#our father who art in heaven please make him fuck off

[aestheticsyoutubers]

calvin, calvin9000 ↳ steve dweller is terrifying.. minecraft: from the fog s2: e15

[wintrata]

and so the Righteous Man knelt;

pairing: dean winchester/castiel tags: spn 15x18 kinda-coda, angst, major character death, flash fic, 700wc (read on ao3)

Our Father, who art fucking around Somewhere, You know ain’t the praying type, but I don’t know what to do without him.

and so the Righteous Man knelt;

Our Father, who art fucking around Somewhere, You know ain’t the praying type, but I don’t know what to do without him. It’s been an hour and a half and I don’t think I’m getting up off of this floor, ‘cause he loves me. I never even got to say it back. Did You write my heartbreak, too?

Hallowed be thy name when he calls for You, even when You didn’t think to answer back, and that’s years, man, I watched him. I saw the fall. I’d say sorry for planting the seeds of doubt in Your good soldier’s heart but that was Your work as much as it was mine. You never even picked up the phone.

Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven. Does that please You? Is that sufficient? That my mama died flaming on burning plaster over my dad, and You wrote the pages to that book, was it enough? My baby tells me he loves me and has to leave, did You need more, still? Why would Thy Will need all this bleeding? Why would Thy Will mean the first of the sins was love? That all we’d ever do was get it wrong? I’m no saint, I know my day will come, and You’ve no room for me upstairs, I won’t fight that, but I love him, and I haven’t let him know yet.

Would You give us this day, and the day after that? Just a fraction of a fraction of a moment of his time, I’ll make him sandcastles and breakfast, and apologise some more. I don’t beg, You know that, You wrote that into my wirings. You know I’m telling the truth, but just give him back to me, I’ll not bite the hand that I eat from. I don’t trust myself to be deserving but for him You know I’d try. Just a day. For a day with my baby I’d penance with my life. Pay another forty years in the pit You heated, for the forty years I did it all wrong. Your measure of a lifetime in sulfur and sores for the one I'm living now, I haven't got much left anyway. I’ll make churches with my bare hands, if You bring him back, I would swim the deep, dig the grave back open, fit back into the box. Say You are love. Say You loved the world so much You gave Your only son. Say I'm desperate. Say I love him so much I don't even have to be here for it if it meant he'd wake in his bed and hold his son, I’m praying, man, can You hear? Can't You give him the chance I'm not gettin'? I can’t be all grief and handprints and running.

Do You take deals, God? I’ll put the drink down, I’ll stop the lies, give back our daily bread, our tender meat, the next headless corpse or frightful spirit, another go at my soul. Bring my sweetheart back.

And forgive us our trespasses, I promise not to make any more, do You hear me? It means You’ve won, it means I’m Cain, means I’m crawling on the dirt, I’m the murder. Means I'm whatever you need me to be. Means I’m scared. Means I’m afraid that if I were to lift my stone-wielding hand and ask my little brother to close his eyes, he would understand and turn his back to me. He knows I'm asking for my love back. He’d forgive me for this, just as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil,

or at least deliver him to me. Or me to him. Or someone good to somebody who don't deserve 'em but loves 'em like nothing You've ever written in Your good Book. If You opened the door I would ask to be folded into the Empty just as he. I don't suppose I'm asking for too much. Heaven is a peace I'm not getting but long already made. If You can't lead him back to the phonebooth, can You at least let me slip into the dark?

Amen.

[drwcn]

NEW!

《 Without Envy 》 storyboard 11 - concubine/sleeper agent!wwx & prince!lwj

Other snippets and storyboards can be found on [Master List]

Lan Wangji knew his Uncle and the imperial court and the elders of the royal family were never going to be okay with him making Wei Wuxian one of his concubines. The servant status is one thing, but that's not the crux of the issue. The issue is that there's already a rumour circulating about how WWX is a wily fox whose sole purpose in life is to seduce and befuddle the prince. Xue Yang: quite a reputation you've cultivated for yourself. WWX: *kuzo's meme*.........ah yes, everything is all coming together now.

Lan Wangji is a smart boy though. He knows how to get what he wants. As Wei Ying inched towards full recovery from his whipping, the autumn hunt is upon them.

The autumn hunt in the royal hunts ground was a competition. Anyone invited could compete if they chose to, and of Lan Wangji's household, Jin Ziyan, Luo Qingyang and himself were in attendance. Mianmian, being his concubine and a woman, had two escorts/chaperones accompanying her for propriety, but flashed him dazzling smiles of gratitude upon her horse.

"I'm very grateful, dianxia, for your allowing this indulgence." "Of course," replied Lan Wangji from his saddle. "My Luo-furen should have what she wants." "Dianxia, ce-wangfu." Qin Su approached them and curtsied in proper form. "I wish you all best of luck in the hunt." Then to Mianmian, she said quietly, "Be careful, Qingyang." Jin Ziyan paid the two women no mind, but Lan Wangji saw the hand Qin Su had clandestinely wrapped around one of Mianmian's booted ankles. Oh...well, this is certainly a positive development.

The rest of the noble women not participating in the hunt rested in their tented pavilions, with Meng Yao as their hostess. They drank tea and ate sweets and enjoyed their free time to themselves. Meng Yao noted Wei Wuxian's absence from Jiang Yanli's side, as did several other noble women, but Jiang Yanli only smiled and said, "A-Xian has been living at my father's manor for several years and is an excellent marksman. Dianxia thought it a waste if he were kept from participating."

The truth of the matter is like this: when Wei Wuxian cheated and lied his way into Jiang-fu, he'd told Jiang Fengmian and his family that he'd lived most of his life by the charity of a hunter's family, and so had trained to hunt game in the wild. After the hunter's family died of some infectious illness that plagued the region, Wei Wuxian had supposed made his way into the city and found employment as a shop boy. He couldn't reveal that he'd been trained in martial arts, but there is no need to hide his skill as an archer. At first, it was so he could use archery as a common interest to get close to Jiang Fengmian's son Jiang Cheng, but Wei Wuxian soon realized that it could also be used as a way for Lan Wangji to cultivate further interest.

"Lan Zhan..." Wei Wuxian stroked the snout of Lan Wangji's beloved ferghana horse and grinned. "You really want me to ride him?" "Mn." "You...won't be mad then, if I win?" Wei Wuxian's grin turned slightly wicked. "If I beat you?" Lan Wangji's brow twitched with interest, "Not at all. That's rather what I'm counting on." "Yeah? And why is that?" "Because while I can claim victory with the sword -" "- Very modest, you." Wei Wuxian teased, grinning, which earned him a subtle little glare. "- amongst my cousins, my marksmanship is not unrivalled. You may have a greater chance of winning with him. Huangxiong promised that whoever wins today's hunt will be granted one wish." A wish? Wei Wuxian mulled over this information. His own mission turned and circled in his mind. If I could but gain access to... ... Of course, Wei Wuxian glanced at the prince and the saw the light in his eyes. Lan Wangji is probably thinking of something entirely different.

And so it was inevitable that went the count of the hunt came in, Wei Wuxian's name was at the top. Lan Qiren's little mustache just about flew off his face the way he scrunched it up in displeasure.

Gentries, nobles, dukes and princes watched with envy and shock as a servant came forth to accept the Emperor's reward.

"Jiang-xiong," Nie Huaisang leaned close to Jiang Cheng while they watched from the sidelines as Wei Wuxian bowed before the Emperor. "Why do you look so smug?" Jiang Cheng played with the end of an arrow with an air of mock innocence, "I don't know what you're talking about?" Nie Huaisang pulled at the leather of his riding attire in discomfort - this was so not his style - and tsked, "I know you, Jiang-xiong, you're not subtle. What did you do?" "I was the one who told Lan Wangi that Wei Wuxian is an excellent archer when I went to visit Hanguang-fu." Nie Huaisang understood instantly, "Oh....oh I see..." "What? Don't judge me! You know what they did to him. String up like some unruly animal and whipped. I never agreed with my mother's plan to send him along with my sister anyway. Wei Wuxian may be lowborn but..." Jiang Cheng scowled. "He's too good for them. For Lan Wangji. He's clearly not going to do right by Wei Wuxian. I won't stand to see a perfectly good man wasted as some prissy prince's concubine instead of being where he could put his real skills to use." "Shhhhh, ancestors, Jiang-xiong, keep your voice down! Words like that are a great dishonor against bixia, you'll lose your head!" Jiang Cheng shrugged.

Xue Yang *at a later times*: so lemme get this straight, you won the Hunt, and then Lan Xichen asked you what you want as reward - WWX - as a good little servant I said "I want for nothing that wangye and Jiang-zhuzi hasn't already provided me" - XY *rolls his eyes* Right. And then Jiang Wanyin came out of nowhere and said - "陛下，魏婴乃微臣之家生子，是前管家魏长泽 的独子， 因幼年时父母过世一直遗留市井。上天庇佑，几年前父亲将他巡回。魏婴为人端正淳厚，虽未上过学堂，但头脑机智。陛下也看到了，他弓发出众， 是。。。如能加强训练，以后必会为我姑苏所用 - " Bixia, Wei Ying is this subject's home-born servant, the only son of our previous head of staff Wei Changze. Due to the unfortunate passing of his parents in his youth, he has been getting by doing odd jobs in the capital. Heavens be willing, Father was able to find him after these many years and brought him home. Wei Ying is kind and righteous; though never have been taught by scholars, he is sharp of mind. As bixia has seen, he is a great marksmanship, is ... If he could be granted proper training, he would be a great asset for Gusu in the future. - And what a waste it would be if you were left to twindle away within the confines of a harem. I bet Lan Wangji just loved that. The balls on Jiang Wangyin - I do love his style. WWX You're the only one. Jiang-shushu just about had a heart attack when Jiang Cheng dissed Lan Wangji in public. Madam Yu nearly popped a vein too. XY: Yeah well, he's got a point. You may be Jiang Yanli's companion, but you're not Lan Wangji's concubine, you're just a servant with a skill. Honestly why shouldn't they put you to better use than waiting to maybe spread your legs for a prince who might just as easily toss you aside after the newness fades. WWX *slaps him up the head* Rascal! I'm your shixiong. Don't be so rude. Anyways, Lan Zhan, he - he was willing to let me go. I think he loves me you know - XY: He what now - WWX: He said - Lan Wangji came to kneel beside Wei Wuxian and Jiang Wanyin and bowed to his royal brother, "Huangxiong, Wei Ying is the peijia of my Jiang-furen, a servant of my manor. I... I long knew he is an excellent marksman and should have submitted his candidacy for the ranks but -" Lan Wangji looked at him then, eyes huge with something unreadable. "Jiang-xiao-jiangjun is right. Wei Ying is good, his mind is bright. He would be more suited to militia than...than within the walls of the inner court." "Wangye, have you....have you grown tired of Wei Ying -" "Wei Ying, no -" XY: Oh barf. So please tell me you chose to go to bingbu (ministry of war). WWX: Going to bingbu was never the assignment. If yifu wanted me in the ministry of war, I would've infiltrated them from the start. I refused. And it had the intended effect. "No?" Lan Xichen leaned forward curiously. "Joining the ranks will elevate your rank to that of a subject of the imperial government, and if you are truly as skilled and talented as my brother and Jiang-xiao-jiangjun say, you may rise yet to stand in my court as an officer of the imperial military. You will have your own commission, your own manor, marry, have children - all things which will be forbidden to you if you remain as you are now. As you are male, you cannot provide for Hanguang-fu any offspring, and your low-born status has precluded you from the position of consort or even vice-consort. Have you considered your options carefully? " "I understand bixia, and my decision is made. Nothing would please me more than to stay by wangye's side. I regret nothing." XY: >_> And A this has absolutely nothing to do with the fact you're increasingly horny for Lan Wangji? WWX: Of course not. Because of Lan Qiren, I couldn't advance in Hanguang-fu. But now that Lan Xichen had given me his royal decree, I am Lan Wangji's sanctioned mianshou. XY: *insert eye emoji* So...y'all fucked? WWX *wistful, thinking about the night he spent at the autumn palace after the hunt* : We did, you pervert. Ya happy now? *WWX sighed* But I know who we are and what I must do. Yifu needs me by Lan Wangji's side, for what reasons I do not yet know. No matter how he and I are now... one day it will

all end. XY: *stares into the camera like he's on the office*

Note: yifu = Wen Ruohan, WWX's adoptive father.

[angrelysimpping]

As things my coworkers have said to me or I've said to them

Alex: Chances are I will not remember any of this tomorrow so please don’t hold me accountable. || You should be proud of me, I'm reading a book.

Avery: You don't have to be a mother to be a Mommy || Did that hurt you? If I ever hurt you, let me know.

Bailey: I'm not a whore. I don't sell my body for money. Don't say anything about how I'm a wage slave. || If you give me 35 cents, I'll give you a kiss. || What would you pay me to drink all three of these?

Eden: Please light me on fire if you ever catch me reading Ayn Rand || If I had to improvise a weapon, I would take off one of my socks and fill it with coins.

Great Hawk: Bread would be nice right now. || Mm, yes, trash. Delicious. || I brought you this flower. I found it on the ground.

Kylar: Why don't you respond to my tik toks? || I just want her to step on me once....make it twice

Leighton: I would apologize for the weird shit I said but, uh, I’m not sorry || It's not a fetish. It's titillating, but that's about it.

Remy: I dunno, I think I'm coming around on that cowgirl. I dunno. She kinda cute. || Thighs!

Robin: The creepy guy just came in. Go hide, I'll take him through my line. If I propose to him, do you think he'll get creeped out and never come back? || You know what? I’m going to say it. I’m fucking hot!!! Also I’ve downed a couple beers and half a bottle of wine!

Sydney: What number coffee is this one? || You've shed blood here. That means you're legally allowed to haunt this place when you die. || Our father, who art in heaven, stike this building with lightning. Do it. || God you ingest so much caffeine it’s a miracle you’re still alive.

Whitney: I invinted a new word to describe you: hornycore. || I actually have to be “vulnerable” yucky || What did you think we were going to do, paint each others nails? No! Now show me your BDSM test results, bitch.

Wren: Every time I check him out, I use a diffrent accent. He hasn't said anything. Yet. || Look at my socks, motherfucker!! || None of us are straight enough for this. || Because I love him and he's a banana daiquiri.

[chanelsebbie]

𝗩𝗶𝗰𝗲 | 𝘀.𝗿.

✝ Warnings: SMUT, manipulation, dub-con, innocent!reader, age-gap, dark!bishop!steve rogers, branding. 

✝ Masterlist

✝ Summary: After being caught committing lustful acts, y/n is brought to the bishop for reconcile. 

✝ A/n:  Reader just turned 18, this is sinful, if you are offended, please don’t read. With that being said, after reading this, you best chug a gallon of holy water. 

𝖄𝖔𝖚 𝖓𝖊𝖊𝖉 𝖆 𝖇𝖎𝖌 𝖌𝖔𝖉

𝕭𝖎𝖌 𝖊𝖓𝖔𝖚𝖌𝖍 𝖙𝖔 𝖋𝖎𝖑𝖑 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖚𝖕

Florence + the Machine, Big God

“No! Let me go!” the girl with a small voice ordered futily, the sound echoing off the large corridors as the nuns pulling her along payed no mind. 

She fought against them, but it was useless, for it would only make their conviction worse. She had sinned, and like everything, sinning came with a grave price. Especially at the young woman’s academy. 

She knew the bishop would be cross. Not only for her sin but for the timing. It was in the late hours of the night, but there she was, caught red-handed and in nothing but a snow-white bra and panty set, being dragged through the empty halls of the institution, everyone else sleeping. 

Soon enough, she was faced with the large wooden double-doors of the bishop’s office, the lion knocker on the door seeming to snarl smugly at the girl as if it knew her fate. 

One of the nun’s calloused old fingers wrapped around the handle clutched in the metal feline’s mouth, before knocking three times, the young girl counting absentmindedly. 

A harsh and inharmonious voice called out an ill-toned ‘Come in’. The girl could have sworn she was on the verge of a panic attack. What she had done was wrong, but why did it feel so good?

The door was opened by one of her captors, walking her in before throwing her to the ground, her knees scraping up against the stone floors as she let out a pained yelp. She refused to look up, knowing that his eyes would be trained on her. 

“Archbishop Rogers,” one of the nun’s began, “We caught this young lady committing an act of lust, and demand her to repent and save her faith plagued with desire.”

The man stood up from his working desk, setting his pen down, stepping in front of the trembling girl, almost anticipating her to look up at him. 

“Leave us, sisters,” 

His voice sent a tight shock through her spine, making her scramble to her knees, her ass resting on her heels, folding her hands in front of her, waiting as if she were about to be struck. 

As soon as the great wooden doors closed, the bishop took a deep breath and began to speak. 

“Tell me,” he starts, “what is your vice?”

She quivered at the question, embarrassed to admit what she had truly did wrong. But in knowing that the longer it took to get it out of her, the more torturous the punishment would be.

“I-” she cleared her throat, “I h-have committed a lustful act,” she swallowed hard as she heard the man above her sigh, beckoning her to continue, “I feel as if I’ve been consumed by demons. The devil has put thoughts into my head... scandalous thoughts... and it creates such a tension between my legs,” she took in a shaky breath, “I can’t help but touch myself to relieve the pain.”

His jaw clenched at her confession, crossing his arms. 

“Do you understand the gravity of your actions?” he catechized her, making her nod her head ‘yes’.

“Yes, Archbishop Rogers, I do.” she now had the courage to look up at the man above her, “I am willing to do whatever it takes to be right by the Lord’s name,”

His crossed arms unraveled, one of his hands going down to cradle the girl’s cheek as she leaned into his touch like an obedient dog, desperate for the relief and to bear no malice to her God. 

When she looked up at him with her doe-like eyes, full of hope, there was a glint of guilt. 

“First, recite ‘Hail Mary’,” he commanded, her head now hanging low again, not noticing that his hands were now reaching his pants, the leather of his belt coming undone. 

“Hail Mary, full of grace,” she began, “The lord is with thee-”

Her face was suddenly jerked up, his hand wrapping around her head before pushing her forward, her open mouth suddenly filled with the mass of his cock, only half of her mouth consuming it. 

Her tongue squirmed as she tried to pull away, but the archbishop’s strength was unparalleled to hers, her struggles futile. Her hands went to his thighs to anchor herself. 

“A demon had infiltrated your mind, my child,” he grunted, “I know how to rid you of this evil, but you must do as I say.”

She did the best she could to nod her head, before getting pulled back by her hair. 

“Did I tell you to stop reciting?” he growled, “Don’t make me start you over,”

“Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit-” she was pulled forward violently back on his cock, deeper his time, his tip touching the back of her throat as she gagged, tears welling up in her eyes, doing her best not to bite down. 

She was pulled back once again, “of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary-”

Tears were now spilling down her face like a river, her face flushed as his cock seemingly went down her throat, the groans of her superior above her making her whimper. 

“Mother of God, pray for us sinners now,”

He didn’t pull her in this time like she was expecting, “and at the hour of our death.” she finished, panting as she winced at the archbishop’s killer grip on her hair, “Amen.”

“Remarkable job,” he praised, before standing her up, taking her hand and leading her to his desk, before harshly pushing her down against it, smirking at her gasping reaction. 

“P-Please? Haven’t we done enough?” she questioned, pleaded, earning her a slap on her ass, getting pulled up chest to back with him as his lips reached her ear. 

“I am a vessel of God,” he hissed, “And he lives through me as I do him. I’m cleansing you...,”

His fingers made their way under the hem of her underwear, pulling them down, her dripping cunt coming into view, the archbishop squatting down after pushing her back on the desk. She whimpered at the feeling of his breath against her sex, Rogers letting out a dark chuckle before leaning forward, licking a torturous strip across her slit. 

“God, you taste so good,” he groaned against her pussy, “why the fuck do you taste so good?” his rhetorical question made her clench. 

She let out a soft moan at the sexual touch that was for once, not her own. He did this several more times before he stood straight back up again. 

She whined when she felt his wide tip tease her entrance, circling his cock, the anticipation almost painful, his breathing echoing off the expanse of his large office. The moonlight shown through the stained glass windows, reflecting on the expanse of her back, making the archbishop all the more attracted to her seemingly supernatural glow. 

“Plea-” she was cut off by a loud moan ripping its way through her throat, the feeling of being stretched out so far painful.

“Fuck! Fuck, you’re so tight-” he cursed into the open air, his hands latching onto her hips when he bottomed out. 

He didn’t grace her with the opportunity to adjust, before he started to move, slowly, making her feel every ridge and vein. 

“You better start praying,” he coaxed, her head nodding.

“O-Our father, who art in h-heaven, gl-glory be thy name,” she whined out, making the man behind her rut his hips harder and harder with each verse, “hallowed be th-thy name. Thy kingdom c-come,” she paused to catch her breath, earning her a harsh tug on her scalp.

“Didn’t tell you to stop,” he growled, bushing harder and faster inside her. 

“thy will be done, on earth, as it is in h-heaven, g-give us this day our da-ily bread and... and...,” her brain was fogged with pleasure as he was getting pounded into, Rogers annoyed at her reluctance. 

“Don’t tell me you forgot,” he degraded, “don’t make me start you over,” his pace slowing down. 

She whined before starting again, “forgive us our tr-trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against u-us-”

She clenched around him, making him let out a genuine moan, and it was the most angelic sound she had ever heard, a coil tightening inside her as she cursed silently. 

“Come on, princess, we can finish it together,” he offered. 

“P-Please,” she gasped, gagging on air as she did her best to keep a level head and know what she was supposed to say next. 

“And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.” they said in perfect sync. 

“Come on, so close, just-” before he could finish, he released inside of her with a yell, his head thrown back in ecstasy.

The warm feeling in her gut made the coil inside her snap as well as she fell off the deep end, long and passionate moans leaving her lips as she trembled and tensed from such an earth-shattering orgasm. 

The archbishop walked in front of the lit fireplace, poking at it with a fire poker before setting it down, the pointy end positioned over the fire. 

The girl thought nothing of it as she sat in an armchair, covered in nothing but a blanket as she gave a dopey smile to the nude man approaching her. He picked her up, before sitting himself down, placing her in his lap. 

Her head rested against his chest as he gently played with her hair. 

“Am I cleansed?” she questioned, nudging herself closer into him. 

After a small amount of time, he gave a quick, lack-luster response. 

“Yes.”

“What happens if the demons come back? If my thoughts turn sinful again?” she whimpered at the thought. 

“Well, I have a way I can make sure they don’t.” he smirked to himself, “Stand up, will you?”

She did as she was told; his perfect little obedient pet. Before she could question anything, she was grabbed by the wrists and slammed up above her head, her back against the wall next to the fire place, Steve reaching over and grabbing the bow heated fire poker.

It clicked for her as her eyes widened.

“W-Wait!” she squeaked, looking at the red-hot end of the fire poker, his fingers wrapped around it tightly. 

When the scalding metal touched the skin of her breast, she let out a pained cry, a sickening sizzle ringing through her ears as she sobbed. The burning touch seemed to last for ages, before it was finally brought away, but the pain never ceased. 

The shape made her stomach turn, the man pulling the girl in an embrace as she sobbed, shushing her.

There, over her right breast, was the mark of the lord. A blistering cross, that would be an eternal reminder of their shared moment together.

“In the name of the father, the son, and the holy spirit,” Steve spoke, right before her world went black from shock.

[bruhstories]

Vogel und Jäger

Summary: You accidentally witness a murder, but the murderer takes pity on you. Pairing: Zeke Jaeger x Fem!Reader (mafia AU) Warnings & Content: murder, language, angst Word Count: 1.7 k

A/N: i've been dying for a mafia au with zeke so here's part one of the series Vogel und Jäger. i have two more chapters drafted, and i'll try to post for this series weekly so i can write some moooore for it.

Bang!

The blood-curling sound was familiar to your ears. A gunshot — followed by the gurgling of a man.

Bang!

Another shot and the gurgling stopped. Panic settled in your heart, making you jump back and knock the metallic bin which served as a shield against the perpetrators.

Shit.

Footsteps drew closer and you began to pray. Running was futile. Running was always futile. Your throat was dry, your mascara was smeared all over your cheeks from all the tears, lips chapped and bleeding.

Our Father, who art in Heaven...

The cold muzzle of the gun pressed onto your forehead and you shivered, breath hitching, eyes glued to the wet pavement.

Hollowed be thy name...

The Mafia never spared any witnesses, you knew that all too well, even if you happened to be in the wrong place, at the wrong time.

Thy Kingdom come...

"Hey, boss, we got a girl."

"Kill her."

"No, please!" You threw yourself at the feet and mercy of the armed man. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry! Please, I'm only nineteen!" Through the sobs, your voice was still melodious, syrupy. So sweet that the boss stopped in his tracks.

Thy will be done...

Another pair of footsteps approached, tentatively, not as eager as the first person. You still haven't looked up, too scared to even blink, to even breathe.

On earth, as it is in Heaven...

"Hand me the gun, Yelena."

"As you wish, boss."

You felt someone crouch down next to you, someone dressed in expensive clothing, by the look of the trousers and polished shoes.

Give us this day our daily bread...

"You've got a very pretty voice." He lifted your chin up with the barrel of the gun, chills running down your spine.

"T-thank y-you..."

"Can you sing, little bird?"

"Y-yes."

And forgive us our trespasses...

Finally, you looked at the perpetrator — spellbinding grey eyes, platinum blonde hair slicked back and a matching goatee. His gaze was either boring or pitiful.

"Lucky you, we're hiring."

As we forgive those who trespass against us...

Anxiety coiled in your stomach, words caught up in your throat. You were still praying, unaware if this was all a sadistic joke or a miracle.

And lead us not into temptation...

Dark lashes fluttered, more tears streaming down your beautiful face as the gears in your head turned in a desperate attempt to understand what was happening.

But deliver us from evil...

"Hiring?" Your voice went up an octave when you saw the small stag pinned to the man's chest. The Jaeger family — the most feared mafia family in Paradis City.

For thine is the kingdom...

"A pretty voice like yours shouldn't go to waste." He got up and offered you his hand.

And the power, and the glory...

Reluctantly, you took it, helping yourself up and chewing your lower lip.

For ever and ever...

"T-thank you!" You told him, slender fingers squeezing his hand tightly. "I owe you m-my life."

Amen.

"Correct. Your life, your soul, your eyes and ears." He walked you to a car and opened the door for you. "Yelena, take us to the club. We've got business to discuss with my little brother."

•°.•°.•°.•°

Your eyes wandered all over the soundproof office, situated one floor above and opposite the stage. Every inch of the bar, the seating areas, everything was visible from that room. You tapped a finger on the wide window, eyes narrowed at the idea that it might, in fact, be bulletproof. These men were not playing, and you were now their property. The door opened and you jolted at the sound of music filling the office as your saviour walked in with two other people.

"This is my younger brother, Eren. You already know Yelena. I assume you know my name."

You nodded.

"Zeke Jaeger."

"Good girl." Zeke was pleased with your answer as he poured himself a glass of bourbon.

"I thought we didn't spare any witnesses." Eren shot you a look that made you regret being alive.

"Settle down, little brother. Tell us your name."

"Y/N, sir. Y/N Y/L/N." You swallowed, fingers fiddling with the hem of your blouse in an attempt to calm your nerves.

"You see, Eren, Y/N can sing." Zeke opened a drawer and pulled a gun out. More guns, more panic. Your eyes widened and your plump lips quivered when he aimed the gun at you with one hand, glass of alcohol in the other. "Sing or I paint the walls with your brains."

Your legs almost gave in at the threat — you knew it wasn't an empty one, and with all the courage you could muster, you closed your eyes and sang the first song that came to your mind, fucking Kiss from a Rose.

Your voice seemed to coat the people with honey, all three of them somewhat relaxing at the sweet sounds coming from your vocal cords.

"See, I told you she can sing." Zeke put the gun back in the drawer and closed it, swirling the bourbon in his glass before finishing it.

"Where do you live?" Eren crossed his arms, still suspicious of you.

"Historia's." You told him, eyes drifting to the ugly fur rug on the floor.

"The orphanage?"

"Yes."

"But you said you're nineteen." Zeke intervened, a brow quirked at you.

"I am. I try to help as much as possible in exchange for a bed and a roof over my head." You explained, eyeing the white couch that looked so incredibly comfortable.

"Just sit down already." Eren scoffed and you rushed to the furniture, mumbling thank you’s over and over.

"And why were you on that street tonight?" Yelena spoke for the first time since you came to the club. You looked at her and she seemed just as suspicious about you as Eren.

"I... the man you k-killed... he was... I'm-"

"A prostitute." Zeke nonchalantly interrupted you.

It was true. People like you, orphans, didn't have the privilege of being properly educated and finding well-paid jobs. Paradis was a jungle, and you did everything you could to survive. Everything.

"Well on the bright side you don't have to do that anymore." Zeke shrugged as he sunk deeper in his chair, feet on the desk, but you sensed he wasn't entirely honest. "You do have a beautiful voice, and our last girl had some... business to attend to, so you'll be taking her place."

"Is this why you called me here?" Eren sighed, leg impatiently shaking.

"Don't be stupid, of course not. I need Armin to prepare this month's tax reports and I need you to keep an eye on the police. They're sticking their nose in our business again, and I want them out of it. You two can go. Y/N, you stay." Zeke waved his hand and Eren and Yelena left, music briefly filling the office again.

You twiddled with the cushion in your lap, waiting for your new boss to say something. Being in that room was nerve-wracking, and you felt the air grow thick. Eventually Zeke took off his glasses, fingers rubbing the bridge of his nose as he sighed.

"Sir?" You dared, voice feeble and frail.

"What?" He clicked his tongue and you instantly regretted speaking.

"Sir, I'm not educated, but I've been on the streets long enough to know that every man or woman has a purpose..." You placed the cushion back. "...and a price. What's my purpose? I doubt it's only to sing."

Zeke nodded, fingers tracing the wooden desk.

"You're right, it isn't just to sing. It's to distract."

"Distract who? And from what?"

"You're asking an awful lot of questions for someone who's just witnessed a murder. You best not go to the police." He narrowed his eyes, piercing your soul. You sighed and walked to the desk, taking a seat opposite Zeke.

"It's not... my first murder." You confessed to him.

"Oh? My dear, you're full of surprises. Pray, tell. Drink?"

"Yes please." You answered, throat dry as a desert. "I can't go to the police. And even if I could, I wouldn't." The drink earned a disgusted look from you, but it was better than nothing. "Two years ago, I ended someone's life. He deserved it, he broke into Miss Historia's orphanage and tried to... to..."

"I understand." Zeke stopped you. "And if you go to the police, they'd do a background check on you." He continued, satisfied that he had a leverage in case you decided to turn against him.

"Exactly. And Historia helped me so much, I wouldn't want to put her in danger. So, I'm asking again, distract who from what?"

Zeke walked to the window, telling you to follow him. He pointed at two men, a tall blond one, and a short brunette one.

"See those two? They're policemen. They work for us, but we suspect they're double agents." He explained before pointing at three other men. "Those we suspect of being Marleyan mobsters. You see, Y/N, we have a lot of enemies. And we must keep our guard up every second of our lives."

You nodded, perfectly understanding Zeke's words. Paradis was a chess board and only the filthy rich played — the rest of you were pawns.

"Sir, you spared my life, and I know I can't ask for anything in return. But please, please don't drag Miss Historia into this. The children there did nothing wrong." Tears pooled at your eyes, rolling down your cheeks and you wiped them with the back of your hand. "I swear my loyalty to you."

"For someone uneducated, you're extremely clever." Zeke's voice was serious. You half-smiled at the compliment, but you knew the mess you got yourself into cut your lifespan severely. "Can you shoot?"

"No, sir."

"It's alright, Mikasa will teach you. Sleep on the couch tonight, I'll have Yelena bring you a blanket. Tomorrow you'll swear an oath in front of the family. And if you want to protect Historia, you'll move out of the orphanage."

You nodded. You understood that mingling with the mafia endangered everyone you loved, but you couldn't stop yourself from crying the entire night. Historia was but a few months older than you, yet she gladly took you in when she invested in that orphanage. Now you had to leave everything behind for her safety — and yours.

[kurisus]

Chapter 95 thoughts

Slightly belated because I had to read through volumes 23 and 24 to fully complete my reread. But now I’m done, so spoilers under the cut!

Me and pretty much everyone else has noticed something really strange is going on with Amaterasu’s shinki. The panel with them behind her looked like they were watching her every move, and it lines up with our previous speculations on her.

Her first appearance was just her by her lonesome, and she helped Yato. The second and third time she appeared (during the covenant and again when she interrogated Yato) she had her shinki by her side, and was very much not acting like an ally.

That said, she still accepted a nameless god’s word that the true sorcerer still exists and that he will kill him himself. Once Ebisu was killed, pretty much every other god we’ve seen believed the sorcerer was gone for good, and Yato’s attempts to right this during the uprising against heaven didn’t do any good.

So I’m willing to believe Amaterasu still wants to help Yato, but can’t because of her shinki.

After all--and this has been speculated for a long time--is she a recent reincarnation? Or does she just permanently look like a child? Are her shinki manipulating her, just as so many other children have been manipulated in this series?

I want to believe Amaterasu is on Yato’s side through all of this, and is only being forced to uphold the “heaven is always right” mantra that’s being fed to her. After all, heaven can’t make mistakes, so if she makes mistakes it reflects badly on them all.

Also, this was established after the covenant, but the sacred treasures can reincarnate similarly to gods, except they don’t get young and they (presumably) don’t lose their memories. So even if Amaterasu gets killed over and over, they can be like Iwami and provide information to her to keep her on the right path.

I wish I could find the meta I was thinking about earlier that speculated at length on Amaterasu’s intentions back when chapters 70/71/72 were the most recent, but I can’t remember who wrote it. I want to say @blessedyuki? Anyway, my point being that Amaterasu being ambiguous and possibly controlled is not news. It stretches back to the covenant, when we finally found out the identity of the girl that helped Yato.

And it’s crucial, imo, that her first appearance was helping him quietly, because it gives me hope that may happen again.

Another thing I noticed during my reread that I kinda forgot about is that she has the power to call any shinki’s name. So she could use it to call Yukine and get him out of trouble, but would she be able to do such a thing when he’s the weapon of the enemy they’re trying to hunt? How far do her loyalties to Yato go?

Also, who was monologuing about wanting to live in peace? Was that Amaterasu, Hiyori, or someone else?

All that aside, I’m really excited to see what will happen with Ebisu and Take on their hunt for Father. I don’t think either of them will die since they’ve both reincarnated relatively recently (something Take only just mentioned to Ebisu, who didn’t know), but I wonder if they’ll encounter danger and have to retreat and come back with reinforcements. But if they can only enter the island at dawn, they’re running out of time.

If this island exists on the near shore but in a blind spot, was it always that way? Is that why Father has been meddling in supernatural affairs for so long, or did he make it that way once he gained godly powers? Are we going to get a backstory soon? (Please)

Prepare for the art to look cool as fuck, either way. I think 96 will finally, finally kick off Amaterasu’s attack and hopefully shed some light on her intentions. Here’s also hoping we find out what was in the letter soon!

[nothingbutimagines]

Frenemies (Peter Parker)

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Warning: Cursing 

Summary: Peter and Y/n are friends...kinda. Peter thinks they’re friends, even though Y/n picks on him and they’re constantly bickering or competing for the top spot in their classes. Peter thinks they’re friends while Y/n sees them more as frenemies, but the two are confronted with their feelings towards one another when they get roped into playing Romeo and Juliet in the school play. 

Author: Dizzy

A/N: Just a little something I whipped up while procrastinating on my finals. Senior year is too hard, ugh. Just a heads up, starting Dec 13th, tomorrow, I will be starting 12 Days of Ficmas with another Peter fic, so keep your eyes peeled!

Masterlist Request Any Of These Peter Parker/Tom Holland Masterlist

__________________

“Any volunteers to act out the next scene?” Your Drama teacher, Ms. Newman, asked the class, a bright smile on her face as hands flew into the air. “Everyone has to read at least once, since we’re using this class to decide on who will be Romeo and who will be Juliet.”

You rolled your eyes, resting your chin in your hand as you watched other students wave their hands around wildly. 

Of course everyone wanted to act out the next scene, one of the most romantic scenes of the play, you thought to yourself. While everyone either loved or hated Romeo and Juliet, you found yourself indifferent to it all. You liked the play just fine, but you wouldn’t say you loved it nor would you say you hated it. It was all just okay in your mind and you sure as hell didn’t want to be Juliet, or be in the play at all. 

Unlike everyone who had their hands up, waving them like mad, you didn’t quite care for romance if you were going to be honest. Perhaps it was that you’d never connected with someone in such a way that caused you to like it or you just hadn’t found the perfect Nicholas Sparks movie to cry to, but you hated romance, almost dreading it. 

“Y/n?” 

You looked up to see an extended finger pointing right at her and a smile on Ms. Newman’s face. 

“Come on up, dear. You can read for Juliet and Peter here can read for Romeo.” She waved you up onto the stage, directing you onto a higher platform to read. 

“I don’t know if I can do this.” Peter mumbled from beneath you.

You bent down to his level, a hand on his shoulder as you gazed into his eyes. 

“You can do this. And you know you can trust me. Because I don’t care enough about you to lie.” 

Peter rolled his eyes as you straightened back up. 

“Gee, thanks. I totally feel better now.”

“You’re welcome. I’m a very helpful person.” You chuckled, turning your attention back to Ms. Newman.

“Alright, Peter, you are Romeo, talking about Juliet and unbeknownst to you, she is right up there on the balcony, speaking about you. Y/n, stand up straight and give us your best performance, don’t look so down. Now, ready, set, action!”

You looked over at Peter, who gave you a small smile before breaking eye contact to look down at his script, his brown hair falling in his face before looking back up at you again.

You could barely act as it is, and looking at the brown haired boy looking at you, you sure as hell couldn’t act like you were in love with Peter Parker, the kid you couldn’t help but tease and pick on even though you were kind of friends and kind of enemies with. 

“But soft! What light through yonder window breaks?

It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.

Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon,

Who is already sick and pale with grief,

That thou, her maid, art far more fair than she.

Be not her maid since she is envious.

Her vestal livery is but sick and green,

And none but fools do wear it. Cast it off!

It is my lady. Oh, it is my love.

Oh, that she knew she were!” Peter spoke, acting as if his life depended on it, his eyes gazing into yours.

You bit your lip, unsure of what the sudden warmth in your chest and cheeks was from as you watched him gesture to you, speaking boldly like the character he was pretending to be. 

You looked away, breaking the eye contact for a moment to look into the small group of students in the class, your breathing slow as the warmth dissipated and you brought a hand to your cheek. 

“... Her eye in heaven

Would through the airy region stream so bright

That birds would sing and think it were not night.

See how she leans her cheek upon her hand.

Oh, that I were a glove upon that hand

That I might touch that cheek!”

You brought your hand from your cheek to your heart. “Ay, me!” 

Peter glanced up at you once more, before turning to the group. 

“She speaks.

O, speak again, bright angel! For thou art

As glorious to this night, being o'er my head,

As is a wingèd messenger of heaven

Unto the white, upturnèd, wondering eyes

Of mortals that fall back to gaze on him

When he bestrides the lazy-puffing clouds

And sails upon the bosom of the air.” 

You couldn’t help but chuckle at the boy standing not that far below you, the way he gave you a funny look as he turned back to you and the way he so seriously taking his part. You couldn’t help but wonder what was going on in his mind, what had him acting his little heart out. 

“O Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo?

Deny thy father and refuse thy name.

Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love,

And I’ll no longer be a Capulet.” You cried out, mustering up as much passion as you could, realizing halfway through your lines you had more than you thought. 

“Cut, cut!” Ms. Newman cried out, waving her arms at you. “I think we’ve heard enough from you two, let’s let someone else have a chance at this scene. Rebecca, Trevor, why don’t you two go next?”

You hopped down from the platform you had been standing on and followed Peter off of the small stage, taking a seat beside him. 

“Good job.” He nodded to you, a shy smile on his lips. 

“Oh, uh, thanks. You weren’t so bad either.”

“Not so bad? You think I’m a shitty actor, Y/n?” Peter teased, giving you a slight nudge.

“I didn’t say that,” you rolled your eyes, “I just didn’t realize you had such passion and gusto. it was very impressive.”

“Yeah, well that was all me since your pep talk wasn’t much help.” 

“I’d like to think it was pretty good. Very honest. Honesty is what makes pep talks great.”

“Isn’t the point of a pep talk to lie to a person so they can do something they think they can’t?”

You rolled your eyes and smiled. “Well, duh, but you could do it so I didn’t have to lie. It was a kinda anti-pep talk.”

“You’re kinda anti-everything aren’t you?”

“I like to think of myself less as ‘anti-everything’ and more of a rebel outcast.”

“You’re the co-captain of the cheer squad.” Peter replied very matter-of-factly as you fell silent, leaving him without a response. “You hear that?”

“Oh, I hear you.” You replied, crossing your arms over your chest, “I wish I didn’t.”

Peter opened his mouth to speak, but shut it as Ms. Newman began talking.

“Alright, class! We are at the end of time, so I will announce who I have picked as our leading man and lady. Can I get a drum roll, please?”

The class erupted in hands rapping and drumming on tables and legs as you crossed your fingers, eyes shut. 

“Please, don’t let it be me. Please, don’t let it be me.” You mumbled to yourself as the noise began to dial down.

“Romeo will be played by Peter Parker-”

“Yes!” Peter gasped, punching the air beside you. 

“-and Juliet will be played by Y/n L/n.”

“Fuck!” You hissed softly, groaning as you put a hand to your face. 

“Thank you all for your time today, the rest of the roles ad castings will be on the board if you’d like to look at them, otherwise, have a great lunch! We will be leaving the theater open for you to go over your lines and learn them together.”

You gripped your bag as you stood up, slinging one strap over your shoulder as you made your way out of the classroom, Peter trailing close behind.

“Holy shit, Y/n! Can you believe it? We got the lead roles!” 

“Oh, goody!” You gasped, mocking his happy demeanor as he made it beside you. 

“You know, you’d be a better actress if you could at least act excited about this.” 

"Ugh, sometimes I can’t stand you.”

“Speak for yourself.”

Peter chuckled as you gave him a playful push, pushing you back while you both entered the cafeteria. 

You couldn’t stand him sometimes, but there were moments, mostly when you thought he had a sense of humor and you could laugh together, that you thought Peter Parker wasn’t so bad. Sure, he was a know-it-all and a goody two shoes, but he wasn’t that bad once you got to know him, even if he was annoying at times. 

Peter handed you a lunch tray as you both scurried into the lunch line, knocking your trays together as you picked out your lunches. 

“Do you ever wonder how we’re friends?” Peter asked after moments of silence.

It was as if he read your mind. You handed the lunch lady the change for your lunch and guided Peter to your usual table with Ned and MJ. 

You shrugged. “Nah, I don’t really like to question myself on the things I do. Act, don’t think. It’s better that way.” 

You took a seat beside MJ on one side of the table as Peter took a seat besides Ned. 

“Are you okay?” MJ asked, looking over at you with a concerned look on her face. 

“Why? Did that pimple I popped this morning not go away?”

MJ shook her head. “No, not that. You look flushed.”

“Y/n and I just found out we’re gonna be Romeo and Juliet for the spring play.” Peter stated simply, taking a bit out of his pizza. 

MJ burst out laughing, clutching her stomach. 

“Oh, my god, that’s a great joke, Parker. A fucking riot.” 

“I’m, uh, I’m not kidding.” 

“No, you’ve got to be joking, Y/n would never agree to that.” 

“Uh, actually...” You cut in. 

“Holy shit, you’re not kidding.” MJ’s smile fell slightly as she looked at you, grabbing you by the arm and pulling you out of your chair.  “Y/n, I have to go to the bathroom, come with me.”

“Oh, okay.” You agreed awkwardly, allowing her to begin dragging you from the table.

“That was weird.” Peter stated as you followed MJ out of the cafeteria. 

“Agreed.” Ned muttered, watching MJ and you interact from the doorway. 

“Why the hell would you agree to being in the spring play?” MJ questioned, her arms crossed over her chest as she glanced back into the open doorway of the cafeteria. 

You groaned. “Ugh, I-I really don’t know! I panicked! Newman announced it and I just accepted my fate.”

“Did you accept your fate or play along with the fact that you get to be up close and personal with Peter?” 

“Don’t you dare insinuate the fact that I-”

“That you what? Have feelings for Peter?” MJ asked, giving you a smirk as you felt the same warmth in your cheeks as you had in class. “You act like I don’t know you, that we haven’t been friends since first grade. I know when you like a boy.”

“I don’t like Peter. He annoys me to death. Quite frankly, he sucks.” 

“Tell that to the blush on your face.” 

“You bitch.” 

MJ shrugged. “I don’t know why you’re mad at me for telling the truth.” 

You tore your gaze away from her and looked into the doorway to the cafeteria, your attention now on Peter and Ned as you could see them talking to one another before Peter looked away and over at you, your eyes making contact. You quickly looked away, turning your attention back at MJ. 

“What do you think I should do?”

__________________

You walked down the hallway towards the theater, slipping past students as you made your way through the crowd, gripping your backpack tightly. You ran through the little plan MJ and you had concocted, repeating affirmations to yourself as you approached the door.

After admitting that you didn’t hate Peter as much as you led on, MJ walked you through the plan she had been secretly putting together the moment she had figured out you had feelings for Peter. 

The plan, as MJ illustrated, was simple. You told Peter how you felt. 

You went through about one hundred different ways to tell Peter how you felt, each one making you sick to your stomach with anxiety. 

As you entered the theater, you could feel that anxiety bubble up with every step and every thought as you got closer and closer to where Peter had decided to set himself up on the stage. 

“Hey.” Peter greeted, looking up from his script as you set your bag down on the ground beside his. “So, I’ve been going over the script since study hall and I think we should just start with the scenes that we’re in together and then on our own, go over our separate scenes.” 

“Uh,” You cleared your throat, “yeah, yeah. That sounds like a good idea.” 

Peter raised a brow at you. “You okay? Normally you try to fight me when I tell you what to do.”

“Yeah, I’m fine, just stressed since I have cheer practice after this.” You lied. 

“It’s Wednesday, you never have cheer practice on Wednesdays.” 

“Maybe I do, how would you know? Do you stalk me or something, Parker?” You snapped. 

“No, God, never mind.” Peter cleared his throat. “No need to yell. Let’s just go over act one, scene five.”

You nodded, letting out a relieved sigh as silence fell between the two of you as you looked for your lines in the scene. You could feel your chest grow warm as you held your breath, awaiting Peter’s next instruction, pretending to read your script as your mind wandered. 

You couldn’t stop thinking about how wrong MJ was about Peter. It was clear he didn’t like you in any way other than a friend. And why would he? You bullied him constantly and bickered over trivial things with him. Hell, you’d even once gave him all the wrong answers on a test when you’d realized he was copying you and then went back to fix your own, making him get a 40% while you had gotten a 90%. 

“Y/n, did you hear me?” Peter’s hand on your arm forced you out of your own head. 

You shrugged his arm off and nodded. 

“Alright. I’m ready when you are.” 

“I’m ready. Go on.”

Peter reached out towards you, taking your hand in his before you pulled away quickly.

“What are you doing?” You snapped, holding your hand away from him.

“I was acting, you know, as the script tells me to.”

“You don’t have to touch me.”

“It literally says that I have to take your hand.” Peter argued, reaching out for you again. “Just give me your hand, okay?”

You held your hand out for him to take with a confused look on your face before he took your hand, a shy smile on his face as he pulled you closer too him. 

You stumbled over your own feet as he pulled you closer, tripping and falling into him.

“Shit, I’m sorry!” You gasped, looking up at him, his hands still firm on your hips. 

“It’s, it’s fine.” Peter replied, gazing down at you.

“You can, uh, let go of me now.” 

“Oh, right! Right.”

Peter let go of you as you stood up straight, fixing your hair as you looked at him. 

“Maybe we should go over lines now?” Peter asked awkwardly, hand on the back of his neck. 

“I have a confession to make.” You blurted out, immediately regretting saying it. 

“What is it?”

“Peter, I just need to tell you this. I think I like you, and I know you don’t feel the same--.” 

“Y/n, I really like you too.” 

You fell silent, staring at him blankly before responding, “I don’t know what to do with that information.”

“Oh, shut up and let us have our moment.” Peter chuckled, grabbing your hand and pulling you towards him again before kissing you softly.

[infinitelytheheartexpands]

Responses from the Opera Screencaps Captioning Quiz

Hello, everyone, and thank you for taking my quiz! I had SO MUCH fun reading your captions-- there were several times I literally started crying from laughing so hard at the amazingness of your work! With that in mind, the captions (which I will continue to add onto as more people take it):

(also, thank you to @dichterfuerstin​ for translating the German captions I got)

originally taken from: the Wiener Staatsoper’s 2020 production of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart’s Die Entführung aus dem Serail, featuring Regula Mühlemann (center) as Blonde, Michael Laurenz (right) as Pedrillo, and an unnamed extra (left) as the Grim Reaper

Responses:

(Backstage warm-up) “ok so someone dropped the pulse”

me and my friends watching the fire burn after doing arson

Introducing the polycule to the parents

*boom* ... did...you guys hear that too?

Ma Signor !

Knight in whinging armour gone wrong, look at how he holds the egg. Polyamory with weird knight and death.

the father, son and the holy ghost are very gay

the gays meeting for brunch, 2021, colorized

chicken lady forces death and a very flamboyantly homosexual anthropomorphized pink bird to be parents of her egg (they dont want to be)

That’s just me and my friends on our night out (before covid rip)-- closest

A Good Friday night

good omens (2019)

["the pocket guide to boy/girl/mischief" meme] who's the boy and who's the mischief though????

Papageno and Papagena take their first-born egg trick-or-treating

Angry Birds - The Musical. A pig stole an egg and the bird unites with death to take revenge.

I love my bird wife

Someone got murdered during the funky chicken dance

throuple murders child and steals sibling of said child

When you and your friends have widely different tastes in literature

angel leading twink to his rightful place (hell)

draco malfoy from a very potter musical and a death eater are very much in the wrong show

What have I gotten myself into

Mlm/wlw solidarity but I’m not telling who is who

A woman stands with a pink dipshit with an egg and a reaper.

A bird-couple makes a pact with Death, sacrificing their first-born bird-child in order to bring good luck upon their unborn bird-baby

There are three types of people on Halloween:

Uh oh, I don’t think the mother hen is very happy about this...

oh god, they’ve invented seussical. It’s too early!

gay brunch

Three little maids from school are we

guys maybe if we dress gay enough we can distract everyone from the dead flapper bee in the back

those three killed a duck for her egg and are facing the conswquences.

Duck has egg with human, shocked and upset due to biological impossibility

When you bout to make a banging omelet so you invite your fellow queers

"No mortal man could pass that egg, but heaven shall repair your rectum."

originally taken from: the Salzburg Festival’s 2007 production of Hector Berlioz’s Benvenuto Cellini, featuring Maija Kovalevska (left) as Teresa Balducci, Laurent Naouri (center, in chimney) as Fieramosca, and Burkhard Fritz (right) as Benvenuto Cellini

Responses:

“In this same interlude it doth befall That I, one Snout by name, present a wall; And such a wall, as I would have you think, That had in it a crannied hole or chink, Through which the lovers, Pyramus and Thisby, Did whisper often very secretly. This loam, this rough-cast and this stone doth show That I am that same wall; the truth is so: And this the cranny is, right and sinister, Through which the fearful lovers are to whisper.” - a midsummer night’s dream, act v scene 1

"ah yes a prime specimen. see here, right in this box is our one of a kind hob goblin that can be all yours for the low low price of your soul"

what, YOU don't have a special eavesdropping chimney window?

Hänsel und Gretel plotting against the witch

man takes a wrong turn and ends up in a chimney, catches his girlfriend cheating-- closest

when you end up third wheeling the straight couple

lady cheats on her leather jacket wearing scummy boyfriend and when he unexpectedly comes home she hides the lover in the chimney

A straight girl and her gay best friend gossip about stuff idk

Idk Shakespeare?

experimental couples therapy feat. the chimney mf from mary poppins

Area Couple Inadvertently Traps Santa-in-Training in Chimney as they Attempt Rooftop Flirting

Landlords laugh over student renter's misfortune

I never asked for this

Ay yo lil mama lemme whisper in your ear

voyeurist listens to sandy and Danny from grease

Psssst! Did you hear about Susan? You won’t believe it!

lady and the tramp meets beauty and the beast?

human trafficking

And for just $30 you too could have your own tiny brick cage!

Psst I’m wearing assless chaps under this dress

A couple tortures a man in a box.

It's all fun and games being stuck in a chimney until your greasy uncle steals your crush from right above you-- okay ngl this could actually be a great Don Pasquale concept

Taking eavesdropping to the next level

Will you two stop being lovey dovey and let me out? SUMMER LOVIN, HAPPENED SO FAST— 

overhearing how people talk about you when they think they're alone puts you in the shithouse 

Does he know we can see him?

dear god, i am so fucking hungry, yall please just do whatever heterosexuals do so i can go eat a popsicle 

the human version of the trash man from sesame street is realizing that those two are going to fuck on his trash can 

Tmw you capture an angry short dude and start trashtalking him where he can hear 

Omg what if we kissed but we actually kissed the lil goblin man under us

"Remember, don't feed him after midnight"

originally taken from: the Théâtre de Capitole du Toulouse’s 2017 staging of Giacomo Meyerbeer’s Le prophète, featuring Leonardo Estevez (right, on fake horse) as Le Comte d’Oberthal

Responses:

“When I said we needed to drain the swamp I didn’t think there were people actually living there”

horse? what horse? no sir i dont know what horse youre referring to.

definitely don't have a napoleon complex going on

King stole La Scala‘s Lohengrin set

king breaks all his horses, has to use statue dragged by servants as transportation because he’s too kingly too walk

Emperor Söder and his subjects on a carnival procession

man on horse makes a big deal out of being on a horse

That’s not Zeffirelli because the horse is not alive

Who the fuck put a horse on the stage

isn't this that picture of napoleon on the horse

Area Count Thinks Citizens will be Intimidated by his Extremely Fake-looking Horse Statue-- closest

Everyone wants their turn on the giant plaster horse. Police are there to make sure everyone waits their turn.

Night out with the lads

Local royalty horrified at the state of his own damn kingdom

gay army fights different gay aesthetics-- hi author how does it feel to be the funniest fucking person on this quiz

Well at least I LOOK badass

ceasar if he hadn't gotten stabbed (colourised)

some soldiers jumped out of my kindergarten fairytale collection book to burn the don carlos flemish deputies at the stake

It’s just a model

Is that how you feel pulling up in your Honda Civic, Madge?

Someone rides a horse statue in public.

Just a normal party with the bros.

what is this, some kind of crossover episode? 

Terribly sorry for all the fuss, it’s just, that is, my horse is afraid of neck ruffles. I’ve tried to talk to him about it, but he’s—whoaaa there—he said he was a french courtier in a past life and he’s allergic to English fashion 

Horse seller, listen to me! I am riding into battle. I need your strongest horse. - We have horses at home. - The horses at home: 

All hail Incitatus the king 

we are not ripping off shakespeare’s henry viii. what the fuck. this is about lenny xi you uncultured swine, go drown in a pit of your own farts 

oh god is that hamilton 

Guy Removed From Art Museum For Sitting On Statue, more at eleven 

Gay <3

Officer: This horse... is a virgin! Crowd: *cheers*

originally taken from: the Parma Verdi Festival’s 2017 staging of Giuseppe Verdi’s Stiffelio, featuring Maria Katzarava (left) as Lina and Luciano Ganci (right) as Stiffelio

Responses:

That One kid in class

its a mEntAL BreAkDowN *final countdown but kazoo*

*record scratch* yeah, that's me. you're probably wondering how I got here-- closest

Dad keeps monologuing, teenager is done

left: all of my concerned friends, right: my emo ass having a very public mental breakdown

the demons in the corner of my room when im just trying to sleep

lady gets mansplained to (do i need to say more, we've all been there)

It’s probably an area baritone telling off an area soprano-- sorry; it’s a tenor. soprano is right though.

That was a fake horse in the last photo right?

child comes out as gay to father at a particularly bad time

dissociation solves everything

I can't believe it's not butter

Honey we talked about this

My sleep paralysis demon is Crowley from supernatural

child has nightmare of boring job

When you start dating a singer but he won’t stop practicing at night

just an average day in a hetero marriage

what do i do my wife's having period cramps again

Stop having an existential crisis. It’s time to sing!

“No son of mine will kin Gomez Addams under MY roof”

Crowley stares into space while a teen has post nut clarity.

When he wont stop reciting jordan peterson monologues!!

Do you realize how effed you are?

Ugh, not this lecture again! Dad’s Practicing For His Experimental Indie Band Again 

asking your parents for help with your own personal situation and them just ranting off about what they went through instead of helping in any way 

Will he shut up already!

no one tell him he’s yelling in the wrong direction, no one tell him plnsbdjddhdj 

this kid is tired of his dad listening to rush limbaugh (a man who claimed to be pro life but died anyway) 

Me internally vs externally 

Daddy issues

originally taken from: the Grand Théâtre de Genève’s 2020 staging of Giacomo Meyerbeer’s Les Huguenots, featuring several chorus members

Responses:

It’s the deadly eye Of Poogley-pie. Look away, look away, As you walk by, ‘Cause whoever looks right at it Surely will die. It’s a good thing you didn’t … You did? … Good-bye. - shel Silverstein

why the fuckith? my good sir, i beg of you to put your pants back on

I hate this itchy hat

Titanic Extras hear that they have to do extra hours

people waiting to board the titanic watch someone fall off the plank

pov: you’re a time traveler

guy in the flatcap is embarrassed by patriotism and pathos

No idea. For some reason Le Marseillaise comes to mind

Is this from Harry Potter?

disneyland main street usa workers on strike

local tries to hide behind Newsies cap to avoid unpleasant but inevitable conversations. meanwhile, some very fashionable ladies look on.

"Thank fuck, 2020 was just a dream after all"

“We gather here today because this bitch got exactly what she deserved” “heaven!” “Stfu Stephanie she’s going to hell and we all know it”-- not quite but this basically happens later on in the opera (and act) so yeah (except the person in question very much Did Not Deserve It)

dc movie filter on bridgerton

america?

looks like my history teacher paused the prohibition documentary again

Who still wears page boy hats bro?

Coming out to a room of people who Already Knew That

Bitches are relieved at some party.

Several drunk people exiting getting off the subway attempting to seem sober and rational but realizing they have somehow lost all of their possessions

How tf do I act natural in this situation-- closest

“do you think any of them noticed that I don’t know the pledge of allegiance” 

It's too fucking hot outside for this outfit 

?

when hyyh yoonkook ending just hits different 

pedestrians watch in horror as the triangle shirtwaist factory burns and the workers throw themselves out of the windows from a dozen stories up 

Starting the pledge of allegiance be like 

He's having a heart attack oh no oh god oh fuck

originally taken from: if I remember correctly, the Semperoper Dresden’s 2018 semi-staging of Johann Strauss II’s Die Fledermaus, with Jonas Kaufmann as Gabriel von Eisenstein

Responses:

“William Shakespeare wrote: "To thine own self be true And it must follow, as the night the day Thou canst not then be false to any man" I believe this wise statement best applies to a woman A blonde woman Over the past three years she taught me And showed us all That being true to yourself never goes out of style Ladies and gentlemen Our valedictorian: Elle Woods!” - legally blonde the musical

eat ass, suck a dick, and sell drugs

woooooorrrrd

Finally Jonas has graduated! It’s about time, considering he’s an international star.

what my professors think they look like

Prof. Dr. Dr. When someone tells him there are more than two genders

'and since you've now graduated high school, you'll be entering college etc. blablabla' .........meanwhile, there's a whole row of graduates daring each other to chug the cheap vodka one of them has brought in gallons (yes that happened at my graduation, lol)

Jonas darling baby <3-- can’t argue with that

I just realized I have no idea what the actual fuck happens in an opera

ok this one is just what jonas kaufmann always wears you can't fool me.

"as valedictorian i will share with you the importance of loving the floor"

"Yes, mother, my art degree will make me money!"

Graduation speakers are out, singers are in

Senior year takes a new meaninbg

mansplainer professor explains the concept of feminism to women

Your Prof when you finally turn in that missing assignment be like

younger boris johnson (derogatory)

jonas kaufmann retires from opera and takes up motivational speaking

What a fine graduation evening we’re having today

-70 points for slytherin you all have no swag

A man with a college hat sings.

An obviously greying actor trying to play a university student in a low-budget porn parody

How it feels to graduate high school after being held back for years

East High is a place where teachers encouraged us to break the status quo and define ourselves as we choose. Where a jock can cook up a mean crème brûlée, and a brainiac can break it down on the dance floor-

I may not have been "cool" in high school, but in ten years you will all be working for me!

I finally got my GED!

that one guy in ur intro to cultural anthropology class who mansplains to the professor somehow fucking graduated

he;s just graduating and taking his speech too serously idk

Graduation speeches with that one dude who got held back 3 times

Smrt

originally taken from: the Metropolitan Opera’s 2011 staging of Gioachino Rossini’s Le Comte Ory with Joyce DiDonato (left) as Isolier, Diana Damrau (center) as Countess Adèle, and Juan Diego Florez (right) as Le Comte Ory (disguised as a hermit)

Responses:

There is something very [disturbing grunts] About polyamorous couples - polyamorous, Chris Fleming

jinkies

femme fatale (including to herself)

I’ll have a threesome soon !

Hot guy walks by, everyone swoons.

thirdwheeling friend does not realize the other two are having sex

When your girlfriend had „just two beers“ again

jesus is exasperated about having to drag the two ladies towards doing what he needs them to do instead of purple dramatically declaring suicidal intent over the smallest trivial matters and red being equally dramatic about declaring that it's not the way! stay alive! i love you!!

The throuple is thriving

Get off the milf

orgy

my last three braincells because im a horny slut

countess receives too much love and is confused on how to react

Rasputin's lesser known romp with a much older czarina of russia

Woman's soul leaves body

Jesus and co. are worried after another woman gets pregnant without having sex

bisexual looks at photos of celebrity couples

When you go to the party to socialize with new people but your weirdo friend group starts getting clingy

Jesus cumming

one of those weird church christmas pageants but everybody's drunk

What have I done

Hozier??????????

Jesus assfucks some purple lady being hugged.

This time, the chick IS the magnet

An affair/threesome gone awry (2019 colorized)

What do you mean they canceled GLOW?

“I TOLD you it was cashmere!”

Are you wearing the - - The Gucci dress? Yes I am.

It's not what it looks like!

jesus is fucking that one cheerleader who grew up to be a suburban mom with one (1) super cool dress she stole from her kid who is desperately hugging her middle begging for it back because the spring fling is coming up and jason might actually make eye contact with her for more than three seconds.

jesus and mary magdaline and some other bitch

I’m at a bar and these drunk girls are flirting with me, do I lOOK GAY?!

Shrek 5, jesus's return

c. 2025 First attempt of an Officer and his Wife with a Handmaiden (colourized)

just about all of these are close lol

originally taken from: the Bolshoi Theater’s 1993 staging of Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky’s The Maid of Orléans, featuring Nina Rautio (left) as Joan of Arc and Vyacheslav Pochapsky (right) as Thibaut d’Arc

Responses:

Don’t look, I’m still pooping

yall, the audacity of this man. he fuckin talked to me

*i can't even tell you how wrong you are* *it would be insulting to ME*-- closest

Cospeto!

„No I’m not talking to you, you keep cracking bad jokes!“ - „But I got another!“

when you’re mad at him but he says he’ll buy you food if you cheer up

When I’m wallowing in self-pity but my friends won’t comfort me

right: wanna fuck ;) left: yeah, fuck OFF lmao

Her face is screaming “don’t tell me what to do”

Yeah I got nothing

gay man tries to hit on a lesbian bc he thinks she's a twink. she's not amused but she's watching this happen anyway

me tired of MET's bullshit and them organising a Netrebko, known blackface apologist, a recital during Black History Month. (sorry im still fucking salty lol)

"stop smiling at me like that I'm trying to pout over here"

"I got fleas, you got fleas... wanna fuck?"

I have the best idea!

Haha nooooo don’t hit me with that bat you’re so sexxyy

lesbian is bothered by dilf

Me trying to flirt

if call me by your name was hetero and set in america

how many more dad jokes can i take before i explode

So. You’ve gotten yourself in a little pickle again.

What if we fought in the Russian revolution together ✨???????... unless??

Two people flirt in a poor place of town/

"If you ask me what I've got under this dirty, shapeless tunic one more time I swear to god I will kick your rotting teeth in"

You look like ur gonna kill me but ok

Really? You again?

Okay, I’ve been sitting here for 20 minutes, do you think it’s safe to—oh god, he’s still there.

Have you seen Godot?

she is tired of everyone’s shit. she has done so many derivatives it physically pains her to see a variable. dont test her. ur icarus rn.

idk pick better pictures-- I HAVE DIED THE SHEER AUDACITY AND HUBRIS I LOVE THIS

200% done with your crap 

Homeless man has fucking legs of steel n is gonna show off his Russian dance moves

originally taken from: the Théâtre de Capitole du Toulouse’s 2019 staging of Paul Dukas’ Ariane et Barbe-bleue, featuring Sophie Koch (right) as Ariane and I don’t remember who the person on the left is rip me

Responses:

The knight who wore this into battle sure was swaggy

dear god its hiddeous

Capitalism

Knight in shining armour gone even more wrong.

ghost contemplates the safety of spiky motorcycle helmet

„Stop! He feels bullied!“

'this is my newest take for jesus's crucifixion crown ...... what do you mean they already put him up'

That’s probably a really expensive magic helmet idk. IDK-- closest

Omg I love the adventure zone!

minesweeper (windows xp)

"Okay whatever you do don't touch the shiny spiky ball" "It's so shiny I wanna touch it"

Taking down the trash way too late

IT'S NOT A PHASE MOM

Darth Vader got stuck in the freezer.... again. Leia isn’t happy

Star Wars 2030

“And here is the very latest in motorcycle helmet trends” “Look, I only came to the mall for a pair of socks “

futuristic kkk

long-suffering jewelry store attendant really wants to retire

Put it down put it down put it down

“Hmm no you should see a doctor about that”

A weird ass crown is presented

The creation of sars-cov-2: an experimental Eurotrance nightclub art piece gone horribly wrong

How it feels to want something that u cant have

AND WE WILL CALL IT—SPIKE MAN actually do you think that’s too obvious?? Because of the—yeah, because of the spikes?? See, that’s what I’m worried about. I want it to be SCARY

I know it's risky but... lube me up

?

use the force luke.

that is a weird fleshlight

When you get an ugly gift and need to find a way to get rid of it, so your family member/friend offers to smash it

Touch the orb

originally taken from: the Opera Vlaanderen’s 2019 staging of Fromental Halévy’s La Juive, with Nicole Chevalier (left, with bottle) as Princess Eudoxie, Enea Scala (center, under table) as Prince Léopold, and Roy Cornelius Smith (right) as Éléazar

Responses:

When no one comes to your birthday party :(

fantastic, day 487 of mischief and they have yet to find my masterful hiding spot

i really wonder who he thinks he's playing footsie with

Marriage crisis. Reason sits under the table-- closest but not in the way you think (after all, the man under the table IS a tenor).

the last supper afterparty after jesus left

When you order the last supper on wish

espionage at the Politischer Rosenmontag

Probably the wrong opera but is that Leporello under the table

Now THIS is a Good Friday night

this was every birthday party i went to between the ages of 5 and 11

that awkward moment when you drop your fork under the table but when you re-emerge everyone else has left except one drunk lady and the guy trying to deal with her

After the last supper

Tfw you arrive to the dinner party too early and have to hide until a more fashionable hour

When the cishets aren’t home

waiter hides from customers

Nobody: My dog every time I’m eating:

what's left of the homies Jesus had dinner with

university chem lab experiment gone terribly wrong

I’ve been under the table FOR 30 MINUTES

Set your friends up by tossing them off under the table, they’ll think it’s each other n fall in luv

Someone hids under a table

"You're about to see an surreptitious-under-the-table-dick-sucking master at work"

5 yr old me trying to eat the desert under the table without my parents finding out be like:

They never invite me to their parties!

Just another girl’s night in

Oops! Didn’t notice you the table.

dionysus - bts (2019, colorized)

just a normal episode of eric andre (eric is the one under the table)

Just a normal day with the boys

Thievery

originally taken from: the Théâtre de Capitole du Toulouse’s 2017 staging of Giacomo Meyerbeer’s Le prophète, featuring Kate Aldrich (left, surrounded by women in white) as Fidès and John Osborn (center, looking like a Jesus doppelganger) as Jean de Leyde

Responses:

Hold up, is that Eggman above Jesus?

holy disco

Looks like Tannhäuser. Our lord and saviour Richard Wagner. Now I need to be saved from that.

catholicism

me defending pineapple on pizza (THANK YOU)

jesus but hes about to be abducted by the alien ufo above him

Emmmmmmm Heaven? Idk

Lord of the rings?

ewww christianity gross

"behold, I am Important"

"Seriously?? It's not ACTUALLY pyjama day? Fuck you guys!"

Jesus at the Disco

Jesus Finds The Molerat People Who Live Under Bethlehem

disco is heaven

Want to join my new religion?

the kkk

church christmas pageant where everyone's sober but it's based on the director's fever dream

Am I the only one who sees the giant demon? Just me? Okay...

“Oh god I think I’m starting my period”

A party is held with a priest in the middle

"Let's get this secret Vatican sex party rolling!"

The new avengers endgame set is looking great!!

You know, guys, I try not to be a bother but...I can’t help but feel like I missed a dress code memo for this wedding??? It’s cocktail, right??”

Jesus visits Hogwarts

I must really stink if no one will even come close to me

the extra ass funeral i DESERVE

star wars life day

A cult at it’s best-- closest

Shrek 5, Jesus is still there I guess

originally taken from: the Royal Opera House, Covent Garden’s 2013 staging of Giuseppe Verdi’s Les vêpres siciliennes, featuring Bryan Hymel (left, standing) as Henri, Lianna Haroutounian (center, kneeling in the black gown) as Duchess Hélène, and Erwin Schrott (kneeling to her right) as Jean Procida

Responses:

When the director’s like “great rehearsal guys, just a few notes before I let you go” but it’s already 9:13 and your mom’s waiting in the parking lot

loyalist of subjects

bow before your queen

They forgot to take down the stage boxes after the Vienna opera ball but the show must go on.

somebody forgot to book chairs for this funeral

Me sharing God’s (Hayley koyoko) word on the discord server

mass execution bc the oboe solo sucked ass-- closest

That’s too many black suits I can’t see shit

I can’t even tell what’s going on here

8th grade school assembly about how it's uncool to shit on the walls at school

let's all get fancy so we can go to the opera and sit on the stage (idk this one's hard lol)

"Yes i am a time traveller, now don't freak out"

Tfw you forget to pay your lighting bills

White guys make decisions that will benefit them and screw someone that’s not a white guy over-- OUCH but that is too real (although not really in context here)

dead man gives speech at his own funeral

brotus and the boys ??? last meeting before the stabbing

high society social function ends in mass murder-- right opera, wrong scene

Someone walks into the talent show stage with a dog

Black-dressed bitches worship a man.

Worst school assembly of all time

POV:You're the window in the classroom and someone said "its snowing"

When the conductor shows up fashionably late to the orchestra concert

That's what you get for choosing the cheapest ticket option, get back in the mud where you belong

?

theyre just trying to jump into a grave at a funeral leabe them alone this is normal

oh my god he really whipped his dick out in front of everyone, this is just like in 1776 guys, except some women are actually in the room this time,

A funeral, stop wearing so much black

I want to slap their bald heads like rice

originally taken from: the Teatro Real Madrid’s 2018 staging of Gaetano Donizetti’s Lucia di Lammermoor, featuring Roberto Tagliavini (right) as Raimondo

Responses:

Crowd “haha!! Looks like someone missed the all-black memo!! Now it’s laugh-in-your-face time! / Guy on the floor (whispering to guy against wall): go, save yourself! I’ll hold them off...”

if i leave now i wont be a witness and can tell the police i had no idea

it was the best of times, it was the worst of times

Guy in the back pretends to help but is to far away to even know what’s going on.

priest walks in on beginning of an orgy, contemplated joining but is too scared-

when someone brings up capitalism but you’re just trying to play minecraft

lol lets trample this guy while the judge isnt looking

Again. Too many black costumes

Loved this Dostoevsky novel

i would know if opera directors were more creative with clothing choices ngl

me on parties lol

"imma just sneak out of here while everyone else is distracted"

"Where did he get this flooring!? Amazing!"

Everyone act normal!

The tell tale heart but they got REALLY drunk

man tposes to ward off vampires after being caught undercover

boys ???? night

the priest really shouldn't have visited the insane asylum-- closest

He’s FINE everyone’s been hit by a car before

Something happens in a room.

Perks of being a wallflower

There's always that one person in the fight whos trying not to get involved when they really wanna

Oh good, they’re all posing for a Rembrandt painting, I can just sneeeeaaak out the back here...

The gamer livestreaming Resident Evil + everyone watching the stream ? waiting for him to open the door just knowing it will trigger a chase scene

Quick!

the guy t posing in the back is regretting his every decision.-- also accurate

the us senate jumps ted cruz, some other wack ass gop senator is trying to sneak away

...I spoke too soon, however this is a James Bond mission

Queers help fellow queer do math but it's a struggle

[oddlybitter]

nocturne - chapter one excerpt

hello again!! from the cavernous depths of my drafts, i bring you the latest: a quick excerpt from an upcoming chiluc fic, nocturne! today’s AU is..... modern vampire/hunter!! 

i plan for nocturne to drop after i finish up the second chapter, which means the whole thing will be posted on ao3 by the end of next week :)

CW: Religious symbolism, non-graphic violence, swearing

Diluc doesn't have weaknesses. He has strengths, and he has patience, and by God, this bloodsucker is really testing both. As the vampire practically frolics out of the grocery store, a bag of inedible food in hand, Diluc rolls his sleeves up. The butcher waves goodbye as he heads over to the self-checkout, trying his best to keep his eyes on the vampire as he crosses through the parking lot. If Diluc cuts him off before he can mingle with the crowd of shoppers frantically salvaging dinner plans and forgotten date nights, then he can quickly dispatch of him before the Guild's representative gets in the way. He slides his card through the machine, punches out his pin, and makes a beeline for the automatic doors. 

"Diluc?" 

Fuck. Shit. Diluc turns on his heel, plastering a smile on his face as he takes in a sight he would literally beg to never see again. 

"Huffman, it's been a while." He says, cursing inwardly. 

The other man smiles back. "Yeah, it sure has. How're things going? I haven't seen you since you walked out on the hit in Sumeru." 

Ouch. Salt straight in the wound. Not only does Huffman lack tact, but it seems that the Guild has shown up early, for once. Shifting his weight from one foot to the other, Diluc grins blandly. 

"Things are fine. Busy." He says emphatically, but ridiculously, Huffman doesn't get the hint. Either that, or he's deliberately stalling. Prick. 

"And by busy, you wouldn't mean illegally tailing an A-Class hit without a permit, would you?" 

Diluc sighs. Prick, it is. "Huffman, I don't have the time for those anymore. I have a business to take care of, so if you'll excuse me, I'll be off." 

Swiveling away and walking out of the door as fast as humanly possible, Diluc scans the parking lot for his lost target, his grip shifting around the plastic bag in his hand. Unsurprisingly, the vampire isn't anywhere to be seen, and the tell-tale scent of iron and ashes long gone from the air. Cursing, Diluc glances down at his watch, absentmindedly patting his back pocket for the keys to his car. The entire plan has been dashed hopelessly to pieces, and that means Diluc's going to have to pour even more resources into chasing down some damned mosquito, and for what? Satisfaction? Revenge? Just because he fucking can?

He huffs, unlocking the door and slumping into the front seat. The bag of groceries droops sadly in his lap, deflating in defeat. Inside is a box of mint leaves and a beer, two things he has absolutely no use for. Alcohol messes with him more than he'd admit, although he likes to say it overloads his hunter's senses and makes him inefficient. It's a half-lie, but a lie nonetheless. With a world-weary sigh, Diluc leans forward, hitting his forehead on the steering wheel in frustration. 

"Cheer up, sunshine, you're not completely finished." A voice jovially calls out from his backseat, and Diluc's eyes snap open. 

Almost instantly, he sits up, yanking the handle near the bottom of his seat and dropping it backward with as much force as he can muster. A winded "Oof!" comes from behind him, and as he looks over his shoulder, the hunter's face contorts into a dark frown. Currently pinned underneath his car seat is the vampire he's been tailing, wriggling like a bug underneath a taxidermist's needle.

"Alright, alright," He groans. "I'll knock next time." 

Diluc drives the seat back even further. "Our father, who art in heaven -"

Pressing his hands to his ears and grimacing in pain, the vampire screws an eye shut, attempting to shy away from the sound. "Ah, ah, stop! I'll behave, I promise." 

Getting a good look at him now, Diluc takes in the mess of strawberry blonde hair, cold blue eyes, and an unholy amount of freckles. For a creature of the night, he sure looks like his natural habitat is in the sunlight. Taken aback by his appearance, Diluc can't help but stare for a few seconds, but he quickly snaps out of it, remembering his place and untucking his crucifix from underneath his shirt. 

"Why are you in my car? Do you have a deathwish?" He demands, and the vampire glances briefly at the swinging pendant, his eyes sharpening in hunger. Perhaps it was an ill-thought-out plan to loosen his collar. 

Shrugging, the vampire gives him a haphazard grin, drumming his fingers against the car seat. "Maybe. I just wanted to take a good look at you. For a Guild hunter, you're rather persistent. By now, they should have sent out at least two of you to track me down." 

Diluc scowls. "I'm not associated with the Guild." 

"So you're pursuing me of your own volition?" He presses a hand to his chest, making a show out of swooning against the car door. "A man after my own heart!" 

God, Diluc is going to fucking kill him. You would think that eternal, damned life would sober up an immortal or two, but it seems to have gone to this one's head. Already, Diluc can scope out the key elements of his personality: irritating, cocky, and a complete show-off. In fact, he bets this vampire hasn't even mastered teleportation yet. 

"All bark and no bite," The hunter murmurs aloud. 

It's at that moment that the faintly amused look in the creature's eyes changes, suddenly hardening into a stare like a riptide current, deep and dangerous. With an easy push, the vampire drives the seat upward, sending Diluc's back ramming hard against the steering wheel, his elbow hitting the dashboard with a painful thud. Before he can react, the redhead is being pushed forward, a hand on the nape of his neck sending his face into the cushion of the front seat, which hurtles back from the impact. The vampire laughs airily, his knee pressed into the base of Diluc's spine. Well, perhaps he was wrong about the teleportation. 

He snickers. "So if you're not with the Guild, sunshine, and you're doing this without all of their fancy paperwork, then who's the seasoned hunter I've been expecting? Please don't tell me all you're good at is following breadcrumbs."  

[aroaceslytherin]

A03 AU HP Fanfic (Finally Here!)

Chapter 1: Karma Killed Her (https://archiveofourown.org/works/31582727/chapters/78143753) (mention of abuse and homophobia, some transphobia)

QUITE LONG

1953 Walburga winced as the maids pulled tighter on her corset. Her nails dug into her palms. Her arms hanging loosely at her sides. Today was her wedding day. Yesterday was the day she had been practicing her posture. Her mother hit her quite a number of times whilst screaming; ‘Upright! Left, right, forward, back. Let him lead! Your wedding must be perfect or else it will surely lead you to a life of solitude!’ For as long as Walburga could remember, she had been a little unsteady on her feet. She would chase her brothers down the hall and clip a corner to close which resulted in bruises on her shoulders, falling on her arse and limping for a week, or that one time she stained her mothers floorboards with a broken nose. That was a day she would never forget. FLASHBACK She could already hear the furious steps of her mother’s heels as they climbed the winding stairs of their manor. “CAMELIA WALBURGA BLACK!” Walburga groaned internally as the witches mended her nose. “Mother, I have told you. I cannot help it that I stumble!” Irma growled, hitting her daughter over the head with her palm. “You need to listen to the etiquette teachers! Practice makes perfect after all, and you are to be the perfect heiress someday! We already have your husband chosen, and I am not having you ruin anything with your clumsy nature! I will see to it you go twice every-day from here on out!” Walburga opened her mouth to protest. Her mother clamped her mouth shut, pushing the medi-witches out of the washroom. “Enough, ladies!” She knelt in front of Walburga, tilting her daughter’s head up so grey eyes met hers. “You are growing up, dear. I cannot have you muddying up your dresses anymore as you chase your brothers ‘round this house! It is unladylike! You are soon to be eleven! Tis’ time you act like a grown woman!” Irma pulled her daughter up and shoved her to the door. “Dinner is downstairs getting cold, I suggest you eat before you get none. AND CLEAN UP YOUR BLOOD BEFORE BED OR YOU GO HUNGRY FOR A WEEK!” END FLASHBACK Walburga tousled her curls through her fingers and admired her dress in the floor-length mirror before she headed out of her bedroom and into the halls. Her heels tapped softly on the hardwood floor as she made her way downstairs. She tripped once she got to the bottom. Though not over herself. “ALPHARD!” She screamed, picking up the two-year-old dressed in a black ruffled dress. She hoisted her on her hip, supporting her with one hand under the baby's bum. Walburga stormed through the house looking for her younger brother just shy of one year. She found him outside in the greenhouse, taking a drag. She groaned, shifting the squirmy brat to her other side.

“Alphard Roland Black!” She yelled through gritted teeth, pushing through the greenhouse doors.

He hadn’t noticed her until she grabbed the cigarette from his mouth and threw it on the ground, stomping on it with her heeled boot; putting it out.

“Fuck’s sake, what?!” Alphard yelled, hands to the side. Walburga thrust the baby into his arms. He took her with a groan of protest and disgust. “I don’t want this.”

“You are on baby duty!” Walburga huffed, crossing her arms and scowling at him. “We expected you to be keeping these kids from being in our way, and you are out here smoking fags?!”

“Why are we doing this? They are Cygnus’ after all! Besides, this whole cousin marrying cousin thing is absurd!” He waved his hand in a circle, rolling his sharp grey eyes.

“Mother is against people knowing he had kids out of wedlock and in his teens. Why are you so against everything she teaches?”

“So is Cygnus!”

“NOT!” Walburga screamed. “He merely broke one rule, you go against everything!” She swiped her hand through the air firmly to signify her point.

“WALBURGA!” Their mother screamed from the porch. “Get back in this house this instant!”

Walburga poked her brother in the chest with her sharp nail painted black. "Watch the brats or I will have your head.” She growled as she hiked up her dress with a huff before heading back to her mother. “Heaven forbid my kids act like him.” She murmured under her breath.

Upon approaching her mother, Irma cast cleaning charms on her then pushed her inside. “I thought I told you to stop going after Alphard, you are twenty-five for crying out loud.”

“He was smoking again and was not watching Bellatrix like you asked. I tripped over her.” She felt her mother’s grip tighten on her shoulder at the mention of her brother with cigarettes again. Walburga shrugged her off and headed to the front parlour with a huff.

***

Hours later everything had gone well. Walburga was proud of herself she had not made a fool of herself as the new Lady Black. There was laughter and chatter between the whole of the Pureblood society and, as suspected, no mud-bloods, half-bloods, or traitors had attended.

Walburga greeted everyone by name; to be polite. She danced gracefully this time (as the bruises, cuts, and welts from her mother had reminded her) with the various partners she had taken up as they moved throughout the ballroom. She felt confident, proud, and more-so like a lady than she had when she woke up that morning.

Walburga jumped in her skin when her brother surprisingly came out of nowhere then grabbed her by the wrist.

Alphard spun his sister into his embrace. She grimaced at his breath.

“You smell like you had gone and drunk all of our liquor." She took his hand and placed a hand on his shoulder as they began to waltz. "Where are the children, brother mine?”

“Sleeping, darling. Don’t you worry.” He smirked that notorious Black lineage smile that most everyone in their family wore proudly. “Congratulations, sis.” He kissed her on the cheek, spinning her twice before dipping her. “I am afraid I may have to leave permanently.”

“What?!” She hissed quietly, pulling herself up before darting her grey eyes around the vast room to make sure no one around her heard. “You cannot! Must you?”

Alphard brought the rhythm back before they tripped over each other. “I cannot handle mother any longer. You ratted me out, it was worse than last. I am an outcast here and you know it.”

“Who will help with Bella and Andie?” Walburga asked, politely declining another dance as her brother spun her again.

“Mother said you are to take them until he is of age. By then, though, he may just not be a suitable father.” Alphard bowed to her as the next symphony started. He grabbed her two hands in his, pulling her to him before kissing her forehead. “I love you.” Alphard handed her off to the male that had asked her for her hand last time before fleeing and never looking back.

____________

As the evening drew on, Walburga grew tired and tipsy. Several people had left or retired to the hallway to have a proper chat. As she danced with Orion, she noticed William Lestrange and her mother talking in a corner.

“Pass me to him, please. I need to get closer to my mother.”

Orion obeyed and took the next lady into his arms. Walburga heard her congratulate him as she moved through the sea of people before landing in the arms of a man that was close to her mother.

“...such a beautiful bride. People will talk for years to come. You must be satisfied.”

Walburga’s heart filled with warmth. She worked hard for tonight and was glad she could stay focused on being poised and graceful all night; careful to not trip during the dances. Walburga focused her grey eyes on her mother to listen on what she was going to say. She waited all night to hear a good thing from the person who gave her life. All she wanted was approval. To make her mother proud by being the best lady. It seemed all throughout childhood her mother nagged on her for not being the best. Finally she could be accepted!

“That girl is a lost cause!” Her mother bit out at William. Irma’s face twisted into a sneer as she gripped her wine glass tight. “No grace, frighteningly terrifying, always muddying her dresses and chasing after her brothers! I should curse her to having a son just like Alphard with mannerisms like her so she at least knows the pain I went through! Months of work and she still can’t sit upright, walk poised, or stand with dignity! Forgets proper etiquette and table manners! Was troublesome until she went off to Hogwarts, I was glad to be rid of her! Now she’s off troubling someone else and for that I couldn’t be happier!”

Walburga felt like someone had just stabbed her in the heart.

William bowed down and kissed Irma’s hand. “I am all the more impressed by what you have achieved.”

Her mother smiled sweetly. “Thank you dear, I do what I can. No matter how ungrateful that little brat can be.” Irma ended bitterly.

Walburga thought that her mother. No, Irma. Had always put family first, no matter what.

Toujor Pur, after all.

It was like something had lifted and now all that stood before her was a wicked bitter hag full of jealousy.

I don't need her after all.

“I’m sorry.” She whispered to the man, biting back her tears as she let go. “Thank you, but I-I can’t, can’t be here right now.” She hiked up her dress and fled the ballroom. Toujour Por meant something to her.

I will teach the true meaning behind being pure, keeping the family pure, having magic coursing in our veins, Dark Arts, and family first always- no matter what! None of this behaviour my mother engages in any longer!

***

A few years later Walburga fell pregnant. All she wished for was to give her husband a healthy son to be their heir to stop the gossip, ridicule, and outcasting on how people noticed how hard it was on her. How they thought she actually could not fit the role. Her wishes had not come true. Her first pregnancy had been twin girls; Syfrin Ophelia - later to be Sirius Orion - and Rosier Azalea II. However, she had some faith to her first born...

Walburga held her daughters close to her as Orion stood beside her. "No heir, yet, Camelia."

"Syfrin is a boy."

"That is clearly a girl. Well, Camelia?" Orion started, taking their first-born in his arms. "What odd things run in our family?"

Walburga smiled. "I am not sure, why?"

*

Within two years, she had two more kids. One boy; Alastair Rigel, later to become Alice Fleur. One girl; Regina Adelene, later to be Regulus Arcturus. All four of them tested her nerves just as much as the first four. She never got a full night’s rest again, but she never lost her patience.

Syfrin/Sirius was lively, clumsy, challenging, and loud like Bellatrix, Rosier, and Alastair/Alice where as Regina/Regulus was patient, quiet, obedient, and carefree like Andromeda, Pandora, and Narcissa.

It was too much; her brothers drank themselves to death, Alphard disowned for being gay, Cygnus only having kids because of their family and then her having to adopt them. People within their circle ridiculed them because there were no boys and that Cygnus murdered Druella just hours after Pandora and Narcissa’s birth. They then ridiculed her for having no suitable heir and taking in his daughters.

As her children grew, she repeated ‘Toujour Pur’ and provided constant reminders that muggles were mud-bloods and they were to stay away from them for they were filthy. Walburga would tell them the world was hurtful and cruel. That family came first always.

Her first-born never seemed to understand. They pestered and tested Walburga with inappropriate questions. They seemed unable to sit in a chair right, refused to sit up straight or hold a fork correctly and ate everything with their hands. No matter what Walburga did; this kid was just as clumsy as she used to be. They were a challenge.

She would never hit, she would never yell. Before she lost her temper, she would walk away then come back and talk to her kids about the problem and what she expected. She promised herself she would never become her mother. She would cry herself to sleep at night thinking Syfrin/Sirius would never pick up on her teachings. She was afraid Regulus would follow in their footsteps even though he was currently following hers. Her adopted daughters also did better than Sirius.

*1971

Walburga was glad when she sent Sirius and Rosier off to Hogwarts. Their prefects could finally show them the right way. Andromeda, Bellatrix, Narcissa, and Pandora would be there for a few years and they would listen to them. When the first owls arrived from Bellatrix, that is when Walburga knew something was up.

Orion stood beside her, sipping his wine. Watching as she picked up the letter. Her hands shook as she looked at Bellatrix's handwriting.

Everything she had built, everything she had taught him… it all went up in ashes.

Walburga slammed the letter down as she stormed off to the kitchen.

“Not a word.” She said sternly at the cooks as she approached the cupboards and retrieved the plates. She took them to the cellar where she smashed them against the grey brick wall until there weren’t any left. As she looked at the damage, she sank to her knees and screamed with tears streaming down her face.

Walburga wanted to die, or even murder her daughters when they were born. All they had done since they conceived them was make her life burdensome and painful. Ever since the day they were born, they were a traitors to the bloodline. She was ashamed they were even hers. They had sorted her son and only chance of a good male heir into Gryffindor.

Walburga saw it was coming.

She had one chance left to make things right; Regina.

Her youngest. Obedient, calm, collected, and poised. Never clumsy, boisterous, or rude. A proud Slytherin. Top marks in Dark Arts. She even became a Death Eater after Bellatrix. She understood it was pro-muggle activism keeping knowledge from proper witches and wizards and supported it. Regina never disappointed her even though she was not a suitable heir. She could give a suitable heir, though. Walburga still worried when she hung with her sisters and continued to look up to them.

*1976 September

It was another Summer with the kids home from Hogwarts. Walburga dreaded going to the ball with her dysfunctional family but she couldn’t afford to stay away.

Where Regina/Regulus accepted dance requests and focused on finding a suitable heir, Sirius had not and smoked cigarettes in a corner.

Regina/Regulus had worn a black sparkling ball gown despite the arguing that had followed when Walburga presented it to her; "Why won't you wear this dress?" Walburga asked, hands on her hips as she stood in the middle of Regina's room. Regina/Regulus shrugged. "I do not feel comfortable with them, mother." Walburga folded her arms. "I have come to terms that you are not a suitable heir but that you can give me one, and now you are telling me you would rather wear a suit over a dress? Do not tell me you are like your sister and want to be a man!" Regina/Regulus hung her head, toying with the tulle fabric of the ball gowns skirt. In the end, Walburga won. Whereas Sirius wore a suit with a leather jacket. Which had also ended in a fight. She wasn’t even trying to look for a dance partner or suitable future husband. People made jokes that she was a wizard interested in wizards or even a witch interested in witches. *sometimes they could not tell which gender Sirius wanted to be* Walburga knew who her friends were though; mudbloods and traitors. She didn’t even try to keep his interests or relations with all those harlots and men a secret. For reasons unknown to her, she had recently just stopped doing that in the past year.

I need answers.

Because of her children, Walburga was an outcast. No one talked to her. It forced her to interact with the only people she could; her brothers and her husband. That is where she currently stood, with her family, waving away her brother’s smoke clouds as she tried her hardest to ignore the nausea that clawed at her throat as her husband and brother just kept drinking.

She knew the three of them were trying to forget about Syfrin/Sirius.

Alphard, however, was not. He was proud of Sirius for being himself and acting like him; looking up to the "cool" Uncle.

Walburga had hated her brother ever since the day she had dug into him before he had left her house…

FLASHBACK 1961

Walburga was holding two month old Regina/Regulus as she stormed downstairs to the servants’ quarters where her brother slept in the extra room spending his days drowning in whiskey, smoke, and stupid muggle painting.

“I will not have my children raised around a smoker! What is all this?!” She gestured to his canvases and paintings, kicking one down and stomping on it. “I want you out of this house by sundown! You don’t belong here anymore, you fag! My son does not need this kind of influence! He will marry a weathful, beautiful, young dame and give us wonderful heirs for years to come! In order for that, you must leave!”

“I will still be at the dances and family gatherings as mother insisted when she disowned me and sent me to you, but fine! I’ll leave this bloody house for all I fucking care! Have fun raising eight kids on your own!”

END FLASHBACK

When Alphard glanced at Sirius, it ignited something in Walburga. She grabbed him by the collar and dragged him off to a nearby powder room. She threw out the girls giggling inside and locked them out before putting up a silencing charm and glared at her brother.

“Have you been seeing my daughter!?” Walburga seethed, crossing her arms.

Alphard took another drag.

She pulled it from his hand, throwing it in the ashtray before pushing her brother toward the counter with her hands around his neck.

He winced as she pushed him further into the countertop; the smooth edges pushing painfully against his spine. Alphard watched her eyes turn almost black. There was no more grey colouring or happiness in Walburga. She had turned cold, like their mother. There was no turning back from that for a Black…

Once you go black, you never go back.

“I will ask again.” She growled. “Have… you… been… visiting… my… child?!”

“They have been coming to me.” Alphard choked out. His throat was on fire and his wrists were hurting from squeezing the counter. “They had questions.” He choked out. “I answered.” She squeezed tighter. His vision blurred. “Stop!”

Orion ran in and yanked her backwards. “Honey, stop!” He yelled, squeezing his hands into her shoulders. “You are going to kill somebody!”

Walburga shoved Orion away. “What do you fucking care?! You are just drinking away your life with my brother, ignoring your children like always! I’m stuck taking care of eight kids, one of which wants nothing to do with our family and our traditions!” She grabbed her husband’s wrists, her voice gone dark as she spoke her next words. “You do anything you can to stop her from burrowing further into this rabbit hole of hers!”

“You have been making him hurt your son already! He has bruises, scars, and told me a complete list of spells yo-”

“SHUT UP!” Walburga screamed, slapping her brother. “YOU did this to her! I told you to stay away from her, no matter how persistent she got!”

“He is fifteen!” Alphard argued.

“AND DOING EVERYTHING YOU AND CYGNUS DID WHEN YOU TWO WERE YOUNGER!” Walburga screamed even louder. Alphard was right… Walburga was too far gone now. “She is a disgrace. An outcast, a traitor, a freak! I should have just killed all of them.” She glared at her husband. “I am taking the children home.”

*nine at night*

Walburga was quiet the rest of the evening as she dragged her children home.

Sirius was laughing, Regina was glaring at him, and Bellatrix was complaining.

Why is this my life?

Once they got home Regina/Regulus went up to bed, the girls went outside to giggle about boys. Walburga grabbed her wand and aimed it at Sirius’ back.

Petrificus Totalus!

“You are the worst thing that has ever happened in my life!” She circled her then gripped her chin and tilted it up so their grey eyes met. “Your father has done enough, it’s my turn! I cannot save it any longer, I-” she swallowed thickly.

Say it, you cannot stand loving someone like this anymore. He is not your son. Never has been. Sirius stared at her as she tripped over her words.

Her leather jacket angered her, the long hair she insisted on wearing as a boy, his tattoos she knew she had *very unladylike*, her piercings, her “friends”, her choice in being Sirius over Syfrin, ending up in Gryffindor and being portrayed as a boy by the castle, teachers, and students. She slapped Sirius after letting go of their face.

“I hate you.” She spit it out; literally.

Walburga grabbed the broom from the kitchen and went back to the entrance between kitchen and living room. Her heart pounded, ached in her chest, she did not want to do this to her baby but she had hurt her. She needed to be shown not from her father how much pain she put to her mother, but by Walburga herself… the person she hurt.

“I hate you.” She repeated, tears stinging her eyes.

She could not take it anymore. Sixteen years of humiliation, pain, disobedience, talking back, shouting, screaming, yelling, smashed family heirlooms and antiques, broken books, smashed walls, knives through the tables and walls, fork marks in the table. Walburga’s blood ran cold as she brought the broom up and brought it down hard on her child.

Sirius fell to her knees, biting her tongue to keep from screaming out. Walburga picked her up from under her armpits and brought the broom down on her back once more. “I hate you, you are a disgrace!”

“A faggot like your bastard Uncle!” The broom came down on Sirius' shoulder blade with a deafening crack.

“Hanging out with Mudbloods!” Walburga swung the broom again.

“How dare the fates let you become a bloody Gryffindor! You can have suitable heirs as a girl!” She hit Sirius with the broom three more times with the last sentence.

Again and again, the broom came down on her child. With every hit, Sirius winced. Sirius had disrespected her with everything she was. Walburga had done her best to never hit or yell. She now had enough and could not take it anymore. She poured all her anger and disappointment out on her child. The one person who should have been her heir!

“I hate you! Is that through your skull yet?!” She screamed, pointing her wand at Sirius. “Crucio!” Sirius arched her back, screaming vociferously. Walburga could feel the strength grow within her as she punished her kid.

She struck again… her neck, her hands. Walburga smiled as she watched Syfrin draw away from the sting as she trembled. Walburga could only guess it was from the crying.

She grabbed his long curly hair and pulled her head back to meet her dark eyes. “I… hate… you…” Walburga seethed.

Sirius squeezed her eyes shut, warm tears trailing down her face.

Walburga smiled the Black lineage smile as she threw her forwards at the coffee table.

Sirius' body landed on the top of the table with a hard thud and a pained moan.

“For so long I have had to deal with you… keep up with you… I had your father do my dirty work because I could not go through with it but I have had quite enough! You simply could not have told how much I hated you through your father, but you figured out how much he hated you. It is my turn. You needed to see how much I truly detested you and I did it all in one go.”

Images of all the times Syfrin acted out, disobeyed, stumbled, fallen, talked back. It fuelled her anger. Syfrin deserve no one… not those friends… not her sisters… nor whoever she was seeing.

“You deserve no one!” She continued beating and cursing at her child until she was tired. Walburga had been waiting to punish them. Now that she was finally doing it, she felt like she couldn’t stop.

Walburga watched her daughter turned potential heir turned to a disgrace weep on the table. Blood seeped through her clothing and onto the floor.

I’ll deal with that later.

Her long hair had become plastered to her sweaty tear-stained face. For the first time in sixteen years, Walburga felt content.

“You can drown in your misery for all I care. Just get up to bed before your father gets home or you will deal with him as well. Might as well stay there so he can do more damage anyway, you deserve it.”

She leant over Sirius as the front door opened.

“Too late.”

Walburga gripped her daughter's hair, pulling at the nape of her neck.

“Did I say you are a faggot? I found letters from your so-called friend. Everything you are doing and have done is amoral! You have always been an outcast, a blood traitor, and disowned. You haven’t been my son for years.”

She looked up to find Orion looming over them. He had heard everything she just said.

Sirius whined as she tried moving away but Walburga pulled her up by her elbows and held her back against her own body. “I’m going to enjoy watching your drunk father do the same things I just did to you.” She growled into Sirius' ear.

*eleven thirty*

Sirius climbed the stairs in weak agony.

His parents were downstairs cleaning up the blood, the evidence, and the smashed plates from earlier.

His sisters had gone up to bed through the basement cellar to avoid the scenery of him getting beaten.

He stood on shaking legs in front of the bathroom mirror, locked inside until he left.

Sirius inspected himself; his left eye was purple and swollen, his lips had cuts and dried blood, some blood was still coming out of his mouth, his hands were bleeding, his back was killing him.

His father had beat him harder than he had in the past. Sirius had two assumptions; he was drunker than usual… or, since his mother had not given his father any instructions, then he had done what he wanted to do.

Sirius hung his head and gripped the porcelain sink as more tears escaped his body. How he even deserved this he hadn’t known. Who was he to stop himself from being clumsy, gay, a boy ninety percent of the time, or uninterested in dark magic?! It was who he was!

Without even looking up, he brought his fist up and smashed the mirror to bits. He spun on his heels and punched the wall above the toilet paper holder; leaving a vast hole in the plaster and wallpaper. It left him feeling elated.

He took out his pocket knife from his slacks and added a few more cuts to his wrists before pocketing it again. Sirius became nauseous and threw himself over the toilet where he threw up blood, his dinner, and some bile. He growled as he flushed it down.

About twenty minutes later, he went to his youngest siblings room. He knocked on the door as he entered. Regulus ran up to their brother and wrapped their arms tightly around his middle. Sirius hugged Regulus tight, kissing their head.

“I love you.” Sirius whispered.

“I love you, too.” Regulus replied. “But you can’t leave.”

“I have to! Did you not hear what was going on downstairs?!” Sirius yelled, gesturing to the staircase outside the room leading to the living room he just left. “Do you not see the condition my body is in?!” He gestured to himself.

“YOU FUCKING PROMISED! YOU WERE THERE TO PROTECT ME!” Regulus had hot tears stinging their grey eyes. “You should not have come in. You should have just left!”

“I wanted to say something before I left.”

“Bullshit.” Regulus growled, grabbing a photo album and throwing it at Sirius’ head. Sirius ducked. “You promised! All you do is hurt us!”

Sirius squeezed his eyes shut. “It's not me.” He choked out, the last thing he wanted was for his brother to hate him.

“NO!” Regulus yelled, punching the wall beside Sirius’ head, baring their teeth. “If you want to leave, then leave!” They whispered through their teeth. Regulus' body shook with adrenaline.

Sirius watched Regulus’ cheeks turn from pink to a burning red. Their sad grey eyes were like daggers to his heart, much more so than his mothers. He had been close to his brother. Sirius shoved Regulus away, causing the youngest heir to stumble back.

“FINE!” Sirius growled through clenched teeth. “I thought I could protect you and get you to follow me.”

“They need me!” Regulus whispered, grey eyes searching the grey carpet below them.

“You do not have to do this. Just tell them.” Sirius pleaded. Regulus glared up at him. Sirius nodded. “Alright. Do not tell me I didn’t try. I love you.” He turned out into the hallway and headed to his room as his heart shattered. No one in this house loved him anymore, so he would just go to someone who did.

“I love you. I’m sorry.” Regulus whispered after him.

Sirius heard them.

***midnight***

Walburga sat happily at the table in the sitting room. Humming, she stirred her tea with a small silver spoon and ignored the loud noises from upstairs. Walburga didn’t care about what was going on. If there was damage, she would have someone fix it later. She knew Saiph would outlash at his punishments. Someone trampled down the stairs. Bumping against something every few moments.

“I’m leaving,” Sirius barked, “And you will not be seeing me anymore. I will not be coming back.”

“I would not want you back anyway.”

Walburga didn’t bother getting up. She sat and watched her son/daughter as he stormed out the front doors. With the slam of the front door, everything felt lighter. It should not have felt nice but it had. Sirius was a Gryffindor, he always had been. He never fit in with their Slytherin house, their Dark Arts, the Death Eaters. That was Regina's job.

Walburga was confused when she heard someone else come running. She stood and entered the living room. “Regina.” She said calmly. Regulus stopped in his tracks, looking up at his mother. “She disappointed us. You know that, right?”

Regulus nodded. “But-”

“You will not disappoint us too, Regina. Got it?” Walburga warned.

“Yes, Ma’am.” Regulus/Regina answered sadly. Walburga didn’t catch her tone as she was too busy pulling out her wand and changing the wards.

“She is an ungrateful brat. I did my best, she still had not listened. Then Hogwarts went and sorted her into the wrong house!” She whirled on Regina, taking wide steps until she gripped her chin, locking their eyes together. “You are still focused on finding a suitable heir, yes?”

Regulus/Regina nodded. Though she was just fourteen, she knew how important marrying wealthy pure-blood men was to her mother. She just could not help how he felt towards a certain someone at Hogwarts or how he felt to his own body. She needed to be on her mother’s good side, no matter how hard it got at times. She could have her fun without her finding out, do her duties as a Death Eater on the side, and still have everything be completely alright when she graduates.

Right?

“I know how much it means to you that this family stays together, but unfortunately Syfrin had other plans.” Walburga would see to it that she would not suffer from her older sisters. She would be seen as the one and only suitable heiress of the House of Black who would hopefully bring up suitable heirs in the future.

Regulus followed her to the tapestry and watched as she pointed her wand at Sirius' name; in which the tapestry and every pure-blood paper had re-wrote istelf to suit who Sirius was when he changed who he was in the family. Regulus intended to do that someday as he watched an intense beam come from Walburga's wand.

With satisfaction, Walburga watched the name of what she thought to be her last rotten spawn become burnt off the family tree.

**1977**

Walburga took a trip to Hogsmeade a week after the kids had gone back to school. She did her best to keep herself out of sight from prying eyes as people would surely talk. She had just wanted to see if she could spot Regulus having a bit of enjoyment for once before she headed to Knockturn Alley to find the ingredients she needed to ward the house from Boggarts and Dementors once again.

She had found Regina/Regulus just moments before she turned toward the alley.

Her blood boiled.

She was with her brother, laughing at whatever Potter was saying! Walburga pulled her hands into fists, her nails digging into her palms.

How dare she!

Yet she could not do anything for fear of exposing herself.

Moving on from her disgrace of children, she turned toward Knockturn Alley and right into ‘Cobb & Webb’s’ where she had bumped into…

“Peter?” She questioned. His blue eyes darted around the alley.

What is a sixteen year old doing down here? Isn’t this one of Sirius’ friends?

“Why are you here?”

“I, uh, I’m…” he stuttered. “Sirius doesn’t know.”

“Death Eater, are you?” Walburga thought aloud. Peter nodded.

Why in the whole bloody world did Syfrin become friends with the shyest, drawn-back people? SHE SHOULD HAVE BEEN A SLYTHERIN! At least she would have proper friends that…

Walburga stopped herself and looked at the timid Pettigrew with a sinister smile. She pulled them off to the side and sat him on a bench.

“What are they having you do?”

*1978*

When Regina/Regulus was eighteen, the house became empty and quiet.

Walburga had not heard from her baby in weeks.

She had gotten no letters from her about how Hogwarts was going.

No letters from the Death Eater headquarters.

Walburga had waited for Regina to return for months but she knew by now that she was dead.

The tapestry gave it away.

Regina had been a good girl, she did not deserve the cold hands of death.

*1981*

Now here Walburga was, getting ready for the trial of her firstborn.

She had not seen Syfrin in five years. Walburga refused to attend her wedding to Remus Lupin; the monster, the tainted half-blood. He was just another faggot to deal with. She hated that Sirius had the ability to conceive and bear a daughter with that monster. It left a bitter taste in her mouth that he had even considered the blood-traitor and the mudblood half-blood girl as the child’s Uncle and Aunt alongside her brother. She destroyed Sirius' room when Regulus had become a Godfather to those two’s tainted spawn.

Walburga sensed deep inside she was not getting the full story… that someone was lying to her. If she found out that one of her children lied to her, they would feel her wrath. She could handle punishing Syfrin again, but punishing Regina or Narcissa would crush her spirit even more than it had five years ago when she hurt her eldest son. Narcissa and Regina were the ones who followed their footsteps religiously. Cygnus and some boy named Tom had caused Bellatrix to become too far gone. Andromeda went and married a mudblood Hufflepuff; getting herself disowned.

Entering the courtroom, Walburga sat in the front row. She needed to see everything. A sinister smile crept onto her face as she muttered spells that made them not hear Sirius' cries, as well as whatever she said turn to lies. They deserved this. She had murdered her friends in cold blood and that monster of a husband hated them. Peter was out of the picture, her friends were dead, Remus was hated, outcast, and alone. As soon as Sirius was behind bars in Azkaban,

Walburga was free.

*

Two Aurors dragged Syfrin/Sirius into the courtroom.

It had only been a few months since she had been arrested and time was not nice to her. Walburga could tell she had not slept, that she had been crying and inflicting pain on himself. It made Walburga happy.

If you had just been in Slytherin, none of this would be happening.

Sirius struggled against the restraints, growling menacingly at the Aurors as they struggled to get him in more restraints. He screamed as they threw Crucio spells at him. “I did not do it! It was not me! Are any of you daft bastards listening to me?! You are all full of bullshit and this is fucking… you all need to burn in fucking hell!”

I used to wash your mouth out with soap for that mouth of yours. Can’t believe someone actually kisses your ashtray, liquor filled, vile mouth and those kids of yours are not terrified of their so called parent; a drunk, smoke and drug addicted, vile parent.

Walburga sat there smirking, her eyes trained on her screaming traitor daughter.

Her cries fell on mute ears.

No one was listening.

She put this on himself.

The more she struggled, the happier Walburga was.

He abandoned his families, his brothers, his friends, lovers, and more.

There truly was no one on her side…

There never had been.

The Wizengamont found Sirius guilty and he was dragged out of the courtroom screaming vile curses and laughing maniacally.

Even if you had complied nicely in a calm manner… impossible in this family… they still would have hauled you off. Glad to be rid of you.

*

Walburga was still smiling as she got home.

It was unsettlingly quiet with all her children gone, her husband, heiress, and brother dead, and her other brother living off on his own. She put her veiled hat down on her bed.

From the corner of her eyes, she saw something that made her skin crawl.

It could not be real…She despised her! Everything about her mother made her skin crawl and her blood boil.

I refused to turn into her! I did everything in my power to be different!

She turned slowly towards the mirror on her vanity dresser pushed toward the far end of the room.

“No.” She whispered.

She approached the mirror slowly, locking eyes with her own reflection. “No.” She repeated, shaking her head. “No, no, no, no!” She was smiling back at herself with the same malicious smile her mother had when she had beaten her. The smile she knew was plastered on her face when she beat her first-born. She screamed as she punched the mirror; shards of glass rained down on her, the vanity, and the green carpet below.

Walburga found herself on her knees screaming through her tears. She blindly reached for her wand, finding it on her vanity in a pile of glass. She let the shards cut her as she picked up her wand and herself then stormed off to Sirius’ room.

She kicked his door open then stood staring at his destroyed Gryffindor decorated room for a moment. Walburga could feel the tears flowing down her cheeks as she ripped photos of Sirius’ friends and himself off the walls…

“TRAITOR!” She screamed.

She tore posters and banners down, destroyed his bed further and wiped all the makeup and ink pots off his vanity. She ripped his clothes from his closet, wanting to burn the dresses he had stolen from his sisters.

“Faggot.” She growled, storming off to Regulus' bedroom.

Her heart shattered when she opened the door to her youngests' room. There was nothing out of place in the room and everything was neatly in its place, yet there was a weird feeling emitting off the walls of the room. Regulus had kept everything straight and tidy, but something still felt off. Walburga tore through the room as the front doors slammed open. Walburga looked up from where she knelt on her daughter's floor.

“Dementors.” She whispered to herself. Walburga shook her head and continued searching through her child's clothes, journals, and closet. She pried open a hide-away door that hadn’t been shut all the way.

“Lumos.”

Her heart broke.

“Alphard!” She growled.

She stood up from the small painting room Regina/Regulus had made, coming face to face with a painting that was full of emotion. It was gold, green, silver, and orange with streaks of black weaving through the colours.

“No.” She whispered, thinking back to her daughter smiling at James in the pub.

She backed up into her hanging suits. A Gryffindor tie fell from one of the hangers. ‘J.P’ was embroidered on the bottom. She picked it up in shaking hands as she bit her bottom lip. Tears threatened to spill. She could hear the Dementors and Death Eaters below tear through her house but she did not care anymore.

Walburga let the tie slip from her hands as she exited the closet and fell to Regulus’ bed in body wracking sobs.

“When did this happen?” She asked herself as her muscles tensed and her body became numb.

No one heard from Walburga Black after the trial.

Dementors and Death Eaters raiding her house for the locket was all over the newspapers.

They had killed her…

Karma killed her.

***

read here

Feel free to comment your thoughts or questions! I am sorry if it does not make a lot of sense or things are confusing, I just wrote what felt right. Hopefully future chapters will help connect some puzzles.

(Updates might be slow and out of place... bear with me, I work an overnight job)

Next up? Lyall Lupin and Hope Howell.

[darknessisafriend]

Confession, part 2: sweet revenge

And here it is!!!!!! I hope you will enjoy it as amuch as the first part or maybe even more! ^^ it took an interesting turn and I’m curious to see what you think of it ;) dirty, some rough, edging, religious kink? ^^’ Part 1 here!

  “Y/N, the Abbe calls for you. He’s in the chapel.” Told you Valcours as he found you in the kitchen. You nodded, you hadn’t been alone with him since your confession; and since, he had avoided you like the plague and in a way you felt bad. You wondered if you had truly been forgiven like he had said, or maybe he truly hated you now…you had done your best to be a good girl…why would he keep punishing you? As you headed to the chapel, your heart was beating fast in your chest, wondering why the Abbe wanted to see you and more importantly, was something going to happen again? Your body constantly ached for his touch; it was becoming unbearable.

As you entered the chapel you saw him. The Abbe had his back turned on you, looking at the Christ on the cross, peaceful just like last time. He didn’t need to turn his head to look at who it was; he always recognized you, he felt your soothing and yet electrifying presence whenever you were near him. He had resisted as long as he could but now, he craved to have you all for himself again. You stopped a few feet from him, no knowing what was going to happen next.

“You called for me, Abbe?” you asked, your voice low and careful; echoing in the chapel. There was a small silence where you detailed him, his strong shoulders, tension in them; his hands clasped behind his back. He was containing his desire for you.  

“You have been a good girl lately; you made penance. You deserve a reward Y/N.” he spoke; his voice sounding contemplative, it made your heart skip a beat; was it going to be like last time or will you at least receive a kiss, a touch, something…anything from him…

“Undress Y/N. Slowly.” he ordered you with his usual soft tone. The request sent butterflies down your belly; did he had really asked you this? He turned his head to meet your eyes, his gaze already dark with desire, indicating he wouldn’t like to repeat himself.

You pinched you lips together, your mind racing as you slowly started to undo the laces of your dress, feeling his intense gaze on you, following each movement your fingers made along your dress, each slight movement from your clothes. Finally, something more was perhaps about to happen.

“Why in the chapel?” you couldn’t help but ask trying to fill in the silence; your apprehension and contained excitement showing through your voice; surely there were more discreet places, like his bedroom, although the fear of being discovered was exciting as well. How scandalous that would be, the Abbe, a man with chastity vows, with a naked woman in the chapel. The Marquis would be proud of him, thought the renegade priest with a little smirk.

“For you. Under the benevolent gaze of God, anything that happens here…you will remain pure and it is a safe place for you...us” He answered finally fully turning to look at you, lovely as usual; but he could feel something had evolved in you, that desire for him that you had kept hidden, you weren’t afraid of it anymore because you knew how bad he craved you; it was almost…infuriating.

You detailed his angel face, how much you craved his touch since your confession and this time you weren’t sure you would be so obedient. You were pretty sure that behind his authoritative tone, one single touch from you and he would melt, becoming the one at your mercy. Maybe it was why he refused to touch and undress you himself, fear to lose control over the situation…over himself.

“I believe it is my turn to confess.” He finally spoke, making you blink a few times; it was unusual to do so with someone else than a priest, but you were the only one he was willing to confess his deepest desires to. You finished unlacing your dress, letting it fall on the floor; making him freeze, a bit more flesh to see but not enough and it won’t be enough until you were fully naked before him.

“I wanted to fuck you the second I hired you to work in Charenton.” He let out, his voice coming out as a whisperer but intense. Your breath got caught up in your throat at those words; it was your first time hearing him speak this way and you felt warmth emerge between your legs…so the others weren’t lying when they said he looked at you more than anyone else. You undid your corset; underneath was a thin undershirt. He exhaled soundly; he could see your nipples perk through the cloth, he couldn’t wait to put those rosy cherries in his mouth.

“I am drawn to you in a way I can’t explain, and it unleashes my deepest desires. Desires I can’t control anymore…every time I see you it makes me hard. Painfully hard.” You took off your undershirt, finally revealing your naked chest to him. Each piece you were taking off was awakening even more his desire, the raw side of him; he clenched his jaw and fists behind his back, his nails digging into his palms; he wanted to jump on you and ravage your body, taste every inch of your skin, put his cock in all your holes. You started to undo your underpants, your hands trembling with desire and anticipation.

“I often watch you when you go to the baths, your naked curves, your wet body…it is the most exciting view I ever had.” He spoke, his voice hoarse as you found yourself in just your panties. And you were yourself quite excited by his words and the situation; now you could feel wetness between your thighs. You bit your lower lip as you slowly took off your last piece of clothing.

“Each time I touch myself, I imagine your tongue running along my cock, fucking you hard until we can’t no more.” He purred as if he was a character of one of the stories of the Marquis; he was now hard, he was going to take you and not even God will stop him.

Now you were completely bare before him and the selfish man again kept everything to himself; his body covered and his touch away from you. But then, he finally approached you; you could feel desire transpire off him, he lifted his hand and you retained a flinch, your body too impatient to receive his touch. But instead, his fingers went to your hair, gently seizing the pin holding them together and letting them free, cascading along your shoulders; he soundly exhaled at the vision before his eyes.

“Now on your knees Y/N and pray with me.” His request surprised you; what kind of twisted fantasy did he have in mind? But you played along, you wanted to please him in hope for his touch. You went to kneel before the altar, your knees meeting the cold marble floor, sending goosebumps through your whole body, you joined your hands together.

“Our Father, who art in heaven,” you started, closely followed by the Abbe repeating your verse in a murmur; you heard him approach you from behind, stopping close to you; so close that you could feel his warmth.

“Hallowed be thy name.” You felt him kneel behind you, spreading his legs over each side of your calves; the fabric of his cassock brushing against your naked back, his nose tickled by your hair as he inhaled your scent, he groaned with pure desire.

“Thy Kingdom come.” He murmured at the same time as you, approaching his face from yours, his lips brushing against the shell of your ear; you swallowed down, it was hard to focus if he did that.

“Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.” His finger lightly caressed your shoulders, feather-like, electrifying; slowly traveling to your chest, dangerously approaching your breast; your breathing increased, always craving more his touch.

“Give us this day our daily bread.” he cupped your breast making you gasp in surprise; he moaned softly at the feeling of your breast in his palms; his hands greedily feeling their softness, the tip of his fingers exploring your sensitive nipples.

“Ah- and…and forgive us our trespasses…as we forgive those who trespass against us…” With his lips he explored and felt the skin of your shoulder, your neck, you could feel his fast breathing, he craved you. His touch was so light, tickling your sensitive skin and driving you crazy.

“And lead us not…into temptation,” his arms wrapped around your belly, the bastard…being behind you prevented you from touching him, he had planned everything but you were close to do your move, you were not such an innocent and obedient little maid like he thought “But deliver us from evil.”  He pressed his hard manhood against your ass making you moan in return “For thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory for ever and ever…” He started rubbing himself against you…gosh now you were certain that he studied the Marquis’ books thoroughly.

“Amen…” you finished softly moaning under his touch, lifting your hand to caress his face, you needed to feel him yourself. But barely you had touched him that he angrily spun you around, pushing you down on the floor in lying position, coming on top of you, holding your wrists next to your head.

“I said, don’t touch me.” He growled with authority. Gosh you hated him for that, you wanted to feel his skin, bury your fingers in his hair. “I succumbed to lust; you made me your slave; I hate you.” But the fire in his eyes wasn’t of hate, it was the fire of desire.

“Good because I hate you too.” You played along, tired of his game of denying you pleasure. In a sharp movement you managed to get one hand free and grabbed his cock through his pants, for the first time feeling him; the girls were right when they said he was surely well equipped…what a waste he didn’t get to use it more often. He loudly moaned at your touch, his pure voice echoing through the chapel; no one had touched him there before. He looked at you with anger and a veil of need; you had disobeyed his order.

“A shame that you don’t allow me to touch you…Abbe” you commented, the tone of your voice almost innocent as you let go of his manhood, earning another needy cry from him; he clenched his jaw, no, you were the one in control, he was at your mercy now like he was in God’s mercy.

“Touch me…please.” He finally spoke after a few seconds of silence, his tone softer, he needed your touch, he needed you; he couldn’t help but slowly and slightly start rubbing his hips against your naked body with need “Please Y/N.”

“I don’t know Abbe…you are a man of God.” You replied innocently; it was your sweet revenge for not giving you satisfaction last time. He whimpered desperately, years of abstinence and now burning desire for you, it was too much to bear.

“Please. Y-you want me too, I know it.” He tried to negotiate, arching his hips against your wet pussy and you couldn’t resist but let out a moan, the both of you craved each other. So, you reached to unbutton his pants and finally let out his hard cock.

“Ah Jes…!” he swore aching, but you just held him, teasing and not moving along his length. He lowered his face, closer to yours, his lips almost brushing against yours, a ferocious air on his face.

“I’m going to fuck you so hard that your pussy will burn for days.” Gosh he spoke like in the Marquis’ stories, how arousing…you looked at him with a defying look and grabbed his hair for a strong kiss, he moaned in surprise against your mouth.

“I’ll be the judge of that, priest.” You purposely changed his title to provoke him and it worked; he groaned and penetrated you with one sharp thrust making you reject your head back with a mix of surprise and pleasure; he opened his mouth agape in delight, so that’s how it felt like? Now that he had tasted the forbidden apple, he knew he would never go back to how things were before.

You took a few breaths, your mouth open, your body ready for anything the Abbe would be willing to give you. Then, you lifted your head again and roughly kissed him, pulling on his cassock and making a few buttons pop away, sliding your hand underneath his shirt, feeling his burning skin, his muscles tense under your touch, an aching gasp escaped his lips as the tip of your fingers teased his hard nipples.

He couldn’t wait any longer and thrusted hard, hungrily; he had wanted to fuck for so long, and he was desperately in need for it. Unrestrained, his moans were louder, echoing through the chapel; perfectly mixing with your own cries of satisfaction. You wrapped your legs around his hips, making him bury deeper inside you and he yelped in pleasure in return.

As he pumped in and out of you, each thrust more powerful than the other; he buried his face in the crook of your neck, his lips tickling your skin, his tongue tasting it; you bit your lower lip grinning, if he continued this way it will leave hickeys; until you felt him open his mouth as if to take a bite. You grabbed his hair, yanking his head back, taking his mouth away from your skin as he was about to bite your neck, he wanted to mark you as his.

“Only if you’re mine too.” You groaned, your voice hoarse with desire, he slightly clenched his jaw, his eyes never leaving yours; but then something changed in his gaze, pure excitement.

“Deal.” He smirked before crashing his lips on yours, a strong kiss, he craved touch, satisfaction. You moaned loudly as his mouth traveled back to your neck and bit without any gentleness, it was animal and even more arousing.

“Flogging won’t be the only thing leaving scars on your back.” You breathed, nibbling his ear lobe. He groaned, feeling immense pleasure at the pain you gave him as you scratched his strong shoulders, what sweet pain it was, scratches of pure lust. And in return, his hips slammed hard against your pussy, gosh he wasn’t joking when he said you would feel him for days afterwards.

You took advantage of him being caught in a spiral of pleasure to switch position, straddling him underneath you; he gasped in surprise at the feeling of the cold marble floor against his skin, making his nipples hard. He straightened up to take your breast in his mouth, but barely his lips had brushed against your perky tits that you pushed him down, waving your hips as you rode him like the stallion he was. He chuckled between moans, how much he enjoyed being dominated.

His breathing quickly became more ragged, fast just like his cries of pleasure; the dirty priest was close; and you were too but you had your little sweet revenge in mind, one which will make next time even more unforgettable…so you stopped fucking him, sitting motionless on his throbbing cock.

“What…? Why-why are you stopping? Please continue, please!” he pleaded you, breathless, tears in his eyes, arching his hips underneath you in an attempt to make himself come.

You remained still; a pleased smirk forming on your mouth; the only movement was from your hands slowly caressing his abs “You’ve been a bad boy too Abbe…you have to deserve your reward and make penance.” You murmured as you caught your breathing and pushed yourself off his cock, earning a needy and sensitive whimper from the Abbe.

“Please…” he said again as you leaned forward, your lips close to his.

“Until next confession, Abbe.” You whispered innocently, also denying him a last kiss to leave him aching for next time. You got up, leaving him breathless and desperate as you quickly dressed up and left the chapel, what a sweet revenge you just had and how eager you were for next time, you thought, grinning mischievously.

Abbe’s sinners: @lyoongx​ @weirdflecksbutok​ @skaravile​ @niniita-ah @stardancerluv​ @sgtsavoytruffle​ @charlie-sisters​ @ohcarlesmycarles​ @valentina15 @bring-your-holy-water @beautifulyoungprospect​ @stellargirlie​ @fly-like-a-phoenix​ @we-were-electrocute​ @sophiefleck​ @the-queen-of-things​ @winterjasmine007​

[voicefulbee]

My slow dance with Jesus

By Joseph Ahab (God Increases Love) 

“Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me?” Psalm 42:5a

I waited in vain for an answer, but the lack of response made me mindful of my surroundings. Here I was all alone on the beach at night: sitting on the sand. I couldn't see much, although I was able to make out the vastness of my surroundings in the moonlight. I heard the waves lapping on the beach around me. I took in a deep breath of air, and smelled slightly sulphuric decaying sea matter mixed with salty ocean. A gust of wind passed over me -- chilling my body while it rustled the trees around me.

I took a deep breath and sighed, while staring into the moonlit ocean.

As I closed my eyes, my mind brought me back to around a year ago. I went back to the hospice with my Aunt Deborah: right after my father died. She tells me “God is refining you Joseph.”

I opened my eyes as I shook my head, exclaiming. “Yeah right!”

Combined with losing my Dad and being locked up during a pandemic, I had never felt more alone in my life. Fuck my life!!!

I was pissed. The warmth of a tear falling down my cheek provided temporary relief to the chill of the night.  The one tear turned to several. With tears streaming down my face, all I could think of is one of June Osborne’s prayers.  I looked up to the stars in the skies and cried out: 

“Our father, who art in heaven, seriously? What the actual fuck?”

As I opened my eyes and waited for a response, another gust of wind passed over me -- as the trees rustled around me again.

I turned around and saw nothing but a black void.  I closed my eyes again, and this time a prayer from Kesha came to me.

"Am I dead? Or is this one of those dreams? Those horrible dreams that seem like they last forever? If I am alive, why? Why? If there is a God or whatever, something, somewhere, why have I been abandoned by everyone and everything I've ever known? I've ever loved? Stranded. What is the lesson? What is the point? God, give me a sign, or I have to give up. I can't do this anymore. Please just let me die. Being alive hurts too much."

I opened my eyes as I think I heard a “Joseph!” called out from a distance behind me. While I didn’t see anyone as I strained my eyes, I could now see a tiny flickering light in the distance.

I stood up, brushed the sand off me, and started walking in the direction of the light.  As I began to get closer, the light appeared to be a lamp.  A beautiful melody of piano chords also began to play.

As I arrived at the lamp, I stopped. Seeing no one, I called out: “hello?” I did a full spin and verified that I was still alone. A guitar and drums were suddenly added to the piano melody playing. I let out a sigh as I imagined this melody to be the perfect slow dance song. Yet here I was, all alone.

Looking up at the sky, I called out, “do you think it’s funny to torture me? Have you predestined me to be alone in the dark? Will you even refuse to dance with me Lord?”

I heard a chuckle behind me. Startled, I turned around. There in front of me was Jesus. “Oh my God!” I gasped in astonishment.

Jesus laughed and replied, “That’s me! I hear you’re looking for a dance partner.”

“Wait, one second! Where did you come from?” I asked.

Jesus chuckled and replied, “I have never left you. I have just been waiting for another one of your invitations.  So what do you say… do you want to dance?”

“But you’re a man and I’m a man, my Lord. Surely the Church won’t approve of us dancing together!”

Jesus replied, “freedom comes through abiding in me. Now do you care to take my hand?

I blushed and smiled while grabbing Jesus’ hand.

I placed my arms around his neck as Jesus placed his arms around my waist.  We gently swayed to the melody as we stared at each others’ faces. I couldn’t mutter any words: I was in complete awe of what was happening.

Suddenly I heard the voice of a young man call out; his voice coming from beyond the reach of the light coming from the lamp. “Bruh, that’s so gay! Two guys can’t dance together! Go find some chick to bang!”

“Oh no! He’s back my Lord!” I sighed.

“Who’s back?” Jesus enquired.

“Chad. He’s one of my accusers,” I answered.

“He is speaking lies to you Joseph. But it’s your choice to hold onto his lies, or to let them go,” Jesus told me while holding my face.

I then heard the voice of a young woman call out: “You have every right to feel shame. You really need to keep quiet about yourself. This needs to be a secret.”

“Becky’s right my Lord. I should remain in the dark,” I stated while looking at Jesus.

Jesus replied, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” John 8:12

“Change is possible. If your faith is strong enough, and you pray hard enough, you can pray away the gay!”

“Oh Lord, James has a point. Why has my faith been so weak? What will it take for you to finally answer my prayers?” I asked.

“Joseph. Joseph. Joseph. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. I know this is not your choice. Please ask yourself why you are trying to change what I made wonderful.”

“The only way you’ll ever be able to reconcile your faith with your life is to embrace the affirmation of everything! Sure, you may have to question whether or not that man you’re dancing with is a figment of your imagination, but at least you’ll be able to experience love from everyone else in our church!”

“Do you really desire me to attend Reverend Lovejoy’s church my Lord? Will not my own congregation be willing to discuss my journey with them? Is the only way for me to break away from shame in the Church is to embrace the affirmation of everything?” I enquired of Jesus.

Jesus replied, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” John 14:6

“You’re choosing this because your Mom or Dad traumatized you! You can’t be Christian and gay. You just need to learn to walk and talk like a real man, and then your homosexual condition will fixed.”

“And people wonder why I struggle reconciling my love for you while hearing Nicolas preach this in the Church,” I cried as streams of tears poured out of me.

“Joseph, stop trying to fix yourself and stop looking to others to fix you. Let me transform you,” Jesus affirmed to me.  He added, “None of that toxic masculinity ever came from me. I want my children to look to the Son of Man as their role model. Can I get an amen in here?”

“Amen!” I shouted while smiling.

Jesus added, “Now let the music play!” This made me laugh.

“You’re not with a man now, so you’re straight!” shouted Karen.

“No hunty, you’ve been with a man before, so you’re gay! No woman will ever take you again!” argued Charlie.

Before I had a chance to say anything, Jesus grabbed my face and stared into my eyes telling me, “I know you see beauty in my creation regardless of gender. I see you as my beloved child. It’s up to you to use your own words to describe your life.”

As I stared into my Lord’s eyes, the words of David came to me:

Psalm 139

O LORD, you have searched me and known me!

You know when I sit down and when I rise up;

you discern my thoughts from afar.

You search out my path and my lying down

and are acquainted with all my ways.

Even before a word is on my tongue,

behold, O LORD, you know it altogether.

You hem me in, behind and before,

and lay your hand upon me.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;

it is high; I cannot attain it.

Where shall I go from your Spirit?

Or where shall I flee from your presence?

If I ascend to heaven, you are there!

If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!

If I take the wings of the morning

and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,

even there your hand shall lead me,

and your right hand shall hold me.

If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me,

and the light about me be night,”

even the darkness is not dark to you;

the night is bright as the day,

for darkness is as light with you.

For you formed my inward parts;

you knitted me together in my mother's womb.

I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

Wonderful are your works;

my soul knows it very well.

My frame was not hidden from you,

when I was being made in secret,

intricately woven in the depths of the earth.

Your eyes saw my unformed substance;

in your book were written, every one of them,

the days that were formed for me,

when as yet there was none of them.

How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!

How vast is the sum of them!

If I would count them, they are more than the sand.

I awake, and I am still with you.

As I pointed to my accusers around me, I continued:

Oh that you would slay the wicked, O God!

O men of blood, depart from me!

They speak against you with malicious intent;

your enemies take your name in vain.

Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD?

And do I not loathe those who rise up against you?

I hate them with complete hatred;

I count them my enemies.

Search me, O God, and know my heart!

Try me and know my thoughts!

And see if there be any grievous way in me,

and lead me in the way everlasting!

Smiling, Jesus grabbed my face and proclaimed to me:

John 15:1-14

I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit. Already you are clean because of the word that I have spoken to you. Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branch. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not abide in me he is thrown away like a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned. If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciple. As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father's commandments and abide in his love. These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full. This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friend if you do what I command you.

I replied, “Lord, I am one of your branches… but these accusations are preventing me from bearing fruit.”

Jesus asked me, “well, do you want to bear fruit?”

“Yes!” I exclaimed!

“Then to hell with these lies,” Jesus replied, as he pulled out a pair of pruning shears. Suddenly my eyes were opened to each of the parasitic vines attaching me to my accusers. Jesus grabbed the shears, and proceeded to to cut each and every lie growing off me.

We then returned to our slow dance. 

“Wow, I guess I was getting tripped up in those vines,” I told Jesus. “Suddenly I can dance a whole lot better. I got the moves like J… ESUS!”

Jesus laughed, then kissed me on my cheek. “I love you Joseph. Now look in my eyes.”

As I stared into Jesus’ eyes, the world around me became intensely hot and blindingly bright. Where I stood, I was comfortably warm, while the discarded vines around me instantly were incinerated. The light surrounding us was so bright that the only thing I could focus my eyes on was Jesus. 

While everything was burning around us, neither his nor my hair were singed, nor were our clothes harmed. I placed my head on Jesus’ shoulder while closing my eyes. I took a deep breath and noticed that while my clothes still smelled like Downy Unstoppables, Jesus had a divine scent finer than the costliest perfumes. His arms wrapped around me were so comforting. I could feel my heartbeat against his.

Then the lyrics of the song of our slow dance came to my lips:

I'm Listening - Chris McClarney

When You speak, confusion fades

Just a word and suddenly I'm not afraid

'Cause You speak and freedom reigns

There is hope in every single word You say

I don't wanna miss one word You speak

'Cause everything You say is life to me

I don't wanna miss one word You speak

Quiet my heart, I'm listening

When sorrows roar and troubles rage

You whisper peace when I don't have the words to say

I won't lose hope when storms won't break

You keep Your word, oh and Your promises will keep me safe

I don't wanna miss one word You speak

'Cause everything You say is life to me

I don't wanna miss one word You speak

So quiet my heart, I'm listening

Your ways are higher

You know just what I need

I trust You, Jesus

You see what I cannot see

Your ways are higher

You know just what I need

I trust You, Jesus

You see what I cannot see

Your ways are higher

You know just what I need

I trust You, Jesus

You see what I cannot see

Your ways are higher

You know just what I need

I trust You, Jesus

You see what I cannot see

I don't wanna miss one word You speak

'Cause everything You say is life to me

I don't wanna miss one word You speak

So quiet my heart, I'm listening

I don't wanna miss one word You speak

'Cause everything You say is life to me

I don't wanna miss one word You speak

So quiet my heart, I'm listening

I don't wanna miss one word You speak

'Cause everything You say is life to me

I don't wanna miss one word You speak

So quiet my heart, I'm listening

Jesus whispered in my ear,

“The end of the matter; all has been heard. Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man.” Ecclesiastes 12:13

As the Raven perched on a branch called out to me, I opened my eyes. I noticed that I was standing alone in the same spot, except that it was no longer night time. The sun was just coming over the mountain as the dew on the greenery around me dazzled like jewels.

I lifted my eyes up to the mountain, and shouted my own prayer to the Lord as the Raven took off and soared above me:

“I am alive; God dwells within me. Praise the Lord, oh my soul. Lord, I’m still confused and hurt about so many things, but I trust you that you’re in control. I will continue to ask you why things happen. Thank you for walking alongside me and never abandoning me. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for allowing my brothers and sisters to be the hands and feet of your love for me. Thank you for showing me how you can beautifully fix something broken. Thank you for giving me signs to remind me where to go. I can do all things when you give me the strength to do them. You are my reason for living.”

In the light of day, I could now see the path that lay ahead of me. As I paused to turn back to look at the spot where I had just been slow dancing with Jesus, I turned back to take my first step on this path, while I Am Loved began to play.

I Am Loved - Mack Brock

Just as I am

You welcome me

With open arms

How can this be

My guilt is undone

My past is untethered

I leave it behind

And run to my Father

There is no disappointment in Your eyes

There is no shame there is only pride

I am loved

Father, I'm loved by You

So unreserved

Your heart for me

My fear is gone

I am set free

There's nothing to hide

There's nothing to measure

'Cause I am Your child

And that's all that matters

There is no disappointment in Your eyes

There is no shame there is only pride

I am loved

Father, I'm loved by You

There is no distance in Your embrace

Over and over again You say

I am loved

Father, I'm loved by You

I am loved

Father, I'm loved by You

You are changing everything

You are changing everything

I believe it

I receive it

You are changing everything

You are changing everything

You are changing everything

I believe it

I receive it

You are changing everything

You are changing everything

You are changing everything

I believe it

I receive it

You are changing everything

I believe it

I receive it

You are changing everything

Oh, You are

Oh

There is no disappointment in Your eyes

There is no shame there is only pride

I am loved

Father, I'm loved by You

There is no distance in Your embrace

Over and over again You say

I am loved

Father, I'm loved by You

I am loved

Father, I'm loved by You

I am loved

Father, I'm loved by You

I'm loved by You

I am loved, I am loved, I am loved

I am loved by You

I am loved, I am loved, I am loved

I am loved, I am loved by You

I am loved, I am loved, I am loved

I am loved, I am loved by You

I am loved, I am loved, I am loved

I'm loved by You

I am loved by You

[banghyung]

red looks good on you

word count - 1k

warnings - uh,,,, none i think

member - optional bias

a/n - as my “im back” present, and in celebration of reaching 666 followers while i was on my hiatus, here is this short fic! It’s optional bias, although i did originally have the idea with skz hyunjin in mind. I wouldn’t mind writing a part 2 to this if enough people want one! 

You weren’t sure what had led you to this point. The entirety of your life you had been told the same words - “No wandering off on your own. Don’t talk to strange men, especially at night. Always walk on busy roads if you have to be alone. Don’t give anyone the chance to hurt or take advantage of you.” Obviously, you had always been a good listener. Which is why you were now staring at the strange man 50 feet away from you. On the other side of the abandoned, barely lit street. In the dark. 

You could barely make out his features, but you were sure that the smirk adorning his face would visit you in your dreams. You had no idea how right you were.

It couldn’t have been longer than a minute that you stood there, staring. You probably could’ve been there for longer, but a car honk tore your attention away for only a second and when you looked back - he was gone. 

You must’ve been drugged or something, that would be the only thing that makes sense. How can a man just - disappear? Your thoughts were so consumed with the raw sense of disbelief over the whole situation that for days on end he was all you could think about. Who was he? Where was he? Why did you have a strange burning desire to see him again?

Your thoughts were still full of him days later as you prepared yourself to sleep, settling beside your bed as you begun your nightly prayer. 

“Our father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven-”

“What good do you think that will do?”

You jumped up from your position, spinning to face the silhouette sitting leisurely on your windowsill. 

“Who are you? What are you doing here? I’m going to call the police-”

“Oh, please. If you were going to call the police you would have done so already, rather than telling me that you’ll do it. As for the other questions, something tells me you already know.” He lowered his feet to the floor, raising himself up as if it was his own home. 

After a second, you realized why you felt a strange sense of familiarity. “You’re the man that I saw the other night.”

“And you’re not quite as stupid as you like to make yourself believe.”

“What are you doing here? How did you get in here?”

He began to walk around your room casually, picking up and studying random objects from different shelves and surfaces.  “Your locks are all extremely fickle, you really should get them all changed before someone dangerous gets in.”

“And how do I know that you’re not someone dangerous?”

“Well, if I was I’m sure the atmosphere would be much different than it is now.” He threw a smirk over his shoulder, and you sighed in exhaustion. Sitting down on the edge of your bed, you fix your eyes on his back as he continues to sift through your belongings, not finding the energy to ask him to stop.

“For the last time, what are you doing here? And don’t try to avoid answering this time.”

The man turns towards you, leaning against the wall directly across from your bed.

“Why do you keep thinking about me,” he asks.

“I asked you- wait, what?”

“You heard me, you’ve been thinking about me constantly. Why?”

“I-” you shifted in your seat, suddenly feeling as though you’d been caught doing something you shouldn’t have. “I don’t know.”

“The easy answer, I should’ve expected it. Well, I can tell that you’ve had a long day, so I probably should get going, and you should get some sleep.”

“Wait, what are you-”

“I’ll see you again, but until then, think about your answer.”

--

It was months before you saw him again, and by then you had almost fully convinced yourself that he was the product of an extremely lucid dream. Almost.

You were so close to convincing yourself that you almost didn’t notice him as you walked by. Almost. 

“Have you figured it out yet?” It was the voice that stopped you dead in your tracks as it stirred the memories you thought were fake. You moved slowly as you turned toward the man standing behind you. You took a step backwards as you realized how close he was. 

“W-what?”

He stepped towards you. “Your answer. Have you figured it out yet?”

You continued your game of back and forth, until you felt the hard wall of a building press against your back. The man laughed lightly at the innocence of the act before stepping towards you again. He placed his hand on the wall next to your head, leaning in close to you. “Do I need to repeat myself?”

“May-maybe,” you admitted, not being able to remember anything before a few seconds ago. 

He leaned closer to you, his face mere inches in front of your own, and it was in that moment that you finally realized you could see him. He was real, not part of your imagination, not some strange, handsome stranger you had dreamed up because you were lonely. He was real. And he was breathtaking.

You heard footsteps approaching, and both of you looked in the direction of the sound.

“Let’s go somewhere more private, hm?” And suddenly, where there had once been open sky and alleyways, there was your room. 

You jumped away from the man, suddenly filled with dread. “Who are you? What are you? How did we get here?” You rapidly fired off questions, trying to understand the situation. “I must have blacked out and you carried me home. That’s the only thing that makes sense.”

“Oh, of course. That’s the only logical solution,” the man chimed in.

“What the fuck are you?” You grabbed the lamp off of your desk in a weak attempt at making yourself look intimidating, but you only conjured a laugh from your company. 

“Do you want the good or the bad answer?”

You paused. You weren’t expecting any hint of an answer at all. “Good answer.”

“I’m your guardian angel.” 

You lowered the lamp, confused. “What’s the bad answer?”

“My name,” he paused, looking deep into your eyes, “is Lucifer.”

[neonnhoney-rec]

Kim Seokjin

Here are a few jin recs, most of them I've read and love, some are in my TBR. Tbh most of them are smut, but some are fluff and angst mostly angst. I will keep updating this woop woop.

I hope you enjoy tehee!

urs- @floralseokjin

first time with jin

seokjin’s been dreaming of this moment for so long… 

what 2 do- @floralseokjin

what happens when the college roommate you thought was definitely going to be girl turns out to be the most gorgeous guy you’ve ever encountered in all your years of life? It’s a stupid misunderstanding on your part, but maybe, just maybe, it won’t be so bad after all…

corrupting oppa- @tayegi

you find out jin’s a virgin after watching a sex scene, and you’re about to change that

the pretending- @tayegi

jin’s in heat and he wants you to give a helping hand

a helping hand- @jjungkookislife

two old friends at a party, drunk, only one thing can happen really, let’s be honest

teach me- @kingsuckjin

Your reputation was no secret in school even before you hit eighteen and nineteen. You were trouble and everyone knew it, you weren’t about to ease up with the final few months left either, you were going to go full force. You wanted one good last big stunt to pull before the end of the year, your last year. Only one thing could top the things you’ve done, you were going to have sex with the hottest teacher in your school.

burden- @neonlights92

After the death of his wife during childbirth Kim Seokjin is unable to hold his baby daughter without grief taking control. Just three weeks after the love of his life is taken from him so suddenly, Jin is expected to marry somebody new.

You are foolish and have spent your whole life pining after Kim Seokjin from afar, even after he marries your best friend, Seul.  But suddenly Seul is gone and you are expected to marry Jin and raise his child. You know your heart is already in it, but what about his?

I though I was alone @aroseforyoongi

On the day your boyfriend cheats on you, Seokjin is there to provide comfort and some greatly needed affection. He is the perfect roommate and friend. Always patient and willing to lend an ear. It is then, when you’re with him, that you realize that maybe you want more

slayer: only human- @gimmeyoon

Being the Slayer is not how you imagined spending your life, let alone your first year in college. You try to keep it together, but when an empath demon rolls into town you can’t help but vent to him. Now he knows exactly what makes the Slayer tick.

my last- @imsarabum

Jin smut where it’s your first time and they’re loving to you and you had doubts and you were nervous

club zombie- @floralseokjin

In a world overrun by zombies, you’d think everyone was a goner, but the reality is much different. A steady diet of brains lets a zombie exist as a fully functioning human. Just ignore the part where they’re technically dead… In fact, these days, the amount of zombies outweigh the humans. A lot jump at the chance to be turned. Beg for it. 

Kim Seokjin controls the underground of Seoul. No one would dare cross him. That’s how most of the world goes these days. You wouldn’t want to get on the wrong side of a zombie now, would you? However, you don’t quite see it like that. Spending most nights dancing at the club he owns, you catch his eye. It’s never the wrong side if you’re underneath him, right…?

insatiable- @heartbeatan

The mortal man with a broken heart and confidence. You, a succubus, donned with the task of restoring both.

the medical man- @call-me-bha

It was no surprise to anyone who knew Dr. Kim that he was the fantasy of many women, even the ones who weren’t his patients. His talents were known all across the city and you were no exception to the list of “fans” he had

a little slice of heaven- @alittlesugaorspice

You have been out of a job for a while until an ad caught your eye in the paper. After that, everything had quickly changed with the addition of a handsome CEO and six, quirky, kids in your life

roomie- @hobibliophile

When you first moved in with Jin, you thought you had hit the roommate jackpot. Turns out, living in the same apartment with this gorgeous man is a lot harder than you thought it’d be. He didn’t do anything wrong, and neither did you. It’s just this pesky thing called sexual tension.

base to base- @randombtsprincessa

You reminisce about your relationship with your boyfriend over the course of four bases.

hazy- @yoonia

Jin + “You have no idea what you have gotten yourself into.”+ Pub au

peach parfait- @jamaisjoons

you and seokjin have always been at odds as the top two chefs at big hit academy of culinary arts. enemies to lovers au

the stranger @btssmutgalore

When your plane hits turbulence, you start panicking and tell some of your biggest secrets to the attractive stranger sitting next to you.

washing machine- @btssmutgalore

Jin shows you another way to use the old washing machine.

off limits @floralseokjin

you’ve been lusting after your brother’s best friend for a while now, ever since you met him at a house party, flirting it up a storm as you failed to realise who the other was. That was months ago now and things are still awkward, but you can’t ignore the sexual tension that’s simmers between the two of you…and it keeps getting worse…

father of six (wolf pups that is)- @army-author

There are rumours going around our school about a pack of werewolves that live close by. Of course, I don’t believe it, but you have been acting kind of weird lately…

currents- @yeoldontknow

Jin thinks he’s loved you since the moment he saw you, back when you were teenagers; Jin knows he’s been in love with you, the soul burning kind of love, since he saw you on your wedding day. He doesn’t mind that you don’t reciprocate on his level, he’s just happy to show you he cares. Until one day, he simply can’t anymore. Until one day, you realize you need to show him you care, too.

petals- @bloomsuga

After a tense conversation the previous day leaves you unsure of your relationship status, your boyfriend, flower shop owner and single dad, Kim Seokjin, finds an unprecedented way to make it up to you…

sharing is caring- @littlemisskookie

Jin graciously decides to loan you to handsome Park Jimin for the night.

perfect- @btssmutgalore

Your roommate seems to have it all - great grades, amazing friends, good job, beautiful girlfriend. However, after a bad breakup and a long recovery, you realize there’s one thing he’s missing

lovely little mess- @guksheart

telling seokjin of your pregnancy should not be so daunting, but you keep it hidden from him as long as you can—at least until you are sitting with him in a bathtub and the secret comes spilling out. (expecting parents au)

London calling- @talie98

Camera operator Rory James thinks she is going to another filmmaking conference. Everything changes when she gets on the same plane with Kim Seok-jin. 

daydream- @dom-joonie

Your literature professor has a bit of a…gift. A gift that let’s him see other peoples thoughts when he wants to. And despite the fact that he warns his class openly about this gift, one day you forget, and find yourself in a bit of pickle when Kim Seokjin reads your mind, and finds you imagining some not so school appropriate scenarios…involving him.

sexploration- a little tied- @joopiterjoon

sub jin get’s a little tied up

a kiss of marble- @jinpire (kimtrain ao3)

His gaze trails down your nose and lingers on your lips, before falling to the curve of your neck and the tiny bend of your shoulder visible above your t-shirt, the attention so acute and suggestive that it feels like a tangible brush on your skin. “Hmm… I’ve got a few ideas.” [Vampire!Seokjin, donor! reader]

lost control- @floralseokjin

you’ve always wondered what it would feel like to take control in the bedroom for once and Seokjin’s more than happy to let you do as you please…

sunrise- @ironicarmy

During the trip to his parent’s lakehouse, you and Jin decide it is now the perfect time to Marvin Gaye, after years of waiting for the right moment. However, with your friends tagging along and their own emotional baggage to deal with, having the perfect night is proving to be a challenge. So, will you, or won’t you?

dear ophilia- @noir0neko

The most dangerous people can be the most exciting…(bit dark, just a warning)

the devil wears armani- @floralseokjin

You never imagined accidentally attempting to sell your soul to the devil would lead to this…

float like a butterfly swim like a fish- @bangtaninink

pool sex with college senior and captain of the swim team jin

burgers, fries, and some ice- @moononthejoon 

saying i love you to someone for the first time should not be in a diner in the middle of nowhere, but things never go the way you want them to be

definitely you- @moononthejoon

money can buy you everything, well, not everything, it can’t buy love. seokjin had found that out and now he remained wifeless. little did he know he would find love where he least expected it.

bite!- @nottojay

Jin’s calm and collected; you’re anything but. Jin’s got fangs and super strength, and you can put up with Taehyung and Jimin’s antics.

just a coffee- @mind-of-a-hardstan

Jin comes back to visit a few months after he moved away to study. You invite him over for coffee and naturally you end up talking for hours. And then you end up in his lap… 

the green light- @nottojay

Seokjin has the looks. He has the money. He has the success. He has the friends. He has it all. Well, all except you. The light at the end of the dock.

before the after- @ddaengyoonmin

The end of the world kinda happens

“I wouldn’t fuck you if you were the last man on earth”

first time with jin- @inkjam-moon

reader’s first time

carnival rides- @geniuslab

Working at your parents’ funnel cake stand during the summer sounds like a decent enough gig. But you didn’t quite plan for the exhausting heat or the cute gelato guy who would make it his mission to get you to like him. Warning: This ride will get you wet!

sleeping with a friend- @underthejoon

friends to loves, a classic

big dick, big heart- @floralseokjin

your new boyfriend has a really big dick

guarded- @kpopfanfictrash

 “Was that supposed to be a wink, or did you blink at different times on purpose?”- life guard au

under the coven’s protection- @army-author

I’m a vampire, and you’re a human who’s prone to getting hurt. Please take better care of yourself, or I might not be able to control myself!

bound for life- @versigny

ummm pegging? 

best friend- @littlemeowmeowschimmy

Being away from your best friend for years suddenly sparks some sexual tension which both of you don’t have a problem releasing 

dimple- @floralseokjin

What’s the rule again? How many dates does it take for you have sex with a guy? Three? Five? Ten?! What if all this waiting and you can’t remember how to do it? It’s been so long since the last time you swear you’ve forgotten! You’re desperate, and that’s how you end up asking your roommate for help. Only trouble is, you get much more than you bargained for…

enraptured love- @kookscrescent

You are still in the beginning stages of your relationship. Still learning about each other, and both enjoying taking things slow, but at this stage you are both more than ready to take things a step further. 

rock hard- @jiminspjm 

“recreational activities make me hard” - rock climbing au

the man in the pink cape- @randombtsprincessa

You reminisce about your relationship with your boyfriend over the course of four bases.

love bite- @taetaesbaebaepsae

Seokjin knows he’s handsome, but he can’t shake the feeling that maybe you want him for something other than his good looks…

serendipity- @iq-biased

A string of events after a one night stand have you getting closer to a single dad than you’d initially intended.

(s)ex calling- @mintedmango

Your life was in shambles. No job, no money for your next semester in college and your roommate won’t let you mooch off of him again… What are you supposed to do when you see an ad for the HOTLINE app? Turn down easy money? This summer was going to be one you never forget!

softy- @gukptune

a freshman and senior seemingly despise each other, one says the other acts older than they are and one says the other acts like a child, a feud brewing within the estranged pair

golden boy- @kpopfanfictrash 

The golden boy of the porn industry, prettier than half his female co-stars. Will sue if you pull his hair. Always bothering his neighbors with pizza delivery.

amaranthine- @versigny

vamp Jin Drabble

the stalk- @versigny

single mum reader

Piece by piece- @underthejoon​

a collection of drabbles where your love life is muddied up by two men – the one you love and the one that loves you.

[pengiesama]

The Fox Groom (Fic, TGCF, HC/XL)

Title: The Fox Groom Series: Heavenly Official’s Blessing (Tian Guan Ci Fu) Pairing: Hua Cheng/Xie Lian

Summary:

Once upon a time, a brave and compassionate prince saved the life of an injured, starving fox.

Once upon a time, a fox fell in love with a human.

Once upon a time, a fox made a wish: a wish for a human form, to serve the prince, and stay by his side. But, like all things, that wish came with a price.

The story of a prince-turned-penniless cultivator, and a fox-turned-human, incapable of saying the words he wants to the most.

Notes:

Written for the MXTX Reverse Big Bang 2019! @mxtxbigbang

I partnered up with the wonderful Blu (@bluestrawberrypaint / shibe_sann (Twitter)), who provided the writing prompt as well as beautiful art for the fic! See their finished art piece here. I'm honored to be allowed to write their idea into reality.

Link: AO3

Read on Tumblr!

Xian Le was a glorious kingdom, and was renowned far and wide for its splendor. This notoriety was well-earned: it was, after all, very glorious, very splendid, and very, very wealthy. However, to maintain such an envious reputation, there was a certain necessity for loud and ostentatious displays of its attributes.

Its gilded palaces and jeweled temples were as numerous as flowers, and equally as beautiful. Its music and poetry and plays were known even across the seas. There was always an occasion for a festival, a parade, a feast at the palace with only the most elite of attendees. An envious reputation was best cultivated through a perfect balance of gratuitous showboating and exclusivity. Look, look all upon us – look upon us, and know the glory that you dare not touch.

The event that best encapsulated this mindset was the annual Imperial Hunt.

The Xian Le imperial hunt; a glorious and storied tradition, where the royal family and nobility valiantly set out into the wilderness to vanquish evil with nothing but the swords on their hip, the arrows on their backs, and hundreds of personal assistants to keep them in the comfort they expected. They were of course also accompanied by fleets of elite soldiers, who did the lion’s share of the work in scouting out and chasing down prey.

It would not do for the Xian Le nobility to be thought of as the idle rich – well, not entirely. While few of the nobles looked forward to leaving the comforts of the imperial city, the idea of not attending – worse, not being invited – was simply scandalous. And so, most were content to spend their week in the autumn wilderness in spacious and well-outfitted silken tents, sipping tea and writing guqin compositions on topic of the red maple leaves, while the busy work was taken care of by the staff.

…most were content.

“Your highness! Please, wait!”

Xie Lian had never listened to his bodyguards before, and was not about to start now – especially when his target was almost within his grasp.

Said target was a spider-legged demon the size of a draft horse. The eight sharp, jointed legs supported a massive round body, covered entirely in long, coarse black hair. Unlike the noble arachnid it had crudely copied its shape from, it sported only a single pair of eyes and a grinning, toothy mouth; both too large, and too human-like. It was a fearful sight to behold. It had terrorized nearby villages for months, and had effortlessly taken down troops of soldiers and cultivators sent to neutralize it. It was powerful, and terrifying, and was fleeing for its life from Xie Lian’s relentless pursuit.

Xie Lian was the crown prince of Xian Le; the only son, an only child, the one and only darling of the heavens themselves. His martial talents were known far and wide – he was as unparalleled in the sword as he was with the spear, with the bow, with the staff, with nothing but his fists and feet. His mind was as sharp as the blades he wielded, and his sense of justice was as sturdy as the earth beneath his nimble feet. Or – being that he was currently freefalling through the air – at least as sturdy as the impact of his foot colliding with the thorax of the demon spider, sending the awful beast tumbling down from the tree trunk it had been previously scaling.

It landed hard on the forest floor; flipped on its back like a turtle. It let loose an awful croaking noise as it flailed its legs, trying and failing to right itself. It was too little, too late. A flash of sunlight in the tree canopy heralded Xie Lian’s descent, as if he was a bolt of divine lightning. He leapt from the highest branch, sword drawn, aiming straight for the wretched beast’s exposed underbelly.

It was mercifully quick. The demon spider croaked out its death rattle, and its legs twitched spasmodically for a few seconds before they stiffened and went motionless.

Xie Lian withdrew his sword, and pulled a paper talisman from his sleeves. He attached the talisman to the beast’s corpse, and murmured a quick incantation. The talisman erupted into white flames, and rapidly started to spread across the beast’s body; purifying its remains to ensure none of the corruption roiling within it would spread and reform itself into something equally vile.

“Your highness! For heaven’s sake…”

Xie Lian smiled at his bodyguards as they approached. “Sorry, Feng Xin. If you and Mu Qing keep squabbling over whose turn it is every time we spot a target, you can’t blame me for taking matters into my own hands.”

Mu Qing clicked his tongue irritably. “It was my turn, for the record.”

Feng Xin shoved him. Mu Qing punched him in the jaw. Within seconds, they were rolling around on the forest floor, kicking and slapping each other; lit by the setting sun and the gentle glow of the burning spider monster corpse. Xie Lian shook his head and took out a handkerchief to clean the blood from his sword.

Most Xian Le nobles were content to allow the soldiers to capture and beat targets into submission; once subdued, the killing blow would be delivered by whatever noble liege the troop was assigned to. This would ensure the points for the kill were properly granted to their rightful recipient – tallies were carefully tracked by enchanted jade bracelets attached to every participant, and were quite serious business indeed. As crown prince, Xie Lian was of course entitled to a first-place finish; however, he was quite determined to earn this placement legitimately instead of relying on his bodyguards’ undeniable talents…

…and this, unfortunately, had the side effect of giving his bodyguards more free time to fight with each other. (Although they seemed to always make time for it regardless of the situation.)

“We only have an hour’s worth of daylight left,” Xie Lian stated. He stuck his empty sword sheath between Feng Xin and Mu Qing, trying to separate them as one would two fighting cats with a broomstick. “Then we’ll need to be more on guard. I’d like to keep our lead and not be stuck playing catchup tomorrow.”

Finally, Xie Lian managed to pry the two of them apart. Grumbling, they stood up, dusting themselves off and rubbing their sore jaws and shoulders.

“With all due respect, His Highness’ lead is such that it would take more than a single idle night for others to catch up,” Feng Xin said.

“We could very well spend the rest of this joke of an expedition drinking ourselves to death in a ditch and still comfortably hold the top placement,” Mu Qing added, with no small amount of disdain. “Even with an entire damn fleet of soldiers doing all the work for them, these nobles still manage to be useless leeches.”

“A harsh statement,” Xie Lian chided. “An insult to the hardworking leeches in the medical field.”

A horrible shriek rang out through the trees.

“From the southeast,” Feng Xin stated with confidence.

“Southwest,” Mu Qing corrected.

“Split the difference,” Xie Lian confidently declared; setting southward before Feng Xin and Mu Qing started brawling again.

It wasn’t hard to find their target – its continued shrieking and cursing were like a guiding beacon. Initially, the noise sounded inhuman enough for Xie Lian to assume they would be closing in on another demon target. However, as they got closer, it was clear they were dealing with something a little more…familiar, but no less foul.

“FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING RANCID MANGY SHIT I’LL FUCKING SKIN YOU WHILE YOU’RE STILL ALIVE AND FUCKING CRUSH THAT FUCKING SKULL AND—”

“Qi Rong!” Xie Lian barked. “Where is your entourage?”

Qi Rong was madly chopping at the base of a tree, wielding his gilded sword like a woodsman’s axe. Having finally turned fifteen, he’d begged and screamed and demanded to accompany his much-adored cousin Xie Lian on the Imperial Hunt this year, which was an outing that required a sword on one’s person. Reluctantly, Xie Lian’s father had bestowed upon him a fine golden blade, with the strict guidelines that he was not to wield it against anything but the beasts of the hunt, and that he would not leave the accompaniment of the soldiers assigned to protect him. These guidelines went out the window the moment Qi Rong had the sword in hand, and within half a day he was swaggering through the palace halls like an accomplished general, terrorizing servants and wielding the sword against rogue porcelain vases with all the finesse of a child with a stick.

Xie Lian had put a stop to his nonsense, but his father seemed to have no interest in disciplining Qi Rong further, or revoking the privilege of attending the hunt. His royal status gave him a right to attend regardless, he’d said, but the truth of the matter was that he simply did not feel it was worth the effort to bother. The tantrum at having his much-desired invitation snatched away would have resulted in far more than just a few shattered vases.

Xie Lian strode, chin high, to interrupt Qi Rong’s assault on the tree’s roots. He snatched the blade between two fingers as Qi Rong raised it once more, and effortlessly yanked it out of his cousin’s grip. He tossed the gaudy golden thing behind him, hearing it stick into the ground well out of reach. Qi Rong sputtered in wordless rage.

“Explain yourself,” Xie Lian said.

Qi Rong tried to dart away to reclaim his sword, but a battle against Xie Lian’s reflexes was destined to failure. Xie Lian grabbed him by the back of his robes and held him in place.

“Ow ow ow ow! Cousin crown prince!” Qi Rong wailed. “I wanted to hunt monsters too!! Those stupid meatheads just wanted to march around and shoot arrows at targets, and they wouldn’t even let me do anything when we did find a monster! I could’ve did it like you and chopped off its legs, then gone in and start stabbing right into its vital points—”

Qi Rong had never been trained with a sword for the same reason one would not strap knives to the limbs of a rabid beast. (Even if he had been given training, he surely would have skipped all his lessons like he did with every other topic.) The idea of him being able to emulate Xie Lian’s feats was laughable.

“And this explains why you’re here, chopping firewood?” Xie Lian interrupted him before he could go on with his violent fantasies any longer.

Qi Rong made a noise like a hot tea kettle, and he pointed accusingly at a little recess underneath the tree’s roots. It was small, too small for anything larger than a small animal to hide – all the beasts and monsters and demons gathered for the Imperial Hunt were chosen for their massive size. It was, after all, much more exciting to fell a giant creature, and made for more impressive trophies and commemorative prints after the fact.

“That thing was stealing our rations!” Qi Rong hissed. “I kicked it away and it made this awful fucking noise, like some screaming woman, so I know it’s not really what it looks like, so I ran after it and it fucking hid down there before I could kill it…”

Xie Lian gestured, and Feng Xin and Mu Qing came over to supervise Qi Rong while Xie Lian investigated. He knelt to the forest floor, his heavy silk robes spreading around him like a flower; white and red and gold. The sun was setting behind him, bathing him in a heavenly glow. He peered into the little root hideaway, and saw the “monster”: a small, injured, terrified little fox. Wholly ordinary, wholly innocent. Its great dark eye focused on Xie Lian’s face; intense and unblinking, despite the halo of the sun surrounding him.

“It’s alright,” Xie Lian said softly. “You’re safe now.”

He extended a hand to the poor creature, trying to beckon it out. Xie Lian, for all his martial prowess, was a spoiled prince who lived in a golden palace – even if this wasn’t some dangerous monster as his cousin insisted, Xie Lian was heedless of the danger of trying to befriend a wounded wild animal. All he knew was simple compassion for an innocent creature in desperate need of kindness.

“Cousin crown prince!” howled Qi Rong. “Don’t! It’s a fucking monster, it bit the shit out of my hands and kept screaming like some bitch getting slapped around—”

“It’s a fox,” Xie Lian shot back. “And what did you expect him to do when you were trying to kill him?”

Xie Lian felt a tiny exhale of breath against his hand, and looked back to see that the fox had crept forward from its hiding place to delicately sniff Xie Lian’s hand. Xie Lian’s heart sank as he took in the poor thing’s condition. It was small, so small that it couldn’t yet be fully grown, and so emaciated that Xie Lian could clearly count its ribs through its filthy matted coat. Blood, both fresh and long-dried, was caked on its fur. A deep cut over its right eye had left the organ so damaged that it was wholly red and almost certainly blind. It clearly had been on its own for some time, with no mother to help it hunt, or keep its fur tidy, or defend it against those who meant it harm.

As far as Xie Lian was concerned, there was only one course of action.

“We’re going back to my tent,” Xie Lian declared. “Mu Qing, please run ahead and tell the royal physicians to draw a medicinal bath and bring supplies. Have the chefs bring in some meat and milk as well. Oh, and get some fresh linens to make bedding with.”

Mu Qing stared. “…it’s a fox.”

“It’s a fucking monster!” Qi Rong hysterically insisted.

“I don’t like repeating myself,” Xie Lian said firmly. “Feng Xin, accompany Qi Rong back to his entourage. I’ll need to rush back to the tent to get him treated once I coax him out.”

“…it’s a fox…” Feng Xin echoed, helplessly, but he’d known Xie Lian long enough to understand when his mind was made up.

With his two bodyguards (and screaming cousin) now gone, Xie Lian was able to devote his full attention to the little creature cowering under the tree’s roots. The fox was still staring at Xie Lian; staring and staring, trembling in every limb, ears plastered back. But not growling, not showing its teeth. That was a good start. Belatedly, Xie Lian remembered the satchel of rations tucked into his sash – dried meat, good for long-lasting energy while on the hunt for creatures of darkness. Xie Lian peeled off a bit of it, and offered it to the little fox.

“Here,” Xie Lian said softly. He took a bite of the portion in his other hand to demonstrate. “Passable as far as camping food goes.”

Hunger was a powerful motivator. The fox inched forward, on trembling limbs, to investigate. It became clear that the fox’s fear wasn’t the only thing slowing its step – from the way it held the limb up, limping along, one of its back legs was clearly badly injured. Broken, perhaps. The creature was battered and trampled all over, with injuries both old and new. Qi Rong could hardly be blamed for all of it. Or even most of it.

Little fox, all alone in the world. Xie Lian’s heart ached.

“I’m sorry. I doubt this foolish hunt of ours has made your life any easier, lately,” Xie Lian said.

It doesn’t look like your life is easy in general, he added silently. It was not something that he saw fit to voice – this creature needed his action, and his compassion, not his pity.

…Even if the fox surely couldn’t understand a word he was saying, regardless…

He gave the fox another strip of meat to eat. The fox swallowed it down, hardly chewing; driven by urgency to get something in its empty stomach.

“I’d like to take you back to my tent,” Xie Lian said. “We have food, and a warm and safe place for you to spend the night. The monsters always more active during the night…”

…as if the fox wasn’t already well aware. Those recent injuries had to have come from something, and it wasn’t all Qi Rong. Xie Lian felt a twinge of guilt. He always thought of the Imperial Hunt as a frivolous waste of time, simply another kind of social gathering for idle nobles, a way for the Xian Le military to showcase its might…but he’d also thought that the only things getting hurt were the monsters the military rounded up into the hunting grounds. It was so unfair, that this little fox – already struggling to survive – had to suffer all the more just so a bunch of nobles could have a pointless romp in the woods. Xie Lian wanted to do what he could to make things right.

He gave the last of his rations to the fox, and, again, offered his hand to sniff. Slowly, hesitantly, as if expecting to be struck at any moment, the fox leaned its little head into Xie Lian’s palm. Its eyes slid shut, and it let out a small breath before going completely still. Xie Lian almost panicked – the fox was in such bad shape that it wouldn’t be surprising if it had just dropped dead before his eyes – but calmed somewhat when he still saw the slow rise and fall of the fox’s chest as it breathed.

Carefully, Xie Lian moved to pick up the little creature. The fox’s eyes flew open at the feeling of Xie Lian’s gentle touch, but it made no move to run (as if it could make it very far) or bite. It simply continued to stare, eyes huge and mismatched, up at Xie Lian as he bundled the creature close to his chest. Xie Lian could feel the quick stuttering of its heart, even through his robes. Such a steady, strong heartbeat. Such a remarkable creature.

“Come on,” Xie Lian said. “Let’s head back.”

 --

 Despite his cantankerous personality, Mu Qing was as excellent a personal assistant as he was a bodyguard, so when Xie Lian entered his royal tent, he was presented with everything he’d requested: a warm bath, food, and three royal physicians who stared at him as he entered. Disbelief was plain on their faces.

“…a fox,” one finally stated.

“Yes,” Xie Lian confirmed. “I am quite sure doctors of your stature can manage to attend to him. If I’m mistaken, however, I’m quite sure there are many army physicians milling about that we could call in to consult.”

Xie Lian knew that they would not dare go against a direct order from the crown prince, but it would perhaps do some good to remind them to take their charge seriously. The physicians rose from their kneeling positions and hurried over to Xie Lian to examine their new patient. Xie Lian carefully studied their faces, looking for any sign of disdain or disgust. He would not hesitate to dismiss any of them if he needed to. This creature deserved to be treated with care and respect.

The fox eyed the doctors warily, and flinched and growled as they poked and prodded him. Xie Lian soothed him:

“It’s alright, it’s alright. Let’s get you cleaned up so they can treat you, and then we’ll have dinner…”

The fox’s eyes had slipped shut again at the sound of Xie Lian’s voice and the gentle touch of his hands, but they flew open again at the sound of fabric slipping to the floor. Xie Lian laughed.

“Don’t worry! I’m just getting undressed so I can get into the tub with you. It’ll be easier for me to wash you that way…”

The fox’s eyes nearly bugged out of his head, and it began to squirm relentlessly in Xie Lian’s arms. Xie Lian tilted his head curiously.

“…too shy?” he hazarded a guess.

The fox stopped squirming, but couldn’t quite meet Xie Lian’s gaze. Ah well, Xie Lian thought as he walked over to the tub, dressed only in his inner robes. We can do it this way then. It would be easier to do this undressed – I just so hate the feeling of wet sleeves.

After carefully lowering the fox into the warm medicinal bathwater, Xie Lian gestured to Mu Qing, who – not without sighing – came over to help tie up Xie Lian’s voluminous sleeves, baring his snowy-pale skin and firm arms. The fox, still unable to look at Xie Lian’s face, was now equally determined to not look at the arms and hands that came to card through his wet fur.

At every pass of Xie Lian’s hands, the fox flinched less and less. The blood and mud caked to his coat washed away, revealing fur of a most marvelous color – a deep reddish-gold, like the autumn forest surrounding them. One could only imagine how beautiful it would be after a few months of being fed and cared for in the palace. Although Xie Lian’s heart still ached at how thin he was – Xie Lian could distinctly feel the outline of his spine, his ribs, just as he could feel the pounding of the creature’s heart – Xie Lian was relieved to see that his injuries were not quite as bad as they’d originally looked. The medicinal water was already working to heal the fox; wounds knitting shut before his eyes, bones setting into place. The fox’s eyes stayed mismatched, but this really only added to his charm.

“There now,” Xie Lian said. “I’ll get you dried off and we’ll have something to eat.”

The fox shook out his coat, sending a shower of bathwater everywhere. Xie Lian laughed in delight, but Mu Qing wasn’t quite as entertained. With an annoyed grunt, he handled off a towel to Xie Lian’s waiting hands and stormed off to prepare bowls of food, cursing to himself all the way.

“Such a beautiful coat,” Xie Lian praised, and meant it – even though said coat was now pointing every which way, fluffing the fox out enough that he almost looked well-fed. “Like a red maple. I don’t suppose you have a name already? What do you think about ‘Red Maple’?”

The fox stared at him blankly as Xie Lian worked the towel over his fur.

“Hmm. Just ‘Red’, then? That would be more masculine-sounding, I agree…”

“Your Highness,” Mu Qing said. “A thousand apologies for interrupting your conversation with your new associate. Dinner is ready.”

Despite Mu Qing clearly not actually being sorry at all, his feelings on the situation were clear enough; he’d chopped the meat in one of the bowls into small enough pieces that they could be easily chewed, and wet it with milk to help with digestion.

“Your Highness,” Feng Xin said with despair evident in his tone. He’d returned from his harrowing quest to deliver Qi Rong to find this scene before him. “Please, I’m certain the animal can eat on its own…”

Xie Lian had Red settled on his lap, swaddled in blankets, and was hand-feeding him chunks of meat from the bowl. It brought to mind the image of a lady noble doting on a small ornamental dog. Or a mother bird feeding its young. At that thought, Feng Xin had a brief flash of terror that Xie Lian would start chewing food for the creature.

“He’s still recuperating,” Xie Lian stated, his tone brooking no argument. “Once Little Red comes back to the palace with us, he’ll have healed up enough to take his meals normally…”

To the creature’s credit, it was just as shocked at this statement as Feng Xin and Mu Qing were. Its huge eyes stared up at Xie Lian, ignoring the tempting bit of meat offered between Xie Lian’s elegant fingers.

“…back to the palace,” Feng Xin echoed. “Your Highness. With respect, a common wild animal is not a fit companion for someone of your stature…”

“My grandfather had a pet tiger,” Xie Lian said mildly, trying to get Red re-interested in his dinner. “There’s more than enough precedence.”

(As if Xie Lian actually cared about precedence, instead of doing exactly what he had decided upon already and ignoring any arguments to the contrary.)

“I’m certain your noble parents would give you a whole stable of tigers if you wished it,” Feng Xin began, with a very convincing argument on his lips.

“That’s very nice of them. Little Red has proven himself to be far stronger than a stableful of tigers, though,” Xie Lian said, cutting off that argument before it even sprang into existence.

Feng Xin’s jaw gaped, and Mu Qing rose an eyebrow – the two were actually in mutual agreement over something for once, and it was unsurprisingly on the topic of Xie Lian doing something ridiculous. Xie Lian smiled and hoisted Red up under his front legs, lifting him so they could see eye to eye.

“Surviving alone for so long in a den of monsters, armed with nothing but his wits and teeth. Truly, as powerful as any tiger I’ve seen.”

“If a fox is as powerful as a tiger, then the farmers that chase them away from their chickens must be mighty martial gods.” Mu Qing flicked his eyes to Feng Xin’s untouched dinner bowl, and scowled. “Eat before I shove your face in it. I won’t reheat it for you.”

It was rather hard indeed for anyone to tell the crown prince of Xian Le that he wasn’t allowed to do something. And so, the three of them went to bed that night fully expecting to be bringing a furry addition back to the Xie household.

It was very unexpected indeed for Xie Lian to awaken with no ball of red fluff curled against his chest. He looked, and looked; turned his whole tent and the surrounding camp upside-down, sent Feng Xin and Mu Qing and his own self searching in every direction. There was neither hide nor hair of the sweet creature that Xie Lian had sworn to protect.

As the hunt concluded that afternoon, Xie Lian left for the palace with a heavy heart. He hoped that Red would grow and thrive, wherever his paws had carried him.

 --

 The fox was just an ordinary, ugly thing. The fox was not powerful, it was not beautiful. It was a lowly scavenging beast.

But the prince had saved the fox, all the same. The prince had appeared, bathed in golden sunlight, and had treated him gently. He’d eased his pain, he’d held him close. He’d given him a name.

The fox’s heart would belong to the prince forevermore. This was simple fact. But it was true, what that other, lesser human had said. The fox was not a fit companion for the prince.

But the fox had gotten a taste of what it could feel like, if he was. And the fox was so, so greedy.

There was a legend that all foxes knew, deep in their bones. (The fox could not remember anyone having told him, anyway – he only dimly remembered a mother, and perhaps two older siblings. Long dead, in any case. He’d been alone for as long as he could recall.)

The legend was as such: journey to the realm of the Fox God, undertake their trials, and be granted an audience and a wish.

Red knew what he needed to do, if he was ever to be able to return to his prince. He would earn a place at his side. He would make himself into something worth his prince’s compassion.

And so, Red had slipped away into the night, with the cadence of his prince’s heartbeat thrumming in his bones.