#out of context this is concerning but may i remind you she's a vampire in two of her verses before you get worried ASDFG

[quietlyblooms]

would you let chiyo bite you. would you let her have a lil snack. just how much do you love her...

[solarianvoidthearoace]

Excerpt#3 of JuPeter Vampire!AU

CN/TW: friendly insults/mocking, discussion of past brawl, misunderstanding of said friendly insults/threats, brief implication of Juno being a trophy wife, friendly challenging

“So you are the lady that occupied the best thief in the entire region for over two months now”, she rested her elbows atop the counter, leaning in to scrutinize Juno. After a while she nodded in apparent approval,

“Alright, come right around Pete, the family’s waiting in the back room.” Straightening back up to her full height, she made her way to said door behind the bar counter. Curious and a bit intimidated, Juno followed by Nureyev’s hand. The back room was surprisingly better lit than the main room of the tavern, a small round table dead center, with three people waiting for them.

“Thief! Long time no see, what brought your mug back in here this time?”, a woman with green hair greeted. It was the fond kind of depreciation that carried in her raspy voice.

“As you can see, I brought lovely company I felt the need to introduce to you. Though I apparently was wrong about all of us being criminal socialites, as he doesn’t recall having heard of the Captain”, Nureyev sat down first, in a room where everyone except for him and Juno seemed to be armed purely by habit. Okay, Juno didn’t know wether Nureyev wasn’t armed, it was a habit he shared, after all, but he at least left his revolver in the mansion.

“Told you not to call me Captain, Pete, I never was your captain and haven’t carried that title in years”, the bar owner sat down next, without leaving a chair empty between her and Nureyev.

“I suppose introductions will be in order then, since Ransom’s companion does not seem to have been told about us beforehand”, the remaining person, a giant of a man, joined them at the table, leaving one chair to the Captain’s left and another one between him and Nureyev.

Juno looked cautiously around the table, his eyes locking on that green-haired woman for a bit, before he took his seat next to Nureyev.

“Doctor, would you kindly join us? I remember you being the one to establish the rule that everyone has to sit if one person sits down first. Wasn’t it about fairness in case a fight breaks loose?”, he waved at the remaining chair.

The doctor scoffed,

“And who’s fault is it we needed that damn rule, eh, Ransom? You’re lucky we work well together and my wife likes you”, she slumped into the seat, crossing her arms.

“So, introductions. I think I should disclose something first”, the Captain smirked a bit,

“I know who you brought along, Pete. One Juno Steel, vampire hunter and detective. I had Jet look into him back when he wasn’t yet agreeing with himself whether to ever leave Hyperion. So, Juno, darling, you seem to be the only one at a disadvantage of knowledge here”, the Captain leaned back.

Nureyev rolled his eyes, sighed and smoothed out his waistcoat before turning to Juno,

“Apparently the honors are mine to introduce what I already told you is this town’s ragtag gangle of criminal legends. This red-haired lady here is Captain Buddy Aurinko”, the Captain’s glare at the title didn’t go unnoticed,

“And next to her is her prickly but highly competent wife, Doctor Vespa Ilkay. And last but not least, Mister Jet Siquliak. As to what our areas of expertise are -“ Juno’s raised hand interrupted him.

“The Captain Aurinko you have been talking about like an old friend for months is Buddy Aurinko? The Buddy Aurinko?! And Vespa Ilkay, as in, the Vespa, infamous assassin and other half of legendary criminal duo Buddy and Vespa. You are on first-name-base with the legendary Vespa and Buddy and you didn’t feel the need to tell me?!” The room fell silent at that.

It was Buddy who spoke first,

“So you have heard of us, darling, that’s good to know.” Juno rubbed at his temple,

“Of course I have heard of you! Sure, I worked as a monster hunter, not exactly a career where pirates and thieves concerned me, but obviously I have heard of you. I mean, who hasn’t? Your desertion from the naval fleet was before I even picked up my first gun but, wow, yea, definitely a criminal legend!”, he turned to Vespa next,

“And you’re basically legendary for revolutionizing field medicine, pretty much every monster hunter in business fell back onto your methods to make it out at one point. And yea, I have heard about some of the kills you managed, holy hell, some of that still sounds impossible to me.” When he finished, Juno noticed the others’ expectant look on him and blinked.

“Ah, so I take it you haven’t heard of Jet, darling”, Buddy took over, leaning onto the table and looking at Juno, who shook his head.

“Jet here used to be someone”, she seemed to be searching for a word,

“Dangerous. There are several novels based around what he was up to in his youth but to us the past is past and all you need to know is that he’s a very capable thief and burglar.”

“So, ageless thief”, Vespa spoke up,

“Why did you bring your lady here? If he’s with you it can’t be that he’s desperate to get a job.” Nureyev grinned at that, a hint of danger in the way he showed his teeth,

“If what my grandfather Peter Nureyev accumulated in wealth can sustain me easily enough, why shouldn’t my lady love profit from that as well?” Juno had to suppress a shudder at how easily Nureyev lied about his true name. Also it didn’t sit right with him that Nureyev put up the facade of a rich kid born into wealth. Juno knew better, after all.

Because the memories he had seen of Nureyev were before he even reached adulthood and therefor probably one and a half decades before he was turned. It hadn’t been pretty, Nureyev had grown up as poor as can be, barely scraping by before being taken in by -

“Juno?”, Nureyev gave him a quizzical look.

“I’m sorry, I got hung up on a thought. What did I miss?”

“Pete just mentioned you would like to get back into shooting”, Buddy gave him yet another scrutinizing look,

“I heard you were brilliant with a revolver and I’m sure we might just be able to get you back on track towards former glory. I would be your training partner, coaching you through getting confident with a gun again.” At that she brushed back her hair, uncovering half her face and the eyepatch that had lain hidden behind the red curls. Juno didn’t miss a beat,

“That’s such a great offer, thank you.” Vespa snorted,

“If you happen to really become half-decent again, we might be able to get you even more of a way to kill time. Getting you out of that ratty old mansion and back out into the world. Might even earn enough to gain independence from that cocky, posh rich kid.” Peter simply rolled his eyes at that, probably used to insults regarding his supposedly inherited wealth in context of his career choice.

Juno on the other hand couldn’t help but growl,

“I’m staying with him because I want to. Because of him, actually. I would probably be three towns over by now if we hadn’t run into each other in this very tavern. Unexpected reunion? Sure. But you can stick what you’re implying there right up your -“, Peter clearing his throat interrupted him.

“Juno, dear, thank you very much for defending both our honor but rest assured, Doctor Ilkay was just bantering”, he gave Vespa a side-eye and his tone changed,

“Probably even trying to look into your intentions with me. A protective sentiment, as unnecessary as it may be.”

“But -!”, this time Vespa’s snort and cackling broke him off before he could get on with it.

“Loosen your tighty whities, Steel. You know why you couldn’t place it if Ransom even mentioned me by the name of Doctor Ilkay? Is because it’s recent”, she shrugged, leaning forward in her chair and onto the table,

“I would’ve to be real stupid to get up in arms against the man who financed me finishing my medical degree. Also from what I heard his grand-daddy Peter Nureyev was from a similar shithole to the one that spat me out, tried changing the system back there, became a folk hero and ended up here, somehow.”

Vespa shook her head, as if trying to make sense of that, before she gave a one-armed shrug and gesture by way of what have you,

“And yea, I called Ransom a cocky arse, because he is, but somehow it’s almost as if he remembers his old man’s roots. Posh rich kid, sure, but somehow with those ideals and morals the old Nureyev had. Not that I ever met the man, though Buddy and I sure are old enough that we should’ve ran into him at least once.” From Juno’s point of view there was a whole lot to unpack in just those last sentences. He felt like he needed to ask Nureyev how the hell that even worked out if Buddy was the one supplying him with literally bottled blood.

But for now, Juno somehow felt really welcome between these people he had only heard of before today. And that reminded him,

“I came to town with my research expert and best friend, Rita -“, Jet cut him off this time.

“Yes, Miss Rita has been introduced to us. We offered her to stay at the rooms in the back of this building, living along with us. Captain Buddy already gave her something to work on which is why she is not with us to greet you.” Surprised as he was, Juno made a noise of acknowledgment.

“Darling, if the Registry does get back to her, you’ll be the next person to know of it. As you might have noticed, word travels fast in small towns and even faster in this one with an established criminal network.” At Buddy’s words, Nureyev smirked and rested his chin on his palm,

“The wondrous ways of the Cerberus Province, isn’t it lovely to be a criminal socialite?” His teeth and his glasses glinted sharply in the light of the room, Vespa snorted, Buddy sighed and Juno felt that maybe this was some sort of family to Nureyev. A family that he had been anxious about for Juno to meet them.

A family, as it turned out, that was all too happy about it’s newest two members. Juno and Buddy made a habit and a statement of meeting twice a week for their firearm training. Rita and Jet became rather inseparable, at least Juno couldn’t remember the last time he had seen one without the other around the Lighthouse. Even Vespa warmed up to the occupational monster hunter, in her rough way of showing it.

“Peter is treating you well, isn’t he, darling?”, Buddy casually started between rounds of shooting. Juno raised a brow, for someone who he had barely met two months ago, she was rather motherly towards him in particular.

“He’s taking good care of me, yea”, Juno couldn’t help his smile if he had wanted to,

“To think he had offered me this life a year ago already, it’s a dizzying thought. But I also think I’m fine with how things went.” Buddy gave him a once-over, looking for something apparently. Whether or not she found it, or even what it was, he couldn’t tell when she spoke again.

“You have made yourself quite the powerful friend, darling. I hope you know as much besides your obvious appreciation for the rest of all that he is”, she leaned back on her stool, relaxing against the table behind her.

“The way I see it, it’s powerful friends. Plural. I never would have thought to even get to meet you and Vespa and now see where I’m standing”, Juno shrugged,

“I’m happy and appreciative to have met all of you. Rita was the only family I have known for so long and now I get to have -”, he had to take a breath, wiping at his eye and resting those fingers against his temple,

“I finally have a family again.” From the warm smile Buddy directed at him, she knew that very sentiment, having carved out her own corner of the world, planted her feet and declared it the Buddy Aurinko Crime Family.

“Ransom should be on his way back by now, what do you say we wrap this up for today?”, she stood, walking past him to the target area of what they had gradually made into a decent shooting range.

“Of course after you hit this”, she held up a playing card for him to see, before taking one of her hairpins and fixing it to the target they had been using. Juno saw her counting the steps on her way back, while he slowed his breath and readied his revolver.

“A two-and-a-half by three-and-a-half inch playing card. To be hit from a 32 feet distance”, she held up the rest of the deck,

“I’m not gonna be picky, darling, I just want you to hit it at all. Afterwards you can go, run off to that dear lover of yours returning home”, if her voice was more teasing than usual, so be it.

“Come on, don’t be shy. Two days ago you managed to hit the target at 25 meters distance dead center. A lady who can celebrate is a lady who can get a shot in on a playing card”, with that Buddy went back to the table, taking her seat. Juno huffed, a snarky reply on the tip of his tongue. It wasn’t as if she had invited him on a drink for that bull’s eye or anything, was it now?

[robotslenderman]

Eternal Hearts Liveblog, pt 1

Special thanks to @missn11​, who is probably mortified their name is associated with this travesty of a post, for letting me get my filthy little hands on this piece of embarrassing VTM history.

Okay guys, time to do the thing that’s gonna get me cancelled by fifteen-year-olds in the year 2032:

I’m gonna liveblog Eternal Hearts.

I once promised myself I would never make a rape joke, but today I break that vow because even the rape scenes are (sometimes) just that fucking ridiculous that I had to make fun of them.

This book is just.

Guys.

It’s GLORIOUS.

In the first twenty-four pages alone we have:

A guy is confronted by a locked door, so he whips his dick out. Everyone else acts like this is completely normal.

A guy meeting Final Death because a politician sat on his face. RIP in pieces Noah.

A mortal setting herself on fire, waving her arms around and running at a bunch of vampires yelling “DIE, YOU BASTARDS!”

A guy using his dick as a key ring. (Yeah, it’s the locked door guy.)

Lucita given the Hallowe’en treatment, in that she’s covered with sewage -- but sexy!

Daddy kink on top of the Washington monument.

Only some of the above makes sense in context. Some of it is as baffling in context as it is out of context.

This is the funniest shit I’ve ever read. Nobody told me about this when I went in holy shit.

Time to open this sucker up!

Liveblog under the cut!

DEAD DOVE, DO NOT EAT, THIS IS YOUR FINAL WARNING. IF YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT ETERNAL HEARTS IS, DO NOT READ THIS LIVEBLOG, HOLY SHIT.

You’re in for a ride, and it’s the edgiest, unsexiest ride ever.

First thing I notice: Eternal Hearts is, in fact, written by a woman. Which may mean that if she wanted to scare the shit out of her female readers, she'd know exactly how to do it.

gulp.

(^ I wrote that back when I thought I was gonna traumatise myself by reading this. OH BOY)

Next bit, the rape book is opened by the following foreword:

What follows is an essay that basically boils down to "no! :D but we wrote it anyway!”

Partway through that is this quote:

We’ll come back to that quote later. Several times, I predict.

Aaaand we open straight into a gang rape scene! Oh joy. And there’s church spires, to make it extra edgy.

Oh but then they give her the Kiss so she enjoys it! Yay!

Oh.

She's a shovelhead.

They never mentioned THIS part of the Sabbat recruitment process.

and now she's underground and buried and being raped again? Somehow. Like somebody’s got their entire goddamn fist in there. While under six feet of dirt. I know someone’s got their entire damn fist in there because the Shovelhead’s thinking about how somebody got their entire goddamn fist in there.

(Yeah this is the bit I had to make jokes about because it was that fucking ridiculous. I started this out trying to be respectful. I failed. Miserably. I just can’t fucking do it this is too -- too -- Eternal Hearts-y.)

Like the author just turned to the other people in the credits page and pitched this idea: “guys. Hear me out. What do you think is scarier than being raped or being buried alive?”

“idk what?”

“being raped after being buried alive!”

“That’s a GREAT idea!”

(”Lucy didn’t even break the rules as much as I was willing to let her” Remember that quote? Thank god for that.)

Jean - for that is our poor Shovelhead's name, RIP - seems only mildly concerned about the rape. and the fact it’s still happening.

Like yeah, serious talk, putting my respectful hat on: to be fair, everyone responds to trauma differently. You know how I respond to trauma? I make jokes about it. Like I’m the kind of person to say “what are you gonna do, STAB ME?” for the lols when a guy is pointing a knife at me.

Okay, respectful hat back off, back to edgy humour.

Anyway she’s being fisted by somebody while also six feet underground, somehow, and daydreaming about the guy she’s stalking and about how she’s in love with him, hmm, maybe he had something to do with it? She’s not entirely sure.

(ETA: So an anonymous Discord friend was reading my liveblog and said this:

and I laughed so hard my dog actually pawed at me because she was worried.

Yeah, I’m going to hell, but at least I know I’m taking you guys with me.)

Anyway she starts digging her way out, and I guess she’s still being fisted while she’s digging her way out???? IDK they didn’t say it stopped??? Like that’s gotta make digging your way out difficult.

And then cut to Lucita!

Walking past a protest outside a sex shop. There’s a bunch of Christian protestors outside because they’re bored or something. We get straight back into rapiness with a Dominate:

Damn Lucita, if jizzing your own brains isn't the hottest image you can give a guy, I don't know how what is.

Lucita decides to snack instead of raping him, but does sexually assault him by taking his dick from his pants and leaving it in his hand when he’s unconscious.

Lucita walks into a meeting at a brothel. There are “slaves”. I’m not sure if they’re sex slaves or if they’re actually ghouls, but then again, this is Eternal Hearts so probably both.

She expects Pieterzoon to be there, but he's not. When the others start talking like he's missing, she is completely unconcerned and immediately starts talking as if she knows he's missing.

They move on. Pieterzoon has paid Lucita to assassinate Marcus Vitel. Good fucking luck with that one. Everyone at the meeting is trying to stop her from doing it. Lucita’s like “tough shit he’s already paid me bitch is gonna die”.

Also the Brujah woman present is apparently this scene’s titillation or something because the author loves to remind us about how tight her clothes are and how she's "seductively cuddling" people.

no fucking kidding

I like how the VTM universe goes out of its way to avoid using the terms “son” and “daughter” to avoid the Unfortunate Implications when people inevitably start fucking their Sires

and the author’s like "nah fuck that let’s daddy kink it up.”

Oh and he does it ON TOP OF THE WASHINGTON MONUMENT!! Like gang rape in a churchyard wasn’t edgy enough I guess.

the author can't go a paragraph without reminding us that sex exists and everyone is utterly sex crazed. The bit I blacked out above? That was Lucita daydreaming about hiring a prostitute. Like that’s not erotica, erotica is arousing, this is just voyeurism.

Lucita apparently hasn't yet noticed she's in a porno.

Somebody makes a joke about the Christian protestors gang raping the prostitutes outside. It’s a Ventrue. Of course it is.

Apparently the slave (I guess the word “ghoul” isn’t sexy enough) in the above screenshot is a fucking senator. Pun not intended. She soothes the cranky Brujah by suggesting they get somebody called Torres deported? I have no idea what that has to do with Lucita assassinating Marcus Vitel, but there's almost certainly going to be fucking involved.

(ETA 23/1/21 -- I regret to inform you all that there wasn’t “fucking” involved so much as gang rape. Never mind.)

Lucita and the Brujah guy almost start stabbing each other (so much for that soothing), but somebody has just set the brothel on fire so they have to GTFO.

The mortal senator can't quite fit inside the escape tunnel because her skirt is huge and keeping it on is apparently more important than not dying of smoke inhalation. But it’s okay, she manages it.

The skirt will be important later, unfortunately.

They come to a locked door in the passage. Oh no, whatever will they do?

Will they take a key out of their pocket and unlock it?

Nah, that’s too fucking sensible.

The Brujah that tried to punch Lucita whips out his dick.

Yes.

He actually fucking does that.

Weird flex, but okay.

(ETA 21/1/21 -- I just realised... what if it’s somebody ELSE’S penis he just whipped out? Like the thing was actually just chilling out and he pulls it out the way somebody else pulls out a cucumber. It’s not attached to his body, it’s just THERE?)

Everyone is completely unfazed by this. Both by the fact he whipped his dick out, and the fact he uses it as a fucking key ring.

Like. Is this a habit of his????? APPARENTLY IT IS.

(ETA: Anonymous Discord friend says:

SDFADLFJASDLFJASDF)

They end up in a sewer.

Garinson keeps a key to a sewer on his dick key ring.

(”Lucy didn’t even break the rules as much as I was willing to let her” yeah I just remembered another place more fitting for a sewer key)

THEN!!!

PLOT TWIST!!

The senator suddenly threatens everyone with a lighter!!

After the kindred are done laughing their ass off, she covers herself in whiskey, sets herself on fire and charges them.

I'm sorry but the way it's worded - pin wheeling, cringing - just makes this the funniest shit. It gets even funnier when you remember they’re knee-deep in water. Ever tried to run in water? It’s. not exactly easy. So presumably she’s tripping and stumbling the entire time and somehow still on fire as she does so.

A kindred tries to escape by clawing his way up the wall. He falls. The senator assassinates him by flinging her skirt over his head and sitting on his face. That part of her is also on fire. The skirt and her thighs are on fire.

And I guess they’re obviously not thigh-deep in water any more ‘cause the poor fuck doesn’t survive this.

what a way to fucking go: death by fire pussy.

Everyone panics, except Lucita, who's like "fuck this", cuts off her head, puts out the corpse, then, uh. uses it as a shield against the remaining flames. as you do.

(Between that and the above screenshot, there’s graphic descriptions of what, exactly, the fire is doing to the senator, and how said senator doesn’t give a flying fuck that fire is kinda hurty because she hates vampires that fucking much.)

Lucita meets a Nosferatu who offers to guide her from the sewers. On the next page, we have an illustration of Lucita, in sewage, looking up at the Nosferatu.

You couldn’t possibly make that picture sexy, could you?

Welp the artist went “Challenge accepted!”

So I wanted to show you guys the picture but I didn’t want to get too banned from Tumblr for an Eternal Hearts liveblog, so I went to my friends for help. One of them, @intimidatethevoid​, answered the call to arms:

Well.

This is awkward.

And so she bestowed upon me this glorious, but also cursed, image:

Yeah.

Her shirt’s somehow come off. And she isn’t wearing any knickers. Hence the Filthy Frank sticker.

And that’s gonna wrap up part 1 of my Eternal Hearts liveblog!

For more, like this post in secret shame so that none of your followers have to see it. To cancel me, send angry anon messages and death threats to my inbox.

[one-boring-person]

Only Traitors Consort With The Damned. (Part Seventeen - Final Part)

The Lost Boys x reader

Warnings: blood, injury, swearing

Context: the end of the story (finally)

A/N: ok, so I've finally finished this series, and I'm not gonna lie, it was a lot of fun to write, even though it took me ages to update it😅 I hope that this is a satisfactory ending, and I'd like to thank everyone who's interacted with the story for the support! It means a lot!😊💛

Masterlist

The room is freezing when i finally come to again, my muscles stiff with cold, fingers nearly numb as i try to wriggle them, hoping to get some blood moving in them again. I have to bite my lip to stop myself crying out in pain as my wounds suddenly make themselves known to me, my eyes briefly squeezing shut again as the horrible sensation washes over me, every nerve in my body momentarily on fire as my conscience fully returns to me. Whimpering, I force myself to open my eyes, glancing around the room I’m in once they’ve finally adjusted, blinking a few times when I don’t immediately recognise my surroundings. 

“Oh, thank God you’re awake!” A familiar voice intones from somewhere to my left, the speaker coming over to me as I look towards them.

I’m surprised when I see who it is, not expecting to see him again after the previous events, where I’d nearly gotten him killed.

“D-David?” I croak out, wincing as my throat stings a little, my voice hoarse and broken.

“Yeah, it’s me.” The platinum blonde responds, watching me carefully as I struggle to sit upright, the vampire stepping in to place a hand on my chest, stopping me from doing anything, “Don’t, you’re very badly injured.”

Relaxing back onto what I’m assuming is one of their sofas, I look at him, glad to see he has cleaned up the blood and gore from his body, though his features are still etched with worry, which is the moment when I realise the others aren’t there, and neither is Nico. 

“Wh-where is everyone? What time is it?” I ask him, coughing violently as I finish the questions, trying to fight back the whimpers of pain threatening to leave me as the rough movements irritate my wounds further. 

“It’s an hour or so before dawn. You’ve been out for four hours.” David fills me in, tugging at his gloves, “As for the others, they’re still out chasing Nico. I haven’t heard from them since the Boardwalk.”

My body tenses up as he says this, my concern for all my friends piquing again as I realise that they may still end up dead because of me.

“Oh, God, I’m so sorry, David. I never meant for any of this to happen, I really didn't! I was stupid and now it's gotten you all in trouble. I'm so, so sorry-" I start rambling, only for the vampire to cut me off, his voice gentle as he speaks to me.

"(Y/n), it wasn't your fault. None of this was, so don't tell yourself otherwise. Just relax and let yourself heal, we'll sort things out when you're feeling better." He reassures me, giving me one of his rare, genuine smiles, his blue eyes softening momentarily.

I go to argue, but he simply gives me a look, which shuts me up immediately, a sigh escaping me as I lean back onto the sofa.

"What happened whilst I was out?" I inquire, looking over at him curiously.

"Well, I took you to our sire, who was no help at all, so I took you here and patched you up." David informs me, somewhat irritated at the reminder of his creator.

"Oh, right. Thank you." I smile at him, looking a little confused, "But what about in Santa Carla? Surely there's gonna be some serious repercussions. And what happened to Valentine? Where'd she go?"

"Her? One of the cops took her to the hospital, I think. As for Santa Carla," The platinum blonde looks slightly sceptical, "I reckon it's gonna take some time to go back to normal."

"Shit, I'm really sorry, David. That's gonna make feeding really difficult, isn't it?"

"Yeah, but we've managed before." He shrugs, sitting on his wheelchair and leaning back slightly.

Frowning at my own stupidity, I rest my hands on my stomach, wincing as I remember what exactly happened to the bones and flesh of my left arm, the bandage covering the entire limb from wrist to elbow. Inspecting it, I try my best not to think too much on what the reason behind my painful injury is, hoping that Nico, Marko, Paul and Dwayne will be alright. 

Just as I think this, however, a succession of groans and grunts of exhaustion suddenly fill the air, the voices all heart-rendingly familiar. Surprised and relieved, I struggle to push myself upright, crying out in pain as I fall to do so, waiting instead for the newcomers to come into view. David is quick to get up and go to them, speaking in a hushed tone with them, voice urgent as a dragging sound echoes through the room. The four vampires move around so I can see them, a frown dreading my brow again as I catch sight of the massive figure they're pulling behind them, leaving scarlet marks on the stone floor as the bare skin slides across it. Horror floods me at the sight of this, my heart skipping a beat as I recognise Nico through the blood and gore coating his body, the musculature unmistakable.

Instantly, I try to get up again, David noticing from his place across the room, the vampire signalling at me to stop. Reluctantly, I do as he says, biting my lip tightly as I watch them heave the body onto a pile of blankets nearby, his head lolling back, revealing the bloodied features of my best friend to me. I nearly sob at the sight, the gory light I'm now seeing the werewolf in not something I ever want to see again, though I know he can't help it.

Dwayne, Marko and Paul each shoot me a relieved look before they leave the room, each of them looking incredibly tired from the hours they've spent making sure the werewolf doesn't do anything too bad. David checks him over one last time as he comes over to me, looking apologetic.

"He's going to be fine, there's no serious injuries that won't heal quickly." He fills me in, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly, "I'm gonna go get some sleep with the boys, though. You should, too. Nico isn't going to wake up for a little while, so there's no reason to stay up."

With that, he follows his friends through the tunnel and into their sleeping quarters, leaving me alone in the room with the unconscious form of my friend. Thankfully, I feel the exhaustion creeping up on me again, allowing me to fall back into a dreamless sleep relatively quickly.

*

The sun has just set over the horizon as the boys step out from the cave, the four of them joining Nico and I on the clifftop, a residual warmth still lingering behind, though a brisk ocean breeze blows in to chase the pleasant feel off. Our car stands, ready to go, a little way behind us, Nico just closing the trunk and coming over to me as I turn to the four vampires, smiling sadly at them.

"You're sure you have to go?" Paul asks me, the usually jittery vampire looking downcast for once as he looks at me, the others similarly upset.

"Yeah. The SRS isn't gonna give up, and I don't want you in any more trouble because of me. I've got to go." I remind them, shrugging sadly, as I look them over.

"We don't mind, we'll keep fighting!" Marko tries, the blonde using his usual tactic on me.

Laughing, I shake my head as I go to respond.

"No, you've fought enough for me. I'm not going to stay." 

Each of them looks down, clearly not quite ready to face me, my own emotions quickly catching up to me.

"Where will you go?" Dwayne asks quietly, glancing up at me.

"As far away from here as possible." I reply apologetically, looking to Nico, who also appears relatively upset.

"Will you ever come back?" David inquires, voice soft, though he knows what my answer will be.

"Not until I'm sure it's safe." I chuckle bitterly, "So you better not get yourselves killed in the meantime."

"We'll try." The platinum blonde smiles, before stepping forwards and pulling me into a hug.

Surprised, I wrap my arms around him, smiling as the rest of the boys join us, the four of them crushing me between them as I continue to fight off the tears. We remain like this for a few minutes, relishing the feeling of the physical contact as we bask in each other's company one last time. My chest feels tight as I pull away, knowing that if I stay longer I'll never let go, my eyes wet as I look at them.

"Goodbye, guys. Have a good life." I stammer out, struggling to keep my composure.

"Goodbye, (Y/n). Stay safe and stay alive." David responds, moisture glistening in his own eyes, though he hastily wipes it away.

The others say their farewells, each of them looking as grief-stricken as I feel, tears swiftly starting to wet pale cheeks even as mine do, prompting me to turn away from them, my stride faltering as I go to the car with Nico, the werewolf helping me limp over. As we get there, I look over my shoulder one last time, taking in the four vampires standing on the clifftop, branding the image into my memory, knowing they will always hold a place in my heart.

It's only as Nico pulls away from the Bluff that I finally let myself cry, the tears falling freely now as I leave behind the best life I ever had.

[thegirlwholied]

Cordelia and . . . Honestly anybody, Cordelia is my fave

I’m so excited to get this ask & know my favorite moments *instantly*! I love Cordelia SO much - whether she or Buffy herself is my favorite is a hard call, & as much as I love season 5/early season 6, I really feel the series loses something without Cordelia ~ despite Faith being the other Slayer, Cordelia was so often positioned as Buffy’s rival and challenged her in a way no other character really matches for me. The lack of a later seasons Buffy & Cordelia interaction is the #1 thing BTVSverse missed opportunity imho (Cordelia’s whole season 4 terrible plotline being the most egregious BTVSverse misstep).

my absolute favorite Cordelia moment is her bluff in “Homecoming” (”The point is, I haven't even broken a sweat. See, in the end, Buffy's just the runner-up. I'm the Queen. You get me mad, what do you think I'm gonna do to you?”) & honestly I would watch a whole season/show of Cordelia (or a Cordelia-like character) faking her way through vampire slaying. A close second would be her speech in Angel @ Dennis the Ghost’s mother, but both of those moments are just with villains-of-the-week.

in terms of shipping I *do* root for Cordelia/Angel but never right away as I love Cordelia/Doyle in season one and (while Xander is not a fave) the Cordelia/Xander dynamic was also fun in the early Buffy seasons. & when Wesley first shows up Cordelia’s interest in him makes sense. 

(this is kind of how I am with Buffy ships in general. I do love Buffy/Angel but love even more their dynamic parted & the star-crossed-ness of it all and needing to move on from that Big Love. And I LOVE Spike but he has to reach his “I made a promise to a lady” point before I really *ship* him with Buffy. I even root for Riley at his Parker-punching best.)

Heck, I even enjoy Devon as a Cordelia love interest a la!:

Cordelia: "Devon, I told you I'd be at the dance tonight, but I am not one of your little groupies. I won't be all doe-eyed, looking up at you, standing at the edge of the stage." Devon: "Got it." Cordelia: "So, I'll see you afterwards?" Devon: "Sure. Where do you wanna' meet?" Cordelia: "I'll be standing at the edge of the stage."

Always loved Dingoes Ate My Baby & Cordelia dating the frontman as means of introducing Oz into the Buffyverse! It really fleshed out their high school world.

Buffy is always my ultimate example of ‘where you start the story matters’ as I started simultaneously watching live & watching reruns back when season 6 of Buffy and season 3 of Angel were airing. 

So my ultimate Cordy/Angel moment was the first one I ever saw: the scene in “Billy”. where they’re training with the swords. that was an Influential Scene for me & aside from the swords! sexiness! of it all, I love a) Cordelia insisting on training b) reminding Angel she may need to protect herself from him! c) the excellent character moment of “three years of cheer squad, I only ever had to be shown a move once” ...and I realize this sounds like it is mostly about Cordelia vs. their dynamic but Angel being concerned that Cordelia doesn’t have faith in him saving her & being dismissive about the pom-poms of it all, both of which she counters, gets into everything I loved about how they balanced each other. 

I am also very fond of the s2 Buffy episode Halloween & think it’s notable that Cordelia manages to make Angel laugh, even if he just thinks she’s being ridiculous at the time, when she’s making moves on him while he’s waiting for Buffy! I’ve always enjoyed their interactions in that ep in context of their later friend(relation)ship.

With Doyle it HAS to be the vision-transferring kiss. It’s such a moment. “Too bad we’ll never know” is right. But I do also love the dynamic of the two of them at the bar in the Day That Gets Undone from “I Will Remember You”, commiserating on their probable unemployment & the human!Angel of it all.

I love the kind of friendship Wesley & Cordelia wind up with & my favorite moment between them, far and away, is their classic Buffy/Angel imitation. (also I really need to rewatch season 2-3 Angel; it’s been too long, as I’m realizing no moments with Gunn or Fred or Lorne jump as immediately to mind - but this scene is locked in my memory forever!)

With Xander it’s the moment at prom, after they’re broken up. Getting her the dress is a Big Move, but I love that it doesn’t become a take-him-back moment, just redemptive & kind. “It looks good on you.”/”Well, duh.” - & it ends with that. 

I also really like that Cordelia & Willow become phone buddies though there’s no one particular standout moment I can think of. I DO wish we’d gotten more interaction between Cordelia & Spike as their one scene in season 5 is so fun (as is the episode of Supernatural with Charisma Carpenter & James Marsters ~ I wasn’t even watching Supernatural that season, but I made sure to catch that one!)

If I had to choose I might love the Cordelia & Buffy frenemy relationship the most though. I am always here for more female friendships in all media, & I love how for all the cattiness & fun & rivalry & complexity between them, it comes down to, no, questions asked, when Buffy needs help in “Helpless”:

“Cordelia, could you please drive me home?”/ “Of course.”

That’s not just a moment that’s always stuck in my memory, or that I love, but downright one of the most important moments of the entire show for me (& any show with a dynamic like that, I could watch any day!)

[lightpunster]

Ambiguous-Immortal-Teen Relationships: A (Very Long) Precedent-based Plea for Tolerance

Hey so I know this is going to make people mad but I need to get if off my chest. We all know that pedophiles have organized and invaded a lot of social media sites (Tumblr, Twitter, etc.) and are attempting to label themselves as an oppressed group. This has made a lot of fandoms increasingly vigilant and intolerant of any content that could be construed as pedophilia. While I condemn pedophilia and agree that we need to fight this movement, I am concerned that a lot of the hyper-vigilance and virtue signaling I have seen in this regard is misguided. Let me explain. The fandoms I am referring to are for animated shows, whose casts are often comprised primarily of teenagers. While there are adults present in these shows, I have seen little content pairing them with the underage cast in this context (although I acknowledge it exists). Instead what I see a lot is pairing of underage main characters with characters who appear to be a similar age, but are “ambiguously immortal”. Some examples of this are the ship Stevinel from Steven Universe, which pairs a 17 year old boy with an immortal ageless alien, and Rosegarden from RWBY, which pairs a 16 year-old girl with a 14 year-old boy who, in addition to his own soul, has the reincarnated soul of another man inhabiting his body.

Now to some of you, especially those of you familiar with discourse around these shows, these ships may sound like pedophilia; and I could argue that despite clear age differences, they have similar values and experiences and are at similar stages in development and blah blah blah. However, I am always worried about these arguments (on their own anyway) because I know these are pedophile talking point in real life; “They acted older!” or “I have a young soul!” are NOT EXCUSES for pedophilia (there are no excuses, get help). So why should fictional media be any different?

Do any of you remember the YA series Percy Jackson and the Olympians? In one of these books, the titular Percy, 16, is trapped on an island with a teenage-looking girl named Calypso who falls in love with him and they kiss. It turns out that she is an immortal Titan who has been cursed to live on this island forever, falling in love over and over with the teenage guys who wash up on her island. What about the animated series Avatar the Last Airbender? Aang, 12, is the reincarnation of thousands of past Avatar, and those past lives watch over him and he can commune with them through meditation. In the series, he falls in love with and kisses Katara, a 14-year old girl, who he later marries. Multiple of his past lives and his next life are also shown to have relationships with teenagers. Any Twilight fans out there? Remember when 100+ year old vampire Edward made out with 17-year old Bella? That was mainstream for a while. I know we’ve got some Adventure Time watchers out there. Remember when 800+ year-old candy-elemental Princess Bubblegum kissed 14-year old Finn in season 3? I think she actually kissed him twice in that season. Finally, I think it’s a little less mainstream, but in YA novel Artemis Fowl and the Time Paradox, 14-year old boy genius Artemis and 80 year old elf Holly Short (80 is basically a young adult elf) travel back in time. Because of some weird timey-wimey stuff, Artemis is “aged up” to 18 and Holly is aged back to her 30s (equivalent of “adolescant”/teenager) although they retain all of their memories. And you guessed it; they kiss. If you think all of this media is pedophile propaganda, then my argument is not going to convince you so you might as well leave. However, I hope that some of you are thinking “Wait a minute, I remember that! Why didn’t I think it was wrong at the time?” Well I’m here to tell you that it was not wrong. All of the things I’ve just mentioned do not actually exist. Not only are they fictional characters in works of fiction, but the actual mechanics which enable them to happen do not exists and are impossible; there are no immortal aliens or titans, no reincarnation, no vampires, none of it. So when you call those things pedophilia, a sexual attraction of humans above the age of 18 to humans below 18, it is not correct legally or morally. Essentially, I believe that when we talk about magical beings who live a long time, it makes no sense to judge a relationship appropriate or inappropriate because the other character is under 18. For some relationships, it will be fine and healthy and beautiful; for others, it would be toxic and dangerous if they were 17, 18, 19, 35, etc. Age is an ok metric for teenage and young adult humans when it comes to maturity and ability to avoid being taken advantage of (less good for older adults, but of course absolutely critical for children). However, it does not transcend all fictional species or scenarios when you start throwing things like magic and immortality into the mix. So all I’m asking is that when you see content for ships likes these, whether cannon or fan-created, please do not rush to call those creators pedophiles purely because of age of the characters; make a judgement base on the character of the characters: are they really toxic for each or might they actually be good together? And if you decide that the relationship IS toxic or IS pedophilia, feel free to point that out...but make sure you are criticizing the ART, not the PERSON. I’d like to remind everyone that art is not reality; you may FEEL differently, but actual evidence has shown that depictions of pedophilia do not encourage pedophilia any more than playing violent video games encourages violence, and everyone has a right to enjoy media in their own way. Save your energy for fighting real pedophiles, not imaginary ones.

[ifeveristoday]

well, that escalated quickly

The first card of the Major Arcana, The Fool is generally a positive card indicating new beginnings. If it appears in your readings it could mean that you are on the verge of an exciting, unexpected new adventure. Your new adventure will bring you along a path which may require you to make a leap of faith but you will grow as a result of this new experience. This new adventure could be a literal new adventure, like travelling to a place you’ve never been before. The change this card can bring will usually be a welcome one. While the Fool is generally a positive card, its appearance in a reading can also indicate that you need to take the time to look before you leap. [x]

Even when reversed, the Fool is an indicator of newness; as well as the purity and open-hearted energy of a child. This is generally considered a positive card, with the caveat that it's important to take time to be sure that you are "looking where you're going." In reversal, The Fool can show that there is a need for a new beginning, but that there is some hesitancy about making it happen. [x] 

When the Fool card is reversed, you are encountering an unfinished side of yourself, a part still caught in the shadows of ignorance or immaturity. An emotional reflex or psychological attitude could be holding you back from responding authentically and naturally.

Release yourself from any dogmas or taboos so your natural truthfulness and instinct for right action can be restored. [x]

Light some incense and find a crushed velvet vest and let’s get to issue 16 of Buffy.

Spoilers, as always underneath the cut. Also long and semi-rambly so if you’re new to this tumblr...yeah. 

Short version: There’s a thing I’m not sure I like yet, the usual layer cake of THEMES and how it all ties together, and good character stuff.

Wow. So they’re really going there with Buffy and Evil! Xander. But it’s not like the comic hasn’t left crumbs of a potential -- something happening between them. Vamp! Xander’s first confrontation with Buffy was a crude sexual come-on, which she rebuffed very quickly, and then when he had his soul, there was an ambiguous hug between them in Hellmouth. Xander’s feelings about Buffy have always been pretty clear. 

And while I’m not thrilled that in the year 2020 we still can’t have a platonic relationship between Buffy and Xander (like, I joke about this being a Point to the reboot that Joss insisted on, but of course that’s just speculation. But come on. He totally would), it’s not like the comic was not giving clues, clunky though some of them may be. Buffy’s Slayer dream of Vamp! Xander and Vamp! Her, Robin’s oddly insistent interrogation of Buffy’s feelings for Xander, the dinosaur gift of Zeppo, and Buffy’s own ambivalence toward Robin as a real potential boyfriend. 

Issue 14 (which I still haven’t written a thorough post about) showcases (not explicitly written as such, but the characteristics are there) a PTSD-afflicted Buffy, who has lost both of her best friends in a matter of weeks. She’s not on good terms with her mother, Giles is still weird after his descent into magically induced MRA-ness and not exactly comforting her, and having to accept the reality of Kendra being a Slayer as well. There’s a lot of anxiety, jealousy, and survivor’s guilt thrown in there as well, and we all know Buffy’s favorite thing to do when she’s going through a lot of pain: ISOLATE HERSELF. 

And then here’s Robin, telling her he’s on her side and is a friendly face and Buffy seizes that emotional life line and decides, well if I can’t like myself (this is referenced in Issue 15), Robin will do it for me. It’s a lonely, but understandable grasp at something normal and not...the reality of her present life.

Except Robin realizes he can’t be Buffy’s emotional support almost-boyfriend, and that Buffy has a martyr complex where she can’t be just the hero but also the villain in her own story - she takes on all of the fault but none of the help and love that does exist in her life.

He tells her that one of her problems is that she just doesn’t like herself.

And it’s a hard truth for Buffy to bear but she admits it.

Issue 16 dips into Buffy’s mixed up feelings re: love and connection and the thread that ties it together is the tarot card Jenny pulls from her spread to read to Dolly, her cat.

Best reveal of the reboot so far, no I won’t take any objections. Her cat! Is named Dolly! Possibly after Dolly Parton, stealth producer of BtVS!

Jenny, lone human adult voice of Reason, pulls the upside down Fool and I’ve included three meanings of it up above. The reason why I think it’s a common thread for this issue is because in Buffy’s slayer dream where she’s riding Zeppo the Symbolism? What Symbolism Dinosaur with Xander (with some terrible punning), Buffy says that they can’t let Zeppo drive, he’s too young and doesn’t know how to get to where they’re going. Xander replies, “Do you even remember where we’re going?”

And prior to this Buffy worries that they’re going too fast and to slow down. 

This could signify a number of things - definitely new beginnings with Evil! Xander and the changed nature of his relationship to Buffy, Buffy’s personal fear that she doesn’t know what’s happening, only that it is too fast, and the fact they’re both so young. And for the moment, Xander will forever be this young. And with his reputation as being the ‘funny’ one, Xander could also be considered a Fool. 

He’s in a state of being unfinished - he’s never going to experience the trials of regular adulthood, the personal milestones a human being has. And Buffy is unfinished in that she’s not done growing up, but she is also the Slayer, which requires a level of sacrifice that other girls her age wouldn’t experience.

Jenny pulling this card - well, there’s the unfinished nature of her relationship with Giles, they’re broken up but still pining over each other, and the fact that she doesn’t seem to have stayed in touch with anyone in the Scoobies? And her only confidante seems to be her cat. Which, no judgement, cats are good listeners.

Dolly is also a good detector of Ye Olde Supernatural Bullshit, as she senses something bad behind Jenny’s all of a sudden visitor, and Hulk! Giles a few issues back.

It is of course, Xander, who is gleefully pleased that it was that easy to trick Jenny into inviting him in.

Fade into black- sort of, as the next step is Xander playing mind games via text.

Right after Buffy has her weird dinosaur dream, she tries to google meanings of it, as well as sending Willow texts in a long chain of non replied thread, updating her about what’s been happening in Sunnydale in her absence. I noticed she used a similar - “I’ll be here for you” in her message to Rose, and I think that’s Buffy’s way of changing. She wants to be there for her people, instead of avoiding them.

And she gets a text (Miss me?) from Xander, which prompts her to run to Giles and Kendra. 

This is a neat(?) reference to how Xander got catfished by Drusilla when she texted him from Buffy’s phone. God, the way this sentence sounds out of context to an TV canon fan.

ANYWAY.

Buffy states that Xander died the night the Hellmouth closed, and they had a candlelight vigil and his parents barely leave the house - which makes me think while Hank Summers is a bastard in every ‘verse, Boom! has a good dad for Robin, Joyce and Eric for Buffy, and apparently good parents for Willow and Xander as well. Yay.

Kendra, who is more objective than Buffy and Giles can be regarding Xander, theorizes that Xander’s disappearance might not be death in a final sense, but rather his soul disappearing. Which causes the question, where has his body been this whole time? Also, I see that I Robot, You Jane easter egg, Jordie.

Setting Jenny’s house on fire, that’s what. Giles gets a similarly upsetting text on his phone, and they run to her house. Buffy and Kendra immediately throw themselves into save the cat (and Jenny!) mode and run into Evil! Xander. Quite literally - Xander grabs Kendra by the neck and throws her out of the window from the second floor - don’t worry, she survives.

We can’t be fridging the POC this early, after all.

Then it’s Xander and Buffy’s first glimpse of each other since Hellmouth, and standard enemy banter ensues - Xander says it’s just them and Buffy snaps that it’s only in his dreams. Then the staircase starts cracking due to the fire’s heat and Buffy’s thisclose to falling off when Xander grabs her, and in his human mask tells her that it could just be them together, if she wants it. Buffy takes Kendra’s advice to stop feeling and just think, and kicks Xander in a jump with both her feet aimed at his chest. Also she says she’d rather die than let that happen, which...I really hope aren’t famous last words.

The fool card flutters down and lands on Buffy’s forehead, reminding her that she’s on a rescue mission for Jenny. Who is nowhere to be found, but Dolly leaps into Buffy’s arms, and she carries her out.

Giles, Kendra and Buffy reconvene at Giles’s and try to figure out why Xander targeted Jenny. 

Giles, who started the issue being a concerned mentor has grown smaller and less confident toward the end as he asks Buffy and Kendra to find Jenny. Buffy vows that they’re going to make Xander pay. Giles sadly agrees and then leaves to show Dolly the garden.

Let me pause a moment to cry about the fact that Giles is showing Jenny’s cat the garden.

Kendra and Buffy bond, sincerely, for the first time since Kendra made her appearance. Sister slayers, fuck yeah! Also, I love Kendra’s characterization and I hope she stays for a long time. And not die.

There’s a thawing there as each switch positions - Kendra tells Buffy it’s okay that she feels the way she feels, as Buffy tells her, no, she’s right, Xander isn’t the boy she knew, and to treat him like he’s just a regular vampire.

Then she admits she’s not sure if she misses Xander, or if it’s something else, to which Kendra replies, “I think when you know, you know.”

And Buffy asks her like her and Rose - and Kendra confirms it.

Just as Kendra’s words end the issue, Willow - who could be OG timeline Willow, or an Alternate Verse Willow, comes into the light and holds Rose’s hand.

DRAAAAMA.

So. Xander and Buffy heading toward something, Kendra/Rose confirmed, Giles has now adopted Dolly, Jenny’s status: Currently Unknown.

And Willow?

Though with the Fool, there’s that meaning of new adventures and travelling to a place you’ve never been before. That sums up Willow’s current journey so far.

[wanderingandfound]

Please tell me more about umbrellas as a hill-to-die-on? I am honestly intrigued

In response to this post (sorry for the late reply I had work).

So, for context, I am from the Pacific Northwest, hereafter denoted the PNW. For our purposes* we will define that as the part of North America from northern California to British Columbia and between the Cascade Range** and the Coast.

[Image is a geologic map marking the Pacific Mountain System in green, the Columbia Plateau Province in red, and the Major Cascade Range Volcanoes with triangles. Unfortunately the map does not include Canada, because it was created by the USGS and their effort stops at the border apparently.]

Under a cut for length. (Sorry not sorry I lack concision.)

There are many aspects of the PNW that echo “home” when my soul rings, but the most prominent of them is the rain. [Here was going to be stats on rainfall and rainy days in Portland, Seattle, and Vancouver, both increasing in that order. However, whatever site I found that trivia on is now unfindable, and I have a dozen tabs with disagreeing stats in part because different areas of the same city get different weather and the source of these stats seem to be NOAA but I cannot find the data either because nothing is static on the world wide web or because the current administration doesn’t care for records from public research to be accessible to the public. So.] The thing about rain here is not that we get a lot of it, these cities*** have annual averages that are only around 36-40 inches (90-100 centimeters). The thing is that it’s spread out over 150+ days. In comparison NYC gets 50 inches of rain over 122 days and Mobile, Alabama gets 66 inches in 115 days. Some parts of Hawaii get over 45 inches of rain in a single week. 

Essentially, if it’s a rainy day, and 41% of our days are rainy, we get an average of .25 inches, or .635 centimeters. That is not a lot of rain. What we don’t get? Thunderstorms.**** So big picture? I can go for a walk in the rain in a windbreaker and it will probably take a few hours for the rain to soak through. If I have my laptop in a padded case in a canvas backpack I can walk to the bus stop, wait for the bus even if it isn’t covered, take the bus, and then walk to my destination without being concerned about my laptop getting wet. This means that umbrellas really aren’t worth it. There are better uses for your hands than a stick that you then need to deal with inside. A coat with a hood will do. If it’s raining extra hard and you’re really concerned you can pack your bag so that the important things are at the center and so will be less likely to get damp. So nobody from here uses umbrellas.

Now, I went to college in the Midwest and the only kind thing I have been able to say about the Midwest is that they have awesome thunderstorms. They have no mountains, not enough trees and very few evergreens, too many bugs, completely deficient in moss, it’s either well below freezing and bone dry or swelteringly hot and humid with only two weeks of autumn if you’re lucky, but at least there are thunderstorms.

Within the first three days I was on campus it rained such that I was soaked through in ten seconds and I was wetter than I would have been standing in the rain for two hours at home. I had to spend the next few hours touring campus in wet clothes before I could go back to my dorm to change.

During my second year at school I stood on the porch of my dorm for a couple minutes taking video of a thunderstorm. My phone got so wet that even after taking out the battery and putting it in a bag of rice over night, the bottom of my screen stopped working so I had to learn Android’s gesture typing because without the space bar and only some of the bottom row of keys I had to rely on autocorrect to predict what I was saying.***** I ended up getting a new phone at the end of that year because the carrier that worked in 2008 middle of nowhere PNW didn’t work in 2018 middle of nowhere Midwest.

Third year of college I saw my physics friend from elsewhere in the PNW walking across campus with an umbrella. I told him how betrayed I felt. He said something sensible about protecting his laptop or something. I probably scoffed at the practicality.

Then I dropped out of school to work on my health. During that time I went to Montreal to visit a friend. While I was waiting for a shuttle at the airport a very kind hijabi came up and shared her umbrella with me. I don’t remember what we talked about but my heart still glows at the kindness.

Then I went back to the Midwest school and continued to scorn umbrellas. Even though yes, while the distance between my dorm and the library was remarkably short it was still long enough to destroy my laptop or the old ILL books in my backpack. In the PNW the rainy season is the end of September through the beginning of May.† In the Midwest the rainy season is the warm season (hence all the bugs).‡ This led to my only pair of sandals getting kinda ruined. Still don’t see the point in umbrellas.

So there you have it. I acknowledge that there are parts of the world where umbrellas serve an important purpose. I have had my heart warmed by a person using their umbrella. And I refuse to own§ and use an umbrella. This is the hill I have chosen to stand my ground on. I will not back down.

Fin.

* Many people do not include northern California in the PNW. Most definitions include all of Oregon and Washington as well as states further east like Idaho. That doesn’t matter here.

** Because I am from the PNW, “mountain” and “volcano” are synonymous to me. I am used to being able to see at least one isolated mountain surrounded by rolling foothills on a clear day, although clear days are rare. The child’s drawing of a mountain, the platonic ideal of a mountain, the Lonely Mountain from The Hobbit. This is what “mountain” means to me. So while I have driven across them numerous times, I have yet to be impressed by The Rocky Mountains. It’s just high altitude! Where do they begin and end?

*** There is actually a rainforest in the PNW and in that rainforest a town that gets 101+ inches of rain over 212 days. The town is named Forks and became infamous after Stephenie Meyer set her vampire romance there, because she wanted her protagonist from the desert to be miserable and her vampires safe from sparkling.

**** Okay we do get thunderstorms once in a while. Usually at night far in the distance. I still have fond memories of running out to play in the rain with a group of friends at 14 because it was raining hard enough to soak through our clothes after a few minutes and we rightfully deemed this an event to celebrate by fully immersing ourselves.

***** As I type this on a laptop where the central keys don’t work so I need to use a onscreen keyboard and a mouse every third letter I long for functional technology.

† My mom says traditional wisdom holds that you shouldn’t hold an outdoor wedding until after the Fourth of July though.

‡ When my favorite math teacher and advisor overheard me saying this he disagreed that the Midwest had a “rainy season”. But look, the snow in the winter doesn’t count as rain. Also, this means that the grass was dead at the same time the trees were dead and there was no moss and the Midwest is so brown in the winter I couldn’t stand it, I need the green.

§ Full disclosure when I was ~7 I owned a paint-in-between-the-lines umbrella. My mom always reminded me not to open umbrellas inside because it’s bad luck. There is a chance I may still own the umbrella even though I am positive it is broken. This does not affect my stance on umbrellas.

[mediaeval-muse]

Book Review

The Rook. By Daniel O’Malley. New York: Back Bay Books, 2012.

Rating: 3/5 stars

Genre: urban fantasy, paranormal

Part of a Series? Yes, The Chequy Files #1

Summary: "The body you are wearing used to be mine." So begins the letter Myfanwy Thomas is holding when she awakes in a London park surrounded by bodies all wearing latex gloves. With no recollection of who she is, Myfanwy must follow the instructions her former self left behind to discover her identity and track down the agents who want to destroy her. She soon learns that she is a Rook, a high-ranking member of a secret organization called the Chequy that battles the many supernatural forces at work in Britain. She also discovers that she possesses a rare, potentially deadly supernatural ability of her own. In her quest to uncover which member of the Chequy betrayed her and why, Myfanwy encounters a person with four bodies, an aristocratic woman who can enter her dreams, a secret training facility where children are transformed into deadly fighters, and a conspiracy more vast than she ever could have imagined.

***Full review under the cut.***

Content/Trigger Warnings: violence, blood, body horror

Overview: I can’t quite remember how this book fell under my radar, but it seemed like an interesting premise, so I gave it a go. Initially, it started out as a 4 star read for me - I liked the humor, the worldbuilding, and the dynamics between the main character’s pre- and post-amnesia self. Over time, however, this dropped to a three star, mostly because I felt like the tone never changed to fit the gravity of the situation, and the mystery in general was somewhat of a letdown. Still, I think that anyone who liked more light-hearted fantasy or dark humor might enjoy this book, so I recommend reading it for yourself if you’re not into grimdark supernatural worlds.

Writing: O’Malley’s prose is fitting for the type of book he’s trying to write. It’s fairly economical, and focuses more on evoking a humorous, snarky tone than an eerie atmosphere. While some may enjoy the humor and snark, I personally found it to be a double edged sword: I liked that O’Malley kept the mood light and avoided reveling in the darker aspects of his fantasy world, but I also don’t think emotionally heavy moments were given enough weight. Characters would crack jokes or be snarky at inappropriate times, often in ways that sabotaged their own goals, and it seemed like O’Malley was trying to make scenes more awkward or funny than was plausible.

I also think there were some throw-away lines or scenes that really showcased that this book was a man writing about a woman. It wasn’t so bad that it made me want to put the book down (I don’t think O’Malley was being sexist or anything, more like he was trying to be funny and the joke just didn’t land for me), it was annoying to read about Myfanwy thinking about her breasts, or about an invasive gynocological exam (even if one made sense in context, I didn’t need to be reminded that doctors were poking around in Myfanwy’s vagina).

I do think that O’Malley made a good decision by having a lot of his infodumps take the form of a letter or “encyclopedia entry.” Pre-amnesia Myfanwy writes letters and explanations of her job, her colleagues, etc. to help post-amnesia Myfanwy make sense of the supernatural world around her. Though I sometimes found reading all these texts to be exhausting, I do think that if an author is going to provide so much background information, he/she/they should do so in an interesting way that makes sense in context. The letters and entries, in my opinion, made sense in the context of the narrative, and O’Malley also made the task of writing all those things feel like something pre-amnesia Myfanwy would do.

Plot: The main plot follows Myfanwy Thomas, an administrator of sorts who loses her memory while investigating the return of her employer’s major supernatural enemy and its infiltration into their ranks. I really liked the idea of a post-amnesiac trying to pick up the pieces of her old life while keeping her amnesia under wraps just in case those closest to her are traitors, and I liked that readers able to learn about the world along with the main character.

However, I do think that not enough suspense or urgency was placed on the plot. Myfanwy didn’t seem to be in a rush to find out who had erased her memories and who tried to kill her, and scenes didn’t necessarily build on one another in a way that felt like a mystery was unfolding. For example, Myfanwy uncovers one traitor seemingly by accident, and doesn’t really bother to press them for more information when they let slip that there’s more to uncover. I wanted to follow Myfanwy as she uncovered more and more clues, but it seemed like a lot of things were happening at random until the end, when she solves the mystery and we get several pages of monologue that explains how everything happened behind the scenes (rather than on the page). I was kind of let down, to be honest, because I didn’t feel like I was being given the opportunity to guess what was going on myself.

I also wish a little more had been done with the letters past-Myfanwy wrote to present-Myfanwy. There was a sweetness to them, as past-Myfanwy seems to have great sympathy for her future self and expresses a lot of fear regarding what’s going to happen. But mostly, the letters served as infodumps, and I wish they had been used - at least sometimes - to spur some emotional growth in present-Myfanwy, or had mirrored what was going on in the present day more closely.

I also wish there had been a little more drama at the Chequy - the supernatural organization where Myfanwy works. Post-amnesia Myfanwy seems to be able to walk in and play her part with no one the wiser, which was a little implausible given that her personality is drastically different from before her amnesia and she’s so awkward that it was a wonder no one suspected something was amiss. I wanted to be a little more concerned that someone would figure out that Myfanwy was without her memory, and that it posed a threat to Myfanwy’s life. Instead, that never seemed to be an issue, just a pretense for a lot of awkwardness.

Characters: Myfanwy, our heroine, is essentially two different people before and after her amnesia. Pre-amnesia Myfanwy is shy, quiet, and something of a Type A personality who never uses her supernatural abilities unless it’s an emergency. Post-amnesia Myfanwy is assertive, snarky, and uses her abilities more liberally. Both, however, are extremely good at managing teams and keeping track of mountains of administrative paperwork. I liked that O’Malley turned “administration” into a useful skill - I feel like too often, female characters are only seen as useful if they can fight, and while Myfanwy does some of that, she also makes clear that it is her administrative abilities that make the difference in all kinds of situations. I do wish Myfanwy’s wisecracking was turned down a little, though, as it seemed to be inappropriate at times. I also wish Myfanwy had undergone more character development; she doesn’t change much over the course of the novel, except to realize that she likes her job. I wanted a little more out of her, not just a wisecracking boss who can take charge of a situation before stumbling her way through a fairly simple investigation.

The most interesting characters, at least for me, were the other members of the Chequy. The Chequy is run by a “Court,” which is made up of highly ranked officials with supernatural powers. I liked the creativity that O’Malley showed when designing them - Gestalt is a single consciousness in 4 bodies, Aldrich is a vampire, Eckhart is a chain-smoking military veteran who can control metal, etc. I do wish more was done with these characters to make their motivations more clear or more important to the overall narrative, and I wish they were a little more intelligent (they never suspect anything is amiss with Myfanwy, and even they can’t figure out anything useful about their enemy, despite Myfanwy practically stumbling onto information at random).

Myfanwy does have some female friends that I think could have been more interesting. Ingrid, her personal assistant, is something of a confidant, and I wish more had been done with that relationship to explore things like the tension between powered and non-powered people in the Chequy. Shantay, an official from the American branch of the Chequy, also had a lot of potential, and I liked that she and Myfanwy became fast friends (though I do think they dropped their professionalism a little too quickly). I wish Shantay had stuck around longer, perhaps to balance out Myfanwy’s flaws and shortcomings. Bronwyn, Myfanwy’s sister, should have been more important than she was. Bronwyn tracks down her sister after living her entire life knowing that the government took her away, and I think there’s a devotedness in that that wasn’t fully taken advantage of. The sisters’ reunion wasn’t very emotional, and Bronwyn mainly acted as a liability for when Myfanwy was threatened by her enemies.

Speaking of which, the big bad of the book - a group called the Grafters - were hardly impressive. While I liked the idea of the Chequy going up against people who could alter bodies and create monsters that resisted supernatural powers, the Grafters seemed to be invisible for most of the book, never showing themselves but sending agents to do their dirty work. I never really understood what the Grafters wanted or why they were doing things, so they felt less like a threat and more like a simple bad group of people that does bad things.

TL;DR: The Rook has an interesting premise and some creative worldbuilding, but ultimately suffers from a lack of a driving plot and too much concern with its own cleverness.

[angelacolsin]

Tempting Eternity Excerpt

So, I promised a short while back to have another excerpt from my upcoming book, Tempting Eternity, posted because progress has been going so slowly in recent months.  So here it is!  @cramzydays and @mariaslozak were both asking for this as well, so here you go, guys!  It’s short, and may need a little more context (not to mention edited from it’s original form to make a little more sense when the rest of the book hasn’t been read yet), but I hope you guys enjoy it regardless!  I’d also like to take this chance to say thanks for the support!  It’s been sorely needed!  :)

♦ ♦ ♦

Isadora had never truly understood the words sexual frustration, or why some of her friends seemed so annoyed by it.

But after spending three days away from Mathias, she felt like a fucking expert.

Ever since arriving in Sutrelle, her newfound interest in activities of a physical nature had driven her up a wall, and if she'd known imagining such intimacies would make her so … restless, she never would've parted ways with him.

Still, the longer she waited for Mathias to arrive, the worse her worries seemed to get, leaving her staring out over the ocean in between sporadic bouts of pacing until his voice caught her by surprise.

“Isadora?”

Gasping, she quickly spun around to spy the vampire standing only ten feet away—and somehow, he seemed more handsome than she recalled.  Whether it was his intense, silver gaze, or the fact that he hadn't shaved, her heart fluttered just taking in his visage.

As for clothing, it seemed he'd taken the practical route as well, wearing a simple white button down and black slacks.  The garments weren't form fitting, but still outlined his muscular physique well enough to paint a picture she personally enjoyed, and the mere sight was more frustrating than expected.

She'd never interacted with a male who'd captured her interests before, and keeping him in the dark over the matter instead of acting on instinct felt unnatural, even pointless.

But considering the inherent oddity of their relationship, it seemed like a good idea to be careful for the time being, and thankfully, she didn't have to search for an alternative subject.

Instead, Mathias curiously asked, “Are you wearing the potion that masks your scent?”

“I am, though it only lasts a few hours at a time.  But I have plenty left, and I can make more.”

Enlightened, the vampire nodded, lips parting as if ready to comment further.  But at the last moment, something down the beach captured her full attention, and it was the biggest reason she'd wanted Mathias to join her at that particular spot.

Wasting no time, she rushed over to grab his hand with the words, “Oh, come quick, she's here!”

The announcement put a confused look in his silver eyes, yet he allowed her to pull him along, moving for several meters down the beach before coming to an abrupt stop and pointing with the words, “There, look!”

Glancing back, she watched Mathias follow the direction with his eyes to a spot only ten meters away where, emerging from the surf rushing around their feet, was the largest sea turtle she'd ever encountered.

With vibrant orange markings upon her shell and crown, the animal was nine feet long from head to tail, slowly crawling over the sand with the intentions of locating a suitable spot to nest.

Releasing Mathias' hand, Isadora approached the reptile to crouch at her side and announce, “She's looking for a place to lay her eggs, and there's quite a few!”

In response, the vampire stared at the animal as if stunned, remarking, “I had no idea sea turtles could get so big.”

Surprised, Isadora asked, “No? I mean I'm three centuries old, and she's the biggest I've ever seen, but you're five thousand!”

Smirking, he countered, “That doesn't mean I've spent much time with wildlife.”

Giggling, she decided that point was fair enough, then waved him in closer with the words, “Come say hello!”

Hesitating, Mathias admitted, “I'm not sure I want to bother her.”

“You won't,” Isadora explained.  “Normally, your presence would make her decide to find another spot, but I'm here, and she trusts me.  So come give her a pat!”

After another moment of deliberation, Mathias must've decided she was right because he finally did just that.  Getting within arm's reach, he crouched to place a palm against the turtle's head—which was big enough for two hands.

In response, the animal raised it against his palm, eyes closing as if enjoying the contact.  It was an endearing sight, though Isadora's heart didn't lurch until she realized the reaction put a smile on Mathias' face.

It wasn't the first time he'd shown off the handsome expression, but it seemed even more alluring now, making it difficult to keep her mind on the present.  So when the turtle returned her attention to the surf and snagged some seaweed washing up with the water, Isadora didn't hesitate to use it as a distraction.

“That's not food, silly!” Tugging the weeds away, she giggled and added, “You like crab and jellyfish, remember?”

Following up her playful reprimand with a kiss to the reptile's snout, she sat back and asked Mathias, “Isn't she beautiful?”

Glancing up at the vampire, her grin quickly faded in realizing he was watching her with a studious light in his silver eyes as he replied softly, “She certainly is.”

Somehow, it was difficult to know whether he was actually referring to the turtle, heat blooming in her cheeks over the intensity of that mirror-like gaze as the swarm of butterflies in her stomach went wild.  The most handsome man she'd ever met was now staring at her as if she was the only thing worth beholding, scrambling her thoughts until she nearly leaned over to kiss him.

She even had to question her reason for hesitating, unable to recall why giving into her urges would be a bad idea.

Thankfully, her forgetfulness offered Mathias enough time to clear his throat and return them both to the present by stating, “But I trust sitting on a beach talking to turtles isn't all you've been doing for the past three days.”

“Huh?” she asked dumbly, uncertain why he was talking about turtles until she looked down to see the one sitting between them again.  “Oh!  No, of course not. I just found her yesterday and was amazed by her size.  But I have been checking on her because the water temperature is colder than what she needs, and these animals are endangered in Sutrelle.  Sadly, without warmer sand, all her offspring will be male, too, meaning … ”

Realizing she was rambling, Isadora looked up to make sure Mathias wasn't bored by all the little details.  Yet he seemed to be hanging on every word, so she drew out in conclusion, “You know, that's not good for procreation.”

“No, that wouldn't be helpful, and I hope your efforts give them a chance.”  With that said, he waved a hand in her direction and added, “But I'm honestly more curious about your needs.”

She blinked.  “My needs?”

Nodding, he pointed out, “You've been here for three days now, and no one's heard a word until you summoned me here.  So … how have you been?”

Somehow, the question sounded awkward, as if coming from a man who wanted to pass off an air of neutrality to hide genuine concern.

The thought made her grin. “You weren't worried, were you?”

Proving she'd nailed it, he rolled his eyes and muttered chidingly, “Isadora … .”

“Sorry!” she rushed out with a grin, deciding not to tease him further if only because it was important to finally reveal the truth.

And yet, she hesitated. Several meters down the shore was a fisherman's pier from which a number of humans and elves were now heading in their general direction.  Perhaps the group wouldn't intrude, but they'd likely come within earshot, and she didn't want rumors to start circulating before they'd even had a chance to figure things out.

So she stood with the words, “I've been fine, but … I need to talk to you alone, Mathias, and there's a group of people nearby who might overhear.”

Standing with her, the vampire offered a curious look, though he seemed to be aware of their unwitting company because he remarked, “I know, I can hear them.”

“Really?  I didn't know vampires could hear that well.”

“We don't, but our senses are tuned to blood, and their combined heartbeats are like a drum to me.”

Though the comment made sense, it also served as a reminder that he would know when her own heart was racing—and she was fairly certain it'd been going at top speed since he'd arrived.

Still, if he thought anything was off, he hadn't mentioned it, nor did he bring it up now, inquiring instead, “So where would you like to go?”

Again, her heart thudded, but discretion was now a lost cause.  He'd soon know the reason for her frantic pulse, and she was too anxious to concern herself with hiding it any longer.

All that mattered now was answering his question, and hoping he'd react well to the news.

[layla256]

Key to Her Heart Chapter 1/52: Halloween

So, some context first. My friends and I decided to do a 52 fanfic challenge this year, one prompt each week. The only rule is that you must adhere to the prompt, one post a week, and they all must be in the same universe. So, for example, if you have been writing marvel fanfic all year, but you think a prompt would be GREAT for Supernatural, you have to somehow fit the Supernatural universe into the MCU. 

Now, because I hate myself, I decided I was going to write an entire series consecutively with only a basic outline of my AU and no knowledge about the future prompts.

KILL ME.

But, either way, I think this’ll be a fun adventure into writing for me. So behold the first in my Spuffy AU Key to Her Heart. I’ll probably post this on AO3 and EF as well.

The prompt this time was:  Our hero (or heroine) loses his memory.   Who will help him find his way back?

And doesn’t that just scream “Halloween episode”?

WARNING: At one point at the end of this chapter, Spike makes the assumption that Buffy was raped in the episode Reptile Boy. While no detail is given and Buffy reveals that there wasn’t any rape, it’s still an issue mentioned and I don’t want to blind side anyone with it.

Spike wasn’t a traditionalist. He never pretended to be one either. No matter how much Dru had wanted him to be, that just wasn’t something he cared about. All that chanting and ritual? It just wasn’t him. However, if there was one rule he was willing to take seriously, it was the one about Halloween. You don’t start shit on Halloween. It’s everyone’s fucking vacation day. Sure, if a tasty snack wanders by he isn’t going to say, “No thanks, I’m dieting today!” But he also understood that, at a certain point, causing problems on Halloween was just being a dick.

Spike can respect an asshole (he is often one), but being a dick is an entirely different story.

So, you can imagine the conflict he felt when Dru told him that someone was, as his mother would have said, “making shenanigans” that were going to deliver the Slayer into his lap. On the one hand, he had his principles dammit! He had said he would respect the Halloween rule when he first learned of it. However, on the other hand, he was an ancient, evil vampire and he did whatever he wanted! Not to mention the fact that the slayer was a royal bitch who had it coming.

Eventually, Spike made a compromise with himself. He’d go out and enjoy whatever chaos occurred because of this newcomer. If he saw the slayer? Great. Dinner and his Dark Princess back at her best again. If he saw the person responsible? A beating and lecture that would make his father weep with jealousy.

He hadn’t been planning on what he would do if he ran into her however.

She looked beautiful, although he knew from experience at this point that she always did. Her normally well-kept hair was completely falling out of whatever adorable braid she’d managed to coax it into that night. The crown of what looked like Daffodils was almost falling completely off her head. Her make up was relatively un-smudged, but that probably had more to do with the fact that she wasn’t wearing much, just a light dusting of gold across her eyelids and a similar color on her lips.

However, the thing that caught his attention wasn’t just the confused look on her face, but the dress she was wearing. Unlike the tight black number that had been haunting his dreams since that God-awful frat party the week before, this dress matched Buffy far better. The creamy silk of the one-shoulder dress looked gorgeous folded and wrapped around her body, accentuating every curve while hiding the important parts from his gaze. The golden rope around her waist synched it all in, drawing his attention to her hips and that luscious ass that—

And he was going to stop that train of thought right now.

She looked at him with no recognition and a hint of fear, making him want to cast himself on the nearest cross. Worried that she was upset with him for the party, he shrunk his shoulders, held his hands up, and tried to seem as non-threatening as possible.

“Pet I—I would never hurt you. You know that, right? Please tell me you know I would never hurt you.”

While the confusion didn’t leave her hazel green eyes, the fear definitely did. “D-Do you know me?” She asked hesitantly, looking around them with wide eyes. “Do you know who I am?”

Spike’s brow furrowed. “Of course I do, luv. You’re—”

He was cut off as one of her friends came running towards them looking a bit odd while followed by the other one, who wasn’t moving normally. Too stiff.

“Buffy!” Red called, waving her arms wildly at the girl in front of him. “Buffy, thank goodness you’re ok!”

 Spike was stuck on baby-sitting duty, and he wasn’t sure how upset he wanted to be about it. Red, who was a very hot ghost for some reason, had run off to find Buffy’s pseudo Watcher, leaving him to look after the Whelp and Buffy, both of whom had turned into their costumes, leaving confused shells behind.

“So I dressed as a goddess and now I am one?” Buffy asked again, still trying to grasp everything after the short run-through Willow had given Spike. “That does sound rather . . . disconcerting.”

What’s disconcerting is you using that kind of language Spike thought, but he kept it to himself. He knew there was a bright mind under all that blonde, and he wasn’t going to be one of the many people discouraging her about it.

“So, fill us in,” Whelp ordered, showing more initiative that Spike had ever seen in the teen. “What is the situation like?”

Spike sighed heavily, not wanting to really get into it. “Look, I wasn’t here for the mess that was last year, alright? So you lot are getting the cliff-notes version and nothing more. Got it?”

The goddess and soldier before him nodded, though Whelp looked like he wanted to argue the point more.

“Now, I don’t know about you Whelp, but I know that little miss amnesia over there moved here about a year and a half ago after her parents split. She met you and Red and you little Happy Meals have been friends ever since.” He noticed Buffy scrunch her nose at the term “Happy Meals” and couldn’t help but smile knowing there was still some of her in that costume after all. She always did get on his case about it.

“Why would my parents split apart? Surely if they loved one another enough to marry—”

“Cliff notes version luv,” Spike reminded her gently. In all honesty, he didn’t have the heart to tell her the truth. That when Hank and Joyce Summers had been confronted with the very real issue of the supernatural Joyce had dealt with it through mild panic, heavy drinking for two days, and silence while Hank had simply attempted to ship Buffy off to the funny farm. Thankfully, the idea of her daughter being sent somewhere like that for something Joyce knew was real had snapped her back to herself pretty quickly. However, Buffy had blamed herself for the divorce ever since, and Spike, evil though he may be, didn’t have it in him to hurt her like that.

“So you lot wound up getting involved in most of the nasty business here on the Hellmouth since good ol’ Watcher thought you might be a Potential.”

Once again, Buffy’s brow furrowed in the most adorable way. “Potential what?”

Spike shook his head. “Potential Slayer, luv, like that Faith bi-bint Willow mentioned she was getting. One girl in every soddin‘ generation to cause vamps like me all kinds of headaches. They thought you were one for a bit, but turns out you’ve just got major magic going on.”

Whelp shot up. “‘Vamps like me’? You’re a vampire? Then why are you helping us?” Spike saw him reach for his weapon, but waved him off.

“Easy there Rambo. My issue’s with the Slayer and her lot. I got no quarrel with you all.” He looked at Buffy with a single smirk. “Told you that the first night we met actually. You and Red threatened to light my highly flammable ass on fire if I tried to take a bite out of you. Been nothing but banter ever since.”

Buffy smiled, “So we’re compatriots then?” she asked cautiously. “Through humor and fear?”

Spike barked out a laugh. “‘Compatriots’, sure. I gave you my word that, long as you and your lot stayed out of my business, you’d be safe as houses. Yer Mum’s got permanent protection too, in case you’re worried.” No need to mention how pointless he thought it was, seeing as how the woman bashed him over the head with an ax right after thinking he was attacking Buffy.

Buffy nodded her head gratefully, more of her hair spilling out of her braid. “Thank you very much Spike. That puts my mind at an ease.”

Bloody hell, Red needed to hurry up with whatever plan it was she had for fixing this mess.

After that, things eventually quieted down a bit. Soldier Whelp went into the kitchen hunting for “provisions”, leaving Spike with a curious Buffy.

“Spike,” she said cautiously, tilting her head as she looked at him. “Spike, why were you concerned that I was afraid of you when we met? If we are friends and you have upheld your end of our bargain, then surely I would have no reason to fear you.”

Spike sighed heavily for what felt like the thousandth time that night, running his fingers over his gelled hair in frustration. He’d honestly been hoping she wouldn’t ask about that.

He could lie to her, tell her some made-up story to keep in the goddess’s good graces for a while longer, but he immediately shook the thought off. He might not mind it, but Buffy would be offended. She’d see it as a manipulation. While she won’t come out and reprimand him for it, he’ll still be subject to those disappointed eyes. Like last time.

“You, well, pet, that is—” he cut himself off with an angry growl. Rip the bandage off. “You’re upset with me. I went and killed some blighters who absolutely deserved it, but you didn’t appreciate it. Haven’t spoken to me in a week for it.”

Buffy’s head tilted once again for a moment, considering. He hated when she did that. For one thing, she looked bloody adorable. For another, he could never tell what she was about to say. “What was their crime?” She asked finally.

Spike blinked at her twice. “What?”

“Their crime.” She repeated simply. “You ascertained that they deserved their fate, but what crime did they commit to deserve such a thing?”

Spike couldn’t tell her. He couldn’t explain the pain on Buffy’s face when she’d told him of the drugs they’d put in her drink, they way they’d dragged her about as they saw fit.

She hadn’t come out and said it, but he knew that you only drugged a girl for one reason and one alone. That in and of itself would have earned them a solid beating session with him (he’d never much liked rape, even after being turned), but the fact that they’d done it to Buffy, kind, innocent Buffy who went so far out of her way for her friends and family, even an undead monster like himself, was unforgivable. There was only one appropriate punishment, and he certainly didn’t regret being the one to give it out.

Thankfully, he was saved from explaining as the crown completely fell off of her head, and Buffy, blinking as if to clear a fog, looked at him with recognition for the first time. “Spike?” she asked her nose once again being too freaking cute for words as it scrunched. “Ugh, what happened? I feel all magic-y.”

“Thank Eric Cantona, she lives to butcher the mother tongue once more!” Spike grinned and swept her into a hug, swinging her around once before dropping her onto the ground.

“Spike, what’s got you all ramped up? You’ve been all with the brooding worse than Angel lately.” Despite her words, a bright smile took over her face. “Ever since Willow, Cordy, and I almost got sacrificed to that snake demon thingy last week—”

Spike gripped her shoulders tightly, eyes tinted yellow. “Wait, what? What sacrifice?”

Buffy rolled her eyes. “Remember? The frat party? I was all with the crying and the depresso girl and you went on a completely unnecessary warpath through the whole freaking frat?”

Spike felt the distinct need to lay down. A sacrifice. The boys hadn’t raped her. Just a failed sacrifice. That he hadn’t even known about.

Yes. A kip was definitely a requirement right now.

So that’s the first chapter! In this AU Buffy is the key as opposed to Dawn, and Faith is the Slayer. This is actually a thought I had back in high school when I first watched the series and couldn’t get my hands on anything past the first third of the fifth season and none of the Angel series, so recognize that a lot of my characterization won’t stray from my feelings about characters past around the Dracula episode. While I’ll be referencing and maybe even writing about things in later seasons (maybe even the comics, I’m not sure yet), my main influence are going to be those first few years. For example, I am perfectly aware of the fact that Faith gets a redemption and becomes a great Slayer and a good friend to Buffy. However, I had seven years to sit and stew on how much I hated her before I could get my hands on the later seasons, so . . . yeah.

[goldenworldsabound]

Hey guys, I have a question for each of you!

Rufus, when did you first realize you caught feelings for Aura? How'd it go? Francis, what would you say is your favorite memory with Wendy? Are there any you're looking to make come true in the future?

August, what's your go-to way to show Wendy you love her?

Comte de Saint German, long name there! Anyways what initially drew you to Wendy? If you could go back and change anything, would you and why?

Finally, Break how did your first meeting go?? EITHER WAY, I hope you all have an awesome day and get all the love you deserve! [the-storyteller-and-her-soldiers]

Rufus, when did you first realize you caught feelings for Aura? How'd it go?

How thoughtful of you. I'm sure Aura appreciates having such a considerate friend.

You've caught me out with this question. I discovered Aura long before I had the chance to meet them Back when my fool of a father had me locked up in the Turk's HQ. I was curious who was behind the All-Materia creation improvement that Scarlet was taking credit for. It turned out to be Aura.

I certainly had some amount of feelings as I dug into their file and kept tabs on their activity at the company...though I certainly didn't realize the extent of this until I met them in person once I became President. That was the moment where I realized I was hopelessly attracted to them.

Francis, what would you say is your favorite memory with Wendy? Are there any you're looking to make come true in the future?

What a wonderful question 🥰 there are so many beautiful memories to choose from. I think the night I confessed my love to them, the first time I said "I love you", will be one I'll never forget. We'd spent the evening attending a diplomat's party onboard a cruise ship anchored off of Yokohama - we were both dressed to the nines, the most gorgeous couple present by far. There was a fireworks show - and that was the backdrop for my words. I was so happy to be able to share those feelings with them - and they said the words right back to me with happy tears in their eyes. I get a little emotional remembering it...

...I suppose I should admit that I was quite nervous - and I may have made my confession beforehand by mistake, when we were taking a quiet moment out on the ship's deck...Aura was and has continued to be a good sport about that - she let me follow through with my plan to confess during the fireworks anyway, and still seemed quite taken by that, and also doesn't correct me when I leave this little detail out with others.

I'd like to make so many memories with them - there is so much richness in this world they've yet to experience. Particularly extravagant vacations. Once everything is done here in Japan, I will be taking them on vacation asap.

August, what's your go-to way to show Wendy you love her?

I have a long list of ways to show mon tresor my affections - opening the list is physical affection. To stroke their hair or hold their hand, kiss them or cuddle them. It is the simplest way for me to remind them how much I care. I bear no concerns over "pda" - the world ought know of how much I love them as well.

Comte de Saint German, long name there! Anyways what initially drew you to Wendy? If you could go back and change anything, would you and why?

A name is quite important you know - I chose each piece for a reason, not to mention the context of the whole.

Ma chatounette drew much attention - like myself, they are a powerful vampire, just as old as I, and immediately began working with the Queen. Not too much a few quirks that are quite odd for a vampire of the crimson moon...ah, but I would find such things interesting, rather than ostracizing. Our meeting was inevitable, as we both became vampires back then when it was still so new, and we worked diligently to complete research and form the foundation of vampire society. Their work ethic was much like my own, studious and with genuine enthusiasm for what they did, but maintaining a sense of humor. Our falling in love was only natural.

I am more than satisfied. I wouldn't change a thing. 😊

Finally, Break how did your first meeting go??

First meeting, hm? I would say it went rather well ^v^ I decided straight away I was going to tease them. They just had the air of someone who would be fun to tease and I was completely correct in that, teehee. We met when they joined Pandora, of course, and were assigned to assist me with something. I think it was collecting my report from me.

Naturally I didn't have it done and I decided to only agree to complete it if they would allow me to dictate to them. They were quite flustered by that, fufufu. It was rather cute. The report was eventually completed after many, many derailments. :>

[terramythos]

Notes from my October Daye reread, #7 Chimes At Midnight. Or, "don't eat evil pie if you're planning to overthrow the government". Advanced spoilers, please read the books, etc. 

Reminder right off the bat that sweet fashion disaster May used to be an eldritch horror of the night???

-the month name in her case seems to be a coincidence? (But like. How could a name like May Daye be a coincidence. Come the fuck on.)

-Goblin fruit is super yikes. Super addictive drug that inevitably leads to death?

- Tybalt and Toby domestic shit hell yeah

Tybalt: arrested for being horny on main

- Toby: let's visit the Queen, who demonstrably hates me, about the goblin fruit problem. What could possibly go wrong (spoiler: a whole lot)

-"i may be a composite of multiple dead people, but I'm not stupid" May is nonbinary, pass the fucking tea

-The Gang Overthrows the Queen

Quentin is such a good kid! Fuck!

-I just... love the characters and how they've developed over the series. Quentin is great, Tybalt is great, The Luidaeg is great... October has changed into a more open and less depressed person. It's great! I mean, everything goes to shit over the next 2 books, but we've come so far!

-Quentin getting extremely upset that The High King didn't notice the Queen didn't have a legitimate claim to the throne? Haha. Haha. *takes another shot*

-Quentin: we could just like... TELL the High King that shes not a legitimate ruler. Like we literally could just call him up and say--

Toby: he would probably kill us and how would we do that anyway

Quentin: *silently screaming*

Have I mentioned I LOVE the Luidaeg? Shes such a great character.

-the implication that tybalt's archaic speech is at least partially just to fuck with Toby is so fuckign funny god they're so cute

GOD...

-Quentin not quite bowing to Arden, or at least not as formally as the others. That's foreshadowing. God damn it.

- The Undersea: is relevant

Me: wow I knew we introduced all that lore 2 books ago for a reason

- "Princesses aren't exciting. I've met Princesses." I am so glad I am not ACTUALLY drinking every time Quentin's identity is foreshadowed, because this book alone would have killed me by now.

- everything: goes to shit

Me: ah, there it is

- Toby becoming instantly addicted to goblin fruit and forgetting 2 of the most important people in her life has me at a severe oof. :(

- fucking props to seanan for making pie legitimately threatening.

- October Daye patch 7.1 notes: due to balance concerns, toby has been shifted back to more human.

Gameplay effects: hair is brown again. blood magic effects and self-healing have been reduced by 75%. Iron resistance increased 75%.

-Theres a line about how Tybalt should have known better than to believe anything could have gone right for very long and. Yikes in context. Yikes with knowing Tybalt's backstory.

- fun lore with the Luidaeg offering to turn Toby into a Selkie to save her from impending death. Being like... technically the Selkie Firstborn. And how much doing that would actually cost. It's certainly something to file away for later because I don't imagine we would introduce a concept like that and then abandon it...

-SUDDEN HEAVY SETUP FOR BOOK 8 STUFF. SUDDEN BOOK 1 BEING RELEVANT. Why did Evening, some random noble, have a fucking ancient powerful artifact just kinda... randomly in her possession? INDEED.

- toby: Why does the name Eira Rosenhwyr sound so familiar?

Mags: Oh she's a Firstborn

Toby: Right, that definitely explains it one hundred percent. Time to not think about it at all ever again.

- TOBY I'm aware you're kind of out of your mind right now but surely you can see the aesthetic similarity between EIRA ROSENHWYR and EVENING WINTERROSE. Ajdjenskkelbsbd

- I fucking googled it and Eira Rosenhwyr translates roughly to "Snow Rose Evening" lmfao

- Mags, continuing exposition: yeah she always had this Snow White thing where like she never stayed dead for long

Me, considering book 1's central conflict and how Evening was described multiple times as Snow White: 🙃

- I really appreciate the fact that whenever Walther shows up in a book he pretty much saves the day in a major way just by making like. A potion

- toby: magic is weird. Candy made from my blood that temporarily curbs the effects of addiction? Right

Walther: you're dating a cat

-I forgot we learn The Luidaeg's actual name in this one???? "Yeah I'm Antigone what up"

-OH THATS WHERE THE "ANNIE" PSEUDONYM COMES FROM. God damn it.

-God I love Danny and his godawful expletives "Oberon's scrotum". God

- I haven't mentioned it too much but there are soooooo many good tybalt and toby moments. They have such a good and loving relationship. Boy I die

-there's a bit where Toby consumes some of the Luidaeg's blood for Reasons and gets a brief Luidaeg-POV flashback.. which shows the Luidaeg protesting Amandine abusing Toby as a kid. So even though they don't really meet until book 1, it puts her first unofficial appearance in a new context. Just some all powerful ancient sea witch checkin up on her niece at Safeway, y'know

- god the first Cu Sidhe shows up in this one and he just looks like a glam rocker who's also sort of a dog. Jesus christ

- they just act like dogs too and it is so funny. Fucking zero attention span, super excited and happy at being told they did a good job.

- arden: there's no way you're amandine's kid. She would never sleep with a human. Her husband would be pissed

Toby: ??? My mom isn't married?

(Oh boy that's gonna be a fun one)

AND, AFTER SIX AND A HALF BOOKS OF SOLID FORESHADOWING:

We get the Quentin reveal. The alcohol poisoning ceases.

-There's some real good irony in like. THE Crown Prince getting apprenticed to Toby, who is a member of Faerie's biggest underclass. And they become fucking BFFs over the course of the series. That's some good shit

👌👌👌some GOOD👌 shit right there

-God just going back there are SO many hints. I noted a lot of them on this series reread but some of my favorites are the real subtle ones. Like Quentin in book 2 being inexplicably amused when Toby orders him to do something.

- Like?? She makes the kid do chores. She's almost gotten him killed like half a dozen times. That's just some... premium good shit.

Well the book sums up that revelation pretty well lmao

- Did... did Arden just imply Toby's mom caused the 1906 San Francisco earthquake...? That is certainly something I either missed or forgot. How is that like even a thing

- The night haunts are cool as shit and I'm glad they're showing up as bigger players. And now we have setup for Toby owing them a favor. Delightful.

ME SIPPING THAT LUIDAEG LORE JUICE

- October Daye patch 7.1.8 notes: oh god we fucked up we fucked up changes reverted

-Blood magic CPR? Canon. Then again I'm pretty sure Toby was established using blood magic to resurrect someone in book 2. So. Book 2 is still relevant

God I'm such a sucker for this angsty shit. And of course this would be Tybalt's solution, considering his backstory. God. Fuck

-I like how they went from enemies to like ridiculously sweet and affectionate lovers.. but it's not 100% perfect, they still have arguments and disagreements. But it all comes down to them caring about each other. That's some good shit right there

- Dianda being a huge badass and just singlehandedly taking out six guards while iron poisoned. a good development.

- new toby power of literally stealing someone's powers by drinking their blood. We're going like full vampire here huh

- and The Queen... who we establish actually traded her name away... manages to escape. Wonder when she shows up again 🤔🤔🤔

- ok god the fucking short story epilogue is SO GOOD. Luidaeg POV!!! Luidaeg lore is always good but this is one of the only parts we have seen Amandine. It reveals that The Luidaeg literally has just been October's guardian angel for years, which explains why some all powerful sea witch just stumbles into Toby's life???. Amandine is a fucking brat. It foreshadows fucking... SOMETHING with the goddamn month names. And it sets up Eira. God next book is going to be so good.

- There are interesting parallels between Toby and her mom. Amandine was trying to turn Toby into a human for fucking years?? As some kind of shitty experiment? Almost succeeded until The Luidaeg intervened. There's all these lines about how Amandine had stolen centuries of Toby's life, how Toby would be defenseless and Faerie would still know who she was even if Amandine succeeded. What does this say about Gillian? Toby turned her completely human in book 4 to save her life. There's no way that's not going to come back in a big way.

-What. Is with. The month names. Seriously we have not had any new ones since 3 but that's still like 5 characters. I know there are several more coming in the next few books and I still don't know why the fuck lol

-This book was mostly the final setup for next book, which is an absolute fucking bombshell. Probably the best book in the series and that is saying something. I'm excited to reread it. But on it's own this one is a good read too... love that we finally got the Quentin reveal!! The horrific Queen is gone for now! Stuff!

[i-want-my-iwtv]

Honestly I can't believe how gay everyone was for Louis. After reading the compilation of Louis' descriptions, all of them are like "oh he's so beautiful, so innocent and graceful, my eyes follow his every move, wow he's so gorgeous". I can't believe everyone (including myself) is Gay for Louis

[EDIT: Tumblr ate half my post! I took out all the indented “quote” formatting to fix it]

IKR?? He tolerates it, rolls his eyes at it when he reads it, but when it gets to a certain amount…

Louis says of himself in IWTV:

“You wonder if I was a handsome man when I was alive,” said the vampire. The boy nodded. “I was. Nothing structurally is changed in me. Only I never knew that I was handsome. Life whirled about me a wind of petty concerns, as I’ve said. I gazed at nothing, not even a mirror… especially not a mirror… with a free eye.”

The compilation of descriptions of Louis that @i-see-light-blog put together are mostly from Lestat, I think, and at least one or two are from Armand, both were lovers of Louis at one point. The others who describe him are Daniel, David, and Marius.*

And I think the deal with describing Louis is partly that, hey, it’s fun to do, like having a favorite flower, and AR takes the opportunity to remind us of it, and put the camera on him in a scene, so we know he’s present. It also serves a purpose, we usually get at least a scrap of context about him and/or the scene:

“I glared at him, at the sharp graceful angles of his imperturbable face, […] his wide-set eyes, with their fine rich black lashes. How perfect the tender indentation of his upper lip.” -Lestat, The Tale of the Body Thief

Lestat glares at Louis. –> Lestat is clearly pissed.

Louis’ imperturbable face –>Louis is not scared of Lestat being pissed.

And then Lestat lavishes this extra description on him, appreciatively. Attention on the lip area, now we’re picturing him pointedly staring there, which might precede a kiss, so we can infer that Lestat desperately wants to kiss him, probably. What I get from all that is the exquisite tension of Lestat wanting someone he can’t have, someone he treasures and wants even MORE bc of the difficulty. And Louis knows this when he reads those flowery descriptions. I think Louis secretly enjoys the power that he holds over all these hopeless admirers, when he reads these descriptions.

It’s the tension of the other characters pining for Louis that AR wrings every drop out for us, she’s showing us how helpless these other characters are that they can only try to capture Louis with descriptions since he defies being owned by anyone. Unrequited love is a powerful thing.

In my reading of IWTV, Louis was not just some dishrag Lestat could toss around at will. Even before Claudia appears, Louis is setting boundaries with Lestat:

“And to Babette I came now with Lestat. He would have killed the Frenieres long ago if I hadn’t stopped him,…

…`You call me the idiot, and you’ve been the idiot all along. Do you think I don’t know why you made me a vampire? You couldn’t live by yourself, you couldn’t manage even the simplest things. For years now, I’ve managed everything while you sat about making a pretense of superiority. There’s nothing left for you to tell me about life. I have no need of you and no use for you. It’s you who need me, and if you touch but one of the Freniere slaves, I’ll get rid of you. It will be a battle between us, and I needn’t point out to you I have more wit to fare better in my little finger than you in your entire frame. Do as I say.” - Louis, Interview with the Vampire

^And this is part of Louis’s hawtness, as well. He absolutely will cut a b*tch, if necessary.

Hit the jump for a little more, cut for it’s-slightly-off-topic-but-oh-well

*I’m pretty sure the other quotes are from Daniel, David, and Marius, I’m not checking bc I’m like 90% sure.

Daniel’s drawn to him in IWTV bc his story is so compelling, and that Louis is a vampire in the presence of a mortal who knows what he is, so he has that preternatural thing going on, mortal!Daniel is enthralled. Plus, Louis may have spellbound him inadvertently, as according to Armand:

“Louis… unable to read minds, or to levitate, or to spellbind others except inadvertently, which can be hilarious, an immortal with whom mortals fall in love…” - the Vampire Armand

David probably has some mixed feelings about Louis, especially in Merrick, bc Lestat’s out of the picture for most of that book, and I think David is stepping into Lestat’s role in his absence, to some extent, so I think he’s trying see Louis as Lestat sees him.

There was an artist in IWTV who painted Louis’ portrait, it makes sense that Marius, another artist who has done portraits, would also be drawn to Louis for this reason. Marius also thinks about what would happen if Louis were upgraded, and hey, I would think he’s had those thoughts about other vampires who are significantly younger than himself, for whom an upgrade really might change them. Now that I’m thinking about it, this was info that Marius confessed to Lestat when Lestat was drafting QOTD, and I bet this comment stuck in his mind, he very much wanted to upgrade Louis for awhile, but for different reasons. 

[getoffthesoapbox]

[VKM Spec] Vivisecting VKM 13

Whelp, this chapter is a quintessential case of the old adage “be careful what you wish for, you just might get it.” Nothing like being handed everything I ever wanted plot progression-wise on a silver platter for the small upfront price of the last shred of integrity of the only character I still enjoyed. A faustian bargain if ever I saw one. Bad form, Hino, bad form.

For a great many reasons, it’s taken me this long to be able to address this chapter. I’m not sure how this post is going to go; I’m constantly vacillating between frustration, contempt, disdain, disgust, dismay, disappointment, detachment, self-mockery, and rage when I think about this chapter. I’ve lost all respect for Zero, and despite what happened this chapter Yuuki continues to fail to return to my good graces and my sympathy for her is all played out. All I’m left with is a deep sense of awe that a single creator is capable of destroying such a promising work with such brutal efficiency no matter what opportunities to salvage it come her way. It’s truly a wonder. 

The two prelude posts I wrote to help contextualize my review can be found here and here. If you haven’t read the chapter yet, a variety of scanlations are floating around the corners of the internet. Pick any one of them--they’re all roughly equivalent, give or take a line or two. Otherwise, let’s begin this debacle.

Note to the perpetually offended: This post is pure “zeki criticism” and I have tagged it as such for your convenience. Please blacklist accordingly or block my account to preserve your sanity and my patience. I’ve also tagged it “anti ky” for the sensitives from the other camp.

The Curious Case of Kiryuu Zero

Before I attempt to tackle this behemoth of a chapter, I want to address something first. My disappointment in this chapter isn’t due to the narrative or the reasons behind why the events unfold as they do--everything is completely within the realm of possibility as far as narrative trajectory goes. My disappointment stems from a more meta source: Zero as a character should be better than the behavior he displays this chapter. 

I understand why Hino has placed Zero in the position he’s in this chapter. There are various compelling reasons for allowing events to unfold the way they have, and I’ll get into them at the end of this post. 

However, as a reader who has been rooting for Zero’s happiness for nearly as long as the series has been running, I’m deeply, deeply disappointed in both Hino and in Zero, more so than in any chapter previously. Kaname behaving like a sex-starved potential abuser is one thing, but Zero behaving in the same manner is inexcusable and intolerable. 

Let me put this in context. When Zero was 14 he held off becoming a vampire despite the damage it did to his body. When Zero was 17, he bit Yuuki once in the midst of his first bloodlust and became suicidal over it. Even when Zero was falling to Level E, his bites were always restrained and controlled. This is Zero as a young vampire and a young man, a time period where one might expect him to have little self-control, especially given the circumstances. Even at this age and with everything against him and at arguably the worst point in his vampiric development (before he’d been stabilized by his brother and the myriad Purebloods he drinks throughout the series), he still behaved better than he does in VKM 13′s final scene.

Never once in the original series does he waste Yuuki’s blood. Never once does he gratuitously bite her all over her body, splattering blood everywhere like it’s worthless to him and like he’s entitled to do with it as he pleases. Zero has never been this kind of character. Yes, he’s a flawed person who bottles things up and gets angry over things. Yes, his pride gets him into trouble. Yes, he makes snap decisions that are at times detrimental to the people he loves. But he has never, ever, be the type of man to callously brush aside the woman he loves, not even when he declared them enemies. 

Yet here we have him now, not only callously pushing aside her worries and fears, but wasting her blood and biting her gratuitously just because he can and she lets him. The whole business is beneath him, and it flies in the face of all his development over the course of both series. It is a regression of a sort that is incomprehensible given even at his “worst,” he was always better than this. I’m completely flabbergasted by Hino feeling the need to drag him down to Kaname’s level like this when there are plenty of more in-character methods to show his jealousy of Yuuki’s attachment to Kaname and his own insecurities without resorting to turning him into the very person who destroyed his life. 

My fear with what Hino has done with Zero this chapter is that she’s seeking to tarnish him in order to escape having to hold Yuuki (and by proxy Kaname) accountable for their actions throughout the story. Moreover, Zero’s actions this chapter actually render him unpalatable to me as a reader. I’m no longer rooting for him. I’m rooting for him to get his shit together, to apologize for once in his life, and to move on with his life, but I’m not rooting for him to get a happily ever after. As far as I’m concerned, he no longer deserves it.

This isn’t about what Yuuki deserves per se, because she deserves whatever grave she’s dug for herself based on her own actions. My anger and disappointment are about how Zero should be better than this, and for the entirety of the story has been better than this. Before sinking to this level, he should have left Yuuki and broken off the relationship, and the fact that Hino won’t let him leave Yuuki shows she no longer has a good grasp on what this character’s main motivations even are. 

I sure hope Hino knows what she’s doing with this, because if she keeps writing Zero and Yuuki’s story the way she has been, she’s going to lose everything this last chance to right the wrongs of the original series has given to her. And she’s going to get cut. Again. Readers don’t trust her anymore, and VKM 13 is exactly why. 

What Lies Unspoken

So much for a sex scene. =P As expected, the continuation of VKM 12′s blood forcefeed is for Zero to deflect and get Yuuki’s mind off whatever was going on in VKM 12.

This first scene of VKM 13 in isolation is a wonderful scene, full of interesting subtext. Were it not for the final three pages of the chapter, I would have been completely satisfied with how this chapter unfolds--it’s right on track for the narrative trajectory I’m expecting. Unfortunately, the last three pages do happen, and those pages reflexively tarnish this scene in retrospect. We’ll get to all that at the end, though. For now, I’ll just take this scene as it is.

I do have to gloat for a minute, but goodness--what an extensive bed scene for a non-sexualized moment. =P Hino devoted far more panels to this scene than she ever devoted to Kaname and Yuuki’s sex scene or their post-coital scene. It’s quite amusing, and a bit gratifying after having to wait for so long for anything remotely similar. But that’s neither here nor there.

There is a lot of subtext going on in this scene, and the surface text has absolutely nothing to do with what’s actually going on with these characters. I’ll start with the surface read, and then we’ll delve into what’s actually going on.

Surface Layer: The surface layer read is fairly straight forward. Zero asks Yuuki what’s wrong, Yuuki talks about her worries concerning the Vampire King and the acceptance of Purebloods in general, Zero soothes her and teases her into a more positive mood and they both mutually sleep, Yuuki clearly still having some concerns but feeling better on the whole. On the surface, this is merely a cute fluff scene to show some Zeki skinship. 

If you’re only reading on the surface level, well, you’re missing out, in my opinion. There is so much going on beneath the surface. 

Subtext Layer - Zero

Zero first, since his reactions truly underpin the scene. Before we can explore Zero, we have to return to the earlier chapters of VKM and remind ourselves where Zero’s headspace currently is (as far as we’re aware--subject to revision of course).

As far as we know currently, Zero spent 50 years “waiting” for Yuuki to declare her intentions to move forward with him. When she does in VKM 9, he takes the opportunity to clarify with her in VKM 10 what she means by restarting. She dodges the subject, and they end at a stalemate where Zero may or may not bite her (we still don’t know). We then leave his headspace entirely from VKM 11-12, where we only see him from an objective viewpoint. In VKM 11, he appears to be playing the proper boyfriend card in public, but as soon as he and Yuuki are behind closed doors, he no longer touches her. In VKM 12, this trend continues further--he is stiff and tense around her and doesn’t respond well to her advances; on top of this, she has her butterflies spying on him and is clearly concerned about something regarding him. 

We know Zero desires to drink his fill of Yuuki from VKM 10, but we also know Yuuki seems to be so worried about him that she feels the need to forcefeed him, which implies he stops drinking from her after VKM 10 at some point (or didn’t actually drink from her during that chapter). So we know subtextually that something is going on between them regarding whether or not he’s taking in her blood. We just don’t know what that something is yet. 

This brings us to VKM 13′s opening scene, where Zero’s response to Yuuki’s forcefeeding is a simple deflection. He catches her hand and holds it to his face (perhaps a reflex from Night 88?), and rather than kissing her or pushing any intimacy, he merely asks her what’s going on. 

Now, this next section is interesting and says quite a bit about Zero’s headspace. They stare at each other for a moment, and then Yuuki collapses and rests her forehead against his.

In the very next panel, we see Zero attempt to embrace her. This is really important. His first instinct is to initiate romantic contact with her. However, something bizarre happens after this. Hino doesn’t show us the panels, but his arms must fall back to his sides before the next panel, as when we see the two of them from a distance in the third panel, Zero’s arms are still by his side while Yuuki’s embracing his head. (See below:)

So we have a clear trajectory of: Attempt to embrace --> Stop for some reason --> No touch at all. Despite Yuuki’s behavior during the majority of VKM, in this scene she clearly doesn’t seem opposed to Zero touching her or having any intimacy with her. Which begs the question: why did he change his mind?

We probably won’t get an answer on that for a while, but it’s important to bear in mind that Zero is clearly restraining himself from initiating any kind of romantic contact with Yuuki (this is a key item of comparison we’ll return to when we visit the last scene).

At this point, Yuuki’s finally willing to talk, and Zero listens to her concerns with sleepy, hooded eyes. She asks him if he still feels that vampires have no option but to be the enemies of humans. He takes his time to respond--clearly her concern is something that he wants to deal with in a very particular manner. He gives her a simple, factual explanation of why vampires are a problem when unleashed willy nilly in human society. 

Hino chooses not to show Zero’s expression in this section--instead she focuses on Yuuki’s response. Zero sees his words didn’t make Yuuki feel any better, so his instinct is to pat her head and then ruffle her hair to distract her. It’s a tender, sweet moment--the most intimate one they’ve had probably since the original series, and the one most like their original dynamic that we’ve seen so far in VKM.

She stops him, of course, and receives a pained smile for her trouble. What strikes me in particular about his smile in this scene is that for all that it is the most genuine and natural we’ve seen yet in VKM, Hino still made sure to put a great deal of pain in the lines of his brows and the framing of his eyes. He’s pulling an Arc 1 Yuuki here--smiling for Yuuki’s sake. This moment of intimacy doesn’t make him float off to heaven; it’s purely to help her ease her mind. 

We can tell the moment doesn’t exactly touch him because in the following panels, his expression becomes grave again. This is partially due to the content of their conversation, but note that this gravity doesn’t extend to Yuuki’s expressions--the moment of intimacy lifted her spirits, but not his. This is also significant, and points to Zero putting on an act to try to help her in any way he can, despite it not being what he actually wants. 

Zero cradles her head on his shoulder, but doesn’t initiate anything else. Instead, he brings up the point that the suspect could be a former hunter or a disgruntled Pureblood, and that she should be careful.

He falls asleep, leaving her to watch him. 

What I see very clearly in this scene is that Zero’s still holding himself back in their relationship, but he’s still concerned about her well being and seeks to soothe her and help her be at ease. This is basically Zero holding steady to what was already established in VKM 11-12, and is similar to his behavior during the 70 or so years prior. Because Hino doesn’t put us in his headspace, and because his expressions are neutral and hooded for the most part, we likely won’t get to find out what’s stuck up his craw for a long time (if ever, lol). 

The big takeaway from this scene, in my opinion, is that Zero is holding himself back from romantic intimacy and trying to stick with the familial/platonic intimacy Yuuki’s comfortable with from their youth. This is a clear sign that Zero’s still “giving” more in the relationship than he’s receiving, and a careful reader should be hearing some warning bells from his behavior here. 

Subtext Layer - Yuuki

This is the first chapter where we receive a few hints about what’s been going on in Yuuki’s headspace this entire time, and they are in line with what I thought during VKM 12.

The tagline for the chapter is clearly from Yuuki’s perspective--she’s hoping that touching Zero will communicate the things she can’t speak. This is in line with both of them not talking about how they truly feel and living behind masks their whole lives--even after all this time, they’re both still doing this. It’s hugely detrimental to their relationship and as we will see toward the end of the chapter has some devastating consequences.

We know from VKM 12 that Yuuki has some unspoken concerns regarding Zero. We know this because she’s been spying on him, and because she didn’t want to talk about their relationship to her friends. We know she’s trying to convince herself that they’re fine, and that nothing can change what’s between them, thanks to her forced smile in VKM 12 when she’s trying to reassure her friends and herself that all is well. We know that her concerns about Zero go deeper than the arrival of the Vampire King--his arrival is merely an excuse to explore those fears for her. She uses the Vampire King to get Zero into bed with her, an invitation she’s clearly never extended to him before. But rather than initiating anything with him or telling him her fears, she lies still and stiff and holds his hand until he falls asleep. When he does, she tries to ask him a question, stops herself when she realizes he’s asleep, touches his face with a worried and questioning smile, and then randomly bites herself and forcefeeds him blood. All of this implies some deep set insecurities about Zero that she’s never articulated.

Zero’s response to Yuuki’s forcefeed clearly doesn’t surprise her, nor does it please her. She stares at him intensely, but his lack of response breaks her and she gives up, leaning her head on his forehead. Whatever she was hoping to get from the forcefeed, Zero doesn’t give it to her.

So she changes tactics. Her tactics here are quite interesting--it’s clear she has a “concern,” but she doesn’t want to address it with him directly, so she’s testing various things disguised behind general concerns about the vampires to probe what his issues with her might actually be. 

We know Yuuki still has concerns about whether or not Zero loves her as a Pureblood, because in her confession in VKM 9 she asks him to date her if her being a Pureblood is okay with him. Clearly the fact that he’s stood by her side and waited patiently for her to return his affections all this time hasn’t been enough to ease her worries in this regard. So we know this is certainly a sublayer factor in her concerns about him, but I suspect this isn’t the real reason because she’s capable of talking about this--the real reason is far more likely to be related to the time she blew up at Ai in VKM 7 when Ai asked if Zero was angry about Kaname. 

But we’ll address all that at the end, because it’s relevant for later. For now, it’s only important to recall that Yuuki has some fears about how Zero feels about her as a Pureblood. This leads directly into her first test--she talks about how the Vampire King is scary, and uses this as an excuse to probe whether Zero’s feelings truly have changed about vampires--does he still see them as the natural enemies of humans, somewhere deep in his heart, despite everything he’s lived?

Zero’s response doesn’t immediately ease her worries, and we can tell by her half-lidded eyes as she’s listening to him. He confirms that bringing vampires out into the open can only cause trouble, but he doesn’t say it with any heat or anger--only grim practicality. He also makes an allowance for people who will act to make things better, but points out that in the end their efforts might not do any good. This is neither an affirmation of Yuuki’s fear, nor a negation, and she becomes despondent over it, a moody expression returning to her face. 

Now, what she’s despondent over here is left for interpretation. The surface level read is just that Zero’s words are sobering and make her concerned about him being in the line of fire in light of all the trouble bringing vampires out in the open will cause. But the subtext level read potentially says something different.

If Yuuki is using her questions about Zero’s feelings regarding vampires as a way to probe what’s potentially wrong in their relationship, then Zero’s words here will not be a comfort to her. If his issue was just that he’s still struggling with her being a Pureblood, that might be easier for her to deal with. But clearly his factual and deadpan answer shows he’s not having any issues with her as a Pureblood anymore--he’s capable of practically analyzing things. So basically what this does is cross out this issue as a potential reason for Zero’s behavior, leaving Yuuki with fewer options for why he might be pulling away from her. She’ll lose another option in the last scene--that of him perhaps not desiring her or loving her. That will leave her with the inevitable conclusion Ai brought up all those years ago in VKM 7--that this is somehow related to her feelings for Kaname and to her own inability to be a real partner for Zero in light of that. And perhaps this is the one option Yuuki doesn’t want to face, because she herself has spent 70 years running from reality. 

Regardless of what’s truly bugging Yuuki, Zero notices her troubled expression and immediately acts to soothe her. The distraction works, and she offers him the most genuine smile she’s had on her face in all of VKM--an affectionate, loving smile as she accepts his support and encouragement. 

The skinship between them works wonders on her mood--she suddenly seems to feel freer to interact with him and she goes so far as to flop on top of him. Her good cheer returns to her, and she offers him a genuine smile with questioning eyes as she says that she needs to do her best rather than just getting all down in the dumps. What’s interesting about this scene is that her expression is questioning--she’s looking to see if he’ll respond positively to what she’s saying. 

Rather than responding positively with a return smile, Zero instead cradles her head and reminds her to be careful since they don’t know who the culprit’s identity is yet. Her expression falls; he’s still not responding the way she wants him to (whatever that way is), and she tries to engage him again by asking him to be careful as well. 

But Zero ends the conversation by closing his eyes, leaving her alone with her thoughts. The telling bit, of course, is at the very end of the scene--her expression goes from a little sad to devastated. Why does it do this when she was genuinely cheerful moments before? Because whatever it is she’s afraid of hasn’t truly been addressed.

Now, the surface read here is pretty easy: she’s just worrying about him dying, which will be brought up again at the end of the chapter. But I don’t think that properly explains her expression becoming completely crestfallen at the end--it looks more like a woman who is afraid her lover is about to leave her, rather than worrying that her lover might die one day in the future.

Yuuki commonly hides her true worries “beneath” a different excuse. If her true worry was that Zero was going to die, she would have simply scolded Zero about how he’s not taking care of himself and work out tactics to keep him safe. It’s a fairly simple fear to address. Give him a Pureblood guard contingent, keep a butterfly on him, have him step back and lead from behind and rely on his hunters more, etc. Nor, if this truly was her deepest fear, would it necessitate her probing to find out if he still felt vampires couldn’t live with humans. We’ve got something much deeper going on here than what’s on the surface.

My thought is that Zero’s bizarre and erratic behavior since they’ve gone official is leading Yuuki to believe that he’s intending to leave her and she is trying to figure out why so she can address it before he does. Her response to Aidou, her insistence on their relationship remaining stable to her friends, her offering her bed randomly to Zero, her forcefeeding Zero, her wrapping probing questions within unrelated contexts all seem to be pointed toward the same outcome: she is afraid Zero is done with their relationship and is trying to figure out where she went wrong and how to fix it without actually asking him--and potentially triggering him to leave her before he’d planned. Likely she’s also afraid it has something to do with Kaname and her feelings about Kaname, just as Ai asked her all those years ago. But for reasons that are being kept “secret” for only heaven knows why, she can’t communicate her true fears to Zero, leaving us only able to piece them together thanks to her reactions. 

The big takeaway from Yuuki’s side of the first scene, in my humble opinion, is that she is deeply afraid that “something” regarding Zero’s feelings toward her has changed and that she will potentially lose him as a result. Perhaps what’s also going on is that she’s attempting to “fix” her behavior to please him enough to make him stay without having to actually address the underlying causes--the very things she needs to address to actually make her life better. 

The Knight Targeted

The second scene of VKM 13 offers a brief but welcome respite from the failing KM arc-redux of Zero and Yuuki’s current relationship. 

My favorite part of the chapter is the single page where Yuuki’s butterfly is clinging to Zero’s head while his coworkers have a good laugh at his expense. It’s a sweet, intimate scene which emphasizes the love and respect the people who surround him have for him. 

What’s interesting about Yuuki’s butterfly is how cheerful Hino makes sure to establish it being. In Japanese, you’d describe the screentones she uses as “fuwafuwa,” so fluffy and airy are they. They give off an aura of pleasure and delight rather than fear or worry--it very much reads as a Yuuki who was “pleased” by her boyfriend’s “performance” the previous evening, despite the fact that all he did was give her a little skinship like in the old days. 

More seriously, Zero is unmoved by the butterfly’s presence, and he himself is clearly not flying high or in any altered state of delight. This difference is key in clueing us in on his state of mind continuing from the previous scene--whatever Yuuki got out of their interaction, Zero didn’t receive a similar benefit. He remains his traditional stoic self. It’s important to note that we don’t get to see his expression, either. Hino is very careful to hide Zero’s expressions during the last few scenes of this chapter.

The focus of the scene, of course, is his coworkers’ antics. They attribute the butterfly’s presence to Yuuki keeping an eye on his office misadventures, and perhaps there is more truth to that than Yuuki would ever let on. On the surface level, of course, she is merely being hyper-protective of him for admittedly legitimate reasons. 

Regardless, it’s a nice little scene that demonstrates Yuuki does at least care in some sense for the man she’s been deliberately mistreating for 70+ years. It’s a short-lived moment, as Zero is called away to meet with an unregistered vampire who’s been brought in for questioning.

Zero’s first question establishes an interesting fact about this newcomer--he “let” himself be brought in without a fight. This implies he’s a plant of some kind, meant to perform a specific function. This’ll become more evident as the conversation rolls on. 

The vampire is quite an interesting chap. He begins by insinuating that Zero’s a fallen member of vampiric society--a vampire who won’t accept that he’s a vampire, a tamed dog of humans. He states he’s not working for anyone, nor is he the culprit of the original bombing the Hunters are investigating from VKM 12. 

Zero says the guy has a bomb and goes to check. Yuuki’s butterfly tries to interfere with Zero’s operations, but Zero pushes past it. As soon as Zero reveals that the vampire has a bomb grafted into his stomach, he instinctively moves to get the two detectives to safety as the vampire unleashes the bomb.

Before I move on to speculating who the mastermind of all of this might be, I’d like to do a little round of speculation as to what’s going on here:

Zero brought up an interesting fact in the first scene of VKM 13--that the culprit of the original bombing (and mastermind) might be either a Pureblood or a former member of the Hunter Association, perhaps a disgruntled one. (Zero doesn’t imply this, but it’s also possible it could be a team of these two, much like the original collaboration between Rido and the Hunter President during arc 1.)

Here are the basic facts we know:

We know that the first bombing “conveniently” happened near Ruka and Kain. By itself, this doesn’t necessarily indicate Ruka and Kain were targets, but given VKM 13 it’s highly likely they were chosen on purpose. 

We know that the perpetrator is spreading the rumor that he is the “Vampire King.”

We know the unregistered vampire in VKM 13 allowed himself to be caught and specifically waited (and perhaps even requested, though this isn’t stated) for Zero’s presence in the room before setting off the bomb. He didn’t have a message for Zero or any of the detectives--he only made sure to insult Zero and establish that he was an independent actor before setting the bomb off. This, coupled with the Ruka/Kain incident from VKM 12, tips the scales in favor of these attacks being targeted toward someone related to Zero or Yuuki in particular.

With these facts in mind, here are our potential mastermind perpetrators:

1.) An Unknown Disgruntled Pureblood from Kaname’s Murder Spree Days

The easiest and most obvious choice for a culprit would be something along the lines of a disgruntled Pureblood from Kaname’s murder spree days back in the original series who is now targeting Yuuki specifically because of her efforts to bring about equality.

This is potentially a good fit because:

Purebloods can manipulate lesser vampires easily, which would enable them to create a variety of servants to unleash on people Yuuki loves.

Kaname’s former activity created quite a bit of animosity that was never truly resolved.

The use of Kaname’s title “Vampire King” would mean nothing to most humans/vampires at this point--only Yuuki and Kaname’s former associates would be bothered by it.

The unregistered vampire in VKM 13 specifically waited for Zero, Yuuki’s current love interest.

The main problem I see with this possible perpetrator is that it’s nearly 100 years since Kaname became the forge, and the attacks are geared toward making humans upset with vampires (something that would not be advantageous to a Pureblood). 

The other problems I see are more related to the narrative itself. Hino doesn’t spend much time on politics unless they further the love triangle itself. The only reasons I can think of to have a Pureblood at the center of the conflict, especially a Pureblood who is a nobody as far as the original series is concerned (unless Hino is bringing back Touma or that mysterious woman from Night 91-92 who was leading the rebellion against Kaname) are the following:

It may force Yuuki to come to terms with the damage Kaname caused and her own role within it, that she’s been avoiding thanks to Zero’s efforts. 

It may give a platform for Hino to fully explore the Master/Servant bond between Kaname and Yuuki by using a Pureblood manipulating another Pureblood after becoming their master--which is something Hino put back on the table with the revisions to VKM 9. 

Other than the above two reasons, I think the likelihood that the perpetrator is merely some random disgruntled Pureblood is fairly weak. The activities of these terrorists seem detrimental to vampiric society as a whole, unless the Pureblood in question just wants to have a world where humans fear vampires and vampires have to continue living in shadows. 

2.) An Unknown Disgruntled Hunter who Dislikes Zero and Yuuki

Option two for our mastermind perpetrator is some unknown hunter who for reasons so far unstated dislikes Zero’s activities or Yuuki’s or both. The reasons in favor of such a character are as follows:

Zero specifically mentions the possibility of a former hunter being the culprit, which is the only “new” information we get out of VKM 13′s first scene.

The attacks lead to outcomes favorable to the anti-vampire society that’s sprung up in the wake of vampires coming into the light thanks to Yuuki’s efforts. Anxiety among humans is rising. 

The targets of the attacks so far have been vampires--Zero, Ruka and Kain are vampiric. As far as we know, no one has yet died from these attacks, nor have any humans been specifically targeted.

The perpetrator spreads the name “Vampire King” in order to draw the public’s anxiety toward vampires.

Even with all of these ideas, however, this possibility remains a weak one to me simply because an unregistered vampire is involved, and humans (even former hunters) would have no ability to compel free vampires to help with this activity--and certainly not to sacrifice their lives for it. On top of this, most of the humans Zero’s worked with would have normal human lifespans and would be old or nearing death (certainly the ones who knew Kaname would be). We also haven’t seen any hints that Zero has trouble with anyone at work--only VKM 11 hinted that Kaien did. As such, I don’t think a random disgruntled former hunter will end up being the true culprit.

3.) A Former Hunter/Pureblood Combination of Unknown Characters

This seems the most likely to me at the moment, both as a credible threat to Zero and Yuuki (another Hunter/Pureblood team) and from a narrative perspective. If the two sides are working together in order to perpetuate the war for their own nefarious purposes--the Hunter wanting to preserve tradition and the Pureblood wanting to prevent the humanizing of vampires, perhaps--this would work well with the narrative and would also be a nice counterpoint to Zero and Yuuki’s story because it would offer the necessary counter argument to Zero and Yuuki’s coexistence efforts. 

All the facts of the case fall into place as well:

People close to Yuuki such as Ruka, Kain, and Zero being specifically targeted fits with a Pureblood who disapproves of her efforts being involved.

The use of the “Vampire King” moniker and the curious absence of human casualties implies a former hunter who would care about human life is somehow involved.

The use of a “free agent” unregistered vampire who despises tamed vampires like Zero would fit better with a Pureblood perpetrator than a Hunter, as a vampire who despises humans likely wouldn’t be willing to work with a Hunter. 

Zero’s comment in VKM 13 highlighting both disgruntled hunters and purebloods would have significant relevance. 

Yori’s comments to Aidou in VKM 12 about how humans have as much darkness within them as vampires would align with this. 

Unfortunately, the downsides of this option for the culprit are the same as #1-2, mainly that we’ve never met any disgruntled Purebloods or Hunters, so we have virtually no investment in these new villains. Their threat seems hardly credible as we don’t have any idea who they might be. At the moment they seem more a menace or a nuisance than anything, which makes Yuuki’s fears seem overblown. Hino is usually better about establishing what her villains are up to, even during the admittedly failed Sara arc. So far we’ve never met anyone acting evil for the sake of evil within the current timeline of VKM. This lowers the reader’s investment in this plotline and doesn’t help for raising the stakes. 

Which leaves us with the potential fourth option for the culprit(s), which while on the surface is unlikely, may be the ticket to a successful story.

4.) Kaien (a former disgruntled hunter) and/or Isaya (a Pureblood)

I can’t take credit for this theory, as it’s @soulisthirsty‘s, but I think it has a lot of merit even though at first it sounds implausible. Before writing off the theory, please consider the following points:

On Kaien:

We know that during the original series Kaien placed Kaname’s life and safety at a premium above Zero’s and even Yuuki’s toward the end of the series, once Yuuki had taken Zero’s memories. 

We know that for some reason Yuuki “fell out” with Kaien because in VKM 11 he tries several manipulative tactics using his illness to get her to spend time with him. 

We know Kaien failed in almost all of his goals, including the ones that Juri had specifically requested of him. 

We know that Kaien calls Yuuki and Kaname by their first names, but calls Zero by his last name still. 

We know that Kaien “told” Yuuki in VKM 12 that he was going to do “something” for his love.

We know Kaien at least believes he is dying. 

We know the “attacks” began occurring right after Kaien mysteriously disappears. 

With all these facts in mind, however, what would Kaien’s motive be? Ultimately he’d need a reason, and in VKM 11 he seems to still care very much for Yuuki and seems relatively accepting of Zero and Yuuki together, right?

Well there’s where I think we may be assessing him incorrectly. Yes, Kaien loves Yuuki, but he also loves Kaname. This is purely speculation, but I feel the reason Hino chose to show VKM 11 was specifically to highlight the differences between Kaien and Zero, and to show that Kaien may have some animus toward Zero because of those differences. 

Consider the following:

Kaien met Juri after she and Haruka were together. He was forced to accept that they were “meant to be” and that his love would be unrequited. The “true love” Kuran pairing remained intact with no interference from Kaien.

Zero met Yuuki before she and Kaname were together. He was not forced to accept that he and Yuuki weren’t “meant to be” and in fact was the very reason for Kaname’s downfall and the “destruction” of the “true love” Kuran pairing.

Kaien’s sympathies with the Kurans and the Purebloods in general turned him into a pariah who was rejected by the Hunters.

Zero’s sympathies with Yuuki and the vampires had no effect on the respect his Hunter associates had for him, in fact he’s clearly beloved because he’s clear about his boundaries. (Zero’s even dating a Pureblood and openly associates with Nobles such as Aidou.)

Kaien tried to achieve coexistence with Kaname and failed.

Zero tried to achieve coexistence with Yuuki and so far is succeeding.

Given the above, and given Kaien’s propensity to push Yuuki and Kaname together, it is quite possible Kaien bears a great deal of animus toward Zero for “breaking up” his ship. I believe Kaien was projecting himself onto Zero and Haruka and Juri onto Kaname and Yuuki. Thus, Zero “didn’t know his place” and destroyed the very thing Kaien thought was sacred because he himself never tried to get between Haruka and Juri. The difference between him and Zero is that Zero tried (at least in Kaien’s perception). Not only this, but Zero also took Kaien’s “place” within the Hunters’ organization and achieved better results than Kaien. 

On top of all of this, Kaien’s beloved Kaname is “dead” for all intents and purposes and he along with Takuma are both invested in restoring the Kurans to glory, especially with Ai involved. Notice that Kaien did not invite Zero on the “dates” with Yuuki and Ai he envisioned in VKM 11--despite Zero being in the room and very clearly being at Yuuki’s side. 

If Kaien wants to restore Kaname and if he wants to put the Kurans back together, he needs to remove the obstacle--Zero. (This is quite an interesting theory in light of Ai specifically asking Kaien to be her ally.) The best way to do this is to create a scenario where Zero would be put in danger and killed without anything being traceable to Kaien. How is Kaien to do this? Well fortunately he has a friend who has always been a little dubious in the line of morality--Isaya. 

How Isaya fits in and why:

Isaya has shown himself to be more than capable of helping people with questionable motives if he gets something out of it. He was more than willing to go along with Kaname’s plan despite actually meeting Yuuki and talking to her prior to meeting with Kaname. He never once questions Kaname’s plan in light of what he knows of Yuuki. If Kaien brings to him a similar plan, Isaya has no reason to fight against it. 

Isaya, as a Pureblood, would easily be able to create servants or order regular vampires to set off bombs (remember, in the first attack in VKM 12 we have no idea who set the bomb or whether or not there was even anyone sacrificed--only the VKM 13 did a vampire kill himself over it). 

We also know that Isaya “disappears” thanks to the original epilogue of VK 93. This is pretty grey territory for his fate. It places him potentially in a good position to be an accomplice to Kaien.

Problems with the Kaien/Isaya theory:

There are obvious problems with this theory, of course. The first and most obvious is that both Kaien and Isaya are for the most part pacifistic--Kaien fights when necessary, but rarely does he instigate conflict, and we saw him working with Yori to help establish that vampires are no more dangerous than humans in VKM. Isaya also has been seen actively working with Yuuki in VKM itself. Causing strife among the vampires and humans would directly work against everything Kaien had previously been attempting to accomplish. 

However, Kaien does admit his life hasn’t been a success and he’s nearing the end of his life in VKM 12. This might change his perspective on his pacifism, especially with Kaname’s comatose state in the balance and the potential of Zero successfully “scoring” Yuuki rising now that they’ve announced they’re going official. If Kaien’s real issue with Zero and Yuuki is that he can’t accept a child between them because Yuuki is Kaname’s in his mind, then their relationship being official would be an extra push he’d need.  

Despite how far-fetched this theory is, I’d love it if it was true, as it settles once and for all Kaien’s place in the story and also gives us a genuinely credible villain for the VKM saga rather than some new faceless/nameless Purebloods/Hunters to contend with. This would seriously up the stakes for Yuuki and Zero as well, as it’s much harder to fight people you love than people you don’t even know. 

All this being said, we probably won’t know for a while, which means all options are still on the table (and perhaps there are more that even I haven’t thought of--actual humans maybe or nobles or regular vampires in revolt). But for now all we know is that the bombings are beginning to stir up some civil unrest and likely will have detrimental consequences. 

Inverse Reflections

Normally I would skip the side pairing sections, as I tend to find them tedious, but this time I think it’s important to take a look at what Hino’s setting up with these side pairings, and what they mean for the lead pairings that they mirror.

First, let’s talk a bit about mirrors. There are two kinds of mirrors--one that foreshadows the future of a pairing (a parallel) and a true reflection of that pairing (an inverse mirror). A reflection, as everyone knows, is a reversed image--left becomes right and right becomes left. 

As far as I can tell, most of the side pairings in VKM are being used as parallels to Zero and Yuuki as a couple--Aidou/Yori, Haruka/Juri, and Shiki/Rima have all been used to highlight aspects of the Zero/Yuuki pairing that either confirm the pairing is the intended choice of the author or foreshadow struggles and conflicts Zero and Yuuki will have to overcome in the future. 

Ruka/Kain are not meant to be Zero/Yuuki parallels--they are rather an inverse mirror. They are what Zero and Yuuki would have been had this story truly been a “Yuuki loved Kaname first and settled for Zero” narrative. All the beats they go through as a couple are beats Zero and Yuuki should be hitting if Yuuki is just settling for Zero. Yet every time Ruka and Kain hit an emotional or narrative beat, Yuuki and Zero fail to meet them, and often do the opposite. 

Here are some quick examples of what I mean, taken from previous chapters:

In VKM 3, Ruka admits to Ai that she loved Kaname and that he broke her heart. Kain steals her away from Ai and firmly tells her to cut out her moping and pay attention only to him already. If Zero and Yuuki were meant to be paralleled with this couple, this is what Zero would have done with Yuuki--however Zero does not. Instead, we see in VKM 9 and VKM 1 that Zero doesn’t ask Yuuki to stop pining and look at him; instead he tells her he’s fine with her love for Kaname.

In VKM 6, Ruka gushes over dressing Ai, and Kain tells her to hurry up and sleep with him already if she likes kids so much, for which he gets punched. Zero does the opposite--he says nothing at all about children and family to Yuuki. In VKM 3, Yuuki is the one apologizing to Zero for not being able to have a child with him. If Zero were truly in Kain’s position, he should be pestering Yuuki and putting a little pressure on her; she’s already settling for him, so he might as well get something decent out of it. The fact that he doesn’t puts another notch in the differences between him and Yuuki and Ruka and Kain.

In VKM 12, Ruka makes the mistake of thinking her situation with Kain is the same as Yuuki’s with Zero. She offers some solidarity, saying that it’s hard to move forward with someone you’ve been close to for a long time. Ordinarily, this would symbolize that she and Yuuki are meant to parallel each other. However, we see this isn’t the case with the remainder of the chapter. Kain gets hurt, and Ruka immediately demands they tie the knot. Zero being in danger doesn’t have this effect on Yuuki--instead, it just makes her spy on him more frequently. So if Yuuki’s meant to parallel Ruka, Zero being in danger should have been the “moment” that made her realize she needed to go ahead and tie the knot--they’re already dating, after all. 

Ruka and Kain don’t appear much in VKM, so I don’t have too many other examples, but I think we have enough to establish that they’re meant to be an inverse mirror of Zero and Yuuki, a sign of what Zero and Yuuki might have been had the story gone the route of Yuuki truly loving Kaname and “settling” for Zero. 

I’m sure people will argue against my interpretation of Ruka and Kain, but as far as I can tell Ruka never had a moment where she legitimately “fell” for Kain. We know it is a fact that Ruka was romantically interested in Kaname, not Kain, for all of the original series, despite him breaking her heart. It’s clear she’s settling for Kain, and Kain himself accepts this and doesn’t seem inclined to fight it. She and Kain are close, of course, because they’re cousins, but that closeness makes it difficult for her to see him as a romantic partner. However, and this is what’s important about the fact that Ruka’s an inverse mirror to Yuuki, Ruka still moves on and lets herself be happy with Kain even though he is not the one she truly loves. Yuuki does not do the same. 

So, with that all established and out of my system, let’s take a gander at the Ruka/Kain section of VKM 13. =P 

The first scene is another inverse mirror of Zero and Yuuki. Ruka is a super tsuntsun, but an obvious one. She proudly shows Kain where she wants their wedding to be held, but apparently never took the time to tell him she even wanted a legitimate ceremony. When Kain laughs and asks her if that’s what she wants, she gets flustered. At first she denies that she wants a ceremony with him, but then she quickly admits it and orders him to go along with it. Kain’s of course happy to comply, but he receives a tsundere response to his genuine affection. It’s clear, though, that Ruka is happy, even if this wasn’t her first choice. It’s a sweet, cute scene typical of happy couples. 

This is a clear contrast to Zero and Yuuki’s relationship, where neither of them can smile genuinely or goofe around for longer than a single panel, where Yuuki isn’t demanding of Zero, where Zero isn’t demanding of Yuuki, where neither of them are comfortable with each other enough to make these cute demands and boss each other around. Zero and Yuuki used to be like this, in their early days during arc 1, and that’s something Ruka and Kain do parallel a bit here, but Zero and Yuuki have lost that ability to just enjoy each other’s company without any care. Yuuki doesn’t honestly say what she wants, so she’s not a true parallel to Ruka, and Zero isn’t in a place where he can be even remotely as honest as Kain is--and Kain still holds back too, so that’s really saying something.

That being established, we then move into the wedding, where we receive an inverse parallel that’s foreshadowing a different future for Zero and Yuuki.

Ruka and Kain have their wedding, and it’s quite lovely (especially Ruka’s hair). However, there are a few things that are important to note:

This is the first wedding we as readers have been invited to. Although Aidou and Yori were married many, many years ago, we weren’t invited. This is likely on purpose--Aidou and Yori are a genuine parallel to Zero and Yuuki, and the very couple Zero aspires to be like in his future with Yuuki. We likely won’t get to see this couple’s wedding until Zero and Yuuki finally get to a better place. Thus, it’s fitting that the first wedding we see is the inverse mirror couple’s wedding.

Their wedding vows are horrendous. Seriously. They’re fitting for a pair not born of genuine love, and very fitting for a “settling” pairing. If Zero and Yuuki are meant to be a settling pairing, their vows should definitely be more in line with Kain’s and Ruka’s than regular vows (you know, with the whole “love, cherish through sickness and in health” variety).

Kain’s wedding vow is merely that he’ll protect Ruka. Not even that he’ll love her or cherish her. All he can “give” her that she’s willing to receive is protection. That’s kinda sad, and I hope Zero gets better.

Ruka’s wedding vow is even worse than Kain’s, if that’s even possible. She basically spells out in her vows that she’s settling for him and she hopes he can settle for her in return. All she says is that he’s been someone she can lean on who’s brought some warmth into her life, and she hopes she can return the favor. Surely the most romantic wedding vow in history (not). Not a word about loving or cherishing or anything remotely romantic. 

Seriously the “until we become dust” silliness sounds like a cult initiation more than anything. I know Hino’s trying to replace “til death do us part” but goodness. Also, I’m so grateful for that hilarious image Hino drew of Aidou bawling over the wedding--he looks like he’s facepalming more than crying. =P Perfect for my header!

I don’t want to knock the wedding too much--it’s quite lovely for what it is, and it’s meant to be a highlight of the chapter and bring a little fluff and romance into the what’s otherwise a heavy chapter. But my point in bringing all this up is to demonstrate that Ruka and Kain’s relationship serves to highlight where Zero and Yuuki should be in their relationship if Yuuki’s “issues” are truly just that she’s having trouble moving on from Kaname. So this should be a warning to anyone reading the story that way, that Zero and Yuuki aren’t following the same path--they’re on a different trajectory. 

Interlude: Yuuki’s Reactions

At this point, I will no longer being using images for my section headers because I have a distinct distaste for the remainder of the chapter (and Hino plasters speech bubbles all over the panels, making them unusable anyway).

But I want to take a little time to discuss Yuuki’s reactions in general and why her reaction this chapter is significant. 

Back when VKM 9 came out, I was furious because Yuuki spent 50 years dragging her heels and treating Zero like a blood bag babysitter and a general doormat. VKM 13 confirmed that I was right to be concerned about all of this. 

In VKM 9, Yuuki has several scenes where she gets mopey-faced, and Zero notices them. They’re from Zero’s perspective of course, in VKM 9. But all the mopey-faced scenes are deliberately drawn to be ambiguous references to Kaname. The first one is on the bench after Ai’s “teething,” and this is the “clearest” because Yuuki makes the face and starts crying right after talking about Ai being Kaname’s. The second, of course, is when Aidou grieving before Yori’s coffin in the same chapter, and Yuuki clutches her heart and then peeks at Zero. Because we’re in Zero’s perspective in VKM 9, he does not read her mopey face there as pro-Zeki--he reads it as pro-Kaname. The reason she looked down and clutched her heart is because that’s what she does when she thinks of Kaname (see VKM 3, VKM 8′s flashback, etc.), and the reason she peeked at Zero was (from Zero’s perspective) because she was checking to see if he’d noticed. The pro-Zeki read of this scene obviously is that Aidou’s words made Yuuki think of Zero, and that she looked up at him because she was thinking of him, but that’s not how Zero reads the scene (and nor how we should be reading the scene right now). We also know from VKM 7 that she makes a similar expression when thinking about Kaname while brushing Ai’s hair before the ball.

VKM 13 continues what VKM 9 began. During the wedding vows, particularly during the “until we become dust” sections, Yuuki’s expression shifts to her traditional Kaname-mope face and she looks down with a bittersweet expression. Now, there are two ways to take this, and one is the way Zero takes it and the other is the way pro-Zeki readers take it:

The way pro-Zeki readers would understand this scene is to take Yuuki at her word from later on in the chapter--she was sad that Zero might die and the words about becoming dust merely triggered that concern. Perhaps she was also sad about the fact that Zero could say such a vow, but she can’t because she can’t promise him to become dust together, as she’s immortal and he is not. 

The way Zero, Zeki critics, and pro-Kaname readers would take this scene is the way it’s likely intended given how consistent Hino’s been with this particular expression of Yuuki’s (every time I personally see it in VKM it makes my skin crawl, which is a tell tale sign it’s Kaname-related), is to see this as Yuuki thinking about Kaname. Whether she was moping because she was sad that she and Kaname never had the chance to make vows like Ruka and Kain, or because she and Kaname could never even get to the point Ruka and Kain did, or for any other Kaname-related reason, it’s anyone’s guess. 

As for why the pro-Zeki read likely doesn’t work in my opinion (despite what Yuuki says later, which I will address in the next section), Yuuki doesn’t look at Zero. She looks down and inward. She’s not seeing the man beside her, who’s alive and quite well. Instead she’s seeing something within her, which is more typical of her moping about Kaname than moping about Zero hypothetically kicking the bucket. Again, it is of course possible that Zero has her pegged wrong and she’s genuinely just been moping about Zero for 70 years for...reasons...even though he was right there beside her the whole time, but given her need to bring Kaname up even during her “confession” in VKM 9, methinks it be unlikely. However, for now we’ll leave it at the two possible interpretations--as far as the story currently goes, both interpretations are valid until further notice. 

Before I leave the wedding scene, I just want to say it’s pretty suspicious that Hino doesn’t show any Zero reaction shots and that the only panel we get of his feelings about weddings is a small panel where half his face is cut off. Hino’s pretty careful about keeping him out of sight, out of mind. We’re not allowed to see how much things bother him, or how he feels about his own prospects. (Seriously Zero just marry Aidou already; you both look so cute standing next to each other.)

And now, we’re ready for the grand finale. Hold on to your seat belts, friends; it’s going to be a wild ride, I’m sure. 

All Saints Must Fall

There is a lot to cover here, so I’ll be breaking it into subsections. Needless to say, if this scene had been removed from the chapter it’d have been a great chapter. But sadly this scene is here, and it is what it is, so what could have been a nice fluff chapter became...well, this little whirling dervish of controversy. Regardless, here we are, so let’s start by tackling the various ways the scene can be interpreted before getting into why I interpret it the way I do. 

The Surface Read

The surface read of this scene is sketch at best. It’s hard to take it seriously, but I’ll address it for the sake of completion. It reads as follows: 

Yuuki muses about the Ruka and Kain’s wedding being lovely. Zero comes out of the shower and initially asks Yuuki to have it out with him now. Yuuki is confused. Zero clarifies, informing her he noticed her moping at the ceremony. He then pounces on her, startling her, and demands she tell him. Yuuki admits that she was thinking about wishing for him to live on, that she always thinks this during funerals or key events, and that she believes it’s a curse to wish this upon him. She admits her wish is selfish but admits she’s afraid of him passing away.

Zero is surprised, but says that her feelings are something she’s cursing herself with. He tells her to give him her blood, and then bites her in several places, reiterating that he wants to grant her her wish. He asks her to be by his side at the end of his life and tell him she was happy. Yuuki reiterates that he should take her beastly blood in. Zero then curses himself and asks why her blood’s irresistible. 

The surface interpretation goes like this: Zero got bothered by Yuuki’s expression at the wedding and asks her what’s up. When she tells him, he is surprised. Her fears activate his own fears, and he tries to “reassure” her by biting her all over the place. Yuuki “consents” to this after he’s already done it, and he confesses that he wants her blood because his love is overwhelming him. 

Okay, this was quite possibly the most cringe-worthy drivel I’ve suffered myself to write in ages. But let me pick it apart at a base level before I move on to get to what’s really going on in this scene:

If this scene is truly just about Zero catching Yuuki’s fears and heightening his own fears in response to hers, his actions don’t make any sense. Why would he bite her all over the place irresponsibly to the point where she’s clutching her shirt to keep it from exposing her boobs if he just wants to drink her blood to alleviate either her fears of him dying or her own? After all, he’s been drinking her blood for years--drinking her blood isn’t going to save him from an explosion. 

Moreover, Zero has never been shown to be afraid for his life. Even after the conversation with Aidou in VKM 12, or after the explosion in VKM 13, Zero doesn’t appear afraid, unless he’s just hiding his fear under a poker face. Him merely “catching” Yuuki’s fear in this scene and overreacting doesn’t work as an interpretation simply because that’s not how fear works. That’s panic, and Zero doesn’t appear to be panicking. Fear is something that should be rooted deeply within him, and Zero’s never been particularly concerned about the lifespan issues--even back when Yuuki was genuinely worrying about them in Night 88, Zero brushed it off like it was nothing. 

If we’re meant to interpret this as Zero reassuring Yuuki that all will be well and her fears are unfounded, well, he’s not doing a very good job. Yuuki does not look reassured at the end of the scene--she looks depressed. Zero himself doesn’t look reassured at the end of the scene. He also offers not a single word of reassurance--he blames Yuuki for her own fears (her curse is of her own making, not something he validates), and he mocks her own phrasing when he demands her blood. This is not how we’ve seen Zero reassure her in previous chapters--VKM 5′s gentle reassurance, VKM 8′s confidence, VKM 13′s first scene’s intimacy. Zero knows how to reassure properly, and VKM 13′s final scene is not an example of that. 

On top of this, we have the idea that Yuuki “consented” to Zero’s treatment of her this chapter. She never once consented. Silence is not consent. I’m not one of those folks who thinks consent has to be verbal, mind you, but Yuuki lies passively in all the panels other than when she’s wincing in pain. Zero doesn’t ask her, he demands and takes. Yuuki never once smiles, never once reciprocates, never once touches him during the biting and even goes so far as to clutch her shirt to keep it from slipping--hardly an act welcoming of intimacy. In one panel it looks like she may even be trying to push Zero’s hand away from where it is on her exposed stomach. This is not an act of mutual passion or mutual fear or a mutual coming together to alleviate anxieties. This is a purely aggressive act on Zero’s part that Yuuki, for whatever reason, is not fighting--and note, Yuuki may have a great many reasons not to fight that have nothing to do with enjoying what Zero’s doing to her. (More on this later.) Yuuki’s expression when she “consents” after the fact is pained and unhappy, akin to her expressions during the Kuran Manor arc with Kaname. Hino even uses dark screen tones in that panel, and Yuuki insults her own blood. 

So basically, the “pro-Zeki” surface read of this scene is, in my opinion, grossly reductionist and fails to account for the basic facts. To hold this position, one would either have to be blind and unable to see the panels or read the words, or reading with rose-tinted glasses. This is why I can’t get behind anyone who thinks this is merely a “dark passion” scene, which I’d like to speak on presently before I move to deeper interpretive layers.

Romance vs. Dark Vampire Passion/Eroticism

I firmly believe that some of my fellow compatriots are misunderstanding the difference between genuine passion/romance and this “dark vampire passion”/eroticism. This I place firmly in the Kaname apologists’ court for creating this problem in the first place--they were the first to try to use “dark vampire passion” as an excuse for the abuse in their scenes during the Kuran Manor arc of the original series. 

“Dark passion” is nothing more than eroticism, which merely means “this scene is sexualized and meant to titillate the reader.” Almost every scene between Kaname and Yuuki is erotically charged, but very few of those scenes are correspondingly romantic. This is quite common in fiction about abuse and nonconsensual situations--you see it frequently in stories like Berserk, where dark situations have erotic panels. I honestly find this sick on the part of many mangaka, but I understand why it’s there--manga is a medium meant to be enjoyed, and rape/abuse aren’t enjoyable to a reader, so a little eroticism is added in order to make the scenes more palatable. 

The final scene in VKM is eroticized, which actually helps a reader to downplay the real harm this scene is causing to the heroine. Rather than looking at her expressions and paying attention to the pain she’s going through, the panels are drawn deliberately to evoke sexuality. This makes it easier to excuse for the reader, because the reader is not focused on the character’s pain--the reader is merely enjoying the erotic content in a voyeuristic fashion. In a sense, the reader is more sympathetic to the abuser when scenes are framed this way, and this I place firmly in Hino’s camp as far as blame goes.

Romantic scenes are framed and displayed differently than VKM 13′s final scene. Genuinely romantic scenes of course often have sexualized content and even erotic content in the case of smut stories from magazines like Cheese!, but the erotic content is very clearly mutual, consensual, and loving between the characters on top of being titillating for the reader. The only panel in VKM 13′s final scene that is even remotely romantic is the single panel of Yuuki stroking Zeros face when she confesses that her wish for him to live on is selfish. This is even before all the controversial content takes place. The following panels are merely eroticized. 

This is why I can’t buy the “dark passionate vampires” excuse for the scene, because we’ve seen this song and dance before, and it was used to do the exact same thing--allow the readers to ‘excuse’ the male perpetrator using “romance” as a shield, when really it’s just the reader being titillated by erotic posing choices by the mangaka. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying the scene on a sexual level--everyone has some risque non-con content that they’ve enjoyed. But that doesn’t make the scene consensual, romantic, or loving just because the reader is titillated by it. 

And last, before I close on this, Zero and Yuuki are supposed to be a radiant, joyful ship. If they’re descending into eroticized “dark passion,” we have a problem. 

The Close-up Subtext Read

I won’t cover this read too deeply, as @soulisthirsty has covered this far more thoroughly on her @vampireknightmeta blog than I have the time or the inclination to address. For those interested in her perspective, you will find her posts on the matter here and here. 

This is the read I expect most Zeki-apologists will eventually agree with once they accept that their surface read of the scene doesn’t account for all the facts and is woefully inadequate. My own reading of the scene is from a higher meta perspective, but that also means I must make assumptions that the chapter-specialized read does not (giving the close-up subtext read more flexibility in case Hino goes off the rails). 

A quick recap of what the close-up subtext read breaks down to:

Zero has been stewing on Yuuki’s moping at the ceremony ever since he noticed it, all through his shower, and comes out of the shower ready to tackle the matter and already frustrated (we can tell by the creases in his brow, Zero’s tell-tale frustration expression). Whatever he’s been stewing on is unknown at the moment. 

Yuuki initially is confused, and Zero snaps at her, calling out the specific moment so that she doesn’t try to dodge the subject. When Yuuki is slow to respond, he pounces on her, demanding she tell him. Yuuki is initially startled, and Zero softens his approach but still insists.

Yuuki admits to him her wish that he’d live on, and that she thinks about it whenever a friend dies or a big event happens. She has a strange reaction to what she’s saying, and then she touches his face and tells him that her wish is nothing but a curse for him. Zero’s expression shows shock; whatever he was anticipating was her problem was not this. 

Yuuki goes on to admit that she knows she’s selfish for getting all worked up over Zero’s imminent death on her own. Zero then tells her that the only one who’s suffering under her curse is her, and that if that’s really what’s bothering her, she should go ahead and give him her cursed blood. 

He then goes on to bite her without consent in multiple places, pushing her shirt up. While he’s biting her and splattering blood, he reiterates that he wants to push “that day” far into the future if he’s the one who can do that for her. “That day” is left deliberately ambiguous so it could be interpreted in multiple ways--either Zero’s own death, or Yuuki’s death by turning Kaname. 

Zero holds Yuuki and asks her to be by his side at the end of his days and tell him she was happy. Yuuki says that if that’s what he wants, he needs to drink as much as he can of her blood. Zero’s response is that he’s unable to stop and that her blood is so delicious it’s irresistible. 

This interpretation boils down to a case of misunderstanding. Zero’s been stewing over “something” that’s clearly been eating at him for longer than the ceremony, but the ceremony is the first chance he’s had to address it. Yuuki on the other hand is getting herself all worked up over him dying because she’s afraid to be alone (as we know from VKM 9′s confession). 

In this framework, the reason Zero doesn’t reassure Yuuki is because her fixation on his death and her view of her own blood imply that she doesn’t believe he’s truly accepted her. His frustration and his mocking her in this context would be related to the fact that he’s done everything possible to show her he accepts her as she is and loves her as she is, and that he’s at a loss for how to ease her fears. Thus, the reason he goes overboard with the biting is more about him being frustrated that she’s not really even seeing him--she’s only seeing her image of him that has nothing to do with reality (this would be backed up by VKM 13′s earlier scene, where Yuuki brings up Zero’s real feelings about vampires in addition to VKM 9′s confession where Yuuki asks him if he’ll date her despite her being a Pureblood). 

This framework allows for this to be a simple misunderstanding--Zero perhaps thinks his feelings aren’t reaching Yuuki and Yuuki is so hyper aware of Zero’s fate that she can’t relax and enjoy her present with him. Potentially Yuuki’s obsession with brooding and dwelling on the bad is starting to get on Zero’s nerves with this interpretation, and he’s lashing out because nothing he does seems to help Yuuki view the world and their relationship with a more positive lens. 

As far as interpretations go, I think this is a fine one, and quite in line with this chapter in isolation. It’s also a safe bet right now, because we don’t have any future information to clarify it yet. As far as we’re aware, the only “issue” between Zero and Yuuki at this point merely is Yuuki’s fears about Zero’s death (confirmed by VKM 12 and VKM 13). So I believe this is a safe interpretation to have in light of where we currently are, though it doesn’t quite go far enough for me. However, it certainly lines up with the facts and there is no direct evidence to dispute its validity yet. As with the interpretations for the potential identity of the Vampire King, this interpretation has no holes as of yet. The issues between Zero and Yuuki may, at this current time, simply be about their lack of communication and their general character flaws. 

I wish I myself could get behind this variant, but alas, I must go deeper. For those who can’t follow me further due to the leaps I’ll have to make based on lack of information, I’d say stopping at this layer is a good place to rest, no matter what “camp” you’re in. @soulisthirsty makes a compelling case for this interpretation, and it’s easy to back up. 

But now it is time to delve deeper. I’d recommend leaving now if you’re the type to get triggered easily. But if you’ve made it this far, I’m going to assume you’re here until the end. 

Artistic Intent

The reason I can’t get behind the close-up subtext read is there’s far too much going on beneath the surface, and in light of other chapters, than what that read allows for in my humble opinion. But before I get into that, I’d like to discuss artistic intent before plunging headfirst into trouble.

Hino is a deliberate, filmic artist, more so than any other manga I’ve ever seen. Her artistic fundamentals are terrible (see her proportions), but she has a sharp sense of how to use the panels as if they were film shots, and to use them to great effect. She knows how to emphasize space and time, how to speed time up and slow it down, how to emphasize emotion or emphasize distance. To analyze a chapter without addressing this is a grave mistake, especially in such a carefully staged scene. 

In two previous posts, I discussed Yuuki’s flushes and Hino’s framing. These are two techniques Hino uses to convey tone. But there are other techniques Hino uses as well, and the one I didn’t mention in the posts above is the artful direction of dialogue bubble placement and coloring. 

If you look at VKM 13′s first scene, you’ll notice some interesting things about the bubble placement for the dialogue. Most of the panels’ artwork remains unobscured by dialogue bubbles, other than one small scene at the end where Zero is talking about who the perpetrator of the crimes might be. Otherwise, the reader is free to enjoy both the artwork and the dialogue, to fully see the characters interact and express themselves in each panel. This makes the scene easy to follow and understand for the reader.

Contrast this with VKM 13′s final scene and you’ll see the stark difference. Huge dialogue bubbles with oversized text are plastered all over the characters’ faces and expressions during an intense scene, adding to the confusion and havoc presented by the odd framing choices themselves. Key moments are obscured by dialogue bubbles, key expressions are cut off by them. This makes the scene hard to follow and understand for the reader.

Parsing a scene is an important feature in reading. If a scene isn’t clear and easy to follow, the reader has to work harder, and the writer risks losing the reader. For a writer to choose deliberately to make a scene difficult for a reader to follow means there’s something in that scene the writer wants the reader to pay attention to. The first VKM 13 Zeki scene is meant to be breezed through--the content is easy to assess and move through. The final scene is the opposite. It is meant to be pondered over and considered and reviewed, and it’s deliberately drawn to elicit feelings of confusion and chaos. 

Hino has her faults as a writer and an artist, but in this she’s flawless. She knows what she’s doing with scenes like this. But more on the contrast between VKM 13′s two bookend scenes later. For now, I shall present my own interpretation of the controversial last scene. 

The Bird’s Eye Meta Subtext Read

We’ve arrived at last. The moment everyone has likely been dreading. What, in GOTSB’s opinion, is going on in this scene?

By this point I’ve reiterated what happened on the surface more than enough. I won’t waste your time with repeating it. Instead, I’ll take you through the two reads: first Zero, then Yuuki. Just like what we did during the first scene in VKM 13.

Zero’s Jealousy and Outrage

Hino’s a sneak with Zero in the final two scenes of VKM 13. She doesn’t show us he noticed Yuuki’s downcast expression during the ceremony at all, nor how it affected him. Thus, we must make some assumptions based on how he behaves:

Yuuki starts talking to him the moment he exists the shower at the start of the scene, but she doesn’t face him. Rather than responding to her, he attacks first--”Let’s talk properly.”

The first words themselves are arguably just him broaching the subect, but the following words set the stage for why we can decipher what was going on in his head: “Didn’t we decide to start over from the beginning?” Why does this line matter? Because he’s bringing up something that has no relevance to what Yuuki was talking about (the wedding). He’s bringing up their restarted relationship and reminding her that “something” has changed because of that restart.

Yuuki goes “hmm?” Now, ordinarily one would interpret this as her just being confused that Zero’s demanding they talk when all she wanted to talk about was how nice the wedding was. But Zero does not interpret her words like this. His response to her is harsh and unusual for him--he basically tells her not to play dumb. We also get a close up of his face, and we can now see the tell-tale creases in his brow, demonstrating frustration.

He then says a few things that are quite interesting. He says there’s something she’s “always” wanted to say to him, and that he’s been waiting “forever” because he thought it was hard for her to talk about, but then she had to go and start brooding during the wedding. So in these two sentences, he implies a few things: 1.) whatever it is that he thinks has been bothering her didn’t just start at the wedding, 2.) her brooding faces bother him (and we can now confirm that her brooding in VKM 9 bothered him rather than making him feel honored as he tried to imply), 3.) he’s afraid of what she’s been meaning to say because he’s procrastinated asking her all this time, 4.) he’s finally caught her in a moment she can’t squirm her way out from and he can finally call her out on her behavior because they’re “official” now, so she can’t run away anymore based on her own decision.

He then jumps on her and slams her against the bed and yells in her face. When she gasps and freezes, he initially softens up, but then when she looks like she’s going to clam up he yells again. 

Before I move on, I want to parse this. I think it’s clear from the following scene that whatever Zero was stewing on ever since the ceremony, it has nothing to do with being afraid of his own death (Yuuki’s stated reason for why she herself was moping). This means what Zero was stewing on has to be something else. Process of elimination and analysis of previous chapters make this deduction simple: Zero has always been afraid the time might come when Yuuki will at last tell him that things aren’t working because she can’t move on from Kaname. Perhaps it is not this specifically, but his fear is clearly related to Kaname and to Yuuki’s feelings about Kaname and what they mean for him. 

How do I know this? Because if he didn’t care about Yuuki’s feelings about Kaname and what they meant for him in particular, he would behave more like Kain--he’d be trying to seduce her, reminding her that she was here in front of him, and teasing her into the present because he knows his place in her heart is forever Number Two and he’s accepted it. But Zero doesn’t react this way--he reacts like a man who expects to be Number One and doesn’t think he is. You don’t get mad if you’ve “accepted” being Number Two or Number Equal. And you certainly don’t get angry with your girlfriend for “moping” if you’re just confused about why she was moping. 

Of course, Zero is a coward and won’t bring up Kaname on his own, as we know from previous chapters. Thus he waits for Yuuki to drop the bomb on him. But the bomb doesn’t come. 

From Zero’s perspective, what Yuuki does in this scene is pretty terrible--she dodges his question and tries to use another excuse to cover up the truth. So, to break it down:

Yuuki gets all weepy and tells Zero she wants him to live on, and that she thinks this every time someone dies or something happens. She admits that she shouldn’t say this kind of thing, and that’s because in her opinion it’s nothing but a curse for him. 

Zero is shocked at first, which implies one of four things: either a.) he’s genuinely surprised and touched that she was thinking about him this time and not Kaname, b.) he’s shocked about whatever it is going on with her face itself in that panel where we just see her eye and all the screen tones, c.) he’s astounded that something this petty and ridiculous is the reason she’s been making both their lives continuously miserable, or d.) he’s astounded that even now his feelings still haven’t reached her.

Before I move on, I have to say, none of those above interpretations are positive for Yuuki. If A is true, then that means Yuuki hasn’t even remotely been showing Zero any kind of affection. If B is true, then something really bad is going on with Yuuki. If C is true, then Zero’s fed up with the relationship. If D is true, Zero has now confirmed that everything he has ever tried to do in VKM to help Yuuki has been pointless--she’s already decided how he thinks of her and nothing he says or does will change that.

But before we can find out what Zero’s expression really means, Yuuki goes and ruins it with her next line about getting selfishly scared that the day he’ll die is approaching. 

Now, before I go further, I want to say this: if Zero was genuinely touched by Yuuki’s concern about him, that should have stopped his anger even if he was still flustered about the fact that her concern is over the top. For surely nothing Yuuki says is all that terrible, other than the fact that she thinks Zero might be opposed to her wish. But even that just warrants perhaps a sigh on Zero’s part and maybe him sitting down with her and talking about it or perhaps just getting into a shouting match about how she’s not seeing “him” and is still stuck in the past. (Much like what Kain says to Ruka in VKM 3, something like that would be more appropriate if he’s just upset that nothing he’s been doing has been getting through to her, or if he thinks her fears are silly). 

However, there’s something in the way Yuuki phrases her line in the panel where she talks about being frightened that gets under his skin. She says she’s selfishly afraid, which implies that this is just an excuse she’s using to keep up her moping, and it also implies that she doesn’t care about the Zero in front of her per se so much as ensuring she has “someone” with her “forever.” (Leading us right back to the very reason Zero was starting this argument in the first place.

So Zero’s reaction to Yuuki’s selfish fear is not to soothe her or reassure her. Instead he mocks her. And it is here that Hino stops letting us see his full expressions and begins to cut him off using framing. We don’t see his eyes at all when he tells her that the only one suffering under her “curse” is her. But rather than stopping there, he then goes on further to demand her blood using the very same terminology she used herself. Note that his brow is furrowed when he says this, implying that this is not said out of love or appreciation. Most children know that the best way to annoy someone is to repeat what they said, and he’s mocking her here with her own words, much as Kaname used to do. 

Now there’s a couple of interpretations for this section. The first is the easy one: Zero’s upset that everything he’s done since the end of VK has been for naught and so he might as well just give in to Yuuki’s fears and give her what she “wants”, which is for him to drink from her. (As we know from her forcefeeding him in VKM 12). So in this sense, he’s just angrily acquiescing to her fears. And I would buy this interpretation, if not for the next few panels where he squanders her blood. So if this is just about him being generally frustrated that he’s not getting through to her, he should still be treasuring her blood, not squandering it. 

The second interpretation requires some assumptions, but I think it fits better with Zero’s actions. Zero is pissed at her for using him as an excuse to not talk about her issues and the ghost that’s between them, and this excuse is perfect because she can just use it every time she’s upset to deflect Zero from prying into her feelings about Kaname. Think about it: if she doesn’t want Zero to pry into Kaname, all she has to do is say “why, my love, I was moping about your fate!” and he has to comfort her and pity her and feel sorry for her and drop the subject. It is an invincible shield behind which she can hide forever, unlike their bench excuses, rendering him unable to ever corner her into confessing  about Kaname without actually bringing him up (which we know she runs away from direct conversations about Kaname as well, see VKM 3, 5, and 9). Zero knows that this excuse she will have forever because she is immortal and he is not. So Zero’s anger in this scene may have some of the “nothing I do will get through to her” interpretation in it, but I think the majority of why he’s so angry and brutal with her is because she’s made it impossible for him to ever address the real problem he has in their relationship. She can “play dumb” forever and ever, and he will have to just take it and suffer.

This interpretation I think explains the manner in which he treats her better than the first. If he was just frustrated with her for not seeing him “now,” I don’t think his bite style would change so severely. However, if he’s pissed at her for finding the ultimate deflection from them ever being able to address the issues he has with her, then yeah, he’s gonna unleash all that pent-up sexual energy he’s been holding back for 70+ years. So he attacks her, bites her over eight times all over her body, but doesn’t even stop to savor the blood. He clearly causes her pain and scares her--she feebly attempts to push his hand off her stomach and clutches her shirt to cover her boobs. Like seriously I can’t reiterate this enough--she’s not being sexually receptive to him at all in this scene. This outburst of sexually charged energy on top of the egregious biting all imply anger, not merely frustration. 

Basically, from my perspective, what it appears he realizes here is that despite how cleverly he trapped her this time (locating a precise moment and holding her to their restart promise), she found the one way out of an honest conversation. And this naturally is infuriating. He basically has it confirmed that she will never tell him what’s really going on. And that is why he becomes so bitter when he mocks her, and that is why he splatters her blood and invades her intimate space, and that is why he tells her to push “that day” in to the far distance. 

“That day” in the second interpretation can only mean the day she turns Kaname, the day Zero fears (because Zero has his own fears, which he’s never allowed to speak about thanks to Yuuki). If Zero’s life keeps her from making that sacrifice, then by all the hells he’s going to do everything it takes to grant that to her, because that’s all that’s left for him. I think that’s also why at the end of the scene he finally confesses what he hopes to receive from her--that at the end of all this insanity, she’ll at the very least tell him she was happy. He doesn’t even ask for her love because as far as he’s concerned, he’ll never receive it. He just wants her to be with him in the end and tell him he made her happy. 

Now if the scene ended here, I would say Zero’s made a pretty big damn mistake and he needs to fix it, but otherwise I would expect Hino to keep dragging out this shitshow until the end of the series. Zero’ll just have to accept that he’s never going to get to clarify whatever it is that bothers him about Kaname, and “be the bigger man” than Kaname was or whatever.

But Hino gave me a little tiny gift at the end, one that has me hoping for better things. At the end, Zero admits that he’s no longer able to stop himself. He curses, and then asks himself why her blood’s so tasty that he can’t stop himself. This is a direct parallel to Night 50, when Kaname asked Yuuki the same thing. 

Zero is confirmed to be unsatisfied with Yuuki’s blood. It’s still tasty because he still loves her, but he’s now beginning to shift into Rido/Kaname territory. This means, despite his anger about Yuuki deflecting this chapter, that the likelihood of him leaving the relationship has gone up exponentially. A confession like this usually comes before the end. And if this scene is what it takes for Hino to give me my Zeki breakup so that they can sort themselves out and find a better way, I’ll pay my dues and suck it up. All saints have to fall at some point, and Zero was due for a fall. 

To quickly sum up what I feel was expressed on the Zero side in this scene: Zero has been afraid for at least 50+ years that Yuuki’s issues about Kaname will never be “over.” Every time he’s tried to talk to Yuuki in the past about Kaname, she’s deflected in some way or clammed up. When he thinks he’s finally trapped her into having to talk about it, she brings out the biggest whopper of a deflection in history, and one he can’t beat, triggering one hell of a temper tantrum and leaving him indirectly confessing that she no longer satisfies him (and we know he was once satisfied by her, because he said as much in VKM 2). 

This puts Zero in a position to do one of two things: either a.) he has to accept that their relationship is what it is and this is the best he’s gonna get, or b.) he has to start deciding the best route for causing a chilling effect on the relationship, either by rebenching it or breaking it up entirely. More on this in the finale section. 

For now, I want to say that I fully expect Zero to apologize to Yuuki for his behavior here. I think he was wrong, no matter his circumstances, to treat her this way. I do think he was driven to this point by her behavior and by his own cowardice, which I’ll discuss briefly here shortly, but that still doesn’t excuse him. His behavior in this scene was abusive, although one instance of abuse does not necessarily an abuser make. At the moment, this is an anomalous behavior for Zero, but readers should be careful not to defend it too much because it could develop into a pattern of abuse in the future, and is, therefore, a red flag. If he continues down this path and develops a pattern of abuse, he’ll be no better than Kaname.  So I fully expect him an apology from him, a la Rhett Butler after The Scene in Gone With The Wind, and I expect some serious reflection on his actions and some serious narrative consequences. 

Now, before I move on to Yuuki’s side of this chapter, I want to talk about a few things that we can now extrapolate about Zero based on this chapter:

While he may not have been lying per se when he said he was “okay” with Kaname’s place in Yuuki’s heart during VKM 9 and VKM 1, it’s clear that he’s incredibly insecure about his own place in Yuuki’s heart despite what he says to her. I’ve always been firmly in the camp that he’s been lying this whole time, perhaps even to himself, about being “okay” with that. As Yuuki said once long ago to Kaname, he shouldn’t lie to himself and pretend it’s okay when it clearly isn’t (for fuck’s sake, Kaname destroyed his life). But Yuuki seems content to allow herself to be lied to now, so that shows you how much has changed since Night 49.

Zero’s been in denial about his prospects with Yuuki. Clearly he spent the 50+ years of pining in VKM 9 hoping that once they became official, things would get better. VKM 13 confirms that this cycle of Yuuki moping about “things” (re: Kaname) will continue in perpetuity. 

He is no longer satisfied with Yuuki’s blood as his only source of romantic connection with her, given how he treats her blood this chapter. It’s still tasty, but it’s not filling. 

His hope for a better future has died. This is evident by the fact that he says what he wishes from her when he dies here. He’s given up on them as a couple. What that means, of course, remains to be seen. 

Yuuki’s Deliberate Deflections and Insecurities

Now, we know less about Yuuki in VKM than we do about Zero. So unlike with Zero, it’s hard to gauge how much of what she says is “true” and how much is a lie or half-truth. As such, that makes it harder to interpret her and easier to give her a pass.

On the surface, Hino tries to paint her as this oblivious person who has no clue what’s going on. I would buy this interpretation if not for VKM 9 and if not for Night 66. Yuuki is a master at pretending to be obtuse when she knows people want something from her she’s unwilling to give, but she’s fully conscious of what she’s doing when she withholds and hides behind being “dense” and people forgiving her for it. 

Now there are two ways to view Yuuki this chapter, and I think both are valid until further notice. 

One is that she genuinely has been moping about Zero potentially dying all this time (even back when Zero thought she was moping about Kaname during VKM 9). In this scenario, she would have no clue that she’s just made it impossible for Zero to ever talk about Kaname, because she’s being honest with Zero about what she was thinking about during the ceremony. Thus her confession about how she thinks her wish is selfish and unfair to him would be in this case honest. And I think this interpretation is certainly valid, because the way Hino frames Yuuki in this scene is pretty open. The only “dishonest” aspect perhaps surrounds the panel where her eye gets weird, but that can be attributed to either her hyper-anxiety about losing Zero surfacing or something related to the master/servant bond with Kaname surfacing. This interpretation is also in line with VKM 9, where we see that after funerals she drinks excessively from Zero to the point that he basically calls it “funeral duty.” It would also be in line with her forcefeeding Zero in VKM 12 and her openly spying on him and her fears getting triggered after Aidou’s comment to him in VKM 12. 

In this interpretation, the fact that she does still genuinely believe wishing eternal life upon him is a curse for him shows that she isn’t seeing him properly and clearly still has some fears and misconceptions about him due to the original series. This is, as @soulisthirsty points out in her posts I linked above in the close-up subtext section, likely due to the fact that Yuuki has never talked to Zero about those final days of Kaname’s life and the terrible things she did--stealing Zero’s memories against his will, sleeping with Kaname, betraying Zero (we know Yuuki saw that as a betrayal of Zero because she says she and Kaname have no “right” to face Zero in Night 90). So this would set up a natural misunderstanding between her and Zero--she has spent the past 70+ years thinking she’s unworthy of Zero and wanting him anyway, while Zero has spent the past 70+ years thinking she doesn’t love him as much as her blood says she does. 

However, my problem with this interpretation of Yuuki is that it doesn’t account for her confession in VKM 9 when she clearly states she won’t let Zero go and won’t let their relationship move forward, implying she’s been fully cognizant all along of what’s bothering Zero. It also doesn’t account for her playing coy in VKM 10 when Zero tries to pin her down on what she means by “restart,” nor does it account for her suddenly “offering her bed” to him in VKM 12. 

So that leads us to the second potential interpretation of Yuuki in VKM 13, and that is that Zero is right--she is hiding behind her genuine fears about his life in order to not address her deeper issues. This interpretation includes the one above, but it also adds to it a new dimension--that of Yuuki being duplicitous in her attempts to keep Zero at her side but not face herself and Kaname. So her confession of her fears in VKM 13 by this interpretation would be true--she does think these things--but Zero is also right--at the moment he noticed at the wedding, she was thinking of Kaname or of something related to Kaname. 

This could be for a variety of reasons unrelated to “love” or “pining” of course--it could just be that wedding vows trigger her master/servant bond for all we know. The larger point is that clearly something “more” was going on there than just Yuuki innocently fearing for Zero’s life. Weddings shouldn’t make her fear for Zero’s life anyway--she should be thinking about her own marriage, which is what weddings do to single people. This would naturally make her think of the failed engagement to Kaname and perhaps bring up some “what ifs,” and it would also make her think about why her own relationship with Zero isn’t moving to this phase. 

But whatever it was she was actually thinking about, it wasn’t something she feels she can talk to Zero about. Zero knows it and she knows it. She never once contradicts him when he says her curse is her own. She well knows it. And she continues thinking so even after he bites her. Nothing changes in her perception by the end of VKM 13. Whatever she was moping about at the beginning is still there to be moped about. 

In brief, this is what I think is going on with Yuuki:

She hates herself for not being able to love Kaname.

She potentially resents Zero for being the reason she couldn’t love Kaname. 

She’s confused about whatever it is that’s going on with the master/servant bond. 

She’s still genuinely afraid of being alone and selfishly wants “someone” by her side.

She still does have some unknown feelings for Zero and genuinely is afraid that he’ll die before she can be able to have a life with him. (This is probably the true reason why she fears his death, rather than just general fear. That he’ll die before she can be free to love him.)

Based on how she was acting in VKM 12, I suspect she’s afraid Zero’s going to leave her full stop. Confessing she’s afraid of him dying may be a way to keep him with her a little longer and may stall his decision to leave. 

Now I mentioned up in section on the first scene that I think Yuuki might be testing Zero a bit to see if his issues are what she fears. She’s already checked off “hates Purebloods still” from the list. In VKM 13′s final scene, she checks off two other things: “doesn’t want to live forever as a thing he hates” and “thinks my blood is evil.” Zero basically tells her what she told Kaname in Night 49--go ahead and tarnish him, he’ll fall together with her. 

With this in mind, my interpretation of Yuuki’s final lines in the chapter are more about her accepting that Zero’s issues have nothing to do with the things that are easy for her to address or deal with. So she tells him go ahead and take all the things she can give him, because she still can’t give him anything else that he wants, so at the very least she can keep extending his life with the blood that has been nothing but a curse to him. And the curse she means, in my opinion, is that he loves her and she’s so deeply unworthy of him on every level. 

So basically, in the end of this scene Yuuki must face that Zero’s issues are about the things she refuses to deal with him honestly about--the events of the original series, her feelings, and Kaname. And this is why she’s in so much pain, because these are the very things she was hoping to avoid forever. 

Here are a few of the things I feel we can now say about Yuuki in VKM:

She’ll keep dodging to the end of time and picking up new excuses to avoid addressing the enormous elephant in the room.

She’s not interested in finding happiness or moving forward. Instead, she’s interested in punishing herself (and by extension Zero) for what happened to Kaname. Why this is the case is up for speculation at this point. 

All Yuuki has to offer Zero at this point is her blood. And with this chapter, he’s confirmed for her that soon her blood won’t be enough. As with Kaname in Night 66/67, Yuuki’s “restart” has begun to fail due to her own inability to open up the romantic part of her life to her partner. Zero subsisted on nothing but her blood for an entire human lifespan, and that’s clearly not enough for him anymore. She can no longer use it as a bargaining chip to distract him from the lack of intimacy.

Yuuki does not want intimacy with Zero. She tries to push his hand away from her waist and tries to keep her shirt from slipping. If she truly loves this man and wants to restart with him, why’s she being all shy? It’s not like she hasn’t had sex before. This is a red flag for their relationship.

Who’s More Reprehensible?

This is probably a weird thing to end this section with, but I wanted to briefly touch on who I feel, out of Zero and Yuuki, is the most reprehensible character and why.

I want it to be clear that Zero’s behavior in this chapter is absolutely reprehensible, and right up there with Kaname’s behavior in Nights 61 and 90. (I think Night 90 still wins, since it was in public, but that can be debated of course.)

However, Zero’s pretty much been driven to this by Yuuki. Now, interestingly, Kaname blamed Yuuki for driving most of his behavior in the original series, but actually Yuuki was mostly blameless--Kaname expected too much too quickly from her. That’s not the case with Zero.

Zero waits for her. Patiently. Without complaint. For nearly 70 years (4 years pregnancy, 16 years Ai’s youth up to VKM 3, 50 years post-VKM 3 until Yori’s death) Zero abided by Yuuki’s rules for their relationship and slowly clung to the hope that one day, somehow, they would be able to become like Aidou and Yori.

And then that day came, and nothing changed. Yuuki’s still becoming withdrawn and moody, she’s still withholding as a partner, she only offers her bed when it’s convenient to her and no actual intimacy. She rejects intimacy and doesn’t instigate it or invite it. Their relationship is cold; they might as well be roommates rather than lovers.

On top of this, Yuuki has never once said she loves Zero. She has never spoken her feelings to him, not during any of his confessions. She’s never corrected his assumptions about Kaname, at least not the ones he’s spoken to her. Even her restart confession basically outlined that Kaname’s first in her thoughts and Zero and Ai merely are bandaids “saving” her from thinking about Kaname forever. She doesn’t appreciate Zero openly (as we see from how shocked Zero is by Aidou caring about him in VKM 12). She deflects all his attempts to open their relationship up to be something more mutual.

She fully admits to stringing him along in VKM 9 and then offers him a candy bar with the restart only to give him more of the same. Zero has the patience of a saint, but he’s not a saint, and a 70-year-old virgin is eventually going to get pretty fed up that his lover isn’t interested in having a relationship with him. Especially not when she was more than willing to hop into bed with his enemy much sooner. 

We don’t know yet why Yuuki’s chosen to treat Zero like this. But most certainly Zero doesn’t know either, because Yuuki’s stopped communicating entirely and every time he tries to talk she shuts him down or clams up. Thus, despite Zero’s behavior being physically abusive this chapter (despite it being an anomaly in the 50+ years of his life during VKM so far), in my opinion Yuuki triggered its inevitability and brought it on herself by stringing him along for so long and continuing to do so even after the restart. She’s been unnecessarily cruel to him--even Ruka has been better to Kain than Yuuki’s been to Zero, and Ruka’s settling for Kain. Zero’s supposed to be the person who stopped Yuuki from truly loving Kaname, and the very reason Kaname got butthurt enough to rip out his heart in the first place. For a guy she’s supposed to love, she sure isn’t acting like she does. 

And before anyone accuses me of being a secret Kaname-apologist plant, let me assure you that I’m only pointing this out because this is a problem I see in Yuuki as a character, not because I’ve suddenly gained a liking for abusive relationships in my old age. I expect Hino to address the discrepancies here--why is she treating a man she’s supposed to truly love “worse” than a man she didn’t love? There needs to be something more to explain this than merely “master/servant’ bond and “Yuuki’s dumb.” And I expect that to be explored before I’ll be able to enjoy Zeki again. 

Parallels: VKM 13′s first and last scene bookends and Nights 49 & 61

I’m putting this in its own section simply because I want to highlight it and it doesn’t exactly fit above. There are quite a few scene parallels going on here because we’re still rushing through the Kuran Manor arc redux. First I’ll address the parallels between VKM 13′s first two scenes, then between VKM 13′s final scene and Nights 49 and 61.

The VKM 13 Bookends

Hino’s pretty good about bookend scenes. We’re clearly meant to compare/contrast VKM 13′s opening scene with it’s finale scene. Here’s what I found:

The first shot we see is Yuuki and Zero looking at each other on the title page. The last shot we see is them embracing but not mutually, nor are they looking at each other. 

Yuuki attacks Zero in the first scene, only to be rebuffed gently. Zero attacks Yuuki in the final scene, with no resistance from Yuuki. 

The first scene takes its time and slowly unfolds for the reader to give a sense of romance. The final scene rushes through what actually occurs over a long span of time to give a sense of chaos and urgency.

Yuuki confesses her fears to Zero about his feelings in the first scene and he delicately and honestly handles them in the correct way, reassuring her of how his feelings have evolved by playfully tousling her hair. Yuuki confesses her fears to Zero about his feelings in the final scene and he agrees with her and assaults her with no playfulness.

Yuuki comes away from the first scene more at peace with the situation than when she started it, though she’s clearly still concerned about something. She comes away from the final scene with no indication that she feels any more peaceful, and in fact she seems to feel worse. 

Zero responds to Yuuki’s fears correctly in the first scene and incorrectly in the second. 

A deliberate contrast like this in the same chapter is necessary to help people both recall that Zero’s generally a good man (and thus his actions at the end of VKM 13 are out of character and something to take note of) and to demonstrate that Zero and Yuuki can communicate in a more healthy way ordinarily. The parallels otherwise remain superficial, but the key takeaway is that things are “right” in the first scene and “wrong” in the last. 

VKM 13 vs. Nights 49 & 61

Several Kuran Manor arc parallels in this scene. I’m just going to list them:

Hino has multiple shots of just Zero’s eye in VKM 13, which is exactly like what she does with Kaname in Night 49. 

Hino eroticizes Yuuki’s expressions during the biting section of VKM 13, which mirror her expressions in Night 49 (also a scene where she “gave in” to a partner’s desires despite being upset/guilty herself rather than loving).

The blood splatters on Yuuki in VKM 13 mirror the multiple bites from Kaname in Night 61. 

Yuuki caressing Zero’s face and confessing her fears mirrors her reactions to Kaname in Night 61.

Yuuki’s weakened from the extreme blood loss in VKM 13 exactly as she was in Night 61.

Zero’s surface reason for egregiously biting Yuuki in VKM 13 mirrors Kaname’s surface reason for egregiously biting her in Night 61.

The parallels to the Kuran Manor arc are important because it shows that Zero’s behavior is wrong no matter the context. Kaname had “reasons” for treating Yuuki badly too, but those reasons aren’t excuses and shouldn’t be used as excuses. Just because Yuuki gives in to the abuse doesn’t make the abuse right. But that’s all I want to say on this subject for now, because this post is literally a novella now and I’m tired of writing it. 

The End Of The Line

So to sum up, this was in my opinion a horrible chapter and a blight on Zeki as a pairing and I expect Hino to clear it up immediately and stop dragging her damn feet. 

Otherwise, we’re going along quite well as far as narrative trajectory goes. I see one of two things happening: either a.) Hino keeps dragging this shit out and doesn’t let Zero leave or b.) she lets Zero leave finally. We may or may not get an apology, but if we don’t get an apology I will officially be done with the ship, though for personal reasons I’m not leaving the fandom until the end. Zero’d better apologize for this shit. It’s inexcusable; I don’t care how badly Yuuki’s treated him or how much she deserves it, I expect better from him. If I were his grandmother, that’s what I’d say to him.

@soulisthirsty mentioned to me that she thinks next chapter would be perfect for a Zeki breakup, as it’s conveniently the end of Volume 3. That would be the best Christmas present I could receive. This “restart” has been nothing but a joke and the sooner Zeki breaks up, the sooner we can have a genuine move toward a real relationship.

At this point, I feel that Yuuki doesn’t love anyone. I don’t think her actions imply she loves Zero anymore. I don’t think she loves Kaname. I think she’s a confused, unhappy woman who needs to sort herself out. A break up would do this for her--I think in order to actualize herself she needs to face her fears of being alone and overcome them. She’s been sitting on these fears since arc 1 of the original series, and in order to be a true heroine she’s got to overcome them to earn her happy ending.

Ideally, I’d like them to break up for 50-100 years. I’d like to see Zero actually try dating other girls, maybe even sleeping with them, maybe even having a family/kids of his own who are human. I’d like to see Yuuki try to live her life alone and lie in the bed she’s made for herself. I’d like to see her start appreciating the life Zero gave her. I could easily see Hino covering this span of time within 2-3 chapters if she wanted to (so in volume 4), then allowing the drama over the Vampire King to bring Zero and Yuuki naturally back into each other’s orbits, where they can fall in love naturally for the first time, both of them healed and whole.

But likely what we’ll get is a rebenching where Zero just uses the Vampire King as an excuse to put the relationship on cool down and have them go back to meeting at the bench. He’ll probably start looking for ways to revive Kaname, leading to the cure debacle. This will likely force Yuuki to have to at least deal with something regarding her feelings, whatever it is that finally makes her capable of sleeping with Zero to conceive Ren. *sigh* 

Zero, just realize that your true love is Aidou! Please! I beg you! *sigh*

Anyway, I can’t believe I made it through this monstrous chapter. I feel absolutely exhausted. Whoever makes it through this thing has my sincerest gratitude and admiration. But for now, I’m calling it quits. 

Until next time!

[nightmareonfilmstreet]

The Shape of Things – HALLOWEEN H20: Twenty Years Later

The dictionary definition of cash-in is described thusly: ‘to take advantage of or exploit (a situation)’. Ever since the motion picture industry became a going concern, it has unapologetically cashed-in on the success of its product. Take, for example, Bride of Frankenstein, Curse of the Cat People, Dracula: Prince of Darkness, or even Halloween II. While not necessarily superior to their predecessors, each is a wonderful film in its own right, beloved by genre fans. But there’s little doubting that they only exist due to the resounding success of the original; a studio, production company, writer or director merely sought to exploit this.

By the early 1990s, the horror film entered something of a fallow period. While it’s erroneous to suggest that there was nothing of value produced – Candyman and Army of Darkness, for example, both arrived in 1992 – it seemed there was very little to entice the teenage demographic to the cinema. Films such as Jacob’s Ladder saw a shift towards more mature themes and the psychological horrors of Jonathan Demme’s Silence of the Lambs only exemplified this approach. Merely a decade earlier, the slasher film was in its Golden Age, but as the 80’s wore on, tastes began to change. The teens who flocked to cinemas to take in scenes of gratuitous gore and nudity had all but grown up and moved on while the calibre of output took something of a nose-dive. As the 90’s dawned, purveyors of the slasher were still gamely toiling away. Amid the dreck, there was still a gem or two waiting to be discovered, but seeking out a cinema prepared to show Slumber Party Massacre III or Popcorn was a singularly tricky proposition. For all intents and purposes, the slasher had ceased to exist.

At the same time, a young actor named Kevin Williamson was pursuing a second career as a screenwriter. While attending a class at UCLA he managed to sell his first script, Killing Mrs. Tingle. He soon discovered, however, as the script languished on a shelf, that selling a screenplay did not necessarily equate to said screenplay evolving into a motion picture. But Williamson had an ace up his sleeve. After watching a news special about the serial killer Daniel Rolling, the writer began to sketch out the opening scene for a screenplay that he titled Scary Movie. Having found its way to Dimension Films, the genre arm of Miramax, the script landed on the lap of actress Drew Barrymore. Impressed by the mix of scares, irreverence, and an unapologetic celebration of the genre, she quickly signed on. After cajoling director Wes Craven, still licking his wounds after the failure of Vampire in Brooklyn, the film, now re-titled Scream was an instant hit, catapulting the slasher film and the horror genre back into the spotlight.

  “The resurgence of the slasher offered the opportunity for a new chapter [of The Halloween saga] to be written…”

  The autumnal period between late August and early December proved to be the most fertile ground for new slasher films. October 1997 and November 1998 saw the release of the first two installments in the I Know What You Did Last Summer franchise. The first in the Urban Legend series opened in September 1998, while the latest in the Chucky saga premiered only a month later. Kevin Williamson’s latest genre stab, a mix of high school anxiety crossed with body snatching paranoia in The Faculty rounded out the year, along with Gus Van Sant’s (nearly) shot-for-shot remake of proto-slasher, Psycho. Sandwiched between this new raft of slashers, and teen horrors, was another attempt to bring back a horror titan from the supposed dead. On August 5th, 1998, US audiences once again welcomed back Michael Myers in Halloween H20: Twenty Years Later.

Another product under the Dimension Films banner, Halloween H20 is in many ways the ultimate cash-in, seeking potential box office from two revenue streams, the nascent slasher boom and fans of the Halloween franchise. But it’s too simplistic to dismiss the film as nothing more than an attempt to jump the bandwagon.

For a start, the franchise had hit rock-bottom with Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers five years previously and with the coffers full, here was an ideal opportunity to redress the balance. Was it cynical? Possibly. But the fact of the matter is fans will always want to see more of their favorite anti-heroes. The resurgence of the slasher offered the opportunity for a new chapter to be written and Dimension duly charged Kevin Williamson with the job. His treatment, by way of some heavy exposition, linked the entire story together, from John Carpenter’s original to the forthcoming installment (with the exception of Halloween III: Season of the Witch). After consideration, it was decided to eschew several elements of Williamson’s story including any reference to the series beyond Halloween II. Hence, the alleged working title of Halloween 7: The Revenge of Laurie Strode became Halloween H20: Twenty Years Later. What remained of Williamson’s treatment was a slightly reworked version of the opening sequence, the academy setting and, most important, Laurie Strode.

      Halloween H20 is very much Laurie Strode’s story. Twenty years on she is still coming to terms with the events of Halloween night. Except, of course, she’s not really at all. Her coping strategy is to anesthetize the events with prescription drugs and alcohol. While she has a rudimentary command over her waking nightmares, she has no control over her unconscious mind. This is where we first meet Laurie (now Keri Tate), writhing on the bed in the grip of what we suppose is one of the countless times she awakens screaming. Her son John attempts to reassure her that she’s safe and well.

Of course, when John opens the medicine cabinet, and we see row upon row of prescription bottles. The truth about Keri’s mental condition is etched on his face as he taps several white pills into the palm of his hand. This is how Keri starts the day. This is how Keri starts every day. And when John pointedly mentions that they’re out of Percodan, Keri reacts with a smile and a change of subject. This is Keri back in control, but it’s a thin facade amid the opioid crisis taking place under the Tate roof.

Keri’s relationship with her son is only superficially matriarchal, but the dynamic between the two shifts continuously. As a single mother, responsible for a large number of children as the headmistress of a private academy, she unconsciously draws upon her vocational skills to scold or cajole him. He tries to make light of the increasing tension between them, by half-seriously suggesting: “Today is the day you are going to realize that I am seventeen years old and your overprotection and paranoia is inhibiting my growing process.” Keri’s face darkens though when John pushes to be allowed to leave the academy on a camping trip. When the subject of the anniversary of the Haddonfield murders arises, however, the dynamic shifts again and it is John who assumes the role of adult, drawing a line under the conversation, reminding her that “We’re through with all that.”

  “Keri is floundering […] struggling to reconcile the disparate threads of her life through a thin veneer of normality…”

  Despite the self-medication, or possibly because of it, the visions of Michael Myers remain. In a window reflection, for example, (she briefly mistakes her lover and colleague Will Brennan for Michael), or when a silhouetted figure approaches (Will again). Despite his attention and concern – Will is a counselor at the academy – and an offer to listen to Keri talk on a non-professional level about a problem her problems, Keri brushes him off, ordering another large glass of wine when he briefly excuses himself.

In Williamson’s treatment, Keri reveals the extent of her turmoil to the character Jake (a fellow teacher, who becomes Will in the final script), when he confronts Keri about her substance abuse: “I can go to all the little 12 step meetings in the world, and I can say, “Hi, I’m Keri, and I’m an alcoholic.” And everyone can hold me and tell me everything is going to be fine with Keri once she quits drinking but what you seem to be missing from your loving and non-judgemental point of view is that Keri doesn’t exist. At the end of the day, the Halloween mask comes off and it’s Laurie Strode who has to find a way to get to sleep at night without a butcher knife slicing into her dreams.”

It’s a revealing moment, but in the context of the final film perhaps a little too heavy-handed. Although the audience is mutually complicit in the knowledge that Michael Myers is coming for Keri, she only divulges information about her past and the persistent fear that Michael will one day come to finish the job. Finally disclosing her past, two-thirds of the way through the film, it also becomes abundantly clear that Keri’s alcoholism and addiction to prescription drugs aren’t wholly to blame for her visions and hallucinations, but an exacerbation of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) that she hasn’t even begun to address.

      As Halloween approaches, Keri’s alcohol and chemical dependency increase to ward off the encroaching dread that this may be the year Michael finally finds her. And yet, like the Ouroboros – the snake eating its own tail – Keri increasingly uses Michael as a crutch to indulge in her addictions. And when Keri scolds John for going off campus, arguing that all she asks for is one day for him not to disobey her, his response is as cutting as it is final: “If you want to stay handcuffed to your dead brother, that’s fine. But you’re not dragging me along. Not anymore.”

Keri is floundering during the first half of the film and struggling to reconcile the disparate threads of her life through a thin veneer of normality. Like Michael Myers, she also wears a mask. Michael’s is both literal and figurative, concealing any trace of humanity. But Keri’s mask is slipping. Twenty years of hiding, of maintaining a fictional life have taken their toll. Ironically, it’s a work of fiction that brings Keri to the realization that she must face her deepest fear. In a parallel to John Carpenter’s original, during a class discussion on Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein and the notion of fate, Molly Cartwell, the love interest of John, provides the moment of revelation: “Victor reached a point in his life where he had nothing left to lose. The monster saw to that by killing off everybody that he loved. Victor finally had to face it. It was about redemption. It was his fate.”

Another key moment follows when Keri finally allows John to go on the camping trip, telling him: “It’s good for you, it’s good for me.” A mother’s intuition is described as “the deep intuitive blood bond a mother can have with her child”, and it’s never more obvious than during this brief exchange. Keri is ostensibly giving John his freedom when her true motive is to move him out of harm’s way, sensing that Michael is closing in. John, meanwhile, is fully aware that something is amiss, but his plans have changed anyway, which will incur horrific consequences.

  “Halloween H20: Twenty Years Later remains a curiously underappreciated installment in the series.”

  Where Halloween H20 starts to falter is during the latter part of the film. The scenes which feature Michael Myers stalking John and his friends follow slasher conventions to the letter. They’re required to because this is what convention dictates, so it’s no surprise when the most sexually-active couple inevitably dies in line with the puritanical trope. The killing of young Sarah Wainthrope is particularly brutal, though not in a gore-fuelled sense. Instead, we’re made to watch Michael’s impassive masked face as he brings the knife down again and again on the unfortunate Sarah.

Elsewhere, components designed to ramp up the tension are all present. Near escapes, wounds that temporarily slow but don’t stop Michael, keys dropped at the vital moment and a handful of fun, but inconsequential call-backs to Carpenter’s original. It’s all somewhat by-the-numbers until Keri finally comes face to face with Michael. In that brief moment, Keri is Laurie Strode again. She’s no longer the headteacher of a private academy, an addict or a victim; she’s a mother, and she’s a fighter. Laurie is the one holding the gun, and when she tells Will to save himself because she won’t leave her son, we believe her. The dynamic has shifted once again.

Inevitably, it’s Will who finds the sharp end of Michael’s kitchen knife. In a moment of impetuous heroism, he snatches the gun away from Laurie and shoots Michael, only to discover he’s ‘killed’ the campus security guard Ronnie Jones. Shamefully, LL Cool J is given very little to do with a poorly-written attempt at comic relief, aside from reading aloud his attempts at adult fiction to an unseen girlfriend on the end of the phone.

    Laurie, finding unimaginable strength and resolve, finally sends her son out of harm’s way and goes to face her familial demon. In the final reckoning, Laurie, in her own meta moment, seemingly understands the rule of a killer returning for one last scare and following a brief, and almost touching moment of silent reconciliation between siblings, removes the head of the beast.

There’s plenty of truth to Jamie-Lee Curtis’s performance in Halloween H20, and it’s likely because Curtis herself was at the time addicted to alcohol and painkillers (she became sober the year following H20‘s release). Watching the film through fresh eyes after learning of her addiction struggles Curtis’ performance takes on an even greater sense of urgency and pathos. The pain etched upon her face isn’t acting, it’s the anguish of the actor.

With this being the twentieth anniversary of the release of Halloween H20, there has been plenty of reappraisal of the film, with many citing the phrase ‘cash-in’ and dismissing Steve Miner’s film outright for daring to be made in the wake of the Scream phenomenon. H20 seems to fall foul of some of the most vitriolic ire when discussing the late-90s slasher releases, and yet, aside from Scream, probably has the most compelling point to make. It’s undoubtedly a more straightforward film than it’s more celebrated sub-genre cousin, which may go some way to explaining why it receives the most criticism. But it’s no more glossy than any of its contemporaries, and the return of Jamie Lee Curtis in the role of Laurie Strode elevates it above similar material.

Dismiss it as a cash-in all you want. Despite the unfortunate timing of its release, Halloween H20 was actually trying to say something, however heavy-handedly, about the nature of PTSD and its effects on the individual. While Curtis has since revisited the role that she’ll forever be associated with, in the weakest of the series, Halloween: Resurrection and the forthcoming Halloween reinvention from Blumhouse – a film that revokes all but the original film’s place in the canon – Halloween H20: Twenty Years Later remains a curiously underappreciated installment in the series.

  The post The Shape of Things – HALLOWEEN H20: Twenty Years Later appeared first on Nightmare on Film Street - Horror Movie Podcast, News and Reviews.

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