#our freezers are fridges now and its only a matter of time til we have to start throwing ungodly amounts of food out

[bonestrouslingbones]

i now understand the anger people describe when they see other folks just going about their lives entirely unaffected by disasters

[netflixmomma516]

Her Secrets 4 - 13RW Series

Part 1    Part 2   Part 3

I pull out my phone and see 20 missed calls all from Jeff, Jess, and Scott. Only 8 voicemails though. I decide not to listen to them. I pull myself together enough to drive home. 

I still see the unfamiliar car in the driveway, but at the moment I don't care. I cut the engine by the car, and I take a deep breath. My body is so exhausted. I touch my belly, "we're okay." I whisper to the growing baby in my belly.

I make my way into the house, and see my dad and the woman standing in the kitchen. I don't care about my father's love life, it's his life, he's plenty old enough to make his own decisions without telling his 18-year-old daughter. 

"Oh hey YNN, I wasn't expecting you home so soon." My dad looks shocked that I just caught him in an affair. "The smell of alcohol didn't agree with the baby," I said not trying to hide anything from this woman, even if my dad was probably trying too. "Oh well, YN this is Janet." I half smiled at her. She had beautiful chocolate brown hair, with hazel eyes and tan skin; looking about my dad's age. "Nice to meet you, I've heard a lot about you." Oh great. Those words are never good to hear. "Nice to meet you, but don't let me interrupt, I'm going to bed." I quickly say backing up to the stairs 

"Do you want food YNN? I know my grand-baby needs something to eat." I smile at my dad, a real genuine smile. 

I feel like the first time in 16 years my dad is actually concerned about me. "Sure." Food does sound really good since I did throw my lunch up. "Give me 5 minutes and I'll bring it up to you." My dad tells me as he was opening the fridge to pull out leftovers. I smiled at him.

I made my way to my room to change into pajamas. I curl up in bed and turn on the TV.

I hear a knock on my door, "come in." I yell to who I'm assuming is my dad on the other side. The door opens to reveal my half-gray-haired father. He has a plate of food in his hands and hands me it. I gladly take it. "So what happened at the party?" He asked concerned. "Nothing, we got there and I just smelled the alcohol and bugs didn't like it," I said finally taking a bite of the delicious food in front of me. "Did you just run off or did you tell your friends why you threw up?" "I just ran off," I answered with some food still in my mouth. "I know you want me to keep the secret too, but it's going to get out eventually." My dad makes a good point. "I'll take the risk," I tell him. He looks at me with understanding and kisses my forehead.

--

"YNN wake up!" I hear my dad yell from behind the door. I roll my eyes and yell groggily, still half asleep. "What?" My dad opens the door, "you have a visitor by the name of Jessica." Dad looked at me confused as I gave him the same look. I walk down to the front door and see my friend looking at me. She runs for me and embraces me in a bear hug. I stumble backward at the hard contact.

She grabs my shoulders and looks at me in the eyes, "are you okay?" I smile at her. "Yeah." I laugh and pull her into my room. "We've all been calling and texting you like crazy." She informed me like I didn't know. "I know." I huff sitting on my unmade bed. "Why have you been ignoring us? Especially me. I thought we really had a bonding moment last night." She said sitting next to me. "I didn't mean to Jess, I must've eaten something bad for lunch, and I didn't want to be sick around everyone. When I got home I went straight to bed." I lie straight through my pearly white teeth. "Oh, I completely understand. You should've told us you didn't feel good." "I didn't want to ruin the mood, everyone was so ready to party," I confess. I didn't want to ruin the mood.

"Well, Jeff and Scott were worried sick about you." She confesses to me. "Do you feel better today?" She asks hopefully. "Yeah, a lot." "Well good, because you need to be ready for your date with Jeff." I looked at her confused. How the hell did she know about my date, because I didn't tell her? 

"Jeff told me he was taking you to the lake." She said as if she read my mind. "You should feel special he's taking you to the lake." I looked at her super confused this time. Why should I feel special? What is so special about a lake? "The lake is about an hour drive from here, when he gets super stressed out or just needs to be alone he goes up to the lake." I used to have a spot like that but mine was a creek about 10 minutes from my house. No one knew that was my place to escape except one person. That one person ruined my life.

- I start running, I run til my legs give out from underneath me. Sam and I had a fight, ever since I was 14 I go to the creek. I'm sitting by the waterfall, listening to the water rushing down the rocks, an owl hooting up in the trees. The moon seemed to light everything up. 

I see a black truck make its way down the road. I instantly freeze. The truck stops, "YN?" I hear a male voice slowly approach. "Andy?" I ask recognizing the voice. "What are you doing out here?" He asks as he takes a seat next to me. I shrug, "Sam and I got into a fight again." I huff wiping the tears away. 

"Whenever I need to get away from life for a little bit, I come out here. No one rarely comes out here." I confess and shrug my shoulders. My hands go in the water and make circles. Andy quietly sits next to me.

"I promise I won't tell anyone about this place for you." He smiles at me. "Thanks, Andy." I lean on him. -

I looked at her with a smile. "I'm ready," I say unsure if I believe my words. I'm scared. I'm scared of getting hurt again. "Good, let's go eat and then I'll get you ready." I smile, "okay." We walk out of my room and walk down the stairs to see just my dad in the kitchen on the phone. I smile at my dad as he looked super stressed, yelling at whoever is on the other end. Probably work stuff that I don't get. 

I shrug at Jess as she gave me a questioning look because of my dad. She shakes off her look as I open the fridge and freezer. I hand her some waffles. I feel my stomach rumble. I quickly pop the waffles in the toaster. "Do you want some coffee?" I whisper to her, trying not to interrupt my dads yelling match on the phone. "Sure," she smiles at me. I quickly start the coffee maker.

My phone rings on the counter, indicating a text. I grab it and see it's Jeff. My smile instantly appears on my face. There's just something about this guy. 

Jeff; Hey YNN, are we still on for tonight? 

I feel a surge of guilt about last night. 

Me; Absolutely. 

I will apologize on the drive to the lake. 

I want to see if he will believe a bullshit lie I come up with. I might stick to the lie I told Jess that I just ate something bad for lunch and didn't want to ruin the party. "I'm going to pick an outfit for you while you go shower." Jess pushes me into my bathroom. I laugh. "Okay. Nothing too over the top please." I smile at my new best friend. "Of course." She flips her hair over her shoulder. I shut my bathroom door, and strip down and turn on the water. Not too hot. I turn sideways in the mirror to see if I can tell if I'm gaining any weight. A little pudgy but nothing drastic yet. I rub my belly as I smile at my growing baby bump. It doesn't matter what happened, I still love this little baby that is growing inside me.

-- I run to the nearest bathroom, thankfully it's empty, I lock myself in the stall and lost control. It all came out. I sink beside the toilet and start sobbing. "Why?" I instantly knew. -

Jess hands me my underwear and bra first as I stand before her in just my towel. "Okay here," she hands me a really cute outfit. "Thank you. It's so cute Jess." I hug her as I finished zipping my jacket halfway. "You're welcome. Now sit." She pulls out my vanity chair. --

"You look perfect. You don't look like you're trying too hard at all." Jess smiles at me, as I smile back at her in the full-length mirror. I'm still super nervous about this date with Jeff. I look at my reflection, my curly hair cascading down my back. My natural makeup complementing my eyes perfectly. "Jeff will be a fool if he doesn't think you're beautiful right now." I smile at Jess and plop onto my bed next to her. I have 20 minutes left before he was going to pick me up for our date. I pull out my phone and scroll through my social media.

"So did you tell Scott what happened?" Jess interrupts my reading about something not important. 

To be honest, I haven't even thought about Scott in the last 24 hours, my date with Jeff has gotten me too preoccupied. 

"Honestly haven't thought about it," I say truthfully. "You at least need to let him know you're okay." Jess retorts. I huff thinking back to seeing him and Chloe flirting at our lockers. 

"Why? It's not like he cares he's probably with Chloe anyway." I say bitchy, at the ache in my heart that wasn't there 1 minute prior. "Why would you say that?" She asks worried about my switch in demeanor. "Jess you didn't see the way Scott looked at her or Chloe looked at him yesterday in the hall or even lunch." I huff trying not to be too butthurt about this stupid crush. "YNN, Chloe is just jealous because she found out that Scott kind of likes you, and he invited you to guys night at Bryce's place earlier this week." She confesses. "No girl is allowed at guys night, not even me and I'm Justin's girlfriend." She continues. "Chloe sees you as a threat." She looks at me sympathetically. "But honestly you have nothing on her. At least you're not a conniving bitch." She laughs. "Hey, you don't know me that well yet," I say half-joking. 

What will everyone think when my secret does come out. I know it's inevitable that it will get out. What do I say when I gain 20 pounds in the next 3 months? I've been binge eating because my dad actually cooks homemade meals.

I hear a knock on my door, knowing it's my dad, I casually say, "come in." Sure enough, it was my dad, "So am I meeting this boy before he goes out with my daughter?" He smiles at me. Wonder how he knew I was going out tonight? Maybe he overheard Jess and mines conversation. I smile at my over-protective father, "If you want." I shrug, not really caring if my dad meets Jeff. Jeff is a great guy and he seems like a boy my dad would love to see me go out with. "Of course I want to meet the young man that is taking my daughter out tonight." He smiles the same smile I have. "Okay," I smile back. 

I look back down to my phone and quickly type.

Me; Hey Jeff so my dad wants to meet you before you take me out. 

I send it. 

Jeff; Of course. 

My butterflies come back. The first date since everything happened 2 months ago. 

-- Sam hands me a red solo cup, "what is it?" I ask. "Try it." He says. I take a sip, my nose scrunches and I instantly get a warm feeling. I smile knowing exactly what it is. I take another drink. --

I hear the doorbell and I hurry to the door, but my dad beats me to it. I huff as my dad opens the door revealing the tall man. He immediately smiles at my dad, "Hello Mr. YLN, I'm Jeff Atkins." He holds his hand out for my dad to shake. "Nice to meet you Jeff, but you can call me YDN." He takes his hand and shakes it. My nerves quickly subside seeing my dad impressed with his handshake. 

My dad looks at me just as they let go of their handshake. "Hi YN," Jeff smiles his perfect smile at me. His plain white shirt covered by a black jacket. I smile at him. "Hey Jeff," I casually say, trying to calm my butterflies in my belly. "Hey Jeff," Jess interrupts our moment. "Hey, Jess." He smiles a friendly smile. I didn't know guys had a different smile for everyone, my dads was a nervous one, mine was a relaxed perfect smile, and Jess's was a friendly one.

I couldn't help but feel more compelled by this guy.

"So where are you going?" My dad interrupts everyone and turns his attention to Jeff. Jeff's eyes immediately meet my dad's gaze. "The lake, it's about an hour North of here." He says honestly. My dad quickly shakes his head, "What time should I expect YNN home?" He presses again, "11?" Jeff says as more of a question. "Okay, have fun." I let go of the breath I didn't know I was holding. I smile at my dad. This is the first time I've ever seen him act like a normal dad to an 18-year-old daughter. 

"Are you ready YNN?" Jeff asks holding his hand out to me. I smile a relaxed smile and grab his hand. "I love you, dad." He bends down a little so I can kiss his cheek. "Love you, be careful." "I will take good care of her I promise," Jeff answers for me. My dad shakes his head in confirmation at Jeff.

We walk out to Jeff's Chevy Silverado, Jess trailing behind us. "Have fun guys." She says to us as she climbs into her Rover. "We will," Jeff answers. I smile. He opens the door for me to climb into his truck. He closes the door when I'm securely in. I blush, no guy has ever done that for me. He climbs into the driver's side. He huffs. "Hi YN." He looks over at me and smiles to me. "Hi, Jeff." I smile at his nervousness. He starts backing out onto the main road.

"So how are you?" He asks confident, all the nerves that were surrounding us just seconds ago disappear. Relaxed. That's a good word to describe how I feel. "I'm good, I feel a lot better." Remembering my run out last night. I huff preparing myself to lie. "I'm sorry about last night..." I trail off. 

He grabs my hand that was in my lap, he intertwines our fingers, "It's okay, Jess told me your lunch didn't agree with you." I smile guilty, hopefully, he can’t see the guilt in my smile. "I completely understand YNN. I just wish you would've told me, I would've gone with you." He looked at me with a sympathetic look and looked back to the road. His fingers still intertwined in my mine. I smile at his huge hands that swallow my child like hands.

"What are you thinking about?" He asks taking me off-guard. I cant tell him what I'm really thinking about, which is if only he knew the truth would I be going to his favorite place to hide out. The answer is no. He's 18 years old he has his whole future planned out; I assume. "Thinking about how you're taking me to your place." He looked at me confused, "What do you mean my place?" I huff, remembering my place, and how that place is now a haunted memory of what happened to me. "The place no one knows about, the place you go to too hide out from the world. When the world gets to much for you to take, you go there and feel like everything is good with the world again."

I huff remembering when my dad told me he was leaving I ran for a half hour to the creek. I just heard all the sounds of nature, the creeks water talking to the birds in the trees. "Everyone knows about it. Just no one is allowed to come with me when I go up there." His grip tightens on the wheel, like I hit a huge nerve saying that. "Why?" I simply ask. That was like me, no one was ever allowed to go with me down there. "Because when I'm in a bad mood, no one wants to be around me." He confesses. His grip loosens just a little bit. I drop the subject. I'll ask a little more later. I might confess my secret place to him. I'll keep one little detail out though. 

- "YFN!" My dad yells. "No, dad you're leaving me!" I scream with tears streaming down my freckled face. "To make a better life for us." He explains. "No, to make a better life for yourself. To get away from me, my mom." 

I cant stand here anymore. I run out the front door. "YN! YN!" I hear my dad scream after me. I run, I run til my little legs cant do it anymore. I continue to walk. The trees get thicker. The creek is rushing past me. I collapse next to the creek. The birds whistle all around me, the sound of the creek rushing past without a care in the world. No one can find me.