#our birthdays we can’t always go to see him in New York and do what he wants

[asexualjedi]

Robert was complaining about how we don’t have anything to do for our birthdays since the current plan is just my idea of all our dogs being able to meet and play. And I’m now threatening to make him and Bradley clean out our parents garage during the long weekend instead if they don’t come up with ideas.

[jaehyunnie77]

surprise birthday gift

summary: gifting your husband the best valentines and birthday present ever.

pairing: jaehyun x f. reader

genre: pure filthy smut | fxmxf

warnings: pet names (babe/baby), threesome, nipple play, sub reader, oral (male recieving), deepthroating, facial, cum eating, hint of oral (female recieving)

wc: 3.3k

a/n: based off of this request! first time ever writing something like this and ... damn. there was no reason for my mind to go this deep - no pun intended lmao. thank you anon for requesting! not edited lol. happy birthday to our valentine boy ❤ and happy valentines!

--

Valentine’s Day is a special day for both you and Jaehyun, your husband, of six years. Besides the national showering of love, confessions to crushes, love making day, or even heartbreak, it is also his birthday. Which makes the date and holiday ten times better. Usually, you both would spend the day together being low-key and maybe going out on the town for dinner and drinks.

This year however, you made other plans. Plans you don’t really do but nonetheless want to surprise him.

Though you’ve been married for six years, you’ve been together for way longer than that. Ten years to be exact. You both met in one of your freshman courses in college and hit it off. You trust each other with your entire being and cliché as it sounds, he is your best friend and vice versa. You both confide in each other about your insecurities, secrets, and fantasies, which is how you thought of the surprise gift for him.

Just a week before Valentine’s Day, you were both laying down in bed watching a random movie when he asks you about your kinks and fantasies.

“Hmm, I can’t think of anything right now.” you shyly say.

“Baby, it’s just me you can tell me.” he laughs at how cute and flustered you are.

“I know, but I really can’t think of anything. We’ve pretty much done everything I can think of.” you laugh as memories of the many hot and steamy sex you’ve both had flashes in your mind. 

“Oh really. Please do remind me.” he teases knowing where this is going.

“Well for starters of all starters, fucking in the bathroom in the middle of a college party was always on my bucket list. Car sex out in the middle of the woods when we went camping the first time. A quickie in the upstairs bathroom when we met our parents for the first and they were downstairs –“

“That one was funny, they kept asking you if you were alright.” He chimes in.

“Oh! That one date night when we went to that popular restaurant we’ve been wanting to go to and we were so horny, we ended up having sex in the back of the alley. Hmm, oh! When I wore those vibrator panties when we had dinner with your boss and his wife.”

“Okay that one was a fun night.” Jaehyun laughs at the memory of you squirming in your seat and trying hard not to moan as you kept crossing your legs.

“Yeah and plain torture for me when I was coming five times in a row.” You smack him playfully on the shoulder. “Meany. Anyways, um we did a bit BDSM and role playing after watching Fifty Shades of Grey. When we went to New York for the weekend and had sex in front of the large window in our hotel room when we were like 500 feet in the air. And lastly, we’ve had sex toys in play.”

“Damn, we’ve done a lot. I truly do appreciate and love you, you know.” He says as his mind replays all of your sex adventures and all those trials and errors. He’s trying hard not get a hard dick, but how can he not when you’re the best and amazing person he’s ever had sex with, and better yet, the woman he loves.

You can tell by the way he shifts that he’s trying to be more comfortable when you can clearly see the imprint of his meat on his pajama pants.

“What about you sir? Any other kinks and fantasies we haven’t done yet?”

He’s silent for a second trying to come up with a way to answer your question without giving you the wrong idea. “Um, I’ve always thought about a threesome –“

“Oh! Me too, not going to me –“

“But with you and another girl.” He says quietly as he looks at you. He studies your face to see if there is any negative reaction from you. You think about it for a second more before smiling at him.

“That’s not a bad idea. I mean I know I’m team dick all the way, but I have always wondered what it’d be like to be with another woman.”

“Hmm. Interesting. Please do tell me more.” Jaehyun kisses you on the cheek before getting on top of you and littering kisses all over your face. The movie is long forgotten as both of your minds are filled with only pleasuring each other for the remainder of the night.

Two days before Valentine’s Day, you had the perfect birthday gift for Jaehyun. Yes, you are going to fulfill his fantasy and grant him a threesome with someone you both know and trust. Sure, you could have called an escort or so, but you watch too many movies and the outcome in those aren’t good. Besides, this friend of yours is an expert in these kind of kinks.

When you bought up the conversation you and Jaehyun had to your friend Ana, you kept going over the pros and cons of a threesome with another female.

“It’s not that I’m insecure or afraid that he’ll love it so much and cheat on me, but I just never done anything like this before. I mean three is a crowd already.” You tell Ana your concerns.

“First timers are always scared and nervous, but once you’re in the act of doing it all, that’s the last thing on your mind.” She says slurping on her ice.

“I guess I just don’t want to look like I lack in the sex department.” you laugh out loud.

“Y/N, take it from someone who is wild and loves sex and practice safe sex, no one really cares if you know how to give the best blowjob or not as long as you’re having fun. Personally, being with three people is super fun. You get to take turns and bring out a whole different side you never thought was there. Then again, I don’t intend to settle down.”

Remembering why you asked her for a quick catch up, you swallow thickly and hope this doesn’t make anything awkward after asking her this. “You trust me right?”

Ana nods her head in response.

“And I trust you and we’ve known each other since practically middle school, and again I trust you –“

“What are you trying to say Y/N?” Ana says intrigued that she’s never seen you stumble over your words before let alone how nervous you seem.

“I- I was wondering if you wanted to help me and surprise Jaehyun for his birthday and gift him a threesome.” You shyly look away as you internally cringe. There could have been a better way to word that.

Ana stares at you because you’re acting as if this is your first time ever having sex. She chuckles a bit to help ease your nerves. “For starters, I’m super delighted you trust me and I’m even more honored you asked me. Are you really sure you want to do this?”

“Yes. Honestly, I’ve always been curious what it would be like as I’ve told you before.”

“Okay then. I trust you and if you were ever feel uncomfortable or want to call it off, just let me know. I will completely understand.” She says before sealing the deal on your surprise gift.

Valentine’s Day is finally here and you have both the butterflies and anxiety running around.

“He’s going to be home in five minutes.” You tell Ana on video call as she gets ready in her bathroom. Luckily, she doesn’t live too far from you.

“Remember to relax Y/N.” She tells you after seeing how nervous you are.

“I know I know. Okay, so we’ll grab dinner and I’ll text you when we are on our way back home.”

Ana just chuckles, “Sounds like the plan. I’ll see you soon and have a lovely dinner.”

You breathe in heavily and exhale all the nerves your body. You look around your living feeling proud of yourself. You outdid yourself by placing rose petals on the floor and hanging up balloons for this special day. You even have a box of chocolates in the middle of your dining table.

When the door finally opens and in comes your hot husband, you burst with excitement for what’s in store.

“Hi honey. Happy birthday.” You give Jaehyun a kiss as he stumbled back a little. When you part, he can see there’s something different about you tonight. It’s probably just the day today, but you look extra and really beautiful tonight. That’s when he realizes the balloons hanging and the rose petals and slow soft R&B playing in the background.

“Wow babe. You’ve outdone yourself this time. Thank you. Truly.” His eyes turns into crescents when he smiles at you.

“Thank you. Now go get ready before we head to our reservations.”

After grabbing dinner and having a splendid meal, you both head back home. You quickly sneak a text to Ana to let her know you were on your way. Twenty minutes later, you pull up to your cozy condo and get slightly nervous again. It wasn’t until you see Ana and relax just a bit.

“Oh hey Ana. Nice to see you here.” Jaehyun says surprise to see your friend on your doorstep this late in the night.

Ana smiles sweetly at him, “Happy birthday and happy valentine’s day. I know it’s late, but I was wondering if I could borrow that one dress Y/N? The one you showed me a couple of days ago.”

“Oh right! You have that date tonight don’t you. So sorry we came home late, but yes!”

Seriously, you both should win best actress or some shit because you said that without stuttering.

Jaehyun unlocks the door and you and Ana walk into your cozy home. You lead Ana towards your bedroom as Jaehyun heads over to the couch and finally relaxes.

When you come back out two minutes later, you gather your courage and sit next to Jaehyun.

“I have a present for you.”

“Oh babe you didn’t have to. Seriously, you being in my life is the best present I’ve ever received.”

“You still know how to make my heart skip a beat.” He leans in to give you a chaste kiss.

“So you agree that you’re my present?” he teasingly asks.

“I have to give you your actual present first before we get to that. You deserve something rewarding for being the best husband in the world. Now, close your eyes.”

He smirks at that last sentence, “Kinky are we?”

You couldn’t help but laugh, “Jae please. Just do it.”

“Fine, fine. Closing my eyes now.”

He does as he’s told as Ana quietly peaks her head out of your bedroom and walk towards you. You stand up next to her as you try easing your nerves.

YOLO you thought to yourself.

“Open your eyes Jae.” He opens his brown eyes and is confused to see Ana standing next to you.

“Um? Okay?”

“Your lovely wife here thought we would surprise you for your birthday this year by doing something you both would like to experience together.”

Still not understanding Ana, he looks at you for help. “What is she talking about?”

“Well you know how we talked about fantasies and such? Well I thought I’d do just that for your special day.”

Jaehyun thinks he knows what you’re talking about, but it wasn’t until it was confirmed when Ana stands behind you and starts touching. She pushes your hair to one side and kiss your neck tenderly, her hands roaming around your chest and landing to massage your breasts. As she does this, you make eye contact with Jaehyun communicating through your eyes somehow.

Ana takes off your jacket and unzips your dress. When the dress falls around your feet leaving you only in your bra and underwear, Jaehyun’s jaw tightens. He wishes he could touch you at this very minute, but he was so hypnotize from what’s happening in front of him.

Ana turns you to face her and tells you to relax with a comforting smile. She brings her face closer to you and kisses you gently before tongues were in the mix. You can taste her cherry chaptick on your lips as she brings your bodies closer together becoming one. You get lost in the moment as you start to enjoy kissing your friend and soon your hands have a mind of their own. You take off her jacket and tug at her shirt to pull it off. She trails kisses down your jaw to your chest and you look at your husband who now has a full hard on.

You lightly moan when Ana teases your nipple over your bra and Jaehyun’s eyes follow her every move on you.

“Jaehyun, do you like what you see?” she asks breathlessly.

“This is so fucking hot.” He immediately responds.

Ana unhooks your bra before turning you to face Jaehyun as she begins to suck on your hard nipple and her hand massages the other. She lets go with a loud pop and looks at Jaehyun, “She’s so sensitive isn’t she?”

All he could do was nod at her statement before she repeats her actions to the other breast. The feeling of her tongue and the look on your husband’s face, you swear you could cum right there. Ana once again lets go with a loud pop before sitting down next to Jaehyun in only her bra and panties.

“Y/N, I want you to get on your knees in front of your man.” Ana demands.

You do as you’re told and sit there waiting for your next action. Ana gets closer to Jaehyun’s ear and whispers, “She’s such a good submission isn’t she.”

“You have no idea.” He responds back as his hooded eyes stays on you.

“Undo his pants slowly.” Ana continues.

You undo his pants slowly making sure your hand brushes over his hard length. Your mouth waters just by the fleeting touch and can’t wait to have a taste of it.

“Take off his boxers slowly like a good girl.” Once you do that and his cock is exposed she tells you, “Now, give his big cock kisses it deserves.”

You don’t need to be told twice. You grab his heavy and beautiful cock and give it kisses up and down his shaft. You hear Jaehyun breathe deeply and you know he’s trying to control himself and not let the beast out just yet. Ana begins to give him kisses along his face down to his collarbone. She tugs at the end of his shirt for him to take it off and he does. Once that is off, she continues to kiss his abs down to his happy trail until she is kneeling next to you.

Jaehyun’s hand has a mind of its own as they both hold onto each of you.

“Put him in your mouth now.” Ana says lustfully.

You slowly put him in your mouth feeling every ridge of vein as he goes further down your throat. Jaehyun whispers a low fuck in the process knowing how much he loves it when you suck him off slowly like this. What he didn’t expect was for Ana to hold your head down while you deep throat him causing tears to form in your eyes as you make eye contact with him. He couldn’t help but buck his hips into your mouth loving the sensation of your warm mouth and the sound of you gagging around his cock. .

What he also didn’t expect was once you come up for air, you offer Ana to have a taste.

“Are you sure Y/N?” both he and Ana ask at the same time.

You’re too horny to think about anything and just nod your head.

Ana slowly puts him in her mouth as she slowly begins to bob her head.

Jaehyun couldn’t believe this was happening to him right at this very second.

While she was busy doing that, you come up to Jaehyun to kiss his neck as you both watch Ana suck on his dick. You swear it’s the hottest thing you’ve ever encountered. Jaehyun turns your attention back to him as he kisses you deeply and one hand massages your breast. Getting an idea pop into your head, you break the kiss and go back to sit next to Ana.

While she sucks his dick, you massage his balls and that action itself makes Jaehyun rolls his eyes to the back of his head in ecstasy. You suck on his balls lightly before teasing him again. Ana chuckles when she notices what you’re doing sending the vibrations straight to Jaehyun’s spine.

She comes up for air and grabs your head to bring it back to her and kiss you. Jaehyun opens his hooded eyes in time to see your tongues playing with each other. As if you both have the same mindset, you both bring your faces in front of his angry cock and tease it with your tongues on both sides of his length. You both get into the same rhythm of going up and down his shaft with your tongues and meeting at his tip to exchange saliva and kiss each other with tip in both of your mouths.

“Fuck this is so fucking sexy.” He breathlessly says.   

You smile love knowing that he loves it as Ana signals you to repeat the motion. After a few more, you put him back in your throat for him to fuck your throat as Ana sucks on his sack. Jaehyun couldn’t handle it anymore. He was a moaning mess and bucking his hips more rapidly into your mouth.

“Fuck I’m going to cum. Fuck fuck fuck.” You feel his cock twitch and you pull off his dick as Ana joins you in waiting for his warm cum to hit your faces. A second later, he finally releases his long and warm load on your tongues and faces.

Once he comes back from the heavens, you look at Ana and quietly start laughing. You really can’t believe you three just did that. Still being a newbie at this, you didn’t expect Ana to grab the back of your head to bring it closer to her face as she sticks out her tongue into your mouth as you both share and mix Jaehyun’s come.

Seriously, he is the luckiest man alive because even though he just busted a load, he is getting harder again just watching you make out with a girl and sharing his come.

“This is the best birthday gift ever.” He says lowly enough for you to hear him and you break away swallowing his load and giggling.

You begin to get up to go get cleaned up, but both he and Ana grab onto your wrist preventing you from going anywhere.

“Where are you going?” he asks teasingly.

“To get cleaned up?” you say unsure, but all Jaehyun does is shake his head as he makes eye contact with Ana. Something in that look communicated with one another as they both had the same idea in mind.

“We’re not finished though.” Ana says gleefully as she begins to tug on your wrist.

“We-we’re not?” you swallow thickly knowing full well what they meant.

“We’re just getting started baby.” Jaehyun says as his other hand pats the seat next to him on the couch. You get up from your knees to sit next to him as Ana kneels closer to you and begin to tease your skin. You could feel your wetness gushing out of your aching core.

Jaehyun gently grabs your chin to kiss you deeply, “You did such a great job baby. You’re really the best wife ever.”

“Anything for you my love. Happy birthday.” You whisper to him.

“Happy Valentine’s Day.” he whispers back.

You feel Ana beginning to leave love bites up your leg to your inner thighs as she gets closer and closer to your core. You sigh in satisfaction as you begin to moan loudly when she finally gets to your much needed throbbing core.

Indeed, the night is just beginning.  

[popcornforone]

April

From the Marcus Pike Fan Fic Diary

Master list

March

How are we already at April? Seriously?! I’m not sure & I’ve finished May as well. That’s already to go for next month. But Marcus & his partners diary is getting steamier.

Synopsis:- You & Marcus are having a mini break in New York for a friends 30th

Word Count:- 1300

Warnings:- DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE UNDER 18! PIV sex, established relationship, swearing, alcohol, tasting, oral & fingering both receive this, window sex, possible for people watching, I think if you’ve read the rest of the diary you know where this goes. As always this is the readers story so it’s written from their perspective.

Thanks as always for the read peoples. All feedback is welcome. I hope you enjoy.

There I stood by our huge window, looking over the New York skyline looking at the concrete jungle. We are almost as high as the clouds birds & planes. We both needed out of DC & a friends birthday in New York was the perfect way to go else where. Yes I can’t believe that Gina is 30 as well, I mean I know im older than that & Marcus is nudging the 40 in a few years but how can she be 30. She performs on broadway, so her party is musical based.

I turned my head back around to look at our room. Marcus’ Amex points had paid off. We weren’t penthouse but it’s the best view I’ve ever had of the city. Our room is bigger than the first apartment I shared at university. So many fresh flowers, a bed so big you could get lost in it. A bathroom with his & her mirrors. This was one hell of a way to have a mini break.

Marcus came back out of the bathroom freshly showered ready to put on his outfit for the party. He smirks as he sees the bottle of champagne turned upside down in the ice.

“Does my beautiful best girl need more fizz?” He asks as he notices me standing looking at the view empty glass in hand. I smirked at him. I wasn’t drunk but I was feeling much more relaxed & happy.

“Depends”

“Depends on what”

“On if I want to taste the finest things in life” I intentionally swish my long white robe, my own dress was hanging up by the sofa for me to put on soon.

“I’d say we are getting the finest things in life baby” Marcus slowly walks up behind me, he’s had a towel around his neck, he was dry & he presses against me so I can feel his bulge beneath his boxers. “Magnificent view” he mumbled into my ear. I felt his erection grow.

“We’re both talking about the same but different things aren’t we.” I said as I turned my head. My thin fingers graze his chin & he makes that little ooo noise that dampens whatever I wear.

“Depends?” He said echoing my previous words before he slapped my bum. Not to firm, but enough that if I wasn’t wearing my white silk panties that I would feel more.

“Hmm we’re playing that game are we Marcus?”

“I think we are” the way his lips always find mine still makes me giddy. The first contact knowing it will lead to more gives me butterflies.

“Marcus” it’s moaned & he turned me around & undoes my robe. My naked breasts exposed for him. It’s not long before both of us have hands that wonder. I’m always so vocal when he makes contact with my clit. I know he’s gonna do it, but I genuinely do think it’s that first warm rub from those fat flat fingers, I quiver every time. My own hand as he arouses me is gliding up & down his length. The inside of his boxers stained with Precum, I’m certain of it.

There is a good thing being so high up above the rest of city jungle, you don’t need to pull your blinds when you have sex. I’m not sure what this hotels policy is on having sex up against a window but it felt good. I didn’t know my panties are off, I was to lost in my own pleasure & making sure Marcus was feeling his when he removed my hand from his boxers & dropped to his knees to remove my panties from my ankles. He dealt with his own underwear there. He pulled a small m chair across & slowly peppered his kisses all the way from my feet, around my ankles, up my legs, & then to my thighs before he sucked. My clit was so ready for his lips. My cunt ready for his fingers. It was more ready for his cock but I knew I’d have to wait.

“Mmm…marrrr oooh fuck Marcus” my foot instinctively goes up on the chair as he licks away at me. I felt incredible. My hands running through his hair, over those broad shoulders. Crumbling at his own moans, mine were just added noise. My robe that I was still just about draped in falls to the floor & my bare arse rubs against the glass. “God Marcus… I’m gonna” I didn’t get the words out. Next thing I know sticky lips grace mine. His face glistening in my slick. I licked every drop off him as he called me a good girl. My cum tastes better when I kiss it off his lips.

Now earlier I said I thought my cunt was ready diary but it wasn’t. His cock slid so well in, after my oral explosion & Marcus was rampant. My hand thrust against the window. Held in place. If we had steamed up it would have been like that scene in titanic. Two hot sweaty sexy bodies moving against the glass, as he rampantly took me. Each thrust making my next orgasm even closer. Each warm oooh fuck from his mouth a hot release before the kisses started again. I know my Marcus is a passionate lover but that afternoon, he became a sex god. Maybe it was the fact we were against a massive window, maybe the people a few buildings away could see this couple getting their freak on, but it just felt right. The way his hand covered every inch of me. His bum felt Divine as I squeezed it every other thrust. My foot that was on the chair was wrapped around his own leg.

It was the deep cry he let out as he filled me up. Earthy. Manly. Feral. It made me cum for a 4th time that hour. My body spiralling down the rabbit hole yet again. He held me like his life depended on it. I love that Marcus is so passionate that my body trembles for a while. Even as he sat in the chair afterwards & my mouth accommodated his length as that large thumb wiped the tears from my eyes, I still felt like I was in heaven. I am his girl, his partner but for a couple of hours in that hotel room he didn’t treat me like a lady, he fucked me hard, like I was his whore. & it was fucking delicious.

I remember my phone notification going off as I sat in his lap about an hour later, my bum bouncing, his balls aching before they emptied once more inside me on the Chair we used for balance.

“Marcus we need to stop or we will never make Gina’s party” I mumbled after one last climax was reached.

“A room full of crowded people or me & you staying here? Our own party?”

“Hmm tempting but we need to go & I will dance so close to you tonight.”

“But we’re doing our own dance” he raised an eyebrow & my lips met his forehead. “I know I know” he nodded. “Also your dress for the party is so sexy, we might need to go so then we can come back & make out in the taxi” he had that glint in his eye. I didn’t want to leave his arms but I knew when we got back to our room we would just continue exactly where we left off.

& as much as Gina had an amazing birthday & we had a lot of fun, I tend to remember that it was my private after party that was the next best thing of that day.

May

[deliwrites]

ℂ𝕣𝕒𝕫𝕚𝕖𝕣 𝕋𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕤 // Dream

// DATE // 26th of November 2022 // PAIRING // Dreamwastaken x fem!reader // WARNING // angst, heartbreak, fluff, alcohol, song-based, happy ending, just in case a trigger warning; Techno is in this // WORDS // 6,6k+ // SUMMARY // a year ago Dream broke up with you. He never told you why. It hurt you so much. You weren't sure how to handle it. So with the help of Wil, you write a song about it. You wrote it to get over him, but what if he wants to try again?

Author note: This was meant for a book, that is not fan fiction. But I wasn't sure how to make it into a "normal" book. So now it's for you guys to enjoy.

 // MASTERLIST // ANONLIST //

Wilbur started his stream like usual. I sat near, just out of sight of the camera. My leg bounced up and down. I was so nervous. Wil had been announcing a new song being released today, for the past month. What fans didn't know was who the song was with. It was going to stay that way as far as real names go.

"Okay! So chat!" Wil starts, glancing over at me for a second. "As you can probably tell, I am somewhere unfamiliar to you guys," he paused, gesturing all around him. Looking at chat, he read as many of the guesses from the thousands of viewers as he could. "You're all wrong," he says bluntly, a smirk playing on his lips. A laugh nearly slipped from my own. Wil turned his smirk in my direction when he noticed me struggling to keep it in. "I am actually in Florida!" he announces. Instantly I started to see chat fill with his name. The smile that was on my face, faltered just a bit. "Nope, not at Dreams. I am at another friend's place and we have an announcement. Would you like to do the honours, Y/u/n?"

"I- wha- me?" I stutter, not expecting him to throw me under the bus like this.

"Yeah, come on, tell chat what's happening today!"

"Uhm, okay..," I swallow my nervousness quickly. "So, as Wil has been saying, there is a new song," I start, looking at Wil for confirmation. He nods, telling me to continue. "I wrote this song with some encouragement from Wil. The reason I wrote this song is... Well. I was hung up on a breakup. Yeah, I know, I am dramatic," I chuckle, Wil doing the same. "Anyway! This song is for me to get over this and hopefully it will help others too!"

"Exactly, cause believe it or not, today is the day the breakup happened a year ago. And this little lady is still hooked up on this game."

"Hey!" I pout, smacking his arm softly. "He was a great guy! You know I'm trying not to, but I still love him."

"I know," Wil says. "But from today on you're moving forward, correct?" I nod a smile back on my lips. "You can't see but she's nodding," he tells chat, making me giggle. "Now," he claps. "Let's actually play the song!" grabbing his guitar he checks it before looking at me. "You ready to do this?"

"As ready as I'll ever be," I tell him, adjusting in my seat a bit. Making sure the mic is in the right position. Wil starts playing, looking at me when it's my time to start.

I’ve been trying not to think about it, I can’t help it I know you don’t want to hear from me, but I am selfish It kills me inside, you can drink on Friday nights Not even pick up the phone It amazes me, you moved on so easily From someone that you once called home

I sang nervously, tho the stare Wil gave me boosted me with confidence. It felt so good to sing this song. I tried not to focus on the chat. Not wanting to feel discouraged or get distracted. 

I wish you had enough discipline For the both of us Just because I don’t know how to Turn off the way I feel I know you always fell out of love So damn easily But honestly, I don’t think you ever Had something real Until you met me, drinks in New york city Oh, you looked so pretty Think I fell in love before I even  knew your birthday Kissed you on our first date Somehow I knew someday This would hurt ‘cause I could  Never let you go Oh, I’ll spend my whole life Missing a part of me, part of me Oh, I’ll spend my whole life Hoping your heart is free, heart is free

I finished my part receiving an encouraging smile from Wil before he starts with his part.

I’ve been trying not to think of  This as something tragic ‘Cause our two paths might Cross again Crazier things have happened And I realized lightning strikes just Once not twice And shooting stars are burning rocks So I spend months inside, Drowning in these dreams of mine Wondering if I’m worth your thoughts I wish you had enough discipline for The both of us Just because I don’t know how to Turn off the way I feel I know you always fell out of love so easily,  but honestly, I don’t think you ever  had something real

Wil finishes and looks at me and we continue together.

Until you met me, drinks in New York City Oh, you looked so pretty Think I fell in love before I even knew Your birthday Kissed you on our first date Somehow I knew someday This would hurt ‘cause I could Never let you go

Taking over I continue.

Oh, I’ll spend my whole life Missing a part of me, part of me Oh, I’ll spend my whole life Hoping you’re heart is free, heart is free Do you not dream of me? ‘Cause I have visions in my sleep I can’t ever find me peace now Do you wake up alone And feel an aching in your bones? Or are you happy without me now? The first time that you told me You thought that you loved me That bar in the city I thought you were drunk But I knew deep down that you meant it Wish that I had said it I was scared to let it happen But it happened and now I cannot forget it Oh I’ll spend my whole life Missing a part of me, part of me Oh, I’ll spend my whole life Hoping your heart is free, heart is free

We finished the song. Staying in silence just for a bit.

"That was great! I am so proud of you, Y/u/n!" Wil says holding up his hand for a high five. I high-fived him, giggling softly. The praise raised a blush on my cheeks.

"Thank you, I couldn't have done it without you."

"Nah, you could have," he grins grabbing both our water bottles and handing me mine. "Tell me chat! What did you guys think? Do you have any questions?" Wil asked once he finished drinking. Focusing on the chat as messages flood in.

Who is the song about?

Wil read out the question that caught his eye, turning to me. He waited for my answer.

"I can't tell you who it's about exactly. Can't really expose him like that," I answer honestly.

"Yeah, we probably shouldn't," Wil chuckled. "Do you think - if he listened - Do you think he would recognize your voice?"

"He could, I guess. I have sung for and with him before. Though he could have forgotten what I sound like. I mean, it has been a year."

"That is true," Wil mumbles again, pulling a thinking face.

Could you tell us about that bar in New York City?

"I guess I could. Though, it's not actually about a bar in New York City. The name of the bar is New York City," I chuckle. "Do you mind? It could take a while?" I ask Wil.

"Yeah, go ahead, I don't know the story behind the bar either. I have to say that I am quite curious myself."

"Alright. Well, I knew this person since high school. We weren't friends but we did speak occasionally. I did already like him in high school but I never thought I would be his type," I start the back story. "Besides, he had relationship after relationship. I don't mean in a playboy kind of way. He isn't the playboy type. I guess his relationships just never worked out. Anyways, that's where I knew him from," I pause for a moment, gathering my thoughts. "So, fast forward a few years. We had both finished high school and doing whatever after. I ended up not going to college. I chose to pursue my music. Hence the song," I chuckle at the obviousness of it. "So, after a long day at my job, writing songs all day. I needed a break. Doing so by going to my favourite bar, New York City. I was sitting at the bar just drinking my (f/(a)/d) when he noticed me and came over. He asked if I was me," I giggled at the way I was explaining it, shaking my head. "I, of course, recognized him immediately. I mean who forgets their high school crush. We got to talking, quickly exchanged phone numbers and got pretty drunk together. We clicked quite well and I loved spending time with him. We joked about this being our unexpected first date while we talked about doing this again sometime. I told him that if it was, he should be a gentleman and escort me home safely. He had wheezed but nodded nonetheless. Telling me he would make sure I got safe and sound," I couldn't help but smile at the memory. "He kept his word and at about midnight, he called a taxi and brought me home. I was quite thankful and with the alcohol in my system. I risked it all for a biscuit and kissed him. Just like the song says, I fell in love before I even knew his birthday," I giggle once again, only this time it sounded clogged. My voice quivered a bit when the tears that formed in my eyes from the memory, caught up with me. "Sorry, I'm getting emotional," I quickly wiped my tears, sniffing. I felt arms wrap around me, I knew it was Wil.

"Hey, it's okay," he spoke softly as he comforted me. One hand caressed my back while the other was entangled in my hair. My head in his chest.

"I'm ruining your shirt," I muttered, my voice muffled by the fabric of his shirt.

"That's alright, you need this hug," Wil chuckled gently. "You know, I gotta say. That's a really cute way to meet someone. And fall for someone. The guy is an idiot for letting you go."

"You act like you don't know him," I chuckle.

"I just wish I knew why he would end it."

"You and me both."

After I had calmed down we put our attention back on the stream. Answered a few more questions. Wil linked and announced all my socials and provided the link to our song Crazier Things on Spotify before he ended the stream.

"Alright, it is-" Wil looks at the clock on the monitor. "Almost 8 pm, I should go to you know where."

"I know. Sorry that the stream took so long because of my long-ass answers. Not to mention my emotional breakdown," I chuckled. "You could have gone to his place already."

"Hey don't apologize for that. If I wanted to end earlier I would have," Wil shut down the PC. We made our way out of my spare bedroom. Grabbing his coat I handed it to him.

"You're staying the night at his right?" I ask to be sure I remembered it right.

"Yeah, I'll be back around noon tomorrow most likely. Then I also want you to show me that bar of yours!" chuckling at his excitement for it, I nod my head.

"Alright, I will! Now go on, have fun but be careful, okay!" I told him as I quite literally pushed him out the front door. "If you do end up needing me, just call me."

"Yes, yes, bye now!" With that, I close the front door. Being alone for the night. 'Happy birthday, Clay.'

"Wil!" Phil called out when he walked into the Dream teams living room. "I saw the stream! That song is so beautiful, mate!"

"Thank you," Will smiled. "The stream was also why I was a little later."

"Yeah, we watched it here," Techno said from his spot on another part of the L-shaped couch pointing at the tv that now just displayed the twitch logo. 

"Yeah, Clay ran off like right after too. Talking about needing some air."

"Seems pretty obvious why," Will said getting confused looks from the other two in the room. "You do realize that song is about him right."

"All the hints you had dropped. The both of you talked about it so much. You showed us just a section of the song," Techno mumbled thinking to himself as he tried to make logic out of it. Nick, who had let Will in, walked back into the living room. Handing out new beers for everyone. Including the two currently not in the room.

"Wait! That was Y/n?" Phil asked shocked.

"Well, yeah, how did you not know," he chuckles. "Who have I been helping the past 8 months? Who do we know that loves to write songs and sing? And has sung for us before, might I add."

"All the hints you had dropped. The both of you talked about it so much. You showed us just a section of the song," Techno mumbled thinking to himself as he tried to make logic out of it. Nick, who had let Will in, walked back into the living room. Handing out new beers for everyone. Including new ones for the two currently not in the room.

"I'm guessing George went to talk to Clay?" He asked no one in particular.

"Yeah," Techno answered him. "I wonder why he ran off tho. Sure, the song is about him, but it's not like the song was portraying him in a bad light."

"I don't know, maybe he feels guilty?" Nick said, confused about the situation himself.

"Wait, does that mean not even you know why he broke up with Y/n?" Phil asked the important question. A question Wil very much wanted the answer to.

"No," He stated bluntly. "We just assumed something suddenly happened between the two. It was like it happened overnight," Nick explains, taking a sip from his beer. "We were here having fun on his birthday and the next day she was gone. We didn't see or hear from her. Clay didn't talk about it either. so we waited till he was ready to tell us about what happened," he sighed. "All he ended up telling us was that she wouldn't be coming here anymore. No explanation whatsoever. And that was 2 months after."

"Woah, of all people, I thought he would have told you and George. I mean, you guys live together! Y/n basically lived here with you," Techno said, very confused why Clay wouldn't tell anyone the reason. It was silent for a little while after that.

The talking only started back up when George and Clay came back from where ever the two had been. Clay complimented Wil on the song with a hint of sadness lingering in his voice. Though, at the moment Wil decided not to comment on it. Instead, deciding to let the party become less tense. Suggesting playing a game.

They ended up playing an Uno drinking game. Everyone quickly became tipsy and the living room filled with laughter. Music softly playing in the background. Not too loud not too soft.

After a while, they stopped. Putting on a comedy show by Daniel Sloss. The humour was dark but oh-so-good. Wil couldn't focus on it though. He had a question rolling around in his head. It had been doing so for a while now. He was not leaving this place without answers, that's for sure.

"Alright," Wil spoke, catching the attention of everyone in the room. "I am sorry. I am not trying to ruin the mood. But I have to know," he said looking straight at Caly who was sitting on the outside corner of the couch. Tension instantly filled the air as most caught on to what was going to happen.

"Know what?" Clay asks, faking oblivion. He could already guess what the question would be. The question is, was he ready to talk about it.

"What was the reason?" Wil asked. "Like, don't get me wrong, but it was so sudden for everyone," he added, letting it sink for a second. "Why did you break up with Y/n?" he asks again when he didn't get a response. Clay's attention had slowly shifted to the carpet. Finding it more interesting than were the conversation was going.

"I would rather not talk about it," he confessed, his voice a little above whisper. He hadn't told anyone the reason. He didn't think he was ready to tell 5 of his friends right this second.

"You've got to talk about it at some point. It's been a year," George spoke from the recliner next to him.

George and Nick had definitely noticed a difference in Clay before and after the breakup. He was still clay, just less happy.

"Your reason won't change the way we look at you," Nick told him in reassurance. "It is honestly just so confusing. George and I didn't want to push you into talking about it. But we're your best friends. Please remember that."

"I know," Clay sighed. "Can we just say I was an idiot and not talk about it," he ends up saying. Looking around the room, but not making eye contact with anyone. His eyes then go straight to his lap. Focused on playing with the hem of his green hoodie.

"Why would you be an idiot?" Phil asks concerned. The fact that he thinks he's an idiot makes the situation all the more confusing.

"I-" He let out a sigh, throwing his head back. Trying to convince himself it was okay. He is with a close group of friends. He can trust them. "I actually broke up with her after I let a joke Wil made get to me."

"Excuse me. What?" Nick broke the silence that followed the confession.

"I don't remember the joke exactly. But it was something along the lines of Y/n cheating on me."

"You mean to tell me I've spent months taking care of Y/n from the UK. All because of a fucking joke I made!" It wasn't even a question. It was a statement. Wil was so aggravated at this discovery. The room was silent once again.

"I'm sorry," came from Clay, his hands covering his face as tears started to block his vision. His voice was croaky. "I got scared of getting hurt by the one person I actually saw myself having a future with," the anger that ran through Wil's veins quickly got replaced with confusion and concern.

"What?" he asked quietly.

"The song explains a lot," wiping at his eyes. Clay takes a deep breath, calming himself down. "The first time that you told me, you thought that you loved me. That bar in the city. I thought you were drunk but I knew deep down that you meant it. Wish that I had said it. I was scared to let it happen. But it happened and now I cannot forget it," he quotes the song with ease. "On our 1-year anniversary date, I told her that I loved her. As the song says, she didn't say it back. Which is fine, she should have to feel forced to say it back," he explains. "But months went by and I said it, every once and a while. She never said it back," looking up at Wil. "So, on my birthday, when you made that joke. All that went through my head was that maybe you were right. What if she was already cheating on me. She never told me she loved me because she had someone else besides me," he took a deep breath before continuing. "I ended it before I could find it whether it was true or not. When I did, that's when she told me she loved me."

"No," George mumbled. Every time Y/n spoke about Clay she would always shove an 'I love him' in the conversation. It always made Nick and him tease her for it. They knew how very much in love the two were with each other.

"We genuinely thought she had already told you," Nick said shaking his head slightly in disbelief. "She told us all the time that she loved you."

"Really?" Clay couldn't believe his ears. "I guess I really am an idiot huh?" shaking his head, he threw his head back. Slumping against the couch. "I lost the love of my life because I am an idiot."

"Who says you lost her," Techno spoke up. Everyone turned to look at him. Curious about where he was going with this. "Wil, Phil and I are still in contact with her. I am sure she would love to talk to you. We all know her well enough to know she would hear you out."

"I literally dumped her without telling her why. Why would she want to talk to me."

"Because she still loves you," Phil says matter-of-factly. "The song even talks about your paths crossing again, as crazier things have happened," hope started to fill him just slightly at the possibility.

The next morning I woke up to my violently vibrating phone under my pillow. Shuffling around I try to find it. Answering without looking.

"Hello..?" I croak tiredly.

"Morning, Y/n," Wil's voice comes from the other end of the phone.

"How are you up this early? Shouldn't you be hungover or something?" I mumble slowly pushing myself up in bed. Now leaning against the headboard. I rub my eyes to wake myself up more.

"Y/n, it's almost 2 pm, what do you mean early?" He chuckles. I could just tell he was shaking his head.

"Where are you? I thought you were supposed to come here?" I ask, taking the phone away from my head, and putting it on speaker. Getting up off the bed I walk over to my closet.

"I'm on my way to New York City," he says sounding excited. "One of the guys offered to take me there. So, I will see you there, okay?"

"Yeah, sure, okay," I answered while struggling to put on a tight pair of black high-waisted jeans. "I'll try not to make you wait too long. You can always order something to drink while you wait."

"Yeah, we'll do that before they leave."

"Alright! I'll see you in a bit then!" With a quick bye Wil hangs up the phone and I focus on getting ready. Though in the back of my mind I found it very suspicious how Wil spoke about the person who brought him to the bar.

Parking the car in the last free parking spot behind the bar. I try to ignore the car next to me. 'It's definitely not his car,' I think to myself. Shaking my head I grab my handbag and head to the front door. Looking back just once like I was expecting the car to suddenly change colour or something. I open the door, the small bell ringing as I walk in.

"Y/n!" Wil said with excitement as he came over immediately. Too close for a normal conversation and too stiff like he was trying to block my view from something.

"Hey, Wil," you don't look like you've been drinking last night at all," I chuckle ignoring the way he's acting at the moment. I could always ask him about it later.

"Well, we were up pretty early," he says with that cute grin of his. "Go sit at the bar I'll be right back," he says while grabbing my shoulders. Turning me around to face the bar. Looking over my shoulder, I give him a confused look.

"You're acting weird, Wil," I tell him, tho I do follow his request and make my way to sit at my 'usual' stool. Before I can turn to find out where Wil is going, my attention shifts to the bartender. Someone, I am all too familiar with.

"Well, hello there, Y/n," Lenny said with a grin. "I haven't seen you in a long time! What can I get you? Your usual?"

"Woah! Lenny, you still work here? And yes, please," the smile on my face matches his. "I am surprised you still know who I am," I chuckle. Like he said, I hadn't been here in a while. The last time I visited was at a moment of weakness 3 months ago.

"How could I not," he says setting down my (f/a/d). "You and Clay came here basically every Friday! Where is that boy of yours anyways?" Just like the last time he asked where Clay was. That time I was able to think of a fake reason why he couldn't be there.

"I- we- well-" now, I was just a stuttering mess. Unsure of how to tell him that we had broken up ages ago. But my stuttering gets cut off by another voice and the stool next to me moving.

"I am right here," Clay's voice surprises me. Looking up at him, there is a gentle smile on his face. He hasn't looked my way yet, though.

"Ah! Still together I see!" Lenny laughs, giving Clay his usual drink. Not even having to ask what it was. Neither of us corrects Lenny on his assumption. Why Clay wouldn't correct him has me lost, in every sense of the word.

"Thank you, Lenny!" He says, turning to look at me his smile softens but it's definitely still there. "Can you give us a moment?" He asks Lenny after turning back to him.

"Of course, of course!" He answers quickly and walks over to the other side of the bar. Picking up a conversation with another regular. I was utterly perplexed when I looked away from Lenny and back to Clay. We sat in silence, neither of us probably having any idea what to say. The only thing I was sure of was that Wil was behind this setup. But why? It didn't make sense to me. Clay hates me, he thought I cheated!

After taking a sip of his drink, Clay lets out a sigh. Turning his gaze to look at me. Or eyes briefly meet, but I look away, unable to look at him. I didn't want to get lost in his eyes like I used to. Besides I could already feel my emotion start to bubble up.

"Y/n, I know that I am probably way too late to tell you this," he starts off, the smile completely gone. Now replaced with a serious yet sincere look. "But I am so sorry," my eyes snap to meet his. I had no idea what to say or do. 'Should I even say anything or should I let him continue?' I decide on the latter and gave him a nod in acknowledgement. "I never told you why, nor anyone else for that matter and I felt, still do actually, feel like the biggest idiot in existence," he played with his glass a little. Something I knew he did if he was thinking about what and how to say it next. His elbow leaned on the bar, his head resting against his hand. He wasn't looking at me anymore but I knew it was because he was scared of my reaction. "Yesterday, a year ago, Wil made a joke," he says slowly. "I knew it couldn't be true, but I let it get to me. I didn't want to get hurt since I loved you more than I ever thought I could. So that night I broke up with you," he looked back at me. His eyes let me know just how sincere he was saying that. He cups the left side of my face hesitantly. With his thumb, he wipes away a tear I didn't know had fallen from my eye.

"So..," my voice sounded a little clogged from being my emotional self. I had hoped for this moment for so long. Just to know what the reason was. "Uhm, I am not sure what to say," I mumbled looking away from his eyes, trying to stop myself from leaning into his hand. Along with trying not to cry more. The comfort of his touch was still all too familiar. "I guess, thank you for telling me," I sniffed. "I want you to know that I never cheated on you and I never would."

"I know," he softly lifts my head up, making me look at him. "And I know it's far-fetched," he sighs somewhat lovingly. "Would you consider starting over?"

"But you just said 'loved'. W-why would you- I- wha?" I couldn't put into words how I was feeling at the moment. Sure, my heart started to flutter at the thought of getting back together. But I was making progress, was I not? I was supposed to move on from him now. Not let my love for him take over my life anymore. "D-don't get me wrong! I mean, I didn't write a song about you if I was actually, you know, over you. But I am very confused?" Ending the sentence questioningly to further prove my point of confusion. Loads of hand gestures. None of which add to the conversation as I scramble with my thoughts and words. Clay chuckles softly, moving both his hands to mine. Holding them delicately.

"I know, I'm sorry," he says gently. "The thing is. The reason that I am hoping you'll give me another chance is that I regret breaking up with you. I have since the moment I did it. You told me you loved me then and I could tell you were sincere. I could tell you meant it," his voice is filled with so much emotion. My eyes water, thinking back on that day. "I blamed myself for not being patient enough and letting a joke get to me," he looks down at our hands. His hand playing with a simple ring that sits on my left ring finger. It was actually a ring he had given to me. From the moment he gave it to me I had never taken it off. I have been wearing it for a solid 2 years now. "I felt so guilty after I sent you home. I knew you weren't lying when you told me you loved me. I shut down, and locked myself up in my room, for 2 months. Worried the hell out of Nick and George," he chuckles softly to lighten the mood a little. Looking back into my eyes. I notices even he had tears pooling on his water line. "And I never even told them why I did what I did. Up until last night," my eyes widen at the confession. 'No one knew? Did he really feel that guilty and embarrassed that he felt he couldn't even tell his two best friends?'.

"Let me guess, Wil asked why?" I asked knowingly, rolling my eyes. I knew he wanted to know why so badly. He needed to know if Clay deserved all my tears.

"Yep, and I didn't wanna answers at first," Clay confesses. "But they were patient with me and actually very understanding."

"I mean, they might be idiots but they are still your friends," I chuckled tearfully.

"That, they are, sometimes I don't think I deserve them," he sighs softly, though it was a sigh of contentment, not of annoyance. "They are the ones who helped me figure out how I could talk to you and hopefully make amends," he said with a gentle smile playing on his lips. "Wil told me you were gonna show him our bar, and that set it in motion."

"I guess my mind wasn't playing tricks on me when I saw your car in the parking lot," I couldn't help but giggle. Wiping gently at my eyes, I rub away any tear tracks. Grabbing my drink, I take hold of one of his hands again, taking a sip. "And you were hiding in here while Wil told me to go sit at the bar. You know, it was very obvious he was hiding something," Clay chuckled, nodding as he agreed with me. It helped him lighten up.

"But it worked and I am very happy you didn't decide to just run off when you saw me."

"I could never," I said with a teasing smile on my lips. "Even though the song was to help me move on from you. Our paths have crossed again," I could tell from him slightly shifting in his seat that he had gotten nervous again. "I would like to start over," I down the rest of my drink and get up. Not giving him time to say anything. I walk out the door of the bar. I grin to myself while my back is turned. I wait for the door to close behind me. Turning back around I walk straight back in. I look around like I'm looking for a place to sit. Moving my gaze to Clay, I noticed a confused look on his face. "Hi, is this seat taken?" a little flabbergasted, Clay shakes his head and chuckles.

"No, go ahead," he then says, gesturing to the stool. Playing along with my little act. "Can I offer you a drink? I'm Clay, by the way," he continues, moving his hand towards me. I shake his hand before sitting down comfortably next to him.

"That would be lovely," I grin. "I'm Y/n."

"What a lovely name," he says, reluctantly letting go of my hand. "What would you like?" He turns away a little to look at Lenny grabbing his attention and asking him to come over.

"Another round of usuals?" He asks as soon as he reaches us.

"Yes, please," I tell him sliming brightly. "So, who did you invite over yesterday?" I drop the act as we wait for our drinks. I knew Wil, went of course but I didn't know who else had been invited.

"Well, I invited a fair few. Sadly not everyone could make it, but as compensation, we played some games during the day. So it was just Nick, George, Techno, Phil, Wil and me during the evening," Lenny put our drinks in front of us, sending a smile. Then going back to the other side on his own. He was always pretty good at reading people. So he probably guessed we just had a pretty serious conversation. Wanting to give us the privacy we needed. "We actually watched Wil's stream while we were waiting on Wil."

"Wait, you did?" I asked calmly even though I was pretty shocked. Sure, they were friends and all but it was Clay's birthday. 'Why would he decide to watch the stream?'

"Yeah, we knew he was dropping a song but didn't know who with. I instantly realized it was you when you spoke. All flustered by the sudden attention thrown on you," he says with a sweet grin. A blush spread across my cheeks. His right hand reached out, gently taking hold of my left one. His thumb softly caressed the top of my hand. "I didn't know what to expect when it came to the actual song. But I knew it would be beautiful," the blush darkened at the compliments. "What I didn't expect was that it was going to be a song about us and this very bar. I thought you had long since moved on from me. Forgotten about me even," he says softly, looking down at our hand. Squeezing carefully, almost like he thought I would disappear. "But there you were, off-screen, singing about our bar and the effect our breakup had on you," his voice got a little croaky and I could tell it bothered him that I had been dealing with this for an entire year. I squeezed his hand, trying to reassure him that it was alright. I was obviously not the only one who dealt with it for this long.

"It's okay," I tell him softly. "It was a shitty year and I wouldn't have gotten to this point if it wasn't for Wil. But it's okay, Clay. I don't want you to blame yourself, which I know you're doing," I said with a pointed look, getting a slight grin as he knew I was right. "It's my fault for staying in that state of mind for so long. I have gotta say though, I don't regret it cause you want to give us a second chance. And that makes me really happy," I smiled a genuine smile because this is, in reality, what I had been hoping for. I love this man too much to just walk away from him.

"I guess, but I hurt you," he replies in almost a whisper. "And all because I'm an idiot."

"You might be an idiot, but you're my idiot, okay," I giggle softly, leaning over to give him a side hug and pecking his cheek. Leaving my head on his shoulder as he chuckled at my response.

"That I am."

That evening, just like on our unofficial first date, he made sure I got home safely. But! Instead of me kissing him, he gently kissed me. Looking at me with the softest of smiles when we pulled apart. A dark blush spread on my cheeks. We just stared for a bit, not really knowing how much time passed.

He told me he would come to pick me up in the morning. To pick up our cars, both of us were too tipsy to drive home. I smiled and nodded. Saying shy goodnight, I entered my apartment as he went back to the uber.

"Look who is finally home, just in time for dinner," Wil spoke from the kitchen. He couldn't see me but who else would enter my apartment. Wait!

"Wha- Wil? How did you get in?" I ask confused as I walk into the kitchen. There I find Wil making a very easy dinner of simple spaghetti with green pesto and cheese.

"You gave me a key," he says not sounding convincing in the slightest.

"Did you break into my apartment!?" My eyes wide in shock. 'How could he possibly have broken in!? I am on the forth floor! And my door definitely did not look broken into.'

"No, no, no!" he puts up his hands in surrender, letting out a sigh. "Clay still had a key. So he gave it to me to return to you after," I stood there flabbergasted. I had completely forgotten about the key I had given Clay. He actually kept it? "Love how you actually give him it with a keychain that has his name on it," he chuckled, taking the key from his pocket, sliding it over across the counter, to me.

"I-" I wasn't sure how to react. I just picked up the key looking at the battered keychain. I found it in a store once. It had a smiley, similar to his iconic one, on the the from and the back was black. So I had gotten it engraved with his name and our anniversary date.

I still remember the day I gave it to him. I was over at his place but had to go home that night because of my part-time job. I was very tired and asked if he would bring me home and maybe stay over. He had agreed after my pleading, asking for my eyes. He very well knew I was gonna fall asleep during the - short - drive. So he needed to be able to open the door.

I had grinned sheepishly and handed him his own key. He had been very confused at first. My own set of keys was filled - basically - to the brim with keys and keychains. 'It's your key. Now you can come over whenever you feel like it,' I told him. The smile on his face made my day just that much better. He pecked my lips before we got up and headed to the car. That night he had to carry me inside, 'cause just like he predicted. I had fallen almost straight asleep as soon as I sat down in the car.

"-ello? Earth to Y/n? Someone in there?" a soft pat on the head brought me back from memory lane and in front of me stood a smiling Wil. "Where did you drift off to?"

"Sorry," giggling I shake my head and put the key in a bowl that was meant for keys. "Just thought about the day I gave that key to him."

"While we're on the topic of him, how did it go? Did my plan work? I mean, I guess it did cause you were there for like 4 hours," Wil started to ramble as he filled two plates with the now-finished dish.

"It did work," I grin, a blush returning to my cheeks. "Funny how things work tho, right? The song was supposed to help me get over him and instead," I let out a content sigh. "We are going to start over and try again," I couldn't help but smile brightly as I sat down on a barstool at the island. Wil coming over to my side and sitting down too.

"I am surprised of me saying this, but I am very happy for you," he says. "I never hated Clay, but just never knowing why really made me not want you to get back together with him. Along with, of course, you being miserable for an entire year for that idiot," he chuckles. "He really is an idiot but he loves you very much," bumping his shoulder against mine slightly, a smirk on his lips.

// MASTERLIST // ANONLIST //

[firewoodfigs]

Tagged by the resplendent @roseofbattles :)

TEN GOOD THINGS IN 2023

1. New York / poetry readings — sometime around September, I got to feed an old, ostensibly impractical dream that’s emerged and lurked around since two decades ago. I wrote a poem and got to read it aloud in a wonderful art studio around Chelsea, teeming with so much talent and heart, thanks to the incredible @mirabile---visu. Thank you, dear friend, for giving my poem a home. I will remember this forever and hold dear to heart all the honest conversations we had over pizza, art and wine <3 you are such an inspiration and I can’t wait to see you again! Thank you too to the insanely talented @go-haywire for putting my words into print and allowing them to rest in a well-bound sanctuary — I carried it with me in New York as a lucky charm, and will always be eternally grateful for your generosity and faith.

2. New Zealand — sometime in April, in between jobs, I got to visit the amazing @tsaritsa in NZ, and it was two weeks of peace and great novelty, including but not limited to riding on a horse, feeding penguins, and donning on a firefighter costume! We also walked a ton and talked a lot and gazed upon a blanket of stars. Thank you for all your hospitality and love which I will never forget (and see you in 2024?!)

3. Other travels — I travelled a lot around Asia this year, for work and for fun! I got to see the cherry blossoms for the first time in my life with Japan with my partner. We also got to celebrate his birthday there, and it was an all around lovely trip; I’m really happy he got to have this break because he’s been truly working so hard in 2023. I also ushered in the new year with a dear friend in South Korea; the fireworks were nothing short of spectacular! We got a strawberry shortcake after and returned to our cute little apartment to just wind down and pen down our hopes for 2023 :) I also got to visit Thailand, Vietnam and Malaysia for work, which were really exciting experiences!

4. Job switch — sometime in April, I was confronted with this HUGE dilemma of staying here in my hometown or moving to… a tax-free desert… the latter meant I’d at least be able to stay with my previous firm, but after a lot of coffees and deep consideration I decided it was better to move on to someplace else and stay put so I could spend more time with my partner. In hindsight it was probably the best decision I could’ve made; 2023 has been quite emotionally distressing for us and I would’ve hated to see him ensure all of that alone. I was mildly apprehensive at first about the switch, but I’ve been really blessed to have the most wonderful colleagues and bosses and am really excited to see what’s in store next :)

5. Meeting new friends, and in a similar vein, catching up and reuniting with old ones :) New York was a dream, in large part due to meeting some of the most luminous souls I’ve had the serendipitous pleasure of knowing during the pandemic—first over a screen, and then in person, over karaoke, and bagels, and coffee, and ice cream, and of course fried chicken LOL. @x-rainflame-x @roseofbattles @nightofnyx8 @beware-thegemini @thatisadamnfinecupofcoffee @annespelledwithane it was so so precious getting to meet you all in New York and I will cherish our time there together forever!

6. Learning a language—I try to learn at least one new word a day, and I’ve also been working on my Japanese since moving into a Japanese firm. It really helps as well to have colleagues that I can practice with—I took classes briefly in college but it sort of just drifted out of my memory after the pandemic because I didn’t speak it regularly, but now that I do it’s been super fun!

7. Getting into Spy x Family — and consequently, getting back into fic writing :) all of this is @nightofnyx8’s fault btw, now I have to pretend I like this stupid fake family a normal amount (when I’m just obsessed an unhealthy amount lmao)

8. Fraud/investigations work — this basically consumed the entirety of my Nov/Dec and there’s not much I can divulge about it (apart from the fact that it pretty much aged me by a decade) but… I felt like Loid Forger and it was fun being a spy for a month. the end

9. Dealing better with anxiety (?)—question mark because my progress is… questionable. On one hand I think I’ve gotten a lot better at regulating (or perhaps suppressing) a lot of associated feelings, but it still gets frightening on occasion when the dam breaks free without much prior warning. Regardless I think it’s a marked improvement from the countless menty bs back in college lmao. To be very frank, having a stable income of sorts has helped a great deal; in college I was constantly plagued with the fear of not having enough to purchase required materials or at times food, and it was just a lot to deal with. It felt like there was no room for failure because I only had myself to rely upon, and success was the only tenable avenue out of poverty, but being able to now obtain necessities and even additional wants has done wonders for my mental health. It’s true that money doesn’t happiness, and I spend a great deal of time daily mulling over capitalism and consumerism and the like, but I cannot deny the sense of security it affords.

10. And finally, falling deeper in love everyday :) it’s easy to think we know a great deal about someone, except we don’t. People may appear simple, but the truth is we’re all a work in progress, and by extension, a continuing story. I could read a million books and write a million poems, but beloved, believe me—you will always be my favourite.

Goodbye 2023, and hello 2024!

[granvarones]

A song about the end.

Ain’t it funny?

I always thought “End of the road” was a funeral song, as it blasted on radios in 1992.

“Although we’ve come to the end of the road, still I can’t let go.”

STILL I CAN’T LET GO.

STILL

I CAN’T LET GO.

It was about the end of a relationship.

What songs are sung about the start of a connection that happens long after death?

On Monday October 26, 1992 Melvin Winfred Dixon “a professor of English at Queens College whose works on African and African-American literature were widely praised, died” his New York Times Obituary read. This was published on October 29, 1992, that was a Thursday. Further, “Professor Dixon died of complications from AIDS.”

How many times have we heard those words echo within our bodies?

AIDS complications

Complications from AIDS

Complicated AIDS

AIDS complicated

AIDS is so complicated.

Our relationship to AIDS is complicated by the histories rendered muck

By the moral antagonism of the time. As Mariah Carey sang in 1990, “love takes time.” They just couldn’t “see” they “treated you wrong.”

Plural you. Big wrongs.

That same day that “Professor Dixon died” I turned 9 years old. I was born in Philadelphia on October 26, 1983 and Dixon died on October 26, 1992 in

Stamford, Connecticut.

Nine, the number of completion.

Melvin died on my birthday.

Big head me, running into the gaze of those who beheld me at a tender age, much to be joyous about. Surrounded by the possibility of the world. Loved on, poured into, not fully seen.

Him, held in the memory of the loved ones gathered to see him depart us earthlings. At rest and filled with the rhapsody of everlasting life in the after. Seen fully, fully loved without question or requirement. I imagine he is not hurting, not overinflamed from a viral death.

I imagine his family still can’t let go.

Do you see him in the Pantheon of AIDS heroes? Or are his glowing bones lodged in a blind spot.

Bright like a stolen diamond, captivating as a Pearl necklace.

“Then there is the chilling threat of erasure.”

After death the archives speculate our disremembrance by suggesting white time.

Because love takes time at the end of the road.

Because you have to first be a person; to be a person living with AIDS.

Because you have to first be a person; to be a person who died of AIDS.

Who died of AIDS?

How many can you count?

Love takes time.

Love takes our time.

Our time is love. A loving time.

STILL

I CAN’T LET GO.

Gone & For Ever

The pain feels like shards of glass in your feet, the milked honey turned into clotted cream.

Wafts of your smell lingers in air, eroding acids enter soil near the disturbed earth you were meant to lay.

I guess this is what it feels like to be dangerously in love, close to you, yet deathly far.

A box on shelves with you inside.

A body to ash, magnificent dust of glittery magic, these bones live and dance their demands of respite.

Melvin transitioned celestially, his words as pillows, his heart bleeding love.

I am here dancing in the practice of making sounds with my quiet anger, forming shapes out of his legacy.

To return to him his body, made home for the spoil of the grid.

The lights out, party floor, quilt made of red ribbons swimming in the sky, a memorial to a full-blown possibility of being.

A cake made of sweet taboo, topped with candles burning rush, eats itself.

As the Pantheon of decadent forebears watches the folding onto each other for the love of sexual rapture.

These lovely bones hold heaven in its gristle. Parts of your world unearthed, saponified remnants of old grudge made new beef.

So I creep to waterfalls made of sand, fisting the stream with calloused hands, I make sculpture out of pounded yam.

I see your silhouette and then this song plays “can I call you Rose (Can I call you Rose?) ‘Cause you’re sweet like a flower in bloom.”

Roots, sacred acre that is washed with the squeeze of one lemon.

They got the juices drooling on mucosa kissed by a bug.

Time after time, making bread out of yeast.

“We got everything to lose with you” like Gary Clark Jr. said.

To lose all of Shange’s stuff, left discarded on Avenue unknown, drenched with rain water and some sweet tea.

A teddy bear ripped open, its insides like cotton clouds of regret lay bare the truth that we are Gone & For Ever.

A body that dies

A body is born.

Then a body grows.

A body is loved.

Then a body hurts.

A body dies.

Then a body is mourned.

Then we are bones.

I love us bone-in.gristle love.fat love.

fall off the bone Black love.

I love you in the Mournin’. salt taste love.

I love you like love ain’t never loved before. futurity love. like we ain’t ‘spose to be here love.

that love.

A body to love. When you have nobody to love.

The reanimated body whispering:

“I am soot-made-mud into moons.”

“If i had the spoons I’d be a glowing red balloon.”

“I am in your stories deeply buried.”

“made to glamor in vanishing rooms. Swept under your feet.”

“Sweet.”

“I am sweet.”

“I live in the phantom times. when macrophage and dendritic cells were in me.”

“I am memory, come to reflect on the boundless archive of neglect.”

“I caught your eyes gazing on me.”

“Love on me.”

“I Tended the cells of my rebirth.”

“Take pride in my bloody ways.”

“I never hid love’s tapestry.

“My body changed territory.”

“I was washed with the glitter of a thousand Black faggots”

“Hung in the cold of past-ness”

Time has a way of looping in the cold, the warm, and the hot.

“Hot like fire”

Our work burns hot into the minds of the possible you.

Grief

Tell the truth,

grief is HEAVY like Effie’s Dream—

gurl, bulbous and magnificent.

“I’m magnificent.”

all you can do is wrap your arms around it.

feel its warmth enrobe you.

let it live in you.

the aliveness of sorrow. the sorrow of being alive.

the salt.

the sweat.

the wail.

Like Rivers

All I see are faces.

What is there to be done about memorial, exalted death mounted on blue clouds, the death rattle now. Our “double cremation” caused by the sexual and gender subjugation in our Blackness, the white supremacy of the maelstorm of gay normativity binds us. Our collective resistance to Black deviance has de-remedied freedom. Has displaced us from the recordkeepers’ gaze.

There is repair in water.

Streaming the hearts of our wayward ancestors, coming together a mighty river of magnificent energy.

We are the water that washes the pain away.

We are the water that remembers their joy.

We are the water of ceremony.

“Like rivers remember source”

We remember them.

And Melvin is somewhere listening for his name.

aAliy A. Muhammad is a poz writer born/raised in Philadelphia. In their work they often problematize medical surveillance, discuss the importance of bodily autonomy and center Blackness. aAliy is the creator of Black Reverence Chair, a joy and affirmation ritual. With Dr. Lyra D. Monteiro, aAliy is a co-convener of Finding Ceremony, a descendant community-controlled process, restoring the lineages of care, reverence, and spiritual memory to the work of caring for our dead.

[mrvincible]

When Love Arrives (mrvincible edition)

I knew exactly what Love looked like... in 7th grade.

Even though I hadn’t met Love yet, if Love had wandered into my home room I would have recognized him at first glance – Love wore a hemp necklace. I would have recognized her at first glance – Love wore a tight French braid. Love played acoustic guitar, and knew all my favorite Beatles’ songs. Love wasn’t afraid to ride the bus with me. And I knew I just must be searching the wrong class room, just must be checking the wrong hallway. She was there, I was sure of it. If only I could find him.

But when Love finally showed up – she had a bull cut! He wore the same clothes everyday for a week. Love hated the bus. Love didn’t know anything about the Beatles.

Instead, every time I tried to kiss Love, our teeth got in the way!!!

Love became the reason I lied to my parents. I’m going to Ben’s house. Love had terrible rhythm on the dance floor but made sure we never miss a slow song. Love waited by the phone because she knew if her father picked up that’d be “Hello”… “Hh..” “Hello?” “Hh…” “I guess I’d hang up.”

And Love grew. Stretched like a trampoline.

Love changed. Love disappeared, slowly, like baby teeth. Loosing parts of me I thought I needed.

Love vanished. Like an amateur magician everyone could see the trapdoor but me. Like a flat tire – there were other places I had planned on going. But my plan didn’t matter.

Love stayed away for years. And when Love finally reappeared, I barely recognized him.

---

Love had an illuminating smile brighter than the Arizona sun.

He had smiling eyes that sends you flying as high as the mesas.

His demeanor, was as cool and as deep as Lake Powell.

Love was a like a solstice,

being around him feels like the sun stood still.

He was a new beginning, a sign.

Telling me that cooler days are coming,

and warm nights are just on the horizon.

But like seasons, Love blissfully came and went.

---

Do not forget this. Love is not who you were expecting. Love is not what you can predict. Maybe Love is in New York City already asleep. You are in California, Australia, wide awake. Maybe Love is always in the wrong time-zone. Maybe Love is not ready for you. Maybe you are not ready for Love.

Maybe Love just isn’t the marrying type. Maybe the next time you see Love is 20 years after the divorce. Love looks older now but just as beautiful as you remember. Maybe Love is only there for a month. Maybe Love is there for every firework. Every birthday party. Every hospital visit. Maybe Love stays. Maybe Love can’t. Maybe Love shouldn’t.

Love arrives exactly when Love is supposed to and Love leaves exactly when Love must. When Love arrives, say, “Welcome. Make yourself comfortable.” If Love leaves, ask her to leave the door open behind her. Turn off the music. Listen to the quiet. Whisper, “Thank you for stopping by.”

[thememoriesofaqueen]

Love Will Remember 4

[Chapter updated in June 2023] A/N: Hello & welcome back. Today is Katherine Pierce's 550th birthday, so I thought let's celebrate this special day by gifting you all the next chapter of 'Love Will Remember'. And as always I want to thank you for your continuous support and feedback. It means a lot to me ♥

English is not my first language    

→ I do not own anything of the TVD - Universe and I’m not affiliated or associated with the writers etc. This is only a headcanon/fanfiction.

Pairings: Kalijah (Katherine & Elijah), Klatherine (allies)

Rated: M

Read on: AO3 and / or FFnet

Word Count: 3.6k  // Masterlist (x)

▬▬ xx ▬▬ ▬▬ xx ▬▬ ▬▬ xx ▬▬ ▬▬ xx ▬▬ ▬▬ xx ▬▬ ▬▬ xx ▬▬

▬ New York City // Paris ▬

"You did what? You can't be serious, Nik! Have you lost your damn mind?"

Klaus rolled his eyes and was tempted to remove the phone from his ear to avoid getting tinnitus. "It will work, sister. Don't tell me you don't have a little faith in our new friend."

"Friend is hardly the right word, brother, and you know it. You entrusted that manipulative, lying, scheming, unworthy wench with this sensitive topic!"

"Poppycock! Don’t assume I don’t know what I’m doing!" Klaus raised his voice before he reminded himself to stay calm. Of course he still has doubts about the success of his mission but Katerina was desperate. If her life means something to her, she will make sure to make their deal work.

"And have you, omnificent brother, considered that she will use Elijah's weak spot to manipulate him against us? You are delusional to believe that this strumpet can mean anything to him IF she even gets a reaction out of him."

"Stop this nonsense, Rebekah! Of course I am aware of the risk but that's why I won't let her be unsupervised. And if there's anyone outside our family who might have a chance to get through his current lost condition, it's her. Don't believe I haven't noticed how our oh-so-noble brother lusted for her."

"Now you exaggerate, Nik. Elijah didn't lust after her, that hardly is what it was. He probably pitied her. And who can blame him? Elijah always was the one who makes himself strong for the weakest. Even if it happens to be for such a slut as Katherine Pierce. Or Katerina Petrova, doesn't make any difference if I'm honest."

"I hardly matter, does it, sister? As long as she fulfills her mission,  we don't need to get to the bottom of our brother's questionable taste. And if Katerina proves to be useless to us, I simply kill her. It's a win-win for both situations." The corner of his lips curled upwards, vividly imagining the downfall of Katherine Pierce.

"And what if she is successful? Do you simply pardon her?"

The grin on Klaus's lips fade and his expression grew stern.

"I'll see. It probably depends on our dear brother's view. Can't have him turning his back on us again if I kill his lover. Although it wouldn't be the first time." A shrug followed his words, although Klaus is aware this might be going to be a problem in the future. He can't picture Elijah having a serious interest in the doppelgänger but one never knows. Especially because he does remember the time in Mystic Falls, shortly after Elijah handed over the last white oak stake to him, where he asked him to pardon Katerina.

What were his words? 'As your family, as your only living brother, I would ask that you provide me with this opportunity to feel, to care. To love.' If Elijah truly meant what he was saying back then, if his supposed feelings for this horrible doppelgänger weren't a mere charade, then his plan should work out. One could believe him that he would welcome it if it were anyone else but Katerina Petrova. But unfortunately, Elijah had developed a pretty intense connection with her and still seemed to believe he could find the naive human girl somewhere inside her.

A fool, that's all he could say regarding this matter.

And a dangerous fool, Klaus thought to himself. If he doesn't have Katerina under absolute control, there is the risk that she'll make the situation worse. Elijah had already betrayed them once when it came to this horrible person.

"Don't worry, Rebekah. I'll have it under control and as soon as we have Elijah back, we will deal with the Hollow. I'm positive we will see each other soon. Until then, take care of you, little sister."

With that, Klaus ended the phone call and returned his attention to the small, French army that he has created.

▬▬xxx▬▬

Manosque, France

Katherine had been racking her brains over the last few days about how to proceed.

She couldn’t just talk to Elijah and say, 'Hey, your family is waiting for you, they really suck, but they also really miss you so it's still a win for you.'

She also could not try to break his neck and deliver him to Klaus. That was unfortunately not the goal of the task, even if that would have been probably the easiest variant as Elijah was apparently not in an alarm position at the moment.

What else was left? Flirting with him and turning his head? That felt wrong on so many levels.

They had been together once and had separated, or rather, he had separated. She refused to come anywhere close to flirting with him because although she is a great actress, deep down she cannot forget that he rejected her. Trying to force herself to flirt with him would make her feel cheap. Why did she still have to deal with it after all these years? She could have something so much better right now. Well, she could, but then Klaus would tear off her head. She still wonders how he managed to find her. She thought they were finally even...

So what was left? And above all, what would preserve her dignity?

Until further notice, she had limited herself to reluctantly going back to the pub. Reluctantly, because she didn’t want to be near him. Meanwhile, she had no doubt that he could not remember her (otherwise he would have reacted to her, right?), but it still caused her discomfort.

An Original that was potentially out of control was nothing she wanted to be close to. After all, one could not know what such memory loss could do. Although there were no signs of aggressive behavior, Elijah seemed exceptionally peaceful and at peace with herself every day she listened to him play.

Maybe her discomfort was just because she didn’t like looking at him. Not because he wasn’t a handsome man - because he is - but simply because it reminded her of what she had lost. Many years ago...

Apart from that, she had to admit that this new style of clothing, which had nothing to do with his usual formal appearance, looked forbiddenly sharp. The suits were incredibly sexy but these Henleys he apparently started liking to wear? It was a hot look on him. If they didn’t already know each other (or rather knew each other), he would definitely be the type of man she would appeal to.

Even now, when she currently sat in the pub again to watch Elijah play, she felt this feeling arise. It made her remember things she wanted to forget. Not because they were bad things, but because they were good memories; sometimes quite passionate memories.

What was that?

Is she starting to feel attracted to him and dwell in passionate and hot memories just because he looked different and she watched him play?

Please no, she can't have that.

Those were thoughts she felt ashamed of because she didn’t want to feel that way about him. In fact, she hated it. She didn’t want to adore a man, let alone someone who didn’t want her!

Katherine downed her drink and shook her head before she grabbed her purse and left the Pub in the middle of a song he was just playing.

▬▬xxx▬▬

It had been a few days before Katherine dared to go back to the pub. As if she were afraid of what awaited her there (which she certainly was not - at least not in that way).

The last few days she had spent on the Côte d'Azur, away and out of Manosque, switching off her head, enjoying life. Without thinking about Klaus, who probably had her followed. Without thinking about Elijah, her ex, who (fortunately) couldn’t remember her and who she was supposed to bring back to his family. They have been beautiful days. But somehow ..., maybe it was her paranoia, but at some point, she had started to get concerned. As if Klaus were stalking at every corner and waiting to put her to an end.

His appearance in Paris had completely ruined her inner peace. She would even go so far as to say that the fear of him was back. He had surprised her completely unexpectedly and she knew that he was not joking when it came to his brother. If she wasn’t successful then..., then she will have to run again, hide, and assume false identities. A terrible thought.

So before focusing on this disaster, she preferred to focus on the piano.

Admittedly, this activity here was a waste of his talent, his playing was a piece of background music. People listened to him and clapped when he finished his play, but basically, no one really appreciated it. At least not in a way that would have been appropriate.

Elijah had never shown his instrumental talent openly, or rather rarely. She didn’t know the exact reasons for this, but she could imagine that the Elijah she knew would never give his talent to something so inferior.

As in the days before, there were different glasses, empty and some with leftovers on the piano, people chatting while he was playing, toasting each other, laughing loudly, and leaving the building whenever they liked.

Normal behavior in a pub where nothing was out of the ordinary.

At least if you ignored Elijah’s presence - he was the one who didn't fit in there. And yet nothing disturbed him. He seemed like he didn't mind it. Again, the behavior of the people was normal for a pub but the way that Elijah seemed entirely unbothered by the lack of respect?

He, who expected and demanded respect from others, accepted this behavior.

Katherine was sure that - if this had been the normal Elijah - speeches would have been already held and heads would have rolled. Another proof that this man was a different person.

But she thought too much about it again. And thinking too much about the same things wasn't recommended.

Katherine, who was sitting at the bar as usual, emptied her glass and decided to devote herself to her book again. A book whose content she didn’t care about but which was a good cover.

She needed a reason to sit in a pub every night Elijah played there (which was actually not every day). Admittedly, reading was a strange reason to visit a pub, but at least it stopped people from addressing her. The French people are incredibly flirty and of course, tried their luck with any beautiful woman they believed are available. Of course, it was not surprising, but she had actually received several requests for more drinks, to trips, or other flirting attempts. She really preferred that boring book over those fruitless attempts of desperate men.

So that’s what Katherine did. She sat at the bar, ordered a drink from time to time, and also let her gaze wander to Elijah every now and then. Just to make sure that he was still there and that they hadn't switched the player.

She felt quite stupid about it, but she hoped to learn something about him by getting acquainted with this new Elijah. Who knows, maybe she recognized certain patterns?

Every now and then, although she thought it was impossible, she actually lost herself in the book she had procured. Not because it was interesting, but because she preferred to focus on something that had nothing to do with Elijah.

"Mademoiselle, voici un verre pour elle," First, Katherine did not feel addressed, but when the bartender pushed a glass of whiskey over the counter, she raised her head in amazement. She didn’t order anything? And she wouldn’t take a drink from a stranger, either. Precaution, if one so will. It’s nice that a stranger buys her a drink, but she really didn’t need that, especially if she hadn't supervised it.

Katherine closed her book and packed it back in her bag which was just big enough to fit it.

"Non, il doit y avoir un malentendu - no, that must be a misunderstanding. Please tell the person that it is nice, but he should not give his bought drink to me," Katherine retorted and was about to push the glass away from her when an all too familiar voice sounded behind her.

"Forgive me, I didn't intend to insult you."

Katherine turned and looked at Elijah’s face. How had she not noticed that he had stopped playing?

"Don't worry, I definitely didn’t take it as an insult," was all she could respond because she was ... puzzled. How did she end up in this situation where he buys her a drink? He doesn't even know her.

"Then I am reassured. It should actually be just a courtesy because I saw that your glass is empty and I know you're here often."

Did he? Katherine was surprised that he seemed to recognize her from her previous visits.

"That's really nice. Perhaps I should reconsider my initial aversion. Do you like to take a seat? Perhaps we can share a drink." Maybe she should really seize this opportunity, even if it was indeed unexpected. She didn’t expect him to talk to her.

Elijah accepted her invitation, sat down on the empty bar chair next to her, and ordered a beer.  A beer, not even a glass of whiskey, what an unusual choice for him.

"You seem to have had the right instinct, how did you know I liked whiskey?" she asked innocuously and politely, although it was hard to just have a casual conversation with him. He wasn't just anyone, after all.

"I deciphered it from the empty whiskey glass in front of you", he retorted and a tiny smile is playing along his lips. "You’re a tourist, right?"

"What gave me away?", she asked, seriously interested although she thought she knew the answer. She was also thankful that she was capable of coming up with a quick counter-question and not starting to stumble. That would have been embarrassing.

"You speak English and most French don’t speak English within their own country. Admittedly, many aren’t really skilled at it when they do."

"Hmm, can I assume you’re a tourist too? After all, your English is pretty good." A stupid question, after all, she knew that he was not French, but she wanted to keep the conversation going. She had to find out more about him, about this new version of Elijah.

"I wouldn’t call myself a tourist, I’ve lived here for some time."

"Interesting, where do you originally come from, may I ask?"

This question seemed to make him hesitate; she recognized it by the hint of a frown, which was really only slightly indicated.

Does that mean he didn’t know where he had lived before? As far as she knew, he had been living in New Orleans the entire time before this ... loss of memory happened. He couldn't have just woken up in France one day, could he? Why didn’t Klaus give her more information?

"I have lived in the United States before, but I have always felt a connection with France. Life here is simply more beautiful."

"I agree, it really is beautiful here." She could well imagine that the real Elijah would also like it here.

Before she could continue her conversation, Elijah got his beer, which he toasted to her.

"To a continued wonderful stay."

"To a continued wonderful stay," she repeated before she took a sip of her whiskey. Elijah did the same but with his beer which she noticed that he enjoyed. He wasn't grossed out by it - which obviously can be expected because if new Elijah didn't like beer, he wouldn't order it. But still, it was a fascinating discovery.

Katherine also knew that this was probably a unique opportunity that opened up for her here. How and where else would she have such a casual conversation with him? Especially because in this case, it hadn't been her who initiated it and therefore, it's impossible that he could grow suspicious of her.

"Did you ever thought of returning to your homeland?", Katherine finally questioned to keep the conversation going.

Elijah thought about it for a rather quick moment. "No, I don't think of moving away from here. At least not for the moment. I feel at home here, why trade this for something else?"

His question made Katherine wonder if he knows he has family in the United States. If he even misses them in case he knows of them.

"I think I can understand that pretty well. I rarely feel at home somewhere, so if I feel comfortable somewhere, I'm going to enjoy and appreciate it as long as it lasts." Katherine doesn't like to give such insights into her thoughts because it is the truth. Katherine rarely feels at home somewhere, no matter how generous and luxurious the accommodation or how beautiful the landscape is. She is used to not staying for too long; the price of being always on the run. Eventually, even if there's no such reason, she starts to feel uncomfortable. If she stays too long in one place, the risk of someone starting to notice her gets too high. One won't remember a random person but one certainly will remember a frequent guest. Isn't that why she's having this conversation with Elijah in the first place? Because he started to notice her frequent visits? 

It surprised her that she was so ... genuine with him but she assumed that despite everything, he’s still somehow ... him. Perhaps it is what she wanted to believe. In fact, she doesn’t know what she wanted to believe or not. She’s confused and still overtaxed by this surprising conversation. 

Katherine noticed that Elijah watched her with interest. As if he was analyzing something. Is he going to recognize her?

"So I assume you're returning soon to where you initially come from?" he choose to ask which caused her to shake her head with a smile.

"No, I'm on vacation. As I said, the south of France is a beautiful place. The chic beaches, picturesque places, unspoiled landscapes, idyllic mountain villages, and the impressive rocky coasts are definitely worth a visit." It's a shame that she cannot enjoy the beautiful landscape like a normal tourist. "I still have a lot planned and I think I can’t leave until I’ve done everything." 

How true. After all, she had a mission that was unfortunately not as beautiful and easy as marveling at picturesque places and beautiful beaches.

Klaus had ruined France for her. On the other hand..., if she were successful, she might actually be able to start a new chapter. She would be free, her main enemy would no longer be her problem. Anything else would be manageable then.

"That sounds like a very versatile program," said Elijah, bringing his beer to his lips.

Katherine nodded, "It is. It remains to be seen whether I will succeed."

"I keep my fingers crossed for you," he replied before he emptied the last sip of his beer and then conjured an apologetic smile on his lips.

"I have to say goodbye now, the duty calls," he glanced at the abandoned piano with a wink. "It was nice to talk to you and of course, I wish you a continued nice evening."

"Then of course I don’t want to stop you. Thanks again for the drink," she raised the glass a little bit and offered him a genuine smile. Elijah returned the smile, a slight hint of his dimples visible before he returned to the piano.

Now that there was some space between them, Katherine reviewed the conversation. Talking to Elijah was surprisingly easy as if there had never been a past connection between them. And, although she shouldn't interpret too much into it, she still wondered how he noticed her. Sure, the pub wasn't that big but there certainly were other guests who visit frequently as well. Did she feel flattered? Perhaps. But only a little bit. Right? Damn, Katherine!

Although she had sworn to herself that someone like Elijah, someone from the past, someone whose chapter has been closed years ago, had no influence over her anymore, he still seemed to hold some kind of power over her. The thing is ... it felt nice talking to him. So familiar. Like nothing bad ever happened between them. And in all honesty ... she missed these talks she used to have with him.

She knew it was wrong and against her principles. Gosh, she could slap herself for even feeling that way. She couldn’t even blame it on the alcohol or Elijah's new, very unexpected but still very fitting dress style. Only she is at fault and perhaps a cold shower is needed to get some sense back into her.

It really is for the best if she leaves now.

She took her purse and left the pub even before Elijah started to play again. If there’s one thing she’s really good at, it’s running away.

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A/N: Kalijah's first interaction after their breakup. Who would have thought that memory-less Elijah is going to buy her a drink?

Please consider leaving feedback as it keeps my muse for writing alive. ♥

[calypso-finale]

Seventy.

If you invite my mother to dinner, you always got to be aware that there will be paparazzi outside and look at that, she is walking in with paparazzi taking so many pictures, the flashes are blinding. New York is always a walkway for her, a moment for her to show herself out and about but it’s her last day here before she goes back, I thought I would catch up with her before she went back. Even though I have been busy with the whole apartment issue I wanted to speak to my mother, I want to tell her that she needs to stop stressing my dad out too, and also the younger siblings don’t deserve the shit, we are all grown now. We can now make our own minds up, she needs to let it go and stop destroying things that don’t need to be destroyed, if Imani is feeling it, then I know my younger siblings will too. With Imani telling me I had to bring it up, Rylee won’t speak to her and won’t care because she is in the UK so she won’t deal with it, but I want to make sure she understands what she is doing, we are literally grown now. That is the past and she needs to move on, this is crazy to be acting that way. Getting up from the chair seeing my mom “hey baby, I didn’t warn you about that” rolling my eyes “you didn’t, I come out of the car with no warning” hugging my mom “sorry, look at you. You look different today” I pulled a face as I moved back “in what way mom?” I questioned “not in a bad way, you look more grown I would say, you look like you have done something to unburden yourself” letting out an oh “yeah I have actually, look at you peeping that” she is so weird for noticing, sitting down across from her “I notice everything, maybe a little passionate about things but I do Ti, I pick up on things and maybe your dad hates that” shuffling my chair in “you don’t need to ask” my mom pointed at the waiter and he smiled walking off, she is predictable with her order too “well it’s a shame you don’t notice what you do at home mom” I blurted out “that is sassy? What is that all about?” I wonder how she will take this really but I don’t want her to think I invited her just because, she is not acting right “it is mom, I just want better for my younger siblings really, we are older now, we can deal and do things differently for them, something we couldn’t change, and we know what it is like living with you both when you are arguing” she huffed out “I know you don’t want to hear it but Imani spoke to me” my mom nodded her head slowly “I need a wine first” she smiled, of course she does, I will wait of course.

My mom seems light hearted with it all, she isn’t mad but is ok with what I said “so tell me why are you looking so happy? You look less burdened? You was burdened when I met you, when I saw you on your birthday” she added “because me and Taylan haven’t been speaking really and I had a lot on my mind that I did want to bring up to him, but I never got the moment and then I did. He did say that I did it because of my dad talking and I said no, it’s me but we are together, that is a thing. We are ok, we are happy, but I am moving back out, I am currently finding my own apartment to live in. I think what I said to him that I moved in too quick, we moved too quick. The thing is, I did kind of follow Rylee in what she did, but she did it for other reasons, she had a baby too so stupid me. But we are ok, Taylan is ok with it, and I think we are going to start again. I told him that what you did was not just upsetting my sister, but you affected my family, and he sees that, he accepts that this is what he did because it’s horrible to know that Imani is seeing that too, she is sensitive and you always said that mom, look I am the second eldest. When my eldest isn’t there, then I need to be. You aren’t hearing dad, but you need to hear me because you can’t go back home and act like this. Imani is around dad a lot, and she said he is stressed out, he is smoking more weed, he is smoking more in general because of you mom” my mom picked her wine up and drank, she knows it and I can tell she does “I am happy for you, that you did that Ti, you took a step back together and you both spoke” nodding my head “and I also want the mess my man made to be fixed, I need to do this because it upsets me” I pointed at myself.

I think my mom understands the issue now, she understands why this is even happening “look, I know dad is smoking more weed, the man coughs a lung in the middle of the night and then he leaves the bedroom, he doesn’t sleep, and we argue more” shaking my head “and it’s because of you mom, nobody else. Why are you stressing him out over something that happened, we can’t take it back. We can’t take back what she did, that’s it. You are affecting us all; Aziel is here now what you want to do with that? Lose him? I have learnt that Rylee isn’t scared to cut people off, she is riding for her man and she will cut people off and even if that person is her mother” staring at my mom “she doesn’t speak to me anyways, the only thing I get to see is the pictures she send but other then that she doesn’t message or speak to me but will speak when she needs my help which she always will” my mom said “if you want it to be a battle then you’re battling someone that is a mixture of you and dad, she won’t back down mom, it will be nasty. I don’t want that for you” my mom looked away from me “my mom is right; I am a bad mother. I allowed her freedom to do all that right under us and even Chris. Because he has a soft spot for this man he let it happen. My mom even made me question my grandchild, was he a child from grooming” my mouth fell open “it sounds bad, it does” she said “momo can’t stand Rylee, she said she caused you shit and she is a brat. Saying that aloud is horrible, you can’t say that is normal mom, you can’t” she put her head down “I feel disappointed in me, like I do. My mom really just pressured me to make sure I know how shit I am, and now I understand that I am” she looked at me “no mom, you may have been busy, but you was always there. You and dad protected us a lot with things, trust me. When Rylee and I did speak, even sexually we aren’t like that, we aren’t you and dad my god we aren’t, we was so protected, but it happens. She would say it to me, I hate sleeping with random men, I can’t do it. I think Rylee is more scared of it then me” my mom squinted her eyes “and you wouldn’t think it, and I said it to her, you were always lusted over but yet you’re the shyest about it, or you don’t like speaking on it, you did what you needed to do, it happened. She liked him and she wanted him, we can’t change that and now she is happy with him mom, you can’t push dad for something that happened in the past or beat yourself up about it” I said.

My mom swallowed hard “to think she did is right under us, like we was there and that time she changed, I saw it and I said it to her that she is different. You knew it too?” nodding my head “I did, and the following day she was braiding his hair, then I saw she had a connection to him straight away and I knew she wasn’t going to let it go, I was the one that took the picture of his hair being braided by her, that is her hands on that single cover” my mom clenched her jaw “you can be mad with me too, it happened. I saw her the next day and she was happy and fine, she said he was good with her” my mom put her hand up “what you want to do mom? It happened, they have a child now, you can’t act this way over the past because you will lose not only Rylee but dad, he is stressed out. Momo isn’t the biggest fan of Rylee so of course she has left you like this to feed hate into it” what does my mom want “the situation wasn’t groomed, wasn’t manipulated, I was there, and I saw it all mom. I am sorry I let you down because I didn’t say and I regret it, I regret that I did. Stupid me but it wasn’t that, we should be thankful that Oakley isn’t the type of man to manipulate her, to use her for money, I mean the baby thing could have really twisted the whole thing, like he could have left her and done a lot of damage, the scary part mom she went to London her own and met him, he took her in. I feel so bad that I ever let it slip but this whole thing, it needs to end. If you don’t care about anyone then care for Aziel because he deserves to be bought up with us and not just there with nobody, I hate that I don’t see him, but you push her away by doing this she will do what we do to Momo and we hate seeing her” my mom looked away from me “don’t say that” she mumbled “it’s true, look you’re stressing dad out. I don’t like what I am hearing, and I don’t like that he is stressed out over the fact you are pushing to do what? It’s over mom! It’s done” my mom wasn’t expecting this from me but she is getting it “I think we can all count the blessings that Oakley isn’t the bad guy he’s getting painted to be, yes he could have waited. But I mean we all saw what Rylee was like and really yeah, I didn’t help, I was the fall person” my mom looked away from me.

My mom is so silent with me “you girls spring into action when there is something wrong with dad mhmm” she said to me “well he is smoking more, Imani said it. It’s not him mom, you are stressing him out. I bet deep down he feels he didn’t do much, but he did enough. He can’t beat himself up about it, you got to stop mom” she has too “if you was in the wrong I would say it but you sound so much like Momo, you telling me you look into Aziel eyes and see a child that was groomed? This is what you’re saying” my mom gasped “shut up, don’t say that. I don’t ok!” she spat “then stop this! You’re not your mom, please stop it. This is my fault too, you’re making the home uncomfortable for my younger siblings too” I added “your dad doesn’t care for them, the boys chase him. He is so stuck on your girls more then anything, Emi is a smile and wave, but he only has three kids in his eyes, the rest are extras to him. Three girls and a grandchild, your dad is more stuck on you three then anything. The boys chase him, yeah ok he pays attention to them, but he is amazed with how Junior is doing well. The way he dotes on Aziel is how he should be with Emi, but ok. I will drop it, I will” I doubt my mom will “mom there will be a point in life where your Christmas will be small, Imani is next. The boys, you will have and Emi, stop pushing people. Stop doing it, stop saying things. And like dad mentioned it, but you can’t say about someone’s looks, you can’t compare him to Taylan. That is wrong, I learnt a lesson here with this whole shit, to shut my mouth really, I needed to do some searching, the only person I was hurting was my sister and my nephew because it’s going to be in the arms of Oakley she will go too mom” my mom put her head down, she needs to wake up “that doesn’t mean you try to meddle in what they got, just leave it, please” she needs to realise this “ok” she breathed out “and with Emi, we all know the last child was something you wanted” my mom glared at me “because I didn’t raise you girls, ok. And look how that turned out, one sleeping with a grown man, you having sex in the home and Imani with mental issues. He did a great job, don’t paint a picture he is great, he was just being a dad because I wad working” there isn’t no helping her “but I will leave Rylee alone, that is fine” if she can do one thing it would be nice.

Smiling at Aziel, he is on FaceTime with my dad, and he is showing the words he knows “go back to that word?” My dad said “rice, rice baby” Aziel yelped out “who taught you that?” My dad asked “daddy!” Aziel spat “daddy showing you rhymes, I get that” my dad looks so proud “tell papa those words baby too” he pointed at the book “that is so sweet, I am proud of him Rylee” I grinned “I just need to potty train him, that is a battle for me right now” that is my battle “let him hang with his dad more, like going into the bathroom more. Trust me he will want to be like him, they always do” seeing Oakley as just woke up and come into the kitchen “you want me to make you something” I asked, he waved me off “it’s ok, you good for today though?” He is squinting his eyes, it’s like he jumped out of bed “yeah, but I need to drop him off with Lillian and then we good to go” he smiled at me “thanks though” looking back at my phone “so you good yeah?” Nodding my head “you look tired dad, not sleeping. Studio getting you, beating your old ass” he laughed out “man shut up” picking Aziel up and placing him on the ground, he wants his dad now “well, I’m only saying” sitting on the stool “you look tired, I was shocked you was awake really” he grinned “I don’t sleep, got the gang with me. Let me show you” he got up “I miss big A though, my dude for real” I cooed “niggas!” My dad spat “say what’s up to Rylee” he turned his phone, he is so embarrassing “oh my god dad” I said, seeing Imani and Ti “niece!!! Gang!” Herb spat “hey everyone, dad is embarrassing me now” I grumbled “I just woke up and you all are there having fun” look at them “we outside niece, come out!” Rolling my eyes “whatever! Losers” I am bitter “see what I mean” my dad turned the phone to his face “we out with the family, good vibes” looking at Aziel “hey! What are you doing!? Why are you screaming” he is stomping and screaming “he wants my phone” the way he is pulling Oakley’ shorts, he about to yank them off “stop it yo, mind out!” Oakley said “come here, look who’s here getting high, come. See papa instead” Oakley walked off and Aziel chased him crying “duty calls for you daughter, busy” rolling my eyes “yeah, I better get him dad. Nice seeing you though, and everyone. Jealous” he smiled at me “miss you, and it’s broke my heart you ain’t coming down for Christmas either” I cringed “it’s our first home and there is a lot going on here, and I want to be here for him, I need to be” my dad understands but he’s still upset about it “love you” blowing him a kiss “love you too sad, bye” disconnecting the call, Aziel is such a brat. Making my way to where he is screaming which is the bathroom “Aziel, you’re not taking a showers. Come here. Shall I make you food? Who you texting?” I asked, he seems so engrossed “my dad, and yeah please” nodding my head grabbing Aziel along with me “water! I want water” he stresses me out.

Frowning at Aziel “daddy” this boy, as soon as I get him out of the car seat he is climbing to the front seat “hey, you need to go” Oakley said to him, stepping down and closing the door. Walking around the car, opening the passenger side “miss you dad” he gave his dad a hug “miss you too, see you soon son” he turned around “what’s up!” He spat, Oakley chuckled shaking his head “I got it” he hasn’t got shit this child, grabbing his changing back and picking him up “let’s go” closing the door “you going to be a good boy for auntie” I asked but seeing Diji has come down “awwww you came out for us” I said to him “I saw, I goes I think they here. I bought you a ball you know” he pointed at him “let me take that from you” he took the changing bag “say thank you, he bought you a ball” walking behind Diji to their house “no” frowning at Aziel “that is rude” Lillian looks like she just woke up “morning?” I said to her and she just laughed, placing Aziel down “I had a nap and it turned out to be an hour, so I just woke up” hugging her “appreciate this though, he should be ok” Aziel looked up at Diji “we don’t do that grown man doodoo bro, you better use the bathroom” I laughed “no he’s done that, it should only be be a wet diaper but he’s changed, we should be back by then really, maybe two hours the longest” Aziel came back to me again “aww no uncle was joking, he got a new phone” unzipping his coat “you know auntie, don’t be silly now” taking his coat off “is Oakley still moody” I chuckled and then heard him honk his horn “there you go, I am wasting time. But he is what he is, he’s in that mindset but he’s fine. Bye baby” waving at Aziel “mommy come back” he said “I will be back you like auntie” Lillian looked at him “yeah we going to have so much fun, come. I bought some things for you” rushing off, Oakley didn’t need to honk like that but he’s probably nervous right now so I will let him off. Getting into the car “why? You didn’t need to do that, Aziel was about to walk back out, I had to stand there” he reversed out “sorry” he apologised “don’t be, what was your dad texting you about?” I hope nothing goes off, he doesn’t deserve the drama “that my mom will be out, she is disappointed in me” letting out an oh “right, because you’re with me and that you’re building a home, you’re happy. Fuck her!” I spat “I am, just hope things ain’t bad, just you know how it is. Thank you for coming” he doesn’t need to thank me but he did, I’ll accept that.

I will eventually get this bitch out of here; she can’t live a good life and get away with it with how she treats him “you ok?” I asked him “yeah, yeah. Good. Let’s go” I wish we wouldn’t, I rather he just didn’t care but I need to be here for him, getting out of the car and waited for him to come come over to me, the gate opened so his dad is watching “alright” he held my hand, which made me happy he did that “I know you didn’t want to come you know” he knows me well “you know what Oakley, I see the sadness in your eyes because this is your home, you bought this and you have been kicked out of it several times, which gives you flashbacks to when you was fourteen, but that is over. You got a home, and it’s bigger. Hold your head up baby” I see it on his face “welcome home son” his dad opened the door, he says home like he’s welcomed like that “Rylee, come in” he let us in, he let my hand go as he went inside first “ladies first ended?” I said “nah, not like that. Just you know, I want to make sure nobody here to jump you” he looked behind him “oh brother, you’re slick” closing the door behind me “Juke” seeing his brother “nice to see you home” he said, “yeah what room?” He asked “this one, the games one we changed it” Oakley looked at me “you don’t have to come in, you know what. Just stay in the living room across there, I won’t be long” nodding my head, I guess he doesn’t know really what she may say to me. Juke opened the door for me, what is this, being all nice. This place hasn’t changed since I was here really, everything is the same same and the people are the same too, they haven’t changed a bit. Sitting down on the couch “you want the TV on?” His brother asked him “not bothered” his dad closed the door and I just felt utter dread, I don’t know what is worse sitting with his nana or this. I swallowed hard, let me just get my phone out and look at that “how is Aziel?” His dad asked “he is good, he is learning so many words. He says rice rice baby, I think he got that from his dad so yeah” I smiled “we miss him a lot” nodding my head, I am sure he does “he was close to you” I mumbled, his fault for all this shit really.

Lillian sent me a picture of Aziel, he is sat on Diji lap watching TV which makes me happy that he is being good “you really love my son” looking up from my phone “you know you are more of my Juke age, I can’t lie I am shocked. We thought you was going to be a phase” squinting my eyes looking at his brother “what has Juke got anything to do with things? I saw Oakley and I liked him” I am so confused “no just your age, and really he is a pain Rylee. He has no intentions of even having a child, so this was a shock for him, so this why his mother assumes you trapped him, this is why she was mad with you. I’m just putting into perspective on what we saw on our side, you were practically a child, and Rachel she did want to take care of you until your mother came but then you got pregnant, it threw things off. I know my son; he doesn’t love and if he is around still then he probably has no money and he is a bum again” they don’t know him “we just bought house? I am confused on how you say he is broke? Five bedroom house to be exact, we are keeping the bums out really but I think your son is capable of being loved and giving love, he cares, and he wants a future” I smiled “he doesn’t love” Juke laughed “he loves the streets” they do not know him “no, he was made to love the streets because he was fourteen and thrown out, he had no choice in that. Nobody gave him the chance, really?” Glaring at Neil “I am going to put my life on it, and I can promise you now, the way you made him feel, including you Juke, you will all feel it, and you will know what it feels like to be in the streets, next time you want to make comments, keep it” Neil is so mad “you should have stuck by your son but you used and abused him for money” I pointed “I am not a little girl anymore and I certainly don’t need my mom to protect me, read the blogs. See what we bought” I smirked, I will have them out, I promise that.

The room is silent and that is how I want it, nobody speaking “fourteen million pound house?” Juke said in shock “the only way is up right” the door opened “Lee, come” Oakley said, getting up from the couch, I am not going to tell him anything because fuck them, he doesn’t need to worry about them “is that it?” I said to him, he closed the door “she wants to see you” my eyes bulged “to say I am too black?” Oakley laughed “no man, just come” he is smiling so it’s bonus, maybe he did catch her off guard then with all the fighting. I don’t really like to see someone with the end of life part of Cancer, it makes me so sad. I took in a sharp breath seeing her, oh the last time I saw her she was full of life, I just froze because what the hell “sit, come” Oakley waved me over “pretty thing aren’t you” she smiled, they are forgetful people at this stage, so I take that “thank you” sitting next to him “I want to know my grandson always smiling like this, you are very beautiful, you chose well” looking at Oakley “she is alright, she is American. I need to bring her into our way of living, she don’t like beans, she finds it weird” his nana laughed “oh dear yeah, you love her don’t you. This is the only girl I have met with you Oakley I am sure of it. I can be happy knowing you settled, your mother is ok helping everyone but herself, not even her dad could help her, she can fix everyone’s life but her own, you are both going to have such cute children” Oakley looked at me “allow it” he shook his head “you love him and look after him, awww she is so sweet” I haven’t even spoken a word “she is, Nana. Man, I am sorry, for like all the shit I caused you, the shit I did. You know with selling your stuff and taking things from you” she stared at him “you was a child looking for money Oakley, I just want you to be happy. I have lived with this for a while until I couldn’t. Now I keep forgetting things, but I could never forget you and Juke, my little joys. You stole from me, but you gave it back, you did. I may be losing my mind, but you came to me and gave me it back when you made money” he nodded his head “look after him, he needs it. he’s a lone wolf my grandson, joy to see you with someone” I smiled a little, she is actually happy for him. The white side isn’t all that mad, just the mother, maybe “I love her, and I don’t really know what love is because I don’t, I just know that I do because I get happy when I see her in the morning, and I am at peace when I am with her. I know I do and I want you to know that I have found someone, I find it hard to express my feelings and I know this upsets Lee a lot but I know in my heart how much I do care for her and really she is all I got, my family don’t want to know” he choked out “and she is so sweet. Hey, you stop being silly now, we don’t do tears. Unless they are happy, you’re not alone Oakley Neil” he laughed wiping his tears “reminds me when I wasn’t in trouble you would say it like that and give me that side eye” he chuckled “Wait, I remember Aziel” rubbing Oakley’ back “don’t worry about it” he smiled at her, he is actually crying, he cares a lot my lovey.

[purplesurveys]

1696

Typical Information

What is your name? Hello! I’m Robyn.

When is your birthday? April 21st, 25 years ago.

Locations

Where do you currently reside? I’m from the Philippines. Born, raised, residing.

If money weren't taken into account, where would you like to live? Somewhere the citizens are actually taken care of...countries maybe like South Korea, Australia, Germany, Finland, etc.

How many states have you been to? We have provinces instead of states, and out of 81, I think I can say I’ve been to around at least 30. Not a lot, but I’ve definitely traveled around.

How many countries have you been to? Seven, all around Southeast and East Asia.

Which city do you believe has the prettiest skyline? I’ve never been to either, but I would go with New York and Chicago.

What is the prettiest location in your city? I dunno...maybe the local museum. You don’t really go here if you’re a tourist, though. The nearest touristy place would be Metro Manila but even that’s not a very exciting choice because the most you’d be able to do is shop. If you’re going to the Philippines, go to either the beaches or to cities like Baguio and Vigan which are very rich in local culture and history.

What is the best restaurant you've ever eaten at? I honestly don’t think I’ve found it yet. I like exploring restaurants, but I haven’t discovered any that’s been close to like, changing my life.

Have you ever traveled to or through a mountain range? Which one(s)? Yes, the Sierra Madre when we went to Tanay.

If you took someone on a tour of your town, what would you show them? The museum I mentioned and a couple of the bars and cafés that’d give you a view of the Metro Manila skyline.

What is the farthest you've ever been from home? Bali, Indonesia.

Approximately how many times have you traveled by airplane? Enough for me not to be able to count it by hand.

Have you ever traveled by train? Nah. I’ve commuted by train, but I’ve never used it to travel from one side of the country to another, or to a different country altogether.

Have you ever traveled by Greyhound? I have no idea what that is.

What's the farthest distance you've traveled from home for a concert? Around three weeks ago, I flew all the way to Thailand to see BTS’ Yoongi. Seemed to be a universal choice among Filipino ARMY since I can’t even tell you how many people I saw having flights to Singapore, Jakarta, and of course Bangkok as well to see him. 

It was awesome. Our flight to and from Bangkok was just jam-packed with fans and you can so easily tell because everybody has BT21 keychains on their bags, BT21 luggage, had on purple tops, etc (including me!). Our flight batch even took a group photo before we departed as a souvenir despite not knowing one another. The whole thing was just such a cool, sentimental experience; I’m very grateful to have been able to experience it all.

Have you been to the Capital of your state? I live in it.

Would you be more in your element camping in a tent or an RV? I’d go with the RV.

Music

Which album could you listen to from start to finish without getting bored? After Laughter by Paramore or Indigo by RM. BTS’ MOTS:7 is SO close to meeting this category but the On remix with Sia had to be on the album.

Who is your absolute favorite band / artist? Beyoncé will always own my heart. I entered late, but I am also a lifer with BTS. Paramore for bands.

Who are some other bands / artists you enjoy? Bruno Mars, SE SO NEON, Twice, Seventeen, The Weeknd, Ed Sheeran, Miley Cyrus. 

Who is your "Musical Mount Rushmore" (four favorite musicians)? BTS with all their 7 faces smushed into one spot, Beyoncé, Paramore, Bruno.

What is the best concert you've ever been to? Yoongi for the sentimental value, but GOD my crowd fucking sucked I feel like I still have to give best concert to my 2018 Paramore show. I’ll have to tie them. I love Yoongi to death and I had a fucking blast; I just wish the crowd was as hyped up as I was. Can you believe I barely heard anyone in my section singing and rapping along for those two hours? HOLY SHIT?????? Why would you not NANEUN UKHAE the fuck up with Yoongi already right in front of you???? 

Have you ever met any musicians? Which ones? How were they? Nothing other than a quick run-in with Greyson Chance when he was at a mall I never expected some celebrity to be in.

Are there any musicians you're dying to meet? Not really. I’m okay with not meeting the boys either. I’d much rather admire them from afar.

What is the most recent album you've purchased? That would be Yoongi’s D-DAY.

What is an album you're currently really into? Well, that would also be D-DAY. Partly because of the post-concert depression.

Do you have a favorite genre of music? If so, which one? K-pop.

Have you ever composed a musical piece? Nope.

Have you ever written any song lyrics? I have not.

[elmersnepalilitblog]

Week 6 Blog

Peak

Roland Smith

Pages read: 220-246

Word Count : 700

Summary (332):

In the final section of the book, Peak continues the story by showing us his experience about his team attempting to reach the summit. The climb was going well and at one point, they were only 32 feet away from the summit. When this happens, Sun-jo struggles with breathing and can’t keep up with the oxygen change. Peak realizes this and remembers what Zopa told him about how Sun-jo wouldn’t be able to finish the climb without Peak. In an act of selflessness, Peak decided to go over to Sun-jo and help him out with him reaching the summit. When they are only 10 feet away, Peak tells Sun-jo to go ahead and touch the summit pole. At first, Sun-jo is confused by why but then he realizes what Peak is doing and thanks him. Yogi and Yash congratulate Peak on this and Peak records Sun-jo reaching the summit. Yash and Sun-jo after reaching the summit, start to go down into the side of Nepal while Peak and Yogi go back down the mountain to Camp six. When they reach Camp Six, one of Shek’s officers is there and they tell Peak that there will be a team that will help him get down to Base camp in order to talk to them. They interrogate Peak about what happened and Peak says that he was only able to reach Camp Six because he had to deliver some things. After the interrogation, Josh talks to Peak at the camp and Peak tells him that he wasn’t able to reach the summit and that he is going back to New York with his family. When back in New York, Peak makes it in time for the twins' birthday and they have a reunion. Peak ends off the book by writing the final sentence in his moleskin and of the story of “The only thing you'll find on the summit of Mount Everest is a divine view. The things that really matter lie far below."

Critical Analysis (171):

Smith’s inclusion of the final line of the book "The only thing you'll find on the summit of Mount Everest is a divine view. The things that really matter lie far below", really gives the reader a satisfying ending and a beautiful quote. This quote goes to show that you can be at the top of the literary world and there is nothing really up there of importance. The most important things in our lives are around us already and we just have to cherish them and not forget about them. Most people are always thinking about what more than what they achieve and this will often lead them to forget about what they already have and what they value. This is like going on vacation. It will be amazing and you will have a great time but at the end of the day, you will miss the feeling of home and you will realize what you didn’t have when you were away and on how much you miss those things.

Personal Response (197):

The final section of the book was amazing to read and was a good conclusion to this story. I thoroughly enjoyed reading about the team's struggle at the end and Peak’s selflessness to Sun-jo. It was a beautiful ending but I feel like the descent down the mountain could have been more detailed. While in the book we do see that Peak says that he doesn’t remember much about the climb down, it still is a bit disappointing to not see what struggles they went through and other obstacles that they might have faced. Overall, this mini complaint doesn’t take over the fact that the book was an amazing read and that at certain points, you could really imagine what it could have been like for Peak. The ending with Peak returning to his family was amazing to read and seeing how they are all happy to have Peak back was a touching site. The ending quote was also very beautiful and I think that it is one of my favorites quotes because of what it implies. I’m very happy that I was able to read this book and I am excited to read my next book.

[mclennonlgbt]

John's hard relationship with "Yesterday" (MASTERPOST)

1965: On August 1, 1965 Paul performs "Yesterday" on the TV special Blackpool Night Out. During rehearsals before the show, the Beatles entourage watches Paul run through "Yesterday" along with the stage crew. Afterwards John makes a "loud and decidedly sarcastic remark" deriding the song in front of everyone present. Beatles publicist Tony Barrow says the remark "upset Paul for several hours".

2. 1970: An excerpt from "God" from "John Lennon/Plastic Ono Band" album: The dream is over, what can I say? The dream is over, Yesterday...

3. 1971: John came over to my loft one day and he was all excited,” [DJ Howard Smith] recalls. “He said, ‘I think I finally wrote a song with as good a melody as Yesterday.’” Sat at Smith’s piano, Lennon revealed he had a title – Imagine – but only a smattering of lyrics. For the rest he sang ‘scrambled eggs’. “He played it through and asked me what I thought. ‘It’s beautiful.’ ‘But is it as good as Yesterday?’ ‘They’re impossible to compare.’ So he played it again. And again. And he said, ‘You’ll see, it’s just as good as Yesterday.’ - Howard Smith, interview w/ Danny Eccleston for MOJO: John Lennon was haunted by yesterday, says confidante. (July 8th, 2013)

4. 1971: An excerpt from "How do you sleep?" from "Imagine" album: The only thing you've done was Yesterday, and since you've gone is just Another Day...

5. 1971: John and Yoko celebrate John’s 31st birthday in their hotel room in Syracuse, New York, surrounded by friends and guests. John sings: Why he had to go, I don’t know, he wouldn’t say… 

6. “Yesterday drove him crazy,” veteran New York journo/broadcaster Howard Smith told MOJO. “People would say, ‘Thank you for writing Yesterday, I got married to it, what a beautiful song…’ He was always civil. But it drove him nuts.” [x]

7. Elliot Mintz, "We All Shine On":

John and I did run into some trouble in Frankfurt, Germany… Somehow, the desk clerk at the airport hotel couldn’t find our reservations, and no amount of my pleading could convince him to give us some rooms. I reported the bad news to John, who’d been “hiding” in the hotel lobby by using his old disguise of staring close up at a wall.

“They have no rooms,” I said.

“They have rooms!” he said. “They always have rooms!”

“Maybe you can try?” I asked. “I mean, you are John Lennon. If anybody can get us rooms, you can.”

“I can’t do that,” he said. “I can’t say, ‘I’m a Beatle: give us rooms.’ ”

“John, it’s raining outside. We can’t walk around Frankfurt in the rain all night.”

John sighed and headed towards the front desk to reluctantly play the Beatle card. For the next few minutes, I watched as he and the clerk chatted, occasionally smiled, and at one point even laughed. And then, for some reason, John pointed at me. The clerk stared in my direction, nodding furiously. A few moments later, John came over with two keys.

“I told him you were Paul McCartney,” John said. “That seemed to work.”

It worked, all right. I was given a gorgeous suite with a feather bed and a sauna. A little later, the desk manager sent up a tray of delicious snacks and a bottle of wine. Life as Paul McCartney was clearly good.

But then, early in the morning, John was at my door, looking tired and miserable. “I couldn’t sleep,” he said. “This place is such a dive. They gave me a bloody closet.”

“What do you mean?” I asked. “This place is great!”

John stepped into the suite, surveyed its opulence, and his jaw practically hit the floor.

“I guess the desk manager liked the “fact that I wrote ‘Yesterday,’ ” I joked.

John didn’t laugh.

8. Real Life - demo (1977): Was I just dreamin', was it only yesterday? I used to hold you in my arms...

9. Playboy interview (1980): "I'd like to make at least one more album. And people know the songs from "Double Fantasy". We can go out and perform from "Double Fantasy" and the new album, rather than having to go back even to "Imagine" or we might do it, or even before "Imagine". I don't really want to go out and do... Yesterday... All my troubles seemed so far away... (sings jokingly)" [x]

10. Fred Seaman, talking about Paul being arrested for possession of marijuana: "What killed John was the fact that we heard that Paul is being forced by his Japanese jailers to play "Yesterday" over and over on a guitar. Paul loved it, you know" source MY CONCLUSION: John's relationship with Yesterday, like his relationship with Paul, was complicated. He clearly appreciated the song as one of McCartney's best, but on the other hand he was very jealous and fierce, and even a few years later set "Yesterday" as a role model. Most interesting is the mention of "Yesterday" in "How do you sleep?". Lennon simultaneously challenges everything Paul has done, but is unable to deny that this one song is a masterpiece. Certainly an important factor was that "Yesterday" is the first Beatles song to feature only Paul. Newspapers declared: "Paul McCartney #1 without the other Beatles". This must have appealed to John's abandonment issues. Not only was he afraid he was a worse songwriter than Paul, but he was also terrified that he would be abandoned by McCartney and the other Beatles.

[bad268]

plspls can i have a finn shelby x reader where they run away to america for a few years and have a whole family bc the shelby's dont approve of their relationship? and they only come back after their kids ( 4 kids, 2 boys and 2 girls ) kept pestering them about meeting their relatives. cue a big sappy emotional reunion with a dash of some relationship reveal in it.

We've Got Work to Do (Finn Shelby X Reader)

Fandom: Peaky Blinders

Requested: Clearly (I loved this and kinda ran with it. I hope you like it! Also shout out to Anon who wanted Finn content.)

Warnings: Fem-Reader, language, reader is called a whore, runaways

Summary: Finn and the reader run away from Small Heath, but some family business brings them back. What will the family think?

W.C. 1341

As always, my requests and ships are OPEN

MASTERLIST // HITLIST

~~(^Google/Wales Online)

It was the eve of my eighteenth birthday. My boyfriend of four years took me out to meet his brothers at the Garrison which did not go well. I heard Finn’s brothers call me unspeakable names, and they told him that I was just another whore who used him for his money. I know this is untrue, and he knows it’s untrue, but it still hurt that this was their first impression of me. I left the Garrison without hearing from any of them because if they did not approve of our relationship, there was no way we would be able to continue. 

I was laying in my room, crying and thinking that my relationship was over. That is until a knock from my window caught my attention. It was difficult to see through the uncleaned window and heavy rainfall, but I could still make out the figure of Finn. “What the hell are you doing? You’re going to get sick!” I lectured, pulling him into my room. “You are freezing, Finn!”

“I had to see you. You need to know that they hate everyone’s girls,” he explained, walking more into the room. “They say every one of ‘em is a traitor. But I don’t care what they think!”

“Finn, I do. They’re your family,” I said as I moved to take his soaking clothes off and replace them with spares he left at my house. “Their opinion matters to me.”

“Well, it doesn’t to me,” he stated, leaving no room for debate, as he changed his clothes. “I’ve got a wicked idea.”

“I’m listening,” I laughed as I helped him button his shirt. 

“What if we left?”

“I'm sorry?”

“We are eighteen. We can do whatever we want,” He explained. “I’ll quit the business, and we’ll go away. We don’t have to stay here.”

“Where would we go?”

“Wherever you want. Anywhere in the world.”

“I like the sound of America.”

That was the night we left Small Heath without a trace. We were on the first boat out of Birmingham and made it to America the next morning. 

We started in New York. We started for a week or so, but it was too flashy. Then we decided to move West. We stayed in all types of places until we reached Santa Fe. It was a place I had heard nothing of, and it was secluded. No gangs, no illegal business, and no judgment.

We decided to build our own life here. We were free. Free to be us without having to worry anymore.

~~

“John, Ava, Maya, Seb, come inside to wash up for supper,” I shouted from the kitchen window. The rest of the family, consisting of Finn, our five-year-old John, four-year-old Ava, two-year-old Maya, and one-year-old Sebastian, had been down by the creek since lunch while I had been writing for the newspaper I worked for. “Finn, help me set the table?”

“On it,” Finn responded as he lifted up Seb and Maya, the two youngest. “Come on. We gotta listen to your mum.” They all ran up the hill 

  “We were having fun, momma,” John said, running through the doors first. He pulled one of the dining chairs over to the sink, so he could wash his hands with some help from Finn. “Can we play more after we eat?”

“Sorry, baby, we can’t,” I replied, moving over to help Ava and Maya as Finn helped John and Seb wash their hands. “Got a call and we gotta leave early in the morning. That means bedtime right after dinner.”

Complaints rose from all four children, but they immediately became quiet once the food was served. I moved to serve Finn, but he stopped me, telling me to sit. Then, he places food onto both of our plates.

“Who called?” Finn started as we began to eat.

“Ada. She saw my article in the paper in Boston and reached out. I made her promise not to tell the family. But now, they’re in trouble, Finn.”

“When were you going to tell me?” Finn cut my explanation short.

“When it involved you,” I replied just as quickly. I leaned in to whisper, “Finn, everyone in the family got sent a black hand. Including us. We will discuss this more once the children are in bed.”

“Momma,” Seb cried.

“Are you all finished?” Finn asked as he started collecting all of the empty plates while I handled the crying child. He put all of the plates and utensils in the sink before leading the two older children toward the restroom. I took the two youngest to our room to clean them up before putting them into their separate cribs in the next room over.

Finn came into our room about an hour later and changed from his dirty clothes. He walked over to where I was sitting at my vanity, brushing my hair, and wrapped his arms around my shoulders. He leaned in to kiss my cheek before hiding his face in my neck and attacking me with small kisses. “Can we talk about it now?”

“I’ll tell you everything I know.”

“Who is it from?”

“Changrettas. The Italian mafia from New York.” I answered. “Ada said that Tommy is calling a family meeting on boxing day. Said we need to be there. Everyone from the family got the same card.” I stopped to stand and face Finn. I lifted my arms to circle his shoulders, one hand moving to cup his cheek. He moved his hands down to rest against my hips. “It’s not just us running from them anymore, Finn. This involves our children. John, Ava, Maya, Seb. They don’t deserve to be in this business. We have to go.”

“As much as I hate my brothers for calling you a whore, I know we need to go back,” he replied, leaning into my hand as we swayed back and forth. “I’ll drive us to New York and we’ll catch a boat out to Birmingham.” We stopped for a second as he pulled me into a kiss. When we pulled apart, he rested his forehead on mine before whispering, “You’re not telling me something. You know you can tell me anything.”

“I know I can,” I whispered back. “I just wanted to make sure before getting your hopes up.”

“Make sure of what?”

“Make sure it wasn’t a one-off thing, but I’m confident to say that I am with child. Again.”

“How long have you known?”

“Been thinking ‘bout it for three months when I missed. Then, I got sick this morning.”

“Now we’re really going,” he laughed, wrapping his arms tighter around my waist. “I’m not risking my family.”

~~

“Momma, was I named after Uncle John?”

“Yes, you were John Boy.”

“Momma, was I named after Auntie Ada?”

“No, but her name made me think of yours.”

“Momma, what is Uncle Arthur like?”

“That’s a question for your dad.”

“This is going to be a long drive.”

~~

“Has anyone seen Finn? Someone had to’ve known where he went,” Tommy asked the group in front of him. 

“They’ll be here. Just give them enough time to get here,” Ada responded with a snap. “Takes time to cross the ocean, ‘specially when you’ve got so much baggage.”

“They? Who’s they?” Arthur snapped right back at her. “What do you mean? Did he move to America?”

“Yeah, when you lot pushed him away when you called his girl a whore who was only there for the money,” Ada laughed. “Surely, you were smart enough to know he left the day after you met her.”

“Sorry we’re late,” I stated as we walked into the room. Finn holding the sleeping girls, John walking between us, and me carrying Seb. “Did we miss a lot?”

“What’s she doing here?” Artur seethed. “She is not part of this family.”

“She happens to be my wife and mother of my children, Arthur. So watch yourself.”

“Well then,” Thomas said, amused, “Let’s focus on Finn and his wife later. We’ve got work to do.”

~~~

Read Part 2 Here!!

~~~~~

© BAD268 2022. DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION.

[iam93percentstardust]

Hey happy birthday, I have a prompt of Steve being so used to ignoring his birthday cow it's always over shadowed by his countries birthday, but Tony suprises him with the perfect gift and celebration

Thank you for the birthday wishes and happy birthday to our favorite supersoldier! I've been eagerly sitting on this one for weeks so I could time it with Steve's birthday :)

~

It’s not that Steve hates his birthday. It’s not. He has very fond memories of celebrating his birthday while he was growing up, of inviting Bucky and his family over for a small dinner, of the cakes his mother would bake for him, of saving money from odd jobs for months so he and Bucky could go down to Coney Island for the day and return sunburnt and laughing. Things were a little different during the war, but the Commandos always scrounged up something for him.

It's not that he hates his birthday.

It’s that he hates what it’s turned into.

It starts in the months following the Chitauri attack on New York when the World Security Council, which has started insisting that Steve attend their meetings like he’s some sort of mascot, starts making noises about needing something to bolster spirits during the rebuilding efforts. Steve, who has long since stopped paying attention to the meetings—nothing ever happens anyway since the WSC got its hamstrings cut for voting to nuke New York—in favor of texting Tony who is rapidly becoming his closest friend in this century, thinks nothing more of it. And then Fury brings it up during a debriefing—apparently, they’d been serious—and while it’s clear that he’s thinking of maybe a couple televised interviews, Clint brings up Steve’s birthday.

“It’s in his file, yeah? He shares a birthday with our great country,” Clint points out.

And before Steve knows it, his birthday has been rolled into a celebratory gala for the Fourth of July, which Tony quickly coopts as a fundraising opportunity for the Relief Fund for victims of the battle.

That’s how it goes for five years. The parties get bigger, the fireworks get louder, and each year, Steve feels a little more invisible under the weight of the country’s celebration.

At least he doesn’t have to go alone anymore. Ever since Tony asked him out right before Christmas two years ago, he’s been Steve’s date to the gala. It’s better with Tony by his side. Steve still feels invisible to the rest of the country on his birthday, but he’s never invisible to Tony, who’s attentive at all times, but especially on his birthday.

“What kind of cake do you want this year?” Clint asks at breakfast about a week before the gala. He’s wound up planning the thing ever since the first year since it was initially his idea. He’s actually surprisingly good at event planning, turning his sniper’s focus from the battlefield to the ballroom.

“Putting it off kinda late, aren’t you, birdbrain?” Tony comments idly, sipping on a cup of coffee as he looks through the news on his tablet.

Clint waves an airy hand. “We worked out a design ages ago—don’t worry, Cap, it’ll be red, white, and blue, of course,” he adds with a cheeky wink. Steve tries not to flinch. “All we need is the flavor.”

Steve bites back a sigh and says, “Chocolate’s fine.” It’s not fine. There’s this incredible lavender flavor that he tried at a cupcakery he and Tony went to a few weeks ago that he would have loved to have for his cake, but he learned his lesson about unusual flavors after the disaster that was the maple and blueberry cake four years ago.

“Again?” Clint asks. “Come on, Steve-o. Try something different for once!”

“I like chocolate,” he replies, trying to sound enthusiastic and not defensive. Besides, chocolate’s inoffensive, and most of the guests will like it, even if he couldn’t care one way or the other.

Tony is being strangely quiet, and when Steve glances over at him, it’s to see him watching him through thoughtfully narrowed eyes. His fingers are tapping out a pattern Steve can’t pick up on against the table.

“What?” Steve asks, shoulders hunching.

Tony shakes his head. “Nothing.”

~

He might have forgotten about that conversation except that Tony keeps giving him those odd thoughtful looks over the next few weeks. It mostly seems to appear whenever Clint mentions something about the gala, particularly whenever he asks Steve for his opinion on some decision or another. He can’t figure out what it is, exactly, that has Tony so intrigued (he’d like to think that it’s Tony realizing how much Steve hates the birthday galas, but since it doesn’t seem like the preparations are slowing down at all, he figures that that can’t be it).

And then, the day before his birthday, Tony bursts into a mid-afternoon meeting Steve has with Fury, Maria, and Nat. He snags Steve by the arm, pulling him up out of his seat, and says blithely, “I’m kidnapping Captain America. Sorry, but you know how it is. If you have any complaints, you can leave them with my office. I’m available between two and three in the afternoon on every other Tuesday. Bye!”

No one seems very surprised by this turn of events, so Steve lets Tony pull him out of the room. They get all the way to the waiting car outside before Steve asks, “Wait, where are we going?”

Tony gives him a sardonic look. “I told you, I’m kidnapping you. You don’t get to know where we’re going. Now put this on.”

He hands Steve a blindfold. Steve laughs bemusedly and informs him, “I don’t think I’m supposed to be the one putting the blindfold on myself.”

“If you’d like, I can have Happy do it,” Tony says sweetly. Happy, standing by the open door, grins.

Steve puts the blindfold on.

It’s not hard to figure out where they’re going, even with the blindfold on. He’s always had an excellent spatial memory and that was before the serum enhanced everything about him.

“You know we have to be back in time for the gala tomorrow,” he says once he realizes they’re headed for the airport.

Tony sounds very dismissive and not at all concerned when he replies, “Yes, yes, it’s all worked out. Now would you relax? I’d hate to have to drug you.”

“You wouldn’t do that,” Steve says, feigning a confidence he doesn’t feel. He doesn’t think Tony would hurt him, but Tony is the type of person who hates to have his plans spoiled, and he might actually go ahead and drug Steve to get him to stop worrying about things.

Sure enough, when Steve can’t stop thinking about the gala and starts to say, “Okay, but—” the next thing he feels is a pinprick in his neck.

~

When he next wakes, it’s to the lack of any road noise, which tells him they’ve already boarded the plane to whatever exotic destination Tony has in mind. The next thing he realizes is that the blindfold has been removed, he’s lying on a bed instead of sitting in a seat, and there’s a metal pole running from floor to ceiling off to one side, which tells him that they’re not just on a plane, they’re on Tony’s plane.

He groans, thumping his head back against the bed.

“I hope that doesn’t mean you have a headache,” he hears Tony say and twists to his other side to see Tony sitting next to him, back braced against the headboard. “Bruce and I were pretty sure the dosage was low enough you wouldn’t have any of the side effects, but then you slept longer than either of us were expecting so.”

“The gala—” he begins.

“Fuck the gala,” Tony snarls. Steve stops, surprised by Tony’s vehemence. He’d always thought Tony—if not enjoyed them per se, then didn’t mind them. Tony takes a deep breath and purses his lips. “You hate the gala.”

“I don’t—”

“Steve.”

He stops again.

“You hate the gala,” Tony repeats. “And you hate the fireworks, and you hate that it’s all about America while you’re an invisible figurehead. And I missed it, which is what I hate.”

“It’s not—” Steve begins weakly only for Tony to throw a quelling glare his way. “Okay, fine. I want a quiet celebration with the people I care about, not all of this.”

“So that’s what I’m giving you,” Tony says. “An entire day just for you at a secluded location that no one knows about.”

“But what about Clint?”

Tony shrugs. “He’ll make do. I already told everyone I was kidnapping you. I told them right after the cake thing.” He gives Steve a curious look. “You were more interested in the lavender cake than chocolate, right?”

Steve can’t bite back his chuckle. “Nothing gets past you, huh.”

“Good. That’s what I got for you.” Tony looks very self-satisfied with himself, and Steve wants very badly to kiss him, but whatever Tony gave him still lingers in his system, enough to make him not want to sit up, so he leans over and kisses the curve of his hip instead.

Tony smiles at him and cards his fingers through Steve’s hair. It’s soothing and lovely, and Steve lies back, contentedly closing his eyes. Tony noticed. He wasn’t forgotten about this year. Tony saw him, and Tony planned something else far away from New York and the gala.

“Where are we going?” he asks after a minute.

“It’s a surprise,” Tony says immediately. He should have expected that.

“You know I can probably guess based on how long we’re in the air, right?”

“You forget you’ve been asleep for a few hours.”

He had forgotten that. “And what about when the pilot announces the descent?”

Something lands on his face, startling him. He opens his eyes again to see a pack of earplugs on top of his nose. It’s just so ridiculous that he laughs, burying his face in Tony’s hip.

“You might as well sleep, darling,” Tony murmurs, petting his hair again. “It’s a long flight.”

~

Steve wakes up again just before the plane lands, though Tony quickly blindfolds him before he can look out a window to gain some sense of where they are. If the pilot announces where they are, then he misses that too because Tony climbs into his lap and kisses him until he forgets how disorienting it is to be in a descending plane while blindfolded.

He gains more of a clue when they’re out on the tarmac as Tony guides him to a waiting car: the scent of grapes. It narrows down the choices considerably, but he keeps his mouth shut. Tony clearly went to a lot of trouble to keep all of this a surprise. He doesn’t want to ruin that for him.

They drive for what his internal clock tells him is close to an hour before they turn onto a gravel driveway and slow to a stop. He hears Tony get out of the car and come around the other side to let Steve out, threading his fingers through Steve’s.

“Alright,” Tony says, sounding oddly nervous. “Here we are—oh! Forgot about the—”

He reaches up and pulls the blindfold off in one quick motion, revealing a beautiful villa. The house is built from a welcoming, warm brown stone, balconies dotting the upper floors. Behind the house stretches miles and miles of fields, plants swaying in the light breeze. There’s a hand-painted mailbox next to the car, welcoming them to the Villa Carbonell.

“Carbonell,” he murmurs. “This was your mother’s?”

“My grandparents’ actually,” Tony says, free hand jammed deep in his pocket. “They planned to leave it to my mom, but then she passed away, so they left it to me instead.” He gives Steve a sidelong look. “It was never hooked up with phones, and I left everything but our Avengers comms on the plane. The fridge is fully stocked, the villa recently aired out. We’re here for three days.”

Three days.

Three days of having Tony all to himself, no business meetings, no interruptions, no three-hour phone calls. The only thing they’ll have to worry about is an Assemble, and if he knows Tony, he’ll have likely arranged for one of the other teams to be called out before they try to contact the two of them, so they’ll only be called in the event of a world-ending emergency.

It sounds perfect.

“Good birthday present?” Tony asks, and now the nervousness makes sense. This is a piece of Tony’s past, something that he’s possibly never shared with anyone. Of course his Tony would be nervous.

Steve turns and swoops him up into his arms, swinging him around. “It’s the best,” he enthuses and kisses him.

[by-soleil]

i like me better

Pairing: Lee Dokyeom x Female Reader

Word Count: 1.5K

Genre: fluff, oh sooo much fluff

Warning: kissing, mention of alcohol consumption, perfect boyfriend dokyeom (like so damn perfect AHH)

This fic was inspired by "I Like Me Better - Lauv"

A Dokyeom birthday special<3

•••

“How about we just pack up and leave? What do you say?” Dokyeom blurts out when you finally seated in his passenger seat. Picking you up after your shift at the local diner has finished, have become quite the ritual. You can see the twinkle in his eyes as he propose the crazy idea.

“What?” you blurt out, never been this confused. Agreeing to be in a relationship with Dokyeom should come with a long list of cautions. You could never guess what’s going on inside that pretty head of his despite dating him for over a year now.

“You and me, us, pack up our whole life here and just bolt out. I'm thinking New York?” he elaborates, raising his eyebrows repeatedly, tempting you. Taking both your hands in his and shower it with little kisses. “Come on, babe! There’s nothing in this sad little town that could possibly holding you back.” he keeps murmuring between kisses.

I guess he’s right. You silently thought to yourself, his crazy proposal doesn’t seem that crazy the longer his lips brushes against you knuckles.

Ever since the both of you graduated from college, you’ve been stuck in this very town. Waiting tables just to make ends due. Jumped at the first offer to moved out of your sad little apartment when Dokyeom suggest to just move in with him. Wondering at times what the hell does your boyfriend do for a living beside composing songs.

“Babe, you know I can’t afford it. I'm barely paying my rent here, have you seen how crazy New York rent is? Besides, I still got months before the publishing house starts paying the interns.” you offer him a sour smile. Smoothing his just-got-outta-bed hair. Seriously, what the hell does he do for work? Those songs certainly couldn’t pay the crazy high New York rent.

Whining loudly, Dokyeom continues with a pout. “We’ll figure it out. I’ll handle the rent for a while. You can apply to a bigger publishing house in the city. I can do a lot more stuff too. More opportunities babe!” he pauses, a huge grin plastered on his face—the one that you always fall for—as he study your slowly agreeing face.

“I don’t think you're good for me.” you smile at him with your eyes squinting together.

“Shut up, you like yourself better when you're with me.” Dokyeom laughs, pulling you close to kiss your temple. “Now, get your pretty ass inside and give them your two-weeks notice. We have our whole life to pack.”

•••

The next few weeks is nothing but a chaotic mess. But somehow, Dokyeom manages to make everything fun. Singing his little songs as he pack what seemed to be a never ending pile of clothes.

If there’s one thing about you, is that you’re very sceptic about life and a bit short tempered too. But after meeting Dokyeom, it seems like you’ve had fallen into this sweet world filled with sunshine and fucking rainbow.

I guess it is true, you like yourself better when you’re with him. With Dokyeom.

“This is it, we’re home babe.” Dokyeom kisses the top of your head as he drops his duffle bag to the hardwood flooring that is now your home.

“Oh, to be young and in love in New York city.” you cheerfully say as you dance around in your new living room.

Dokyeom smiles, the very smile that made you fall in love with him. The smile that makes you say yes to his dinner invite back then.

You shriek happily when you feel Dokyeom’s thick arms wrapped around your waist, pulling your back to his chest. Kissing your temple repeatedly as he laughs.

“Told you this was a good idea. You gotta give my impulsivity some credit, babe.”

You turn around, snake your hand up around his neck. “What are you doing to me? I literally don’t have any job, I feel like I don’t know who I am. But one thing I know that I’m good long as you’re here with me.” you stand on your tippy toes, planting a kiss so sweet you think you might melt in his arms. “Cause fucking look at me, I’m here in New York.” you continue, throwing your hands up to accentuate how crazy you feel about the whole situation.

Dokyeom throws his head back laughing, “Me too, babe, me too. Everything’s better when I’m with you.”

The rest of the evening spent unpacking boxes upon boxes. For someone who never had anything more than a grand in their bank account, you sure does have a lot of stuff.

“Okay, that’s it. I can’t hear the sound of tape getting ripped off of cardboard anymore. Can we please stop?” he dramatically pleas. Getting on both knees with hands rubbing together. Making you roll your eyes. Dokyeom and the word ‘dramatic’ seemed to have always find their way together.

“Let’s get drunk. I bet the beers all chilled now.” he stands up immediately knowing you’re down with the idea, given it was you who get the 6-packs on the last gas station.

“I want takis.” you semi drunkenly whine after finishing a can and a half of beer.

Dokyeom, being the amazing boyfriend he is, immediately stands up and beelining for the kitchen. “Didn’t we have some? I’m pretty sure I saw them little purple devils through the plastic bags.”

“Nope, ate ‘em all.” you shake you head, flashing your boyfriend puppy eyes. “Can we go get some, it’s New York, they must’ve still sell them this late.” you say glancing at the clock that shows 02:18.

“Hell, yeah! It’s the city that never sleeps babe. C’mon, let’s go on an adventure.” he excitedly say, pulling your hand to help you stand up.

And that’s how your first night went. Drunk and in love in New York city.

•••

When you wake up, you’re all tangled up in bed sheets. Your cheek pressed against Dokyeom’s chest, feeling the peaceful rhythm of his breath.

You don’t know what it is but you got this feeling. Waking up next to him, you could’ve sworn the room feels like it got no ceiling.

“Can we just lay here and let the day pass by? I don’t wanna move.” Dokyeom suddenly say, making you jolt after feeling the vibration from his chest.

“You weren’t asleep?” you panic, praying your boyfriend didn’t hear all the cheesy happy songs you’ve been humming all morning.

He laughs, sending horror down your spine, “If you’re asking wether or not I enjoy your little songs? The answer is yes. Very charming. You should feature in some of my songs.” he casually say making you twist into a ball next to him.

“Where are you going?” his hand reaches out and pull you back into his embrace. “We haven’t done this in a looooooong time, you were always so busy.” he dramatically whine as he tightens his arms. Borderline suffocating you with affection.

He then proceed to tell you about his detailed plans for the future, why he chose this neighborhood for the two of you to live in and a lot more interesting stuff.

The more Dokyeom talks about the future, the more butterfly seeped inside your stomach and dance around. Making you blush over and over again, still amazed how you manage to have this too-good of a man in your life.

When the sun is about to set, Dokyeom finally gave up on his ‘lay here with me’ agenda and let you out of his grasp to whip something quick to eat.

Being the affectionate man that he is, Dokyeom snakes his arms around your waist from behind and shower you with more kisses as you stand in front of the stove. A bit of a fire hazard actually given your jumpy reaction.

“Boy if you don’t stop.” you playfully smack his thigh, telling him to let go.

“You know, funny story. You might not see it at first, but I’ve known it from the first time you made me laugh that I’d stay for a long time.” he whispers, still caging you from behind.

Thanking the Goddess above he couldn’t see how your face firing up with his words, you nudge his sides. “I swear, I’d burn your eggs and sausage if you don’t stop.” another failed attempt to get him off you back, literally.

“Cause I like me a whole lot better when I’m with you.”

You don’t know what’s hotter, the pan you're using to fry the eggs and sausages or your face. With smile that seemed to be glued to your face these past few days, you give him an answer that sends both you hearts flying, “Me too, Dokyeom, I like me better when I’m with you.”

•••

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[scarlvtbitch]

Gold Rush

Sebastian Stan x Female Reader

Summary: Reader is Sebastian’s best friend, but she’s in love with him. Unrequited love with lots of angst.

A/N: This is a multi chapter fic, stay tuned for the rest of the chapters.

July 14,2019

They say the worst kind of heartbreak is when your loved ones die, but I think

 that's false. It's when the person you're in love with doesn't love you back. I was currently facing the person in question, my best friend, a.k.a Sebastian freaking Stan. How the hell did I end up in this situation? I always said I would not let a man ruin me. I always preached how I would never be one of those girls who cried over a man. If someone didn't treat me right I would kick their asses, simple. Now here I was, being one of those girls. I didn't want to ever feel like this. People describe falling in love like it's the best thing to happen to them, and they only say that because their feelings are returned. Here I was, fucking miserable. Hiding my misery behind my fake smile. If there was one thing I knew how to do best, it's hiding my feelings.

I met Sebastian ten years ago. We were both invited to our mutual friend's birthday party. We were both introduced to each other as shy introverts, and as soon as our friend mentioned that quality about him, something deep inside me knew we would become good friends. And that's what happened. After that day we started talking and getting to know each other. Our friendship consisted of watching movies, helping him rehearse his scenes, going to new places and comforting the other when we got our hearts broken.

So much has happened in the last decade. We both developed and grew as people. My best friend had gotten very known over the last ten years. He had joined the Marvel team as Bucky Barnes, also known as The Winter Soldier. That was the reason he invited me over today, to help him with his lines for the new show "The Falcon and the Winter Soldier."

"Y/N!" His fingers snapped near my face, bringing me back to real life and popping the bubble I was in. I looked around and studied my surroundings. Rain droplets accumulated in the window of his New York apartment. It was dark and gloomy outside, darkening the inside of his apartment as time went by. I was able to see his beautiful features thanks to the glow of the lamp in the end table. We were sitting side by side on his big brown couch.

"Sorry, what?"

"I'm waiting for you to say Sam's line."

"Oh. Sorry."

"Are you okay?" No. I wanted to tell him that I was not okay. I was not going to be okay for a while. But I sucked it up just like I had to do every day.

"Yeah. My mind just goes other places sometimes. You know how I am."

"Wanna talk about it?" He put down his script and reached for my hand which was fidgeting with my shirt. I hadn't noticed it doing that until he enveloped it in his. 

"It's nothing. Promise." I never lied to him. But this had to be the exception. "Let's just continue with the script, yeah? Filming starts soon and we can't have you fucking up."

"You know I never fuck up." I gave him a questioning look and raised my right eyebrow. "Almost never."

"Are you ready for Comic Con? It's only five days away!" I tried changing the topic.

"Yeah. I actually wanted to talk to you about that. Will you come with me? You know how interviews make me. Sometimes I get nervous and they make me uncomfortable. Having you there will help me."

"I thought Mackie helped you with that."

"He does but with you it's different." My heart did all sorts of flips when he said that. Though he couldn't have meant it in that way. He looked at me with those damned big puppy blue eyes that made it impossible to say no.

"Alright."

"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" He chanted before crushing my body with his in a tight hug. It felt so good to have his arms around me. Just like your average cliché, they felt like home. He was home. My nose was grazing his neck, and I was able to smell his cologne. God, smelling his cologne was always literally torture. "I already bought your plane ticket."

"Really Stan? What if I hadn't agreed?"

"I know you love me too much to say no." I know he meant as in friends, but my heart ached because his words were just salt to my wound.

"You're a bad influence." I rolled my eyes but seeing his smirk made me genuinely laugh for the first time that evening. I was feeling lighter but I still felt tired. "I gotta go home. Bucky's waiting for me.”

"Seven years and I still can't believe you named your dog after my character."

"Jealous I didn't name him Sebastian?" I teased back, mentally cheering myself because even though I felt like shit, my flame was still strong.

"Frankly I'm a little hurt. If I had a girl dog I would name her Doll. Which is your nickname by the way."

"I know it's my nickname." I said annoyingly. "But I want to be the only doll in your life." Okay that definitely came out wrong. Oh god. Jesus fuck will he suspect anything?

He inched forward, invading my space. I felt like the room was getting smaller and smaller. I couldn't breathe.

"Don't worry, you're the only Doll for me." He whispered. I needed to get the fuck out of here.

"You're hilarious." I got up from the couch and walked towards the kitchen counter to get my purse. "Text me the details for the day we leave. See you soon. Bye Stan."

"Goodb-" I opened and closed the door behind me before he could finish his sentence. I couldn't keep falling in this never ending dark pit. I needed to get my shit together now.