#overexplaining

[tacoposso]

oops, sorry fam. autism, yknow?

i want a girl with a short skirt and a looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong dick

[e114-6i11]

The question I ask myself daily tbh

[xxx-ang3l-w1th-a-sh0tgun-xxx]

i always feel like i over-explain things and i finally realise that it's for 2 reasons:

because i always feel confused and i wish that people would explain things to me in a simple way without assuming that i understand social implications, tone, etc (I usually don't understand ANY of this)

I'm often misunderstood by other people too. i say or do the "wrong" things ALL THE TIME so i try so hard to explain things in a way that gives people all the info instead of just a part of it soooo...

...I'm sorry for having a MASSIVE pinned post and I'm sorry for the occasional chunks of text explaining what I'm doing and why I'm doing it but i do this because i WISH that people would do the same for me

AND communication (especially online) is so hard!! people always misunderstand each other and get the wrong idea and I'd hate for that to happen to me/people reading my posts (i wouldn't want to accidentally offend or hurt someone!!)

i don't really know where I'm going with this but i guess i felt the need to explain myself (yet again) so thanks for reading this chunk of text!

[unwelcome-ozian]

[feketereszem]

[bizcochitomarmolado]

Cr. anxiety.positive

[gamertierred]

The Void is nothing

however The Void contains everything

Space exists in The Void. The blackness that surrounds the night sky is The Void we a blessed with at night.

the reason I'm focused on this is cause, I'm getting into classpects and I just feel the understanding of Void while related to the official definition is very much limited in it's understanding of the concept. Almost everyone's conclusion automatically is: nothing & secrets!!

But that ignores the other part of The Void is that like Light it can also contain everything. The Light reveals, The Void hides. How can it hide if there is only nothing? I believe those who weild the power of The Void see the everything hidden in the nothing. What that means obviously depends on class.

The mystery held in The Void is not only because we wonder how it could contain nothing, but what might actually be inside that percieved nothingness.

Honestly, I could be overthinking this completely and I know homestuck deep dives are a huge throwback but rereading the series and digging further has got me thinking.

[lavendertowerarchives]

When I say I "can't talk to people," I mean many things. It's a gross oversimplification of a very complicated set of circumstances, some of which are not always present. I'm trying to rid my vernacular of it, but it seems to be what people (those less inclined to understand) understand best.

It would take many things going wrong for me to actively try not to talk to a friend. The extenuating circumstances required for me to not enjoy listening to a friend talk would be not fully understood by me, myself. For people I don't know well or at all, general nervousness about performing for them can get in the way of initiating, but I would only attempt escape from the conversation if I felt they were only talking to me out of courtesy. Of course, I could be wrong in my assessment, but that's always the case. At least I made a judgement, no matter how flawed.

When I say I "can't talk to people," I mean I lack the mental faculties (space, speed, depth of knowledge, experience) to adequately respond to their recent comments with comments of my own which move the conversation forward in a non-trivial manner. That's a mouthful, even for me. I would love to be this verbose, but even this statement "requires" clarification. Everything I say "requires" clarification, including this. By putting "requires" in quotes, I intend to instill a sense of self-percieved falsehood in the word. Whenever I give a statement about myself, I feel "required" to add to it, since I feel that if the listener has not only an inadequate view of me as a person, but could have garnered a wholly incorrect view, too. I value the listener's opinion too much to be "okay" with them having an opinion of me that could be built off misinterpretations.

When I'm nervous about my ability to perform (entertain, be useful, etc) for someone, I slip back into an unfortunate pattern of treating the conversation as turn-based combat. Every word they say becomes ammunition for the next thing i say. I struggle heavily to rekindle or start conversations, since my inspiration is simply extinct. It isn't a skill I have. I don't know where to start, I don't know to just... Think of something to say to them. If I say something random, purely random, that wouldn't work, because all I think about is either things I want to do that I dont think they'd enjoy or just straight up pleasing them. Even if I picked something from our surroundings to comment on, I fear I'll be seen as desperate (which I most definitely am). If I told them the whole truth of me being nervous and not knowing what to talk about since I just want them to like talking to me so that they talk to me more in the future... I dont know, I just don't know if the other person wants me to be that vulnerable to them. They didn't ask for it, and they sure as hell haven't been vulnerable to me.

All of this discordant ranting, just to explain why I'm not trying to talk to people. The view from outside shows someone isolating himself. The view from inside shows too much deliberation to come to an actual conclusion. This isolation isn't on purpose. It's like learning how to walk while your legs change shape ever couple seconds.

[domesticated-whores]

hello, I've decided to do a thing that no one asked for, solely for myself. and that is heavily over-analyzing random bullshit about myself. starting with

over-analyzing the fuck out of my gender

get ready for so much useless information about the inner-workings of how I identify... longish post.

I think a lot (if not most) nonbinary/genderqueer people have a simplified gender that they publicly identify as and a different, more complex gender that they identify as internally or in queer-specific spaces.

I'm pretty open in general about being genderqueer. I don't really identify as nonbinary, it isn't my preferred term for what I am, but since I understand that it's a more common term that most people outside of queer spaces know at least at a surface level I'll use it sometimes. I don't usually get any deeper than that. I'll tolerate she/her pronouns (I'm afab and generally feminine, and I'm incredibly aware of that), if asked for my pronouns (rare, I'm very feminine presenting) then I'll say "I'm cool with anything, slight preference on they/them" because that's a lie, but it's simple and I don't care quite enough to fight anyone on it. I was out as he/him transmasc for a little while before it got to be not worth it to explain presentation =/= gender or trying to look uncomfortably masc in order to be taken seriously, so there are still people that use he/him pronouns for me irl which is nice, but I don't get *enough* dysphoria from being misgendered to try to get others to use them.

But I do have some specific shit for my gender, also. I've been studying the hell out of this shit for maybe 10 years. I'm autistic as fuck, I like researching and labeling and categorizing things, so I put a lot of thought and reflection into my gender and I really have no place to share it because no one really cares to have me deep-dive into the details for them.

First and foremost, I'm cassgender. In case you don't know what that is, it's when someone feels indifferent to their gender or generally feels it's unimportant. Different from something like agender because cassgender people still can *have* other gender identities, it isn't lack of gender identity, it's just that there isn't a super strong connection to it.

To me, I don't care if I'm misgendered really at all. I do have a preference on how I'm referred to, I do have a gender, but I also don't really think it matters in the grand scheme of things. If it's more convenient to me, I have zero issues pretending to be a cis woman. Am I? No. But I don't think much would really be different if I was, so I don't see why it really matters. I personally use almost all "gendered" words in a gender-neutral way (unless someone tells me they're uncomfy with it, where I still see the words themselves as gn but respect people enough not to use it for them), I understand gendered connotations but genuinely fail to see how they matter. Again, full respect that they matter to most people, but I personally don't see it so I won't act like I do.

Even when I did care more about my gender identity and being out publicly, it wasn't because of strong attachment to my gender. It was more of a sense of "I researched for so many hours finding the right labels, I'm going to use them openly dammit!!"

I'm also a transmasc femboy. I use he/him pronouns for myself and generally prefer those (though, again, I'm cool with any), but I'll use almost any gendered terms for myself interchangeably/by situation. For example, I tend to prefer feminine familial terms (I'm my cats' momma, I'd be an aunt if my brother had kids in the future, etc.) while I usually opt for more masculine basic terms (man rather than woman, masc pronouns, boyfriend if I'm in a relationship, etc.) and alternating on terms of endearment or authority (god/goddess, sir/ma'am, daddy/mommy, prince/princess, king/queen, etc.). If it's in lighthearted/meme terms, anything flies (girlie, "I'm just a girl," feminine urge, "girls don't want men, they want--" etc. isn't misgendering because it's silly and fun).

I'm afab, feminine as hell, and not really looking to transition medically at all, so I don't at all mind feminine shit because, uh, obviously. I wear dresses and eyeliner sometimes and have long hair and a petite, slight hourglass body and all that shit. My regular outfit is leggings and a crop top, it's a very titties out look tbh. I don't bind (use to, might start experimenting with it again when it gets colder but I can't with the tops I like for warm weather and I don't like using tape) or anything. If I could magically look more physically androgynous in the ways that I want, that'd be sick as hell, but I can't so I don't mind my body that much. I was on t for maybe 3-4 months and I got some minimal bottom growth and slight voice changing, but I was getting too many changes that I didn't really fuck with for my preferred brand of androgyny and a lot of things I wanted t didn't help, so I stopped. Like, if I could get free and easy top surgery or a reduction and somehow grow 4-6 inches in height that would be splendid, but one of those is too expensive to justify how mild my discomfort is and the other is literally impossible so I can live with what I have.

I also really think drag would be cool as hell for gender reasons, but unfortunately I'm something of a broke bitch and even being thrifty with it is out of my budget at the moment. Which is fine, I keep it on a back burner in case I have money to invest into a new thing that I might get burnt out on before it's even worth what I spent. I'm just not touching that when I'm struggling to do anything beyond pay rent and feed my cats. But it's certainly a gender thing that I put a lot of thought into.

I don't know. Again, I'm cassgender so I don't really care heavily about any of this, I'm just an overthinker so I know it because of that. It was just information sitting in my brain that I didn't know what to do with, so I'm dumping it here. I mostly want to deep-dive into my sexuality and romantic orientation, I just had to post this first because it is really connected to gender things. I have an essay-worth to say on my sexuality because I actually care a lot about that shit and I'm just at the end (I believe?) of still figuring it out, while I was pretty sure on my gender for a while and just had to settle on accurate labels for it mostly.

[megsiepoo]

Was gonna color this and make it look like a movie poster but I made everything too small. Whoops

Context: I hit myself in the face with a hammer a few days ago. Yes really. I'm fine btw, but I thought it would make a funny action doodle. So yeah, here we are. Megsie overexplains the joke, you're welcome

[nana-mizu-shiki]

[elmomausstuff]

Why is it so hard to make myself “clear” so that everyone “understands” me? 😭 like no stop over explaining . To be cringe is to be free 🦅 no one needs to understand you

[vizthedatum]

I'm not going to lie - I feel like crying, and I get very restless when I actively try to stop myself from overexplaining.

Or when I realize that I made a social faux pas after the conversation/event... and I have this strong urge to circle back to that person or event holders to explain myself.

--

I don't need to explain myself. If they misunderstand me, then let them. They can ask me clarifying questions. Especially if I didn't set out to be purposely ambiguous (even if it came off that way). I don't need to ruminate or overthink past situations when they've already happened and *no one has said anything or expressed what they felt about it*.

^It's hard to do in practice when you're misunderstood all the time, especially when you're an autistic millennial who sometimes needs to use tone indicators. And well, sometimes I do say the wrong thing and don't realize it until later.

--

sigh.

[ramyeongif]

I’m still in the phase of learning to catch myself when I’m overexplaining and then stopping. Sitting with the discomfort. Letting silence speak for itself instead of automatically jumping in to make sure someone else feels better for saying something sh*tty to me. The like, etc.

#quotes

[bigmouthlass]

The rough cut is nine hours long.

[unfoldingmoments]

Oversharing & Overexplaining

Navigating oversharing in the information overload era can be tricky, especially when it feels like a personal need to "vomit out" thoughts and emotions.

1. The Era of Oversharing and Content Overload We’re in an era where social media and instant communication encourage constant sharing. The "content wars" you mentioned—where everyone competes for attention—push people to reveal more, whether it’s their latest success, opinions, or even intimate details. The fear of missing out (FOMO) plays a huge role, as people feel they need to stay relevant or connected by sharing everything. This external pressure can make you feel like you’re obligated to put your life on display.

2. The Psychological Need to “Vomit Out” Thoughts The need to overshare can be more internal, driven by emotions that feel overwhelming. It might not just be a social phenomenon but rather something deeper. Emotional "vomiting" can sometimes be a coping mechanism for processing unhealed trauma, unresolved issues, or deep-seated feelings. When you experience trauma or are carrying emotional baggage, you may feel an urge to let it all out because it feels like a release.

3. Is This a Gendered Tendency? While it’s not necessarily a "women’s tendency" alone, studies suggest that women may be more likely to engage in emotional expression, including venting or sharing deeply personal thoughts. This may be rooted in social norms that encourage women to be more open about their feelings. However, men experience this too, but cultural conditioning may suppress this tendency.

4. Trauma and Oversharing If you’ve experienced trauma or have unresolved emotional wounds, oversharing might be a way to seek validation, understanding, or connection from others. It can also feel like a way to release pent-up emotions. But, oversharing often leads to vulnerability hangovers—feeling exposed or even regretful after sharing too much.

5. How to Navigate This? -Reflect before sharing: Ask yourself why you feel the need to share something. Is it for validation, connection, or emotional release?

-Set boundaries: Share with trusted people who can support you, rather than oversharing with everyone. Create a space where you feel safe to express yourself.

- Journaling: Writing down your thoughts can offer the same emotional release without the potential downsides of oversharing.

-Therapy or support groups: If you’re carrying emotional trauma, working through it in a safe environment can reduce the urge to overshare impulsively.

- Embrace solitude: Sometimes, being offline or taking a break from the constant bombardment of content can help you process your emotions without feeling pressured to contribute to the noise.

It’s not necessarily a disease, but more a combination of external social pressures and internal emotional needs. Finding a balance between healthy self-expression and maintaining boundaries can help manage the tendency to overshare. Further reading: Overexplaining is a response that is caused by trauma and the fear of abandonment. "Trauma often triggers a need to overexplain, seeking safety by making sure others understand us. Self-awareness, through journaling, helps unravel these patterns, offering insights into triggers and reactions. https://www.hindustantimes.com/lifestyle/relationships/overexplaining-is-an-effect-of-trauma-heres-how-we-can-address-it-101702891987103-amp.html