#overload bundle

[solrazo]

Greenwich Just Made a Spinach Pizza and it's Really Really Good!

Greenwich launched a new flavor under its Overload® Creations line that combines all your favorite vegetable & meat toppings on its signature crust. Introducing: the mouthwatering & creamy Honey-Glazed Spinach & Pepperoni Pizza!

Available in a la carte and Holiday Overload® Bundle for P599 only A new spin to spinach pizza? Pwede pa kayang pasarapin? Greenwich just did that! The number one pizza chain in the country launched a new flavor under its Overload® Creations line that combines all your favorite vegetable and meat toppings on its signature crust. Introducing: the mouthwatering and creamy Honey-Glazed Spinach &…

[hyolks]

7 divas are staring at each other

[barbieb0y]

it's VN fest rn i need everyone to manifest needy streamer overload discount RIGHT FUCKING NOW i dont care if it's a 5% discount if i wake up and it's not on sale im blowing up a building

[httpsleclerc]

Day 1 - Tangled Lights with Dad!Charles Leclerc and Mom!Verstappen!Reader Reader

pairings: Dad!Charles Leclerc x Mom!Verstappen!Reader

warnings: none!

word count: 1.2k

a/n: welcome to the first day of the 12 days of fluff-mas!!!

12 days of fluff-mas masterlist! // my main masterlist <3

"Daddy, when are we going to put the decorations on the tree," Your oldest son, Jules, whined. Charles laughed at the attitude of his 4 year old son, he claimed that his love of complaining was all Verstappen. "Daddy it's not funny! What if Santa comes and we don't have the tree to look good!" 

"You know, Jules, Santa doesn't come to see the tree, he comes for milk and cookies, and to leave all of your presents under the tree," Charles reminded your son, smiling as he sat down beside him. "And anyway, we can't start decorating the tree until your sister stops trying to eat the lights." He motioned over to your daughter, Elodie, who sat with the string of warm white Christmas lights on her lap, carefully placing one in her mouth before quickly spitting them out.

"Maman, lights no good!" The toddler yelled for you, holding the bundle of lights up to you, her small features knit together in frustration as she pouted. You smiled as you came out of the kitchen, normally, the mess in the living room would have sent you spiralling, but as you took in the sight of your small family decorating the tree together, you realised that you couldn't be mad. You groaned slightly as you bent over to pick Elodie up, pushing her blonde hair out of her face. "Yucky."

"That is because you are not supposed to eat the lights, Elodie," You smiled at her, watching as she pouted and crossed her arms. "Now, how are the boys getting on? Are you two going to sort these lights out or do I need to get involved?" You raised your eyebrows at Charles and Jules, the two of them looked away from you, slightly embarrassed, more from your husband, that he hadn't managed to untangle the lights.

"Mama, I tried to tell daddy!" Your son ran to you, barrelling into your legs. "I told daddy we need to hurry or Santa's gonna be here and then the tree isn't going to be done!" He whined, making you laugh. "Maman it's not funny!"

"You're so funny, Jules," You picked your son up, holding him at your hip opposite his sister. "You two go and sit with daddy and help decorate the tree while I untangle these lights." You kicked the lights to the side as you walked over to your husband, placing your children down beside him.

"I think that Elodie made them slippery enough for you, cherie," Charles said, nodding to how your daughter had previously been attempting to eat the lights. You rolled your eyes and shook your head at him. 

"I didn't see you trying to stop her, Cha," You playfully scolded him, making him blush and look away from you. You worked at the lights for a couple of minutes, having gotten bored of helping her dad and brother decorate the bottom of the tree, Elodie made her way back over to you, plopping herself down onto your lap. "Elodie, Schatje, you need to stand up for just a second so that mama can untangle the last light." You told her, gently patting her back so that she would stand up.

"Bored mama," She pouted, shaking her head as she stood up, peering over to watch your hands intricately untangle the lights.

"There, all done," You announced triumphantly, holding the string lights up towards your son and husband. "Okay, you two can pick out a special ornament that you want to put on the tree, okay?" Elodie and Jules nodded, running to dig through the box of sentimental ornaments - Neither you or Charles liked to overload the tree with the special ornaments, it wasn't that you didn't want the tree to look tacky, you just wanted the special decorations to have their moments, and you could tell the stories of what they meant when people asked you.

You and Charles carefully wrapped the tree with the warm lights, the tree instantly become the centrepiece of your living room, save for the log burner fireplace for the stockings hanging on it with the initials of yours, Charles, and your children's names.

"Maman, I want this one! It's uncle Max's car!" Jules called out, running over to you and Charles with the F1 car ornament, adorned in the red, navy blue and yellow colours of your brother's F1 car. Charles frowned, here he was, his own son, picking your brother's car over his - Charles' pout made you laugh, almost enough to drop the string of lights in your hands. "This my favourite car!"

"What about mine, Jules?" Charles asked, crouching down in front of his son, who shrugged and put the Red Bull ornament into his father's hands. The two of you looked over as Elodie whined, stomping her feet. "Uh oh." He looked up to you, watching as you nodded and set your part of the lights down, Charles continuing to wrap the lights around the tree.

"Elodie, what's wrong, baby?" You asked your daughter, kneeling down in front of her and placing your hands on her shoulders. She sniffled as she tried her hardest to compose herself, although you had told her that she didn't need to, that it was okay for her to be upset and express her feelings.

"No find daddy car," She choked out, crying into your shoulder as she fell into your arms. You rubbed your daughter's back soothingly, your heart breaking at her apparent distress.

"Shhh, it's okay, my love, it's all okay, I'm sure that we'll find daddy's car, why don't you let mama look, hm?" She sniffled and nodded, holding onto you as you looked through the box for the red car with the number 16 on it. "...See, there it is, baby. It's okay, you take it and go and give it to daddy." You smiled at her as she toddled over to her father, holding the red car up to him. Charles grinned as he took the car from his young daughter, placing it on a branch of the tree that remained empty.

You sighed in relief, happy that you were able to put a stop to your daughter's tantrum before it got any worse. You grinned as you stood behind your small family, watching as Charles bent down to pick Elodie up, you giving her the star as her father guided her hands to the top branch of the tree, placing the star on top of the branch.

You smiled as you picked Jules up, holding him on your hip as you stepped back with Charles, Elodie on his shoulders as the four of you admired your hard work. "You know, it actually looks really good, considering we had a one year old trying to eat the lights." Charles laughed, almost wincing as he felt his daughter tugging on his hair.

"I think that's the best that we've ever had it, Cherie."

"The best so far, my love."

[toxicanonymity]

This is a bit weird but hear me out. Truck driver Joel. Having to sleep in cheap motels and inside his truck. Picks up sweet, pretty hitchhiker reader, who ends up travelling the country with him and fucking in his truck, those cheap old motels, and in the middle of nowhere.

Giving joel handjobs and blowjobs while driving and joel fingering her while driving...

🫠🫠🫠

Trucker Joel. . . I love it. Sexy and fun.

A/N: Feel free to add HCs or write him. @tashibum sent the middle pic one time and I love the vibe. 💛

Fics - tag me if you write one and I'll add here

Overloaded by @katiexpunk

HCs

On the first day, you're riding in silence, and he keeps looking over, checking you out. To make conversation, you ask him about his load. His neck gets pink, and he clears his throat. "my, uh--" before telling you what's in the trailer.

You get a kick out of him being flustered so later you ask him what he's gonna do with his load. When he's flustered, he adjusts his net hat (his curls stick out under it).

He's proud of his truck. It's humble but he takes good care of it. He's made the cab cozy, but you can tell he did it himself, there isn't much of an eye for design. There's definitely only one bed.

You're fixing the fitted sheet on the bed in his cab and there's a bottle of lube under the corner of the mattress.

He has a TV screen set up near the bed and offers you can stream something but it accidentally opens to porn.

The first time you stop at a motel, he takes a shower, slicks back his hair, and puts on a nice t shirt and belt, and even foregoes the hat. He takes you to eat at a diner.

He doesn't like belts though. Before the motel room door is even shut behind you, he takes his belt off with one hand in one swift motion. He does a double take at your face and can't help but smile to himself at the effect it has on you.

When you're sucking him off and he's about to cum too early, he's like "whoa, back it up now, darlin'."

Maybe he calls you bambi cause he almost hit you like a deer before picking you up.

You might have to cockwarm him in the driver's seat sometime.

He gives you back-to-back cream pies, admires the mess, and says "damn near got you bundled out" (loaded to max capacity).

feel free to add or write

[cherie-doll]

𓆩♡𓆪 Headcanon: Them As Parents #2

𐙚 Ghost, Soap, Gaz, Alejandro, Phillip Graves, Keegan, König, Horangi, Nikto

𐙚ྀ ͜ ͡ ︶ Added Nikto this time + his is a little longer bc I didn’t add him the first time

Ghost

Lost the kids at ikea once

The way he was so unbothered too

He’s so nonchalant about it because he’s confident that the children know better and are capable of taking care of themselves

If anything he’s a little anxious about your reaction if you found out

So when an employee notices Simon frequently turning his head, eyes roaming around they approach him

When Simon told the employee he had lost two little kids the employee was more concerned than him

Soap

When you leave the kids home alone with their father it’s almost worse than if they had been left alone

He is NOT a trusted adult

If you don’t leave a large enough pot of food for them Soap will order whatever the kids want to eat

Unfortunately for you, his sons inherited his big appetite

You come back home, groceries in hand gawking at the boxes of takeout set all over the table

“Johnny, I said I wouldn’t be long at the store…”

“Sorry, got a bit hungry” he responds while stuffing his face

Gaz

When going to the store he likes getting matching outfits for his girls

He’ll overload the cart with an assortment of cute bows and hairclips, pretty dresses, and adorable little shoes

When going out, he carries a backpack for each kid packed with a sweater in case it’s cold, comfy shoes incase they lose one, and snacks for when they’re hungry or fussy

He gets so excited when he’s there to witness his baby’s first everything, records it on a calendar and you best believe he’ll never forget those small milestones

Alejandro

When he’s cooking meat on the grill outside he raises his head to watch the kids play in the yard

His love language is calling them over to give them a piece of roast meat to taste

When the kids were old enough to drive he first taught them with a riding lawnmower because he didn’t trust them with his truck

He likes to be mean to his kids (in a loving way ofc) and play pranks on them

Phillip Graves

He can be stern at times but most of the time he’ll spoil his kids rotten

Especially his daughter

When she asked for a pony he almost decided to move to a house with 3 acres for a couple of horses

You reasoned with him and instead settled to take your daughter to weekly horseback riding lessons

Keegan

One of his favorite things to do is figuring out what features of yours and his he can find in his kids

“She’s got your smile” “He has your wit” “Your sass is apparent even in our children”

I bet he’s the type of carry his toddlers like a bag

He pays great attention to detail so he’ll immediately notice if something or someone upset his children

König

After he overcame his insecurity he was head over heels for the baby

Will constantly watch over your shoulder, taking in every detail of how you care for the children so he can do it too

Not wanting to spend a moment apart from you or your children

If he’s running errands he’ll take the kids with him

When his daughter was a few months old he used to bring her with him into the hardware store and proudly show her off

It would make his day when someone would tell him how adorable she was and how alike they look

Horangi

Imagine him with twins ૮꒰/ฅ//ฅ//꒱ა

He’s almost always carrying them

You argue with him over this because it’s made your toddlers used to being held all the time

He’d be a great girl dad, wouldn’t resist buying cute toys and kid makeup sets and letting them paint his nails and apply lipstick on him

Would walk around in princess high heels and bows whilst keeping a poker face

Nikto

He wants to be seen like a pillar, someone his kids can rely on and never fear for their safety

Though concealed, under the strong surface his heart pulsates and beats the moment he’s handed the squirming bundle at the hospital

A mix of emotions swirls underneath his facade, the small face he’s staring at is his flesh and blood and he can hardly believe it

Strives to create a secure ambience at home for his little ones to grow up in

He wishes he could shield them from all harm

On mornings when he’s supposed to rest, the kids will sneak into your bedroom and crawl into bed between you

He groans, feigning annoyance, but scoops them in his strong arms chuckling as they squeal and giggle

[katluvr999]

Stress Relief ; kento nanami 🔞

♡ cw ; husband!nanami x afab preg!reader, oral sex (fem. receiving), fingering, talking thru it, mdni !!!

♡ author's note ; this is my first text ever chat ☹️ pls go easy! I'm always open for criticism and suggestion, happy reading! <3

♡ word count ; 1k

♡ not proofread

after you and Nanami got married, he would tend to find any and every excuse to come home early. and now that you're pregnant, it gives him all the more reason to leave everything and take care of his beloved wife.

even though you're just in your initial stages of pregnancy, kento never lets you do any chores around the house.

cooking? he'll make your favourite dish. laundry? done and folded. cleaning? the house is already spotless. groceries? arranged in the fridge, just how you like it.

he would rather get crushed by a meteorite than let you, the love of his life, lift even a finger.

sure, he still went to his job and did his time of corporate slavery, but he'd be back 5 minutes tops if you'd call him.

your belly was finally protruding - which meant that your bottoms wouldn't fit you anymore. that bothered you a lot, and you hated how bloated and weird you looked. the constant reminder that there was a life growing inside you was terrifying too, and you always shied away from saying that to your doting husband.

as if he hadn't noticed already. Kento knows you like the back of his gentle hand. he saw through your micro-expressions, and though it was your idea to get knocked up, like you had playfully termed it, he never once held it against you. so when his precious wife was under pressure, he knew how to soothe that stress quite well.

Kento has you sprawled out on the bed, your back arching and relaxing as he presses slow, agonizing kisses on your sensitive bundle of nerves through your panties. he's been teasing you for so long, giving your thighs a multitude of lovebites and soothing kisses, leaving you in a trembling, blushing mess. you let out a mewl, your hands reaching down to gently hold onto your husband's soft blonde hair.

he, in turn, lets out a groan which vibrates through your weeping pussy. "use your words, please," Kento murmurs, his head leaning against your hold as his calculating eyes gaze up at you from your legs. "Please Kento," you give in to his request, "Use me already, I can't -" you cry out pathetically, which seemed to arouse him even more. "can't what, love? tell me so that i can pleasure you."

you couldn't take it anymore, and you jut your hips up against his face with a needy whine. he lets out a soft chuckle, resting the palms of his hands on your lower abdomen before lowering his head again. with his teeth he gently shifts the flimsy material of your panties to reveal your glistening wet core. Kento lets out a low growl of approval, his nose hovering over your puffy clit. "I'm surprised," he breathes, his hands gently molding

the plush of your inner thighs, "i never knew you get this wet just from my kisses."

kento is absolutely pussy-drunk. he starts with slow stripes from your twitching entrance all the way up to your nub, eliciting a shaky moan from you. slowly, as you both get used to the pace he speeds up, sucking on your clit gently and pulling away with a pop. "so perfect," he whispers, his tongue working easily between your folds to feast on your arousal, "my perfect wife. all mine."

your head pushes back against the mattress, and your grip on his hair tightens. it took all your willpower to snap your legs close again, the sensory overload was too much to bear. but then again, you didn't complain. you moan out his name in fervor, pulling his face deeper in your pussy. "so needy, sweetheart?" he mutters against your sensitive skin, and you nod quickly.

a soft gasp escapes your lips when you feel his fingers slowly tease your hole. "let me know if it hurts," he says, placing a soft kiss on your hip bone before coating his fingers with the mix of your arousal and his spit. two digits slip inside you with ease, your warm fleshy walls welcoming them with vigor. his eyes flicker from his hand to your face, paying close attention to the expressions you make to make sure you don't feel any discomfort. he'd immediately stop if there was.

he feels you clench around his fingers, the cool wedding band on his ring finger serving as a contrast to your heat. he curls his fingers against your g-spot, making you cry out in pleasure. you grip his bicep, your back arching off the mattress. "Kento, 'mso close," you whimper and beg. he takes your hand and kisses your knuckles, lowering his head again. "can you hold on a little longer, just for me?" he murmurs sweetly, which you know you can't refuse.

with a hesitant nod you accept his request, and he starts to thrust his fingers in and out slowly. you suck up the heat pooling in your lower abdomen, your body begging for that sweet release, but you didn't want to disappoint your loving husband now, did you?

"my pretty girl," he whispers, his lips latching onto your throbbing clit and sucking on it fervently. "k-kento! please, i-i can't!" you cry out as tears sting your eyes. your hands tightly grip his hair, which makes him moan out inside you. his fingers move at a faster pace, slowly adding a third to the mix.

he lets out a soft growl of approval, pulling away from the sensitive bud and placing a soft kiss on your thigh. "cum for me," he mutters, gently nibbling on the sensitive skin, "let me see you come undone."

you dont waste a single second, that delayed orgasm hitting you like a brick. your body convulses as you clench around his fingers and your head pushes deeper against the pillow.

"that's my good girl," kento whispers praises in your ear, very slowly pulling his fingers out and staring at your glistening release coating his fingers and dripping down to his wristwatch. something about that, got him aroused more than anything. placing a chaste kiss on your forehead his lips curl into a thin smile. "you did so well, pretty lady."

you cling to him again after the high fades away. what did you ever do to deserve someone like him? "kento?" you whisper his name, and he gazes lovingly into your eyes. "yes, my love?"

"you'll make a great father," you say, catching him off-guard. he stares at you for a beat, then with a wider smile, he pulls you close.

"and you'll be the best mother."

🎀

[w2sology]

morning scrunches, harry lewis.

summary: mornings with harry and baby bog

warnings: girldad!harry, cuteness overload!!!

waking up besides harry had quickly become one of your favourite things ever since the two of you began dating. his face being the first that you saw everyday was just so refreshing and bought you so much comfort.

today was no different, your hand naturally coming up to caress the side of your boyfriend's face as he slept peacefully. before you'd gone to bed, your head was on harry's chest but now, it seems the roles had reversed and harry's head was now on your chest, his arms wrapped securely around your body.

turning to the bedside table on your side, you checked the baby monitor, seeing your baby girl was still asleep.

using that as an excuse for a couple more minutes of cuddles, you inched closer to harry, feeling him readjust his head on your chest.

a few moments after, you heard harry groan, waking himself up after a good night's sleep. and like he did every morning, he searched for you, smiling through tired eyes once he found your beautiful face.

"morning, love," he rasped, kissing your cheek.

"morning, babe."

now that harry was up, you checked the baby monitor again, seeing your little sleeping beauty was wide awake, just feeling rather quiet this morning.

"d'you want me to go get her?" harry asked.

"no, it's alright, i'll get her."

the two of you often took it in turns to do the morning shifts, as you called them. one of you would tend to your baby and settle her down or get her ready for the day, whilst the other got to breakfast and making sure the rest of you were ready for the day.

walking to the nursery, you outwardly awed at the sight of your little bundle of joy, picking her out of her cot. the newborn scrunch was something you absolutely adored and would definitely miss as she got older.

"hello, my precious girl!" you cooed as she smiled a gummy smile, reaching for your face as you held her near you. "let's go say morning to daddy, hm?"

the first time you say harry interact with your daughter, you almost gave him another. he was such a natural with babies, people were surprised to find out he head a mild feat of them.

walking back to your bedroom, you saw harry had moved positions, his body now sat up against the headboard as the sheets rested around his waist, exposing his naked upper body.

he put his phone down as soon as he saw you and your daughter walk into the room, smiling so hard his cheeks were starting to hurt.

"look who's awake," he gushed as you handed her over to him, sitting right besides him. resting your chin on harry's shoulder, you watched how he interacted with your daughter, your heart swelling at the sight.

he kissed both her cheeks, watching as she squirmed and smiled at her dad's touch, her small hand holding his finger, grasping so tight as if it was all she knew.

"i'm gonna get started on breakfast," you spoke softly to harry, leaving as he nodded and kissed your forehead.

it was actually his turn to make breakfast, but seeing how occupied he was with your little girl, you were sure you could manage another day of making breakfast.

meanwhile, harry spent that time talking to baby girl about everything and nothing, things he did with her uncles lately, how big olive was getting and the playdates that they'd be able to have soon, things he'd seen that reminded him of her mother, how beautiful her mother was... literally rambling to an 8 week old about whatever came to his mind.

"did you know i actually wanted to call you bog? yeah, your mum put a straight end to that dream. you'll still be mini bog to me though," you heard as you came back into the room, laughing to yourself at the almost name of your baby girl.

"breakfast's ready," you mumbled against harry's skin as you kissed his cheek, giving your daughter one too. "oh look, you changed her! she's so adorable, i might cry."

"oh, please don't, you'll set her off again." harry rolled his eyes as you nudged him.

the next few moments were filled with a comfortable silence as your baby glanced between her parents, a serene look on her face.

"can you believe we made her?" you sighed.

"i can believe it, yes, because that's what happens when two people───"

"harry! gosh, i'm trying to be sentimental here." you groaned at his inability to be serious.

he laughed in response to your reaction, wrapping an arm around your shoulder as his other arm was being used to hold the tiny human. "i'm joking, i promise. but i get what you mean. like we're actually parents."

"still feels unreal."

"mhm. but," he said, facing you. "i wouldn't change it for the world."

humming at his words, you placed a sweet kiss on his lips, a hand on his cheek as you stared at him lovingly. "me neither."

[o-craven-canto]

Filters in the way of technologically advanced life in the universe and how likely I think they are

1. Abiogenesis (4.4-3-8 billion years ago): Total mystery. The fact that it happened so quickly on Earth (possibly as soon as there was abundant liquid water) is a tiny bit of evidence for it being easy. Amino acids and polycyclic hydrocarbons are very common in space, but nucleotides aren't, and all hypothetic models I've seen require very specific conditions and a precise sequence of steps. (It would be funny if the dozen different mechanisms proposed for abiogenesis were all happening independently somewhere.)

2. Oxygenic photosynthesis (3.5 billion years ago) (to fuel abundant biomass, and provide oxygen or some other oxidizer for fast metabolism): Not so sure. Photosynthesis is just good business sense -- sunlight is right there -- and appeared several times among bacteria. But the specific type of ultra-energetic photosynthesis that cracks water and releases oxygen appeared only once, in Cyanobacteria. That required merging two different photosynthetic apparati in a rather complex way; and all later adoptions of oxygenic photosynthesis involved incorporating Cyanobacteria by endosymbiosis. For all that it's so useful, I don't know if I'd expect to see it on every living planet.

3. Eukaryotic cell (2.4 billion years ago?): Probably the narrowest bottleneck on the list. Segregated mitochondria with their own genes and a nucleus protecting the main genome are extremely useful both for energy production (decentralized control to maximize production without overloading) and for genetic storage (less DNA damage due to reactive metabolic waste). But there's a chicken-and-egg problem in which incorporating mitochondria to make energy requires an adjustable cytoskeleton, but that consumes so much energy it would require mitochondria already in place. Current models have found solutions that involve a very specific series of events. Or maybe not? Metabolic symbiosis, per se, is common, and there may have been other ways to gene-energy segregation. Besides, after the origin of eukaryotes, endosymbiosis occurred at least nine more times, and even some bacteria can incorporate smaller cells.

4. Sexual reproduction (by 1.2 billion years ago): Without meiotic sex (combining mutations from different lineages, decoupling useful traits from harmful ones, translating a gene in multiple way), the evolution of complex beings is going to be painfully slow. Bacteria already swap genes to an extent, and sexual recombination is bundled in with the origin of eukaryotes so I probably shouldn't count it separately (meiosis is just as energy-intensive as any other use of the cytoskeleton). Once you have recombination, life cycles with spores or gametes and sex differentiation probably follow almost inevitably.

5. Multicellularity (800 million years ago?): Quite common, actually. Happens all the time among eukaryotes, and once in a very limited form even among bacteria. Now we'd want complex organized bodies with geometry-defining genes, but even that happened thrice: in plants, fungi, and animals. As far as I know, various groups of yeasts are the only regressions to unicellularity.

6. Brains and sense organs (600 million years ago): Nerve cells arose either once or twice, depending on whether Ctenophora (comb-jellies) and Eumetazoa (all other animals except sponges) form a single clade or not. Some form of cellular sensing and communication is universal in life, though, so a tissue specialized for signal transmission is probably near inevitable once you have multicellular organisms whose lifestyle depends on moving and interacting with the environment. Sense organs that work at a distance are also needed, but image-forming eyes evolved in six phyla, so no danger there (and there's so many other potential forms of communication!). Just to be safe, you'll also want muscles and maybe mineralized skeletons on the list, but I don't think either is particularly problematic. An articulated skeleton is probably better than a rigid shell, but we still have multiple examples of that (polyplacophorans, brittle stars, arthropods, vertebrates).

7. Life on land (400 million years ago): (Adding this because air has a lot more oxygen to fuel brains than water (the most intelligent aquatic beings are air-breathers), and technology in water has the issue of fire.) You're going to need a waterproof integument, some kind of rigid support system, and kidneys to regulate water balance. Plenty of animal lineages moved on land: vertebrates, insects, millipedes, spiders, scorpions, multiple types of crabs, snails, earthworms, etc. Note that most of those are arthropods: this step seems to favor exoskeletons, which help a great deal in retaining water. Of course this depends on plants getting on land first, which on Earth happened only once, and required the invention of spores and cuticles. (Actually there are polar environments where all photosynthesis occurs in water, but they are recently settled and hardly the most productive.)

8. Human-like intelligence (a few million years ago?): There seems to a be a general trend in which the max intelligence attainable by animals on Earth has increased over time. There's quite a lot of animals today that approach or rival apes in intelligence: elephants, toothed cetaceans, various carnivorans, corvids, parrots, octopodes, and there's even intriguing data about jumping spiders. Birds seem to have developed neocortex-like brain structures independently. Of course humans got much farther, but the fact that even other human species are gone suggests that a planet is not big enough for more than one sophont, so the uniqueness of humans might not necessarily imply low probability. (We seem to exist about halfway through the habitability span of Earth land, FWIW.) The evolution of sociality should probably be lumped here: we'll want a species that can teach skills to its offspring and cooperate on tasks. But sociality is also a common and useful adaptation: many species on our list (octopodes are a glaring exception) are intensely social and care for their offspring. I mentioned above that the land-step favors exoskeletal beings, which in turns favors small size; but the size ranges of large land arthropods and very intelligent birds overlap, so that's not disqualifying.

9. Agriculture and urban civilization (11,000 years ago): Agriculture arrived quite late in the history of our species, but when it arrived -- i.e. at the end of the Wurm glaciation -- it arrived independently in four to eight different places around the world, in different biogeographic realms and climates, so I must assume that at least some climate regimes are great for it (glacial cycles are a minority of Earth's history; but did agriculture need to come after glaciations? Maybe a shock of seasonality did the trick). And once you have agriculture, complex urbanized societies follow most of the time, just a few millennia later. Even writing arose at least three times (Near East, China, and Mexico), and then spread quickly.

10. Scientific method and industrialization (300 years ago): We're getting too far from my expertise here, but whatever. The Eurasian Axial Age suggests that all civilizations with a certain degree of wealth, literacy, and interconnection will spawn a variety of philosophies. Philosophical schools that focus on material causes and effects like the Ionians or Charvaka have appeared sometimes, but often didn't win over more supernaturalist schools. Perhaps in pre-industrial times pure materialism isn't as useful! You may need to thread a needle between interconnected enough to exchange and combine ideas, and also decentralized enough that the intellectual elite can't quash heterodoxy. As for industrialization, that too happened only once, though that's another case in which the first achiever would snuff out any other. I hear Song China is a popular contender for alternative Industrial Revolutions (with coal-powered steelworks!); Imperial Rome and the Abbasid Caliphate are less convincing ones. For whatever reason, it didn't take until 18th century Britain.

11. Not dying randomly along the way: Mass extinctions killing off a majority of species happened over and over -- the Permian Great Dying, the Chicxulub impact, the early Oxygen Crisis -- but life has always rebounded fairly quickly and effectively. It's hard enough to sterilize an agar plate, let alone a planet. Disasters on this scale are also unlikely to happen in the lifespan of planet-bound civilizations, unless of course the civilizations are causing them. A civilization might still face catastrophic climate change, mega-pandemics, and nuclear war, not to mention lesser setbacks like culture-wide stagnation or collapse, and I couldn't begin to estimate how common, or ruinous, they would actually be.

****

I have no idea how common the origin of life is, but the vast majority of planets with life will only have bacterial mats and stromatolites. Of the tiny sliver that evolved complex cells, a good chunk will have their equivalents of plants and animals, most of which may have intelligent life at least on primate- or cetacean-level at some later point. At any given time, a tiny fraction of those will have agricultural civilizations, at an even tinier fraction of that will have post-industrial science and technology. Let's say maybe 1 planet with industrial technology out of 100 with agriculture, 100,000 with hominid-level intelligence, 10 million with animal-like organisms, 100 millions with complex cells, and 10 billions with life at all?

[writeforfandoms]

Let It Snow

Find my John Price masterlist

This is for @glitterypirateduck winter challenge! I took inspiration from the song Let It Snow, because who wouldn't want to use this man as a source of warmth. Really.

John Price is your neighbor. Just your friendly neighbor. Nothing more.

At least, until the heat in your flat dies.

Warnings: Swearing, fluff, sweetness overload, really this is all just cute and fluff.

Word count: 2.5k

You still weren't quite sure how you'd fallen into this thing with John Price. You'd moved in to the flat next to his, the shared wall between the two of you giving you only hints of his life. Mostly, there was silence. 

But sometimes there was the rumbling of a deep, lovely voice. Singing. The muted sounds of a TV. Music. 

The first time you talked to him, you were coming back from a date that had ended badly. You still weren't sure whether to be angry or upset, and had settled on some potent mixture of the two. 

John Price was standing outside, shirtsleeves rolled up past his elbows, heedless of the chill of the evening. He nodded once to you, gaze sweeping over you. 

“Evening,” he greeted, neutral pleasant. 

“Hi.” You managed a smile. “Haven't had the chance to introduce myself yet.” You held out a hand to him, giving him your name. 

“John Price.” He shook your hand, firm but not painful. Quick. 

“Nice to finally meet you.” You glanced beyond him to your door, the temptation to cry rising as upset won over anger. “Hate to run, but…” 

“Of course.” He stepped back, out of the way. “Have a good night.” 

You bit your tongue to keep the bitter words trapped, simply nodding to him before stepping past him. Your hands only shook a little as you unlocked your door and stepped inside. 

You kept your emotions to yourself until you showered, hot as you could stand. Then you allowed yourself some release. 

After that, it became much more common to see him, at least when he was home. You passed him frequently when you came home, and once or twice he rescued you by getting the door when you had bags of groceries. 

The two of you circled each other, pleasant and friendly and not much else. 

Despite his charm, despite his kindness, despite his obvious good looks… you couldn't believe anything more. He was friendly, and that was all. He was neighborly, and that was all. 

Even if he was good-looking. Even if the way he looked at you made you both self-conscious and want to preen. Even if you developed a little crush on him despite your best intentions. 

And you held on to those thoughts all the way up until your heater broke. 

You stood in the middle of your flat, shivering, bundled up in layers and silently cursing the snow outside. And cursing the landlord, who promised he'd get the heater fixed… in a couple days. Three, or maybe four. But you'd be fine, right? 

Which left you seething and debating the merits of buying a space heater, if you could find one. It was late in the season, but maybe you'd be lucky… 

The knock on your door startled you, and you about jumped out of your skin. Who…? Frowning, you stepped forward slowly, hands trembling from the cold and nerves. 

John Price stood outside your door, arms crossed loosely in front of his chest. 

“John?” You blinked at him. “Can I help you?”

“Actually, might be able to help you.” He scratched at the hair on his jaw, brilliant blue eyes holding you captive as easily as breathing. “Heard something ‘bout your heater through the wall.”

You warmed, ducking your head briefly, even though you knew you had nothing to be ashamed of. “Ah. Heard that, huh?” You huffed a little laugh, shaking your head. “Sorry, I forget how thin these walls are sometimes.” 

“Don't fret,” John assured you. “I'd offer to take a crack at your heater but I might make it worse.” 

You smiled, torn between amusement and embarrassment. “It's fine, I think I'll just go find a space heater.” 

John paused, not moving from your doorway, one hand hooked at the collar of his shirt, gaze fixed on you. “Or,” he offered slowly, weighing each word as he spoke. “You can stay at mine.” 

You blinked. Twice. “...Beg pardon?” You must have misunderstood him. There was no way–

“I've got a second bedroom,” he said, shrugging, like it was nothing. Like it was that easy. “You're welcome to it. Be awful cold without heat.” 

You swallowed. That was… a lot. And far too generous. “I couldn't, that's too kind.” 

His lips quirked in a smile, the first real one you'd seen from him. “Yes you can,” he countered. “It's just a few days, yeah? Won't bother me, I wouldn't have offered otherwise.” 

You bit your lip, torn. It would be warmer to stay with him, and cheaper. “Are you sure?” 

“I'm sure.” He even nodded for emphasis, holding your gaze. 

“Okay.” You breathed in slowly. “Thank you, I appreciate it.” 

“Gather up whatever you need,” he said, something pleased in the tilt of his lips. “Just knock when you're ready.” 

“Thanks.” You waited until he stepped back and turned towards his own door to close your door.

Not that it helped at all with the temperature. 

Clenching your jaw and trying not to think about it, you grabbed a bag and some clothes. You weren't going to impose on him any more than necessary - you'd come back to shower and take care of your own things. And you'd be fine at work. 

Your first knock on the door was tentative, almost too soft. You shifted your weight from foot to foot, a little anxious. You knew enough about John Price to trust that he wasn't a crazy murderer, or anything like that. He'd always been friendly. 

You were mostly sure you could trust him. 

The door opened, warmth spilling out over your half-frozen fingers. John had shed his jacket, leaving him in a soft-looking shirt that clung to his chest in ways you tried not to notice. 

“C'mon in.” He stepped out of the way, ushering you in. You couldn't help but shiver as the warmth of his flat cocooned you, your skin tingling where it was exposed. “Bedroom's this way.” 

You followed him quietly, though you couldn't help but look around curiously. The flat was sparse but clean, walls mostly bare. Simple furniture in the main room, very little decoration. 

It felt a little impersonal… except for the book on the couch, the couple dishes in the sink. 

John led you back to the bedroom, nodding you inside. The bed was made up all in pale blue, with an extra blanket folded at the foot of the bed. Honestly, this was better hospitality than you'd gotten from some family members. 

“Thank you, really.” You paused in the doorway, still clutching your bag. 

He smiled again, easy as anything. “My pleasure. Get warmed up, I've got the kettle on.” 

You couldn't help but smile at his retreating back. He was too kind. 

It didn't take long to warm up enough to be comfortable, and you even shed a layer to be more comfortable. “Should I keep my shoes on?” You called from the doorway, uncertain. You couldn't recall if he'd been wearing any. 

“Nah, leave ‘em.” 

You kicked your shoes off but left your socks, padding out to the kitchen to a charmingly domestic scene. John stood with one hip leaned against the counter, mug in one big hand, another steaming gently in front of him. He was also wearing socks, thick gray ones.

“Got milk and sugar, if you'd like.” He nodded to the mug to be clear what he meant. 

“Thanks.” You fixed your cuppa and clutched it between your hands, fingers tingly-hot as they finally fully thawed. “Can I at least treat you to dinner?” 

He tipped his head down a little, smiling. “Won’t say no to that,” he murmured. 

Discussing food was surprisingly easy with him. He seemed happy to go along with whatever you wanted, although true to his word he didn't argue with you about paying. 

The first night passed easily, with bits of conversation between the two of you. You caught him looking at you more than once, something soft in his gaze. Like he couldn't believe you were here.

You warmed under that gentle gaze, the little embers you'd tried to smother in your heart catching and trying to grow. 

Two days passed in the same kind of ease. His flat was bigger than yours, and set up backwards as far as you were concerned. The second time you opened a door expecting the loo and got the linen closet you swore loudly. John just laughed at you, leading to a round of playful bickering. 

(“It's not my fault that this is all backwards!”

“Well perhaps if you looked before you opened the door you'd realize it was on the wrong side.”

“Perhaps if this place was oriented correctly I wouldn't have to.”) 

The two of you got along quite well, better than you'd expected. Better than you'd ever hoped. The ease with which the two of you conversed fanned the little flames secreted in your heart. 

The fourth morning was clear and cold, faint light coming through the window in your room. You dressed, even more glad to be in John's nice warm flat when a perfunctory look out the window showed snow still falling. 

“Morning,” John greeted you, flashing you a smile, hair still a little rumpled from sleep. You tried not to be charmed. 

(It didn't work, you were hopelessly charmed by him.) 

“Good morning.” You couldn't help but smile at the sight of him. “How long have you been up?” 

“Couple hours. Tea?” 

You hummed your assent, though you drifted to the kitchen window to look outside. Snow drifted down in fat flakes, languidly coating the world in white. “How long has it been coming down?”

“Started in the middle of the night.” John pulled out the mug you were beginning to think of as yours. “Don't have to go anywhere today, do you?”

“Fortunately, no.” You shivered at the thought of having to go out in the cold. You kind of hated when it got this cold - the snow was pretty but ice made for treacherous commutes to work. “You?”

“No.” The mug clinked as he set it next to you. “Got everything I need here.” 

You turned, just catching the tail end of his teasing little smile as he stepped back. You blinked at him but didn't push, not quite sure if you wanted to know. 

Tea was perfect to keep you warm, and you settled near John. He shifted enough to press his knee to yours, and you just relaxed into it. 

He'd gotten you used to little touches over the last few days, and you didn't quite want to admit how much you loved it. 

“Care to make a day of it, then?”

You blinked at John, curious. “What do you have in mind?” 

“We could watch that movie you've been wanting to watch.” John's lips twitched in amusement. “More tea. Order in for lunch.” 

“You're going to spoil me,” you teased, although you were only half teasing. 

“Only if I'm doing it right.” He smirked, watching you as you ducked your head, fiddling with your mug. 

“You don't have to, you know.” You looked at him out of the corner of your eye, gripping your mug a little tighter so you wouldn't fidget with it. 

“What if I want to?” He tipped his head a little, watching you, blue eyes intense. 

You warmed under that look but resisted the urge to hide. “Well… that would be a different story.” 

Emboldened by your reaction, John moved closer, his thigh now pressed against the length of yours. “I'd like to spoil you for longer than just the few days it takes to get your heater fixed.” 

“Would you really?” You blinked at him, a little incredulous and a fair bit flattered. 

“I would.” One of his hands landed over yours, big and warm and calloused. “Would you let me?”

You swallowed. Part of you wanted to say yes, wanted to bask in the warmth of him, wanted to give in. But you were scared. There were so many things that could go wrong… 

“I don't know,” you whispered, your fingers curling under John's. “I could try.” 

“That's all I ask.” He leaned a little closer to you, so close he could probably feel the thump of your heart. “Just need to talk to me, hm? Tell me if anything is too much.” 

You nodded, swallowing, eyes wide as he held your gaze. “Okay.” 

“Good.” He backed off again, slowly pushing to his feet. “Go get the movie set up, I've got tea handled.” 

You blinked, feeling almost bereft as he stepped away. But you shook the feeling off, instead going to the couch to set up the movie. 

It only occurred to you long minutes later, when John brought your tea fixed how you liked, that you'd gotten very comfortable here very quickly. But so had John. He'd learned your preferences faster than you'd expected. 

“Warm enough?” He asked, voice a low purr as he settled next to you. 

“Yeah,” you answered, which was mostly true. Your feet were chilly, but that was manageable. 

He eyed you for a moment, and you had the feeling he knew exactly what you didn't say. But he didn't say a word, just grabbed a throw blanket off the back of the couch and draped it over your lap, fussing over you in a way totally foreign to you. 

Foreign… but nice. 

Halfway through the movie John paused it to discuss lunch. You ended up not ordering in - snow was coming down harder now, a thick coating of white obscuring streets and sidewalks. Neither of you wanted to go out, or force anyone else out. 

“We'll find something here,” you said with a shrug, unconcerned. “I've got food at mine, too.” 

John hummed, one arm settling around your waist. “Could do cheese toasties.” 

“Are you offering to cook for me?” You couldn't help your smile, or the way you leaned in closer to him. 

“Can’t make anything fancy,” he murmured, smile small but warm. “But I can do this.” 

That smile finally did you in. You kissed him. Nothing more than a brief press of your lips to his, just enough to feel the warmth and pressure, the gentle scratch of facial hair. He looked a little stunned when you pulled back… for all of two seconds. Before he kissed you again, one big hand cupping your cheek. 

“Is this okay?” He whispered when he pulled back, scant space between the two of you. 

“More than,” you assured him, hands resting against his chest. 

He hummed, the sound vibrating against your hands, and kissed you again. 

If this is what him spoiling you looked like… Well. You could get used to this. 

Even if it kept snowing like this. You weren't worried about being cold anymore. 

[mommydkatmarie]

Did you know this adorable little bundle of sunshine has her own Instagram? Follow Kitten's IG for a cuteness overload and to keep up with her adventures.

[ponderingmoonlight]

hi, <3

I've been working for a week now, so I don't have time to send you ideas, but there are SO MANY in my head.😭😭😭 I do not know what to do!!!I think you've already guessed that I'm in love with Nanami's dad!! He's so cute as the father figure.Imagine that Kento and his wife had their first child (a girl) and when Kento comes home to his daughter and wife, he sees that his daughter is wearing a small bodysuit with the text “I love daddy” and Nanami just looks and is touched. DADNANAMIDADNANAMIDADNANAMI🤤🫦

Okay I cried my eyes out while writing this and the cover sent me over the edge 😭 But THANK YOU SO MUCH for that precious request my love, let me know what you think <3

Nanami's reaction to his daughter wearing a jumper saying "I love daddy"

Pairing: Nanami x wife!reader; Nanami x fem!daughter

Word Count: 1,3k

Synopsis: After the incidents of Shibuya and his wife getting severely injured, Nanami is relieved to know his new family safe and sound. A little suprise from his precious wife seems to be enough to make a grown man cry in joy though...

Warnings: cuteness overload, this had me balling in the best way, might be the comfort you need this is canon

This is like a spin-off to the "Haruta seeking revenge on Nanami's heavy pregnant wife" fic - just click on it to read it first!

To say the last few months were a trip to heaven and hell at the same time would be an understatement. Despite the horror the Shibuya incident caused, even though the attack of Haruta left both you and your precious baby to risk, you somehow made it all out alive. Kento, you and the little angel of daughter you gave birth to exactly one month after Shibuya.

“I’ll leave in five minutes, regardless of what you have to tell me afterwards��, he sends towards the man in front of him who is asking him for the hundredth time about the Shibuya incident.

Finally, this way too long day is over. A day without seeing you the whole time, a day without his little one by his side. Due to the fact that delivering your baby girl was rather difficult after the severe wound wasn’t healed yet, Shoko prescribed strict bed rest for you within the next few months. You are barely able to stand up on your own, let alone go to the toilet. Most of the time you lay on the couch with your daughter by your side, watching your favourite show on TV until you greet him with the brightest of smiles.

But even though every minor step causes you visible pain and it’s hard for you to be on your own, you insisted on him continuing doing his job. After all, somebody has to take care of poor Yuji when you’re not around. And since Gojo is gone, whole Jujutsu High seems to be an endless mess. Yes, somehow you did eventually convince him of leaving you every single morning. Even though he hates letting go of you after what happened not long ago.

“I will leave now”, he announces before grabbing his suitcase and walking away without waiting for an answer.

In the meantime, it’s hard for you to sit still.

“Come on angel, please hold still for a second. We just need leg number one, leg number two, and…There you go!”

Your eyes almost overflow with joy, just staring at the tiny jumper your daughter wears makes you feel emotional all over again. Kento worked so much these last weeks, making sure that especially Yuji feels better after all those things that happened to him during Shibuya. And the fact that you’ve got severely injured…You’ll never forget the look of horror on his face when you collapsed into his arms, Shoko making it just in time before everything went black. For the split of a second you thought everything is over, that this will be the last time you’ve seen your husband. Oh, how you begged Shoko to save the life of your unborn child instead of yours, how you held onto Kento’s hand for dear life.

But seeing that bundle of joy laying in front of you, giggling happily while kicking her tiny feet in her brand-new jumper…You have to read the words all over again, the simple writing that says “I love daddy”. You were mindlessly scrolling through baby stuff when it caught your attention, thinking about how your beloved husband would react to it. There was absolutely no way out of ordering it.

“Daddy will love to see you in this.”

Just the thought of how Kento will react makes you kick your feet too, smiling down at your giggling daughter. Even though every little movement sends a wave of pain through your entire body, you try to stay as positive as possible. The discomfort will go away eventually, but the joy Kento has gifted you with will stay forever.

You can sense him before he put the key into the lock right away, heart pounding so hard that it feels like jumping out of your body.

“This is out time angel”, you whisper into your daughter’s tiny ear before sitting up and staring at the door in sheer excitement.

Nanami’s heart skips a beat when seeing you, looking so adorable dressed in his way too big t-shirt and sweatpants.

“What are you smiling about, sweetheart?”

The second he lays his eyes on your flawless face decorated with that breath-taking smile, he is lost all over again. But by now it’s not only you who awaits him. No, next to you curled up on the couch lays the little bundle of joy that makes his happiness complete.

“I’m just so glad your back! How-ah…”

A minor groan escapes your lips as you try to sit up straight, Kento instantly rushing to your side.

“Hey, think about what Shoko said. No need to rush, we have the whole evening for ourselves, darling”, he gently speaks out, his hands caressing your back moderately.

He hasn’t seen it yet, the blanket on top of your daughter hiding the jumper very well from him. But you can’t contain your excitement any longer. For a moment, you’ll have to put your aching aside.

“Actually, there’s something I wanted to show you…”

Your husband tilts his head to the side, a tender smile creeping up his face before he can stop it. You look so utterly excited that he can’t help but wonder what you mean.

“I wonder what leaves you this excited.”

“Well, there aren’t many things apart from you that get me excited”, you reply with a sly grin.

“But maybe you should take a closer look at your daughter.”

Your heartbeat picks up even more as soon as he looks at your precious little angel, hand gently brushing over her tiny cheek. Slowly, he lifts her off the couch, blanket falling down and revealing her new jumper. You hold your breath, your husband’s eyes locked onto her body.

“I love daddy”, he reads out loud.

His smile widens, eyes turning glossy in pure admiration. Oh, how much he adores you, how much he loves you in every single way. Why does he suddenly turn this emotional? Why does the sheer sight of his daughter with a jumper saying “I love daddy” make him tear up? The last months were so rough on him, it was never granted that he’ll be able to hold his daughter like this while you sit next to him. For a few horrible seconds, he thought he lost you both.

But now you’re here. And you really think that he’s a good dad.

“Words can’t express how much that means to me…”, he mumbles, pressing his daughter against his chest and closing his eyes.

“Oh, I didn’t mean to make you cry love”, you instantly reply while getting up from the couch way too quickly.

Your husband catches you just in time before you fall back onto the couch, his free hand wrapped tightly around your waist while his daughter rests against his shoulder.

“You are the best thing that ever happened to me, (y/n). And to top it all off, you gifted me this beautiful daughter. You are so strong, I am so proud of everything you have done these last few months.”

His words his you in your feelings with full force. Despite the fact that you are a strong and composed woman, tears start to stream down your face like a waterfall while your gaze never leaves his. God, how much you love that man, how thankful you are for the fact that he survived. And for the bundle of joy that rests against his shoulder. You never thought your life would turn out like this, eventually. A snack of a husband holding you tightly in one hand while carrying your daughter with the other.

“I love you, Kento Nanami. That jumper says nothing but the truth”, you hush lightly.

Oh, Kento will definitely make sure of that.

“I love you too, sweetheart. And you, my little angel.”

Tags: @arehzhera @ploylulla @tzubaki @beatrexworld @kenstarsworld @dazaisdick @hellkaiserinphoenix  @lauv4chuuya @shadowfoxey @starlightanyaaa @sindela @kayleegomez @sunshine7queen @magalimachete @mokoartpost @gatitam @idontknow1123 @creative1writings @sanicsmut  @mynahx3 @sad-darksoul @chilichopsticks @hellkaiserinphoenix @chuyasthighs0 @ynackerman9499 @keepghostly @wxwieeee @lovelyluna1 @froufrousnowman @hidazinie @tomiokathedepresso  @gojosrealwife  @coffeeluvr96 @mahi-tamashi @weebotaku21 @chaoticwinnercupcake @lees-chaotic-brain  @risuola  @sugurulefttesticle @wordskeeper @baku2345 @polarbvnny @ruixrei @bam-bam-bam-bame-blog @lavenderdrxp @localhehecat @alicerhr @kayleegomez

[wukong-s-only-wife5000]

Heyo! So I was thinking about that baby fever thing I @ed u in earlier and I was thinking if maybe u could do some headcanons on what u think uh Reborn Wukong would be like as a dad to his newborn baby? I feel like he’d be such a good dad 🤭☺️

Reborn!Wukong: Papa Canons.

Pair: dad!Wukong x mom!Reader.

Content/Trigger Warnings: cuteness overload, my 1st shot at writing headcanons.

Authors Notes: CAN I JUST MENTION HOW FUCKING CUTE HE LOOKS IN THIS PICTURE?! LIKE.... OMFG, MY HEART. Anyways, IDK if I did it right, but this had to be the first one I did. The idea has been plaguing my mind since I saw both this request and this art you're referring to. Might make a part 2, but I dunno.

Hope you enjoy! Wanted to make this extra special bc your support and feedback always make me smile. <3

The audacity of this child to look so much like you. 

Looked at his precious baby from over your shoulder just as the little angel opened their eyes and made eye contact. Made his world stop and his stone heart explode.

He was so cautious and a bit nervous when you asked him if he wanted to hold the baby. The second he had that infant in his arms… his world stopped for the second time.

They had his eyes, tail and little fuzzies all over, but they had your facial features, complexion, and hair colour that matched the fur.

If you thought he was overprotective with you, get ready for him to be the most vicious Monkey King there ever was. 

He always made sure that you held that baby from beside him, not letting the child out of his peripheral vision. 

Someone tried to kidnap the child once… let's just say they didn't live to regret it.

He tells the little one a lot of stories when they can't sleep, only if you and the others are asleep, though. He doesn't need you or Pigsy teasing him about being ‘adorable’ and all that nonsense, but he also doesn't want the little angel to disturb your sleep.

Sure he was lenient with forcing you to sleep regularly, but now? He made sure that an hour or two at most when the sun goes down, you and the baby are asleep. Whether that means he has to carry you both in his arms or not. If that became the case or even if your feet hurt too much to walk, then so be it.

Oh how he enjoys when such occasions do occur. Usually he’d carry your things so you could focus on the bundle, but when he has to carry you both, of course he forces Pigsy to carry them.

He loves holding you both in his arms, especially when you rest your head against his shoulder and tell him how much you love him. Thanking him for blessing you with your bundle of joy as you often did to her.

Whenever you camp out, too far from any village, he makes sure to make shelter for you and the baby near a tree to keep the little one out of the dew. 

Makes the nest with the best items he could find and if it’s not enough for the both of you, he runs off to find other things that are even better. 

If you pass a marketplace that sells anything soft? He ensures that the most comfortable ones are procured exclusively for you and your infant.

He enjoys watching you feed the bundle… cause… ya know. You're his wife. He also thinks the little sneeze they do every time they’re finished is absolutely adorable, and it melts his heart every.single.time.

He watches the baby closely when they reach the age to sit up on their own. He makes sure to be ready for when they fall over in case you're too slow to catch their head.

He loves the kid, sure, absolutely without a doubt… but sometimes he doesn't like it when all your attention is on the baby to the point you don't acknowledge him.

He's an amazing dad, but he’s an amazing husband and mate first. GIVE HIM ATTENTION, DAMMIT! 

He’s still the same possessive Wukong, of course he’d get jealous if even the baby gets more attention than him. Give him snuggles when you get the chance, a plus if you hold him and the baby.

He still often gets you little gifts and things he thinks you may like, especially since he knows how stressed you've been since you got pregnant. It’s his doing, so it was the least he could do.

When the baby holds his finger and gurgles with that furrow you frequently did, he tells them not to talk to him with that attitude. Something that makes you smile, trying your best not to laugh. Especially when he scolds you for passing on that attitude to his precious infant.

When the baby does it with that large gummy smile that also reminded him of you, his heart soar. He'd have that content smile that makes any hardship worth it. You absolutely love that smile the most.

Despite the times he would frequently tell them not to ‘talk’ to you like that, he liked to say it served you right for passing down your sass in the first place.

When the baby gets old enough to eat mushed up fruit? He collects the ripest and juiciest ones for the both of you. Yes, he will beat Pigsy to a pulp if the gluttonous pig tested his luck to try taking some.

[caramel-maveeato]

ᴅᴀʏ ᴄᴀʀᴇ ♡˚₊。。。

❧❤ SYNOPSIS: baby fever is in the air… ♡ Pairings/Love interest: So Mun x GN!reader ♡ Genre: fluff ♡ TW: So Mun being a husband material ♡ word count: 2k

Note: All characters originated from “The Uncanny Counter/Amazing Rumor” except for Y/n.

English is not my first language!!! Sorry in advance if I make any grammar and vocabulary mistakes.

“Just one day! One day and I’ll go pick her up as soon as possible!”

“…Fine. You better not leave her to me overnight again.”

A weary sigh slid out of you as your friend hung up. You were now completely left isolated in your living room with her four-month-old, round eyes gluing on you with wonder. 

It wasn’t like you disliked kids, you were just unsuited to keep one around when the responsibility and unexpectancy of being a counter were holding a knife to your throat. For example, what if you had to leave her alone for missions when some evil spirits popped up? Maybe you were just letting loose your overthinking habit, but this certain “job” was always full of unforeseen occasions. 

However, all uncertainty vanished as there was a pull on the hem of your shirt by small, chubby fingers. You felt your composure peace out at that sunshiny smile and it took you less than one second to haul the infant into your lap, internally collapsing in cuteness overload while texting Hana that you needed to take a day off due to “unpredicted inconvenience.”

You were prepared to spend your peaceful rest day until the sound of your doorbell abruptly chimed in just thirty minutes after you informed your teammate. You picked the sweetheart up and approached the front door, wondering who would possibly be standing in front of your house at 10 a.m. if it wasn’t the delivery man. 

Turning the brass doorknob with anticipation, you watched as the door revealed your boyfriend, who was standing under the warm glow of the mid-morning sun. A faint, knowing smile played on his lips, mirroring your own sense of elation at his arrival. 

“Hi…” So Mun trailed off upon seeing the bundle of happiness in your arms, paving the way for a vague gasp and a look of pure exhilaration to emerge: “Whose baby is this?!” 

“Mine, obviously.” He playfully pulled a face at your words, completely unamused by the apparent lie. You chuckled, explaining: “I ‘stole’ her from a friend. Some urgent family things came up so I’ll be in charge of this cutie until she comes back later. Why are you here, by the way?”

He gave the little girl a tiny wave before turning to you: “Just wanted to check whether or not something happened. Also Ms. Chu said if no evil spirits show up today, I can leave for the rest of the day too.”

As much as you refrained from displaying too-obvious excitement by your boyfriend’s presence, it already appeared crystal clear just how notably happy you‘ve turned: “Let’s hope no third wheeler would interrupt us.” 

When a baby was in sight, most people tended to head for the little chubby face before anything else. So Mun was not the exception. He stared at the girl—who was also staring at him without blinking—and carefully extended his index finger: “Can I?”

“Of course!” That was all it took for him to nudge his finger on one of her plump cheeks, smiling widely when the squishiness melted on the tip of his digit like a marshmallow.

“Oh my god!! Look at how soft she is!”

You laughed, enjoying how he went smitten over an infant before taking his hand: “Let’s go, you’re not going to stay outside all day just poking her face, right?” 

He followed your footsteps through the living room: “I can if you insist.”

“Luckily I won’t.”

All three of you settled down on the couch. The sweetheart chewed on her tiny thumb while she comfortably nestled on your lap, eyes glistening like two gemstones of fascination in return for the bright smile So Mun gave her. He leaned down to poke her cheek again: 

“What’s her name?”

“Bora.” You answered, chuckling at how joyfully he beamed just from Bora reaching out to grab his finger, cooing the softest of whispers in her own language on behalf of you calling her name. 

“Aww. Hi Bora! I’m So Mun-oppa, nice to meet you.” His voice unconsciously eased into a more childish, playful tone. Bora’s chubby hand grasped around his finger to explore the unique touch coming from someone she hadn’t seen before. The difference in size was laughable, yet exceptionally cute. 

The air was perfumed with melodic gurgles and murmurs, easily dissolving anyone’s heart into slush. You dipped your head to make eye contact with So Mun, directly bringing up the suggestion: “Do you want to try holding her? Like, holding holding.”

He pointed to himself, eyes slightly widened as if not expecting you to ask this: “You sure? I’ve never held a baby before…”

“Don’t worry, I'll make sure you won't drop her.” The answer slipped out as naturally and confidently as if you were speaking a matter of fact. You lifted Bora off your lap, moving over to him with unfaltering trust. 

Holding a baby was not only an act of affection but, furthermore, a timeless configuration of art. You started off by showing him how to support Bora’s fragile head and neck. Her little skull was cradled in the palm of his hand by his trembling fingers, which were loaded with the pressure of responsibility. 

You guided her body to rest against his chest with the utmost attention. The delicate yet soul-stirring feeling of carrying such a beautiful miracle built his heartbeat in synchrony with your own, each breath conveyed nervous euphoria. His other arm carefully curled to surround her lower body in a loving cocoon, embosoming the bundle of innocence with his warmth. 

With reverence, he let out a contented sigh while admiring how perfectly the girl fit in his embrace. His whispering voice became hushed and almost inaudible as if he were afraid that even a single noise could startle her: “She’s so adorable, what should I do now?” 

“I don’t know, keep holding her?” You had to fight for your life inwardly to not snatch some photos from such a heartwarming view, not knowing if you should focus on him or on Bora. 

“I am planning to do that.” He started swaying her with a slow, steady pace, a bit clumsily but wholesome nonetheless. 

You quickly grabbed some of Bora’s favorite colorful toys, wiggling them in front of her while you and him attempted to make silly faces. Her soft giggle sparked like a star during the night, quickly expanded into a whole sky of glitter. 

“Oh my god, we’re making her laugh!” Seeing the effect they had on Bora, he seemed to get even more excited than her. The laughter spread as vigorously as a wildfire that infected you with merriment, both at how precious the little cutie was and how hilariously you two were acting. 

Bora looked up at So Mun with her eyes like twin constellations of delight, following each of his movements with tireless attention. Her faint breaths against his skin as she bloomed a toothless smile, unbridled chuckles singing like a symphony that both of you couldn’t help but melt: “She seems to really like you. So this is the ultimate power of being handsome, I can tell.” 

He squinted with a smile, bashfully nudging your side as he caught you throwing a cheeky wink: “You’re embarrassing me…” 

“Just admit you like it, babe.”

The three of you spent the whole day eating and engaging in playful activities together (with you and So Mun occasionally getting into plushies-fighting battles, no plushies were harmed during the process) until your friend came back from her trip later that evening. 

You shared your introductions and goodbyes, ignoring an itty-bitty tug in your chest when you now ought to hand the sweetie back to her mother. It was hysterical how you unreasonably felt like a parent escorting their kid to kindergarten for the first time when this wasn’t even your kid. It was only because the day that had passed felt like such a magical adventure, and you admitted that never in your life was babysitting this memorable. 

How wonderful would it be for the moment to last a bit longer…

At least this statement earned an approving thumbs up from, believe it or not, Bora. 

Your friend cupped the little girl’s tiny torso, deliberately removing her from So Mun’s hug, her voice soothing and tender in hankering to reunite with her daughter after an exhausting day: “Let’s go home, dear. Mommy is so sorry for making you wait this long.”

Though, nothing seemed to successfully detach the baby from him, the pulls on her body converted into pulls on his sweater, which her hand was clutching onto with an impressively tight grasp. The more they tried to tug her away from So Mun, the more her cherubic face contorted unpleasantly as a warning before a tentative whimper was molded, and finally, a swelling cry.

‘Awkward’ was a minimization to describe the atmosphere, all three of the elders exchanged looks in puzzlement. 

Each whine intensified after each second, every sound was a sincere plea that tugged at the heartstrings. Your friend bit her lip, along with you not knowing if she should crack up or freak out at her daughter’s sudden change of heart: “Bora-ah, w–what’s wrong? Why are you crying?”

You noticed So Mun shooting you a panicked look before turning back to the little one, trying to mitigate her harrowing cry with the gentlest jiggles and back strokes: “Don’t cry… You’re a good girl, right? So don’t cry.” 

Bora clung onto him with an iron grip as she mewled, curling into a tiny ball and tucking herself against his chest. It was both sweet and surprising how fast she became attached to him, but it also didn't seem like the right time to laugh so you only let out a quiet titter, moving your attention back to her tubby fingers and trying to unhitch them from his clothes. 

“Bora-ah, look at me.” He tilted his head to reach eye level with the girl, his voice consoling like a mellifluous lullaby and a murmur of the wind; you were unaware that, simply by watching, you were also struck with profound adoration: “Oppa promises we’ll see each other again, okay?”

It took them about 10 minutes to separate her from So Mun. And this was obtained as solid proof that your boyfriend wasn’t just good with kids, he could even mesmerize them without acknowledging it. 

During that teary-eyed leave-taking, you spotted your friend gesturing something with her mouth to forward a nonverbal message to you, which you recognized as:

“He’s a keeper.”

Heat blazed on your cheeks, but that didn’t stop you from pridefully accepting the comment: “He sure is.”

Bonus:

It was undeniable that Bora has grown to be significantly bonded with So Mun since the time they first saw each other. But as her uncertified “daycare provider,” you were still proudly her favorite person in the house every time she came over. 

Your gut clenched as you contained your laughter, pretending not to notice your boyfriend’s adorably sulky face and instead pouring all your affection onto the cutie, kisses freely landing on her forehead.

From his direction, a heavy exhale filled in your ear yet you were too invested in the act to drop it. You soon heard some faint sounds of motion before a weight pressed down on the side of your shoulder, lovable curly hair chaotically snuggling on your shirt:

“Love me, too.”

“C’mon, it’s just Bora.” You burst out giggling and held the little girl closer in your arms just to tease him. 

“But you’ve been ignoring me, you know. Can you at least make it equal for both of us? I mean, she’s very cute but…” He pouted, intentionally or not flashing his puppy eyes at you as he mumbled: “Give me attention, too.”

Your speech was replaced with a pause. At this time, you had stopped questioning why merely a small moue could cause such an enormous impact on you that it was no longer practical to keep up with your game. You wasted no time wrapping your free arm around So Mun, drawing him into a side hug where all three of you now huddled into an enclosed position, sharing the same connection and same sentiment: “Damn… Now you’re the one being too cute.” 

“Am I?” So Mun grinned, gleefully reciprocating the hug before adding: “By the way, don’t “damn” in front of Bora.”

“She’s not gonna understand.”

[she-walks-on-starlight]

You Ruined Me (Do it Again)

a/n: the smut has arrived! Enjoy ;) - ✨

Warnings: smoking, possessive!sevika, SMUT: slight public sex, choking kink, biting, fingering, oral sex, strap-on sucking, strap-on referred to as cock, strap riding, spit kink, praise kink, light muscle kink, ab riding, sexually explicit teasing.

Summary: Your first night out in a while after leaving your cheating ex does not end how you expected it to...but then what did you expect, going to her club?

Word Count: 2.2k

18+ | MEN AND MINORS DNI | 18+

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Final

The journey to Sevika’s place was a short one, but she didn’t waste a single second. The taxi driver mercifully kept his eyes on the road despite the filthy display occurring in his backseat. No doubt Sevika’s reputation preceded her, and he wanted to keep his teeth.

It was like no time had passed. You were melting in Sevika’s hands, her lips on your neck as she marked you again and again. Her hand was now shamelessly in your panties, her fingers toying with your slick folds and her thumb rubbing gentle circles over your clit which was burning with pleasure. Sevika knew what she was doing, applying just enough pressure to make you feel good but not enough to make you come. She had a lot of plans for you, and coming early was not gonna ruin them.

“Your pussy’s so wet for me, princess…”

You gasped as she pressed harder on your clit. “I…I missed you, Sev…”

You’re interrupted by the taxi stopping at Sevika’s apartment. You hurriedly tumble out as Sevika pays him and tips him generously. You shriek and giggle as she picks you up like you weigh nothing, carrying you to the door, and letting you in. She doesn’t let you down, choosing instead to grip your thighs, lifting your dress higher and grinding into your pussy with her own. Your eyes roll back at the contact.

Sevika laughs huskily. “God, look how wet you are, princess…”

You blush, hiding your face in her neck and kissing her there. “It’s your fault.”

Sevika grinds into you again. “Damn right, princess.”

She carried you to the bedroom, throwing you roughly on the bed, dragging you to the edge. She eyes your body ravenously and you know exactly what’s running through her head.

“Wait, Sev, this dress was ex-”

You speak too little too late, as she tears the dress at the side, ripping it off you and leaving you in your black, lacy underwear. You huff petulantly at her but Sevika only grins in response, pleased to be able to see you.

“I’ll buy you a new one, princess.”

You’re about to retort when she starts to kiss you again, overloading your senses as her body hovers above yours. Her hand drifts to your cunt and starts to stroke your clit again, while her mouth wanders elsewhere. She’s all tongue and teeth, she’s been starved of you for too long. She tastes you reverently, her tongue tracing your hardened, perky nipples, her teeth biting into them gently at first before she abandons her restraint and bites harder. She repeats the process, lower and lower, until your body is littered with red and purple marks, reminders of where she’s been, where she intends to visit again. She breathes in when she reaches your pussy, you’ve always been intoxicating to her. She parts your folds, and licks one firm stripe from your entrance to your slit. Your moan is nothing short of greedy, trying to urge your cunt closer to her face, desperate for her tongue.

“Sev…please…I need you.”

She flicks her tongue against your clit, teasing you until your whimpering and begging has reached a crescendo. She grips your thighs, keeping them wide and you know you’re in for the fuck of your life. She is aggressive and forceful, her tongue roughly pressing against your sensitive bundle of nerves again and again with no reprieve, occasionally lowering herself to probe at your entrance and fill it with her tongue, tasting the nectar building there.

You were a mess, falling apart under her. Nothing else existed, just you and Sevika and the feeling reckless pleasure rushing through you. You knew you wouldn’t last much longer, after all the teasing in the car you could feel your release rising in your lower belly.

“Sev…I’m gonna come…please let me…”

Her response was more rewarding than you could have ever hoped. She increased her speed, and the pressure. You screamed, threading your fingers into her hair and bucking into her mouth as you came. She lapped up every single drop, she wouldn’t waste anything you gave her ever again. Crawling on top of you, she kissed you fiercely and you responded with equal vigour, tasting your salty sweetness in her mouth.

Her eyes darkened as you took one of her hands, relishing in the sturdy weight of it in your palm, and placed it against your throat, making sure to swallow hard so she could feel it. A low growl rumbled through her whole body, adding to the throb of your aching cunt.

“You’re playing with fire, princess.”

You placed your hand on top of hers, encouraging her fingers to squeeze. “So, burn me with it already.”

That was all the encouragement she needed. In one swift moment, her hand clamped tightly around your throat, while two thick fingers pushed into your folds, curling immediately to draw out a load moan from you. Still reeling from your last orgasm, and the powerful feeling of relinquishing control to Sevika by allowing her to choke you, it wasn’t long until you were chasing your second high, your eyes rolling back while she relentlessly thrust her fingers into you, kissing and biting every inch of skin she could reach.

“Fuck, y/n, you feel so fucking good around my fingers…”

You moan loudly, you know she wants to hear you. “You always stretch me out so good, Sev…”

“I’m gonna make you cum til you see stars, princess. Just you wait.”

She made good on her promise, your second orgasm ripping through you like a freight train leaving you a twitching mess on the bed. Sevika gently withdrew her fingers, and you automatically knew what to do. Opening your mouth, Sevika watched, enraptured, as you sucked your juices off her fingers.

“God, I fucking love watching you do that, princess.”

She lets you come down from your high, your chest heaving as you try to breathe normally again, feeling thoroughly fucked out. She relieves herself of her clothes, and you take the moment to admire her. She flexes her muscles, knowing you’re watching. You see her fiddling with something in her boxers, and your cunt starts to throb in anticipation.

“Is that what I think it is, Sev?”

She looks at you, eyes glinting mischievously. “That depends. You want it, princess?”

You say nothing, you just stand on albeit wobbly legs before kneeling down, and stick out your tongue, waiting obediently.

Sevika grips your jaw. “Fuck, look at you, princess. Let me help you get lubed up, angel.”

She spits in your mouth, which you eagerly swallow, opening your mouth and widening your doe eyes to beg for another. Sevika growls, her own cunt now throbbing as she spits down your throat and you thank her.

She released the strap-on she’d been packing, adjusting it so the base rubs against her swollen clit. The strap is thick, a deep purple colour. You recognised it well; you bought it for her birthday one year. The harness was a comfortable boxer-style so it didn’t cut into her muscled thighs, and it meant she could pack whenever she felt like it without being too obvious. The worn leather armchair in Sevika’s room creaked in complaint as she dropped into it unceremoniously, straightening her cock and beckoning you forward. You crawled towards her, parting her knees so you could neatly slot yourself between them before licking a long stripe from the base of the cock to the tip.

You were a well-trained girl, this was easy. This wasn’t your first rodeo, and you knew exactly what Sevika would want. Taking the entire shaft into your throat, you made sure to noisily gag around it even though you weren’t really choking.

Sevika was utterly entranced by you. “Yeah, that’s it, princess. Take that cock down your throat like a good girl.”

You complied, taking it all the way to the base, nudging your nose against Sevika’s mound. Your motions pushed the base against her clit, and her large hand taking a fistful of your hair just spurred you on. You started to suck, eagerly, your head bobbing up and down, taking as much as you could each time you descended. Sevika’s moans and grunts filled the small room, music to your ears.

“Fuck me, princess, you’re gonna make me come just doing that.”

You removed your mouth from her cock with a satisfying pop! and smirked at her, standing up and arching your body, her eyes watching your every move.

“Can’t have that, can we?”

Growling, Sevika surged forward, her muscled arms trapping you and dragging you onto her lap. You angled your hips forward, avoid the strap and grinding your cunt on her abs instead. Trailing your tongue up her neck, you groaned in pleasure as the muscle flexed under your touch. You removed yourself from her neck and focused on rolling your hips. Her abs were as glorious as ever, toned to perfection and hard as rock. Like her neck, they tensed as you pressed yourself into them, teasingly at first. Then unyielding hands were pushing down on your hips, and there was no escape. Moans and whispers left your lips with abandon as Sevika’s well defined abs tickled your clit deliciously, bringing you to the brink.

Sevika grunted out a laugh. “God, you have such a muscle kink, y/n.”

You laughed with her breathily. “Can you blame me…look at you…”

You felt the tip of the strap near your entrance, Sevika’s eyes heavy with lust but always asking, always considerate. You gripped the strap underneath you and angled it towards your leaking cunt, ravenous for Sevika’s cock to fill you. As you start to swallow the strap, your pussy hungrily drawing it in, you feel Sevika’s arms wrapping around you, bringing you closer for a heated kiss.

“Don’t worry, princess, I’ll be gentle…”

You dig your nails into her shoulders, raking them over her back, invoking a shudder and a carnal groan from Sevika. You sunk down more, taking her cock until she was hilted inside you.

Your voice, cracking from your screams of bliss, comes out in a whisper as you start to ride her. “Don’t you dare.”

It’s been so long since Sevika’s been inside you, but your pussy takes her cock like it’s what you were born for. You speed up your pace, riding Sevika roughly as she grips the arms of the chair, a determined look creeping onto her face. Your own face flushes with delight, you know what’s coming. In a swift motion, she’s reversed your positions, now you’re in the chair, your knees pushed back as she starts to pound roughly into your cunt.

She hasn’t lost her skills, the way she fucks you open, pushing your knees open so she can go deeper with each thrust. She wasn’t wrong, you’re certain you’re seeing stars each time the strap pushes into and kisses your cervix. Her face is filled with concentration, trickles of sweat rolling from her hairline down her face, down her neck. You’ve seen a more beautiful sight, and you urge her to fuck you harder, faster.

“Oh, fuck…keep going Sev…fuck me into this chair!”

“You always take my cock so good, princess…your pretty little pussy swallows it all…might have to get a bigger one for you next time…”

You know Sevika’s close herself, her iron clutch on your hips is bordering on painful and her bucking thrusts are becoming wilder, more frantic. You’re loving every second of it.

“C’mere Sev, kiss me…bite me…”

Sevika leans down, attacking you with a bruising animalistic kiss that has you both gasping for air. As you recover, she nips your bottom lip hard, drawing blood. Her eyes widen for a moment, until you lick the blood away and moan loudly in her ear.

“Fuck, princess, that was so hot…”

You’re so close now, heat roiling in your belly and your cunt clenching tightly around Sevika’s cock. She’s nearly there too, her breaths ragged and her legs beginning to shudder. You drag your nails down her back, scratching deep and hard. She has one hand at your throat, angling your face away and exposing your neck. The other hand is pressing into your clit, rubbing in frenzied motions, sending your orgasm hurtling to the edge. All it takes is for her to bite in your neck with brutal force, and you’re squirting all over her cock, your pussy giving her everything it can. The sight of you creaming all over her strap sends Sevika over the edge, roaring and thrusting into you one final time as she comes, soaking her boxers, her grip on you unwavering as her orgasm courses through her. Seconds pass, minutes too as the two of you breathe through your highs, still connected and holding onto each other like lifelines.

You whine when Sevika pulls out of you, your cum still dripping down your thighs. You feel fucked dumb, barely registering Sevika leaving to use the bathroom and returning with a warm, damp washcloth. She’s gentle, cleaning you up and dressing you in a pair of her boxers and an old shirt that smells like her woody cologne and cigarettes. She guides you into a comfortable position in the bed, climbing in herself and wrapping herself around you. She’s only wearing a clean pair of boxers, heat pleasantly radiating from her arms and chest and seeping into your skin. She kisses you softly in the space behind your earlobe and your eyes flutter closed.

The last things you hear before being lulled into sleep is Sevika murmuring into your ear. “I love you, my sweet princess. I never stopped, and I never will. You’re mine, and I promise I’m yours.”

Taglist:

@ion-news

[onlyyvette]

TF NSFW Headcanons #3 - Ratchet

warnings: sub/bottom Ratchet + oral fixation + praise + dumbification + face sitting + body worship kink + manhandling + Ratchet is literally my wife + the love of my life right here<;33

a/n: ratchet's design when he came back from saving his boyfriend>>>

-> Frame Ratchet has a frame that attracted all sorts of mechs during his academy days. He's a boxy frame, a bit short but none the less attractive. He has a wide and heavy chassis and a wide midsection. His hips are wide and load-bearing, with thick powerful thighs to support them. I know I was praising Optimus' thighs in the last one but 100% Ratchet beats him in that department. He has a warmer frame than most mechs. Ratchet's berth partners love to push their helms onto his chassis, his midsection, his warm embrace, or his big thighs. They nuzzle into his frame while listening to his half-hearted grumbles, admiring the flush on the medic's face.

Ratchet's array seems to be average at first sight but don't let looks deceive you. Most of his berth partners get fooled by his standard valve, dark, plump lips with a pretty red node. But the moment someone slips their spike into Ratchet's valve, they had better prepared themselves or they might overload on the spot. Ratchet's valve clamps down like a vice once his partner bottoms out. His extra warm frame makes his valve run hot like lava, but it's only so much more pleasurable for the one spiking his. His greedy valve sucks in his partner's spike, unwilling to let go. While Ratchet moans lowly, his partner will be biting their own glossa trying to control themselves and to not start bucking into him like a wild mechanimal.

-> Oral Fixation Ratchet likes to suck things. Like, a lot. Something that will always get him in the mood is his partner rubbing a digit against his lip, and pushing into his intake slowly, slowly adding more as they watch Ratchet drool all over them. His optics glaze over, a fuzzy feeling filling up his processor. He's easily brought into a deep subspace as he noisily sucks on his partner's digits. The charming wrinkles on his faceplate soften as his body fully relaxes and leaves himself in his partner's care. While his glossa sloppily swirls around his partner's digits, his panel had since been retracted and his neglected valve is dripping wet. He's too far gone to even give his soaking pussy any attention.

-> Praise/Body Worship Ratchet would rather die than admit it, but he absolutely loves being praised and showered with affection. He may act annoyed when his partner sits him in their lap and begins caressing his body, but he can never keep up the act. Ratchet can't help but whimper as his partner's servos roam his chassis while the intake his on his throat cables leaving small dents on them, all the while they're murmuring sweet nothings into his audials. It's almost therapeutic for Ratchet. It just makes him feel so loved to have his partner run their servos all over his frame, dipping their digits into seams and pulling on bundles of wire that has his thighs trembling. Ratchet lets out small whines as his partner leaves sloppy kisses along his jaw, only for his noises to be swallowed up when his partner closes the distance between their faceplates. He just can't help but hope for the moment to never end.

-> Face-sitting With enough pestering, Ratchet will grant his partner's wish for him to sit on their face. He grumbles about how he's too old for this and how he's too heavy until his partner grabs him by the hips and pulls him to their intake. Ratchet whimpers as his valve is thoroughly eaten out, the mech underneath him lapping up all his juices. Ratchet's big thighs instinctively clamp down on his partner's helm, an embarrassing yelp leaving him. Yeah, maybe he slightly crushed the helm of the mech under him, but his partners know the risks. Anything is worth it to get a taste of Ratchet's valve. His partner will thrust their glossa into Ratchet's quivering hole and Ratchet will only be able to moan as his pussy is being ravaged, unable to tear himself away from the onslaught of pleasure he's receiving. He'll grind his hips into the intake he's riding, until he feels that familiar heat in his lower regions bloom. Even when Ratchet overloads with a loud cry, his partners stay glued to his pussy, lapping up all the juices from his valve. He'll protest weakly but will end up finding himself rocking his hips again, hoping to get another overload from the skilled glossa under him.

-> Dumbification This poor mech is so stressed out. During the war, he had to treat hundreds of thousands of mechs with gruesome injuries, and even after everything is "over", he just can't catch a break!. It's why one of Ratchet's favorite things for his partner to do is to fuck him dumb. It doesn't matter how his partner does it, with a false spike, a vibrator, he doesn't care. He just wants to be pounded so hard and deep, grinding on the ceiling of his valve and watching a slight bulge form, manhandling him into all sorts of positions and keep fucking him so stupid that he can't even create a coherent thought, let alone speak out loud. All that's filling Ratchet's processor is lust as he feels that wonderful spike just keeps slamming into his wrecked pussy until they overload in him once again, the transfluid in his hole barely having enough space to stay inside of him causing some of it to dribble out. He's slurring his words, making 0% sense as he's fucked silly. If you were to ask him what his own name was he wouldn't even begin to thin of an answer. All Ratchet can manage to think of with that fucked stupid processor of his is that he won't be walking for some time after that.