#out of touch torterra

[a-wild-torterra]

It’s so funny being out of touch with the current rotation of pop artists because I heard that Charlie xcx was really popular and I instantly dated myself by thinking “isn’t she the one featured in the song Fancy by Iggy Azelea?”

That’s literally the extent of my knowledge about her and I think it’s funnier if I keep it that way.

In other news, I have open your heart from sonic adventure stuck in my head.

[madd-nix]

I've been thinking a lot lately about allergies and the Pokemon world. I've seen various takes on it, but I like to think that if you're allergic to cats here, you'd be allergic to cat-like pokemon, allergy to dogs translates to an allergy to dog-like pokemon, an allergy to certain kinds of pollens translates to an allergy to certain kinds of pollens of plantlife on pokemon (like the plants on a Torterra or the pollen of a Roserade), etc.

Anyway, I like to put my problems on my blorbos, so Emmet gets my cat allergy. He has an inhaler and allergy meds, and anytime a trainer on the Battle Subway sends out a Purrloin or something, he puts on a face mask and gets ready to battle. Afterwards, Ingo makes sure to stop the train for a bit so that they can properly clean out the train cars, specifically the Subway Boss train car, while Emmet pops his meds and puffs his inhaler if he's feeling wheezy.

Emmet also was that kid to ignore his allergies and pet a cat pokemon anyway, so he'd go to Drayden with puffy eyes, a stuffy nose, and wheezing, and Drayden has to send him to get clean, take his meds, and set him in his room with his humidifier.

Rosie also has cat allergies (she's my oc so I can do what I want, lol). Johanna (at least in the anime) has a Glameow, so she makes sure to keep the house clean and her Glameow in its ball while inside. They let Glameow out of the ball often outside, but this way her daughter and brother-in-law don't have to deal with their allergies. This does not stop Rosie from wanting to pet her mom's pokemon though, and she does get to pet Glameow while outside as long as she takes her allergy meds beforehand, doesn't touch her face, and washes her hands afterwards. They all make it work.

Also Ingo has a shellfish allergy so he can't eat stuff like Horsea or Corphish. Cuz he doesn't get to leave this post without an allergy.

[jeweledstone]

Turtwig (Fire), Grotle (Fire), Torterra (Fire/Ice), Chimchar (Water), Monferno (Water/Psychic), Infernape (Water/Psychic), Piplup (Grass), Prinplup (Grass), and Empoleon (Grass/Electric)

Turtwax -(lvl 18)-> Meltle -(lvl 32)-> Tortarus

(Based off melting candles)

Chimfin -(lvl 14)-> Monfeejee -(lvl 36)-> Tritonape

(Based off the fiji mermaid)

Piplom -(lvl 16)-> Prinplom -(lvl 36)-> Empomelo

(Based off pomelo fruits)

Battle Info:

Turtwax, Meltle, Tortarus

^ Sp. Attack

v HP

Turtwax, Meltle

Weak to(x4): N/A

Weak to(x2): Ground, Rock, Water

Resistant to(x1/2): Bug, Steel, Fire, Grass, Ice, Fairy

Resistant to(x1/4): N/A

Immune to(x0): N/A

Tortarus

Weak to(x4): Rock

Weak to(x2): Fighting, Ground, Water

Resistant to(x1/2): Bug, Grass, Fairy

Resistant to(x1/4): Ice

Immune to(x0): N/A

Chimfin, Monfeejee, Tritonape

^ Sp. Defense

v Speed

Chimfin

Weak to(x4): N/A

Weak to(x2): Grass, Electric

Resistant to(x1/2): Steel, Fire, Water, Ice

Resistant to(x1/4): N/A

Immune to(x0): N/A

Monfeejee, Tritonape

Weak to(x4): N/A

Weak to(x2): Bug, Ghost, Grass, Electric, Dark

Resistant to(x1/2): Fighting, Steel, Fire, Water, Psychic, Ice

Resistant to(x1/4): N/A

Immune to(x0): N/A

Piplom, Prinplom, Empomelo

^ Sp. Attack

v Defense

Piplom, Prinplom

Weak to(x4): N/A

Weak to(x2): Flying, Poison, Bug, Fire, Ice

Resistant to(x1/2): Ground, Water, Grass, Electric

Resistant to(x1/4): N/A

Immune to(x0): N/A

Empomelo

Weak to(x4): N/A

Weak to(x2): Poison, Bug, Fire, Ice

Resistant to(x1/2): Steel, Water, Grass

Resistant to(x1/4): Electric

Immune to(x0): N/A

Info:

As its name suggests, Turtwax’s body is made entirely out of wax. It prefers to live in cooler environments to ensure that its body doesn’t completely melt away.

The hardened wax making up Meltle’s shell will never melt. Its cooler body temperature ensures it doesn’t melt from the heat of its own flames.

Despite the raging inferno on its back, Tortarus’s shell is ice cold to the touch. Attacks from this Pokémon leave its victims bodies covered in a mix of frostbite and burns.

Its existence long thought to be a myth, Chimfin are extraordinarily rare to find in the wild. Finding one washed ashore is rumored to be a bad omen.

While a bit slow and clumsy on land, Monfeejee make for very fast and efficient predators underwater. It has the ability to sense auras and uses it to more easily track down and ambush prey.

Tritonape are highly intelligent. They have been shown to be able to understand and, in some cases, even learn to speak human languages. However, this Pokémon tends to be highly unpredictable and can lash out violently if they feel threatened.

Piplom are known for being very stubborn and ill-tempered. It spits seeds from its beak at whomever it’s currently mad at.

A rather vain Pokémon with a sour attitude, Prinplom tend to be rather difficult to train and care for. Many trainers who raise this Pokémon have compared it to raising a spoiled human toddler.

Empomelo’s blood contains high amounts of citric acid, allowing it to easily conduct electricity, which it uses for its attacks in battle.

[vital-spirit]

OFFSCREEN POST

Milotic’s Gems

“Oh, these are perfect,” Milotic cooed as she twisted the gems around with her tail, examining the way they twinkled in the light of the setting sun. The lustrous gemstones cast her office in a marvelous golden glow and sent a twinkle in the serpent’s eye. “Diancie never disappoints.”

“Glad to hear you like ‘em,” Lucario said, keeping Bingo close to him. “Spent a good deal of time pickin’ ‘em out with Diancie to make sure I got the right ones fer ya. Now, the payment?” 

Bingo wasn’t paying the two conversing adults any mind as she was much more focused on the strange fluffy creature that was lounging upon a velvet cushion off to the side of the room, it was one of those animals Lucario had spoken about to her before, a cat– specifically, a flame point ragdoll cat though Bingo wasn’t aware of this terminology.

“Of course, of course,” Milotic gave Lucario a nonchalant wave of her tail, her gaze transfixed on the glittering gems. “You will be rewarded handsomely. I’ll have Marill hand you the payment in just a moment.” She wrapped her tail around the golden gems and dragged them into her pool, tucking them away into a small compartment hidden from view.

Bingo’s head slowly turned to face Milotic upon hearing the mention of a Marill, her nose twitching as the vague memory of the Marill she had bumped into a couple of nights before came to the forefront of her mind. What are the chances of it being the same one?

The massive door slowly swung open, revealing a serious looking Marill holding two coin pouches in their paws (one bag smaller than the other) and a recovery scarf tied around their neck. The Marill gave a respectful nod to Milotic before they approached Lucario, extending the smaller bag up towards him.

The Lillipup blinked, it was in fact the same Marill from the other night.

But Marill was not the only one to enter the room. 

Just behind them followed a hulking red serpentine mass of scales that practically had to duck to fit through the door. And now it was apparent why the doors and ceiling of the office were so high.

A Gyarados with shining crimson scales and terrifyingly large teeth towered over everyone else in the room. Her very presence seemed to chill the room.

Milotic’s wife.

Milotic’s face glittered brighter than the gems she had been cooing over earlier. She practically leapt out of the pool to meet the Gyarados with a loving grin, splashing Lucario in the process. “Darling!” she greeted, touching her forehead to theirs.

The Gyarados hummed softly, the sound reverberating through the large office room. “Evening, my desert rose. Thought I’d stop by to say hello.” She cast a sideways glance at Lucario and Bingo. “Apologies if I have interrupted anything.”

Lucario tipped his hat politely, and shook his head. 

“No, we were just finishin’ up here, I believe. That is, unless Milotic has anything else to discuss with me.” 

“No no,” she hastily waved him away, not taking her eyes off her wife, “That will be all.” The serpents and Marill continued to quietly murmur amongst themselves.

But not too quietly for Bingo to hear.

“This here’s the payment from Mr. Torterra,” The Marill lifted the bag for Milotic to see, keeping their voice down, “Mr. Remoraid noted that it’s sixty-nine hundred thousand. We went ahead n’ counted, it’s all there, ma’am.”

Bingo paused. Mister Remoraid and Mister Torterra? They must be talking about the two in Oasis Town. And sixty-nine hundred thousand? That wasn’t right, she remembered hearing a very different number before when she was in the manor.

“Mister Remoraid..?” She piped up, looking towards the group, “From Oasis Town..?”

Three pairs of eyes turned to face the young Lillipup, each more terrifying than the last. 

“And sixty-nine hundred thousand?” She tilted her head, seemingly not deterred by their stares, “I don’t remember hearing that number, I remember hearing Mister Remoraid talkin’ about something along the lines of an even seven hundred thousand, no sixty-nine hundred thousand.”

Lucario turns to look at Bingo and blinks. What? “And where did ya hear that?” 

“In the manor,” the Lillipup tilted her chin up to look at Lucario, “He was in one of the rooms without a door, I was walkin’ around and he was just talkin’ to himself while countin’ money.”

“Remoraid tends to do that,” Marill scowled.

Milotic and Gyarados exchanged wordless glances with one another, a dangerous expression shared between them. 

Silently, Milotic slithered around her wife to stand before Bingo at full height, her tall frame casting a shadow over the Lillipup as she cocked her head with narrowed eyes.

Nevertheless, a proud smile graced her face.

“Very interesting, little Lillipup,” she purred. Behind her, Gyarados growled low in her throat. “Do tell more.”

“There ain’t much else to say if I’m honest..” Bingo’s nose twitched as she stared up at the tall Pokemon before her, “Though I do believe I remember Mister Remoraid putting the money into two separate coin bags.”

“Now Lillipup, you promise you ain’t lyin’ about none of this?” Lucario raises an eyebrow.

She cocked a brow in return, “What reason do I got to lie about this? I saw what I saw and I heard what I heard and that is my word.”

For a long, agonizing moment, the room was silent. Milotic’s gaze seemed to bore into Bingo, as if studying her for any hint of doubt or deceit. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Milotic cast a glance towards Gyarados and flicked her tail with agitation. Her wife only nodded in response.

And in an instant, Milotic’s demeanor suddenly changed. She craned her neck down to meet Bingo at eye-level with a warm smile, patting the Lillipup’s head with her fanned tail. “Thank you for bringing this to my attention, dear Lillipup. Now that you’ve brought this matter to light, we can have this situation dealt with.”

She turned to Marill with a sickeningly sweet voice, “Marill? Take our little friend here outside for a moment?” Milotic retreated into her pool for a second, resurfacing with a different, but still decently large bag. “And Lillipup?” 

“Yes, ma’am?” She tilted her head.

Milotic beamed as she set the bag down in front of her, the sound of coins clinking as it hit the floor. “Get yourself something nice. My treat.”

“Oh! That’s not necessary, ma’am!” The young Lillipup replied hastily. 

Gyarados hummed with a smile, nodding at her, “We insist, little one.”

“Uh..” She threw an unsure glance up towards Lucario.

Lucario is visibly shocked, but nods his head. “We appreciate the generosity, right, Lillipup? Thank Milotic for the nice gift.” 

Bingo looked back at the serpentine Pokemon with a small nod, “Thank you, Miss Milotic.”

“No no,” Milotic waved her tail dismissively with a smile. “Thank you.”

Gyarados turned to Marill, “Take Lillipup out to the hall, would you?” She cast a glance at Lucario as she spoke. “I believe the two of us would like to discuss with Lucario for a moment.”

Marill gave a sharp nod, heading towards the door and gesturing for the Lillipup to follow after them. Bingo hesitates for a moment before following after them, disappearing through the door and down the hall.

And once the two had left the room, Gyarados closed the door behind them.

Scene Ends.

[kokorowoutsu]

-- Terafest ‘23: Booth Info

During the festival, Grusha will be hosting an Adoption Booth. The pokemon are all your average everyday pokemon outside one thing: they’re exposed to Fae or Fairfolk energy. The best way to describe Fae-touched is the following, an excerpt from my Fae Lore post;

If you’re exposed to one of the Pureblood Fae, or the Fae Circle, you’re likely to become Fae-Touched. Those that are truly fae-touched are fairy-type pokemon or those that appear to be fairy-type pokemon. Any pokemon can get this treatment but its harder for steel-types and poison-types and easier for ghost, psychic, and dark-types, or pokemon that are recorded to be close to the line between worlds. Fae-touched last depending on how long they live in the Fae Circle.

One that eventually becomes a full Fae-Touched will, for example, if a Torterra were to become a Fae-Touched, keep either its Grass or Ground typing but gain a permanent Fairy-typing. They would begin to think more like the fae and in doing this, its a mentality of ��you do right by me, i do right by you’… and if you do wrong by them… well, the stories are there for cautionary reasons.

The rest can be read here.

( DISCLAIMER: Grusha  is all but ‘human’ in this festival and is just here to vibe and his pokemon are normal as well outside his variant Mightyena, well, which is a variant. Grusha is also not a Fae in canon, he is something else entirely but close enough for those curious. The pokemon themselves are the only thing abnormal. Also, The pokemon themselves will be listed in a secondary post at a later date closer to the festival due to writer not feeling well when writing this post. This is merely an information post. )

Grusha knows that they are Fae-Touched but sees nothing wrong with adopting them out. He’s curious to see what will happen, actually. When the time comes, RNG stuff will be rolled to determine what kind of pokemon are available and how many since this all ties into Grandcrest Ranch making sure the last of the pokemon that are owned and couldn’t be rehomed beforehand get good homes. These pokemon are mostly trained, evolved, and battle-ready outside a few exceptions and likely will come with suggested nicknames but are not necessary.

You’ll find Grusha sitting at the booth when he’s not perusing himself with his variant Mightyena partner, Togo, at his side as well as his Weavile, Lolair, on standby to help out. You are welcome to mention these two pokemon in the post. Togo has a quiet personality unless provoked and Lolair is a lot more timid then most Weavile, but he’s friendly to those that are friendly to him. Grusha will likely be bored in most posts but will perk up if its a Paldean Co-Worker that he knows. He is partial to Rika and Ryme for personal reasons, and if a Geeta shows up, note there will be some alarm from his pokemon first and some fear from him. Feel free to play around with these but within reason !!

Now what happens ICly when you get one of these pokemon? Well, they act like fae depending on the percentage bar that comes with the pokemon itself. Over time depending on the dice roll, they will become normal pokemon but the higher it goes, the more feral they become. It will be a give and take relationship regardless of how skilled the trainer is. A video showing what possibly could happen as well as an explanation of ‘neighbors’ or ‘fairfolk’ will be linked from The Ancient Magus Bride which my blog is primarily based on.

How does this play into roleplay? The Fae Gauge. 

0-20% - Likely to not act like a fae and simply just have simply be 'quirky' as one would call it. They'll fade out of things fast and be normal soon enough. No need to roll.

21-50% - Likely to cause issues for their trainer depending on how much. They're starting to get into a fae nature and might turn feral depending on how severe the situation. Might take a couple of months to be 'normal'. Up to you on rolling for gauge to go down.

51-79% - Same as above but it happens much more frequently. Dice roll one in ten recommended in situations. One in five is a no to feral reaction, five to ten is a yes. Will take at least a year or two to be normal. Roll for gauge to go down.

80-99% - Will act almost exactly like a fae and the video should be viewed and taken into account. Will take closer to five years to be normal. Roll for gauge to go down.

100% - A pokemon that's appears normal but is absolutely a Fae. Will be labeled for your knowledge as a writer on typing that's being substituted. Physical changes may be noticed. A bond must be built for them to fully listen and care must be taken. Will never be 'normal'.

Lastly, i’m not expecting many, but I do hope you guys enjoy these pokemon and find something for them. Thanks for the read! Also I HIGHLY RECOMMEND clicking the video if you are remotely interested in this blog, this booth, and the concept. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PjqOJs985UU&ab_channel=CrunchyrollCollection

A last minute addition from the Lady of Grandcrest Ranch (Morgan, OC, not attending but owns the ranch responsible for these pokemon... technically); ‘After the adoption, the pokemon is firmly in the new trainer’s care. If something happens, Grusha nor anyone at Grandcrest Ranch are liable for what happens if you do piss off the fae. This video above shows three examples of treating the fae-touched pokemon with respect, with them showing an affinity for the person, or if you treat them wrong. You have been warned.’

@terafest​

[ohthehypocrisy]

Chandelure for Pokemon Unite! (obsolete draft)

Chandelure is officially in Pokemon Unite!

Having been released today, Chandelure comes onto the scene as another ranged Attacker. However, it is the 3rd Pokemon added to Unite hailing from Gen 5, giving Zoroark and Crustle some much needed company.

Now, I could take an in-depth look at its moves and potential, but that’s for me to experience when I boot up the game later today. Instead, what I’m going to do is reveal to all of you the original draft I had in mind for my own version of Chandelure in Pokemon Unite.

With how popular some pokemon are, it was bound to happen that a moveset I’ve had sitting in my draft would become obsolete with the official game putting in the pokemon proper. And so, for the first time, here’s the original draft of Chandelure for Pokemon Unite!

Since this is my first time doing one of these posts, here’s something to keep in mind as you read along The entirety of the original draft will be italicized, but I will be explaining my thoughts in bold.

I also will not be comparing the draft to the official moveset, as the draft could have changed at any point during the project, so there’s no reason for me to go over what I probably would have changed. In fact, my Torterra post was going to be an All-Rounder until I changed it to a Defender at the last minute, which just goes to show how much a moveset can fluctuate before I even publish the post.

One last thing. I was in fact going to make Chandelure an Attacker given its stats. I usually have the screencaps of the BST ready when it’s time to post, so I don’t have an easy image for you to look at. Just go to Smogon and check out its BST and movepool.

-

Basic Attack - Ranged/Sp. Atk

Becomes a boosted attack after three hits. The boosted attack launches a fireball that leaves behind a flaming wisp. The wisp explodes and deals damage to enemies that touch it.

I hate having Basic Attacks that don’t do anything. They have to synergize with the pokemon’s whole moveset and contribute to the pokemon’s ability to deal damage. Since all ranged basic attacks are homing, this makes the boosted basic attack deal damage a total of two times. By leaving a volatile wisp on the ground after dealing damage, it zones out the enemy and forces a retreat. This is why the basic attack was planned to become boosted after 3 hits instead of 2.

With X Attack and a bunch of Red emblems, Chandelure was going to cover the enemy’s territory with explosive fire balls and create an offensive push for itself and its team. Only Bulky All-Rounders and Defenders would have the ability to push back, which would have limited Chandelure’s effectiveness. A reliable Supporter that could heal could also stifle your push, which would’ve made Chandelure a difficult but not impossible pokemon to fend off with good teammates.

Ability: Flash Fire

When the pokemon collects the flaming wisp left behind by its moves and basic attacks, the power of those attacks deal more damage. If the moves are on cooldown, it reduces the cooldown by 0.5 seconds.

While the official Chandelure release uses Infiltrator, I wanted to go with Flash Fire and make it a sort of power up ability that combos with its moves and basic attacks. The flaming wisps left behind by your basic attack are meant to explode when enemies get near, but you could also consume them to power up your moves. 

The way this was planned to work was that, by walking over the flaming wisps, your moves would get powered up, which would show up on the HUD with a wisp counter hovering over your Move Icons. The higher the counter, the more damage you would deal if the move was used. This meant that you had to build up a bit of a reserve to deal high damage, but that was how I was planning to balance out something with base 145 Sp. Attack.

Alternatively, if the move was on cooldown, consuming a wisp would have the cooldown of the move reduced by 0.5 seconds. Since a move can produce flaming wisps that could be consumed immediately afterwards, you can drastically manipulate the cooldown of your moves very easily, although you would sacrifice a lot of power to keep that firepower up. This is where the other half of the skill coin would come into play, as Chandelure as I’ve built it wasn’t going to be very agile, meaning you couldn’t rely on either strategy to get the most damage out of your gameplay. 

Move 1: Confuse Ray

The pokemon casts a wary light from its flame, damaging enemies and forcing them to move away. 9s cooldown.

Confuse Ray as a starting move was meant to make it easier for Litwick to farm and steal EXP from its enemies. It blasted enemies with light that would force them to walk in the opposite direction, but it only had 9 seconds of cooldown to work with. This means that, when you use it to steal farm or to make a retreat, you cannot afford to miss.

I also hadn’t yet worked out the specifics of Confuse Ray’s ability to incapacitate the enemy. No specs or numbers, that was all going to be worked out when it was time to finalize the draft.

Move 2: Will-o-wisp

Three fire balls are launched as one projectile, dealing damage to an enemy. On hit, three wisps are left behind on the ground. 5s cooldown.

By working together with Flash Fire, Will-O-Wisp would launch and drop 3 fire balls to hit the enemy with and for you to consume later on. If the hit was close enough, you could eat all three wisps and reduce the cooldown of Will-O-Wisp itself down by 1.5 seconds, making it an extremely fast move to use.

Since you have two moves, the effects of Flash Fire would work on both of them, even if one were to be on cooldown and the other could then be powered up. This makes those little fire balls extremely important to your playstyle, which is also what the player learns right away as they try to optimize their early game as Litwick.

Move 1a: Shadow Ball

The pokemon launches a black orb that reduces the defense of all enemies on hit as well as forcing them to move in the direction of the attack. 8s cooldown.

This is one of those moves that was going to be fleshed out when the draft was going to be finalized. It started out as a direct upgrade to Confuse Ray, but was then going to gain additional effects. Alternatively, if I had the precise hindrance effects of Confuse Ray down pat, Shadow Ball was going to be a much more extreme version of that move. Probably something to the effects of, walk away for 3 seconds or something like that.

This happens sometimes, when I’m working on a draft and one move option is just straight up better than the other. I try to avoid it, but some of my movesets end up having this anyway. Then again, this happens in Pokemon Unite as well, so it’s not a dealbreaker for anyone, as far as I’m concerned.

Move 1b: Poltergeist

The pokemon throws a chain into the air in the designated direction. The pokemon then moves to that area and floats in the air. While floating, the pokemon cannot be damaged or targeted by attacks. The pokemon can attack by using its basic attack, which are always boosted, and with its moves. When the move ends, the pokemon falls to the ground, dealing damage with a shock wave upon landing. 9.5s cooldown.

Since all pokemon have differing physiology, some of them use moves in drastically different ways than others. You know, like how Blastoise used to use its cannons to fire two pumps of water instead of one, which was only a visual difference but it was still cool as heck.

I employed that same method to Chandelure since I wanted to bring out the pokemon’s personality and unique characteristics through its moves. It would possess an actual chandelier and start throwing fire wisps in the area all around it. It was also completely invincible while it was doing this, so the only way to deal with Chandelure was to just run away or take a detour. 

Yeah, compared to Shadow Ball, this was going to be a much more effective move. Both of these moves operate as upgrades to Confuse Ray so the idea was to grant Chandelure some way to escape damage with its moves while also maintaining some offensive pressure. If I had worked on this draft some more, Shadow Ball would’ve been a keep away projectile while this move had you zone off an area with your reckless fire bombs being thrown everywhere. But hey, since Chandelure is an official pokemon in Unite now, I can reuse this idea for another contender.

Move 2a: Inferno

A ring of wisps forms at the designated area. When the ring completes, a massive pillar of fire erupts, dealing massive damage to any enemy caught in the attack. 10s cooldown.

First off, I don’t usually do upgrades until I start working more on the draft. I try to build a cohesive moveset before I start figuring out how an upgrade would improve the pokemon’s potential. That’s why none of these moves have any upgrades listed, they were going to be written once the post was going to be finalized. 

Inferno and Overheat exemplify Chandelure’s terrifyingly high Sp. Attack by not only threatening with high damage, but also what you’re able to follow up with. Inferno has a bit of a delay as the move had to generate the fire wisps first. If the enemy reacts fast enough, they can actually dash out of the area of damage before the attack is launched. What gets left behind, though, is a full ring of wisps that you can then consume to activate Flash Fire. This would reduce the cooldown of Inferno itself and power up your other move if it’s available. It sort of gives Chandelure a pseudo Defender role, but truth be told, any Attacker can be a Defender if you hit so hard the enemy would do everything they can to avoid being hit.

Move 2b: Overheat

A powerful concentration of fire is launched in the designated direction. On hit with an enemy or wall, the projectile explodes into an eruption of fire, damaging all enemies caught in the explosion and throwing a random numbers of wisps everywhere. 11s cooldown.

Inferno operates with inspiration from its extremely low accuracy as a move. The high delay is meant to benefit you no matter if the enemy is damaged greatly by the move or moves far away enough where you can then consume the fire wisps and power yourself up. Overheat is a much more accurate version of Inferno where you aim and fire and, even if you were to miss, the explosion leaves behind many wisps for you to consume or for the enemy to trip and damage themselves with.

Inferno was going to produce more wisps for you to consume, but Overheat provides immediate power and covers a wide range, which is why it has more cooldown and produces less wisps. While both moves are similar, both have their own advantages and faults to consider when choosing. One isn’t any better than the other, and requires careful thinking in order to be most effective against the composition of the opposing team.

I like making balanced moves like this, which makes it all the more fun to visual playing this specific moveset in Unite, which is why I’ve been running this series for as long as I have. That said, I cannot harp on the Pokemon Unite devs for their own version of Chandelure, as it’s really up to them on what pokemon to add and what moves they run. If I could make my own game, I would. But I can’t which is why I do this instead.

Unite Move: Burn Out Blast

The pokemon’s body starts glowing and the flames in its body and the flaming wisps starts glowing brightly. Inferno or Overheat have their cooldowns reset and have their cooldowns halved on use, and the pokemon’s basic attack becomes boosted for the duration of the move. At the end, or when the move is used again, the pokemon reels back and launches an intense beam of fire directly forward, greatly damaging any enemy caught in the attack. The damage of this beam increases the more wisps were collected to power up Flash Fire.

This crazy idea of a Unite Move was basically meant to kick Flash Fire into overdrive. It takes everything you know about Flash Fire power management and tests you on the spot, as the best way to maximize Burn Out Blast’s damage output was to collect wisps as if it were Easter Sunday.

With the cooldown of Overheat and Inferno reset and halved upon use as well as your basic attack becoming boosted for the duration of the Unite Move, I was probably going to go overboard with this buff. Yeah, Burn Out Blast turns you into a walking incinerator, but you don’t get any defensive boosts barring Buddy Barrier and Chandelure has no Sustain or mobility options to avoid taking excessive damage, which is how I was hoping the Unite Move was going to be balanced out. Also, if you wiped out the enemy team, you’d be very disappointed that they were all gone when it comes time to launch the final laser blast.

Speaking of which, I’m not surprised that I was kind of close with this Unite Move compared to the official one. If you haven’t noticed, a lot of Pokemon Unite’s animations recycles certain motions from Pokken Tournament, which Chandelure was in. It’s most noticeable when playing Garchomp, as they like to save time and money on models whenever they can. I kind of had the same idea, with moves like Poltergeist and Overheat looking really similar in my head.

-

One last thing to note, Holowear and Strategy are written up after the draft is finalized, which is why there’s nothing here at the end of the post. If I had gone far enough to make Holowear, I’d have come up with stuff like Spooky Style or Punk Style or even Aeronaught Style. 

Also, if you’re wondering why I’ve always included Holowear in every post, it’s because I believe Pokemon Unite should get most of its income from Holowear and not from short limiting the releases of brand new Licenses when a new pokemon drops. In fact, I think Pokemon should be free, because that’s how you get people to play these new pokemon enough that they can be tested and enjoyed by everyone. I understand limiting the release to keep noobs from ruining Ranked with a brand new pokemon they don’t know how to play, and I like that they have started giving out rentals for these new releases so that we can screw up Quick Battles to no consequence.

But if Pokemon Unite wants our money, it has to be for things that we actually want, which is the ability to express ourselves as we see fit. The money it cost to put in a pokemon into Unite can be offset by having loads of Holowear available to buy right away upon release. If you have enough pokemon available, you can start investing in sets. If I wasn’t so put-off from spending money, I’d love to buy the entire Chef set for all the pokemon that has the Holowear available to them, but some people can’t because you aren’t allowed to buy Holowear for Licenses you don’t own.

Just my two cents.

-

That about does it for the post. I mentioned in a previous post that some pokemon were leaked, 2 of which were sitting in my drafts. Well, Chandelure was one, and if you’ve been keeping up with the news of leaks, you’d know who the other one is, but I’d like to keep this blog spoiler friendly until the announcement is official.

For now, just stick around and enjoy my polls until Season 3 starts, which is pretty far away. Just have patience.

See ya later.

[weekdayholidaybot]

Current list of holidays:

Monday:

lets get it on cunts monday

me gongaga monday

el muchacho monday

maneater monday

eel eonday

manwhore monday

marx beam monday

monday night taco night

moray eel monday

primal bog monday

david bowie reminds you what day it is

mad dog monday

Tuesday:

chikorita chuesday

touch grass tuesday

big challenges tuesday

leave the bog tuesday

no problem tuesday

me gustas tu tuesday

funky fellow tuesday

tuck him in tuesday

two beds tuesday

cum and die tuesday

sweet fat of the hog tuesday

torterra tuesday

twelve bricks tuesday

karateka tuesday

trolley tuesday

the machinery of capitalism rolls onward

hedgehog stewsday

this thing tuesday

it's tuesday

Wednesday:

one bad gloop wednesday

gator wednesday

bigweld wednesday

wizard wednesday

gay wizard wednesday

wet beast wednesday

werewolf wednesday

werewolf transgenderism wednesday

wet fish wednesday

el woowoo wednesday

autism win wednesday

waddle wednesay

happy wednesday :-)

wednesday night mood

hole wednesday

Sparkle on! It‘s wednesday! Don‘t forget to be yourself!

wobbegong wednesday

well pay the man wednesday

Thursday:

out of touch thursday

three rat thursday

fire gator thursday

thirsty thursday

blargle blursday

throw yourself in the river thursday

ska cha cha thursday

duck thursday

feliz jueves

we put the they in them thursday

hole thursday

autistic girl thursday

video that sounds like arceus

Friday:

flatworm friday

flat fuck friday

fat fuck friday

trans gender its friday

penis friday

fat cock friday

big dumb idiot baby apple fight friday

it‘s-friday.avi

electric feel friday

chicago quiznos coyote friday

have a hog wild weekend

mudskipper motherfuckerday

drifloon friday

get down on it friday

Friday!

feral crab friday

funny fish friday

talking heads kermit friday

friday night

fat tail friday

foxgirl friday

elephant's foot friday

thank god it's cardcaptor sakura friday

Saturday:

sea slug saturday

saturday shorts

sfw sasuke saturday

stonehenge saturday

snail snack saturday

saturday night wild hunt

bacon pancakes state of mind saturday

steely dan saturday

lily sever the skyline saturday

squeaking saturday

Sunday:

sea slug sunday

fingers in his ass sunday

safe for work sunday

shifty shrimp sunday

shawty like a melody sunday

energy sword sunday

binky fish sunday

radical saturday

tomato sunday

suck her dick sunday

stupid fucking slut sunday

Stroganoff Sunday

Special Holidays:

neil banging out the tunes day / Homestuck day

none pizza with left beef anniversary

november 5th

october 3rd

ides of march

josh fight

hershey manhunt

dashcon anniversary

thursday the 20th

[ferahntics]

Sinnoh Starter Headcanons

I have Sinnoh starter brainworms so here we go, Turtwig, Chimchar and Piplup headcanons, their evolutions included!

You know the drill, under the cut!

Turtwig

Turtwig are natural pacifists, and this is a trait that is further emphasized as they evolve. Because of this, many Pokemon make nests in Grotle and Torterra’s backs, and they welcome it wholeheartedly. With Torterra however, as much as they avoid conflict, they don’t have a long fuse either - if one of the Pokemon nick a sensitive spot on their backs, it can earn them a nasty growl back.

That being said, Turtwig are very anxious about exposing their undersides. Similar to most animals in real life, the stomach is a very vulnerable spot, and if they get knocked on their backs, it can get them to panic. Ironically, this doesn’t happen in scuffles exclusively. Their stubby legs make them clumsy, so sometimes they knock themselves over on their backs and get stuck. But if they’re in a group, the other Turtwig will gather together to help them get back on their legs.

Their health can be determined based on the soil of their shells and the leaves on their heads. If the soil is dry, or maybe even cracked, this is a very tell-tale sign of dehydration - maybe even a fever. If their soil is moist to the touch, that’s a classic flu-like symptom for them, or some other illness. They also require sunlight to channel their photosynthesis - this is quite essential to their well-being!

Should anyone get lost in the forests where they dwell, they will most likely help guide the lost soul back out - they’re aware of their surroundings and can find themselves out of the thickest woodlands.

Chimchar

These Pokemon are physically incapable of sitting still. They are absolute children and will cause chaos out of pure and utter entertainment. However, if they do break something, or if they spot their trainers being upset, they’ll regret it immediately and will try to make up for it with small gestures, like giving berries.

And on the topic of berries, these little guys can be gluttonous. Not to the extent of Skwovet or Greedent, but still - they have quite the appetite, and many have got a major sweet tooth. And as they evolve, that craving gets worse, so be prepared to cook loads of food as they’re guaranteed to want seconds, especially as Infernape.

They love a challenge and will rarely back out of one, but don’t confuse this for being violent. Despite the vicious appearance Infernape have, they’re very calm Pokemon and love company of others, even themselves they form in groups. If they find a Pokemon struggling, the Infernape are quite likely gonna protect them or maybe even adopt if they’re in big danger.

Like most Fire-type Pokemon, they are very much in touch with their emotions, displayed by the flame they have. And similarly, they can regulate the heat of them so they’re able to give physical affection with zero issues.

Piplup

In terms of aesthetics, you’ve met your match with Piplup and its evolution line. They take pride in their appearance, their status and their display of strength, so sometimes they can show off in a fight - or they can make prime contest challengers for coordinators. 

Now their pride can blind them, and may make them just a tad-bit overconfident so reckless charging is a given. And they also tend to bite more than they can chew and set unrealistic expectations for themselves - and once they inevitably fail, they beat themselves up about it very harshly. Try to give them all the support they need, because as they become Empoleon, this habit gets more intense - so reassure them it doesn’t affect their worth at all and need to take this more slowly and step-by-step - rather than do a direct penguin slide into challenges.

They hate the heat with a passion and can get quite whiny regarding it.  If you have a pool or a cellar, expect them to be cooped up in there, they’ll do whatever to keep cool - and if you have ice cream anywhere, it will be demolished without a single scrap left.

Empoleon tend to grow out of this pettiness, but still keep their pride in tact. Though they’re less likely to charge head-first into trouble like Piplup just because something looked at it funny, they’re still very much ticked if they spot something that bothers them. They can also take it upon themselves to keep their trainers’ appearance top-notch and will help preen any loose hair strands - though beware, some know how to be gentle. Others? Not so much, so. Ow.

[prof-peach]

Hello professor, ive been looking into taking on a sawsbuck as a business companion, i make tea from certain grass type’s shed dry leaves and flowers, and i was wondering a few things. Where does sawsbuck lie in the grass type classification? Are they normal type pokemon with a parasitic feature like parasect? Are they normal grass hybrids that feature both the animal and plants as one being like tortera? Or are they full on grass pokemon that evolved to look like normal types like nuzleaf? Also the only species ive seen are the cherry blossom verity, what other kinds of floral species can i look into?

Sawsbuck is an interesting one, technically they're more like a Torterra in that their body is host to a tree, the seed of which is lodged in their brain upon birth/hatchig. Some actually do not receive a seed, and are pure normal types! but it is quite unusual a defect in the species. The seed once the pokemon evolves, sends its roots far down into the brain and through the spinal column, right to the tip of their tails. They do not need to root like an average grass type, as they already are constantly rooted into the pokemon's body itself. If its host is healthy, exercised, and fed well, so are the plants that adorn its head. The foliage is a good signal that you have a strong partner, if they're full and healthy in colour, and quick to adapt to each changing season, then odds are they're ok. You could call it parasitic, but your information on Parasect is off a touch, they're technically Symbiotic. The fungi that hosts within that pokemon aids it, and keeps it healthy and hardy, giving back sugars and nutrients the original pokemon needs but cannot produce without its mushroom infested bod. Just like Parasect, Sawsbuck needs its tree core partially for camouflage, but also to photosynthesise when they have a lack of solid foods available. When Sawsbuck fall on hard times, their foliage will provide them with energy, and in extreme conditions, they shed and consume their own antlers, to survive terrible conditions. It is unusual for a grass type to not need to root, and thats why it's primarily a normal type, capable of surviving fine without its tree, without the grass aspect, and without its antlers. We occasionally see members of the species who's trees have rotted and died out, and should they survive this process, they go on to live just fine so long as they have enough food and water. Normal type pokemon are notoriously adaptive, its why Sawsbuck are classified as Normal firstly in their type hierarchy. Their classification is actually debated quite a lot, they do not produce seeds like most grass types can, and cannot reproduce this way, and they do not root, and yet they synthesise and benefit from their host plant matter, and often survive thanks to the trees they sprout when left alone in the wild. I suppose it's a topic to question but regardless of how we categorise them, it doesn't really matter. They're good partners, and can provide a whole host of useful medicine from their variants. A pure breed Sawsbuck however isn't all that good for tea brewing. If you want a strong packmule/mount with tasty tealeaves, I'd suggest a Gogoat. They are very durable, and have great empathy for peoples needs. in regards to Variants of Sawsbuck that may suit your needs, search for a 'Camellia sinensis' Variant, a species of tree that is good for tea, or perhaps an Eastern white pine variant, not known for its flowers, but certainly can brew a good cup or two! Theres Sassafras variants too, but they're a bit more uncommon to find. I suppose you could look for a Willow variant or two, the bark they shed can be treated so you can use it as a drink but BOY, it's a bit of a longwinded process. Hope you feel a bit more informed, theres plenty of others but they're uncommon to find, let alone tame. Some variants are more fiery than others.

[ticket-for-four]

Preview: Chapter 6 ⨷

At least half done putting the next chapter together, though I feel it's still going to take a hot minute. In the meantime, here's a little snippet with some other characters getting introduced, enjoy!

---

Cynthia could spot the large group gathered at the ruined temple's grounds before even touching down there herself. The familiar bulky shapes of some of the children's partners coming into view eased the building tension in her chest, if only slightly. They all seemed to huddle around each other in a grand circle; Staraptor and Empoleon skirted the edges, her eyes trailed further to the center as she neared them, noting some of the larger figures as Dusknoir, Infernape, Togekiss, Floatzel, Vespiquen, and then Snorlax looming over Torterra and-

Oh.

Just as she dismounted her own Togekiss, she took in Barry's distressed state; kneeled, arms clinging to and cradling the head of the champion's Torterra, his head hidden in the crevice of her neck and hands attempting to soothingly rub the wailing turtle's face. Actually, all of the twin's partners appeared just as hurt and mournful. Pachirisu glued herself to one of Barry's legs, the other being occupied by Roserade. Chimecho and Magnezone seemed to be the only ones to acknowledge the new arrival, turning to Cynthia with hushed hums.

She gnawed at her inner cheek. She didn't like this scene, not at all. She would have to approach the matter delicately, though that was easier said than done. A few steps forward and she was at her cousin's side. The Torterra's sniffling began to lessen, though not by much, and Barry's gentle motions,  on closer inspection, looked stilted, almost robotic. In all the time she's known the boy Cynthia had never seen him so... still. Even the way he nodded, listening to the pokemon crying out to him, pleading even, the action was muted, barely noticeable. It wasn't right at all, nothing about the situation was.

"Barry."

[pokemoncreepypasta]

Bound To Cheat

[STORY SOURCE]

Author: @sammisafetypin​

Maybe it’s just me, but it’s hard to actually spend time on a regular Pokémon game.  No, no — hear me out here. I’ve been playing the games since, I dunno, Ruby and Sapphire version? I own pretty much every Pokémon game there is to own, or if I don’t have the console I’ve had it on emulator. 

They’re fun, I wouldn’t own so many if they weren’t fun. But the older I got, the more I just tended to get bored with them. It’s hard to complete a file when you know you can expect the same things in all the same places. I’d always reset my games before getting very far, and then reset again, and then just get bored. I dunno. I like the games, but sometimes it’s just hard to drum up that motivation. I mean, that’s why people do challenges and randomizers, right? It adds some spice to the whole situation. Sometimes I can’t even get through those, but I’d blame that on me having a flighty personality. 

Besides that, just glitching up the game to see how far out of bounds you can wander, or destroying half the game with a level 100 Mewtwo ... I mean, it’s a cheap laugh, but I never wanted Pokémon to get boring for me. It was upsetting to realize it was. I think that’s why it was like the holy grail when my aunt bought me a GameShark for Christmas. I had been bemoaning not having enough fun with my games, and I guess she went looking. 

Not really sure if I should thank her now, but that’s beside the point.

I was like a kid in a candy store with that thing, it was almost embarrassing. I went right to my White copy and gave myself all of the version exclusives and legendaries and shinies I so desired. You could argue that cheating just makes a game more boring, since you can just look up codes to strong-arm past any challenge, but it was still really fun. Come on, you give a Magikarp the ability to use Judgment and tell me that that’s not funny.

But, anyways. I screwed around with using my GameShark on my White copy for a while, before I ended up getting sidetracked in my usual fashion. I decided to dig around my room for other games to try out my new toy on, and it wasn’t long before I found a game I hadn’t touched in at least a year: Pokémon Pearl.

Honestly? I sorta forgot I had it at all. It had somehow gotten buried in my dresser drawer, stuck in the sleeve of an old cat sweater. I dug it out and decided, hey, what the hell — I’d see what I even had on this, because I quite frankly didn’t remember.

As it turned out, I had left off around Canalave City. My team consisted of Empoleon, Staraptor, Luxio, Graveler, Bibarel, and Glameow. 

Basic, apparently. Honestly, I didn’t even like most of these Pokemon anymore, and I guess I must have gotten stuck because their levels were all over the place. 

I couldn’t really say I had a lot of emotional attachment to this file -- looking back at my nickname choices like ‘Emo’ the Staraptor was funny, but I could have built a better team than this. 

I liked Torterra a lot better than Empoleon, too, but I didn’t feel like going through all of the early-game again with how slow Diamond and Pearl can be … and then, the genius idea hit me. 

If this save file was already over halfway done, I could fuck with it all I pleased, make some crazy ideal team, have fun blasting through things, and then reset or glitch my way to Darkrai or something like that. Harmless fun.

I grabbed my GameShark off my disaster of a desk, as well as my phone to look up codes. The first thing that I wanted to do was get a Turtwig, and then some Rare Candies. I had put in codes like these before, but never in Generation 4 games, and like hell did I remember any code note-for-note anyways. 

In my search for the Turtwig code, I was quick to find a massive list of codes that would spawn any Pokemon in the tall grass. Sick. Just what the doctor ordered. I was starting to regain my interest in this file. Something else caught my eye at the top of the list, though -- “code to make all wild encounters shiny”.

Well, hey. If there’s one piece of candy stuck to another, I’ll take it. Okay, that’s a weird way to word it, but I always liked Torterra’s shiny palette. If I could make the Turtwig shiny just as easily as I could encounter it, well, why not? 

I carefully put the codes in, and then had Staraptor fly me somewhere with lower levels. Within a few moments, I had my darling on the screen.

A girl, too! That was just the icing on the cake. 

Looking back at this picture, I can see now that the sprite looked off, but I was too enamored by the sight of shiny Turtwig to notice or care at the time. 

I caught her quickly, and nicknamed her.

Harriet the Turtwig, replacing Pingu the Empoleon on my team. Of course, not a Turtwig for very long. 

Some very tedious repetitive pressing later, I had given her more than enough Rare Candies to make her the best giant tree turtle the world had ever seen. I was giddy, what can I say?

With Harriet in tow, I decided it was high time I made some progress. I didn’t know what other Pokemon I wanted yet, so I figured I could just breeze through things with a Level 100 Torterra and figure it out as I went along. Call me a filthy casual, but it was great fun. 

I quickly tore through Iron Island, as well as Byron’s gym. Harriet was pretty slow even for a Torterra, getting regularly outsped by steel-types much lower-leveled than her even though her speed stat seemed to indicate she would be faster. That said, the level difference made it so that it was hardly a big deal. It was on to the lakes, as well as the seventh badge.

Unfortunately, Lake Acuity and Snowpoint City is when things got sorta … weird? I want to say weird. I really don’t know what word I’d use. 

But I trudged through the snow, I just want to know who ever thought that terrain in a Pokemon game was an acceptable idea, and worked on conquering the cold section of the region. It was during Candice’s gym that things got any more off than a low speed stat.

I had struggled through the puzzle after an embarrassing amount of time, and was facing off with Candice herself. Her Snover was first, and I decided I’d use Earthquake. But when I clicked it, instead of using Earthquake, I got a message I hadn’t seen before.

“Harriet took too long to attack!” 

What? Before I could figure out what that was even supposed to mean, Snover took an extra turn, chipping a small bit of HP off of Harriet. The damage hardly mattered to me, but I was caught up on Harriet just deciding to skip her turn. This hadn’t happened before, she had just been slow. And that Snover had outsped me, so what business did it have using another move in the same turn? Did it somehow think it was the next turn because Harriet didn’t do anything?

I realized I was thinking about it like the Snover could think, and tried to focus more on the message itself. ‘Harriet took too long to attack’. 

Was that some sort of status condition? I had healed before the last gym trainer or two, so that didn’t make a lot of sense, and I’d never heard of that message in response to a status condition before. I thought maybe it could be a disobedience message, though that hardly made sense either, since Harriet had listened just fine before, and nothing had changed.

Maybe she’s just cold, I thought to myself, and got a little chuckle out of it. 

Well, it wasn’t the end of the world, so I decided to stop hanging up on it. Harriet used Earthquake just fine the next turn, taking Snover out without a problem. Sneasel was the next Pokemon on the field. 

This time, I went for Crunch, and Harriet’s first attack went off without issue. The Sneasel managed to just barely survive, so I went for another Crunch that went just the same. Or, so I thought.

“Harriet is hit with recoil!” 

I stared blankly at the scree, wondering if I had somehow accidentally hit a recoil move instead. When the game asked me if I wanted to switch for Candice’s next Pokemon, I opened my moves to see if I could have somehow made that mistake, but there was no way. I didn’t even have any recoil moves on Harriet.

This was stupid. I mean, I couldn’t deny I was curious to figure out what was going on, but it was still pretty stupid. There was no reason for Harriet to be taking recoil and skipping turns. 

I sorta felt bad for her, too. She looked like she was sad about her moves acting strange. Confused, I decided to consult some of my friends about if they had ever had behavior like this in their games.

I mean, Harriet’s sprite looking a bit weird could be explained by that, but I didn’t really believe that fully coherent messages could be generated by my cheat codes screwing up. Maybe the recoil, but not Harriet ‘taking too long to attack’. 

I went back to the game and, luckily, with only a few more weird recoil and skipping incidents, I was able to muscle through Candice’s gym and get the badge.

Well, okay. No matter what was happening with Harriet, it was pretty obvious I couldn’t use just her. Her messed-up attacking would get in the way too much, and I didn’t wanna put all that strain on her. It was time that I replaced some more members on my team. 

My first idea was Rotom. It’s one of my favorites, but in Pearl, it’s locked off until you get the National Dex. Well, not anymore. I set up everything I had to, and made my way into the tall grass around Lake Acuity. 

This one was a bit harder to miss than Harriet’s expression. 

Rotom’s giant grin is probably one of my favorite parts of it, and it was a little depressing to see it look so sad. 

A Rotom was a Rotom, though, and maybe it would cheer up once I caught it and leveled it up.

...No such luck, apparently. 

Either way, I named it Alix, after a friend of mine who really loves Rotom. 

I also decided to get myself a Mismagius, who I wanted to test out impossible moves on, and a Crobat that I wanted to try and get past Level 100. 

It seemed I had screwed this file already, so why not have fun with seeing what I could pull off? Then I could have some fun beating what was left of the story. 

They both had similar, changed expressions on their faces compared to their original sprites. I didn’t really get the point of it — I’d have been willing to chalk them up to graphical errors if it weren’t for Harriet’s weird behavior. 

I decided to look at the rest of my team to see if they had changed either. The only ones remaining from my original team were Dopey the Bibarel, who I was keeping around for HMs, and Missy the Glameow, who I hadn’t really decided a replacement for yet. I did like Purugly — maybe I’d just level her up. But that's besides the point. 

Dopey just stared back at me as, well, dopily as ever. Missy’s sprite, however, I was almost certain had changed. Glameow didn’t usually look that angry, to my knowledge, but then again, Rotom never looked that exhausted either. I guess it was the fact that I had caught the rest of the Pokemon with those looks on their faces -- I was pretty sure Missy looked fine when I started up the game.

Well, I was going to try and not make a big deal out of it. I did the Lake Acuity cutscenes, and then made my way back to Veilstone to handle the next Team Galactic events. Of course, though, I wasn’t very far into their Warehouse and HQ when the game decided it was going to act up again. This time, though, it wasn’t Harriet.

“ALIX is too weak to attack!” was the very first message I got upon trying to fight a trainer with my Rotom. Great, so that meant that whatever was plaguing Harriet was affecting my other Pokemon as well. 

Was this some twisted variation of Pokerus, contagious and spreading through my team? Did somebody fuck with my game and somehow manage to slip it back into my room without a trace? 

That seemed like a really stupid theory, but I had never seen a game act like this. 

I tried again.

“ALIX is too tired for Uproar!” 

How could you be too tired with almost full HP? 

It wasn’t like I didn’t feel bad for my Rotom, but I couldn’t figure out what could be making it so exhausted. Looking things up on the internet wasn’t getting me any answers, so I tried quickly switching out for Missy and then switching back.

Then, I just kept clicking Discharge until eventually Alix used it, which was thankfully only within a turn or two. Maybe switching helped. I felt sorta bad, but I had the sneaking suspicion that my other team members were going to behave the same way. It was a blessing and a curse that I was level 100, I guessed.

It really shouldn’t have taken so long to get through a single Team Galactic grunt, but on the bright side, it was his only Pokemon. I figured that I would give Alix a break -- say what you want, but it sort of made me feel bad to make these Pokemon do successive battles when they didn’t feel well. My morbid curiosity pushed me onward, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t sympathetic towards my new friends. I may not have hand-trained them, but they were still the Pokemon I wanted on my team.

Jet was the next one I wanted to test out. I had managed to get him above level 100, and I was simultaneously curious and concerned about how he was going to act in battle. But, my mind was taken off of that when I opened the party screen. 

Alix was missing. Just, an empty slot in my party, even though I knew full well that I had a full team. Harriet now sat at the front rather than it, with no indication of where in the world it had gone. 

This was getting stupid. Pokemon didn’t just disappear, especially since Alix’s health was near-full when the battle ended. It made no sense that they would just warp out of existence like that. I mean, I suppose since I brought them in with cheat codes, there was the potential that there had been some sort of error, but that didn’t soothe my concerns. 

I marched right out of the warehouse and down to the Pokemon Center to check my PC Box.

No dice. I checked each and every box, but Alix was nowhere to be found. It was like they had never been a part of the game in the first place. Something about that made me feel very, very wrong -- I wanted my Rotom back. I couldn’t shake the feeling that something horrible had happened to them, or that they were trapped in some digital void. 

Confused, I continued to search for answers, but I was turning up nothing. My bag didn’t have any hints, nor did any of the NPCs I talked to. I made an attempt to interrogate the Galactic grunt that Alix had disappeared after fighting, but he didn’t have anything special to say. Helplessly, I scrolled through my team, wondering if maybe Alix had just gone invisible or if something else had changed.

Well, I didn’t make any progress with finding out where Alix was, but I did notice another change in my party composition.

Missy again. She was smiling at me now, eyes wide. Frankly, I think it looked more like Glameow’s standard sprite than before, but something still unnerved me. She also held a Grip Claw, which I was certain I hadn’t given to her. I stared at the Glameow, and she stared right back. It felt like I was being made fun of, but I supposed that was only in-character for the ‘Catty Pokemon’, according to Pokedex category.

I scrolled through my team a few more times, squinting for changes, but Missy’s new face and hold item were the only things that were different. Well, besides Alix going AWOL. 

Frustrated, I figured that I’d do my best to clear out the Galactic HQ, and then I’d figure out what to do with my team. Assuming nobody else would decide to flicker out of existence, I could wrangle my way to the next plot point and move on. At the least, most things fainted in one or two hits, when I actually managed to land those hits.

But that would just bring me to noticing the issues with the rest of my team.

Jet would actually attack pretty consistently, surprisingly enough. The main issue was the fact that he always, no matter what move I selected, took recoil damage. Air Slash, Cross Poison, it didn’t matter -- recoil. 

His high HP made it so that he could attack for a while before I had to heal him, though, so he was probably my best bet for a main battler. I tried to heal him whenever he went into the yellow, though. I didn’t want to risk things, somehow, getting worse.

As for Sabrina, she had just decided to not listen at all.

She didn’t move often, and when she did, it was almost always something like this. I knew of disobedient Pokemon using the wrong moves, but that was only for trades. 

And besides, there was a much more glaring issue: Sabrina didn’t know Growl. I had deleted it already. Future Sight, Nasty Plot, Shadow Ball, Cosmic Power -- that was her moveset. That was all. She had known Growl before, but there was no way she should’ve been using it. 

I wasn’t going to kid myself at this point. There was obviously something really wrong with my team, and I was determined to figure out exactly what that was. I decided to go test things out in wild battles, which I could easily run from if my Pokemon decided to completely freak out. The more I tested, though, the worse they seemed to get. Harriet had to be the worst example.

With each Pokemon I sent her out against, Harriet attacked less and less. It would take her more and more turns to finally use a move against anything, and when she did, she wasn’t even knocking them out. 

I felt my heart sink -- what had happened to my poor Torterra? Sure, I hadn’t had her with me long, but I still cared for her. It felt like she had some sort of sickness, and there was just nothing I could do about it. 

Regrettably, I decided that I wasn’t going to use Harriet anymore. It felt like no matter how many times I spammed Earthquake or Giga Drain, nothing was going to happen, and I felt bad trying to force her. 

Maybe if I got another Turtwig, that one would feel better? I didn’t want to replace Harriet or anything, but I really did want a Torterra. Though, more than anything, I just wanted to figure out what was wrong with my game. I know I said that I had a hard time sticking with Pokemon games, but this definitely had my attention in spades. 

Apologizing to my screen, I put Harriet in the PC, and turned back to my codes to get myself a new Turtwig. 

I figured I’d switch Missy up to the front of the party -- it had occurred to me that she knew Hypnosis, and with the relatively painful catch rates of starter Pokemon, I figured that would help me a lot. 

Codes in hand, I went back to the tall grass and encountered my Turtwig.

I really should’ve expected something to go wrong at that point.

The first thing I noticed were the eyes: Identical to Harriet’s back when she was a Turtwig. Then, the fact that I had managed to encounter another female one -- and then, the name clicked with me. The wild Turtwig was named Harriet.

That was the first point where I just wanted to put the game down. Turn it off, throw the cartridge back in my drawer, pretend nothing had happened. Something about the wild Turtwig having the same name as my Torterra made me feel … I don’t know, wrong. 

Even so, I felt like this was my chance to do something better for Harriet this time. What that was, I wasn’t sure, but … just, something, y’know? I know I’m not that good with words, but in the end, I decided to try and continue the battle.

I put “Harriet” to sleep with Hypnosis, and then selected Faint Attack.

The game didn’t even bother to alert me that Missy was disobeying -- it acted like I had told her to use Bind, and she had followed through. I was baffled. 

I was plenty used to my Pokemon not doing what they were told at this point, but it wasn’t like Sabrina -- as far as I knew, Missy had never known Bind. Her moves were Faint Attack, Fury Swipes, Slash, and Hypnosis. I wasn’t even sure that Glameow could learn Bind.

Anxious, I decided that I needed to catch this Turtwig before things got any more odd. Besides, I didn’t want Missy to knock it out on accident. Luckily, I had an absurd surplus of Poke Balls, so I could just throw as many balls as I wanted until I had the new addition to my team. Or, so I thought.

“Missy blocked the Poke Ball!” The game oh-so-helpfully reported to me, as if I had thrown a ball at a trainer’s Pokemon. 

This was wrong. Harriet, Alix, Jet, and Sabrina had all had their issues with attacking -- but for the most part, it seemed like they were trying to obey. If they didn’t attack, it was because they were ‘too tired’, or in Sabrina’s case, ‘misheard’ me. They looked miserable. 

Missy only stared wide-eyed at her opponent, continuing the turn without my permission. Was she doing this on purpose?

Missy used Bind again, not bothering to answer my questions of how she was using it, or why she was doing this. 

“Harriet”’s sprite flashed in response to the attack, and I noticed black lines spread across her shell. Were those cracks? Missy’s actions had been stressing me out, but it was only then that I realized she was potentially doing serious damage.

I had to get out of the battle. Forget the Turtwig, I could catch another one, or find another Pokemon to use entirely. I felt horrible for the little thing, and it was probably for the best if I separated her and Missy as quickly as I could. Clicking my Pokemon menu acted as if I hadn’t selected anything at all. 

Starting to feel absurdly sweaty for just sitting on my bed and playing Pokemon Pearl, I selected ‘Run’ and prayed.

I barely had time to register my emotions towards the ‘Can’t escape!’ message before the turn went on. I winced and hoped it wouldn’t be too ugly. 

Before Missy could attack, though, “Harriet” woke up and fought back. 

As the screen flashed, three red lines appeared across Missy’s tail -- apparently where “Harriet” bit her. I wondered if her tail was how Bind made sense in the first place. 

That said though, it was a feeble resistance: Missy’s health bar only barely dropped. I could only watch as she finished the fight without any input from me.

The cracks continued to spread across the Turtwig’s shell as its HP fell down to 0. It looked utterly miserable as its sprite dropped off the screen. 

Ugh. What had I just witnessed, and why did it feel more brutal than any Pokemon battle I’d done in the past?

As the game told me that Harriet had fainted, I noticed something flicker in the corner of the screen. 

Oh. Now she was staring at me. That was just what I needed after all of this. 

I hoped that the Harriet that was in the PC box didn’t know about what had just happened to her … whatever this other Harriet’s relation was to her.

The game faded back to the overworld as if any other normal battle had just ended. I felt like things had just gone from … well, not a zero to a one-hundred. More like a twenty to a one-hundred. But that didn’t make it any better. 

I opened my party to look at Missy -- her sprite had changed before. Maybe it had changed again. 

It had. And I was absolutely, positively, not a fan of what I was looking at. 

There was no way that I was just going to sit here and let this Glameow, whatever it was that she wanted, rip apart any more Pokemon. I wanted to know why she was doing it, but I wasn’t about to just let her go crazy on whatever she pleased. I was curious, but not that curious. Once a kids’ game starts bleeding at you, you shouldn’t keep screwing with it.

I went back to Veilstone, wondering how many times I’d have to struggle with the PC box in this city. I opened it up to move Pokemon around, and selected Missy. The original Harriet wasn’t in the box either, and that only steeled my courage to get rid of Missy before anything else went awry. As I hovered over the ‘release’ option, I mumbled to the screen, thankful that no one was around to see me talking to my game like this.

“I don’t know who you are -- what you are -- or what you want with me. I don’t know why you hurt that Turtwig. But I’m begging you to please either tell me what you want, or leave me alone. Please?”

Hoping that my prayer was heard, I selected release and confirmed that yes, I did want Missy gone. I think that Missy did, somehow, hear what I said to her.

But I don’t think she cared.

“Learn? Learn what? That I somehow put demon data in my game and screwed up my Glameow?” I snapped, shaking the DS slightly as if that would give me answers. 

I needed to calm down. It was a game. A screwed-up game, but a game. Missy couldn’t actually hurt me. I wasn't about to play with fire by keeping her on my team, but I was pretty confident in the fact that she couldn't cause me any physical harm. That was the sense of safety I held on to.

I decided that if Missy wasn’t going to leave on her own, I was just going to quarantine her. I stuck her in a random PC box, far away from all the other Pokemon.

Hopefully, she’d stay there. 

I was starting to wonder if beating the game was worth it at this rate, but I felt like I deserved a little bit of payoff for seeing my Glameow flip out in front of me. And who knew, maybe there’d be some answers at the end of the game. That was my hope, anyways.

For the rest of the Galactic HQ, I mainly used Jet. I was a little anxious to grab any more new Pokemon, and Jet was the best attacker that I had out of him and Sabrina. Alix was still gone, and I didn’t really expect Harriet to be doing any better than before, so I was just going to deal with a two-Pokemon team (well, and Dopey) until I figured out what my game plan was.

Thankfully, with Jet’s remarkably high level, I was making quick work of pretty much everything that stood in my way. None of the Galactic grunts were any match for Jet’s power, and I was starting to feel comfortable again. Cyrus hardly posed a challenge either, and after healing the building recoil damage off of Jet, I went to face Saturn.

I figured it would be fine at first -- Saturn was probably even less of a challenge than Cyrus. He sent out his Kadabra first, and I was quick to go for Air Slash. Unfortunately, it moved first, and I started to get flashbacks to Harriet’s decreasing speed stat.

Jet held on with a little under half of his health, and met Kadabra with a devastating Air Slash. 

I cheered for a moment, until I saw how much recoil damage I was taking.

On one hand, I wanted to be angry that there was no possible way I had done enough damage for recoil to take out Jet. On the other hand, I figured I shouldn’t have been surprised at that point. 

The recoil had seemed pretty serious in the battle against Cyrus -- it occurred to me that it was probably getting more severe, the same way that Harriet had attacked less and less. I mentally scolded myself for not noticing.

Using Sabrina against Saturn wasn’t any fun, but after many random instances of Growl and Magical Leaf, I got just enough proper uses of Shadow Ball and Future Sight to end the battle. Saturn admitted his defeat, and I went to heal before I made any more progress in the game.

I very much would do what I liked — and what I liked was the idea of getting to the end of the game. 

It was really only Mt. Coronet, the last badge, and the Elite 4 now, so I felt pretty confident that I could wrangle my way through. I was mumbling to myself about what other Pokemon I’d pick up — I always liked Giratina, and Drapion … maybe Gliscor, or Porygon-Z? 

I was caught up enough in my own thoughts that I hardly noticed Nurse Joy’s dialogue was different until it was almost too late to catch it.

I wasn’t given a chance to protest, as the text box promptly closed afterwards. I tried to talk to Nurse Joy again, but she just offered to heal my Pokemon like normal. 

I checked my party and, to my non-surprise, Jet wasn’t in the party. Only Sabrina and Dopey stared back at me. Something about that felt very anxiety-inducing.

Well, if Jet didn’t want to fight, I wasn’t going to make him. But I at least wanted to check on him, if he was bad enough that Nurse Joy felt the need to do something about it. I opened the PC, but Jet was absent from Box 1. I started to feel like this was going to be another Alix incident. 

I was getting sweaty at this point, rapidly clicking through the boxes in search of Jet. Right before my anxiety was going to boil over, I saw a flash of purple. I went to click on it instantly, but found that my game wasn’t responding to my inputs.

Oh no.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

I mashed on the D-Pad, trying to get some response — any response. 

I might’ve only seen one incident from her, but I didn’t trust Missy for a second. Not near Jet. 

I was pressing every button I could think of, desperate, when a text box popped up. And then, without any further input from me, a battle started. 

My heart sank as I saw Jet on the other side of the screen, and Missy on my end, without any indication of my character sending her out. 

The game gave me the control to select an option, but the buttons refused to work. ‘Run’, ‘Bag’, and ‘Pokemon’ all acted as if I was pressing absolutely nothing. It wouldn’t let me move over them with the D-Pad, and they offered no reaction when I tried to click them with my stylus. 

I thought to just sit there and try to wait it out, but the longer I watched Missy stare into Jet, whose eyes were finally open with what I imagined was fear, the sicker I felt. Hands shaking, I pressed ‘Fight’. 

I winced as I saw a large chunk of Missy’s tail disappear after Jet used Air Slash, as well as a deep nick cement itself in Jet’s wing. Recoil damage began to tick down. 

The game didn’t prompt me anymore. Missy took her turn, using Hypnosis, and I prayed and prayed for Jet to wake up soon. He could take her down easily. He just had to wake up.

Turn one.  He didn’t wake up. Missy trapped him in Bind, and his sprite flashed and changed — now his wings were held to his sides, like he was being forced into that position. The extra Bind damage was luckily minuscule.

Turn two. He kept sleeping. Missy continued her attack, and Jet’s health reached the red. There were now deep indents across his body, and I was starting to understand what ‘Bind’ really meant. 

This was it. Jet had to wake up this turn. He didn’t have a choice -- he’d die if he didn’t. I began to murmur to my DS, giving soft prayers that he would wake up and take Missy down.

“Please Jet, please, please, just wake up … you can do this, you’re strong … you won’t even have to fight anymore after, please…” 

The battle stalled for a moment, as if it had paused to hear my plea. A bit of hope swelled in my chest. 

A hope that was immediately crushed. The text scrolled out slower than ever as Missy stared me in the face, knowingly. I began to helplessly mash at buttons, hoping that the game would somehow allow me to intervene again -- but it wouldn’t. It wouldn’t do a thing. I pressed every button combination my frantic brain could think of, but they all amounted to nothing. 

The next text began to scroll across the screen, and I already knew what it would say. I didn’t bother to read it. I just kept button-mashing, despite how useless it was. The game hadn’t a care in the world as it continued to show me the brutal display.

Jet just dropped off the screen, without a message announcing he had fainted.

The game stuttered for a moment, probably trying to handle his HP bar in relation to his level or … something. I didn’t know. I didn’t care.

Eventually, text scrolled across the screen again.

Missy’s victory was practically thrown in my face by the cheery sound effect of a level-up. 

I was pretty sure I had started to cry, if only the littlest bit -- I felt scared of this stupid Glameow. I didn’t know what she wanted with me, why she was brutalizing my Pokemon. It was obvious she wanted to teach me something, and maybe I was just stupid and oblivious, but I didn’t grasp what.

“It’s enough! It’s enough, Missy! Please, just stop and leave me alone…”

I knew in my heart I could just put the game down. Rip the cartridge out of the DS and never touch it again. But my body felt like it was frozen with fear, and my better judgment was not the part of me making the decisions. 

Say what you will, but the game was targeting me, and that was enough to make me more scared than I had felt in a long, long time. Missy’s cold glare and Jet’s empty HP bar blankly stared back at me until, eventually, the battle faded, and I was back in the PC Box.

Box 13 was empty now. I felt sick. I didn’t know where Missy had dragged Jet off to, but I figured he probably just ceased to exist after she brutalized him. It wasn’t fair -- what had he done besides exist? 

It seemed like Missy was more angry with me than the Pokemon, and that only felt worse. I was playing with something that was way past what I ever expected it to be. I only stared down at the DS for a moment, trying to gather my thoughts and fully grasp what had just happened. I really couldn’t. There was something deeply disturbing about seeing a Pokemon go on a bloody rampage just for a grudge against me. God, would I have a story to talk to my therapist about. 

It occurred to me that I wasn’t sure if anyone would actually believe this had happened, but at that point, I was too exhausted to care. 

I wanted to get to the end of all of this. I kept thinking that, every time something horrible happened, but now I was determined. I didn’t care about finishing the game at this point, though. I didn’t care about Palkia, or Team Galactic, or Volkner or Cynthia or any of that. There was just a part of my soul that felt like I owed it to what Pokemon I had left. 

Sabrina. Poor Sabrina. I hadn’t used her much, but I knew she was trying for me. I wanted to, somehow, defeat Missy, so that Sabrina could be safe, and so that I wouldn’t feel the creeping paranoia that Missy was going to somehow kill me in my sleep.

I opened my party to check on Sabrina, and mentally cursed myself for speaking of the Devil.

I don’t know when Dopey disappeared from my party, or when Missy hit level 39. I had the sneaking feeling those events were correlated. Dopey hadn’t even done anything. But I guess he blocked Missy’s way to her next victim.

Her next victim. I felt sick. No. She couldn’t hurt Sabrina. I had other Pokemon in the PC, sure, but something was sickening about imagining Missy destroying the last Pokemon in my party, the last one I had made for this adventure-- 

There was a vague realization then, but I was too panicked to think about it. Instead, I fumbled for my phone, typing as quickly as I could. 

Missy needed to go away. She needed to be stopped. I felt like I might break down sobbing if I had to watch another thing be killed. She was closing in on Sabrina, and if the battle started, I knew I wasn’t going to be able to stop it. I doubted she would go back in the PC. This was my best chance. 

I had seen codes for implementing Pokemon directly into the team. Slot 2. This had to happen. It had to. I was certain just shutting the game off wouldn’t get rid of Missy, not that that would be the end of the world, so I switched around what I had to without worrying about it, fumbling to the code input screen with sweaty, shaking hands. My only fear was that this wouldn’t work, or that I would enter the code wrong and make everything worse.

The first one I found was for an Arceus. Fine. Sure. Whatever. I didn’t really care about a legendary or a mythical or whatever, it could’ve been a Feebas for all I cared, I just couldn’t stand having Missy in my game anymore. I must’ve caused this problem somehow, and I was going to solve it. 

I finished inputting the code, and booted the game back up. The intro scene was frozen, making some sort of horrible one-note noise that sounded like a dying animal, but that barely registered in my mind. 

I was still in the Pokemon Center. I opened up my party, holding my breath. I only hoped I hadn’t done anything wrong. 

… Well, obviously I had. Whatever I had just created in my party was absolutely not an Arceus -- but it wasn’t Missy, either. That was what mattered. It looked like some kind of horrible Bad Egg, but it wasn’t Missy. The game absolutely refused to let me hover over or select the Egg, but I hardly cared. 

As the adrenaline finally started to fade a little bit, I realized I wasn’t sure what my next goal was. Finish the game for Sabrina’s sake? Maybe. That was what I had sworn to do before I worked myself into another panic over Missy -- but I was also fairly sure that Missy was gone now. There was another Pokemon, or at least something resembling a Pokemon, in her spot in the party. I decided to at least step out of the Pokemon Center to get some virtual fresh air. 

Apparently, nothing was going to be easy. 

I opened and shut my party a few times, but Veilstone City’s graphics didn’t bother to come back. It remained a huge white slate, and none of the NPCs I tried to speak to registered my inputs. I had probably destroyed the game beyond repair at this point, huh? 

I’d catch Palkia, I decided. I’d catch Palkia, and that would mark the end of the adventure. That would make me feel confident that everything was fine, if not … glitchy. 

Maybe I was just a person who desired an end point, or maybe I wanted it for Sabrina. Who knew. 

My path up Mt. Coronet, though, had no intentions of being simplistic. Not that I expected it to be.

My wall collision was completely gone, and believe it or not, that really destroys your sense of direction. Random patches of tiles were completely gone, and NPCs refused to acknowledge I existed. 

It felt … isolated, I guess? I wish I knew how to describe it. It felt like something was going to jump out at me any moment, but it just never did. At the least, the lack of collision let me skip over any necessary HMs, even with Dopey gone.

At some points, the screen would just … blank out or corrupt completely, and I had to wander around helplessly until I eventually went through a doorway that reset it. Opening my Pokemon or Bag didn’t seem to do anything to remedy the situation, so that was all I could hope for. 

Team Galactic grunts rarely ever appeared, let alone fought me. I supposed it made things at least slightly easier. 

I still got wild encounters, though. Most of them looked … unsettling, to say the least.

Glitched, layered-over sprites and corrupted HP bars made up most of what I was running into. Sabrina was doing her best to fight them off, but she usually ended up using Growl or Lucky Chant a couple of times before actually getting a damaging move. 

It hurt, to imagine how tired she must be if she could never understand what I was telling her to use. I thought of the Harriets, Alix, and Jet. They all seemed so tired. I felt terrible.Could this really be my fault? 

If it was, I owed it to Sabrina to make it up to her. We’d finish this together.

It took her a while to complete fights, but I had a practically endless supply of healing items. I tried to not pay attention to the fact that I could see her attacks doing less and less damage, and her speed stat lowering. 

“You can do it, Sabrina. You can do it. Almost all done.” I whispered to the game.

I was saying it to convince myself just as much. I needed this in order to get myself to put this horrible game down. It was self-assurance, and I knew it. 

We continued our ascent, and I had to constantly be careful to not walk directly into the void. Not that it really did much if I did, but I was terrified of getting stuck or walking so far that I wouldn’t know how to get back. I was lost enough, considering I really, really didn’t have the map of Mt. Coronet memorized, and I still don’t. I’d hear some sort of pixelated howling noise from time to time, and it managed to startle me each time. Occasionally, the game would pop up with a message to alert me that I should heal Sabrina.

Her HP was usually full whenever it did that, but I had stopped being shocked by the game’s odd behavior at this point. I would give her a Hyper Potion, and the game would let me know that she felt a little better. Whatever helped, really. 

I had finally managed to access the last few rocky, corrupted corridors before Spear Pillar. The distorted, glitched yowling grew louder as I got closer and closer. The deep pit that was already in my stomach grew even deeper. 

Spear Pillar itself was a disaster.  Half of the map was completely replaced by some sort of gradient void that I imagined was usually meant to be the area’s backdrop, and the game was incredibly wishy-washy about if it wanted the sprites of the Team Galactic members to appear or not. They’d appear and disappear as I walked around, and none of them bothered to challenge me. 

No cutscenes were initiated, no battle side-by-side with my rival, no Professor Rowan and Lucas running up to let me know that Palkia wanted me to catch it, no Lake Trio destroying the Red Chain. I just walked right past everything. It felt wrong.

I walked up to where Palkia was meant to stand, waiting for my challenge. I should’ve guessed at that point, though, that I couldn’t fix my problems as easily as I thought I could. There was no ruler of space waiting to challenge me. 

Instead, perched in the center of all the corruption like some kind of twisted queen, she was there. She had been waiting for me.

The music started to pause and skip wildly, and I waited to see what was going to happen next. I felt sick. I didn’t want to see this stupid Glameow again. 

But she didn’t care. She began to speak, and miserably, I followed along.

I really, really wasn’t.

After a moment’s pause, the game offered me a YES/NO box. I selected ‘No’. I had my ideas, but I really, really wasn’t sure. And I didn’t want to infuriate Missy further.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about! I told you before to just tell me what’s going on!” I begged to a screen that wasn’t going to respond to me. 

Before I had time to brace myself, the DS speakers emitted a distorted screech that caused me to reach up to clutch my ears. As if I wasn’t overwhelmed enough. It was probably some mesh of Pokemon cries, but I didn't have it in me to discern what. 

I could feel tears pricking the corners of my eyes, stress and fear and simply too much happening all culminating in a tight feeling in my chest. My head was swimming as I squinted at the text, trying to ignore the pain in my head.

The screeching startled all over again, and I felt the tears start to pour over. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry--” I blubbered, apologizing to a game for no coherent reason. Maybe I did want this all along. I wasn’t even sure anymore.

Through my tears, I could see a battle start. 

A horrible, glitched mess of a Pokemon scrolled onto the empty screen, emitting a horrible, warped yowling sound at earsplitting volumes. At the sight and sound of the awful thing in front of me, I only began to sob harder. This wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair! I felt like a tantruming child, the only thoughts racing through my mind being how much this shouldn’t have been happening to me. 

The yowl continued as the game stuttered out text boxes. I was in Hell. This was some sort of screwed-up punishment. 

As Missy screeched at me, the game prompted me to take my turn, and I selected Fight and then Shadow Ball. I thought I clicked Shadow Ball, anyways, I don’t remember anymore.

Psywave. Psywave did damage, that was fine. But it only scraped off the smallest bit of Missy’s HP. And the second her HP stopped ticking down, she started to mew and yowl again. I felt like I was going deaf, or I at least wanted to.

I was given a moment’s respite from the noise, and the game once again gave me brief control. Similar to the battle between Missy and Jet, I couldn’t choose to run, use my bag, or switch Pokemon -- not that any of those would’ve done anything. I could only pick ‘Fight’ -- or, as it had changed to, ‘Check’. I didn’t have any choice, so I selected it.

I felt my heart drop as it hit me.  I already had the suspicion, but it finally all came crashing on me. Harriet, Alix, Jet, Sabrina. It was my fault they were in pain. It was my fault that they were too tired to use their turns, or to use the right moves, my fault that they took recoil. I had done this to them, and enraged Missy. Guilt gripped me, and I could barely read the words on the screen anymore.

“But what … what about Dopey? They didn’t … they didn’t-- didn’t do anything wrong… they weren’t … in pain … they … you didn’t need to kill anyone to punish me!” I wailed. “Please! Please, I’ll stop playing, just … stop hurting them! Why them? Why the overworld? Why…”

The game began to make sounds again, and I realized that Missy had more to say to me.

No. 

No, no, no. Her HP was draining at a brutally fast pace as the game repeated over and over and over that Sabrina was being hurt by Bind.

I couldn’t take it anymore. Without even thinking, I shut my entire DS off, threw the GameShark as far away from me as I possibly could and, after taking a few minutes to hyperventilate and think about my own crushing guilt and the sight of Sabrina, turned the DS back on. 

The game would still be overwritten with all the codes, of course. And that meant Missy would still be there to hurt all my Pokemon. It was my fault. But I couldn’t take it anymore. I had learned my stupid, awful lesson, I just needed her gone.

I wasted no time in pressing ‘Yes’, but I wasn’t quite fast enough for someone’s liking.

My chest tightened up.

“Yes you will! I got it! I learned! I’m done!” I insistently selected ‘Yes’ over and over until the game accepted it. I was upset, and guilty, and crushed, but I was also determined. I think it was the adrenaline.

Obviously!

As I pressed down on ‘Yes’, a telltale screech assaulted my ears as the game forced itself down to the ‘No’ option.

I resisted right back. It was practically a wrestling match between me and what I could only assume was Missy still trying to grip onto punishing me. It almost felt silly, if I wasn’t so terrified of what might happen if I couldn’t delete the file.

After maybe 10 or 15 seconds that felt like hours, I managed to press the corrupted ‘Yes’ before Missy could move it again. The game howled one more time, pixelated rage and pain and fury that caused me to drop my DS -- before it cut off into dull silence.

I stared at the DS, wide-eyed, too scared to touch it. The little clock icon ticked away in a rhythmic circle, alerting me that it was deleting data. I half-expected another interruption.

But no interruption came. The game returned to the title screen, and when I nervously reached out and tapped the A button, I was brought to Rowan’s introduction.

It was over. The file was gone. Everyone was gone. They probably would’ve been killed anyways, but I didn’t want to imagine myself as a mercy killer. That made me think too much of Missy. 

I left the DS on the floor, and crawled into my bed, allowing myself to just break down. I was already crying heavily, but for a while I just let myself wheeze and sob and whimper into one of my pillows, getting all of my feelings about. I felt so horribly guilty and so, so scared. I had hurt those Pokemon, but I couldn’t help but feel like Missy was evil too. I didn’t know. It was too much to process all at once. I was tired, and I needed to sleep.

I didn’t remember falling asleep, and I didn’t remember dreaming either. But at some point I woke up, face still sticky from tears drying all over it. My DS was still on the floor. I was a bit anxious to touch it, but I felt like I had to. I just wanted to ensure things were safe.

I dug around my room until I found where I had pitched the GameShark to, bringing it back to my DS. I didn’t feel good about putting it back in there, but I wanted to delete all of the codes. I knew I couldn’t permanently undo the changes I had made to the game, but I figured I’d do the best I could. I didn’t feel like I was going to faint at any moment now, at least. I had turned off the lights and closed the blinds in my room so the light didn’t hurt my eyes so much. 

Carefully and methodically, I deleted each code. Thinking about the game made me start to feel panicky again, but there was something calming to lists, taking out the codes one at a time. I tried to take deep breaths, ensuring that everything was gone before I properly started up the game again.

Pearl. Just normal, regular Pearl. I didn’t have many intentions of playing very far in, but my brain was foggy and I was just sort of pressing buttons. Making sure I didn’t completely destroy my cartridge, y’know?

I went through the beginning game motions, vaguely annoyed by how slow the whole thing was. Diamond and Pearl were always slow, I guessed. It wasn’t exactly the primary thing in my mind, you get me? 

I picked Turtwig when I got to the starter selection screen. I was still a Turtwig person. I was going to try and not let that change. Or maybe I’d just have to become a Chimchar person.

When I saw the sparkles spin off of the Turtwig, I audibly gasped. I knew for a fact that I had gotten rid of all the shiny codes, which meant that this was a honest-to-god, full-odds, completely legit shiny Turtwig. 

I nearly broke down again right there, though this time it was with laughter. Was this a gift? Or was it making fun of me? I liked to think the former. All that pain, and I finally got a dumb shiny Turtwig. I didn’t even know if I’d play this file all the way through, and I got a shiny Turtwig on my first try. There weren’t even words. 

I liked to think that this was something in the universe making things up to me, even if I wasn’t sure I deserved that. I decided to roll with it. I wasn’t going to say no to a lucky shiny. I fought off the beginning Starly with ease, dropped off by my in-game home to talk to my mom, and then set off on my way with Turtwig. I wondered what I’d name her. I didn’t really wanna name her Harriet again. That seemed like it would be asking for things to go sour. Shelly, maybe? Or was that too simple? I’d have to get something figured out by the time I got my character to Sandgem Town. Not that it was an especially long walk, but I had to go through a few encounters in the tall grass.

As if on cue with my thoughts, my character stopped, and the battle music started to play. Guess I would have more time to figure out my Turtwig’s nickname. I didn’t think about it, though, because my mind completely blanked out. Like somebody had just wiped all of my current thoughts away in an instant. 

A cry came through the speakers.

[pokemon-inspiration]

“Invasive” Grass-types

Invasive species have been touched on in the world of Pokemon, namely in the Alola region, but I feel like invasive plants have yet to be properly covered. So, I decided to toy around with the following variants of Grass-type Pokemon, inspired by real life invasive plants.

“Eurasian watermilfoil” Tangela and Tangrowth 

Type: Grass/Water

This variant of the Vine Pokemon tends to prefer lakes, streams, and deltas over the dense jungles of the Kantonian version. The vines Tangela and Tangrowth are wrapped in are pinkish in hue and covered in delicate, feather-like leaves that collapse immediately when held out of water. Both of these variants love to let their vines (in Tangrowth’s case, including its arms) grow up to the surface, forming dense mats that block sunlight from reaching plants below. This turns the lake into a forest of swaying vines and little else. While individually these vines are weak and easily breakable, they grow in such quantities that any who would try to prey on these Vine Pokemon, or just remove them from the lakes they infest, quickly find themselves swamped by piles of heavy, wet vines. When fragments of these Pokemon break off, even tiny ones, they will quickly form roots and eventually become entirely new Tangela.

“Buckthorn” Sawsbuck

Type: Grass/Dark

This “invasive” Pokemon is one of the few variants that does not include its pre-evolution. These Season Pokemon begin as normal Deerling, until they come into contact with the tiny seeds of a vicious, unpleasant type of woody plant. These seeds quickly grow into the Deerling’s skin, irritating it to the point of causing uncharacteristic rampages. Once the Deerling evolves, the characteristic antlers Sawsbuck is known for are replaced with wide, bushy, thorny branches. The plant that now has completely bonded with the Pokemon pays no heed to seasons, only dropping its leaves in the absolute coldest part of winter. Armed with these new weapons, this Sawsbuck variant will seek out fights wherever it can, goring its opponent with its massive sharpened antlers. The only time it is not fighting is when the plant becomes laden with berries, making the antlers so heavy the Sawsbuck can’t lift its head. At that point it hunkers down in the undergrowth, leaving bird Pokemon to feed on the berries, thus spreading the influence of the dastardly plant even more. 

"Salt Cedar" Snover and Abomasnow

Type: Grass/Rock

Unlike their polar and alpine relatives, this variant of Snover and Abomasnow make their homes in dry, arid, rocky areas of the world. They retain their snowy white appearance at first glance, but on closer inspection their pale complexion is due to a buildup of salt crystals on the outside of their dense wooden bodies. If left to their own devices, these Frost Tree Pokemon will send their roots deep into the earth, plumbing hidden pockets of mineral rich water to sustain themselves under a scorching sun. While they retain the water from their search, any dissolved salts will first coat them, then spill out onto the ground, turning the soil barren and preventing anything else from growing, Pokemon or otherwise. Removal of these Pokemon can be tricky, as not only can they utilize their long roots as whips, they can break off pieces of their jagged salty exterior and launch them like sling bullets. 

"Water hyacinth" Bulbasaur, Ivysaur, and Venusaur

Type: Grass/Water

Hailing from the rivers and oxbow lakes of a tropical land, these Seed Pokemon spend very little time outside of the water. In fact, unless the rivers and lakes they live in completely dry up, they never really take root either. Instead of the characteristic bulb planted on the backs of normal Bulbasaur, a plant full of inflated herbaceous tissue is attached, allowing the line to gently float on the surface from the moment they’re born. As the Bulbasaur evolves to Ivysaur and then to Venusaur, the bloated plant sends up stalks that eventually bloom into brilliant purple flowers. The legs of these Pokemon have developed into broad paddle-like flippers, better suited to subtle adjustments than sustained swimming. What goodness they can’t get from the sun they can draw directly from the water, using small roots that grow from their bellies. Originally bred as living decorations, these Pokemon have gotten out of hand in the areas they’ve been introduced to. Each gas-filled branch that breaks off can become a new Pokemon, and since they never need to take root, they can often entirely cover the surface of even massive inland seas. What these Pokemon may lack in offensive power they more than make up for in tenacity and stubbornness, so complete removal is extremely difficult. 

“Kudzu” Turtwig, Grotle, and Torterra

Type: Grass

One of the more infamous examples of invasive Grass-types, these Pokemon begin life as a Turtwig, a Tiny Leaf Pokemon, with a growth that looks like a tangle of shaggy vines more than the usual sapling. While this affords a small amount of protection, it also obscures the Turtwig’s vision, causing it to bump into trees and rocks, tangling its long vines into the surrounding landscape. Once it is nearly immobilized by its tangled vines and evolves to Grotle, the vines spread along every solid surface around it, engulfing anything standing still in a blanket of leaves. The immense amount of power that gets generated by its leaf carpet allows it to evolve to Torterra, normally a walking mountain, whose shell is entirely composed of tangled and compacted vines. Having mastered control over its plant growth, it is able to move from forest to forest, spreading its influence and gaining more power with every square meter it consumes. While the Turtwig and Grotle variants can usually be contained more easily, a fully grown Kudzu Torterra is a biome-level threat, towering over its less invasive cousin, requiring coordinated effort and no small amount of caution, as it is in full control over every vine that extends from its body. An unsuspecting human or Pokemon can quickly find themselves hung upside down by their feet when trying to push back an infestation, or completely blanketed by new growth.

[foxgirltail]

I like how, besides the more sitewide weekly holidays (out of touch Thursday, fingers in his ass Sunday), some people have started their own personal days. Ryan chongoshow has iggy friday and mad rat monday and others I think, molly theoneandmolly did marcille dance monday for a bit, Lizzy lizzy-frizzle is doing torterra Tuesday, I'm doing monopoly mermaid Monday and break stuff Sunday...

I don't know where I'm going with this but I think it's fun

[scientist-bryan-wolfsbane]

Bryan: Torterra, an amazing grass starter for the Sinnoh region. Small Pokemon gather on it's back and make nests and habitats. It is known as the continent pokemon for a reason. I have heard that somewhere people were doing experiments to make Torterra much bigger, so entire cities could live on them, making it easier to find more land. That raises a lot of questions though...

Amy: The Torterra were certainly big when I was out there. I was so close to them that I could reach out and touch them if I wanted to. But they were asleep and I didn't want to wake them up.

Mary: I would like to live on a Torterra, I could get a change of scenery every week. Would be nice.

[kokorowoutsu]

-- Terafest ‘23: Available Pokemon

The booth is a modest one that, well, is just a booth with a seat and some shade for Grusha to have a seat. With how the fact it doesn’t actually stand out much might be the reason it is attracting attention. Colored in shades of cool colors that catch the eye, one can’t help but be drawn just out of sheer curiosity to see, well, what the hell he’s giving out because all it says is ‘Adoption Booth’ in a foreign language that can’t even be read by normal means and then in Paldean ‘Adoption Booth’ below it.

Grusha is wearing a t-shirt, shorts, leaning on the booth counter and is accompanied by a dense-furred Mightyena with claws the color of icy blue and a Weavile that had been preening various pokeballs nearby. 

It’s only when you approach that a quiet voice speaks to you. “Welcome!” You can’t tell if it’s Grusha’s or if it belongs to someone else entirely, instead, you’re met with questioning eyes as he looks up from his phone.

“-- Welcome. Are you... interested in adopting a pokemon today?”

( OOC; Welcome to the Terafest ‘23 Adoption Booth offering Fae-Touched pokemon that may or may not turn out to be Fairfok. With that said, this post is the official post to adopt out said pokemon with a list and some suggested moves, a bit of personality, etc. Please do pay mind to the initial post for the Fae Gauge if you’re interested in story-telling. Now onto the fair children! )

@terafest​

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~​

Indeedee | Female | Synchronize | Psychic | Lvl 40s approx. / No LVL | Fae Gauge: 88%

Known Moves: Calm Mind, Psychic, Helping Hand, Disarming Voice

Suggested nickname is ‘Silky’.

A sweet and cheerful pokemon who only wants to help others. She takes to a home instantly and considers it hers. Anything in the house is hers to care for and see protected and anything that is foreign is considered an enemy until she deems otherwise. She refuses to leave the home she’s introduced too. She comes in a Heal Ball.

( OOC; Based on the Brownie that appears in Scottish folklore -- a household spirit that comes out at night to do housework and farmwork while the owners of the house sleep. Becomes offended if given gifts, but accepts offerings of cream or milk on the hearth. )

---

Misdreavus | Female | Levitate | Ghost | Lvl 20s approx. / No LVL | Fae Gauge: 66%

Known Moves: Perish Song, Confuse Ray, Mean Look, Astonish

No suggested nickname.

When Grusha’s cousin found her Mismagius, she actually found two... this one took the longest to come out of being a Shadow Pokemon compared to the one she kept. Displaying a depressing temperament upon coming out of her Shadow Pokemon state, it was clear a part of her was still missing and mourning something that she once was. The Lady of Grandcrest Ranch has attempted many times to find her a home, a suitable place to be even... but nothing sticks. She has been crying mournfully ever since at dusk. She comes in a Dusk Ball.

( OOC; Based on the Banshee in Irish folklore -- a female spirit who heralds the death of a family member, usually be screaming, wailing, or shrieking. )

---

Torterra | Male | Overgrow | Grass/Ground | Lvl 50s appro. / No LVL | Fae Gauge: 45%

Known Moves: Earthquake, Crunch, Synthesis, Wood Hammer

Suggested nickname is ‘Oogway’.

A pokemon that was raised for research purposes by Grusha’s family member. He has a fairly mellow temperament and responds well to the battlefield. He is used to intense fighting as shown by some scars he has and would make a fine addition even to a newbie’s team. He gives off the vibes of an old man who likes to sunbathe in his spare time. He comes in a Pokeball.

---

Cetoddle | Male | Thick Fat | Ice | Lvl 1 appro. / No LVL | Fae Gauge: 5%

Known Moves: Yawn, Powder Snow, Tackle

Suggested nickname is ‘Marshmallow’.

A surprise addition to the adoption list is this little guy that was the result of Grusha’s Cetitan, Quartz, having a clutch of babies. Grusha was in no position to care for any more pokemon, so he’s hoping he’ll find a home with his bouncy and cheerful nature. He hasn’t been trained in any particular way but as a ice-type specialist, Grusha has made a determination that he’s only best in the hands of a newbie. In growing with someone, this little one can too, grow. This little one comes knowing a special egg move as well and largely unaffected by the fae... mostly... He also comes in a Pokeball.

---

Meowstic | Male | Keen Eye | Psychic/Fairy (fae addition) | Lvl 42 appro. / No LVL | Fae Gauge: 100%

Known Moves: Psyshock, Light Screen, Reflect, Fake Out, Moonblast (fae influence)

His nickname is ‘Rascal’.

A mischievous and eerie pokemon that seems to have a mind of his own. He doesn’t listen well to even Grusha and although his Heal Ball is present, the pokemon itself, isn’t. Instead, he’s lurking nearby. All too aware his of what his species can do, it’s not to say this pokemon may not have blood on his little paws, and so its recommended that someone established in the occult take this little one on knowing that he isn’t entirely pokemon. He will likely become their familiar and in essence, a part of them -- an extension of them. He has battle prowess, but is better used as a defense set-up pokemon. Noticeable changes include darker fur, near black, and a distinct white mark on his chest. His inner ears which hold psychic abilities appear to be black voids instead.

( OOC; Based on the Cat-Sith from Irish folklore -- Cat Fairfolk at best that have multiple myths surrounding them. )

---

Lycanroc (Midnight) | Male | Vital Spirit | Rock | Lvl 60 appro. / No LVL | Fae Gauge: 75%

Known Moves: Stone Edge, Crunch, Stealth Rock, Double Team

Suggested nickname is ‘Kyo’.

A brooding and aggressive pokemon that wears a shackle that seems roughly of his own making around his wrist. He will bite anyone who attempts to remove it. He was found and rescued by Grusha’s relative and brought today to hopefully find someone who can take and make him a reliable partner. He has battling prowess and while anyone can adopt him, it’s not recommended he goes to a beginner if only because of his temperament. He comes in a Ultra Ball.

( OOC; Loosely inspired by Kyo from Fruit’s Basket but also takes inspiration from possibly being a full-blown Werewolf from folklore. )

---

Lopunny | Female | Cute Charm / Limber | Normal | Lvl 55 appro. / No LVL | Fae Gauge: 62% | Comes holding a Lopunite

Known Moves: Hi Jump Kick, Bounce, Agility, Ice Punch

Nickname is “Ryder”

A energetic and happy-go-lucky pokemon that always seems to have a smile on her features. Nothing seems to get her down! She comes from The Lady of Grandcrest Ranch’s therapy program and having it shut down, this pokemon has chosen to further her horizons elsewhere. She has a strong sense of free-will and independence and is on intelligence level with any human trainer around her. Comes in a Heal Ball.

ADOPTED BY @cosmoscourge​ !!

---

Picasso | Male | Poison Touch | Poison / Normal | Lvl 25 appro / No LVL | Fae Gauge: 20%

Known Moves: Slash, U-Turn, Poison Fang, Fury Swipes

Nickname is “Picasso”

An unusual pokemon being put up for adoption since he essentially was asked to be rehomed by his trainer. While he’s got a gentle and inquisitive personality, he didn’t vibe with his trainer who was a battler at heart, and a highstrung one at that. Perhaps not suited for battles, but is always looking for a shoulder to perch on! Comes in a Great Ball.

( OOC; Used to belong to Leon but a difference in opinion between pokemon and trainer has left him seeking a new home~ Picasso may keep that information to himself though. He’s secretive! )

--- 

Dreepy | Female | Levitate | Ghost/ Dragon | Lvl 10 appro. / No LVL | Fae Gauge: 8%

Known Moves: Astonish, Infestation, Quick Attack, Bite

Suggested nickname is ‘Queenie’

The daughter of an in-law’s Dragapult, Grusha was told to bring this little one for adoption since, well, she needs to find a home. A prankster as much as her father, she exudes a regalness already despite her small size and enjoys being pampered like the princess she believes herself to have been in a past life ( she likes to read, apparently ). She comes in a Poke Ball.

[inikavulpixelreviews]

Let’s Talk About Pokemon - The Grookey Family

810: Grookey

And so, finally after 22 reviews, we get to see a Grass Starter. And erm, spoilers. Competition for the Gen 7 starters these are not. Even granting it's gonna be a tall order to top Gen 7's starters for me, these tragically can't even find a candle to hold up to them.

Grookey from day 1 has felt really underwhelming to me and my opinion on it has not improved a bit. It stinks to have the Grass starter, the starter type I've always traditionally started with, just strike out completely this time. Even if I wasn't too thrilled about Chespin either, it had a fun spin on a hedgehog design. Grookey here is. It sure is a monkey, yeah. Didn’t we already get a funny Grass monkey with Pansage though?

I don't know what it is about friggin monkeys. And how Pokemon can't ever seem to make me be able to give a damn about any of them other than Darumaka. (And that’s if you even consider that one a monkey.) Their designs have just always felt on the samey side to me even if we disqualify the Gen 5 elemental monkeys. I can't even muster up the emotional strength to get angry at Grookey for tarnishing the Grass starter's excellent run up until this point. It's just so harmlessly blasé.

It has one little personality quirk where it takes the stick out of its “hair” and uses it as not just a weapon in battle, but also it loves to drum with it. Very obviously flagging where it will be heading in an evolutionary path.

Personal Score: 5/10

811: Thwakey

I keep seeing people dunk on Thwakey but it's a monkey with at least a LITTLE fun going for it. It's got an odd body shape that looks a little more imaginative than its line-mates, and at least it pulls off the “just a regular monkey” look in a slightly cooler looking way than your usual Poke-Primate. I dunno, I just likes its face in a way I find a little hard to pin down.

But when it pulls out the sticks in its hair, it gets a fun bit of extra flare in a leafy mohawk! So it's got a cool dynamic model to go with it.

Though I will say a big irk for me about the design is how top-heavy the color distribution is. Had one of the colors either moved down to its legs or got removed entirely, it'd look a little less egregious, but it just makes the 'mon look uncomfortably naked. Don't be making me think of naked monkeys, man.

Something I will give this line credit for is that it continues the Grass Starter tradition of pre-history in an interesting way. And since I've admittedly been pretty on-off about explaining them, I might as well recap it so far. And since this may be the last time we talk about Starters for a few years, I might do the same for the other Starter lines and their themes, as well as how these new starters fit in.

Venusaur is easily the biggest stretch since this “extinct creatures” theme feels like it fell onto the Grass starters by accident or something. Venusaur was always meant to be more of a toad, not even being speculation at this point since it's been outright stated it is a one. It does, however, hold plenty of dinosaur-esque features which is probably why English localization has given it the “saur” in its name to begin with. Then comes Meganium, being an unambiguous sauropod. Sceptile has features of raptors and other feathered dinosaurs. Torterra goes from a tortoise to becoming notably part-ankylosaur. Serperior started out as a snake with limbs, showing a line-long progression of lizards losing their limbs over time to become modern snakes. Chesnaught evolved into the extinct mammal, glyptodont. And finally, Decidueye the Ghost-owl becomes the fairly recently extinct Stilt Owl.

Before the mass leak, a lot of fans speculated to keep up with this trend, that Grookey would eventually become a Gigantapithecus, an extinct species of ape. But turns out it's a bit more nuanced than that. As we'll see, Rillaboom is a much more average looking ape. Grookey could very well be based on cavemen. What, with them being primates that developed enough to start using sticks as tools. Even down to using them to create a musical beat! That's really clever! It's like, the one glimmer of super creative theming in this whole line.

Personal Score: 6/10

812: Rillaboom

And obviously the theme is still going into Rillaboom here, with it being a touch more human than the usual ape Pokemon as well as throwing in a bit of neanderthal into the mix with its large brow and all. But I can't get behind this decidedly basic ape. It's a Pokemon ape in a world where we've already gotten plenty of Pokemon apes so I have to wonder what was the point of introducing a new Pokemon that's even more grounded than the already pretty grounded; albeit cartoony, apes are. Why would you look at the lineup of so many grounded and fairly realistic Poke-Apes and think “Y'know what Pokemon is missing? An EVEN MORE grounded and realistic ape!!”

And yes, it gets a fun little drum set and some drum sticks made out of a tree trunk and some branches. That's neat and all, but I still think a Pokemon aught to be visually interesting even without its accessories. In exactly the same way Rotom is interesting even before it gained new forms from its ability to possess appliances, or that Decidueye is still a cool and eye-catching design even before you learn that it can use its arms and hood draw-strings as a bow. Take away Rillaboom's drum set and what does Rillaboom have? A giant leafy mullet, I guess. Though even then, it's odd how many repeated motifs we get this Gen. We already have a wild-haired glam rocker in Obstagoon, so why do we need another one, especially if it's even more downplayed? I guess they just really felt the need to have an entire band between Rillaboom on drums, Toxtricity on guitar and bass, and Obstagoon on vocals. Ehh.

I think that's the core of why these starters feel lukewarm at best to me. Normally the starters are at least competently designed, and very much made in mind that they're going to be the centerpiece of Pokemon marketing for the next 3 or 4 years. If this line had just been a mid-game random line of Grass monkeys, I wouldn't have found it weird at all.

...But at least it comes with a fun stealth pun! What do you say when you send your Rillaboom out into battle? “Go, Rillaboom!”

GoRillaboom.

Hah.

Personal Score: 4/10

Boy I can’t wait to see that new Mythical Pokemon, which is very likely yet another monkey. Sigh.

[Archive]