#our facility manager was like 'you can have so much egg! and milk!' and i didn't want to seem to complicated so i didn't say

[tardis--dreams]

Dedicated to find some vegetarian food/snacks that are not cereal(bars) or flavored almonds!

[thecooksjournal]

For the Love of Food

So where does my love of food come from? I firmly believe that my passion for all things food related and my willingness to try almost anything stems from my childhood and my family upbringing. My much loved Nan and Grandad must take most of the credit as from a very early age I was introduced to a wide variety of home-grown and home-cooked foods. My Grandad was an avid gardener growing a whole manner of fruit and vegetables in his garden. He showed me the delights of growing runner beans, cabbage and cauliflower along with a whole range of soft fruit ranging from English plums to gooseberries. My Nan like my Grandad was old school so everything in the kitchen was made from scratch using what was grown in the garden. I can still remember watching her cook and learning how to make pastry and cakes from basic ingredients.

Some of my fondest memories as a child are of the big family meals we had at their house at 218, London Road Waterlooville (sadly now demolished). At various times during the school holidays my cousins, uncles and aunties would all come to stay. This would be a big event for me as we would have fantastic traditional roast dinners with all the trimmings and yes if you didn’t eat your vegetables you most definitely wouldn’t get any dessert! To be honest I wasn’t a fussy eater even as a kid. As I recall it was only Brussels sprouts and Stilton cheese that I could have quite happily avoided throughout those formative years. The only real problem I had at these family meals was whether I could finish my meal and get to that last roast potato before my cousin Glen, who despite being younger than me could always match me for appetite.  My much missed Mum carried on the tradition set by her parents and although home-cooking has changed a lot over the years she has always instilled the same values in me to experiment and try everything at least once.

My Mum worked as a waitress in a local café called The Black Cat Café. I can remember going to work with her on one occasion and being allowed to watch what went on in the kitchen. My clearest memory here is one of the veg prep guys giving me a raw carrot to try. I had always eaten carrots from my Grandad’s garden but cannot recall eating them raw so this was a new experience. Even now I can still taste that distinct flavour which was somewhat of an epiphany moment for me. Like eating your first oyster or you first taste of true caviar this was a profound moment for me.

Another early food memory is also somewhat unusual. My Nan and Grandad lived in a big house next to a petrol station. The station had one of the first vending machines I can remember on the forecourt next to where the air and water could be found. This particular vending machine dispensed milk shake. My particular favourite was a raspberry milk shake which became a firm favourite with me so much so that if ever I had any money this would be my first purchase. The petrol station is still there but the machine has long gone but the taste of this milk shake still lingers in my senses. Every so often if I taste very fresh raspberries I get transported back in time to this very happy period in my life.

Food always seems to give me happy memories so it is probably no surprise that I followed my nose 9and stomach) into the industry. I began my adventure by training  as a Chef at Highbury College in Cosham. At the time I started there I was a fresh faced sixteen year old. The catering facility at Highbury was only a year old and at the time regarded as one of the best places to learn the trade in the UK. I studied there for three years from 1981 to 1984 and was as proud as anything to emerge with my Diploma in Professional Cookery. If my family gave me my love of food then the lecturers and college definitely fed my addiction. It was one of the happiest times of my life and I am forever grateful to all my lecturers and fellow students who taught me so much that stood me in good stead for later life. I would heartily recommend to anyone thinking of studying catering to go ahead and do it. Even if you never cook professionally after you leave, the skills you learn there will be with you for life.

I can still remember my first day at college as one of the new influx of PCD (Professional Cookery Diploma) students. We were all resplendent in a blizzard of spotless white jackets and blue checked trousers, wearing our new uniforms with pride for the very first time. Our aprons were trailing down to the floor and our starched hats were pointing proudly to the ceiling, we really must have been quite a sight. Over the years our aprons shortened until eventually they were folded into nothing more than miniskirts that just about covered our crutches; while the starched Mohawk-like hats were replaced by neat uniform disposable paper ones. We had finally come of age and were ready to launch our talents onto an unsuspecting world. Looking back it was hard work and frightening at times but honestly worth every second and an experience I would do all over again if I had the chance. It was the days before politically correctness had reared its head so it was a harsh environment for a young teenager.

Saying that the harshness was nothing to what I found when working in a professional kitchen. For a short while I was able to work as a Commis in The Café Royal, Claridge's, Langans Brasserie and Simpson's in the Strand. Working as a Chef in London was fresh, exciting and frightening. Working as a Commis you were on of the lowest ranked employees only one up from the pot wash. You were treated with disdain and generally verbally and sometimes physically abused. Nowadays this sounds horrific but it was pretty standard at the time in the industry. London tended to amplify this somewhat but wherever you worked in the UK it was pretty much the same. This harsh treatment either broke you or made you stronger. The restaurant trade has always been pretty transient so to survive you had to be strong. As a Commis you had to prove yourself before you were let anywhere near a stove. Although I was a qualified chef I spent 6 months peeling and turning potatoes, turning mushrooms and preparing the mise en place ready for service. I can remember many occasions when my julienne of carrot or my bruinoise of vegetables was unceremoniously thrown in the bin because it was not perfect. Through sheer persistence I managed to survive and once I gained the trust of the brigade I was able to watch and learn from the more senior Chefs. As time went on I was allowed to do more and more in the kitchen until I was welcomed as one of the team. I still have very fond memories of the loud punk music played prior to service and the sense of belonging I felt as part of the team. Outside of work we played hard and in London this could be very hard but I had a lot of fun and learnt a great deal.

My experience in London was for a relatively short time but it is an experience that has left its mark on me both personally and professionally. To this day I have a strange affinity with London and simply love the old school restaurants there. My career took me back down to the South Coast and away to sea working front of house for a change before ending up as a Food Buyer procuring high end products for the cruise industry. I have never forgotten my roots and although my time in the front line was brief I still regard it as one of the best experiences of my life. I am indebted to my college lecturers who got me the placements and hopefully I have paid my dues to the industry.

At home I still cook every day and still get that same sense of enjoyment I felt at 16. I genuinely love food and will try just about anything if I feel it is something that I might enjoy. I am frequently asked what is the best meal I have ever eaten. I have been lucky enough after nearly 40 years in the industry to have eaten in a lot of top restaurants and to have had the opportunity to try a myriad of dishes across the world. I have tried many unusual dishes and as a Food Buyer had the opportunity to taste many new and innovative ingredients before they reach the trade.

It therefore can come of something of a surprise when I reveal my favourite meal is not only very simple but from a most unusual food outlet. The location was Hong Kong International Airport around 2005 in restaurant which if my memory serves me correct was situated upstairs on Level 8 of the main concourse above the various check in desks. The restaurant itself is very simple, quite large but very unassuming. It was early morning and I was catching a flight back to the UK. I was not particularly hungry so I was just looking for something light before my flight was ready to board.

I opted to go for a simple Prawn Foo Yung. The picture above is exactly what was presented to me. You cannot see it on the picture as the colours are pretty subdued but the scrambled egg was almost orange in colour. To this day it is the freshest egg I have ever eaten. For such a simple dish the flavours were exceptional and taught me that to have a great dish sometimes simplicity is really the best. As long as you use good quality ingredients less really is more. Sometimes the most complex recipes containing multiple ingredients are no better than a single ingredient prepared well.

Life can quite easily be compared to food Choose your friends and your ingredients carefully and you will find that good friends and good ingredients can give you much happiness. As a Chef I can give you no better advice than love your life and love your food.

[travelsofablonde]

It’s a Hostel World Out There

Hey guys! Sorry its’ taken so long to get another blog out. Most of the trains we’ve been on haven’t had wifi and we’ve been getting back to the dorms from our excursions late so I haven’t had much time to write at all. That being said I want to back track a bit and fill you guys in on some stuff I’ve skipped. I’m going to start with my hostel in Edinburgh :)

We stayed at The Baxter Hostel just off Princes Street (pronounced princess) and across from Waverley Train Station. 

The Baxter is located on the 2nd floor of a pub building and on the floors above it are other hostels. However they have good, thick walls so no sounds from the pub or other hostels bothered us. The boys had their own room as there weren’t very many of them but all of us girls were divided into 2 groups six. Each group of six was assigned a room with bunk beds. Each bunk had 3 beds and each bed was equipped with a light, an outlet, a shelf, and its own towel bar next to the bed on the wall. There was a single window in the room, a set of lockers on each side for our belongings and a single floor length mirror. I think my bed was pretty comfortable and I slept great as long as the window stayed open. We had to leave it open because most places in the UK don’t have central air. And honestly the weather is cool enough most of the time this isn’t a problem, and luckily no birds flew in!

Now, i wasn’t able to get a photo of the bathrooms but they were really interesting. There were 5 shower stalls and across from those were 2 sinks with enclosed toilets on either side. The toilets and the main  bathroom door had sliding doors that locked and the toilets had sinks on the back (this came in handy). Since the bathrooms were essentially co-ed, us girls usually used the toilet rooms to change every morning and night and after a shower.  

The shower stalls themselves were a bit of a challenge. On the outside were two green doors that locked in the middle and at the top (from the inside) and each had a hook on it for clothes or towels or whatever. Next (moving inward from the green doors) was a folding/sliding glass door. This separated the actual shower portion from the green doors. Inside the stall itself the shower hung from the wall like an upside down L. There was a white handled knob to turn the shower on and it revolved around the temperature knob which was shaped like the helm of a ship (steering wheel). The problem was, depending on which stall you were in, you wouldn’t know which direction to turn this helm shaped knob to get hot or cold water. This is why I always used stall #3, because I had it down to a science! So this is where it gets fun (not). When you were ready to shower the best way we thought to do it was as follows:

1. Reach in and turn on the shower and adjust your temp, you’re probably going to get wet. 

2. Hang up your change of clothes and towel on the hooks inside the green doors. 

3. Close and lock the green doors in the middle and at the top-get undressed and hang your dirty clothes on anther hook-then close the glass door. 

4. Shove yourself into a corner so the water doesn’t hit you when you turn it on-you never know what temp it will be-don’t step on your toiletries on the floor since there’s no shelf. 

5. Turn the water on, then adjust the temp till your satisfied with it... sometimes it will change randomly as if a toilet was flushed-it wasn’t-hang tight it will change back. 

6. upon completing your shower open the glass door and do your best to dry off.. there’s not much room. If you’d like to dress in the stall you can... it’s hard and slippery but most of us managed it. Otherwise wrap the towel around you and grab your clothes, open the green doors and dash to the toilet stalls to change.

7. Once your totally done with all bathroom/shower related things return to your shower stall and grab your toiletries. 

SO FUN! haha It really wasn’t that bad. For the most part we managed it and the men in the hostel were always respectful and stayed away when the girls were making use of the facilities. 

There was also a common room in which we could hang out on comfortable chairs, stools, or the reading nook (this was my favorite and I’m going to have one some day). I actually wrote the blog about my clan badge in the common room and it was pretty relaxing. We also ate breakfast in here that was prepared for us every morning. 

We had mainly female workers while we were there and we had great fun explaining to them what we made for breakfast in the states-they’d never heard of an egg sandwich. They made us scrambled eggs and toast with marmalade every morning and provided coffee, tea, milk, and orange juice to drink. There was also bran flakes for anyone who preferred those. 

Over all it was a good stay and I had great roomies. I did have to switch beds with one of the girls who thought her bunk (the middle one in her row) had bed bugs (I slept on the one under it to make her feel better) but it turned out she was actually having an allergic reaction to the detergent the hostel used on the sheets (she was the only person in the whole hostel to come up with a rash-no bites). Her mattress wasn’t as comfortable as mine but it did the trick for our final night. 

Well that’s really all there is about the hostel... I actually enjoyed sleeping in my bunk with a view out the window. We were high up enough that no one could see in (it helped that the only building with a view in was the Edinburgh Records building and not open very often) and oddly enough the pub sounds below weren’t annoying but softly soothing Scottish songs and quiet conversations. There was also this muted red light from one of the construction cranes a few blocks over that kind of made it like a night light. The breeze was cool and the city smelled like fresh air and the sea from up there. I actually miss it sometimes and I hope to go back soon. 

(Me in my bunk on day 1 in the hostel)

Thanks for reading you guys! Next blog will probably be about the excursions I had in Scotland-in fact... let me know if you want a specific post about each excursion or one big one thrown together! 

Love you all!

-Chey

[ourwickedworld]

The Rambling Man Travel Review: Reno, Nevada

Reno, Nevada…  The Biggest Little City in the world, located mere miles from scenic Lake Tahoe.  Reno, known for so many things.  Yes, gambling is probably the first thing that creeps into your head as you begin the initial descent into Reno / Tahoe International Airport on the East end of Reno.  But, Reno is so much more!!  And, to be clear, because in an odd way I get this question more often than not.  “No, Reno is not any where near Las Vegas!” Frankly, Sin City is a 6 plus hour car trip away.  And, yes, the two Old West towns have some things in common, but the truth is they have more uncommon than you would expect.  This is the Silver State, Ramblin with the Rambling Man, checking out the dudeability, the hang outs, the good time, hidden gems….  Rambling, walking, eating, drinking, fishing, hunting, sporting…   Rambling into town, and taking in the town for all its worth.  From local sporting events, to grabbing a cold beer, or strolling a midnight street in search of every dream inside my soul.

If you want to double down on 11 in a game of black jack, sure…  You can take lady luck for a twirl at most locations in Nevada.  Heck, you can gamble in the grocery store! Gambling, of course, does not hold a stick to legalized prostitution in the Silver State.  A must see “dude event,” a most unique experience while in Nevada.  One must visit a brothel.  The experience of Ringing the bell, having the ladies line up, and the entire pomp and circumstance of legalized prostitution…  This is Nevada!!  Embrace it Bro..    And, hey, I am not singing a sad cowboy tune, but one does not have to sleep with a hooker to visit a Brothel.  Gentleman, the experience of visiting the Whore House is truly West Coast Cowboy Country Cool.  The experience of visiting the relic of the old west sorta makes actually having to bang a hooker totally unnecessary.  But, if you do decide to go to Tuna Town in the desert.  The house madam at the Brothel, and Brothel ownership, usually have high standards of safety and satisfaction. Plus, the State of Nevada ensures STD safe sex.  What a Country!  More like what a State.  Yes, the only state with Legalized Prostitution, but not the only state with prostitution.  As the oldest profession continues its strong industry and economic success globally.  

Some suggestions: Mustang Ranch on the outskirts of Reno defines old west prostitution, and if you can avoid the rush of tires truck drivers who frequent the place, the experience is sure to remind you that being a dude is still groovy.  The experience is sure to make you proud once again to be the sole proprietor of your personal penis, regardless of size.  Mustang offers drinks and libations with the most perfect bar to take in a conversation with one of the many girls patrolling the room.  The many patrons, of course, have their own unique stories as well sitting near if you so desire to engage.  But, dang it bro, you are on vacation, strike up a conversation. Most Renoites will be more than happy to share a story or two, especially if you are talking golf, hookers, skiing, cold beer, or cards.  

I woke up a bit foggy… I think I got home around 3:30 AM, an UBER brought me from Mustang back to my downtown Reno hotel room at the Eldorado Hotel and Casino.  I was nude, my clothes from last night thrown over the chair adjacent to my bed, I could still smell the stench of Mustang and Crown Royal bellowing from my garments. What a night…  I need some coffee and to walk some of the haze from behind my eyes.  I take a quick walk upon exiting the casino doors at the Eldorado, moving South down Virginia St.  I then take a right turn on First St.  

I arrive at Hub Coffee Roasters on Riverside Dr in Reno.  I sit outside, a round table with an extra chair my only company.  I sip a tall black coffee and pick at my cheese Danish. My view is of the Truckee River and the adjacent walking trail and park.  The trees scream early fall as I sit still listening to the peace of the morning.  

On foot one can embrace a new city on a much more intimate level.  You can walk almost in slow motion as you take in the new sights, smells, and people.  My walk today has a walking path that winds around the Truckee River directly West towards the Keystone Ave Bridge, the Booth St. Bridge, and Idlewild Park.  The orange, yellow leaves under my feet, as cool mountain air surrounds me.  I hear chirps from a few birds, and the 10:00 AM train and its screech and horn.  The water from the river heads East, against my walk.  It is a most perfect morning, and I am stoned immaculate in my city by the big lake in the Sierras.  You can almost smell that the snow of Winter is near, I walk.  My head phones in both ears, music plays, song after song.  I hear my playlist, my shuffle playlist. The many songs from Apple I-Tunes subscription.  

Three miles is a decent introduction walk to Reno, as I start my daily stroll from Hub Coffee Roasters by directly heading west on the adjacent walking trail…  I walk with the morning sun on my back, music keeping me company.  Beck, REM, Pearl Jam, Band of Horses, Elliot Smith, Mount Eerie, Bob Dylan….  The Truckee River from the nearby Sierra Nevada Mountain range brings fresh and clear water from the tops of elevated peaks seen in the distance, the river keeps me company as I ramble on.  It is a most perfect walk, a mix of solitude, water, fall, and some strange faces.  My own music allows me to not skip a beat.  

I have a personal tour of a local Cannabis Dispensary at 4 PM.  And dinner with an old friend, Clint Cates.   Yes, above and beyond gambling and prostitution, Nevada has recently legalized cannabis.  Yep, you can literally go pick up a sack at a local retail weed dealer.  What a country?  And they deliver…  

The inner workings of a cannabis dispensary, a bit underwhelming.  It is all about security in a cash only business… And, the chronic has some street value, no doubt.  So, bullet proof sheet rock, big safes with secret codes and levels of management. Not to mention, a big wall of people. I thought “Starbucks but weed” after 15 minutes into my tour because the Mynt Dispensary in Downtown Reno.  The place was packed, all sorts of sour faces and young people alike looking at such a variety of products.  Heck, when I was a kid, getting a sack of weed was a crap shoot. You would get a plastic sandwich bag with something green inside, and you would pay the man the cash.  Today, its sativa or Indica.  It’s oils, wax, vape pens, and don’t get me started on the names.  Pot can’t just be pot anymore.  Marketing has invaded the space, so pot now is Orange Krusk Kush, or Spiral to Insanity. Regardless, Reno has it all, and the Mynt Dispensary is close and will satisfy one’s curiosity on what is recreational legalization.  Check it out….  

Mr. Cates urged me to see the Grow Facility, the actual place the pot is grown.  And, talk about impressive…  To see such a green forest of pot inside the facility was one most unique experience.  What a country?  And, Nevada, Northern Nevada.  This place is lit, no pun intended.  

And, when you are stoned? Besides taking a walk and being outdoors, I enjoy food, duh…  I think that is the pothead mantra, let’s get high and eat are faces off.  For Clint’s chronic hospitality, and world class tour of the Mynt Dispensary facilities, I offered to buy the pot entrepreneur dinner.

Clint, he suggests a local staple, but a Cougar Stop first.  

We walk into The Polo Lounge with glazed eyes and an unquenchable thirst.  We pull up to seats at the bar, we were Wyatt Earp and Doc Holliday in a pair of cowboy boots galloping into this local dive bar. And, we were looking for a cold drink.  

The Polo Lounge located in Midtown Reno is a retro and freaky dive bar with strange faces everywhere. The bar, however, is first and foremost a place to drink in a town of drinkers.  Did I mention?  Reno can drink.  I am feeling a Vodka and Tonic with a lemon night is on the horizon.  I am in the land of milk and honey, as this dive bar is also a Cougar den.  Hot, horny, older women.  And like fine wine, and vodka to my tongue, an older woman is truly as sexy as a woman can possible be.  Especially, if the music is loud, the drinks are cheap, and last call is just a rumor. That’s right, you can drink all day and all night in the Biggest Little City.  No last call!!  What a country bro!!!

Clint stumbles back from a food run, we lost most of the night in a haze of laughter, pick up lines, and bar games.  We even missed the food reservation.  Clint finds a solution!  He brings back some food from Miguel’s Mexican Cantina, a short walk away from The Polo Lounge.  I am mouth first into an onion and cheese enchilada and a chili relleno in the most elegant egg crepe as 2 AM reared its ugly head.  I order a cold beer to wash it down, The Polo Lounge happily accommodates our request to bring in outside food.  Dive bar, check.  Great company and laughter, check.  Great Mexican food, check!!  The Rambling Man thinks highly in regards to the drinkability and Eatability in the Biggest little City…

I sleep until high noon. The partly cloudy fall day brings a day to catch up.  I have one more night in Reno, what will the last day of my weekend getaway bring.  I hope more laughter, and more food.  

What will today bring, a Sunday afternoon and night in Reno.  I stick to my vacation theme, let’s walk, drink, eat, and find some laughter.

I start my last night with a Sunset Walk at nearby Virginia Lake.  The manmade lake is exactly one mile around, it is a big oval walking / running path near the intersection of Virginia St. and Plumb Lane in Reno.  It is a most beautiful walk and sunset.  I start my walk, set for 3 laps, at approximately 5:45 PM, sunset set for 6:20 PM, and the sky was set ablaze with all of autumn’s glory.  The lake is full of aquatic life, ducks, geese, turtles, fish.  With the best feature of Virginia Lake, a forest of sage brush. As dusk approaches, the smell from the sage brush is worth a billion silver dollars.  The smell of sun fading from summer, the old west meeting the fresh air of ancient mountain shadow.  Air so still, my heart beats in rhythm with the season.  

After the walk, I go to the nearby Atlantis Casino….  The Atlantis, less than a quarter mile from Virginia Lake, is where I will partake in the Steam Room with Eucalyptus spray and a world class massage.  I feel like I am made of rubber, I feel happy.  So, I make my way down to the sportsbook within the bowels of the Atlantis casino.  I grab a beer and a nearby handicapping sheet, I am going to bet on the NFL Sunday night game of the Week, it’s the Patriots vs the Chiefs.  What a game!!  I put $500 on Tom Brady, the old man from Nor Cal, to win the game by more than two points.  

At halftime, I stagger over to the Purple Parrot restaurant within the Atlantis to get my all time favorite sandwich, The Monty Cristo.  This fried sandwich with a side of strawberry preserves is not something I eat, nor even have the option of ordering.  The Monty Cristo with a side of fries, I sit at my table, lost in the casino carpet, and flashy neon lights, my eyes fixed upon the next numbers in the never ending run of Keno games on the overhead TV.  In my head, I keep wishing for eight numbers to match, a dream of wealth and fame surely awaits if I can only just get 8 numbers correct.  

The night fades into the swallows of tomorrow, I make my way back to downtown and the Eldorado.  My flight leaves tomorrow at 10:15 AM….

Hue of the TV radiates upon my tired and sleepy head, a weekend in Reno.  I spark my lighter, weed set aglow, I inhale.  Stoned immaculate, I am the Rambling Man.  Reno ENVY… Reno, Nevada…  Walkability Score:  9 out of 10,  Drinkability Score:  7 out of 10, Eatability Score:  7 out of 10, Overall Value:  8 of 10, The Ability of the City to Provide a Unique Experience:  10 of 10.

Or course, my weekend getaway is meant to start a conversation regarding travel.  Reno has so much more to offer, like most cities, it would take multiple trips to take it all in.  I, do however, list below some activities or events to consider when traveling to Reno.  

1.       Fish for Brown or Rainbow Trout in the Truckee River. Entrance Point at Mayberry Park west of town make this easy to access.  Artificial flies, a Salmon Egg, or even a piece of Bacon on the end of the stick will find success at dawn or twilight.  

2.       Check out a University of Nevada Football game at nearby Mackey Stadium in the Fall, a Nevada Basketball game in the Winter, or a Reno Aces Minor League Baseball game in the Spring or Summer.  Hey, we love our sports, and checking out a new venue is always cool.  

3.       Walking Options: Mayberry Park, Downtown Reno, Virginia Lake, Rancho San Rafael

4.       Harrah’s Auto Museum – This is a legit place, full of classic cars that will blow your mind.

5.       Rib Cookoff, Balloon Races, Hot August Nights, all tourists traps but a place to start a weekend to Ramble On…..  

Finally, and in closing, what is the soul of the city, what is the Soul of Reno?  Reno has two faces, and contradiction surrounds.  The beauty of Lake Tahoe, the Truckee River, the Sierra Nevada Mountains, alongside the despair of prostitution and gaming.  The city is the chain of vice, and the elegance of a perfect small town.  It is the old west, yet modern day growth and opportunity abounds.  It’s the Wild, Wild West, it’s the Biggest Little City in the World.  Regardless, Reno is a fantastic place to Ramble On.

The Rambling Man continues next week, we explore Athens, Georgia.  Please follow us on Twitter, @BarkmanPete. We are no longer on Facebook.  Why? Because Facebook sucks.  

Please consider checking out other Podcast segments available on The Pete Barkman Show. Segments include the following: The Rambling Man, Las Vegas Larry’s Losers ( sports picks, predictions, and handicapping).  And, our How To Live a Happy and Healthy Life Series.  Plus, much more.  The Pete Barkman Show, available on most Podcast Platforms.  

[becauseiamnotanelephant]

Frog on the loo

So, it’s hard to breathe here. Figured that out quite quickly on the first 3 mile climb shortly after breakfast.

We all ate together, Sander debriefed us on the route, rules of the road, and how we would ride so that no one would get lost. A guide out front, Oscar in the truck at the back. 

And then we were off, and mostly on time other than Steve who I would have been the one to bet money on to be the slow one of the group. But he’s the fastest on the bike, so I guess it cancels itself out. 

Today is Sunday, so we were joined by hundreds of other cyclists out riding. At the top of the first climb, we found ourselves with many other cyclists at a ramshackle bike stop on the side of the road, with a few horses, too. Then downhill to another town filled with cyclists at a bakery. We definitely stand out as the palest people around...you don’t realize how pale you are until you realize your skin hasn’t seen the sun for several weeks. Pastries that come out pre-buttered from the oven are amazing, by the way. 

Then some more riding along rolling hills. This place, like so many, is full of eucalyptus trees and smells amazing. It feels so familiar to riding in the Bay Area except that I can barely breathe when climbing even the gentlest of hills. It’s so hard to remember that we are really, really high up.

The views are incredible from up in the hills, the drivers are much more respectful of the cyclists than you’d think, it’s so green - and you forget quickly how much you miss color in the midst of NYC winters, and the roads are generally well paved. There are certainly REALLY TERRIBLE sections of road, but those can generally be forgiven.

What is crazy, is the prevalence and variety of speed bumps. Regular speed humps that you’d see in the US on city streets, half wiffle balls stuck to the ground in offset rows of four, foot-wide inch-tall white painted bars, and the worst of them - plastic humps that will easily knock you off your bike. It’s like the equivalent of what I thought of the Dutch’s obsession with different kinds of pavement - the Colombians are really into using all kinds of speed bumps. Plus, they decided it was smart to install them on long, winding descents so that you shit yourself as you ride downhill and have to come to nearly a complete stop to avoid a crash and burn situation. 

What else. They are serious about lunch. Normally, on a 75 mile ride, we eat a donut. Maybe two. 

Today, I had breakfast of scrambled eggs with tomato and onion, hot chocolate, toast, and fruit. Then, a bocadillos (here is essentially a large Chuckles candy made of guava). Then a banana at the top of the climb. Then for lunch, the famous Colombian soup Ajiaco - potato, corn, chicken, and beans, which comes with a side of a chicken leg, rice, avocado, and plantain. Then, after the ride, some fruit and nuts. Then soup. Then dinner. Then dessert. 

I might have to buy two seats on the plane home if I keep eating like this. 

The last bit of the ride, I was riding with Selina and for a variety of reasons, we ended up off the front. No guide, no truck, no other riders. And neither of us with internet service or a bike computer. My cue sheets are generally good, but the roads are not marked and what was the most subtle of left turns looked like a driveway so we missed it and continued to fly downhill. I shortly realized it didn’t seem right so we worked on our Spanish to find that we had missed the turn (easy to figure out when the guy started speaking English to us). So back uphill we went until we passed the rest of the group.

At this point, the ridiculous began. “A short ride up an unpaved section of road” to get to the hotel turned into anything but. It was paved with large cobbles which I was able to ride up until I fell over - the ruts were way too big and I am clearly not suited for Paris Rubaix or cyclecross. 

We kept going up, all of us walking our bikes at this point. Up a crazy steep road that looked like it could go nowhere, yet cars kept coming down (definitely not built as a two-way road). Dripping sweat, climbing steep grades, pushing our bikes, and finally got to a point where we found out that the guide didn’t give us the latest route and we were off course. One guy who managed to stay on his bike had kept going, but the rest of us waited for the van to pick us up. Rhett managed to get to the top of the road, where there was no hotel. I would have lost my mind. Turns out he was at a back entrance at the top of the mountain, so was able to get into the facility. The rest of us were in the van and the road we drove up, while less steep was still insane and mostly unpaved, so who knows if we would have made it even with the right directions. 

Finally, at the top, we were met by another car who drove us to the main restaurant of the hotel  - only some cars are allowed on the property since it’s all unpaved, super steep, and rugged terrain. And it’s an operating coffee plantation. Hard to capture the grandeur of it. 

We all had a beer and then went off to shower before dinner. 

We are all staying in our own bungalows, which is almost like glamping, in a way. Really nicely built, beautiful architectural features, great tilework in the bathrooms, indoor and outdoor showers, lots of privacy, cozy porches with hammocks, etc. 

We met up back at the main restaurant for a coffee tasting (probably more fun for those who care for coffee without sugar and milk) but it was interesting to learn about the details and curious to see if I can fall asleep tonight. The guide said he drinks 15-16 cups A DAY. Jesus. 

Then for a super tasty dinner. The group is getting more chatty and comfortable with each other, but it’s still a small group so limited conversation. But fun to find out more what it’s like to be a roadie, hear about Selina’s adventures attempting to climb Everest, and to learn about Colombian culture. 

I am in bed. It’s not even 9 PM. There was a frog on our toilet when we got back from dinner and I’m not sure where in our bungalow he is currently hanging out. Lots to think about as I try to go to sleep...plus, the internet is shit, so pictures will come later.

[ibelieveinahappilyeverafter]

Putting the Cat in Catastrophe Chapter 1 (edited)

Bonjour, mes chers! I’m about to upload chapter two in half an hour or so here, but this is the edited chapter of TCC where I had to edit a few things to make it work better once I finished plotting it all out. Enjoy! Also, a new thing, I’ll be uploading the chapter fully onto tumblr. Neat, huh? 

If you’re a Patron of mine then you can find a link the the old version of the story - and even notes of what I wanted to do! - on my patreon at mjanderson! You can pledge as little as a dollar a month and get access to a bunch of cool things. Go check it out!

Click here to read on FFN Click here to read on AO3

Summary:   Danny Fenton has just escaped from a secret government testing facility and runs straight into Andrew Riter - a busybody librarian who seems to be obsessed with helping a stray black cat - said stray black cat happening to be Danny himself. The Government gets interested when they find out a seemingly ordinary human can shapeshift into different animals. Danny just wants to return to his family and try to find his lost memories, but he's having a hard time doing so when he's finding less and less reasons for leaving Andrew's side. He couldn't tell anyone his secret - not again - but... But why did he want to trust this man so badly? (Iambic Prose) (Shapeshifter Danny AU)

Warning: This story will have references to laboratory testing, mentions of vivisections, blood, wounds, character trauma, and things of a similar sort. Most mentions of such things will be vague, but there will be heavy mentions of it and warnings at the beginning of chapters when it gets explicit.

<<Next Chapter>>

Chapter One

:: 

It could be said that how a person’s day went was largely determined by their mood and their personal worldview. With such an outlook, it would be correct in saying that if you looked upon the day with a cheery smile and attitude, then you would have a happy day no matter what bad things befell you.

Andrew Riter would like nothing more than to punch the face of whoever had said that. Preferably with a knife, but a regular punch and kick to the balls would work just as well, he was certain.

See, Andrew would readily admit that he wasn’t that optimistic of a person - in fact, he was usually downright sour to people and for good reason. He dealt with enough stupidity at work and school, he didn’t need it in his daily life. There was a reason he avoided social contact as best he could. He still did his best to enjoy his days and take them one at a time, of course, but that was very difficult when his day had become a giant shitshow.

It started, as always, when he woke up to nothing but wonderful peace and quiet. That was very bad since it meant his alarm hadn’t gone off. A look to his piece of shit alarm clock had showed he only had an hour to get ready for work. It wasn’t the best, but at least he hadn’t slept through the start of his shift. Which, that was fine. It could have been a still okay day since it meant he got more sleep, but, no.

He quickly found out his depression and anxiety medication were completely empty. Completely as in there was a post-it note reminding him to refill the damn things, but he hadn’t, so screw his past self. The day could have been saved by a good cup of morning coffee and a muffin or two, but his cabinets were dismally empty and the only thing in his refrigerator that wasn’t expired were some eggs and milk. He hated dairy. As for the new bag of coffee he got… He grabbed the wrong one last time he was at the store.

So with a horribly cold shower because the water in his apartment sucked, Andrew had gone out the door and had been five seconds away from a full blown panic attack because of the fucking espresso coffee he bought that existed for the sole reason of people hating themselves. It may not have been as bad if he hadn’t been stopped on the stairwell three times by his neighbors.

Vidya, his sadistic landlord who he was absolutely certain was a witch of some sort due to the fact she always smelled of plants and wore a lot of black and green and had grey hair when she was thirty, had wanted to discuss that month’s rent and was not assured by Andrew telling her - quite often - that his paycheck would be coming in just a few days and could she please stop threatening eviction when she never went through with it? Either commit or don’t, but stop acting like his life wasn’t in her hands, honestly.

He had then been stopped on the second floor by Sam who had spent almost half an hour screaming at him over the ethics of animal testing. Sam was a childhood friend who had ‘coincidentally’ wound up in the same apartment as him and tended to dress on the more vampire side of goth. The black hair fooled no one when the roots were so quick to fade back to blonde. Ugh. She also had this thing about animal testing. Andrew was of the opinion that he didn’t care at all and Sam seemed to think him a monster for not caring about - what even had she been upset about this time? Eyeliner on bunnies? Andrew couldn't care less. Actually, he probably could care less! This was him! Not caring!

Oh and then Tucker. Tucker, another ‘coincidental’ childhood friend and certifiable genius when it came to mechanics and computers and looked like a nerd straight from the 80s or early 90s, had stopped him five feet from the door and spent thirty minutes trying to talk to him about theoretical physics. Andrew was just trying to get his Associate in Arts and then transfer to a nice four-year to study Creative Writing - maybe Journalism if he got curious and or desperate enough. He was not killing himself with a double major in Engineering and Physics or whatever the hell it was Tucker did. Of course, that did nothing to stop the ‘genius’ from talking his ear off. By the time he got outside to his bus stop the bus had been gone for twenty minutes and his shift started in ten. His job was fifteen minutes away by car.

Needless to say, that left Andrew very cranky and running through alleyways and down not so safe streets as he tried to take shortcuts in whatever way he could in order to get to the library he worked at on time. Three minutes of trying to find the right street and proving he had just circled a block and wasted time almost sent him to tears before he heard his phone buzzing with a familiar ringtone.

Taking a breath, and trying not to hysterically laugh at the ‘Werewolves of London’ song he now had playing and couldn’t figure out how to change, Andrew clicked accept call and tried to stay calm. Focused. Peaceful. “Bonjour, grand frère.”

“What did you do and what do I need to fix?” Rude. Randy had called him, thank you very much. “Andy, you only call me that when you want something or you’re about to have a nervous breakdown. Are you about to have a nervous breakdown- Shit, you took your meds this morning, didn’t you?” Dammit.

“I’m not screwed up enough to forget my meds, thanks.” How did his brother always manage to call right when he was feeling at his worst or when he ran out of his pills? He was pretty sure the man had him bugged. It wouldn’t surprise him. He took overprotective to whole new levels. “Why did you call me?”

“Lunch!” Oh. It was one of their lunch days, wasn’t it? “Our lunch breaks should align today, so I figured we could meet up at our usual place around then?” It was ridiculous that Andrew could hear the ‘are you okay’ hidden in those words.

“Lunch sounds fine.” Randy was annoying, but he had this ridiculous way of making Andrew find a reason to not just curl into a ball and never wake up. He also made Andrew feel better about his own wreck of a life considering the messes he got himself into. “You’re paying, Mr. $82,000 a year.”

“Hey, I’m not that good of a vet yet and I’m still paying off student loan debts!” Feeling a small smile on his face, Andrew sighed softly. Randy somehow always made it okay again. He would die before telling that to his face, of course, but still. “I’ll meet you in a few hours. Try not to get lost in your books, Andy.”

“Try not to flirt with the owners of your patients, Randy.” Honestly, his decision to become a veterinarian had come out of left field, but Andrew couldn’t deny he did a good job. “Especially that one you’re so fond of. Now, what was his name… It started with an N?”

“Bye, love you, gotta go!” The call disconnected and Andrew gave in to the urge to laugh. Seeing the time, his laugh quickly fell and, right, he should at least call in to let the library know he was going to be a little bit late. Of course - of course - he got four rings in before his phone died. Because apparently his phone hadn’t charged from the night before even though Andrew had unplugged it this morning.

And as if the gods had somehow heard of his day and decided he needed to suffer even more, the clouds above him rumbled with the menacing beats of thunder and lightning cracked against the sky like a jagged edge of a wound. It took only a second for Andrew to realize he was fucked and two for the rain to begin falling.

Within fifteen minutes he was late, soaked, and felt as if he had offended some minor deity over something or other - or maybe it was Vidya making him suffer for being behind on his rent. Mm. Maybe he had broken a mirror or spilled some salt, actually. That sounded like his kind of luck. Heh. Maybe it was divine punishment. He obviously hadn’t suffered enough for what he had done, right?

By the time he got to the library he was pretty sure his clothes were ruined and he would never be dry again. At least he could get inside and clean up in the bathroom before sitting himself right over a heating vent and sorting books. It was a nice, quiet library and it was raining like it wouldn’t stop for forty days. He was sure the owner wouldn’t mind. In fact, he could even… He… He could stare at the locked doors and dark windows.

Gaze caught on the white notice posted to the main door, Andrew could only stare, utterly speechless. It was Memorial Day. They were closed on Memorial Day. Andrew had just walked for what was probably close to thirty minutes in the rain and… And… At least he wasn’t late. That was great. That was fucking fantastic.

Shoving a hand in his bag to see if he had some magical solution that would fix all of his problems, Andrew stared at the purple umbrella that came out and began mocking him at once. He stared for what felt like an eternity before he clicked the button and ducked into the alleyway. Sitting down on a set of side steps that led to an unstable backdoor, Andrew propped the umbrella up over him and stared at the red brick wall across from him.

It wasn’t even noon, yet, and his day was completely ruined and shot all to hell. The worst part was that this wasn’t even the first time this had happened - maybe the exact circumstances were, but getting screwed over by life? No, no, Andrew was very familiar with getting screwed over.

Glasses fogged up, breath still short from his running, and soaked through to the bone, Andrew could only bury his face into his hands and make a noise that he hoped was closer to a groan than a sob. It was always like this. Life built up to where he couldn’t handle the strain, everything came crashing down around him, and he shattered. Eventually he would put himself back together, but it kept feeling like it was harder and harder to be able to do that.

A clash of thunder and lightning and gust of wind had him trying to bite down another sob/groan. Of all the things he expected to happen next in his life, it wasn’t to hear an answering hiss to his own pathetic noise.

Head jerking up, Andrew stared down at the pathetic scrap of fur that sat in front of him, just as soaked and just as pissed as he felt himself - although the scrap of fur looked to be as broken as Andrew probably looked. Staring for a moment, Andrew huffed and looked at the black cat with a wry smile, “Bonjour, chat noir. Are you the cause of my bad luck today, then?”

At least animals didn’t judge you for speaking French first instead of English, he mused. Sighing, Andrew fixed his glasses, trying to see. He had given up wiping them off after the first few minutes of the rain storm. “Would you like to add to today’s woes, then? I’m sure there’s nothing else you can do to me, at this point, but you’re welcome to try.”

There was a rumbling little growl that sounded utterly pathetic, Andrew huffing out a laugh as he stared at the mangy thing. No doubt the cat was covered with fleas, ticks, and other unsavory bugs. The ribs poking out showed he hadn’t had a decent meal in weeks - maybe months. Poor thing probably wouldn’t make it through the night.

Tilting his umbrella forward, Andrew propped his cheek up on his hand - elbow balanced on his knee - as the fabric kept anymore rainwater from getting on the cat. “There you go. Might as well. Not like I can get much more wet myself.” The rain was freezing as hell, of course, so Andrew was being a complete idiot by doing this for a cat that looked ready to claw his eyes out. Ugh. Why did he have to pity small, tiny things?

The cat grumbled and stared at Andrew hard before leaning forward and giving as quick a headbutt to Andrew’s leg as he could, Andrew amused to see that the cat looked disgruntled at even that much. “You’ve had a very hard life, haven’t you?” The meow sounded like utter, sarcastic agreement. Maybe Andrew was projecting. “I know what that’s like, petit chaton. Would you like to hear about my cursed day?”

So, of course, Andrew spent the next however long telling a cat about how terrible his day had been. The cat seemed to be an attentive audience, at least, nodding along and making little rumbling noises close to a purr as he said something particularly witty. Andrew wasn’t sure if that was meant to be amusement or a reprimand- A cat. He was projecting emotions onto a cat. He had fallen far, hadn’t he?

“I imagine your story is much more interesting, though.” Andrew stared down at the mangy little stray, the cat staring back up at him before jumping up into his lap. Andrew scrambled to keep the thing from falling and not dropping the umbrella, calming his racing pulse down. “A warning would have been nice, you know.”

The cat meowed with what sounded like derision, Andrew huffing and ready to argue before going utterly still and silent as bright blue eyes caught onto him own. “I didn’t know black cats had such bright eyes.” The cat only settled down tiredly, looking utterly exhausted, but those eyes… No. No, it had been years and it was time to get over it. Happy endings like those in his books didn’t exist in this world. The sooner he realized that days like this one were the norm, the better off he would be. After all, you couldn’t get disappointed when you expected the worst, right?

But, still. Andrew couldn’t stop himself from threading his fingers through the small creature’s fur, the threat of tears starting to fade. The fur was rather soft even with the rainwater that drenched them. Actually the storm was starting to lessen into a drizzle.

Leaning back against the unstable backdoor, Andrew sighed and closed his eyes, biting his lip as his fingers tightened on the fur. Black fur with blue eyes. That… “You know, I like to think that black cats are actually lucky.” It wasn’t possible - it wasn’t - but… It wouldn’t hurt him anymore to keep hoping, right?

Just one last time.

[paharvey99]

No Waitrose October 8 - Days 3-4

Day 3

The great plan for Day 3 was to go swimming in the afternoon. Regular readers will remember that that was the great plan for Day 2 as well, but no matter. We spent the morning pottering about in anticipation of the execution of the great plan, doing, well, I can’t really remember what. Sunday morning things.

At about 11.15am, the five year old I live with announced that she was hungry, so I started making some lunch. I thought we’d have some pasta, that seemed like a good pre-swim meal. It was a bit early for lunch, so I wasn’t in any particular hurry to get the food on the table. I was ambling around sorting stuff out in the kitchen when I heard some shouting from the sofa, so I went to investigate what the problem was.

“DADDY ARE YOU MAKING LUNCH?”

“Yes, I’m making some pasta. Do you want red pasta or plain pasta?”

“DADDY I’M SO HUNGRY THAT IF YOU DON’T GIVE ME SOME LUNCH RIGHT NOW I’M GOING TO PICK MY NOSE AND EAT THE BOGIES.”

Righty ho. I put a little bowl of mozzarella cheese in the microwave and melted it, and that served to stave off the nosepicking threat. I also picked up the pace a bit and about 10 minutes later we had spaghetti in tomato sauce on the table, with some grated mozzarella cheese and broccoli. It was that tenderstem broccoli, the big long florets, they’re fun to eat for five year olds it turns out.

After lunch it was time to go swimming, and this time we managed to gain access to the pool and had a nice hour or so splashing about in the family bit. It was the first time I’d been in a swimming pool in about two years, so I was more amenable to it than usual. I’m generally of the opinion that being half blind, half deaf and half naked in a public place is no way to spend one’s spare time, but the five year old I live with was so excited to be in a swimming pool again that I forgot to have a bad time.

Energised by the successful swimming trip, I threw caution to the wind and suggested a trip to the garden centre to buy some daffodils. I’ve got into gardening since we moved to a house with a garden. We have all the usual spring things out the front - crocuses, bluebells, daffodils, tulips – but none out the back, which seems a shame. Last week I decided to remedy this by planting a load of crocuses and mini alliums in the lawn, a task that turned out to be a lot harder than I had imagined, mainly because I snapped my trowel. Undeterred by this setback, I then decided that I wanted to stick a load of daffodils in there as well, hence the trip to the garden centre.

I filled a paper bag with daffodil bulbs for a fiver, and also got some muscari bulbs and a bulb planter and a pot, because I always buy extra stuff I don’t need at the garden centre.

We then went home and after the swimming pool and the garden centre I decided to ramp up the Sunday vibes even further by doing some roast beef, as it was the five year old I live with’s teatime. I had a topside joint I’d defrosted the day before with this in mind, so it had an hour’s blast in the oven and I knocked up a Yorkshire pudding, peas and gravy to go alongside.

After years of making crap Yorkshire puddings, I have in the last year found one that works. It’s based on volume; you just whisk together the same volume of eggs, flour and milk and pour that into the hot fat. So, say you have two eggs, that’s about 100ml, then you pour flour into the measuring jug up to the same level, and then the milk. I make my Yorkshire puddings in a cast iron frying pan, I get it blisteringly hot on the hob, pour in the batter and then stick it straight into a really hot oven for 15 minutes. It works for me, anyway.

The roast went down well, and then it was time for baths and bed and all that.

In the evening we watched the rest of the film we started on Day 2, The Green Knight. It’s good, it’s worth a look I think. It’s based on a medieval thing, so it’s got a good plot. There’s a quest, you get told at the beginning what’s going to happen, then it happens. I like that kind of plot.

Didn’t go to Waitrose.

Day 4

Woke up feeling pretty low level ill, nothing major, just run down and weary and bleurgh it’s Monday. Upon speaking to my colleagues in the 10am Teams meeting it became clear they all felt the same. We speculated as to whether we had all given each other Covid the previous week, but then decided we were just knackered.

Did a bit of work and then lunched on some eggy mushroom scramble on bagel, a chucked together not much in the fridge sort of a lunch, before heading into Brighton to pick up a suit I bought last week. On Day 8 I will be wearing a suit at a work thing. It’s a black tie event, and I usually hire a suit, but this year I decided to buy a suit instead.

Part of the reason I wanted to buy a suit was that my grandad died a month or so ago, and he left me a bit of money. He was someone who looked good in a suit and liked getting dressed up, so I thought a fancy suit would be an appropriate way to spend some of the money he left me.

I’ve been buying lots of clothes recently, actually. I’ve got into the idea of spending a bit more money on something that’s going to last a long time. Recently I needed some trousers, so instead of getting some H&M jeans in the sale like I usually do, I went looking around and found some work trousers from a company called Carrier Clothing in Norfolk that claimed to be tough, hardwearing, built to last and improve with age. I’ve worn them non-stop for about three weeks now, they’re wonderful. Just what I need to withstand all the hard manual labour that I do. I have a work jacket from the same company made from the same thick cotton. A few days ago I put the jacket and the trousers on at the same time and the person I live with said I looked like Chairman Mao.

The black tie suit that I bought for the black tie do is slightly less redolent of communism. It isn’t actually black though, it’s very very very dark blue. When I was in the shop, the salesman persuaded me that it would be fine for a black tie do, but in the days since I’ve grown less sure. I was keen to see it again to check if it was fit for purpose.

Wearing my Mao get up, I drove into Brighton and parked in the multi storey behind the Brighton Centre. It was only on the way out I noticed it was £6 an hour. Six quid! Still, I’d only be an hour, so it shouldn’t be too bad. I rang the person I live with as I knew there were some children’s wellies she’d bought that I had to collect from Next and I’d need the email confirmation. She sent it over, and it turned out that the wellies wouldn’t be available until 3pm, which was more than an hour away. Six more quid right there. Bastards.

I had an hour to kill, so I went to Morrisons in Kemp Town. It was a favourite haunt from before the five year old I live with was born, but its location and lack of car parking facilities have made it pretty inaccessible for the last five years. It was exciting to be back, they had a special deal on salmon. You could get a whole salmon, head and all, chopped up and wrapped in clingfilm, for about £20. It looked quite frightening. I considered my freezer space and got some pork mince instead.

Then I went and picked up my suit, tried it on, and it fit. I think I should be able to get away with it at a black tie do. Not much choice now, anyway, I’m not buying another one.

After that I went to Next in Churchill Square shopping centre to pick up the children’s wellies. The man on the till couldn’t find my order, so he looked at the email I had and told me I was in the wrong place, and had to go next door to Victoria’s Secret. Now, I don’t want to come across as someone who is flustered by going in a lingerie shop, but if I’d known I was going in Victoria’s Secret I wouldn’t have dressed as Chairman Mao. It’s not what anyone wants. Thankfully the wellies were there and the weird ordeal was soon over.

The five year old I live with goes to after school club on a Monday, so I had time to nip into Lewes Road Sainsburys for a few bits. I can tell you the exact date that I was last in Lewes Road Sainsburys – Friday 15 January 2021. It was the day we moved house. We left our flat in Hove for the last time, had a sausage roll, and drove to Lewes to collect the keys to our new house. On the way though, we had to drop into Argos at Lewes Road Sainsburys to collect some plug in nightlights that we had ordered. We wanted to put them on the stairs in the new house. An hour later we discovered that our new house didn’t have any plug sockets on the stairs, so the whole nightlights kerfuffle had been a total waste of time. Apologies for telling you about it now.

This visit to Lewes Road Sainsburys was slightly more fruitful, I picked up some fruit and reduced price meat items, before heading off to collect the people I live with from work and school respectively.

I made stir fry for tea out of last night’s beef, two nights ago’s rice and a bit of veg. It was good, mainly thanks to some fancy teriyaki sauce I got from the yellow sticker bin in Waitrose last month. Then we watched University Challenge and a documentary about New Labour. I’d taken my Mao off by then.

Didn’t go to Waitrose.

[babyskincareweb-blog]

Yellow Nappy Rash Cream For Newborn Baby

Earth Mama Angel Baby Lotion Ewg

NEVER MIX BLEACH AND AMMONIA TOGETHER! Certainly never mix products all together that have bleach along with items that contain ammonia! I would certainly even go as much as keeping them in different spots just as a safety measure.

 2. ALWAYS check out labels on products prior to combining ANYTHING! It's unworthy producing these cleaning services if you wind up in the medical facility or even the morgue, therefore PLEASE BE CAREFUL!

3. MAINTAIN ALL CLEANERS AWAY FROM KIDS- despite the fact that these are green, they are still not secure for kids, so please keep these far from your little ones! DO NOT MIX BLEACH WITH VINEGAR, TOILET BOWL CLEANER, OR AMMONIA . Earth Mama Angel Baby Lotion Ewg

Some beneficial hints:.

1. Create your cleansers in advance.

Organize all of them depending on to area they are actually utilized in, always keeping out of range of children. I help make add-ons of things for the upstairs and downstairs shower rooms.

3. Purchase your elements wholesale. This way, you spare loan twice! You save through acquiring in bulk (for sale obviously!) and also you conserve because you possess what you need on hand, avoiding an excursion to the retail store!

I such as to acquire spray bottles in majority for this reason, because it is certainly not secure to reuse bottles that possessed industrial cleansers or even chemicals in them. Dairy jugs are great to use also.

5. Create big batches of several cleaning services and also keep them in recycled milk containers.

6. Wear rubber handwear covers when you clean to avoid skin irritability.

Seventh Generation Coconut Care Ewg

Once a girl that adored her cakes and also cookies found out that she was actually much better off without all of them. How saddening her life appeared as she searched for choices to wheat. The gluten-free biscuits, covereds, as well as combines were very higher in carbohydrates like pudding carbohydrate, bean flours, white potato starch, and rice flour, the highest-glycemic degree grain there is actually! You view, she was actually additionally border-line hypoglycemic as well as definitely failed to would like to become diabetic person atop every thing else. Seventh Generation Coconut Care Ewg

Oh what to carry out, what to do? She really loved to bake as well as consume her sweets, so she utilized her imaginative imagination ahead up with recipes created from almond dish flour just before anybody (including her) had ever been aware of it. She ground nuts in her blender and also came to be braver and also bolder each time she trying out priceless, food-stained dishes bied far coming from her mama. Her favorite was carrot pie consequently she spent years perfecting it, featuring producing a dairy-free "cream-cheese" icing dish for her close friends that could possibly certainly not manage the cow dairy items.

 Yellow Nappy Rash Cream

Several years of experimenting delivered her (meJ) to a few successfully-slimming food conclusions:.

2. For Sweetening - Lower the glucoses as well as carbohydrates much more by utilizing simply a little bit of fruit product (not sugar or fruit product glucoses, but real fruit product, as well as steer clear of days - a lot extremely delightful) and incorporate as a lot whole-leaf Stevia (either the ground eco-friendly leaf or the dark liquid remove for a more pleased pancreas) or even whatever non-sugar sweetener you can easily manage. Talco Para Bebe Mennen

For Flavor - Use the finest seasonings, flavorings, as well as natural herbs you can easily discover. Usage lots of good, healthy and balanced oils and fats. Made clear butter (may purchase as ghee in international segment of health shops) works marvels for flavor (cook's trick!).

Satisfied Note: You may utilize any of the above suggestions along with basically any sort of dish. I did observe that for cake shells I must include an egg. For biscuits, take all of them out. Who knew? Once again, many years of trying out.

 For Flours - Lower the carb amount through using almond dish flour and also any type of seed or even nut flours in all baking. Find the equilibrium you require for the dish. Yellow Nappy Rash Cream

 Our parents and also grandparents made use of the easiest as well as most cost effective components to receive that beautiful scent and apparent tidy that our company in some cases can't even receive with the pricey cleansers we obtain today. For washing the develop up on faucets, you may either utilize a lemon block plunged in sodium, or you may utilize white vinegar and salt. Alkali will also clean up faucets, having said that it is actually not as safe, so use with caution.

 Certainly not just can lemon extract be utilized to liquify soap residue and hard water deposits, however it can easily radiate as well as clean metal and copper. You may likewise utilize white vinegar (you can easily certainly not use vinegar along with carpet shampooers).

 Anyone that has actually possessed yeast infection will recognize of the discomfort, discomfort and distress that this health condition may cause. What is thrush as well as can it be actually avoided?

[katewalton]

Trying a low-carb diet in Jakarta, despite loving Indonesian food

Note: I couldn’t find a home for this, so I’m just putting it up on my blog instead. All photos are my own.

Indonesians love carbohydrates. Rice in particular, but also noodles, cassava, corn, sweet potatoes, taro, sago... the list goes on. Almost every meal involves a huge portion of carbohydrates with a significantly smaller amount of vegetables and protein on the side. Sometimes, noodle dishes such as stir-fried vermicelli or egg noodles are even eaten as the side dish to rice.

So when my GP back in Australia mentioned I needed to lose weight, she suggested trying a low-carb diet. She told me to eat as few carbohydrates as possible, and cut out all sugars, including tropical fruits, and after six weeks, I could lose as much as 10cm from around my waist. It sounded like a good idea to me, so my boyfriend and I agreed to give it a try.

I moved to Indonesia at the end of 2011, first living in a small town in Sulawesi for a year, then moving to Jakarta. I’ve been there ever since. Jakarta is a hot, humid, smoggy metropolis with a population of around 10 million people. Walking is not only unpleasant but also difficult: footpaths are generally in a state of disarray, obstacles designed to stop motorbikes from using sidewalks are everywhere, and street-based sexual harassment just never seems to end. This means while I still try to walk as much as possible, I walk nowhere near as much here as I would do in Australia. Also, I hate the gym and refuse to go.

The Indonesian diet is also not only carb-heavy but oil- and sugar-heavy, too. Iced tea is served sweeter than soft drink, and snacks are often deep-fried. Much of this is to do with the fact that many people live on or below the poverty line; carbs are cheap and filling, while meat is expensive, especially beef. All of this ultimately led to me putting on around 15kg over the six years since first moving to Indonesia.

This is my experience trying a low carb diet in Indonesia. Your mileage may vary. It should be noted I’m not working full-time right now, so I have time to cook low-carb meals, which you may or may not be able to do. Also, I plan to return to eating carbs after six-to-eight weeks, as there is frankly just too much delicious food around to not do so.

Day 1: Monday

8am: I rifle through the cupboard, trying to find something for breakfast that doesn’t contain carbs. I find a half a packet of almonds, and scoff a handful down with a cup of milk tea.

9.15am: Arrive at a seminar on the new draft Criminal Code, only to be met by platters of cake and deep-fried snacks. I valiantly ignore them and have two cups of jasmine tea, no sugar. I feel smug.

12.30pm: Leave the seminar, still feeling smug but also very, very hungry. No time for lunch as I have to meet a friend for coffee at 1.30pm on the other side of town.

2.00pm: Make it to the coffee shop. Order what is described as a ‘grilled chicken and green leaf salad’, only to get some sort of Caesar salad filled with croutons and topped with a deep-fried breadcrumbed egg. The ‘greens’ are iceberg lettuce, and are covered in mayo. I hate mayo. I reluctantly eat a few mayo-drowned leaves and pick out the chicken. I have an iced chai to make me feel better (no sugar).

6.00pm: Starving. I didn’t think this through very well. Cook spiced chicken with a kind of chana masala, Indian chickpeas with pumpkin and spinach. I feel full for about half an hour then feel hungry again. Damn it.

7.00pm: Make some chia puddings with coconut milk (no sugar) for breakfast.

9.30pm: Boyfriend gets home from work, and eats his portion of dinner. We are both starving. We eat the chia puddings and make new ones for breakfast.

Day 2: Tuesday

8.30am: Chia pudding with blueberries, raspberries, and almonds for breakfast. I feel like such a bule (white person), eating all this unusual food. Also, berries are bloody expensive in Jakarta and I remember why I never buy them.

11.00am: Discuss lunch plans and go shopping. Buy every vegetable in sight including two ginormous bags of carrots for snacks.

1.00pm: Cook a green curry with beef, pumpkin, sugar snap peas, eggplant, and baby corn. Stare lovingly at the 5kg bag of rice on the shelf while waiting for the curry to cook.

1.30pm: I feel full but unsatisfied. Something is missing.

3.00pm: Eat a few fistfuls of carrot sticks while trying to come up with pitches to cover the Ubud Writers and Readers Festival in October. Get distracted looking at the food-related events rather than the speakers’ list.

6.00pm: Head out to go to an evaluation meeting for an event our community ran in August. Everyone brings food to share: JCo doughnuts (my fave!), pizza, bento boxes. Someone even makes a lemon drizzle cake. I hate everyone.

6.30pm: Another volunteer arrives with bags full of KFC. Chicken!! I take out the rice, put it to the side, and eat my chicken. I stay strong and manage to refuse all the doughnuts and slices of cake being passed around, even though it makes me want to cry. I love cake.

10.00pm: I get home to a very hungry boyfriend, who is over the moon when I present him with some KFC. I have a cup of tea.

Day 3: Wednesday

8.00am: Wake up feeling good. I can do this!

8.30am: Get out of bed and feel ravenous as soon as I stand up. Bugger.

9.30am: Cook a big breakfast with omelettes, bacon, sausages, mushrooms, and spinach. I hate eggs but force myself to eat them. (My mum hates them too; maybe it’s genetic?)

11.30am: We make a meal plan for the rest of the week, including the weekend. Decide to try making cauliflower rice this evening, as we are both craving rice like crazy.

12.30pm: Hungry again. My online order of roasted almonds hasn’t been delivered yet, so we have a small piece of dark chocolate each to keep us going.

3.00pm: Boil a huge bag of fresh edamame, which are very cheap, thanks to a large Japanese population in Jakarta.

6.00pm: Make a chicken, cashew, and vegetable stirfry. Cashews are oddly expensive in Indonesia, even though some regions such as Southeast Sulawesi grow literally tonnes of them. They must get exported instead. Eat it with cauliflower rice, which is shockingly delicious.

Day 4: Thursday

8.30am: Wake up feeling… surprisingly not hungry at all. Eat a chia pudding with some berries and almonds anyway before going to a meeting, where I drink only plain jasmine tea.

12.30pm: Heat up leftover stirfry and cauliflower rice from the night before. Three cacao-coated cashews for dessert.

2.30pm: Iced latte while working from a café. I try to ignore everyone eating rice and bread around me.

6.30pm: Cook Chinese tofu, eggplant and broccoli stirfry for dinner while chatting to a new kost mate. She is newly-married and impressed with my cooking skills. I tell her the secret: black vinegar.

8.00pm: Craving something sweet, so I have a kiwi fruit, which the internet has told me is comparatively low in carbs.

Day 5: Friday

8.30am: Chia pudding with berries and almonds.

12.30pm: Leftover stirfry. I barely feel hungry even before having lunch and don’t even want to kill anybody! This seems to be working.

2.00pm: Hang out with a friend for around three hours. She’s staying in a hotel with minimum facilities so I can’t even have a cup of tea with milk for a snack.

5.00pm: Ravenous. NOW I want to kill somebody. Anybody will do. Catch a motorbike taxi back to the kost from my friend’s hotel and almost cry whenever we drive past street food vendors. I get particularly distracted by a stall selling mie ayam pangsit – noodles with chicken and wantons – but convince myself to keep going.

5.30pm: Supermarket. Buy foodstuffs for dinner and, er, six pork gyoza. I scarf three of them down and leave the other three for my boyfriend. There can’t be that many carbs in dumpling skins, can there?

6.30pm: Cook Korean pork and vegetable stirfry with gochujang sauce for dinner. It is scrumptious and suddenly I don’t even care that there is no rice to eat it with.

The results

On day six, I weigh myself shortly after waking up. Turns out I’ve lost 1.5 kilos in five days and feel great. I’m as shocked as anyone, and commit myself to continue for at least four weeks. I cook more eggs, bacon, mushrooms, and spinach for breakfast, and I find myself daydreaming about rice, gudeg (stewed jackfruit), and chicken curry while I cook… Damn it! Indonesian food is just way too tempting.

[animalsoffarmsanctuary]

Happy Animal Sanctuary Caregiver Day to the Hardest-Working Group of Caregivers I Know!!

Although the first annual Animal Sanctuary Caregiver Day was actually 10 days ago, because we are all so incredibly busy doing that caregiving, I am posting this a week late. And although this may be a long blog post, in reality it doesn’t even touch the surface of the work and dedication of our amazing shelter team does each and every day — 365 days a year. 

Amy Gaetz with Bianca Giolitto bringing new life into the world and giving mom Julie a hand. Dipping Erin’s umbilical cord, giving him a boost of vitamin E and selenium, and ensuring he can nurse on his own was first priority. Our caregivers are there for each birth and ensure that nothing goes wrong!

Not only do they work hard, but they love hard — and so this job is not only physically demanding, but the responsibility is overwhelming at times. You have lives in your hands, and they are the lives of the most innocent beings that you have already grown to love — often from the moment you meet them.

Caleb Bachara does everything from being a farm assistant to maintenance projects, giving tours to volunteers, training volunteers, and helping out on transport and rescues. Here he is also showing his mad snuggling skills with Regina lamb!

And at Farm Sanctuary, we rescue some of the most abused animals in the world: animals used in food production. More than 70 billion land animals are slaughtered each year worldwide, with the U.S. numbers around 9 billion annually. 

Kim Kaspari with her new pal Junip Sydney, getting to know this little piglet and learning just who she is. Piglets like Junip start out at only 2-4 pounds, and by the end of three to four years of growing, weigh in the hundreds. Restricting their diet but also ensuring that they have pain management for early-onset arthritis, which is quite common with industrial pigs, is imperative for a long, healthy life!

And at Farm Sanctuary, we see each animal — from the smallest bantam rooster to the largest Holstein steer — as an individual, and we have worked for more than 30 years to learn exactly what they need to be treated as such.  

Jessica Due, caregiver at our Southern California shelter, with the tiniest of bantams, Peanut. 

Because many of these animals are genetically altered and selectively bred to have traits that make them more profitable in the industry (to the detriment of their health), they are predisposed to having special needs that only the most talented, highly trained, and dedicated caregivers can supply.

Maddie Cartwright showing love to her favorite species. These misunderstood animals, who are no longer like their distant wild cousins, have so much love to give — and like all animals, they let you know their needs if you just pay attention. 

Our healthcare caregivers are trained to help animals who are bred to live only a fraction of their normal lifespans live long, healthy, contented lives instead. So from birth until death — and our oldest animal lived to just over 30 years of age — our amazing shelter team provides the best medical, physical, and psychological care, always based on each animal’s individual needs

Northern California caregiver Teresa Lopes with sweet Rosa pig, a former gestation sow. From early arthritis to skin cancer, these pigs were not bred to be anything like their wild cousins and have health issues because of that breeding.  

Even in the egg and dairy industries, animals are killed at just a fraction of their natural lifespans. Our oldest layer industrial layer hen lived more than 15 years and our oldest dairy cow lived to be 30, while hens are normally slaughtered at 2.5 years in the egg industry and cows living between 4-5 years in industrial dairies have a far more stressful and short life then those we care for at our sanctuaries. 

Southern California Shelter Caregiver Brooke Marshall doing a bit of grooming on our boy William. This is a younger version of our now-very-tall boy. These Holstein males grow to be over a ton, but that is rarely seen in an industry that slaughters most of them before they reach even a year of age.

And male calves who come from the dairy industry have even shorter lives and are sold into veal and beef production, since they are useless to the dairy because they do not produce milk. The majority of the cattle from the dairy industry who call Farm Sanctuary home are the boys. 

Farm Assistant Erika Decker keeps these hosptial pens clean and sparkly — which is imperative when animals need to be kept inside due to illness, weather conditions, etc. Buildup of ammonia is a killer for our farm animal friends, and cleaning barns is a huge part of the well-being of our animal residents.

Most vets are therefore not trained to work with the animals who come to our sanctuaries, because a sick calf, cow, pig, goat, sheep or chicken is usually a dead one in the industry; money on individualized care takes away from profit, so desperately ill animals often die without receiving any veterinary care at all.

All new animals are under strict quarantine and Tuba Agbas, one of our Southern California caregivers, feeds the incoming and elderly Betty Rose, who arrived emaciated and in need of special feeds. 

But at Farm Sanctuary, chickens who would have been killed for meat at less than 2 months of age instead can live for years, and pigs who would have reached slaughter weight at 6 months can instead live happily for well over a decade.

Amy Gaetz with Wilhelmina, who, like many so-called “broiler” chickens, has had foot issues since her arrival and needed a middle toe amputated. These birds require not only very restricted and special feeds, but ongoing care to ensure that they are pain-free, healthy, and happy for the years they live with us.

This longevity is wonderful, but it also means that the animals have a chance to live long enough to experience the maladies and diseases their breeding has predisposed them to. It’s an enormous undertaking to keep them all comfortable, but daily treatments from our amazing caregivers make it possible — and the result is animals who are able to live long, happy, fulfilling lives despite the hands they’ve been dealt.

Daniel Singleton has a flock of admirers not even counting the turkeys. Daniel is now working out of our Watkins Glen facility, but he started out as an intern at our Southern California sanctuary and immediately joined our caregiving team there after the internship was completed.  

Every animal who arrives at one of our sanctuaries is immediately checked for any health issues, which are then addressed to ensure that an animal in distress does not suffer for another second. This often keeps caregivers going late into the night, but our dedicated team is here to provide the care that these animals have never known before their arrival at sanctuary. 

James Dumbleton and Tara Hess helping out with a blood draw on Chandini when she first arrived. We run all necessary tests on our incoming animals to ensure that they are healthy enough to be put in with our residents and also before we adopt them into homes. 

The daily work of our highly skilled caregivers has meant the difference between life and death more times than I can count. When Julia pig arrived in shock and ready to give birth, caregivers worked around the clock to ensure that each one of her 16 (!) babies (who’d been born a week premature) would get the vital colostrum they needed to start life right.  

Sarah Rappleye shows Julia pig the first real human kindness she has ever had. In shock, overheated, and frightened of people, Julia accepted this first drink of water and then collapsed.  

Julia was only able to nurse with half of her teats due to mastitis, so each baby was marked and monitored for time on mom. The family was monitored 24/7, and countless hours were spent getting half of the newborns to take milk without mom, and teaching them instead to lap milk off of cookie sheets, which ensured that every piglet had all the milk he or she needed. Our dedicated caregivers literally saved these piglets’ lives.

Jill Tedeschi and intern Will help Julia deliver her piglets. The birthing lasted hours into the night. Each of these piglets had to be put on a working teat in order to get colostrum. This was the first of a few weeks of round-the-clock care for a very exhausted Julia and 16 piglet children. 

This is just one of our hundreds of stories that have happy endings because of the commitment and compassion of our team of caregivers. Taking in animals is only the first step — the care and love they receive afterward is what sets this team apart from any other in the world.

Bianca Giloitto working with Bruce, one of the rescued goats from the backyard butcher in Hudson Valley.  

And the work doesn’t stop there. This same team keeps the sanctuary grounds perfect for visiting guests, and for the animals who call our sanctuaries home. At Farm Sanctuary, animals rescued from conditions where they’ve been locked in dark, ammonia- and feces-filled barns are able to live in light-filled, softly bedded, clean barns — often for the first time. 

Jim Dumbleton has been with us for years and years ensuring that the maintenance of the farm is completed and creating a habitat that is safe for our animal residents.  

Animals arriving with frostbite, or those who have overheated, are welcomed into their new homes with fans and coolers in the summer and draft-free housing in the winter. They are kept in predator-proof barns so they can sleep peacefully, free from fear.  

Farm Assistant Scott Curtis not only helps to keep the barns clean and safe, but also works with other farm assistants and projects folks at our Orland sanctuary in Northern California. 

Bo Katzakian is our newest farm assistant in Acton and a great giver of the belly rub — which, if you ask pigs like Jumper, is a prerequisite for hiring. He also keeps the barns clean and ammonia-free — a far cry from where most of these animals come from. 

Animals rescued from situations where they were picked on and injured by larger or more aggressive animals are instead placed in flocks or herds that meet their psychological needs as well as their physical ones. Having multiple pig herds, for example, is no easy task, but our pig residents are healthier and happier because of it. More herds means more work, but this team is up for any task that’s thrown at them — they’ll move heaven and earth to help these animals thrive.

Dana Penman, shown here as an intern with her goat pals from the Hudson Valley rescue. This crew, like so many, had very special needs and was bullied by other goats from the rescue, so they have formed a little family where they are happy and safe, as you can see by everyone’s love of a good time!

Our dedicated farm assistants, who are also part of our amazing shelter team and caregivers in their own right, transport animals from rescues, to veterinary hospitals, and to new adoptive homes — in fact, they put in more than 100,000 miles just last year.  

Kevin Weil coordinates our farm assistants and ensures that everything stays ship-shape on the farm. Like the postman — snow, rain, sleet, hail, high winds, etc., will not stop him or his crew from ensuring the animal areas are clean and safe!

All winter long in Watkins Glen, NY, our farm assistants weather the storm —  literally. With wind chills in the negative double digits and snow piling up feet at a time, this crew not only cleans the barn but ensures that the animals are safe and can get around without injury. At our California locations, try doing that same work in temperatures over 100 degrees. WOW!

Jason Klein, former intern and now farm assistant, showing some love to his favorite boy William sheep. William arrived during Jason’s internship and they became fast friends.

And although we carefully screen each potential adopter, we still transport every single animal we adopt out to his or her new home personally so that we can ensure that home will be a safe and happy place for the animal to live. 

Ashely Pankratz and Jill Tedeschi getting Pickles to take a bottle after her arrival. Ashley is part of our placement team, but also does shelter administration, all with kindness and compassion. She ensures that hundreds of animals who cannot come to Farm Sanctuary are placed in homes across the country. 

Our team drives from California to New York and every place in between for rescues and adoptions, and works with vets all over the country to ensure that we are giving our residents the best care possible.

Chad Richmond transporting Maurice goat to his new home in Orland. When Chad is not on a transport or rescue, he is ensuring that our farms are staffed and the day-to-day work of the maintenance and farm assistants team can be completed to make sure that our animal residents have the best lives possible. 

Beyond their already enormous day-to-day workload, our team is trained to deal with animal emergencies and in handling animals during even the most trying of times. 

Mario Ramirez carries Sasha calf from a local SPCA van to our trailer to be transported home to out Watkins Glen sanctuary. Besides carrying animals, Mario oversees the building, landscaping, and cleaning of our Watkins Glen facility and has done so for more than 10 years. 

When catastrophic flooding hit factory-farm-filled Iowa in 2008, our caregivers mobilized to rescue the only remaining pigs out of the tens of thousands who had perished in the flood waters — remaining in the state for weeks to ensure that each pig was safe and healthy enough for transport, then traveling back to the sanctuary, where the pigs received care for months afterward to get them healthy and ready to go to new homes. 

Jessica Due and Danielle Peterovich guide our sheep flock to the safety of our transport trailer to return home to the Southern California Shelter after it was evacuated due to proximity to the Sand Fire last year. 

Rescues like the 2015 backyard butcher case in Hudson Valley, NY, had caregivers setting out from our sanctuary at 5 a.m. and not returning until 1 the following morning. Because the rescue site was a vast area with insecure fencing, this rescue involved not just loading up animals, but setting up a safe way to contain them first, and then getting them onto our trailers. It also included triage, and sending the first groups of desperately ill animals to the hospital.

Farm Assistant Chris Vandussen and former caregiver Abbie Rogers with a tiny little John goat at the Hudson Valley backyard butcher rescue. 

There, they were met by other caregivers who’d brought with them healthy goats from our sanctuary to donate the blood that would help save these new family members. 

Hilary Woznica and Hemingway goat at our Orland shelter. Hillary has worked at both our Watkins Glen and Northern California sanctuaries. 

Vyolet Savage has a full-time job but plays a very vital role with the Daily Squeal gang. Here she is with Avery goat, who, along with his buddies, is living down the shore with Vyolet and company!

After all of that, they were up all night making sure that each animal was settled in and given any treatments they needed before a single caregiver went home to rest. And that same team was on the ground the very next day, continuing to treat these animals who had known nothing but sadness just days before. 

Selina Rodriguez doing a hoof trim on Barry. Hoof care and other maintenance care is part of the daily routine of our caregivers and is vital to the well-being our of animal residents.  

Rescue days are hectic and exhausting, but the hard work does not end that day. Instead, each day that follows requires that same level of commitment and care from these dedicated caregivers — and they provide it without hesitation.

Ben Hamilton is a farm assistant who always goes the extra mile and helps out with transport, sheep shearing, cattle hoof trimming, and anything we need. Here is is helping to move a very nervous mother Willow (I got to carry the little Josie Mae) to her new pen and pasture. 

Chris Vandussen, John Sykes, and Mario Ramirez come up with a game plan in the sheep barn — assisted by the supervisor Skye goat, who is in charge of the sheep barn and its residents.  

From cleaning the animals’ barns and living spaces to feeding them the best diets, from providing the treatments that allow them to thrive to transporting them or staying with them during vet visits, from ensuring that every need is met through all stages of an animal’s life to letting these beloved friends go when nothing more can be done — this is the life of a caregiver .

Sierra Sundeth, one of our Orland caregivers, insuring that one of the many Cornish crosses is getting his special diet. 

Our shelter team stacked and fed out more than 380 tons of hay — 760,000 pounds’ worth — to ensure that our ruminant animals were fed this past winter. They plow snow in New York and do hourly animal checks hourly to make sure everyone is faring well in the heat in California. 

When we agreed to take in Ferdinand sheep at our Northern California sanctuary we had no idea that just months later, his rescuer would do an internship with us and then join our Farm Assistant team. That is a good deal! Perry Snyderman, pictured with his buddy Ferdinand above, helps keep our barns clean and safe for our residents and ensures that they are always getting everything they need — including pears. 

They mow pastures, assist with the shearing more than 150 sheep, and trim hooves twice a year for around 100 cattle, and provide maintenance care for more than 1,000 animals between all of our locations, including all hoof trimming, nail trimming, full-body checks, and dispensing medications and vaccines. They handle worming, and do Famacha checks on goats and sheep every month. They conduct oral exams, clean ears, and check blood work and do fecal exams when needed.

Shane Stringfellow and Teresa Lopes working inspecting an injury. Shane is currently working as a farm assistant, but will be switching over to our healthcare team very soon. Teresa is one of our Northern California caregivers.

They give fluids to the dehydrated; tube-feed the weak animals unable to eat (from newborns to elderly chickens); treat chickens with reproductive cancers; drain peritoneal fluids from birds arriving with EYP (egg yolk peritonitis) and/or cancer; they do enemas on pigs; deal with aggressive animals (such as newly arrived bulls or young steers with behavior issues); and they can restrain and treat every animal on the property once fully trained in a way that causes no harm or pain to either animal or human.

Dara Wedel, former Watkins Glen intern and now our newest member of the caregiving team in Acton, is learning the daily routine with help from Nina sheep.

And we have developed protocols for treatments for every age group of animals as well. From the newly born to those who are at the end of their lives, we treat their individual needs with skill and love. 

Elder care is one thing we have learned to do well. Here, a very thin, elderly, and sick June Bug goat helps Jill Tedeschi pick out what she might like to eat for dinner.  

Between our sanctuary locations, more than 200 animals receive daily or twice-daily treatments, from pain management to ongoing care for problems they arrived with, including viruses or diseases that are lifelong. Some arrive pregnant, others arrive already in their golden years, but most arrive needing a whole lot of care.

Kat Thorpe with Albert, one of our donkey friends at the Orland sanctuary. Kat just moved to our Watkins Glen sanctuary from our Orland facility.  

Our caregivers engage with members of the public, telling the animals’ stories to help spread the word that each and every individual is worthy of compassion and respect. They know these animals intimately, and know what to look for to determine if one of them isn’t feeling well. 

Jill Tedeschi, Tara Hess, Abbie Rogers, and I speaking at an event at our Watkins Glen facility. We also hold a Farm Animal Care Conference, with the animal and sheltering portion led by myself along with Tara and Jill every September. It is a must-attend if you are interested in starting a sanctuary. 

Our entire shelter team will come to the sanctuary in the middle of the night when a large animal is down and we need all hands on deck. They deal with emergencies with every species, from the smallest bird to the largest bovine. They are the most dedicated people I know, and they inspire me every day. 

Our master-level caregivers are trained to provide a level of care that is second to none when it comes to farm animals. Here, a baby Hazelton, who could not suckle for days after his birth, is being tubed. Now at more than 220 pounds, you would never know that he was born dead, resuscitated, and had to have very intensive care for the first weeks of his life.  

And so every day I feel blessed to be with the most incredible animals on earth, but also the most selfless people, who come in early every morning and leave dirty and tired every night — only to get up and do it again. Because they know that those beings whom they are tasked with protecting deserve only the best individualized care we can give them.

Dean Adickes takes care of maintenance, but like all of our shelter team, also works directly with animals. Making a splint for an animal or creating a safer living space for any one of our residents is just part of his daily routine. 

Barbara Vitale, one of our Watkins Glen farm assistants, is like all of the staff who provides daily care for our animals. Isaac sure appreciates the daily neck scratching too!

Erika Hultquist, one of our new caregiver assistants in Watkins Glen, is learning the ropes from our boy Valentino! So far, so good, according to him. 

Luke Hess, former caregiver, is now the photo/video genius at our Watkins Glen shelter. This photo was taken during his caregiving days, and when we have an emergency, he often still jumps in to help!

With more than 70 billion farm animals being killed worldwide for food each year, having healthy, happy, secure, and loved representatives of their species living at our sanctuaries allows us to help people make the connection between these animals and the ones who aren’t as lucky, and show that each and every farm animal is someone, not something. Our caregivers allow this to happen day in, day out, and we are so thankful for them each and every day!

Tracey Stewart fills in whenever needed and has done so much for her farm animal friends.

Caregiver-in-the-making Maggie, pictured here with Anita horse, has even read books to the incoming animals who are not used to their new surroundings. She has a natural way with all of them.

  Thank you GFAS for celebrating animal caregivers and making this an annual event, which we will definitely be                                     celebrating from now on!

Bringing the babies home following evacuation from the Sand Fire in Southern California, Daniel Singleton giving a relieved welcome home to big boy Bruno. The caregivers never left the sides of our animal residents during the evacuation and even slept at the evacuation sites to make sure they were okay. 

Dana Penman helped raise this little bundle of joy, who is nearly 800 pounds now and will eventually weigh well over a ton. It is amazing when a baby arrives and can have the same caregiver throughout the many stages of his life. Gary clearly loves his human mother right back!

Tuba and Kerrie at our Southern California location doing a foot wrap on one of our industrial Cornish hens. These girls, although on a restricted diet, still get so large that they are prone to pressure sores on their hocks and feet, which, if not properly treated, can become infected.  

Totes goat getting a trim with caregivers Sierra, Amy, and Hillary.

Amy cleaning up and bandaging the post-operative surgical site on Peepers.

Oakley cow getting a much-needed sweat wrap on her inflamed knee with Kate and Kat.

Caleb and volunteer pal Kat Von D showing how maintenance work can be fun!

Kate overseeing the arrival of Emma after her rescue from the side of the road. 

Sierra carefully wrapping one of our older hens’ feet. 

Alicia and her duckling fans.

All smiles for Kat and goat pal Dana!

Kerrie holding a post-op Regina.

Violet sheep getting the love and snuggles she deserves from Kim, Brooke, and Daniel. 

Appreciation given to our volunteer caregiver Kim Kaspari at our Southern California location. 

Daniel and Brooke, just another day of caregiving.

More kisses at the evacuation site. Jessica reassures Mo sheep that everything will be okay.

Alicia with her rescued lamb friend Regina.

Alicia and Paul Harvey hugging during the evacuation during the Sand Fire.

Perry in the sheep barn with Bleu, keeping his friends’ barns as clean as possible. 

Maggie making sure her friend Anna gets cooled down. 

Tracey and tiny pal Cecilia.

Vyolet strikes a pose with one of our beautiful Watkins Glen turkey girls. 

Hillary feeding the pigs in Watkins Glen, where she worked before moving out to our Orland facility. 

Elise and sheep friend Bleu pose for a shot.

A beautiful Noel goat with his caregiver pal Amy at our Orland sanctuary.

Shane and his waterfowl pal Pip.

Dean on the scene making things well constructed and clean!

Teresa Lopes with new boy Napoleon, having a bit of fun during the work day.

A very beloved and missed Alexander with me surrounded by giant pals Tweed and Moo. 

Amy Gaetz and a very young Ari strike a pose during the work day.

Kevin taking a break to check out his pal Francis sheep.

Mario and Tara bringing home newborn babies Jenny and Forest from Cornell.

Tara surrounded by newly rescued dairy goats Phoebe, Babs, and Carmen.

John Sykes, our Watkins Glen Maintenance staffer, always has a smile while he works. 

Bianca making sure every one of her feathered friends gets the best possible care. 

Tara Hess and Chris VanDusen bringing Jerome home to meet his new family. 

Chris working hard keeping the barns clean.

Sarah bringing home new babies Henry and Lola.

Amy Gaetz with the triplets, Duncan, Tove, and Thomas, ensuring they get the proper diet to start out their lives. 

Collecting hay samples! Jim and Tara making sure our ruminants get the best food possible!

[shannrussell-blog1]

A 4WD adventure with basic food prep facilities and limited food storage doesn’t mean you need to go without tasty meals. I’m not suggesting you serve up 3-course gourmet dinners every night, but there are plenty of ways that you can enjoy wholesome, tasty food at camp.

My trips usually take me to beautiful but isolated areas, the sort of place where at the very best you may be able to pick up some fruit or vegetables in a can… yuck! So in order to avoid bland gruel in a pot each night, I have come up with a number of tips to help you prepare quick, easy and tasty camp meals.

I attempt to ensure any meal on my meal plan meets at least two of these requirements:

Tasty

Nutritious

Easy to cook

Limited ingredients from the fridge

Quick to prepare

On top of this, the following tips are important for long camping and 4WDing trip?

Storage

Our Land Cruiser has a full drawer system in the rear along with a decent sized tub for food and a smaller tub for snacks. Any storage solution you use (food packaging included) needs to be of decent quality, as things do get bounced around in the back of a 4WD. Sometimes you can’t avoid glass containers, so pad them out with rubber, tea towels or anything that will absorb the shock.

Items that need cooling

A 12V fridge/freezer in the back of your 4WD makes a world of difference. If your budget doesn’t allow for this then an esky with ice will work for up to a week, which can be quite effective if you apply a few tricks of the trade. You can take fresh meat, have cold drinks and take more perishable items along with you. That said, fridge and freezer space becomes a premium, and you have to do everything you can to fit it all in.

Last year, we travelled for 5 weeks in the Kimberley and split our 55-litre Evakool fridge into a half freezer/half fridge. We managed to take 5 weeks worth of meat in the freezer and picked up fresh produce wherever it was available.

Rather than fresh milk we took about 35 litres of long life milk, as one bottle was running out, we would pop another one in the fridge to cool down.

Taste and nutrition

A tasty meal is a great way to finish a day of adventure, and nutritious food prepares your body for the next. The trick is to find meals that combine taste and nutrition with ease of preparation, preferably containing ingredients that require minimal cold storage. We have made everything from sushi to roast meals, chicken pesto pasta, BBQ’s and teriyaki chicken on our adventures.

Easy dish with plenty of colour. Pilbara, Western Australia.

Variety

You won’t be looking forward to a bowl of 2 minute noodles a few days in if that’s all you’ve packed for your trip, not to mention that they are pretty average for your health. Having variety means you’ll look forward to each meal, rather than it just being a means to an end.

Switching up what we eat when is worth considering too. If you don’t plan on leaving the campsite for the day, then it may be easier to prepare a big roast lunch during sunlight hours, and keep dinner simple so there is minimal pack up before departure the next day.

Longevity

Food with a long shelf life is your friend on a long 4WD trip… food with a long shelf life that does not require refrigeration is your best friend! Think UHT milk, tinned tuna, canned lentils & beans and pretty much anything that is dehydrated or preferably freeze dried.

Bread is a staple that makes food preparation pretty easy, there’s not much you can’t slap between a few slices to make a sandwich, but it just doesn’t last, especially in warmer regions. Any bread we take is consumed during the first few days for lunch, if we want more then we make it on the go, bread baked in a camp oven is pretty special.

Wraps are fantastic alternatives. They last for ages, taste good and can be used with a myriad of fillings. Turkish bread and pizza bases last well too.

Ease of cooking

I try and keep meal preparation to under 30 minutes. Food preparation space is likely to be limited in the campsite. If the meal requires more than 2 pots or pans, it’s too complicated!

You’ll find food tastes better when you are camping anyway, leave the 5-course degustation menu for an evening meal when you are at home!

Fresh seafood

If you can catch it, we are in. From delicious blue manna crabs to fish and crayfish, we eat a huge amount of seafood when travelling. This reduces the need to take as much meat, and you get to eat delicious, fresh seafood instead!

What can you do at home?

Preparation of your food at home will save you a massive amount of time and effort while you are on the road.

1. Repackage and marinate

One of the first things we do when preparing for a long 4WD trip is to remove the packaging and divide food up into the portions required for each meal. This also means you don’t have excess rubbish to deal with and you save on fridge space.

If a freezer is not an option, then vacuum sealing your meat makes it last substantially longer in a fridge. Most butchers will do this for free.

Any meat that is going to be marinated can be done at home before you freeze or vacuum seal it. The marinade has longer to be absorbed, and it’s one less messy job for the campsite!

2. Premix any dry ingredients

Where a meal requires a mix of spices or dried vegetables, combine them in a zip lock bag and label it before you leave. It’s so much easier to do this at home than out bush. And it’s easy to grab it from your food tub when it comes time to prepare your meal.

3. Cook in advance

We always cook a few meals prior to departure. Soup or the mince and sauce ready for a spaghetti bolognese are easy to prepare at home and even easier to warm up on the campfire.

Not a bad set up for dinner with family & friends. Holland Track in Western Australia.

Planning your meals

I hate the thought of being locked into cooking something that won’t satisfy my culinary cravings, so it’s important to allow for some flexibility in your meal plan. For a 3 week trip, we plan for 21 days of breakfasts, lunches and dinners. Plus a few extra meals and some emergency tinned rations. Each morning we consult our taste buds and make sure the ingredients for the chosen meal will be defrosted and made accessible for that night.

Breakfast

For breakfast, we try to keep it fast and simple, and will usually eat cereal or oats. If we have more time, we will do pancakes, bacon and eggs, fruit and custard or omelettes.

Lunch

Our midday meal is often bread or wraps, with salad, cheese and meat (ham, beef, salami or tuna). Our salad is cucumber, tomato, alfalfa sprouts and mayonnaise. Other options are a cup of noodles or soup, mee goreng, hamburgers or toasties and crackers.

Dinner

For dinner, you have a huge range of options; Soft tacos, roast beef, sushi, fish and chips (get a chip cutter!), stir-fry, nachos, steak, chicken katsu curry, chops and vegetables, hamburgers, satay chicken, a BBQ, spaghetti bolognese or anything else that tickles your fancy. We will have dessert a couple of times a week, which is usually fruit and custard, golden syrup dumplings, damper or scones.

What food do we take?

Here are some of the more common items found in our fridge and camp pantry.

Tinned food: Beetroot, sweet corn, baby corn, pineapple, mixed fruit, tuna, spaghetti, tomatoes, baked beans and corn.

Fresh produce: Cucumber, alfalfa sprouts, tomatoes, apples, oranges, onions, potatoes, carrots, pumpkin, snow peas and baby corn.

Snacks: Nuts, dried fruit, muesli bars, BBQ noodles, fruit.

All this food preparation can be daunting at first. But the more you do it the easier it gets, and the more adventurous you become. The smell and taste of a roast lamb or chicken curry cooked over an open fire is incredibly satisfying, especially when you have planned and prepared it yourself. Take the time to get it right and you’ll have a fantastic holiday.

Everyone seems to have their own camping food hack, what’s your secret to easy food preparation in the bush?

The post Meal Planning for Outback 4WD Adventures appeared first on Snowys Blog.

[jstar97]

Writing Prompt: You’d never believe me

So I got the writing prompt “You’d never believe me,” from @somethingmoreclever (thanks btw and hope you like it) and this story came out of it but I’ve been kind of chicken to post it. So, here it is. And if you have a *cough* helpful *cough* or *cough* constructive *cough cough* critique or want to say something positive, then please go ahead. Also, anyone who has sent me a prompt, I’m working on it and thanks :)

________________________________________________________________

I'm passed out on my bed, sleeping on top of papers, books, and pens when I feel something large and soft slap me in the face. A pillow. My roommate, more dreaming than awake, mutters, "Eggs."

I whine, "Why me?"

"Because my paper's due at 12 P.M. and you're free today."

Figures. As I push myself out of bed, crumpling color-coded notes and over-priced textbooks in the process, I grumble, "Never telling you my schedule again."

I grab my wallet, walk out the door and down eight flights of stairs, past the front desk to the bus stop. The driver today is Lena. All smiles, she asks, "Trouble getting up, Sunshine?"

"Huh? How'd you guess?"

"First of all, you don't usually take the bus on Fridays and second…well, you didn't look at yourself this morning, did ya?"

She hands me her compact and points to the chair behind hers. It's only then I realize why I got so many funny looks at the stop. My hair is in knots and tangles and there's a white strip of dried drool  running down the corner of my mouth. Plus, I was still wearing my Pikachu onesie and matching slippers. You know, the ones that go "Pika, pika," if you stomp your feet. After handing back the mirror, I check my breath. Crap, forgot to brush my teeth. It was a mistake to eat everything-on-it pizza with extra garlic sauce last night. Pulling the hoodie up, I slouch and cross my arms.

Finally, my stop. I race out of the bus, jumping through the sliding doors and over wet floor signs until I'm at the back of the grocery store. "Ha," I groggily laugh, "Eggs in the Dairy Section."

There's cheese, butter, margarine. But no eggs. Not even those expensive free-range ones.

A stock clerk is shelving out butter where the eggs should be. "Um, excuse me -" He turns and smirks. "Dude, Comic Con was last week."

"Haha, you're hilarious."

"Ooh, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Whatcha do, get stuffed in a Pokeball?"

"Look, you wanna help or should I call the manager? I need eggs, man, so I can hibernate till Monday."

"We don't have any."

"Really? A grocery store that doesn't have one carton of eggs at 9 A.M.? Not even in the back?"

"Nope."

"I'm just gonna check with the manager -"

"No!" He yells abruptly. "I mean, did you say eggs? I thought you said pegs -"

"Because it makes perfect sense that I ask for pegs while standing in the Dairy Section -"

"Come with me." We walk to the "Employees Only" door.

"Um, I'm not supposed go in there."

"I'll let them know you're with me." I want to go back to bed as soon as possible so I go in.

We went in. It was pitch black. "Hey, where's the - ?"

Next thing you know, I'm pushed into a giant cell and fall on something soft. Someone turns on a light switch. It looks like most of the employees are here.

"Hey, how'd you get into this?" Sam, who's usually at the cash register, asks. From the coffee in his hand, I could tell that he must have got caught up in this when he came here for his break.

"Eggs."

I look down and realize that the soft something was actually a very annoyed someone. Nina, to be exact. We're both in Linear Algebra.

"Do you mind getting off of me?"

"Oops, sorry."

After we get up, she asks, "You've been coming here for two years and it didn't occur to you once that he's new?"

By 'he', she means the jerk who brought me here. He looks the same, mostly. I mean he's still wearing the uniform and that sarcastic smile.

But his skin is now purple and his eyes are blood-red.

"Huh, that's new. Am I on one of those hidden camera shows?" My fellow prisoners shake their heads. "Back to your question, Nina, am I supposed to memorize everyone's name? By the way, hi Bob, Larry, Leia, John, Sharon, Aaron and Phoebe. Oh, and Phil's in the back? Hi Phil! We're still on for chess next Tuesday, right?"

"Yup. Nice onesie by the way!"

Nina raises her eyebrows. "Okay, fine, I know everyone's names. Sue me. But how was I supposed to know you guys didn't hire someone new?"

I turn back to our captor. "Hey, Purple-Face - nope, that would be rude. Do you have a name? I mean, I was kinda crabby earlier and I'm really trying to -"

"For Pete's sake, he locked us in a cell!"

"I am Autoraun 319, an android from the planet you Earthlings call '55 Cancri e'. My model is the most advanced of its kind. I can change appearance, am virtually indestructible, can display over 4250 different emotions, and can process information at lightning speed, allowing me to assimilate with the surrounding population. I also can fly and have an arsenal of weaponry at my disposal. Since I am so powerful, only one of me was need for my important mission."

"And that is?"

"Collecting a rare but powerful nutrition source for the people of my planet -"

"Human brains?!?" Sam panics, dropping some of his coffee on my slippers.

Autoraun rolls his - its - eyes. "Human brains are neither rare nor nutritious. I'm talking about chicken eggs."

We all burst out laughing.

"I'm telling ya, this has gotta be a hidden camera show!"

"I've never heard of anything stupider in my life!"

"What's next? You'll want to steal our milk and cookies too?"

After a minute or so, when the android's glowering intensifies, we realize that he may have laser eyes and stop immediately.

"So," I start, "Why not just take chickens? That way you'll have a constant source of this source."

"You mean those tiny feathered monsters? Are you out of your mind? When they had been plentiful, they destroyed wiring, tore up the ground, and dodged laser blasters at breakneck speed. Plus, they defy all semblance of logic so we disintegrate them. Unfortunately, in our zeal, we forgot to keep a few for egg production."

Nina is furious. "Are you telling me I'm stuck in a crate instead of working my minimum wage job because your idiot overlords can't handle a couple of chickens?!?"

The android nods.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I have to collect all of these eggs. And when I get back, I'll - "

"Eliminate us?!?" Sam and his paranoia.

"No. We're civilized. I'll just wipe your brains. There's a fifty percent chance that you'll lose your minds in the process but surely your doctors have the facilities to bring it back to order."

"Ha!" Nina shoots back, "Not with our healthcare. And you said you did your research."

The android leaves.

"Okay," I start, "So what kind of cage are we in?"

"Steel, with an electronic lock." Sharon observes, "Not a very good one too, since the back of the control panel is easy to reach from my side. These aliens really underestimate us." I squeeze by Leia, Larry, and Aaron to see that back's screwed in. "If only we had a - " As I reach into my pockets, I feel a bunch of miscellaneous objects.  I pull out some soft caramels, half of a chocolate bar, an assortment of screws, and a Phillip's head screwdriver. "Perfect!"

Everyone turns to me. "I'm an ME, remember? And onesies are great for late night projects…and I get hungry."

Unscrewing the back reveals intricate wiring. "So, what now, ME?" Sam asks, sipping his cold coffee.

"Uh, I don't know. An EE would be better for this but honestly, I don't even think they would have a clue. Different planet, different wiring systems and designs - but similar problems! Can I have your coffee?" Sam hands it over to me. "Stand back! If this works, there'll be sparks everywhere. If it doesn't work, the aliens have perfected waterproofing electrical components, so good on them."

"If they're still afraid of bringing in chickens because of how much damage they've caused than I doubt that they've made any huge advancements."

"Okay, here goes!" And I quickly throw the coffee onto the circuit board and try to get as far as possible.

Good news, it worked! We hear a click and race out of there.

Bad news, the cage isn't that big. As we all run out, I realize that my onesie, part of my hair, and slippers are on fire! As I stop, drop, and roll on the hard concrete ground, Nina gets the fire extinguisher and sprays me.

"Thanks," I say as Nina and Sam help me up. "Now, let's get that android."

___________________________________________________________________________________

We know why Autoraun left George - the manager - alone. It wants to know the different times of the eggs were coming in and could masquerade like all of us. No one would be the wiser. We sneak around, looking for the android (and creeping out shoppers in the process) when we spot Autoraun. It looks like the jerk in the dairy isle and was at the cashier with a customer. As soon as she leaves, George takes it aside.

(Side note: Do I call Autoraun "him" or "it"? I mean, I know Autoraun's an android who doesn't have a gender as far as I know - that's a complicated talk in the immerging world of Artificial Intelligence - and Autoraun did lock us in a cage but 'it' sounds so rude. I'm going back to 'he'.)

Anyway George takes him aside. "Between the customers fleeing like rats off the Titanic and most of my employees AWOL, it's nice to see a dedicated young individual like yourself. Tell me, son, what's your name?"

"Otto, sir." He replies demurely. Seems like his sass left the motherboard.

"Now Otto, you wanted to see me."

"Yes, sir. I was wondering if you can tell me when the next shipment of eggs was coming in. We're all out."

George's eyebrows go up. "We just had a huge shipment this morning. Is there an omelet cook-off that I didn't here about because I make a mean Western -"

"No sir," Autoraun interrupts. "I guess people are just valuing their nutritional value."

"Huh, must have been something on the news. People these days, with all their crazy fades and doodads. In my day, we just relied on good old exercise and clean living -"

"This is all really fascinating but there are customers to help. When will the next eggs get here?"

"Oh, at 11. But let's go in the back. There have got to be some eggs around."

"I've already checked."

"The back can be a confusing place, especially when you're new. Let's check it out."

Autoraun cracks his knuckles. George enthusiastically does the same. "Oh, it's so nice to meet a fellow knuckle cracker. You know, people used to say it knuckle cracking causes arthritis but my doctor friend says that's not true…"

As George rambles on, I notice tiny sparks at the tips of his fingers. "He'll zap George!" I whisper, "Quick, get him!"

Nina, Bob, and Sam pull George away just as he was about to strike. Simultaneously, Aaron and Leia grab him by the arms and Larry and Sharon grab his legs and push him to the ground. Autoraun is so shocked that his purple skin and red eyes come back. He recovers quickly and throws them off. Not knowing what else to do, I pull out my screwdriver and grab his neck from the back. He tries to shake me off,  knocking me against various shelves and counters in the process.

"Th-is mus-ust b-e ho-w a- bul-lrid-ddd-er fe-els!"

"There are more ways than one to get rid of a pest!" The android's exoskeleton starts heating up, burning off more of the polyester from my onesie and the arm wrapped around his neck. I grit my teeth when I notice a small section on the base of his head with one screw keeping it in place.

"He-e-eelp! P-i-in hi-m do-wn!"

"Don't you mean 'it'?"

"Sam, really? Let's get in there! One…two…three…go!" Sam and Nina pin him to the ground long enough for me to unscrew the cover. He throws us all off.

"Quick, it's open! Get water, cola, anything liquid!" Phil directs. All around Autoraun, employees open up various bottles and unleash their wet, mostly artificially colored vengeance. Autoraun sputters and smokes before bursting into flames. Nina is again handy with a fire extinguisher.

We cheer as though we just survived Armeggedon.

"We did it!"

"We defeated an alien - "

"Android! But it's from space so technically an alien android!"

"We saved the world - from a shortage of eggs, maybe, but we still saved the world!"

George cut into our celebration. "COULD SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?"

Nina explained. After five minutes of silence, George asked, "So what should we do now?"

I answered, "Probably get the government to look into this. But that's your problem, not mine." I check the wall clock, "It's egg-actly 11 A.M. Can I have two dozen?"

George gets a text on his phone and goes to the back. A few minutes later, he brings back a box of those fancy cage-free, Eggland's best stuff. "This is kinda expensive. Have anything cheaper?"

"It's on the house."

"I can't -"

"Come on, you helped save my workers and my eggs. It's literally the least I could do. Is there anything else you want?"

"A pic with the android - crap, I left my phone at home. Could someone take one for me?"

Phil raises his hand. "I'll do it. Chess match still on?"

"Chess match still on."

Before I left, George stops me. "Hey, can you keep this between us? I don't wanna be in more trouble than I already am. Who'd come to a store with killer androids?"

"A lot of college students, actually. But I promise, what happens in the grocery store, stays in the grocery store. Thanks for the eggs!"

I grab the bus back (getting even more stares than I did this morning) and walk up eight flights of stairs. When I open the door, I see my roommate on her bed surfing the web.

"Where were you? I finished my paper an hour ago -"

She looks up, eyes widening. "What the heck happened to you?" At this point, my onesie, slippers and hair are singed and wet and I smell like coffee and burnt flesh.

I hand her the carton of eggs before going to the bathroom to clean my arm.

"Well, what happened?" She asks again.

I grit my teeth and I wash and sanitize the wound. After wrapping it in gauze, I lift my head, pull up my hoodie, and burst out laughing at the sight of my reflection.

"You'd never believe me."

[themoneybuff-blog]

Food waste and food consumption in the United States

I've been thinking a lot lately about how much food I consume (and waste). I'm not happy with how I shop and eat, and it's not just because I'm fat right now. I don't like what I'm eating and I don't like how much food I'm throwing out. Food waste is a huge problem in the United States. Most studies find that Americans waste about one-third of all food that enters the supply chain. This is insane. And when you consider that food spending is the third-largest component of the average American budget, this is a great place for most folks to boost their budget. According to the 2017 Consumer Expenditure Report, the average household spends $7,729 per year ($644.08 per month) on food. If, as the USDA reports, 31% of the average family's food goes to waste, that's the equivalent of burning $2395.99 per year ($199.67 per month). For most families, $200 per month is a big deal. That can be the difference between deficit spending and earning a profit. That $200 per month could be enough to purchase a new car or to afford better health insurance. Today, I want to think out loud about food consumption and food waste in my own life.

This article is unusual in that I'm not going to try to offer any solutions. Instead, I'm simply going to share some observations, and I'm going to divide these observations into bite-sized chunks. If you have solutions to food waste, however, I'd love to hear them. Fun with Friends Kim and I spent this past weekend in central Oregon with some of my best friends from high school. Every year, this group of twelve rents a big house for three or four nights so that we can sit around, reminisce, and enjoy a few days without kids. As is typical with gatherings like this, each couple is in charge of one meal. For instance, Kim and I were responsible for Saturday morning's breakfast. As is also typical for gatherings like this, there's always a ton of food left over. It's tough to estimate how much a group is going to eat. So, even though we did our best to not have leftovers, there were plenty of eggs and ham and biscuits remaining after Kim and I cooked our meal. Every other couple struggled with the same thing. We always do. Yesterday as we were packing to come home, our group marveled at how much food was still in the fridge. Honestly, we could have hosted another long weekend for twelve without having to buy groceries. (Okay, we needed more coffee. We ran out of coffee yesterday morning. Mennonites drink a lot of coffee.) I was pleased to see that our group made a deliberate effort to not waste any of our leftovers. Kristin sent Kim home with the leftover rhubarb sauce. (Kim loves rhubarb!) We sent Kristin home with the leftover ham and the hambone. Kara grabbed the unopened beer. And so on. I've spent time with some groups that would have simply thrown this food out. We didn't do that. Food Storage in the Motorhome During our fifteen months exploring the U.S. by RV, Kim and I had limited space for food storage. We had one (very) small refrigerator and one (very) small set of cabinets for dry goods. We learned quickly that we had to be intentional about the food we bought to keep on hand. The fridge always contained milk and beer, plus whatever meat and salad fixings we needed for the next few days. The cupboard contained rice, pasta, and a few pre-packaged meals. We learned to keep a mental (and written) inventory of what stock items were depleted. If I ate a can of bean with bacon soup, I knew I had to replace it. When we got down to two days worth of rice, we made a point to buy more. At first, this limited storage space was frustrating. It didn't take long, however, to learn that rather than being a problem, this limited storage was freeing. We had less food to worry about. We had fewer choices to make. We always knew what food we had on hand and when we intended to use it. When we returned home to Portland, the fridge in the condo seemed ginormous. Who needed that much cold storage? Not us! For a few weeks, we did a terrific job of maintaining the habits we'd learned on the road. Each afternoon, I'd walk to the store to buy whatever we needed for that evening's meal. We didn't stock up on staples. We simply bought what we needed for the immediate future. Slowly, though, we reverted to our old habits. The fridge became filled with meat and greens and leftovers. After our first trip to Costco no need to ever go to Costco when you're on the road in an RV our cupboards were stocked with beans and rice and cereal and coffee and pre-packaged meals. Two years ago, we moved from that condo (a place with ample storage space) to this much-smaller country cottage. Here, our kitchen storage is limited. In fact, it's so limited that we couldn't store all of the food we had at the condo. We had to give some away and put the rest in the trash. Now, we walk a fine line. We try not to have a lot of staples on hand, but at the same time we like to save money by buying our favorite items in bulk. Most days, I eat a can of Nalley's chili for lunch, for instance. At Safeway, this typically goes for $2.39 per can. If I buy a case of twelve at Costco, I can get it for less than $1.00 per can. (Don't quote me on that price. My memory may be off. It's low, though.)

All the same, we waste too much food. Every week, we find something that's gone bad. Maybe it's a package of salami that got buried under something else. Maybe it's some vegetables that never got used for their intended recipe. Maybe it's a jar of salsa that's managed to mold. Kim and I hate wasting food. Yet we do it. And it's largely because we have too much on hand at any given time. We forget what we have. Or we have so much that we can't possibly eat it all. It's a problem. But I know it's not a problem that's unique to us. A Tiny Fridge Twenty years ago, I knew a young couple that lived in an apartment with a small dorm-sized refrigerator. I thought it was funny at the time. You don't have space to store anything! I said when I first saw it. We like it, the told me. It forces us to make decisions about what we're going to buy. We can't just stock up on everything. We have to be deliberate. I didn't get it. Similarly, my friend Sparky never kept much food on hand. I thought it was weird. When I'd visit him, his fridge would contain maybe a carton of eggs, a head of lettuce, and a carton of milk. His cupboards would be bare except for a loaf of bread and a box of cereal. Where's your food? I asked him once. Sparky shrugged. I only buy what I need, he said. I hate that I have to buy a dozen eggs. I'd rather buy only two. I wish I could buy just two slices of bread at a time. I don't want a fully-stocked pantry. For one, it feels oppressive. It's too much Stuff. Plus, I think it leads to food waste. A Colossal Waste Eight years ago, my mother's mental health problems reached a crisis point. She was in a state of constant disorientation and confusion. (Actually, she's still in this state.) After she drove her car through the back of her garage, my brothers and I moved her into an assisted-living facility. As we cleaned her house during the next few weeks, we were shocked by how much food she had. This single 63-year-old woman had enough on hand to feed a family of five for weeks. Or months. But the sad part was that so much of the food was expired or spoiled. The biggest surprise was a collection of spices from the 1970s. She had eight-year-old mayonnaise in the fridge. She had multiple opened jars of salsa. The pantry which my grandfather had built to store my grandmother's copious canning was stocked with cans and cans of Costco tuna fish. We salvaged as much of the food as we could, taking it home for ourselves. Most of it had to be thrown out. Eating Like Europeans This Saturday, I'm flying to Europe to travel again with my cousin Duane. Thankfully, he's still with us and he's feeling healthy enough to explore France for a couple of weeks. Duane and I both love how Europeans buy food. (Or, how we believe they buy food. Our perception may not match reality, and we know that.) There are supermarkets in Europe, but they're not the megastores we see here in the U.S. And when people shop, they don't buy for weeks at a time. They buy for days at a time. Or one day. They buy what they need for the immediate future. Here in the U.S., we tend to have personal larders designed to satisfy any possible want at any possible moment. Plus, Europe has many more small, single-purpose shops. Duane and I had a ton of fun in December talking with this gal in Strasbourg who ran a cheese shop. She loved cheese, and she loved sharing it with us:

Want some meat? Stop by the butcher to pick some up. Want a few tomatoes? Stop by the produce stand. Need bread? Head across the street to the bakery. And so on. Stores like this do exist in many parts of the U.S., but they're almost always gourmet specialty shops targeting a high-end clientele. Plus, they're few and far between. You have to drive from the butcher to the bakery to the produce stand. From what I've seen of Europe, you can find these shops almost anywhere big cities and small. And they're meant for everyone, not just the wealthy. Again, my perception might be tainted. I might be viewing things through rose-tinted tourist glasses. But I'm willing to wager that European food waste is much less than that of the United States. Too Much Dessert Crap, Kim said as she rushed out the door this morning. It's her first day back to work after five weeks off for knee surgery. We still have those beignets. They're going to go to waste. Last Saturday night, our group of friends went out to eat at a fancy restaurant. Kim and I ordered beignets for dessert. We thought that for $8, we'd get a modest-sized portion that she and I could split. Instead, we got five large pastries. We couldn't finish them. We took them back to the rental house with the intention of eating them later. But we haven't eaten them. And now, as Kim said, they're probably going to end up in the trash. Looking Forward What does all of this mean for me? If I think I buy and waste too much food, how can I change? Is there a way I can change my food consumption to improve both my waistline and my wallet? Relating these anecdotes has helped me to understand that yes, I can (and should) change how I'm buying and storing food. Doing so would help me eat better. Plus, it'd help us feel less cramped in our kitchen. Last autumn, I wrote about re-writing my financial blueprint so that I'm buying things based on actual needs rather than potential wants. At the time, I was thinking about books and garden tools. But the same principle applies to food. The fundamental problem in our lives is that we buy food based on potential wants. not immediate needs. We might want to have pasta next week, so we buy noodles and tomato sauce and meat. We might want to have a big salad this weekend, so we stock up on vegetables and greens. We often prep a charcuterie board for dinner we did so last night! so we try to keep a variety of cheese and salami on hand. But what happens when we go weeks without doing this? Well, the meat and cheese goes to waste. Lack of waste was one of the huge advantages to my recent HelloFresh experiment. When you open a recipe bag, you know you're going to get only what you need to make this meal and no more. You won't end up with a bag of carrots that turns rubbery because they got buried in the produce crisper. They give you the one carrot you need to make your salad.

I'm not ready to go back to HelloFresh, but I think there are other changes I can make to improve my consumption and waste habits. I'd be well-served by returning to how I was prepping meals after we returned from our RV trip. Instead of keeping a ton of stuff on hand, I ought to be making daily decisions about what to eat. Except for my canned chili which I probably eat three to five times per week I shouldn't be stocking up on anything at Costco. This change won't be as easy here in the Stafford hills as it would be in urban Portland. At the condo, I could walk to buy groceries. It was quick. It was simple. Here, the nearest stores is more than a mile away. And we live in a very hilly area. It takes 20+ miles to walk there. Still, even this is an opportunity. I'm fat right now. If I were to walk to Safeway at three every afternoon, I could be home by four with whatever groceries I needed for dinner. I'd burn about 250 calories in the process and I'd get time to decompress. Now that the sunny weather is here (and will remain until October), I don't really have any excuse. Maybe I can't live in my idealized European fashion, but I could certainly try to integrate some aspects of that lifestyle into my own. All it'd take is a little bit of willpower.

Author: J.D. Roth In 2006, J.D. founded Get Rich Slowly to document his quest to get out of debt. Over time, he learned how to save and how to invest. Today, he's managed to reach early retirement! He wants to help you master your money and your life. No scams. No gimmicks. Just smart money advice to help you reach your goals. https://www.getrichslowly.org/food-waste/

[cosimaballettithomas-blog]

Blog No. 12

The topic of this week’s readings was water. Miller’s Chapter 13 Water Resources discusses how we can have so many water problems when it is so ubiquitous (Miller 2012, 318). As Greek philosopher Thales famously said, “all things are water,” so why, then are people dying from dehydration (Prof’s PowerPoint)? Not only do we have a multitude of water problems, we have many different kinds of water problems. It is a global health issue as limited access to water results in the deaths of almost 4000 children per day from waterborne diseases caused by unsafe drinking water (Miller 2012, 319). It is also an economic issue as water is essential for food/energy production and poverty reduction. Moreover, because approximately half of the global population has no irrigation, women and daughters are forced to travel miles to find water. It is also a security issue due to tension between countries that share water resources. Lastly, it is an environmental issue caused by “excessive withdrawal of water from rivers and aquifers result[ing] in falling water tables, decreasing river flows, shrinking lakes, and disappearing wetlands,” in addition to water pollution which can harm aquatic animals and “aquatic ecosystem services” (Miller 2012, 319). One example of this is Chris Jordan’s Albatross which demonstrates in a very vivid and heartbreaking way the effects of pollution on wildlife (Chris Jordan, Albatross). Similarity, Jordan’s “Midway: Message from the Gyre” shows the “detritus of our mass consumption” in the stomachs of infant albatrosses in Midway, Atoll who were fed trash by their parents who mistook it for food (Jordan 2001). I think it's really important that we have more primary footage like this, as hard to watch as it may be, because it forces viewers to literally look into the eyes of the victims of our unsustainable and environmentally-negligent practices.

As previously explained, the problem isn’t that we don’t have enough drinking water, it’s that we don’t manage it well. We pollute it, as demonstrated in the video, and we also use more than we need for unnecessary purposes leading to an uneven distribution of water resources, a basic human necessity, and more importantly a basic human right. Moreover, only about 0.03% of the world’s water supply is available to us in the form of fresh drinking water from rivers and lakes while the rest is either ocean water, frozen in glaciers, or underground and inaccessible (Miller 2012, 319). Because of this, we have to rely heavily on the water resources that areavailable to us such as ground and surface water. Although there is little moisture below the levels of soil and rock near the surface of the earth, at a certain point we can reach the zone of saturation which is filled with water (319). Even deeper are the aquifers which are “porous layers of sand, gravel, or rock through which groundwater flows” (319). This groundwater moves from high pressure to low pressure but we have to use pumps to extract the water, which replenishes itself through natural recharge that involves “precipitation that percolates downward through exposed soil and rock” (320). Surface water is another vital resource which comes from rain or melted snow that enters bodies of water. The water that doesn’t evaporate or percolate into the ground is referred to as surface runoff and the land that surface water channels through before entering a body of water is a watershed, both of which are incredibly important given that approximately ⅔ of surface runoff per year is lost due to flooding, meaning that only about ⅓ is reliable runoff (Miller 2012, 320).

Miller encourages us to apply the three Principles of Sustainability to our search for a solution to the water crisis. For example “preserving biodiversity by avoiding disruption of aquatic systems and their adjacent terrestrial systems is a key factor in maintaining water supplies and water quality” (Miller 2012, 343). According to the website, based on my country of residence and consumption pattern, my water footprint is 594.6 m^3 compared to the global average of 1243^3 (WFN). I assume that mine is lower compared to the average American because I live on my own, am vegetarian, and am pretty conscious about my water usage. Most people don’t realize how much water is required to produce common food products; for example, a gallon of milk requires almost 900 gallons of water and a pound of beef requires a whopping 1800 gallons (Prof’s PowerPoint). The image below is particularly telling of the environmental tolls of the animal product industry where even the least water consuming animal product, eggs, still require more than the most water consuming non-animal product, soda (see below). I think a lot of Americans are just environmentally illiterate and there needs to be more environmental education in schools in order to reshape and redirect the collective attitude towards nature and the environment.

                                                                                                             (WFC 2017)

In response to Miller’s Critical Thinking Question #9 from Chapter 20 Water Pollution, the three actions I would take to reduce water pollution would be to hold companies like Exxon more accountable for the horrific damage caused by oil spills. Although Exxon eventually had to pay for the catastrophe, I don’t think any amount of money could have compensated for the massive devastation caused by the company. Moreover, there other companies that have caused similar damage and faced even fewer repercussions (Miller 2012, 548). Secondly, I would implement higher taxes on companies like Exxon that transport huge amounts of products across oceans because even without a devastating oil spill these ships still emit high levels of CO2 and pollute oceans, not to mention the physical danger they pose to aquatic animals. Lastly, I would force countries to make the shift to total renewable energy to eliminate the need to transport resources like coal and oil. The three actions I would take to provide safe drinking water would be to build large facilities for reverse osmosis and desalination systems in ocean bordering countries exhibiting water scarcity. I would also build more water treatment centers, which would also effectively create jobs. Lastly, I would place greater restrictions on resource extraction processes that pollute ground water and water bodies from sediment runoff.

Water pollution poses a multitude of risks that are not immediately evident to a lot of people; for example, when raw sewage from sewage treatment plant leaks into water it can create colonies of viruses leading to a range of health problems from a minor sore throat to gastrointestinal disease (Miller 2012, 544). I think this presents another explanation as to why people, especially Americans, are so ill. informed about water issues, because for the most part they occur far away. This is exemplified well in an Environmental News Network titled “Mining Pollution Limits Access to Clean Water in Papua New Guinea” that discusses the “social, environmental economic, and health impacts of gold mining in Porgera,” finding that “the communities affected by mining do not have access to consistent and safe drinking water” (ENN 2019). This is complicated by the country’s failure to meet “its human rights obligations to respect, protect, and fulfill the right to water in Porgera,” as well as the fact that the mines are controlled by powerful Chinese and Canadian companies (ENN 2019). The waste produced by the mining is called tailings which are being discharged into the Pongema River causing it to turn red and leading to major water insecurity. However, most people are unaware of these long-term catastrophes that aren’t usually broadcast in the news likely because they are not as relatable or dramatic as, for example, Superstorm Sandy. What people can’t see won’t hurt them and this alienation caused by powerful companies exploiting off-shore resources is only exacerbating the problem for many poor countries who have no other option but to be exploited because their major source of revenue comes fromtheir national resources.

In addition, I think there is a problem in this country where, in the event of some terrible catastrophe, we’re not sure who to hold accountable, this is especially common in matters concerning international waters where there virtually are no laws. Who is responsible when volumes of raw sewage leak into a river and contaminate drinking water? The owner of the company? The day-to-day manager of the facility? Or the workers who were there the day of the leak? Or perhaps the company that built whatever machine or component it was that faulted and caused the leak? If we want to realize environmental change we’re going to have to work harder to hold the offenders of our environmental issues responsible. Miller discusses how laws can aid in reducing water pollution such as the EPA’s “experimenting with a discharge trading policy, which uses market forces to reduce water pollution as has been done with sulfur dioxide for air pollution control” by allowing permit holders to pollute at higher levels than allowed if they buy credits from other permit holders Miller 2012, 549). Obviously any action is better than no action; however, why are we enabling companies to pollute? Companies should not be allowed to pay money to poison the environment. I think that any corporation that is willing to pay money to pollute is bound to hold some very unethical views about the environment. Instead, we just need stricter bans and laws that have nothing to do with money because by doing otherwise we are just propagating the idea that you can do anything with enough money and power.

Word Count: 1579

Discussion Question: Do you think it is ethical for governments to create pollution and carbon markets where companies can buy and sell permits or is it just propagating the Anthropocentric idea that we have the right to exploit the environment?

Work Cited

Miller, Tyler G., and Scott Spoolman. "Chapter 13: Water Resources." Edited by Scott Spoolman. In Living in the Environment. 17th ed. Belmont, CA: Brooks/Cole, Cengage Learning, 2012.

Van Buren, Edward. “Prof’s PowerPoint Notes.” https://drive.google.com/file/d/0BzKbjVLpnX0RMjVGYUwwZlBXa28/view

Jordan, Chris. "Albatross." Albatross. Accessed April 08, 2019. https://www.albatrossthefilm.com/.

Personal Water Footprint Calculator." Water Footprint Network. Accessed April 08, 2019. https://waterfootprint.org/en/resources/interactive-tools/personal-water-footprint-calculator/.

Miller, Tyler G., and Scott Spoolman. "Chapter 20: Water Pollution." Edited by Scott Spoolman. In Living in the Environment. 17th ed. Belmont, CA: Brooks/Cole, Cengage Learning, 2012.

Jordan, Chris. "Midway: Message from the Gyre." Chris Jordan Photography. 2011. Accessed April 08, 2019. http://www.chrisjordan.com/gallery/midway/#about.

Earth Institute, Columbia University. "Mining Pollution Limits Access to Clean Water in Papua New Guinea." Environmental News Network. March 20, 2019. Accessed April 08, 2019. https://www.enn.com/articles/57262-mining-pollution-limits-access-to-clean-water-in-papua-new-guinea.

"Food's Big Water Footprint." Water Footprint Calculator. December 13, 2018. Accessed April 08, 2019. https://www.watercalculator.org/water-use/foods-big-water-footprint/.

[arapaldiariesbygwen-blog]

February 27, 2019 4:30 AM Wednesday Day 2 of our immersion and I was awoken by the sound of Jamm's cheery voice, he was like a rooster filled with so much energy... Unluckily for my other classmates they barely had enough sleep because of his loud snoring during the night although if I am being honest here I may have contributed to the disturbance because I snore a bit as well, you cannot blame me I have been a very busy bee lately! So, to start our day we directly went to the Goatery that we had tour on yesterday and started to milk the female the goats. At first, it was a bit awkward for me but since the farm girl in me decided to went for it. The goat may have felt a bit of pain probably from the harsh force I exercted to squeeze out the milk so it started kicking but not too much to make me feel nervous, I did apologize however because animals can feel, too! As soon as we were done milking goats, we then proceeded to the pasturizing facility this is where they boil the milk to make sure that it would be clean and all bad bacteria would be dead. It did not take too much time but they had to be careful with the temperature seeing that it could end up overheating the milk and it would not be as nutritious as it would be. Next, organic longganisa and eggs were servee for breakfast and I can tell you how I am not much of a breakfast person but after the early trekking and goat milking I could definitely use a big plate of food. As soon as we were done, we had lessons of cheese making, the process was easy as long as we were mindful with the right temperature similar with pasturizing milk but this one was gonna take a little longer since we wanted to make cheese. Our instructor added organic or natural made vinegar and let it all sink in then the tasting was next, everyone wa so excited to try it so we all had our spoons ready and to my disappointment it was definitely no cheddar cheese but it was however healthier so one point for cheevon cheese and zero for cheddar. We added a dash of salt and it started to taste like sour cream cheese. So for the rest of our morning, we all took turns to shower and had the rest of the afternoon to do our vlogs. It was fun since I visited the tower again and had a beautiful sight of the North side of Cebu and I raided the gift shop and bought goat milk soap because the lady who taught us the process of pasturization had really nice skin and highly recommended the product since it was made in the farm. Miss Nenita was so generous enough to show me more products so I can feature it in my vlog and she was thrilled to find out how I was going to market them on social media and recommend them to my friends, she then gave me a keychain as a souvenir for my charming marketing! Time passed by and the next thing I know the bus was already back to pick us up, we were going to town and roam around while our teacher had somewhere to go and we would go home the next morning or at least that is what he planned for us but then since we were all tired and a bit cranky we really wanted to go home already and another miracle has happened again! Our teacher surprised us of going to the terminal instead of the city, he told us we were all set to go home. It was very nice to know so we can all take a rest and especially because I was starting not to feel well already. So along the bus ride going back to Cebu, all of the lessons I learned during last night's bonfire made me think how short life is. I have heard the struggles my classmates are facing, the hardships and the heavy heart we carry daily and yet everyone manages to put a smile everyday when we see each other during classes. During our immersion, I have not only learned about planting, farming, goatery and other activities and orientations that we were taught about but I also had the chance to see the provincial side and the lives or our farmers who are very under valued in our country. I also learned so much from my classmates.

[wiseabsol]

Excerpts from a Prompts Project

For those of you who read my Pokemon fanfic “The Phoenix Rose Saga” back in the day, here is the second of three excerpts showing what a re-imagined version of it would look like.

Prompt #2: Test, featuring Morgan from “TPRS”

Test:

Nothing bored Morgan half so much as her medical tests.

She supposed she shouldn’t be complaining. She used to have them every day, twice a day, during her first few weeks outside of her gestation tank. Having them once a week was an improvement compared to that. But it was still the same old shit every time: get her blood drawn, get her heart rate taken, go pee in a little cup, go run on a treadmill and do this and that and also that other thing with the headphones (because they thought Neva’s deafness might be catchable or something—well, not really, but that’s always what she thought when they told her to listen for the beeps). This time, though, they were poking her more than usual. She couldn’t help but growl at one of the assistants for it and knock the other one back with her tail—not hard, but enough to get him to back off.

Dr. Woodworth—or Aaron, as Dr. Rosenberg called him—eventually came up to her and sighed. “You’re being difficult today, Morgan.”

“They’re sticking me with more needles than usual. Of course I’m being difficult. Are they trying to turn me into a jolteon?” she asked, remembering the prickly electric fox she’d managed to shock into unconsciousness last week.

“They need to take more samples than usual right now. Try to bear up with it. I know you can,” he told her.

“Why do you need them?” Not that she cared, really, but it would be nice to know why she was being treated like a pincushion.

“Samples are always good to have on hand,” he told her. “And we’re also trying to check your hormone levels. We’d like to do a minor surgery on you soon, but we’d like to wait until the timing is ideal for it.”

She stared at him. “Surgery? You’re planning to cut me open?” Why was she just hearing about this now? Didn’t she get a say?

“Just a little. With your regenerative capabilities, I doubt you’ll be held up from battling for more than a day. We’re not taking anything you’ll miss,” he told her.

“But you’re taking something.”

“A few ova. Your eggs,” he clarified. “But only a portion of them. You’ll still have plenty if you ever want to breed someday.”

Morgan couldn’t think of anything that appealed to her less than having a bunch of squalling kits to take care of. Having sex might not be so bad, but that would require her to find someone she actually found attractive that way, and only the pictures Dr. Woodworth had of the prototype had been intriguing on that front. It would be a long time before she left this facility, though, if she ever did, so she doubted she would meet Mewtwo anytime soon.

Maybe Dr. Woodworth would catch him and bring him here, though. She’d snuck into his office to read his files on her predecessor, and in them he’d mentioned wanting to set up a task force to do just that. Ms. Stoneson hadn’t given him her approval, though, on account of how elusive, powerful, and undoubtedly feral Mewtwo was. I bet I could bring him back if they sent me after him, Morgan had thought while reading that. Yet for now, that was what humans would call a pipe dream, so she spent most of her time focusing on her battles instead. Those, at least, were a more realistic pursuit than chasing after her predecessor.  

Morgan considered that as she asked, “Why do you need my eggs? To make your sample collection comprehensive?” Sometimes she imagined he had a shelf of vials in his personal laboratory dedicated to her. He’d certainly had enough creepy jars filled with gels and body parts in his office, spaced out almost artistically among his fossil samples.

“We’re hoping to put your sister to some use. We’ll create embryos from your eggs and have her carry them to term,” he explained.

Morgan shifted in her seat. She wasn’t sure how she felt about that. It wasn’t that she cared about what happened to her sister, really. Everyone had to pull their weight around here, and since Neva couldn’t battle, what else was she supposed to do? Help Dr. Rosenberg around the lab? Even so, something about her sister having to carry her children didn’t sit well with Morgan. It seemed wrong, somehow—like it was violating something. Violating both of them, maybe. It wasn’t as if they had come up with this idea on their own. Maybe if they had, it wouldn’t feel so wrong.

If this was what their creators had decided, though, then Morgan wasn’t sure what they could do about it. “Will she be alright?” Morgan asked.

Dr. Woodworth lifted an eyebrow. “I wasn’t under the impression that you cared.”

“I don’t care that much. But it’s not like I want her to get hurt, either.”

“She won’t be,” he assured her. “We’ll be checking on her regularly and making sure she’s comfortable. She can even nurse the offspring, if she’d like. Otherwise, we can take on that burden for her. We just need her to do this part for us.”

“Can’t you use the gestation tanks?”

“We have commissions we need to develop for our investors,” he said.

Right. There were breeders and League officials who wanted pokémon with certain abilities, stats, and appearances to be made for them, which would take generations for them to produce with pokémon husbandry. Science left things less up to chance, and with the tanks, the unborn pokémon were constantly being monitored, so stillbirths and other defects were less likely to occur. “Besides, the tanks are expensive. Using surrogates is more cost effective.”

“So why her and not a miltank?” Morgan asked.

“Because miltanks at least produce milk. Neva has produced nothing of value. This is her chance to change that,” he said.

His tone brooked no further argument from her. She looked away from him and nodded. “Okay. Has she been told about this?”

“I believe Dr. Rosenberg is telling her right now. If we can, we’d like to get both of you into surgery next month, so be prepared for that. Though as I said, it shouldn’t hold you up for long. It’s not something you should worry about.”

But Morgan did worry about it in the weeks to come. She worried about it when her surgery date was marked on her calendar. She worried about it when she and Neva were getting their hormone shots. She worried about it when she glimpsed her sister’s red eyes, which looked too wide and watery. But as Morgan went into the operating room and felt the chill of the anesthetic creeping up her arm, she didn’t argue or fight what was happening. In her defense, she hadn’t thought that those were choices she could take.

But when she woke up, sore in her side, she nonetheless felt like she had failed an important test.