#our worst moments dont make us monsters -Anya

[n3cr0freak]

"You're romanticizing a d-d-darkship! That means you t-think it's okay. " No dumbass it's still just fiction. I don't want my abuser x victim content to be justttt angstt, man. Where's the cuddling that makes the victim think it'll all be okay for a while? Where's them kissing under a mistletoe? Where's my bbg Stockholm syndrome fics?

AHH, I NEED SOME SICKLY SWEET. "It'll be okay for a moment" FICS. I NEED THAT TWISTED AFTERCARE THATS ONLY GIVEN TO MANIPULATE THE VICTIM. I NEED THAT BITTERSWEET FEELING. EVEN BETTER I NEED THE VICITM HOLDING THE ABUSER AFTER AN ACT OF VIOLENCE, JUST THE VICTIM COMFORTING THEM LIKE "I forgive you my love its okay i dont hate you for what you did" AHDDHDBS

(I'm going to crash out)

[catmask]

tbh the longer u think about polle being a vessel/mouthpiece for anyas pain (like bro their text colors r the SAME COLOR. in a game that assigns everyone unique text colors) and her hatred/resentment toward jimmy and the fact that would mean hes aware of what he did to her on a subconscious level and haunted by it (literally personifying it as a giant pursuing monster) and yet he STILL refuses to regard her as a human being. filling her in his mind as a mascot

the 'ive found myself sexually attracted to cartoon horses'

the fact that anya places her sleeping bag underneath polles statue, who is motion activated... likely as a way to protect herself...

the final speech polle gives. 'poor you. caged and alone'

and importantly. when jimmy tries to throw anyas words back in her face - 'our worst moments dont make us monsters-' polle cuts him off. 'HOLD ON! WAIT A MINUTE! if thats true... why are you still so concerned with HIM' accusatorially... like THATS who you feel sorry for? THATS what you think your worst moment was?

anyway sometimes the relationship between a woman who deserved better and a little cartoon horse mascot is so beautiful. to ME

[risetherivermoon]

am i the only one who thinks that Anya wouldn't actually be mad with Curly about what he did. Like I think some part of her deep down is angry about it, that he didn't help her like he said he would, but i also don't think she's actively blaming him for it.

I personally believe Curly was at fault for not taking responsibility and doing something about what Jimmy did to her. But i feel like characterization wise she wouldn't uphold him to such a standard, that she'd lose trust in him to an extent, but not enough that she'd hate him. I don't know if I'm explaining this right,

basically I just always feel strange whenever i see people depicting Anya as being resentful towards Curly after the crash, i believe she holds the blame on Jimmy alone, and once Curly has become bedridden and disabled, she focuses on helping him and doing her job. She and him were close friends, enough that she did trust him with the information that Jimmy assaulted her, she still cares.

something about the line: (which she says specifically about Curly) "I have to believe our worst moments don't make us monsters" flying over peoples heads when it comes to her characterization

i do think it's hard to figure out a way to characterize Anya in a light that is justifying, especially since in canon we aren't exactly given a good perspective on her. Curly is the closest we get to that, but he isn't that reliable of a source either when it comes to her (thats a whole other post tho)

but I don't think she'd be hateful, even to someone who has wronged her. I don't think she's weak or small, don't get me wrong, but with the way we are shown how much empathy she has for Curly (with her being unable to give him meds because it makes her nauseous with how it hurts him, and with the quote about Curly's worst moments)...i just dont see it

i can see the appeal of having victims resent and be able to stand up for themselves when it comes to their abusers (in Jimmy's case) and people who supported them, (as in Curly) but I just personally don't see that with Anya. And just because you aren't angry or outwardly standing up to the abuse you go through, doesn't mean that you are weak.

Anya isn't weak, but she's empathetic and in a situation that could only end badly for her. She's also a kind person, and a nurse. I don't think violence or anger are her go-tos

[ouellette]

HELP MEEEE THIS IS SO FUCKING FUNNY im so glad someone understands tho shes been plaguing my thoughts for days

anya mouthwashing reminds me of what a "normal" clocky would be like....

[scikeyuri]

i feel like if anya killed jimmy she would be horrified with herself and have be in mental turmoil over it. this is the woman who is always reiterating our worst moments dont make us monsters she would not be all apathetic girlboss about it

[smolbonhomme2neige]

MOUTHWASHING SPOILERS

do you think that because curly said he'd do anything to help Anya she believes he crashed the ship as to help her hence why she says "our worst moments dont make us monsters" she thought it was specifically aimed at helping her

[verdantwyrm]

Hello dumb anon once again here,

Towards the end of the game when jimmy talks to the polle mascot and when the mascot says 'wait a minute! Hold on! If all of that is true, then why are you so concerned with him?'

is polle talking about curly? But when did jimmy express that he was concerned with curly? And what does him being concerned with curly have to do with the legitimacy of what jimmy is trying to say? His apology? When polle cuts him off when he tries to say 'our worst moments don't make us monsters'.

Just trying to figure what polle meant, thank you! You're a life saviour.

Hi Anon! Again, theres absolutely no worries in asking.

When Polle says that, he's directly referring to Curly. Here, Jimmy uses Anya's sentiments (the line about our worst moments dont make us monsters) to either refer to himself or Curly, he's using her words to apologise to Curly when it should be him apologising to Anya, or Polle in this case.

Polle is on this spectrum of a stand in for Anya and a representive of the baby, a constant haunting presence in Jimmy's mind as the game furthers on, and this scene can be interpeted as way of Jimmy's subconcious trying to get him to reckon with his actions, take responsibility and apologise to the person who deserves it the most; Anya.

But instead he takes HER own words and uses it to apologise to Curly. Once again completely ignoring and straight up refusing to acknowledge the fact that he hurt Anya at all. Anya showing up in his mind as Polle is also a reference to how Jimmy continuously dehumanisezes her, he doesn't take her seriously, doesn't respect her or see her as anything other than an intianimate object, something not living, something not deserving or worthy of an apology because Jimmy never hurt her, so there is no apology to be made. (which is also shown by how clean her ID is compared to the others)

Polle saying "wait a minute! Hold on! If all of that is true, then why are you so concerned with him?" is Polle (Anya in this case) asking if the sentiment of our worst moments doesn't make us monsters, why is he only ever trying to apologise to Curly? Why at the end of everything and all the harm and destruction he's caused, only ever concerned about apologising to Curly and absolutely no one else. Jimmy's concerns have always been with him, he's genuinely obsessed with Curly and constantly goes out of his way to hurt everyone around him for some ulterior benefit.

For example, when Anya locks herself in Medical, Jimmy's only literal concern is "She's going to hurt Curly"

Nothing else, not the safety of her, nor the supplies, not even trying to align up to Daisuke's concerns about Anya, no he insists and tries to paint the situation that Anya is going to hurt or kill Curly. Then we also have the scene where he feeds Curly his own leg, convincing himself that Curly will thank him for this "later" justifying his own actions to be good and taking responsibility In some way.

Hopefully this makes sense! Albeit a harder scene to disect since there's a lot more contextual stuff which relies on understanding Curly and Jimmy's relationship and Anya's constant dehumanization through Jimmy's POV. You are not dumb Anon! I'm always happy to explain stuff °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°

[mouthwashingconfessionsblog]

i love curlanya and idgaf!!! their personalities work well together and they could absolutely make each other better. curly could learn to be less of a people pleaser and enabler of other peoples shitty behaviours, anya could learn to take a step back and relax instead of constantly studying and only taking breaks when she really needs to, they would be absolutely amazing together and they would work through everything that jimmy did to them both.

i am of the firm belief that curly would feel intense remorse for letting jimmy hurt anya, and anya would understand that even if she didnt forgive him straight away. if he learned not to people please so much she would absolutely forgive him. she literally says “our worst moments dont make us monsters” she would forgive him if he changed!!!!! they could be so good together sorry yall

.

[fictionkinfessions]

im sorry daisuke im sorry swansea im sorry curly. hell, im sorry jimmy...

i was the catalyst for it all. it was my own selfish need for relief that made daisuke take that risk, that made him get mangled like that. it was my fault swansea got shot because if i had been a better, tougher nurse and person they would still be alive. i was the one who left curly to probably die, alone. i was the one who took my own life in front of my poor, poor captains eyes....

you didnt deserve that, none of you. not even jimmy, because you know what? our worst moments dont make us monsters.

except for me, maybe. it was awful to just... leave them all to suffer.

im sorry everyone.

-anya mouthwashing fictive

2

[liliennacht]

Getting sick of the Implication that Curly told both Anya and Jimmy that „Our worst moments dont make us Monsters“

In regards to Anya so that she forgives her Abuser and for Jimmy so that he can use it to justify to himself that he isn’t actually that bad of a guy

[elfdyke]

i think the best portrayal of anya being cruel in any form is that comic where she's looking down at curly and says "now you know how it feels.... im sorry. that was cruel" LIIIIKE. the hate rising up in her only to be quelled by her good nature and belief in humanity?! OKAAAY. OUR WORST MOMENTS DONT MAKE US MONSTERS!!

definitely not The Worst fan content ive seen, but not really a huge fan of people portraying anya as violently enacting revenge against jimmy... i get the whole rape revenge trope is appealing in its own way, and i love when a woman gets unhinged and violent... but i feel like its such a core part of anya that she never punches down...? curlys totally at her mercy, she thinks he's completely responsible for the crash and knows he did nothing to help her with the jimmy situation/enabled jimmy... and yet she feels sick at the sound of curlys suffering, and cant even bear to force the medicine down his throat, presumably the necessary violence and force reminding her of her own assault. its just a little crazy to meeeee. shes not violent shes not cruel shes a victim who should never have been put in the position she was in, and then was forced to experience such a crazy unique hell. i just dont find it very appealing for her specifically as a character!

[scikeyuri]

yknow i think wrong organ should really fix the bug where whenever anya says "our worst moments dont make us monsters" and it apparently makes the player go blind and deaf anytime its on screen. or at least thats what i assume seeing some of the stuff people have said in this fandom.

[buni-gutz]

there's also the absolute tragedy of anya. i cant help but think of "i have to believe our worst moments dont make us monsters" as referring to jimmy. she doesn't want to see her crewmate, someone she has worked with for years (im guessing) as a monster. and i think this contributed to what killed her. she just couldn't take it anymore. she wants so badly to believe jimmy is not a monster, and when she can't get herself to believe it, i think she hated herself so much for hating her 'friend' that she couldn't bear living with it.

i love whatever the fuck mouthwashing has with it's "take responsibility" thing.

for most of the game, you are left believing that curly crashed the ship. despite the fact we are playing the very character who actually did. and we have jimmy's lil rant about how he has to do everything. about how he has to do everything, about how he needs to be responsible.

yet he cannot take responsibility for shit! he lies and says curly caused the crash. he specifically caused the crash because he raped anya, and then found out she was pregnant. he is so uncaring to his crewmates, and directly puts daisuke in danger. he never apologizes for it either. he's the reason for absolutely everything bad that happened. from anya's pregnancy to the entire crew dying. he caused every single thing.

the whole point of jimmy is that he can't take responsibility. he has a facade of responsibility (take the position of captain after the crash, deal with fetch quests, give curly his fucking meds), but he can not truly be responsible. he will never truly own up to what he did. even in his death. it was all just to escape real responsibility. it was all just to escape the truth of his actions. that he is a terrible person.