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surveys-at-your-service · 5 years ago

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Survey #239

i just want to sincerely apologize if my surveys take a negative nosedive again. i know this one’s kinda grim and i don’t want to make that a routine, but things are just rough right now and i’m not gonna lie on a survey, y’know.

Do you know anyone who works at McDonald’s? Not that I'm aware of. Do you know anyone who plays heaps of sports? Probably through school. Have you ever been suspended from school? No. Where do your cousins live? Aaaaaaall over the U.S. Have you met any of your second cousins? Possibly at some point? Do you like the All-American Rejects? I like "Move Along" and "It Ends Tonight" is good, but that's all off the top of my head. Oh wait, of course there's "Gives You Hell." When was the last time you wore a skirt? WOW I have ZERO clue. Probably not since elementary years. Have you ever finished a whole video game? Plenty. If so, which one(s)? There are way too many. Do you know anyone with a pet snake? Me, Sara, probably others. Which one of your friends has great music taste? Sara. Was the last person you hung out with single? That would be my young niece and nephew... so yeah. Have you ever attended a private school? I'm a private college now. Have you ever been in an abusive relationship? No, thank Christ. Have you ever cooked for anyone other than yourself? I made breakfast for Sara once. If your phone has a hole for phone charms, is it on the left or right side? I don't have one. Would you rather live in the city, the suburbs, or the rural area? Kinda like... suburban mixed with rural. I don't wanna be totally isolated, particularly away from necessary stores and such, but I also do NOT wanna be swarmed by people. Maybe like a loose neighborhood in the woods outside a small town? Do you know someone who is really ambidextrous? Sara. Did you use a pencil today? No. Are you adopted? Nope. Have you ever had your car break down on you? Never when I've driven, not that that's been much. With Mom, yes. Dad, idr. Jason's prom night, yeah; his truck broke down otw home at a stop light. Oof. Who was the last person that cried in your presence? My mom. It's the worst. When was the last time you ate at your favorite restaurant? Oh wow, probably not since my last birthday. What was the last thing someone gave you? A close family friend/my former teacher lent me a $20 just in case I needed anything while my mom was up in NY. Can you write your name in a foreign language? My first name (at least) is the same in German; even though "y" doesn't exist in the language, I guess it does for foreign names?? Idk about my last name. Who is the person you often go to for venting? Sara. Do you keep an actual journal or diary? No, not anymore. I did briefly when I had that WILD and totally random Jason obsession episode, but once I came off that godawful medicine and I went back to normal, I deleted it. Have you ever been prescribed Vicodin? That sounds very familiar... Maybe? Perhaps that's what was prescribed after my surgery? Have you ever cheated on someone without them finding out about it? Well considering I've never cheated and never would, I can't answer this. Was the last person you kissed male or female? Female. Who were you with the last time you went swimming? Colleen, at the beach. Does your dining table currently have place mats on it? No; we don't even eat at it. What was the last thing you cooked in an oven? I myself have literally never used an oven. I'm scared to. Oh wait, yeah I have... on some occasions where Mom needed me to put something in there or take something out, but idr what. But boy and I can tell you without memory that I was jumpy as hell about it. Is it hard for you to be “just friends” with the opposite sex? No. It's difficult for me to like-like people, especially men when you consider I'm generally afraid of them, on top of I'm just paranoid and don't trust easily. Do you prefer wheat or white bread? Wheat. Do you have an electric toothbrush? No, but coincidentally, I actually have that on my Christmas wishlist. Have you ever had an “exotic” or “abnormal” pet? Do you consider a Chinese water dragon "exotic?" Then I have a ball python morph. Have you ever eaten lobster? No, and considering crab is nauseating, I doubt lobster would be too different. What is your grade point average (if you’re still in school)? I don't know right now and don't know where to find it. Have you ever played croquet? Oh yeah. My sisters and I LOVED that shit as kids. Who was the last person you called? Dad. Have you ever watched Ghostbusters? No, believe it or not. When was the last time you drew a picture? Yikes... been a while. Not since I started a concept drawing of encompassing a panic attack in a meerkat form, as I tend to do. I haven't touched it in months. It's right on the second shelf of the table beside me, so... my only remaining excuse as to not finish it is that the paper is horribly wrinkled now. Are you happy? Not exactly. Should you be doing something now? I could be doing the practice exam work my math professor gave us all considering it's extra credit, but. Yeah. I'm absolutely awful at math and barely passing but I don't exactly need another stressor right now. Is there a smoke detector on every floor of your house? We only have one floor. What was the last kind of soup you ate? I tried vegetable soup anyway when I got my tongue pierced because I literally could not eat solids for over a week, but I'm a picky asshole who didn't like it so wasted the can. I had to survive almost exclusively on meal replacement shakes and popsicles. Warning from the wise: you want your tongue pierced? You better fucking want it bad because healing is a P R O C E S S. Or at least mine was, having to get it re-done and all... Have you ever had to do a class in summer school? No. Have you ever went a year without getting your hair cut? I don't think a year... but maybe? Do you think you could go a week without sugar? Considering sugar is in like... EVERYTHING, probably no? Would you be willing to go one day each week without meat? I don't really pay attention, but I probably already do. I'd like to eat as little meat as possible. Hell, I wish I could go full-on vegan. Do you feel comfortable telling people how much you weigh? NO. Do you have any talents that your friends don’t know about? No. Are you any good at sewing? Never tried, not interested. Has anyone ever interviewed you about one of your hobbies/talents? No. Would you ever consider experimenting with drugs? Marijuana for medical purposes if I didn't have to smoke it. I'm not smoking anything, I don't care what it is. What’s been tugging on your heart lately? I guess life in general. Mortality, death. Teddy died in my arms, I saw my grandmother physically ravaged by cancer, and just life hasn't been the kindest lately. I've been thinking about how time just flies, how every moment should be cherished even though it's so fucking hard, and just yeah. I don't wanna go down this rabbit hole. Are you comfortable with who you are? Have you accepted who you are? I don't know dude I shouldn't be taking a survey during like an existential crisis lol. What is the last thing you did that made you feel guilty? Decided to get some really unhealthy fries with my dinner. Would you have sex with the last person you texted? It's not a matter of "would," I want to. I may have already, I don't really know what separates foreplay from lesbian sex. Do you consider weed, marijuana, pot, etc. a drug? This isn't even an argument anymore, it's fact. It's a mind-altering substance. "Drug" does not always equate to bad, either. Are you planning on kissing anyone tomorrow evening? It'd be nice. Do you require a lot of private time? Oh yeah, but way less than I used to. I get depressed if I'm alone for too long now. Have you ever done something humiliating while drunk? N/A What is your favorite classic Disney movie? The Lion King. Do you like looking at old photographs? Yeah, usually. Do you enjoy puzzles? Yeah. Do you prefer painting or drawing? Drawing by a long shot. I'm taking a painting course this upcoming semester though, so hopefully that'll up my skill and thus enjoyment of it. Do you ever wear high heels? No, I don't have a reason to. Do you use belts? No, considering I never wear anything with belt loops. When was the last time you played Uno? Oh my fucking god, it's been forever, thankfully. When I lived with Colleen, as did her younger sister, we played Uno a lot, and then, AND THEN, came the night Chelsea dyed my hair red. Mind you, the ONLY TIME dyeing my hair had been truly successful and long-lasting. The process took hours, and we played Uno round after Uno round... and now I literally hate it. What do you like better, kiwis or pineapple? Oh man, I love both, but I gotta say kiwi. Are you trying to grow out your hair? No, I actually need to cute it again. What is your favorite perfume/body spray/cologne? Don't have one, really. Have you ever wanted to try karate? Not seriously. How often do you drink water? Ah yikes... I really fell out of my regular habit of drinking multiple bottles daily. Do you ever wear headbands? No. How many video games do you own? A lot. There's like a huge CD case in a living room drawer full of them. I've been considering making an EBay or something to sell a shitload of them as I'm sure a lot are actually pretty valuable now, but I think a lot about how I want to pass them down to my current and possibly future nieces and nephews when they get to a certain age to figure video games out or even have a console that can play PS1-PS3. Have you ever been to a casino? If so, which one(s)? No. What’s your favorite suburb in the city you live in? Why would you... name that on the Internet...? Besides that even, I pay no attention to suburbs' names I happen to pass. Have you ever visited a sex shop? No. I don't know if I could ever muster up the courage to even go in one. I'm the type that would just order online. What’s your favorite place to get pizza? I'm a basic Domino's bitch. How many times have you been to the beach? Multiple, but not a LOT. I have little reason to ever go, and it's never my idea, that's for sure. Has there ever been a fire inside your house? Tell me the story. Childhood home. Trying the Jiffy Pop popcorn that you make over the stove. Next thing y'know the thing is seriously on fire and we had to use the fire extinguisher. Fuck you, Jiffy Pop, the harbinger of the next fucking idiots moving in setting the entire house on fire thanks to the stove too. Have you ever had a scary encounter with a wild animal? No, besides like bees 'n the like being near me. Have you ever had a spray tan? No. Do you own any sports bras? Where’d you get them from? No, but I'd like at least one. Wouldn't know what to use it for, it's not like I go jogging or anything, but. I think it'd be good to have at least one. Have you ever had sex in a kitchen? No. What’s the most expensive restaurant you’ve ever eaten at? I have zero clu- no wait I'm gonna guess the Italian restaurant we went to on Sara's birthday, but that's just a guess judging by how it was fancy as fuck. Who crosses your mind the most? Sara. Have you ever been on a scavenger hunt? Probably as a kid. Ever been to an auction? No. would you ever get acupuncture? omg no Ever got stitches? At least twice. What is a must have on your french fries? At least some salt. Entirely saltless fries are boring. How do you like your meat cooked…medium rare? well done? Nothing less than medium well. If meat tastes even a little bit beneath lukewarm I can't take that shit. Are there two colors that you just simply despise? Bright yellow and puke-green. What do you usually do with recurring dreams? ... Nothing? What CAN you do? Have you ever been told you were hot by a complete stranger? I don't think someone has used the term "hot," but I know I've been called pretty, at least. Do you want to be single or with someone? I want to be with Sara. It kinda feels like we still are, like no feelings have changed, we're just not "official" anymore and not "bound" to one another. Have you ever had a sleepover with the opposite sex? I actually have twice (or thrice?) platonically with my younger neighbor FOREVER ago. We were still kids. Then there was a big (birthday?) party at my place where Juan stayed the night, and then I believe there was an occasion Girt totally knocked out on the couch so... I guess it turned into a "sleepover?" lmao Who are you closest to in your family? My mom. Who were the last 3 people to text you? Sara, Mom, and my sister. Have you ever dated someone in jail? No, and I wouldn't unless it was for something incredibly stupid or I'm aware was a false charge. What’s a movie you cannot BARE to ever watch again? Nothing's coming off the top of my head. Who got you hooked on the addiction you're addicted to (If you have one)? ... I just connected it all in my head. Jason got me into the Amnesia game. I got into custom stories for it. I was playing one one day. I got stuck. I YouTubed it for help. Guess. Who. I. Fuckin'. Found. This is a revelation; I have discovered the main purpose of my and Jason's relationship. Perhaps things do happen for a reason lmao. Are you a little bit cautious around horses? Do they scare you a bit? Not really, but I wouldn't say I'm in no way cautious. They definitely don't scare me, though. I just respect that they're very powerful animals and I'm not experienced with handling them. Have you ever burnt your tongue like REALLY bad? If so, what on? Yes, on rice that was literally right off the fucking stove lmao. LOOK I didn't know it had JUST come off and I was hungry as fuck but boy did I have REGRETS considering the burn lasted for well over a week, maybe two. Do you think having a sleepover with a guy is theoretically acceptable? Um, yes...????? Do you like to have cake on your birthday? Which kind of cake in mind? Yeah, and red velvet or chocolate frosted, depending on what I'm feeling.

#survey #quiz #questions #bored #random

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killerqueenjoy · 6 years ago

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99 Question Tag

okay okay I know i got tagged to do this like a month ago on my main blog by @santonicababy iM SORRY LIN ILY BUT THIS WAS SO DAMN LONG

1) DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR CLOSET DOORS OPEN OR CLOSED

I sleep in the room where everybodies closets are and they all gotta be closed goddamn do you know how spooky it is to even have one open during the night

2) DO YOU TAKE THE SHAMPOOS AND CONDITIONER BOTTLES FROM HOTELS

my parents do, but alas I don't use them in case they have silicones or sulphates in them because I got a whole lotta curls to protect

3)DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR SHEETS TUCKED IN OR OUT?

if this refers to the sheet protecting the mattress, then my answer is in because how the fuck would you be able to sleep with that moving around???

4) HAVE YOU STOLEN A STREET SIGN BEFORE

NO SORRY IM BORING

5)DO YOU LIKE TO USE POST IT NOTES

heck yeah, but for random shit

6) DO YOU EVER CUT OUT COUPONS BUT THEN NEVER USE THEM

nee my parents are fancy fuckers who use the coupons on their phone (our local supermarket has a damn app skskksksk)

7) WOULD YOU RATHER BE ATTACKED BY A BIG BEAR OR A SWARM OF BEES

a bear because its one giant son of a bitch and not millions of tiny motherfuckers and also I've never been stung by a bee and intend to keep it that way because majority of my family seem to be allergic

8) DO YOU HAVE FRECKLES

nope! I have a couple beauty spots on my hands and face but thats kinda it

9) DO YOU ALWAYS SMILE FOR PICTURES

not really but if I've been told to smile then its 200% dead inside

10) WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE

i find many things annoying

11)DO YOU EVER COUNT YOUR STEPS WHEN YOU WALK

only when i go up and down stairs, but i also try to make sure i step with each foot equally (if that makes sense) and i step on only certain colour tiles when im bored

12) HAVE YOU EVER PEED IN THE WOODS

the real question is have i ever been in the woods? both answers are no

13) HAVE YOU EVER POOPED IN THE WOODS

refer to question 12

14)ummmm idk what this question is meant to be curse you Lin

15)DO YOU CHEW YOUR PENS AND PENCILS

nope, the idea weirds me out

16) HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE YOU SLEPT WITH THIS WEEK

none, this week and in general

17) WHAT SIZE IS YOUR BED

one person and a long yet smol doggo size

18) WHAT IS YOUR SONG OF THE WEEK

Eddie from the Rocky Horror Picture Show has been stuck in my head for the whole week so yeah i guess that

19)IS IT OKAY FOR GUYS TO WEAR PINK

HeLL YEAH DUDE HAVE YOU SEEN RAMI MALEK IN PINK

SKSKSKSKS END MY LIFE

but yeah, anyone can wear anything they want to wear (although a suit made out of meat might not be wise)

20) DO YOU STILL WATCH CARTOONS

dudeeeee scooby doo and tom and jerry are my jam I watch them on the regular (among other things)

21)WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVOURITE MOVIE

uhhm idkkkkk I tend to repress bad movies sksksk

22)WHERE WOULD YOU BURY HIDDEN TREASURE IF YOU HAD SOME

idk shove it in the closet ig at least it will be hidden behind my sexuality

23)WHAT DO YOU DRINK WITH DINNER

I usually only drink before or after but ig water??? cooldrink if I'm in a restaurant

24)WHAT DO YOU DIP A CHICKEN NUGGET IN

depends on the nug

25)WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE FOOD

How dare you assume i only have one favourite

tbh it depends cos i love pizza and pasta and stuff but then i cannot live with my granny's curries ksksmks

26) WHAT MOVIES COULD YOU WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND STILL LOVE

borhap, sing street, rhps, the natm movies, the harry potter movies, any mcu movies

27)LAST PERSON YOU KISSED/KISSED YOU

ahhahahahahahha bold of you to assume anyone wants to do that

28) WERE YOU EVER A BOY/GIRL SCOUT

nope but I was a catrobat which is basically my preschools acrobatics team that was actually really terrible

29)WOULD YOU EVER STRIP OR POSE NUDE IN A MAGAZINE

nahh m8

30) WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A LETTER TO SOMEONE ON PAPER

this week for a transactional task at school (It was in Afrikaans and I got a C skskskks)

31)CAN YOU CHANGE THE OIL IN A CAR

omg no

32)EVER GOTTEN A SPEEDING TICKET

not old enough to drive!

33)EVER RAN OUT OF GAS

my parents never have for as long as i can remember

34)WHATS YOUR FAVOURITE KINDA SANDWHICH

cheese because I am actually John Deacon

35)BEST THING TO EAT FOR BREAKFAST

MUFFINS!!!!

36)WHAT IS YOUR USUAL BEDTIME

school nights its 11pm otherwise i dont have one lol

37)ARE YOU LAZY

YES BUT MY LAZINESS MAKES ME ANXIOUS OOF

38)WHEN YOU WERE A KID WHAT DID YOU DRESS UP AS FOR HALLOWEEN

we dont celebrate that here but i rly want to it seems fun!

39)WHAT IS YOUR CHINESE ASTROLOGICAL SIGN

Ram, which is really cool because im an Aries, so I'm sheep squared

40)HOW MANY LANGUAGES CAN YOU SPEAK

English, Afrikaans (at a basic highschool level), I could speak very vERY basic isiZulu when I was younger but I'm not sure about now, I know a bit of French and Telugu, and I'm gonna start learning Hindi soon!!

41) DO YOU HAVE ANY MAGAZINE SUBSCRIPTIONS

nee

42) WHICH ARE BETTER, LEGOS OR LINCOLN LOGS

i didn't play much with legos and i have no idea what the second one is rip

43)ARE YOU STUBBORN

to an extent

44)WHO IS BETTER, LENO OR LETTERMAN

I kept reading Leno as Lenin ffs

45)EVER WATCH SOAP OPERAS

I watch them occasionally with my granny, but I don't keep up with them very well (Kasamh Se is my shit tho)

46)ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS

no, im afraid of falling in general tho

47) DO YOU SING IN THE CAR

My dad and I bop frequently to Never Gonna Give You Up in the car, and also classic bollywood songs (we have even learnt the choreography for some)

48)DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER

i perform

49) DO YOU DANCE IN THE CAR

well theres not exactly much space

50)EVER USED A GUN

nope

51)LAST TIME YOU GOT A PORTRAIT TAKEN BY A PHOTOGRAPHER

not sure

52)DO YOU THINK MUSICALS ARE CHEESY

most are but thats why i like them

53) IS CHRISTMAS STRESSFUL

we don't celebrate because we're not Christian (we still eat a lot and exchange presents tho), but it can get stressful if we have to visit extended family, mostly because my extended family loves to insult everything about me so thats great!

54)EVER EAT A PIEROGI

not i good sir

55) FAVOURITE TYPE OF FRUIT PIE

never had one, it doesnt appeal to me

56) OCCUPATIONS YOU WANTED TO BE WHEN YOU WERE A KID

a vet

57)DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS

i am a ghost

58)EVER HAD A DEJA-VU FEELING

not that i remember

59)DO YOU TAKE A VITAMIN DAILY

yes, I take a multi vitamin, a vitamin D pill because I'm vitamin D deficient, and im not sure if this is a vitamin or not but i take evening primrose oil so that im not outwardly a bitch due to pms

60)DO YOU WEAR SLIPPERS

i wear slipper socks, because my doggo got jealous of my doggie slippers and murdered them in cold blood

61)DO YOU WEAR A BATH ROBE

i have one and rarely use it because i forget it exists

62)WHAT DO YOU WEAR TO BED

a random shirt and pants, though ive been known to kick pants off (ive been doing that since birth), occasionally i manage to get the matching pj set

63)WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CONCERT

ive unfortunately never been to a concert before

64)WALMART TARGET OR KMART

ive never seen any of these stores in my country

65)NIKE OR ADIDAS

i own neither

66) CHEETOS OR FRITOS

neither

67)PEANUTS OR SUNFLOWER SEEDS

Peanuts because thats my doggos name!

68) EVER HEARD OF THE GROUP TRES BIEN

no sorry

69)EVER TAKE DANCE LESSONS

i went to a bhangra class for about a year, and we performed for our parents at the end of that year (i was in one of the few groups that didnt have to dance in lehengas thank goodness)

70)IS THERE A PROFESSION YOU PICTURE

YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE DOING

probably something creative, but I don't mind as long as they're happy with what they're doing and its not harming others!

71)CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE

yep

72)EVER WON A SPELLING BEE

never entered one, having to spell out loud makes me anxious

73)HAVE YOU EVER CRIED BECAUSE YOU WERE SO HAPPY

i think so

74)OWN ANY RECORD ALBUMS

nope

75)OWN A RECORD PLAYER

i wish

76)DO YOU REGULARLY BURN INCENSE

my granny burns incense while I'm at school because my mom and i both get really sick when its just been lit and the smell is strong. Going to the temple is a damn nightmare because of it

77)EVER BEEN IN LOVE

no, too busy fangirling

78)WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE IN CONCERT

oof a long list

Queen, Twenty One Pilots, Waterparks, Frank Iero and the Future Violents (ffs fronk stop changin the name), Panic! at the Disco...to name a few

79)WHAT WAS THE LAST CONCERT YOU SAW

refer to question 63

80)HOT TEA OR COLD TEA

both

81)TEA OR COFFEE

coffee

82)SUGAR COOKIES OR SNICKERDOODLES

sugar cookies

83)CAN YOU SWIM WELL

i wouldn't drown, but im no professional either

84)CAN YOU HOLD YOUR BREATH WITHOUT HOLDING YOUR NOSE

im doing it right now

85)ARE YOU PATIENT

86)DJ OR BAND AT A WEDDING

I've only ever been to Hindi,Tamil and Telugu weddings and lemme tell you 90% of the time bands flop at those weddings because they can't sing the classics without failing miserably, so DJs are generally better. However, in that case, if a band can perform those songs, then I'd prefer a band ig

87)EVER WON A CONTEST

yep, a couple of reading contests

88)HAVE YOU EVER HAD PLASTIC SURGERY

nope, not planning on it

89)WHICH ARE BETTER, BLACK OR GREEN OLIVES

dont like olives rip

90)CAN YOU KNIT OR CROCHET

i can knit!

in fact, my friends and i are so cool that we're in our schools knitting club (which besides myself, @grandfunnyemopainter and @imjustabruh , only has 2 other members)

91)BEST ROOM FOR A FIREPLACE

lounge or study/library

92)DO YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED

i guess, its not on my goal list tho

93)IF MARRIED, HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN MARRIED

94)WHO WAS YOUR HIGHSCHOOL CRUSH

currently in highschool, and in love with the borhap cast, sebastian stan, stephanie beatriz and band members (theres more but yeah)

95)DO YOU CRY AND THROW A FIT UNTIL YOU GET YOUR OWN WAY

nope, i have only two ways to deal, be a total pushover or a total bitch

96)DO YOU HAVE KIDS

nope

97)DO YOU WANT KIDS

kind of undecided, but i do want more pets

98)WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE COLOUR

Dark Blue

99)DO YOU MISS ANYONE RIGHT NOW

my dog, shes been ignoring me for about four hours now because I stayed at school for an extra hour (for knitting club!)

@softspaceboibrian @roger-taylor-owns-my-wigg @im-inlovewithmycar do it cowards

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marissasmoments91 · 5 years ago

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Ok so what’s next?

On December 24th 2018 in the wake of our family tragedy, I sat in my grandmother’s kitchen talking about health and fitness with 5 of my family members, we were making homemade pasta in preparation for Christmas the following day. I knew I needed to do something about my weight I couldn’t keep up the yo-yoing anymore. I remembered my cousin’s bf was a Personal trainer and wrote meal plans for people. “Do you think he’d be willing to write one for me?’ I asked. The answer was yes of course (it is his job after all). I messaged him at the start of the New Year and January 6th 2019 began my change.

To start he needed my height, weight (by this point my weight sat at 61.6kg) and waist measurement as well as photos of my front, back and both sides so that both he and myself could see changes over time. He also asked about the training I was doing.

He was detailed – I sent him all of the foods I liked broken down into categories, fruit, vegetables, dairy, proteins and snacks.

His rule was easy; eat all of the food on the meal plan It doesn’t matter what order you eat them in as long as it all gets eaten. Sounded easy enough.

The first meal plan he sent through I was eating over 2000 calories. Immediate panic ensued. 2000! Calories! That was over double what I would normally have eaten to try and lose weight. What was he doing? I had made a terrible mistake, and this was definitely not going to work. But I’m not a quitter and I had agreed to give it a go, so I put on my big girl pants and began prepping for the week.

The week went by and I was eating more food than I ever could have imagined. By the end of every day I thought I was going to explode. Kris was good though and checked in with me a couple of times through the week to see how I was feeling/coping. “Full” was always my reply. He assured me that it would be fine and he needed to assess where my metabolism, and by extension my whole body was at.

Sunday came and it was time for my weigh in, I was anxious, I stepped on the scale and lo and behold I had put on weight. Messaging Kris was nerve wracking but he said it was ok – still I panicked inside. He dropped my calories by about 300. They continued to drop each week and by the end of January I was down to 1300 calories. Kris explained that because of the way I had tried to diet in the past I had what he referred to as metabolic adaptation. My body was used to eating so few calories that the second I ate even a little bit more than that I would put on weight. Well great. Now what?

Reverse dieting that’s what.

“Reverse dieting involves gradually increasing calorie intake after dieting in an effort to boost metabolism. It’s especially popular for bodybuilders looking to ease their transition back to a normal diet.”

https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/reverse-dieting#what-it-is

Ok so I was going to be losing fat and gaining muscle simultaneously – a difficult process I was told. And it was/is. Eventually my body will adapt and my calories would be high enough that chances of me overeating day to day as well as when I go out would be much smaller.

I was still going to the gym (over a month straight which was a new record for me) I had paid for a few PT sessions as I was a gym novice and needed help knowing which exercises I should be doing. I stopped the PT by the end of January I had enough of a program to be on my own (or so I thought).

Since he is a PT as well, why didn’t I just go to the gym with Kris you ask? Well his gym was 30min away from my house and not super convenient for me to go before or after work. I stuck to my gym close to home.

As I continued with the meal plan and gym I started to notice changes in my clothes even though looking in the mirror I didn’t really think I looked much different.

By April I had lost just over 4kg but my calories weren’t increasing at the rate they should have been. When Kris suggested I train with him, I bit the bullet and agreed.

I spent the next 8 weeks training with Kris twice a week and 3 times on my own (with a program he put together). I avoided eating out and if I absolutely had to Kris would tell me what the best thing to eat was and what meals I should take out to compensate.

Even on my mums 50th birthday I stuck to my own meal plan whilst everyone around me ate pizza, pasta and more dessert than you can imagine. I’m Italian- we like our food.

I persevered and by June 20th 2019 my calories were up to 1800, I weighed 56.3kg and my waist was down to 28.5 inches. That ladies and gentlemen was also the same day I left for Europe for a month. 8 countries, 18 days with a short stint in London at the end. I indulged. Pizza, pasta and gelato in Italy, crepes in France, curry wurst in Germany and trdelnik in the Czech Republic. I didn’t really hold back. I tried to stick to some kind of a diet at the beginning but when the breakfast buffet consists of pretty much pastries only it made sticking to any semblance of a diet near impossible.

In preparation of my trip I researched each hotel to see which of those had gyms… Short answer: none. So I bought some resistance bands so I could do some exercise whilst away. I did the best I could and used them every third day or so.

Coming back I definitely knew the scale wouldn’t be kind. But I had made my choices over there, what’s done was done and I had to get over it. I came back weighing in at 62kg. I had essentially put on all of the weight that I had just lost a month prior.

Had I not gone to Europe then I’d be well and truly at my maintenance level by now and I’d solely be focusing on building muscle and getting as lean as possible.

I got straight back into the meal planning and training, I slowly began to drop some of the weight that had crept back on. August, September and October was extremely tough for me mentally. I felt like my body had stopped responding to training and food. I was getting frustrated.

At the end of September I attended the wedding of a friend. My meal plan was altered and I was supposed to only eat the main meal. Through canapés I was fine, through entrees I was fine. I ate the main and then out came dessert. A sticky date pudding. Not my favourite dessert but still goddamn tasty. I don’t think I even tasted the dessert – I inhaled it in about 3 minutes flat. I immediately felt guilty. I knew I shouldn’t have eaten it and I wished I hadn’t. I was disappointed and annoyed at myself. It was the first time I had eaten something not part of the meal plan or meal plan substitution (not including Europe of course). That Sunday my weight came in 1kg heavier than the week prior. There was nothing I could do except brush it off move on. I vowed never to let it happen again.

As we moved into October I started to see some changes in myself physically. My clothes fit better my waist measurement was getting smaller and overall I was pleased with my progress even if it was slow.

In November I distinctly remember one weekend I measured my waist and I had gone up a quarter of an inch. I had a meltdown, I had been working so hard doing everything right and it wasn’t working. My calories were around the 1200 mark in an effort to lose as much fat as possible while still putting on muscle. But I was over the diet and the training, I felt I was going backwards not forwards. It wasn’t working - for me it had stopped working.

November also brought about the start of the festive season, I had lunches booked in at work that I thought would be like my usual substitution, I could pick a meal to eat and Kris would swap out what he needed to. But the Chinese restaurant we booked made it difficult to substitute. For some reason the fact that I wouldn’t be able to eat what my colleagues were eating hit me hard. I got very very emotional. I knew I was overreacting but I thought I was doing well. If I was hitting goals why couldn’t I eat out? What no one tells you is that the closer you get to reaching that goal the harder you need to work to achieve them.

It was the first time I had wanted to quit and I was so close to doing so. But I persevered. I dragged myself to the gym and my PT sessions. If you hadn’t noticed I’m a perfectionist, I’m most competitive with myself, I like to be the best. Quitting meant I would be losing to myself. This mindset though can be dangerous and it is for me, it makes me stubborn. If I continued with this thinking then I would certainly be on a path to self-destruction. Never happy with where I was and constantly reaching for a self-inflicted goal I couldn’t achieve.

I mean shouldn’t I have the right to be able to love and be happy where I was at and the huge efforts and changes I had made?

I went to the staff lunch but I ate a bowl of steamed greens, no sauce, no oil, no flavour. It was the least delicious thing I’ve ever eaten but as I checked my waist measurement that weekend I was happy with my decision. I had lost half an inch on my waist.

Those of you reading this I can feel your judgement from here, just like I felt it from my colleagues on the day. “Why don’t you just eat something?” “Surely it wouldn’t make that much difference?””. Maybe it would have maybe it wouldn’t but it was my decision and mine alone.

I can also here the “How vain is she?” “You can’t eat like that the rest of your life. It’s not sustainable”. And you’re right it’s not. But this isn’t about vanity, this is about my overall health. If I’m strict now then once I have corrected the issues caused from poor diet practices I can relax with the strictness.

Two weeks later and another Christmas party popped up. This time I didn’t even ask, I knew what I had to do. I rang the restaurant and asked to have steamed vegetables instead of the set menu. They were very accommodating and happily fulfilled my request. Again that weekend brought another drop to my waistline by a quarter of an inch.

The end of November brought about my birthday and even then I chose not to indulge in cake but instead enjoyed my usual yoghurt and banana as per my meal plan. My colleagues were annoyed at me that I didn’t want a cake because then they didn’t get any, even though I said they could get one and I just wouldn’t have a piece.

It’s now December 2019 as I write this and I’m three weeks away from my waist needing to be 28 – 28.5 inches and three weeks away from a diet break. This means for me that I’ve hit my maintenance. Will I get there? I hope so. Am I terrified? Absolutely. I’ve relied on someone telling me what to eat for the better part of a year and to be on my own is daunting, I don’t want to undo all of the hard work.

I still feel anxious when I’m asked out to an event, what will I eat? Can I take my own food? How will this affect my weigh on Sunday? Every family function I’ve been to for the last 6 weeks I’ve taken my own food. I look forward to the day that these thoughts stop entering my mind and if anyone has any tips on how to do that please feel free to share.

I started off 2019 as wanting to get skinny but it became so much more than that. It became about my overall health and about a lifestyle change about bettering myself long term.

I look forward to 2020 and the new set of challenges it brings. I hope to see you with me along the way.

#health & fitness #health #body #gym #personal transformation #bodyimage #reversediet #gettinghealthy

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forgetmenotsandroses · 7 years ago

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Day is night when I’m with you

A/N: So... *clears throat* THIS IS FOR @slightlystalesushirolls WHO IS A MAGICAL PERSON!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY FRIEND,,, THEY ARE THE LIGHT OF MY LIFE (besides Phichit Chulanont) AND DESERVE BETTER PROBABLY BUT THIS IS WHAT I’VE GOT AND I THINK IT’S PRETTY OKAY. Uh. Yeah. Go check out their awesome stuff. And read this if you’d like.

Leoji week prompt (August 3): first meeting

@leojiweek

GUANG HONG

Before everything, before Guang Hong realizes he's in love, before late night conversations and agonizing time zones, Guang Hong meets Leo. It's a disaster of spectacular proportions.

Two skaters with passion and potential, ready to face the world, in a head-to-head collision. Literally. Guang Hong has his brain in the clouds, but his feet on the ground when he neatly ploughs through Leo de la Iglesia, a skater much like himself at a café near the rink. Though there are surface differences, both are out of place, a Mexican-American and a Chinese kid thrown into the jumble of competitive skating, getting breakfast in Canada, and wondering what, exactly, they are doing. Here for a debut, but still trying to find themselves between layers of extravagant fabric and the cold surface of the ice. None of this registers with Guang Hong, probably because he's too busy wiping up ketchup and pieces of omelette while stuttering apologies to notice. Neither of them really realize for awhile, actually. But life is built on surprises. This meeting, and this friendship are no different.

LEO

Leo laughs it off, of course. His worldview is too sunny and optimistic to let a scattered lunch and a fall have much impact. Isn't this one of the Chinese skaters, anyways? Someone around his age is always good to meet, regardless of how. As Guang Hong sputters and apologizes, Leo's mind has already taken a different course.

"You must be Guang Hong! Are you also making your debut this year? I'm Leo, by-the-way. A junior, like you unless I've made a mistake. Sorry if I have!"

The looks of confusion and disbelief crossing the other boy's face makes Leo want to smile. He's definitely determined to make a new friend."Well? I know I've seen you somewhere…"

"Y-yeah. I'm Guang Hong."

"So are you making your debut?"

"I guess? I really have no idea what I'm doing, though."

Leo laughs, almost barking like a seal, and just like that, the tension is gone. As Guang Hong fusses and pays for damages, Leo ponders what a friendship might mean.

Apart from his family and friends at home, he's never truly had an overseas correspondence, not even a pen pal. And it can be hard to compete with people you're close to. Will this be too difficult to maintain? He's so wrapped up in his thoughts, that he almost misses what Guang Hong asks him next."--and so I was thinking I could get you a lunch to make up for this mess?"It's Leo's turn to stutter and look slightly dumbfounded."S-sure. Sounds great!"

GUANG HONG

Later at the hotel, the panic kicks in. Did he just…? He did. Shit. Even though Guang Hong knows that this isn't a date, he's still nervous. Leo (he has a name for that cute boy he's been seeing at the rink!) has been a distant competitor, and possible rival until now.

Guang Hong cringes. The way egg flew into Leo's hair and milk spilled all over the floor… He's glad Leo was so kind about it. Right. Time to refocus; this isn't just dinner with a cute boy, this is a sincere apology. It's then he realizes: he forgot to ask for a number. Luckily, he has a source who knows just how he can get it.

"Phichit! Where are the American skaters staying?"

Phichit laughs at his flustered face and gently pats Guang Hong's head.

"The Americans, huh? I know you've had your eye on one of them for awhile, but this is forward for even you!"

Guang Hong glares at his friend."It's not like that! I accidentally ruined his breakfast so I told him I'd repay him by taking him out--"

Phichit screams.

"YOU ASKED HIM OUT?"

"--but I have no idea how to contact him!"

After he gives Phichit the whole story, he finally wheedles the name of the hotel that the Americans are staying in. (Phichit, of course, is not appeased by Guang Hong's insisting that it's just an apology dinner, and vows to plan the wedding.)

LEO

When Guang Hong shows up huffing and puffing at his hotel room (how he even knew what hotel they were staying at is a mystery), Leo wordlessly invites him in. It's then he learns that Guang Hong has been roaming around for two and a half hours in downtown Toronto attempting to find the hotel.After Leo invites him in, he pours the gasping human being before him a glass of water and wonders why anyone would go to such lengths to find him.

It's not like Leo doesn't have people he loves, and who love him in return. It's that he's just Leo de la Iglesia, yet another American skater in an endless line of them. He doesn't even know who he wants to be in this world! How he's gotten this far is beyond him, really. He's not really worth much of anything, let alone a gesture this nice. As quickly as these musings appear, his brain shocks him back into the real world, lest he lose track of what Guang Hong is saying like he did the first time they met.

"So after I figured out which hotel you were staying at, I looked it up. It looked really close on google maps, but then I missed a turn while I was walking and ended up going in completely wrong direction! I didn't even realize my mistake until I was pretty far in…"

"Wow! I'm sorry you had to put in so much effort to find me. So, what did you come here for?"

An unmistakable blush rises to Guang Hong's cheeks. Leo panics.

"N-Not that I mind or anything! I'm sorry that question was really rude after all the trouble you went to!"

"No! Don't apologize! I mean, I guess I did come pretty randomly but I, uh, needed to ask for your number."

"What?"

"Not for anything creepy! But since I still need to repay you for knocking into you this morning I figured it'd be easier if--"

"--you had my number. Oh."

They exchange phone numbers fairly quickly after that, and Leo plays a good host, offering Guang Hong snacks and water before he leaves. It's the least he can do, he figures. After the other skater is gone, he puzzles about the visit. There's something stirring in his chest, unfamiliar and strange.

GUANG HONG

Nervous and pacing, he calls Phichit for what feels like the hundredth time to confirm that reservations have been made for the trendy restaurant he's taking Leo to. He's glad he has Phichit. Supportive and fast, he not only helped him pick out a restaurant, but also helped him choose what to wear for this… apology meal. Guang Hong smiles, thinking about Phichit's reaction to one of his shirts in the hotel room.

"And Ji Guang Hong, whatever you do, I forbid you to wear that awful bear shirt! It does nothing for your eyes, or society as a whole! I'm warning you, I will soak it in kerosene and light it on fire if given the chance!"

Thinking about his friend's emotional outburst gives him just enough courage to text Leo. Leo replies promptly, and soon they're on their way to the restaurant.

LEO

He has Guang Hong in stitches from the beginning. To break the tension, Leo tells a funny story about his cousin's painful rendition of "Last Christmas", a song Guang Hong is delighted by because he actually knows it.

They spend a few minutes admiring the Canadian scenery before the taxi arrives at their destination. As promised, the restaurant is in the heart of the city, some hipster place with a menu of foods Leo has never even heard of. (What's 'joke pork roast', and why is it paired with stuffed quail feet and 'mushroom caviar'?)

Despite his efforts, there's an awkward stretch of time when the food has not yet come.

Guang Hong surprises him however, and strikes up a conversation about their lives at home.

As they compare and contrast their families, coaches, and training, Leo feels a shift. He's having fun! The atmosphere is welcoming and warm, they haven't run out of things to talk about, and Guang Hong seems to feel the same. Guang Hong… He's genuine and sweet, and cute in a way that Leo hasn't realized about before. Which brings him down to earth. This isn't a date, but does he want it to be?

GUANG HONG

In spite of time differences and packed schedules, they become close. Guang Hong feels lucky to have found such a friend. And unlucky too. Because being good friends doesn't really seem to have left a lot of room for romance, if any at all.

He's falling in love, and it's anything but slow. Leo's voice, his hair, his bright smiles, and even the fact that he plays the guitar have become overwhelmingly attractive. Guang Hong is hurtling toward the ground at an alarming rate, and Leo doesn't even seem to notice.

When Leo calls next, Guang Hong promises himself, he will say what's been on his mind.

LEO

Leo calls Guang Hong as usual. He wonders if this is what it feels like to be in love.

Leo's reminded of Guang Hong constantly, from small things, like seeing someone with the same hair colour, to talking with him and wondering what it would be like, just once, to hold hands. There are times he wants to be with him so desperately that he's afraid his heart will break. If this is love, it's a lot more painful than the story books make it out to be.

GUANG HONG

"And, um. That's how I feel. About you. If you feel differently that's okay! But tell me if you like me back. Like, later I guess. Bye."

"Wait--"

Guang Hong hangs up quickly, and wonders what he could've done differently. What if Leo doesn't even like him? He can be so oblivious, even though Guang Hong's been so blatantly obvious lately, hinting at every chance.

He wants to believe they have something, but at this point, everything seems like it's been viciously taken out and thrown into the open air.

LEO

It's nearly five when Leo goes to sleep, mind and heart racing. He's not completely sure how to feel about this new information, but in the light of day, he knows he will say yes.

GUANG HONG

What did he just do? Leo hasn't called back. What the fuck did he just do?

LEO

That's it. He's doing it.

"Hello?"

"Leo!"

"Um, about what you said yesterday."

"Yeah! That! It's totally okay if you don't like me back, you know. I really don't want to ruin our friendship and I--"

"Guang Hong." Leo cuts him off, and takes a deep, nervous breath before continuing.

"I feel… Honestly? Sometimes when we talk, I think my heart is going to explode."

Guang Hong's laugh is nothing short of a revelation to Leo. Because yes, the pain and ache are part of love. But so is this joy, so is this lightness. He is reborn.

GUANG HONG

The way Leo's fingers dance over the guitar strings, effortless and graceful and so beautiful that Guang Hong can't help but smile. Everything about Leo is passion, from the love he radiates for his family, to the way the blades of his skates clash against the ice, and to the intensity of his gaze which surprises even Guang Hong, who thinks he knows Leo best.

LEO

How the words spill fast out of Guang Hong's lips, chattering about everything and nothing. As Guang Hong rambles about pop culture and philosophy, Leo finds that he can't look away. His love could fill and ocean and his heart is overflowing. A word repeats itself over and over in his head. Home… A voice whispers. This is where you belong.

#leoji #leojiweeek #fluff #yoi #yuri!!! on ice #leo de la iglesia #ji guang hong #trin writes #sorry abt the cheese-y title hazel #BUT HAPPY BELATED BORTH MY FRAND

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pinkguacamole · 7 years ago

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Singapore: Finding the City Amongst the Malls

I almost wasn’t let in to Singapore because the Customs Agent was convinced I was not the same person from my passport photo. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but did you get work done?”

“No but I have spent the past 3 years baking in the sun and I don’t really comb my hair anymore…”

Finally, after an excruciating interview and a lot of tense waiting, they stamped me into a country I have been curious about ever since I read about it in National Geographic, maybe 10 years ago.

I have met some Singaporean friends while traveling and I was excited to reconnect with them! One of my friends, Matt whom I met in Macedonia and spent a Christmas with in Istanbul, Turkey (he is Muslim and I am Jewish), set me up with his friend Hafizhah who likes to host travelers. I stayed at her home with her family while I was in town and it was wonderful. Hafizhah and Matt took me to all of the places they like to go to and thought I would enjoy.

They brought me to cool neighborhoods and Malaysian restaurants. They made me try Durian…but it was in the form of a cake. That was really nice of them to give me a pastry instead of the fruit, but the smell of durian will haunt my dreams for the rest of my life. Cake can’t save everything. I was also excited to check out the Harry Potter themed cafe Platform 1094. It was cool to dress up but I think they could have done a lot more with the theme. One morning, we went on a treetop hike through one of Singapore’s nature reserves.

When I wasn’t with Matt or Hafizhah, or my other friend Shalini whom I met traveling almost 4 years ago in Scotland, I was exploring by myself. I took the underground train and walked all over the neighborhoods I had heard about beforehand. Marina Bay is where the giant man-made trees are and they do not disappoint! They drape across a skyline of oddly shaped modern sky-scrapers. Every building I passed left me in awe. Singapore is trying very hard to look fancy and it is working!

I went to Little India so I could try some of my favorite food: Vegetarian Indian! Unfortunately the curry was a bit cold and it went right through me. This happens with Indian food sometimes. I love curry but sometimes my body says: “no.”

Luckily, Little India was not too far from one of Singapore’s most prominent treasures: a giant mall (where there are typically nice toilets).

I swear, Singapore is mostly malls and then some streets and trees in between. Every Singapore Mass Rapid Transit Station seems to end in a Mall. Downtown- “oh what’s that gorgeous building?”

A mall.

There are malls across the street from malls.

I got overwhelmed a few times when I was trying to exit the underground station and landed in a mall. Sometimes it was really hard to find the exit…to the outside world. I had a few panic attacks trying to escape. I don’t do well in malls after spending 2 years in Madagascar. All of the consumerism and things I have no interest in purchasing (because I am a poor traveler) just overwhelm me.

I am so lucky I had Singaporean friends to show me around because I am afraid I might have been sucked into a mall and never sprung free if I did not have people to guide me.

The best part of staying with Hafizhah is that she was spending a lot of time celebrating the cultures of Singapore and I got to tag along! One night we went to her Indian-Singaporean friend’s house to try on Punjabi Suits. Her and her friend are teachers and it was a cross-cultural day at school where people were supposed to dress in one of the various Singaporean Cultures that wasn’t their own: Chinese, Malay, Tamil or …other. Her friend’s mom was so excited for me to try on their dresses too. The sweet little old lady ran all over the house grabbing all of the colors she thought would look good on me, pulling the garments over my head, and continuously telling me my hair was a mess. It was one of the most hilarious “dress-up” montages I have ever experienced. She wanted me to keep a Punjabi Suit, but I just don’t have room in my small bag. Also in America it would be very offensive for me to ever wear it. I do understand why cultural appropriation in America is such a problem, but it was honestly so refreshing to be in an Asian country surrounded by people sharing their culture with me in such exuberance. It would have been completely rude for me to not try on these dresses. And they are absolutely gorgeous.

These past few weeks, Muslims have been celebrating Hari Raya, a post- Ramadan series of feasts and family time. Hafizhah cooked up a traditional Malaysian meal and throughout Saturday her cousins, former students, and friends came to eat, drink tea, and celebrate. I had so much fun meeting them and learning about Muslim customs specific to Malay culture.

I have only been in Singapore for a few days and I am leaving tomorrow because it is so expensive, but in my short time I have had so many beautiful experiences. Singapore is an interesting place because it is a city-state on a series of islands. Singapore is just Singapore. And it is one of the most economically powerful countries in the world. Since it is so small, it is easy for the government to maintain control over certain things, but it did not seem as intense as I expected.

Thanks to globalization and the resolve for Singaporeans to be united by learning English in school, I feel like I have so much in common with my Singaporean friends. We all come from different backgrounds but the internet and pop culture spread far and wide and despite our different religions and ways of dress, we are all so similar and it is gloriously beautiful.

#singapore #travel #seasia #muslim #culture #harry potter

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lovinglunaxxtothemoonandback · 7 years ago

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What a blur...

Well...this post to you comes from my new living room in North Carolina..and what a blur it’s been!

Wednesday: We had a great NJ Day. My friend Jenny was off so we spent the day in downtown Point Pleasant. Luna was a handful but we enjoyed walking around the stores. The teacher supply store was giving a 25% off discount so I did really well. I also got a NJ outline necklace at my favorite PP store Stella e Luna. We ended the day with iced coffee and pizza..good times. It was also Kory’s last day at his NJ store so we had a fun game night to celebrate

Thursday: We visited my grandmother and ran some errands before going home and finishing up packing. Packing Luna’s room was really hard, I was crying. We created that room for our little girl, and it’s grown up with her..leaving it behind was hard. I can barely even remember Thursday honestly, just working continuously to get stuff done.

Friday: Loading day! First thing in the morning we dropped Luna off with her sitter. Well first we picked up flowers for her. Luna was very excited to be there. Then it was on to picking up the truck. It was starting to rain and I was getting nervous. Kory took the truck and I ran to target to get a new litter box for the cats going with my BIL. Kory beat me home but waited for me and Jenny to get there to help him back the truck into our spot. When he backed it in and opened it up I started to panic..it didn’t look nearly as big as I expected. Once my BIL and his friend showed up we started loading. Luckily, there was no more rain but damn it was humid. Bringing everything down from the second floor apartment SUCKED. After about 3-4 hours though, everything was loaded. And I mean EVERYTHING! It all fit!!!! I couldn’t believe it. We even had room to spare to pick up the things at my aunts house. Anyway, we treated the guys to pizza then said our goodbyes. I ran to the store to get flowers and a birthday cake for my aunt, then I picked Luna up from her sitters and that was REALLY hard..I was crying. We’re going to miss her a lot.

We met Kory at my aunts and relaxed for the evening. She cooked and my cousin came over with her kids and we had a cake for my aunts birthday. It was a nice evening. But then anxiety started hitting me and I couldn’t sleep AT ALL. Took me a couple of hours it was awful.

Saturday: Woke up to my aunt letting us know there was a massive storm front coming and a tornado watch. In NJ...cool. It didn’t wind up being too bad and cleared up pretty quickly. Once it cleared up with left Luna with my aunt to go back to the apartment to clean and return the keys. It took 4 hours and it was AWFUL. I was a sad to leave but then they were obnoxious in the office (saying they would charge me for the rubber pool pass bracelets I pack...bite me) so it took the sadness away.

I was exhausted when we got back to my aunts and it was chaos there. Luna was exhausted, she did a lot with her cousins and she was being straight up nasty. I kept trying to remove her from the situation but her cousins kept following and it was terrible and I was so tired. Luckily I finally got her to lay down with me for just a few minutes to talk and relax and my cousin put her kids on their screens so it would be quiet and everything was better after that. Kory showed up and it was time to load up the stuff at my grandmas house. My moms dining room table was being stored there and we were taking my grandmas patio set. It was super heavy and our friend helping us move was coming a lot later than expected so it took a lot to get it on the truck but we managed! Finally everything was loaded (we fit EVERYTHING expect 2 of the 6 patio chairs which we can bring down when we visit for christmas). We hooked the tow dolly up to the truck (my cousins husband had arrived luckily) and tried to get Kory’s car up...but it wasn’t working. His car sits too low and it was destroying the bumper. So it was decided that my car would have to be hooked up and I would have to drive his to NC...GREAT!!!! Cue panic attack..you guys know how you get used to your own car the idea of driving someone elses car that far is nerve wrecking. Plus my car has apple car play which makes using gps really easy..plus its a hybrid..just ugh. My car went up on the tow dolly without a problem and we just switched stuff around.

We ordered chinese food (fun fact, my first ever meal and last ever meal as a NJ resident were both chinese from the same restaurant!). My cousins were so sweet, they bought Luna “going away gifts” (even though she just had a birthday). They got her a big Elsa doll and a mini Else castle with the characters. Perfect for the car! Kory had to go pick up our friend (who was running late) it was nearly 9 and he wasn’t back yet so I put Luna to bed myself. Her cousins were SO SAD to say goodbye (Luna didn’t really understand why). She was exhausted and went down without a peep. Kory showed up and we said goodbye to my cousins. We kept the emotions away for the kids. Not long after it was time for bed..it hit me how scary everything was and I was crying in bed. Took me a long time to fall asleep again.

Sunday: The day arrived! Alarms went off at 3am (yawn) and we got moving. My aunt woke up and made me coffee (yay). We loaded up the cars, got Luna out of bed and said our goodbyes. That was super emotional, my aunt and I were both basket cases. They’re coming down in November though..just a few months away. Luna woke up and was very excited for the trip..I gave her some melatonin and prayed she would fall back asleep. Not long out of my aunts development, she did. We stayed behind the truck for about 30 minutes until I couldn’t take the slow speed anymore and sped up. Around 5:30 Kory called me to see how we were doing (they had stopped for gas and to switch drivers). Luna was still asleep and stayed asleep until nearly 7!!! By then we were in Virginia so we stopped at the first rest area for a potty break (I had to pee SO BADLY but refused to stop as long as she was sleeping!!!). I got us situated and started Luna’s “gifts” (I picked up a bunch of cheap stuff from the dollar tree and wrapped it) every 40 mins or so I set an alarm on my phone and she got a present. It was great, kept her really well behaved.

Our next stop wasn’t long after the first but I wanted to get gas before we got off 95 because 84 doesn’t have as many options. I took an exit and got gas at the first gas station I saw..my first time pumping gas ever (hello Jersey girl here!!). I couldn’t figure it out, Kory wasn’t answering and I was trying not to panic. Luckily I figured it out soon..stupid pump made you start pumping before paying..lame.

Back on the road! I wanted to stop at a rest area around 11 to get lunch together (we had sandwiches in the car). I missed one at 10:45, figured there would be one soon but no luck. Nearly 12 I couldn’t take it anymore so we stopped at a Pilot with a dunkin donuts right off the highway (figured I could use caffeine anyway). We pottied and I got coffee then Luna jumped in a giant puddle before I could stop her and was filthy and soaked and needed cleaning and changing. This was the start of our downfall. Finally we got back on the road with only 2 hours to go. Luna was set up with lunch and a movie. Surprisingly, she fell asleep in front of her movie (NEVER HAPPENS). We hit our first traffic of the trip (accident) but she slept through it. Less than an hour left! We were definitely getting testy with each other but we were almost there! When we hit the local highway I was giddy with relief. When we pulled into the neighborhood I legit started sobbing I was so happy. When we pulled into the driveway I just laid my head on the steering wheel and cried for a minute.

Kory and Jamie showed up with the truck and 40 mins after us (they made really good time, they stopped a lot more than we did). We went to get lunch then came back and unloaded. Despite having less people (and me being basically useless because I felt so sick ) and Luna being underfoot we were done in just a couple of hours. I don’t really remember much else about that day, I was so tired. I slept so well in my own bed.

Monday: Errands day! Pick up the modem (took forever), to Lowes to get parts needed for the dining room table, to the grocery store for stuff for an epic brunch. By noon we were finally eating at our dining room table and it was DELICIOUS!! Then I put Luna in her room for quiet time and unpacked the rest of the kitchen while Kory and Jamie took the truck to get the washer, dryer, BBQ and lawn mower (YIKES money being spent). When they got back the hooked up the washer and dryer and went to return the truck. They came back with food (we didn’t have time to BBQ) and it was time to bring Jamie to the airport. I was sad our last bit of NJ was leaving us. It’s going to be okay though. Kory had to stop by his new store so Luna and I picked some stuff from Target. Another exhausting day.

Tuesday: Kory’s last day off before going back to work. We did a little bit around the house then ventured out to toys r us (about 35 mins away) to finally spend Luna’s birthday money. We got a play house and little pool for the backyard. There was also a home decor store called at home..it was basically a homegoods on steroids..we couldn’t even get through the whole thing! We we’re starving by then and got a last hurrah meal and steak and shake..shakes to go and everything. When we got home Luna went into quiet time and we relaxed. When she was done Kory mowed the lawn then we put together her house and the patio furniture and had our first family bbq. It was delicious and just perfect. I’ve been wanting to have our own backyard for a looooong time.

Today: Kory had work :( Luna and I still ventured out to walmart and the dollar tree (using gps to get to walmart haha). It was a very slow, long, lonely day. I got some stuff done around here and set up Luna’s pool and we had fun. Hoping to make friends soon..it’s awfully lonely here. But we’re still enjoying the house and the area! Today I got an email from my new boss with our specials and lunch schedules so we can make our class schedules. It’s super weird seeing my name on the schedules..and very exciting and nerve wrecking! She also texted me to let me know that my classroom is ready so when Kory has off next week I’m going to go in and start bringing stuff in!

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rickyticky-bobbywobbin · 7 years ago

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100 Questions tag thing.

1. Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed? closed. my closet is not used for clean clothing.

2. Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotels? if my mom tells me to

3. Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out? tucked in but sometimes my sister sleeps on my bed and somehow undoes everything

4. Have you stolen a street sign before? yeah

5. Do you like to use post-it notes? i like using them when i have them

6. Do you cut out coupons but then never use them? yeah they are usualy for fast food joints but im just too broke to buy fod lol

7. Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of bees? uhmmm... im assuming i wont die so ill say bear because thats much more bad ass

8. Do you have freckles? I do!

9. Do you always smile for pictures? depends who is taking the picture

10. What’s your biggest pet peeve? when im in the car and i get no say in the music. sorry but like... i want a say i dont wanna listen to some sad rock.

11. Do you ever count your steps when you walk? yeah lol

12. Have you peed in the woods? no

13. Have you ever pooped in the woods? no

14. Do you ever dance even if there’s no music playing? uhm if im alone yeah

15. Do you chew your pens and pencils? nope

16. How many people have you slept with this week? 1

17. What size is your bed? twin

18. What is your song of the week? Julia - Charly Bliss

19. Is it OK for guys to wear pink? YES

20. Do you still watch cartoons? yeah, i have a three year old sister

21. What is your least favorite movie? uhm....that ive seen , probably the hunger games, just not my thing

22. Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some? in a cemetery w a fake tomb stone ontop

23. What do you drink with dinner? water or if im at a restaurant i get Shirley temples

24. What do you dip a chicken nugget in? sweet and sour sauce or ketchup

25. What is your favorite food? sushi and poke bowls

26. What movies could you watch over and over again and still love? Rocky Horror Picture Show and Scott Pilgrim VS the World

27. Last person you kissed/kissed you? i smooched my dad on the cheek before going to bed last night but on the lips was my bf

28. Were you ever a boy/girl scout? nah

29. Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine? depends on how much im getting paid and if i look good lol

30. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper? I wrote my dad a fathers day card but a letter that i shipped in the mail was like... sophomore year or something to my at the time boyfriend.

31. Can you change the oil on a car? HA no

32. Even gotten a speeding ticket? cant drive yet

33. Even ran out of gas? when i was in the car with my dad

34. What’s your favorite kind of sandwich? a hoagie. its like roast beef, turkey, and chicken w lettuce tomato and red onions w mayo and mustard. its so good

35. Best thing to eat for breakfast? depends on the mood. i like grits and eggs or sometimes i want like blueberry pancakes

36. What is your usual bedtime? 3-4 am

37. Are you lazy? yep

38. When you were a kid, what did you dressed up as for Halloween? Lots of things, i was a hobo, a bat, a cat, snow white, a pirate, a witch, a puppet, and a whole bunch of other shit

39. What is your Chinese astrological sign? Tiger

40. How many languages can you speak? English and a little chinese

41. Do you have any magazine subscriptions? no

42. Which are better: LEGOS or Lincoln Logs? uhm i played with lincoln logs more but i like legos more, theres more things to make

43. Are you stubborn? yeah

44. Who is better: Leno or Letterman? i dont really care about talk shows

45. Ever watch soap operas? my mom watched one but idk what it is

46. Are you afraid of heights? im more afraid of falling to my death

47. Do you sing in the car? YES

48. Do you sing in the shower? YEP

49. Do you dance in the car? you can dance in a car?

50. Ever used a gun? nah

51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? idk my mom is a photographer so probably last year for fathers day

52. Do you think musicals are cheesy? eh they can be lol

53. Is Christmas stressful? yeah bc my family that lives close hates us and we HAVE TO GO and it sucks

54. Ever eat pierogi? what is that

55. Favorite type of fruit pie? i love it all

56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? a florist, astronaut, vet, aaand president

57. Do you believe in ghosts? yes

58. Ever have a deja-vu feeling? alot lol

59. Do you take vitamin daily? No, theyre expensive

60. Do you wear slippers? no

61. Do you wear a bath robe? nope

62. What do you wear to be comfortable? Leggings and hoodies or teeshirts

63. What was your first concert? idk lol i went on tour with my dad when i was like itty bitty so my first concert was prob one of his, but the first one i remember was when i went to go see good Charlotte and sum 41

64. Walmart, Target or KMART? i like target

65. Nike or Adidas? i havent worn either so idk

66. Cheetos or Fritos? BBQ FRITOS or crunchy cheetos

67. Peanuts or Sunflower Seeds? Ui like sunflower seeds

68. Ever hear of the group Tres Bien? no?

69. Ever take dance lessons? i took three weeks of ballet when i was a baby

70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? uh idk lol

71. Can you curl your tongue? i can double curl it :^).

72. Ever won a spelling bee? i cant spell for shit

73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy? Yeah lol i cry a lot

74. Own any record albums? i have a million bc of my dads record collection but i have a few of my own

75. Own a record player? my dad does

76. Do you regularly burn incense? no my parents are stoners so they light them lol

77. Even been in love? Yeah

78. Who would you like to see in concert? panic at the disco, bruno mars, and Charly Biss

79. What was the last concert you saw? I saw the regretts at the echo.

80. Hot Tea or Cold Tea? hot when im sick and cold when im not

81. Tea or Coffee? tea

82. Sugar Cookies or Snickerdoodles?BOTH

83. Can you swim well? eh im okay

84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? Yes

85. Are you patient? usualy

86. DJ or Band at a Wedding? uhm probably a band idk

87. Ever won a contest? yeah a few art contests and one poetry contest

88. Have you ever had plastic surgery? no... i wanna get my nose fixed...

89. Which are better: Black or Green Olives? BLAFT i dont like either

90. Can you knit or crochet? uhm i cross stitch

91. Best room for a fireplace? the bathroom duh, lol ive had fireplaces we just dont use them ever so i dont really care

92. Do you want to get married? yeah one day, i never really wanted to a while a go but i kinda want to now.

93. If married, how long have you been married? not married yet

94. Who was your high school crush? uh.. i dated a few people in highschool so mu crushes changed all the time

95. Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way? No lol

96. Do you have kids? no but i am always babysitting my 3 year old sister so its like i have a kid lol

97. Do you want kids? maybe

98. What is your favorite color? uh dark purple and black

99. Do you miss anyone right now? yeah...

100. Who are you going to tag to do this tag next? no one lol. do it if you want

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pisati · 6 years ago

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I was pretty shell-shocked after my dad passed. I knew it was coming for 11 years. but the feeling of permanence didn’t hit me until I reached out and held his hand as he lay where he died; in his bed, cold and stiff. the hospice chaplain said some soothing words I can’t remember. I looked up and I remember a very slight, very deep panic hit me. it wasn’t supposed to be today. I didn’t get to say goodbye. did he know I loved him? where the fuck do you go from here?

we went back the next day to move everything out. my uncle came down from new york to help; my cousin had seen my post about it on facebook and told him, and he called my mom to tell her he was coming. she hadn’t even asked. we didn’t even know where to start. I told mom, just get it out. I know what I want to keep. if I can’t decide now I’ll keep it until I do. mom was clearing off the dining table he’s had for years. she asked me if it was okay to throw out some fortune cookies that had been sitting there amid the clutter. almost definitely from one of our dinners. I don’t know if he ordered from the chinese restaurant next door when I wasn’t there. I started crying almost immediately and shook my head. it really wasn’t okay.

this was going to be a lot harder than I thought.

I don’t know how we did it in one day. we got lucky to get some junk haulers to come that day (usually they’re booked out well in advance, but of course you can’t predict these things. it was september 26th, and we didn’t want to pay october rent). we loaded up my uncle’s truck and my mom’s car. unloaded furniture at my aunt’s house 15 minutes away. I was stone-faced the entire time. my mom and uncle made a drop-off without me at one point and I sat on the floor and looked at the empty space and cried again. I was just here. he was just here. I was just sitting with his doctor, wheeling him out of his last appointment in his wheelchair. he just joked with the security guy and the lady taking payments for the parking garage. we were just sitting in the bank together, putting my name on his account. I’d just brought him skittles in bed, because he wanted something with flavor. I had a long day, I wanted to get going home. I turned out the lights, left his classical piano radio playing. “love you, sweetie, goodnight”, from his bed. I said “goodnight, love you too”, and held my hand on the doorknob. I paused for a second before I opened it. I don’t know why. maybe somehow I just knew that would be the last time I’d see him alive. at one of his last appointments, I heard his doctor tell him she worried that 4 weeks without chemo would be too long. we tried one last round, but a week in he decided he’d had enough. he made it 5 weeks. and suddenly here I was. in an empty room.

I think we went back the day after that to finish up cleaning things and hand in the keys. we all went to a deli for lunch. I really wasn’t hungry, but I ordered pancakes anyway. safe enough. had to choke back tears once again as I sliced through them, because I realized that I always prep my pancakes the way dad taught me. I even remember him teaching me. butter in between so it melts with the heat, then cut into thirds lengthwise and crosswise. then syrup. I shoveled piece after piece into my mouth so I wouldn’t cry.

I don’t remember the next few days. I remember going to target at one point, not sure if I needed something or not. but I’d found a gift card dad had given me for my birthday the year before and it still had money on it. I wandered the store in a haze, not really looking at anything. I wanted to gift myself something that I would enjoy that reminded me of him; something I feel like he would have given me himself. I found a collection of necklaces and bracelets in the jewelry section; each one was held by a card that had a description of the symbolism. there were some tacky, cheesy ones, like love and faith and a lot of other bullshit you’d see tattooed on a white girl, probably. but the one that stood out to me was a delicate sterling silver necklace with a tiny v-shaped charm at the center, labeled gratitude. “everything comes to you in the right moment. be patient. be grateful.”

I had to go through all his stuff after I brought it home. mom doesn’t like a mess, and everything we’d brought home was sitting on the first floor, taking up almost the whole room. all dad’s paintings, his two computers, his art supplies and cleaning stuff and appliances. everything. he didn’t own much, though, so it was manageable for me. I brought what I thought was the most important stuff up to my room and I sat on the floor and sifted through it to organize it. I shredded a lot of old papers. I didn’t even know he kept all the divorce papers. all the attorney letters. old receipts. but I found important things too, that he and I never looked at together. his high school and college diplomas. his work from college on cancer research (the irony). his old glasses, even from childhood. family history records, dating back to the early 1800s in what is now croatia. so many pictures. letters from his mom, when she and grandpa lived in arizona. I never got to meet them, but I think I really would have liked my grandma. I think I got her smile. she was a gorgeous lady. and sounded so sweet. I found a christmas card from her, and she had written in “you are always in our thoughts, know that you are loved – mom + dad” and I burst into tears again. he’d even kept his baptism certificate, and the little milestone calendar they gave his mom at the hospital when he was born. december 28th, 1945. his little, tiny footprints in ink on the first page.

then I found his birth certificate.

it hit me like a truck. I could hold his birth certificate and his death certificate both in my hands. a whole life between two pieces of paper. and that’s all that’s left. that, the box of ashes at the foot of my bed, and a few storage bins of things, most of which I know he didn’t even care about. I could hear his voice in my head when I couldn’t decide on what to do with something of his: “it doesn’t matter to me, whatever you want to do, sweetie”. is that really it, then? suddenly you’re here, suddenly you’re not? and what is there to show for it?

but the more I think about it, the more I’m determined to say that can’t be it. maybe he was here for a tiny blip on the timeline that is human history. maybe we all are. maybe once his brother is gone and my brother is gone and my mom is gone and I’m gone, it might be like he never existed at all. he’ll be a name in an obituary, a co-author on one research paper that probably isn’t even useful anymore. so it is with everyone who has ever existed, whose faces I’ll never see, whose names I’ll never know. maybe on a grand scale, none of us are important. did he have a purpose here? do I? I know why I’m here. I’m here because my mother always wanted a blonde, blue-eyed little girl, and by 30 she felt her time was running out. she married the first one who’d agree to it, and she got her blonde, blue-eyed little girl. except that’s about all the expectations of hers that I met. she wanted the child in her dreams, she got me. I didn’t ask to be here. nobody did. we all end up here somehow, and we all die.

maybe there is no point. but my dad’s effect– all the words, actions, lessons he taught me– are still with me and always will be. they’re in the way I prep my pancakes. they’re in the way I drive; he was much more patient than my mom and had me from sitting nervous in a parking lot to cruising down the highway in 2 hours; she could barely get me on the road without yelling at me. he taught me the word empathy before I could even understand what it meant. I hope I never forget his laugh or his smile, but if I do, that’s okay, because I’ll know at least that I got to enjoy them at one point in my life. maybe cosmically speaking none of us matter. but my dad means so, so much to me. and maybe that’s what’s more important. mattering to the people that matter. who cares if some person in the distant future doesn’t know who I was? what I did? I’d rather have them know me now, rather than not being able to control the game of telephone that undoubtedly happens through time. how much do we really know about anyone we don’t know personally?

what was the reason my dad was here? who knows. but he still tried to enjoy the little things. he tried to make people laugh, with his weird sense of humor. I just saw on timehop today, 3 years ago, dad had probably called me. it snowed a lot that winter. “this is great packing snow. I asked about 20 people to have a snowball fight and they all refused”. the last few years he only ate sugar-free candies because he said the sugary ones made him kind of sick, but he kept 40-count boxes of fruit gummies at home. he’d take a few in his bag when he’d go places and hand them out to cashiers, bankers, waiters, his nurses and doctors. just to see them smile over something little. once I got a fortune in a fortune cookie from one of our dinners; it simply said “it tastes sweet”. I showed it to him, confused but still slightly amused by it. he said, “that’s life, sweetie. dolce vita.”

sweet life. he’d been depressed and suicidal for years. and yet.

#something else on my mind #probably an appropriate place for this

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againjack · 7 years ago

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Rewind, catch up

Friday Mom and I played tourist. This resulted in a few random texts between Colby and I. Originally Colby and I were supposed to go to game night group that evening, but it got pushed back to Saturday. Saturday Colby was doing some home repair and fuxored his back. I was invited to the gaming group stuff separate from him, since he now couldn’t go anywhere - his friends were really cute in saying that I’m not just his any more and being sure to text me separate to ensure I got the message. However, due to three stressful days with my mom (which is normal) so I wasn’t much in the way of company and ended up hanging out with Colby being his nursemaid and chilling out.

Sunday morning Colby was out cold from his pain meds, I made breakfast and ended up heading home. Colby later told me he didn’t get up until 1pm but he ate the cold eggs and coffee I left for him. We had plans to meet up with him and two of his brothers for Chinese Sunday (Christmas Eve) like the good Jews we are. It was pretty good Chinese, a place I hadn’t been to before. It was interesting seeing the dynamic. The older of the two brothers was clearly a) trying to behave in front of my mom and b) pushing the younger brother’s buttons. The younger was just himself. Colby also was trying to mediate his brothers and give a good impression.

We had car pooled so after arriving back at Colby’s we went up so she could see his place and chat a bit. Poor Colby was embarrassed (he told me later) as he had wanted to clean it up, but throwing his back out he hadn’t had a chance to. Honestly, other than a few boxes from gifts, it wasn’t any different than I’ve seen since May. :P

Monday morning Colby came up to my place. He was slower than normal, and predictably late. Luckily, as I said, it was predictable. I wanted to serve Christmas dinner at 1, so I told him to arrive at 11am, and he actually arrived at noon. This gave me a chance to prep and get most of dinner in the oven (spiral ham, scalloped potatoes, steamed green beans, rolls) so we could sit for a bit and visit and exchange gifts.He enjoyed the gift she got him, and she enjoyed the thoughtful gift he had gotten for her.

Per tradition, after dinner we went to see a movie I had bought tickets to in advance - Jumanji. Mom actually picked it out, I hadn’t expected her to want to see that one. lol We enjoyed it a lot. Then we came back to my place where I did some clean up before E and his wife came over to watch Christmas Dr Who. We had some technical difficulties but Colby got it all working. Due to Colby’s still very tender back, as well as both working the next day, he didn’t stay the night.

Wednesday night we met up again to car pool, I was taking Colby and Mom (as in I paid, but Colby predictably drove) to the Buckhead Diner. Colby had insisted we take her to one of the Buckhead Life restaurants, but mom balked at paying $95 for a steak and no sides. So we compromised on the Diner. She enjoyed the meal, and grilling Colby. She pulled no punches and was really difficult on some points with him. When she was in the bathroom he confided in me that he felt judged - and came up wanting. She confided in me when he was in the bathroom that his assessment was accurate. :P I have no idea what was said when I was in the bathroom. lol

We didn’t go up or hang out long after dinner. I had to play referee a few times on the drive back to Colby’s - either steering him away from topics that would set her off, or telling her to back off. After getting home I texted him, “Now imagine that coming at you from EVERY member of ones family all your life. Do you better understand why I’m so tentative and need regular positive assurances?” His response was, “No mystery.” Which left me a bit worried she had scared him off.

Mom really does not like certain things about Colby: how much he drinks, how he handles his money, how he appears to live a lifestyle much bigger than his income. She also doesn’t like that at our age he wants kids. She thinks he isn’t much of a “world traveler” and was surprised when I said he’s been to Mexico, much of Central America, and Israel. She can tell I am very much in love with him and she is doing her best to waive red flags and get me to break it off. She likes to say she did that with my exhusband, but she wasn’t so clear or emphatic.

Thursday I reached a breaking point with Mom again, and she with me. She made the comment about how she is ready to go home. I know she was trying to guilt me, but I wasn’t having any of it. I had a right to be upset about the several things that she had me upset over. As I told her, it isn’t so much that they are little things, but that they add up and she refuses to acknowledge or respect my boundaries, then she is butt hurt that I’m pissed at her efforts which in turn cause me MORE work fixing/redoing what she did.

Friday evening we were going to meet up at Colby’s work, grab a quick dinner, then head to the Botanical Gardens for their light show. He learned late that afternoon from his housekeeper that there was something leaking into his kitchen around the lights. We had dinner and went to the gardens without him.

Saturday Mom and I met up with a friend of mine whom I am close to. It was long overdue considering the friendship she and I have had for years now. Colby called while we were visiting, and didn’t get the hint that I couldn’t chit chat. :P I did get him off the phone fairly quickly. He let me know he had (forgotten to bring his keys to my place) and left me a gift in my mailbox. (Queue internal panic thinking about how Jamaica left me things in my mailbox after the breakup.)

When we got back home, I found the gift. Today (Saturday) marks an important one year anniversary for me (when I finished my conversion to Judaism.) He had gotten me a beautiful, jeweled tree of life necklace - with my birthstone in it. I was breathless. This was as big and awesome as the ruby earrings he got me for Chanukah. So I guess mom didn’t scare him off after all. He later sent me a text, he had a note to go along with it and forgot to leave it with the box. It was a very sweet note, that he signed “Love, Colby” (obviously his name, not code name. :P) His handwriting is as bad as mine, if not maybe worse. lol

It was the first time he wrote/said Love. Like, more than heart emoji. It totally made me cry.

I asked him to save it for me to put in my shadowbox. He said he had already crumpled it and put it in the recycle bin, but offered to rewrite it for me. I told him not to, the wrinkles would add character. :P

Mom leaves on Tuesday. Tomorrow evening we are going to Colby’s OB&SIL house for NYE. That way she will have met all the brothers. She isn’t keen on the idea of going out or meeting more people, but she made it clear she is doing me a big favor in doing so. I think that OB and SIL will both will impress her and make her feel better about Colby’s lifestyle and choices.

#dating Colby #Meeting the family #meeting the parents #momma bear is overprotective

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nigelwenttofrance-blog · 8 years ago

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That Time I Almost Peed Myself on the Bus

Greetings!

So, last we talked (er, you read? I guess?), we were having our first Tartiflette Tuesday (#funfacts: we haven’t had one since), and throwing probably very cherished childhood toys of my landlords children into the pool because they stare into your soul and scare the absolute crap out of you! What a time we had 😄

Well as promised at the end of the last post, there was indeed yet another trip to the Netherlands with, guess who!, Sarah to visit one of her high school friends who’s studying in a town called Leiden. This trip was especially fun because after buying my train and bus tickets to get there, we were informed that, contrary to what had been said before, there wouldn’t be room enough for me to stay at her friends house, unless I wanted to sleep on the couch... that was in the kitchen.

Activate: panic mode.

It was entirely out of budget to rent an Airbnb or find a hostel (and there surprisingly weren’t any in Leiden anyway), so I decided to tryout Couchsurfing after hearing success stories from a few friends here and there. For those who don’t know what that is, it’s basically free Airbnb, except you could literally be sleeping on someones couch and people usually only stay for a few days—I definitely didn’t know that last part. After many denials—most likely because I was staying for an entire week, and the week before Christmas—someone said they’d let me stay with them. I tried my best to find one that offered a room or at least a pull out couch, but alas alack, I was unsuccessful in this endeavor. That being said, my host, Christiaan, was incredibly sweet and we got along really well!

The town of Leiden is small and mostly a college town, and, like most European towns/cities/everything, was adorable. Sarah, her friend and I walked around the town and absorbed the Dutch culture and were also very abruptly and rudely reminded that we had become incredibly accustomed to the warm weather that graces the south of France, and consequently almost froze to death in the Netherlands.

I have to say, of all my trips to the Netherlands, this was definitely the chillest one I’ve had. Sarah and I were counting our pennies and only went to Amsterdam twice to avoid having to pay the train fare. Looking back, I guess I’m surprised I didn’t try to go more often, but at the same time, it was entirely too cold to be meandering around somewhere that’s also just FULL of tourists. #pass. We of course enjoyed ourselves when we did go, though. She took me to a place called the Foodhallen, which was basically like a food court you find at the mall, except the only shopping to be done was for food of literally any cuisine. French, Italian, tapas, Chinese, Japanese, you name it, they had it. And let me tell y’all, trying to pinch pennies at this place just SO DIFFICULT. Sarah and I wandered around for a while trying to decide what to eat before we realized we would literally eat at any of the places there, and when we did finally get food and sit down to eat it, it was just...so so so so so good. Painfully good, even. But anyway, when we weren’t stuffing our faces full of food in Amsterdam, we spent most of the time either wandering around Leiden, sleeping or just sitting and doing nothing. All things that make up an ideal vacation if I do say so myself.

To shake things up, though, I made a trip to Rotterdam to visit some friends I had made over the summer while I was working with the Experiment Abroad. It was absolutely amazing to see my friends again, and even better, I was asked to be apart of their gay youth center’s—The Hangout010—drag show. It was, of course, a blast! Beyond making Christiaan think some random woman had broken into his apartment and making heads turn left and right as I walked to and from the train stations in full drag face, it was so much fun to be in such a welcoming and accepting community. Not that Nîmes is homophobic or anything of the sort, but to be somewhere where I knew the things I loved were loved by everyone around me was so comforting. For the drag show, I did my own rendition Aretha Franklin’s rendition of “Don’t Play That Song,” and I think it went pretty well! Fingers crossed for more Aevyn appearances in the future!

So after a week or so, I headed back to Nîmes while Sarah stayed with her friend for another week or so. Overall, I’d say it was a fun trip! The only potential downfall was that Christiaan, being Dutch, was much more acclimated to the cold weather, and therefore left his apartment just a little...frigid. But then again, I guess it made it much easier to deal with the cold weather when I went outside. #giveandtake

Also worth noting about this trip to the Netherlands, in true Nigel fashion, I quite literally nearly peed myself on the bus from Paris to Amsterdam as I was daydreaming while looking out the window. Somehow, I was so lost in my thoughts that I failed to notice we had been driving along side the TGV line for about 20 minutes. So, when the TGV went flying by, I just had not mentally prepared at all and very audibly gasped, much to the surprise of the person sitting in front of me... oops. But of course that memory will be forever burned into my memory 😍 #triphighlights

Anyway, after spending about 10 hours at home, I got on another train to meet the family in Nice! I was really excited for this trip because it was the first time a lot of my family had ever been to France, and for a couple, their first time to Europe! What I hadn’t thought of, however, was the fact that not one of them speaks French (not including you, Mom, you’re a francophone in training), so my translation services were constantly being called upon. While mildly irritating, it did feel nice to show my family a part of my life that they’ve never really seen before and to show them a new culture!

When I got there on Christmas day, I was met by my brother, his fiancée, my sister and her husband, and all SEVEN of their bags. Yes, they literally had 7 bags between the 4 of them. 3 of which belonged to my sister and brother-in-law alone, and took up all the space in the trunk. As well as being hilarious, it was also very comforting to see that my sister and I are still very much alike even as we get older 😂 .

Anyway, the first day of my family’s arrival was of course burden by jet lag, so Justin and Jess—the “Js” who had been living in Ireland—and I went into to town and ended up having an absolutely perfect day. There was not a cloud in the sky and the French Riviera blessed us with almost 70º weather. I was not mad about it, y’all. We walked around Vieux Nice (Old Nice) and saw the gorgeous views and parks on top of Castle Hill, sat on the rocky beach and soaked up the sunshine and perfectness, sat on a balcony at a restaurant along the Promenade des Anglais and had tapas for lunch and then rode bikes along the promenade to see the sunset, which, lemme tell ya, the French Riviera is just killing the game in terms of sunsets. Does that just not sound like the most absolutely perfect day?! It was just so ideal.

Otherwise, day trips included going to Monaco for my sisters bday which was a lot of fun and then Toulon for my bday the next day, which was kind of a bust because there’s nothing to do in Toulon, specially during the off season! But upon reflection, I decided I’d count my day with the Js (cute nickname, right?!) as my actual birthday for 2016 😂 . We ended up having a chill New Years since we couldn’t really find anywhere/be bothered to leave. We made a scrumptious dinner, drank heartily and brought in the new year with lots of love, happiness and wine! Overall, it was a very successful trip!

Fun things worth noting about Nice: my family is apparently not the best at determining how much food we need for a week, and so when it was time to leave, the fridge in the Airbnb was literally packed with food. It seemed like a problem, but it actually ended up being great for me because it meant I wouldn’t have to go grocery shopping when I got back! Woo! And even better, my parents had to drive me back to Nîmes so I didn’t look like an absolute fool trying to take all this food on the train, and they got to see my place and the town. That was surprisingly especially nice because my dad loved to see a French town that wasn’t infiltrated with tourists and tourist traps, but rather just French culture.

Also worth noting about the Nice trip (ha, see what I did there? 🙃 ) was its roads, and how the cars we rented were just entirely too big for the extremely narrow, two-way French streets. It may not seem like too big of a deal, but put it to you this way: my dad taught all three of his kids to drive (including others peoples kids, apparently!) and he learned to drive in Jamaica, on a stick shift, where they drive on the right side of the road. So like, he’s a pro, and even he was freaking out about it, with hands firmly planted at ten and two at all times. Even funnier was when both of our GPSs took us to a road that was supposed to take us into town, but instead took us to a dirt road that went off a cliff, multiple times.😂

Well that’s it for this years Christmas and bday vacation! All in all, I’d call it a very successful two weeks! Life has already gotten back to the usual flow here in Nîmes with teaching, tutoring and, of course, the everlasting search for post-TAPIF employment 🙄 . This past weekend, my housemates and I celebrated my and our friend Alec’s birthdays! That ended up being, aside from some *drama*, very successful! A lot of people ended up coming and we danced and drank the night away! #happybdaytome

As always, I love sharing these stories with y’all and am so thankful to those who make it to the end! Next up is a trip to Berlin and Hamburg (TO SEE THE WORLDS LARGEST MODEL RAILROAD *hyperventilates*) on my first solo travel trip, and probably some other fun stuff if I can afford it! Woo!

Until next time, and thanks for reading! :)

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