#out of all the bad kids hes actually the hardest one for me to draw

[xiewho]

i love love love the way you draw gorgug!! you give him so much personality :)

ouhhh omg thank u so much 😭😭 he’s my favorite bad kid so i tend to overthink a lot when i draw him haha but im really glad u like the way i draw him :’)

[carlsangel]

an ultimatum (g.i.t.w, ch.4)

carl grimes x fem!reader

warnings: none

masterlist here!

other chapters here!

“An ultimatum? Are you kidding? Seriously, what do you think this is?” You almost shout at him in a whisper, making sure not to draw the attention of the horde into your direction. You were angry, he stole your gun and was basically holding it hostage. Meanwhile his entire community was at risk, but also he put himself in danger to come get you. Even though your answer would be no. “This is life or death.” He explains, but you knew that already. “Yeah no shit. So go home.” You turn to leave, but he grabs you before you can go. “I’m not leaving unless you come with me.” He says quietly.

Something tells you he won’t let this go. “You don’t have to stay, just until the horde is dealt with.” He’s getting seemingly more convincing and you’re trying your hardest to oppose. It’s not like it’s the worst deal in the world, you’d get real shelter and maybe a real shower…and food and everything else. But there’s a large possibility you’d lose it all.

Right now you have nothing left to lose. You don’t want that risk again.

Your thoughts were interrupted by the groans of the dead, snapping you out of it and you turn to see there’s a large number of walkers coming your way. You had limited time and had to make your decision now. A life of luxury in the world you live in, or putting yourself at risk of another heartbreak. But, he had your rifle. All your thoughts conflicted each other and they began to get closer and closer. “We need to go. Right now.” He turns to leave but you almost freeze. He’s able to snap you out of it. “Cmon.” He says with urgency.

You both start to move to the back wall where there’s a large crate, allowing you to hop the fence easier as long as you’re boosted. He does his best to help boost you and you steady yourself against one of the support beams to pull him up after. So you’d escape the dead again, but this time you were in Alexandria. You saw people walking around, it felt somewhat unreal that you were actually there.

It’s like you’d been walking on a movie set almost. It was morning so people were walking around like everything was completely normal. You watched Rick give his speech the other day, he’d told them to act as normal as possible with just some precautions. You felt so out of place, although you were excited to see the insides of the mansions these people had been living in. Carl mentioned how unreal it felt at first. He leads you over to his house and you step inside, the unfamiliar aroma you’d only smell when around Carl flooded your nose. It almost brought you comfort, the thought scared you a little.

He led you through the house and you look around and how open the space was. “I’ll go get your rifle, it’s in the armory. Just stay here and um…you can go to up my room if you want. You’ll be able to tell it’s mine.” He nods at you and makes his way out the back door which is near the stairs. You take note of that and head up the stairs. You go down the hall and look through the rooms, one with a larger bed and another with a crib. At the way end was his room with posters on the walls that weren’t picked out by him but a small pile of comics on the bed. You sit in there and you think for a while.

Is this what you wanted?

─── ⋆⋅ ꒰ა 𐚁 ໒꒱ ⋅⋆ ───

You wait on his bed, reading whatever comic it was that was there when he later comes back. He looks around to spot you and he just stares at you for a moment, not quite saying anything. He just likes having you inside the walls, it’s almost like it’s a relief he doesn’t have to worry about you anymore. You’re right in front of him, and nothing bad could happen to you.

Meanwhile in your head all you can think about is your rifle in his hands. You basically shot up to grab it from him. You look at it, inspect it rather and pull back the slide which is no longer jammed. “When did you fix it?” You ask putting the strap over your head to lay the rifle on your back. “The day you gave it to me.” He sort of shifts his weight awkwardly and you stare at him. He knows he’s in for it.

“Are you fucking kidding?” You almost laugh, you’re amused by it shockingly which gives him the impression he’s able to as well. “I needed an excuse to find you again.” He tells you. “I know you don’t like the attachment thing. But that’s not…it’s not living. Yeah you’re alive…but you’re not living.” He looks at you so intently. You almost feel bad for everything. Plus everything you’re going to do in the future.

You nod silently. He smiles as he feels like he’d finally gotten through to you. He then realizes he’d been a terrible host. “Oh, I should have clothes for you. I know you didn’t want to stay here long but I should take care of you while you’re here, right?” He laughs softly and drags you back down the hall to the bathroom. “Oh it’s fine, you really don’t have to-” He cuts you off. “I’ll be back.” So, he leaves downstairs to the laundry room. He’s quite ecstatic, he’d finally convinced you to stay and give him a chance.

He closes the lid of the drying machine and walks back up. Once he returns to the bathroom, you aren’t there. Instead you’re back outside. You find bolts stuck in a fragment of the wall and you climb up the way you entered. You plop down onto the floors to find that the walkers from earlier had cleared. So you make your way to the east wall.

Carl was back at home relatively heart broken. He was happy to take care of you, he wanted to treat you well after you went through years of being put through the worst pain one could imagine.

And you ditched him.

You didn’t want to. If anything you would’ve loved to stay, but it began to hit you and it almost freaked you out. You believed if you loved him too; if you cared about him, he’d die. It’d happened to everyone else. He just didn’t understand that. There was no way for you to explain it without sounding irrational. He wanted to understand you. That’s all he wanted from the beginning.

So he searches the house for you. Then starts his way to walk through Alexandria to see if you’d gone somewhere else.

It wasn’t until you were nearing the edge of Alexandria again when you heard a loud creak, then a crash. You’re more east of Alexandria’s gates, but you climb a tree to see what you expected to happen. What always happens.

The old church near the gates had fallen over the wall, destroying it and allowing hundreds of walkers to flood in. You settled on a branch steadily and pulled your rifle up to your eye, looking through the scope for the person you’d unfortunately cared for the most.

You spot him in a heartbeat.

a/n: hey guys do u like my new user >_<

tag list: @zomb-1-egutzz @lunarnightt @ilikestrawberriesandwomen @hiro--aoki @h00d-tr4sh @callsignwidow @lilyglasergrimes @smollbean42905 @deadgirlwalkingx @txrasbae @lalaloopsie12309 @crusadecherryblossom @violetashfall @zombiigrll @amanita-raine @prettylittlevampire12 @shadowybasementmiracle @junkyard-juno27 @th3-3d3n-g4rd3n @sophiaatwdluver

[kelin-is-writing]

imagine babysitting with boyfriend!dabi

you were supposed to spend the day together but shit got in the way and now you were stuck at your relatives’ place and had to look after their kids for the afternoon. dabi was ready to disappear the second you mentioned it but you practically dragged him there by his collar and now he’s sitting on the couch pouting.

he would never admit it but he was worried that the kids might get scared by his appearance. well turns out they absolutely adore him.

it’s definitely annoying him at first that they won’t leave him alone for even a second and keep demanding that he plays with them. you glare at him after a while and he reluctantly gives in.

it starts with them playing with little race car models and they soon switch to drawing messily in one of their coloring books. dabi turns out to be quite the talented artist which you haven’t known until then.

however he draws the line when the kids want to play dress up. he vehemently refuses… for five minutes at least. when you return from the kitchen with snacks for everyone you have to try your absolute hardest not to burst out laughing when you see the sparkly tiara on his head. (you manage to take a picture without him noticing)

he doesn’t admit it but he’s actually having fun and watching you interact with the kids is putting thoughts into his head that he’s never had before. maybe starting a family of your own isn’t as bad of an idea as he used to think.

now all he can think about for the rest of the day is you underneath him with your legs pressed to your chest and the sound of your heavenly moans when he draws orgasm after orgasm from you until he finally cums inside of you. he rly hopes you won’t mind not using a condom this time...

- 🥛

YOU DID NOT JUST DO THIS TO ME—

the way i actually can picture him letting the kids grab onto his arms and then lift them up to spin the two of them around, once he’s done dabi would be dizzy as hell but then there are the kids who starts screaming “again!” “again!” which has him huff tiredly but still comply to what they want because they were having fun and that surprisingly made our arsonist hold back a smile, all this under your amused but still tender grin.

i can also see dabi play with them the ‘see you, can’t see you’ game, after you teach him, and he adores the laughs and giggles those little dwarfs let out when he exclaims “ah! here you are!”, in the most (semi) monotone voice someone could’ve ever hear, but the kids still loved it so much and that just leave him with a tingling sensation inside his chest from how moved he was, but still managed to keep it low or you wouldn’t let him live it down just like with the tiara moment.

once the kids were gone, you two finally alone, dabi is sitting on the couch with dazed eyes looking in front of him and lips slightly parted; when you sit next to him you’re about to ask him what was that face for, after snorting amused, when in a millisecond the villain has you laying beneath him as he hovers over your figure. you look surprised at him, being meet by a stare of pure desire and love that made your heart skip a beat from the intensity “w-what?”, you blurt out confused while glancing back at your boyfriend unsure on what’s gotten into him, then your eyes fell down and widened at the sight of the bulge inside his pants that was now pressing against your lower abdomen “you–?! wha–?!”

“i...”, dabi interrupted you “want to have kids with you princess.”, he confessed in a low husky gentle tone looking away from you with the back of his hand raising in front of his face and you blinked fervently, no because... was this cruel villain blushing right now?!

god he is so damn gorgeous like that, you can’t wrap your head around the fact that you have the most precious boyfriend out there, he’s truly such a gem honestly.

smiling tenderly at his confession you cup his cheeks, making him flinch slightly because of the sudden move, and pull him towards you meeting him halfway to kiss the raven-haired boy on his lips deeply, with an astonishing amount of love that left dabi speechless but yearning for more which is why a second later he was already ravishing yours back with as much passion as you.

when the two of you parted, panting, your hazy eyes locked and you swallowed down before slowly sliding your legs up his sides then closing them around dabi’s waist in a tight grip that pressed his boner against your clothed heat, a groan and moan leaving both your mouths at the friction. licking your lips under his burning gaze you start talking “what are you waiting for then?”, dabi looks with eyes that you can see ask for permission and “fill me up dabi.”, with that accompanied by a roll of your hips against his, he completely lost it.

after this, skins slapping together, pants, groans and moans are the only things that can be heard inside your living room as your man is cumming for the sixth time inside of you, balls deep into your pussy with the tip of his dick pressing hard against the swollen entrance of your womb as he’s spilling his load in complete ecstacy once again while you squirt all over his shaft and onto his pelvis with a pitiful cry, too overstimulated to even form a single syllable.

dabi has his eyes still rolled back into his skill in pure bliss when he hear you slurr about how much seed there’s inside your cunt, his cerulean irises going back to their place immediately before he raises from his hovering position on you with flushed cheeks as he smirks, totally high on you “of course there’s lots...”, and grabbing onto your waist he starts to rut his hips slowly, fucking all his seed into you with eyes clouded by desire “i gotta make sure my princess is filled up to the brim with our babies, right?”, he ends his sentence with a sharp thrust that made you let out a sob while holding onto his forearms for dear life, moaning continuously as dabi kept pounding into you “you can take more of it, i know it baby, i believe in my pretty girl nhgh–”, dabi kept blurting while throwing his head back with a throaty dragged groan at feeling your walls clench around him, hips picking up pace in no time.

letting out a breathy moan he looks down at you with sweat rolling down his temples long his pretty panting face, then he grabs your forearm to rub kind circles on it “i’m gonna make sure it’ll stick this time, so– ugh— bear with me for a little more ‘kay baby?”, you nod absentmindedly, too fucked out to register well what he’s saying to you, making him let out an amused snort at seeing your expression completely melted from the continuous pleasure and overstimulation “good girl, lemme reward you thenhgh—”, and with that another load of his seed was flowing inside of you and deep into your womb.

the pure bliss dabi feels everytime he cums deep in you, the imagery of his white ropes sticking inside your uterus, makes him rock hard all over again. mind completely lost into the ferverish sensation he’s been feeling for hours now thanks to his precious girl.

[television-overload]

of our own making

(an X-Files fanfic)

Chapter 10/34 - new years rockin' eve

[Read on AO3]

After the pleasant, downright normal Christmas they'd had, Mulder wasn't surprised that their New Years Eve was spent being chased by zombies like something out of one of his bad horror flicks.

He did, however, get to spend it with Scully, which was all he really could have asked of the day.

Their first few days back at work had been pretty run-of-the-mill. The traffic in the hallways was a little lighter, with some agents taking additional days off until after the new year. They used their slow days to complete the adoption paperwork and send it in, which allowed them to put it out of their minds so they could finally focus on work.

Aside from Skinner briefly asking in passing if they'd actually done it (trying his hardest to appear only mildly interested), it was easy to forget the monumental step they'd taken over the holidays. Their rings remained safely tucked under their clothes while on the job, but when he was at home, Mulder liked to wear it in its intended place, finding it helped him focus his thoughts when he twisted it idly on his finger.

A mangled arm was a small price to pay for ringing in the new year with his partner by his side, all things considered. A happy ending for all, most especially for Frank Black and his daughter.

Scully watches as the older man wraps the girl in his arms, burying his face in her hair. It's a sweet sight, but something about it makes her grow pensive, her expression darkening.

“What kind of world would we be bringing a child into, Mulder?” she asks quietly, unable to tear her eyes away from the little family as they leave the room hand in hand.

Her words surprise him in their negativity, drawing a halfhearted chuckle from his throat. “Correct me if I’m wrong, Scully, but adoption usually means we’re getting a kid that’s already in the world, doesn’t it?

Her shoulders deflate a little and she casts an unamused glance in his direction, looking far more vulnerable than she typically allows herself to be.

“You know what I mean.”

He does. Of course he does.

“Well, it’s the same world people have been bringing children into for millennia,” he reasons. “And now we’re about to be in a whole new one.”

He nods back at the TV screen, tuned in to Dick Clark's coverage of Times Square. All those people, completely oblivious to the dangers lurking in this world that defy logic and reason. Zombies are the last thing on any of their minds as they count down to the new year. 

“But I believe mankind, in its essence, stays the same,” he finishes.

He'd faced this question months and months ago when Scully had asked him about IVF. Was this a life he could bring a child into? Was he a person worthy of being a father, even if only by genetics? The conclusions he'd come to had not been arrived at lightly.

“We can do this, Scully,” he says, softer. Sure. “We might have to make some changes, but… when it comes down to it, you and I are no different than anyone else wanting to raise a child.”

She gives him a disbelieving look, her eyebrow quirking into the air. He knows what she’s thinking; The reanimated corpses they'd just encountered would like a word.

“No, think about it,” he continues. “What's the one thing all parents—well, the good ones—have in common?” His question is semi-rhetorical, and she doesn't seem inclined to respond, so he answers for her. “They want what's best for their children, and they do all that they can to provide it to them because they love them. Now, I don't know about you, but I'm pretty willing to do just that. And I think you are too, if these are the things you're worried about.”

Scully sighs, looking up at him from beneath her eyelashes. “Mulder…”

“I promise to protect you and any children we may acquire from zombies and all other supernatural forces of evil, okay? Is that what you want to hear?” he adds, his joke finally drawing a smile out of her.

“Don't call it 'acquiring,’ Mulder,” she says with a breathy laugh. “That's weird.”

With the mood successfully lightened, he turns his attention back to the TV, where Dick Clark is beginning to count down.

“The world’s a-changing, Scully,” he says as he moves closer, tilting his head up to watch the broadcast. She mirrors him, standing close by his side.

“Thirty seconds, now. Thirty,” Dick Clark announces as the camera hones in on the Times Square ball, lit up in bright colors as it begins its descent. “Hug your friends and loved ones tight. What the heck, whoever that person is next to you. No time like the present!”

Now there's an idea…

“Here we go!” the announcers chant.

Ten!

Mulder looks down to his left. Well, she is standing next to him, after all. Why not?

Nine.

She's smiling. She has a beautiful smile, too. He's always thought so.

Eight… Seven… Six…

New Year's Eve is plausible deniability, right? If this doesn't work? Maybe there's a written rule somewhere he can check…

Five, four.

Well, it’s not like they haven’t done it before…

Three. Two.

Is this a stupid idea?

One.

Without further ado, Dick Clark's voice cheers, “Happy New Year 2000!” and Mulder makes his decision, leaning toward her with purpose. No turning back now.

She catches him at the last second, and by then it's too late to play it off. The only option is to follow through.

And follow through he does.

His eyes flutter closed as his lips make contact with hers, their touch light and tentative as it had been in the courtroom just a week before, only this time, he waits a moment longer to pull back. Her hand reaches up to cup his cheek, and it immediately sends his heart pounding into his throat, and he finds he can't speak. Auld Lang Syne is playing, but the sound fades from his ears.

The only thing his senses can hear, feel, taste, smell, is her.

When he opens his eyes again, she is staring at him, an unreadable expression on her face. Her hand hasn't moved, and neither does he.

“I—”

“Mulder, I—

Whatever words he was trying to conjure to explain himself die on his lips in an instant, and he can do nothing but gape at her. The air feels charged, and all at once he wishes he'd never done it and that he'd done it years ago.

His eyes flick down to her lips and then back to her eyes, desperate to know what words will come out of them next.

“I– got a call from the adoption agency,” she finishes, and his thoughts come crashing back to the present, his heartbeat pounding at an alarming rate. However he'd thought she might finish that sentence, that wasn't it. 

She's looking at him though, worry flickering in her eyes.

“Th– the adoption agency?” he asks, his good hand slackening its hold on her lower back.

She nods.

“What did they say?”

Suddenly he feels nauseous, like maybe the mixture of zombies, drugs, and potentially life changing news was a little too much for his stomach all in one night.

“They… said that our application looks good, and they want to schedule a preliminary interview.”

At this, even his fingers on his injured arm have to reach out to her, brushing against the fabric of her shirt at her waist and stretching his sling to its limit.

“What?”

She nods again in confirmation, looking equal parts scared and excited.

“Scully that's– that's great news! It's good news, right?”

He doesn't know what he'll do if she gets cold feet now. A crushing blow like that isn't exactly how he'd like to start out this century, much less the millennium. 

Her hand drops to his shoulder and she smiles, holding tight to him.

“It's good,” she confirms, though a trace of doubt still remains in her voice.

He pulls her into a hug, resigning his poor limp arm to be stuck uncomfortably between them, but otherwise holding her tight.

“Mulder, we're actually going through with this?” she asks into his shoulder.

He nods emphatically, a wide grin stretching his face. “Heck yeah, Scully!”

“They could still tell us no.”

His little pessimist. Good thing he's got enough belief for the both of them.

“Not until they've seen us and we've pled our case,” he says, pulling back to look at her. “Call ‘em back and make an appointment!”

Tears begin to pool in her eyes and she nods shakily again. “Okay,” she says, and releases his shoulder to wipe the wetness beneath her eyes. “Okay, I’ll– um… I’ll call them tomorrow.”

He wants to kiss her again. He wants to so bad, but he doesn't. Emotions are understandably high, and this entire situation is so confusing and complicated already, that he's not sure anymore where they stand.

One day, he thinks. One day he'll find the courage.

“Hey, Scully,” he says instead, placing his hand on the back of her neck to capture her attention. 

She looks up at him tearfully. He shrugs and smiles goofily, relief and hope shining in his eyes.

“The world didn't end.”

~~~

Should I? Oh, why not. One more chapter. It's the weekend.

Chapter 11/34 - confessions

The interview with the adoption agency is scheduled for Friday of that week, which Skinner happily approves time off for. That leaves less than six days to prepare, and Scully busies herself with making sure they have everything they could possibly need to maximize their chances.

The night before the big day, Mulder is ordered to come over for a last minute study session (not that he would have been unwilling if she’d asked nicely, but with the stress she’s under, it comes out as more of a command). It feels like Arcadia again, going under cover, making sure they both have their stories straight.

Only this time, their cover is more or less their real life, give or take a few necessary oversimplifications.

“So, we’ve covered employment, medical history, familial relationships…” Scully lists, kneeling beside an array of papers spread out on her coffee table. “Am I leaving anything out?”

She bites the tip of her pen, glancing over her notes with her brows furrowed in thought. Reviewing this stuff could mean the difference between a happily ever after and rejection, that’s the scariest thing. She just wants to be thorough, and Mulder—bless him—has humored her thus far, answering questions, finding solutions to explain their… less than ordinary pasts. 

It takes her a moment to notice when he doesn’t immediately answer, the silence dragging on just a little too long. Her first assumption is that he’s fallen asleep—which she wouldn’t blame him for if he did—but that assumption is quashed the moment she looks up at him on the couch, the serious expression on his face instantly shifting the mood.

“Mulder?” she asks, a worried crease appearing on her forehead.

"You know, we never talked about it," he says quietly, carefully, glancing across the coffee table at her. “Not really.”

"About what?" She’s starting to get anxious.

"The IVF."

And there they are, the three letters that still fill her stomach with dread and immense sadness anytime she hears them.

I. V. F. 

"Mulder..." she starts, but he only leans forward, reaching out across the coffee table for her hand.

"I want to. I really do, Scully. I need to talk about it. It could come up tomorrow."

"I don't really like... thinking about it,” she says softly, wanting desperately to look away from the pleading expression that she knows she can’t say no to.

"I know. But don't you think we should?” he argues. “I mean, we can't brush it away like it never happened, Scully, I won't do that. It was important to me."

She doesn’t want to hear this. Her heart twists painfully, and she slams her eyes shut to lock down the tears beginning to form, shaking her head. Sure, she knows he’d wanted it back then, had hoped it would succeed. But it’s too late. It’s in the past, and she’d like to leave it there, if at all possible. To hear him say, in as many words, exactly how much he’d invested emotionally in those tiny embryos…

She doesn’t think her heart can take it.

"Since when do you like talking about things like this?" she asks, trying once to pull her hand away. “Things that… cause you pain?”

He clings on tighter, rubbing soothing circles on the back of her hand with both of his. "I can tell you the exact moment, Scully, and it’s when you knocked on my door in a dingy motel room and asked me what those bumps on your back were."

His earnest words stun her into silence.

Rain on the windows. A story of tragedy and determination. Honest words coming from the lips of a man she’d met only days before.

That trust had been there from the start.

He stands from his place on the couch and circles the coffee table, carefully pushing aside the papers in front of her to make a space for himself to sit. "The past hurts, but somehow—” he continues, “somehow you make it easier to face. To me, at least."

She sighs, turning her head so that she can muster enough strength to answer his heartfelt plea. Articulating something like this is not her strong suit, but for him, she’ll try.

"I– I've never wanted anything more in my life,” she breathes, the admission one she has never spoken aloud. 

It’s the truth, though, and he knows better than anyone how difficult that is for her. Scully is not one for dreaming big, expecting rich blessings from the earth or her life. She, like him, has grown used to being disappointed, to having the things she wants taken away from her. He could make an itemized list, if he wanted to, of all the ways they’d been let down. Even the expectation of a clean, comfortable motel room has been slowly drained from her, and yet she had still allowed herself to hope in this.

“You know, for a minute, I really did think it had worked, that I was—" She pauses, leaving the word pregnant to hang in the air. Instead, she takes a shaky breath and continues. "Do you remember that day I got sick in the car on the way to a crime scene?"

She doesn’t have to specify which one, because it had only ever happened once, that was what was so odd about it.

"I thought that was it,” she says, “I thought that maybe—"

"I thought the same thing," Mulder cuts in.

Of course he had. She’d guessed as much that day, too, between bouts of heaving into a plastic bag in the front seat of their rental car. 

The way he treated her extra carefully, taking turns slower, making a point to turn on the blinker with every lane change on the highway, stopping at a gas station for some ginger ale… She had allowed it all, too—the special treatment—because what if she was? She couldn’t risk it until she knew for sure. If that was her only chance…

Her lower lip trembles and she ducks her head. "I tried to keep my expectations low, but..."

His finger lands on her chin, tipping her gaze back up to face his.

"It would have been pretty cool, huh?” he says, offering her a small smile for comfort. “Can you imagine telling Skinner out of nowhere that we combined our DNA in a petri dish? I think the vein in his head might have actually burst.” He laughs, and is graced with the smallest of smirks for his efforts.

"I'd have these dreams,” she continues. “What our baby might look like, what personality they'd have. Whether they'd… be more like me or like you."

His lips. Her hair. His passion. Her scientific mind.

"Well, hopefully you,” Mulder speaks, smiling at the thought. “I think you've got your hands full already with one of me. There are many who would say you were crazy even to ask me in the first place."

She looks up at him with her head tilted, her eyes softening.

"I knew what I was doing."

She can tell by the way he brushes off the compliment that he doesn’t believe her, so she doubles down.

"I'm serious, Mulder. You're brilliant, imaginative, bold, caring... I wouldn't have chosen you if I didn't want my child to share those same qualities."

She loves Mulder. She loves every infuriating little thing about him. She'd have been lucky to have a son or daughter with his kind, gentle personality, his determination to keep fighting when everything in his life is telling him he can't win. Teena Mulder didn't know what she had, with Fox Mulder as a son. He should have been loved, cared for, nurtured, supported all his life. Instead, Scully has the sense that the first and only person he has trusted to give him all that is her, and that is not a responsibility she takes lightly.

"I pictured this little boy,” he says, his lips curled in a sad smile as he speaks. “Dark sandy blond hair with just a hint of your red. Blue eyes just like yours. Jeans absolutely filthy with dirt and grass stains on the knees."

She closes her eyes, allowing the picture to form in her mind. She smiles, but it's pained. Such a beautiful thought, never to be.

"How can I miss someone so much that I don't even know?” she asks, the hurt audible in her voice. “Someone that never existed?"

Mulder presses his lips tightly together in thought, his eyes trailing over the room. 

"They say that grief is the love we have that has nowhere to go, because that person has left us,” he starts, his voice reverent and pensive. “They never talk about how to love a person we never had in the first place, or a dream that’s just out of reach. But still, I think that love feels just as real as any other kind.”

He has a way with words, her Mulder. It has been the bane of their assistant director’s existence on numerous occasions, when such existential ponderings found their way into his reports.

But now… Well, it's just another thing she loves about him. She wonders if he's allowed himself to grieve for Samantha, or if his belief that she's still out there somewhere makes him fall into that second category.

"I just wish I hadn't put us both through that,” she says. “That I dragged you into it..."

"I'm glad you did,” he’s quick to assure. “Scully, that day you asked me was one of the happiest days of my life. The future is such a messy, terrifying thing, sometimes. You showed me that it doesn't have to be that way. That there can be hope. I'd forgotten what that felt like."

She's silent, unsure of what to say in response to that. He has all the right words, and suddenly, she has none of them.

"I don't regret it for one moment, Scully. We gave it a try."

She purses her lips, forcing back tears that are threatening to spill. "I don't think I could have done it without you," she says, shaking her head. 

"Well, obviously,” he says, the corner of his mouth quirked up in a cheeky smile.

She gives him a look. "Mulder…"

"I know, I know,” he says, turning serious again. “I'm honored that you let me be a part of it." 

That she would have let him be a part of so much more. A family. Everything, if he had wanted it.

"Well, listen,” he continues, “we ace this interview tomorrow, and we're back on track. Plenty of kids out there that need a home, right? Someone's bound to pick us."

His optimism emboldens her. "I hope so."

"We got this, Scully. They're gonna take one look at you and know for certain that you're meant to be a mother."

She distracts herself from his sweet-sounding words by focusing her attention on his loosened necktie, smoothing it down with one hand. "I'm picking out your tie,” she declares. “No alien decals or wild shapes and colors."

"I think it shows personality," he says in mock defense.

She can’t help the fond smile she flashes at him, glancing up into his eyes. "Not tomorrow, it doesn't."

-.-.-

The agency they ended up going with is out in Annapolis, so on the day of their interview, they drive out together, mostly in silence. Scully fidgets with the folder full of information and other documents they might need, picking at the corner of it while she goes over the important points in her head.

Mulder holds the door open for her when they arrive at the building, and she double checks that her ring is in place on her finger before approaching the front desk to check in. They’re instructed to take a seat in the small waiting area, and Mulder follows and sits down beside her. On the coffee table in front of them are a stack of brochures, the same one she found on Mulder’s desk what feels like forever ago. That had been the catalyst for this entire affair, and now look where they are.

She never could have imagined it.

A few minutes later, a plump older woman appears from behind a door, smiling at them warmly. 

“Alright, Mr. and Mrs. Mulder?” she says, checking her clipboard.

Scully stands, followed by Mulder. “I, uh– I go by my maiden name. Scully,” she corrects.

“My apologies, Ms. Scully,” the woman says, leading them into her office and taking a seat behind a wooden desk. 

They sit down in a pair of chairs opposite her, taking in their surroundings. There are dozens of thank you cards lined up on the windowsill behind the woman’s desk, presumably from families who have benefitted from the services offered here. It fills her with a cautious hope, though does nothing to quell the restless feeling that has plagued her since she woke up this morning. Mulder has kept his cool, so far, and she wonders how he does it.

“My name's Brenda Koske,” the woman continues, introducing herself. “I’ll be your case manager throughout this process. Should we just get right into it, then?”

They nod, unable to do any more than that at the moment.

“Okay, then,” Brenda says with a beaming smile, opening up a file folder on her desk. “So, tell me about yourselves, what made you look into adoption?”

"Well," Scully says, looking at Mulder for approval. "I– We found out a few years ago that I am unable to have children. We tried in vitro fertilization last year, but... it wasn't successful."

The woman at the desk nods and jots some information down in a notebook. Scully suspects their story, so far, is a familiar one. 

"And how long have you been together?"

Scully's mouth drops open, but she isn't sure what she'll say. Before she has a chance to stammer something out, Mulder answers, "A little over seven years, now." He’s confident. Sure of his answer, despite it being a lie, or at least an egregious stretching of the truth. 

The case manager writes down some more.

"And I see here that Ms. Scully has petitioned for the adoption of a child before. Emily Sim?" she states, checking her notes.

Scully tenses, and Mulder puts a calming hand on her knee.

"It's a long story," he says, answering for her, "but Emily unfortunately passed away from her chronic illness before the adoption proceedings could get very far."

Brenda nods. "I understand that this is a difficult subject, Mr. Mulder, I'm just trying to get all the information I need. From what I see here, this child was the biological child of Ms. Scully. I'm afraid I need more of an explanation."

She knows Ms. Koske doesn’t mean any harm by asking these questions—after all, they’d prepared for them last night. But it’s still hard to hear them come up.

Thankfully, Mulder was paying attention and is more than willing to take the lead.

"My wife was treated for her infertility by a doctor we couldn't trust,” he explains. She still finds it odd to hear him refer to her in that way, but it makes sense that he does it now. He can’t very well call her ‘Scully’ in front of the woman they’re trying to convince to give them a child. 

Now comes the next part of their explanation. 

“Her ova were stolen and used without her knowledge or consent, and Emily was a result of that. It was complete happenstance that we even discovered what happened."

"I'm very sorry you went through that, Ms. Scully," the woman says, looking genuinely sorry for her. "Quite a world we live in."

You have no idea , Scully thinks, and nods in recognition of Ms. Koske’s expression of sorrow.

"And you're married?" she asks next, her pen hovering over a checkbox on the form in their file.

"Yes, just recently,” Scully answers. The box gets checked.

"Congratulations! Why the long wait, if I may ask?" Brenda says.

“I ask myself that every time I look at her,” Mulder says while leveling her with his adoring gaze. He’s dialing up the married man act, which he is definitely within his rights to do, but it still catches her off guard. She hopes he doesn’t overdo it, risking tipping off their case manager.

"It, um– It never really seemed like something necessary for us to do," Scully answers, ignoring his sickly sweet comment and hiding her blush.

Mulder turns back to Brenda and adds, "But we figured, if adoption works out..."

"We'd like to make it as simple and straightforward as possible," Scully finishes.

"It certainly will help," the agent says, nodding as she jots down another note. "Where would the child be living?"

"I– We have an apartment in Georgetown.” Scully’s heart flutters anxiously at the close call, thankful she was able to correct herself before misspeaking.

"An apartment," the woman says as she adds that to her notes. It's impossible to tell if she means it in a good or bad way, and Scully can’t make out her handwriting enough to tell.

"I have money set aside from my father's estate," Mulder cuts in, causing Scully to look at him in confusion. "We'd eventually like to buy a house, if this works out." This wasn’t something they’d talked about in any of their previous discussions, nor has he ever mentioned it before, so she doesn’t know where it’s coming from. When she catches his eye, he gives her a subtle shrug.

They’ll have to talk about this later.

"I'll put down the Georgetown address for now," Brenda says, smiling encouragingly at them. "Just a couple more questions for now, you guys are doing great." Scully exhales in relief, her shoulders relaxing just a little. "I have to ask about your work. Your medical history tells me that your jobs put you in some pretty dangerous situations. What are your plans should a child be placed into your care?"

Mulder nods and squeezes Scully's hand, encouraging her. They'd planned for this, too.

"I plan to take a step back,” she answers, “I've spoken with our boss, and he's assured me that I could return to a teaching position at Quantico while serving part time in my current department as a consultant."

"Mr. Mulder?" Brenda says, turning to him next.

"I will be doing the same."

Scully looks at him incredulously, which the woman thankfully misses. 

"It's time for us to settle down,” he continues, avoiding her questioning stare. “I think we've accomplished most of what we set out to do with our work, and we can't keep doing it forever, especially if we want to start a family. I've talked to our director about seeking out replacements for the both of us. Someone else will take over the department, while we lend our expertise as needed to the new agents."

This is the first she’s hearing about this too, but she wisely keeps her mouth shut, letting him say whatever he needs to say. Starting an argument about this now would not tip things in their favor. 

But he can’t be serious about giving up the X-Files, can he? It hadn’t even crossed her mind to ask. Arguably the main reason he started the unit was to look into the disappearance of his sister, and that case remains unsolved. Would he just walk away? Would he resent her for it eventually, if he did? 

"I'm glad to hear you're making strides in that direction,” Brenda comments, a pleased smile gracing her lips. “I was afraid we wouldn't be able to consider your application on account of your chosen field of work, but it sounds like you’re serious about starting a family.”

She writes some more and it falls silent. Mulder wraps his other hand around Scully's, bringing comfort and reassurance to them both.

"Last thing—and I'm sorry to keep bringing up difficult topics—” Brenda starts again. “Ms. Scully, you were diagnosed with cancer three years ago. Is there any chance it could return? You understand why I have to ask, don't you?"

"Yes– I understand,” Scully nods, swallowing nervously. “Um, no, I've been told there's little reason to think it will ever come back. I've been in remission over two years now."

Brenda nods and makes a final note, her pen leaving the paper with a flourish. "That's great, I'm so happy to hear that." She closes her notebook and file and smiles. "Well, you two, it sure sounds like you're overdue for a happy ending. Hopefully we can do something about that." 

She shakes each of their hands in turn, standing up from the desk to escort them out. 

"It was a pleasure to meet you, we'll be in touch as soon as your application is approved, and then we'll start looking for potential matches."

"Thank you very much, Ms. Koske," Mulder says, the perfect picture of a responsible adult worthy of becoming a parent.

Scully mumbles her own "Thank you," too overwhelmed to manage more words than that.

Mulder places a hand on her back and leads her out of the office and into the hall, standing closer to her than he usually does when they walk this way. His neck bends so he can see her face, and he whispers, "You hear that, Scully? She said when our application gets approved!"

Scully shakes her head, not wanting to get ahead of herself quite yet. 

"She said 'as soon as', not when,” she corrects.

"Same thing,” he argues. “Come on, that went well, don't you think?"

"I hope so," she says.

His stride is confident and energetic. "It did, trust me. We had all the right answers."

"I was so nervous. I knew she would ask about my cancer," she states, shaking her head in disappointment.

"She was just being thorough,” Mulder assures her. “Cheer up, Scully, the part we had to worry about is over! I'm taking you to lunch."

"Mulder, we really should just get back to work—” Scully tries. She’s supposed to be the responsible one, after all. Reining him in. Wasn’t that why she complemented him so well?

"We're celebrating. One step closer to being parents, right Scully?"

It’s time she admits it to herself: she failed at reining him in years ago.

Now, she just goes with the flow. The best surprises are around the corner when she does so. 

She hopes that this time is no different.

~~~

Lovely tag list ♡: [if you would like to be added or removed, let me know!]

@today-in-fic @ao3feed-msr @agent-troi @angegova @baronessblixen @calimanc @captainsolocide @clo-thespin @cutemothman @danasculls @deathsbestgirl @edierone @enigmaticxbee @figureofdismay @frogsmulder @gillian-anderson-in-the-tardis @hippocampouts @invidiosa @monaiargancoconutsoy @numinousmysteries @primrose19 @randomfoggytiger @skelavender @skylarksong @stephy-gold @teenie-xf @the-redhead-in-a-dress @vincentsleftear

[bucketspammer4life]

☆ how the boxers react to being flirted with ☆

Sorry for dissapearing (again), i was busy damaging my hearing, enjoy my woobification teehee

Glass Joe

- Really depends on how you flirt with him, if its poetic or really straightforward hes gonna turn into a tomato

- hes not giggling, its just your imagination nuh uh

- he def rolls in bed like a rotisserie chicken while thinking about ur pick up line

- hes gonna try to flirt back until its just a competition of who blushes the hardest

Von Kaiser

- actual jaw drop from him, the more poetic the better

- in shock, his brain literally turns off

- has to check his pulse because GODDAMN his heart is beating harder than usual (You may have a heart palpitation, kaiser)

- you live rent free in his head now congratulations

Disco Kid

- right back at you, if youre a bit too straightforward he may need to tell you to slow down

- youre getting a response IMMEDIATLY. And i mean it, fresh out of the oven, thrown at you with some sprinkles on top

- giggling while he calls you cute names like sweetie, honey, baby etc etc

King Hippo

- nice try, HES AROACE!! (GET HEADCANONED IDIOT!!)

- he laughs it off while making it clear hes not into you or anyone

- flattered though, appreciates the fact that you were willing to go out of your way to approach him

- if he was not aroace or only ace, he'd just smile, the more poetic you go with him the better you have chance of making him go red

Piston Hondo

- hes suddenly cosplaying a cherry

- loves poetic rizz, will definitely go back at you until both of your flirting attempts sound like two lovers mailing each other in opposite sides of the world while one is at war

- if youre straightforward he just gets flabbergasted, like what do you mean there isnt a build up for it with 20 poems inbetween??

- cant focus rest of the day, hes internally screaming off a mountain

- the sight of you just makes his ability to focus evaporate

- draws and/or writes about you rest of the day

Great Tiger

- if you use something clever you can get a small blush out of him

- if you're the type to go for poetic lines youre gonna need to call 911 because his soul literally vanishes from existence, tiger dont go into the light stay with us PLEASE

- has to have his clones give him flirting advice because his flirting skills are not there (like 80% of my hearing)

- his flirting attempts are just "damn, are you a construction worker?, because you are a building." no matter how much he tries

Bear Hugger

- he makes his reactions clear, literally emotes while you flirt with him

- if youre poetic or straightforward he literally just says "woah"

- he just turns into that one cartoon wolf im not kidding, literal "ohh mama hubba hubba" from this man

- his flirting style is very straightforward, not "hey babygirl" type but "youre so pretty i would leave all my belongings and change my identity if it ment i could hold your hand" type, do you understand??

Don Flamenco

- replies 1.2 seconds after you, he needs to have the last word here (or last rizz in this case)

- literal mirror, the more more straightforward & atrocious your lines are the more straightforward his are going to be until it devolves into both of you sounding down bad, when they go low, he goes lowER

- poetic lines makes him have a heart attack

- its actually possible to fluster him

- unironically says babygirl to anyone hes flirting with when approaching, it doesnt matter how tall, strong or flirty you are, your gender doesnt matter, he can and will call you babygirl, its a gender neutral term for him, corners you while doing it

Aran Ryan

- evil cackling, if you put a organ over his laugh you suddenly get a scooby doo villain, he sounds less like hes flustered and more like hes about to detonate a nuclear bomb

- unhinged lines, ends up getting restraining orders thrown at him

- brings things he finds cool to flirt, ranging from flowers to rocks (he was a evil crow in a past life trust me his left eyebrow told me)

- cartwheels away

Soda Popinski

- maniacal giggling, even if its not THAT good & ridiculously straightforward

- his pick up lines unintentionally sound like god tier shitposts & end up working somehow

- corners you (in the romantic way) if you're really direct

- has the silliest giggle when flustered, literal "hehe" coming from this man that could snap you in half if he wanted to

Bald Bull

- you think the others are bad at handling flirting?? Then you havent seen bald bull because OH MY GOD HES ABOUT TO LITERALLY FLY OFF THE EARTH

- hes actually fairly difficult to fluster but once you find his weak spot hes gone from there

- cannot flirt back, blurts something dumb out like "sorry im all red pretty people make me nauseous"

- he literally goes (> - <) when blushing & covers his face with his hands

- the more direct you are the closer he gets to passing out

- stutters a lot (omg y/n is that you)

- Bull, this is bottom behavior

- people use the most unhinged pick up lines on him, someone once told him "let me milk you."

- his hands automatically go 👉👈 if hes too flustered

Super Macho Man

- Stop boosting his ego please, he may be flustered but youre kinda enabling him

- dumbest pick up lines

- also another unironic "hey babygirl" user

- if he doesnt know what to do he just throws money & valuables, 5000 dollars be upon ye

Mr Sandman

- oh my god he has the sweetest smile ever (if you dont go too straightforward), he doesnt blush a whole lot but he just chuckles a bit

- if youre direct, his jaw also drops like huh??

- his weak spots are poems & small gifts

- a little bit dense but once he gets it he smiles like crazy

- giggling kicking his feet whenever he remembers that

[blade-liger-4ever]

Just saw this last night, and HOO-BOY, I LOVED IT!

So, I won't really get into the plot, at least for now, because I just gotta get the cast talked about first.

The casting of Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief is perfect! Pierce Brosnen nailed Chiron, and I get the feeling he would have stolen more scenes if he'd had more screentime (the moment he said "Are you kidding? This is the best part", he became one of my favorite background characters.) The kid doing Percy made me really like the character; I never read the books until recently, and even then I skipped straight to the second arc where the Romans are involved, but even with this current book where Percy is a POV character, I did and do not care for him as much as Movie Percy. Kid was great, ten outta ten acting.

Annabeth struck me as far more interesting in the movie than the books. Heck, even before I read from her viewpoint she didn't interest me at all; in the movie, she's rather arrogant and snobbish, but it works in the character's favor and makes her far more compelling. The actress did great, and props to her for endearing Annabeth to me: that was a feat.

Grover was THE BEST of the trio, I will not take criticism. He protected Percy, took everything in stride, and figured out what they were dealing with on the fly easily - all without being Mr. Perfect and still being humorous (e.g. when they leave Medusa's severed and sunglasses-laden head in the hotel sink, Grover responds, "Guys, really? I cannot pee with her staring at me." Top notch comedy, I need more films with this actor.)

Sean Bean was good as Zeus. I don't have much to say about his part, honestly; he wasn't there much, but 1 he made Zeus tolerable, and 2 he had the most presence out of all the actors, with Kevin McKidd being a close, and I mean close, runner up.

Speaking of, Kevin McKidd, AKA Fenn Rau from Star Wars Rebels (and the big draw of this film for me), was. Absolutely. AWESOME.

And he only really had ten minutes in the film!

Seriously though, he played Poseidon so well. You could tell he was thousands of years old, still in his prime, and resisting every instinct to run over, hug Percy, and never let him go when they were within a hundred feet of each other. Even when all you could get from him in the movie was his voice, the care and urgency for his son's safety carried through beautifully.

The other actors - Hades, Persephone, the mortal actors in the background - they were all equally great. They made the characters likable, despicable, or somewhere in between. Bravo, people!

And then there's the second draw of this film for me: Jake Abel as Luke, son of Hermes, and the true lightning thief.

If there was ever anything that showed how much wasted potential the writers of Supernatural had when consistently throwing Jake Abel out the window after having him appear like six times in the show, this film was it.

He made Luke funny, likable, and mischievous, garnering the love of the audience, and then broke the hearts of those who liked him when he turned around and revealed he was an angry, hurt young man who wanted to overthrow the Olympians and take over in their stead in order to "right" their wrongs of being neglectful jerks (the only one who wasn't actually completely neglectful on purpose was Poseidon. My guy was trying his hardest to stay in touch with Percy and did everything he could to help him out.)

Jake Abel, I'm sincerely sorry you never got the next four films that should have come after Sea of Monsters, and even more sorry that you got so dissed in Supernatural. Consider this post of mine a letter of apology.

Okay, plot discussion time - well, at least the gushing of how it was handled.

So, setting up the whole war between the Olympians actually doesn't strike me as horribly handled. Yes yes, there's more "concrete" reasons for it in the book, but for the public who have never heard of these books, it's not all that farfetched. I mean, public opinion of Hades is always bad (I'm sorry Hades, you really don't deserve that rep), Poseidon doesn't particularly care for drama, and his mood tends to switch on a dime, and Zeus? Please, we all know how much of a jerk-butt he is. Be honest: Is it really all that hard to believe Zeus declaring war if his master bolt isn't returned in two weeks? And as for him jumping to the conclusion of Poseidon's son stealing it - just look at the opening scene of the film. The way Poseidon got physical that fast, and moments before was practically spitting venom at Zeus for banning him from seeing his son, it's no wonder Zeus thought Poseidon would've done something to make Percy steal it from him.

Now before you come at me, let me put it this way.

Think of yourself in Zeus' mindset. You're a capricious jerk, who won't take the blame, don't care for your offspring at all, and are constantly at odds with your brothers over power/territory struggles. Using your kid is gonna be as natural as breathing to you, so why wouldn't you assume your brothers would do the same? Hmm?

Now, the family and school drama was done excellently as well, especially that moment where one of the kids at the school grabs another and slams him against a locker while Percy and Grover make tracks. Gabe was perfectly detestable, and it was immensely satisfying to see Grover wallop his butt. The race to Camp Half-Blood was done well, although the Chevelle didn't deserve that fate (I will, however, accept the obvious fact that it only got dinged up and lost the hood. A modern day car would have exploded on impact with the ground and sent shrapnel everywhere.)

The scenes with the camp were good, especially how it was quickly yet subtly established that everyone there had lived there for some years and were already pros at combat and other physical activities. Hades' entrance was great, the progression across the country was well-paced, and Luke's help throughout was done neatly and in a manner where the audience only got a glimmer of resentment from him before the bolt was found in the shield.

Speaking of, the scene in the Underworld is severely underappreciated. The effects were grand, the acting well-done, and the positioning of the Underworld in Hollywood is genius on many levels.

The fight scene in Manhatten was good, though I confess Luke's aerial combat was a bit spotty at the beginning. Otherwise it was great, and the first show of Percy's powers was magnificent. No joke, that CGI and other effects are gonna hold up for another thousand years.

Olympus was beautiful, quite honestly, and I love 1 the sheer difference in scale they showed between the humans and the Olympians, and 2 how Poseidon "sheds" water to shrink and appear more normal. More effects that are spectacular and underrated.

The last scene - the return to camp and training - not much to say, other than that it felt really organic, natural, and beautiful. All in all, a great film that's unfairly hated on.

Okay, now for some personal gushing on my part.

So, I'm sure you guessed by now that I was here for Kevin McKidd, mostly because I knew him first in Star Wars Rebels. This is my first time watching him onscreen, but it was amazing and captivating on his part. Not only did he make me believe that he was the Greek god of the seas, but he made me feel Poseidon's pain of not being with Percy and his desire to connect with him, and he certainly made me believe that Poseidon would do anything in his power to help Percy, no matter what loophole abuse he had to commit lest raising Zeus' ire.

As for the dynamic itself, I'm so so happy.

I love how Poseidon risked so much to physically be at the museum while Percy was across the street from him, just to make sure that he could both warn Percy completely and see him in case something went wrong. And although it's a sore spot for the fans, I love how Chiron shows Percy his own little home at Camp Half-Blood, and outright states that Poseidon built it for him. Just Percy, no one else; that's like a father making a specific room for his son, and the fact that they allowed Poseidon to be shown to love Percy more than anything through little things like that is enough to make me burst in happiness.

I loved how Poseidon guided Percy to the water to heal him and give him a second wind in Capture the Flag, and that he woke up Percy and refused to let him be lulled back into the Lotus Eaters' trap until he was sure Percy was back to his senses and able to get out on his own. And when Percy's in the hall of Olympus, Poseidon is practically begging Zeus, his younger brother, to let him speak with Percy, because he knows a chance like this won't arise again for a while. And the sheer relief in his face when Zeus allows it, man, I could've died at that.

The talk between father and son, it was beautiful. It makes sense that Percy has some remaining resentment toward Poseidon for leaving, for not kicking out his stepfather, and the fact that Poseidon doesn't even hold it against him is wonderful. The moment he explains why he couldn't see Percy, and the second Percy realizes the law forbidding the Olympians from seeing their children had been passed because Poseidon loved him so much he was abandoning his duties is golden. And Poseidon telling him that he was always watching Percy and helping him as best he could, and how he promised to always be there for Percy, even in his thoughts and dreams - beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.

And the icing on the cake? You remember that I mentioned a training round at camp at the end? It's between Percy and Annabeth, and they're on a hill, but guess what can be seen below the hill?

The lake.

Where Poseidon can watch his son training, and has an easier time of making contact with him.

This movie is a masterpiece, and if you're not a fan of the books and have never seen it before, please, go give Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief a watch! You won't regret it!

[kinetic-elaboration]

October 20: Annabelle

Today, watched Annabelle yet again proving to myself that the Conjuring 'verse is not worth anything outside of the original Conjuring.

I was not impressed. I’m a little bitter because I’ve been feeling somewhat down this weekend and especially today and I wanted this movie to distract me and pull me out of that feeling and it did not do that; it didn’t even ward off my evening anxiety, so there’s that. But also it just wasn’t very good.

First, and I was hoping I’d get over this while watching but I did not, that doll design is bad. It’s ugly as hell, and it’s simultaneously too obviously cursed (who would look at this dirty-ass doll with all the cracks in it and its utterly evil aspect and go, ah yes, a nice gift? TWICE) and not remotely scary enough. The real Annabelle is scary. There’s something not right with that doll. Probably the demon in it. This doll—boring.

Second, I don’t think this movie knew what it was about. Yeah, it had a theme of motherly love and sacrifice or some such (not interesting to me but I did see it, and it all came together in a depressing manner in the end, sure), but as a horror, it was scattered. Is it about demons? Technically, but there wasn’t that much explanation of the demonic or focus on it. On cults? In passing. Is the husband a selfish loser who will make his wife feel like she’s going insane or ultimately supportive? Six of one, half dozen of the other. The friend is important but only after showing up over halfway through. The movie is certainly long enough to do a better job explaining the connections among the cultists, the demon, and the doll—but it doesn’t. Presumably the cultists put the demon in the doll. Why? Eh. It seems like they accomplished their task in killing the neighbors but then they just kept going because…. uh, mumble mumble mumble. Again, there is time for exposition on this. Relatedly, the doll seems incredibly random. There’s obviously some sort of connection between the lost daughter cultist and the doll but like what that connection is and why it exists I could not say.

Third, the horror was very off and on, and when the movie did feel like a horror, it very rarely hit, at least for me. I have been hard to scare lately, I’ll admit that. But I felt like the horror here was either zero or a hundred. There was some, but not much, in the way of spooky build up—like the static on the TV and phone. Generally it was either normal life for the couple or ah demon chasing Mia through the basement, no in between. I thought the scene where she finds the kids’ violent drawings on the stairs was disturbing. But then also like—what was that about lol? And I thought the priest driving the car scene was scary, too—a little bit of a fake out, not in a bad way, for anyone who knows about the real Annabelle, and I appreciated that.

I wish it had had the courage of its convictions more, honestly. Play more into the time period and the anxieties of the day, for example: yeah, the cultists, the Mansons, that stuff’s scary. Or the claustrophobia of being a young mother whose husband works all day and thinks he has the hardest life in the world and only half-sorta-kinda believes you when you say you’re being haunted by demons. I’m not a fan of body horror, especially pregnancy-related body horror, but there’s room for that in here! Make the doll do more stuff, perhaps.

Or hell just make a movie about the actual Annabelle story with the nursing students, which would probably be better. I assume they didn’t do that because that story’s too well known but I don’t care.

Overall, I found it more sad than scary. That ending? That was sad!! People attacked in a random home invasion, a pregnant woman worrying about her child, the long shadow of the aftermath of violence on a young family—these are depressing things, not scary things, and I feel bummed out about them.

Oh well. As Above So Below is actually staying with me pretty well, and I liked Candyman 2021 and I think The Conjuring holds up so I guess this season hasn’t been a total bust.

[plumbley-bee]

Watched the first episode and these are the things I liked

.zuko being a blatent avatar fan boy and furiously drawing a picture of aang the moment they meet to put on his little find the avatar wall.

.sokka actually having a good reason as to why he doesn't like it when Katara waterbends because it's dangerous and their mother literally died to protect that secret rather than him just thinking its weird.

.the memory of his former teacher being the thing that calms aang down from his freak out after finding out his whole tribe is dead rather than katara and sokka.

Really really tried going in with an open mind, I wanted to like this show so bad you guys. But these are the only changes so far that I think we're done well. Maybe the next few episodes will be better, but Aang narrating everything he's feeling very quickly after we meet him and also to nobody but appa? Katara and aang not even introducing themselves before she comforts him? Sokka gets mad at aang for "lying" about being the avatar but like in this adaptation they talk like what, once? Before that gets revealed? How could he lie he was unconscious half the time you've been around him! In the original katara literally asks him if he knows anything about the avatar on their way back to the tribe and he actually lies to her, but the live action doesnt even have them interact until after he learns his people are dead. He isn't given time to lie to them! He barely knows them!! Everything being told to us and aang by grangran, fully pulling us out of any immersion you could even try to have because it came out of NOWHERE and fit so horribly like we barely meet grangran before this happens and suddenly she's breaking this really important impactful news? I literally bust out laughing bc it felt so unserious.

I felt us seeing the massacre of the Airbenders was unnecessary, I felt learning about it by watching Aang learn about it was much more heartbreaking and left a bigger emotional impact. But that would've been fine had they given the moment he discovers the remains of the air temple any emotional weight, but after it was all already explained to us with a monolog from a minor character, a lot of that has also unfortunately been taken away from that scene.

oh and aang getting his air glider from zukos ship was fine but that thing literally is supposed to mean so much to him?? Like that's one of the few things he has from his people left and it's not even his now ig???

(Also the sokka immediately going to sacrifice aang felt so out of pocket like you're gonna tell me that the 16 year old boy who has been looking after the kids in his tribe most of his life is going to throw a 12 year old to the wolves because he lied to you even though he really didn't because he was never given time to even lie to you in the first place!!)

I'm also sad aang didn't get to play with the kids, or go penguin sledding with katara, they were silly filler stuff but they were important in their own way too.

"Aang brought us something we hadn't had in a long time, fun."

This has always been the heart of the show for me. learning to live rather than just survive, still enjoying things, and finding hope during even the hardest wars. Aang as the avatar brings the potential for the world to finally know peace again, aang as the last Airbender bring the hope that Airbenders aren't all extinct, but aang as the boy in the iceberg? He brings joy and fun and laughter where he goes. He remembers what good came from the world before all the bad. he runs from his responsibilities and problems because he's a young boy and he's scared and that fear and that "cowardice" brings him so much shame that he just tries to fix other people's problems instead to make up for it and THATS THE AANG THAT IS SUCH A GOOD MAIN CHARACTER!

Idk, I'll try to keep watching, but they've already removed so much heart from just the first episode.

[tloubraininfection]

“Grey skies for months, would you still be here?”

I keep going back to Joel`s speech about failure from episode 6, becasue it gets me every time. I remember watching it the first time and wanting to reach through the screen to shake him and to tell him how wrong he really is. Cause I know a thing or two about failed parents, so I can tell you with a degree of certainty that Joel never was one. He was never perfect and he`s made a ton of mistakes, but he was not a failure either.

The only problem is he set an impossible standard for himself after Sarah`s death. His idea of good parenting is keeping a kid alive and safe from any danger, always and no matter what. It means being a superhero biting the bullet, predicting bad things and stopping them from happening, making right decisions every time, not having to sleep or eat, not getting hurt, tired or old.  Everything else, like bringing comfort to your child, being emotionally available to them, showing them the world, teaching them, loving them, caring for them – none of it matters now. None of it would`ve saved Sarah`s life so what’s the point, right?

Only those are the most important qualities. And Joel offers them to Ellie from the very beginning. It’s like he can’t help it, even when he’s trying to keep his distance it`s amazing how attuned he is to her how much attention he pays to her. He notices when she's cold, hungry or tired, he can sense when she's scared or uneasy. He tries his hardest to shield her from actual danger, but also from discomfort or unpleasantness. He teaches her things, necessary skills to help her survive sure, but also just answers her questions about the world best he can.

And Ellie mirrors it right back at him. I think that’s exactly the thing that draws her to him, makes her efforts to befriend him so relentless. With million questions, shortening the distance between them and making it her life purpose to make him laugh, to unfrown that brow even if just for a second. She relishes the care and attention he gives her and she wants to give it back. It`s not the violence she`s activated by, it’s the kindness. She notices he's not hearing that well on his right side and she tries to accommodate that, she sees him passed out and she lets him sleep, even against his explicit wishes, because he needs rest. She wants to be useful, she wants to share some of the burden, she wants to be part of the team.

But Joel is reluctant, because he wants her to be a kid in the way she will never be allowed to be. Not in this world. And he knows that, yet he desperately wants to carry every burden by himself. To let her help would be to fail, to admit he is not invincible, to admit that he`s just one man. And as such he can only fail, sooner or later. The thing is parent-child relationship is all about failure. No matter how great of a parent, protector or carer you are, you won’t be able to watch you kid 24/7, the world is still going to turn as usual and things are going to happen. And some of those things are going to be really bad. What really matters is what happens next, that is what really defines a parent.

You don’t fail your kids when bad things happen to them, but you do fail them when you leave them to deal with the aftermath alone. That’s really all there is and still it makes all the difference. Someone to help you make sense of the world again, someone always showing you true north, reminding you who you are, someone telling you the same story over and over again and on bad days someone drawing the blinds on and just staying in with you. You can hear the snow settling on the roof, but inside it`s warm and you are both there and before you know it the sun is coming up again. It’s a new day.

Trauma jest not an event, but what happens to you because of that event. And how you`ll react to it, how it will affect you depends on many things and one of them is your environment. Do you have someone to catch you, to help you, to hold you? It’s nowhere near as simple as the creators of TLOU make it, “Joel saves Ellie emotionally”, cause that’s not possible, there is no saving or fixing. But patience, care and consistency of love make all the difference. Ellie saved herself, she survived David`s attack and she would`ve even without Joel. But having him there after the fact to catch her, to reassure her to be there for her is invaluable.  And he will continue to be there as she moves past this, as she saves herself, lifts herself up. And she will.

But until she gets there Joel will be finding true north for her, singing her songs, asking her million questions and coming up with bad jokes and silly stories, hoping beyond all hope they will make her smile even if just for a second. He`ll make sure its extra safe so she can sleep and rest, but if that’s still not enough they`ll just stay up all night talking about sheep ranches on the moon. He will see her the way she is and always has been until she can see herself again too. It`s not medicine, but once again – it makes all the difference.

And if he`s a failed parent I wish every parent could fail their kid his exact way.

[toxic-potions-productions]

About time I finished her. Here's Nanoka Matsumoto!

I procrastinated on this so much, it's not even funny. She was the HARDEST character so far, but at least I got it

Also, I went out to the Henry Ford museum in Dearborn with my parents earlier today, & it was incredible! Let me know if you want a photo dump later, cuz I'm down

Alright, meet Nanoka! She's one of the greatest kunoichi in Japan & is even a little famous because of it. Before she became one, she was, trigger warning, SA'd by a drunk man & she suddenly jumped him & killed him. Only with a single kunai. She's fully recovered from that by now & has used that power to put her where she is now

She's lived in the entertainment district her entire life. Because of this, she knows the area like the back of her hand. To the point where she knew something was wrong when Gyutaro & Daki came into the picture. BTW, about the Moonlit reunions arc with Koku & Zakiko, I'm changing it to take place during that arc instead of the swordsmith village arc. My bad! ^^"

She wasn't too keen on being arranged to three husbands all at once, so she hated all of them at first. Eventually, she just let her guard down around them & now she'll do anything for them

She & her hubbys actually help out Tengen, Yuzuki, & the kids when things get bad with upper six, so they hold off Gyutaro for a bit

Because of her beauty, she always gets hit on & asked to "have fun" with people. But, she's a loyal girl to her boys & she can & will stick a kunai down your gullet, so keep your hands to yourself

No doodle, but here's a close up of her hubbys!

Daichi was actually the biggest help with Gyu & Daki because he laid low under the radar, jumping from house to house to see what was happening

& I'm far too lazy to explain the boys right now, so I'll either edit this or direct you to @batmansbae1600 because I told her about them when she wanted to know about them. So, if you wanna know, either wait until I decide to edit this or just ask J

What I will tell you about them is that they look like they mean business, & they do, but they're always just a bunch of flustered kitties with Lady Nanoka (Yes, I'm gonna draw that at some point >:3)

Thank you for voting for her in that one poll so I can get her out of the way, she was so hard to do qwp

Okimi is next! Stay tuned!

----------------------------------------

Nanoka, Daichi, Keiko, & Senko Matsumoto by: Me

Demon slayer by: Koyoharu Gotouge & Ufotable

Do not steal, trace or copy.

[becauseplot]

I don't know if you remember her backstory I typed up a while back, but yeah... Tallulah has never in her life been safe or happy, and Chayanne has only just discovered these things, and he wants to give her the universe. That's his brain-friend and little sister! She's been hunted most of her life and he'll stab you if you hurt her! But also he's sharing his dads because sometimes the monsters are too tall. Best Big Brother.

And yeah! Egg classes! They do also have stuff like reading, writing, and maths, but their education is extremely casual and all over. Especially as it doubles up as daycare. Main eggs range from about 11 (Chayanne) to 2 (Trump) in terms of development, and then there's A1/Allie who is in her late teens to look at but only about 3 months old, and because of speed growth both mental and physical development are a mess. So, education is very, very all over. Just whatever the adults fancy teaching. It's the likes of Pac and Mike and Cellbit who insist someone has to teach them maths and reading and writing hardest (AKA the ones who didn't get education themselves...), though everyone shares the burden of unfun subjects.

And writing this I realise this Cellbit probably had an extremely bad reading ability most of his life. He remembers a bit of the skill from before the amnesia, like he does many skills (unlike say Quackity's amnesia where he lost reading and maths and stuff too), but... He still had to piece it all back together. And even then his skill was only that of a 10 year old. It's good now! And he teaches the kids to read and does silly voices when he does storytime for them (Pac e Mike do maths, but also baking powder volcano type science). But... it's a skill he had to fight for. Mostly alone. The prison did force him into some education programs, but it was mostly just them ticking legal requirement boxes not actually helping him with it. Felps almost certainly also helped, but yeeeeeah. I bet for his birthday Pac and Mike are trying to find and steal him a set of literary classics and the sort of stuff you study at school as he never had the chance to do any of those. Those two at least remember the schooling they did, and made it to 13/15 which is more than Cellbit's 10, even if not enough!!!

Sorry got distracted by thoughts of like... the blorbos.

Loving the thoughts about the blorbos!! Give me all of the distracted thoughts about the blorbos!!!!!

First of all yes bestest big brother Chayanne! Beloveds <3

The classes thing is so fucking cute holy shit. And makes sense who's advocating for the Essentials the most, given their circumstances (everyone just wants better for the kids than they got themselves I'm ;-;). The ideas about Cellbit, Pac, and Mike's educations pre-everything is just so goddamned *bangs fist on table /pos* (Rrrrr that's what I love about your worldbuilding and character-crafting so much it's those little details!! They mean so much. Love love love this series so much you've no idea.)

I imagine those classes with the kids are also a nice kind of break from the craziness of ykno: alien invasions, dangerous missions, constant threat of death or annihilation or Worse hanging over their heads. Stressed out of your mind about your impending doom? Go wrangle the kids into a lesson about photosynthesis. Do finger painting with them with whatever paints you've got. Demonstrate how to use a socket wrench. Help them bake something nice to eat. Show them how to write their names. Read a book with them and help them sound out the big words. Teach them phrases in your mother tongue, and then teach them about the country you came from, and then teach them about the continents, and then teach them about the planet. Sketch the solar system with a sharpie on the back of an old mission report and draw a little arrow to the circle labeled "Earth" and tell them we are here and this is our home. Answer their million-billion questions and remember what exactly it is you're fighting for.

[beardedhandstoadshark]

Who was your first ever OC? Do you still “use” them? How have they evolved over time?

What story are you the proudest of? Why?

What are your favourite relationships between your OCs? (romantic or platonic!)

Hiii thanks for asking! This got super long so I‘m diving each one with a ——— so it’s easier to read!

Officially, my first oc was/is Tomato the tomato girl, whom I made as a 12y old for a jump n run game called "Tomato and the quest for Spaghetti“ in one of those "make your own game“ online thingies that give you a bunch of small game templates to edit. The plot was (iirc) either that the holy Spagetti was stolen or lost, or that there was no ketchup left for said spaghetti and she went out to find it. …don’t think too much about the implications of the latter one.

I still "use“ her the way I "use“ most ocs I’ve got; that is, making them in character creators and occasionally drawing them if I‘m bored, as cameos, or memes. So not actively.

Since she’s basically been "dormant“ since I was 15, only her looks changed, mostly!

Originally her hair was literally just a tomato, and the outfit was a sleeveless square dress in red with a green scarf (and isn’t that a familiar color palette?),

then it became a winter dress with sleeves,

then went back to the first one but the scarf was gone and tried to actually draw her a bit rounder,

gained a friend and the hair‘s become regular hair,

ran both looks parallel as seasonal outfits,

and then I was 15. Have been sitting on a potential "future“ look for an older version of her, as she was originally set at ~12y old like me at the time.

—————-

Story as in character or proper story? For characters, Red‘s still the only one who both makes sense and doesn’t only feel like self-indulgence, so her :]

Actual story is…I’ve got a bunch of small "testing out how writing works“ WIP’s in the drafts (and I think 1 of them might even have been posted?) on my oc blog, but the only stories that actually ever saw the light of day were a bunch of crack fics about emojis me and my bff wrote in 6th grade. One person sent one part, and then the other one continued writing a bit from there. The greatest of them was the dramatic life and romance of the star and comet emoji.

Like. The Finale is one big fightscene on top of a volcano and also makes up half the story. The main villains are Manfred von Karma Ace Attorney and Günther Fire Emblem Fates. There’s a Yuri-on-Ice segment between the shit emoji and literal broccoli, which turns into the best romance in this entire thing and is to this day unironically the most invested I have ever been in a ship. A group of 7 only had 6 people in it and we didn’t notice until the very end. It was very bad, and very glorious.

I kid you not, if you want to have the best fun you could ever have with writing, grab yourself a friend or anyone online, and start writing an absolute crack fic with no holding back, it’ll be fun af

—————

Aside from the absolutely best romance ever created that’s alluded to up there, for my own guys- whatever the heck is (supposed to be) going on between Violet and Mage. It’s basically "I vibe with who you are but hate what you stand for“.

Or alternatively, the arranged marriage trope but the marriage is friendship and the arrangement is Red, and also it’s enemies to rivals

Because, in principle, Violet and Mage hate each other. Violets entire life has been dictated by duties and trying her damn hardest to get good enough with light magic to meet the expectations of her family because of her high magic potential, only to fall through, and basically spent her whole life stuck in a single room with barely any contact to others let alone anything genuine. Meanwhile there’s Mage who wields his dark magic with an ease like it’s a kids toy and no problem using it for petty things, no regard for the damage it could potentially cause, can do whatever the heck he wants and go everywhere, and worst, having all the freedom in the world yet CHOOSING to lie to everyone and himself, while she has been forced to follow a script that ends with her doom.

On the other hand, Mage looks at Violet and sees another pompous royal judging him based on status differences, whose family is leeching off his hard-earned bearings just because some legend says they’ve got special god sealing juice in their line, AND she has the absolute audacity to deliberately let the people who know her think she’s still missing or even dead, when his best friend went missing 5 years ago and he never found out what happened, how dare she make others go through that pain.

They also both know the other is lying to themself basically 24/7 and reaaaallly don’t like having that mirror in front of their faces.

On the other hand, they keep having things in common, and the fact annoys them both whenever it’s pointed out. They’re both unashamedly manipulative. Mage got no problem lying and backstabbing for his own gains, while Violet has no issue using manipulation and such if that’s the "most efficient way" to solve any given problem (even if it includes pretending you’re MIA). They also very much like to tag-team to mess with others in that regard. They both hate having to play an act personality-wise, but also understand that’s often the only way to gain the best outcome of any situation.

And they‘re both absolutely nerds. Loving history, knowledge, learning things and excitedly tell others fun facts, a fascination for magic (something Violet only begrudgingly admits) and are absolutely thrilled that there’s finally another person who not only wants to listen but also KNOWS what they’re talking about and can add to it with their own info, AND they both enjoy talking to the other in general.

Basically, they would NEVER even walk near each other a 1km radius if they both hadn’t been friends with Red, but if she was ever out of the equation afterwards, there‘s a good chance they’d actually hang out with each other at least for a while (It’d inevitably fall apart. But there’s also a chance they’d hang out again perhaps, probably by accidentally being forced to work together again)

Also somewhere along the line their designs started reflecting that whole "completely opposite sides but also the same things in common“ thing a bit and I still think that’s the smartest thing I’ve ever done lmao

[kamreadsandrecs]

Title: How Fast Did T. rex Run?: Unsolved Questions from the Frontiers of Dinosaur Science Author: David Hone Genre/s: nonfiction, science, paleontology Content/Trigger Warnings: none that I could tell Summary (from publisher website):  In just the past twenty years, we have learned more about dinosaurs than we did in the previous two centuries. This book describes the extraordinary advances in palaeontology that are beginning to solve many of the mysteries surrounding these marvelous prehistoric creatures, from their ways of communicating to their mating habits, the color of their skin, their migration patterns and extinction. How did dinosaurs rear their young? What did they eat? What did T. rex actually do with those tiny arms? David Hone draws on his own discoveries at the forefront of dinosaur science to illuminate these and other questions. Each chapter in this lively and informative book covers a key topic in dinosaur science, such as origins, diversity, evolution, habitats, anatomy, behaviour, ecology and dinosaur descendants—the birds. For each topic, Hone discusses the history of what palaeontologists thought in the past, the new insights we are gleaning from recent fossil finds and the latest technologies and the gaps in our knowledge that still remain. He shares his own predictions about the research areas that may produce the next big ideas in dinosaur science and addresses the unknowns we may never solve. How Fast Did T. rex Run? reveals everything we now know about dinosaurs—and everything we don’t—and charts thrilling new directions for tomorrow’s generation of dinosaur scientists.

Buy Here: https://press.princeton.edu/books/ebook/9780691242521/how-fast-did-t-rex-run Spoiler-Free Review: So: about this book. I was actually looking for Hone’s The Future of Dinosaurs after I heard about it on the Terrible Lizards podcast, which Hone cohosts with Iszi Lawrence. Did not know it had been retitled to How Fast did T. rex Run? for the US release, and so got mixed up and got it much later than I’d like. Still, I did get it (eventually), and after some huffing and wishing that publishers wouldn’t DO that (retitling books I mean), I got stuck in.

(Also I like the UK cover much better. No offense to the designers of the US cover, but I like the dark blue and gold of the UK cover more. Also I like stegosaurus more than T. rex.)

Fortunately the contents of the book itself are the same as the UK one (by which I mean, it’s all UK spelling), so it’s really just me and my personal sense of aesthetics and my frustration at the retitling thing talking here lol Anyway... Well. It’s not BAD, per se. Just not quite as fun as I imagined it’d be, given what I knew of Hone from the podcast. And Hone does a pretty decent job of covering the things we do know about dinosaurs, and the things we don’t actually know about dinosaurs, and where things might go in the future given what the field of paleontology looks like vis-a-vis other developments in science and technology, as well as the overall socio-political-economic trajectory of the world at large (because what happens in the world at large has an enormous effect on what happens in scientific fields, and let’s not pretend it’s not true). What I found interesting was that the questions that seem hardest to answer are what I’d call “kid questions”: the kind of thing a dino-obsessed seven- or eight-year-old might ask. Things like “What color were dinosaurs?” or “What was the biggest dinosaur EVER?” And it’s personally amusing to me that a child would put forward questions that would make a paleontologist break out in cold sweats or give them war-flashbacks, but at the same time that makes a whole lot of sense. There’s just SO MUCH STUFF we still don’t know about dinosaurs given the extreme patchiness of the fossil record, plus limitations both inside and outside the field. Paleontologists might have a decent idea of how dinosaurs moved (biomechanics being, apparently, a rapidly-expanding field in paleontology), but things as basic as knowing the colors dinosaurs came in are immensely hard to answer. But that being said, Hone notes that there will come a time when even those hard questions will have answers - if not definitive ones, then reasonably logical best guesses. It’s really a matter of locating the right finds; channeling resources to the right places; technology advancing to a point where it can be used to bring up new information; and researchers deciding to spend time and effort on the right things. Hone also points out that things are getting harder because of budget cuts, and that some necessary parts of paleontology are not as glamorous and therefore not getting the time and energy from researchers they deserve (he names anatomy, specifically, as one such field), but that overall, the future has immense potential.  So: overall, I’d call this a worthwhile read, but I think I stuck with it because I encountered Hone first on the podcast, and was willing to give it a shot. YMMV if this is your first encounter with his work. 

Rating: three theropod claws

[1010lilfoot]

It must be tough to draw such big shots like the latest update. How do you do it? ><

It can definitely be tough! Some are harder than others. As you might expect, the fabled crowd shots are rough ones. This wasn't so bad, but I've had to draw shots with like 40 characters milling around (I made myself do it so I have no one to blame lol).

The hardest part for me is that I get bored halfway through. I don't like spending too long on one page, or even one panel, haha. Well, it also gets difficult to keep track of all the little details. I must train harder...

My advice for big establishing shots? Just stick to it! Don't get bogged down in details. You'll be done after a while and you won't be bored anymore!

Okay I did have very vague thoughts when drawing the background characters for this one, so I will elaborate on them! Going from top to bottom/left to right!

Fishhead Guy: He's part of security for the event! A wise adult. He can only drink salt water, and Partridge keeps a steady supply for him. Keeps a small aquarium at home. Has he ever taken a sip of the water? That's for him to know and for us to never find out...

Below our group of known characters is...a whole bunch of NYSM members! Yes, they are a big group. The size is more like TDD than TDL.

Blond Hair and Green Dress: Young adults dancing around a relationship. Both are thinking the same thing... "Does she like me back?" She does! Work it out! In terms of their Talents, Green Dress gives totally accurate horoscopes. When Blond Hair feels down, her presence turns into that of the sea at night, when it's completely dark. She draws you in, and if you take her hand, you'll be lost at sea... Not on purpose, though. She's nice!

Suspenders: They are good friends with Blond and Green. They don't actually have a Talent, but they're a part of NYSM nonetheless. When Green became Talented, Suspenders joined her in leaving home to find a Talent City. Suspenders is very, very good at math. A lot of Talented ran away from home/left society as young teenagers, so being good at math is like, an insane skill.

White Fire and Suit Friend: Besties. :) White Fire acts on impulse 99% of the time and Suit Friend enables him. They're cool kids who like to...uh, loiter. White Fire tried to skateboard and completely wiped out, once. Suit Friend's Talent is being literally impossible to knock over. White Fire's Talent is self-explanatory. The fire isn't hot, but it has zero functionality.

Birdcage and Puffer Jacket: Birdcage's Talent is reminiscent of a phoenix! Fire will randomly generate in her birdcage head–also not hot. She heals fast, and is immortal (except for old age). She doesn't know a lot about her Talent because, like...how would she test this stuff? Bubbles will spontaneously generate from Puffer Jacket's body. This is all her Talent does. She knows a lot about it, though, and in a dangerous situation, she can create a bubble smokescreen easily. Birdcage thinks she's super cool.

White Hair and Star: Star looks familiar to me too... She's not a reference or anything though, so I probably just reused an old design on accident. She can jump on those stars and use them as platforms, but they shrink and disappear quickly. Her Talent is like a real life video game platformer. White Hair can find any sort of plant in their sleeves. They've learned how to make tea/herbal remedies/etc. because of this. They're shy but they'll give you a flower.

Feathers, Green Hair, and Red Jacket: All adults! Feathers' Talent is just that–growing feathers like a scarf. He really likes it and think's it's fashionable. He's a bit narcissistic. Green Hair can change her hair like a chameleon. It usually happens on accident, like a mood ring. She can't control it well and she's a chaotic person, so it's constantly changing. Red Jacket is doing their best to make both these weirdos chill out. It is not going well. Their Talent means everything they touch with their bare hands will be stained red. It washes out eventually, but they wear gloves, for practicality.

[the-beginning-is-ending]

HOUSE M.D x WarriorCats

FelidaeMD is yet another crossover between HouseMD and WarriorCats, where I will be actively rewriting the series, along with adjusting it to fit the warriors series.

This is a remaster post for the designs that I created before, and overall I might make a fic for this AU, but no promises! Anyone is free to use these designs for unrelated things or for their own stories and AUs.

Pt. 2!

Designs + info after the message under the cut!

I'm back! I had a really nasty case of artblock, along with the times I actually wanted to draw, I was busy. But, I am now back with these designs!

my motivation just sucks!!! who needs it!!

Either way, I hope you do like these designs, and I will hopefully get back on my more motivated grind.

ESKERVIEW - ESKERSTAR ( Vogler )

These designs r actually kind of backwards I realize, since Vogler, to my memory, was bald, while Tritter at least had some hair, but this felt more fitting to me. A simple, unassuming Bombay I felt was fitting, especially since I know someone with a Bombay and they're the sweetest thing ever. Just a personality you wouldn't expect from someone you thought was so much better.

TRIPPING ( Tritter )

My first thought for Tritter was "what am I gonna do with this man" and it took a hot second, but I have finally figured it out. Bald cat. He's the only design in this batch that has a non-canonical scar to his character, because I thought it was FITTING and I wanted to draw it.

CINDERPINE ( Park )

I sent my friend a sketch of a concept for Park, and they were like "yeah park with a little baby tail that checks out" so I wasn't the only idiot with this idea!! I thought of her haircut so that was my main motivation for her tail, a short little thing that barely counts. She was actually kind of a challenge to get done, since I COULDN'T GET THE RIGHT COLORS FOR HER without being too close to Voglers dark colors since I realized I went for warm-tones and black on them both. That speaks more for my lack of design ability, in all raw honesty.

JAGGEDAPPLE ( Adams )

She was actually the hardest one to design. Out of all the characters. I couldn't figure out how to design her, but I did decide to do a cool, muted tone on her since s8 had shitass lighting that made it look like someone scrubbed the camera with dirt. I'm bad with designs, as I stated before, but I'm especially bad with colors, so trying to design yet another brown cat was actually very difficult for me. tbh I had trouble w all these designs!!

MORNINGMAPLE ( Masters )

My first thought was a Somali, so that was easy. At first I was worried she'd look too much like Cameron, but I quickly realized I was at least better than that. Her pelt becomes a bit duller post-House to show her change, because it was certainly something for a short period of time! I gave her the cheek dots because I was thinking of like the dot blush cartoons have. Anyways, yeah! That's it

I won't make any promises, official references, or due dates, but if I do get bored, I might make designs for side/background characters like Wilson's wives, Stacy, Lucas, Taubs kids, and Rachel. But, once more, no promises! Only if I get bored enough lol. If u have recommendations for any of them, go ahead and tell me some.

HOUSE M.D × WarriorCats

FelidaeMD is yet another crossover between HouseMD and WarriorCats, where I will be actively rewriting the series, along with adjusting it to fit the warriors series.

This is a remaster post for the designs that I created before, and overall I might make a fic for this AU, but no promises! Anyone is free to use these designs for unrelated things or for their own stories and AUs.

Designs + info under the cut!

LINENCURL - LINENSTAR ( Cuddy )

Norwegian-Forest-Cat based! I took inspiration off of a sheep, because of her bangs within the show always reminded me of one.. and idk she has sheep vibes. She also has extra toes on one of her front paws! No reason, just cuz I thought it'd be cool.

JASPERWREN ( Wilson )

Based on an American-Curl +a little heart-like dot on his face! He's the Mediator of the clan they're within, cuz I thought it'd be fitting. More wavy-ish fur.

HARSHGUST ( House )

He's a Cornish-Rex mix. I saw this in a certain Warriors-AU and really liked it, but I can't remember the goddamned name of it (going feral rn). Either way, credits to them! One of his front claws is declawed, just for some detail, and he is the main medicine cat of the clan. Also! Cats, and many animals, can get blood clots and things like that, so it's the same thing that fucked up his leg. No monster or anything like that.

EVERGREENFALL ( Foreman )

I really love his design.. idk why.. he's a Burmese mix, and yeah! He's another medicine cat that House mentored, and stuff like that. Simple. Idk I just love drawing him too!! Also! Extra toes like Cuddy, cuz after all, he does replace her.

AIRYCHIRP ( Cameron )

A Somali! I couldn't decide if I wanted to lean blonde or brown, cuz I think of both when I see her... but I thought an in-between would fit better. I love her chronically sad look... she's so funky...

RAVENCOIL ( Chase )

A marbled Bengal. He didn't change much... as u can tell. It's just him. Same paws / tail being a lighter color as House, following in his paw steps and stuff.... idk. he.

REEDHAIL ( Thirteen )

No real reasoning in her design! I decided on a rex mix with other stuff in there cuz I thought her being a mix was more fitting, is all. (I think the rex part came to me from the same au as the house-rex thing, but I can't remember! sry!!)

VASTAMBER ( Amber )

Her design came easily to me. I saw it since day one, as a simple wirehair cat. It just immediately came to mind. This graceful, golden wirehair who just always looks so.. oddly relaxed.

COLDTAIL ( Taub )

Scottish fold was so obvious.. and also from the same one as House/13, I believe? Idk I just thought it was rlly fitting! I wish I could've gone further with his design, but overall, it's Taub. I think it matches him well enough! itty bitty guy....

LYREKRILL ( Kutner )

Kutner was either gonna be a snowshoe or Siamese, and I thought Siamese fit better, so here he is! I rlly like how simple he is, and Siamese are honestly some of my favorite cats so obv I like him... if only he stuck around for longer. But he definitely made his impact on the show.

Since I cannot add anymore images (yes, very unfortunate) and Vogler / Tritter didn't change designs one bit, they won't be in this post. I'll post them later on probably, but yeah.

They did get clean refs tho.

Plainsclan — Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital

Boarclan — Voglers Clan

PrincetonClan — Clan near the edges of the city where Vogler comes from

[isimpfortoomanypeople]

I loved your high school sweethearts imagine and I was hoping if you could do that with Nate jacobs? But like Nate and the reader have 3 kids ( 2 boys 1 girl the girl being the youngest) and the reader is pregnant again with another boy so like the little girl is Nate’s little princess? :)

Till death do us part- Nate Jacobs x female reader

Spending your high school years in an off and on again relationship wasn’t how you would imagine high school to be. 7years later your best friend Lexi invites you to her engagement party, now the real question is are you and Nate still together?

Warnings: the reader and Nate having a bad relationship in high school, brief smut MDI (I needed it to set the beginning of the story), alcohol, mentions of Cal, toxic masculinity (for context wise Maddy didn’t date Nate in this) super fluffy Nate towards the end

A/N: aww thanks I’m glad that you loved high school sweethearts. I loved writing this, and it maybe a little bit self indulgent by having Lexi and Maddy being the reader’s best friends as they are my favourite characters. This is my first Euphoria fic so I hope that you enjoy it and I’ve done it justice. Sorry if some parts sound over British as I’m from the U.K. apologises for all spelling and grammatical mistakes as I’m super dyslexic, enjoy

You gasped for air rolling your eyes into the back of your head as Nate thrusted into you, moaning your name as he spilt his seed across your velvety walls.

You both panted as you recovered from your climax. Nate lifted his fingers brushing away the strands of hair that clutch to your forehead from the exhaustion you’ve just experienced. He pulled out of you, you both whimpered from the lack of contact.

“This shouldn’t happen again”

“Babe you say this every time”

You panted trying to regain your breath. Trying your hardest to regulate your breathing into a normal rhythm. Nate knew how to make you feel so good to the point that you were putty in his hands.

But you’ve been broken up for over 2 months you should allow yourself to move on but it’s hard when Nate narrows his eyes, locking you in his gaze swatting off all men that ever showed the slightest bit of interest in you.

You broke up for a reason as he was the biggest asshole you had ever met, he was controlling but yet you couldn’t let go. For Nate is a siren drawing you to your untimely death. With a face as pretty as his, he could make the grey thrashing waters appear blue and tranquil. One thing about Nate Jacobs was once you were under his spell it was impossible to escape.

“I mean it Nate, we’re supposed to be over. I can’t move on when you scare off every man who shows me the slightest bit of attention. I’m not yours anymore you have to let me go” you sighed, allowing your head to slump into the plush pillow of your bed. Pinching the bridge of your nose, praying that he actually got the message this time, not continuing this nauseating game of cat and mouse which had been happening for weeks with you always ending up underneath him.

“Babe..” his head nuzzled into the crook of your neck, his arms wrapped protectively over your body. Almost chaining you to the spot, limiting your movements, hoping to silence your following words.

“Nate I mean it. Please you’re going to have to let me go-“ your words were cut short by Nate throwing you out of his embrace, as if your body was a poison that burnt him to touch. He scurried around your room collecting his clothes from the heap on the floor , as when you were both deeply in the throes of lust to care where they ended up, you just needed the clothes off your body as soon as possible.

Nate made a point of crashing his foot upon the wooden floorboards with each step he took, over exaggerating how pissed off he truly was. Like a toddler throwing a temper tantrum.

His eyes couldn’t bare to look at yours, his jaw clenched so tightly together that a vein pulsed on the side of his forehead.

He said nothing as he exited your room, the only sound that broke the deafening silence was the loud slam of your door. You flinched upon hearing the loud slam and the rattle of the metal hinges, he slammed it with such ferocity you were amazed that your door was still in tack.

Safe to say that Nate got the message, he was finally going to leave you alone. You could finally move on, you wanted this right? So why does your heart feel like it’s crumbling into tiny pieces? Why are tears pouring down your face? And why do you feel empty, so incredibly empty and alone?

Y/N: I finally did it, he got the message. I can’t help but feel like I’ve made a mistake

Maddy: honey no, you haven’t made a mistake Nate Jacobs is a toxic asshole. He should of treated you right but he never did, it’s his loss to loose such an amazing person

Lexi: Y/N I agree with Maddie, don’t you ever let him make you feel like this was a mistake. You deserve way better and you can do way better

Y/N: why do I feel like this is a mistake though? I still love him and girls this hurts, this really fucking hurts

Lexi: oh Y/N :( I know it’s hard but you will get through this. I’ll be there in 5

Y/N: Lexi I can’t ask you to do that as you’re going on a date with Fez tonight

Lexi: too late I’m on my way, my girl needs me

Maddy: I’ll be there in 15, Ive snuck a bottle of my parents wine

Y/N: I love you guys so much <;3

The rest of the weekend was spent either pouring your heart out to your two friends, while Maddy continued to pour you drinks to help numb the pain. The pain didn’t lessen as each drink only made the hot tears come down like a torrential down pour. You couldn’t talk without your words becoming slurred by the overwhelming grief you felt for knowing that Nate is officially out of your life, but also from the copious amount of booze Maddy was supplying you with.

The two girls nodded sympathetically when they were needed to be, swigging back the bottle to try to conceal their true emotions about the situation. They were secretly overjoyed that you and that toxic asshole were no more.

They reassured you that it was the best thing to do, Lexi allowing you to curl up on your bed with your head in her lap. She stroked your hair, telling you that it was okay, not caring that your tears was dampening her jeans.

By the following Saturday the two were able to convince you to go to a party, claiming that this is the perfect way to finally get over him.

“Oh my fucking god! Y/N you look stunning!” Maddy gasped as you entered her bedroom, wearing her pastel blue dress , it just about covered your ass and boobs. But then again Maddy wouldn’t wear anything that left anything to the imagination, but if you have even an ounce of the confidence Maddy exudes you would too.

She wondered towards you and sprayed your whole body with a bottle of perfume , you had to take a step back as the floral smell was making you light headed. She moved your chin with her index finger admiring her handy work, she did the most intricate blue eyeliner with stick on pearls to truly accentuate your eyes.

“You look so hot” Maddy smirk lifting a shot glass full of clear liquid to your face. Weakly smiling as you shot back the glass that felt like it could have been filled with straight ethanol from your visceral reaction.

She whipped her phone out from her right pocket, holding you close to her as she angled her phone to capture you both in the most flattering angle. Maddie pouted her lips tilting her head to face yours, so unsure what to do in this situation that you followed precisely what Maddy did. She posted the photo on her story adding a caption saying “single and ready to mingle”

You reposted the photo on your story and not even a second after posting you swiped up out of curiosity to see who had viewed your story, straight away you saw

@nate.jacobs has viewed your story. Rolling your eyes, you threw your phone in your purse. Ready to forget about him for the night.

“You look amazing y/n” Lexi smiled bringing you into her embrace, her arms wrapped tightly around you.

“Thanks lex you too”

“Lex told me about you and Nate, I’m sorry about that. He’s an asshole and I have no problem punching him again if you need to” fez offered as he patted you on the shoulder. His jaw clenched as he said Nate’s name, swallowing down the anger he has for him.

“Thanks fez, as much as I’d love to see him with a bloodied nose again, I don’t think that will be necessary-“

As you finished your sentence it dwindled away into thin air as you locked eyes with Nate, who had his arm tightly wrapped around the shoulders of Cassie. When his eyes met yours, he placed a kiss to Cassie’s temple, as if to wound you for wounding him. He quickly looked away as they both walked towards the kitchen to search for something to drink.

You felt your body shaking in a mixture of anger and despair. Every mussel in your body strained as you were trying to contain yourself from punching Nate yourself.

Fuck you Nate Jacobs!

“Y/N are you okay-“

“Lex did you know?”

“No I didn’t Y/N I swear, I’m so sorry” Lexi desperately called after you but it was too late, as you slammed the front door behind you.

You leant against the side of the house, letting the tears you’ve been holding in slide down your face. You didn’t want to give Nate the satisfaction of seeing you cry.

It was a mistake you showing up tonight

—————————————————————————-

Y/N it’s me Lexi, I firstly want to apologise for losing contact with you after graduation. It was hard with you moving to college and I was dealing with Fez’s arrest and the death of ash. But I saw your mom when I was grocery shopping and she gave me your new number. Me and Fez got engaged, can you believe it? He proposed last week at this fancy restaurant. I wanted to invite you to our engagement party this Saturday. You can bring a plus one if you’re dating someone, I can’t wait to see you as I miss you.

“Who’s that babe?”

“Lexi just texted me, she’s inviting us to her and Fez’s engagement party this Saturday”

“Are you sure that’s a good idea? She’s not exactly my biggest fan” Nate sighed, as he sunk down the couch beside you. Placing his hand on your thigh, rubbing soft circles on the fleshy part of your thigh. He chewed his lip as he was overthinking about every possible way this party could end in disaster.

You were the only one who could vouch that he wasn’t the same Nate Jacobs he was in high school. While they were all left with the bitter taste of his name in their mouths, despising the person he once was.

—————————————————————————-

“Y/N you coming to the graduation party?” Maddy asked, readjusting her cap that tilted to the side of her head, slightly messing up her perfectly styled curls.

“100%”

“Great come to mine for 8, Lexi and I are pregaming before our final ever high school party” Maddie squealed in excitement over the big day, you both are finally going to leave East Highland behind. She pressed her glossed lips on your cheek before running off to get some more pictures before the school kicked you out.

“Y/N can we talk?”

Your body stiffened momentarily, your nostrils flared as you forced yourself to breathe. Rolling your eyes as you prepared yourself to engage in conversation with the one person who you really didn’t want to speak to right now.

“I don’t have anything to say to you” you sighed, not even turning your back to look at him

“Y/N please?” Nate’s voice quivered as he was trying to compose his emotions. He was having an internal battle, he wanted to get on his knees begging for you to hear him out, but his dismissive tough outer exterior was telling him to run away to save his pride.

You turned around to face him, you could feel your eyes prick with tears as you look deep into his.

“What did you want to say?” You tried your damn hardest to sound cold with a dash of hostility, but looking in his eyes opened that part of your heart that you tried to kill. The part of your heart that still loves him. Looking into his deep hazel eyes it brought back all the emotions you tried to suppress.

Nate took a deep breath and swallowed down all the negative thoughts that tried to sway him from confessing how he truly feels. It’s hard when you’ve grew up with an emotionally absent, extremely toxic farther, that it’s hard to express your true emotions. His farther taught him how to only express anger, that men don’t allow themselves to cry, men speak with their fists or with their dicks. Cal was so heavily blinded by toxic masculinity that he couldn’t see the effect it has on his own son, or that he simply didn’t care. The most “love” he ever received from his dad was a pat on his back after he won a football game.

“I’m sorry” he pressed his lips into a thin line, closing his eyes to contain his tears. He felt his breathing hitch, being emotionally vulnerable felt uncomfortable that every part of him was screaming at him not to continue further. But he pushed all this down for you, he loves you and he can’t picture a life where you’re not in it.

“Nate I-“

“Please let me speak, I need to say this now otherwise it will eat me alive till the day I die” Nate choked back a sob as he forced these words out of his mouth.

You looked at him with confusion, you’ve never seen Nate in your whole relationship being so vulnerable as he is right now. You nodded your head, holding your breath awaiting what he had to say.

“I’m truly sorry Y/N. I truly fucked up, I have no excuse for the way I treated you. I can see you walking out of my life and I’m scared, I love you and I’m scared that you hate me. I won’t blame you if you do, I don’t deserve you, you were always too good for me. Ever since I called the cops on my dad, I realised that I’m turning into my worst fear, I’m turning into him. I hurt you so badly and I can’t even look at myself in the mirror. My dad was a worthless piece of shit, I believed that I had to grow in his shadow, I had to be the man he wanted me to be, so I hurt those I love because I’m so used to anger that I don’t know how to express how I feel about you. But I do love you, I love the sound of your laugh, I love waking up next to you, I love how you can make this shitty world okay” Nate’s body convulsed as each sob coursed through his body.

He couldn’t hold his tears back anymore as they slid down his face, he buried his face within his hands, hiding the tears from you. He felt a small sense of humiliation about you seeing him like this, he could hear his father’s voice ringing through his ears telling him how pathetic he was for shedding a single tear. But he didn’t care as right now he could possibly lose the love of his life forever and that scared him more than any tears would.

You looked at him with concern as your heart broke to see him so fragile, his body shaking as his hands muffled the series of ‘please don’t leave me, I love you” escaping from his lips. In your whole relationship you have never seen Nate cry, to the point that you believed that he was incapable of feeling such intense sorrow. In this moment in time you saw the fragile broken side of him that never sees the light of day.

Yes he broke your heart but you still loved him, humanity in itself is never black and white, we’re all intricate human beings with flaws and scars and Nate was no exception to this. He was flawed and broken but he also made you feel like you were the most beautiful person whenever his eyes fell upon you, how he could make all of your problems slip away into thin air whenever you were wrapped in his warm embrace.

Fuck you still loved him!, you were willing to give him a second chance. Sure there’s a lot to work upon to have even an ounce of what you once had, but if Nate was serious about what he had just said he’d gladly put in the work.

“Baby” you called out to him, just as you expected he remained where he was, still trembling with his face buried within his hands.

You stepped towards him and gently peeled back his hands to reveal his tear stained face. He looked at you with his eyes filled heavy with a deep sadness. You wiped away a hot tear that fell down his cheek with your thumb, placing a kiss where the tear used to be.

“Okay, you fucked up badly. You hurt me, but I can’t help but love you. Even when my heart was breaking I still loved you. When I once drunkenly told you that I couldn’t imagine a future without you in it, I still mean every word. But baby if we’re going to work I need you to prove to me that you’d never hurt me this badly again because my heart can’t take another heart break. I want to give us another chance, but please promise me baby that you will do anything to make us work again?”

“I will I promise, I love you Y/N. Thank you, I don’t deserve you” he weakly chuckled as new tears flooded down his cheek. He gently kissed your forehead, as he pulled you into his arms, inhaling your perfume that he had missed for it was the only thing in his life that brought him any form of comfort.

“Don’t make me regret this baby” you whispered

“I would rather die than to ever make that happen” he whispered back to you, placing another tender kiss against your forehead. Smiling for the first time in days that the love of his life was finally back in his arms.

———————————————————————————

Lexi sighed as she got Fez to rearrange the silver banner which read ‘happy engagement’ for what felt like the hundredth time.

“A little to your left Fez, it’s still off centre” she groaned, massaging the stress out of her temples.

“Look angel , no one is going to care if the banner isn’t exactly central” Fez groaned, his back is aching from arching it to place the banner exactly where his fiancé wanted it.

“Why don’t you get yourself a glass of rosé and try to relax?” He soothed, massaging her shoulders that became raised from her over thinking. He kissed the side of her cheek as he felt her shoulders release.

“I know, it’s just that I want tonight to be perfect, everyone will be here. Plus Y/N will be here who I haven’t seen in forever, sorry babe it’s just that it’s been a lot of stress for me” she pouted, chewing on the inside of her cheek from overthinking the entire party.

“I know angel, but trust me tonight is going to be great. And fuck it if it’s not for I’m finally engaged to the hottest woman I have ever met who made me the luckiest man in the entire world” Fez smiled as he turned Lexi to look at him, he lifted her head to look at him as he brought her Into a passionate kiss.

“I love you” Lexi breathed after she had to pull away from the lack of oxygen to her lungs

“I love you too”

The two lovers were interrupted by a loud knock at the door, the person behind the door was growing impatient by the second as the door was rattling against its hinges.

Lexi rolled her eyes, growing more frustrated by the person’s persistence. When she opened the door she was met by her sister wearing a skin tight baby pink dress, barely covering her ass.

“Wow Cas you look good?” Lexi stuttered upon seeing her older sister so dolled up, Lexi snickered as she joked, “dressing for anyone special?”

“Nate could be here” Cassie smirked as she soothed down the limiting fabric of her dress

“Excuse me?”

“Last thing I heard was that Y/N dated Nate in college, if by some miracle that they’re still together, I’ll show him what he’s been missing” Cassie stated, as she flipped her blonde hair over her shoulders making a beeline for the kitchen for something to drink.

Fez noticed how Cassie flounced in here without acknowledging the two hosts or why the party was arranged in the first place. He rolled his eyes as he brought his beer to his lips.

“Remind me why you invited her?”

“She’s my sister, plus she’s delusional that Nate will be here” Lexi groaned also rolling her eyes, they say that you can’t choose your family but it’s moments like this that Lexi wish that she could

Plus her sister was full of shit, there was no way that you would ever give Nate Jacobs a second chance right?

As more guest arrived they all congratulated the happy couple and wished them both a lifetime of happiness.

Rue stood in the corner listening to Kat as she told her about her newest work in progress. Rue is gladly 7 years sober from all substances, she’s done so well that she now helps out at the local clinics that once saved her life. Rue rarely dated after her relationship with Jules, needing to find her feet and especially within her sobriety. She had finally healed the relationship with her mom and younger sister.

Kat on the other hand became a successful author, writing about steamy erotic stories which soon made her the best selling author of that genre. Fans go wild over her books, claiming her to be the queen of smut. Kat finally found the confidence she thought that she lost in herself and for once was truly happy in her skin.

Ethan spent a large majority of the party catching up with Lexi as he just came back from tour. Unsurprisingly Ethan found his love of acting through being in Lexi’s iconic play. He studied at Juilliard where he became an up and coming Broadway talent, he recently came off tour with Dear Evan Hansen and was happy to be home for a few days. Though he has been avoiding Kat all throughout the party like the plague, some wounds will never heal.

Jules arrived to the party with Kat who were still good friends and kept in touch regularly. Jules became a therapist helping queer and trans kids, she became an activist for trans rights and in result gained a huge Instagram following. Jules used what she went through in the past to help those she can, believing that no one should experience the trauma she had faced alone.

Cassie stood leaning against the wall watching the door like a hawk, every few minutes readjusting her hair or applying another layer of

Gloss, determined that Nate was going to walk through that door. Lexi and Cassie’s relationship was rocky, but for the sake of the family Lexi invited her here tonight.

Lexi felt her heart drop as she checked the time on her phone, you were officially an hour late. The guilt started to eat her alive as she twirled the pretty diamond ring that laid upon her finger. She drummed her fingers against her thigh trying to relieve her anxiety that was raging through her body. Her brain went into overdrive, imagining all the ways that you probably hate her for loosing touch. She kept on staring at the wooden frame praying for it to knock at any second.

———————————————————————————

“Okay you can choose one toy each” Nate stated at Harrison, Noah and Lilly who were sat crossed legged on the floor of their playroom with multiple toys strewn around the room.

“But daddy Rosie needs Daisy” Lilly pouted as she held up two princess dolls from the same set, she gave Nate her best puppy dog eyes and quivered her bottom lip.

It took Nate less than five seconds to cave into Lilly’s cute pouting face which made his heart melt. Nate swears that she gets it from her mother. Lilly truly was Nate’s little princess and dangerously he was wrapped around her little finger.

“Fine” Nate sighed “only two”

The three kids let out a laughter of glee as they reached for another toy.

“Are you ready to go?” You asked resting your head in the crook of Nate’s neck, wrapping your arms around him pulling him closer to you. It must be your hormones or Nate’s irresistible nature that made this pregnancy resulting in yourself to be attached to his hip, you became more clingier but Nate found that adorable. Especially when you pouted at him if he hasn’t given you enough affection, Nate wouldn’t change it for the world for he had the life he dreamt about, a beautiful wife and 3 happy healthy children with one more on the way

———————————————————————————

Lexi felt her heart flew out of her chest when she heard a knock at the door. She squealed loudly as she passed her glass to Fez, who was looking at his fiancé with a bewildered expression from her sudden outburst. Her body shaking with delight as she practically launched herself at the door.

Maddy saw Lexi’s commotion and quickly followed suit with her face beaming over the thought of seeing you again.

“I missed you-“

The two women’s eyes grew wide as they looked at your stomach that was carrying your fourth child. Lexi cupped her hands over her mouth and squealed again in delight.

“Congratulations Y/N who’s the lucky guy?”

“My husband-“

“Oh my god! You’re married?” Maddy smiled as she wrapped her arms around you in a tight hug, but not tight enough as she was weary of your bump. Maddy was overjoyed that you are finally in a healthy relationship ever since the shit show her and Lexi had to endure in high school, the two were so used to seeing you in tears with a broken heart. It warms her heart that you look happier and you were practically glowing, pregnancy really did suit you.

Lexi shared the same feeling of elation for you but she was momentarily sad when she found out that you were married, not that she wasn’t happy for you but she wished that she could of been their to celebrate your big day with you. Well at least you can now attend hers.

3 kids came running up behind you, your twins Harrison are Noah were 7 while Lilly was 5. Lexi and Maddy waved at the three kids, gushing about how cute they were and how much they all looked like their mom. Both women were crouched down listening intently as each kid introduced their toys to them, laughing as Lexi and Maddy shook their hands and welcomed the extra guests to the party.

When Maddy looked up to you, her smiled faltered as she choked on the air overcome with shock from who just appeared and placed a kiss on your cheek. Lexi looked at Maddie eyes wide with confusion till she turn to look in the same direction, Lexi rapidly started blinking not fully processing what she’s just witnessed.

You and Nate Jacobs were still together! Not only that but you were married to him with kids.

None of the pieces were adding up in their heads, they were completely baffled by the entire encounter. Last time they saw you, you were crying over him hating him for breaking your heart. So what the hell has changed for you to look totally infatuated by him?

—————————————————————————-

After you graduated from university Nate proposed with a beautiful delicate diamond ring. Saying that you were the love of his life and the only one for him.

You both had a small private wedding reserved for only close family and friends, for you wanted your big day to be spent with those who you loved. You did wish that Lexi and Maddy could be there but you all loss contact so it was impossible to contact them.

You both moved far away from LA as possible, both wanting a fresh start and especially when Cal was allegeable for parole. Nate wanted to be far away from him as possible, especially a few months after the wedding you fell pregnant with twins. Nate wanted to live somewhere safe with his family and to be the farther he never got to your twins (and Lilly who came two years later and baby Jamie who is now on the way).

He became a football coach at the local high school and you worked in the art department. It was sweet that you both worked in the same place which meant that you could have cute lunch dates together away from your kids as much as you loved them.

Nate was a great farther he was nothing like his dad, he was kind and patient. Completely different to his former high school self, where he didn’t know how to communicate his emotions. They built up inside of him till it came out into this fiery rage that could make anyone’s blood run cold, so unused to feel love so when he felt it he felt like he needed to push them away as he believed he was unworthy of feeling such a thing.

Seeing the way he was acting was hurting you, the love of his life. Watching you nearly walk out of his life was the worst pain he had ever felt, it felt suffocating, like every part of him was breaking. That he knew he had to change, and he wanted to change if it meant that he could keep you in his life.

Yes it was hard for him to begin with but he slowly let down his guard, the one his farther installed in him to make him ‘more of a man’ even though it made him seem cold. He started to let you in, he started to communicate about his feelings rather than to wait till they reached boiling point.

Nate was a doting husband, he brought you flowers every Friday and hires a sitter just so you two can have your regular date nights. He loved you with all his heart and never missed an opportunity to show that to you. You were both finally happy. —————————————————————————-

“I can’t believe he’s changed?” Lexi exclaimed lifting her glass to her lips, still in complete shock over what she’s just heard.

“I love you Y/N but he was a dick in high school I’m having a hard time believing that he’s such a loving husband” Maddy added watching in amazement as Nate sat with his children on the floor. Laughing with them and joining in their make believe game, watching as Lilly giggled with glee as her dad gently kissed her on the cheek.

“I know if I wasn’t married to him I’d have a hard time believing that too. But I truly couldn’t ask for a better husband, the smallest things make me nauseous nowadays. So Nate now carries water, mints and ginger tea incase I need it”

“Stop it that is too cute” Maddie gasped.

Both her and Lexi shared a look, maybe they were both wrong about Nate Jacobs? Seeing you so content ,watching how good he is with the kids and how he looks at you like you are the most beautiful girl in the world (which caused Cassie to roll her eyes and huff in annoyance seeing how in love with you he was). Nate Jacobs was your perfect match.

“So Y/N I wanted to ask if you would be my maid of honour at my wedding”

“Oh my god Lexi, yes I will” you smiled as you quickly pulled her into a warm embrace.

“I need my best friend there on my big day and it wouldn’t be the same without you”

They say that the best love is fast and intense, maybe that was true to your high school self. But the true, real kind of love was consistent and giving, forever holding onto that initial spark. Now you know exactly what that love felt like as you found that in Nate.

A/N: I hope that you enjoyed this fic. I’d had to make Ethan an actor especially after his incredible performance as Nate in the play. He also gives me dear Evan Hansen vibes I don’t know why. My requests are still open and I’m currently working through all of them