#over the last few weeks ive gotten to know the artists in the post itself too

[things-i-send-to-my-darling-bf]

Hello, followers.

In front of you is a masterpost made by my husband, it was weeks of work and organising alongside a huge effort and determination to assist Argentinian artists.

You have one button to press, if you choose to press it you can stay but if you refrain i will slowly start filling the room with gas blocking you all.

You understand that i do not need to let you stay here as this was never a space for you.

I am so proud of him and the efforts he has put in and it takes only a moment for you to spread that, this is not only for him but an entire group of artists and creatives who deserve recognition and visibility. I know you see the post, i get notes as you scroll through liking posts meant to be shared with my husband.

You have 48 hours or until i get annoyed enough.

[humanransome-note]

what’s this??? another fic??? in under 24 hours??? huh???

so the last 2 fics ive posted were pretty angsty so here’s smth dumber and lighter

other OCs mentioned

Lorelai- @go-commander-kim

Gunk- @obsessive-ego

Bambi- @neitherworld

ivan- @jeuchrit

Madame Bouriseau- @hoodoo12

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Someone’s been vandalizing Dante’s.

That’s not really unusual, tags and graffiti are pretty common and usually nothing to worry about unless they take up the front face of the building.

There was one few week stretch where some very radical religious folk came round with spray cans and paint buckets, trying to turn the walls into a roadside self serve sermon.

When they were caught they tried to preach, which was fine, it’s what they do. It’s when they started targeting Lorelai that things got vicious.

Niphera doesn’t know much about heaven, and frankly they don’t really want to. They think the former angel’s got pretty good taste, so if she wanted out, Niphera believes the place must of really been shit.

It was cathartic going full poltergeist on those asshats, but they did let themselves go a little to much. By the time things were over, Niphera had half swallowed a finger and there was some thin bits of minimalist jewelry between their teeth.

It took until almost opening to get it all out, and even after they did, they still tasted metal throughout the night.

But this new stuff isn’t that.

It’s, something, and really there’s no better word for it. It makes Jackson Pollock look controlled and precise. And they hate Jackson Pollock.

It usually takes up most of the outer walls and while Dante’s can do some fantastical time lord/smart house shit. It can’t clean itself.

So usually Ivan and Niphera, along with a few rotating others have to go out with pressure washers and clean up the sides.

Niphera is coming back from a smoke n’ snack run when they notice it.

They all thought it was a group of people turning Dante’s walls into an over sized abstract impressionist piece.

It’s not.

It’s a kid.

If one brat can do all this damage they don’t understand why people want them.

The squirt seems invested in their mayhem, not noticing the bartender coming up from behind.

They’ve only got one shot at this, so sprouting a few extra limbs they wait.

After a few more seemingly random splashes the kid takes a step back to look at their work.

That’s when Niphera strikes.

A hand goes for the scruff of their shirt while another gets around their waist.

The little lady starts swearing up a storm.

“Let go of me you bastard! Do you know who the fuck I am!? I’m the greatest artist this shit hole’s ever seen-!!?”

Niphera takes their wallet and shoves it in the kid’s mouth. It works, sue ‘em.

“D’ya kiss your mother with that mouth” They readjust their grip, kid’s slippery, “I’m guessing you were kickin’ after putting soap in kids mouths was deemed a no go.”

It takes some, admittedly, awkward waddling to get to the front door but they make it. The short stack still insists on trying to shout and wiggle about.

As they open the front door they announce to the building.

“Y’all might not believe it but I found the Picasso wannabe!” After they get in they kick the door closed, and once in place the latch clicks shut.

Good, now the brat can’t get out.

They stop gripping the kid like a football but keep a hold on the shirt, shorty seems to trail paint wherever they go.

The kid spits out their wallet.

“Picasso wannabe?” Oh no, kid sounds ready for a tantrum.

“Picasso wishes he was me! The son of a bitch wishes he had even a fraction of my genius, my talent! He would weep at the chance to be 1% as good as I am!”

Niphera tries hard not too, but they laugh anyway.

“What’s so funny!? You don’t believe me!?” Oh no, they’re stepping on some tiny toes.

“No, no, that ain’t it.” They’re still laughing. “Ya got spunk is all.”

“Gunk.”

“I’m assuming that’s what you’re made of yeah.” Now that Niphera has gotten over the high of finding the person who was using Dante’s as a free for all canvas, they really get a look at them.

Kid can’t be taller than 5” and that’s on their toes. And the hulk hands do nothing to help. They’ve got a shirt and vest on, but it seems less for style and more for prep school.

Christ how young is this kid?

The solid and measured steps of Madame are coming towards the front, and with her a flurry of other steps.

Madame finally comes into view, and behind her a few others. “You said you found our vandal?” She looks around the room, “Where are they?”

Niphera doesn’t say anything, just lifts the kid to eye level.

Madame blinks a few times.

She’s probably trying to get her priories straight. Cause a group of bored newly deads would have been fine, a few people who realized getting into the reincarnation line takes time, and that they’ve got a while to pursue undiscovered passions, okay, sure, they could have worked it out.

But a kid?

The Inferno’s relationship with bureaucracy was delicate to say the least, throw a deceased minor into the mix and it’ll turn into hell in a hand basket.

Although Bambi doesn’t seem to care.

She runs past Madame and gets right in the ankle biters face.

“Aww, aren’t you just the cutest lil’ thing!”

She pinches the kid’s cheeks.

“How old are ya honey?”

Kid looks pissed.

“I’m 25! How old did you think I was!?”

Oh, they weren’t expecting that.

“Really?” Niphera turns them around, and looks them dead in the eye.

Short stack looks ready to spit.

They shrug with an, “Okay” and turn the not-kid around to face Madame.

Most of the worry seems to have left Madame’s face, but she still seems cautious.

“Now...” Madame trails, no one got half-pint’s name.

“Call me Gunk.”

Not what Niphera would have picked, but it suits her.

Madame starts up again, “Now Gunk, what do you think you were doing to our,” Madame thinks over her words, “humble, establishment?”

It takes more effort than Niphera would like to admit not bust out laughing.

“It was too monochromatic. Nothing popped. If you got someone to look at this place and squint they’d see an over sized brick. If anything I was doing you a favor!”

Niphera can’t disagree with the monochrome statement, they’re so used to seeing things tinged with red that everything else looks wrong after a full night of work.

“Well, did you ever consider that was intentional?” Madame is smirking, whatever happens next is going to be something.

“I did!” Not the answer Niphera was expecting. “But I also considered that you were wrong.”

Oooooooh.

If she were giving this attitude to anyone else Niphera would really like the self-proclaimed “genius”. But talking to Madame like that is a different.

Madame seems to recognize their defensive anger and raises a hand. She looks ready to laugh.

This is gonna be good.

“Well next time you should just suggest changes as opposed to making your own.”

“Why should I?”

Madame’s smile starts revealing teeth.

“Because next time you might not be so lucky.”

Gunk seems to finally start realizing the shit she’s in.

“I won’t call the police, too much effort with too little pay off.” Gunk relaxes a bit.

“But,” She tenses up again “recompense must be paid.”

Gunk swallows.

“What’d you have in mind?”

“To stay on top of the market one must adapt,” Madame points down, Niphera places Gunk on the floor, “I’ve been considering larger, more elaborate set pieces for my girls shows, maybe even set up a sort of theme night.”

Niphera thinks they see where this is going.

“And since you’re such an ambitious artist, I figured I’d give you the opportunity.”

Madame looks at Gunk with a soft motherly smile, the short stack is done for.

Gunk looks like she’s just been told the MOMA is turning it’s entire building into an exhibit to her. She quickly hides the look, and tries to play hard to get.

“I’ll have to think about-“

Madame cuts her off, “This is a one time offer, right here right now.”

Gunk blurts out “Deal!”

Madame puts out a hand, and after some polymorphic nonsense Gunk shakes it.

“Welcome to Dante’s Inferno.”

i write alot about these guys i feel like im overdoing it but no one is stopping me and im having too much fun so mlem :P