

“No,” Gray smiled faintly. “It means he likes you. And trusts you.”

Lyon swallowed hard. That innocence. He was clearly far too young to understand. Either that, or he had been through too much and resorted to taking kindness in the most unlikely ways. “Well… I like him too,” he admitted, smiling back.

When Aki came running back over, instead Lyon held out one of the building blocks back in his direction. The child’s eyes widened, taking it in his hands and inspecting it intently. He smiled and made a happy little sound, running off again to repeat the game again.

“I’m surprised you don’t have a kid yourself…”

Lyon paused. There it was again, an edge of sadness he’d been expecting whenever around children. No matter how much joy or love it filled him with. “I… got distracted,” he excused himself, looking away. He didn’t want to talk about the years he’d wasted. On work, on some girl, on paths taken that left him much older and much less wise than he’d hoped to be by now. It wasn’t a choice he’d made, but many smaller choices which had left him alone.

It became clear he wasn’t going to say any more. In the spirit of distraction, Lyon quickly became caught into the new games with Aki. He poured the blocks onto the coffee table and within a few seconds had been showing the young boy how to rearrange them. Or Aki had been showing Lyon. It was hard to tell, Gray noticed, finding a very small hint of a smile on his face as he watched them both.

At least this, this small protected bubble, felt safe.

#fairy tail #ftdadsau #Lyon Vastia #chelia blendy #fairy tail dads au #adoption #family drama #family secrets

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lil-purplebird · 5 years ago

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Monster Island Buddies: Episode Fan Fiction

Fandom: Godzilla (Monster Island Buddies)

Rating: M

Genre: Parody/Humor

Words: 7,295

Summary: "Werehuman". A self-explanatory legend and an existential crisis. Maybe. Adult language, not for children.

Notes: Rawwrrrr!

So this is just something silly I thought up of out of nowhere and it wouldn't leave for a few days. Figured this would fit better as a “Monster Island Buddies” fic than just a normal Godzilla parody. Yes, I'm insane enough to make an MiB fic, but I know I'm not the only one. To borrow from Destoroyah: “Fuck you.” (Not really, love you guys. But this fic is more-or-less in response to wondering if I'd make more kaiju fics, of which I'mmmmm not telling, but this is still something, I guess. Apparently this takes place before "Destroy All Godzillas".)

Ha ha, well, hope you'll enjoy! I tried.

Can also be read here.

For lunchtime at the bar, Godzilla and some of his buddies were chilling with a game of monster pool. It was called such as the billiard balls were about as big as them all, and they had to be split into teams of three to even carry the cue stick. Stupid in practice, but everything's a great idea in one's drunken state of mind, and they would've declined if Gorosaurus was the one who suggested it and not Gamera.

"Oh, my God, you guys, we're in a tag team!" Gigan exclaimed happily behind Megalon, who in turn was behind Varan. "We're gonna win together as a team! You guys? Am I right? Teamwork rules!"

"How did I get stuck with Gigan, again?" Megalon grumbled.

"Shouldn't I, like, be the one to say that instead?" Varan muttered back.

"Kick my brah's ass, Var!" Biollante cheered from the sidelines.

It was a rare sight to see the couple at the bar, but SpaceGodzilla just had to say something about celebrating their group's founding anniversary with drinks and a bottomless buffalo wings basket or something. Oh, and a friendly battle or competition where the winner (or in this case, the winning team) was going to get free tickets to a concert, and Varan got excited.

Godzilla, Jet Jaguar, and Gamera were in another team chalking up their cue tip waiting for Gorosaurus' team (consisting of him, Baragon in front, and Gabara in the back, who butted in because he had overheard about the tickets) to do the break shot. The robot hemmed to himself, "Why're we believing SpaceGodzilla has concert tickets, again?"

"I don't, but I need to get out more," Godzilla said. "I don't know how you guys can live with me if I can barely stand living with myself most days."

"Yeah, see if I'll take you back under my wing again," Gamera wryly recalled.

Mumbling under his breath, Baragon was taking care to calculate his aim, but Gabara was growing impatient. "Jussth hit the ball!" he shouted, trying to take control of the cue stick.

"I want to get at least two balls in!" the burgundy monster stated, fighting back.

"You guys, we have to work together!" Gorosaurus interjected as group leader.

"Givth me the shtick! Hyouuungh!" Gabara brayed.

"No! It needs to be precise!"

Enough force was put into the tug-of-war that the cue ball was hit, but it scarcely scraped by the nine-ball rack and rolled into the left side pocket. Some of the onlookers hooted at the sight. "Look what happened!" the dinosaur moaned.

"Alright, guess it's up to us to break it!" Godzilla said excitedly, already in place up front while SpaceGodzilla fished out the ball.

"Godzilla, let me be the frontman," Gamera suggested. "Or, I don't know, let me angle the cue stick for you."

"You're in the back, though," he pointed out. "That's what you are supposed to do."

"Maybe I should shoot," Jet said. "I already have the trajectory calculated."

He barely finished his sentence when Godzilla impulsively hit the ball the moment it was set down in front of him, and the rack cleanly broke. The eight-ball was one of the outside balls and halted close to a pocket, but then a ricocheted striped ball hit it in. "Ooh, tough luck!" SpaceGodzilla tsked, smirking at his half-brother's misfortune.

"Ooh, fizzlesticks!" the robot hissed.

"Wait, we're out of the game already?" the bipedal turtle gasped. "Godzilla, did you even aim?!"

The king of the monsters belched. "Oh, sorry, I guess I stumbled there."

"Why're you such a klutz?!"

Gigan hopped in place. "Oh, my God, did we win, you guys? We won, right? Hooray for teamwork!"

"Dudes, it worked!" Varan said in awe, letting out a breathy laugh. "Rubbing my lucky rabbit's foot worked!"

Megalon did a brief double-take. "So is that what happened to the Easter bunny?"

As Varan and Biollante had a victory make-out, Gamera gruffly sighed and threw down his end of the cue stick. Godzilla shrugged it off. "Well, that was fun, I guess. Too bad Rody missed out."

"Are you blaming this loss on me?" Gamera growled, feeling a buzzing headache coming on.

"It's not because of you, man. Now if it was Rodan in your place, one flap of his wings would've broken formation."

"Rodan would've suggested beer pong in your place," Jet said. "No offense, Gamera, monster pool just isn't working out for us."

"It was a brilliant idea! You just don't have the artistic vision to see it!" The monster turtle belched and groaned. "Ugh, I'm getting too worked up. I need to get home and lie down for a bit, maybe cry myself to sleep."

Godzilla almost rolled his eyes. "A one-time fluke doesn't mean it's a horrible idea, Gamera. Maybe it just depends on the team."

Gamera scoffed. "Yeah, guess you're right. So that means you're out of the team, Godzilla."

He threw his hands up. "What?! Why me?!"

"Guys, calm down," Jet tried to pacify, stepping in between them. "There's no need to fight over monster billiards."

"Oh, but there's plenty of things to fight over," Gamera sneered, still not breaking eye-contact.

"Oh, oh, you're going to bring up our college days now?" Godzilla bellowed. "Look, man, if this is about the time-jumping thing, there wasn't room in the machine for all of us!"

"I still got a sweet acting career out of it. But actually, there was one thing about those days I still haven't forgiven you for, and that was the werehuman prank!"

Jet Jaguar looked between them with disbelief. "What's this about a 'werehuman'?"

Godzilla scratched his snout, aimlessly staring at the ceiling. "Uh... can you refresh my memory? I think the coke binge might've warped it into something else. But I have this strange feeling like I've met a wolf man before."

"No, not that Wolf Man," Gamera huffed.

"What, do you have something again Lon Chaney?"

"No, you're just an idiot."

"Guys, what's a 'werehuman'?" Jet tried to ask, but he was ignored as the turtle scoffed.

"You want to know why you never saw my mom anymore after that party? She got paranoid and had to flee the planet so she wouldn't look at another human ever again!"

"Oh, I thought your mom died. I just didn't want to ask because she just seemed so old, and you didn't talk about her much."

"Being in your two-hundreds isn't old, you prick!"

"That just means she wasn't hot."

"Hey, you guys, can you keep it down?" Gorosaurus came in. "You're triggering an early hangover."

While the two continued to argue and insult each other, Jet Jaguar went over to the dinosaur. "Gorosaurus, what's a 'werehuman'?"

He turned to him in surprise. "You've never heard of it? It's a famous monster legend around these parts."

"Really? I've been here for over forty years, and I've never heard of it."

"You've heard of the werewolf, right?"

Jet quickly went through his archives. "It's a half-wolf, half-man, right?"

"No, it's—"

Baragon interrupted, shaking his head, "No, no, no, the Wolf Man is a completely fictional character by Hollywood. But the werewolf is believed to originate from the Mesopotamian story 'The Epic of Gilgamesh', and was adopted and tweaked a little in European folklore."

"Hey, I was getting to that," Gorosaurus complained.

"So what's a werewolf?" Jet wondered.

"A werewolf is a man who shape-shifts into a wolf during the full moon," the actor explained. "It's like a curse, which can be broken with a silver bullet, or by eating wolfsbane. You also turn into a werewolf if you're bitten by another werewolf, but you have to kill that werewolf to lift the curse. Or is that a vampire?"

"Like a zombie!" Gorosaurus added.

"Ohh, so a werehuman is a man turning into a human?" Jet Jaguar paused, then realized what he said when he glanced over at other patrons in the background. "Wait, dammit!"

Baragon laughed quietly. "No, a werehuman is a monster that transforms into a human at sunrise."

"Why sunrise?"

"The cursed monster has to work a nine-to-five office job."

Jet stared, cast his eyes over at Godzilla and Gamera who were still fighting and it was getting more heated, glanced at the bartender, and then looked back at the reptiles before him. "That's it?" When they nodded, he shrugged. "Well, uh... how do you break the werehuman curse?"

"You can't," they said in unison.

"Not even a silver bullet to the heart?"

"I never said you have to shoot a werewolf in the heart to break the curse," Baragon corrected. "But no, not even with silver bullets. All you can do is infect other monsters until you die from overworking yourself."

"My mommy told me once you had to become a vegan," Gorosaurus spoke up. "Monsters don't eat their greens and never will, so they just overwork themselves to death instead."

"Uh... Mothra eats her greens," Jet pointed out. "Cotton sweaters count, right?"

The dinosaur slowly gasped. "Maybe she was the werehuman of legend!"

"But that's all it is—a legend," the robot stressed.

"Do you see other herbivores on a regular basis?" Baragon asserted.

Jet paused. "Okay, you got me there. So... how do you become a werehuman?"

"A human bites you."

His head jerked back in shock. "That's it? Just a human?"

He leaned in menacingly, shadows splitting across his face. "Did you know that human mouths are pretty disgusting?"

"But... you said werehumans infect other monsters, too."

"Yeah, they do. But patient zero always gets bitten by a human first."

Some silence passed between them before Baragon started laughing. Gorosaurus joined in a moment later, and Jet managed to let out a nervous chuckle before backing away. Then in mid-laughter, the subterranean reptile turned to his companion. "Hold on, you said 'mommy', didn't you?"

Returning to Godzilla, the robot noticed Gamera had left. "Hey, Godzilla, what's the matter?"

The kaiju looked like the alcohol was finally getting to him, he had a more fatigued expression on his face and he was swaying a bit. "Man, Gamera's such a fucking sore loser. He blames everything else but himself."

"Uh..."

He hiccuped. "Anyway, when he's better, I'll talk to him. I didn't know that about his mom, so it's no wonder he's got abandonment issues."

"...Yeah..."

"So what was it you wanted to know about our werehuman prank, Jet?"

Jet shook his head. "Oh, never mind. I had too much to drink. Think I'm going to go home, maybe go see Hedorah."

"Okay, bud, see you later," Godzilla said, but the robot had turned his back and left the bar. He frowned, then realized he was being footed the bill. "Oh, goddamn it, Jet!"

Soon after with an emptier wallet, he was on his way back home and walked solemnly past some human crowds, but his thoughts remained back at their fight. He really couldn't remember much about that party, their whole college days was full of weed, alcohol, and casual sex that everything blurred together. But he did meet Gamera's mother once when she had visited for some celebration, he recalled simultaneously chuckling at and being grossed out over her many sags, realizing that was what his roommate was going to look like in a hundred-plus years. He had taken a hit with a bong or something before everyone came over, and he had a feeling some human was somewhere in the crowd.

Not that he hated humans, but it was someone he didn't particularly like, so he had wanted to "frame" the human as well as lighten the mood. So he slipped through into the kitchen area where Gamera's mother was fetching some more snacks (or was making sweets), jumped on her back, said articulately, "Nothing personnel, MILF," and then bit her neck. When Gamera came running in screaming "What the hell are you doing?!", he had answered, "I can't fight my werehuman instincts any longer!" then howled at nothing in particular and ran out of the dorm to terrorize the campus.

Godzilla paused to stare at some graffiti as he reminisced. "...Huh. Just how fucking stoned was I to think she was a MILF?"

Suddenly, he felt teeth sink into his tail, although not by much so it didn't hurt, but it stung. He looked behind him to see a human gnawing on his tail as if it was a corn on the cob, looking like his mind had just snapped. He was not even a hobo like one would think, he had on a suit and tie and his briefcase contents were spilled everywhere.

"Well I'll be damned. I didn't know I could feel that."

And then it hit him—the briefcase did, but so did the situation.

*~*~*

In their living room, Rodan and Mothra were having their afternoon romp. The moth kaiju was somewhat chewing on the pillow while her husband pounded her from behind, trying hard not to set the sofa on fire (again) since burnt leather is a huge turn-off. Also it's embarrassing to confess to the fire department about how it happened, and he didn't want to be featured on "Sex Sent Me to the ER".

"Here comes Rodaaaan, giant peeenilesaurrrr! Here comes Rodaaaan, deep in Mooothra's corrrre..."

And of course Rodan's growling out his theme song, somewhat, being in the heat of the moment.

"Maharaaa—ah! Mahara Mosuraaa—nn!"

Oh, shit, both of them got it in their heads to climax along with their theme songs. And thankfully, the doorbell started ringing wildly before the awkwardness could seep in further.

"Goddamn it, why now?!" Rodan grunted, flailing his wings about.

Sighing to herself, Mothra got up and apologetically nuzzled her husband. "I'll get it. It'll be less embarrassing."

Rodan stared before glancing down as she flew over to open the door. The sight of Godzilla standing there in a nervous sweat took her by surprise. "Oh, my, you don't look so good."

"Mothra, Rody, you gotta help me!" he said, slightly panting. "You guys are the only ones I can turn to!"

The pterosaur came up from behind his wife with his trademark pissed off glare. "Can't this wait? The sex was just getting good."

"Rody, please, after I got in a fight with Gamera at the bar, a human bit me on the tail, I almost lost my voice screaming and running around, and now I'm going to turn into a werehuman and have to go work in a cubicle for the rest of my life!"

The couple slowly looked at each other in befuddlement before facing their friend again. "What the fuck, Godzilla? Did you get back on drugs?" Rodan asked, exasperated his sexy times with Mothra was interrupted by a drug-fueled fit.

"I couldn't make this up even on crack! Please, you gotta help me!"

"What about MechaGodzilla?" Mothra suggested, though she sounded a little unsure.

"That's why I'm so worn out, I just came from there! I've never seen it look so empty before! Does this need a quick flashback, too?"

"Why're you bragging about coming when you interrupted me coming?" Rodan snapped out, getting antsy.

"Give it a minute, Rodan," Mothra said in aside.

"That's what you said the last time!"

Ignoring him, she then made another indication to Godzilla, "How about Jet?"

"I can't find him anywhere, either, I thought he went home!" Godzilla whined, head in his hands. "I don't know, I'm just freaking out and I don't know what to do!"

Her heart going out to her distressed friend, she patted him on the arm in comfort. "Well, come inside and we'll figure things out. But wipe off your feet and that human, first."

They turned to the man still clinging to the lizard's tail, though he was looking stiff and there was blood around his mouth and shirt.

"He's dead!" Godzilla gasped. "Oh, my God, the rabies must've gotten to him!"

"More like cancer from how cancerous this whole situation is," Rodan huffed.

"Rabies?" Mothra echoed. "Are you sure it's rabies?"

"Well why else do humans bite unprovoked?" Godzilla said with a shrug.

"Then why the hell are you going on about 'werehuman' shit?!" Rodan shouted, starting to flip out as well.

After peeking around the corner with a head, their son, King Ghidorah, slinked into the living room. "Oh, you finished having intercourse with each other?" the three heads gave a relived sigh in unison.

"No, your mother just got distracted," the pterosaur insisted, shooting a leer at Godzilla who gave him an odd look as well.

"Well, uh... I need to make lunch now or my blood sugar level's going to drop. The General offered to get lunch, but he's gonna be out a bit longer. So... can you make it quick?"

"Can't you guys do it in the privacy of your own bedroom?" the lizard wondered.

"The living room's the farthest from his room, and General has cameras installed in the basement," was Rodan's claim. "Ghidorah psychic links and public indecency laws have been sucking all of the fun out of it. Mothra's been liking the attention, though."

Mothra giggled a little. "Oh, it's not like that."

Face faulting in horror, Godzilla gestured at the furniture. "...But... everyone sits on that couch."

"But the bedroom's a good idea, Godzilla," she suddenly said a little hurriedly. "Most of my things are up there anyway, so let's get you looked at."

"Oh, Mother, Father, please don't," their son cried. "You're already copulating thrice a day, don't add more to it."

Rodan put his wing around his necks. "Son, worry not about what your mother and I do. Where do you get these crazy ideas from, anyway? I knew getting you that computer was a bad idea!"

"I was the one who built it, Father," King Ghidorah informed.

"I don't care if it was Charles Babbage’s brain, show me your search history! My son's not going to grow up to be NTR'd!"

"Rodan, are you coming or not?" Mothra asked firmly.

Rodan swung around eagerly. "I thought you'd never ask, sweetheart!"

"Not that."

He roared in frustration. "Your timing fucking sucks, Godzilla!"

Entering the bedroom, Godzilla took in the numerous candles, cushions, trinkets, some statues, and other new age stuff he never understood. His eyes fell upon an odd drawing of a moth silhouette surrounded by seven statements (as written in kanji). A green checkmark was inked next to "Three Dragons".

"Hey, what you got here?" he inquired, following a line downward.

Mothra quickly shooed him away toward the circle of cushions and kicked the poster behind a bureau. "Okay, Godzilla, slowly lower the body."

He had to shake the corpse off of his tail, and the three of them stared down at the man's blissful blood-smeared face. "So why did this human bite you just to die?" Rodan questioned suspiciously.

"I don't know, I was just trudging home from the bar, and suddenly I felt something nibbling on me," he relayed his story. "The guy looked like he just dropped everything for a bite, and he wouldn't let go like he superglued his teeth on me or something."

"How long ago was this?" Mothra asked. "He hasn't been dead for even an hour."

"Thirty minutes, I think?"

"If this was a hobo, you wouldn't have come interrupt us because you'd be dead from rabies," Rodan said gruffly.

Godzilla snorted. "Mothra, does the guy have rabies, or no?"

Studying what little life force there was from the body, she shook her head. "No, this guy was just... normal."

"Biting a monster's tail is not normal!" he declared, starting to freak out again. "This normal guy had himself a normal job someplace and he did an abnormal thing!"

"So is that why you think you're turning into a werehuman?"

"Yeah, funny that Gamera brought that up just minutes before my tail became this guy's lunch!"

"A prophet tells prophetic things. Shocker," Rodan sarcastically said.

Humming to herself, Mothra's antennae drooped. "Well, uh... I don't know what else to say, Godzilla. This is new to me."

"Why couldn't it have been Kong or Gorosaurus who got their tails gnawed on instead?" the king of the monsters sniveled. "I don't have the experience to do paperwork, and I'm too much of a klutz for coffee runs!"

"Are you done yet?" Rodan grunted. "My balls have been aching for release since you got here."

"Rody, you're my best friend, you know that?" Godzilla whimpered. "Can you take one for the team and let me do a test bite on you?"

"Fuck off, Godzilla!"

"Please? Just a nibble?"

Mothra stepped in between them. "Godzilla, I suggest you go home. Spend the rest of this time with Minilla and the others."

He paused, thinking back to his household who were none-the-wiser of his predicament. "Yeah... I suppose you're right. How much time do I have left as me?"

"Not short enough," the pteranodon growled. "We're already ten pages into this crap."

Godzilla solemnly stared down at his feet, unsure what to think of his situation. This was a fate worse than death, he was starting to realize why a lot of humans were so miserable all the time, and he hadn't even begun transforming. His stomach churned, and he groaned in anguish.

Mothra patted his shoulder with a wing. "Hey, cheer up. You're only a human during the day. You can come visit us when the sun goes down."

"But eleven-fifty-five is off-limits!" Rodan warned. "It's the only time where I get to hump Mothra well into the next day to feel better about my sexual prowess!"

"You only last for five minutes?" Godzilla asked.

"Goddamn it, Godzilla, let me have this!"

"Hold that thought," he said, and the nausea caught up to him.

*~*~*

Having already been out visiting Anguirus for the day and happened to be passing by, Minilla helped his depressed and sick father back home, feeling the weight of the news bearing down on him. Godzilla had been crying and whimpering to himself about his predicament, and he didn't know what to do to console him. That was the thing about being the Chosen One, you're only prepared for one destiny, the others just sneak up on you.

"Hey, Dad, if it means anything to you, you can become like an ambassador for Monster Island," he finally made a suggestion, trying to remain optimistic. "If it'll keep less missiles from being launched our way, this sacrifice will not be in vain."

Godzilla was still sobbing to himself. "I'm going to look like an uglier Kong, but bald!"

"Is that what you're most bothered about?" his son sighed.

"And even if I do get a human girlfriend, the sex is just not going to be the same. Once you go kaiju, you can't just downsize!"

"Dad, stay focused, please."

He sniffed some mucus back up his nose. "Maybe I'll still be able to grow a beard and join a motorcycle gang, or something to stave off my loneliness."

"This is getting serious. Dad's reaching the acceptance phase fast." Minilla frowned to himself. "Actually, why wouldn't that be a good thing?"

Upon reaching their home, they could see Titanosaurus was standing conspicuously on their lawn and staring into the window. "Oh, damn it," the Chosen One hissed. "Where're the others?"

"Oh, Titanosaurus, did you need something?" Godzilla called, temporarily putting aside his grief.

The dinosaur giggled as he turned away from the window. "Hohohoho! You talkin' to me, Fuzzy Lumpkins? Hohohoho!"

"Well, yeah. Just want to know why you're here at my house. You're crushing my azaleas."

"Stick your gangrened mojo up your powder puff, princess! You're in for a rowdy rough ride! Hohohoho! Hohohoho!" He began river dancing on the lawn, and they had to avoid his swinging tail.

"Just get inside, Dad. We need to let the other Godzillas know about this."

Walking into the living room, they noticed the group had a movie on, popcorn, chips and other junk food littered the area, and the TV's screen looked like it was set on its highest bright setting. "Hey, guys, can you pause the movie?" Minilla asked just to get his face sprayed with crumbs by a shushing Orga.

"See, this is why you can't enjoy a good movie anymore!" he grumbled. "Jackasses are always interrupting your viewing everywhere you go!"

"Orga, you've been coming over uninvited to watch a movie for weeks now!" Godzilla groaned.

"My cable provider hasn't gotten back to me yet, and I need it to make my Orga Reviews so I can pay the bills! Fucking asshole."

"Crash over at Rodan's place, then!"

He chortled. "Dude, have you seen their couch? And I'm not the one who broke it this time!"

All of the alternate Godzilla versions shushed them. "Ugh, why do we always get interrupted by jackasses at the best parts?" the stout lighter-gray Godzilla growled.

Godzilla Earth lumbered into the living room to announce in his booming gravelly voice, "WELL, WE RAN OUT OF THEM LEMONY-SCENTED GOODNESS WIPES AGAIN. DID I MISS ANY BOOBIES ON THE CABLE?"

Minilla snatched the remote to pause the film, ignoring the protests from the others. "Guys, my dad has something important to say."

"Unless he won a million-billion dollars, forget it," Alternate Future Godzilla scoffed.

Godzilla stepped forward, now somber once again. "Everyone, this might be the last time to be me as I am now."

They silently gave him weird looks.

"I know this is hard to believe, but... I'm a werehuman."

"Nothing shocks us anymore," the tiny Godzilla said. Orga almost choked on a chip laughing.

"I was bitten by a human this afternoon, and that means I'm going to be a human by the morning. I'll still come around when it's nighttime, but I'm not going to be head of the household much anymore if I can't be king of the monsters." He turned to his son. "So Minilla, my boy... I'm giving you the keys to the castle. It's been a long time coming, but you deserve it, my son."

Although he was certain the "werehuman" wasn't what it seemed to be, he couldn't help hanging his head in reverence. "Dad, I'm honored..."

"OHHH BOY, I CAN FINALLY HAVE MYSELF A 'M.A.S.H.' MARATHON BUDDY TO WATCH WITH!" Earth exclaimed happily, his jagged smile crinkling his eyes. "YOU BEST NOT FORGET, YOU HEAR?"

"I call your room," Future Godzilla said, raising his hand.

"Damn it, I wanted his room!" Big Daddy G roared.

"Should've called faster."

"Guys, I'm not relinquishing the house just yet!" Godzilla insisted. "I'm still going to be living here until I can find myself a human apartment!"

"Uh... yeah, I knew that. But I'm still going to call it."

Turning to Little Godzilla and Baby Godzilla who were sleepy on their feet, the king of the monsters spread his arms out for a hug. "Come here, kids. I just need to tell you I'm proud of you, and wish you well as you grow up."

The babies stared at him, then babbled something about him smelling like beer and incense.

"So Godzilla Prime, what're you going to do for the rest of your kaiju day?" another Godzilla asked, orange eyes narrowing like he wasn't taking the news seriously.

Thinking back to whatever bucket list he may have had in mind, he hemmed and folded his arms a bit. "Really good question. Let me think about it after lunch. Also get the fuck out of my house, Orga," he added to the alien.

"Alright, alright, sheesh," he huffed, stepping outside only to get tackled by Titanosaurus.

Everyone gathered around the table as he munched on an egg salad sandwich and sucked down some cola. Minilla was cooking up another egg for his father and himself, inwardly consulting with the Hand for guidance while also thanking the Hand for handling the skillet in his place. As Godzilla Prime counted his alternate selves surrounding him in his head, a thought struck him like a lightning bolt out of the blue.

"Hey, Minilla, do you remember what I did with the bible audiobook?" he wondered as he finished his drink.

He turned away from the stove. "What's this sudden interest in the human concept of religion, Dad?"

"If I'm going to be a werehuman, I figured I might as well pretend I know what I'm talking about when debating around the water cooler. Also Larry King just soothes the eardrums just right. I think that's part of what comes with the Jewish package, kinda like how King Ghidorah used to speak."

Minilla wanted to roll his eyes to the ceiling as his father scarfed down the rest of his food. "Yeah, you're going to fit right in with the humans."

"DID SOMEONE SAY SOMETHING ABOUT THE CHEWS?" Godzilla Earth queried, his hearing failing him again.

"No, it's Jews," Big Daddy G corrected.

"WOAHHH, YOU BETTER BE CAREFUL ABOUT THEM CHEWS. ONE TIME, I WOKE UP WITH A MOUTH SORE BECAUSE I SLEPT WITH MY MAW OPEN, AND THOSE DAMN PESTS CRAWLED INSIDE TO NEST BETWEEN MY GUMS."

"Actually, I'm going to check to see if it's on Audible." Godzilla fished out an iPod for a look.

"If you're so sure about it, Dad, I can check storage for you," his son offered.

"That's okay, better safe than sorry. Ah, here it is—ohhhh man, it's the big James E. Jones! Now that's a real king! Is it free?" He did a quick scan and then tossed down the iPod. "Forty bucks?! Goddamn it, I might as well just read the actual book, and I don't have the time nor ability to read and do stuff all at once!"

With a sigh, Minilla went to go scour the boxes for any trace of the audiobook. It wasn't that he didn't care what his father would do, but he didn't feel it was going to do or change anything. Besides, he felt like he saw something like this on TV and it felt like a cheap, quick gimmick to avoid actual conflict.

When he found the box with the CDs still unopened inside, he wondered what was even the point, and secretly hoped the CD player was unplayable so his father could actually get off his tail and do something—

"Oh, you found it, son?" Godzilla said from behind, looking over his shoulder. "Wow, I completely forgot about this—oh, hey, that's the same one I was looking at on Audible! Oh sweet, you saved me forty bucks, Minilla!"

He hesitantly handed them over. "Yeah... you're welcome, Dad."

Godzilla put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Don't worry, boy. I'm still going to be around, even if I'm an ugly hairless ape."

He harumphed to himself, smirking slightly. "You sure change your mind pretty quick."

"Well, you got to keep an open mind, you know. Okay, how do you work this thing, again?"

Getting it strapped (somehow) on his waist and the headphones plugged into the jack, he snapped on the first disc. "I'm heading out."

"Where to, Dad?"

"I've got things to do, places to go, people to see. All that jazz. Byeeeee!" He left the house, leaving Minilla to stare forlornly after him at the window.

"Finally, we can start where we left off!" Future Godzilla sighed, plopped back down on the couch. "Minilla, can you make some more popcorn for us?"

*~*~*

Godzilla lost himself to the sultry, booming voice of James Earl Jones' narration (he'll have to play catch up on the Old Testament some other time), letting the words flow through him as he traveled the land. He never took off his headset when he tried new foods, explored a new cave or lakeside, attempted bungee jumping, even when stopping to have a chat with other kaijus, nodding along in all the right places and saying the right things while his thoughts remained on the narrator. Something-something about parables and healing of the sick, but it was like Mufasa was there in the clouds telling him all of this. It was quite heavenly and took his mind off of the throb in his tail from where the human had bit him. It was more annoying having to change the discs because it took him out of cloud nine, and apparently Minilla had the proper foresight to have snuck him some extra batteries, but that was all the motivation he needed to keep going well into the night.

Luckily, in the middle of Paul's epistles (he liked how James would say "Paul"), he made it back home in time for everyone to be in bed for him to not be bothered, and he snuck by Godzilla Earth snoozing in front of the TV to sit in front of a window that faced east. He wanted to be able to have the morning sun rest on him as he lounged in a chair, and make himself comfortable for the transformation. It shouldn't hurt, for all he knew, should be over in a "twinkling of the eye" as the good book said through the voice of Darth Vader. Something about eye twinkles was romantic and peaceful enough to yield to his fate.

Being a human shouldn't be all that bad, he reiterated tiredly to himself for what had to be the umpteenth time that day. You're only like an office slave for only eight hours. That's not too bad. You have sixteen other hours of the day to just be yourself. Just have to grin and bear it, and I'm pretty good at grinning, if I must say so myself. Yeah, shouldn't be all that different from what I do now. Probably have to cut back on my alcohol intake. Humans can't handle the same alcohol we can. Should start trying out this wine, I guess. All this talk about wine's been making me thirsty.

Godzilla tried to wriggle out of his chair to go get himself a glass of whatever, but his muscles were protesting too much, and he went limp. Oh well, that can wait. Man, I hope the others don't freak out when they see me, if they can still recognize me.

The deep voice rumbled in his ears, "'Let him know, that he which converteth the sinner from the error of his way shall save a soul from death, and shall hide a multitude of sins.'"

"Yeah, you tell 'em, Mr. Jones," Godzilla mumbled through a yawn. "You tell 'em..." And he dozed off right as this Peter part of the audiotape began at the three o'clock hour.

*~*~*

The babies were the first to get up and climb out of their cribs. They typically always were the first to greet the new day, it was the only time where they were free to do what they pleased before the grown-ups came to stop them. They put their all into their adventures.

As they waddled out into the living room where the TV was still blasting an informercial in front of a sleeping Earth, they went to enter the kitchen when they noticed a familiar shadow cast across the floor. "Daddy?" Baby Godzilla mumbled, and they looked at the silhouette facing the window. The sun was coming up, and the kaiju was immobile in the chair, arms hung down at his sides. The spindly rays looked like a halo about him, feathering his outlines.

They stared for a bit longer, unsure when their father had come back and what he was doing staring directly into the light, but they decided to let him be. Gesturing to each other, they left the room to go back upstairs. They can play some games up in their room, or find a way to climb out of their window.

It wasn't for another hour before Minilla got out of his room. As his father wasn't in his bedroom, he was hesitant to go downstairs to see what had become of him. A part of him was still unsure if the werehuman was even real to begin with, but Godzilla had looked too serious to have been pulling his leg. He figured before he'd search for him that he'd wait for his visitor to arrive.

Quietly so as to not disturb Godzilla Earth, he stepped out onto the porch in time to see Gamera and Anguirus making their way up the cobbled path. "Thank Blundergosh you're here," he said in a whisper.

"For the record, I'm just here to witness it with my own two eyes," the turtle said a little gruffly. "This is a touchy subject for me, but I think Godzilla would appreciate my being here."

"He's going to need all the support he can get," Anguirus said, a little melancholic. "Like the Hand, we must reach out to him in his time of need."

"So is he here?"

Minilla cricked his neck a little. "I think so, but I just got out myself. Everyone's still in their rooms, so..."

"Let's search around the premises first," the dinosaur suggested. "He may be too ashamed to show his face but still wants to be in the comfort of his home."

"You should go in front of me so I don't punch his face when I see him," Gamera said, flexing his jaw. "I'm sorry, this is just pissing me off."

Putting his paw on his arm, Anguirus gave a nod and started off for the yard. Carefully on tiptoe, they followed and looked around where they think a radioactive lizard—or a human—would hide in. They ruled out underneath the house for the time being, that was to be the last hiding place to check if they can't find him anywhere else. Glancing in the kitchen windows, Minilla was surprised to find it empty, since usually the babies were in there in the mornings.

"First clue: He's here, or has been here," he announced to his companions.

"Alright, keep searching," Anguirus said, still going on ahead. "Can't peek inside the windows for the life of me..."

Shielding their eyes from the sunlight, they turned to the window and through the glare saw a chair was in front of it, and it was occupied. Cupping their hands to their eyes, Minilla and Gamera peeked in, and the actor thought he could hear a molar crack from gritting his teeth to silence a snarl.

Snoring in the chair, head lolled back and drool on his chin, Godzilla was in a deep sleep, scales and all. The headphones had slipped and looked bent from the angle, but only the Chosen One noted that detail he had that audiobook on all night. Maybe it was a source of comfort for him, but he looked way too relaxed for someone who was absolutely certain he was a werehuman.

"Well? What do you see?" Anguirus asked, looking back-and-forth between them.

"False alarm," Minilla decided to say, sounding a little relieved.

"No it fucking isn't!" Gamera shouted, startling the two of them. "The jackass took it too far!"

"Is he in there, or...?"

"That piece of shit believed in his own lies, and he has the gall to sleep like a slob! God, now I wish he was a human so I could crush him!"

Anguirus tilted his head. "This is a bad thing, why?"

Pulling back, Minilla just shrugged. "In all fairness, he's quite human enough, so he wouldn't have been much different. I'd just hate to see him as an actual human."

"He'd be one ugly son of a bitch, that's for sure," Gamera huffed. "Ugh, screw this, I'm going home to sleep. I spent all night meditating for his sake. What a waste of energy..."

"What if your prayers were answered?" the seer suggested, hoping to cull his anger.

"I was meditating for his human self. What a waste." And he sulked off, leaving the two shrugging and letting out rough sighs.

Godzilla's breath caught mid-snore, and he smacked his lips, but didn't budge from his chair. "...May the Force be wi'you, Jonesss..."

*~*~*

"Orga's in the house!" the alien announced, grinning smugly while swirling around a half-empty glass of iced tea. "Well, that was a letdown of a disaster. Given the weird format of this 'fan fiction', I guess the mailbag's been replaced with this 'author's notes' instead. Man, what's up with that? If it's over, just end it, no need to make people read more. Besides, it sounds stupid for fan fiction writers to get fan-mail.

"Who does that, anyway? And with such messages like 'When is the next chapter of Forsaken coming out?' Like what's up with that?" Orga narrowed his eyes in confusion. "What is that, anyway? Sounds like it'd make for a cool 'God of War' or 'Dead Space' fic. Whatever. Hey, kid! You, the one writing this crap!"

The author's small hands stopped moving on the keyboard as Orga peered at her through the screen. "Who're you calling 'kid'?" she warned in an unfortunate high voice.

"Yeah, why're you doing this? Don't you have better things to do with your time like schoolwork or something?" Then he chuckled nervously. "Oh, wait, that joke's gonna age like Madonna if I go any further, and that's already embarrassing!"

The author's hands went palms-up in befuddlement. "Okay...?"

"Stay safe out there, anyway."

"Yeah... thanks—is that why you've hijacked my end notes?"

Orga shrugged. "Well yeah, I have nothing better to do, either! How long were you working on this, anyhow? Did the winning team even go to the concert, or what?"

"...Yeeeeaaa—I guess..."

"You're just making shit up, aren't you? You think you're so 'ha ha' funny, don't you?"

A back-and-forth uncomfortable stare ensued for the next moment while Orga finished off the rest of his drink.

"This is awkward!" he then broke the ice while crunching on an ice cube.

"You're telling me," the author grumbled, insulted.

"Hey, how're you typing this ou

#Godzilla #minilla #gamera #monster island buddies #fan fiction #oh god why #why did i do it

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