#outside and be among ppl as long as u wear a mask
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i think i have covid
#this shit sucks#im always so careful#i try so hard to wear a mask almost all the time#and i wash my hand so often they start bleeding in the cold#and i get covid#this is bullshit#i already feel like a burden on everyone around me#my bfs family took me in when i had no where else to go#and now i bring covid into their house#put my bf amd his brother at risk#i wish i could just die#and not feel like this#ben vents#bennitastisch#its cristmas#his family is coming to visit#and i have to sit here and wait til monday so i can call my doctor to take a pcr test#the ppl on the emergency phone for this stuff were like yea dont worry theres no restrictions from the government anymore u can walk around#outside and be among ppl as long as u wear a mask#dont worry abt the test#like this is prolly the reason i got it in the first place#i shouldnt have been studpid#yesterday i was itchy while walking home i took my jacket off and walked with my tshirt in the cold#and i did not feel cold but that prolly is what made the virus be able to get active#and i got less and less careful abt wearing a mask at school and i dont even know why#i just got more and more anxious but thats not worth it possibly putting the ppl i love in danger#i wannas screaaaaaam
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I was pretty excited when I noticed ppl not wearing masks in Olympia but the places I shop like the food coop and the local farm and garden store and where I work a local bakery are among the only places still holding on to the masks ..my landlord who owns and lives on the land we farm tries to convince me to get the vaccine all the time and we have conversations but they devolve into her yelling at me and claiming I don’t care abt ppl dying in India etc . I remain calm and speak from the heart but it still hurts and makes me feel unsafe...work and home are weird rn...im an outsider. a lot of my scientific friends have actually been the most unscientific and like rude when they can’t win an argument lash out at me and I really don’t think it’s cool ...it’s so hard to get them to consider a question or new theory, they just tell me I’m reading conspiracies ...ppl have always underestimated me, I give so much and leave plenty of room for doubt and exploration and they think that means I don’t understand things and that I’m weak but a lot of what I understand can’t be quantified or expressed in words ...I’m going deeper than they can really see, measure etc...that’s kinda the issue ppl have been taught that we live in a scientific materialist world that only matter matters but that’s not the case at all
but yeah if ppl are going to attack the unvaccinated and exclude us I won’t be going to the rave or any parties and won’t be caught without a mask on bec I’m not sure I trust you ppl..going along with this for as long as this without saying anything makes me think you’ll go along with excluding me from society and turning me in for spreading the variants or whatever . if u are too afraid to stand up for what’s right ...u cant be trusted. It’s too much of a risk for me...I don’t want to give anyone a reason...the masks went from like being annoying and virtue signaling to ok I’ll use your stupid mask to protect myself from being blamed for spreading a so called deadly virus
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