#oversharing tw

[castielsprostate]

i am SO angry right now

[dumblemonchickenwing]

mysogyny tw, vent

Mysogyny is probably in small things, at least in my life. If I just sit and someone asks me "have you experienced mysogyny?" I'd probably doubt it because I can't give a proof that would convince people.

But when I look at all the small details in my life, it's sprinkled all over: I have an obligation to do my brother's chores. Which means that he has less responsibility than me, because aside from that we are on equal footing. We both work a full time job.

I have an obligation to do overall chores and look after the apartment, where 5 people live. If I forget or am not feeling up to doing it once, I get yelled at by my mother and I face dire consequences. ANd the argument is always "you're a girl! Girls are supposed to be tidy and take care of the house!"

When my parents discuss their old age they always look at me because they expect that I will be the one who will take care of them when they will have dementia. In family my brother is supposed to be the person who "continues the bloodline" which implies that his life is his own, and I will take on the responsibility for the rest.

I am not allowed to have a PC. I tried to talk about it with my parents and they forbade it, with a very negative reaction. I have a laptop that can't handle videogames, especially games that weigh a lot. This is part why I only draw, because I have no other option. I only play games through my brother's switch, which means, again, the only reason I can enjoy gaming is because of my brother. My parents wouldn't allow that.

My brother has the technology, he buys new things, while I wait until my old and rusty keyboard and mouse, laggy laptop break down completely, so that I'd be able to get something new. And all of that is normal.

Not to mention how much more hostile my mother is to me than toward her son (my brother). And I've already shared about how she gave my phone number to a woman I didnt know behind my back, without discussing it (a procedure where one family hands down their daughter to the other so their son would meet her). But we never really discuss anything because my parents always decided things for me without my opinion.

I've occasionally had talks (which mainly was them talking and me listening) about me marrying someone, and it was always presented in a "if you do X thing no man will ever marry you" and presenting it in a way as though I hold no value unless I have a man to look out for or take care of.

The reason my mother gave birth to me was for the sake of my brother , so I kinda see why I get this attitude.

I admit I am used to it. But if I am writing this, then this means I'm not actually okay with it.

[cubbihue]

Does Mr. Turner like rubbing his “son’s” successful career in Dinkleberg’s face??

He does! He brags about Timmy's success to every person within the neighborhood's vicinity. Mr. Turner loves how successful his son is! It really secures his reputation at the neighborhood HOA meetings they host at their house.

Timmy's worked very hard to gain more successes than failures. The more successful he is, the greater his family's social standing!! And the less he gets to overhear his dad ranting to the neighborhood about his failures.

Bitties Series: [Start] > [Previous] > [Next]

[hanasnx]

ppl who support AI tell on themselves man. “i’m sick and tired of treating people sub-human and acting like they’re content machines and they actually get mad at it! so i’ll just do it to this AI instead!” / “i don’t want to pay for the real and valid labor of art and instead just want to steal it and i think i should be praised for that!” / “i’m so happy i have an AI girlfriend so that i don’t have to put into the work of a real human girlfriend. could you imagine? me putting in the work of a meaningful and real relationship? ha!”

if you use AI chat, AI art, chatgpt, AI anything to write/roleplay/draw you’re pathetic for sacrificing other people in order to get what you want. stepping over thousands of hours of real individual labor to support companies that want to exploit them too. you disgust me, and i don’t want you interacting with my page.

[michmastkillhimself]

okay, so i’ve got three vids. first one? i’m doing kinda fine—stomach’s just starting to grumble a bit. second one? things go downhill fast. i had to unbutton my jeans ‘cause i knew the bloat was coming, and my stomach’s making all these wild gurgling noises. by the third vid? full-on balloon mode. bloated, gassy, and my stomach’s straight-up throwing a rave.

tw emeto: so, uh, i threw up a few hours ago—don’t ask what i was thinking. my stomach’s basically packed with chips, fatty dairy, and way too much coke zero (seriously, maybe that’s the culprit?). pretty sure there’s still some seafood leftovers in there from earlier, so… fun times.

after the last vid, the nausea hit hard. like, i grabbed a bucket just in case, but idk if it’s gonna happen. i really don’t wanna drink water (my usual “get this over with” trick), but omg this is unbearable..

do you need other videos?

#tw emeto #bloatcore #stomach noises #coke zero regrets #dairy disaster #body horror but make it real #food baby chronicles #nausea vibes #overshare central

[griancraft]

I'm struggling to word this but I'm finally ready to talk about it and I want people to listen.

I've noticed a type of racism in leftist communities I don't see talked about a lot. I am Quarter Japanese and I am visibly mixed, but a lot of leftists see "quarter" and assume that I don't have the right to an opinion on issues that effect me. The sentiment I've gotten from mostly white leftists is that I'm not "POC enough" for a lot of discussions.

There's this weird thing in a lot of leftist spaces where your appearance and percentage, not your experiences based on your race, are considered above all.

Meanwhile, in reality, all aspects of my identity are affected by my race and my family's experience with Japanese internment. An event which stripped them of any wealth they had acquired since moving to Canada over 50 years before the war.

An event that cause the intermarriage rate of Japanese-canadians and white Canadians to be over 90 percent post internment because we viewed proximity to whiteness as safety. An event which left them in severe poverty until my dad and aunt worked their asses off to get a degree. The generational trauma goes so deep my dad didn't want me transitioning because he was worried about what the government would do to me.

Because of my race I experienced negligence from authority figures related to pretty severe racially based bullying at 12. That negligence could have killed me. I've had to deal with microaggressions and straight up racism related to my last name on multiple occasions.

One time I was out with a friend and he grabbed my arm tight and dragged me to walk faster. A man wearing a white lives matter T-shirt was standing in the middle of the path looking directly at me when I turned around.

I'm pretty sure this wasn't based on me being feminine and goth that day, I live in a city with a decent amount of people in alt subculture and my friend was way more gothed up and queer than me. I was barely passing as a guy at that point so it wasn't because I was a man in a dress. I know this is a weaker point, but it made me realize just how unsafe I am in my own community even though I'm a mixed person in a heavily multicultural city.

Obviously, this isn't on the scale of someone who is less white passing than me and/or has more compounding marginalizations. However I've found that the fact I'm mixed race has been used against me to devalue my experience and knowledge regarding what it's like to be a POC in Canada.

I can assure you I am aware of how bad it is, and I am aware of how good I have it. I also want you to be aware that it's not all sunshine rainbows and bunny farts to be more white, it doesn't make the racism go away. It often just makes it more covert and easy to explain away because I'm "not really Japanese"

[salemoleander]

Have eaten some weed-infused honey and am now in a race to finish making quesadillas before that kicks in

[daddydaichis]

I’m just a teeny tiny bit tipsy and it’s making me think of how my faves would deal with me.

Kakashi has me over his shoulder on the way to bed in an instant, he’s ready to wipe off my make up for me and wash my face.

Erwin is chuckling, pressing a loving kiss to my temple whilst he gently takes the wine glass from my hand.

Daichi is encouraging me to drink water and pretending he isn’t already half hard at how handsy I am being.

Kafka suggests a greasy takeout to soak up the alcohol but we end up making out loudly as we wait, making everyone else insanely uncomfortable.

[theirlives]

birthday  tattoo  has  finally  healed  up  enough  for  me  to  share!  i  had  this  stain  covered  up  in  december,  but  it  was  a  rough  one  to  go  over  due  to  scarring  and  being  dark,  which  left  it  bumpy  for  a  while.  i’ve  spent  ten  years  hating  this  tattoo  and  the  history  behind  it.  i  initially  wanted  this  tattoo  to  represent  my  mom’s  first  battle  with  breast  cancer    [...]    as  you  can  see,  it’s  mostly  ended  up  a  blob.  that’s  because  i  had  it  done  drunk on  my  abusive  ex-partner’s  couch  after  a  night  of  him  treating  me  like  shit  because  i  wore  an  outfit  he  didn’t  approve  of.  the  'hope'  almost  ended  up  being  his  name  because  he    &    the  tattooist  'thought  that  would  be  funny'.  it  also  represents  the  month  i  fell  pregnant  and  later lost  our  baby.  every  time  i  look  at  it,  i’m  only  ever  reminded  of  bad  things.  now,  it’s  finally  gone  and  been  replaced  with  a  beautiful  lotus  flower.  i  didn’t  initially  choose  a  lotus  flower.  my  tattooist  suggested  it  as  our  best  option,  but  when  i  went  home  to  research,  i  learnt  it  has  many  meanings  including  representing  rebirth  and  rising  from  a  dark  place  into  beauty.  i’ve  spent  the  last  year  trying  really  hard  to  have  a  better  relationship  with  myself,  my  body  and  my  mental  health  by  quitting  the  shit  that  isn’t  good  for  me.  this  tattoo  is  just  another  one  of  those  things  and  the  flower  now  feels  very  fitting  for  the  girl  who  celebrated  nine  months  sober  yesterday.  feeling  a  little  emotional!  tldr:  i  got  a  new  tattoo,  isn’t  it  pretty?

[jesse-pinko]

Did anyone else have that one childhood friend who developed serious behavioral problems that were clearly a result of severe trauma and every adult around you HATED them sooo much and acted like they were the plague and only ever focused on how inconvenient and socially inappropriate their pain was and it forever changed the way you looked at the adults in your life and from then on you kept waiting for them to discard you as soon as you became a problem

[humanpurposes]

At this point I'm only here for Aemond crumbs and dragons. That being said, I actually liked this episode!

Vermithor and Silverwing are SO COOL, that whole sequence was great. I love how distinct all the dragons are and the differences in how they bond with their riders. Silverwing has no standards but ykw, nor do I, we're soul sisters. And then Aemond and Vhagar doing a little spot check to be like "ah fuck... Rhaenyra has more dragons."

Rhaenyra was actually interesting to watch in this episode!! To me, this is the most in-character she's been all season, she's assured of her own claim, she's entitled and she's ruthless. Rhaenyra is still a Princess who comes from a family who consider themselves genetically superior to the people they have power over, but she's been written as if she's the embodiment of progress and tolerance for the sake of emphasising double standards and misogyny. Sure would have been great if we could have had this from episode 1 though instead of stalling the plot :))))

And god, her conversation with Jace!! She really screwed her Strong boys over from the get go, because if Jace's legitimacy can be questioned then it can be challenged. He relies upon the fact that he has a dragon to justify his position as Rhaenyra's heir, but what now that other Targ bastards have claimed dragons (that are older and larger than Vermax)? Maybe Jace appreciates that Rhaenyra loved Harwin and the role he played in their lives, but she's set him up for failure, especially since she's had two legitimate sons with Daemon. I don't think I've given Jace much credit but actually, it's been interesting seeing his confidence grow as he takes on his responsibilities as heir this season. And I like that he's questioning her, then seeing his internal struggle of "I love and respect my mother but I'm frustrated with her decisions."

Not enough Aemond or Helaena. Also I miss Otto :(

[sunkissedliterarylightofchrist]

why are you comparing you being depressed and suicidal to being trans that is messed up i mean ive followed you for a while and your nice but what is that

TRIGGER WARNING FOR SUICIDE AND DEPRESSION BECAUSE ANON BROUGHT IT UP READ CAREFULLY OR SCROLL AWAY

Let's take a look at what I actually said.

And it comes to neopronouns- you're basically saying that you aren't a person, or something to that effect, it depends on the person. So as for it making somone happy... I disagree with that because of what the Bible says. Jeremiah 17:9, The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it? Our feelings and emotions and flesh lie to us all the time. If you're a runner, you know that! Your body is screaming at you that this is the worst thing ever and you are going to die if you don't give up right now, but then a chase comes on and you're able to sprint at top speed for thirty seconds and go, 'Huh, I guess I was able to do that.' Our bodies and minds lie to us, all the time. That's a big thing about mental health too- there are some days that there is nothing I want to do more than pack up and leave my entire life behind without telling anyone and intentionally hurt them by this. And then once in a while there are worse days when suicidal ideation gets the better of me and I'm standing at the edge of a river not that far from my house and contemplating drowning myself. But I don't. Because my mind and body and feelings are deceptive. And I listen to God and what He says. Because what He says is always good, beautiful, and true. And far above me and anything about me. He is strong where I am weak. And I, in my flesh, apart from Him, am weak in everything. It's the same here. It's the same with every other sin. My feelings are weak and changeable, and my body and mind work together to decieve me into desiring things that are terrible for me. And same with every other person ever. So wanting to do something just because it feels good or makes you happy isn't a good reason for doing a lot of things. Just because being called eir/ehm would make you happy doesn't mean its a good reason. Just because getting drunk would make you happy doesn't mean its a good reason. Just because mastubating makes you happy doesn't mean its a good reason. And this comes to gay relationships too, or being trans, or no gender, or any of that. Just because it makes you feel good doesn't mean its a good reason.

The point I was making was that the heart is decietful above all things, and we can't trust it, or our feelings. A lot of the time if you 'feel' a certain way about something, it doesn't make it true. Literally could not have made it any clearer.

Also- I'm not depressed or suicidal. Those titles belong to actual victims of mental illness who are struggling and it is terrible. If I waved around my problems and claimed that they are just as bad and that my 'trauma' should be considered equal to theirs- that's totally wrong.

Years ago, I was in the beginning stages of depression. I had symptoms of depression. Ones that required help. But I did not have it 'bad enough' for it to be actually depression, and praise God for that. Inflating this to act like I'm worse off than I am as a cry for attention when I do not struggle with this anymore is wrong. I'm healed and a very happy person once more, because of His goodness.

Oh, and same with being suicidal. I have never been suicidal. There have been several specific points where I have struggled with suicidal ideation, and contemplating killing myself in that moment or that day or week- but as soon as I was reminded of the TRUTH in God, it left. And these points are very spotty and have lots of time between them. When you're suicidal, its something that sticks with you for an extended amount of time and is constantly plaguing you. There is a HUGE difference between having moments of suicidal ideation and actually being suicidal. You need different kinds of help. The thing about me maybe having a suicidal session for few hours once every few months to even a year, is it always comes from an event that has incredibly extreme emotions and because whatever happened trigged my way over-the-top-wants-to-kill-me-brain, which sent me down a spiral of the worst path possible.

But guess what? It's never worked. I'm still alive, aren't I? Praise God! Because I've never listened to my feelings. I've always waited until my mind could hear reason again and listened to God and His truth. And over time, its gotten easier and easier and quicker and quicker to wrestle my mind back into submission of the Father. Because I've gotten used to it and know how my mind works better, but also because I have gained new tools to help me. The last time I had a ideation moment (which, ironically, was like, a few days ago) it lasted less than an hour. Less than an hour of me thinking of why I should off myself. But then I used the tools I needed to use and came before God and He pulled me from the brink. And the time before that was like... four months ago. A looooong time! It gets longer each one. Praise God.

You might say that I used a way too extreme example and that I'm wrong. But the point is we should never let our emotions get the better of us, no matter how extreme they are- emotions are temporary but the glory of God is forever. This applies to everything ever.

[luke-o-lophus]

Ok Imma tag the MK fandom here because idk how to deal with this because wtf. It has to do with identities. Imma start slow.

I know I used to disconnect from reality at times during my teenage years (context, heavy domestic abuse). I had an alternate life in my head where I played a character. Eventually I realised it was going too far and I was losing track of reality and forced myself to cut ties with that identity. It was awfully difficult. But I stopped all the activities I'd do to 'connect' to that world, that character, and others in that universe. This was when I was still young and had no access to therapy. By the time I could go to therapy (at 19) this wasn't the primary issue at all, and there were much bigger issues. This thing didn't occur as a thing to talk about in light of everything else...just a quirky thing an imaginative kid did.

Lately I've been realising that in times of extreme stress, when I try to calm myself down, I start talking to myself as "we" and "us". I've apparently been doing it for ages but it struck me only recently. I was like huh, wonder what that's about. Didn't think much of it.

NOW I'm going through my old journal and a short paragraph makes my blood run cold.

Dated August of 2015, I'm writing "Dafuq should I do about my alter? I can't stop from doing what she does...I do. I am her. She is me. We are one. But I don't agree all the time. Actually ever."

Idk why my reaction was to come here and yap. Guys, I didn't know much about personality dissociation and all before watching MK. I didn't know the term "alter". WHAT THE FUCK WAS I WRITING HERE. Is there something about me I don't know.

[hanasnx]

i love rape and writing about rape and talking about rape and

[tokintormin]

doodle , unrelated,

dimneo1010 magma canvas

sona warning

[michmastkillhimself]

Aww omg yes post all the videos you have such a cute belly

didn't think this was a good idea, but since people keep asking, lol…

so i cut out the sound in some parts because you can hear my moans and sighs, and at the very beginning, i pressed on my stomach too hard and burpedi 💀 just want someone to give me a belly massage and whisper dirty things about it in my ear… :( honestly, i'm feeling so bad in this video that i'm not sure i wouldn't puke on your shoes in this state.

in that other post, i mentioned that i was super nauseous and even brought a bucket… anyway, i ended up falling asleep, but i woke up in the middle of the night because my stomach was the size of the moon and twisting like crazy. i was literally drenched in cold sweat. i thought about going to the bathroom, but as soon as i stood up, i started puking hardcore-thank god the bucket was nearby. i'm still bloated :(

honestly, i have no idea why i'm even into this, but if anyone wants to talk about it, my dms are open-don't be shy.