#over9000 angst

[bibliomorgan]

Yeah folks, I came back to promote the best fanfiction I've ever read in my life. Unfortunately this fanfic stopped to be updated a few years ago, but every Halloween I come back and ready a chapter or two and cry my eyes out.

Not only the best fanfic ever, but also introduced to the amazing Joni Mitchell <3

By Anonymississippi Summary: “Alex’s apartment is haunted. So is she.”

This fanfiction is not for weak hearts, I mean it. If you love General Danvers, damage!Alex, softie!Astra, tragic background, all the feelings hurts, lots of angst ( like over9000 ANGST!!!!) - just like we adore - that’s your thing.

And damn ppl, I cried out loud inside a bus while reading it.

[obaby-me]

Please Stay

Author’s Note:  This is raffle prize fic for @socially-awkward-lvl-over9000!  Romance and angst, just as requested.  Hope your heart breaks, but in the best way.  (This is a continuation of the Anxiety headcanon found here:  https://obaby-me.tumblr.com/post/617140937244786688/an-mc-that-has-really-bad-anxiety-but-likes, and https://obaby-me.tumblr.com/post/617232394679894016/anxiety-anon-here-i-love-your-headcanons-they) 

When you first came to the Devildom, Levi wasn’t exactly thrilled to have you, to be quite honest. Another normie in his house!  Just what he needed, more people to judge him.

And then, Lucifer assigned you to his room!  His room! Lucifer didn’t give him any choice in the matter.  Not unless he wanted to be hung upside down from the chandeliers for the entirety of your stay.  And you’d still be in his room.

In the beginning, you spent your time curled up in his room by the tank, just watching him. Sometimes you’d open your mouth like you wanted to say something, and then immediately you’d clam it shut.  It was unnerving to have you stare, but the silence was worse.  Especially when he realized it was because you were too frightened to talk.

In his own awkward way, he tried to make conversation with you.  And in your own awkward way, you reciprocated.  It was a slow going pace, but that was okay.  He needed that as much as you, as you two slowly adjusted and became more comfortable together.  There was no pressure to impress, no judgement on your part for how nervous he could be—you were in the same boat!

Slowly your conversations began to pick to pick up speed, as commonalities between you emerged.  You had a love of the deep blue, that was why you were in his room after all.  You took a liking to Henry, and for your respect for his fish, he in turn respected your narwhal, Sparkle.  You weren’t quite an otaku, but you certainly weren’t a normie either.  You loved anime and you loved karaoke, and you loved singing anime openings and endings in karaoke!

You were a good listener, and never minded when he’d go on and on about his passions.  And in the rare instances that you’d get enthused to share yours, he didn’t mind giving you his utmost attention.  He rather liked it.  You were as in love with things you cared about as he was about his—you understood him in a way his brothers never could.

As you grew closer as friends, the closer you seemed to sit.  As days passed, you inched your way closer from across the room to cuddled up beside him as he raided.  And he was surprised to find that he was quite comfortable with that.  He preferred it.

And then, you started sleeping in his room!  It started with naps, and then it became accidental sleepovers where you’d pass out during late night marathons, and then, you just sort stayed and he never asked you to leave.  Soon, it just became the new normal.  And Levi liked that.  He liked you—really liked you, more and more each day.

But he found that it wasn’t just him you were becoming more comfortable with.  You were slowly opening up to all his brothers as well, and soon his room because a lounge.  Even Lucifer was showing up.  Coming by to constantly check in to ask if you’re doing well, and if you’ve eaten, and if you need help with school work.  Menial chatter.  All the time.

Mammon was an absolute nightmare, barging in at all times without a knock, without a text for warning. Obnoxiously loud, constantly startling him, but worst of all you.

Each and every time he’d have to hold you while you shook and came down from the shock, as he hissed at Mammon to shut the hell up.  Bickering in hushed voices until Mammon would huff and get in beside you to chat with you about the scummy scams he pulled.  Levi would never understand why you put up with him.  He wasn’t worth your time.

But he’d bring you little things, with narwhals or little sea creatures on it and you’d smile and laugh. Levi hated when he did.

Asmo was a frequent visitor, but he never stayed long.  He’d come in practically singing to show you catalogues of items to decorate your room. He was so eager to get out of here. And every time you gave him just a little more to add, the more Levi’s heart seemed to drop.  Did you really want to get out of here that bad?

Beel and Belphie were definitely a pair he was becoming to despise.  The way they draped over you when they’d come to visit!  While they were the quietest of the brothers, Levi thought they were worst.  To have them come in here and put their hands on you!  It made Levi’s blood boil.  Belphie curled up into your side as if he were a cat, and Beel sitting on your other side as he munched on treats.  And you never fought them on it.  You just quietly accepted it, carrying on as if this was becoming your new normal.

But even Beel and Belphie didn’t compare to Satan.  Levi was beginning to hate him most of all.

He stops by pretty rarely unlike the rest of his brothers, and when he did, it was always for just an hour or so drink a little tea and eat some biscuits and some light studying—sometimes just to lend a book with you with eared pages and sections he wanted you to read.

Of his brothers, the fact that he was hardly tracking into his room should have been something Levi would be thankful to him for.

But the problem wasn’t him coming into his room.  It was taking you out.

Out of Levi’s room, out into the Devildom to libraries, restaurants, shopping centers.  Levi offers to take you instead, and he was able to take you out bustling otaku dream strip of anime themed cafes and stores specializing in manga, and figurines, and the arcades—it was the absolute best of the best of the Devildom for any otaku!

But the crowds, and the chatter of so many seemed to overwhelm you.  He hadn’t quite planned well enough for this, and so he took a teary you home, feeling rather guilty.

Instead, you now took trips with Satan, strolling through Devildom on perfect itineraries with few crowds, sharing parfaits and cakes.  Levi seethed every time the two of you went out.

As the weeks passed, he began to notice more and more that you visited less and less.  You still came by, but he found himself feeling somehow lonelier than he’d ever been before meeting you.

He asked you once, when your phone rang off, and you stood to leave, “where are you going?”

“To see Satan!  He’s teaching me magic.”

You smiled so brightly, the nervous smiles he knew when you’d first come, just blooming.  And not for him, not with him.  You were off and out the door.

What broke his heart, the final straw, was the morning he saw you coming out of Satan’s room. Rubbing your eyes tiredly as you traversed the hall to your own to get ready for class.  “W-what was she doing in your room!”  He wailed.

Satan only smirked. “Nothing at all.  She just happened to fall asleep while studying is all.”

He wished he could say he was angry.  Angry enough to punch that smug grin of his little brother’s face.

But instead all he felt was an overwhelming weight on his chest—crushing his lungs.

Satan must have been expecting a fight out of him, and he could see his brother’s brows furrow when the brawl never came.  “Hey, Levi—” Satan began, reaching out a hand.

Levi was quick to smack it away, and trudge back to his only haven, and lock himself away.  He skipped school, much to Lucifer’s disappointment. He ignored texts, and then calls, and his door remained locked, even to you.

But it hurt being in his room.  It hurt to think of you.  And to think of how much he’d liked you.  Of all things he wanted to say and then didn’t.  And then of how you abandoned him for his brother—and he couldn’t really blame you.  When weighed against Satan, who in their right mind would choose the gross otaku?

Somehow he was more alone in the one occupant room than he had ever been before.

At dinner, when he did not appear, Lucifer came to speak with him.  Levi ignored his knocking and requests to open the door, until the prideful avatar was threatening to break it down.   Complying, Levi opened the door but a crack, but it was enough for Lucifer to see red, puffy eyes and cheeks stained with trails.  Any anger Lucifer had died in his throat.

“Just leave me alone,” Levi whispered.  “Please.”

“Levi, why did you skip school today?”  Lucifer looked as stern as ever, but his voice was laced with concern.

“I—I don’t want to talk about it.”

There was a pause as Lucifer considered his answer.  “How long do you intend to be absent?”

“Until it stops hurting.”

Worry flashed in his eldest brother’s eyes.  “Are you injured?”

“No.”  Levi said with a finality that Lucifer did not question.

“I will check with you again tomorrow.”

It was three days before anyone other than Lucifer saw or heard from Levi again.  He’d been in his room living on the snacks he had stashed in his room.

“Oh!  L-Levi!”  You called to his as he was raiding the fridge.

He froze, blood running cold.

“You’ve finally emerged,” you tentatively teased as you approached.

“Yeah.”  He muttered, avoiding your gaze as he filled his arms with anything not tagged with Beelzebub.

“So, are you uhm, playing a newly released game?  Maybe, watching a marathon?”  You asked, your voice coming closer.

Quickly he moved away, go the long way around the island counter and towards the door.  “Y-yeah, something like that.”  He mumbled as he strode past.

“Oh,” you whispered sounding disappointed.  “D-do you think maybe I could join you?”  Your voice wavered, and he knew, he just knew you were staring into his back with those large doe eyes, and if Sparkle was with you, probably fidgeting with its little horn.

He couldn’t say no to you. It was easier with a door closed, or through a phone.  But not like this, out in the open.

Not when you latched on to his arm, and forced him to look down at you.

Damnit.

You watched him play newly download DLC, commenting every so often, cracking jokes, like you used to.

And he let you.

You fed him chips so he didn’t have to let go of his controllers, just like you used to.

And he let you.

You pulled a blanket around you both, and you cuddled into his side, just like you used to.

And he let you.

But it didn’t feel the same. His heart still maintained that flustered flutter that you pulled from him with your every action, but every beat stung.

As the night wound down and he watched the credits roll, you gently ran your hand up and down his arm, a gesture meant to soothe him as you asked a painful question.

“Levi, can you tell me what happened?  I mean, it’s okay i-if you don’t want to.”

He couldn’t find a way to answer and fully express himself.

He thought he was special to you.  Just like he thought you were special to him.

He thought that you liked him and his room, and his bed.

He left you in silence, during which you fidgeted.  “I—I’m sorry,” you whispered, and he felt you detach from him, shifting as if to stand.

His hand was quick to catch yours, faster than his brain had thought it through.  You stared at him rather wide-eyed.

“Don’t go.”  He pleaded.  “Stay here.”

“O-okay,” you promised with a nod and a small smile.  “I’ll stay a little longer.”

“H-how long is a little?” Levi shyly asked.

“Well, I have a magic lesson with Satan—”

His arms were suddenly around you and he yanked you into him, his face buried into your shoulder. “Stay here.”  He asked again, his voice wavering.  “Don’t go to him.  Stay with me.”

“L-Levi?”  You questioned, nervously, your hand gently rubbing his back.  “Do you want to talk about it?”

“I don’t want you to go.” He choked.  “I don’t want to have you leave me and go to Satan’s and stay in his room.  I don’t want you to choose him over me.  I don’t want you to love him.  I want you to love me.”

He could feel you warm beneath him.  “L-love?” Your voice shook, and your hands stilled.

His heart was sinking slowly into his gut with dread, but his arms refused to loosen, as he tucked his head further into your neck.  “Please,” was all he could think to say.  “Please stay. Stay with me.”

[bibliomorgan]

By Anonymississippi Summary: “Alex's apartment is haunted. So is she.”

This fanfiction is not for weak hearts, I mean it. If you love General Danvers, damage!Alex, softie!Astra, tragic background, all the feelings hurts, lots of angst ( like over9000 ANGST!!!!) - just like we adore - that’s your thing.

And damn ppl, I cried out loud inside a bus while reading it.