#our parents don't even know she went there they're sound asleep

[sissylittlefeather]

If I Can Dream: Chapter 7

A/N: A Christmas surprise! Two chapters in one day! Merry Christmas, friends! Masterlist.

Summary: It's 1975 and Jo Bellamy has been in love with Elvis for 20 years. She doesn't even care that they haven't met yet. All she needs is a chance and she's determined to get one.

But Elvis doesn't feel much like Elvis anymore. What happened to the man he used to be? He's pretty sure he's long gone.

Can a chance encounter with Jo change the ill-fated trajectory of his life?

Warnings: none, this is pretty damn fluffy.

Word count: ~3.2k

“That's a fuck yes, babe.” He giggles and tickles her sides excitedly and they laugh together on the big-enough couch, naked and unafraid of the future… for now.

******

That night passes with Elvis and Jo talking for most of it until they finally fall asleep in bed all wrapped around each other just before sunrise. He's convinced her to stay home from work, so they make love when they wake up and then lay in bed until almost 3pm. Finally, she drags him out of bed and they spend the rest of the day in the kitchen. She has the idea for them to make Christmas candy and a gingerbread house. What they really make is a mess, but they have a blast licking icing and chocolate off of each other. They settle into the TV room with It’s a Wonderful Life on the projector and the candy they made that Elvis hasn't eaten yet. All in all, it's a beautiful day together and when they settle in bed at the end of it, Elvis is ready to spend every day like that. He mentions something to that effect to Jo and she makes a nervous sound.

“What's that sound for, Tink?” She looks at him with an awkwardly pained smile.

“I have to go home tomorrow.”

“Home?” He's confused, thinking she's already at home.

“To see my parents, I mean. For Christmas Eve.”

“Tomorrow is Christmas Eve?” She rolls her eyes and giggles.

“Yes. It is. And my parents always have this big holiday party for the family.”

“Oh.” He gets a little sad thinking that he'll have to spend the next day without her.

“You could come with me.” She says cautiously. Elvis makes a thinking face.

“How many people?”

“Just my mom and stepdad and my step-siblings. You've already met my brother-in-law and niece. I also have a stepbrother who is married with 3 kids. My aunt and uncle will probably be there too. They don't have any kids, so they usually come to our holiday things. But that's all. Not a huge crowd.” She smiles and looks at him hopefully. He grumbles, knowing that he's going to have a hard time telling her no.

“Okay. I already went to a wedding and survived. I guess I can go to a Christmas party.” She squeals and snuggles into his chest.

“I love you so much.” He wraps his arms around her and kisses the top of her head.

“I love you too, Tink.”

******

Elvis stands in his closet in his robe, staring at the rows and rows of clothing. They're late and he knows it, but he has no idea what on earth he should wear to a family Christmas party. All of his clothing is either formal paparazzi-worthy outfits, jumpsuits, clothes that don't fit him, or tracksuits. None of those seem appropriate for where he's supposed to be going right now. He hears Jo's voice as she calls out to him.

“Elvis! Come on, babe, we're late!” She's taken to calling him ‘babe’ as often as possible and he really likes it. But today it just seems to add to his anxiety. He feels like he's going to let her down or embarrass her no matter what he chooses. She finally finds him in the closet near tears. “Babe, what's wrong?”

“Nothin’, honey.”

“Then why aren't you dressed yet? We gotta go.” She clicks her tongue to indicate they need to hurry. He just closes his eyes and hangs his head. “What is it? Talk to me.”

“I don't have anything to wear.”

“You literally have more clothes than anyone I've ever-”

“I don't have anything right to wear.” He slides his glasses off and pinches the bridge of his nose. She wraps her arms around his waist and squeezes him.

“Anything you wear will be perfect.” He looks down at her in her red dress with her makeup perfect. She looks so young and pretty, like she doesn't belong with him at all.

“Tink, I should probably just stay here.” She pulls away from him and looks up at him with a frown on her face. “Now don't go makin’ that face.”

“You told me you'd come with me.”

“Honey, I've just been thinkin’ and I don't-”

“Do you love me?” She puts her hands on her hips.

“Of course I do.”

“Do you trust me?” He sighs deeply.

“Yes.” She turns to the rows of clothing and picks out a black silk shirt with puffed sleeves, a red scarf, and some black pants and hands them to him.

“There. You can pick your belt and jewelry.” It's an outfit he never would've put together himself, but once he gets a gold belt and necklace on with his favorite black and red jacket, he's satisfied. He's especially pleased when he stands next to Jo in her red minidress with black tights and boots. They look like they belong together now and he smiles. There's just one thing missing. He walks over to a drawer and pulls out a box with a red bow on it.

“I was saving this for tomorrow, but I think you need it tonight.” She takes the box and looks up at him. She's no spring chicken, so she recognizes a jewelry box when she sees it. He watches as she opens the box to reveal a gold necklace with the letters ‘TLC’ around a lightning bolt, the whole thing encrusted in diamonds. “What do ya think?”

Jo is speechless as she looks at the necklace. She's never had anyone buy her such a lavish gift. Her voice comes out as a whisper.

“It's too much.” He tips her chin with his knuckle to make her look up at him.

“Nothing is too much for you. I can never repay you for what you've given me. So please, take the necklace and anything else I give you.” She nods slowly and he takes the necklace out of the box and puts it on her. He pulls back and whistles. “It suits you.”

“It's beautiful. Thank you.” She touches it with her fingertips gently.

“It goes with mine.” He pulls the gold ‘TCB’ necklace out for her to see. She’s seen it before, but never really given it much thought. “It tells people that you go with me.”

She wraps herself around him again and pulls him into a deep kiss. He holds her close and hums as he presses his lips to hers. When they finally break the kiss, he sighs.

“Alright, let's go. Meetin’ my girlfriend’s family. I'm not nervous at all.” She looks at him funny.

“Girlfriend?”

“Well, yeah. What did you think you were?” She shakes her head and shrugs.

“I didn't want to assume.” He grabs her and tickles her sides and she giggles, trying to get away.

“You're mine, Tink. If you've forgotten, I'm happy to throw you on this bed and remind you.”

“Later. Right now I have to take my boyfriend to meet my family.” She takes off running down the stairs and he follows her as quickly as he can, all the way to her car, where he pins her against it and kisses her, his tongue slipping into her mouth as he presses his hips against hers.

“You sure you don't want me to have Jerry drive us?” He whispers in her ear, his breath hot against her skin. She whimpers, but tries to resist.

“No, babe, your cars are too obvious. People will follow us. We need to be in my clunker.” He looks at her car. It really is a sad excuse for a vehicle.

“Well, okay then.” They slide into the front seat and he ducks so that the people at the gates don't see him.

******

When they pull into the neighborhood where Jo's parents live, Elvis looks at her in shock. It's one of the fanciest neighborhoods in Memphis with big, old houses that are both historic and beautiful. His jaw drops when she pulls up in front of a massive colonial mansion and stops the car.

“This is where you grew up?!” She laughs.

“God, no! This is my stepdad’s house. His family owns a lot of real estate in Memphis and he's some bigwig at a bank. They got married when I was 17.”

“Oh…”

“No, I grew up in an apartment with my deadbeat dad and my mother working two jobs to make ends meet. She's living the American dream now.” He nods and then leans in and kisses her cheek.

“So are you.” She looks at him and giggles.

“No, babe, I'm living a goddamn fairy tale.” He chuckles. “Now, come on. We're already almost an hour late.”

At the front door, Jo's not sure who is more nervous, her or Elvis. She holds onto the bottle of wine they've brought with a vice grip. Finally, her stepdad answers the door.

“Jo! You made it. And you brought… company…”

“Hi George. This is Elvis.” To his credit, her stepdad adjusts quickly and shakes Elvis’s hand without any further ado. As they make their way through the foyer, George grabs Jo.

“Your mother is going to have heart failure.” She looks at him with her eyes wide.

“Oh God. Let's hope not.” She runs to be in front of Elvis when he walks into the dining room where everyone is seated for dinner.

“Jo’s here!” Her mother jumps up from the table and runs to her, grabbing her in a hug. “And who have you- oh my God.”

“Hello, ma'am, I'm-”

“Elvis Presley.” Jo’s mom holds her hand over her mouth as Elvis stands there awkwardly. Everyone at the table is silently staring and Jo starts to panic. Maybe this was not a good idea.

“Elvis!” Amy launches herself out of her chair and onto Elvis like she's known him her whole life. He catches her in a hug.

“Hey, kiddo.” That seems to jar Rob back to reality as well, so he stands and shakes Elvis's hand.

“Nice to see you again. This is my wife Christine.” The introductions finally begin and everyone seems to relax significantly except Jo's mother. She's still starstruck, so Jo goes over to her.

“Mother. Please calm down. He's just a person.”

“A person you've idolized for two decades! How did you… when did… he…?” She stumbles over her whispered words.

“We met at one of his shows. We've been together since then. Now, please calm down.” Jo doesn't mention that the show was less than two weeks ago. Elvis walks back over to them, hoping he can put her mom at ease. He puts his arm around Jo's waist and holds his hand out for her to shake. She looks up at him and puts her hand in his and he promptly lifts it to his lips and kisses it.

“Elvis, this is my mother, Rose.” Jo looks up at him and he smiles.

“It's a pleasure to meet you, Rose. Thank you for raising such an amazing daughter.” Jo’s mother giggles.

“Oh! Aren't you sweet? Thank you. It's lovely to meet you.” Once the initial pleasantries are finished, Rose and the rest of the room settle back into dinner as Elvis and Jo take their seats. The meal passes with good food and polite conversation that gets more and more comfortable as each minute passes. By the end of it, everyone is talking and laughing with Elvis like they've known him for years. Jo is impressed with his ability to blend in, and honestly he is too. But he reminds himself that he's just a person like they are. There's no reason he should act any different. He glances over at Jo every once in a while and smiles, his body filled with a kind of golden warmth when he looks at her.

“She's really something, isn't she?” Jo’s aunt Carol asks, catching Elvis as he stares at her.

“She really is.” He looks at Carol and smiles.

“She's been through a lot. It's nice to see her happy. My sister did her best to raise her, but they didn't have it easy. She's done well for herself.” Elvis nods, not sure where this conversation is going. “I'd hate to see her go through more. She deserves something real.”

Ah, there it is.

“Ma'am, I assure you, I have no intentions of hurting her.” Elvis looks at Carol seriously.

“We never intend to hurt people, do we?” Jo had mentioned that her aunt was tough and protective of her to a fault. This must be what she meant.

“No, I suppose not. But I'll say this: I've never loved anyone the way I love her. If I ever hurt her, it'll hurt me more.” Carol gives him a small smile and pats his hand.

“Good answer.” She moves the conversation to a different topic and he catches Jo's eye. Her eyebrows raise when she sees who he is talking to, but he gives her a warm smile and she's reassured. For a couple that's only been together for a matter of days, they communicate without talking pretty well.

The evening passes fairly quickly with the children opening presents and the adults drinking hot apple cider and eggnog. At one point, Jo's sister-in-law looks around the room for someone to take her six-month-old while she deals with something else for the kids. Without hesitation, Elvis takes him and holds him in his lap, playing with him and talking to him quietly.

“He's good with kids.” Jo’s stepsister Christine comments.

“Yes, well, he's a dad.”

“Mhmm. He only has the one daughter?” Jo answers without taking her eyes off of Elvis.

“Yes, Lisa Marie.”

“Have you met her?” She turns to look at Christine.

“No. I suppose I will tomorrow, though.”

“Sounds like it's pretty serious, then.” Amy runs up to her mom and Christine wipes the chocolate off of her face before she runs away again.

“Yeah… you could say that. He asked me to move in with him.”

“Oh, my. Is that what you want? A life with a rock star?” Jo purses her lips.

“I want a life with him.”

“You don't want a family?”

“Why couldn't we have a family?” Christine shrugs.

“He already had one and it didn't work. I'd think he's done with that part of his life. And I've read that he-”

“I'm going to stop you right there. Whatever you've read is probably not true. And as far as a family goes, he and I are all the family I need.” Jo means it when she says it, but the second she does, she starts to wonder if it's really true. Christine nods.

“As long as you're happy.”

“I am.” Jo takes a big swig of cider.

“Then I'm happy for you.” Just then, Elvis makes some face at Jo as one of the little girls puts a Christmas bow on his head and she almost giggles openly. Christine catches the interaction and puts her hand on Jo's shoulder. “He seems like he really loves you.”

“He does. And I love him.”

“Then that's all you need to know.” She pats Jo's shoulder and then Amy is back and she has to go get her something in the kitchen. Jo turns back to Elvis where he bounces her nephew on his knee and talks very seriously to her other two nieces, his hair now full of bows. Would he be willing to have more children? She's always thought of herself with kids someday, but is Christine right about that part of his life being over?

******

When the evening concludes, Elvis and Jo say their goodbyes and head back to her car to drive home. He's in the driver’s seat this time and she's leaned against his shoulder happily.

“Hey, honey, can we take a quick detour?” She sits up a bit and nods.

“Sure, babe.” He turns down a road that will lead them out to the country, but not really towards Graceland. About twenty minutes later, he pulls the car off of the road and parks in a small clearing.

“You got a blanket in the trunk?” She nods, glad that she does. He hops out and fetches the blanket. “Come on, Tink.”

She grumbles and slides out of the car. He wraps the blanket around his body and pulls her to him so that the blanket covers her too.

“Now look.” She looks out where he points and gasps. They're on a bit of a hill, so she can see the whole field below them filled with fresh, virgin snow. Above that, the moon is almost full as it glitters on the blanket of white crystals. The image is breathtaking and she almost cries with how pretty it is.

“It's beautiful.”

“This is one of my favorite spots. I love how many stars there are out here. And especially when there's moonlight on the snow.” She's quiet for a bit as she takes in the scenery. Then she whispers.

“Thank you for sharing it with me.” He squeezes her and presses a kiss to her temple.

“I want to share everything with you.” Jo sighs. There's been a question burning inside her since she talked to Christine at the party.

“Can I ask you something?” Her heart flutters in her chest. It's not even what she thought she wanted, but being with him is different.

“Sure, Tink.” She hesitates for a moment, scared that this might be another thing that comes between them. He has the same fear, even though he doesn't know what she's about to say. Taking a deep breath, she continues.

“Would you want to have more kids?” He leans down and turns so that he can look her in the eye. She waits anxiously as he searches her face. At first, he's reluctant to make promises, but then the image of them in front of the fireplace with their little family passes through his mind and he knows his answer.

“Yes, honey. I'd love for us to have a little Elvis Junior or baby Jo runnin’ around.”

“Really?”

“Of course, Tink. I love kids and I love bein’ a daddy and I think you'd make a great mama. If it's what you want, we'll have a dozen kids.” She giggles.

“I think one would be plenty.”

“Whatever you want, honey.” He wraps the blanket tighter around them and she lays her head back on his chest. Fat snowflakes start to drift down from the sky as they stand there together.

Jo is as happy as she's ever been living her fairy tale. But she can't help the niggling thought that this might all be over as soon as he leaves for tour or Vegas. He's saying all the right things, but does he mean them long term? She's never been one to worry about the future, but the thought of losing him makes her stomach turn over. Still, right now he has his arms around her and she's perfectly content to stay there forever, looking out over the untouched snow with the moonlight sparkling like diamonds.

******

Almost the end!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Taglist:

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[moonchild-in-blue]

okay sister's back from the hospital i can go to sleep now muwah bye 💙

[elvendria]

NOTICING YOU - e.m x fem reader Part Three

tw: Reader is a cynic who doesn't believe in love, Claudia Henderson isn't the best :/ (is that a trigger? idk.), big sister acts like a parent, smoking, insomniac (??kinda if you squint??), swearing, jealous!Eddie (if you squint), pet names

word count: 4710

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part one part two part three part four part five part six part seven

Y/N'S POV

"So, were you able to get through to someone to get your car fixed?" Mom asked. I told her the conversation I had over the phone with Eddie and explained that he'd be here first thing in the morning to collect the car and take it to the shop. 

"First thing? But they're always swamped with cars on a Saturday. I thought you wouldn't get seen till Sunday, Monday at the latest." Mom said. 

"Same here," I attempted to stifle a yawn but failed. "I've to be up early so uh... goodnight." I turned around and walked away.

I was never close with Mom, and then things kicked off with Dad. 

I guess it was then I realised I wasn't as close with either of my parents as I had thought.

I padded down the hall towards Dustin's room in my bare feet, the feeling of the cool wood underneath my feet relaxing me with each step. I passed by my room to see Tews sitting on my bed cleaning herself. I hate that cat and I have no idea why my mom loves it so much. 

That's not to say all cats are bad, I just don't like this particular cat. 

Knocking on Dustin's bedroom, I waited to hear him say "It's open," before opening it slightly and sticking my head around the door. 

"Goodnight boys," I smiled at them, all gathered around together talking about god knows what.

 Mike, Will and Lucas will always feel like little brothers to me, I've known them so long. It felt weird seeing them as a trio, and a part of me missed seeing Will around the place. I hope he's happy in California. 

"Night Y/n!" 

"Thanks for letting us stay over!"

"Sleep. Soon." I said pointedly, "Just because you're in high school now does not mean you are to be up all night. You'll just end up being super tired tomorrow."

"But can't we just have-" Dustin started. 

"Dustin the last time you had coffee you went nuts. Not happening again under my watch." I said, leaving the room

"Technically we're under Mom's watch," He mumbled back defeatedly. 

I stuck my head back around the door, giving him a look that blatantly said 'Really? Moms' watch? Have you ever even met our mother?' before he groaned causing me to laugh as I exited the room. 

Sometimes I love to play the authoritative big sister card just to mess with him, it can really piss him off. 

I didn't know how what time 'first thing' was, I'm grateful and all but couldn't he be a bit more specific? Either way, I was going to need to get to sleep so I could wake up early. I set my alarm for 7:30 am, which isn't even a time that should exist on a Saturday morning, so I could get up and be ready for when he calls. I had switched off the handbrake and managed to push the car till it was outside my house. Could've done with Robin's freakishly strong arms but she had her Family Video shift, plus I'm fairly sure I earned a few muscles of my own. 

Changing into a pair of old biker shorts and an oversized misfits t-shirt, I crawled into my bed and lay on my side, willing sleep to come, but my head was so full of thoughts it was like there was no switching it off. I lay like that until I could hear everyone in bed, and the faint sound of my mother's snoring echoed through the halls. 

When I was certain that she was asleep, I snuck out of the house and sat on the swing bench on our porch, curling my knees up to my chest underneath my shirt and resting my head on them. 

There was something about the nighttime, the way the town went silent. As a kid, I used to believe that because it was so quiet, everyone would be able to hear the slightest noise you make. On nights like these, I sometimes wonder the same thing. 

Except now I know about science and the speed of sound, so the idea is a complete fantasy. 

Sitting on the bench, lighting up a cigarette from my stash that kept my hands slightly warm. I looked out at the sky, not seeing a single star. Not seeing anything but the faint glow of the street lamps from down the road. There was a faint breeze that wrapped around my ankles now and again, but other than that it was a warm night, unusually warm for October. 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I sat there until I could see orange streaks beginning to paint the sky. So much for trying to get some sleep. I unfolded myself from the swing and walked to my room, careful not to wake anyone. Checking my alarm clock, I saw that it was 7 am. I could try and get a 30-minute nap in but knowing me, I'd sleep past my alarm. 

I took a shower, scrubbing the smell of the night air off my skin. I wanted to stay in the shower, to feel the steam rise around me, but I didn't have the time. I turned off the water, wrapped my hair and body in a towel, and then made my way to my room to start getting ready. 

I debated drying my hair but decided I wasn't in the mood to deal with the frizz today (I never am). Pulling on a low-cropped white shirt, black ripped jeans and combat boots, I got changed and grabbed some cereal before sitting on the couch and reading. By the time Eddie pulled up, my hair was almost dry but still damp in places. 

The doorbell rang and I looked at my mother, not surprised to find her fawning over that stupid cat once again. I got up and answered the door, a part of me freaking out before remembering why he was here.

"Hi," I said quietly, fear washing over me as I suddenly realised this was my first time talking to Eddie, face to face. 

"Hey," he replied equally as sheepish. Was something wrong? Had I done something?

His eyes moved down towards my exposed waistline, and I desperately wanted to grab a hoodie to cover up.

He must've found the shitty brown carpet very fascinating because he couldn't seem to look away from it. "So the truck is parked out front, I've hooked your car up to it and everything, I just need you to come down to the shop to fill out some stuff." He told me. I figured I'd have to go to the mechanics at some stage today, I just didn't think it would be so soon.

"Do you want a coffee or something before we go?" I pointed my thumb towards the kitchen, the mannerisms that my grandmother drilled into me coming into play again. He looked up, our eyes holding each other and suddenly I felt like there was a magnetic in each of his eyes, drawing me in closer. 

From where we were standing you could see beside the kitchen, where my mom was sitting there, talking to Tews like it was a human baby. 

"Uhm, maybe some other time?" He said, suppressing a grin.

"Yeah sure," 

Had I just 'yeah sure' d the idea of coffee with Eddie Munson? 

"I'll grab my mom's car keys, just hang on two seconds." I turned towards the living room where my Mom was sitting, combing the cat with an old comb of mine. 

"Um, there's room up the front of the truck if you want to ride up there with me?" He asked me, "It might be a bit easier." 

I turned one more time to look at my mother, who was now singing lullabies to this freaky cat before agreeing.

God, I miss Mews. Now that was a cat who did not like to be coddled.

Just as I was about to pull the door behind me, my mother called out. "Remember you're trying on dresses for homecoming this afternoon! We'd better hurry or all the good ones will be sold out!" 

My heart dropped and I wanted to strangle her. I prayed to whoever was up there that Eddie hadn't heard her.

I threw my book bag over my shoulder, I never liked to leave home without it. He opened the car door for me and waited till I was in okay before running to check that everything was hooked up properly. While I was waiting for him, I sat noticing all the little details in it. Things like his pack of cigarettes and a lighter, or a few jumbled-up mix-tapes sitting in the glove box and in the pockets on the driver-side door. A black bandana was thrown across the dashboard, most likely the one that Eddie carries around all the time. 

What surprised me most was the pack of hair ties hidden underneath his rolling papers. Although I guess when you have as much hair as he does and work as a mechanic, tying it up is more of an occupational precaution.

He opened his door and threw off his coat before jumping in. He grabbed a hair tie and pulled his hair back, and I tried my hardest not to look as every muscle in his arm flexed. Made all the more visible by his grey muscle shirt, his tattoos on full display.

"Buckled up?" He asked me, I nodded as I closed the seat belt around myself. He did the same and then started up the car. He drove with one hand on the wheel and another on the gear stick, right next to my knee. Every so often there'd be a bump in the road and his knuckles would graze against my jeans or my exposed knee, sending off shocks from where he touched me. 

The silence was deafening, the only noise coming from the metal music on his radio. It was a bunch of different bands which made me think it was a mix-tape. I was going to say something, compliment the music, but Eddie beat me to the punch before I could open my mouth. 

"So, you're going to homecoming?" His eyes were fixed straight ahead on the road. There was a tone to his words that I couldn't quite decipher, almost nervous.

"Um. Yeah," I fidgeted with my hands in my lap. "last year and all that, figured I'd see what all the fuss was about while I still can."

"And uh," His grip on the steering wheel tightened, his eyes unwavering from the road ahead, "and do you have a date?"

My chest tightened and I suddenly felt like I couldn't breathe given the thickness of the air around us. 

"No, it's just me and Robin," I said lowering my head, suddenly very fascinated by my hands, "We'll probably both just sit on the bleachers till 10 pm before figuring out some way home."

"Good," he muttered quietly, almost as if he didn't want me to hear him. I had so many questions, but a few stuck out in my mind. 

 Was he happy I wasn't bringing a date? Or that I wouldn't be dancing?

"Are you going?" Why had I asked that? 

"No, it's uh," He chuckled slightly, "Not really my scene,"

I don't know why my blood felt cold and my heart sank as he said this, but they did. 

 Master of Puppets by Metallica came on, and I started tapping my foot quietly, letting the questions and feelings fade with every strum of the guitar. Dad hated this song, but I always thought it was a good one. Hearing it again after so long caused goosebumps to make their way across my skin.

"Come Crawling Faster,"

I thought I was singing under my breath, but that last line came out louder than expected. I sat there and prayed he hadn't heard me. 

"Obey Your Master," He sang back, a smirk plastered on his face. 

His voice sent tingles down my spine and makes the hair on my arms stand upright, leaving me with goosebumps all over my skin. He was so close to me that I was almost certain he could feel the tension rising within me. 

He looked like he was going to say something, but then we turned onto the gravel path leading up to the mechanics, and the moment was gone.

Why does he make me feel like this, it's not like I have a crush on him or anything. Crushes are for girls in middle school and people with their heads in the clouds.

Maybe it was just because he was helping me out with the car. Yeah, people find plumbers and firefighters hot all the time, it's just because they're providing a service. 

Not that I find Eddie hot. I mean he is very attractive, and when he stretches his arms it makes me feel all weird inside, but I am most certainly not attracted to Eddie. 

The truck came to a halt outside the workshop. Eddie jumped out of the truck and rushed around to my side just as I was opening the door. 

"Here, it's a bit of a step-down. I'll give you a hand." He said. I swung both of my feet out as he held the back of my arm with his large hand, and I would've been fine. 

But I'm me, and I have to fill my daily awkward quota.

I started to climb down, my back to Eddie as I side-stepped out of the van, the coldness of his rings sending mini shockwaves from where he held my arm and wrist when my ankle went from under me, making me fall sideways. 

I squinted my eyes, sure that I was going to hit the pavement. An absolute goner that was going to end up in the hospital before dying of pure embarrassment. But the ground never came to meet me. 

Instead, I was pulled tight against something, a pair of arms wrapped around my back and legs. It felt like all the breath had left my body, and a strong smell of cigarettes and sandalwood filled my nose. 

I opened my eyes as Eddie gripped me to his chest, looking down at me as he held me bridal style. I felt my breath hitch in my throat as his dark orbs explored my face. 

I don't know if he did it on purpose or not, but he rubbed his finger in circles across my knee where his hand gripped my leg. The air felt electric, almost as if it could shock us both if we moved. His arm was on my back and I was glad it wasn't a few inches lower.

I was almost certain his dark eyes flickered down to my lips and lingered for a second, before quickly returning to look me in the eye. 

We looked at each other in silence. I felt his hot breath fan my face and caught the smell of mint.  I was almost certain he was going to say something, but he just cleared his throat.

"Sorry," 

"Are you okay?" He said at the same time as me. 

"Oh uh. I'm okay." I stammered through my words, "Thank you." 

We looked at each other again, and a small part of me didn't want him to put me down, but that idea was quickly erased from my mind when Eddie cleared his throat again, gradually lowering me till I was on my feet. I could tell that the awkwardness I was feeling was mutual as we both shuffled our feet.

The workshop was on the other side of town, it was a long walk home without the car, and I didn't want to trouble Eddie with driving me home. But it was like he was reading my mind because the next thing he said was, 

"You should come in and sit down," He motioned to the desk and chair beside him, piled high with paperwork. "It's supposed to rain on and off all day. I'll drive you home after I take a look at this baby." He unhooks the car from the truck before pushing it into the shop.

"Oh, thanks. You don't have to." I replied, moving towards the desk and placing down my book bag,  desperate to keep the nerves out of my voice.

"My pleasure." He smiled.

 He bent into the driver's side, fiddling for something. 

"Oh, there's a knack for popping the hood,  here I can-" I started, but before I could finish he had done it, a small grin tugging at the corner of his mouth. 

Eddie looked at me, and suddenly the concrete floor became very interesting, "Just a bit of pressure and some elbow grease should do the trick." He says, climbing back out of the car. 

He opens up the hood and takes a look as I sit down and place my bag on my lap. I want to ask if he minds me doing homework, but I don't want to look like I'm ignoring him or being rude.  

"Ok so, " he started, and I suddenly felt a drop in my stomach. What if my baby was fucked, and I could never drive her again? What if all she was good for anymore was spare parts? I was so worked up about never being able to drive my girl again that I completely forgot about the guy inspecting her. 

My freak out must've been clear on my face because Eddie's face became very soft and gentle, 

"Hey, hey, hey, don't worry, it's only a faulty spark plug and wire casings. You're alignments a bit off and your transmission is failing, but it's nothing I can't fix for you. There are some other things here and there that I'll need to get some parts for, and no offence but your car is an older model so it might take a while to get them all." He gave me a small smile, easing my nerves slightly. Eddie sounded like he knew what he was doing, so clearly he did. Right? 

"I'll be honest, none of that makes sense," I said, as he walks around and pulls out the chair for me. He's surprisingly chivalrous, opening car doors and pulling out chairs. I don't know what I expected him to be like, but it wasn't this. "I don't think she's ever been looked at after Dad renovated her." I sat in the chair and wonder why I ever thought my dad was a reliable person as Eddie walks into what I assume is a storage closet. 

"Here," he says, handing me a radio and a box of tapes that were just around, "Pick out some music, I wanna see what you choose." He had put the car on a lift earlier and was in the process of raising her, a skateboard and toolbox beside him. Once he was happy she was at a reasonable height he dropped to his knees beside the board, then flipped himself over so he was lying flat against it, using it to push himself under the car. 

I was flicking through the mix tapes he had when one stood out to me. Dad used to play it for Dustin as a kid, which in hindsight seems a bit weird but at the time it made him laugh and dance like crazy. 

Rock You Like A Hurricane by Scorpions started to echo around the building, and I hesitantly pulled out my economics textbook and attempted to try and understand this nonsense they tried to teach us, while Eddie just silently bopped his foot along to the tempo. 

Silence passed between us as I attempted to do homework and Eddie tried to fix my car, the only sound surrounding us being the music from Eddie's radio. Once homework was completed I started on a piano lesson plan for Joanna Kelly, a girl who lived down the street from us, I gave her parents a discount given how nice they were to myself and Dustin growing up. 

When that was over, I slyly pulled out a math notebook and began to work out my expenses. Eddie could try and sugarcoat it as much as he wants, but I knew this service wasn't going to be cheap. I mean, needing to get replacement parts? It's got to cost at least $2000+, which is definitely more than I make teaching kids how to play twinkle twinkle and three blind mice. I'd landed a job over the summer at the Hawkins Hypnotic Record Store, but only as a way to save up for college.

Now I'll have to apply for scholarships if I want any hope of getting into somewhere decent. That meant taking on more extracurriculars and writing a killer college essay. 

Ms Kelly had advertised on the intercom the other week about finding someone to help out in the front office for extra credit. Looks like I was going to be taking her up on it.

 I'm barely going to have time to breathe let alone sleep. 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Listening to Eddie banging and crashing around the car had me nervous, but only a small bit. Eddie knew what he was doing, his uncle didn't seem like the kind of guy to give Eddie a job based on familial connections. 

Suddenly Eddie comes flying out from under the car, grease and oil covering his face and sweat glistening along his arms, his tattoos practically shining. 

I was so wrapped up in my own thoughts about how much this was going to cost me that I didn't even notice him talking to me. 

"Hey, Y/n?" He asked with a touch of confusion, "Hellooo?" 

My head snapped to look at him, his voice bringing me to my senses.

"Sorry, I was lost in my own mind. Worrying about stuff y'know?"

He rubbed the grease off his face with a cloth and a soft grin, his eyes closed. I took this moment to examine him a bit further. He looked like he had strong arms, and his tattoos were kinda impressive and cool. I heard he paid his friend a 3 months supply of weed, and they did them with a pin and some type of ink. 

But I don't know if any of that is real.

"What does a pretty girl like you have to be worrying about?" 

Pretty girl.

The words bounced around my stomach before settling between my thighs. I squeezed them together as if on instinct, the words rolling over my skin like waves.

I remained silent, not too sure how to answer that, my mind was blank as I tried to ignore the sudden throbbing I felt.

A few moments pass by and Eddie sits up and looks at me, his hair coming loose from the hair tie.

"Hey, could you pass me the wrench? It's on the counter over there, it's the one with the round-"

"I know what a wrench looks like Eddie, I'll grab it now," I said shuffling around to the counter to look for it, silently loving the way his name felt on my tongue

5, maybe 6 minutes pass, and I've no luck. I had handed him a wrench, but apparently, it wasn't the right wrench. So now I was back staring at a workspace full of stupid tools with stupid names. 

I hadn't even heard Eddie come up behind me until I felt his breath. 

"Here, let me help" He spoke softly, "It's the least I can do,"

I wanted to tell him that he was fixing my car, and it was the least I  could do to find the stupid wrench when suddenly his hand was on my waist as he moved to step beside me. His fingertips brushed off me like tiny flames searing into the exposed skin, and I knew what was coming next.

I tried to resist it, believe me. But I can't help it. I've never been able to, it's my number one weakness. I pulled my bottom lip between my teeth as I braced myself.

His fingers trailed along the base of my back. I managed to suppress the moan, but that was about it. Like always I arched my back and jerked sideways in a fit of the most unattractive laughs you can picture. 

Eddie didn't have to pull his hand away, I had already squirmed from his grip as he looked at me stunned. A toothy grin formed on his face as he crossed his arms. 

"What was that?" He said laughing slightly.

Looking at him laugh made me laugh more. It was like someone flipped my giddy switch. I turned to the countertop and bent over on it, determined to catch my breath with my hands clasped behind my head. 

"Oh god," I said breathlessly, "I'm sorry, I just have a really ticklish back."

I couldn't see his face, but when he spoke he whispered, 

"Heh, yeah," He said lowly, "That's definitely a first. I'll try not and accidentally tickle you in the future." I felt like he was grinning, but I was too embarrassed now to even look him in the eye. 

I nearly made a potential sex noise in front of Eddie Munson. 

After a bit of silence, I hear him say "Found it, it was a torque wrench I was looking for, sorry for the confusion."

His voice had become very soft, and once again we were wrapped in silence, only now it wasn't uncomfortable.

As the day went on, and while I was fretting over how I was going to pay for my car and most of the house bills, a few people came in to drop off their cars, barely exchanging words with the guy classed as the town freak. Eddie didn't look too bothered as they tossed him their keys before turning on their heel and walking away, but something told me deep down it annoyed him.

But what could I do? I doubt he'd want any consolation from me, he barely knows me. 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Well, from the looks of things, the repairs shouldn't take more than 3 to 4 weeks. Maybe 5." He told me, which downhearted me slightly, I mean a whole month without my car? Maybe more? That was a whole month getting the bus to school, adding an extra touch of hell onto the day. 

"Oh, okay. Would you be able to give me a rough idea of the price? It's ok if you can't, I really appreciate you doing this for me." I gave him a slight smile and watched curiously as he looked to the ground and walked behind the counter. He almost looked nervous. 

"It's not going to be cheap, as you probably guessed, but luckily for you," He released a breath that sounded like he had been holding onto it for a while, resting his fist underneath his face "Flattery works with me." 

I gave a small chuckle, relieved that he was easing the tension. 

"I'll write up a docket next time you're here, we can sort something out then." He said calmly, moving to sit back in his chair. Meanwhile, my heart had started beating a mile a minute. 

"Next time I'm here?" I asked curiously

"Yeah, next time you're free and I'm working on your car. It's kind of nice to have someone around who appreciates good music," He was flipping through papers on the countertop, and I was praying he didn't look up anytime soon and see the mixture of surprise and confusion on my face. He looked at the clock on the wall behind him and I saw that I had spent the whole day here, and it was almost 9 pm. 

"C'mon it's getting late. Plus now you definitely can't walk home, it's too dark. My car is parked out front, I'll give you a lift." He pulled his keys off the rack and threw on his jacket that he took in from the back of the van earlier. 

"Um, thanks. Means a lot." And suddenly I was back to tripping over my words in front of him. 

He likes having me around?

He appreciates my music taste? 

Edward Munson, what are you doing to me?

------------------------------------------------------------------

part one part two part three part four part five part six part seven

[dgcatanisiri]

So, I was in therapy this evening and brought up how as a kid in elementary school, so back in the mid-90s, I'd been tested for the gifted program, but was like just under their admission range, and that the part that kept me out was that I'd get distracted by like people outside the room, coming down the hall.

Which, y'know, now sounds more akin to something on the ADD/ADHD spectrum.

Which also led me to bringing up a particular instance in like sixth grade, where I had a stomach ache, and I went to the nurse, the nurse said there was nothing she could see as wrong but let me lay down, and I ended up falling asleep and ending up with a parent-teacher conference because "you're too old for naptime."

And now we understand that stomachaches are common signs of anxiety in kids, who don't know or understand that yet.

To say nothing of my experience in gym class, where, when the kids would pick teams, I was always dead last...

And it's just... It does make me think about how do we even set about making right the UNKNOWING hurts of childhood, the things done by the people who we are in no position to even question, who certainly weren't trying to cause harm, and if they had known better, they absolutely would do better, but regardless, the things were done, and, because they're done to children, leave scars and impacts on us for the rest of our lives as a result?

I mean, there is no good and simple answer to the question, obviously, but... It's frustrating how little it seems like anyone with the ability to try to do something actually make that attempt.

[sankta-starkova]

LETTERMAN

009; thanksgiving

previous chapter | next chapter | masterlist

summary: the one where ej and andy reunite after years when they're cast as love interests, finally rekindling their friendship and maybe getting something else out of it as well

wordcount: 1.5k

They all sat around in rehearsals as Nini and Ricky performed 'Start of Something New'

The bell went and EJ jumped up, cheering. Andy and Ashlyn, who were sitting next to each other, looked up at him confused.

"Sorry. I really love thanksgiving," he announced, everyone laughing.

"I know everyone is excited for the holiday break but I'm me and I have notes," Miss Jenn said with a laugh, "Your homework is to please go on vocal rest,"

"Dont mind me, I just came to return some missing items," Mr Mazzara said as he walked into the room to Andy and Ashlyn.

"Ashlyn, Andy, couldn't have our robotics team co-captians going home without their binders," he said, handing the girls their stuff.

There was a lot people don't know about them, the girls did so many extracurriculars.

Andy and Ashlyn were in the robotics club, drama club and they were part of the Salt Lake Renaissance Fair. Ashlyn was also in the baking club and debate team whilst Andy did AV club.

They were all talking about Thanksgiving, listening to Miss Jenn talk to Mr Mazzara about food.

There was definitely something going on between them that clearly they hadn't talked about to each other.

"That sounds nice, my family have three protein courses and then everybody's asleep by 6," Carlos explained, Andy walking over to him, Big Red and Ashlyn.

"My folks start eating at dawn and they barely make it past the Macys parade,' Big Red said.

"My family eat and then we watch the entirety of Sound of Music," Andy explained with a chuckle, "My dad was Austrian so,"

She loved her family traditions but after her dad's death, it didn't make much sense anymore and the traditions just felt useless. At the mention of her dad, her face fell. She missed him like crazy and on occasions like this, it was made even worse.

"Well at least your folks are sticking around. EJs parents are treating my parents to a spa in Park City after dinner tomorrow." Ashlyn explained to them with a fake smile.

"If I could ring Cash Caswells neck just once in my life I would die happy," Andy explained, Ashlyn laughing unshamelessly, she didn't like her uncle either.

"Wait, do you guys wanna come over after dinner tomorrow?" Ashlyn offered.

"I never don't want that." Carlos said before he started to yell out, "Party at Ashlyns after thanksgiving tomorrow! Everyone's invited!

Everyone sat in Ashlyns house before Carlos walked in, "The party may begin!" he yelled out, holding something weird.

"You know this is a pot luck and not catering right?" Andy said as she helped him bring his box to the table. She'd only brought muffins.

"This is not food. This is something I've been waiting hears to share with the world. This is High School Musical, the Choosical!" He announced, opening the board game.

She looked at it in awe. It was so detailed, like monopoly on crack. There were hints to the original films everywhere and it was amazing.

"When I was a child, I wanted to go into the movie but the movie was on a screen so I made the next best thing," Carlos explained, a light blush on his face.

"So you've had this for ten years?" Big Red questioned, looking at it.

"And I've never actually played it,' Carlos admitted with a laugh.

"Okay, we'll totally play it," Ashlyn said, staring at all of the parts of the game.

"Okay, so there are two teams. The east high wildcats and the West High knights," he said, letting them sort each other out.

Andy watched as Ashlyn sat next to Big Red, the two getting cosy. When they heard the door go, the two girls raced to it.

They saw EJ who hugged both girls, "I brought some lobster dip. I double dibbed a few times and I feel bad about it but I feel great about telling you two," he explained.

"Hello, I'm Andy, this is your cousin Ashlyn, and you are?" Andy asked sarcastically, not knowing where this EJ came from or why he was being so honest.

"I'm trying out the whole honesty thing," he explained and she nodded, showing him where to put the food.

He placed it down, listening to her, "Honesty was never your strong suit EJ," she stated.

"I'm trying," he said, and she believed him

They walked back, everyone sitting down around the table. Andy explained everything about the game to EJ and he joined her team, East High Wildcats

"Okay, there are four basic categories. Trivia challenge, dance challenge, sync challenge and the glee challenge," he explained, "West High knights pick first,"

"Okay, we're gonna look for glee," Ashlyn said after the team confered.

Carlos picked up a card, clearing his throat, "As fast as you can, sing the lyrics to What I've been looking for to the rhythm of Getcha head in the game,"

They finally did it, everyone laughing at it. Andy thought it was amazing, the team bonding in this way.

She had never had this tight knit group of friends before, people that she could trust no matter what was happening.

"Congratulations, you move four spaces closer to center stage," Carlos said, the team cheering.

"Wildcats, take a spin," he said and EJ leaned over, spinning the thing before it landed on Bop to the top.

"Okay, pick one member from each team," Carlos said and they picked EJ and Ricky, "Your challenge is to stare at your partner and do the Sharpay and Ryan warm-up thing, without laughing or killing each other for sixty second,"

Carlos yelled go and they started doing it, very aggressively. It was shocking that they weren't laughing yet because everyone else was.

Andy though it was hilarious, a smile on her face as she watched them battle it out.

It was strange seeing her best friend and her old best friend fighting against each other for points. But she'd never been happy.

After what felt like hours of the most fun playing, there was a tie, "According to the rules, the only way to resolve a tie is with a lightning speed round of trivia questions," Carlos explained.

"Name both Jersey numbers Troy wears in the movies?" he said.

"Oh, uh, fourteen and ten,' Big Red said and everyone looked at him confused, "I watched it a lot,"

"How does Gabriella describe herself when she's complaining to her mum?" Carlos asked, reading out the next question.

"As the schools freaky genius girl!" Ashlyn replied everyone laughing at the joke she made afterwards.

"Wildcats, who's red tie does Miss Darbus compliment at auditions?" He asked, turning to them.

"Allen?" EJ called out and Andy laughed turning to him, not knowing how he got it right. But they were awkwardly close and he was surprised she hadn't caught him.

"I looked it up on my phone. I can't stop cheating and I'm sorry," he said and the West High knights won.

Carlos gave Gina the pin to signify her team won, everyone getting in for the picture before she got a call from her mum.

She put her mum on speaker, everyone yelling happy thanksgiving out, "Gina, honey, can you take me off speaker?" Her mum asked.

Gina walked out, obviously going to talk to her mum about something or other. The air became awkward and nobody quite knew what to say.

They all heard that Gina was moving, Ricky going out to talk to her. And on that note the party ended.

EJ gave Andy a lift home seeing as the party had ended earlier than assumed. But as they sat in the car, there was an awkward silence.

"Thanks for driving me home," Andy said, "EJ?"

She turned to see he was staring at her phone, and in his screen were hate comment about how being honest wasn't cute.

"Eej," she said after seeing that and he looked up, turning off his phone.

"Its nothing Andy," he said before opening the door to his car.

"Its obviously something, talk to me," she said, leaning over.

She knew him long enough to be able to tell when he was upset. There was something wrong, and it was more than his bruised reputation.

He sighed, "Its just, I want to be honest. And look where that got me, I've lost over 600 followers," he explained, running a hand through his hair in frustration.

"Those people don't matter, the people tonight who care about you matter," she said and he nodded his head, smiling at her.

The words were enough for him to realise that she was right, he didn't need any of these followers to like him. He just needed her.

"Thanks Andy," he said and the two laughed about the night, a comfortable silence between the two.

He laughed, smiling at her. He hadn't felt like this before, like someone completely understood him.

And as he watched her walk into her house, he wanted to run up and tell her how he felt. But he was confused, not knowing what he felt in the first place.

[steelthroat]

I was laying in bed and I felt like something was missing, like the position I was in was wrong, that there was something uncomfortable about it. And then I understood what the problem was; the lack of my cat.

Sunny always sleeps with me, laying on my legs, making it impossible for me to turn or change positions while I'm asleep. She provides warmth and a certain weight that I now feel as something habitual.

Before having this cat, I had no such "troubles," and Sunny is literally one door away from me, so that's good... but that made me reflect on something.

I had a bird, she died months ago, she had her own biological clock that she followed regardless of us humans who lived with her. We always put a "curtain" over her cage so that the light wouldn'tdisturb her... and that also led to us barely turning the lights on or doing so quickly because we were mindful of her comfort.

The bird isn't here anymore, but after a certain hour, it still feels weird turning the lights on and not having to mind about the little bird who's trying to sleep. The lack of the (very big) cage and colorful curtain that draped it make the living room feel different. We don't have to constantly sweep up all the seed husks which she consumed, and there's a lot more silence in our home.

That little bird sang quite a lot, and I used to whistle back at her and even tho I wasn't particularly close to her as I am with my cat now or my old goldfish, it was still our way of acknowledging each other's presence. She sang because that was her nature or because the weather was nice, I sang back because I liked the sound she made and I wanted to participate.

Now that sound doesn't exist anymore and never will again.

And it's bittersweet really, it doesn't make me particularly sad, it's just something that I know will happen again.

One day, a day as far as I hope it'll be, my cat will also die and I will lose that distinct warmth and weight over my legs at night. I won't get to hear her cheerful meowing every time I come back home, I won't get to pet her soft fur, I won't have to remind the fact that I have to give her more food, water, change her litter or brush her.

One day I will lose a lot more than just that, I will lose friends, my parents, people who were more or less close to me. People who left their marks on me, changed my habits, my way of living.

And then those little habits, those little things I did in response to the existence of something or someone will be slowly lost or will change.

As I don't mind keeping the lights on 2 seconds more one day I won't be able to call my parents and ask them how they're doing.

As some of the places from my childhood, the people, the situations don't exist anymore so won't last the the things I'm living/going though as of now.

And that's a weird thing, not inherently bad or good... just weird.

I recently visited a place who carried a lot of trauma, and even though in many years things had changed, the core of the place was the same. But I'd like to think that I am one of the things who changed. Neither that place nor its people have power over me anymore, I went there probably one of the lasts times ever to get my closure and I got it, or probably I'll come back in a few years and see again what changed and what didn't.

And it is weird thinking how everything changes but also some things never really do. Does that make everything meaningless or does this give them even more importance? I genuinely don't know.

But that's something I really don't know if I will get ever used to or understand. But that doesn't matter, does it? I'll just have to live and see for myself what changes and what doesn't, what the things and people I interact with are gonna leave me with going forward.

[anticomedygarden]

England's got a new queen! part 2

part one | ao3 link

-

When Alex wakes up, it is to an empty bed and the sounds of running water.

"Hen?" he calls, voice groggy. "What're you doin'?"

His gorgeous boyfriend walks out of the bathroom with a toothbrush in his mouth, dressed in a white t-shirt and black boxers. His bed head is off the charts - apparently, princes don't have to immediately make themselves up when they're on vacation. "Brushinteeth," he slurs around the toothbrush.

Alex's half asleep brain struggles to decide whatever the hell Henry just said. "Huh?"

Henry ducks back into the bathroom and spits. "Sorry. I woke up and couldn't get back to sleep."

Alex nods. "What time is it?"

"7:30."

A snort springs from Alex's mouth. "God, we're so bad at this." Even David was still asleep in his travel doggy bed on the other side of the room.

Henry finishes in the bathroom and climbs over Alex to kneel at his side in bed. "It's not our fault we've never done this before."

His breath is minty fresh when Alex kisses him. "We really haven't done this before," he realizes.

They've gone on vacation before, but that's always short weekend trips with some kind of schedule, or it's to the lake house where they relax, sure, but also try to cram in as much fun as possible.

Alex thinks the last time he went on a chill vacation like this was when his parents were still together. He can't even imagine how long it's been for Henry.

"As long as we're both up," Henry starts, "what do you want to do today?"

Alex pushed himself up onto an elbow. "I figured we could hit the trails, get some fresh air." It is what they came out here to do, after all.

Plus, it might distract him from the weird feeling he still has.

Everything's fine.

Probably.

Henry kisses the corner of his mouth. "That sounds great, darling."

-

When June wakes, it is to the sound of someone aggressively banging at her door.

She groans and rubs her eyes. It is too damn early.

"Come on, I know you're awake," her best friend yells through her door. "Let me in."

Slowly, she swings her legs over the side of her bed and pushes herself to standing. As she opens the door, she realizes she actually has no idea what time it is.

Then, when she sees Nora standing in front of her with an open laptop, the previous day comes rushing back to her.

God. She needs to call Pez. She needs call Bea. Lord, she can't even imagine what Bea is going through right now.

She needs to know that her brother and his boyfriend are safe.

She needs to know what the hell is going on.

Is it too much to hope that Catherine will be taking up the mantle come next week?

That probably sounds horrible, she thinks, but June had long ago stopped feeling bad about wanting Queen Mary out of the picture. Beyond what she's done to her own family, there are millions of families across the world suffering from her policies while she sits under a crown of stolen jewels on a throne of genocide and imperialism.

Based on general principle, that technically means Catherine isn't much better, but at least Catherine doesn't still believe in the purity of the Crown. She already has ideas in place to minimize their involvement in foreign affairs and start flipping the Tory run government. It's only a matter of time until she gets to implement them.

She brings her attention back to Nora. "What do you want?"

Nora breezes into June's bedroom and plops herself down on the bed, gesturing for June to come sit next to her. She does.

"I've been up since five doing a deep dive into British news," Nora says, because of course she has. "Obviously, everybody is covering the Queen and all that, so that was a dead end. What I did find through the comments, though, were a lot of people who hate the Queen. Like, a fuckton. She is not as popular as she thinks she is." Nora does something on her laptop. "From there, I narrowed the list down to people who live in the area and could plausibly have access to the Queen and figured out which of those people have actively participated in hate online such as chat groups."

June just sits there, blinking at her. She hasn't even brushed her teeth yet. She is not ready to hear all this.

Nevertheless, she says, "And?"

Nora spins the laptop to face her. "I found dozens of people. Seriously, people hate her, but what did we expect, you know?" Nora shrugs.

"Then why did you come banging into my room at-" she glances at her phone "-eight in the morning?"

"I wanted a second opinion."

June does a double take. "Oh?"

"Do you have any ideas on how else I might this person who may or may not exist?"

June thinks for a moment. "You could find the ones with violent pasts?"

Nora shakes her head. "With the way she's dying, it wouldn't be violent."

June throws her hands up in the air. "I'm out. Ask me again in an hour."

With that, she walks into the bathroom to finally begin her morning.

-

Alex shuffles the map in his hands, attempting to figure out where the hell they are, and realizes he hasn't had to look at a map since grade school.

"Let me see," Henry says.

"Did they teach cartography in prince school?" Alex asks even as he eagerly trades the map for the dog leash.

"Yes, actually."

"Of course they did."

While Henry studies the map, Alex takes a minute to look around. They haven't actually left the grounds around their cabin yet, so the scenery is mostly just trees and some rocks with a small campfire setting about 15 feet from the cabin. The cabin itself is a quaint little building, made of wood and looking almost exactly like a cabin one would see in a movie. There's even a chimney.

Henry turns around and points to a spot on the map. "We're right here. We want to get right here." He points to a different spot, presumably the top of the mountain. "The path goes through here." He drags his finger around the middle of the map.

"How long is that?" Alex asks.

"About 3 miles, so six altogether."

That's not too bad. He's been on runs longer than that.

"Kay, Cash, we're gonna head out," he shouts over to the bodyguard who is relaxing in a folding chair, sunglasses obscuring half his face.

"Have fun."

Alex turns back to Henry, water and snacks in his backpack clinking, and they start walking through the trees. He takes note of the time, 9:17.

Thankfully, the air up here isn't too hot yet, and Alex breathes it in. It's nice and crisp.

"This is nice," Henry says. "Better than the city."

"Yeah, I can't even smell any urine out here," Alex notes.

"Right, I forgot, that's how the niceness of cities is ranked. By the strength of the urine smell."

"Maybe it should be."

They keep going, incline riding steadily. At some point, the have to stop for David to poop, and Alex notes another advantage of being this far away from civilization: they don't have to worry about cleaning up dog shit.

Eventually, the trees give way to the rocks they were promised when they booked the cabin, and the incline gets noticeably steeper.

"Shit," Henry gasps as a rock shifts under his foot.

Alex would agree if he could speak.

He vaguely hears the sound of a creek and wonders how bad it would be to jump in fully clothed and attempt to swim to the top of the mountain, because this whole thing has really just turned into a game of how hard can he clench his thighs, abs, and ass?

Finally, Alex manages to gasp out, "Wait, I think David needs a break."

The dog in question looks back at him with his tongue lolling out from where he is gracefully hopping up rocks like he was made for it.

"Right," Henry pants, stopping immediately. "He has - little legs." Then, he collapses on his back across the rocks, limbs askew, breathing hard. David trots over to him and wags his tail.

"I didn't think," Alex starts, "that it would be-this hard." He crouches down until his knees hit the ground, then clumsily lifts the water bottle out of his bag. They sit in silence for a bit as they drink, and he fills up David's little portable dog dish.

"How far have we gone?" Alex asks once his breathing stops sounding like an asthma attack. The air really is thin up here. If only his blood would regenerate faster.

Now would be a really bad time to find out one of them is a carrier of sickle cell disease.

There's a shuffling sound of paper moving. "About 2 miles, I think."

Alex groans and wipes the sweat off his forehead. "There's still a whole nother mile of this?"

"Mhm."

"Ugh." He rises to his feet unsteadily. "Let's get going, then."

They slowly but surely start making their way up the mountain again, crossing rocks, a small stream, and even more rocks. At some point, Alex thinks he sees the top, but it turns out to be a small crest.

He checks his watch. 11:05. They've been at it for nearly two hours.

His three mile runs don't even take an hour. How is this possible?

"Doesn't Oscar do this sort of thing all the time?" Henry asks. His left is right against his side.

"I don't think the skill is genetic, babe." He really hopes Henry is done asking questions because he doesn't think he can keep answering.

"I was wondering if he gave you any tips on hiking in the mountains before you left."

"No," Alex gasps. "He didn't."

They don't talk much after that.

Finally, fucking finally, they reach the top of the mountain.

It is absolutely gorgeous.

Tan rocks cascade down a steep slope into a tree lined canyon, and multicolored foliage dots the hillside. The stream is even visible from where they are, and it cuts a pretty blue line through the greenery.

The thin air and exertion aren't what's taking his breath away anymore.

He turns around to see Henry bent over with his hands on his knees, and he hopes his poor boyfriend gets to appreciate this view at some point today because there is no way in hell they are doing this again before they leave in three days.

"Babe, come look."

Henry groans but trudges over, grabbing Alex's hand on the way. Alex isn't sure if it's because Henry needs the support or out of love, but either way, Alex enjoys it.

"It is beautiful, isn't it?" Henry says after a moment.

"Yeah," Alex agrees. "I think it's worth the walk."

"We still have to go back down, darling."

"Fuck."

-

A few hours later, June and Nora are once again in her bedroom, this time Nora scrolling through her Twitter feed while June attempts to draft a speech addressing the Queen's death.

"Nick Cannon says he's sorry to hear about Queen Mary," Nora says. "And Fox News thinks she had a heart attack after walking in on Henry and Alex fucking."

June snorts and opens her mouth to respond but is interrupted by her phone. "Pez is face timing."

"Ooh." Nora sits up and scoots closer to June so that she can see the screen.

The moment June presses answer, Pez says, "Hello, darling. What the hell is going on?"

June laughs. "You tell me, babe."

His blond hair is brighter than the sun behind him when he says, "Well, it seems to me that my best friend and your brother have run off at the worst possible time. Other than that, I don't know, because you are the first person to answer the phone since yesterday."

June winces. "Sorry. It's been pretty crazy."

"It's alright, darling," Pez says. He shifts, revealing the London skyline; he must be on his apartment's balcony. "I'm actually more worried for our royal friends for once."

June can't help but agree as the media dredges up every bit of Queen Mary's past amidst what will probably be her final days. It's almost a good thing Henry and Alex aren't here to see it, and June is thankful that Bea has such a good attitude toward her past because the media is not pulling punches.

"Hey, how is London right now?" Nora asks.

Pez grimaces. "See for yourself."

The camera flips around, and then June is seeing a giant mural splashed on the building across from Pez's of Queen Mary's face.

June gasps. "Dear god, that's horrifying."

"Imagine what it was like waking up to it," Pez says as he switches the camera back to selfie mode. "There's another thing."

His tone darkens enough that it makes June nervous. "What?"

"Well, I also woke up to a lovely letter in my mailbox explaining just how detrimental I am to the royal family. I've already sent it to security, but I wonder how it got to me in the first place." He doesn't look particularly upset about it, but June certainly is. His address isn't even pubic information, and all of his mail is supposed to go through security.

Suddenly, she's hit with an idea. "Hey, what if you came here?"

Pez looks up, but Nora beats him to it. "That's a good idea, actually. We have more security, and it would cut out part of the communication problem."

"Not that I wouldn't love to stay with you, but that's a bit of an overreaction. I get hate mail all the time-"

"But never when the reigning monarch might've been poisoned," June counters. "I'll go ask Mom." She hands the phone to Nora and walks out of the room in search of her mother.

She finds her in the Oval Office working on something or other because apparently the country doesn't stop just because someone might be trying to kill them.

"Hey, Mom, I have a question." It strikes her suddenly that she is essentially about to ask her mother if her boyfriend can stay over. It's about ten years too late, but it's kind of nice to finally have that normal teenage experience since her mother wasn't exactly around enough for that to happen back then.

Ellen looks up. "Yes, sugar?"

"Can Pez come over? He got some weird hate mail, and because of all this Queen Mary stuff, I'm just worried-"

"Yes, honey, Pez can come over," Ellen says. "Just make sure security knows."

"Thanks, Mom." She turns around to go back to her room, hoping Nora and Pez haven't hung up yet.

She finally has good news.

-

The second they're back in the cabin, Alex flops on the floor in the little foyer. "Ahh."

Henry toes Alex's side. "As much as I want to lay down and think about nothing but my burning calves, we must check for ticks and shower."

"Fuck ticks," Alex grumbles. "My blood is boiling; they'll all fall off within the hour."

"Alex." It can only be described as a whine, yet Alex recognizes the tone of stop making this hard thing harder. He is very familiar.

"Ugh. Fine." Painfully, he pushes himself up to standing and puts his arms above his head. "Undress me."

Henry gives him an unimpressed look. "We are both far too tired and sore for that."

"If you undress me, I'll check the dog for ticks," Alex offers.

Eventually, they manage to scour theirs and the dog's skin for ticks and move into the bathroom to shower. When they finally collapse in bed at - 5:30, jesus christ - Alex lets out a relieved sigh. "We should've stayed with Cash and fallen asleep in a lawn chair."

Henry chuckles, then groans. "My abs hurt."

"Baby, everything below my neck feels like it was deep fried." They both laugh for as long as their tired muscles allow it.

Then, Henry rolls over to look at Alex. "I did legitimately have fun today, despite the...horrors."

"Yeah, I'm glad we came out here." Alex grins. "Now, who's gonna go get the ibuprofen?"

Henry groans.

[ghstdoll]

"by defending your fiancé?" she looks at him, one hand coming to his cheek for a moment. "you have nothing to be sorry about...you can't make things worse by being a good man. if anything you made tonight eaiser to swallow and I don't want you to feel bad for what your mother does." she doesn't blame regulus, not even a little bit he didn't have to stand up to his mom the way he did but he chose to love salem more, it was nice to feel loved...she doesn't want him to feel guilty for that. she breathes deeply, shaking her head a little at his next words. "well maybe she should worry about her own marriage." salem mumbles coldly, a hint of annoyance in her voice. most people their age aren't even thinking of engagements and kids yet it becomes their problem when they end up in love with a situation neither really asked to be in to begin with. it should be a win for everyone involved but his mother acts like salem had stolen something from her.

she's so tired of crying and feeling weak, unable to stand up for herself when it comes to mother figures but she wishes she could hurt walburga and her own mom, make them feel the way they made her feel. she hates that regulus feels like he has to protect her from people they were supposed to look up to for guidance. it seems being pureblood isn't what they make it out to be, so full of anger and hate for what? to protect some bullshit idea that has never been proven by facts? testing family like machines to produce children and teach them the same values? she's not sure how she feels about all of this anymore but she would never say that outloud, the walls have ears and eyes and regulus is a death eater, she can't put her soon to be husband at risk when he's got no clue about how fucked things are fully yet.

he wipes away her tears and her eyes are fluttering closed, sighing deeply like she's trying to get out the weights in her chest. he tells her she's his top priority and it makes her feel good, she's never seen love before, her father didn't love her mother for obvious reasons and he went to jail before salem was old enough to realize how good family could be. the guys at school never loved her, wanting her for status or beauty and she didn't want them either, she had one close friend and her cat mage who was currently sound asleep on regulus's mattress, making himself at home like he owned the place. she smirks sadly as she breathes deeply nodding slowly. "you're mine too."

regulus hugs her again, as if he knows his warm embrace has healing powers for her hurting heart making her smile sadly to herself as her cheek presses against his exposed chest, feeling the warmth of him on her cheek as she nuzzles in closer. she simply nods at his words because she knows he would, especially after witnessing what happened down in the dining room just a few moments ago. regulus would fight for her even if it means souring a relationship with his mother.

she pulls back as she wipes one last year from her cheek, sniffling a little to keep her nose from running cause that just wasn't sexy. she feels her heart hurt a bit when he mentions their future kids, before regulus salem never thought about wanting to be a mother, it wasn't that she didn't want them but it's hard to think far into the future when you don't know if you'll make it the next day after your own mother uses a torture curse on you. she's safe now, at least what but she's allowed to think about things like this too and she realizes she would like it a lot but only if that family is with him. "I don't want to bring our children into violence and hate regulus..." she says softly a bit more serious in the moment. "I know I said I don't wanna break your family apart but if we're really going to bring kids in this world one day I don't want them to go through what I have or what you witnessed tonight. they're not going to be punching bags for our parents or anyone else and if that means having to figure out a way to distance ourselves from them after we're married....I just want you to figure out if this is the life with me you want cause I don't want you to resent me for it later." she says softly, fingers playing with the lace of his shirt. "I love you so much and I know you'll be the perfect father but I want better for all of us."

she sighs softly as he helps her turn around, letting him undo her top as she pushes her long dark locks out of the way,it makes her shiver a little feeling his gentle touch against her skin, eyes flickering around his cute space. she smiles when he calls her beautiful, still feeling the bitterness of his mom's comment it did help a little. "I don't look too much like a whore?" she teases a bit, taking the top off the rest of the way followed by her strapless bra, letting them fall as blue eyes flicker down for a moment with a sad smile. "thank you, I actually liked looking like a matching couple with you tonight." she says warmly, bending down to slide her thigh strap with the snake charm as well. "help me with my skirt too?" her voice soft just wanting to get out of these clothes now and into a warm shower.

"i made it worse," he responds quietly, because he does feel guilty for antagonizing his mother. "i'm just sorry. i didn't realize she would act this way... i mean, i've never been into anyone this much, so maybe it freaks her out somehow." it has to be more than just her fear of their image being ruined, because he's fairly certain that him fooling around at hogwarts just like everyone else isn't enough to do that.

he cups her face, tracing her skin with his thumbs as he shakes his head. "you didn't cause issues, angel. you tried to be diplomatic and nice but she still wanted to have a meltdown. besides... you're my family, now. you're about to be my wife and you're my top priority." he wipes a tear away, slowing tracing her cheek. she looks beautiful even when she's crying, her blue eyes bright.

going into his room is a relief, mostly because he knows they'll be left alone in their little world where it's safe now. he's relieved that salem agrees to his suggestion, already taking her shoes off. he listens to her words, green eyes searching her face as she looks away from him. "i know, baby," he murmurs, pulling her into another hug as his arms settle around her, holding her tight. "you could never ruin my life even if you tried. you only make it better by existing in it." words are soft against her hair, burying his face against it as he gives her a comforting squeeze. "you know i would do anything for you?" he murmurs, pushing his fingers through soft strands in a soothing motion.

she puts her little chin on his chest and it melts his heart, how sweet she is with him. "i want to grow old with you, too. see how beautiful you look in every part of your life... especially when we have kids." he smiles down at her, gently stroking her hair with careful fingers. "i love you... there's no one else in the world i would choose to be my wife. you're it for me, angel."

moving his arms, he holds her waist as he gently turns her around to face the other direction. his hands find the latch on her top, starting to undo it with slow movements. he brushes his fingers against the bare skin of her back, looking down at her body as he slowly undoes it. "you look perfect tonight," he reminds her quietly, starting to help her take the top off now that it's undone.

[wonderlandleighleigh]

joel finds out ab midge and lenny and joel acts like joel

(giving this one an M rating for some of Joel's saucier thoughts lol)

His parents have a New Years Eve party at their house in Queens, and Midge shows up at eleven o'clock with a date.

"Sorry I'm so late! I had a gig," she says, kissing her parents, and saying hello to Joel's parents and Mei and the other guests Shirley had roped into this thing.

The date hangs back. Tall and good-looking. Dark-haired.

"Mama, Papa, you remember Lenny." Midge says, smiling hopefully.

No fucking way.

No.

Joel's ex-wife has brought Lenny fucking Bruce as her New Years date.

How the fuck-what the fuck-

"Lenny!" Abe cries. He sounds so friendly. "Good to see you more on your feet than last time."

"Yes, thank you," Lenny says, having the good sense to look sheepish. "That was a very confusing morning, but I've finally recovered."

How the fuck does Abe know Lenny Bruce?

"Lenny and I were arrested together one time," Abe supplies without prompting, and Moishe looks deeply impressed.

"Why don't I get you kids some drinks," Shirley offers before flitting off.

Lenny gets dragged into a conversation with Abe and Moishe and Joel can only stare in deep, deep shock.

Lenny and Midge.

Midge and Lenny.

How long has this even been going on?

"How are the kids?" Midge asks him, and he stares at her as if she is a completely and utter stranger.

Midge looks gorgeous, of course. Black dress and perfect make-up. Her hair is a little out of place from the snow (unless his ex-wife was making out in the back of a cab with Lenny Fucking Bruce), but otherwise she looks as beautiful as ever.

"Hello?" Midge asks, concerned. "Earth to Joel Maisel."

"What?"

"Our children?" Midge asks. "They still exist, correct?"

"They're upstairs," Mei provides, stepping over. "Asleep."

Midge smiles gratefully. "Thank you. I think Joel died or something."

Mei snaps in his face, and he wrinkles his nose.

"I'm not dead!"

"If he were, he'd make a very interesting case study for my classes," Mei says. "How was your show, Midge?"

"It went really well!" Midge beams.

Does she smile that way for Lenny Bruce?

What else does she do for Lenny Bruce?

That thing with her tongue, where she-

"Drinks!" Shirley calls, shaking Joel far, far away from that thought.

Midge takes her. "Thank you."

"So how long have you and Lenny been together?" Mei asks. "He's handsome."

Joel turns to stare at his girlfriend. The traitor.

"A month?" Midge ponders, before turning to the man himself. "You! When did this whole thing start?"

"You and me?" Lenny asks. "I don't know. Back of the police cruiser, Steve Allen or Miami?"

They're speaking an entirely other language, and Joel feels his head spin a little. They speaking the language of a couple who knows each other far too well.

"Officially about a month," Midge supplies. "But we've been dancing around it since earlier this year when we met up in Miami."

Joel's mind goes haywire at all of this, and before he can stop himself, he's grabbing Midge by the arm, dragging her into the empty kitchen.

"Ow. Joel."

"Lenny fucking Bruce?"

"Joel-"

"You're dating Lenny fucking Bruce? You brought Lenny fucking Bruce to my parents home?"

Midge takes a breath, and lets him get all of this out of his system. She doesn't try to fight, she doesn't try to explain herself. Technically, Joel knows she doesn't have to. He's with Mei, and they're not together, but he just can't stop the anxiety train.

"What the hell, Midge? Why'd it have to be him, huh? You couldn't find some other other coworker to fuck?"

"Oh, wow," Midge says, taking a step back.

"You had to go for the guy I actually idolized. Go fucking figure."

Lenny steps in then, putting himself between them. "Far be it from me to stick my nose where it doesn't belong-"

"It doesn't belong," Joel snaps. "We were having a conversation."

Lenny thinks about that, and then turns to Midge. "Were you having a conversation, or was he just berating you for doing something he doesn't like very much?"

"Door number two," Midge says quietly. "But I got this. Go let my father talk your ear off, and I'll be in in a minute."

"You're sure," Lenny checks. "Because he's short. I could probably stuff him into a garbage can or something."

Joel sees red, but holds himself back from taking a swing at the guy.

"That's very tempting, but I'm sure," Midge says. "Go."

Lenny nods, eyes Joel one more time, and then steps back out, leaving them alone once more.

"Okay," Midge says softly once he's gone. "However you feel about Lenny? For now at least, he and I are together. So that's something you're going to have to deal with. No, I did not 'go for him' because of you. He and I met, and we've known each other for a couple of years, and things...happened. So we decided to try something more formal, which is why I brought him tonight."

"But-"

"This is my life," she cuts him off. "Mine. You stopped getting a say in it when you left. You left, Joel, and the consequences of that choice is still the same. Namely that you have to sit back and watch me live and maybe even fall in love with someone else."

They stand there in silence for a long moment, and Joel can't meet her eyes.

"Do you love him?" he asks.

Midge shrugs. "I'm still thinking about it. Maybe."

They leave it at that, both of them going back into the living room, and Midge steps over to Lenny, sitting down next to him silently. Joel watches him take her hand as he keeps talking to Abe.

He watches them the entire night, much to Mei's annoyance, and eventually, as he's leaving the bathroom, catches them standing by a deserted window, watching the snow together. Lenny's arms are wrapped around Midge, and they're talking quietly.

"Seemed like a pretty bad fight."

"It's just Joel," Midge sighs softly. "I'm okay."

"You know, we coulda just gone to another club, rung in the new year with a bunch of drunks," Lenny offers. "Skipped this."

"We had to rip the band-aid off at some point," Midge shrugs.

"Well," Lenny says, kissing her temple. "Happy fucking new year."

She laughs softly. "Happy fucking new year, Lenny."

Joel grits his teeth. It's definitely love.

[yurtletheturtlehenderson]

COSMIC - S1:E2; Chapter Two, The Weirdo On Maple Street - [Pt. 1]

A Will Byers x Male!Reader Series

𝘠/𝘯, 𝘓𝘶𝘤𝘢𝘴, 𝘋𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘯, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘔𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘳𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘬 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘪𝘳𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘧𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘰𝘥𝘴 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘮𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘴𝘩𝘦'𝘴 𝘭𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘯.

|| 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫'𝐬 𝐏𝐎𝐕 ||

The booming clap of thunder and the steady drumming of rain hitting the windows can be heard. The poor girl sat before us, shaking, her breath heavy and ragged. She was now wearing Mike's jacket; he had given it to her when we found her shivering in the rain. The four of us stood in front of her, gazing at her in awe and bewilderment. Lucas and Mike were to my right, Dustin on my left. Mike finally broke the silence.

"Is there a number we can call for your parents?"

"Where's your hair? Do you have cancer?"

"Dustin," I warn. Although, I'd be lying if I said it hadn't crossed my mind.

Before I can stop them, the boys continue to ask her all sorts of questions without even giving her a chance to answer.

"Did you run away?"

"Are you in some kind of trouble?"

"Is that blood?" Lucas slowly extends his arm towards the girl's face; before I can stop him, Mike beats me to it and smacks his arm away.

"Stop it! You're freaking her out!"

"She's freaking me out!"

"I bet she's deaf." Dustin then turns to look at the girl and quickly claps his hands in her face and she flinches back, clearly even more frightened, if that is at all possible.

"Not deaf." He says weakly, shrugging his shoulders.

I draw the line there. "Dustin, seriously? Do you not hear yourself? How would you feel in her position, huh?"

"Y/n's right, okay? Enough, both of you." Mike defended me and looked to Dustin and Lucas as he spoke. "She's just scared and cold." He pointed in the girl's direction as he said this.

Hearing him say that made me realize she was still in nothing but a soaking wet t-shirt and Mike's jacket. I turn to Mike. "We should probably get her some fresh clothes. Do you have any down here?" I ask.

Mike nods and heads towards a laundry basket across the room. I look back at the girl and I see her close her eyes and flinch, shrinking into herself a little as another clap of thunder boomed from outside. I cautiously took a step around to the side of the coffee table and took a seat on the edge so I was near her eye level but not so close I was invading her space.

"Hey, it's okay," I try, my voice gentle. "It's just thunder. You're gonna be okay. You're safe now."

I send her a warm, reassuring smile. She says nothing, but I swear I see gratitude in her eyes.

Mike returns with some fresh clothes.

"Here, these are clean. Okay?" She cautiously takes the clothes from him and looks at them. After a moment she brings them to her face and softly rubs them on her cheek. My sympathy for her grows stronger, who knows how long it has been since she's had a proper set of clothes. She sets them aside and shrugs Mike's jacket off of her shoulders. She rises to her feet, reaching for the bottom of the t-shirt she was wearing, clearly about to undress in front of us.

"No, no, no!" We all yell.

I jump to my feet in surprise, ripping my gaze away in panic while also attempting to reach for her hands to keep them in place. Mike tries to do the same, but he's a bit more shaken up. Meanwhile, Dustin and Lucas began freaking out, their heads turned so as to not see anything. Dustin could not stop saying, "Oh, my God!"

"See over there?" Mike points to the bathroom just across the room. "That's the bathroom. Privacy. Get it?" He asks. The girl looks ashamed and confused. She looks to the bathroom and then to me, her eyes pleading. I can tell she's afraid to be alone. I take a quick, deep breath and look at her. "You... want me in there with you?" I ask gently.

She nods and we are all surprised to hear her speak. "Yes."

"Really? Umm," I look to the guys in shock who all wear the same expression as the scene unfolds. Panicking, but also realizing by now she doesn't understand why I would be, I look back to her only to find fear in her eyes and I feel a wave of guilt. A sigh escapes and I nod. "Yeah, uh, okay. I can do that, but, you're still gonna need some privacy, okay?" I grab her clothes off the couch and I lead her to the bathroom and she looks around in curiosity.

I gesture around the bathroom awkwardly, not really knowing what to do.

"Here, I'm not gonna look, but we should close this so they don't accidentally see anything. Okay?" I gesture to the door.

Panic flooded her features, and for the first time since we found her she wore an expression of absolute certainty, speaking for the second time tonight. "No."

"Hey, its okay, it's just so that you can change in privacy. You know, so they don't accidentally see you changing? How about we close it most of the way? That way you have privacy, but you know you can still get out. Does that sound good?" She hesitates then nods her head slightly. I push the door in so it's cracked open.

I handed her Mike's spare set of clothes, doing my best to offer a small smile. "Alright, here you go,"

For a moment I think, just maybe it's okay to slip out and let her change. But then I see the look in here eyes, and it hits truly me why it's so important to her someone stays.

My smile feels a little more genuine now and it almost seems to put her at ease, just a little. "Don't worry, I'll stay."

I cross over to the other side of the bathroom, taking a seat on the closed lid of the toilet with my back turned to her. For extra measure, I even clamped my hand over my eyes, still trying to figure out my day took such a weird turn. I can her start to move around and figure she's started changing, and briefly I think of how scared she looked when the thunder rumbled.

It reminded me of how bad thunder used to scare me as kid; like really bad, and how Mom helped me through it. Even kept me company until I fell asleep, and it all made a little more sense why she asked me. It was the same reason I recognized the look in her eyes almost at once; Anxiety and genuine fear. Like I did when I was a kid, I needed that company around just to know I wasn't alone.

It only makes my mind race with a million different questions but, they're all silenced when I hear voices coming from the other room.

"This is mental." It was Dustin.

"At least she can talk." Mike defended.

"She said 'no' and 'yes.' Your three-year-old sister says more." Lucas counters. I bite my lip, trying not to yell at Lucas. If he heard her say 'no' to me from the bathroom, that obviously means that we can hear him. As much as I love those guys, they can be really insensitive.

"She tried to get naked." Dustin argued."She brought Y/n in there with her!"

I can feel my face heat up and I wish I could melt into a puddle where I sit. At least that way they could just flush me and be done with it.

"It's not like that! She's just scared," Mike defended.

"There's something seriously wrong with her. Like, wrong in the head." Said Lucas.

"She, just went like..." and then I could barely make out the muffled sound of something falling.

"I bet she escaped from Pennhurst."

"From where?" Mike sounded just as exasperated as I was feeling.

"The nuthouse in Kerley County."

"You got a lot of family there?"

"Bite me."

"Seriously though, think about it. That would explain her shaved hair and why she's so crazy."

"Why she went like..."

"She's an escapee is the point. She's probably a psycho."

"Like Michael Myers."

"Exactly! We should've never brought her here."

"So you just wanted to leave her out in that storm?"

"Yes! We went out to find Will, not another problem."

"I think we should tell your mom." Dustin offers.

"I second that."

"Who's crazy now?"

"How is that crazy?"

"'Cause, we weren't supposed to be out tonight, remember?"

"So?"

"So if I tell my mom and she tells your mom and your mom..."

"Oh, man."

"Our houses become Alcatraz."

"Exactly. We'll never find Will."

There's a brief silence, and I think about everything I just heard. Mike had a pretty good point. And I don't blame Lucas for being skeptical, I just wish he wouldn't be so harsh sometimes. If I can hear their conversation, that means she can. I can't imagine what she must be going through right now.

"All right, here's the plan. She sleeps here tonight."

"You're letting a girl --"

"Just listen! In the morning, she sneaks around my house, goes to the front door and rings my doorbell. My mom will answer and know exactly what to do. She'll send her back to Pennhurst or wherever she comes from. We'll be totally in the clear. And tomorrow night, we go back out. And this time, we find Will."

I feel a light tap on my shoulder and I turn around to see the girl had changed. She had sad look on her face and I don't blame her at all.

"Feeling better?" I ask. She meets my eyes for a brief moment and nods, looking back down at her feet.

I sigh and lower my voice into a whisper, trying to undo all the damage the boys just unknowingly caused. "Hey, I'm sorry they said all those things. You'll be in good hands here with that boy Mike; the guy who gave you the clothes, he's really nice, and it sounds like you'll be staying with him."

I stood up, eyeing the door and my friends who I could barely see through the slat we left open and I turned back to her.

"By the way... You don't have to answer any of those questions if you're not ready. That was unfair of them to do that. If you ever need anything... or someone to talk to, even after we get everything sorted out, well, I'm here." I shrug, giving her a reassuring smile before opening the door, leading her out of the bathroom.

Lucas and Dustin were standing at the bottom of the stairs, ready to head out. I follow their gaze to find Mike had made a small fort for the girl.

Mike was helping the girl get settled inside. "Here you go. This is my sleeping bag."

"You really think she's psycho?" Dustin whispered.

"Wouldn't want her in my house." Before Lucas could head up the stairs I spoke up.

"We heard everything."

Lucas and Dustin stopped and looked at me, worried.

"What?"

"All those nasty things you were saying back there, we heard every word. She heard every word... Just go. Dustin, I'll catch up in a few minutes. Bye." I threw them a flat, angry look as I shook my head and walked away. As I made my way over to the fort I took note of the silence behind me, followed by reluctant footsteps up the stairs.

"Hey, um, I never asked your name." Mike said trying to make conversation. I kneeled down next to Mike.

The girl looks at us both, then without saying anything, she pulls up her left sleeve to reveal a tattoo on the inside of her wrist. It read '011'. My eyes widen in shock.

"Woah," I can't help but gasp.

"Is that real?" Mike asks excitedly as he reaches over to touch the tattoo. She quickly retracts her arm and looks at Mike. There's an awkward silence apart from the booming thunder outside.

"Sorry, I've just... never seen a kid with a tattoo before." He apologized sheepishly.

"Can I ask what it means?" I say.

She looks at me and then points a finger towards herself.

"So, that's your name? Eleven?" I confirm.

She nods her head and then looks down at her lap.

"Eleven. Okay." Mike says, perking up. "Um, well, my name's Mike. Short for Michael, and this is my friend Y/n. He's Dustin's brother." Eleven looks over at me and I smile politely, giving her a small wave.

"Maybe we can call you 'El.' Short for Eleven." Mike offers. She nods her head in agreement. There's a silence and I can tell Mike likes her already.

"Um, well, okay," I say, trying to break the silence. "El, it was nice meeting you. And, like I said, if you need anything at all, I'm here. And so is Mikey here, of course," I say, looking over at Mike, giving him a knowing look, a smirk on my face. "Unfortunately, I have to head home so, I'll see you guys later."

I smile and grab my jacket. As i head for the stairs, I turn to both of them and send them a little wave. "Bye!"

Mide nods at me, the girl, El watching curiously as I go. That's the last I see of them as I dissapear up the steps.

I could hear Mike stuttering a 'goodnight' to El as I make it to the top. Clearly, I caught him off guard. I smile to myself, thinking.

'Ohh, he has so got it bad.'

I parked my bike in its usual spot and made it through the front door quiet enough so my mom won't hear.

Most of the lights were turned off, my mom must have gone to bed already just as I suspected. I heard an obnoxious meowing near my feet and look down to see Mews. I kneel down and pet this attention starved cat knowing that's the only way she will ever quiet down. I don't know how she can be attention starved when Mom doted on her as much as she does.

Mews lets out a deep purr and leans into my hand as I give her head a few scratches. I take off my shoes and set them by the front door before sneaking back into my room.

I flip on the light switch and stare at my slightly messy room and sigh at the events of today. I close my door so I can change into my pj's and tidy up a bit. Once I'm done I open my door so it's ajar, knowing that Mews likes to come and go throughout the house as she pleases. I sit down on the side of my bed and sigh heavily.

My eyes are fixed on the floor, particularly the different shadows that were being cast from my lamp on my bedside table as my thoughts wandered back to the fruitless efforts of tonight.

The stress and constant worrying have taken its toll on me. It breaks my heart to know that my best friend is somewhere out there lost and probably hurt. I guess a big part of me was sure that we were going to find Will in those woods out by Mirkwood tonight. I should have known better.

I feel something on my leg and I look down to see tear stains on my pajama bottoms. I hadn't even realized I had started crying. I sniffle, wiping my nose and grab the stuffed duck that was sitting on my bed. Will had won it for me. I give it a tight hug, a small smile creeps its way onto my face at the memory.

- 𝗙𝗟𝗔𝗦𝗛𝗕𝗔𝗖𝗞 -

It was the first Saturday of summer vacation and the five of us had gone to the arcade for a much-deserved celebration. We all filed into the arcade, I followed Mike, Dustin, and Lucas as we made our way to Dustin's favorite game Dig Dug, Will and I side by side, buzzing with the excitement of the new summer ahead of us.

There was a brief moment of comfortable silence as we looked around the arcade. We passed by all the familiar games including the infamous claw game. I spare a glance at its contents and notice an adorable bright yellow duck perched in the front of the glass.

I smile and point at the stuffed duck. "Oh! That duck is so cute!" I admired it for a brief moment and catch up with Dustin, assuming Will is still next to me.

( hats off to the folk who understand this reference!! 😎 )

About twenty minutes later I had just beaten Mike's high score on Pac Man. All the boys watched over my shoulder and I couldn't help but cheer out. "Ha! Say, Mike, how does my dust taste?"

"Oh, whatever. You only beat me by," he leans over my shoulder to look at my score. "Holy crap! 1300 points?! Alright, well done." He sighs.

"Hey Will, you owe me 5 bucks!" I turn to my friend only to not see him there. I look around in confusion.

"Wait, guys, where is Will?"

They all shrug.

"I don't know, the last time I saw him he was with you. When we got here." Lucas shrugged.

I look around until I spot the familiar bowl cut by the claw machine. He must have won something since he was leaning down to grab some prize from the machine. I quickly grab my tickets and abandon the machine and meet him by the claw, he made eye contact with me and quickly put his hands behind his back.

"Hey, man. Where have you been? You just missed it. I just annihilated Mike in Pac Man. It was awesome!"

"I, um... Well, I, uh," he scratched the back of his head awkwardly as he stammered.

I breathed out a soft laugh. "Will, it's fine, you're not on trial or anything."

"Well I noticed you seemed to really like that duck and it seemed easy enough, and um, and so yeah, I played a couple rounds and, well here." His words sort of spilled out of his mouth and he quickly pulled out his hand from behind his back and handed me the cute little stuffed duck from earlier. A huge, beaming smile finds it's way onto my face as I take the duck from him.

"Oh, wow!" I gasped as I took the duck from him. "That's awesome, thank you! I love it! Aww, it's so cute!" I gave the duck a big squeeze and held it under my arm.

"Yeah, uh no problem. So you said you beat Mike's score? That's great! By how much?" He seems more relaxed now that he's changed the subject.

"You'll never believe it, 1300 points!" I said smugly.

"No way! Y/n, that's awesome!" He gave me a big smile.

"I know right? Anyways, come on, let's hit up Space Invaders. We've got more records to beat." I motioned towards the machine, but Will doesn't move. His smile only falters. "What's wrong Byers? Come on, we better hurry before someone else gets to it." I give him a smile, silently urging him to come along.

"Yeah, umm about that... I don't have any money left. I um, I kinda spent it all on the claw." He said sheepishly.

"What?" I stare in disbelief. I can't believe he would do that.

"I'm sorry, I just thought that—" he stammered.

"No, Will, hey! I'm not mad!" I soothe as I reach out and put a hand on his shoulder to calm him.

"And please, don't be sorry. If anything, I'm sorry. You spent all your money just to get this duck. I know you guys are tight on money right now, and well, I—" I stopped, completely appalled at his actions. "Thank you. That means so much to me. You're amazing." I smile and pull him in for a hug.

The hug lingers for a few moments longer than necessary but not enough to make it too awkward. He was hesitant to let go it seemed. I finally broke the hug and gave him another big grin.

"Come on, I am playing Space Invaders with my favorite person, whether he likes it or not. I've still got a buttload of coins."

"But, you don't have to do that."

"You didn't have to spend all your money getting the duck but you did anyway." I point out. He smiles at this.

"Besides," I continued. "You know me, I'd feel way too guilty if I didn't repay you in some way for the duck. This way, we'll be even. What do you say?" I playfully elbow him.

A big grin breaks out on his face. "Yeah okay, cool. Thanks."

- 𝗘𝗡𝗗 𝗢𝗙 𝗙𝗟𝗔𝗦𝗛𝗕𝗔𝗖𝗞 -

I smile fondly as I give the ever so slightly worn duck a squeeze. It quickly became one of my favorite things. A quiet sob escapes my lips as I hug the duck.

"Y/n?" My head shot up to my door to see Dustin poking his head in my room, concern etched on his face.

I sniffle and quickly wipe my nose with the back of my hand as I attempt to stop my sobs.

"Sorry," I mumble, figuring I'd annoyed him.

"Y/n, what's wrong?" Dustin asks worriedly, he takes a seat next to me, not before closing the door behind him.

"I'm sorry, I just," I am unable to hold back another sob, I lean into my brother's shoulder. He wraps an arm around my shoulder as he tries to comfort me.

"Seriously, are you okay? What's the matter?"

"I miss him," I wail. I can feel Dustin's body stiffen for a brief moment at the mention of Will. He sighs and runs his hand up and down my shoulder, trying to comfort me.

"I know," his voice sounds hoarse, like he's trying not to cry. "I miss him too."

"What if, he doesn't come back?" I choke on my sobs.

"You shouldn't talk like that. We'll find him. You know him, he's good at hiding. If something did get him, you just know he's hiding. That's why the clever bastard never bites it in our campaigns, even when we do."

I breathe out a soft chuckle at this. Dustin has a point. It seems no matter what kind of trouble he gets into during our campaigns, he always seems to find a way out. It's become a running joke in our party.

My smile falters. "But what if..."

"Y/n, you can't keep doing this to yourself. No more 'what ifs' it's not healthy, and—"

"Well, I can't help it, Dustin!" I snap, cutting him off. "I just... I just can't. You don't understand. You think I like it when my brain won't stop plaguing me with these god awful scenarios that gnaw at me every second? I can't help it, it's so draining! Why do you think it takes so long to come down from my anxiety attacks?"

My eyes are welling up again and my vision has become blurry. All I can do is look down back at the ground.

Dustin only sighs. "I'm sorry. I had no idea."

I sniffle and sigh. "I'm sorry too. It just gets so frustrating not being able to communicate my feelings with people who don't deal with anxiety like I do."

"I just... I just hope he's okay." Hot tears slide down my face as I stare at the wall. I heard a sniffle come from Dustin. We stayed like that for quite some time, longing for our friend.

______________

A//N: I put this in because I think it's important that I share this with you all. I don't ever see any fics with a reader with an anxiety disorder and I thought it was important that I do because as someone who struggles with anxiety and someone who has anxiety attacks all the time, I often feel disconnected from the story, anyway I thought that I should shed some light on the subject as well as let readers with anxiety disorders feel included and represented as well as let you know YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND YOUR DISORDER DOES NOT DEFINE YOU. PLEASE DM ME (A LIVING BREATHING PERSON WITH AN ANXIETY DISORDER) IF ANY OF YOU WANT TO TALK TO SOMEONE WHO STRUGGLES WITH THIS AND/OR YOU WANT TO ASK QUESTIONS TO LEARN MORE.

[lilahisntsadanymore]

We're the black sheep

Chapter Seven

Masterlist of the fanfic

Pairing: Sirius Black x reader

Words count: 3k

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Y/n spent the Christmas break with Circe and Owen in the Ainsworth manor. Owen's parents were on a trip to their cozy cabin in Norway, so the teenagers had the house to themselves. Evenings were the best, because the girls were playing on a grand piano that stood in the living room, while Owen was drawing some quidditch tactics in his notebook. He always sat on an armchair, nearby the piano because the music helped him focus.

Y/n was trying to keep herself busy most of the time, because in every 'free' moment she caught herself thinking about Sirius. Where did he spend Christmas? How did he spend Christmas? Was he alright? He was often on Y/n's mind, she missed him a lot. That one argue was a mistake.

One evening, the electricity went off. It kind of scared the three friends. Now the only source of light was the fireplace that was in front of Owen's armchair.

"Bloody hell," the boy cursed under his breath, "it's probably the weather's fault."

Indeed, the weather was awful that day. It was raining since morning, later on there was also a thunder.

"What do we do now?" Y/n asked, as the piano's sound dramatically stopped.

"Mum's got some candles in the drawers, we can use them. Circe, can you look for some candleholders? They're in the cupboard."

"Sure." Circe answered, making her way to the cupboard.

Y/n and Owen found three candles - one for each person. Suddenly they heard Circe's scream, so they ran her way.

"Owen, you freak, do you keep a bloody skull in here?!" The girl sounded terrified. "I think it's a skull, I can't see it well though."

"This is a candleholder." Owen started laughing.

They all lit up their candles and placed them in the skull-shaped candleholders. Y/n thought they looked pretty cool and kind of realistic. Not that she has ever seen a real skull in person, but she did in books.

The electricity didn't seem to be back anytime soon. The three friends sat together in Owen's room and talked. They were all on the floor

"So what's gonna happen with you and Reg's brother?" Circe asked.

"We had our fun, but it ended." Y/n admitted, trying to hide that she's sad about it. "I didn't expect it to last long, honestly."

"I told you you shouldn't mess around with Gryffindors." Owen pointed out. "I'm the most rational of us yet you never listen to me!"

"I don't want to say you're right, but you are right."

"I also know you'll forgive him whenever he apologizes."

"I will not!"

"We'll see about that."

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Time passes extremely quickly when you're having fun, the Christmas break came to an end in a blink of an eye. Y/n couldn't believe they were back at Hogwarts already.

January. The beginning of the new year. What will the 1976 bring? Nobody knew. Y/n and Sirius didn't exchange a single word. Still, neither of the Marauders tried talking to Y/n. She didn't try talking to them either.

February. Y/n still missed Sirius. They often looked at each other, taking any opportunity they had. Sirius' eyes were tired, he looked like he wasn't getting enough sleep. He wasn't seen with any girl since the break ended, which was weird. Y/n expected him to find someone new after her immediately. There were even rumors some girls asked him out for a date on the Valentine's day, but he declined.

March. Y/n wanted to apologize to Sirius but her pride didn't let her. She tried pushing thoughts about him aside, but it was almost impossible. Nights were the most difficult, because before falling asleep she was thinking about Sirius. Then, in the mornings she was seeing him in the Great Hall, which made everything worse. She couldn't even focus during the lessons which Slytherin and Gryffindor had together.

That one day was different. For the first night in a while, Y/n didn't dream about Sirius. Also, in the morning she didn't notice him in the Great Hall. What could happen?

"I'm done with it." Before one of the DADA classes, Remus decided to talk to Y/n.

"I know, DADA with Cieran is shit. He isn't a teacher material." The girl knew what he meant, but she tried avoiding the topic.

"I mean you and Sirius."

"Oh, no. Me and this git wouldn't be the best teachers either. You could though."

"Not that. You-"

Then the bell rang, starting the class. Cieran quickly appeared by the classroom door, opening it and letting the students inside. Remus grabbed Y/n by the wrist and dragged her to sit with him in the order to continue the conversation.

"You have to talk to Sirius." The boy insisted.

"Remus, no." Y/n whisper-shouted. "It's over. For good."

"But it's important!" Now Remus was also whisper-shouting.

"I don't care about him anymore!"

"We all know you both do care about each other. Don't be so up your own arse for once, Y/n."

Out of a sudden, they heard and saw a hand hit the surface of their desk. It was loud and aggressive. The hand belonged to, obviously, Y/n's brother.

"I'm talking." Cieran's voice was annoyed.

"So are we," Y/n argued, "and clearly we aren't done."

"Ten points from Slytherin and Gryffindor."

"Cieran, you're my-"

"-teacher, yes. I'm telling professor Slughorn about your back talk. Now, back to the lesson."

Y/n saw Remus taking a piece of paper and writing something on it. Right after it, he slid the paper to the girl. She read it.

Walk to the fountain after the class. No questions and no declining.

She sent Remus an icy stare and the boy smiled at her with one of his kindest smiles.

And so when the class finished, Y/n told Circe and Owen not to wait for her. Then, she walked where Remus told her to go. The area was rather empty, there were only some younger students playing Gobstones. And right by the fountain, to Y/n's surprise, stood Sirius Black.

"Hey," he said, smiling lightly, "I'm glad you wanted to talk."

"Remus told me to come here, I do it for him." Y/n kept a straight face.

"Look, I'm really sorry. And I don't say it often, so appreciate it."

Finally, a small smile found its way on Y/n's face. She walked closer to Sirius. At this point she didn't even remember what she was angry about.

"I am sorry as well." Y/n admitted. "I totally overreacted."

"I'm glad you understand your mistake." The boy joked.

Y/n gave Sirius a friendly, light punch on the arm. They both started laughing and playfully pushing each other, until they fell into the fountain.

"You're wet." Sirius pointed out, still laughing.

"And so are you, Black!" Y/n nudged him.

"Yeah," it didn't seem like a problem to him, "isn't that fun?"

They started splashing water at each other. They were kind of loud, catching attention of professor McGonagall, who happened to be walking by. The woman walked up to the fountain in a quick pace, but she didn't seem to be angry.

"Mr Black, Miss Hannigan!" She said, shaking her head. "I'm glad you made up."

"Thank you, Minnie." Sirius smiled at her.

"Now get out of the fountain before another teacher sees you."

Minerva walked away as Sirius and Y/n began getting out of water. When they were on the way to their dormitories, they caught other students' attention. Including their friends. The rest three Marauders stood in a corridor with Circe and Owen.

"This wasn't what I imagined would happen," Remus chuckled, "but it was expectable."

"We made up." Sirius smiled proudly, taking Y/n's hand in his. He noticed James opening his mouth, so he quickly added, "not out! We could though..."

Sirius turned his face to Y/n and leaned in, expecting a kiss. The girl put her pointing finger on his lips.

"Don't be so quick, Black." She smiled.

"Back on the last name basis, I see."

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Months had passed, Y/n and Sirius weren't in a relationship, but there was something between them again. After the small downfall, they had to try to make each other's friends warm up to them again, which wasn't so easy. Circe and Remus were getting along well, at least.

June meant the end of the school year and a little bit of a break from the constant pressure of studying. OWLs weren't as difficult as Y/n thought. She hoped for good results.

After the last breakfast of their 5th year and before the departure to the train station, Y/n, Circe and Owen decided to take a walk around the Lake. The sky was cloudy but it didn't seem to be going to rain anytime soon.

Suddenly, clouds weren't the only thing on the sky. James and Sirius flew high up in the sky on their brooms, taking out their wands. They started shooting a lot of little sparkles out of their wands. James' sparkles formed a few pink hearts, while Sirius' sparkles turned into a question "Will you be my girlfriend?". After a while, Sirius landed on the ground, giving his broom to James who was now standing between Remus and Peter. Then Sirius walked up to Y/n.

"So?" He asked. "Will you?"

Y/n was astonished, but after a moment she smiled. The girl didn't have to think long about the answer. It was obvious.

"Yes." She replied, wanting to hug Sirius, but he kissed her instead.

The whole show gathered attention of many other students. They all started clapping, Y/n and Sirius felt like main characters of some kind of a theatre play.

"Northcott," Y/n heard James' voice, "you owe me five galleons."

"No way!" Circe disclaimed. "You most likely knew Black had been planning it."

"I found out a few days ago!"

Y/n and Sirius walked up to their friends.

"What are you talking about?" The girl asked.

"We had a bet," James smiled, "Northcott said you'll get in a relationship after the summer holiday and I said before. Remus also said before, but he thought you'll ask Sirius out. Peter thought it'll happen during the holidays."

"James!" Sirius shouted, giving a friendly nudge to his best friend. "You were the one encouraging me to do it as soon as possible."

"We didn't say it wasn't allowed!" James raised his both hands, laughing.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Two hours later all of the Hogwarts students were on the train on the way back to Kings Cross. Circe, Owen and Regulus were alone in one of the compartments. Someone was missing.

"When is Y/n going to join us?" Regulus asked. He didn't know what happened two hours earlier.

"She's with the Gryffindor blokes." Circe answered casually.

"She ditched her friends for her boyfriend." Owen put his hand on his chest, pretending to be hurt.

"Her boyfriend?" The youngest Slytherin was very much confused. "We talked just yesterday, she didn't tell me anything."

"Your..." Circe didn't know how to say it, however she did it, she knew Regulus would be hurt, "Reg, your brother asked her out. Like two hours ago."

"Oh. Alright. I guess." Regulus visibly saddened, but he didn't want to show it, so he quickly changed the subject of the conversation.

After a few hours the train reached the destination. Everyone began exiting it, some seventh years were crying as they hugged each other. When Y/n and the Marauders were talking, Circe walked up to them.

"I just came to say if you hurt her, I'll hurt you. If she cries, I won't hesitate to use Cruciatus." The girl announced with a serious expression on her face as she looked at Sirius.

"Sounds insane," Peter pointed out, "you'd end up in Azkaban."

"You don't get it. We would kill for each other." Circe and Y/n said in unison.

"I've got to, " Circe's face saddened, "my parents are waiting. Write to me sometimes." She gave Y/n a hug and walked away.

"I see my mum, I'll go too." Peter announced, also walking away.

Y/n, Sirius, James and Remus kept talking, but suddenly they were interrupted by Cieran, who looked very annoyed. He gave the boys a mean stare and grabbed Y/n's wrist.

"I'm done waiting." He said.

"I'm talking to my friends." The girl protested, trying to not let him pull her away.

"Don't tell parents you're friends with...this sort of people. They changed you. A lot. Father won't like it."

"I didn't change, I-"

"And I don't care. We're going home. And back there, you're acting normal."

"Or what?"

"Shut up."

The siblings used apparition to go home, it was the fastest way.

Words couldn't describe how much Y/n hated her so-called 'home'. The house maybe was beautiful, but it was so dark. The atmosphere inside it was disgusting. The walls witnessed a lot of awful things. Parents provided that kids everything they needed in the material meaning. But if we talked about emotional bonds, they were more of hosts, than parents. Cieran grew up not minding it all and now Y/n saw he was so much like their father.

"Good afternoon, mother." The siblings greeted, as they walked inside.

A blonde, young-looking woman looked at them, moving her eyes from a book she was reading. Emerald Hannigan. She was in her middle fourties, but her face didn't seem to change much during the past twenty years.

"Welcome back." She answered in an angelic voice. Judging just by the sound of her voice, people would think Emerald was a real angel. But her icy blue eyes were hiding a devil.

When the father, Oliver, came home, he wanted to chat a bit about school. He seemed more interested in what Cieran had to say, since it was his first year being a teacher. Plus, there was some business he was very interested in.

Y/n went to her room and decided to stay there until dinner. She sighted, sitting on her bed. The girl didn't feel like unpacking her trunk just yet. She was angry about the situation at King's Cross.

Her family surely wouldn't want her to be friends with the Marauders, it wouldn't surprise her if she got disowned when parents found out that Sirius is her boyfriend. Cieran was right, Marauders had an influence on Y/n, not the kind of influence Y/n's family would like. She smiled at the ridiculous thought how a bunch of boys her age felt more like a family than her actual family. They understood her. They made her want to become a better person, a person who isn't scared to stomp on her family's beliefs. She was going to tell her parents about dating Sirius. Definitely.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Dinner was so boring. Food was great, the house elf, Daisy, knew the best receipts. Y/n would never nag about the food Daisy makes. It was the stupid conversation that make the dinner boring. Oliver talked about school, about Y/n having to get good grades. He seemed to care about it more than she cared. Y/n felt as if her own father didn't believe in her possibilities. She was a really smart witch.

When Y/n finished eating, she was immediately asked to leave the dining room. She wanted to help Daisy with the plates, but Emerald said that a pureblood witch should never do it. They all thought house elves are some kind of slaves or something, another thing Y/n didn't understand. She had a special bond with Daisy, she liked talking with her, she mostly spent time with her when she was at home.

"Has anyone seen your dark mark?" As Y/n was on the way to her room, she heard her father whispering.

The girl hid in the staircase. It was a good spot to eavesdrop. The more she wasn't supposed to know, the more she wanted to know.

"Yes, I'm afraid." Cieran's quiet voice said. "Dumbledore might know about it. I am so sorry, father."

"You had one thing to do!"

And there Y/n heard her father slamming his fist on the table. This man had some serious anger issues. But which pureblood didn't?

"Cieran, you know we need our people at Hogwarts."

"If I get fired, there's also Regulus..."

"Yes, we all know. He's very eager to become one of us and work for the Dark Lord."

Out of a sudden, Y/n felt a light tap on her shoulder. It caused her to jump up a little, but thankfully it was just the house elf.

"What is miss Y/n doing?" Daisy asked.

"I...was looking for an earring." Y/n lied, pretending she found something on the floor and putting 'it' in a pocket of her pants. "Found it."

"Good. Daisy noticed an owl outside miss Y/n's window so Daisy let it in."

"Thank you, Daisy."

After giving the elf a smile, Y/n rushed to her room. She saw a black owl with golden eyes. It was sitting on the desk with a letter in its beak. Y/n gently took the letter and gave the owl a pat on the head.

My love,

I told my parents about you. They want to meet you as soon as possible. 12 Grimmauld Place, hidden by the Fidelius Charm. It would be nice if you could come tomorrow.

Yours, S.O.B.

The owl was staring at Y/n with its huge eyes.

"Okay, okay, I'm writing." The girl said, as if she felt that the owl expected to be handed letter to deliver to Sirius.

Y/n reached for a quill, a piece of paper and some ink. She kept a few in her desk even though she barely was home.

Dear Sirius,

I'll gladly come tomorrow at 1pm. I'm happy about it, because I've already started missing you.

Lots of love, Y/n

The letter was short, but it was all Y/n managed to think about. She wasn't experienced in all the dating stuff, she had no idea how to write a letter to a lover. After giving the owl the letter, Y/n let it outside.

Sirius was making Y/n feel butterflies in her stomach, it was such a strange and new feeling to her. Was it good? Was it going to last long?

[jademakean]

𝐒𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐲 𝐍𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭

Timothée Chalamet x Reader

𝑷𝒂𝒖𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒆 𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒍𝒂𝒎𝒆𝒕 𝒊𝒔 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒓 𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔.

｡･:*:･ﾟ

  Drizzles of water began coating your body as you rushed to your best friend's porch, hurriedly knocking on the wooden door.

The extra holiday break from school allowed you to spend more time with Pauline, meaning: chaotic sleepovers

“Hello?”

You looked up meeting a pair of green eyes you hadn't seen in a long while. “Timothée?”

Once the slender figure came to the realization of who was waiting at his front step, his mouth went agape mirroring yours.

You both had been close since you were little. You became friends with Pauline in middle school and met Timothée through her. From then on you were a trio and would do everything together, but that all changed.

Him, being three years older than you meant that he'd go to college first and in the end, there would simply not be any time for you both to be together. You did try to hang out once every two weeks but his college was way too far and he needed to spend his time focussing on his studies. It ended in a bad note, with many hurtful words shared.

Before you knew it, Timothée had you in bone-crushing embrace  “I haven't seen you in months, more than a year maybe! God, I missed you.”

“Why didn't you tell me you came back?” you couldn't hide the slight disappointment of him not thinking about letting you know. “I wanted to but I switched phone numbers and my sister wanted me to surprise you instead. I just didn't know I was going to see you this soon.”

Though you both shared your relief in seeing each, there was some strange tension in the air.

“I gotta visit my aunt right now but we should celebrate tomorrow or something.” He suggested, breaking the silence.

“Yeah totally. I'm sleeping over anyways so we'll probably see each other after dinner. Just be careful, the weather seems to be getting worse.”

“Oh yeah of course. If you need some clothes you can get some from my room, they're in a box on my bed. I know that Pauline's clothes are too small for any human being to wear.”

You giggled at his over-exaggeration nodding “Thanks. Stay safe.”

Once the door shut you felt your mood change. It's not like you weren't happy to see him, you were, but not being able to have the same connection you once had made your heartache.

“DJ Paulina in the house mother fuckers!”

You jumped at your best friend's sudden outburst but laughed nevertheless.

“Holy shit, you're wetter than the pacific ocean!”

You roller your eyes “Really? Damn, I wonder why. It's alright though, Timothée allowed me to borrow one of his shirts.”

“Wait you already saw Timothée?”

“Yeah, he just left.”

Paulina grimaced slightly knowing how hard it might've been for two introverts to reunite after a long period of time, let alone after they had a fight last time they were together. She quickly changed the subject not wanting to upset you.

That didn't mean she wouldn't plan on rebuilding your bond.

۵

The snaps of thunder kept you awake and the heavy drops of rain overtook your mind.

As the time pasted you began wondering what would happen if there was a monster under your bed, if a ghost yanked you by your leg, or if the shadow of the hanging coat was actually a person.

Full-on scaring yourself.

And Pauline's sleep talking was not helping the situation.

Both of you spent the day baking, eating and watching movies. Though it's not how most teenagers take up the opportunity of an empty house, it was more than enough for you two.

What was irritating you at this precise moment was the fact that you were exhausted during the day and still are, except you, can't bring yourself to actually fall asleep.

Creaking sounds were heard throughout the room as your feet made contact with the wooden floor.

You grumbled making your way to the kitchen for a cup of fresh cold water.

The bright electronic clock on the stove displayed the time. 2:23 A.M.

You were so dazed and distracted by the clock that before you could fill your glass with water, the cup fell on the counter.

You felt your heart stop the second the loud sound emitted throughout the quiet space, fearing you'd break your best friend's parent's glass. But once you realized that everything was still stable, you proceeded to finish your plan.

“What are you doing still awake?”

Your body jumped at those words. You turned to see Timothée with hooded eyes and slumped figure, clearly more than half asleep.

“Sorry, I'm a light sleeper and the thunder was keeping me awake.”

“Do you want to sleep with me?”

He smiled softly with a droopy gaze

Not gonna lie, initially some inappropriate thoughts crossed your mind, but vanished once you remembered how every time you had trouble falling asleep, you'd get in his bed and he'd make conversation until you fell asleep.

“Sure.”

Timothée was probably too out of it to understand why it had taken you so look to answer, which you were grateful for.

He lazily intertwined your fingers and led you to his room.

It looked the same as before, maybe some items we're missing so he'd be able to decorate his new apartment, but other than that, still the same.

You hesitantly laid down turning your body away from the curly-headed boy. You felt yourself heating up as last time you shared a bed you were a quite innocent 15-year-old, and to be fair you've always seen him as a bother figure.

But two years have passed and he was now 20, it felt like being with a stranger even though he wasn't.

“You alright?”

He mumbled quietly

“Can I ask you something?”

“Go ahead.” You chewed your lip anxiously. You've never been good at confronting people.

“Is there a reason why you got mad at me when you left. All I remember was you telling me how we couldn't be friends because of all the work you had and how you couldn't handle too many things at the same time. But in the end, you suddenly got mad at me and it ended in a huge fight.”

You could tell that Timothée was now fully awake, definitely not expecting you to mention the topic at this time of night.

“Well, in all honestly I knew you wouldn't want to give up on our friendship. I've always seen you as a loyal strong friend and I didn't want to disappoint you by continuously bailing out on our plans.”

Thought his solution was a stupid one, you understood what he meant. You would most definitely get let down many times and eventually get mad at him, even if it wasn't fully his fault.

“I understand. Just-- Just don't do that again. I'd rather have a relationship with you even if we rarely saw each other, instead of not seeing you at all. I miss being with you.”

Timothée's heavy arm hugged you closer to him. So close you could feel his gentle heartbeat against your back.

“I'm not as much of a mess I was back in the first year of college. I have more spare time, even if college is too far we can face time and meet once a month.”

It was nice to witness his change in attitude regarding the situation, he's now more open-minded and optimistic.

“Is that why you seemed so tense when you saw me today?”

You suddenly felt yourself redden from slight embarrassment “I mean yeah. I kinda overreact a lot, but you know that. I didn't even recognize you, you've changed and I didn't know how to feel.”

You felt chest shake from a deep chuckle as you played with his fingers “Is that a good thing?”

He was making you flustered and he knew it.

“I mean, yeah. You look mature for a 20-year-old. When you were 18 you still had your baby face- it's not a bad thing at all, but now you, um, okay I'm just going to stop talking.”

Once again, Timothée's body shook slightly from his laughter which eventually died down.

There was silence once again, the downpour was hitting the window aggressively but managed to make you feel calm. The heat that radiated from the man's body was wrapping you in a warm blanket, his cold breath tickling your neck.

“How do you see me?

The silence was halted by your simple question “What do you mean?” his raspy voice asked, not understanding the question very well.

“Before you said that you saw me as a loyal friend. How do you see me now?”

Timothée turned your body to face him “Well, you've changed as well. You don't look like a little kid anymore.”

You hummed in response staring into his eyes. The moonlight was shining through the window behind Timothée, illuminating his hair, making it look as though he was wearing a halo around his head.

“Has anything interesting happened while I was gone? House renovations, dead grandma, boyfriends..?”

You had to cover your mouth from bursting out laughing “How the hell do you go from dead grandma to boyfriends?”

The boy shrugged his shoulders waiting for an answer “I had a boyfriend for a little while but it didn't work out.”

Timothée nodded for you to keep going

“He treated me differently when we were around his friends, kinda like he didn't want me. We would get into a lot of arguments and I just wasn't happy. So I ended it.”

He took your hand caressing it carefully with his thumb. You knew he was trying to make you feel better though you weren't actually sad about the breakup. You decided not to say anything against it since his action-filled your heart with butterflies.

“He's an asshole for doing that.”

“Yeah well, most of them are.”

There was a small pause in the air before Timothée spoke up again

“I wouldn't do that to you.”

You were taken aback from his sudden confession. You expected him to joke around about some dumb stereotypes.

“If you were my boyfriend, or just in general?” you asked genuinely curious to which he answered:

“Both.”

You being the anxious human being you are, decided to play it off as a joke. Like always.

“Yeah right, you would never date me, you might as well be one of those extra frat boys that-”

“Why would you assume I wouldn't date you.”

You were becoming more and more agitated, not fully grasping the meaning of his words, and why he was now saying it.

“I've always adored you. The reason why I never said anything is because I'm three years older than you and didn't want to make you uncomfortable.”

“Why are you saying this now?” You shuttered out as he moved closer to your body.

“I didn't realize how much I loved you until we separated. Now I'm realizing how much time I wasted.”

Timothée began breathing heavily, his eyes focusing on the different features your face held.

“Would you date me now?”

He nodded, not trusting his voice to speak. “Even if we wouldn't see each other often?”

He nodded once again, this time speaking “I haven't seen you in two years and I still have feelings for you, they won't go away even if I tried.”

Timothée let his fingers gently brush against your lips studying them thoroughly making your mind hazy.

You were so focussed on each other that the background noise was now muffled.

Your mouths were agape wanting one thing and one thing only.

“Can I kiss you?”

He whispered breathlessly. If he wasn't studying you so closely he would have missed your little nod.

But he didn't miss it.

The second the small gesture was caught, was the second his lips made contact with yours.

The kiss was heated and desperate, your eyebrows furrowed hopelessly from the connection. Tongues soon intertwining as Timothée held himself on top of you for better control of the situation. Not giving you room to escape.

You sighed through your nose not being able to break from the kiss, not wanting to break from the kiss.

His front pressed flush against yours, allowing his hands to travel all over your body with no hesitation.

You mumbled Timothée's name against his lips before you broke apart. “Did I go too far?”

You smiled at his worried state “No, I loved every second of it.”

He copied your smile resting his forehead on yours “Sorry, I could help myself.”

He laid on his back before you cuddled to his side, leg wrapped with his and head resting on his shoulder.

Timothée observed your crimson cheeks and swollen lips. He wanted to tease you about it but he knew damn well that he looked the exact same.

Sleep eventually took over you. The soothing sound of the storm was the last thing you heard, and the motion of Timothée's chest calmly rising and falling was the last thing you felt.

[pvrpleblccd]

As the world caves in.

syposis : It was now or never. This was his only chance, never will he have another chance like this.

pairing : dreamwastaken x f.reader

tw : angst, sad, tradegy, death, mentions of death/suicide, mc going through a very rough time

~

ᴀs ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴏʀʟᴅ ᴄᴀᴠᴇs ɪɴ - ᴍᴀᴛᴛ ᴍᴀʟᴛᴇs

I fell on my knees, looking at my family laying on the floor, white foam and another odd colour of a substance coming out of their mouths. My hand started to tremble as I reached out for my little siblings hand. It was cold. I couldn't help, but sob. Looking at their faces made me weak, it was pale, way too pale and far from its original tone. Their expressions will be one that will be engraved with me, they looked somehow peaceful, if it wasn't for the foam, we could mistaken for them to be asleep.

I put my palm on their cheeks, taking in their features for the last time, they're so young, way too young. They barely lived. There's so much ahead of them. They were looking forward to their lives, I was supposed to watch them grow up and see them graduate. Watch them enjoy their lives and, maybe, them eventually becoming parents.

My head suddenly turned to my parents, I looked at their faces and both of them held a small smile with dried tears clearly noticeable on their faces. My eyes glanced down on their hands, they were hold each other's hands, with their wedding rings on. Another sob came out of my mouth and hoped that they were able to move on with their next life. I felt a tiny happy feeling inside of me, my parents were divorced and they separated, but seeing them like this.. It made me feel.. somehow happy.

My tears were never ending. They kept on falling as I let out a scream. It hurt. My family is gone, without me, and soon I too will be gone. But I did not wanted to go, not yet.. Not alone. I got up and grabbed a blanket, placing it over my family. I noticed one of our gardening flowers in the living room, it was withering, but I took it and placed it on top of the blanket.

"Thank you.. For everything. I hope you were able to move on. I love you all... May we meet again."

A hiccup escaped my mouth, I quickly wiped my tears even though they kept on coming. My eyes went to the TV, the timer kept on going down and flashing, reminding me the time I had left to live the life I couldn't live at its fullest. I clenched my jaw and threw the closest thing to me on it, which was a family frame and made my way to the front door, locking it, out of habit and looked at my house I've lived it for the past 18 years.

All the good and bad memories flashing in my head, finally arriving to the conclusion even if I mostly had downs, I've enjoyed many moments of it. I was still glad to be able to live, experiencing things, even though I would have experienced more. Then the feeling of regret came to me, I shouldn't have wasted the time and moments I locked myself up in my room.

"Goodbye... My memory box."

With that, I made my way to the usual hangout of my friends and I. There was one more thing I wanted to say to someone first. The thought of them gone came across my head and my walking became jogging then running. The people in the streets were wildly insane. Some celebrating, some were trying to loot places before entering their bunkers, some were making out, some were crying. There were too many things happening, it terrified me. The sirens started to go and a mix of screaming, cheering and crying could be heard.

"I don't have much time... I need to see him... Its- AHH!"

The sound of guns could be heard, people started to shoot each other and a bunch of troubled people descended their vehicles and screamed 'We're all going to die soon, give up your life already'. That sentence caused a havoc amongst the people, bodies started to flop on the ground and blood spattered everywhere, this made me run faster. I stop dead in my tracks as I came face to face with the silent guy in my physics class who I would always bring his favourite chocolate chips cookie. My hands immediately went up as soon as I saw the crossbow he was holding.

“Nerd.”

Every step he took, made me insides hurt me even more. I would always try to cheer him up or make him smile or even get to open up, in the end I would always be the one ending up talking about how much of a wuss I am when I would always fail to get along with him again. He came up to me, his long pink hair swaying by his side, I closed my eyes and waited for the agonizing pain, but it never came, instead, I was engulfed in a warm hug. My eyes shot wide open as I returned the hug and squeezed the man.

“Thank you for being a wonderful friend to me. You made me feel things that a normal teenager should feel. What do they call it? Fireflies? No, I think it was butterflies. But too bad, it’s time to say goodbye now. I do admit, I will miss your rants.”

“Techno-“

“Dave, now go. Go to him.”

“Dave… thank you.”

I felt him give a small peck on my cheek before he turns away gracefully, I fully took note of what he was wearing, it was beautiful. He was dressed as if he was a king or even a god, his red cape flowing through the wind perfectly. I smiled and continued my course. After making turns, I finally arrived to the hangout spot, my running turned into jogging then walking, then I finally stopped, seeing his tall figure and his signature long brown coat and beanie.

"Wil-"

There he was. Comforting her, whispering things in her ear. The both of them were sitting on the bench we made, so the whole gang could fit in it. She looked up to him, her tears still falling down. I saw him lean in and she did the same thing. My breathing stopped. My head and thoughts went numb. Both of their eyes closing, lips about to touch. Before I could see the action happen, I was turned around, my face making contact with a torso and my body embraced in a hug. My sobs were silenced by the loud sirens. It hurts. He knew I liked him, he knew and now he's there kissing Niki.

My best friend.

I confessed to him, only to have him tell me he wanted space to think. Niki knew I liked him as well, hell she was the one who helped me gather my courage to go confess to him. Was I that oblivious to not notice the sudden change in Wilbur's behaviour whenever he saw Niki close or the way he talked, always harsh to me, but always soft to Niki? And the look he held in his eyes when I'm with him, nothing but boredom and annoyance and when Niki showed up, his eyes would light up and smile immediately. He would always find a way to finis the conversation quickly so that he can go talk with her.

I was blinded by what I thought was love.

"Let it out.. Let it all out y/n."

I recognized who it was just by the sound of his voice. Clay. I hugged him tighter, before my knees gave up, the both of us ending up on the ground. Never once Clay let me go. His arms were around me in a protective manner, his hand caressing my back and felt him humming something, head still on his chest.

Clay.

The one who was always been there for me when I was at my lowest and needed someone. The one who always took me out of my cave of a room when I was sad. The one who would stay up all night to play games with me. The one who helped me the most when my older sibling died. The one who would encourage me to go hang out with Nick, George and him when the others were having a chill hangout when I wasn't invited. The one who always cheered me up when I was gloomy and unwell. The one who always visited me whenever I missed a day in school.

He was the one who truly cared about my health.

The only one who truly cared about me.

I looked up to him, taking in all his features for the first time. His freckles sprayed perfectly on his face, his blonde hair was displayed in a messy way, they were wavy, reminded me of Wilbur's. His eyes were closed, eyelashes long as ever, lips looking plum and nose looking boopable. He wore a simple outfit, jeans with black converse and his signature lime green hoodie with a smiley face of it. The small breeze made his hair slightly move to the wind and made his eyes open. Those beautiful emerald green eyes.

Oh, they were the prettiest colour I've ever seen. Just looking at them, I got lost in them. They would always gave me a sort of warm and welcoming feeling. How could've I not looked at him like this before? Never once I fully took in his features. Clay, is the most beautiful man I've ever seen.

Why was I always focused on Wilbur?

When the one who truly cared for me, was always by my side?

A wave of guilt hit me, my vision becoming blurry ones again, Clay must've felt my shaking and heard my sobs once again. He looked down to me, eyes meeting each other's and a soft smile came across is beautiful face. I was no longer held in a hug, but his hands made contact with my cheeks, cupping them. He wiped away my tears with his thumb and put his forehead on mine. I found it selfish that I enjoyed this, Clay was always there for me and I wasn't able to pay his kindness.

"Clay... Why? You were always there for me, but.. I don't understand.. why?"

"It's you, y/n. It's always been you. I was head over heels for you, ever since I saw you for the first time. As we grew closer, I fell even more for you. Y/n, you're a wonderful woman, you're fucking gorgeous and you're amazing. Wilbur's a fucking asshole for not accepting you, the man fucked up and seeing you losing your smile.. It broke me. It fucking broke me. I didn't want you to lose that precious smile. You're an amazing person and you deserve the world, I.. I couldn't give you all of the things you deserve.

You went through so much and it always broke me seeing you unwell and unstable. I don't know how you do it... You're so fucking strong. After all that.. You still managed to keep a smile and be an optimist. I know that happy persona is nothing but a front, I know, trust me. — he paused for a moment, tucking a strand of loose hair behind my ear — Darling, you have no idea how lucky and happy I am to be able to see the real you. Every moment I spent with you, were the best moments in my life, Y/n."

I took in all of his words and played them in my head several times. I felt his thumb caressing my cheeks and hear him sniffle. I noticed the tears rolling down his face and this made something explode in my heart. I never saw Clay cry. Never once this man showed any sign of sadness or whatsoever before. Taking in on the fact that he was always on the one sided love destroyed me. He was making sure I was doing okay even though it meant to destroy him.

My thoughts were fighting against each other. All of the moments I have spent with Clay played in my head all over again. Remembering all of the times he would make me blush, because we would compliment me. The times were we would tease each other. The times were we would both pretend to be lovers just to be able to get 'couple discounts' and 'couple contests'. The moments I truly felt happy. And finally... The moment he would always make my heart skip a beat and give me butterflies. All of the thoughts led me to one conclusion that was written everywhere, all of the signs were there, but I was too blind actually see it...

Clay was the one I truly loved.

My eyes flickered to the object in the sky, slowly but quickly approaching us. I panicked and placed my hands on his cheeks. He looked at me in the eyes, his were red due to the crying and his expression was even more hard to take in. My breathing started to quicken, I shook my head, wanting to talk with him more, figure things out, but the object in the sky was making me stressed.

"Why..?! W..Why haven't you said anything Clay..?! I... Why only now??"

He looked up seeing the nukes coming closer and clenched his jaw. He once again faced me and pressed his lips against mine. My eyes immediately closed, suddenly forgetting about everything happening around us. Never wanting for this moment to end. When he pulled away, he pulled me back to reality. The sounds of the nukes coming was getting louder and louder. The lights started to blind my view.

"Clay.. Clay! N..No.. We can talk about this... I.. We can fix this... We can..."

Clay engulfed me in a hug, caressing me, trying to calm my horrified self. I clung onto the man whom I've realized, was the one. My cries were loud, I felt drops of water on my shoulder. He too was crying. Kissing my forehead on last time, he smile at me saying his final words.

"In another life... Maybe, it will be meant to be."

I looked at him for the last time, accepting my fate and gave him a genuine smile, for the first time.

"I love you."

unedited

published : June 20 2021, 4:40 am

modified : August 25 2021, 12:25pm

[cocastyle]

Robin — Prologue

Pairing - Joel Dawson x reader

Word Count - 2,756

A/N - and here is the prologue! this series is going to be so much fun and I hope everyone enjoys it as much as me! comment how you think it’s going so far and any theories you think may happen during the series!

if you would like to be added to the tag list, let me know!

R O B I N

Robin Series Masterlist

⭒❃.✮:▹   PROLOGUE   ◃:✮.❃⭒

"I didn't really have your typical upbringing. I mean, I did at first, but then the world ended. I mean, I don't think anyone was really shocked. We always thought it might, and then it just finally happened. But how it happened, now that's where it gets interesting."

"Agatha 616."

"Hey! I wanted to be the one to say that. You totally just stole my thunder, Robin. As disappointing as that just was, she's right. Yep, an asteroid heading straight for Earth. I know. So obvious. So, humanity came together, and we did what we do best."

"We shot a bunch of rockets at it!"

"And we blew it up! And it was great!"

"But it wasn't."

"Once again, she's right. You see, the thing that makes rockets rockets. . .chemical compounds, a lot of 'em. Which rained back down on us, and everything changed."

"And by 'everything,' he means cold-blooded creatures. And by 'changed,' he means mutated and started eating us to death."

"Ants, lizards, roaches, crocodiles. You name it. There's a lot of 'em. Actually, we knew this one kid who was eaten in his sleep by a goldfish he won at a carnival."

"Poor Todd."

"He loved that goldfish."

"And that cat of his that got eaten."

"Rest in piece, buddy. So, for most of human history, if you wanted to kill a cockroach, right, all you needed was a shoe. Well, suddenly you needed a shotgun. And sometimes even a tank. And sometimes even that doesn't work. Especially if you don't stay in the tank, Bob."

"Bob?"

"I was just saying a random name. I don't know if his name is actually Bob."

"Then why—?"

"Y/N."

"Right. Your speech, not mine. Sorry."

"Eventually, the really big creatures and our military took each other out. We lost 95% of the human population in about a year. That's a lot of Bobs."

"And a lot of Todds."

"Exactly. Those of us who survived we hid anywhere we could — bunkers, caves, panic rooms, all around the world. So for the last seven years Y/N and I have been living in an underground bunker. And it's not as bad as it sounds. Really. It's a great group of people, and we all love each other. You know, it's kinda what I imagined college would have been like."

"Definitely not, but believe what you want. Anyways, like Joel said, we've been living in an underground bunker for the past seven years. It's not always been the best at times, but we do what we need to in order to survive. But for you to understand our story, we need to go back to the beginning. . .to the day it all happened."

"Seven years ago, back when we were sixteen."

- - -

Seven Years Ago

Fairfield, California

The last thing Y/N wanted was to wake up at 5:30 on a summer morning, yet that was exactly what happened on the day the world ended. The annoying beeping sounds filling the air were all Y/N could focus on as she came to, her eyes squeezing shut as she groaned in annoyance and shoved her face into the pillow she was laying on.

She lazily shot her hand out and attempted to reach for her alarm clock, but hesitated when her hand hit what she knew to be the lamp that sat on the table in her living room. Y/N let out a sigh before slowly opening her eyes and looking around. It took a moment for her to realize what was happening, but once she saw the tv that was still on, the pizza box laying on the table with only one slice left, and the figure beside her on the couch Y/N knew what had happened.

Groaning as she looked towards her best friend Joel Dawson who had passed out on the couch beside her, the girl lifted up a pillow before saying, "Joel. Joel, wake up." The boy didn't respond, the only noise escaping his lips being the sound of his own snores. His watch was beeping on his arm, but he didn't seem to be fazed by it.

Y/N frowned before taking the pillow she had picked up and whacking Joel with it. The boy jumped in surprise and fell off the couch and onto the floor. Y/N fell back with a satisfied sigh while Joel groaned on the ground.

"What was that for?" Joel complained, lazily sitting up and rubbing at his eyes while the two looked tiredly at each other.

"Shut that stupid watch up before I do it myself," Y/N murmured. "And by 'do it myself' I mean I'm going to destroy that little fucker so it can never beep again."

Joel cracked a small smile at that before looking down at his watch and turning it off. His eyes flickered over the time and he frowned. "It's 5:30 in the morning? Wasn't it just midnight?" he asked.

"I think we fell asleep during the middle of Civil War. That's what we get for trying to watch all the Marvel movies in a row with no sleep," she said with a yawn as she closed her eyes once again.

"We were behind anyways," Joel pointed out as he pulled himself up off of the ground and back onto the couch so that he could put on his shoes. "We wouldn't have finished before I had to leave. Speaking of which, I've got to go. Aimee should be picking me up soon and I smell like pizza and tears."

"It's not my fault you cry during almost every movie," Y/N retorted.

"They're just so good!" Joel argued making Y/N smile softly as she let her eyes open up long enough to admire the boy. He was tying his last shoe, so didn't seem to notice as she slowly ran her eyes over the features of his face. However, the moment he was sitting back up, Y/N closed her eyes to make it seem like she wasn't watching him.

Joel looked towards her and stared at her for a moment before smiling and reaching out for the blanket that was already falling off of her and onto the floor. He picked it up and shook off the crumbs from the food they had eaten before laying it on top of the girl.

"Why do you have to leave?" Y/N whispered, opening her eyes up a bit while Joel finished fixing the blanket and kneeled onto the ground in front of her. He leaned against the edge of the couch so that the two could be face to face. The lack of distance was enough to make Y/N’s heart skip a beat, but she knew Joel wasn't thinking anything of it.

"I'm just going to go see Aimee for a little bit so that we can watch the sunrise. I'll be back after, okay?" Joel said. Y/N studied him for a moment before nodding her head. The boy grinned and pulled away to get up onto his feet again. "You try and catch up on some z's while I'm gone." Y/N nodded again and Joel leaned down to press a quick kiss to her forehead, an action that made the girl close her eyes in a moment of pure bliss. "I'll be back soon, Robin."

Y/N smiled softly at the nickname Joel had given her. He liked to refer to themselves as Batman and Robin and seeing as he had insisted he was Batman in their friendship, Joel had grown to call her Robin so much over the years that it now flowed off of his tongue naturally. Y/N had never bothered arguing with Joel about who was actually Batman, instead relishing in the way Joel would flash her that goofy grin of his when he called her Robin.

Y/N got too lost in her thoughts to notice Joel walking away until she heard the sound of the front door opened and closed. She opened her eyes for a moment, her heart sinking slightly as she thought about how Joel was leaving to be with his girlfriend Aimee. However, not wanting to dwell on the fact for too long, Y/N just closed her eyes and willed herself to go back to sleep.

Even after she fell asleep, her dreams were filled of nothing but her best friend who she had found herself falling for more and more since the second grade. Not that she was complaining. This was what her life usually was like. Y/N secretly pining over Joel while he dated other girls. It was hard to see, but Y/N knew that as long as he was happy, she would be happy even if it meant they didn't end up together.

Y/N slept for quite a while, hoping she would wake up to Joel returning and hopping back onto the couch with her. However, what she wasn't expecting was for the sound of an explosion to send her jolting off the couch while her whole house shook around her.

The girl fell to the ground with a groan, but her eyes shot open wide as the ground shook again and another explosion filled the air. "What-?" she whispered before slowly pulling herself up off of the floor and looking out the window. Her eyes widened at the sight of fire in the horizon and she felt a surge of panic wash over her as she heard the screams of people filling the air as families started running out of their houses.

"Mom! Dad!" Y/N called out, her parents running down the stairs not too long after that with their pajamas still on and their eyes still fighting away the sleep that had taken over them only a couple of moments before.

Y/N could barely process what was happening after that. The next thing she knew, they were all dressed and throwing their stuff into their car. Her parents were running around and arguing over what they actually needed, so the brunette took the time to look next door where Joel's house stood. Her eyes flickered over the scene, attempting to find her best friend but only seeing his parents.

"Y/N!" Mrs. Dawson exclaimed as she caught sight of the girl. She frantically ran across the yard to her, her hands grabbing onto Y/N’s arms as she asked, "Where's Joel? Where—Where is he?"

"I-I don't know," Y/N admitted, her eyes wide with panic as she still tried to process what was happening. "He left to go see Aimee earlier this morning. He didn't tell me where they went."

Mrs. Dawson frowned and was just about to say something more when a red jeep came barreling down the road and stopped in front of the house. Mrs. Dawson released Y/N immediately while the girl let out a sigh of relief as she saw Joel stumble out of the car.

"I'm sorry!" Joel exclaimed, barely getting his feet onto the ground before Y/N was running at him and practically jumping into his arms for a hug. Joel didn't hesitate to hug her back, his grip tight as he looked towards his mother.

"Thank God! Where have you been, Joel?" his mother asked.

"We have to go right now. Say your goodbyes, get in the car," his father told them.

Y/N then seemed to noticed Aimee who was watching her warily as if she could see right through the girl's facade. She let go of Joel and squeezed his arm before nodding towards Aimee. "Go say goodbye to her. I'm going to finish packing up and then we can talk," she told him.

Y/N didn't give Joel time to respond before she was running back over to her house where her parents were now throwing the last of their things into the car. She helped toss a few more things into the car before closing the trunk with her father. "Go say goodbye, Y/N. We need to leave. Now," her father said causing Y/N to blink in surprise.

"Goodbye? Aren't we going with the Dawsons?" she asked.

"Honey, we don't know where we're going. Our priority is keeping you safe, not trying to stay with the Dawsons," her mother told her.

"But—" Y/N began.

"Y/N," her father sternly said. Y/N frowned slightly and then with a shaky breath turned to begin her way over to Joel who was staring after his girlfriend as she walked towards her jeep.

"Aimee!" he called out causing Y/N to slow down her steps as she caught sight of the look in his eyes. "I love you."

Y/N went rigid at that, the sound of Joel saying those words to someone else making her feel like she may be sick. Tears begin to spring in her eyes and she desperately tried to stop herself, but she couldn't help it. She knew Joel had dated other girls before, but hearing him proclaim his love for one was something she had never had to witness.

And it hurt.

"I love you too," Aimee told him.

"I'm gonna come find you," Joel assured her.

"You better," Aimee said before hopping into her jeep and driving away.

Y/N was still frozen in place, her tears now falling freely down her face while Joel looked her way. His heart broke at the sight of her and he didn't hesitate to run over and wrap her up in his embrace. "Hey, we're going to be okay," he whispered, thinking that her tears were because of them having to say goodbye and not because of the interaction he had just had with Aimee.

Y/N seemed to snap out of her trance at that and she gripped onto Joel tightly, her tears becoming worse as she realized this could potentially be the last time she saw her best friend. "Joel," she whimpered. "This can't be goodbye."

"Hey, hey," Joel said as he pulled away enough to wipe way her tears, his hands cupping the sides of her face. "It's not. We've survived everything together. I'm not about to let this stand in our way either. We're Batman and Robin, remember? We'll always find our way back to each other."

Y/N let her eyes flicker over Joel's face, a few more tears rolling down her cheeks before she held her hand out. "Batman," she said with a small nod.

"Robin," Joel whispered, nodding back at her as he clasped her hand with his own. They held onto each other tightly before Y/N hugged him one last time.

"I love you," she whispered, knowing very well that he didn't understand the true meaning of her words.

"I love you too. We'll find each other, okay?" he said before he noticed Y/N’s parents anxiously staring at the pair. Sighing, Joel squeezed her tight one last time before pulling away and leaning forward to press a small kiss to her forehead. "Bye, Robin." And then he gave her that small goofy smile of his that only made her heart ache more.

"Bye, Joel," she whispered, allowing herself to look at him one last time before turning and running to the car her parents were already climbing into. Y/N didn't dare look back, knowing that if she did it would only make it that much worse.

We're Batman and Robin, remember?

We'll always find our way back to each other.

- - -

"Long story short, I was right and we did find each other again. Granted it took two weeks, but—"

"Well, sorry. I didn't exactly have the colony there to pick me up when my parents died. I had to find you guys all on my own."

"And I see my mistake and I apologize. You did better than I ever could and I love you for it. You see, Y/N’s been my best friend since we were in kindergarten. Some jerk named Harley thought it would be funny to shove me off the swing set and take the swing from me. Y/N thought differently and punched him so hard he flew off the swing as if he had purposefully jumped off."

"I got sent to the principal's office right after, but I gained Joel as my best friend, so it wasn't a complete loss."

"We've been practically inseparable ever since and not even the apocalypse was able to keep us apart for too long."

"And now that you all know how our story began and a little bit about us, we can skip ahead to where we are now, seven years later in an underground bunker."

"This is where our story really begins.”

[echo-three-one]

Run run run....

Table of Contents

Previous Chapter : Going Dark - Part 1

Chapter 23 to another story made by Ray (echo-three-one) Comments and Reviews appreciated! I hope you enjoy! Love you all ❤️

Going Dark - Part 2

John "Soap" MacTavish

London, United Kingdom

Soap never knew that the bloody guy would pull that trick off his sleeve. He's been sick of the same ringing he first experienced when they went out with Francine.

So he did what he could and quickly got up to his feet as soon as he saw Alex attempt to halt the hostage on his tracks. That bastard's going to pay for stomping on Alex like that.

With comms down once again, he had to act fast, stomping down the stairs, never leaving sight of the runner. He could sense someone following him and assumed it's any of Roach, Price or Jack. And it looked like Ghost caught wind of what happened too.

"Oi! Let's flank him!" Soap roared across the empty streets as Ghost and Roach split ways and ran toward their target.

They're not kidding when they said the Shadow Company is at par with the 141, the guy ran like a horse which Soap never expected from his build. He could see Ghost and Roach sprinting from his sides, one wrong turn and he's done for, but he still had one last trick. 

He raced to the emergency stairs as his heavy feet clanged against the metal. Soap followed, optimizing the steps on edges to gain on him. Going up the rooftops was his biggest mistake.

"Bollocks, he's still running!" he announced as he felt his ears crackling. 

"Well…. st….by…. do��.airs.." His earpiece crackled through the static. It's recovering but they're already far off MacMillan's truck where their line connected.

He leaped. Soap almost stopped in his tracks as the runner courageously leapt across the huge gap and rolled on to the next building. He braced himself and continued dashing across the roof and did a mighty leap, his arms circled like he was swimming and he carefully placed his feet to perform a proper land and rolled.

That's going to hurt as soon as the adrenaline fades, but he quickly got up and made use of his remaining burst of energy. 

The runner stopped in his tracks as soon as Roach emerged from the opposite fire escape, raising a pistol pointed straight at him as he raised his hand in surrender.

"Nowhere to run now." Roach said, cautiously walking near him. He's aware that his phone is still inside his pocket and that they had no idea when it'll go off again.

He didn't talk, but he looked panicked. He was sweating all over and his face was beyond recognizable. It looked like he's out of options.

"Tell us Where Shepherd is…" Gary pointed the loaded gun on his head, the desperation in Gary's eyes were obvious.

"There's an abandoned plane graveyard near Afghanistan…" he whimpered. His voice was shaky enough to warrant the truth.

"What's he doing there?" Soap added.

"He's trading the blueprints for the I.P. Address… Please that's all I know" he begged and they quickly left the place, walking back to MacMillan's car.

"You got something?" Ghost asked as soon as Roach's feet landed on the dark alley.

"A place. In Afghanistan." Roach answered.

"And he also had the I.P. Address.." Soap added.

"But that's impossible… didn't Samantha already forget about it?" Ghost asked but there was a quiet pause. Their brains almost looked like working together.

"Holy Crap." Roach finally broke the silence.

And from that moment they realized the other reason behind Samantha's memory returning. One way or another, her memories were once again toyed with.

~

"So how was it?" Price asked the team that ran off to chase the runner.

"We got an address. An abandoned plane yard in Afghanistan." Roach replied. Soap turned to Alex as he sat at the back of the jeep tending to his wound. 

"You okay mate?" he asked walking close to his ally, who was wincing in pain.

"The guy's boots are heavy." He chuckled and so did Soap.

"Listen, Alex. We heard that Shepherd has the I P. address, did Samantha tell you anything about remembering it?" Soap asked as the whole team fell silent and turned to the two.

"Not really. What's bothered me is that she remembers everything except after when Shepherd explained his plans to her… Could it be that…" Alex trailed.

"She remembered because they undid their operation on her…" Jack continued. The whole group stood in silence. 

Price's phone rang and delivered them with more bad news. It looked like while chasing the runner, Shepherd had caught wind of their activity and had some of London police scour the nearby streets for them.

"Da, It's time to go, my comrades." Nikolai announced as soon as Price relayed the message. Their ride home was compromised.

"Where to?" He asked.

"I know a place." Soap said.

TRAIN STATION

It looked like Soap's hunch was right. None of the people onboard to Scotland mind about the faces of the fugitives flashed on the news recently. 

Their day packs had reserved clothes and they opted to change to something more civilian. Soap could smell the fabric conditioner France used to wash his newly bought clothes and couldn't help but miss her. If they weren't on a rush, Soap could've topped up for international calls.

"How long is this trip? 7 hours?" Price asked a civilian with surprised expressions.

"Wow. It's like a plane ride, but I'm still in the same country!" Jack cackled at the idea. He does have a different sense of humor. Just as Alex described him.

The rest of the team took this time to rest, they sat on the emptiest part of the train, away from the people that might recognize them and report their presence.

"I've contacted Samantha. It looks like they're having a small problem over there." Alex said.

"Someone saw one of us fugitives and tried to get inside the house to claim his bounty. At first they just talked him off but he's persistent now. So they decided to fly to our location and regroup there. And Soap, where exactly are we going?" Alex asked. Soap took a careful look around his team and felt nervous about his decision.

"Our old house. In Scotland. It's far off civilization. I think no one would look for us there." he muttered, gaining a nod from Price and Jack. Soap sighed in relief as soon as they thought of it as a good idea. Roach actually felt excited despite having to go there by train for seven hours. He immediately made that decision a few minutes ago without anyone's approval, but desperate times called for desperate measures.

"Hey, you three… Thanks for chasing that runner while we were out. Go catch some sleep. We'll watch over this train. It's going to be a long trip." Price nudged and Jack nodded. Soap gave a pair of earbuds to Price, the old man immediately looked at him with question.

"What's this? A hearing aid?" Price asked.

"Our runner wore that so it might be the reason he wasn't affected by his own blast." He muttered before crossing his arms.

"Thanks, mate. I'll let someone have a look at this." Price nodded and Jack immediately inserted with a suggestion.

"I know someone near Glasgow. A close friend of mine." 

"That's great. He's closer." Price agreed and Soap slowly drifted himself asleep, trying to rest his tired legs all while also trying not to worry about Francine.

GLASGOW, SCOTLAND

The never shifting scenery of the road home sent John MacTavish into a little nostalgia trip. The sound of trains screeching across the station reminded him of so many things from the past.  The road they're walking along now was the same road he's walked on everyday of his life, and now after a lot of years, he can't believe he's back.

"I don't see anything nearby,  are you sure we're not lost Soap?" Roach asked.

"We aren't. The house is just obstructed by the trees. They've grown taller since I last left." he replied enthusiastically. He looked obviously excited to see his home.

As soon as they reached the short curve, a huge cream-painted house greeted them from the distance. He could hear Alex and Roach's collective oohs and aahs every step they took closer.

"When you said old, I was really expecting it to be abandoned." Roach mused.

"It is, actually. My parents are off… somewhere else." he replied leading the way inside the house. The pool was already dirty and most weeds already outgrew the fences.

Soap pushed the huge wooden double door open and was greeted by the same visage of their entrance way back when he was a kid. Same pictures hung on the walls of his adventures as a kid up to the recent photo of his graduation. His mom was always proud of him no matter what, but he couldn't forget the way she looked at him once he chose to enlist to the riskiest job ever.

The rest of the team helped themselves to discovering the inside of the house, looking at photos, sitting on the couches and grabbing a glass of water. Soap quickly gave them a tour of the house and that they're free to pick a guest room of their choice. It was appropriate that they'd feel comfortable after a tough day.

"Nice place you got here, comrade. Why'd you give this all up for a life that's always hanging on the ledge?" Nikolai asked, tapping his shoulder. 

"I don't even know." he muttered and Nikolai chuckled, making his way to the living room. The team was quick to adapt to the place. Roach and Ghost already chose their rooms and he assumed they already attempted to recover while the three older men gathered around the television and watched the news. Alex was by the telephone, probably contacting Samantha. He wanted to check on France himself, so he planned to go to his room and make a call.

"The New York attack stopped." Price discussed with Nikolai and Jack, the three began speculating about a lot of things. Soap would love to join in the conversation but he decided to update on Francine first.

His room looked the same as when he left, the same shade of blue wallpaper, the same color sheets that were changed weekly and the same things on top of his bedside drawer.

Dialing her number, which he subconsciously memorized, he immediately placed the receiver on his ear and anxiously waited for her to pick up the phone.

"Hello?" her voice sounded different over the phone, but it still sent shivers across his spine as soon as he heard it.

"Hey. It's me." he replied.

"Angelo?" she asked, her voice almost sounded like she's fighting herself not to laugh.

"It's John." 

"I know, silly. Who would mistake you for anyone else with that accent." she retorted.

"Do ya like it?" he teased, making sure he emphasized his Scottish accent well.

"Why'd you call?" She changed the topic. She wasn't budging on his teasing, but he knew she's already blushing on the other side of the line.

"Did Price give you the landing coordinates?" he asked.

"Yeah. Maxine looked it up on the map. It looks like a shady house in the middle of nowhere. Who are you?" she joked.

"Great. I'll see you here. I-" he hesitated. He wanted to tell her how much he misses her. But even with his oozing confidence, he felt like chickening out this time.

"Yeah. We're on our way. Take care out there John." She said and dropped the call. Soap sighed and plopped himself on his bed, deeply sighing at his actions. This girl was making him crazy… and the funny thing is he's all fine with it.

Next Chapter : Going Dark - Part 3

Notification Squad my Beloved

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Gateway Drug | Part Eighty-Six

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The only sound is the clock ticking on our lawyer's desk, and the soft pattering of rain coming down.

"Just sign and initial and we'll get these back to the judge for approval." Nikki's lawyer tells us and I rub my lips together. 

We both grab the pens he hands over to us, hesitantly, and Nikki clears his throat, his hand hovering over the first page of lines to be signed.

If he signs them, I'll sign them, I say to myself. 

His pen presses to the paper, and it's as if he's trying to force himself to sign them...nothing happens, though. 

The lawyer notices this. 

"They can't be registered for approval if they're not signed." He adds, looking at the both of us. 

Nikki just rolls his eyes and taps his foot, nervously rubbing the back of his neck. 

"Are you sure you want to do this?" I ask him softly, hoping to God he says, "no." 

"Yeah, Vivian. I'm sure." He states, still looking at the papers, pen still…

I get the "V" of my signature written and he looks down and scribbles across his paper, standing up. 

"Fuck this, c'mon." He hisses and I look at him, wide eyed as he grabs my hand and pulls me up. 

"W-What?" I ask. 

"I'm retracting." He tells his lawyer as he walks out, taking me with him. 

"Nikki, what the hell are you doing?" I ask him, confused as we walk down the stairs of the law firm. 

"I've broken every fuckin' vow except 'till death do us part' and I'll be fucked to hell if we stuck it out and stayed with each other after the worst bullshit just to fucking divorce." He tells me. 

One Month Earlier

I went to see him to try to understand where exactly we were in our relationship, if he even really wanted a divorce or if he was just wanted to start over, but, like always…

"I don't understand why you're being so stubborn, Viv--"

"--Because you want me to sign papers you filed less than 24 hours after you freaking died, Nikki!" I whisper yell. 

"I assure you, I'm well aware!" He replies in the same quiet tone. "Sign the fucking papers."

"None of my grandparents ever divorced, my parents aren't divorced, I am not getting divorced. I'm a Christian, we don't do divorce." 

"Well, you're not supposed to do sex before marriage or adultery, either, but that sure as shit didn't keep your panties on." He mumbles. 

"Do you really bring up who did what because I assure you, your list is a hell of a lot longer than mine." I reply. 

"Oh, is it?" 

"Oh, it so is and you know it is." 

He covers his ears and glare at him, flaring my nostrils. 

"Are you serious right now?" 

"I can't hear you." He tells me and I reach across the table and snatch his hands away from his ears, scowling. 

"You are acting like a child right now!" I scold him. 

"Now you know how I feel while trying to get you to just sign the damn papers!" He replies, crossing his arms. "But if you stay like this I might reconsider." He adds, his eyes on my chest where I'm leaning over. 

"You aren't even taking this seriously, Nikki." I shove at his shoulder before sitting back down and he chuckles. 

"I am, too," He argues. "You just look good." 

"You're changing the subject." 

"I can't compliment you?" 

"Not when it's just to change the subject." 

"I'm not changing the subject."

"Just like you to file for a divorce and then not want to discuss it with the woman who's put everything into the marriage you want wiped from existence." 

"Now, you're pissing me off." 

"You pissed me off when I got those damn papers with no warning."

"That's a lie, Vivian, the past year has been a fucking warning--especially with the amount of times you've thrown divorce in my face if I didn't straighten up. Remember that?"

"That's different. It was incentive to get you to act right."

"I didn't have any 'act right' left in me by that point." He states. "Unless it was for you." He smirks and I kick him under the table. 

"Quit being a pervert." 

"That's not perverted."

"This is a serious talk, Nikki, and you're trying to get out of it."

He opens his mouth to talk but I cut him off. 

"And I swear to God if you say, 'I'm trying to get you out of something,' I'm going to come across this table and make you wish you had died." 

"Is that a promise?" He raises a brow.

"I forgot how ridiculously immature sober Nikki is." I hiss. 

"No, no, baby, this isn't even 'sober' Nikki. This is 'I don't have even the slightest sprinkle of anything in me for the first time in ten fucking years and I'm slowly starting to lose my fucking mind just a little bit' Nikki. Now just imagine staying married to this." He explains to me and I cut my eyes. 

"Why the hell are you trying to convince me to want to divorce you?" 

"Because you told me to fucking divorce you, remember?" 

I furrow my brows. 

"The day I got home and we got into that argument and you told me to just divorce you. So I'm trying to." 

"You know that's not what I meant, Nikki." 

"What the fuck did you mean, Vivian, because you fucking said, 'just divorce me then'." 

"I didn't mean the next fucking day." 

"You're crazy." He tells me. 

"I'm crazy? I tried to throw myself off of a balcony when I thought you died and you thought it'd be a good idea to break up with me hours later?! Are you sure I'm the only crazy one?!" 

"You told me you wanted out--multiple times." 

"And you told me you loved me." 

"Oh, oh, oh, woah, woah, wait a damn minute, that was a fucking coke binge mixed with alcohol, talking."

"Wasn't much talking, just a lot of crying and begging." I point out and he shakes his head a little, rolling his jaw. "Just for you to come home and file for divorce." 

"Fuck you, Vivian."

"Fuck you, Nikki." 

We both puff up and pout, arms crossed, glaring at each other with "go to hell" looks. 

"...So?" Doc asks us when he comes back to check in on us. 

"She's still that bratty little spoiled prude that would argue with me for the hell of it that she was when I first fucking met her." He snaps. 

"And he's still Satan's evil Spawn." I bark. 

"I'm about to take you to the bathroom." He threatens me. 

"I'd rather have sex with Bret Michaels." I shoot back. 

"At the rate you're going, I believe it." 

"Do we need to talk about the threesome you had with Tansy and Vanity, now, or…?" 

"Wasn't Tansy." He states. 

"Really? Then who was it with?"

"Let's not do this here." Doc says quietly, apparently we're getting louder than we thought, other visitors and patients glancing at us uncomfortably. 

I wanna see them be married to Nikki Sixx and try to handle their shit quietly. 

"Sign the damn papers, Vivian." Nikki tells me as I stand up, grabbing my purse and scoffing. 

"You and your damn papers can go burn." I mumble to him.

"You know I'm right!" He calls after me, I just flick him off, turning my hand to him as I walk away.

When I get back to the house, I'm faced with the boxes I've got stacked and packed, groaning at the mess I've made trying to get our things sorted out--well, my things. 

"Viv?!" Sharise calls from our guest bedroom. 

"It's me!" I call back, hearing Whisky running from where she is to me. 

"Hey, baby boy." I greet him, patting his head. 

"I didn't know what to do with this," she carries down the big white box with my wedding dress in it. "And Sky's asleep, she's had a big afternoon with woof-woof." She states, using Skylar's nickname for Whisky. 

"Aww," I say and take the box from her and carry it to the dinner table. "I haven't opened this since we got married." 

"I wonder if you could still wear it." She adds and I raise my brows. 

"Hell, if I know." I mumble. "I'm not gonna need it anymore."

"Oh, don't say that." She tells me. 

"He's serious about the divorce, Sharise." I state. 

"He's gone through a lot of stuff, Viv. You both have. He's not thinking clearly." 

"Well, I am, and I don't want a freaking divorce." 

"Yeah, but that's you." She reminds me. "I'm sorry it's something you're having to go through but you don't need to be with someone that wants to leave the marriage." 

"I guess." 

"Or you two will work things out and it'll be fine." She says next, optimistic. 

"Work it out…"

I'm hunched over the toilet a week later at the house, puking my guts up, trying to take deep breaths as I think I finish, only to be met with another wave of vomit, my throat and nose burning as regurgitated stomach acid stings at it.

"Shit." I grumble to myself, taking deep breaths…

I glare at the positive pregnancy tests--the reason for my nausea, mainly. 

"Damnit, Vivian." I say to myself, tiredly, trying not to start crying.

Whisky's standing under me and I just sit on the bathroom floor and cry, hugging the dog when he gets closer to me to run his nose against my hand. 

What the hell am I going to do? What the hell am I going to tell Duff? What am I going to tell Nikki? I want him to stay with me but I'm pregnant with a baby that isn't even his. I know he knows about me and Duff, now, but a baby from it would be a constant reminder that, "hey, remember that time you and your wife fucking hated each other and she fucked Duff McKagan while you were overdosing?" 

I hit myself internally, wiping my eyes. 

I knew this was a risk, so I'm not surprised--just pissed at myself. 

I'm not on birth control, I don't like condoms, I'm lucky I don't have an STD but a fucking baby with Duff? 

What's my dad going to think? 

What's Duff's family going to think, especially if by some miracle Nikki and I do stay together...what will happen with his chance to find someone else. Most women in their 20s in L.A. don't want to play step-mom right now. 

The press will have a field day with this…

My mind shifts to Nikki's granddad.

Damn it. 

I glance at the clock that reads 1:34a.m. and let out a breath, exhausted, before opening the bathroom drawer and putting the pregnancy test in it, sniffling. 

I rummage through our cabinets for something to help me sleep, finding some NyQuil.

I decide to take it since the only reason I had a reaction to it last time was because I mixed it with my antidepressant, and I go lay down, looking at Whisky getting in beside me, laying on Nikki's side of the bed, my mind plucking at a familiar sight not too long ago.

"Where the hell is Nikki at?!" I hear Doc shout over the bustle backstage, and I furrow my brows, stopping my conversation with Tawny Kitaen--who's here with David Coverdale--as Doc looks at me. 

"You know where the fuck Sixx is?" He snaps at me. 

"No, I came with Sharise and Heather." I tell him. 

"Is Nikki even fucking here?!" He shouts next. 

"How the hell am I supposed to know, Doc?!" I yell back, getting pissed. 

"Maybe because you're his wife?" I hear someone cut in, sounding irritated, and I slowly turn around and see Bobby Dall leaned against an amp, his arms crossed. 

"Maybe lick my twat." I snap back, harshly. 

"I'm missing a fucking bassist that's supposed to go on in fifteen fucking minutes!" Doc yells over everybody, making me and Bobby shut up our bickering that's about to inevitably start. "Has anybody seen or heard anything from Nikki Sixx?!" 

We all glance at each other, not saying a word. 

"Fuck!" He outbursts, storming away to call the office back home. 

Bobby huffs out a breath and pushes past me and Tawny, while I just glare daggers into him. 

It was Day on the Green, a big music festival in Oakland, California, and on the second day, Whitesnake, Poison, and Mötley Crüe were set to perform. But once it was Mötley's turn, nobody could find Nikki. I had come with Sharise and Heather. Nikki had attempted to kick smack, again, so we all thought that's what delayed his arrival...come to find out…

"I've been up three fucking days freebasing, Tommy, alright?" He snaps to a pissed off Tommy and Vince after, "You're fucking shooting up again," leaves Tommy's lips. 

The guys are pissed off--the most pissed I've ever seen them at Nikki--and the fans, who've been waiting for nearly an unacceptable amount of time for Mötley Crüe, are bustling with impatience as Nikki steadily drinks from a bottle of Jack to bring himself down some.

He glances at me and snarls. 

"Get her outta here. I can't do shit with her looking at me like I'm dead." He snaps to Fred and I roll my jaw and leave him be.

By the time the show goes on, it's so obvious that Nikki's out of it, his eyes wide and wild, his brain fried…

Once the part of the show happens where Vince brings out bottles of Jack for Nikki and Tommy to chug on stage, I feel my eyes water, seeing Nikki scrambling to get up where he threw himself down the stage, to grab the fifth of Jack from Vince. 

He chugs half, Tommy chugs half, and when Nikki comes to grab some water to try to keep up and finish the show as strong as he can, he takes two big gulps of water and hisses a bit of it back up, coughing and hacking. 

I'm assuming he grabbed Micks straight vodka by accident. 

The show ends soon, and Nikki's slobbering drunk, looking tired and worn down. 

"I'm fuckin' going home." He tells Doc, pushing past him. "Vivian, baby, c'mon." He tells me, surprisingly gentle, slurring and taking heavy breaths. 

I think he's just that damn tired. 

"You don't want to stay and try to sober up some?" I ask him, calmly. 

"No, I just wanna go home." He repeats. 

I tell the girls and boys, 'bye,' right before Doc hammers us with when we need to be at the airport to leave for the next shows on the tour. 

I can see Nikki being bombarded with Doc, bitching him out for being late while simultaneously threatening him if he doesn't get his shit together before they do the next line of shows...his eyes growing more and more distant with each word. 

"You know how many fuckin' people you disappointed tonight, Nikki?" Doc asks him next. 

"Doc, he gets it, alright." I interrupt since Nikki's not saying anything to him. I take Nikki's hand and pull him to the door. 

"He obviously doesn't get it, Vivian." He bites at my heels, following after us. 

"I get it, you're pissed, but can we please do this another time?" I hiss, snapping around to him, glancing around at the different roadies backstage, some of the members of other bands and their girlfriends and wives looking uncomfortable with Nikki getting his metaphorical asshole torn into a million pieces by Doc. 

"You've both been saying that for the past year, Vivian, so no. We can't do this another time." Doc tells me, fed up. 

"Well, me and him are." I argue, turning back around and grabbing Nikki's arm to keep walking.  

Nikki's not even here mentally. It's like he's sedated. 

"Just go ahead and enable him, Vivian." Doc outbursts to me, still behind us with each step, and I turn and throw my fist to his face as hard and fast as I can, hearing a satisfying crack in his cheek. 

Eyes widen around us, Fred is rubbing his face as he steps to us, Tommy, Vince and Mick glaring at me...they can all think Nikki Sixx married a batshit bitch. 

I don't care anymore.

When we get on the plane Nikki flew in on, he sits down and stays quiet as I sit across from him. 

The only thing he tells me the entire hour and a half worth of flight is, "I've fucking done it again," I'm assuming in reference to messing things up. 

He locks himself in the closet when we get home, and I spend the night wide awake, staring at Whisky where he's laying on Nikki's side of the bed.

"You and me again." I say to him, reaching out and rubbing his head as he stretches.

I blink the memory back, still looking at Whisky. 

"You and me again."