#out of all the miller Eras™

[jilldrawblog]

>B(

[psychedelic-ink]

𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐘 𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃

pairing: joel miller x f!reader

genre: explicit smut, minors dni, childhood bestfriends to lovers, tlou'verse, jackson era, mild hurt/comfort

word count: 4.9k

summary: When your boyfriend is desperate to win back what he lost, he bets on you this time without your knowledge. And everyone knows you don't go back on your word when it comes to Joel Miller.

warnings: okay so technically not cheating because your boyfriend literally gambled you buuut if that's not your thing I totally get it, piv, dirty talk, choking, spitting, size kink, soft!joel & feral!joel, he likes hearing how big he is, affectionate whore calling™, a hint of analplay, oral (receiving and giving)

a/n: another joel fic inspired by p.orn, we love to see it

a special thank you to @nothoughtsjustmeds for the beta! 💕

Joel was never that into gambling. 

Back before everything had gone to shit, that had always been more Tommy’s forte than his own. Joel doesn’t remember the amount of times he’d had to bail his brother out, either by protecting him while putting himself in the middle or by giving him loans he’d never ever see again. Joel hadn’t minded. Tommy was his baby brother after all. As long as he was safe Joel was happy—annoyed, for sure, but happy. 

He was surprised when he learned that Jackson had a pretty heavy gambling scene and that Tommy wasn’t a part of it. He didn’t know why that was, because even on the nights where he had to go bail him out and bring him home all bloodied and bruised, Tommy just made the same mistakes. Not even Sarah’s worried expression, while she peered from between the wooden stair railing, deterred him from it. 

Guess it was different when your own kid was on the way. 

However, despite his lack of interest in gambling, he found himself betting away what little he had for someone else—someone he thought he would never see again. But honestly, he wasn’t half bad at it so he didn’t mind it that much. His only complaint was when he had to get messy hunting down those who didn’t pay up. 

One by one the men around the table folded, only leaving Joel and Liam. A huge stack of weaponry lies in the middle of the table, Liam’s eyes constantly flit between the stack and Joel. They stare at each other long and hard. Joel knows that he’s going to win. He usually did with these face-offs. 

Liam folds. 

A small smile tugs at the corner of Joel’s lips. There’s nothing better than to take what someone he absolutely detests wants. 

“Let’s go again,” Liam grunts, his forehead shining with sweat. 

Joel raises an eyebrow, “You don’t have anythin’ else to bet on.” 

“Come on now, Miller,” Liam leans back into his chair. “There must be something that you want.” 

Joel’s eyes bore into his long enough for the man to grow uncomfortable and nervous. Only then did he speak. 

“You still have that pretty girlfriend?” 

Someone Joel didn’t bother learning the name of pipes up from his right, “I thought we were only betting huntin’ supplies this time.” 

“Come on, let the man try to win his rifle back.” Joel grins. 

“Fuck you, Miller.” 

“Careful now,” he slowly places his elbows on the old table, his weight on it enough to let out a threatening creak. He cocks his head to the side, his smile small but still there. “My kindness wears thin.” 

Liam’s an addict. And of course, he says yes. 

“You fucking gambled me away?!” your voice is shaking, body trembling all over as you pace back and forth in front of the couch Liam was nestled on top of. At least he has the decency to look guilty. “What the fuck is wrong with you, Liam? I’m your girlfriend, not some kind of deer hide you can put on the table.” 

“Look I said I was sorry alright?” He stands up fast enough to make you flinch. He holds you by the shoulders, thumbs moving in a soothing manner. “Won’t happen again, I promise.” 

You scoff, “We both know that’s a lie.” You lift your chin up in defiance. “I won’t do it. I have free will. You can’t make me.” 

That makes Liam sweat. You can’t blame him, you’ve heard of Joel’s. . . outbursts. But honestly, that’s the least of your worries. You’re mostly confused as to why Joel asked for you specifically. You’re positive that he’d been avoiding you ever since he came into Jackson, only talking to you a handful of times. Why now? And why like this?

“Baby,” Liam whines, snapping you away from your thoughts. “You have to. He’s crazy, he’ll kill me.” 

“You should’ve thought of that before.” 

“Please. All you’d have to do is entertain him for the night, make him happy.” 

“So to be his plaything? Is that what you want?” 

“Maybe he’ll ask you to cook him dinner, hell if I know.” 

“Sure,” you roll your eyes. “I’m sure he’ll just want something to eat.” 

You give him one more look before slipping away from his gentle hold. Your heartbeat is slow, hours spreading across every beat, making your chest feel heavy and lightheaded.

“Fine,” you cave, wrapping yourself with your shaking arms. “But after this, I’m done, Liam. I’m so tired of bailing you out.” 

“You can’t leave, where would you go?” 

The soft tone he used while begging you to spread your legs for Joel quickly turns into a tone with sharp, dagger-like edges. You don’t say anything. Don’t answer him or agree with him. You’re lost in a broken world. 

And now, amongst all the things you’ve been through, you have to see the pity in your childhood best friend’s eyes. 

You don’t want to be here. You don’t. It’s embarrassing. 

Your boyfriend is in the other room, brooding on his couch, examining his life choices. You’re not doing any better. Your robe loose over your shoulders, the chill of the bedroom settling over your skin. It’s especially embarrassing because it’s Joel for crying out loud. You’ve known each other since you were kids causing mischief all around the neighborhood. You still remember the time you fell and scraped your knee, how he kissed it better and placed a pink bandaid over it because it was your favorite color. 

Why the hell had he asked for you? To humiliate you? Well, he definitely succeeded. 

The door opens and you jolt. His presence is large in the room, making you shudder despite yourself. Your pulse quickens. You shouldn’t be afraid of him yet here you are, trembling like a newborn doe. He closes the door with a gentle click, the wood creaking and solidifying your fate. 

You haven’t known him for years. Even before the outbreak had torn the world apart. You had moved away two years prior and after everything went down you never expected to see him again. When he showed up in Jackson you barely recognized him. He looked rugged, more salt than pepper in his beard, his eyes drained of life. He had scars that ran deep and he had found a kid along the way. You were surprised but relieved to see he still had a big heart. 

You were ashamed the first time you two sat down after years. Everyone knew of Liam’s gambling problem, he couldn’t help it, and you knew that Joel knew. You hated the idea of him pitying you, of him seeing the world weighing down on you. You’ve heard from around that Joel also started to place bets. Nothing too big though, unlike your boyfriend who would bet on almost anything in the house. You knew those bets could turn out violent and people feared Joel. Even in a safe utopia like Jackson, the kind of man he’d become traveled from ear to ear, striking fear. And when someone that owed him money ended up with a bloody nose and broken jaw. . . no one dared to deny him of anything. 

And it seemed like you were no exception. 

Joel stands in front of you, his sleeves pulled up to his elbows, exposing sinewy muscle. He stands close. Close enough that you feel his breath on your lips. Your eyelids flutter before you avert them, tears stinging the corners. 

You drop the robe, the old fabric pooling at your ankles. You’re left in a decent enough-looking bra and somewhat matching underwear. 

“Not interested,” Your entire body goes taut, eyes wide. You hear the blood rush in your ears. Joel moves past you and takes a seat on the bed, crossing his arms over the expanse of his broad chest. You stare at him and a thick knot forms in your throat. He gives you a brief look before explaining. “I only wanted to teach your boyfriend a lesson. He’s reckless. One of these days he’s gonna be in real debt to me and, darlin’, I don’t want you gettin’ caught in the middle.” 

Your heart drops. You don’t know what you’ve been expecting but it certainly isn’t this. Tears blurring your vision, you quickly bend over and scoop up your robe, throwing it over your shoulders. Somewhere along memory lane, you forgot to remind yourself that Joel was your first; first crush, first love, first kiss, first time. But it just hadn’t worked out. You had stayed close friends until you moved away, he had Sarah, you had a promising career. You were planning on getting back to him. It just never came to be. Liam didn’t know you knew Joel, only Tommy knew about the connection you two had, mainly because he was there. 

And now you had Liam—Boyfriend who calls you names because he hates everything, Liam. Shitty boyfriend, Liam. Boyfriend who put you up as a prize, Liam. 

It’s just too much. All of it. Your heart can’t handle how unfair it all is. The pity Joel shows you, the way Liam treats you. He loves you, you know that much, but he just doesn’t care enough to treat you right or tend to you when he’s so broken himself. He doesn’t understand that you would take care of him just as much. 

And now you’re just a shell. A shell of your former self. 

The first salty tear slips from your lashes, it’s followed by another and then another. 

You manage to reach the end of the bed on shaky legs, collapsing, you cover your face, heaving silently into your palms. You don’t want Liam to hear you cry, deep down you want him to think Joel is fucking you this very instant. You want him to feel guilt, or at least a sliver of the way you feel. 

There’s a gentle hand on your shoulder. Your brain doesn’t even register that Joel is pulling you into his chest, wrapping solid arms around your shaking frame. He holds the back of your neck, squeezing tenderly just like he did when your mom yelled at you and he wanted to calm you down. 

“Why are you cryin’?” he mumbles. “I told you I’m not gonna do anythin’ to you. Or to him. I just wanted him to think before he put you in any danger. What if it wasn’t me there? Not everyone is as they seem in this town.” 

After all this time Joel Miller is still looking out for you. 

“It’s not that,” you answer, between sniffled and muffled hiccups. “I’m embarrassed and so fucking tired. I don’t want you thinking I’m some damsel in distress, even though me crying isn’t really helping,” you take a deep breath and peel yourself unwillingly from his chest. “I don’t feel good about myself. I never do with him. I just feel like shit with some more shit thrown over. And well. . . now I know that you don’t want me either. It’s just too much. But I’ll be okay, thank you for looking out after me even though I’m a mess.” 

He suddenly grips your chin and pulls you close enough that your noses almost touch, “What the hell makes you think that I don’t want you?” 

“You. . .” with a sigh, you look away. “You didn’t want to fuck me.” 

“You want me to fuck you, sweetheart?”

Squeezing your chin, he forces your gaze back to him. His lips are parted, pupils wide enough to hide the chocolate brown of his eyes. He seems just as surprised as you feel. Arousal pools between your legs, heat dripping down the curve of your spine. You press your thighs together and swallow. 

Joel’s hand moves up to your cheek and cups it gently, thumb toying with the corner of your lip, “I just never thought you’d be interested if I’m bein’ honest. Especially not after. . . everything I’ve done.” 

“You’ve done what you’ve had to do to survive,” you kiss the curve of his palm and he shifts, coming even closer. “I always wanted to come back to you, you know? You’re my first love, Joel Miller. Deep down I always wanted you to be the last.” 

Joel was never an emotional guy. He always had trouble expressing what he thought and felt, thinking he always had to hide behind large invisible walls. The outbreak had put a magnifying glass over that quality of his. You can only tell that your words affected him by how the crease between his brows softens and his cheeks gain a subtle red hue. 

He only grunts as he forcefully brings your hand to his crotch, his cock hard and throbbing under your palm. His lips skim down your neck, kissing where your pulse beats frantically. Joel grinds into your palm, “You still want to fuck with your boyfriend waiting in the living room?” 

“God, yes.” 

You stand up and he parts his legs for you, allowing you to take your rightful place between them. Looking up, his fingers dance up your shoulders, pushing off the robe so it once again pools at your feet. The fabric of your bra has worn away with time, meaning that your nipples meet no resistance as they stiffen under his gaze. Joel licks his lips and brings both thumbs to the peaks, rubbing them until they’re fully hard. 

Then he suddenly shoves you closer to him, your aching nipple met with his wanting mouth. He sucks through the fabric. Saliva darkens the color. He sucks and moans each individual nipple until both are hard like diamonds and only then do you find yourself on the bed, his mouth still on you, starving for more. Your back forms the perfect arch, the sheets feeling like silk against your skin despite them being years old—almost rotten.

He drags his lips down your body, rough facial hair tickling your skin, your hips helplessly stutters into the air. Two large hands pin your hips down. You can’t help the noises that tumble from your lips. For the first time, you’re feeling whole. He lays soft kisses against your inner thighs and finally, he reaches where you want him most. 

Joel sucks your clit through the fabric and your body jerks, seeking the heat of his mouth against your bare cunt instead. He smiles, digging his blunt nails into your flesh. 

“Patience,” he licks a stripe down your clothed folds. “I want you to be loud, sweetheart. Make noise for me. If you want me to fuck you, that’s my price—your sounds.” 

Liam never liked the sounds you made. Unless you were mimicking porn and whispering how close you were, which was a very rare occasion. 

Joel slides his hands up to the softness of your stomach, squeezing gently. Like you might fade away at any given second. He kisses the lips of your pussy and his eyes flutter closed. 

“Doesn’t it feel good,” he begins, his southern drawl more prominent as his voice grows deeper. “To have that prick in the next room listenin’ to me fuck you, riddled with guilt because he bet on his pretty girlfriend?” 

It does feel good. “You think I’m pretty?” 

“‘Course I do,” his brows furrow, eyes finding yours. “Prettiest girl I’ve known since the first day my dick got hard.” 

The words send a tingle up your spine but Joel doesn’t allow you to linger on them for long. He slides your underwear to the side. The fabric sticky with slick, he immediately presses his lips deep into your cunt, tongue swirling around your entrance and teasing it by pushing in the tip. You cry out and grip his head, your legs pressing against his ears. Your heart hammers within the confinements of your ribcage. 

“Gonna ruin you,” he groans, licking himself deeper and rutting the bed. Your eyes roll back, your body melting with every fat stroke of his tongue. 

Joel takes you apart slowly. His jaw moves, head lazily going from left to right. You feel so wet, soaked, from both his mouth and your slick. It’s almost like he goes slower the more soaked you are. He draws various shapes around your throbbing clit. You're left withering under him, shaking, begging, and moaning his name loud enough that the entirety of Jackson could probably hear. The wet smack of his mouth is followed by loud slurps and groans, and your stomach coils tight. 

After all these years, Joel Miller had certainly learned a few new tricks. He wasn’t that same teenager anymore, though, neither were you. He feels different, yet he also feels the same. Like a familiar wind stroking your skin. 

“So damn wet and sweet like honey, fuck.” 

He moves away and you nearly cry out of frustration, fingers burrowing into the old sheets. You only move when you hear the deafening sound of a belt buckle coming loose. Joel’s pants drop to his ankles, cock painfully hard and slightly curving to the side. Your mouth waters, “No underwear?” 

“Got too lazy to wash’em last Sunday,” he lazily strokes himself. Today is Tuesday. He’s been going commando all this time. More saliva fills your mouth, you don’t know why but the thought excites you and he seems to notice. “You always did get turned on by the weirdest things,” he mutters. “Now get on your knees, sweetheart. Been waitin’ a long time to feel those lips again.” 

You pout, “Forearms are sexy, ask anyone.”

Joel sighs and shakes his head, his dark gaze makes you clench around nothing. He ignores your comment entirely.  “Don’t make me say it again.” 

You sink to your knees immediately after that. 

He’s so much thicker than you remember. The bulbous head a beautiful shade of red, shiny beads of precome gathered at the slit. You notice the vein meandering down the underside of his cock and you trace it with the tip of your tongue. The blood pumps harder in response, his length twitches and smears the shiny pearls against your cheek. 

You moan as you finally take him between your lips. The corners of your mouth sting from how wide you need to open to accommodate him. You manage to take him half way in, swirling your tongue, you hollow out your cheeks. 

“That’s it—That’s it, fuck—suck me harder, sweetheart, please—” his hips rock forward, his cock filling your mouth until the head is hitting the back of your throat. You choke on him and his head falls at the way your throat constricts around the width of him. He then pulls out, prompting you to look up. His hair is a mess, lips swollen and parted. “Use your spit, need you to wet my cock good if you want me to fit darlin’. I ain’t that teenager anymore.” 

You kiss the soft crease between his balls, rolling them with your tongue. You’re delighted to witness how he shudders at the soft caress of your lips, “I can see that.” 

“Get on with it then.” 

Joel sounds almost annoyed—no, not annoyed, but eager, desperate—to have your mouth wrapped around him with Liam in the other room. You don’t want to make him wait so you slowly allow a thin line of saliva to drip from between your lips. His thighs tense when it touches the head of his cock. 

“Is his dick as big as mine?” he asks, jaw locked, words bouncing off of clenched teeth. 

“No,” you gasp, dragging your lips down the length of him while staring at him through heavy lashes. “No, it’s not as big as yours.”

Suddenly you’re lifted to your feet, your body nothing but a ragdoll as he pushes you to the bed, the old mattress creaking with protest at the added weight.  

“Play with that fuckin’ pussy for me, I want to see it.” He wraps a hand around his weeping cock, his strokes hard and calculated. Your breasts tingle as you push a hand between your thighs, he clicks his tongue in disapproval, approaching the end of the bed. “Spread your legs wide, honey.” 

As soon as you open your legs and spread your folds for him to see how soaked you are, he’s quick to climb up the bed. Turning you to your side, he gets right behind you. Joel wets his own fingers, sucking on them with a loud groan before replacing yours with his own. He rubs your clit with precise movements, each stroke hitting the mark and making you see bright, dazzling stars. Your body moves on its own. Heat pools between your legs, your hips grinding back to feel the heft of him on your ass. 

“Joel, please,” you whimper. “Please, fuck me, please—” 

His lips touch your cheek and he breathes heavily, his chest heaving and rattling with every exhale. You feel the head of his cock slowly sinking into you, stretching you wide as his lips decorate your sweaty skin with fleeting kisses. 

“You’re takin’ me so fuckin’ well, honey,” your eyes roll back, a mild pain blossoming from where you two connect. He brushes his fingers over your clit, the sharp pleasure shortening your breath. “That’s it. That’s my girl takin’ my big cock so well. So good. So good for me.” 

Your jaw drops as you take him inch by inch. He continuously plays with your clit, kissing you and whispering words of praise while his tongue plays with your earlobe. You feel like mush. Like dough that only he can mold. Your lashes grow wet with tears, your heart beating so wild that you swear he can hear it as well. Joel slightly pulls back his hips and pushes back in, your breath catches in your throat, and soon enough he begins fucking you with shallow thrusts. 

“Is this what you wanted, huh?” he mutters into your ear. You nod helplessly, your body burning from the inside out. “Tell me, louder, come on,” a smack echoes in the small room, and pain blossoms over your ass cheek. “Come on, louder.” 

“Yes!” you cry out. In a weak attempt to meet his thrusts, you roll your hips. “Yes, this is what I wanted. I’ve never stopped thinking about it—never stopped thinking about you.” 

“Is this pussy mine?” 

“Yes, it’s fucking yours.” 

Your voice must’ve come out too much like a whisper because Joel’s pace quickens. He fucks you hard, deep, hammering into you until you’re struggling for air. He wraps thick fingers around your neck, squeezing until there’s pressure building under your eyes, your lungs burning. 

He loosens his grip around your throat, “I wanna hear it, come on now, don’t make me beg for it. Tell me, is it mine?” 

“Yours! It’s fucking yours!” 

Suddenly Joel is underneath you and you’re on top, his hips relentless as he snaps his hips up into you. It feels even better now. The way his cock massages your walls shooting crackles of electricity up your spine. He holds your ass with both hands and spreads you for his liking. 

You moan his name and when you look down, seeing him staring at your face, a sudden gush of embarrassment overwhelms you and with a small whimper, you cover his eyes with both your hands. Joel grits his teeth at that. He fucks you harder, the vicious way he presses inside making you gasp and drop your hands so you can brace yourself by flattening your palms over his chest. His eyes flash with anger. 

“Why the fuck—” he growls, “would you cover my eyes?” 

“I–I got embarrassed—” you squeeze your eyes shut and open them back again. You push down your hips, taking him to the hilt as a form of apology, but he doesn’t seem to accept it and holds you still. Your head falls back with his every thrust. 

“If you ever pull that stunt again, I’ll take you over my knee,” he rasps, ignoring the way your pussy clenches at his words. 

His finger teases your asshole and beads of sweat gather at your tailbone. Joel’s grin is dangerous, something you’d run away from rather than run towards. But you can’t help it. A wanton moan rattles your throat, your pussy clenching hard around his cock. He presses forward, burying his finger down to the first knuckle. You shudder over and over, your body building tension and releasing it simultaneously. 

“You like that, wildflower?” he groans, thrusting his finger in and out while snapping his hips up. “You enjoy it when I play with your tight little asshole?” 

“Fuck, fuck—Joel—yes, yes I do.” 

His other hand snakes around the back of your neck and yanks you down. His damp lips touch your ear, “Gonna fuck this hole one day, pretty thing. . . gonna fuck it so hard you’re not gonna be able to stand for weeks.” 

Before you can catch your breath, you’re being hauled towards the closed door, the emptiness you feel sudden and cold. He pulls your hips up, presses your cheek against the barely standing wood. Your hard nipples graze against the surface, a jolt of pleasure shooting up your spine. Again, Joel thrusts forward, filling you to the brim. The mild pain tingles within your lower abdomen and you melt against him, eyes rolling back as you wiggle your ass for him. 

With every rock of his hips, your body hits the door with a thud and you’re sure Liam can hear every forceful fuck, “Tell him how fuckin’ bigger I am than him—I wanna fuckin’ hear, it come on.” 

“He’s so much bigger than you!” you groan, bracing your palm against the door. “You hear me, Liam? Never had a bigger cock in my life, I’m soaked.” 

Liam’s muffled voice follows through, “Jesus fucking Christ, what the hell is wrong with you? You fucking whore!” 

You know it shouldn’t, but his words still jar you. 

“I’ll fuckin’ break his hands for that, don’t you worry darlin’,” Joel mutters into your skin, his words marking you as something untouchable. “And I’ll make it fuckin’ hurt.” He then kisses your shoulder and shouts towards the door, slamming especially hard this time so the thud of you hitting the door echoes. “You’re the one who gambled her like some kind of prize you dickhead. Don’t blame her for feelin’ good about it!” 

“You could never satisfy me,” you say barely above a whisper, like you’re not entirely sure you’re allowed to feel good about this. About finally having him all to yourself. 

“That’s it, tell him,” Joel growls, pushing his cock even deeper. You swear that if you looked down at your stomach, you’d see a bulge, as impossible as that sounds. “Tell him.” 

You desperately grab at Joel’s forearms, feeling the sinewy muscle tense. Your slick drips down his length and wets the inside of your thighs. With a loud moan you repeat your words and it feels delightful. 

You only smile when you hear the outer door close shut. Liam is gone. 

“Yes yes yes,” Joel murmurs into your neck, ramming into you harder. “That’s it, come on my cock, sweetheart, please—I wanna feel it—” 

Your breath catches in your throat, body seizing, “B—Bed,” you manage to choke out. 

If he pulled out, you’re not aware. His body is a constant presence against your back, lips always latched on to a patch of skin, tasting the salt. Joel lays you down gently and pushes your legs high enough that it grazes your forehead with every desperate snap of his hips. 

“Is this what you want?” he groans, the wet noises of him fucking into the tight fist of your cunt bouncing off the walls. 

“Yes, Joel— this is what I want.” 

“My whore,” he leans over and grinds into you. He slips his tongue into your mouth, sucks on your tongue. The back of your thighs ache with protest but you whimper into the kiss anyway. Breaking the kiss, Joel breathes into you, “My good sweet little whore,” and another kiss. 

Your eyes roll back, “So deep,” you groan, breaking the kiss. 

“Deeper deeper deeper,” Joel mocks you by mimicking your dazed tone with his drawl. He slowly pushes in, holding himself there, he halts your breath. “How’s that, wildflower? Deep enough for you?” 

“Oh god, Joel—” you choke. You fist the sheets, your cunt fluttering and throbbing. He doesn’t move, he flexes his cock and the pressure of that is enough to break you. 

Joel wasn’t expecting it, this much your muddled brain is able to realize from the shocked groan he lets out. His lips find purchase on your forehead, kissing and mumbling praise as your entire body clenches and releases, your pussy gushing around him. You feel the trickles of fresh wetness ripping out of you and all you can do is take it when Joel resumes his thrusts, fucking you through your messy orgasm. 

Despite your insistent begging of wanting him to come inside, Joel pulls out, coming undone instantly as he does so. He rubs himself over your mound, thick ropes of come spurting across your stomach and even the underside of your right breast. He releases your legs and they fall limply to his sides. 

Joel kisses you long and deep, his weight comforting above your trembling body. When he finally pulls away, he lets out a low chuckle and brushes your noses together. 

“I think he left, sweetheart.” 

“Good,” you mumble and press a quick kiss to his flushed lips. “All I want is you.” 

Liam’s not your boyfriend anymore. 

[stelly38]

I've been meaning to share this and finally got 'round to it. Occasionally, I write some review/recommendations for a group I'm in. This was my five cents on Rivals.

Rivals is pretty much everything the press said it would be, and then some, although it doesn’t start out that way. The first two episodes are slow and light on content as characters are introduced and plot points are set. But hang with it—the story really picks up from the third episode, when everything begins falling into place.

I’d been looking forward to this series mostly because it stars the deliciously hairy and handsome Aidan Turner, delightful in the role of Declan O’Hara, hard-hitting journalist and TV presenter fresh off his job with the BBC. He’s lured into indie TV by Lord Tony Baddingham, played by the always-entertaining David Tennant, who is terribly, wonderfully evil in his role as the director of Corinium Television, the biggest company in Rutshire County, where the story takes place. The other main character, Rupert Campbell Black, (Alex Hassell), is a filthy-old-money-rich and famous ex-Olympian, cad, and MP, as well as the Most Handsome Man in all of England™. Lord Tony has hatched a plan to ruin Rupert (the two are sworn enemies) by inviting him to be interviewed live on Declan’s new talk show. Intrepid journalist that he is, Declan has unearthed the dirtiest dirt on Campbell-Black, and he’s just itching to smear him in an effort to keep him from sniffing around Taggie, his beautiful, too-young-for-Rupert daughter.

Add to this mix Declan’s flirtatious and frustrated wife, Maud (Victoria Smurfit), as well as a cast of other colorful, endearing characters, all tangentially connected to Corinium, and the stage is set for all sorts of accurate-for-the-era shenanigans, some of which may be shocking to viewers who weren’t around for this decade. Think British Dallas or Dynasty with nudity and sex, backstabbing and adultery and corruption, and a much better sense of humor. There is full-frontal nudity (Alex Hassell), and many, many pairs of breasts, so be prepared for that.

David Tennant has the bitchiest and best lines, and I laughed good and long at those zingers. Tony is a truly detestable character, but it is difficult to hate him, because David is so wonderful. My favorite scene (barring any naked Aidan Turner) in all eight episodes is when Lord Tony throws an epic tantrum. I’ll leave it there. (FYI, the final episode ends abruptly on a cliffhanger, as the series only goes about halfway through the novel by Jilly Cooper.)

Speaking of Mr. Turner, we get to see quite a bit of him (just not that bit), as well as a huge, ridiculous mustache à la Hal Linden in Barney Miller. The mustache is so big, it kind of makes up for the bit of Turner we don’t get to see… a girl can dream, right? Turner, as Declan, appears mostly naked in the kitchen while getting ready for work; in the tub, scrubbing up; and in various rooms of his home, satisfying his wife. I shed a tear of horny gratitude that television producers have finally refrained from touching Turner’s chest hair, save to comb it, perhaps—those lucky, lucky set groomers.

In a nutshell, the show is a snapshot of 1980s English society folk, framed around the power struggles within the independent television industry. It’s good, silly fun—trash—in a word, that is well aware it’s trash. In fact, it wears that badge with pride. While actual trash has zero value, Rivals manages to sprinkle some sharp and insightful social critique in among all the teased hair, orgies, blue mascara, and insane parties of Rutshire County.

Here’s hoping for a second season.

[millersdjarin]

Millersdjarin Fic Masterlist

reblog-able masterlist ❤️

{**indicates smut}

Joel Miller

Baby, Show Me** ♥︎ Pairing: Joel Miller x F!Reader ♥︎ Rating: E ♥︎ Word Count: 4.2k ♥︎ Tags/Warnings: smut, d/s untertones, but it’s also just really soft at the same time, joel in charge, multiple orgasms, communication, enthusiastic consent, pet names, praise kink, so much praise kink that you’ll never doubt yourself again

Some Invisible String** ♥︎ Pairing: Joel Miller x F!Reader ♥︎ Rating: E ♥︎ Status: Complete, 5 Chapters (21.6k) ♥︎ Summary: Ten years after Reader left Joel for reasons he still doesn’t know, they find themselves together again in a town called Jackson. Joel has questions he’s too afraid to ask; and Reader dreads having to give the answers. ♥︎ Tags/Warnings: eventual smut, post TLOU part I, jackson era joel

My Hands are Shaking (From Holding Back From You)** ♥︎ Pairing: Joel Miller x F!Reader ♥︎ Rating: E ♥︎ Word Count: 6k ♥︎ Tags/Warnings: SMUT, i am a slut !!!!, light d/s, joel in charge, communication, praise kink, pu**y slaps, just filth!!, aftercare, pet names, rough sex, unprotected p in v, dirty talk, established relationship

Religion's In Your Lips** ♥︎ Pairing: Joel Miller x F!Reader ♥︎ Rating: E ♥︎ Word Count: 5.4k ♥︎ Tags/Warnings:  smut, joel’s Skills™, oral (f receiving), rough sex, unprotected piv, a bit of mandhandling from joel, dirty talk, begging, praise kink, all that good stuff

Shorter posts/blurbs/headcanons:

♥︎ Domestic!Married!Couple Joel x F!Reader

-

Din Djarin

Parts of You ♥︎ Pairing: Din Djarin x F!Reader ♥︎ Rating: T - M ♥︎ Word Count: 1.9k ♥︎ Tags/Warnings: helmetless!din, established relationship, soft, tender, soft!din, brief mention of a fight

I Only See Daylight** ♥︎ Pairing: Din Djarin x F!Reader ♥︎ Rating: E ♥︎ Status: Complete ♥︎ Word Count: ~141.6k ♥︎ Tags/Warnings: slow burn, eventual smut, post-canon, trauma, past emotiona/physical abuse, religious trauma, cults, scars, negative self-image, din working out his shit, reader working out her shit, found family, injury, heavy angst but also lots of fluff and love (drop me a message if you need any more details on any of the warnings)

Don't Wanna Look (At Anything Else)** ♥︎ Pairing: Din Djarin x F!Reader ♥︎ Rating: E (explicit, SMUT) ♥︎ Smut chapter #1 from I Only See Daylight

In These Trying Times ♥︎ Pairing: Din Djarin x F!Reader ♥︎ Rating: G ♥︎ Word Count: 2.7k ♥︎ Tags/Warnings: diabetes, hypoglycaemia, almost-fainting, protective!din, secrets, food

[sbknews]

Miller rolls out a new lap record to head the first Friday charge to Q2

The riders heading straight to Q2 are decided as Miller sets a new lap record, Bagnaia starts strong and Marquez loses a cat and mouse with Quartararo. Another two tenths have come off the fastest ever lap of the Autodromo Internacional do Algarve, courtesy of none other than Jack Miller (Red Bull KTM Factory Racing). "Thriller" lived up to his name to come out on top, defeating Maverick Viñales (Aprilia Racing) by less than half a tenth. Third goes to the previous record holder at Portimao, reigning Champion Francesco Bagnaia (Ducati Lenovo Team), as rollercoaster Day 1 sets the new era in motion.

P1 Light rain in the opening stages of the session saw the majority of the grid watch the opening laps from the pitlane, but with about half an hour to go, the rain cleared and it was go time. A flurry of fast laps in the closing stages of the session decided the order, and an incredible lap came in from Alex Marquez (Gresini Racing MotoGP™) to secure top spot. Meanwhile Repsol Honda - aka Marc Marquez and Joan Mir - did some formation flying, and by the end of the session Mir secured second with some solid early signs. The Mooney VR46 Racing Team duo of Luca Marini and Marco Bezzecchi also pushed hard in the morning, taking third and fourth. The top Aprilia was Viñales in sixth, ahead of Jorge Martin (Prima Pramac Racing), who led the session up until the closing stages. Key title contenders Fabio Quartararo (Monster Energy Yamaha MotoGP™) and Bagnaia had a relatively quiet session and finished P1 locked together in eighth and ninth, with Marc Marquez forced to settle for P10.

P2 It was a stop start afternoon session with a first Red Flag due to systems issue at the track, but as the clock ran down the times continued to tumble. Martin set a mid-session banker, the first rider to get below the previous race weekend record, and with the pace set, the rest of the grid chased down the Spaniard's lap time. The riders were pushing hard, including the 2022 Champion Bagnaia, who also had a high-speed moment, saving it heroically on his elbow as he hurtled through the fast-flowing final corner. With 15 minutes to go, Aleix Espargaro (Aprilia Racing) went top, before a second Red Flag caused another stoppage due to a crash for Pol Espargaro (GASGAS Factory Racing Tech3). The Spaniard was taken to Faro hospital for further examination and more details can be found here. Once the session was back underway, soft tyres were thrown in and another flurry of fast laps followed, as the riders competed to get into that all-important top 10 for a secure spot in Q2. With eight minutes to go, Pecco took his number-1-plated Ducati to the top with an incredible 1:37.856, but that was all she wrote for the Italian following his stellar lap as he swiftly retired from the session with an issue. That left a target, and the timing screens began to light up with just two minutes remaining. Two riders bettered Bagnaia by the flag: Miller and Viñales, who both flew into the 1:37 club to put themselves in prime positions heading into Saturday. That left Bagnaia third ahead of Marini who bounced back into fourth, with Martin forced to settle for fifth. Quartararo takes sixth on Day 1... and had some company from Marc Marquez in the afternoon. Reminiscent of a few moments in recent seasons, the number 93 was locked onto the number 20 for a little while, and got caught out. Marquez went down at Turn 3 and lost his chance to improve further, finding himself out of Q1 but rider perfectly ok. Behind Quartararo in sixth then comes not Marquez but Johann Zarco (Prima Pramac Racing), with Bezzecchi next up. Aleix Espargaro goes through in ninth, with the last rider in Q2 for now proving Enea Bastianini (Ducati Lenovo Team).... just! Alex Marquez, Joan Mir, Alex Rins (LCR Honda Castrol) and Marc Marquez will now head for Q1. Cold tyres caught out Bezzecchi and Augusto Fernandez (GASGAS Factory Racing Tech3) early after the session was restarted. Both riders were up and ok, and back on track for the rest of the session. Miguel Oliveira (CryptoData RNF MotoGP™ Team) suffered a highside, rider ok, and teammate Raul Fernandez also crashed in the afternoon, rider ok.

Riders through to Q2: Miller, Viñales, Bagnaia, Marini, Martin, Quartararo, Zarco, Bezzecchi, Aleix Espargaro and... Bastianini! Find the full timesheets below and join us for super Saturday with FP at 10:10, qualifying from 10:50 and then some history made at 15:00 as the first MotoGP™ Sprint begins! MotoGP Top 3 - Qualifying Day 1 - Portimao 1. Jack MILLER - AUS - Red Bull KTM Factory - 1'37.709 2. Maverick VIÑALES - SPA - Aprilia Racing - 1'37.746 3. Francesco BAGNAIA - ITA - Ducati Lenovo - 1'37.856 For more MotoGP info checkout our dedicated MotoGP News page Or visit the official MotoGP website www.motogp.com Read the full article

[terrainofheartfelt]

*pirouette**arabesque* just dancing in to give another unsolicited song recommendation - "love you like that" by dagny is the song for all your "blair fell first" needs (and workout/power walk mixes). I would include my lyrics of choice, but really it's the whole dang thing, so I'll just drop in part of the chorus: "you know when they say you got the real thing / and nothing else matters? / I love you like that / I love you like that." INSTANT SEROTONIN TO MY BRAIN.

*clumsily soft-shoes in* soooooo funny thing about these lovely unsolicited song recommendations (which are always welcome)…I made you a Thing:

nevertothethird’s Unofficial Dair Playlist

(aka Dan Humphrey and Blair Waldorf Are Total Saps: the Album)

So I took all of your recs from the ask box and ao3 comments, added a few of my own selected tracks and made 🥁🥁🥁 this playlist!

Youtube link here. Tracklist & annotations under the cut. I hope you enjoy! 💖💖💖

Young and in Love - Ingrid Michaelson

Starting strong with this absolute BOP

And you break my walls down (Coming down) / 'Cause you make me fall apart in a good way

Only You - as performed by Joshua Radin

Pulled directly from the ao3 comments on the milo-verse. I was immediately interested bc I love the original so much. Which may or may not be Captain Swan related

Wonder if you'll understand / It's just the touch of your hand / Behind a closed door

Like Ships Need the Sea - Emily Hearn

Another ao3 comment rec

Finally, you gave me the hope I'd awaited / Finally, you gave me your heart

Storm Comin’ - The Wailin’ Jennys

The first of my own inserts to pad out this playlist. I picked this one because a) The Wailin’ Jennys are an all-time fave and their albums were the soundtrack of my writing the “I know a place”-verse (plus that series title is a lyric of theirs!) and b) it’s hella sexy

When that love calls, open up your door

Souvenir - boygenius

Pulling thorns out of my palm / Work a midnight surgery / When you cut a hole into my skull / Do you hate what you see? / Like I do

Best Friend - Ingrid Michaelson

It’s the friends to lovers angst of it al

I keep my mouth shut tight / 'Cause I won't want to lose what's not even mine

Love You Like That - Dagny

Blair Fell First™

I know when I say it, it doesn't say enough / With you close, I'm the happiest I ever was / I tend to avoid getting emotional / I'm not shutting you out

So Long, Honey - Caamp

And there’s this feeling I get / When you’re in the room / I want you to stay

The One You Love - Passenger feat Kate Miller Heidke

Another insert because the VIBES. Something something pure & simple love etc etc

Oh, and if you find someone / That doesn't undermind you / If you find someone / That doesn't drag behind you

ivy - tswift

I wish to know / The fatal flaw that makes you long to be / Magnificently cursed / He's in the room / Your opal eyes are all I wish to see / He wants what's only yours

Strawberries - Caamp

Be my books, head on your shoulder with damn good looks

Jealous - Ingrid Michaelson

I used to be so sweet / Now I see a change coming over me

High and Low - Joshua Radin

This is technically my addition, but only bc there was already so much Radin. I’m not mad about it.

Don't you worry, now / Don't let life get you down / Just remember you're mine

Sweet Love of Mine - Joy Williams

Another insert from me. Joy Williams post-Civil Wars era is SO underrated and anyways she wrote this gorgeous love song/lullaby to her son who happens to be named Miles which is a coincidence I will milk for all it is worth.

I was broken, I was blind / Lost in a moment I thought I left behind / Then you woke up this dark soul of mine / Carrying a light I thought I'd never find

Me & My Dog - boygenius

I had a fever / Until I met you / Now you make me cool

Any of My Trouble - Sawyer Fredericks

I’ve thought this was a “Dan Humphrey is a giant sap” song for quite a while but it didn’t feel right on my other playlist(s)...THIS one though…

So set my heart down in the cold / Let it freeze so I will know / How it feels to be shattered / When you go

Missing You - Ingrid Michaelson

Never, you said this had dan/nate vibes so now everytime I listen to it that’s what I think…I may just have to write a fic about it and it’ll be YOUR FAULT <3

I'm in his bed again / Feeling like a stranger / When he's kissing me, I'm missing you

Hate You - Ingrid Michaelson

Okay normally 2 consecutive tracks from the same artist feels Wrong to me but here I think it works.

So much swirling up inside my head / Of what I didn't do or what I should have said

Skinny Love - Bon Iver

I tell my love to wreck it all / Cut out all the ropes and let me fall

Stay Down - boygenius

Wasn't a fighter until somebody told me / I had better learn to lean into the punch / So it don't hurt as bad when they leave / There you were, turning your cheek

Walking on a String - Matt Berninger & Phoebe Bridgers

I knew that I was dead before you touched my lonesome skin / You're never running out of ways to worm your way back in

Hey Kid - Ingrid Michaelson

This song was not one of your og Ingrid recs, but I thought it fit, so it had to go in here.

These arms and this heart / They are the only things that I have left to give

Little Giant - Roo Panes

Have the heart of a giant, but know you're a man / Start small, grow tall

By and by - Caamp

Just wish I'd spent more time / Listenin’ to her speak her mind

Call It Dreaming - Iron & Wine

Say it's here where our pieces fall in place / Any rain softly kisses us on the face…For all the love you've left behind / You can have mine

Today - Joshua Radin

it’s got the romance AND the found family

And you are the one I've been waiting for today

Feels Like Home - Caamp

Know that I lived my whole life long / And gave all the love that I could've given

The Muse - The Wood Brothers

Included for many obvious reasons, the title of course, and the dilf!dan of it all

Times like these so sweet and so true / Thinkin’s the last thing that you wanna do

This Is Why I Need You - Jesse Ruben

it’s about how living is hard but this is what makes it worth it.

You are the who, love is the what, and this is the why

My My Love - Joshua Radin

a simple sweet unadorned song. the perfect finale

It's something new because of you

[i-am-agony]

*cracks knuckles* My Time Has Come

The House On the Cerulean Sea by TJ Klune is one of my favorites; basically this middle age social worker named Linus Baker is given the task to check up on this magical orphanage run under a man named Arthur Parnassus. I really don’t wanna say much about it because I don’t wanna spoil it, but it has found family vibes everywhere and it made me *heart clench* multiple times so check it out!

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of The Universe by Benjamin Alire Sáenz is always a classic; it’s friends to lovers and is actually my favorite book. It follows a boy named Aristotle around as he tries to navigate growing up in his Texas hometown with a father who isn’t himself after coming back from Vietnam, siblings who grew up in a different era than him, etc., etc. he meets this boy named Dante, and they hit it off good, and I don’t wanna spoil it but it’s a feel good book as well! :) (also, it’s getting a long awaited sequel this year!)

The Gravity Of Us by Phil Stamper is about Cal Lewis, a boy (/ Internet personality?) who’s uprooted from New York and relocated to Texas because his father had gotten a job from NASA; the thing is that there’s a reality TV show that those astronauts are on that dramatizes the entire thing, and he has to find a balance between his online personality, what he’s forced to be on the reality show, and who he is to Leon, the son of another one of the astronauts (his love interest)

The Song Of Achilles by Madeline Miller is the Greek epic The Iliad told from the perspective of Patroclus, Achilles’ companion. It’s beautifully written and the book made me cry like a baby (but it’s SO worth it because of how good it is?????) It follows Achilles and Patroclus as they grow up together and into the Trojan War, and the sad scenes hit HARD in this book. It’s so freaking good. Agh.

Bloom by Kevin Panetta and Savanna Ganucheau is a graphic novel about a boy named Ari wanting to go live in the city to pursue a career with his band while his father and mother want him to stay and help with their traditional Greek family bakery. Because if these circumstances, he interviews people who can replace him there and meets a guy named Hector, who “loves baking as much as Ari wants to escape it.” They get closer, and (I’ll just quote the ending of the summary on the back) “love is ready to bloom... that is, if Ari doesn’t ruin everything.”

Our Dining Table by Mita Ori is a one-shot manga about food and eating with people you love. It follows Yutaka, a businessman who knows how to cook, and Minoru and Tane, two brothers who Don’t™. Minoru is basically raising Tane and it’s this entire Thing that I don’t want to explain (lest I accidentally give out spoilers) but it’s a sweet read!

Some other quick recommendations

I Wish You All The Best by Mason Deaver: non-binary lead falls in love with a dude when they move to live with their sister.

What If It’s Us by Becky Abertali (the woman who wrote Simon Vs The Homo Sapient Agenda, the book Love, Simon is based on) and Adam Silvera: Arthur and Ben are the two main leads, they have a meet-cute, it’s basically them navigating their relationship (for the most part) and it’s due for a sequel this year as well.

Also my To Be Read List:

The Extrodinaries by TJ Klune

Here The Whole Time by Victor Martins

Cemetery Boys by Aiden Thomas

Less by Andrew Sean Greer

This Is Kind Of An Epic Love Story by Kacen Callender

If you want more, there are a few more on my shelf that I haven’t read in a while and would rather re-read before I recommend them, but enjoy! :)

(Also, a.veryqueerbookclub on Instagram has a WAY wider selection of book recommendations than I do, so check him out! He’s actually where I found, like, half of these books 😅)

me: hey does anyone have any good gay book recommendations

literally everyone: oh have you read the classics

the classics: red white and royal blue, sidekick squad, wilder girls, anything by tillie walden

YES i’ve read the classics, give me other ideas