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fenweak · 5 years ago

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As requested! This rec list features Kazer Kid Fics -- Jonny and Patrick both with kids and babies AND as kids and babies, with a small dash of de-aging and a spoonful of mpreg.

⭐ for my personal faves

My Other Rec Lists 🍭 Rec me a fic? 🍭

The Ones Where They Have Kids

No Capes by sorrylatenew ⭐ - j/p as parents; implied mpreg

Husbands. Dads. Retired superheroes.

The Reeducation of Misters Kane and Toews + timestamp by jezziejay - single dad Patrick, teacher Jonny ⭐

In which Kaner sort of has a kid, and Mr. Toews doesn't know which of them is the bigger brat.

AU featuring teacher!Jon and hockey-player!Kaner. With bonus 'Hawks characters, love notes, pasta jewelry, Be Better Pizzas, pirouettes, a sprinke of angst and guest appearance by Derek Jeter.

trust your intuition (it's just like goin' fishin') by poeelektra - 1988 as parents

They’re on the periphery of the Home Wares section of Target, heading with purposeful stride toward Sporting Goods, when Gabe declares that he wants a doll for his “Been Good” toy.

Every Little Thing He Does (is magic) by jezziejay - single dad Patrick

Jonny Toews is a bewitching man who moves into a mysterious mansion in a small town. Soon, he opens Bell, Book & Candle, a curiosity shop full of candles, lotions, etc., and is enthralling the children of local police chief (Patrick Kane), who believe he is a witch (but not a bad one.) But not everyone in town is appreciative of their quirky new neighbor, and it may take a little bit of magic for him to truly become part of the community.

Under Cover by heartstrings - 1988 as parents

"Just get in the fucking blanket fort, Kaner."

Feels Like Family To Me + prequels by exmanhater - 1988 as parents

Jonathan Toews and Patrick Kane plan, create, and obtain their family.

living next door to alice series by cinderlily - 1988 as parents

"It started with a phone call."Patrick and Jonny are suddenly given the opportunity to be parents. This is how they stumble through it.

some say love is a burning thing podfic by exmanhater - 1988 as parents

If anyone had told Johnny upon entering the NHL that thirteen years later he'd not only have a kid with Patrick Kane, but would be getting ready to go on a 'date night,’ he'd have said they must be smoking some pretty good shit.And then he'd have to wait a decade to eat his words.

In the Middle of the Night - 1988 as parents

Gone are the days when it took a cold, wet washcloth on his face to wake him up. Or: Five times Pat and Jonny's daughter wakes them up, plus one time they wake her up.

so show me family - single dad Patrick

Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one. ~Jane Howard

Fill It Up With Love by Frosting50 - single dad Pat; implied mpreg

So Pat’s senior year doesn’t turn out exactly like he’d planned. He still gets his degree in accounting, but he also gets a little girl named Emma. She’s all fat pink cheeks, curly brown hair, and blue eyes. She might have Ryan’s chin, but she’s all Pat’s. And the first time she falls asleep on his chest, chubby hand curled around his thumb, skin so soft and sweet he damn-near feels bowled over with how much he loves her. He didn’t know he could love anyone so much; it makes his heart feel too big for his chest, and he knows that he’ll spend the rest of his life trying to give her the world.

peas & carrots by altri_uccelli - 1988 as parents

Unapologetic Halloween fluff, or: Jonny forgets what day it is, but Kaner's on it.

Can You Lyft Me Up? by Mullsandmutts - single dad Patrick

Even high profile athletes like Chicago Blackhawks Captain Jonathan Toews are forced to utilize paid transportation from time to time. An accidental "share my ride" selection on an app results in a life-altering ride with an mouthy Russian driver (Artemi), an unfairly attractive single father (Patrick Kane) and his adorable sassy (and color-matching-challenged) preschool daughter (introducing Molly Donna Patricia Amelia Kane aka Mo). Jonathan refuses to feel too sketch when he negotiates a plan with the driver to "accidentally" have more shared rides with his new friends. When Mo has a traumatic incident at day camp, Patrick's heart is broken and Jonny enlists the help of Temi and the ever-meddling Patrick Sharp to get smiles back on both Kane faces. Jonathan finds himself more and more drawn to Patrick but Patrick's fears of being a good enough parent for Mo and meeting all of her needs could keep them apart. Will Temi, the Sharp family and a trio of nosy aunts in Buffalo be enough to help Jonathan and Patrick realize what they could have together or will Patrick's stubbornness and Jonathan's fear of ruining their friendship keep them apart? Stay tuned to find out ....

Three by Linsky - i won’t spoil it

Patrick doesn’t think he’s a pervert. But how would he know? Maybe a pervert is just a thing you are, and it doesn’t feel any different from being a normal person, until you do something perverted. Maybe that’s him.After all, he does have two names on his wrist.

All Your Memories by toewsandconfused - 1988 as parents; amnesiafic

Pat went to sleep a bachelor in the Trump Towers and woke up next to Jonny in the suburbs with three kids calling him Daddy. Struggling to figure out his new reality Patrick had ruled out dream, was banking on delusion because even though it meant he was losing his mind, it seemed safer than some kind of late-onset amnesia. He didn’t want to face that idea that this really was his life; that Jonny was his, that those beautiful kids were his, and he couldn’t remember any of it. The idea that the memories of their life together could be lost forever was too terrifying to deal with. Losing his mind was preferable to losing his memories.

Chelsea, Chelsea I Believe by empathapathique - single dad Pat ⭐

Patrick meets a girl his rookie year.

Don't Let Go by aohatsu - 1988 as adoptive parents

“So you were already with the boy you saved when the fire started?”Patrick pauses, but shakes his head. “No, there was an explosion—I don’t really know what it was, but then it was just me and Tigre, and it’s like, in a situation like that, you don’t really think? You just do. So I grabbed the kid and went through the fire escape. It’s not like I decided I wanted to save anybody, it was just the only option.”

Always Be My Baby by juliusschmidt - single dad Patrick

The thing is, you don’t just grow up once.

as careless as you are certain - single dad Patrick

March through August, 2015.

the one with the baby yentas series by forochel

Tazer has a son and Kaner is his son's kindergarten teacher.

It's the Magic of Risking Everything by conformityissuicide - single dad Jonny

When Jonny is thirteen he meets a small kid from Buffalo at a hockey tournament.

Then he has a gay crisis, a baby girl, and gets drafted 3rd overall by an Original Six franchise.

When he meets Patrick Kane again at prospect camp he doesn’t feel anything but excitement.

And then it all goes to hell.

"of gifts and fireflies" by huntersandangels - single dad Jon

Patrick Kane hasn’t lived a charmed life despite money flowing through his veins. The journey he is currently on, though paved with good intentions, proves to be a harder challenge than he could ever be ready for. The people he meets along the way give him a much more valued gift than his grandfather could ever dream of giving him.

I'm gonna love you til my lungs give out by arenadomatthews - 1988 as parents

“Papa, Dad, you guys are retiring today?” Bryan asks, looking up at his parents.“Yeah buddy, we are. Are you gonna behave while Dad and I are doing our press conference?” Patrick asks.

“Duh, Dad. I'm not a baby anymore,” he scoffs.

“He's right, Pat. He's our big boy now,” Jonny adds.

“Yeah, I'm going into 4th grade,” Bryan boasts pridefully.Patrick and Jonathan are finally announcing their retirement after 20 NHL seasons. However, their retirement ceremony will come with a twist: they'll be publicly coming out and revealing their family

Your Daddy's Aim Is True by thefourthvine; podfic by isweedan - cup wish baby! ⭐

patch it up by gasmsinc - 1988 as parents

Jonny stares at his daughter for a long moment. She stares back, eyes unwavering. She has Kaner’s baby blues, but at five she’s already mastered Jonny’s dead on the inside stare. Her kindergarten teacher claims she uses the unwavering look to bully other students into doing what she wants, and it’s something they should work on at home, but Jonny’s baby is a natural born leader, and he’s not going to get in her way of becoming the president, or, better yet, the supreme ruler of the universe.

Your patch,” says Jonny.

Baby, It's Hot Outside by toewsyourheart - single dad Pat

Jonny goes for a popsicle and gets a little bit more than he bargained for.

Take All That's Left - divorced single dad Pat

It’s been 6 years now, and he’s grown to enjoy the city since signing with the Rangers to follow Anna, who’d found a job in Brooklyn.

But Chicago; Chicago was Patrick’s first love, all his important firsts – it’s all been hers, and having to leave had been heartbreaking. Too many memories from Chicago were heartbreaking, and yet he always yearned for the city, always felt more comfortable walking her streets than any other place in the world. No other place quite felt like home the way Chicago did.

Isn’t She Lovely by windsthatwhisper + podfic by kanetcews (lavenderharry) - wish baby!

It's nine in the morning when Pat and Jonny stumble down the stairs, sluggish with sleep.

There’s a baby carrier on the kitchen island.

Jonny blinks, blinks again, then turns to get a cup of coffee.

Recreation, Entertainment, Art, or Sport by trademarkgiggle

of course jonathan toews can juggle

so show me family series by peeks, tazer - teacher Pat

“Just admit you like him.”

“Shut up, Sharpy,” Patrick says, before he rolls his eyes and tries to ignore the smirk widening on Sharpy’s lips. “Don’t you have your kids’ parents to bother?”

“No, my last kid left a couple minutes ago, so I’m totally here to watch you and Jonathan Toews make heart eyes at each other,” Sharpy laughs, waltzing into Patrick’s classroom. He immediately makes his way to see Sadie, who greets her dad with a hug.

(In which Patrick Kane is terrible at feelings but luckily, Patrick Sharp is a total bro.)

The Ones Where They’re With Kids

In My Blood and In My Bones + Nothing Sweet or Gentle by fourfreedoms ⭐

Patrick’s not really into dudes—he’s done that whole thing a couple of times—that’s rock-n-roll after all, but god, when Jonathan smiles, he looks really good.Johnny is a nanny. Patrick's a musician. They fall in love. Inspired by the movie What Maisie Knew.

the kids are alright

Patrick works at the sporting goods store Jonny takes his peewee team to for equipment.

given to us as free-flying souls by Mayhem10

Jonathan had never really considered himself particularly good with kids. He didn’t avoid them or anything and it’s not like they burst into tears when they saw his face, but he never was exactly sure what to do with them, these little people running around at waist height. It just wasn’t his area.So, of course, Patrick was basically the child whisperer.

(or five times Jonathan saw Patrick with kids and one time Patrick saw him)

Hide Your Face So The World Will Never Find You (Paper Faces On Parade) by huntersandangels

Jonathan Toews, farm owner and guardian of his nephew, is in desperate need of capable farm hands. Patrick Kane certainly does not fit the description but when a mutual friend confides in him that Patrick has lost everything he owned and is in serious need himself and offers Jonathan money to hire him, how can he say no?

Patrick Kane loves statistics and spending his money on thoroughly planned ‘adventures’ for his friends when he’s not partying away the rest of his fortune. If he wins the bet he can continue to plot freely but if he loses his extra curriculum activities have to stop. He agrees to go on an ‘adventure’ himself and settles in the Toews Farm posing as a farm hand. But as the time goes by, the less pretend it feels-and the more he enjoys Jonathan and Etienne’s company and the quite life in the farm; to the point where he’s not sure whether he wants to win the bet or lose...

Baby, You're the One by jezziejay ⭐

6k words of Jonathan Toews having feelings about babies. And feelings about Kaner. And feelings about putting a baby in Kaner.

The Ones Where They Are Kids

The Cat and the Fiddle series by james - childhood soulmates!

When Donna's son is four, he creates an imaginary friend.

i want to know what you know by sointimate - childhood sweethearts

Patrick is six years old and he's about to do the scariest thing he's ever done in his whole life.

Colorblind by july_v ⭐

Jon is five when he meets Patrick. It's also the time he begins to understand colors as more than an abstract concept.

How to become a man series+ coda by liketheroad, mockturtletale

In which Kaner gets spontaneously de-aged into a six-year-old, and he and Tazer both have a lot of growing up to do.

Romper Room by james - de-aged 1988

Sharpie doesn't really think this should be part of his duty as alternate captain. Luckily, none of this is his fault. A.K.A., the one where Kaner and Johnny are five.

you ruined everything in the best way by thisissirius + podfic by exmanhater .⭐ - de-aged Saader

Kaner's looking down at the kid, though, frowning. He crouches down. "Hey, kid, where are your parents?

"The kid's bottom lip juts out and starts wobbling. Fuck, that means he's going to start crying, right?

"Oh shi—oot, kid, don't cry," Kaner says. "I mean, if you don't know where they are, we can find 'em?"

"Kaner," Sharpy presses. "That's Saad."

don't worry about your body - de-aged Jonny

No one said anything. Everyone stared at each other then down at the tiny human being that was standing where Jonny had been. Kaner felt his mouth go entirely dry, and his stomach drop out from underneath him.

What the fuck, man.

Can You Picture It? by RemyJane

In which Kaner turns into a baby and everyone besides Jonny seems to understand. Includes excessive cuddling, ridiculously adorable baby-Kaner, and feelings. Jonny eventually figures everything out.

Never Getting That Shirt Back by ice_hot_13 - de-aged Pat

Patrick is de-aged into a toddler, and when he's with Jonny, he isn't a holy terror.

Je T'aime by banks99 (Nodiggity15) - de-aged Jonny

“He won’t take a bath. He’s arguing with me. It’s like he didn’t even change at all.” Kaner’s not pouting, fuck you very much.

MPREG

I Got a Love (That Keeps Me Waiting) by svmadelyn ⭐ -mpreg!pat

There's a lot of different ways this summary could go, like:Patrick Kane gets more than a gold medal in Sochi.

Or, the classic: It's too late to pull out now.Or: Patrick Kane continues to thrive in high pressure situations.Or: Patrick Kane gets knocked up, goes to White Castle, and finds love, not necessarily in that order.

But, ultimately, all that really matters is this: Patrick Kane is keeping his baby.

private passions and secret storms (all the secrets series) by CoffeeKristin, Frosting50 - mpreg!pat

Jonny’s life is good - great even. He loves Patrick and their kids, and even if they don’t always have time for each other, he wouldn’t trade it for anything. But when Jeff Carter comes into his life, Jonny’s world gets turned upside down. It’s going to take everything he’s got to convince Patrick to give him a second - maybe even a third - chance.

Patrick’s blindsided by Jonny’s betrayal and putting his family back together is a lot harder than he expected when their past comes back to haunt them.Can love conquer all?

Forever & Always, My Baby You'll Be by windsthatwhisper - mpreg!jonny

Jonny and Pat's life is a cycle of curse words, late night feedings, and five minute handjobs in the hallway closet.

Aka, I wanted some 1988 w/ a baby feels so I wrote this blurb of a thing in about seven minutes.

efficacy by thirteentorafters - mpreg!patrick

“You,” Patrick says, jabbing a finger angrily at Jonny. “Are gonna fucking help me, dickface.”

Opening his mouth to ask what the hell is going on; Jonny’s eyes drop to Patrick’s stomach. Jonny is acquainted with Patrick’s naked body and the last time they met, Patrick wasn’t fat. Or paunchy. Except that doesn’t look like usual fat. “Oh fuck.”

“Yeah, ‘oh fuck’,” Patrick says, imitating Jonny’s tone. “You knocked me up, asshole. What are you gonna do about it?”

Forever & Always, My Baby You'll Be by windsthatwhisper - mpreg!jonny

Jonny and Pat's life is a cycle of curse words, late night feedings, and five minute handjobs in the hallway closet.

Looked So Fine (I Just Had To Speak) by svmadelyn - !!!! ⭐

Patrick Kane’s talking penis maintains a ‘to do’ list. It is as follows:1. Jonathan Toews

Phone Tag by hawkeytime (jayyloo) - mpreg!Jonny

"Hi mom. Sorry I couldn’t catch you, so I guess I’ll just, uh.. leave a message. See, the thing is… my super-potent sperm may or may not have managed to knock Jonny up. Okay bye."

"Yes, hello, is this Hockey Canada? I just want it written on the record, today, June 31, 2015, that my incredibly improbable unborn child with Jonathan Toews will be playing for America. Yes, I’ll hold.

"Or: Pat accidentally knocks Jonny up. A saga told in a series of voicemails

A Royal Baby - mpreg!Pat

A cough from the doorway cuts Seabs off mid sentence. Duncs is standing watching them, a particularly somber expression on his face. "Jonny, I'm sorry to interrupt but you have a visitor that you'll want to go see right away.""Now really isn't a good time," Jonny tells him, not even putting down his fork."Trust me Your Highness," Duncs says, "This will be worth it."

[Patrick and Jonathan think their time brief time together at the Olympics is all they can ever have. Patrick's ensuing pregnancy proves otherwise.]

sun sweet berries of the earth series by gasmsinc - mpreg!Pat; a/b/o

There is a spirit living in Patrick State Park.“Listen,” says Jonny. “I didn’t mean to step on your crown.”The spirit’s bottom lip wobbles.

Tame the Roads That Can't Be Tamed by Linsky - mpreg!Pat; a/b/o

Patrick’s flown a million times. He’s never gotten airsick before. Even on last year’s epic flight to Denver, when they hit massive turbulence and half the team was groaning over barf bags, Patrick’s stomach was fine. And maybe he’s sick, sure—but why doesn’t he feel sick the rest of the time? Why is it only mornings and—

Oh.

Oh, no.

Oh fucking no.

(Or: In which it is difficult to be a wolf in the NHL, especially when you're not that good at condoms.)

Carve His Name With Pride ⭐ - mpreg!Jonny

Jonny leaves behind a home, a house, and a hockey career the month after he learns that he’s pregnant.

Eyass - mpreg!Jonny

"I dunno," Kaner tells him. "Whatever you need, man. You’re having a baby! That’s a lot of work. I want to be here for you."

Somehow, in the dozens of conversations he’s had with teammates and friends and family in the past few days, no one has said those exact words to Jonny: “you’re having a baby”. He has to comb his fingers through his hair and take a deep, steadying breath to compose himself.

Kaner notices and smiles at him; a crooked, beautiful thing. “It’s pretty amazing, isn’t it?”

Heartburn and Survival by dedougal - mpreg!Jonny

They were in Canada when Jonny found out he was pregnant. Afterwards, Jonny used that as a point in his bulleted list of arguments about why Jack should represent Canada but, to be entirely truthful, finding out in Canada - finding out anywhere - was pretty disastrous.

Three Cups and a Pup by Miss_Psychotic, nommedeplume - mpreg!Patrick

The Story of Alpha Jonny and Omega Kaner getting their shit together and learning how to be Adulting Adults (Finally)

Chips and Cribs by whatislife - mpreg!Jonny

“What do you mean there are no chips,” Jonny asks from where he is standing by the island, hand resting on his stomach. “Weren’t they on the list? Did you not buy them?”(Patrick just wants to sleep.)

#patrick kane #jonathan toews #1988 #blackhawks #hockey rpf #chicago blackhawks #kazer #kaner #it's possible i have missed some stuff #it's been so long since i reread anything 1988!#askbox is open for your suggestions on this (╯▽╰ )

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pixieungerstories · 4 years ago

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Captive - 7

Elly was barely in the door when the pizza arrived. “You have the wrong house,” she said politely but firmly.

The delivery guy looked at his clipboard. “Nope. Right address, says Ben ordered them. They are already paid for so it isn’t a prank call.”

“Oh,” she said lamely. “Ben. Yeah. This is the right place. I just wasn’t expecting him to be here this late.” She fumbled in her purse for a tip and staggered inside under the weight of five extra large. When she tried to hit the light switch with her elbow, nothing happened. Then she noticed the ott-light had moved. She groaned. How many times did she need to tell Posy not to do that?

The pizza was set on the counter as she stomped up the stairs to flip the breaker. Once she hung up her coat, she wrenched off her heels and threw them into the hall closet with a fury that might have been surprising if she hadn’t spent the day feeling like an idiot child.

She found her sheep slippers, grabbed a beer out of her fridge and pounded down the stairs again.

“Ben?” she called.

There was no answer.

She walked around the shop, turning off the lights. The bakery was still a mess, which was just not like him.

The door to the basement was open.

Oh god!

“BEN?!” she yelled frantically, as she ran to the steps.

“Careful, treasure, you don’t want to slip.”

“Oh! Hi, Elly! I ordered pizza.”

Elly stared between the two of them in the gloom of a battery powered trouble light. Ben in the chair, George curled up on the floor in front of him.

And a mostly empty bottle of scotch on the table.

“Are you drunk?”

“Probably,” Ben said amicably. “Did you know you have a dragon in your cellar?”

Elly sat down heavily on the step. It took her a few minutes to even try to get her brain working again. In the meantime, Ben asked, “Any sign of the pizza? George says he’s never had taco pizza or buffalo wings.”

“Yeah,” she said faintly. “It’s upstairs.”

“I’ll get it!” Ben stood up, then he suddenly sat back down. “I think I need a minute.”

“You need food,” George corrected. “You wait here, I’ll help Elly get whatever it was that you ordered.”

“You can’t -” she stopped and pinched the bridge of her nose. “OK. this is ridiculous. I’ll go close the curtains, then we call all eat in the bakery.”

She grumbled to herself as she pushed the tables against the wall and closed the blinds. She jumped when she turned to find Ben standing way too close to her and George peering at her from the stairs. Ignoring George for a moment, she looked at Ben. “Are you OK?”

He gave her a glassy look, “I’m -” he started to say, then stopped for a moment, “ I’m not entirely sure this is real.”

“That’s up to you,” George rumbled coming into the dining room. “Tomorrow you will wake up with a hangover and we can all just pretend this is a bad dream, if you want. For now, however, I smell dinner and I know that buffaloes don’t have wings.”

“They are chicken,” Elly murmured as she went to get the food.

“I like it when people bring me cooked chicken. They are too fiddly to eat on my own. Eau de burning feathers is not an appetizing smell.” George got the pizza boxes off the counter and carried them back to the bakery’s dining room. He managed just fine, but it was awkward to look at. His legs looked kind of bandy and short, his feet more hand like, and hs tail seemed to be in the way. He ended up sitting at the table, but on the floor with his tail lashing behind him like a cat.

Ben brought over two tea cups and two water pitchers George graciously accepted one of the jugs and held it like an oversized mug, taking a long drink. Elly was suddenly very aware that she never brought him liquids. Ben was oblivious to that and was pouring her a cup of water.

“I can make you a pot of decaf if you like.”

Elly waved him away, “I have most of a beer around here somewhere.”

“On the coffee table by the fireplace,” George said, carefully trying to figure out the pizza box.

Elly went to grab it and came back in time to see Geoge popping a wing in his mouth and chewing thoughtfully. “We don’t usually eat the bones,” she pointed out.

“Extra calcium,” George shrugged. “These are good. I was expecting them to be more spicy.”

Ben blinked, “I ordered mild, medium, hot and extreme and I’m pretty sure you aren’t supposed to eat the bones because they could make sharp pieces and-”

“That’s dogs,” Elly interrupted. “I have no idea if it applies to … George.”

George was already daintily taking another wing out of the pizza box with dividers keeping the wings segregated from each other. He crunched that one up too. “Which one is the spicy one?” Ben pointed. “You are staring.”

“Right! Sorry! It’s just … wow. Holy shit. You are … amazing!” He turned to Elly, “You have an actual dragon in your actual dungeon. Do you have any idea how cool that is?”

Elly just snorted as she helped herself to a slice of taco pizza. “This is just weird. I can see using salsa instead of tomato sauce, and almost see queso instead of pizza cheese, but who puts sour cream on a slice?”

“Hey, at least I ordered it without the lettuce,” Ben argued.

“OK, these ones are getting better,” George said, pointing to the extreme wings. “I’m not sharing these.”

Both humans stared at him. It was Ben who finally said, “I can just imagine you on Hot Ones on YouTube.”

“What?” Elly asked, but Ben was enthralled watching George suck the sauce off his fingers.

George, however, was watching her. “What did the lawyers say?”

Elly glared at her pizza then took a swig of beer. “Any major changes to the business are subject to approval from the trustees. They don’t object in principle as long as I can show I won’t have losses in excess of the monthly stipend.”

Now Ben was looking at her. “You are going to change the business?” he asked with feigned nonchalance that was undermined by his voice breaking part of the way through the sentence.

Elly shook her head, “I wouldn’t interfere with the bakery, but I don’t know enough about yarn to keep this place afloat.”

“You were learning though,” he pointed out.

George snorted, “She is unhappy though.” He narrowed his eyes at the man. “Why is it your concern?”

“If I close up shop, Ben is out on the street,” Elly pointed out. “This will affect him too.”

“Hmm,” George considered this.

“Try some pizza,” Elly suggested.

“Get Ben a beer,” George suggested.

“Nah, man. I gotta drive home.” Then he frowned. “I gotta clean the kitchen.”

“I will allow you to sleep on Elly’s couch on the second floor,” George replied magnanimously. Elly rolled her eyes. Ben grinned at his plate and took a slice of the all meat pie.

“I like this place, they have good sauce and they have a partially good sourdough crust.” He took a huge bite and chewed thoughtfully for a moment, “and I’m sure they make their own sauce.”

“You already mentioned the sauce,” Elly pointed out.

“It was a very good bottle of scotch,” George explained. “The boy needed it.”

Elly sighed. “Yeah, you can sleep in the guest room,” she agreed. “I’ll change the sheets and help you clean the kitchen tomorrow morning.”

Ben was looking thoughtful. “I know you don’t order this much food all the time. Is that why all the cats are going missing?”

“Yes!” Elly snapped.

“No!” George just looked hurt. “I don’t eat cats!”

Ben chortled, “Methinks the lady does protest too-” but before he could finish the quote, George leaned across the table and snapped his teeth uncomfortably close to Ben’s face.

“You do not come into my house and disrespect me like that!”

Both humans froze.

George blinked and leaned back away from them. He turned and glared at the door to the stairs. “I have changed my mind, treasure, I do not like this friend of yours.”

“I’ll -” Elly squeaked then stopped and tried again. “I’ll just take him home then. To his home, I mean.”

George looked pointedly at the window, “You can not go and be back before dark. Take him upstairs, put him to bed and if he remembers this in the morning, I will expect an apology.”

“I’m sorry,” Ben said immediately. He was extremely contrite. “You are right. That was rude.”

George narrowed his eyes at him. “Go,” he managed to hiss the word despite the lack of sibilants. As he watched them scurry up the stairs like frightened mice, he helped himself to another wing. As he was crunching he could hear Elly speaking upstairs.

“That isn’t even how that quote goes. It’s ‘the lady doth protest too much, methinks’ -”

“Really? That’s the part of this you have a problem with?”

“No. I’m just... “ she sighed. “Look. You need to think less drinking buddy and more tetchy grandfather.”

George managed to frown even harder. Tetchy? Really? The grandfather, well, it was completely incorrect but he could see how she got there. But techy? Ugh. He finished the wings and opened one of the pizza boxes at random. Bread, tomato sauce, meat, mushrooms, bland white cheese, not ideal, but oddly satisfying.

The reality of the situation caught up to him. He groaned. He should have made the boy sleep on the chesterfield in the basement. Instead, he was up there with Elly and George was down here, alone. That certainly wasn’t how this was supposed to go.

Still, it would be dark soon. Time to go for a night out.

#the captive #exophilia #monster boyfriend #dragon boyfriend

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alessandrapushaw-blog · 4 years ago

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With the evidence of this last witness

Recently reported third quarter earnings saw Nike have double digit growth in revenue and earnings per share. Revenue grew to $5.8 billion, which was a fifteen percent increase from the prior year. Earnings per share grew eleven percent to $1.20. A man is gored by a Miura fighting bull during the sixth run of the bulls of the San Fermin festival, on July 12, 2009, in Pamplona, northern Spain. The festival is a symbol of Spanish culture, despite heavy condemnation from animal rights groups nfl jerseys, and attracts thousands of tourists to watch the bull runs or take part. ARRIZURIETA/AFP/Getty ImagesA man is gored by a Miura fighting bull during the sixth run of the bulls of the San Fermin festival, on July 12, 2009, in Pamplona, northern Spain.

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Get daily updates directly to your inbox+ SubscribeThank you for subscribing!Earlier today, Record Sport told you how the Ibrox side are considering their legal position after it emerged thousands of their replica shirts are due to go on sale without the club's permission tomorrow.A number of Scotland's leading high street sports shops have been taking deliveries of the club's new look Puma strips throughout the past 24 hours and are ready to start selling the jerseys from in store and online from Thursday morning.(Photo: Tony Nicoletti/Daily Record)But that has come as a surprise to Rangers who say they have no knowledge of any deal between Sports Direct, Puma and other shops Cheap Jerseys china.Greaves Sports confirmed on Twitter that they will not be selling any of the new home, away and third kits until they have discussed the matter with Rangers.The statement on the website read: "Since terminating the IP Licence and Rights Agreement with Rangers Retail Limited, the club has made its best efforts to engage with PUMA on an agreed way forward without the involvement of Sports Direct for the manufacture of replica kits and other merchandise to supporters.Rangers ready to launch legal bid as Mike Ashley prepares to sell the jerseys without club go ahead"During discussions it emerged that PUMA had manufactured some replica kit after receiving purchase orders directly from Sports Direct and without the prior knowledge or agreement of the club and its directors on the Rangers Retail Limited board, Paul Murray and David King."Despite requests to Sports Direct and PUMA we have not been able to ascertain full details of this arrangement or to reconcile it with the commercial contracts that were in place between the club and Rangers Retail Limited.(Photo: SNS)"The club has not been party to discussions on the launch of kit sales by PUMA this week. We were first notified of their intentions after close of business on Friday last week."We are surprised and disappointed by the lack of consultation with the club and/or supporters groups prior to the launch."Mark Warburton's side kick off the new Premiership season at home to Hamilton on Saturday but the players have already been wearing the latest Puma design in summer friendlies and in League Cup action despite its unavailability in the shops.Rangers supporters group, Club 1872, issued their own statement this evening and are urging supporters not to buy any of the kirs no matter what retailer has them on sale."It is absolutely clear from the statement issued by Rangers that the situation regarding official Rangers merchandise has not been resolved to their satisfaction," said Club 1872."As a result we would urge supporters not to purchase the official kit from ANY outlets where it goes on sale.(Photo: Joe Giddens/PA Wire)"It has been clear for some time that Sports Direct continue to treat both our football club and our supporters with utter contempt. It is extremely disappointing to see Puma follow suit by making this season's kit available for sale without reaching a satisfactory agreement with Rangers https://www.cheapjerseys168.com."We have been used to this type of behaviour from Sports Direct and Mike Ashley but it now appears Puma are following suit Cheap Jerseys china.

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team-science-mega-nerds · 5 years ago

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Fictober Prompt #5: “I might just kiss you.”

Fandom: Supergirl

Pairing: Danvarias (Sam x Alex)

Warnings: None

It’s a rainy night. Sam is ridiculously exhausted after slugging her way from one private practice to the next. This is a small town, quiet too. Sam could see herself renting a little cottage for the summer if she ever got a break. With this new drug on the market, she’ll probably be traveling to National City and Metropolis over the next few months. Pharmaceutical sales never end.

The motel that Sam is staying at leaves very little to be desired but it’s near a bar and that’s the only thing Sam cares about right now. She isn’t expecting much, which is why she keeps it simple with jeans and a plain t-shirt, she isn’t trying to impress anyone.

Bars are interesting. Small town ones even more so. The one that Sam walks into is smokey, stuffed with a few truckers and farmers, but it is meticulously clean. The chalk menu sitting above the bar seems out of place and the booths don’t have sticky seats or dried sweat on them. Sam decides that she’ll take a seat at the bar which might leave a little room between Sam and a potential creep.

Sam isn’t used to having to wait either. But the bartender is changing a keg and offers a sweet smile as an apology. Sam doesn’t mind and she snacks on a few peanuts while she waits. And watches. There’s a lot of watching going on.

The bartender is cute. She’s wearing faded jeans with holes in them from too much wear. Her black t-shirt looks mostly clean, straining slightly against the woman’s arms, which leads Sam to notice a large tattoo on the bartender’s forearm. It’s of a cat. A zombie cat. Sam is intrigued.

Once the keg is properly in place, the bartender snatches a rag out of the back of her jeans, wipes her hands and approaches Sam. “Hi, sorry about that.”

“No problem.”

“What can I get you?” Sam usually sticks with something simple but she is alone and it isn’t like this bar is busy, so she ponders for a second.

“What’s in the keg?”

“Oh, that?” The bartender nods over to the taps. “It’s called Wicked Twister. Pale ale, a bit of orange, a hit of chocolate, and cayenne.” She looks proud and eager. “We brew it in house.”

“Your recipe, then?”

“Sure is.” She grabs a clean glass and twirls it in her hand. “I could give you a taste. See if you like it.”

“I’ll have a pint. I’ll trust you but it better not be a letdown.” The bartender happily fills Sam’s glass and sets it on the bartop in front of her. Sam does give it a taste. The citrus hits right away, the cayenne comes a bit later. “It’s good.”

“Just good.”

“Just good,” Sam says playfully. The bartender grins and leans up against the bar, closer to Sam. “What?”

“Where are you from?” Sam isn’t certain that she wants to get into specifics with a stranger. Even if they are cute.

“Originally? Buffalo. Now? National City.”

“City girl, huh?”

“I wouldn’t say that.” The bartender takes care of her other patrons. Dumping an ashtray, filling up another pitcher, and bullshitting with some of the locals. She has a casualness about her. Something Sam would relate to rural communities like this. Not slow-moving but she never quite seems to be in a hurry. Her laugh is infectious. Whatever quip the trucker says as he nods over at Sam, the bartender neutralizes it easily. Playing friend to all. “This is your bar?”

“Yeah. I’m Alex.” That suits her.

“Samantha.” Sam thinks better of it, “Sam.”

“So, what are you doing in our little Hamlet?” Sam takes another drink. “Or is that a secret?”

“No secrets here. I...I’m a sales rep for LuthorCorp pharmaceuticals. It’s boring stuff.”

“Why do you do it if it’s boring?” Alex has no idea how much that conversation is a rabbit hole. Sam enjoys Alex’s curiosity though. It isn’t something she comes into contact with much. Sam is paid to be smart, cute, and friendly. Beyond that, she sort of loses herself during the day.

“Good question. I’ll let you know when I find out.”

“You here for long?”

“Just the night,” Sam responds. She polishes off the rest of her beer, Alex motions for another but Sam looks to the top shelf. “Something stronger maybe.” Alex studies Sam for a long moment. Sam wishes she’d done something nicer with her hair. Or at least thrown on some makeup.

Alex doesn’t seem to mind.

“How strong?”

“Come on, bartender. Isn’t it your job to figure me out?” Alex bites her lip. She pushes Sam’s glass aside, leans over the bartop so that her face is mere inches away from Sam’s. Alex runs her fingertips along Sam’s hairline and tucks Sam’s hair back behind her ear. “What are you doing?”

“Figuring you out.” Alex grabs a bottle of rum. Havana Club, specifically. “You’re Cuban?”

“How the fuck did you know that?” Sam is starting to think that she’s walked into some kind of an alternate reality. Maybe Alex has magic powers? Alex makes Sam a daiquiri, laughing the entire time. “Seriously.”

“Your keychain.” Alex points to Sam’s keychain that reads “Havana”.

“Oh.” Sam laughs into her daiquiri. “You’re smart.”

“That surprises you?”

“No.” Alex drums her fingers against the counter.

“Okay. Sell me something,” Alex suggests.

“Like what?”

“Anything. Pretend I’m a customer.” Sam isn’t used to these kinds of games. But Alex has caught her at a good time. There’s no pressure here.

“Alright.” Sam stands and leans her elbows against the bar top. Alex’s eyes travel down Sam’s neck, predictably. “You see I could sell you anything. I can sell anyone anything. It’s about convincing the person in front of you that you want the same thing.”

“What happens if your buyer is a hardass? Is it a wasted trip?”

“It’s never a wasted trip.” Alex has been ignoring her other customers which makes it very easy for Sam to feel special. Wanted. “How late is this place open?”

“Till 1,” Alex pours Sam a shot and one for herself too. “Can you wait that long?”

“What am I waiting for?” Alex smiles instead of responding. Sam’s curiosity gets the best of her, so she decides to wait.

Alex makes a mean basket of fries. She is efficient with her pours, flirting just enough to keep Sam hanging around, and twice Alex touches Sam’s hand a little too long. Sam notices because she notices everything. “Are you staying at that trash motel?”

“It’s not so bad.”

“I live upstairs.” Alex points to the ceiling. “You’d like it up there. Very sophisticated. Better booze too.”

“You could be a killer. I feel like I’m being lured.”

“Come on, you could take me. But I have no problems with any choice you make.” The clock reads 12:39, Sam is on edge. “You know what I like about you?”

“This’ll be good.”

“You’re some kind of big-city super seller and you’re sold on this.” Alex points to her own attire. “Easy to please, I guess.”

“Not that easy.” Alex waves goodbye to the rest of her patrons, wishing them all safe travels home. She locks up, cleans the bar, the tables, sweeps, and shuts off anything she doesn’t need running. Sam is patient. It gives her time to assess the situation.

When Alex is halfway through washing the glasses, Sam has had about enough of waiting around. She stands and walks around to the other side of the bar. Alex watches her but does nothing to deter her. “You’re taking too long.”

“Well, I didn’t know what the plan was.” Alex sets a clean glass down and flings her rag over her shoulder. “What’s the plan?”

“I might just kiss you.”

“Is that all?”

“Well, seeing as you’ve just cleaned the floors, we can fuck here or upstairs.” Sam pushes Alex’s back against the bar. “But you’d better not disappoint me.” Sam grabs the front of Alex’s shirt and tugs her closer. “I have an early flight.”

#agentreign #sam arias #samantha arias #alex danvers #supergirl #fictober 2019 #small town aus are the best honestly #fictober19

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andrewuttaro · 5 years ago

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The Unwritten Contract

Tomorrow will be a week on from Red Tuesday. A week ago tomorrow Buffalo Sabres General Manager Jason Botterill was suddenly fired and replaced with Kevyn Adams. That move was something of a relief for most Sabres fans but what came after was not. In addition to hiring business executive Kevyn Adams (Yes, I know he has some coaching experience in addition to actually being a player) as GM, everyone and their assistant was fired all the way down to the Rochester Americans. It was such a gutting that an IT guy was let loose and had to be rehired. After a bungled Pegula Zoom Conference Call with the Press, media and fans alike reacted with considerable frustration at what appeared to be naked efforts to save money over any actual attempt to improve hockey operations.

For almost a week now we Sabres Faithful have processed all this. We suspected we were back to being a poverty franchise but now its confirmed. We thought Botterill might get fired for his poor hockey decisions but he was reaffirmed and extended another year three weeks before his firing; as if the Sabres formally being left out of the NHL’s return to play format and staring down 8-10 months off the ice clued Terry and Kim Pegula in on a way they could save money in the meantime. I’ll be honest: I had two articles in the pipeline. One was a venomous takedown of the Pegulas and the other was a Kevyn Adams To-Do list. The latter has already been done to death since last Tuesday and the former was never going to make it through any secondary edit. So with zero articles now on my docket my attention shifted to Jack Eichel.

Justin Bourne turned my attention back to Jack Eichel I should say. He wrote an article in the Athletic you should check out: “On players extending contracts then asking for trades (and Jack Eichel)”. I won’t go into any depth about it, go read it, but Bourne basically considers the perceived goodness or badness of players signing long-term extensions and asking for a trade before those long contracts are up. Jack Eichel being the main example in his story brought me back into my thought process on Eichel’s plans. His contract was signed in 2017 and runs 2018-2026. Whenever the Sabres get back on the ice he will have six of eight seasons remaining on his ten million dollar contract. In the NHL players frequently honor the length of their contracts unless they are traded. In rare cases players request a trade. Springing up from the premise of Justin Bourne’s article and my own growing fears of Eichel requesting a trade I contend to you this: the Pegulas and the Buffalo Sabres organization have broken Jack Eichel’s Unwritten Contract. For this reason I understand and will one day come to accept it if he does ask out.

What is an unwritten contract? I think you’re more familiar with them than you think. All the best players in hockey, and sports in general really, have unwritten contracts. The written contract is the pact they make with a team for X amount of money, endorsements and what have you. The only conditions of that are obvious: come to practice, play your hardest and do some media for us. The Unwritten Contract is only granted to a dozen or so players in each professional league. These athletes are such a high caliber of talent that in their acquisition the team who gets them signs a pact we all know but isn’t written in ink anywhere. That agreement is that this player is fantastic, but you have to build a great team around them as their owners and the organization. When Michael Jordan was drafted by Chicago, when Wayne Gretzky was signed by Edmonton, when Lebron went to South Beach and then went back to Cleveland, when they realized Tom Brady was good in New England; all these are instances of an incredibly special talent going somewhere with an unwritten contract. In each case the team understands they have a job to do in good faith. They have to build around these special athletes.

Jack Eichel is one of these special athletes. He is the best athlete to play in Buffalo since Jim Kelly and that’s being a little too nice to Jim Kelly. The Buffalo Sabres organization just went through astronomical turnover last week that the NHL will only see with an individual organization once, maybe twice in a decade. It’s one thing if that’s the necessary step before a rebuild. This is not that. The Pegulas specifically stated this was not a rebuild. What would be a second or third rebuild since Jack Eichel’s arrival in Buffalo has one through-line: Terry and Kim Pegula. Terry and Kim Pegula have violated Jack Eichel’s unwritten contract and have therefore voided it for him. The evidence is plentiful.

The Three GMs the Pegulas hired in Eichel’s tenure with their hockey team so far are Tim Murray, Jason Botterill and now Kevyn Adams. Murray did a fantastic tank and built a defensively-weak team around Eichel. It failed and he was fired. Botterill upgraded the defense considerably while dismantling the forward corps built up before him. Save for the Jeff Skinner of last season he added no scoring and subtracted a now Playoff MVP winning second line center in Ryan O’Reilly (at the behest of continually interfering owners). Now Adams inherits a deeply flawed club for his first job as GM over which he’ll have little actual control to change because the owners that hired him did so because they wanted a Yes Man. The Pegulas are actually the GM now and their track record is downright atrocious. If Jack Eichel doesn’t want out of that situation than to be very frank he should. His Unwritten Contract with the Buffalo Sabres might as well be worth nothing to a set of owners who are more interested in maintaining their standard of living than actually seeing their hockey team win a Stanley Cup.

This isn’t the least bit dramatic. Ask anyone with any insight on the organization. This is the state of affairs with the Pegulas calling the shots. This is why us Sabres fans hope against reality that this team will be sold. To be Jack Eichel is to look for a way out; to be a Sabres fan is to accept the reality of eternal suffering. I forgive you in advance Jack, no matter how hard this is going to be, I forgive you for what you may have to do. Why should you have hope in this process? Why should you believe in these owners? Why should any of us?

#buffalo sabres #hockey #nhl

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theteenagetrickster · 5 years ago

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75 Best Hip-Hop and R&B Albums of 2019, Ranked

For the final time of 2019, we’ll see you in the comments.

Before you begin scrolling through our list of the 75 best hip-hop and R&B albums of 2019, likely without reading any of the words we affixed to many of them, let’s make sure we’re all on the same page.

The eligibility period for this list is December 24, 2018, through December 9, 2019.

If an artist and/or their record label labeled a project as an “EP,” it was disqualified. We are publishing that list on Friday.

Our entire editorial team determined the selections (and the order of the albums listed). Please don’t send Donna your nasty emails.

No, we’re not on the payroll of “Insert Popular Artist Here.” But, we’d love an investment. Have them email Z.

This list is our list—not yours. We don’t expect, nor do we want, you to agree with every album selection or our ordering; we do want you to discover a few great albums you probably missed throughout the past 12 months and press play.

Great, let’s begin. Happy Holidays.

75. Radamiz — Nothing Changes If Nothing Changes

“Lately been accepting my mortality, nobody ever told you that your parents goin’ to get older, too,” Radamiz raps on “Shadowboxing,” the intro to his perfectly-titled sophomore album, Nothing Changes If Nothing Changes. It’s one of many lines that will jump out upon every revisit. Radamiz is a rapper who breathes universal truths, who candidly speaks of being a passion-driven and dreaming-chasing millennial fighting against the odds and the clock. Nothing Changes If Nothing Changes is East Coast hip-hop from a student of the game, who gives an honest portrait of his life with fiery rhymes, and head-nodding production that solidifies Radamiz as one of the best new rappers coming from New York. —Yoh

74. Wale — Wow… That’s Crazy

73. Lil Peep — Everybody's Everything

72. MIKE — Tears of Joy

71. Deem Spencer — Pretty face

70. Yung Baby Tate — GIRLS

Do not forget Yung Baby Tate. On the list of newcomers who released projects in 2019 that put on display their world-conquering star power, Yung Baby Tate shines. GIRLS, Tate’s independent debut, is vividly painted with shades of luscious vocals, radio-ready songwriting, and bright-colored, post-Nicki Minaj lyricism. You’ll remember Tate as the charming, Atlanta-born songstress who rapped, sung, wrote, and self-produced all 15 tracks. Tate is every woman, but also every artist, a living compilation of styles and genres. While GIRLS may be her first full-length offering, the album successfully represents her wide-ranging talents, and why Yung Baby Tate is on the road to a takeover. —Yoh

69. Baby Keem — DFMB

68. Medhane — Own Pace

67. YG — 4REAL 4REAL

66. Kaina — Next to the Sun

65. 03 Greedo & Kenny Beats — Netflix & Deal

Ever wonder what a Netflix binging session with your favorite rapper and producer would be like? 03 Greedo and Kenny Beats’ collaborative debut is the closest you’ll get this year. There’s no underlying concept about cinema’s relationship to rap or trying to create a #cinematic experience; Greedo raps about movies he used to watch in his trap house over a sampling of Kenny’s eclectic beats. Netflix & Deal is as brisk and exciting as any John Wick movie. You know bodies will be caught, but the thrill comes from seeing how they will top themselves this time. Movie magic. —Dylan "CineMasai" Green

64. Big K.R.I.T. — K.R.I.T. Iz Here

63. Roddy Ricch — Please Excuse Me For Being Antisocial

62. Dreamville — Revenge of The Dreamers III

61. Wiki — OOFIE

60. Malibu Ken — Malibu Ken

Aesop Rock deserves to have a little fun. Teaming up with producer TOBACCO for , he puts his extensive vocabulary to use, describing plants dying from neglect on tour and the inner workings of Bob Ross paintings. TOBACCO’s woozy pre-tech synths whir and click at the speed of rap, matching Rock’s saturated yellows with nauseating greens. Malibu Ken is colorful, silly, and more than just a little morbid, a perfect slice of Magic Eye playtime handspun by two of alt-rap’s most endearing weirdos. —Dylan "CineMasai" Green

59. Summer Walker — Over It

58. Jack Harlow — Confetti

57. Jhay Cortez — Famouz

56. Young Dolph & Key Glock — Dum and Dummer

55. Grip — Snubnose

Snubnose, the sophomore project by Atlanta rapper Grip, is a sneaky album. The kind of independent release that sounds major from a newcomer who could be confused as a young veteran. Where there should be kinks, Snubnose appears polished; where most artists fall into a mimicry of trends, Grip leans into original storytelling. He makes 13-tracks about gun violence feel like you’re watching a violent Quentin Tarantino film, with far-less n-words. Meticulous in form, riveting in execution, Snubnose is one rap album that you won’t forget. One of the best surprises of 2019. —Yoh

54. Roc Marciano — Marcielago

53. Young Nudy & Pi'erre Bourne — Sli'merre

52. SiR — Chasing Summer

51. Kano — Hoodies All Summer

50. YBN Cordae — The Lost Boy

YBN Cordae remembers what albums sounded like during the blog era. When Kendrick Lamar made Section.80; when J. Cole made Friday Night Lights; when Chance the Rapper made Acid Rap. Cordae channels that timeframe into , his debut album on Atlantic Records. The North Carolina-born, Maryland-raised rapper weaves through a coming-of-age story with thoughtful self-reflection, pointed storytelling, and soulful nostalgia. It’s a charming, major-label effort by a developing and youthful rapper with an open, old soul. Cordae still lacks a defining identity, but at the very least, The Lost Boy proves he knows how to tell a compelling story. —Yoh

49. Flying Lotus — Flamagra

48. Injury Reserve — Injury Reserve

47. Kevin Abstract — Arizona Baby

46. SAINt JHN — Ghetto Lenny’s Love Songs

45. Griselda — WWCD

Griselda’s debut album, WWCD, does not feel like a traditional debut. The record is wider in scope and sharper in presentation. Between the ferocity of Benny The Butcher, the ear of Westside Gunn, and the mighty snarl of Conway The Machine, Griselda are Buffalo, NY’s unstoppable force. As a group, Griselda have little to prove. Alone and together, the trio have gotten cosigns from some of hip-hop’s greatest writers: Black Thought, Pusha-T, and Raekwon. Respect given is respect earned and studied, in the case of Griselda. Bar for bar, WWCD is the essence of New York street rap for the modern era.—Donna-Claire Chesman

44. Maxo Kream — Brandon Banks

43. Kemba — Gilda

42. Mereba — The Jungle Is The Only Way Out

41. Baby Rose — To Myself

40. Lucky Daye — Painted

Given this was his debut record, Lucky Daye could've played it safe. As anyone who's heard "Roll Some Mo"—Painted's lead single and Lucky's breakout hit—knows, there's a wrenching tenderness to his voice that fits like a glove atop stripped-back production. The risk he took to pepper his album with funkier pop cuts, then, is not one every artist would have taken. Fortunately, Lucky rises to the challenge, proving himself a dynamic enough artist to erase this risk altogether. Plus, when he breaks out those vocals, they're all the more affecting because they've been used sparingly.—Hershal Pandya

39. KOTA The Friend — FOTO

No album warrants a tracklist of 19 songs. Yet, in crafting a worthy spiritual successor to the Rawkus Records era of music that many fondly romanticize, KOTA The Friend comes as close as humanly possible to justifying this run-time on FOTO. The album personifies the term “easy-listening,” maintaining a consistent mood throughout between KOTA’s strikingly unaffected delivery and the delicate, jazzy production on which he raps. No slouch on the mic, KOTA possesses a rare gift for situating bravado alongside vulnerability. He conjures favorable similarities to Phonte at his best, but not so much that FOTO ever suffers for these comparisons. —Hershal Pandya

38. Future — Future Hndrxx Presents: The WIZRD

Women, wealth, and worries are the three Ws found pulsing through the veins of Future’s seventh studio album, . Lyrically, there’s nothing new under WZRD’s promethazine sun, but the magic is in his ability to resurrect old muses as revamped concepts. Future hasn’t radically changed over the years, but here the presentation is altered. WZRD is another installment of melodic confessing, hypnotic anthems, and oil-black trap production that carries the infectious torch passed down from its predecessors. Still, it stands alone as a fresh glimpse into Future’s rockstar world. —Yoh

37. Quelle Chris — Guns

Quelle Chris is self-aware enough to know that everything in this life—emotions, money, ourselves—is weaponized. His sixth studio album Guns isn’t about physical violence as much as it’s a deconstruction of the actions we take in a world slowly devouring itself. Quelle travels the roads of Trump’s America with a twisted sense of humor and animated beats as his only sidearms, jumping between characters, ideas, and planes of existence as only he can. Guns is a polemic on reality itself, a reminder that no weapon formed against a sharp mind shall prosper. —Dylan "CineMasai" Green

36. Toro y Moi — Outer Peace

What good is inner peace when the outer world is falling apart? Toro y Moi’s Outer Peace combines a sleek disco sheen with contemporary rap cadences to bring pep to an increasingly passive-aggressive world. The housing market has crashed (“New House”), and sex barely sells like it used to (“Ordinary Pleasure”), but at least James Murphy is spinning records at his house tonight (“Laws of The Universe”). That cynical sense of humor alone will keep your toe tapping throughout Outer Peace, that is,if the gorgeous grooves and crushing low-end don’t. —Dylan "CineMasai" Green

35. James Blake — Assume Form

The most accessible of his projects to date, is a triumphant release that marks the evolution of James Blake’s artistry, as he matures past the reductive “sad boy” label he’s famously lamented. An unapologetically romantic album, Blake sheds the claustrophobic production of his previous output in favor of shimmering compositions, genuine hooks, and winning collaborations with the likes of André 3000 and Rosalia. Retaining his lyrical flair, Blake punctuates the album with quintessential lines, like “let's go home and talk shit about everyone,” that reminds you of the artist who first grabbed your attention years ago. —Hershal Pandya

34. Bad Bunny — X 100PRE

I’m in love with the way Bad Bunny says his name. I’m a sucker for a good self-reference, but I’m even more of a sucker for the way Bad Bunny bets on his longevity. With that, X 100PRE, Bunny’s debut album, is about being everlasting in a microwaved music industry. The record covers all adjacent hip-hop genres—which, at this point, means all genres—from pop-punk to trap, to lighter fare, and ballads with fine attention to getting our hips moving. You hear Bad Bunny, and you dance; you sing your heart out; you weep, and you celebrate. In one record, Bad Bunny captured every mode of human living. —Donna-Claire Chesman

33. Kyle Dion — SUGA

There are no words to explain Kyle Dion’s amazing, stunning, arresting, becoming, disarming, endearing, charming, affirming, enchanting, beguiling, mollifying, soothing, blaring, encouraging, surprising, yearning, pining, astounding, breathtaking, stupefying, thrilling, outstanding, exciting, exhilarating, electrifying, intoxicating, moving vocal tone on SUGA. Just press play. —Donna-Claire Chesman

32. Kehlani — While We Wait

While We Wait isn’t the full entrée, it’s just the appetizer. While waiting on the full-length follow-up to 2017’s SweetSexySavage, Kehlani treated fans to a taste of where she’s heading next. Kehlani bares her soul as staunchly as she always has to provide an unfiltered look into her state of mind. On While We Wait, she’s equal parts vulnerable and commanding, struggling to move on from a complicated relationship on “Too Deep” before confidently telling off an old lover on “Nunya.” With a diverse complement of beats, storylines, and moods, there’s plenty to enjoy on this small project. —Kenan Draughorne

31. 2 Chainz — Rap or Go to the League

Twenty-three years after the late, great Notorious B.I.G. rapped, “Either you’re slinging crack rock, or you got a wicked jump shot,” Atlanta hip-hop veteran 2 Chainz stands as an example of a man who had the jump shot and sold the drugs but ultimately chose rap as his escape route from poverty. His fifth studio album, Rap or Go to the League, is an opulent celebration inspired by the city that raised him and the odds he’s overcome. Rap or go to the League is a grown man still progressing as an artist, finding his most introspective voice. —Yoh

30. slowthai — Nothing Great About Britain

An agile storyteller, Northampton’s slowthai expertly mixes elements of UK grime and drill while unpacking the micro and macro of his British upbringing. Carrying no pretensions and seamlessly style-shifting across genres with his frenetic cadence, the singular rapper makes you move and listen simultaneously. In a year that has seen British rap dominate—from DAVE and Little Simz to Skepta and Octavian—slowthai’s versatility and poignant messaging set him apart. He’s funny while commanding attention, hilariously painting stark portraits of British classism, racism, and abuse in an ultimately gripping and focused fashion. —Zach Miller

29. Maxo — LIL BIG MAN

Maxo makes growing up sound incisive and blaring. This album takes place in the crevices of the torment of maturing. is a dusty reclamation of voice, relying on traditional boom bap structures and methodical writing to deliver a solemnly eviscerating experience. The wisdom baked into LIL BIG MAN will at once inspire, surprise, and soothe you. Maxo is Def Jam’s best-kept secret, but not for much longer. —Donna-Claire Chesman

28. Lizzo — Cuz I Love You

Equal parts bold, sexy, and witty, is a commanding listen that features Lizzo at her best. Harnessing her confident mic presence and ear for massive hooks, Lizzo creates a genuinely urgent body of work. A showcase for her eclectic sensibilities, the album jumps effortlessly between the eponymous opener, which recalls the work of The Alabama Shakes, to the infectious pop stylings of “Juice,” without missing a beat. It’s a shame Lizzo infamously fixated on one mixed review because overwhelmingly, the universal response to Cuz I Love You was justifiably glowing. —Hershal Pandya

27. Anderson .Paak — Ventura

A throwback to the beloved soul music of the ’70s, is a return to form for Anderson .Paak after the mixed bag that was . The key takeaway here is Anderson .Paak is fine when he raps, but he is special when he sings. Whether via the glorious, Smokey Robinson-assisted cut, “Make It Better,” or the disarmingly danceable, “Twilight,” Ventura is a breathing testament to this takeaway. The album offers lush canvasses to showcase the stunningly silky tone of .Paak’s voice. Add to this a transcendent André 3000 guest verse, and the case for Ventura becomes undeniable. —Hershal Pandya

26. GoldLink — Diaspora

Subtlety isn’t a characteristic that listeners often encounter on a major label album; the machine believes in a straight line product that doesn’t require further explanation. That’s not GoldLink. The Maryland native is a master of music woven to unveil slowly. With , his RCA “debut,” Link has created his most subtle, yet replayable work of art. Thanks to production warm as spring, Diaspora is a splash of Utopian sunshine, yet in the shadows of his lyrics, the 26-year-old is adding his mysterious life to the lexicon of Black music. It’s the mystery that endures, not the explanation, and GoldLink shapes Diaspora to be an album that lasts. —Yoh

25. Solange — When I Get Home

Solange’s take on Houston hip-hop belongs in a museum. She treats her hometown’s “chopped and screwed” traditions with elevated care throughout When I Get Home, placing it on a golden pedestal to be admired and revered. Dispersing interludes at every turn in the form of fragmented conversations and poems, she creates a linear journey that eternally builds upon itself. When “Almeda” parades into the spotlight with strutting kicks and whooping vocals, it’s impossible not to stand and salute Solange. —Kenan Draughorne

24. Rico Nasty & Kenny Beats — Anger Management

Kenny! Rico! Together! A match perfectly made, is a brisk concept album that captures all the stages of a temper tantrum and boasts some of Rico’s best work (“Big Titties”), and highlights the duo’s impeccable chemistry. Rico made this album from the heat of anger and the thrill of the up-and-down. She imparts boundless energy unto every cut. Kenny’s production is from another plane where music is warped and only made on acid. Their collective thump and vigor make Anger Management the pump-up album of every summer. —Donna-Claire Chesman

23. billy woods — Terror Management

You can’t eat books. You can’t rest easy at night. You can’t trust those closest to you. These are the lessons of billy woods’ second album of 2019, Terror Management. A show of strength from woods, who is writing through the apocalypse, Terror Management feels like being led down a series of jagged alleyways by a dishonest narrator. A narrator who is mistrustful in their own right. The album is knotty and internal. The album is wounded and beside itself. At times, Terror Management serenades fear. Sometimes, it merely quakes in place. Sometimes, woods cracks a joke. Most importantly, Terror Management is fucking good, man. Fucking. Good. —Donna-Claire Chesman

22. Ari Lennox — Shea Butter Baby

Ari Lennox blessed my new apartment during our interview; her soul is kind, and her music is knowing. Her musings on the failures of modern dating sound scrumptious with her silky vocal texture. The beauty of Shea Butter Baby is in the way Ari captures minutiae and makes it sound regal. She does not pull from the abstract, and it’s the rootedness of her art, the humble quality of the content, that makes the album such a triumph. Ari’s professing that this record is for Black women, too, is triumphant. The beauty and love of community permeate the work. —Donna-Claire Chesman

21. Polo G — Die A Legend

Polo G isn’t waiting to receive his flowers. At just 20 years old, the Chicago rapper’s debut album, Die A Legend,reads like a breathless statement of purpose. Life has taken too much from the rapper, born Taurus Bartlett, for him to quit now. Across the album’s 14 tracks, scars created by loved ones lost (“Deep Wounds”) and a corrupt police system (“BST”) compel his meticulous croons. Even a banger like “Pop Out” mixes the spoils of victory and pained reflection with dizzying ease. Die A Legend maintains this balance throughout, finding energy in the melancholic. —Dylan "CineMasai" Green

20. Snoh Aalegra — -ugh, those feels again

Often, you'll listen to a modern R&B record, and sandwiched between trap concessions and crossover attempts, will be a bare and emotive track that'll make you wonder, “why isn’t this the album?” On , Snoh Aalegra took this approach and ran with it, constructing an album composed entirely of these deep-cuts. The effect is 14 organic songs, across which Aalegra shows remarkable restraint. Though her vocals are as lush as the production, she's careful never to over-sing or push for the emotion. As she acknowledges via the album's title, the "feels" are more of an inevitability than anything else. —Hershal Pandya

19. DaBaby — Baby On Baby

DaBaby’s Baby On Baby is 32 minutes of exhilarating trap sermons. He builds the church of Baby On Baby upon confidence pure as cocaine, a charisma so contagious it could charm the Halliwell sisters. The lively, dynamic production perfectly fits his distinctive, Southern rap voice. There are few holes to be found in DaBaby’s artistic armor; it’s refreshing to hear a new artist sound so developed. Baby On Baby is one of the most replayable albums of the year, and at this rate, we will remember 2019 as the year that DaBaby broke out and began his hip-hop takeover. —Yoh

18. Burna Boy — African Giant

With African Giant, international Nigerian superstar Burna Boy created more than a masterpiece. He created a social statement and global experience. Burna paints a spiritual picture, one that is uniquely his own, yet still feels like it belongs to all of us. African Giant is undeniably Naija, dipped in history and Yoruba dialect, leaping over language and cultural barriers. Burna’s lyrics are poignant, coasting over production charged with Afrofusion anthems, dancehall riddims, and hymns. The 19-track album is not just a vibe; it’s a victory. —Ronnia Cherry

17. Boogie — Everythings For Sale

On , Boogie accomplishes the rare feat of making an intensely personal album that is simultaneously self-aware and suitably mature enough to avoid veering into the trap of solipsism. A distinctly West Coast album that borrows influences from the Midwest, Boogie brings the specificity of his lyricism to life with pretty production, alliteration-heavy flows, and an effortless knack for melody. All of these come together to create a surprisingly pleasant listening experience, despite the album’s undeniably dense subject matter. —Hershal Pandya

16. Little Brother — May The Lord Watch

That North Carolina duo Little Brother’s exists is a blessing. It was unclear if we’d ever see Little Brother—currently comprised of rappers Phonte and Rapper Big Pooh—on a record together again, but they pulled it off. On their fifth album, they sound like they’re happy to be together again. Phonte and Pooh appear rejuvenated, modernizing The Minstrel Show’saestheticwhile still dropping jewels that rap fans of any age will find relatable. The beats shimmer, and the rhymes are funny and poignant. Let’s be thankful that UBN’s hiatus was only temporary. —Dylan "CineMasai" Green

15. EarthGang — Mirrorland

EarthGang’s Dreamville debut, , doesn’t stop moving. The motion of each song is exuberant and dynamic, a result of multi-flavored carnival production paired with WowGr8 and Olu’s animated storytelling. How the creative West Atlanta duo stretch and morph their voices to match a variety of styles and sounds make for an exhilarating debut album. It’s a Crayola box wrapped in dynamite. Mirrorland explodes from start to finish. —Yoh

14. Rapsody — Eve

Rapsody’s life music has evolved. Where 2017’s saw Rap focusing inward and weaving a gorgeous tapestry of the Black woman’s experience, features Rap looking outward in all directions. With her most enlivened performances to date, Rapsody honors the Black women who came before her, all to the point of creating opportunities for the Black women who will come after her to take up space. As an album, Eve is lively and emboldened. As a mission statement, Eve is admirable. Rapsody’s deep love of history and Blackness make this the most excitable album in her deep catalog. —Donna-Claire Chesman

13. Beyoncé — HOMECOMING: THE LIVE ALBUM

I remember falling in love when I first saw the HOMECOMING: THE LIVE ALBUM during a live screening of Coachella. Beyoncé has always been a great performer, but this album is more than just a performance. HOMECOMING: THE LIVE ALBUM pays homage to the Black artists that came before Beyoncé, it acknowledges how her Blackness has shaped her, and how she has shaped her Blackness. When she decided to share this moment of brilliance with the world, there was one word that came to mind: thankful. HOMECOMING is a replica of Beyoncé’s Coachella performance. It doesn’t just take us back to the moment; it fully placed us in it, as if we were there with her witnessing her at her peak. —Simi Moonlight

12. Danny Brown — uknowhatimsayin¿

Even at its darkest, Danny Brown’s music is bunches of fun. He gets immense joy from rhyming words together over the weirdest beats he can find. His traditionalist methods and gonzo music preferences meet halfway like never before on his fifth studio album The conceptual bombast of previous projects is thrown out the studio windows for thoughtful raps over zany beats. Executive produced by Q-Tip, the project is loose and punchy, chock full of vignettes as suitable for an open-mic standup set as they are for a rap album. At 38 years old, Danny has little left to prove. uknowhatimsayin¿ makes every word count. —Dylan "CineMasai" Green

11. Megan Thee Stallion — Fever

The rise of Megan Thee Stallion is a blessing to witness. With her formal 300 Entertainment debut, the “1501 Queen” establishes herself as one of the most charismatic forthright rappers working. Her energy is explosive. Her writing is bombastic. Her deliveries are bursting with conviction and swagger. Megan Thee Mack is unchained and unstoppable on , a celebration of her Houston roots and flair for spending another man’s coin. Megan is a dominant force in hip-hop, and considering the sheer strength of Fever, she does not seem to be slowing down. —Donna-Claire Chesman

10. Young Thug — So Much Fun

is a safer work than some of Young Thug’s more elastic, head-spinning offerings. Across 18 songs, the long-awaited debut uses shoulder-shaking trap rhythms and ear-candy melodies to deliver his most accessible work since Rich Gang’s 2014 mixtape, Rich Gang: Tha Tour Pt. 1. It’s still Thug, though. He provides humor and hits, thrilling bravado, and infectious style, all while being the original nucleus that inspires many of his contemporaries today. So Much Fun is the commercial oeuvre for an artist who was always a star but never shined in the mainstream. —Yoh

9. FKA twigs — MAGDALENE

Heartbreak can be oddly beautiful. Rarely do people experience the depths of human emotion as fiercely as when they’re cocooned in its all-consuming agony. If this sounds at all like bad teenage poetry, trust me when I say FKA twigs mines this territory much more gracefully on her transcendent sophomore album, MAGDALENE. Listening to her sing tortured lyrics like, “Were you ever sure? No, no, no, not with me” in her painfully pretty falsetto, it’s hard not to luxuriate in her—and, by extension, your—palpable anguish. Musically, the album conveys the same message more viscerally. It envelops you in asphyxiating production, delivering pockets of euphoric catharsis in the form of cinematic instrumental flourishes and twigs’ gorgeous, boundless vocals. —Hershal Pandya

8. MAVI — Let the Sun Talk

MAVI wants us to understand him on his terms. At just 20 years old, the Charlotte, North Carolina native is capable of bending words to his will, a Sorcerer Supreme in the making coming to grips with his Infinity Stone. On his debut album, , MAVI’s words exist on the borders of Black thought, spirituality, and raw honesty; they are puzzles revealing different configurations with every listen. If you know, you know, and if you don’t, MAVI’s technical skill and ear for beats are enough to pull in weary travelers. —Dylan "CineMasai" Green

7. billy woods & Kenny Segal — Hiding Places

billy woods and Kenny Segal are not scared; they are not in hiding. Instead, they are affecting wordsmith and mad scientist banding together to traverse the depths of retread emotions. A record concerned with the past and what it means for an emotional space to become hollow, will challenge and reward you in the same turn. Kenny Segal’s production is quietly cacophonous and cloudy, while woods presents his most direct and open writing to date. The pair belongs together. —Donna-Claire Chesman

6. Denzel Curry — ZUU

Denzel Curry is proof you can always go home. His latest album, ZUU, is a testament to home as the ultimate battery charger. Curry sheds the conceptual bombast of his last album, TA13OO, in favor of a non-stop thrill ride through the streets of his native Carol City, Florida. The sun-drenched comforts and drawbacks of home, along with clanging production from longtime collaborators FnZ, help him paint some of the most vivid images of his career. These are top-down bangers baked in the 98-degree sun. With ZUU, Denzel Curry found freedom in his backyard. —Dylan "CineMasai" Green

5. Little Simz — GREY Area

Little Simz wants you to stop fucking with her heart. She says as much two tracks into , her boldly cathartic third studio album. At 25, Simz is approaching the threshold of adulthood with more questions than answers, armed with bars that cut to the bone. She’s been one of the UK’s best rappers for years, but her songs have never been so focused, the beats—cooked up by longtime producer Inflo—never so varied and explosive. GREY Area is her masterwork, a panoramic view of a future star fighting back a quarter-life crisis. —Dylan "CineMasai" Green

4. Dave — Psychodrama

Plenty of reviews have regarded Dave’s as an album of a generation, a landmark of UK hip-hop, and we have to agree. Dave burrows into the depths of his psyche, and bravely reports his findings in an accessible and banging format. He makes the intimate aggressive and touching all at once. Psychodrama reveals Dave to be a master writer and rapper, an artist’s artist, and an artist to watch for years to come. —Donna-Claire Chesman

3. Freddie Gibbs & Madlib — Bandana

Good rap sequels are hard to come by. Thankfully, Freddie Gibbs and Madlib aren’t your average rapper-producer duo. Their debut album, 2014’s , recontextualized their respective sounds while cross-pollinating with each other’s audiences. This year’s is more holistic in form, its creators in sync for the first time. Their camaraderie strengthens Gibbs’ elastic flows (“Situations”) and storytelling (“Fake Names”) as much as it pushes Madlib to embellish his trademark samples with trap hi-hats (“Half Manne Half Cocaine”) and crisp kick drums (“Gat Damn”). Trust and freedom embolden this latest chapter in the MadGibbs Cinematic Universe. —Dylan "CineMasai" Green

2. Jamila Woods — Legacy! Legacy!

Jamila Woods makes eternal music. Her runs, her inflections, and her writing are all meant to stand the test of time. On Legacy! Legacy!,Jamila performs a time-bending act, bringing her literary heroes back to life and keeping them squarely in our thoughts as she carries their poetics into her classic album. Legacy!’s success is rooted in a fullness of life and self-love. There is so much agony in the world, but there is still so much love to share. Jamila Woods is in the business of spreading love. Plus, the record also doubles as a great reading list. —Donna-Claire Chesman

1. Tyler, the Creator — IGOR

was a new dawn for Tyler, The Creator. A heartbroken and deluxe dawn. A funky and riveting one. IGOR covered the whole spectrum of heartache. From urgency and helplessness to naming, to pining, to grieving, to coming into yourself. Every step of nursing our lost souls was found on IGOR. The operative question of this epic album is: Who do we become when the rug is pulled out from under us, and our hearts break? The answer is multiple, and each thread of reply makes up the fabric of IGOR. We became angry. We become obsessive. We become deranged. We become desperate, at first for the past, and finally, for peace.

We’ve lived with IGOR for seven months. In those seven months, new meanings have continued to reveal themselves as the album gets uninterrupted play. I heard IGOR at a taco spot in Philly. I hear IGOR in my sleep. The ubiquity of its themes makes it an easy record to latch onto, sure. But the sparkle of its static, the grandiosity of its arrangement, and the needling melodies and vocal performances make IGOR a sonic marvel, too. Let’s also not forget this album is a queer triumph.

IGOR is the album of the year because it was the most ambitious and wrenching record of 2019. IGOR is an album you hold tight and play deep into the night and then play again when the sun comes up, and your eyes are crusted. It’s the album you remember during your last fight, and the album you play when you’ve achieved apathy in the face of pain. It’s the album for when you care too much, and for when you sincerely hope they’re happy. IGOR is as spectacular as the heartbreak itself.

In a world committed to making us all feel like tiny performers on tiny stages, dancing for imaginary currency, IGOR expands our universes. Suddenly, our every move feels precious, purposeful. Our feelings become valid; our hopes and dreams become imperative. Who we are is imperative. Tyler may be wearing a pressed suit and wig, but he is unmasked. Thanks to IGOR, we follow suit.—Donna-Claire Chesman

This content was originally published here.

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falseroar · 6 years ago

Text

Dark Laughter Part 10: You Look Like Me

((Here’s the link to the previous part, Part 9: Storm Warning. This is definitely the darkest part of the series, with physical violence, suggested choking/stabbing, and suggested major character death. No gore and limited details, but still important to know going in.))

“Dark?” Wilford’s voice boomed out as he roamed the empty halls of the ego house. “Come on out, you silly goose!”

He opened a door at random and frowned at the darkened study. No one there.

The slam of the door met the rumble of thunder in the distance.

Wilford blinked, pink slipping in around the brown of his eyes as he went to the next door.

Another study, this one smaller with a single desk covered with notes and books. Newspaper clippings and photos were pinned all over the walls alongside post-it notes covered in erratic scribbles. In the typewriter, closely typed lines filled the page, some of the words merging together in the writer’s haste to type the same sentence over and over again.

“Well that doesn’t seem right,” Wilford said, his tone overly cheery as he shut the door.

He paused and opened the same door again to find a bedroom on the other side. Probably Ed Edgar’s, judging by the number of cowboy hats, but Wilford wasn’t one to judge.

Rain pelted the window on the far side of the room and a streak of lightning flashed outside. It briefly lit up a mess of covers and clothes strewn around a massive bed, a broken picture frame lying on the floor where a man in a uniform stared back at the camera. And then the room was back to normal, from the industrial-size tub of mustache wax at the foot of the bed to the posters of Buffalo Bill and Billy Mays on the walls.

The crash of thunder this time completely covered the sound of the door shutting and rumbled on as Wilford went through the house, his path becoming increasingly erratic with every roll of thunder, every flash of lightning. He moved from door to door and floor to floor without passing any of the space in between, but the longer he searched, the more what he saw just stopped making any sense.

Then again, when did anything here make any sense?

Wilford kept searching but, funnily enough, it was getting harder to remember exactly who he was looking for.

Well, whoever they were, he’d find where they were hiding eventually.

He had to.

Another burst of thunder shook the house and he laughed, but for some reason it sounded more like a broken, cracked sob.

---

“How?”

Dark moved closer to the mirror, staring intently at the District Attorney standing on the other side.

“How are you here, like this?”

They spoke, but after a few words Dark had to shake his head.

“I can’t hear a word you’re saying.” He moved closer to the glass, aware that he did not seem to have a reflection. It gave the impression that he was looking into a window which just so happened to have an identical version of your room on the other side than an actual mirror. They did not back away, but their eyes narrowed as he approached. “You…you’re the one who remembers.”

They nodded, once.

“Y/N—The other Y/N, do they know you’re in here?”

They shook their head.

“How long have you been in here?

One shoulder up and then down again in a half shrug.

Dark paused, letting this information sink in. He knew how you referred to the District Attorney, to the one who remembered as if they were a separate person. He’d thought you were just trying to blank out those memories, that with the right…incentive you would remember more than just the random flashes. That is, until he “borrowed” your body in the events leading up to his eviction. In that short time, he’d felt a second presence hiding in the back, stirring up memories and…other things best left forgotten, the same presence that had tried to fight him before he left them in the mirror all those years ago.

“Can I assume you just didn’t want to go back to where you felt more…at home?” he asked, rapping a knuckle on the glass of the mirror.

They scowled and made a gesture that Dark had no trouble identifying.

“Rude. And foolish, considering your situation.” Dark spoke with practiced confidence, but he couldn’t take his eyes off of them. This was…well, more than unexpected. It was interesting. He only managed to meet their eyes, the decades of pain and anger there, for just a few seconds before he looked away. “Then explain or stop wasting my time.”

They shook their head and sighed. After taking a moment to look past Dark, they turned and walked toward the back wall of the bedroom reflected behind him, where your board with its pictures hung above your dresser. They studied the pictures and took two down before returning to their place in the mirror opposite Dark, where they held up two different pictures of you, one from the beach and one from a project you had helped Mark on recently.

“Not the best pictures,” Dark answered and they sighed again. Remembering everything seemed to have done a number on their supply of patience. That, or they grudged every minute of this “conversation” with him. “I get it, you and Y/N.”

They shook their head and pointed at the first picture.

“Y/N.”

They nodded and pointed at themselves and the picture again, then held it possessively to their chest. It took a few more variations on the gesture before Dark said, “Your Y/N?”

The District Attorney nodded and their glare quickly made the smirk forming on Dark’s lips disappear.

“Fine, your Y/N. Then who is that supposed to be?” Dark asked, gesturing toward the second picture.

They looked around before giving up and taking their own fingernail to the picture. By the time they finished scraping away at the image and held it up for Dark to see, the you in that picture’s eyes had been completely marked out and a smiled scratched above the lower half of your face.

Any breath Dark had he lost as he stared at the image. With more vivid detail than he ever wanted, he saw you again, bloody and smiling in the mirror downstairs. He remembered the split second when he woke up in his office and saw “you” leaning over him, but your eyes…

There was nothing there.

“The Mask,” he whispered and the District Attorney nodded. “No, it…Why…If you knew it was here, why didn’t you do something?!”

The District Attorney gestured helplessly at the mirror.

“Don’t give me that! You and Y/N, you’ve warned them before, you’ve stopped me before, you should’ve been able to—”

They shook their head and help up the damaged picture of you, of the Mask, and laid it over the normal picture of you before pantomiming it pulling the normal picture away from their outstretched hand.

“It’s keeping you from them.” Dark stared at their reflection as this sank in. The District Attorney, locked away again, not even able to warn you of what was coming. How many times had they tried to reach out to the others, and he was the first to notice? “I didn’t even know that was possible.”

The District Attorney’s eyes went down to the pictures in their hands and he watched as their anger and impatience with him turned into worry and sadness.

“It isn’t, is it?” Dark asked, but the District Attorney didn’t look up. Two sets of memories, but one existed before the mirror, while the second was created inside of it, inside of that house, in another place entirely based on what you had said before. You weren’t made to walk around this reality, at least not alone.

“Y/N, where are they now?”

The District Attorney went back to the pictures and returned with one of several of the egos posing in front of a sandcastle, but their finger pointed out one in particular.

“Dr. Iplier. The infirmary?” When they nodded, Dark realized he needed to go, but thought he should point out one possible solution to their problem. “Y/N, you don’t have to stay trapped in this mirror. The…’other’ you may be unavailable at the moment, but there is an alternative.”

They took it about as well as Dark expected them to, which is to say that if any stare could turn him to stone, theirs came extraordinarily close. He didn’t need to be able to read lips to guess what they said in response, but he could practically feel the venom coming through the glass.

“Well, it’s your choice, of course,” Dark said and turned to leave but stopped short when he heard another knock on the mirror.

The District Attorney had moved to the back of the reflection and now stood next to the dresser. As Dark watched, they pointed at the bizarre stuffed animal sitting on top of it, the one Wilford gave you.

“This?” Dark asked as he picked it up. “You can’t seriously expect me to take this with me.”

The District Attorney nodded solemnly, their eyes meeting his with every ounce of sincerity.

“Fine,” Dark said, if only because he didn’t have time to argue. He tucked the rabbit or bear or whatever the thing was under his arm and pretended like he couldn’t see the smile on the District Attorney’s face. “But once I’m done fixing this, you owe me.”

At the door, he glanced over his shoulder again, but the District Attorney was gone. Holding on to the ridiculous stuffed animal, Dark disappeared into his aura and took the more direct route to the infirmary.

He stepped out of the darkness and, with perfect dramatic timing he could have done without, the thunder outside roared as he took in the sight of you, shivering in your sleep on one of the infirmary beds. There was no sign of the doctor anywhere, and the only other person in the room was the broken Google android that lay just outside the storage room door, the ‘G’ on its green shirt faded and dark.

He could hardly count the other you sitting perched on the foot of the bed as a person, with its blank eyes focused on the door and a smile on its face as if it had been expecting him.

“You certainly took your time, didn’t you? Not like there’s anything important on the line for you though, so…” The Mask swung its legs back and forth a couple of times before jumping up to its feet. “I can’t blame you too much. Still was really looking forward to seeing you again after our last little meeting, do you remember that?”

Dark stood his ground as the thing approached but felt his aura swirl protectively around him. Did he remember? Even just looking at those empty eyes and the complete and total nothing behind them he felt the pain in his arm again where it had carelessly broken it over a year ago. That, when he had come at it with everything he had. He’d learned then that whatever this thing was, he couldn’t fight or manipulate it. He knew of creatures like this, demons or manifestations or whatever the human word for it might be, but that was just the point: it wasn’t human. It wasn’t even on the same level as that glitch, because at least he could pretend to reason with Anti or at the very least steer that homicidal rage into something beneficial, but Dark had no idea what this thing actually wanted. Well, beyond spreading like a virus to possess and make everyone “look like” it.

But he wasn’t here to fight it, or talk to it. Right now, he just had to get close enough to you that his aura could get both of you out of this room and away from that thing’s influence. If that meant playing along and distracting it, then fine.

“I seem to recall an…incident,” Dark said, careful not to take his eyes off of it. “But you were wearing a different mask at the time.”

“Maybe I thought it was time for a change?” The Mask shrugged and appeared next to your bed, where it looked down at you and smiled. The color had faded from your lips, which pressed together with another shiver. Aside from that small movement you were still, chest barely rising with each breath. Beside your body, the Mask looked like a faded version of you but not by much. Less “real” in comparison, like it wasn’t fully here yet, but at this rate that wouldn’t last for much longer. It was growing stronger for every moment you grew weaker.

The Mask turned its head toward Dark, the same stagnant smile in place. “No, maybe it’s because of the way you all look at this mask. Even your dear blind ‘favorite’ hesitated, and he knew in an instant what he was looking at.”

“The Host?” Dark asked, stopping short in his attempt to move closer to the bed. If anything, that smile grew wider as he measured his reaction. At least one casualty already then, not including a Google, but Dark knew he had just left some of the egos minutes ago. They couldn’t all be infected, not yet. And it could all be undone, if they could just get rid of this thing again. Priorities, then: keep talking. “You’ve been busy, although I suppose you would need to make up for lost time. You said I took my time, but it took you over a year to even show any kind of face around here.”

“I…Was curious, of the one who sent me back after so much time together in the place beyond the mirror, of the man with all the masks and all these parts to get to play, of all these lovely puppets and fans and of so much potential to consider. Of the curious little house who became a voice and offered a choice and became…something else.” The Mask was back in front of Dark again, this time its version of your face far too close to his own. “Now isn’t that interesting?”

“Your rhymes could use some work,” Dark replied.

He immediately regretted it when the Mask laughed. It sounded nothing like your own laugh, or like any sound a living creature would want to make in any state of mind, and it continued for far too long.

Dark’s eye twitched as his aura began to ring, the darkness gathering in around him as the lights overhead flickered. “Your interest is…flattering, but my condition is old news at this point. I’m more curious about what you are. Why are you here? What could you possibly want from these idiots and bleeding hearts that you couldn’t find somewhere else?”

“See, you’re missing the point here, just how simple it is. Me—no no no, the question is, what do you want?” The Mask giggled and began to pace around the infirmary, fiddling with the corner of your blanket or the curtains as it passed by, but always, always keeping that smile and those hollow eyes on Dark. “I learned so much watching you, saw how…alike we are. Let’s be honest, nothing would make me happier than to see the Entity smile one last time.”

Dark turned as if to keep the Mask in sight, but the movement brought him closer and closer to your bed. Just a little closer, but at those words he stilled and his aura took on a violent hue, with a split-second afterimage snarling at the figure across the room.

“We are nothing alike—You are just a pathetic creature playing at being someone else. Without that “mask” of yours, you are nothing.”

The mask in question tilted its head without responding, but that smile on the image of your face twitched slightly.

“And you do not get to call me the Entity, or Celine, or Damien. I am them and so much more. I am certainly more than a pointless, messed-up reflection like you.”

“You don’t like my mask? Oh, yes, you did throw this face away when you had the chance, but maybe you’ll…Understand the desire to have a body of your own, a face of your own, even if you have to take it from someone else first.” It picked up a scalpel from among a line of Dr. Iplier’s instruments and twirled it between its fingers as it spoke, and Dark swore one of those blank, hollow eyes closed for a split second in a wink.

“…You might be projecting a little,” Dark said, and the smile grew just that much wider.

“Look at you, how far you’ve come, it’s…inspired me. Only you let all of these ‘idiots and bleeding hearts’ you called them hold you back, treat you like you’re nothing again? One has to wonder if you just want to go back to being a whisper in the darkness, a…suggestion in the mind. Knowing how fun that can be after my own experimentation, it’s still…disappointing.”

Experimentation? Dark briefly wondered what this thing had been doing besides haunting him but brushed the thought away. He feigned walking closer to the Mask, the path just so happening to bring him closer to your bed. It moved like Wilford, often skipping the space in between it and where it wanted to go, but Dark just had to get you in his aura and it wouldn’t matter.

“I, unlike you, understand the value of patience. I don’t need to possess everyone to make them do what I want when a word here and a word there is so much easier. And, you’ll notice that they chose to bring me back while you are just going to be thrown back to whatever crack you slithered out of. They know, and they will always remember, how much they need me.”

“Lovely speech,” the Mask said in the same cheery voice as always. “Is that what you tell yourself? Knowing that, you certainly don’t need some loose end getting in the way after you thought you took care of it so long ago. Easy enough to take care of that for you.”

Dark blinked and the Mask was gone from its spot on the other side of the room beside the instrument tray. Behind him, he heard a giggle and turned in time to see it balance the scalpel still in hand as it stood next to the head of your bed.

“No!”

It laughed as the word escaped from Dark’s lips.

“Maybe not then, maybe there’s something that could be done to make…Everyone so much happier, so much more ready to smile for me.”

Dark moved at the same time as the Mask, aura lashing out to keep it from getting any closer to you, but he was not prepared for it to lunge toward him instead. It reached for him with its mask of you, your hand gripping Dark’s throat as it bore him down toward the ground.

Dark’s voice and breath couldn’t escape as his aura lashed out wildly, tearing into the false form of you, unable to look away from your face that wasn’t made to smile that way, your eyes that lacked any spark of anything beyond that cold emptiness and, somewhere in the void, something else looked out.

But the Mask continued to smile as if it could not feel the cuts while its other hand, the one holding the scalpel, moved and Dark gasped. His aura reacted to the pain, splintering into multiple afterimages as the Mask added its weight to the point.

“Beneath it all, beneath that face you stole…You look like me.” It shouldn’t have been able to smile any wider or tilt its head that way as it saw the darkness of his aura begin to split and flicker between red, and blue, and, because it was looking for it, an echo of green. “Even after all this time, you just can’t let them go. But don’t worry, this will help. You’ll have all the time you need to realize where you went wrong, where you lost control, and who knows, maybe we’ll meet again…Entity.”

It watched, and smiled, as the last of Dark’s aura faded away until he stopped struggling.

((End of Part 10. Thank you for reading. Just a random question, but have you ever noticed anything about the way Maskiplier talks?

Link to Part 11: Heartbeat here!

Tagging: @silver-owl413 @skyewardlight @withjust-a-bite @blackaquokat @catgirlwarrior @neverisadork @luna1350 @oh-so-creepy @purpstraw @weirdfoxalley @95fangirl @lilalovesinternet-l @thepoolofthedead @a-bit-dapper @randomartdudette @geekymushroom @cactipresident @hotcocoachia @purple-anxiety-blog @shyinspiredartist @avispate ))

#markiplier #fanfic #wkm district attorney #wkm y/n #darkiplier #wkm colonel #maskiplier #everything's fine #dark laughter #This is not the end #A secret hidden within a friend #The Smile never seems to learn #The Darkness can always return

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onenightstandsdontsharesweaters · 6 years ago

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One Night Stands Don’t Give You Their Sweaters When It’s Cold

Frat parties are great places for mistakes and I guess that’s where he comes in. I attract crazy like a magnet, whatever it is about me that brings situations like this towards me, I wish I could tell you. Sometimes I wish I could stop it. It feels like everyone else’s world keeps on turning and I get stuck, upside down, with no gravity.

It started like how a lot of things start for me, a boring day and my impulsiveness to say yes.

Three hours, I was in a three hour night class. I was absolutely fine with rapidly scribbling down notes as the prof flipped through slides just a little too fast. Nothing bothered me until an opportunity popped up on my phone.

This has happened before, two of my roommates text me, telling me about how Travis, a guy across the hall, needs to bring a girl to some fraternity party. It’s always for some requirement of whatever weird pledge thing they’re putting him through and they sacrifice me for it every time.

It’s understandable though, my one roommate, Emily, has varsity skating at six in the morning, so partying is definitely out of the question. While for Shikha, she kind of had a thing with Travis the first week, we don’t talk about it, they’re still good friends, but she would never want to go to a party alone with him because of it. So that just leaves me, excluding our fourth roommate, but that’s a tale for another time.

Anyways, immediately the texts awakens me from my note-taking trance. It’s the two of them and once again Travis needs a girl and apparently, I’m that girl. I, of course, agree to it, I have no oppositions in the first place, plus Travis is my friend and I want to support him. I text him and receive a surprising lack of response considering they told me this was an emergency.

It throws off my groove, but whatever, if it wasn’t meant to be.

It was quite cold outside for it being only late September, but I still found myself sweating in jeans and a long sleeve. The streetlights lead me down the sidewalk back to my dorm, one of the few things I love about that night class, an excuse to put some headphones in and stroll back home under the moonlight as if I was in an old movie.

Any sereneness I might have felt quickly dissipated when I made it to the third floor of my dorm and stopped by Travis’ room, just to see what was happening with this thing.

If you’ve ever had a six foot four, deaf, Polish guy wearing a full suit grab you by the shoulders, yelling, “You have five minutes before the bus comes, go!” Then I don’t have to describe how offputting it is, because I couldn’t even if I tried. My head was spinning, he was in a full suit, I was trying to ask him what I should wear, but he was too distracted to answer, and for some odd reason someone was screaming in the background, which I learned later on in the year that that’s a common thing for their room.

In the end, the two us, plus a girl he knew from high school, managed to get across the street to the bus stop, only to decide to take an Uber. I was pretty happy I already had mascara on from class, I had just enough time to put on some concealer and change into my token party outfit, high-waisted shorts, and the plunging top with the criss-cross that makes my boobs look really good (obviously important). The whole ride there Travis was lecturing me that shorts weren’t enough since it’s cold outside and my only protest was that I was sweating and at least I brought a flannel.

Needless to say, Travis ditched me and his high school friend the second we stepped out of the car and her and I spent most of the party awkwardly moving to different corners of the room, trying to find something to wash away the taste of the shitty, watered-down beer they provided us with.

Okay, so this is the part of the story I’ve been gradually getting to. Now, there is something at parties I do that you need to know. Whenever I go to a party for the first little while I’m there when I haven’t started dancing yet and am still drinking, I scope out the crowd for cute guys. I usually pick out a handful that stick out to me and make really crappy attempts to get next to them whenever I get bored.

This tradition continues on at this party as well and there’s this one guy with really cute hair, who I’m into the most out of all the ones I chose. Throughout the night he keeps coming into my field of vision and obviously I have nothing else to do, especially once Travis’ friend leaves to Buffalo the frat guys (if you don’ t know what that is, urban dictionary it, it’s the drinking game one, not the sexual definition), so I make a few shit attempts to stand next to him to get him to notice me. But I was way too sober for this event so I end up perched on the arm of the couch trying to charge my phone enough to call my friend Anthony to come and pick me up.

When for the love of God my phone dies before Anthony has a chance to answer me and at the time I didn’t know what a blessing and a curse that’d be because the guy with the cute hair comes over and needs a partner for beer pong. Everything kind of goes downhill from there.

From foosball to beer pong I was better than him every time, so of course when he invited me back to his place how could I refuse kicking his ass one more time and if I didn’t know any better I would’ve been naïve to what games he really wanted to play.

One of the saddest parts of this story is I lost at Mario Kart, he whooped my ass hard, in more ways than one ;) Okay that was an awful joke, but if you’ve made it this far in the story then you gotta put up with my shitty humor.

So, I’m usually not inclined to stay the night anywhere since I prefer my own bed and as much as I love the crude way of removing my eye makeup with hand soap and toilet paper, I like to shower at my own place. But when its three in the morning and someone’s offering to drive me back home the next morning, fuck it, pass me that Bath and Body Works.

Needless to say, we both barely slept that night, tossing and turning and him letting me keep the window open despite the fact that he wanted it closed. So when seven a.m. rolled around I was ecstatic when he left to go pick up his car from the frat. So there I am, in this plush robe and t-shirt that isn’t mine fucking around on my phone because it’s too bright to go back to bed, like who the hell doesn’t have curtains? One of his roommates already left before he got up, leaving one left.

Now I should mention all night whenever we were both in his room he would lock the door, so I figured it was habit and did it too, but when he left I thought it’d be if I did weird since he’d have to get back in and I didn’t want to get up etc.

So here I am, in this guy’s robe, lying Paint Me Like One of Your French Girls style across the bed, I hear the other roommate get up since the floorboards were really creaky whatever. But from growing up in an old house I have a knack for telling where someone is in a house by the creaks and I swore I was hearing them come closer to the bedroom. Which was weird, since the bathroom and roommate’s room was on the other side of the open area, there was nothing to be over here for, so I just dismissed it.

Then my head pops up as the door slightly cracks open our eyes locking, between bubblegum lips a soft voice says “hi”, the two of us looking like a deer caught in headlights, both unsure which one of us was the deer and which one was the car. After a hot second, obviously not being the person she was looking for she closes the door and I go back to my games.

Whenever I tell this story a lot of people freak out thinking I just met his girlfriend, now if I did, well fuck that sucks, but after explaining a few details like the separate room situation and that the house wasn’t the frat house, people usually chill out especially since the reality is a lot weirder for a university student with their own house.

“So, I see you met my sister.” Was the first thing he said when he came back.

“Oh yeah, she seems nice.” You know if I can’t be sarcastic what else can I be?

“Yeah, I was gonna get us coffee, but after she texted me that, I wasn’t sure if you’d still be here, figured you either be asleep or gone.”

Well sorry to disappoint dude.

To be honest, the morning could have gone worse, I got dressed in the shorts and flannel not wanting to squeeze my body back into that black shirt like butter in a tube sock, so I tied it around my purse and threw up hair up in a bun. The lucky son of a bitch got to put on sweatpants and a sweater, sliding on these wire owl glasses that I did not he wore, reminding me of my step-grandpa. Thank God he didn’t put those on before otherwise, I wouldn’t have stopped thinking about him. Breakfast was crepés made from batter that was in the fridge with peanut butter on them since those were the only two breakfast items he had.

But to be honest it almost felt cold, we didn’t really speak, from the little kisses and snuggles he gave me last night it seemed like a complete flip of a card. Going from hearing about his depressing breakup with his ex ‘cause she slept with the president of his frat and having him hold me so close even if I turned away to barely exchanging a few words besides some dry sarcasm was a little like a slap in the face.

You would think the rest of the morning would be fine, whatever I met his sister, shit happens. Well, I guess he didn’t think that he’d be too tired to drive, so we took the bus. Yes, we took the bus back together to campus. Which wouldn’t have been so bad except I’ve never used this city’s bus system, a lot dicier than the GO bus back home and because it was colder in the morning so I had to hear him patronizing me.

“Why are you wearing shorts? It’s cold out.”

Well, I didn’t exactly have a catwalk collection to pick out from this morning.

“Who the hell wears shorts to a party?”

Those who are going to a house party in September, that’s just obvious.

“I would give you my sweater, but I don’t think I would be getting it back and I kind of need it.”

Wasn’t gonna ask, but I was dumb to think you might’ve. Because as much as I didn’t admit to myself, I wanted and imagined he would.

The asshole put on headphones, leaving me to stand awkwardly facing him for about a twenty-minute bus ride and I’m pretty sure everyone knew what happened to me. Who else ties their shirt to their bag at 8:30 in the morning? The only reassuring part of the bus ride was he told me when my stop was leaving with him wishing me luck in my Spanish class. Which didn’t help.

I take no more than three steps before familiar laughter explodes behind me and I turn around to see two girls from my floor absolutely dying. They ask for details, what happened, who I slept with, etc. When I jab my thumb to the still open bus doors and say, “him.” Which erupts in another explosion of laughter.

When I finally make it back inside my dorm, I am relieved to see my roommate still waiting for me in the cafe as she slowly claps for my catwalk of shame to which I have to dramatically bow back, getting some pretty confusing looks from others.

Now I guess there is no point to this story, there was one originally when I started writing this all the way back in September when I felt the irritation of the guy’s comments and the lack of kindness when he spoke to me in the morning, the awkwardness of the bus ride back and the slight embarrassment of the story being passed around my floor.

But so much has changed now, I’m even less inclined to stay over at a hookups place anymore, I’ve never had to ride the bus back from a one-night-stand again and the strangers who once playfully teased me for my elaborate hookup story (which is better in person, since it would be too much to include all the details in writing) has become my family.

I guess a part of me hookups with guys not only for the sex, but for the moment where you almost feel loved and cared for, and during my first university one-night-stand, I was a little more naïve and maybe deep down, hoped someone would love me. But a hookup doesn’t love you, no matter how much it may feel like it and I guess I had to get the mirror shattered for me because no matter what, one-night-stands don’t share their sweaters when it gets cold.

- Stella V

#one night stand #frat #frat boys

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duelingstreetrat · 6 years ago

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@kaiba-the-grumpy-dragon ||| Help Wanted...?

The help wanted ad was the last thing he ever expected to find in any job search site he frequented, but here he was. Looking at a job wanted ad. From Kaiba Corp.

Of course, he technically had all the bare minimum qualifications. He was charismatic (so said people who weren’t him), an honorable man, a duelist and just made it through high school by the skin of his teeth. He’d held many jobs during his school career, which he figured would help his resume some...

But he needed more.

So it wasn’t too far from him to consider that, perhaps, a cover letter was needed.

He’d slaved over it for days. Not because Kaiba Corp was a dream job. He knew the CEO too well to have any visions of grandeur or even the fancy of a comfortable, low-effort job lined up for this position. Seto Kaiba was a man of exacting standards that were nearly impossible to reach if you couldn’t be half as ambitious as him.

He slaved over it. Sweated, bled, tore up several drafts...

And then he figured...

Fuck it.

There was no way he was getting this job. Even with his long work history, with his personal connection with the CEO, with his intimacy with KC products (oh, how he craved the duel disk updates), he’d never get hired.

So he wrote the cover letter that he felt would best suit the situation.

An honest one.

To Whom It May Concern... Potentially Seto Kaiba,

You won’t hire me. Despite my familiarity with Kaiba Corps’ growing line of game-specific devices (Duel disks, virtual reality systems for RPGs and so on), being a Duel Monsters semi-finalist in two tournaments (Duelist Kingdom and Battle City) as well as being fairly familiar with Kaiba personally, you won’t hire me.

Despite this, I’ll continue on trying to convince you.

I’ll do this because I know Seto Kaiba. He doesn’t expect excellence. He expects perfection. He chases it like a starved lion spotting a wounded water buffalo by the watering hole. He’s always had an exacting eye -- to the frustration of all, including himself -- and he’ll expect this from whatever poor soul he chooses to be his assistant.

You won’t get that from me. He knows this.

But here’s what you will get: improvisation. You see my resume. My job history isn’t at all consistent. I’ve been delivery boy, ramen shop chef, big store cashier, telemarketer and much more. It’s because I can roll with the punches. I can plan, and then when plans go wrong, I can work with what’s left.

Kaiba is a genius. Thorough, meticulous, merciless in goal setting.

But he can’t improvise. He can’t lose, so he’s never had to wonder what to do when everything falls apart and it’s just him and the shattered remains of what was supposed to be a flawless execution of months of hard work.

I can improvise. Call my former employers, they’ll never once tell you that I was ever sitting still. I was always on my feet, springing into action when things went wrong. When we ran out of mushroom at the Itchi (Itchy) Noodle ramen shop, I was the one with the connections and the speed to run out and get us more than enough to get us through the lunch hour rush. When the printer at the local paper jammed, I was the one who fixed and cleaned it in time for our morning delivery. Never mind my ability to turn things around for myself during a duel.

You won’t hire me. There are people already trained for this work (I know you’ve noted I have no secretary experience), who’ve done it longer, who’ve been trained to deal with Kaiba’s “type” before.

But there is no Kaiba Type.

It’s just Kaiba. And that alone will send them running in weeks.

You won’t hire me, and you know what? I don’t blame you. But I’m putting this foot forward. As someone who’s known Kaiba, as someone who won’t back down or cave to him, as someone who knows a stumble isn’t a failure, I’m putting this on the table.

If you do decide to hire me, though, I’m hoping we can discuss ways to make the push of Kaiba Corps’ furture successes more fluid and -- Gods willing -- something more obtainable.

For your sakes.

;)

With Healthy Regards,

Jounochi Katsuya

Way to stab yourself in the foot there, buddy.

#long post #kaiba the grumpy dragon

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nwdsc · 2 years ago

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(▶︎ Imagine I'm Hoping | Paddy Hannaから)

Imagine I'm Hoping by Paddy Hanna

There are few artists who could count Burt Bacharach and Fontaines DC amongst their fans but Paddy is one of them. The Dubliner has long eschewed passing fads in favour of timeless melodies and fine songwriting, leading indie music bible The Quietus to call him “a songwriter with a propensity for wildly infectious hooks and choruses that burrow into your brain with no intention of leaving.” One thing is for sure, since 2014’s debut Leafy Stiletto, 2018’s Frankly, I Mutuate, and 2020’s The Hill, Paddy has been basking in the light of something quite pure, and perhaps unexpected from someone who has previously been influenced by darker subject matter—love. “Everything about this new record is borne out of love, which is the first time I can say that,” he says. “During the pandemic, I got engaged and married. The album was recorded while there was a baby in my wife’s belly. Everyone who worked on the album, I have the greatest affection for. It was just a lovely experience. It was love on top of love. The album, thematically, is about letting go of things.” Album opener ‘Look For Tomorrow,’ with its bright strums of guitar and Paddy’s impressive falsetto, certainly embodies this sentiment of moving on from the past. The song ends on a bombastic note, buoyed by brass fanfare; it’s a watershed moment to prepare us for the rest of Imagine I’m Hoping. ‘A Dancer’ follows with indie fervour: furiously cascading piano, sleigh bells on the chorus, and an ebullience that propels you to the dancefloor. Paddy’s delivery is whisper-soft on the classic pop tune ‘New York Sidewalk,’ made with the help of frequent collaborator Daniel Fox (Gilla Band). “The whole crux of ‘New York Sidewalk’ is that things in life that happen that can be bad can become funny in later life, you know,” he explains. “So, like, going to New York and trying to make a name for yourself out there, but instead making a tit out of yourself. But then the song ends looking back in a bit of a Hemingway situation, where you’re telling the story to someone and it’s like ‘It made you laugh, saw you smiling, that’ll do.’ See what I mean? It’s about not being a victim to the past anymore.” Despite Paddy’s more summery sound on Imagine I’m Hoping, he is still deeply influenced by horror movies and all things macabre. “When people think of music inspired by horror they think of White Zombie or something like that,” Hanna says. “Or a music video where a shaky camera goes down a corridor and zooms in on a doll with no eyes—it’s so cheesy. Most of the best horror soundtracks are, like, Rosemary’s Baby or Enninio Morricone on The Thing; the most terrifying soundtracks are often the prettiest. It’s all about contrast.” The record as a whole is cinematic; ‘Say Goodbye’ and ‘Yellow Buffalo’ would be right at home in a modern Western, thrumming with harmonica and rattling, Americana-inspired percussion. The jazzy ‘Symphony Bacalao’ is positively vaudevillian, and Paddy shows off his unexpected sense of humour here, declaring, “Oh, what a shit show!” Rollicking single ‘Yoko Ono’ is accompanied by an appropriately colourful and bizarre music video featuring a surreal talent show and Paddy himself, of course. Directed and edited by Alex Lynch (who’s previously worked on videos for SOAK, Irish Women in Harmony, and more) and Liam Farrell, the video proves just as playful as the song itself. Paddy says: "I feel the directors and crew captured the fear, anxiety and joyful absurdity of a performer's life. Perhaps the most concerning part is that despite the video's peculiarities, it mirrors reality to an almost uncomfortable degree." “The song started as an improvised rap about Mike love from The Beach Boys, and over time it mutated into a cheerful bop about an identity crisis. There isn’t a day where I don’t feel like an imposter, so why not write a catchy tune about it,” he shares. The much-anticipated follow-up to 2020’s The Hill, this new record has already gained early acclaim with lead single ‘New York Sidewalk’ proving one jangly, jovial chord at a time that it is possible to climb the radio charts with a song that as far from generic as they come. Nialler9 wrote that it “bursts with shimmering piano notes, parps of brass and gorgeous backing” and Stereogum speculating that the “wistful, lush song, all plinking piano and cooing background vocals” may be signalling a new direction for Hanna. With a new, more optimistic Paddy Hanna now in the driving seat, 2022 may well be the year that this idiosyncratic underdog rises up to take his rightful place centre-stage. クレジット2022年10月21日リリース

#2210 #RC #****

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mapleleafstrash · 7 years ago

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The Cat from Apt. 415 (Part Two) - William Nylander

A/N: Here’s part two! Thank you to everyone’s kind messages over the last day! They’ve really made the beginning of 2018 awesome for me! Hope you enjoy!

Requested: Yes/No

Characters: William Nylander (Feat. Alex Nylander)

Words: 2,323

Warnings: Language

[Part One]

The blinding light from the rising sun the next morning was what woke you up. You were surprised you could feel the sun's effects because your curtains usually did an excellent job of shielding your bedroom from external light. Blinking your eyes open, you soon realized why your curtains had seemingly failed you.

Your eyes were wide as you stared at the scene in front of you. Your curtains had been shredded, with the beam holding up the tapestry laying lifeless on your floor. Your two plants, a vase of white daisies and your beloved miniature cactus pot were both cracked, with several of the white flowers shredded. And on top of everything else, Loki had left a little surprise for you to clean up on a far side of your room.

Lovely, just lovely.

Loki however, was curled up on the corner of your mattress, purring away. Gritting your teeth, it took everything in you not to scream. You couldn't get mad at the cat either. It was a cat after all.

Taking a deep breath, you got out of bed and began cleaning up after Loki's late-night activities. You grumbled to yourself as you threw away your ruined curtains and swept up the remnants of your plants. "You know for just a little cat, you sure do cause a big mess," you whined as you finally disposed of Loki's stool.

"Whoever your owner is, he better pay for this stuff," you sighed, once you exited your room with a full garbage bag, with the tawny cat following you closely behind.

Speaking of owners, you wondered if this 'William' person had replied to you. Grabbing your phone, you fell down onto your couch and saw that he had indeed called you back, twice. But he had called you at two in the morning, and you were passed out by then. But luckily he had left a voice mail.

"Hi, uh I have no idea how Loki got out but thanks for finding him. He's kinda trouble. Oh, and uh I'm also sorry for calling so late, but I'm three hours behind you right now for work. You see, the thing is, I'm actually on a business trip, and I'm not going to be back home for three more days."

Your eyes widened. Three days?!

"But my brother, he's actually in the area right now, and I can get him to come take Loki off your hands and put him back into my apartment. I left him enough food and water, so he should be good until I get back. When you get this just text me what apartment you live in and I'll have Alex swing by. Oh, and Alex is my brother, yeah. We'll figure everything out so don't worry. And I'm really sorry about all this, I swear I'll make it up to you when I get back. Thanks, talk to you later,"

*BEEP*

Tossing your phone aside, you hung off the side of your couch in exhaustion. With your head hanging upside down and your long hair sprawled out, Loki ran up to you and pounced onto the ends of your hair. Rather than complain you just sighed. Of course, this had to become some huge ordeal. Of course, you couldn't just put the cat back and of course the guy who owned Loki just happened to be away.

"Ow!" You then screeched, as one of Loki's paws had clawed and pulled at a large strand of your hair, causing you to sit back up right and send Loki an unimpressed look. Loki just meowed at you.

"What am I going to do with you?" You groaned, the cogs in your head spinning with multiple scenarios of how this situation was going to turn out.

Sending William your address, you then patiently waited for his reply. Which an hour later still hadn't come.

"Okay, that's it. I have stuff to do and having a little kitten with me isn't going to stop me!" You proclaimed. "If I can't leave you here alone, then you're coming with me!"

Loki cocked his head towards you in confusion. Oh boy he was in for an adventure. First stop, grocery shopping.

After putting your large winter coat on, you unzipped it half way down to put a large wool scarf around your neck. Using the scarf as a base, you then carefully lifted Loki up and placed him into the small lip of the scarf and zipped your jacket up just enough so that he could still pop his head out if he wanted to and so that you could keep him secure and warm from the weather outside.

Grabbing your beanie and your mittens, you finally opened up and locked your front door before you headed out towards the nearby grocery store. On the ten-minute walk, you made sure to use your arms to cradle Loki close, since it was yet another sub-zero day in the city. You were also partly afraid he'd try to run away, and then you'd surely be screwed.

Could you imagine?

"Yeah, hi Alex. I know I said I found your brother's cat, but I decided to take him grocery shopping with me and he ran off. Sorry."

Rolling your eyes at the thought, you trekked on. Once you were safely inside the warm building, you grabbed a small basket and quickly did your shopping. You only grabbed the necessities because you quickly realized you'd only in reality have one hand to carry your bags back with. Making sure to grab enough food to make your meals with over the next two days, and grabbing some cat food and a few treats for Loki, you then made your way over to the cashiers.

"Aww isn't he a cutie,"

Looking up, you realized that the young girl who was scanning your items was staring at Loki, who had decided to finally poke his head out of your jacket. "He's tiny! How old is he?" She asked.

You chuckled awkwardly, "that's actually a great question. I'm just watching him at the moment for a neighbour," you explained. It wasn't a lie either. You literally had no clue.

"Oh," she replied, before shrugging and carrying on cashing you out.

Taking your two bags in one hand, with the other yet again holding Loki in place, you quickly scurried back to your condo complex. Once you got back, you decided to take the four flights of stairs rather than take a chance with the elevator. You knew if anyone saw Loki you'd both be screwed.

By the time you reached your floor, you were frozen beyond belief, your left hand had gone numb, and you were also now out of breath. Loki however, seemed to be having a great time, as the little kitty had kept his face out of your jacket and had enjoyed his little view of the world.

Once you'd gotten back into the apartment, you dropped your bags and unwound Loki from his cozy cocoon. Letting him down, you then undressed yourself before taking your groceries to your kitchen. The first thing you did was put a pack of the cat food you'd purchased into a small bowl for Loki, who meowed at you gratefully before he bounced over to enjoy some food. By the time you had put everything away and grabbed a quick bite yourself, Loki was once again curled up, fast asleep. He was too cute.

On cue, your phone began to ring, and you rushed over hoping it was someone coming to rescue you, either William or his brother Alex.

"Hello?" you asked, your voice full of enthusiasm.

"Oh awesome, I caught you. Sorry about all the phone tag,"

Thank god it was William.

Taking a large sigh of relief, you chuckled slightly, "no, no it's okay, I'm just glad you were able to get back to me,"

"Yeah same here, and again I'm so sorry about all of this. I honestly still have no idea how Loki got out." William replied, "but I'm just glad you were the one who found him, and not someone else. Who knows what could've happened."

You nodded to yourself, "Yeah I thought the same thing, if one of the ladies from down the hall caught him I think Loki would've gotten a one-way ticket to the pound,"

"Has he been okay with you?" William then asked, "he can be a handful, especially for a cat."

You laughed awkwardly, "well, I'm now afraid to leave him alone in my apartment if that answers your question,"

"Oh no," William groaned. "Whatever he did, don't worry about it. If something's broke or wrecked or whatever, I'll replace it, and that's a promise."

"Well I guess you'll be taking me shopping then," you giggled, while William smiled from his side of the line. Despite only talking to you properly only once, he loved your voice. He had listened to your earlier voicemail a couple more times than necessary, but he'd never admit it.

"Anyways, Alex should've left by now, I can't imagine him being much more than an couple hours away." William said, "He'll take Loki back to my place and then he'll be out of your hair,"

"Sounds good, is he coming from somewhere far? I'd feel bad if this was any trouble for him," you spoke, hoping you weren't causing William's brother an inconvenience.

"Yeah, he lives down past Buffalo, but don't worry about that. I'm the one who's caused you the trouble, plus he owes me a few favours himself so it's fine," William explained.

"Alright, well I'll wait for him then," you replied, "hopefully the drive isn't too bad,"

"He'll be fine, and I'll talk to you when I get back to settle up, okay?" William said, and you smiled, "looking forward to it, talk to you later,"

William smirked to himself, "see you soon Y/N,"

*Click*

Sitting back, you smiled and re-ran the conversation back through your head again. William seemed like such a nice guy. And his accent, you weren't sure what it was exactly, but you were absolutely enamored by it. It was calming, yet cute at the same time. You then began picturing what he could potentially look like. Yes, you were very excited to see that for yourself and you hoped William’s brother could give you an idea, as long as they looked somewhat similar.

"What's William like Loki? I'm sure he's amazing," you giggled, while Loki twitched his ears and stared up at you.

As you went back over the conversation yet again, you then noticed something. Blinking twice, your cheeks suddenly reddened as you realized that you had been casually flirting with Loki's owner over the phone. And on top of that, it sounded like William had been flirting back.

"Wow I need to get out more," you muttered, as you shook your head.

Loki seemed to meow in agreement.

A couple hours later, a loud knocking coming from your door caught your attention. Muting your television, you stood up from your spot on the couch, with Loki jumping off the cushions as well. Approaching the door, you cautiously opened it, making sure to place your foot down along the entrance way so that Loki couldn’t dart out back into the hallway.

Looking up, your lips fell agape slightly as you looked onto your visitor.

"Hi, you must be Y/N, I'm Alex, Will's brother," The tall, blonde man spoke, sending you a genuine smile.

If William looked as half as good as his brother, you knew you were screwed.

"Uh hi," you smiled, "did you want to come in?" you asked, opening the door a bit wider to allow Alex to come in.

The taller man nodded, "sure, thanks," he grinned, as he walked past you, allowing for you to shut your front door closed.

"Now where's that little shit disturber," Alex asked, looking around your front hall. You stopped in your tracks to stifle your laugh. That was one way of describing Loki.

"Meow,"

Looking over, Loki bounded his way up to Alex and immediately rubbed up against his jean clad leg, obviously recognizing his owner's brother. "Hey shit head," Alex grinned, before he bent down to pet Loki softly. "I see you got yourself into trouble again huh?"

"This isn't anything new?" you then asked, causing Alex's blue eyes to trail back to you.

"Nah, well I mean he's never escaped but like he pulls funny shit like this quite a lot," Alex explained, "which is why I told William to get a hamster," he then muttered to himself. You just smiled.

"Well, shall we take you home Loki?" Alex cooed, as he scooped the small feline into his arms. "Did you want to come with?" Alex then asked you. Blinking, you were surprised but gratefully accepted his offer.

"Sure, I'll come say goodbye,"

Walking side by side with Alex, you headed down your floors long hallway, until you once again stood in front of apartment number 415. Handing Loki to you gently, you cuddled the small tawny cat, while Alex fished his keys out from his pocket.

Rubbing his small face up against your cheek and purring away, you smiled at Loki. You were honestly going to miss his company. He was a great couch companion. You noticed Alex smile towards the both of you from the corner of your eye.

As he went through the keys on his lanyard, Alex suddenly began patting down his coat pockets and double checked his jeans as well. Raising an eyebrow, you watched him yet again look through the multiple sets of keys on his chain.

"Everything okay?" you then questioned, as Alex frantically searched around.

"Shit," he groaned, "Will's gonna kill me,"

"What? Why?" you asked, while Alex sighed.

"I forgot his key back home, in Rochester," Alex then finally explained, causing your skin to pale.

Oh great.

#nhl imagines #hockey imagines #william nylander #alex nylander #william nylander imagine #toronto maple leafs imagines #leafs imagines

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transjoyblog · 4 years ago

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How to Support a Trans Coworker

As transgender and genderqueer people become more comfortable expressing themselves in a professional setting, the culture, and habits of any workplace will need to adjust or risk, at best, alienating its employees, and at worst, committing outright harassment. Here are some pertinent statistics on the harassment that genderqueer individuals can have experienced in the workplace:

1. A study, linked below, of aggregated surveys by the Williams Institute on Sexual Orientation Law and Public Policy found that 90% of transgender workers have been harassed on the job

2. The same study found that 47% of workers have experienced an adverse job outcome because they are transgender. This includes: – Forty-four percent who were passed over for a job – Twenty-three percent who were denied a promotion – And 26 percent who were fired because they were transgender

Moving Forward

With these harrowing statistics in mind we can turn to figuring out how to better support our trans coworkers. The foundation of feeling secure in the workplace should be a robust and routinely communicated sexual harassment policy and an anonymous reporting system. Most organizations have some sort of sexual harassment policy in place, yet sexual harassment still happens everyday. The keys to reducing harassment start with the leadership team. People respect people in positions of authority. It isn't enough to just have some outside company come in and show some videos, and discuss some hypothetical situations with your team. As a leader, you are responsible for taking a hard line against sexual harassment, and articulating that every complaint will be thoroughly investigated so as to discourage false reporting, (which is so rare it hardly needs discouraging). This communication doesn't need to be a long drawn out meeting, either. In fact, you would be better served keeping things as clear and concise as possible, so as to leave no room for misinterpretation. If it does nothing else, this small effort on the part of those in leadership positions, will communicate to anyone who may become a victim of harassment that they should come forward. Ultimately, anything that promotes a culture of acceptance is worth the effort.

How to Help

Building an accepting workplace culture takes more than an email. Leaders have to demonstrate this acceptance in their day to day actions and conversations.

1. If someone has a nickname, any nickname, ask them if they are ok with it, preferably in private.

2. Be sure to always address people by their chosen names, and preferred pronouns.

3. Be careful of what jokes you repeat. Workplace culture has changed so rapidly that some older employees are not aware of what is appropriate. i.e. Buffalo Bill jokes, Ace Ventura jokes, ladyboy jokes

4. Avoid tokenism - if you are putting together a diversity panel, or are looking to ask questions about "the trans experience", "how you can help" or "how you can improve company culture in regards to transgender issues", your one trans employee is NOT the first place to find this information. This is a form of emotional labor that many marginalized communities are forced into performing. LGBT+ people and people of color are not your source for all things relevant to their identity. They are not representative of their entire community. All it takes to shift this idea of the token "insert identity here", is for white/cis/hetero people around us to do the work of educating themselves up front. Read books and articles written by trans people and people of color. Listen to our podcasts, follow our Instagram pages, support our causes. Get in the trenches with us, so you can be an accomplice, not just an ally.

Lastly, keep in mind the reality that your employees may be facing. This country is not a terribly accepting place. We have not made as much progress as some would have you believe. People face harassment and micro-aggressions everyday. In fact, before the landmark Supreme Court case Bostock v. Clayton County, it was completely legal to deny a promotion, refuse to hire, or terminate an employee for being transgender. Bostock v. Clayton County, which was only decided on in June of 2020, finally extended the Title VII protections against discrimination on the basis of sex to genderqueer individuals. Meaning that terminations like the one that Vandy Beth Glenn faced will finally be illegal. Let Vandy, who held a job with the Georgia General Assembly, tell you in her own words what transgender people face when people become uncomfortable with their transition.

“[My boss] told me I would make other people uncomfortable, just by being myself. He told me that my transition was unacceptable. And over and over, he told me it was inappropriate. Then he fired me. I was escorted back to my desk, told to clean it out, then marched out of the building…I was devastated.”

Wrapping it up

To sum up, if you have read this far you are better informed than most people out there. Use the suggestions here to shape your company culture going forward, even if you aren't in a position of leadership you can still have a positive impact. Intervene when someone makes an inappropriate joke, or comment. Use people's chosen names, and pronouns, and insist that others do as well. Stay informed on the issues facing the transgender community. Be kind to people. There is almost no downside to consideration and kindness in the workplace.

Citations

https://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/publications/employ-discrim-effect-lgbt-people/

#trans #work #transgender #support #workplace #money

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princess-of-the-corner · 7 years ago

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I heard about new mlp episodes and I have several questions.

First off, did we really just get a bunch of new characters dumped in? We just ended the last series with dumping in several new characters. Not to mention they made the Movie Canon(but not EQG for some reason!), which also has a ton of new characters. Okay, I guess the celebrity voice cast isn’t a maintainable option, but they could do something. I know Hasbro has to get it’s toy sales, but come on guys. I think you have plenty you can work with, in both toys and characters to make stories for.

Continuing on, is this new set going to be new main characters? You can’t just introduce a new, large group like this and have them tag along on every episode. Either it’ll go back to the original cast and everyone goes ‘uh, what about the new guys?’, or you focus on the new ones and let the old ones fade back into the secondary cast. Which, I mean, at that point why not do some kind of full reboot or even just a timeskip?

I also have several problems with the story in general. It’s been a problem for a while now, but this episode made it pretty blatant of “all the non-ponies don’t know about Friendship! None of them have friends, so they’re all jackasses!”. Which is, to be blatant, pretty fucking impossible. They don’t have friends? Not even just ‘oh, our inter-species relationships are bad’, but legit they don’t have friends even within their home country?

How- How do they function as a society? You can’t love without some kind of friendship, you can’t have a healthy family without some form of friendship. What I’m saying is that, as presented, the population of these countries should be the most fucked up assholes possible, if they hadn’t already killed eachother off!

I don’t even get what they’re trying to do there? You can introduce characters, and even have them be going through a Friendship Problem, without saying ‘they know nothing about friendship at all’. You even could’ve had this episode without that plot point! I mean, if Ponies, who ‘already know about friendship, unlike everyone else’, can still go to Friendship School, why not other creatures know Friendship but strive to learn more about it?

That said, if you’re going to dump characters on us, can we have a Crystal Pony character? You have an entire Empire of them, yet they’re only backup background Ponies. Do any of them have names we heard on-screen and not from looking in the credits/merchandising? Also more Zebras! We still haven’t seen any other than Zecora! Or Diamond Dogs! Or Buffalo! Or the Cats and Parrots from the movie! Or Minotaurs! Or other Sirens! Holy fuck I just realized how many sapient races they shoved in this show. My point still stands though. Y’all should’ve developed any of these before you tossed in Yaks.

Side note, ‘Everycreature’? Look, ‘Everypony’ was already pointless since everyone/everybody works just fine. Why not just switch to those words?

However, I feel like the biggest problem is the original cast in this episode.

The other five usually would’ve been more assertive when they saw how downhill it was going. And, like, when Twilight was all depressed, they were converted to their most basic of character traits to try and cheer her up, even though they all know better! Rainbow: “get the fuck up!”, AJ: “Eating apples makes me feel better!”, Fluttershy: “Here, hug a bunny!”, Rarity: “I bet a pretty dress would cheer you up!”, Pinkie: “Party Time!”. Again, these characters know better by now, and have been legitimately helpful and comforting, and also call each other out on things!

Instead, we get Starlight doing the ‘tell you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear’ bit. Which, okay, I like Starlight well enough. I kind of want to rewrite her first villain episodes(I have a long rant on how the first ones went far to make her a villain, but had her turn around in a mater of seconds), but she’s been doing good and progressing well enough. Even so, Starlight is not the one who should’ve done this for several reasons. Partly because the rest of the cast should’ve done that.

And then we have Celestia. Like... okay. Celestia’s ‘uselessness’ in major situations before were explainable. It used to be that she was disconnected from the Elements of Harmony, so she couldn’t use them to save the day. Then it was the dangers either overpowering her or getting the jump on her(Sometimes both.). The second excuse was weak, but hey, if you want Twilight and crew to beat the villain, you need to have them take out the sort-of-goddess so she doesn’t go in guns, er, horn blazing.

But this episode could’ve showed Celestia off as a Leader, as Princess! When everything goes sideways and all the other leaders are bickering all to hell, she could’ve been the one to smack some sense into them! That is literally part of her job description! Diplomacy! Just have her go “Okay guys, I know you’re pissed. How about we put aside the fight to find the missing students? Then you can talk it out with them.”. But no, she just sits back and tells Twilight to do it. Fucking hell! Who thought old ass memes of characterization would come true!

Also, back to new characters, I have concerns over that villain pony. I forgot his name, but I’m calling him “Dr. Dracula Strange”. My concern isn’t over his potential villainy in the future. Oh no. However, remember that thing I said about Starlight’s time as a villain? How they spent their time making her the worst, most irredeemable pony and then shoved a ‘tragic backstory’ in and had her change her mind in three seconds? I’m scared that they’re going to pull that with this racist fuck. Partly because of story, but also partly because the racism angle hits a bit closer to reality compared to “Unicorn accidentally starts a cult, and then causes timeline fuckery”, so I say let’s just toss the guy in a cell with Tirek and not go the redemption arc route with this one. And that’s coming from me, who loves redemption arcs! You need to give a character redeemable traits if you want them to become a good guy.

Another thing! It’s not really a complaint but, seriously? “Not even a princess can do whatever she likes when it comes to shaping young pony minds.”. Er, I hate to break it to y’all, but that’s kind of the definition of what she can do! Celestia is the Immortal leader of the country and the one making the laws. If she wanted to, she could make laws on anything. Of course, you do need to draw the line before going full tyrant, but still. Tia’s got a bit more power in this situation.

TBH, I’m very glad that I already decided that my universe/fanart/fanfics are officially Canon Divergent as of a while ago.

#rant tag

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ideako-official · 4 years ago

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The Next Big Thing in Business

The business world has been changing drastically in the course of recent years. Innovation shifts have fundamentally altered the manner in which we direct business. The one thing innovation won’t change is the cycles that happen inside the business world or society in general. Actually innovation has been affecting business and society since the improvement of fire or the wheel. It has had an influence in for all intents and purposes each kind of cycle that impacts the business world.

Regularly when we consider cycles we quickly consider budgetary cycles however there are various kinds of cycles affecting business. Since the primary mechanical upset, we have had numerous humankind cycles in business. Here are a couple of key authentic crossroads in US business history that prompted profound changes in the human parts of business (great and awful):

The Pullman Strikes in 1894: Alongside comparable strikes, this engaged trade guilds that had quality going on until the 1980's.

The Triangle Shirtwaist Factory Fire in 1911: Requests for accommodating working conditions just as movements in who is qualified to work.

Stockmarket Crash in 1929: The need to control covetousness and shield US residents from deceitful parts of business.

World War II: Made another association among business and representatives that prompted longer term work and quiet work relations for near 20 years.

JFK Assassination: The quiet separation in numerous parts of society separated. Angles from this separation can even now be felt today as the possibility of long lasting business finished until the end of time.

The Gas Crisis: The Gas Crisis was not by any means the only thing at that point, yet this occasion, alongside changes in guideline and helpless administration of associations, started the quick ruin of associations that would proceed for the following 10 years. The outcome was the production of an age that neglected to comprehend the advantages that associations have had ever.

The Crash of 1987: In spite of the fact that the accident was fleeting and didn’t, all alone, drive change, it was where avarice and “no nonsense” in business got ordinary. This prompted a significant number of the difficulties we have been finding lately.

Likewise with most cycles, we tend to not hang out in the middle however rather the pendulum streams to the boundaries. In the course of recent years, profitability has sore because of new innovation. We have looked as certain positions stop to exist while different positions have appeared in colossal amounts. Advanced mechanics has everlastingly changed assembling. The web and computerized reasoning have significantly changed jobs, for example, Customer administration or the budgetary parts of news-casting. Web-based media has changed how we get content and the sort of substance that is beneficial. Models for most businesses have changed somewhat. As a rule, businesses are abandoned.

We have now entered a limit that makes a move inescapable. In my last post I began making way for this post by investigating a portion of my own excursion in these considerations just as where we have to go as a general public. I expounded on a portion of the wrecked idea of innovation and human association. We are permitting information to drive our business regardless of whether the information is defective. We need to begin taking a gander at everything in another manner. This is valid for business just as every one of us actually. For instance, it is anything but difficult to point fingers at those with political contrasts as a reason for issues in the public eye; yet perhaps, quite possibly, these are side effects of bigger issues. Regular political reactions, for example, the appointment of a President, are not about the legislator, however a mission for answers or from various perspectives clutching what we know and comprehend. As a rule, numerous individuals are outright terrified. They are terrified that they won’t have work, or not have the money related assets to think about the ones they love.

9 Innovations That Could Become the Next “Big Thing”

1. Artificial Intelligence (AI): Man-made consciousness that can learn and work autonomous of human overlords seems like sci-fi. However, this may turn into our new reality inside the following 3–5 years. Robots will have the option to learn aptitudes, perform assignments, and transfer data into the cloud to help other AI frameworks adapt rapidly. Various sorts of AI won’t need to be modified independently any longer. They will get thoughts, imitate systems, and create forward leaps quicker than people actually could. Best of all, “future” is now here. Scientists simply created progressive AI that can repeat the 2001 Nobel Prize winning quantum material science test inside 60 minutes.

2. Autonomous driving: What amount of time do you go through driving each week? In the event that Google, Apple or Tesla get their direction, you may before long invest that energy resting, perusing or shopping. Self-driving vehicles as of now exist and everybody is hustling to overwhelm the market. General Motors simply procured Cruise Automation for over $1 billion and ride-hailing administrations like Uber and Lyft are contributing enormously. Indeed, even carport programmers like George Hotz are putting their own turn on the business. Anticipate enormous things.

3. Reusable rockets: Previously, space investigation has been incredibly costly and wasteful. A solitary dispatch costs between $100 to $300 million however the rocket flies just a single time before combusting during a free fall back through Earth’s environment. Organizations like SpaceX, Blue Origin and United Launch Alliance are changing the game by growing absolutely moved rockets that can land securely. 3D printing of rocket parts and liquified flammable gas choices to rocket fuel will lessen costs also. Before sufficiently long, rockets will be reusable and space travel will turn out to be substantially more reasonable.

4. Virtual Reality and Augmented Reality: Computer generated reality (VR) and increased reality (AR) are not new ideas but rather will alter the world inside 5 years. AR upgrades reality while VR causes us to overlook it. Together, they open a world past the real world, the web or the web of things; another industry, the web of encounters, is developing. With the latest interest in MagicLeap, the VR/AR industry is set to reach $150 Billion by 2020. As VR and AR advances improve and more substance opens up for clients, human experience of innovation will change for eternity.

5. Rapid adaptation of renewable energy: In the following year, the Solarcity Gigafactory in Buffalo, New York will create up to 10,000 sun based boards for each day. It will upset the elective vitality industry and make sunlight based vitality substantially more reasonable. The sustainable power source will pull in organizations and governments over the globe as they endeavor to determine the worldwide vitality emergency. China has just proposed a $50 trillion worldwide vitality lattice by 2050, for example. The advancement, for this situation, is a framework that rapidly and productively delivers sustainable power source innovations at a worldwide scale.

6. Large scale desalination: Desalination is certainly not another idea yet has been hard to adjust because of significant expenses. Sorek, an Israeli organization, has assembled the world’s biggest desalination plant fit for delivering 627,000 cubic meters of water every day. Inside a year, half of Israel’s water is relied upon to originate from desalination. Sorek has demonstrated that desalination is conceivable at an enormous scope. This advancement could help settle California’s dry season and maybe even the worldwide water emergency.

7. Ridiculously fast internet: The times of dial-up modems are a distant memory and the web is a major aspect of our day by day lives. Development is continuous, in any case, and Google’s Loon Balloon is only one model.

Google Fiber gives web speed of up to 1 gigabit for every second (multiple times quicker than customary Wi-Fi) and is now spreading over the U.S. Li-Fi utilizes noticeable light correspondence to communicate information at speeds up to 224 gigabits for every second (in excess of multiple times quicker than Google Fiber) and is a demonstrated idea. Indeed, even Wi-Fi is getting detached, utilizing multiple times less force. Before long, web association issues will be a relic of days gone by and the “Web of Things” will interface family gadgets, wearable sensors and different innovations around the world.

8. Online DNA analysis: “There’s an application for that” will be supplanted by “There’s a clarification in your DNA for that”. Inside the following year or something like that, Helix, Illumina and Veritas Genetics will empower us to dissect our hereditary qualities on the web, comprehend our inclination to getting certain ailments, and even clarify why a few of us desire desserts more than others. This is all an aspect of a push to democratize genomic information and give people experiences about their wellbeing. Purchaser Genetics will be a progressive business model that permits individuals to pay modest quantities of cash to become familiar with themselves.

9. Immune system engineering: We are nearer to finding the remedy for malignant growth and leaving chemotherapy in the past where it has a place. This isn’t an exaggeration since organizations like Cellectis, Juno Therapeutics and Novartis are now sparing carrying on through hereditary altering and immunotherapy. Inside the following 1–2 years illnesses like malignant growth, various sclerosis and HIV could be treated by designing the safe framework. Hereditarily built resistant cells, similar to Killer T cells intended to clear out disease, will spare innumerable lives.

It is very important for a good quality businessman to have two things

Email Signature

Business Card

#business #entrepreneur #success #socialmedia #entrepreneurlife #leadership #technology #businessman

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