#our true texan cowboy

[hereforf1]

Also?!?!? RIGHT BEFORE TEXAS????? HOW DARE THEY 😤😤😤😤😤😤

[fandomination666-blog]

As someone who lives in Texas (unfortunately) I find it SO FUNNY when people make keith overwhelmingly southern. Like, cmon yall. Texas history 101, the cowboy era ended a long ass time ago, most of us DONT wear cowboy hats anymore. Why the fuck would keith ride a horse???? Nobody does that unless they own horses??? And horses are incredibly expensive???

Like, I understand cowboy aus, and historical aus, but if Texas, in 2024, isn't like that (the stereotypes are so wild) then why would it be like that in approx 2314?

Very few wear cowboy hats or boots. Very few have horses, and NOBODY rides them to school, ffs. Keith is not a farmhand.

Some texas stereotypes that are true, however...

-yeah we say yall nonstop

-ain't, wouldja, couldn't've, etc.

-confederate flag is less common here, normally you see the "come and take it" or the "don't tread on me"

-if keith ever went to public school, 1/3 of his classmates or more are Latino

-most Texans know moderate amounts of Spanish

-we celebrate Cinco de Mayo, and most ppl think it's Mexican independence day (it's not)

-barbecue.

-chili WITHOUT BEANS YOU HEATHEN

-will fight over food, family, or football

-either you support the Dallas Cowboys or the Houston Texans. Any other team is sacrilege. Once you make this choice, it WILL have effects on your social life.

-football is basically king here lol, none of the other stuff in school gets nearly the funding

-people living in rural areas (like Keith's dad) often own guns, and not pistols either-- rifles and shotguns, usually

-NOBODY SAYS YEEHAW. at least not unironically

-Texans will ironically say yeehaw, rootin-tootin, etc bc we are aware of our history and think it's wack

-were not all racist, but everyone knows at least one person who is (usually an older family member)

-mind your gotdamn manners at the table. Get those elbows away from your food

-sir and ma'am for strangers

-open doors for old people. You don't have to be a man to do this.

-please and thank you is SO important, people will assume things about you otherwise

-if you don't have a church, you miss out on a lot of community (coming from a non-religious person)

-most people here are Baptist, on that note (Hispanic people contribute to the Catholic population, but still, Baptist is #1)

-internet service is awful unless you're in a city

-we WILL close all schools for 2 inches of snow/ice

-we laugh at hurricanes, and then do our best to help our Houston neighbors

-but everybody hates Houston and Dallas, unless you live there

-most people are okay with Austin, San Antonio, etc

-EL PASO IS TINY, AND HALF OF IT IS IN MEXICO (and is called Ciudad Juárez there)

-beer is god. And God has no problem with drinking. (According to beliefs here)

-gambling is illegal here, but we love it, so states like Oklahoma have built casinos RIGHT ON THE STATE BORDER so that we can drive a bit and gamble as we please

-everybody's dad drives a truck. Otherwise people assume he's got a small pp

[lonelywriter10]

REPOST - Sandy Baby

Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x Reader (Is referred to as Sandy)

Blurb- Falling for your best friend is hard, but its harder when you think you'll never have a chance with him

(GIF not mine all credits go to the owner.)

Jake Seresin had been my best friend for years, the witty Texan never failing to leave me smiling. And it had been this way for a long time, it felt comfortable, almost as if this was the way it should always be. 

I had known that I loved Jake Seresin from the summer we turned 15, the days had been hot, our time spent at the beach. I hadn’t remembered a time where we weren’t together during the holidays, we always just did. 

That summer more girls had looked his way, the 15 year old Jake Seresin had filled out quite a bit, his charm and sarcasm had expanded considerably and his gentleman-like behaviour never faltered. I remember the fluttering in my stomach as he held me by the waist as Jake threw me in the water and the sound of his laughter as I tried to pull him down with me, the soft smile Jake gave me when our faces levelled. That was the Jake Seresin I loved.

Still loved. 

I stood at the entrance of the bar, my eyes on his figure, the Military had done him a favour, his muscles more defined, his skin was sun kissed and his hair neatly done up. So the girl on his arm made a lot of sense. 

I felt my heart beat falter slightly, I choked on a breath as I backed towards the door, I caught the eyes of Bradley as they widened in realisation. 

I stepped back out into the cool salty air, my arms heavy from the cake and balloons I held, ready to surprise my best friend for his birthday. I began the walk back to my truck as I thought about what happened and what didn’t happen. I placed everything back in the back seat, looking at it all as a reminder of  a wasted idea. 

I heard heavy footsteps approach me, I turned and looked at Bradley as he offered a small smile. “Hey Brad.” I didn’t trust my voice, I didn't trust myself. 

“Hey doll, come here.” I felt the arms of Bradley wrap around me as I let out the tears I had been holding back. “I know, I know.” His voice cooed softly as he rubbed my back, Bradley knew about my love for Jake, everyone knew except for him. 

I pulled back as I wiped my eyes. “I wouldn’t have come if I had known, I told myself I wasn’t in love with him anymore, heaven knows I tried to convince myself it was true.” My voice cracked with each word. 

I chuckled and fiddled with my keys. “He’s an idiot, he loves you, I know he does.” I shook my head at Bradley’s words. “Brad, he doesn’t, Jake Seresin is not held down, no matter how much his mama asks him when he’s going to settle down, he won't.” I kiss my teeth before pulling on the door handle of my truck. “This was a mistake, this whole thing was a big fuckin mistake” I start the engine and begin reversing when I see a couple run out from behind the truck, the guy running over to my window. I groaned before looking out the window when I was met with the eyes of none other than Jake Seresin.  “Fuck.” I mutter before opening my window. “What the hell Sandy?” I rolled my eyes internally at the use of the nickname now leaving a sour taste in my mouth.

“Happy birthday Cowboy.” Sarcasm dripped off my words as I refused to look at him. I heard Jake scoff before continuing into an extensive lecture, a normal person would’ve listened and cared but the stubborn bull in me wanted to punch him and drive off. “What the hell has gotten into you Sandy? You don’t return my texts or calls, next I hear you’re in Texas? I thought we were friends?!” his tone was pleading, his eyes soft as they met mine. 

I looked and saw his date standing there waiting for him, her words soft as she pulled on his arm gently. “Jakey, it's fine, let's just go.” Jakey

I watched him take one final look at me before walking away, a single tear fell down my cheek as I reversed my truck and sped away. 

Fuck

Jake 

Seresin.

Cowboy 

I ignored the call as I had been for the last two months, since his birthday I had continued to ignore Jake in an effort to ease my broken heart. I barely heard from the dagger squad, except for Bradley who came by to check on me 

“He’s broken without you, he’s not sleeping, not eating.” Bradley’s words came across in a whisper, Jake had become a subject we tried not to discuss, no one quite understood why I didn’t want to talk to Jake. 

Not even Bradley. 

“I don’t know Brad, I’m done falling in love with a man who can’t seem to get his head on the right way.” A knock at the door pulled me away from my thoughts, the sound frantic and urgent. “I gotta go Brad, I'll talk to you later.” The line went dead as I walked over, my hand reaching to grab the doorknob when I heard a voice on the other side. “Sandy please!” The desperate pleas of Jake came from the other side. My heart pounded in my ears as I froze. “Please Sandy open the door.” 

I felt my body stiffen at the sound of his voice, was I ready for this? 

“Please, I'm sorry.” The sounds of his fist on the door had stopped, now it was only the sound of his voice.I closed my eyes and leaned against the door, listening to Jake’s voice. “I can’t Sandy, we were so close but now we barely talk, you don’t pick me up anymore, we don’t spend my Saturdays off cooking, I just miss you like hell Sandy.” I could hear his voice breaking, I placed my hand on the doorknob slowly twisting it. Call it instinct but I don’t know what possessed me to open the door, but I just did. 

I didn’t recognise Jake standing before me, his eyes red, his hair a mess and his clothes clearly not clean. My heart broke at the sight of him before me. 

“Jake..” “That’s not my name sweetheart, you know that’s not my name.” His pleads were desperate, an attempt to fix us, us. 

The barrier was still up, I wanted to trust him, but I didn't want to let Jake break my heart again, not again. 

“Please Sweetheart, don’t shut me out, don't pretend I haven’t known you since we were just lil kids.” I listened to his words, closing my eyes as I felt my chest grow heavy. “I have been an idiot, I was scared to lose you.” 

Was it shame? Was it anger? Was it relief that I felt? I genuinely didn’t know and that was what frustrated me as I looked at Jake. “To lose me? Jake I don’t think I’ve ever been with a person more than I’ve been with you, from being young children who were neighbours to now two strangers.” I struggle to stand still as his gaze pierces through my soul. “I let you break my heart over and over again and for what? For me to cry to my mama about the little blonde boy I grew up with, the one I decided I was going to marry when I was five?” I feel my bottom lip quiver as I continue speaking. “The problem is that you are the only one I would let break my heart continuously because my heart is only yours to break, there is no one else I’d love the way  I love you.” 

I wrap my arms around my body as I look at Jake, finally meeting his eyes. I took a shaky breath as I waited for him to talk, to say something, anything. 

“I didn’t know.” He croaked out. “Sandy please forgive me, please I didn’t know.” 

“Why?Why come back?” My voice was shaky, my cheeks wet from my tears. 

A heavy silence hung between us, his mouth a gape but no words were spoken. 

“You can stand at my door and say you miss me, you need me, it's not the first time.” I took a deep breath to stop the shakiness to my voice. “But I am done Jake, I am done l don’t want to cry anymore, it’s either you love me or you don't.” Jake looked at me, his eyes searching through my own. 

I waited for his response, words failed the both of us as we stood in the entrance to my apartment. 

I saw a few tears fall down Jake’s cheeks before he spoke. “I love you, I love you so much it hurts and I can't be the man you need, you deserve better than me.” His voice cracked with each word he spoke. 

“You could date Bradley, Bob, anyone but me because I am not good enough for you! And I tried, I tried to make it easier for us both, I thought if I dated other women I’d be able to push the feelings away so you could go on but I just couldn’t darlin.” 

I looked at Jake, to me he was still that sun kissed 15 year old, the one I fell helplessly in love with. 

The man before me had come back and left his heart for me. 

Did I want it?

“I can walk away, I’ll leave right now if you tell me to but don’t tell me you don't feel it too, that you don’t feel the attraction between us, to be quite honest darlin, there is no one else I’ll love quite the way I love you.” Jake stepped closer to me, the scent of his cologne filled the air surrounding us.

Us

There was only us in this moment.

“Jake I-”

His lips crashed into mine, Jake grabbed my face in his hands as he continued to kiss me. 

Pulling us closer together as he moves his hands to my waist, holding me in a way I had only imagined in my wildest dreams. 

He broke away first, pressing our foreheads together as we caught our breath. 

“Please darlin, don't make me leave.” 

“Stay then, please stay Jake.” 

“Only for you Sandy.”

[mightntbethebest]

cutely asks you to elaborete on your st oc

Holy fuck I forgot inboxes were a thing, sorry I accidentally ignored this

Song/VIII lore!

Physical description? [Haven't drawn him in a hot minute]

- Song is 32!

- He's 5'8. Shortass.

- Dark brown hair, he's rocking the curly mullet every hillbilly has now.

- Tired, brown eyes,

- Snake bite piercings

- Burn scarred skin from the watchtower.

- Various tattoos, some relating to Sleep.

- Elk horns. Yeah. He just gets progressively more cryptic as his time in Eden goes on.

---

Backstory?

He grew up absolutely in love with nature, hunting, and pretty much every country boy hobby out there. He has a sibling we know as Veris [Who belongs to @that-unfortunate-crow 👍]

Song was a camp counselor in his teenage years, went on to be a park ranger.

When he first started his job, allegedly, a couple of teens thought it would be a grand prank to set fire to the watchtower. The blaze caught Song right in the middle. I like to imagine this was how Sleep found him / How he found Sleep?

During that fire he technically died, but Sleep kept him from fully going into the afterlife.

From there he got caught up in the cult we all know and love, and went missing. [To this day he is still considered a cold case by the Missing 411 foundation.]

Before being taken by Sleep, Song struggled with religion, knowing there was at least a semblance of a god out there.

The source of his name was Vessel. When Song finally woke up and learned where he was, he forgot his name [Luke Hernandez] The first time the two sat down to actually get to know each other, Song was playing the guitar, and Vessel gave VIII his new name.

---

Extra!

He has an American Saddlebred horse named Benny, and a German Sheperd/Boxer mix named Loki. [In honor of our dog, Loki, who recently passed]

Song is absolutely terrified of Ghosts and Demons. He doesn't rock with them devils and spirits.

When he's not dressed like the most basic Texan cowboy out there, he's rocking his navy blue tactical uniform or Park Ranger uniform.

Me and Crow were talkin and came up with the idea that conspiracy/true crime youtubers have done videos on his disappearance, and he doesn't know about them. Veris does, Song doesn't.

[Veris Hernandez is fucking hilarious to me by the way]

His firewatch tower was called Tower Eight, because I'm so funny.

[beyondthisdarkhouse]

I saw you are reading Young Men and Fire -- it is possibly the best non-fiction book I've ever read. MacLean has also written other memoirs and short stories that are just as lyrical and beautiful but less harrowing

My god, is it harrowing. I'm kind of reading it because during certain moods, my brain requires dark nonfiction to chew over. It's like grit that absorbs ambient anxiety and keeps it from getting up to mischief.

(Previous reads in this category include Under the Banner of Heaven by John Krakauer, No Visible Bruises by Rachel Louise Snyder, and 100:1 The Crack Legacy by Christopher Johnson. I think most people use true crime for this, but what my brain really wants is stories about systems.)

It's also... strangely, painfully good to read about my kind of place, and the beauty and horrors in it. I'm from hundreds of km north of Montana, but I also grew up moving around that transition zone, from prairie to forest, from flatland to mountain. It's where my heart is.

And a lot of my early... damage, I guess? Is from just how brutal it is, to be so much alone, in the face of all these elements that want to kill you. It actually goes back generations, because my family have all been scarred with their own different ways of coping with it. My parents, my grandparents, their grandparents.

There's a part in James Keelaghan's song about the Mann Gulch Fire (Cold Missouri Waters) that just says: "Too big to fight it/we'll fight it from the ridge instead" that just expresses how it feels sometimes, to know that the enormity of the elements are lining up to kill you, and nothing you do probably matters, but also, your entire life depends on what you do next.

I've never faced anything so intense as a crowning wildfire, but I've had other experiences--cutting my leg on a barbed-wire fence and having to walk home before I could do anything about it, capsizing a boat on a cold May day and being unable to right it and sincerely believing I was going to die from hypothermia--that stem partly from having to know what mistakes will put me at risk of really dying.

And it isn't malice, and it isn't exactly neglect or a failure on the part of the authorities, and you can spend so many years numbly accepting the inevitability of death that when someone says, "Actually, I think this kind of death isn't inevitable, so let's declare these deaths unacceptable and go to war against them" they sound absolutely crazy.

But I've also been on the side of declaring many types of deaths unacceptable instead of inevitable, and been the madman in the wilderness, and made real change. Young Men and Fire is all about that.

It's also really nice to see something that speaks with a long-familiar accent I've never really seen typologized or emulated accurately. A voice that sounds like a bunch of cowboys gathered around a fire as night turns blue, sharing their griefs and woes and philosophies, pulling together Scots and German and Texan flavour to their English, more Chinook Wa-Wa than they realize. It's my second accent, the one I can't consciously switch into, but do when someone at an Edmonton bus station asks to bum a smoke off me and all I have to give is a bus ticket, or when I'm at a livestock show and I want to ask someone if that steer is a Limousin or just a pale Red Angus and I want them to assume I understand about cattle breeds and reply without giving a five-minute preamble on animal husbandry to the kooky city lady first.

It doesn't surprise me that it's an accent shared by woodsmen of the mountains; MacLean's people and mine are not distinct entities, but an intertwined community of people who are trying to live on this land that owns us but is never really ours.

[daidi-dragan-glas]

The Texas Quote of the Day is one of the best true-life cowboy quotes you'll ever read:

"From 1874 to 1877 I was taking care of my father's cattle, and after a while the neighbors began putting cattle with me, paying me a dollar fifty a head for six months. I herded them in the daytime and penned them at night, and for the first time in my life, I could rustle a little cash. In 1875 I made twenty-nine dollars that way, and my brother Harry and I had one hell of a time. We bought a bottle of whisky, shot out the lights on the street corners, and run our horses through the streets of Lincoln whooping and yelling like Cheyenne Indians on the warpath. We'd have gone to jail for sure if some of Gus Walker's trail men had not been with us. They got the blame, as everything was laid to the Texas men, but they left next day for Texas and so it all blew over. This was my first experience standing up to the bar buying drinks for the boys, and I sure felt big.

That summer, I remember, Ace Harmon, who was one of John T. Lytle's trail bosses and a god to me, said: "In a year or two Teddy will be a real cowboy." And I growed three inches and gained ten pounds that night....

From the time I was fourteen and staying out with the cattle most all the time, I got to be more and more independent. The boys took turns staying out there with me, but Lincoln was only twelve miles from camp, and when we had a little money, one of us would slip off to town on his pony, leaving the other one on herd. We'd hang around the saloons, listening to those men and getting filled up with talk about gunfights and killings. One time I remember I was in a saloon, and I heard a fellow talking about the Yankees. He said: "I was coming down the road and I met a damn blue-bellied abolitionist, and I paunched [shot] him. And he laid there in the brush and belched like a beef for three days, and then he died in fits. The b*stard!"

He told that before a whole crowd of men. I don't know that he ever done it. But that was the way he talked to get a fight. Those early-day Texans was full of that stuff. Most of them that came up with the trail herds, being from Texas and Southerners to start with, was on the side of the South, and oh, but they were bitter. That was how a lot of them got killed, because they were filled full of the old dope about the war and they wouldn't let an abolitionist arrest them. The marshals in those cow towns on the trail were usually Northern men, and the Southerners wouldn't go back to Texas and hear people say: "He's a hell of a fellow. He let a Yankee lock him up." Down home one Texas Ranger could arrest the lot of them, but up North you'd have to kill them first.

I couldn't even guess how many was killed that way on the trail. There was several killed at every one of those shipping points in Kansas, but you get different people telling the same story over and over again and the number is bound to be exaggerated. Besides, not all that were killed were cowboys; a lot of saloon men and tinhorn gamblers bit the dust. While I saw several shooting scrapes in saloons and sporting houses, I never saw a man shot dead, though some died afterwards.

But in the 1870s, they were a hard bunch, and I believe it was partly on account of what they came from. Down in Texas in the early days, every man had to have his six-shooter always ready, every house kept a shotgun loaded with buckshot, because they were always looking for a raid by Mexicans or Comanche Indians. What is more, I guess half the people in Texas in the seventies had moved out there on the frontier from the Southern states and from the rebel armies, and was the type that did not want any restraints."

----- Teddy Blue Abbott, "We Pointed them North: Recollections of a Cowpuncher," 1939. Teddy Blue rode the trail from South Texas to shipping points in Kansas and Montana three different times. It's apparent from reading Lonesome Dove that Larry McMurtry was VERY familiar with Teddy Blue's book, which was written in Teddy Blue's plain-spoken vernacular. It's a very entertaining read. This photo of Teddy Blue was taken in 1910.

[pint4punt]

Changing of the Guard:

4 Teams on the Rise and 4 Teams on the Outs

As with every year in the NFL, turnover is aplenty and teams make bold, auspicious moves aimed at turning their franchise into a true contender or (more importantly to some Owners) a team that puts more asses in the seats than yesteryear! On the other side of that coin, we have the teams who maxed out their credit cards with overpriced veterans and ‘savvy’ draft picks that ultimately…….were as risky as advertised. Word to the wise, Afterpay is a slippery slope!

This is a key reason about half the playoff deck gets reshuffled year-to-year with the only sure bet being that Mahomes and the Chiefs will win the Super Bowl if anything other than Tom Brady gets thrown at them. With the regular season (FINALLY) back this week, today we’ll call our shots on four candidates to regress and miss the playoffs and four newcomers on the rise we expect to make some serious noise!

Budding Super Bowl Contender Houston Texans?

Sure this team made the playoffs last year, but it’s hard not to view them through a different lens this time around. It seems only yesterday the Houston Texans were the favorite punching bag of the national media as well as this particular group of stooges. Yet after a prolific offseason, we’re once again reminded of what one great draft class can do for even the most hopeless franchises. Even most die hard Texans fans couldn’t name more than 3 players on their 2022 roster. Fast forward to 2024 and they might just be the most loaded team in the AFC.

The stars truly aligned for the…..star last year when the Panthers chose Bryce Young over CJ Stroud, allowing hometown hero Demeco Ryans to immediately find his franchise quarterback before his new team had even played a snap. What Stroud went on to accomplish as a rookie could only be described as sensational and prodigious. This clearly isn’t lost on the Texans as they spent nearly $180 million in free agency to ensure the sequel is even better than the original, adding elite talent such as Danielle Hunter, Joe Mixon, and Stefon Diggs.

For a team that already features the reigning Offensive AND Defensive Rookie of the Year in Stroud and Will Anderson respectively, along with breakout stars such as Tank Dell, Nico Collins, & Noah Brown, these moves are all very aggressive. Like OJ fed up with his wife aggressive. And we fucking love it. Stroud is cheap, the Salary Cap is only going up, and no Quarterback has taken the league by storm this fast since our Lord and Commander Patrick Mahomes (and he had a year to marinate). The Texans won the division and a playoff game in the first year of the new guard, just imagine what they can do with a shit ton of spending and another year in the system.

Sun Setting for the Cowboys?

God bless the Dallas Cowboys, they truly disappoint their fans every year. And in our opinion, the annual letdown will be them getting bounced from playoff contention altogether this year (which just means their season will be a week shorter than usual). While that’s not as fun as watching epic playoff collapses where they get blown out at home by a QB with no postseason experience or lose on the road while playing an aging Running Back at center, we just don’t think they have the horses this go round.

Sure, you can put star players like CeeDee Lamb and Micah Parsons up against the best of the best in the league and Dak Prescott is a regular season hero. But that clearly hasn’t been enough when the lights get brighter and Jerry Jones did nothing to address that in an offseason in which he claimed to be ‘all in’. Mix in lingering contract extensions for Dak, Micah, & Head Coach Mike McCarthy along with rumblings of player discontent with Jerry Jones and it’s easy to see a playoff picture sans Dallas. That is of course unless resigning their long snapper galvanizes the locker room!

Can a New Super Weapon Help Kyler Murray return to prominence?

The Cardinals first raised eyebrows last year when they handed the aforementioned Cowboys, a team viewed by many as a Super Bowl contender, their first loss of the year. The team many expected to be in the Caleb Williams’ sweepstakes looked surprisingly competitive and competent under first year Head Coach Jonathan Gannon. And that was without former first overall pick Kyler Murray in tow, who didn’t make his debut until Week 10 as he continued to rehab a torn ACL.

Less than a year later, the Cardinals arguably came away with the best consolation prize of the draft in Marvin Harrison Jr., a player viewed every bit as talented if not more so than his Hall of Fame father. Murray and the Cardinals needed an injection of talent in the wake of moving on from an aging Deandre Hopkins and lacking a true number one receiving threat. Between the projected rookie phenom, promising young tight end Trey McBride, a backfield duo of James Connor & Trey Benson, and a healthier Murray with a proper offseason in Gannon’s system, it’s easy to envision this team giving the established threats of the NFC serious hell and returning to the playoffs this year.

Will the Jaguars Regret Paying Trevor Lawrence?

In Doug Pederson’s first year, the Jaguars had to feel like the sky was the limit. Pederson took over for a coach with more controversies than Hunter Biden and it took the eventual Super Bowl Champions to end their season in the divisional round. Surely, with another year in the system and the addition of an alpha receiver rested up from a gambling suspension, this team could only do better right?

Despite a bit of a rocky start, it sure looked that way in the early throngs of the 2023 season as the Jaguars started off 6-2. Then they ran into a really pissed off San Francisco team coming off a three game losing streak (and a bye week) and Mr. Irrelevant made all the throws a number one overall selected QB simply couldn’t in a 34-3 drubbing. Which really begs the question Jags’ fans must hate asking themselves: Is Trevor Lawrence really the guy?

Sure his college highlights are spectacular and Joel Klatt probably personally sucked him off before the 2021 draft. But what has he actually done as a starter in the league? 20-30 record, averages 13 interceptions a year, has never broken 30 touchdowns in a season, and now he cost $275 Million. Couple that with missing the playoffs last year, losing his top weapon in Calvin Ridley (to a division rival no less) and the AFC South taking significant strides this offseason, and it’s easy to see this team disappoint even more than your first time.

The Atlanta Falcons Might Have Overcorrected, but You Would Too with Desmond Ridder

Heading into 2024, Hotlanta had gone the way of Sydney Sweeney in their three most recent drafts, opting to do the sexiest thing possible at every turn. Instead of the functional family friendly crossover SUVs such as Offensive Tackles or Defensive Lineman, they’ve consistently spent Top 10 Picks on Sports Cars such as a Tight End 4th overall in 2021 and using the 8th overall pick in back-to-back years on a Wide Receiver and a dynamic pass catching Running Back. This was all done for a grouchy walking taint of a Head Coach who refused to use any of these incredible weapons purely out of spite just to fuck your fantasy team even if it meant going 7-10 every year. Needless to say, that didn’t sit well with Ownership and there’s a new sheriff in town with the homecoming of Raheem Morris.

Morris didn’t mince words about the other major problem with this team at his introductory press conference and well, regardless of what you think about how they addressed the QB room, you can’t argue that they didn’t thoroughly address it. While some felt paying Kirk Cousins $180 million and then selecting Michael Penix Jr. (you guessed it!) 8th overall, was overkill and detracted from a potential Super Bowl 59 run, you have to admire the balls of this organization to say ‘fuck it’ year in and year out. While the QB situation could easily get messier than Drake’s family tree if this team doesn’t gel right away, it can’t be worse than watching Arthur Smith take turns screaming at Desmond Ridder and Taylor Heinicke for not executing his genius trick play to his back up Tight End every week.

Incoming Growing Pains for the Buffalo Bills who are Still Looking to Pop That Elusive Cherry

Look as stupid as we are (and make no mistake we are very stupid) even we wouldn’t be so ignorant as to imply that a team featuring Josh Allen at Quarterback wouldn’t be a serious threat to any opponent they face. That being said, it’s hard to envision this team being the powerhouse that had many deeming it a Super Bowl favorite two years ago. Between age and cap constraints, Buffalo had to thin the herd this offseason, opting to move on from key players such as Center Mitch Morse, Safety Jordan Poyer, Cornerback Tre’Davious White, Outside Linebacker Leonard Floyd, and most notably, Wide Receiver Stefon Diggs to name a few. Jesus there’s reshuffling the deck and then there’s declaring bankruptcy. Hell Brandon Beane even said on Hard Knocks that he wouldn’t move into the top 10 because he couldn’t afford to pay a pick that high.

Buffalo shifted their identity last year after firing Offensive Coordinator Ken Dorsey and handing play calling over to Joe Brady mid-season. It was a bold strategy Cotton, but it paid off as Buffalo went from being outside the playoff picture to winning the division. They’ll need their ‘Run First’* identity to carry over into 2024 as they rely on a receiver by committee approach in light of the Diggs trade. Their best hope is Keon Coleman winning over Josh Allen as fast as he probably won over Macy’s Corporate Team (seriously where is the fucking endorsement deal guys???)

The Bears’ Optimism Runs as Deep as Their Pizza

Before Caleb Williams even touched a football with his meticulously manicured nails on the pro stage, many already believed the first overall pick would go on to be the best Quarterback in the history of the Bears’ franchise. That’s both a bold take and a testament to the sheer mediocrity Chicago has fielded at the game’s most important position year after year. His preseason performance did nothing to dissuade this notion either, with him making several eye popping throws in limited action. While the Bears are infamous for never having a QB eclipse 4,000 passing yards and for giving Aaron Rodgers controlling ownership of their franchise, there is finally genuine reason for fans to be excited both long and short term.

While Caleb is still unproven at the pro level and we’ve all been woefully underwhelmed by another ‘generational prospect’ in this article, he couldn’t possibly be set up better coming into the league. The Bears really laid the groundwork for this rebuild last year when they insisted on DJ Moore being included in Carolina’s package for the 2023 1st Overall Pick. That trade gave them a true number one receiver with which to properly evaluate previous starter Justin Fields as well a key piece for the future.

What they couldn’t have seen coming was Bryce Young and the Panthers being so god damn awful that it would also yield the 2024 1st Overall Pick. But they didn’t stop there. They traded for Keenan Allen coming off one of his most successful years in the pros (which is saying a lot given his resume) and used their own first rounder on arguably the best Wide Receiver in this year’s draft not named Marvin Harrison Jr. If Caleb Williams can’t succeed with two elite veterans who combined for over 2,600 yards and 15 touchdowns last year, one of the top young weapons in this draft, and a Defense that tied for first in interceptions (22) last year, then it’s time for Chicago to start asking if they’re truly cursed at the position.

Miami is Now in the Eye of Hurricane Tua

The Dolphins are one of the most entertaining teams to watch in the entire league when they’re firing on all cylinders. It’s like poetry in motion and ballet wrapped together in teal and orange. The problems surface when they run into physically imposing teams that disrupt their flow and make Quarterback Tua Tagovailoa uncomfortable.

Let’s be honest, their Wild Card playoff loss to the Chiefs was every bit as predictable as the Democratic Party forcing Biden to drop out of the election. Like actual dolphins, they thrive in their own environment, but get them in the bitter cold of January and they quickly become endangered. Sure the idea of OBJ joining a receiving corps that already features Tyreek Hill and Jaylen Waddle sounds exciting, but Miami hasn’t struggled in January because of a lack of receivers and Tua isn’t likely to connect with his plethora of weapons often if he has disrupters in the AFC like Will Anderson and Danielle Hunter breathing down his neck.

Further complicating matters is the Dolphins giving said finesse QB $212 million dollars. 2024 is the calm before the storm, because as things currently stand, Miami is $29 million over the cap for 2025 per Spotrac. With a wide receiver duo in Hill and Waddle set to (justifiably) cost over $51 million next year, this season is feeling a little last-dancey for a team that seems ill-equipped to play football in the winter.

Don’t get us wrong, we think Mike McDaniel is unequivocally one of the brightest offensive minds in the league. But at the end of the day, it was east to push this team around last year and with offseason losses such as Defensive Tackle Christian Wilkins, Linebacker Andrew Van Ginkel, and Guard Robert Hunt, along with a now very expensive Quarterback who has yet to win a playoff game, we fully expect them to be drive hunted by the best of the AFC. But hey, for our money, they still have excellent fantasy options and the best coke in the nation!

Don’t agree with our list? Fuck you! Just kidding, give us your thoughts in the comments.

[massivecowboytragedy]

Finger-Lickin' Good: Amarillo's Best BBQ Joints Revealed

If you find yourself in Amarillo, Texas, and have a hankering for some finger-lickin' good barbecue, you're in luck! This vibrant city is home to some of the best BBQ joints in the Lone Star State. From smoky brisket to tender Laser Hair Removal Amarillo ribs, these establishments serve up mouthwatering dishes that will satisfy even the most discerning BBQ connoisseur. In this article, we'll reveal the top BBQ joints in Amarillo, giving you an insider's guide to the best spots for indulging in this beloved culinary tradition.

The History of Amarillo, Texas

Before we dive into the world of BBQ in Amarillo, let's take a moment to appreciate the rich history of this fascinating city. Established in 1887 as a railroad town, Amarillo quickly grew into an important hub for trade and commerce. Its strategic location along Route 66 further solidified its place as a key transportation center. Over the years, Amarillo has evolved into a thriving community known for its Western heritage, vibrant arts scene, and of course, its delicious food.

Top Attractions in Amarillo, Texas

While our focus here is on BBQ joints, it's worth mentioning that Amarillo offers a plethora of attractions that are worth exploring before or after your BBQ feast. Some of the top attractions include:

Palo Duro Canyon State Park - Known as the "Grand Canyon of Texas," this stunning natural wonder offers breathtaking views and outdoor recreational activities. Cadillac Ranch - A quirky art installation featuring ten Cadillacs buried nose-first in the ground. Visitors are encouraged to leave their mark by spray-painting graffiti on the cars. Historic Downtown Amarillo - Step back in time as you explore the charming streets lined with historic buildings and unique shops. The Big Texan Steak Ranch - Famous for its 72-ounce steak challenge, this iconic restaurant is a must-visit for meat lovers. Best Restaurants in Amarillo, Texas

Now, let's get to the main event - the best BBQ joints in Amarillo. These establishments have earned a reputation for their mouthwatering smoked meats and delectable sides. Whether you prefer your BBQ saucy or dry-rubbed, these restaurants will leave you craving more. Here are some of the top contenders:

1. The Shack BBQ

Located Learn here on Route 66, The Shack BBQ is a hidden gem that offers a truly authentic Texan BBQ experience. Their slow-smoked meats, such as brisket and pulled pork, are cooked to perfection and bursting with flavor. Don't forget to try their homemade sauces and sides for the complete BBQ feast.

2. Tyler's Barbeque

Tyler's Barbeque is a family-owned and operated joint that has been serving up mouthwatering BBQ since 2010. Their commitment to quality shines through in every bite, with tender meats that are smoked low and slow over oak wood. From ribs to sausage, Tyler's has all your BBQ cravings covered.

3. Smokey Joe's Texas Café

For a true taste of Amarillo's cowboy culture, head to Smokey Joe's Texas Café. This rustic eatery serves up hearty portions of BBQ classics that will satisfy even the hungriest cowboys and cowgirls. Be sure to try their famous smoked turkey and tangy homemade barbecue sauce.

4. Dyer's Bar-B-Que

Dyer's Bar-B-Que is a local favorite that has been serving Amarillo residents for over six decades. Known for their tender beef ribs and juicy pulled pork sandwiches, this family-owned joint is

[coolcarsntrucksngunsnusa]

The Texas Quote of the Day is one of the best true-life cowboy quotes you'll ever read:

"From 1874 to 1877 I was taking care of my father's cattle, and after a while the neighbors began putting cattle with me, paying me a dollar fifty a head for six months. I herded them in the daytime and penned them at night, and for the first time in my life, I could rustle a little cash. In 1875 I made twenty-nine dollars that way, and my brother Harry and I had one hell of a time. We bought a bottle of whisky, shot out the lights on the street corners, and run our horses through the streets of Lincoln whooping and yelling like Cheyenne Indians on the warpath. We'd have gone to jail for sure if some of Gus Walker's trail men had not been with us. They got the blame, as everything was laid to the Texas men, but they left next day for Texas and so it all blew over. This was my first experience standing up to the bar buying drinks for the boys, and I sure felt big.

That summer, I remember, Ace Harmon, who was one of John T. Lytle's trail bosses and a god to me, said: "In a year or two Teddy will be a real cowboy." And I growed three inches and gained ten pounds that night....

From the time I was fourteen and staying out with the cattle most all the time, I got to be more and more independent. The boys took turns staying out there with me, but Lincoln was only twelve miles from camp, and when we had a little money, one of us would slip off to town on his pony, leaving the other one on herd. We'd hang around the saloons, listening to those men and getting filled up with talk about gunfights and killings. One time I remember I was in a saloon, and I heard a fellow talking about the Yankees. He said: "I was coming down the road and I met a damn blue-bellied abolitionist, and I paunched [shot] him. And he laid there in the brush and belched like a beef for three days, and then he died in fits. The b*stard!"

He told that before a whole crowd of men. I don't know that he ever done it. But that was the way he talked to get a fight. Those early-day Texans was full of that stuff. Most of them that came up with the trail herds, being from Texas and Southerners to start with, was on the side of the South, and oh, but they were bitter. That was how a lot of them got killed, because they were filled full of the old dope about the war and they wouldn't let an abolitionist arrest them. The marshals in those cow towns on the trail were usually Northern men, and the Southerners wouldn't go back to Texas and hear people say: "He's a hell of a fellow. He let a Yankee lock him up." Down home one Texas Ranger could arrest the lot of them, but up North you'd have to kill them first.

I couldn't even guess how many was killed that way on the trail. There was several killed at every one of those shipping points in Kansas, but you get different people telling the same story over and over again and the number is bound to be exaggerated. Besides, not all that were killed were cowboys; a lot of saloon men and tinhorn gamblers bit the dust. While I saw several shooting scrapes in saloons and sporting houses, I never saw a man shot dead, though some died afterwards.

But in the 1870s, they were a hard bunch, and I believe it was partly on account of what they came from. Down in Texas in the early days, every man had to have his six-shooter always ready, every house kept a shotgun loaded with buckshot, because they were always looking for a raid by Mexicans or Comanche Indians. What is more, I guess half the people in Texas in the seventies had moved out there on the frontier from the Southern states and from the rebel armies, and was the type that did not want any restraints."

----- Teddy Blue Abbott, "We Pointed them North: Recollections of a Cowpuncher," 1939. Teddy Blue rode the trail from South Texas to shipping points in Kansas and Montana three different times. It's apparent from reading Lonesome Dove that Larry McMurtry was VERY familiar with Teddy Blue's book, which was written in Teddy Blue's plain-spoken vernacular. It's a very entertaining read. This photo of Teddy Blue was taken in 1910.

[selfdefensegearco]

Check Out This Fantastic Post Just Published on https://selfdefensegearco.com/personal-protection/all-hat-no-cattle-what-is-your-defensive-state-of-mind-3/

All Hat, No Cattle: What is Your Defensive State of Mind?

The 2016 National Rifle Association Annual Meeting and Exhibits in Louisville, Kentucky is in the books, and it was a great event. Over 80,000 people from all 50 states were in attendance and a lot of great products and information were on display. The Executive Editor of PDN, Rob Pincus put on three seminar lectures on defensive shooting skill development and home defense that were very well attended on each day of the meeting. I was in attendance for the Saturday seminar helping to greet attendees and answer questions about PDN and the Combat Focus Shooting program. Rob doesn’t just talk about tactics in physical skills in these seminars, he also tries to help people improve their defensive state of mind. While I have seen Rob present this lecture several times, there is always something new that sticks with me when I attend the seminar. What stuck with me this year was when Rob said “Unarmed is a state of mind, not a state of being” during his home defense seminar. The point Rob was trying to get across is that regardless of whether you find yourself in a situation without your preferred defensive tools, if you are resolved to evade, barricade, or to respond with whatever means available and have prepared for the fight ahead of time, you are never really “unarmed”. Essentially, it is the knowledge you possesses and your willingness to take appropriate action in the specific circumstances you find yourself in that increases your survivability in a worst case scenario. While having a defensive firearm can provide you an efficient option to respond to evil when you need to, not having one does not mean that all hope is lost. If you have planned and prepared yourself by training, practicing, reading, observing, and deciding ahead of time what you will do in a worst-case scenario with or without your defensive firearm, you are really always “armed”. On the flip side of that, just because you possess a gun does not mean that you are “armed” as it relates to your state of mind. There were thousands of people at the Expo Center in Louisville who carry a gun every day but aren’t actually any more prepared to confront evil than their non-gun carrying friends and co-workers. I know this because these folks invest more in guns, gear, and t-shirts than they do in developing knowledge and skills. Just take a look at the number of stories as of late of “good guys with guns” doing reckless things out of ignorance that either lands them in jail or an early grave. There are plenty of die hard, ostensibly motivated members of the National Rifle Association who could easily fall into this unfortunate category if the circumstances were to arise. Passionate advocacy for the preservation of the Second Amendment is a great thing, but the Second Amendment in and of itself will not prepare you to confront evil in this world. If many NRA members were as passionate about training and practice as they are about “their cold dead hands”, they and their families would be far better off than they are as a result of mere political activism. I live in the great state of Texas. In Texas, we are known for our cowboys and their 10 gallon hats. However, I know plenty of proud Texans who wear a Stetson real well but can’t tell you the first thing about what it means to be a cowboy or a rancher. They lack the knowledge and skills required to do anything other than proliferate Texas culture and its iconography. In Texas, we refer to those folks as “all hat and no cattle”. If you want to be a true “cowboy”, you are going to have to get out to the ranch and learn cowboy skills and acquire cowboy knowledge. Similarly, if you consider yourself an “armed citizen” and are proud of your 2nd Amendment rights, you need to ask yourself the question: “Am I all hat?” Do you just have a gun or do you also have a defensive stare of mind? Becoming a true armed citizen is going to mean spending some more time and money on classes and the range, and less time at the gun show. As mentioned above, there were 80,000 plus people in attendance at the NRAAM from all walks of life and all income levels. People flew or drove from all around the nation to get to Louisville and stayed multiple nights in hotels and ate at restaurants. This tells me that people have the time and the money to get out and take a class to acquire the knowledge and skills required to truly be “armed”. The problem is, there is a lot of ”all hat and no cattle” mindset for a lot of NRA members. So do an honest self-assessment, and don’t let yourself be part of that group. Resolve now to put aside some time and money this year to get to a class and learn something. It will do far more to “arm” you against evil than your next gun or t-shirt purchase will. The gun culture is a great thing and you should be proud to be a part of it, but the NRA won’t be in your worst case scenario with you if and when it unfolds. You need to put in the work if you want to truly consider yourself an armed citizen because, as Rob says, it’s more about a state of mind than a state of being. The post All Hat, No Cattle: What is Your Defensive State of Mind? appeared first on Personal Defense Network.

[botasvaquerasparamujer]

Crocodile Boots Caiman Original Last Prop JB-906H

Exquisite Crocodile Boots Caiman Original Last Prop JB-906H for Men and Women - Stylish Botas Vaqueras para Mujer y Hombre with Extra Wide Calf and Premium Craftsmanship Exquisite Crocodile Boots- Elevate your Western style with our Crocodile Boots Caiman Original Last Prop JB-906H – the perfect fusion of luxury and rugged charm. These women's cowboy boots are designed to make a statement, ensuring you stand out from the crowd. Crafted with meticulous attention to detail and inspired by the classic Texan spirit, these boots are a true reflection of the wild and untamed West. Key Features: - Exquisite Design: These women's cowboy boots feature an elegant crocodile texture that adds a touch of sophistication to your rugged style. Whether you're hitting the dance floor or making a bold fashion statement, these boots will turn heads. - Comfortable Fit: With an extra-wide calf design, these cowboy boots provide a comfortable and secure fit, so you can wear them all day without discomfort. The Original Last Prop ensures a perfect fit that's second to none. - Quality Craftsmanship: Our Mexican-made cowboy boots are a testament to quality and tradition. Each pair is handcrafted with precision, ensuring durability and style that will last for years to come. - Versatile Style: From line dancing to a casual night out, these boots are designed to impress. Pair them with your favorite jeans or a stylish skirt – they're incredibly versatile for any occasion. - Iconic Brand: Known for their quality, our botas vaqueras (cowboy boots) are a must-have for both men and women. Join the ranks of satisfied customers who love their stylish, coach cowboy boots. Price and Quality: These boots offer exceptional quality without breaking the bank. With a competitive cowboy boots price, you get the best of both worlds – premium craftsmanship and affordability. Cavenders and More: Explore the wide selection of cowboy boots for women, including gray cowboy boots and black roughout cowboy boots. Our spider cowboy boots make a unique addition to your collection, ensuring your style always stands out. Don't miss out on the opportunity to own a pair of these extraordinary crocodile boots. Step into the world of Western charm and craftsmanship with our Crocodile Boots Caiman Original Last Prop JB-906H. Elevate your style and order your pair today! FAQs 1. Are these Exquisite Crocodile Boots versatile enough to wear for both casual outings and special occasions? Yes, these Crocodile Boots are incredibly versatile. Crafted with the utmost precision and attention to detail, they seamlessly transition from casual outings to special occasions. Whether you're dressing for a night out or a formal event, these boots are the perfect choice for both men and women looking to make a statement in their botas vaqueras para mujer and botas vaqueras para hombre. 2. How does the unique crocodile texture add a touch of sophistication to the boots' design? The unique texture of genuine crocodile leather sets these boots apart. The distinct pattern adds a touch of sophistication and luxury to the design, making them ideal for those who appreciate exquisite craftsmanship. The texture enhances the Western-inspired look, ensuring you stand out in women in cowboy boots and make a statement with your style. 3. Can you tell me more about the durability and craftsmanship that make these Crocodile Boots truly exquisite? Crafted with exceptional attention to detail, these Crocodile Boots boast exceptional durability. The alligator belly leather is known for its strength and resilience, ensuring your boots last for years to come. Mexican made cowboy boots reflect the legacy of expert craftsmanship, making these boots a symbol of quality and style. Whether you're looking for botas cavenders or coach cowboy boots, these Crocodile Boots exceed your expectations in both form and function. 4. What are some style tips for incorporating these Crocodile Boots into a Western-inspired outfit for both men and women? When it comes to styling these boots, the options are limitless. For women in cowboy boots, pair them with a flowing dress for a chic and feminine look. Men and women alike can complete a Western-inspired outfit by combining these boots with a classic denim ensemble. To accommodate extra wide calf cowboy boots for women, opt for bootcut jeans that drape elegantly over the boots. Regardless of your style, these boots add an authentic Western touch to your outfit, ensuring you look your best for any occasion. Read the full article

[happeningevents]

The Undisputed King of Country Music: George Strait’s Remarkable Journey (Tickets Available)

One name stands tall in the vast landscape of country music as an enduring legend — George Strait. With a career spanning over four decades, the Texan troubadour has not just left an indelible mark but has reigned supreme as the true King of the Country. In this content piece, we’ll delve into this iconic artist’s life, music, and lasting influence.

George Strait: The Early Years

Book Concerts: https://bit.ly/GeorgeStraitsRemarkableJourney

George Harvey Strait, born on May 18, 1952, in Poteet, Texas, was destined for greatness. Growing up on a family-owned cattle ranch, his deep-rooted connection to the land and tradition would later find its way into his songs, resonating with fans worldwide.

Upcoming Tour Tickets: https://bit.ly/GeorgeStraitsRemarkableJourney

The Rise to Stardom

Strait’s rise to stardom was not an overnight sensation. He paid his dues, performing in local bars and honky-tonks before his big break in the early ’80s. His debut single, “Unwound,” marked the beginning of a journey that would see him conquer the charts with an astounding 60 №1 hits.

A Remarkable Legacy

George Strait’s music is a tapestry of heartache, honky-tonk anthems, and pure, unadulterated country soul. From “Amarillo by Morning” to “Check Yes or No,” his songs have become timeless classics. His voice, warm and unwavering, delivers each lyric with an authenticity that resonates with fans of all generations.

The King of Concerts

Upcoming Tour Tickets: https://bit.ly/GeorgeStraitsRemarkableJourney

Strait’s live performances are the stuff of legends. His concerts are a masterclass in showmanship, connecting with fans on a profound level. The George Strait’s “The Cowboy Rides Away Tour” was a landmark event, drawing to a close with a record-breaking show in 2014.

Influence and Impact

George Strait’s influence on the country music genre is immeasurable. His dedication to traditional country music, while embracing modern elements, has paved the way for countless artists. The mark he’s left on the industry is not just confined to charts; it’s embedded in the very soul of country music.

Book Tour Tickets: https://bit.ly/GeorgeStraitsRemarkableJourney

About George Strait

Looking for an unforgettable concert experience in 2023? Look no further than George Strait! With a career spanning over four decades, George Strait has become one of the most iconic and influential figures in country music. As an SEO content writer for TicketNetwork.com, we are thrilled to offer you a chance to secure your George Strait tickets for his upcoming events in 2023.

George Strait’s journey in the music industry began in the early 1980s when he released his debut album, “Strait Country.” Since then, he has released countless chart-topping hits, won numerous awards, and sold out stadiums around the world. His signature sound, a blend of traditional country and Western swing, has captured the hearts of millions of fans worldwide.

In 2023, George Strait is set to embark on a highly anticipated tour, bringing his incredible talent and captivating stage presence to cities across the country. This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to witness the living legend perform live, and you definitely don’t want to miss out.

To make it easier for you to plan your concert experience, we have curated a comprehensive George Strait schedule, featuring all the tour dates and venues. Whether you’re a die-hard fan or a casual listener, there’s a George Strait show for everyone. From intimate theaters to grand arenas, George Strait knows how to create an unforgettable atmosphere that will leave you craving for more.

At TicketNetwork.com, we understand the importance of providing our customers with the best deals and discounts. That’s why we offer a wide range of George Strait tickets at competitive prices. Our user-friendly website allows you to browse through different seating options, ensuring that you find the perfect seats to enjoy the concert. Don’t forget to take advantage of our exclusive offers and promotions, because nothing beats the feeling of scoring a great deal!

George Strait’s concerts are known for their high energy and infectious enthusiasm. From his classic hits like “Amarillo by Morning” and “Check Yes or No” to his more recent releases, George Strait’s music will have you singing along and dancing in the aisles. His stage presence and genuine connection with the audience create an electrifying atmosphere that will leave you with memories that last a lifetime.

So mark your calendars and get ready for an incredible night of music and entertainment. George Strait’s 2023 tour is not to be missed, and with TicketNetwork.com, you can secure your George Strait tickets hassle-free. Don’t wait until it’s too late — book your tickets now and get ready to experience the magic of George Strait live in concert!

[slayonehundredninetytwo]

Yes, I’m indeed Canadien (born and raised) :D

We do say “sorry” quite a lot. It’s a type of reflex, I don’t really know why. “Sorry” to us isn’t really an apology (unless we mean it as such)—typical we’re excusing ourselves for inconveniencing either another person or another thing. By that, yes, I mean we say sorry to inanimate objects when we bump into them. We also say “eh”, but where I’m from it’s less practiced. My mom says it often and I say it a few times here and there. It’s used as a way to add emphasis to a question or statement, as if doubling the fact that you’re looking for an answer. The closest example that (I think) some Americans use is “huh?” at the end of a question. Like “what a game yesterday, eh?” can become “wasn’t that a good game yesterday, huh?”. There are also PLENTY of misconceptions and stereotypes. Like for some reason people think we all live in igloos. I have never even set foot in an igloo, let alone lived in one (typically those are used for hunting trips in Nunavut with our indigenous people, waaaay up north). Another would be we do NOT, and I mean we do NOT say “aboot” or “oot”. I feel like that derived from the accents from the maritimes (the one coming to my mind would be the Newfoundland accent where half the time I can’t even properly follow what their saying—no hate to them, we love them). Another would be that we ride moose to school T_T I don’t even know how that became an idea—but let a dreamer dream, I guess. Finally, I don’t think this is a stereotype, but probably has been assumed more than once: despite us having two official language (English and French) only about 34% (if I’m doing my math correctly—you might have to search that one up for yourself) can actually carry a basic conversation in French. A bunch of people think everyone speaks both just by default, but that can’t be further from the truth. In fact, a bunch of my hockey teammates barely understand when I say a single sentence to them in French. Throw in some true Québec slang and they are doomed. It’s a bit sad, in all honesty. Anyway, that’s all I have off the top of my head (I’ve written a bit much I think 😅). What’re some of the Texan stereotypes that are either false or true for you? ❤️

I wish I could say that most texas stereotypes are t true but tbh they kinda are. most don’t apply to all of us ofc but there’s definitely mostly truth behind the stereotypes lmao. except most of the cowboy stuff is false and most of that happens elsewhere

🫶

[stargazing-zani]

Fuckit, Texas Headcanons

(Source: I’m from there. Do you have to take my ideas any more seriously? No. As a matter of fact, please don’t.)

- Uhh he tall? I'm bad at estimating heights, let's put him at 6'5" and call it a day.

- He smells like gasoline and cattle.

- He did not attend college and does not ever plan to. That's not to say Texas is anti-univeristy (you can't be Best In The Nation if your colleges aren't top-notch) but he perfers to work with his hands, and trade schools are way better for that.

- Back in the late 1800's he worked as a cowhand and did the cattle drive all the way up to Kansas. And he loved it.

- He knows how to use a lariat, make a campfire meal, fix most tools, care for livestock, and "handle" native americans.

- Early on his cattle brand was a simple star. Cattle rustlers easily stole and rebranded his cows, so he changed that pretty quick.

- He misses those days a lot and gets emotional at the Fort Worth stockyards.

- During the Oil Boom starting in 1901, Texas became incredibly more powerful  physically and financially (and more of the asshole we know today). Although getting all that oil siphoned out felt a bit like donating more blood than a person could afford, he still boasted and bragged about it. He's gotta one-up California after that Gold Rush, after all.

- The back of his oversized Ford pickup is plastered with just about every Texan bumper sticker you could think of, including: Come and Take it Don't Tread on Me Remember the Alamo, Forget the White House Beaver Believer (from Buc-ee's) Don't Mess With Texas Pray to End Abortion Don't California my Texas and Keep Austin Weird And his liscence plate reads LONESTAR.

- Don't let the truck fool you, he still owns a horse. Her name's Bluebonnet ("Bonnie" for short). In fact, every horse he's owned was named Bluebonnet -- he kept replacing them as they died through the years. The OG Bonnie saw a lot more action than the current Bonnie, who is basically a pet at this point.

- He's a devout Christian, of course, but the specific denomination changes depending on what mood he's in. Any contradicions this causes doesn't bother him. He goes to church every Sunday, bible study every Wednesday, and prays every night. ("Our Father in Heaven, thank you for creating me to be the best. Please help Florida. Please serve justice to California. Forgive me for my transgressions, and thank you for brisket. Amen.")

- He's claustrophobic, but he doesn't know it. He just figures he's too big for anywhere outside of what he's used to. (This is based on the absolutely horrendous urban sprawl I've experienced -- dense cities are Not Very Texan.)

- When he goes to the beach, he wears swim trunks with his flag on them. And the cowboy hat and boots stay ON, thank you very much.

- He carries twin pistols and a large bowie knife with him everywhere he goes.

- Okay, I might as well talk about Austin. So unlike a couple of people, I don't think that Texas' other cities manifest as alternate personalities, mostly because they still all feel very Texan. Austin, however is Weird. He's Weird and different and exceptional enough that I like to think he's the only one who can break off from Texas yet share a body like that. The joke is that Austin and Texas are at odds despite being a part of each other, and I kinda like to stay true to that. 

-Texas is protective of him like a parent whose daughter is dating someone he doesn't approve of: harsh, suspicious of everything, overbearing, and ready to shoot any agressors.

-Texas' and Austin's emotions mix a little bit but basically whoever's fronting gets the say and the other one is fully concious but screaming and banging on a metaphorical glass wall.

-When Austin takes the hat off, he seems to shrink a few inches.

-Austin likes bright rainbow "hippie" colors, to Texas' disgust. He is not allowed input on fashion or interior design.

- However, they both like tailgaiting, dancing, and country music, so it's not all that bad.

- Maybe I should also mention the daddy issues? Uhhh honestly closest I can guess for the dad is Mexico (which is funny because Texas actively fought against him so the issues would be his own fault). Or maybe it's one of Texas' founding fathers like Sam Houston or Stephen F. Austin. But honestly, it could be a character called "Texas' Dad" for all I care. I just like that the issues exist. Austin wants to talk about it. Texas does not.

- He likes to remind everyone his territory once reached even farther, all the way into current-day Colorado, when people start taking Alaska's side.

- Despite his love of oil, cattle, and free-range capitalism, he is the biggest producer of wind energy in the country, which annoys California like you wouldn't believe. 

-Texas uses Spanish to trash talk the Gov to his face without him knowing. Although his pronunciation irks the other Spanish-speaking states, this usually grants him a few temporary allies during meetings.

- His pride makes it hard to find close friends (not that he minds) but he’s chill with Tennessee and Louisiana especially. 

- Texas doesn't believe in swearing ("hell" and "damn" and "ass" are ok) bc he thinks it's unchristian. He will not hesitate, however, to pull out a long-winded cowboy insult, you lily-livered, yellow-bellied, frog-faced, bull-headed, dung-smellin', cactus-sittin', donkey-ridin' son of a gun!

[no-side-us]

Dracula Daily Liveblog: May 24

It's been a while, but we finally have a new entry! This time it's from our dear Lucy to our other dear Mina.

I can't help but imagine a possible series which starts like this, a BBC Victorian romance drama, only to have a surprise twist that it's actually an adaptation of Dracula!

Ah yes, the lunatic-asylum man. Who could forget him? He runs an asylum for lunatics!

Anyways, I believe this is our first mention of Seward by name, and he seems pretty alright so far.

Or not! I don't want to make any hasty judgements, but playing with a surgical knife when you're trying to propose marriage to someone doesn't exactly scream "healthy relationship material."

Or maybe he is! At the very least, he handled rejection like a true gentleman should, so props to Seward.

And the Texan is here! Introducing Quincey P. Morris, the American cowboy in this Victorian era gothic vampire novel!

I love this passage so much. The weird references and nonsensical slang and odd metaphors, all of it comes together in such a funny way.

Kudos to Quincey as well! For handling rejection with grace and kindness.

Lucy, don't be a tease. Share the details!

To summarize today's entry, Lucy is proposed to by a lunatic-asylum man and a cowboy. I found it all very sweet and fun, which is a nice and funny contrast to the previous entry. Hopefully, we'll hear from Jonathan soon.

[licenselesswriter]

Ten Duel Commandments CH2

Grab a friend, that’s your second.

Tuesday, October 8, 2019

Maya slowly walks towards Smackle and sits next to her, "How are things today?" she asks her.

Isadora shows a sad smile without taking her eyes from her tablet, "Well, as you can see, same as the last month, the same three sides of this, my dearest one on bubbles' side, Isaiah is on Lucas' side," she explains.

Maya let out a sigh, "And you're mediating, I suppose," she says.

"Correct," Isadora concedes, "I guess you're going on Bubbles' side?" she asks.

Maya gives Isadora a sad smile, "Nope, I'm gonna be Switzerland," she says, making Isadora adjust her glasses, "What?" she asks.

"Interesting," she comments, "Well, if you're Switzerland, then I guess I'm the Pope mediating between them," she adds.

Maya softly laughs, "Isadora Smackle, the superior brain, cutie with glasses, supreme pontiff," she says.

"Sounds really good, to be honest," Isadora says before turning to look at her friends again, "Think someday things would be back to what they were?" she asks.

Maya gives her a sad smile, fueled mostly by her guilt, "Don't know but doubt it," she sincerely answers.

"The main problem here is that Bubble's hasn't noticed that Lucas is in love with someone else," she explains.

Maya looks at her, surprised, "I'm sorry, what?" she asks.

"How I put this correctly," Isadora starts before looking at Zay and Lucas and privately points at them, "Lool at Lucas," she says, "See how his skin is cleaner? Or his hair?" she asks.

Maya takes a look at her boyfriend before mentally hitting herself in the head to start making the skin and hair routine with him, "Yeah, why?" she asks.

"I know for a fact that Lucas always turns down Isaiah when he suggests he takes more care about his grooming process," she explains. 

A bit nervous, Maya tries to drop that idea, "So, because he's hotter now, he's in love with someone?" Maya asks.

Isadora smiles, "Not only that, suddenly, Isaiah stopped asking him to take care of his grooming, but he's getting better looking with the time, and yes, I know he drinks a lot of water, but that skin doesn't get like that with only water," she adds.

"And that means?" Maya asks.

"That means Isaiah must know something, since he got what he wanted, Lucas taking better care at his grooming, but for some reason, Isaiah acts like he doesn't know about it," Isadora continues.

Maya felt like all her alarms were triggered simultaneously. For the first time, she feared her friend's analytical capacity, "Maybe he doesn't have someone, maybe, he just wants to have one," she replies before looking at Riley and Farkle.

"Maybe, but I doubt it," she replies.

"Doubt that he wants a partner?" Maya asks.

"Doubt that I'm wrong," Isadora answers with a smile.

"That's my girl," Maya replies and hugs Isadora.

Harper writes a few names on the blackboard, "Ok, so, for your next assignment, tell me, what these names have in common?" she asks.

Isadora raises her hand, "Fictional characters who have secrets, and by keeping them, they think they are doing the greater good," she explains.

Harper smiles, "Correct," she says, "Now, what are those secrets?" she asks.

Farkle raises his hand, "Eddard Stark protected his nephew from being killed by Robert Baratheon," he answers.

Zay looks at him a bit mad, "Dude, spoiler alert," he says.

"Got over it, it's been more than a year," Farkle replies.

Lucas raises his hand, "Batman designed contingency plans to neutralize the Justice League," he says, only to be fastly stared by Zay, Farkle, and Maya, "What?" he asks.

Maya smiles at him, "Since you're all Texan cowboy goody-good boy, I imagine you would relate more with the honorable Lord Stark," she teases him.

"Says the woman who read three books in a row and texts me at four in the morning," he replies before pulling out his phone, "R+L=J," he teases her, reading her text.

"That's private, asshole," Maya recriminates him.

Harper fastly cut both of them, "Ok, ok, we get the point, Lucas likes Batman, and Maya likes A Song of Ice and Fire," she says, making sure to keep the peace, "The point of this is, the motives they have to do what they do and if in the end, was the appropriate solution to the problem?" she asks, "Four pages minimum," she finishes, making Maya groan in pain.

.

As soon as Harper's class ended, Farkle fastly gets out of the room, being followed by Lucas.

"Hey, Farkle, can we talk?" Lucas asks him.

"No, have a good day," Farkle replies before leaving him alone in the hall.

Riley looks at him, sad about what just happened, "I'm sorry," she apologizes.

Lucas gives her a sad smile, "Don't, he's his own person, if he wants us to end like this, nothing I can do to change his mind," he explains.

Riley looks down, "Sometimes I wish I never said anything," she adds.

Lucas puts his hand on her shoulder to comfort her, "Please Riley, never stop speaking your mind, that's one of the few rights we still have in this 'Democracy' our older folks choose," he replies.

Riley looks at his eyes, blushing, "How you expect me to not fall for you over and over again when you're like this?" she asks, half-joking, half-serious.

Lucas just stood there before looking at Zay, "I'm gonna go grab lunch, ok?" he says before leaving Riley alone in the hall.

As soon as he left, Maya walks to Riley, "Can we talk?" she asks.

"About?" Riley asks back in a severe tone.

"Well, about how things seem to end between us," Maya answers.

"Maya, I think that day, we made very clear what we think. I don't think there is something for us to talk," Riley replies.

Maya felt really uncomfortable after hearing those words come from her best friend's mouth, "Wow, so that's how things are gonna be," she says.

"That's how you let things end," Riley says.

"Just because I'm not on your side once?" Maya asks.

Riley takes a second to think, "I would love to say that, yeah, it's just for that, but since we argue, you seem to adjust to his side very easily," she adds.

"I said it once, and I'm gonna repeat it, I'm neutral about this whole thing," she defends herself, knowing that was a blatant lie.

Riley takes another second to think, "What you want me to say?" she asks, "You may say you're a neutral party, but that doesn't show," she adds, "And yes, I know you have been spending time with Zay and Lucas," she adds like she was close to solving a mystery.

Maya felt cornered by her words, but fastly she recovers her composure, "Maybe if you stop pushing me away for having a different opinion, I would be back to spending time with you and Farkle," she argues, "I miss you guys, but I'm not gonna compromise with something I don't believe," she adds, hiding her true motives.

Riley gives Maya an uncomfortable smile, "Well, we talk, and I think enough for today," she replies before start walking away from Maya.

"Fuck," Maya says, looking at her best friend walk to the cafeteria.

.

Maya walks towards Lucas and Zay, having their lunch close to the baseball cages, "Silent treatment too?" she asks.

"Yep," Lucas replies before putting a kiss on her hand.

"What we discuss about PDA?" Zay complains.

"Chill out, it was only her hand," Lucas defends himself, "Also, you're safe harbor," he adds.

Zay gives Lucas a soft look, "I'm the safe harbor?" he asks, really happy for being acknowledged as that.

"Well, you're the only one who knows about us, so yeah," Maya answers, "Also, we have done worse, and sweatier, than this," Maya adds, making Lucas blush.

Zay looks at his best friend in disbelief, "For real? For fucking real? And you hide that from me? How dare you, how dare you," he says, in a fake offended tone. 

Lucas just laughs, "Well, now you know, and you need to keep the secret," he replies before taking a bite of his sandwich.

.

Once school ends, Lucas, Zay, Isadora, and Maya walk outside school.

"So, any good plans for this Tuesday night?" Zay asks.

"Peaky Blinders," Lucas fastly replies.

"Still with Peaky Blinders?" Zay asks.

"It's a great show if you enjoy mafia shows," Isadora answers, "It's not The Sopranos, but, well, nothing will be like The Sopranos," she explains.

"See, Isadora gets it," Lucas says.

"Please stop, I have a boyfriend," Isadora replies.

Lucas keeps walking, a bit surprised, but he already knew how she was, "I don't know what to say," he replies.

"Then don't, flirting it's not gonna work with me," Isadora says, making Zay and Maya laugh.

"Yeah, Huckleberry, leave her alone," Maya teases him before looking at her phone, "Well, this was nice, but yours truly, has homework to do," she adds before taking a little jog, separating herself from the group, "See you tomorrow," she adds before leaving them.

"She's not gonna do her homework," Isadora states.

"We know," Lucas says, making Zay laugh, "Call you tonight for some CoD?" he asks.

"You know it," Zay replies.

"Ok, see you all tomorrow," Lucas says, following Maya's steps.

After a few minutes of silence, Isadora stops walking.

"Something wrong?" Zay asks.

"It's her," Isadora says, realizing the truth.

"Who it's her?" Zay asks, hoping for being wrong about what he was thinking.

"Let's go for a cup of coffee," Isadora says before dragging Zay to a Starbucks.

Forty minutes later, Lucas opens his apartment door, only to be attacked by a tiny blonde, "Hard day?" he asks.

"Asshole move to expose me like you did," Maya says before kissing his lips.

Lucas lifts her before deepening the kiss, "A little payback," he replies, caressing her lower back.

"Your Mom?" Maya asks while she kisses his neck.

"Working," Lucas replies, taking off one of his sleeves.

"Funny," Maya says, helping him get rid of his shirt, "Let's finish homework," she adds, taking off her shirt.

"God, I love you so much," He says and kisses her deeply.

.

"Ok, we finished 2 weeks of homework," Maya says, gently putting her bra, "Hook it please," she asks Lucas.

Lucas kisses her back and very lovingly hooks her bra, "You have the weirdest ways to name sex I've ever heard," he says.

Maya chuckles, "Yeah, like you had someone to compare me to," she says.

"Ah, touche," Lucas replies before pulling her back to his bed form her waist, "But in that case, you also have nobody to compare me with," he adds.

"So?" she asks, "I'm pretty happy with what you carry and how you use it," she says.

Lucas smile and takes a deep breath of her hair, "If you're trying to seduce me with compliments, I'm gonna warn you, it's working," he adds, before sneaking his hand between her legs.

"Look, Huckleberry, no matter how much I enjoy our homework sessions, we need to get our real homework done, I need better grades if I want to apply to some kind of scholarship," she adds before turning to face him and gently caresses his manhood.

"It's hilarious how you can say completely serious while you have my cock in your hand," he jokes.

"Well, there is a certain pleasure on getting your secret boyfriend hard with only your hands," she says before putting a peck on his lips, "Makes me feel powerful and in control," she adds.

"It's funny how I can dominate a bull, but against you, I'm just a puppy, and not even a Pitbull or a Doberman, I'm like, don't know, a Pug," he comments.

"Well, you're one hell of a cute Pug," Maya says before getting up from his bed again, "Now, seriously, I need help with my homework, the school one, so please, help me," she asks him.

"Fine," Lucas says after a few minutes, "So, Math or the Essay?" he asks while he puts his boxers.

"Essay, for some reason, I don't feel good thinking about that Essay," she says.

"Yeah, me too," Lucas says, "But this is not about us, this is about fictional characters who hide things," he adds before kissing her cheek.

"Don't you feel bad for her?" Maya asks him, "I mean, she is your ex," she adds.

Lucas takes a deep breath and puts his shirt over, "Can I be frank with you?" he asks.

"Please," she says.

"It's hard to feel bad for her when I'm this happy with you," he says before picking one of her hands and put a soft kiss on it, "Yes, I do care for her, and for her feelings, but I'm happy, even when I have to be happy inside one of our homes and for a certain amount of time," he adds.

Maya gently puts her hand on his cheek, "You have to be the compensation God send me for being abandoned by my father," she jokes.

Lucas looks at her seriously, "You know I hate when you joke about that," he says.

"Sorry," she apologizes.

"Don't," Lucas replies, "I know that's how you deal with my sappiness," he adds before kissing her, "So, four pages Essay," he says.

"Here," Zay says, giving Isadora her coffee.

"Thank you," she says before taking the lid and pouring three sugar bags.

"So, what do you need for me?" Zay asks.

"Just to confirm a few things," Isadora answers.

"Well, hope I can help," Zay replies.

"I have to warn you first," Isadora says before mixing her coffee, "Everything we're gonna talk here, will never leave my mouth, so please, be honest with me," she adds.

"Ok," Zay says, a bit nervous, "Seems serious," he adds.

"It is," Isadora replies, "First, did you notice that Lucas has a clearer skin, right?" she asks, setting a statement.

"I know where this is going," Zay replies, giving her a nervous look.

"So, it's true," Isadora says.

"Can't confirm or deny anything," Zay replies.

"I asked you to be honest with me," she says, appealing to his words.

Zay puts four bags of sugar in his tea, "Honestly, I don't know what you want me to tell you," he says, focusing on his tea.

"Till when you're gonna protect everyone from the truth?" Isadora asks.

Zay looks at her, a bit mad about her attitude, "Why you talk like I'm the bad one in this movie?" he asks, "Suddenly, I'm a bad guy because I want to protect my friend and his right to choose?" he asks.

"You're not bad for doing that, you're 'bad' because you're keeping everyone in the dark," Isadora answers.

"That's when you're wrong," Zay says before taking a sip of his tea, "I know exactly where my loyalties are, I'm not keeping nobody in the dark, or lying to anyone," he adds.

"Bubbles is in love with Lucas," Isadora argues.

"So?" Zay asks, "Just because she's in love with him, he's forced to be her partner?" he asks this time, "Forgive me for my manners, but that's complete and utter bullshit," he answers his own question.

"But she's our friend, she deserves the truth," Isadora keeps pushing.

"I agree, it's our friend," Zay concedes, "But you're dead wrong if you think I'm gonna put her over Lucas, not now, not before, not ever," he states.

"Wow, who might think your guilt might drive you this far for him," Isadora says.

"Guilt, friendship, sense of making us even, call it whatever you want," Zay says, taking another sip of his tea, trying to keep his composure. He keeps silent for three minutes before breaking it, "I might be friends with everyone here, but don't forget that above all of that I'm still Lucas best friend," he adds, "And if he didn't want to tell me, his best friend, probably the only person besides Maya who will have his back no matter what, who am I to reveal his secrets?" he asks.

Isadora takes a sip of her coffee and stays silent with Zay for a few minutes, "Bubbles, she's gonna be crushed," she says.

Zay takes a deep breath, "What you want me to tell you?" he asks, "Do I feel bad for her? Yeah, I do, but keeping her safe it's not my job," he states, "Hell, it's not even your job, your job it's to protect your strongest link, and that's Farkle, not me, not Lucas, not Maya or Riley," he explains his point of view, "I should be having this conversation with Farkle, not you," he adds.

"Why?" Isadora asks, "Just because it would make it easier to lie to him?" she asks this time.

"Yeah, sadly, he's too naive and too good for this world, people lie, even his friends," Zay says.

Isadora and Zay keep silent for a few more minutes. Isadora finally breaks it with a chuckle, "I can't believe you will throw every one of us under the bus to save Lucas," she says.

Zay chuckles at her affirmation, "I'm his best friend, I owe him," he says.

"To heartbreaks," Isadora says, lifting her paper cup.

"To heartbreaks," Zay replies.

Zay is and will always be Lucas best friend, you can’t change my mind.