#our King of Hyrule turned into a kokiri

[veiledbyart]

My players also gave me some doodle suggestions to draw a bunch of my NPCs from our LoZ Campaign as different races.

It was very fun to do, though you can definitely see which ones I struggled with lol

Don’t use or repost my art without permission.

[gust-jar-simulator]

Half of what makes Ganondorf so compelling for me is the mythic impact of him. He’s The Guy. The red to the blue and green. The Din to the Nayru and Farore. The man, the myth, the legend. I genuinely love the way the LOZ series is set up, so a character can have so much type because you know who this is even if you don’t know who he is in the context of a new story. I’d prefer if it wasn’t totally relied on, but hey. He’s the Demon King.

With that in mind, since I really want to write Vaati as an actual threat as opposed to an extremely angry rat (it’s tempting though), I might as well take notes. Vaati isn’t Ganondorf, and I don’t want him to be, but he is a legendary enemy. It’s difficult because it’s hard to see his overarching impact- Ganondorf has a presence even outside of his own actual actions, due to the presence of his culture and impact on history.

Vaati doesn’t have that. The Minish are in one game, and the other children of the forest are either fairies or kokiri/koroks, which have different associations in the fandom consciousness. Wind magic is almost never used. Even if I stretch it to say music is a type of wind magic, off the top of my head that leaves us mostly with Wind Waker and Cadence of Hyrule. It’s difficult to give Vaati a presence because he has no impact outside of his own games, and in his own games he’s kind of got Saturday morning cartoon villain motives.

So the final way I can think of to make him intimidating is to work on his motives and methods, and I can definitely do that, but. C’mon. He’s an ancient demon. He came from a race that can only be seen by the pure of heart and turned himself into a dark god, that’s cool as hell. He’s even a recurring villain. How do I give him some weight, some terror, some oh shit impact?

Anytime I see him in a fanfic, I’m delighted by his presence, but he’s rarely actually intimidating in the same way Ganondorf effortlessly exudes. Maybe because Vaati has this… desperation, this need to be a god, that’s harder to take seriously compared to Ganondorf’s more methodical destruction. Vaati needs you to take him seriously, while Ganondorf doesn’t care if you do.

I’ve been working on puzzling it out, and I think I have the start of a detail to tease out- Vaati comes from a culture where kindness is innate. Cruelty is literally a foreign, alien concept to the Minish, from what I can gather, and he was learning magic in an academic context, so I could easily see him wanting to make a study of the concept. He chose cruelty, for one reason or another- maybe he hated the “servile” position of his people, maybe he wanted to see what happens if you use cruelty as a magic base instead of kindness, maybe he started researching things he shouldn’t and when he got negative feedback he lashed out because you don’t understand, I’m learning, isn’t that what’s important here? Why don’t you support me? I thought our whole wretched culture is about that.

Something about “nobody leaves home unless home is the mouth of a shark”. He’s the wind, I think the thing most likely to set him off is limitations. He’s an eye, endlessly observing, studying, watching, learning. He’s a bat, a crosser of boundaries. Of course you have to seal him with the four elements. If it was just one, steel and stone, he’d figure a way out. Of course you have to seal him with the primordial forces of nature. He’s a child of nature, in the end.

I think if I want to make him terrifying, I need to give him a simpler, more elegant motive than “rule Hyrule as a god, an angry god”. The major motivations of people are: money, power, fame, sex, and the desire to be great. Vaati might kidnap maidens and call himself a god, but I think those are expressions of a need to be great, not motives on their own. He wants power because he wants to break his limits, all limits, wants to become something more, and that is rooted in a small child’s memory where he was told by his teacher that there are some things one Shouldn’t Do. If he hates limits, the simplest solution I have for why he hates Ezlo so deeply is because the man tried to limit him. Whether it was through implying people don’t love a monster, or just saying that he’s a Minish and he shouldn’t study cruelty because of his species, or something else.

He’s conscious of his own cruelty in a way a lot of villains aren’t. Even a few incarnations of Ganondorf are doing what he does for his people, because Hyrule is an active threat and he wanted his people to live. Vaati doesn’t give a shit about good intentions, he doesn’t need them or want them. He just won’t be limited by anything ever again, mentors or mortality.

Too bad for him the Four Sword exists. I wonder how furious that makes him.

[karama9]

Tears of the Kingdom Countdown, 12 Days Remain

Ficlet #4: Becoming Yourself

Set between Ocarina of Time and Wind Waker. The Flood is coming, and it's time for the new Sage of the Forest to awaken.

Ficlet 4: Becoming Yourself 

It was the middle of the night, yet the Great Deku Tree was awake. With the war raging outside the forest, looming ever closer, peaceful sleep seemed to be a thing of the past. There hadn’t been such darkness in Hyrule since he had been but a Sprout, and back then, Link had saved them all. There was no Link anymore. His child was lost to him forever, and perhaps more importantly for the rest of the Kingdom, there was no one to save Hyrule. 

He therefore heard the hurried footsteps and the panting, along with a fairy’s voice urging its kokiri partner to calm down and go back to bed. 

He recognized the voice: Pip. Fado’s fairy.  

The Forest Spirit known as the Great Deku Tree rustled. Perhaps there was hope after all. 

*** 

Fado stopped in front of the Great Deku Tree, bent in two, gulping air into a burning chest. Pip flittered about, tutting. Fado’s pigtails were limp, wet with sweat. 

“Hello, Fado.” 

Fado looked up. “He… hello gr… Great De… Deku Tree.” 

“Fado won’t go back to bed!” Pip complained. 

Fado swallowed. “I had a dream.” Another gulp of air. “The Woods were burning!” 

The Great Deku Tree hummed. “The smell of smoke has been getting stronger, hasn’t it?” 

“And… and then there was water,” Fado said.  

Fado’s arms wrapped around the Kokiri’s torso in a hug. “Lots and lots of water. We… everyone drowned.” 

Fado suddenly broke down in sobs. “I don’t want everyone to drown!”  

Pip bumped affectionately against her charge’s face. “It was just a dream, Fado!” the fairy said gently.  

“I’m afraid not,” the Great Deku Tree said. 

Both Kokiri and fairy gasped, staring at him. 

“This was no ordinary dream,” the Great Deku Tree continued. “I would know… I’ve had the same one the last time I slept.” 

Fado’s eyes were wide. “But… the woods! They can’t… they can’t burn! And everyone…! Great Deku Tree, NO!” 

The kokiri’s voice had risen on every word until the last no was a screech. It was followed by renewed sobs, this time frantic and angry. 

“Go get your brothers and sisters,” the Tree said. “Pip, help. It’s time I tell all of you what happens next.” 

*** 

It wasn’t long before the Great Deku Tree’s clearing was filled with all his children, the Kokiri and their guardian fairies.  

“My dear children,” the Great Deku Tree said. “It is time to prepare for a change. Fado and I have both been visited by the same vision.” 

There was a mutter of “Fado the weirdo” from somewhere in the back. Fado turned towards it, scowling, then huffed and turned back towards the Great Deku Tree, nose uplifted in obvious disdain of the speaker, whoever it was. 

The Great Deku Tree let it pass.  

“You’ve probably all noticed the smoke just outside our woods,” he continued. “There is war in Hyrule. Ganondorf is back, and intent on destroying everything to rule over the ruins of the Kingdom.” 

The announcement was greeted by head tilts and confused faces. The Kokiris had no memory of previous war against Ganondorf Dragmire. Most of them had been alive at the time, but one of the corollaries of Kokiris never growing up was that they could not accumulate wisdom. Their long term memory was therefore very limited. As broken hearted as he had been to lose Saria, Mido had completely forgotten her a mere decade later, and none of the other remembered that time any better. That had been very long ago, it may as well have happened on another planet as far as the Kokiri were concerned. 

“Suffice it to say that he is an Evil King, someone to be feared. We saw fire engulfing the woods… this part is unfortunately easy to interpret. The fires of war will reach us and the Lost Woods. We are in danger.” 

There were gasps, and whimpers. The Great Deku Tree forced himself to ignore them and continue. He could not save them if he was too busy comforting them. Let them be afraid – they had every right to be. 

“In our vision, the fire is followed by water… water enough to drown the entire world. I’ve thought long and hard about this, and I have concluded that divine intervention is at play here. There will be no other way to stop Ganondorf, and therefore the Gods will flood Hyrule along with him.” 

Pandemonium followed. 

*** 

It was some time before everyone was calmed enough for the Great Deku Tree to explain what happened next. And once he had, once he had told everyone that their home and himself would rise above the waves, and that he would change them to ensure they could survive in a World covered in water with very little forest to sustain them, Fado raised a hand. 

“Great Deku Tree?” 

“Yes, Fado?” 

“What about the Lost Woods? You said you were going to save our homes, and right here, but what about all the Lost woods?” 

“I cannot save them,” the Great Deku Tree admitted. “The Lost Woods will be lost. Nothing we can do can change that.” 

Fado’s fists clenched. “That’s not RIGHT.” 

“No,” the Tree agreed. “It’s not.” 

“We don’t remember stuff,” Fado added. “Not for long. We never do. None of us can remember anything from more than several summers ago. And when we don’t remember them anymore, nobody will!” 

The Great Deku Tree admitted that this was indeed the case. 

“NO,” Fado said. “NO! That’s not RIGHT! What about their magic? Wait. Don’t you need their magic?” 

The Great Deku Tree sighed. Thankfully, the kokiri were not in the habit of paying attention to Fado and were chatting amongst themselves.  

“I do,” the Tree admitted in a soft voice. “That is the other reason for changing you into Koroks… I will live long enough to ensure you can survive without me, but without the Lost Woods, I will eventually fade away. It won’t be for a long time, but it will happen.” 

“No,” Fado said. “NO, NO, NO! That’s… that is NOT RIGHT!” 

The Great Deku Tree wasn’t sure what to answer, how to comfort his child, until the medallion appeared in front of Fado. Fado was shocked still by it, and the glow attracted the attention of the others. 

The medallion glowed brighter and brighter until it shot right at Fado and vanished, seemingly merging with the new Sage. 

Fado’s eyes were wide, but the Kokiri’s anger and despair were gone.  

“Fado?” Pip asked. “Are… are you okay?” 

Fado nodded slowly then turned back to the Great Deku Tree. “I can save the magic, and the memory.” 

The Great Deku Tree sighed. “Yes, but…” 

“I need to stay behind.” 

“Yes.” 

Fado nodded firmly. “I need to prepare.” 

And then simply vanished, presumably reappearing inside the Forest Temple. 

The Great Deku Tree closed his eyes and allowed himself a moment to grieve. Another child lost to him, given to the Greater Good of Hyrule. 

*** 

Fado reappeared the following night. The kokiris were asleep, still kokiris for one last night. The smell of smoke was getting overpowering, and the orange glow of flames could be seen wherever the trees thinned. The end of the World was coming in the form of flames that would eventually be drowned in water along with Hyrule itself. 

The Great Deku Tree’s eyes widened. “You’ve changed your appearance.” 

Fado’s pigtails and dress were gone. In their place, the new Sage of the Forest had a new short haircut and a short tunic paired with pants. 

He nodded. “You heard them last night calling me Fado the weirdo, right?” 

“Yes.” 

“That’s because I don’t play much. I’m always in the Woods or doing something or other by myself, and I say weird stuff. I didn’t want to be even weirder by telling them I wasn’t a girl. I’m not even sure why I care. But… now…” 

The Great Deku Tree said nothing. The smell of smoke was growing rapidly. 

“The edge of the Woods are burning,” Fado announced. “The wind is turning foul.” 

“Then it’s time,” The Great Deku Tree said with a sigh. “Are you ready?” 

Fado nodded.  

“I have a present for you,” the tree said. “You played it for a while, although I imagine you’ve forgotten. Maybe you’ll want to learn again.” 

A branch moved, and a violin appeared. Fado grinned and picked it up. “I would. I will. Thank you!”  

“Fado… you do realize what will happen for you, don’t you?” 

Fado grew somber again and nodded. “It’ll be just Pip and me,” he said. “Forever, basically. But I get to remember the Woods. I get to remember everyone. I do remember my violin, you know. I remember Ganondorf, too. Everything’s been coming back to me. I remember Saria. I remember Link. And I’ll remember the Lost Woods, and I’ll keep their magic going. Pip and I will be fine.” He smiled, and started playing his violin. The tunes came back to his mind easily, and he played his favourite: a happy song that spoke of the forest and the wind and how they were one. 

“My dear Fado…” the Great Deku Tree said. “I am so very proud of you. My children do not grow up because I made them that way, but you did it in the best possible way. You’ve become yourself, Fado, and your self is nothing short of a miracle. Until we meet again, take care my son. Breathe… it’s time to go.” 

Fado took a deep breath and nodded. Behind the smell of smoke was a smell of water and salt. The flood that would bury Hyrule to deny it to Ganondorf was upon them. He put a hand against the Great Deku Tree. 

“Goodbye, Father. Take care of you, of them.” 

And with that, he vanished. 

The Great Deku Tree closed his eyes and started working his magic, guiding roots to push the Kokiri forest and himself up, up above the coming waves, up to a new World, and at the same time, joining each two halves of his remaining children, fairies and Kokiris together into Koroks, new beings that would be able to hide from any danger and to fly to distant shores. 

And in his Temple, sealed against the outside world, Fado set to work as well, saving the magic of the Lost Woods and their memory to be an everlasting whisper in the wind. 

[mrneighbourlove]

The War of Fire: Ch 7. Stink and Filth to the Light

Zelda took a deep breath, her fist shaking at the sight of the empty cell. She was so distracted by the rescue of her daughter and the front lines that she had allowed her castle to be compromised. Again. The Princess couldn’t have escaped on her own. Turning to Impa, she spoke carefully, not wanting her voice to shake. “Impa. I want ever single entrance into the castle covered and observation by the Sheikah tribe. Every sewer entrance, gate, or window. If I can’t feel secure in my own home again than this war is already lost.”

Impa nodded, brushing her hair back to calm her nerves. The war was starting to be drawn out, and with so many failures already under Hyrule’s belt, it didn’t bold well in the Sheikah’s mind. “As you wish my queen.”

The Queen of Hyrule walked with her most trusted advisor and friend back to the war council several floors above them. When the Queen opened the doors open, the environment was somber and heavy. Generals and Commanders of various tribes loyal to Hyrule were relaying casualty reports all around the country. With Zelda having arrived, they turned their attention to her. “Report. How far have the Hasai entrenched themselves?”

“They have as of yet to find a way to reach the peaks of the Rito village your majesty. However, they’ve started a blockade and positioned archers outside. As of now, only our most skilled fliers and breach their line of attack to travel elsewhere.”

“As for us Gorons, the Hasai seem to be more than comfortable with a slow push upwards Death Mountain. We’re an effective wall my Queen, but our chief fears that if we spare too many of our brothers the Hasai could muster the strength to conquer us.”

Zelda held her hands together as she contemplated what to do regarding both tribes. “My heart goes out to the Rito and Goron people, but for now, it sounds to me that the Hasai aren’t actively massacring your people as of yet. Knight Tulilad. Have you located my husband as of yet?”

The man shook his head, fresh ash on his face. “No, my Queen. Our search brought my platoon into contact with a full Hasai army marching eastward.”

“East. That could be in the direction of either Zora’s Domain or Kakariko Village. Impa, has there been any news of fighting drawing near the village?”

“None as of yet. We are still a hidden village.”

“Then my prediction is that the Hasai will march for Zora’s Domain.” The War Council didn’t object, listening closer in on Zelda. “The Zora provide a vast amount of support and economy to the rest of Hyrule. The domain would also make a perfect dug in fortification for the Kikai Empire if they were to conquer it.”

The Zora representatives looked amongst one another. “They would have cross Lanayru wetlands and valley to reach the domain. Following this they’d have to make their way across the great bridges to reach the city. If they have the ability, they might take up a presence in the mountain areas around the Domain.” One of the Zora frowned suddenly. “Oh dear.”

“What is it?”

“There is also the consideration of the dam. If Lanyaru’s Great Spring were to be properly disrupted, then flooding would occur from every lake and river in Hyrule.”

Zelda contemplated her options, before looking to Klinge of all people. “Commander. I want you to take a garrison of Ganondorf’s forces and place them at the valley entrance in the wetlands. “After that, take what beasts, traps, and soldiers you can muster and place them at various staging areas in the Domain. I want our flanks covered.”

Klinge took a map and drew circles around key areas. He’d rather take orders from Ganondorf, but alas, Zelda was still his queen. “I can set up Beamos sentries along the valley to the domain. That will not only alert us if the Hasai choose to attack, but also slow them down.”

“Everyone… war is cruel thing. It tears at our spirits and tries to drag us down with claws of despair. But we must have hope. By standing together, we will overcome this invasion. May the spirits watch over us.” Zelda had never been overly religious in her life, despite possessing the triforce, but for the sake of her people she’d take any support she could take.

As others started to disperse, Klinge approached Impa. Both the warriors stood six feet away from each other, as if a wall of respect or disdain kept them apart. “Impa, I trust that you will keep Zelda’s security a top priority?”

“I always do. Why are you asking me this?”

“I won’t cut down the severity of the situation to you. Ganondorf could very well be dead. I failed him in that regard.” The words hung out of Klinge, making the atmosphere incredibly heavy. “Rinku failed in protecting her younger sibling from our now missing captive. What I’m trying to say is… we can’t have you fail miraculously either. Zelda is the sole face of the kingdom for now. You are her greatest protector.”

With only her eyes visible to the outside world, Impa revealed shock and genuine surprise to the undead warrior. “I didn’t expect you of all people to be so open.”

“Out of all of Ganondorf’s forces that follow him, I’m the one that you should always expect to be the most forward with you. I must ask, with all of us staying far from the castle, who will guard the children?”

“I’m going to have Sheikah agents take the younglings far from the castle and to the domain of the Great Deku Tree. They will stay safe there, hidden from the eyes of the outside world with the Korok, Kokiri and Fairies.”

“After the failure of security at the castle, I feel more at ease with this course of planning. Good luck to you.”

“In my experience, there is no thing as luck Klinge. But may your skills keep you alive.” As Klinge started to walk away, Impa added one more thought. “I do hope that Ganondorf is still alive. Despite certain aspects about the man I cannot stand, he does inspire confidence and hope in the people as king.”

“Coming from you Impa, that means something to me. I’ll see you on the field of battle.”

As Klinge left, Impa made her way to Zelda. The Queen had made her way to the nursery, calmly explaining to her children about them needing to be moved. “Think of it as a little vacation away from all the fighting. The area is very peaceful.”

Covarog took charge of nearly all the questions for his siblings. “Why can’t you stay with us momma?”

“Mother has things people to that depend on her. But I assure you, I will check on you when I can. And when the bad people are all gone, we can go back to normalcy.”

“Where’s papa momma?”

That pulled onto her heart strings, knowing that she didn’t have an answer even she wanted. “We’re still looking for him. But knowing how mighty and powerful your papa is, I’m sure he’s just waiting to make a valiant return.”

Orana held her hand up, waiting her turn. “Will big sisters be joining us?”

Zelda had to process a moment her questions before reality hit her hard. Rinku AND Leere. God knew where her gothic child was out in the chaos of Hyrule right now. The Queen had been so concentrated on the current moment that she hadn’t even considered Leere was in danger. Quickly hiding her feelings on the matter, Zelda smiled to her daughter. “Your older sisters have to help the kingdom, but don’t worry. They’re smart warriors like your papa.”

Zelda gathered her children up and scooped them up in a hug. “Listen to your elders and continue to look out for each other. I love you all very much.”

“We love you too momma.”

Kanisa started to cry, holding her mother close. “Don’t want you to go. I’m scared.”

“Oh my baby girl. It’s ok to be scared, but you have to believe in having hope as well. Hope carries us through the deepest of darkest days.” Zelda gently rubbed her daughter’s hair to sooth her.

As her children calmed down and were escorted by Sheikah, Impa patted Zelda on the back. “How are they?”

“Kanisa is still a mess, but I don’t blame her. She’s the most terrified by the situation. Impa, another thought has occurred to me. Leere is somewhere out in Hyrule. I want you to find her and bring her to safety back to the castle.” Zelda wiped a brow, the days events leaving her already exhausted. “I can’t stand the thought of losing a child on top of potentially losing my husband.”

Carefully, Impa held Zelda closely. “They aren’t lost. Not yet. I will do as you command and bring Leere back to you.”

“Thank you Impa. Thank you.”

~

Zannah carefully made her way through the sewers of Hyrule. Fisk, her loyal bodyguard, always made sure to cover her flank at all times. The smell of waste traveling from the toilets from castle town above was wrenching to the warrior princess’ nose.

Coming across a length of tunnel that could only be crossed if she were to step in a tide of filth. Taking a breath to relax, she jumped in, the gross and dank water rising up to her knees. Zannah walked through the water step by step, something thicker once in a while bumping against her leg. The waste was terrible, but all that was on her mind was how her partial failure at the castle would have her father view her.  

Behind her, Fisk tapped her shoulder, breaking her out of her intense inner thought process. “My Princess. I could have carried you.”

Zannah turned her head to Fisk, a frightening look of contempt towards her bodyguard. “I will not have anyone carry me. I can stand on my own two feet, even if that means walking through my own failures of filth.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize-”

“No, you didn’t. Think before speaking to me again.”

Wisely, he decided to keep his mouth shut, least he upset the princess once more. As they continued forward through the underground, a sound faintly echoed from down below. “What is that?”

Fisk shook his head, unsure. “I don’t know my princess.”

Getting out of the sewer water and finally onto a stone walkway, Zannah followed her ear to the sound, until, finally, she could make out a tune.

“Don’t laugh as death passes you by, for you might be the next to die. The grim reaper walks beside of thee, she comes for all, for you and me.”

Zannah was taken aback. Did monsters live down in the deepest depths of Hyrule? Truthfully, she did not want to find out. Not too far, she noticed a light source glistening down in the form of three small beams from above. “Fisk. Get us out of here.”

The man nodded, charging a bolt of fire in his hands. Once ready, he fired it off upwards, blasting the grate from its resting position. The princess could feel stares on her from the darkness of the underground. “Fisk, hurry up and make sure the coast above ground is clear. The sooner we are free of this filthy area the better.”

As the man climbed a rusty ladder to the surface, Zannah’s breath hitched. From around a corner in the distance, it was unmistakable now. A tail flicked around the corner, and peering eyes stared at her. With a shriek, she fired a bolt of fire in the direction of the spying monster. As the flame whizzed by, it illuminated the rest of the darkness. Clung to the walls were monstrous spiders and hiding in the sewer water heads of reptiles poked out with gleaming eyes. One of the Lizalfos raised an axe, hissing a warning at the Hasai.

“Princess Zannah! Hurry!”

Listening to her bodyguard and not wanting to pick a fight, she rose a temporary wall of fire with her magic to give herself time to safely keep a distance between herself and the monsters of the sewers. Rushing up the ladder, she didn’t care about the feeling of rust scraping her hands. Zannah just wanted to breath in the open air. Getting out, she threw down an explosive fireball into the sewer to scatter any who thought it would be smart to pursue her. “Fisk! Put the grate back on!”

On her command, her loyal subject picked up the metal cylinder, slamming it closed on the opening. With a quick use of concentrated fire, both the Hasai fused the grate to the earth. The princess took a few deep breaths for her adrenaline to die down, but once it did, she slowly looked around her surroundings.

The drain lead to a small hillside near a tiny fishing community. The sight had seen better days. It appeared abandoned for quite some time, with flowers and weeds growing over the area. The hillside across the river was a beautiful sight to take in, however. Lush green grass with trees marking the land and sprouting beautiful foliage. Across the river, there was even a deer eating the grass.

Fisk was heading to waters edge when he waved Zannah over. “Come your majesty. We should wash our stench away.”

“Now?” Zannah was still looking around, this time for signs of the enemy. No doubt by now the Hylians had discovered her escape. How fast could they begin their search. Did all the monsters of this land serve the king and queen? “We should make haste back to camp. The Grand Admiral will want to know that I am well and free.”

“And do you think anyone will want to see you covered in a thick stench?”

Zannah scowled, scanning the surrounding area as she thought of an excuse in her head. She none as Fisk continued.

“Take this moment to relax and to enjoy the beauty of the land.”

“Relax?”

“Yes. Just take a breath, bath in the water, and let your worries go for the moment.” Fisk carefully bathed his full body in, not taking off his clothing. “If you’d like, I can wash your clothes and keep an eye out for potential danger. You’d be alerted at the first sign of trouble.”

Zannah felt her breath hitch as she decided what to do. Finally, her sealed her decision with an iron will that would not be persuaded otherwise. “No. We have no time to enjoy the subtleties of this land. Every corner can carry an enemy. Hyrule has spies, soldiers, and monsters at their command. I will not be captured again and bring even more dishonour. Now get out of the river and move out. Consider it an order.”

Fisk watched Zannah turn her back before he could argue in his own favour. Shaking his head, he picked himself out of the water and followed her lead.

~

Seras had just returned from a scouting party towards Zora Domain. There were odd fish people in the river, but none of them had the stomach to face him or his forces in combat. Just as Bellum predicted, there was a strong fortification along the rivers path. The rocks all around the forest area and the mountains of the domain were nearly impossible to climb in the rain, and for whatever reason, the prince felt that the strong rain concentrated solely at the domain was not natural.

Returning to the camp, the prince was eager to report his findings. Once he did, that would mean he could take his army and capture the domain for himself. Opening the tent, he nearly stumbled on his words when he saw his sister. “Z-Zannah?”

His sister looked absolutely terrible. When she turned his way, Seras was able to get a waft of her, and he crunched his nose in disgust. “What the hell happened to you?”

Seras didn’t get to listen to her sister explain herself as Bellum spoke on her behalf. “It seems your sister escaped on her own accord. Must say, I am impressed. I would not have thought the forces of Hyrule to be so careless with such a high value prisoner. Perhaps our attacks have stretched them thinner than even I have foreseen. Your skill on the matter of your escape seems to be questioned, seeing how you were captured in the first place. I wonder how much luck you have left, Princess Zannah.”

Zannah flinched. It was one thing to internalize her own failure, but it was another to hear it aloud from the lips of someone else.

“Yes. But why do you smell so bad?”

“I had to escape through the sewer system. It was-”

“Zannah, that’s absolutely disgusting.” Seras sneered with his interruption. “I can’t believe you’d stoop yourself to the level of a rat.”

Zannah couldn’t hide the hurt on her face, opting to turn away. “I thought you’d be just happy to hear I escaped with my life.”

Bellum cleared his throat to bring attention back to him. “Well, it saves us the trouble of tracking you down. Prince Seras. Your report please.”

Seras narrowed his eyes at his sister, looking back to Bellum slowly. “Yes. Well, as you predicted the Zora have the support of the Hylian armies. The rocks make it incredibly difficult to climb beyond the intended boundaries leading to their capital. Along the river path they appear to have defensive towers in place.”

“As I suspected. For now, we lack sufficient aerial support to transport a large number of troops over the mountains. As much as we’ll be forced to power through their armies, there are some other options for us that can divide up their forces and ensure victory.” Bellum took out a map of Hyrule he had acquired and placed it on a war table. Taking out little blue flags, he placed them at various points. “The Hylian forces will protect these bridges with their life. The capital of the Zora appears to be unfortified itself. If they don’t want their civilians massacred, they would be smart to surrender once we cross the final bridge. There are also key hillsides that give the Hylians and Zora a range advantage on us from above. The engage the Hylians here is mandatory if we don’t want to be cut down by artillery fire. Finally, I suspect they wouldn’t be foolish enough to leave their greatest weakness unguarded here.”

Seras pointed to the blue flag at the right, instantly hooked at the word ‘weakness’ when regarding his enemy. “And what pray tell would that be?”

“According to a Hylian we captured, there is an ancient dam that holds a lagoon. This lagoon has caverns that link all the way to Lake Hylia. If this dam were to be destroyed, the water of the lagoon would flood the western border of Hryule, going so far as to even destroy castle town.”

“Then we could end this war!”

“Yes. With the fall of the Zora’s capital and Queen Zelda’s castle, I predict that the rest of Hyrule’s tribes would fall in line in servitude of the Kikai Empire.”

Zannah smelled herself, wincing. Perhaps she should have taken that bath. “And how will we split our forces?”

Taking out red flags to symbolize the Hasai, Bellum carefully divided them up. “Our main forces will march across the valley and through the bridges. At this point here they will split up to engage the encamped enemy positions.” At the far left near the ocean, Bellum placed a flag above a hilltop looking down on capital. “Here, I will fly one of our blimps with a small battalion of troops. There, we will rain down discord upon the forces of Hyrule, scattering them into confusion.”

“And, what will my position be?” There was wonder in the prince’s voice.

In turn, Bellum smiled like a parent about to reward his child. “You, Prince Seras, will have the honour of leading our forces in combat amongst the front lines. You are the face of the one who killed the Great Ganondorf. With you at the front, you will have the most combat, but also the most glory and attention on you. T0-D will destroy the dam while the majority of Hyrule’s forces are distracted with you.”

Zannah was almost afraid to ask, but she spoke up none the less. “And my position?”

“Yes. You will provide a strike force, observing the land from above on your mount. Wherever a Hasai is in need of support, you will provide it.”

“I won’t fail again.”

“I know you won’t. I can’t imagine the wrath that would fall upon you if you did. For now, rest. We shall march for victory in the morning. Dismissed.”

Zannah looked to her brother. He didn’t meet her gaze as he walked out. “Hey, Seras. Wait a minute.”

When they were outside Bellum’s tent and a good ways away, he turned his heel and slapped her across the face. “How could you! How could you dishonour us the way you did?!”

Zannah held her cheek, a red mark burning on her green skin. “I accomplished my mission! We kidnapped the girl!”

“But you were captured! A princess in chains. It’s disgraceful!”

“There are always risks, but I succeeded in my task.”

“Only for the Hylians to reclaim the girl anyways.”

The was just another piece of information to break Zannah’s pride down even more. “They what?”

“You heard me. The Hylians found the girl and rescued her from our clutches. At least when I killed Ganon he stayed dead!”

Zannah didn’t know how to reply at first. “Brother. We’re a team. You don’t need to bring me down further than I let myself down.”

“No. I don’t think so. I thought you were invincible. We are suppose to be invincible. You told me that you’d never leave me. But you showed the world that you are vulnerable. That you can be weak. You dishonour the Empire and our people by having a royal princess show our enemies that we can be defeated.”

“Brother…”

Seras sneered, turning his back on her. “You smell revolting. Go clean yourself up and get the sleep you need. I’m going to rest up so I can lead us all to victory tomorrow. I’m going to be the next Emperor that our people need.”

The prince stomped his way to his quarters, leaving Zannah feeling smaller than the ants that crawled across her boots.

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Previous Ch. https://mrneighbourlove.tumblr.com/post/615242675307905024/the-war-of-fire-ch-6-dead-hands-upon-the-earth

Next Ch. https://mrneighbourlove.tumblr.com/post/621741836915130368/the-war-of-fire-ch-8-the-battle-of-zoras-domain

[a-bit-too-much-of-a-zelda-fan]

LinkedUniverse Fanfic Ch. 12: Musings and Memories

Stop! You’ve Violated the Law!

So, you’ve stumbled upon this original post for my Linked Universe fanfiction. That’s okay, it happens to everyone. As of March 2021, I’ve uploaded the entirety of this fanfic to my Archive of Our Own page. Along with finally giving the story a name–Oops! All Links: A Linked Universe Story–I made substantial edits to some of the chapters. These range from minor stylistic revisions to fixing a gaping plot hole that kinda completely broke the character conflict in the earlier chapters. I also renamed and renumbered (but not reordered) the chapters. Specifically, this is now Chapter 14: Musings and Memories.

The AO3 iterations of these chapters are the definitive versions. So, if you would like to read this fanfiction, please do so on AO3, right here. With this embedded link. Hehe. Geddit? Link?

Note: My screen name on AO3 is FrancisDuFresne. Yes, that is me. I am not plagiarizing myself.

Anyway, for posterity’s sake, the rest of the original post is below the cut.

Next up in my @linkeduniverse fan narrative, the Links have made it through the worst of the forest and are finally on the way to their destination. Time is feeling a bit nostalgic, and Wild shares one of his own memories with his companions. Word Count: 2170

With the lightning of Urbosa’s Fury and the Thunder Spell gone, the forest returned to its gloom. Their lanterns still did little to help them. Wild took his Sheikah Slate off his belt and activated the map. Its blue light played across his face. After inspecting it, he put it back and pointed to his left. “This way. It’ll be three or so hours.”

“Let’s get going, then,” Four said.

They nodded and started in the direction Wild pointed. “Wild, are you going to keep that halberd?” Warrior asked.

The finely-crafted spear was fastened to their resident amnesiac’s baldric, next to his bow and Stalfos shield. The ax-like head of the weapon glinted in the dim lantern light. As weapons pulled free from half a fox’s corpse on a tree in the middle of a forest go, it was a nice find. “Yes, why?”

“Do you seriously just steal monsters’ weapons?”

Wild looked over his shoulder at his companion. They were both raised as knights, and Warrior certainly acted like it. He always kept his armor and weapons in tip-top shape. Wild knew how to do all that but saw no reason why not to just take weapons he came across. “Yes. I’m not going to leave a good weapon like this go to waste.”

Warrior shrugged. “Whatever floats your boat,” he said.

“It does,” Wild replied.

The Links walked in silence a while. After an uneasy hour in the dark, the tree canopy began to thin, letting more light in. Within another hour, it was bright enough that they could extinguish their lanterns. The patchwork of sunbeams piercing gaps in the leaves spilled light on the forest floor. With lighter scenery came lighter moods.

Time and Twilight felt a serenity neither expected, given recent events. They were both raised in forests, and this stroll reminded them of home. For Time, it tasted bittersweet. He was bullied by Mido and desperately wanted his own fairy, but overall, life in the Kokiri Forest had been kind to him. He cast aside his thoughts of regret and guilt. He whistled a tune he hadn’t in many, many years.

The song carried to the rest of them. It was a simple, cheerful melody. Its lightheartedness resonated with them deep down, like they had known it all their lives. A sudden, inexplicable urge to dance struck them. Wind looked up to the one-eyed hero walking by his side. Time didn’t seem to notice he was whistling at all. “What’s that?” Wind asked.

“Hm?”

“That song. What are you whistling?”

“Oh, that?” Time said with a chuckle. He rubbed the back of his hand with one hand. “My best friend used to play that song on her Ocarina all the time. She asked me to play it whenever I wanted to talk to her.”

“Do you?” Sky asked.

Time sighed. “Yes. I would give anything to hear her voice again.”

“What happened to her?” Hyrule asked. “I mean, if you don’t mind me asking.”

The oldest of the heroes looked up into the tree canopy. “She became a sage, one of the seven that sealed Ganon away. ‘Saria, the Sage of Forest.’ Has a ring to it, huh? Once I returned to my own time, I couldn’t call her anymore. Goddesses, do I miss her.”

Twilight sidled up next to Time and put his hand on his friend’s shoulder. “If it’s any consolation,” he said, “I’ve got a friend I can’t talk to anymore.”

Most of them could relate in one way or another. Wind smiled, reminiscing on his adventures with the King of Red Lions, Linebeck, and Ciela. “Ha, try three.”

“Or try…” Wild began. He went silent, thinking better of speaking his mind.

After a moment of awkward silence, Hyrule tried to break the tension. “It’s not a contest, you know.

“Only people losing contests say that,” Wind said.

The nine heroes had a good laugh at that. As they walked, the woods became even thinner and more light came in. It was as if their surroundings reflected a positive turn in their journey. They entered a pitch-black forest, fought off seventeen Hinox, and were finally making their way to out into the brightness of day.

“Speaking of that halberd,” Sky started, “Wild, you were amazing with that thing! Where’d you learn to do that?

Wild kept looking ahead of them. “It was part of my knight’s training growing up. I’m also good with a claymore… and pretty much anything, really.”

“Anything?” Wind asked. His voice was charged with excited curiosity.

“Yeah, I guess. I’ve used three-pronged, razor-sharp boomerangs—those things are brutal.”

“Wait, seriously?” Twilight interjected. “What if you don’t catch it the right way?”

“Uh…” Wild trailed off. He frowned and crossed his arms. Thirty seconds passed before he shrugged and admitted “Huh, I guess I never considered that.”

“You’re kidding me,” Legend said, putting his hands on his hips. “There’s no way even a weapons expert like you can pull that stunt off. Hell, there’s no way that kind of weapon even exists.”

Wild stopped walking. He turned around to his friends. “You don’t believe me?”

Four raised his hand and waggled it, as if saying I mean, kinda. “Fine,” Wild said. “I’ve got proof.”

“Really?!” Wind blurt out. He didn’t doubt Wild at all; he just wanted to see whatever this proof was. “Do you have one?”

Wild was unhooking his Sheikah Slate from his belt as he said “unfortunately, no. I broke the last one.”

“Aww…”

“I do, however,” he continued, tapping the screen on, “have a video.”

This was met with looks of confusion. Heads tilted, eyebrows cocked, and brows furrowed, they clearly didn’t know what Wild was talking about. “You guys have no idea what a video is, do you?”

Time smiled and shook his head. “Not in the slightest.”

“It’s basically a photo, but it takes so many shots that when they’re played really fast, the image looks like it’s moving. It also records sound. Purah, my Sheikah friend who developed the camera rune on my Slate, eventually created this new rune.”

“Well, let’s see it!” Sky urged.

They all wanted to see this. Not only was it new technology none of them knew, but it was apparently proof of this boomerang. With a few taps, Wild brought up the video. He waved the others over to him, who huddled around him to get good a look at the Sheikah Slate. Wild tapped the center of the screen.

The screen lit up with the image of a vast field with rolling hills. The Links watched in awe as the clouds and grass moved. Before they could get over the shock of a moving picture, a miniature Wild walked into the frame. His hair was considerably shorter. His right hand was hidden behind his back.

“Come on, Link!” a girl’s voice called from out of frame. “Throw it already!”

“Okay, okay,” he called back. The real Wild knew it was coming but was thrown off-guard nonetheless by hearing his own voice. He was still getting over the fact that he sounded different to everyone else than to himself. He felt a pang of longing when he heard Zelda’s voice; another incentive for him and his other selves to finish this and return to their own worlds.

A gasp from his friends snapped Wild out of his thoughts and back to the video. His video self took his hand from behind his back and raised a Lizal tri-boomerang. The screen zoomed and focused on the lethal weapon; Zelda evidently decided a detail-shot would be a nice addition. Wild took a moment to appreciate her attention to detail.

The boomerang had three jagged prongs branching off a leather-bound handle. To the others, it seemed that just touching the blades would break skin. They weren’t far off. The hero shifted it in his hand, letting light reflect off the shiny, almost-black surface. Zelda zoomed back out to show Wild’s face. He raised it above his head and grinned.

Zelda zoomed as far out as possible now. “Three!” she shouted. “Two! One! Throw!”

The miniature Wild whipped his hand forward and let the boomerang go. The deadly weapon spun rapidly up into the sky. It cleaved through the air, flying in a wide ark. Zelda was having trouble following it exactly, but they could track it by the sunlight glinting off its blades. Nearly fifty yards out, it started to circle back.

The other Links didn’t know it, but they were all holding their breath. How could Wild possibly catch that? they thought. The real Wild smiled, knowing exactly how he had caught it. The boomerang was coming in hot, closing distance. There was something wrong, though. It hadn’t turned back far enough. It was heading straight for Zelda.

The Princess realized this crucial fact too late to get out of the way. She was paralyzed. The cruel weapon would certainly be the end of her. She let out a shriek. Just then, a rush of brown and blue whipped across the screen. THUD. The camera panned to the side to see Wild lying on his side on the grass.

Zelda was clearly rushing to his side by the way the camera was bouncing and shaking. “Link!” she cried. “Are you alright?”

Wild slowly rose to a stand, holding his right shoulder with his left hand. In his right hand was the boomerang. The monstrous weapon was gripped firmly by its handle. By the indifference playing across his features, Wild was only mildly surprised that he made the catch. Zelda was caught between thanking him and apologizing, neither of which coming out quite right.

“Don’t worry about it,” Wild said finally. “Your father did give me a job to do, after all.”

The Sheikah Slate suddenly went dark, then lit back up to show twelve tiny images laid out in a grid. The real Wild turned it off hooked it back onto his belt. He turned to face his friends. They were all dumbstruck. Their jaws had dropped. It took a moment before they let out the breaths they just realized they had been holding. “Did you…” Four whispered, “did you seriously do that?”

Wild gave a sheepish smile and rubbed the back of his head. “Yeah.”

“Whoa…” Wind managed. “How?”

“I didn’t really think about it,” Wild admitted. “I saw it heading for Zelda and knew I had to catch it, so I did.”

Shaking his head with a toothy grin, Legend said “Okay, I take it back. That was masterful.”

Sky was especially taken back. He had never thrown a boomerang in his life. Throwing a wooden one and catching it seemed hard already, let alone one with only a one-in-four chance you catch the end that doesn’t cut your hand off. He supposed his closest equivalent was his Beetle, but that only took moving his forearm to steer.

“That was crazy,” Four said. “You need a lot of coordination to be able to catch that properly.” Then, pointing his thumb at his chest, “and I know coordination.”

Their minds returned to the fight in the cave, when Four used his Sword’s power to split himself into four fragments of himself. They slew Stalfos left and right in perfect unison. Yes, the others confirmed, He does know coordination. “Still,” Four resumed, “I have to admit you were amazing.”

Warrior looked up at the sky. From what he could see between the leaves, it was getting darker. He wasn’t in the mood to be in this forest in the dark again. “We need to keep moving. It shouldn’t be much longer, should it?”

Wild consulted his map. “Yeah. One more hour and we’ll be out.”

A sigh ran through the group. It was about time. They were shocked that even after everything, they would hit their destination before sundown. This put a pep in their step as they resumed their walk.  Before they knew it, they were leaving the forest behind them. After several days of walking, and more fights than were welcome, they finally made it. This town was neither burning nor illusory, for which the heroes were thankful.

“Friends,” Wild started, “after much ado, welcome to the Town of Selggog.”

“It’s about time,” Legend said. “Feels like we’ve been trying to get here forever.”

Four cocked his head. “Odd name for a town, huh?”

“Link is an odd name for a legendary hero,” Time joked.

“Hey!” the others objected in unison. They exchanged glances and burst into laughter. The Links were their own persons with their own lives, but something bound them all together. Perhaps their sense of humor was just one more thing that they all shared. For all their differences, it was this solidarity that united them in hardship.

Not bothering to stifle a yawn, Hyrule managed “well, what are we waiting for? We’re not going to get any shuteye just standing here.”

“My thoughts exactly,” Twilight agreed. “Let’s go on, then.”

So, they did.

[hyruviandoctor]

Prisoner: Chapter I – Dinner with The Beast

Hey there! Despite the chapter number, this is the second part of a long fic I’m writing that details the (platonic) relationship between Ganondorf and Zelda during the hundred years Link was asleep in Breath of the Wild. You can read the prologue here! I have one more chapter already ready that just needs final editing, so expect that soon too! 

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Rating: Probably T (just to be safe)

Characters: Zelda, Ganondorf

World: Breath of the Wild (During the 100 years Link was asleep)

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Zelda was taken aback as a deep, hearty, almost friendly laugh emanated from the monster she called an enemy. He grabbed his stomach with one hand and threw his head back in an uproarious laugh that seemed to resonate inside Zelda’s very core. It was a laugh reminiscent of the warmth of the desert sands late in the evening, under the shade of a palm tree near the oasis – infectious and relaxed.

Zelda tightened her grip on her rapier.

“It has been quite a while since I’ve had a fight like this,” the Gerudo chuckled. “You are truly gifted with that blade, your highness.”

Zelda’s frown deepened.

“Come now, you can’t really expect to just fight me continuously, can you? Young princess, we’ve been at this for nearly two years now.”

Zelda’s eyes widened and her mouth opened in shock. Two years? It couldn’t possibly have been that long. There was no way she had been dueling the Gerudo King for that much time. Surely someone would have come along and defeated Ganon had that much time truly passed. Surely Link would have awoken by now.

“And just what do you expect me to do then, Ganon?” Zelda snapped. “Sit here and have tea with you?”

“Please Princess, call me Ganondorf. I am not Ganon.”

The Gerudo sighed.

“Well, I suppose on some level I am. But not on any level that I wish to identify with, and not in the way you assume. And yes, I thought we could dine and chat for a bit, if I’m being quite honest. Please, will you sit with me?”

Ganondorf clapped and the void around them changed, the malicious fog shifting and congealing until it formed into a room reminiscent of a Gerudo parlor. Soft, colorful rugs covered the floor and brilliant tapestries hung from the mudbrick walls. A table sat low on the floor with pillows on either side of it for seating, and delicacies were stacked high on trays and dishes atop it. Braziers filled the room with a relaxing glow, and curtains were closed over the door and windows to hide the swirling mass of corruption outside. A number of comfortable-looking furniture decorated the rest of the room: large, cushioned couches and chairs, piles of pillows, and soft rugs. All-in-all it was a very cozy and inviting space, and it reminded Zelda of the many nights she spent with Urbosa after her mother’s passing.

The Gerudo King sounded oddly refined, Zelda thought. He certainly spoke in the manner of someone capable of being a ruler at least, and the room didn’t seem to harbor any apparent dangers. She wasn’t about to let her guard down, but she felt there was no immediate harm in speaking with him. It’s not as if she had much choice; she was stuck here same as he was.

Ganondorf walked over to the table and took a seat, gesturing for Zelda to do the same on the other side. She joined him – placing her blade by her side and making sure it was well within arm’s reach should the need arise – as he poured a cup of wine and handed it to her. She frowned. She wasn’t willing to risk a cheap death by poison. Ganondorf rolled his eyes and chuckled, setting the cup down and pouring another. He drank from it, making sure to show the stain from the wine on his beard and looked expectantly at the Hylian Princess. Slowly, she lifted the cup to her mouth, smelled it, and drank. She was taken aback. This wasn’t at all like the wine they had in the castle; this was smoky and somewhat fruity, not at all bitter. Her host smiled proudly as a look of contentment spread across her face and he grabbed the cooked leg of some kind of bird, taking a bite out of the succulent meat and sighing happily.

This was not at all what Zelda had expected when she had marched defiantly up the path to Hyrule Castle to face the Calamity, nor was it what she was met with when she first entered this realm. For the first, goodness, two years now she had been locked in a constant struggle with her captor and co-prisoner, and now he was acting as though all of that simply hadn’t happened – as if the world outside wasn’t being ravaged by the evil he carried. He was acting like – well – he was acting like the friendly ruler of another land entertaining a royal party.

“Tell me princess,” Ganondorf said, meat juice running down his chin, “Why do you think it is we fight one another?”

Zelda’s brow furrowed once more.

“Because you seek to destroy my kingdom – my people – and the Goddess chose me to fight back against you and the Calamity.”

Ganondorf sighed.

“Part of that is true, I suppose. You were indeed chosen by Hylia – in a way – to fight me – sort of. And I suppose I do seek the destruction of your kingdom to some degree. But there’s much more to it than that, I’m afraid.”

He wiped his mouth and took a sip from his cup, then reached for another leg. Zelda watched impatiently as she waited for him to continue, but he seemed perfectly content to drag things out. After a moment she huffed and reached for a bowl of hydromelon chunks and began to eat the watery fruit – a favorite of Link’s, if she remembered correctly.

A few minutes of silence passed before Ganondorf once again spoke.

“I was born a very long time ago, your highness. Long enough ago that Hyrule is in an entirely different geographic region now. Gods, people move around so much and I simply don’t understand it. Anyway - “

He refilled his cup and took another drink before continuing.

“As I said, I was born a very, very long time ago. Ganondorf Dragmire, King of Thieves, they called me. Sure, I may have led some Gerudo raiding parties back in the day, but my people were hardly thieves. We mostly traded with Hyrule, only stealing when met with cruelty or malice. Unfortunately, that happened fairly often. You have to understand, there was a lot more hatred for Gerudo back in those days. We lived in the harsh desert and had dark skin and harsh features and worshipped a different goddess, so obviously we were evil and not to be trusted. At least, that’s what the people of Hyrule thought.

“I met with the King of Hyrule one fateful day, all those years ago. I wonder what would have happened to our people had things gone differently that day. We met under pretenses of a treaty, an alliance – something to better both our people. What happened was, of course, not at all that. For earlier that month I had gone to the Kokiri Forest and – oh my, you may not know what a Kokiri is, now that I think about it.”

Zelda sat in silence, completely caught off guard by how relaxed his tone was. This was the greatest evil known to all time? This was the man who had caused the near downfall of her ancestors’ kingdoms so many a time? This was the malicious force currently ravaging her own people? How could that possibly be the case? And yet, she knew it was true, otherwise she wouldn’t be here in the first place.

“See, the Kokiri were the original form the Koroks took. They appeared as small Hylian children, clad in green and incredibly mischievous. I had entered their forest and demanded the Great Deku Tree turn over an object of great power, something that would allow me to claim the Triforce as my own. He was……uncooperative, to say the least. I didn’t enjoy placing a curse on him. He didn’t need to die.”

Ganondorf closed his eyes and bowed his head, almost as if he felt regret for what he had done. He took a slow sip of his wine, then watched the liquid spin as he slightly shook the cup.

“I know a seedling of his sprouted a few years later; I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s the same on that’s growing above that murky forest across the canyon now.”

A few moments of silence passed while the two ate. Zelda sat pondering what the Gerudo had said, wondering just what he was getting at. When he spoke next it sounded slower, more reflective.

“Your ancestor watched me from the courtyard window as I met her father, the king. She thought she was sly, but I turned my head and locked eyes with her to show her I wasn’t as naïve as she thought. Unfortunately for her, she didn’t get the message.”

Ganondorf turned his head to the ceiling and frowned gently, his bright red locks cascading down his back like a flaming waterfall.

“I was much crueler in those days.”

He closed his eyes.

“The kingdom burned and I sat upon my dark throne, victorious and powerful. And then you showed up with that boy.”

He looked the Hylian Princess in the eye.

“You and that damn boy had to ruin everything. I had worked so hard, done everything I could to win – even secured the Triforce of Power – and yet the two of you still managed to beat me without batting an eye. You locked me away in the Spirit Realm, dooming me to this very void for eternity. That, my dear princess, was the start of our battle.”

He raised his cup to his lips and drank deeply once more. Then he rose and sauntered to one of the couches where he laid down and spoke no more that evening.

[strad-214]

Ocarina of Time Fan Fiction, Chapter 3: Duty Calls

Welcome to chapter 3. Once again, cutos to @linkeduniverse for inspiring this story. Check out their stuff! This isn’t as depressing a chapter, so I’ll omit the warning. However, there is foreshadowing to the inevitable showdown with Majora if you read on! Enjoy!

(psst! I’ve never been an active post maker before, can anybody write me a message with instructions for linking my chapter posts together, that would be great! also, would like to edit chapter 2 to include another link to @linkeduniverse, there isn’t one there and I meant there to be one)

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Link stood at the door to the council chamber adjusting his tunic for what must’ve been the hundredth time. He wanted to look presentable for his first day on the job. Before court could be held, the King must first be advised by his council. Link was instructed to come here first, though he knew not why. Maybe the sages wanted to tell the King why appointing a boy the soul protector of the Kingdom is a bad idea… he thought to himself as he re-buckled his waist belt.

Finally satisfied with how he felt in his own clothing, he opened the door and strode in. Sitting at a long, oval table were members of each race in Hyrule– save for the Kokiri and the Gerudo– and an empty chair at the end of the table closest to the door. In place of those two missing representatives were two Hylians very ornately dressed.

“Link, welcome.” The King said from the head of the table. On either side of him were three of the older men he had seen at court the day before. Six sages, six representatives, twelve people total, not including the King. “Your seat awaits you, Hero of Time.” The King gestured at the other end of the table. Link nodded and walked over to take his seat.

“Thank you Sire.” Link responded as he sat down. He felt so small sitting amongst grown men. When he awoke as a young adult some months ago after he drew the Master Sword, Link matured immediately. That maturity stayed with him now as a young boy again. So, to say the least, this felt extremely awkward.

The King turned to the man who sat to his immediate right and nodded; The Sage of Light stood and lifted a piece of parchment and began to read:

“Members of the King’s Council: today we welcome the newly appointed Protector of the Kingdom, Link, son of None.” The council members applauded quietly, all but one member, the one Hylian Nobleman

“…. what?!” He exclaimed. “This is a child! How can he be the protector of Hyrule?!” He gestured angrily at Link, who sat there in embarrassed silence.

“You address the Hero of Time, Lord Eberat.” The Sage of Light warned. “You owe him your respect.”

“Rubbish! There is no ‘Hero of Time’! There never has been! What proof have you that this brat is the Hero of Legend?” He Nobleman insisted. “If he be the Hero, then let him pull the Sacred Blade and bring it to us!”

“Out of the question!” The Sage argued. “He has been in our visions, there was a great evil he stopped and when he did, we were made ignorant of its feats! If he pulls that sword–”

“Then it would be proof!” The Nobleman interrupted the Sage. “Enough of these 'visions’! I’ll not allow the King to let Hyrule go to ruin because a mere child was made protector of all we hold dear!”

“Is my daughter’s word good enough for you, Lord Eberat?” The King asked calmly. The Nobleman suddenly lost his steam.

“Forgive me your Highness, I merely ponder the wisdom of this move of yours without the council’s guidance.” Lord Eberat conceded.

“I am the King. I do not need your permission for anything.” The King continued. “If I say Link is to take hold of your lands and titles, then it shall be. You are all only here to inform me of the prosperity or decay of my Kingdom. You will do well to remember that.” All color evacuated from Lord Eberat’s face, yet he looked as if he intended to argue back at his own King. I stead, he very quickly leaned back in his chair and stiffened up.

“Yes, my King.” He answered strongly as if he was given a great honor. Perhaps accepting this ring was a bad idea…. Link thought to himself.

“Please continue, Sage Bolrham.” The King gestured to the Sage of Light again.

“Yes, my Liege…. It is our duty to first introduce ourselves to Link and welcome him to this council–”

“May I speak?” Link suddenly asked. He didn’t know when he decided he was going to say something, but now there was no way to back down. Everyone looked at him, then to the King, who slowly laced his fingers together and then nodded. “…. thank you.” Link responded quietly and stood up to see everyone better.

“…. I understand that everyone has reservations about this…. I do too…. I did not ask for this appointment, but I also did not ask to bear the burden that the Sage of Light has referenced already. All I can ask is…” Link now looked at everyone, unsure of what to say next. “… I’m going to do my best, I will not fail you, sirs. Especially not you, your Highness.” Link lightly bowed while looking the King in his eyes. “If this means that all my appointment would do is breed infighting, then I will resign immediately.”

The room was so quiet that you could hear Castle Town from here. Link couldn’t feel his hands or his feet, the anxiety of talking like this to such powerful people might make him faint. The King, finally stood.

“Before we proceed, I want to make this clear: I have the utmost faith in the Goddesses, whose words are interpreted by the Six Sages and by my own daughter. Above all this, I take my advice the most. Link is our best hope for peace in this Kingdom. I know we have peace right now, but that will not always be the case. And when it won’t be the case, he alone will be able to help us. So, if he should feel the need to resign because of any of you, trust that you shall feel my wrath.” Nobody answered. Link could feel himself shrinking even though he had never stood taller or stiffer in his life.

“Anybody?” The King challenged again. At this, Link finally sat down, more from fear of what would come next than because he felt it appropriate. “Good. Now, if there is nothing else, let us proceed. Bolrham?” The King sat down and once again gave the Sage of Light the table.

The rest of the table in turn introduced themselves to Link then began to discuss the Kingdom’s affairs and what the King should expect at court today. Link struggled to remember anyone’s names, he was just trying to understand why it was necessary for him to know why the Goron’s were once again having a Bomb Flower shortage this year. He just sat in silence and let it all wash over him, once again wishing things were different.

The final business of the meeting was to inform Link of his duties. He was to maintain the best standard of swordsmanship and be the example for every soldier and knight in Hyrule. He was to go to every province in turn and make sure the people are safe and the security is adequate. When Link had something of interest to report, he would inform the council. Most threats would be small; Link only needed to get involved if the threats were large and would usually require a large force. Finally, Link only had to attend council meetings and court when summoned, though he may attend whenever he wished. When Link was in court, he would stand guard between the throne of the King and the Princess, the latter of which was often empty during court. Zelda wouldn’t constantly attend until she was older.

After this was reported to Link, the council emptied directly into the audience chamber where trumpets heralded the arrival of the King and council. A large mass of nobles and knights kneeled until the Sage of Light bid them rise again.

“The King will now attend to the matters of the people! First, Sire, we have–”

Link immediately tuned out the entire ordeal. One by one, nobles, common folk, knights, representatives, workers, and land owners came to ask the King for advice, report on continuing matters, request assistance with everyday life, offer taxes and supplies to the kingdom, and congratulate Link directly on his appointment. Many Knights told him that they looked forward to his visit to their forts and to spar with the Legendary Hero of Time. To all of these, Link merely nodded.

I’m going to be standing here all day, aren’t I? Listening to this rabble…. Link dreaded. These were matters for governors and Kings, not boy knights. Not that Link didn’t grieve for the widow from Akkala Ridge who just lost her only son to malnourishment, but he couldn’t help her. So… he felt guilty. What could he, a hero, do to help her?

***

The court went on like this through lunch. By 1:30pm, the King finally dismissed all business for the day. Link finally moved for what felt like the first time in ages; he was so stiff. No wonder the guards can’t fight, they’re too stiff from standing around all day… he thought as he stretched out.

“Link,” the King beckoned. Link snapped to and hurried over to the King and began to kneel. “No no, no need…” the King insisted. Embarrassed, Link slowly stood upright again and awaited his King’s word.

“Son, thank you for accepting this position. The people feel like they have something to look up to.” The King placed his hand on Link’s shoulder. Link tenses up immediately, not know how to respond to such a claim.

“Um… thank you, Sire… I’m sure the people look up to you too” Link finally answered.

“Me?” The King chuckled softly. “I am their King, they 'have to’ look up to me. You are their symbol of hope that I could never be. They’ll need you before the end.”

Link blinked “…. the end, Sire?”

“Yes, the end….” The King’s gaze drifted as if lost in thought. A dreadful silence followed, filled with infinite possibilities and unspoken questions.

“…. Bah, don’t listen to me.” The King suddenly smiled and patted Link’s shoulder again. “I am an old man, Link, I don’t mean to trouble you with my issues.”

“I am the Hero of Time, Sire. It is my duty to make your troubles my own.” Link declared with a confidence he didn’t know he had. He felt his face flush, hoping he had said the right thing.

“Indeed?” The King asked, clearly amused. “And here I thought you were going to escort my daughter through town this afternoon. How can you do that if you are here?”

“…. you mean I am dismissed?” Link asked sheepishly.

“So long as my thoughts are no burden to you young hero.” The King teased.

“No Sire!” Link declared. “… I mean yes Sire!… um… wait…”

The King laughed loudly. His hooting laughter reminded him much of Kaepora Gaebora. “Go Link, make safe my daughter and relax awhile. I will have fresh talks worthy of your blade tomorrow morning, same time, in the kitchens you will meet with me. We will share breakfast as we talk. Understood?”

“Yes Sire!” Link was sure this time.

“Very good lad, now go.” The King dismissed Link finally, who bowed with a smile and ran off towards Zelda’s garden. He almost skipped all the way there, he hadn’t felt this happy in months.

***

“Aww come on! I used to be good at this!” Link complained as he kicked over a chair in the Bombchu-Bowling alley. “They make these things differently here, I swear! They just aren’t the same!”

Zelda was laughing with delight, she had beaten Link twice now. “Care for another rematch?” Zelda teased her date.

“Nah, come on… let’s go do something else.” Link admitted defeat.

“Okay!” Zelda jumped down off her chair and took Link’s offered arm. The pair paid for their games and walked out into the evening air. “Everything is starting to close, what do you want to do?” She asked Link.

Link shrugged. "If everything is closing, what can we do?" The pair walked aimlessly for awhile until they finally landed at the fountain in the center of the square. Zelda hopped up onto the wall and traced her fingers in the water. Link stared into the water, a serenade playing through his head as he watched the water flow. His heart was getting heavy. The more he watched the water, the more his thoughts turned to despair and doubt... thoughts that broke as water suddenly splashed into his face.

"Gotcha!" Zelda squealed as she hopped down and ran around the fountain, giggling all the way. Link simply scowled and whipped off his face.

"Stop that..." he said. He hadn't expected her to, but she did. She stopped in place and looked at him, her smile no dimmer than it was before.

She slowly walked over to him. "What can I do?" She asked him.

"... what?" Link hesitated.

"What can I do to make you smile?" She asked him, her hand across his back now.

".... I don't know." Link sighed and turned now towards the Temple of Time. ".... can you alter reality?" He asked rhetorically.

"Maybe!" She answered gleefully. "Come one, I've got an idea!" She took Link's hand and they started walking towards the only shop in the square that would still be open.

Link audibly sighed "The Happy Mask Shop? That's not what I meant by changing--"

"It's... closed?..." Zelda stopped dead in her tracks. The only shop that was always open, no matter what time of day it was, was closed.

Link was suddenly alert. Something felt I credibly wrong, they both felt it. He let go of Zelda's hand and walked up to the door to peer inside. There was no movement and the shop was dark.

"Hello? Mask Salesman?" Li k called as he knocked on the door.

"Look, a note." Zelda said, she was standing next to the shop window. "It says: 'Gone Searching, Back in Three Days'." She read carefully.

"Gone searching?... Three Days?... What would 'he' be searching for?" Link asked Zelda who shook her head.

"I guess we will find out in Three Days." She said cluelessly.

Both of them stood shaken before the empty building. Something wasn't right here: if the Mask Salesman was going to be away, he got somebody to man the store. The store was never closed.

They walked back to the castle in silence, neither sad nor disappointed, but concerned. If it was anybody in all of Hyrule that had the Kingdom together, it was him. What could have happened to him? They both wondered, hoping that the peace of Hyrule wasn’t about to shatter into a million pieces.

*******************************************************************************************

Stay tuned for Chapter 4! My concerts are coming up and my lesson plan assignments are finally done, so I will have more time to write for a little while.

[attackfish]

Would something like specifically ATLA OoT au be better?

It is! So ignoring the rest of the series, myth, and split timeline, I can do this. I present to you the Legend of Zuko: Ocarina of Time.

1. Ten years before our story begins, a great civil war rages across Hyrule. A Hylian mother, gravely wounded, finds her way into Kokiri Forest and begs for shelter for her son, a young boy named Aang. Aang is protected in the forest by the great Deku Tree, Gyatso, until he turns ten, when the evil sorceror king of the Gerudo, Ozai, poisons the Great Deku Tree, and Aang is forced to undertake a quest to attempt to save him, and when he fails, to warn the royal family and Princess Zuko.

2. As Aang leaves Kokiri Forest, his oldest and dearest friend, a Kokiri named Toph, gifts him an ocarina she made out of clay. He will carry this ocarina with him throughout his journey, and learn to play on it so someday he will be able to wield the Ocarina of Time.

3. Princess Zuko is waiting for him in the royal palace courtyard. It is she who first shows him Ozai. She sets him the task to gather the three sacred stones, one of which he has already, to take hold of the triforce before Ozai. To do this, he travels to the city of the Gorons, where the Goron king Jeong Jeong tells him of his people's plight, their food cave full of monsters. Aang helps them, and Jeong Jeong gifts him his second sacred stone. They will later reunite when Zuko goes to the Fire Temple to defeat the blue dragon, Azula. In the Zora kingdom, Aang meets Chief Arnook, who asks him to save his daughter Yue from the river god, La, who has eaten her. When he does, the Zora Princess Yue gives him the last sacred stone and a promise that they will meet again. They do, when Aang must go to the Water Temple.

4. When Aang returns to the palace, he finds Princess Zuko with her guard, Iroh of the Sheikah fleeing on horseback as Ozai gives chase. The princess throws the Ocarina of Time to him to keep it out of Ozai's hands, and in a rage, Ozai shoots a fireball at the young princess, catching her in the face.

5. Aang takes the Ocarina of Time and the three sacred stones to the Temple of Time and opens the Door of Time, an action that will have fateful consequences.

[demonfox38]

Completed: The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time

For when you want to turn back time and piss off your dogs.

So, I’ve gone on previous spiels about how my sister and I used to play video games together. Never were we quite as synchronized as we were when we played “The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time.” Yet another acquisition to our library after the release of marketing extraordinaire “Super Smash Bros,” my sister and I spent summers splitting game duties into different tasks. While we could both handle navigation and puzzle solving, she could do competent stealthing, where I was more of the “Star Fox 64”-level boss fighting freak. So synched up were we that now, decades after the game’s release, we are simultaneous stunned at what the other sister had to do when we played the game separately. Like, I know we watched each other play, but it’s entirely different when you’re on your own, you know?

I guess we kind of Twinrova’d the game, to think of it. Though, which of us is which witch is another question entirely.

I’m not entirely sure why I was drawn to beat the game on my own. I think a part of it was being post “Super Smash Bros. Ultimate” and wanting some more Nintendo time. It could have been that I just saw my sister at Christmas and missed her. Hell, it could have been syncing up with some mutuals going through other Zelda titles or infatuation with randomized runs of the game on YouTube. Whatever it was, it was time. I mean, it had been fifteen years since I had last touched the original game. Eight, if you want to count the hour I put in with the 3DS remake.  

“The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time” is the fifth game in Nintendo’s “The Legend of Zelda” series. It’s one of those games like where it’s either regarded as one of the shiniest gemstones in game development history or one of the most overrated pieces of garbage ever. Personally, I fall more into the former camp. Like, I haven’t purchased as many copies of this as I have of “Castlevania: Symphony of the Night” (nine) or “Tales of Symphonia” (five), but I felt it so missing from my personal collection that I bought both the 3DS remake and the 1.0 N64 version of the game. It’s not like there’s no point in owning a Nintendo 64 if you don’t have this game, but it’s hard to justify it not being in your possession if you own the console.

Like, I know how it sucks to be apathetic towards / loathe a game that everyone else oversells. Trust me. I’m in that foxhole with “Final Fantasy VII.” But, I do think this is a damn fine game, rabid fans aside.  

“The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time” is a story about a tiny, dinky version of Link trying to save the world and accidentally creating an episode of “Quantum Leap” in the process. At the behest of a bossy fairy and a princess, Link investigates the cause of rot and chaos springing up in Hyrule. During his quest, he is pitched the titular instrument of the game, gaining access to the legendary Master Sword. However, when he tries to claim it, the sword seals him away in the Sacred Realm for seven years while letting in the nefarious thief king Ganondorf, who proceeds to take the Triforce of Power and screw up Hyrule. From there, Link leaps back and forth in time, striving to put right what once went wrong.

While “Ocarina of Time” takes story elements and some progression structure from “The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past,” what makes it particularly notable is its successful implementation into a 3D environment, as well as its world building and character design. Hyrule may now feel like a jaunty sprint through a park compared to the massive expansion in “The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild,” but it’s still a lively park! There’s a time system as well as the dual worlds present in the past and future, packed full of both critical and non-critical tasks to accomplish. Alongside Hylians are species like the forest elf Kokiri, rock-eating Gorons, the oddly aesthetically-pleasing reverse merfolk Zora, and a nearly all female race of hardy desert warriors known as the Gerudo. With a wide variety of temperaments, schedules, and cultures, Hyrule truly feels like a lively place—definitely not something you want to see flush with destruction and ReDeads.

Nintendo can say those ReDeads aren’t zombies all they want. Try to tell that to your baby brain when it pops into future Hyrule Kingdom for the first time.

As Link, your primary tasks are to flush out dungeons. At first, it’s to collect three magical gemstones so you can get past a magic door. Then, it’s to wake up a bunch of sages so they can help you kick Ganondorf’s butt. Then, it’s to actually get around to kicking Ganondorf’s butt. Along the way, you are encouraged to play mini-games and solve the problems of NPCs in order to net precious items like extra health, more ammunition for your weaponry, and even a horse. And let me tell you—that horse is still impressively animated. Enough to piss off my dogs, anyway.

Actually, for this game’s time, a lot of the animations are still pretty solid. Some of them can be pretty funky, particularly with dancing, but there’s a good variety of action going on. Feel free to compare and contrast its quirks with “Resident Evil 2”’s hip popping and head shaking. It’s not afraid to experiment with trailing hair, tendrils, or water, either. That effort is nice to see, especially at the early part of an era afraid to play around with such details.

The music for this game is solid as well. Which, I guess it better be, for a game about an ultra-powerful musical instrument. There are twelve songs for your ocarina with mystic powers, but you can also screw around with the instrument to play your own tunes, too. The main motif for “The Legend of Zelda”’s series isn’t the strongest version in this game, but it’s hard to knock how much the game can pop off or creep out with its soundtrack. I’d even say it’s hard to pick a favorite song from the game! Although, for me, it might be the theme to the Forest Temple. That really creeped me out as a kid, but in a cool way.

Which brings me to one of two reasons I purposefully hunted down “Ocarina of Time” version 1.0.

So, there’s contraband music from “The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time.” I actually never knew about that until I got to college and a friend popped in the game and I heard it in real time. (Times before YouTube and the mass spread of information on this game were magical, kids.) The point of controversy is that a vocal sample from the original “Fire Temple” theme is actually taken from an Islamic prayer. I’ve seen some commentary indicating that it was from a stock effect library (much like the generic pot smashing noise). Both it and Islamic symbols used by the Gerudo tribe (a crescent moon with a star) were removed in later versions of the game.

Is something lost by its subtraction? Well, it’s kind of one of those things where my WASP-y opinion really shouldn’t be considered on it. Just because I think it’s cool for “Castlevania” characters to whip crosses, rosaries, and bibles at monsters doesn’t mean that other people would be so lax about their faith’s imagery and core principles being chucked around so casually. Still, the lack of Arabian fantasy post-2001 is a huge loss in global media, particularly with how large it was in the 1990s. The inclusion of different faiths and cultures in media can result in spread knowledge and empathy when executed with a kind heart and a clear mind. In our era, we need this. But, we also need it done correctly, so it’s for the best that the game was tidied up in this aspect.

Sweeping up the blood, though? Totally unnecessary and uncool.

“Ocarina of Time” should have been to the ESRB what “Gremlins” and “Raiders of the Lost Ark” were to the MPAA. When the game decides to go creepy, it goes hard. I mean, your first boss is an insect-like parasite that crawls out of the shadows to try and kick your keister when all you’ve got is a knife, a shield, some sticks, and a slingshot. There are ghosts, spiders with skulls for torsos, half spider-Hylian abominations (and no, not in the centaur way), the aforementioned ReDeads, disembodied hands that drag you out of dungeons, torture chambers, a dungeon basement that looks like a decapitated body, a decapitated body and limbs fighting you as a boss—must I go on? This game can be quite frightening!

But, for a certain age, it’s the right kind of scary. Like, my sister and I were both nine and twelve when we played this game. We came away with a proper mix of fear and courage over adversity. Like, I suppose this game should have been “T”, but it really is best for people between Link’s ages in game. Kids need a little fear in their lives—especially, the kind of fear that they can conquer. Facing adversity builds character and resolve!

Speaking of character—I really love this game’s incarnation of Zelda. Like, it’s hard for me to pick another Zelda greater than her. (At the risk of spoilers, I think “Wind Waker”’s Zelda was cool when she wasn’t sitting in an underwater basement. I also really got attached to “Breath of the Wild”’s Zelda in terms of struggling with duty, her father, her spirituality, and utilizing technology.) It’s a crying shame that almost nobody can organically see her twist post “Super Smash Bros Melee.” But, to skirt around it without spoiling her as best as I can, I appreciate how active she was. When she was a baby, she was a little schemer. As an adult? Once you find her, it feels like she’s been fighting alongside you the entire time. Just a cool gal. I mean, yeah, you still have to rescue her at the end, but she gives you the tools to do just that.

Is the game perfect? Is anything? I did have some clipping issues, but the game at least had the decency to throw me into my destination successfully. Early on, the game holds your hand way too much. I also was affected by a bug with Deku Nuts and one hard lock, but it wasn’t something I couldn’t work around. The ending is a little gonzo in terms of closing loops, but I don’t think it’s enough to deter someone from working towards it. What caused me the most frustration in the game had to do with parts that are essentially unnecessary. Fishing took me forever to successfully accomplish as an adult, so that hurt after a while. Bombchu Bowling is also a test in patience/frustration. But, I managed to plow through both mini games and get the prizes I needed out of them.

I also managed to get past the stealth segments on my own like a big girl! Which, if you know how much of a putz I am in a video game in terms of drawing aggro, is a miracle!  

It was nice to come back to “Ocarina of Time.” Even if I couldn’t play through it again with my sister, I could at least send her screenshots of my dogs freaking out at Epona. I felt stupidly accomplished for beating the baby game on my own. (Especially with no deaths!) Like, I know I’ve been through the game before, but it had been so long that I’d forgotten how to run it! All I had were scraps of memories like “Get the lady her chickens back. No, I don’t know what I get out of it! Just do it!”

So, I guess what I’m saying is:

If you have any interest in Nintendo products, you should probably play “The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time” at least once.

If you have played “Ocarina of Time” recently, give it at least a decade and a half, and the game will feel brand spankin’ new.

Get the lady her chickens back. (She gives you a bottle, which is about the equivalent of giving you an extra life, if you know what to do with it.)

[the-professor-of-gallifrey]

Fi Is Dead?

Hey, theory for discussion, and yes, this will happen again. I have lots of theories I would love to share with everyone.

As we all know, in Skyward Sword, Fi is the spirit of the Master Sword. The very sword that helps Link in all of his many adventures in the games.

However, in the Wind Waker, the Master Sword LOSES its power and Link has to go through two temples to restore that power.

Let’s think about this...The Master Sword, which houses the spirit of Fi, is dead. It no longer holds the power to repel evil. Why is that? This hasn’t happened in any of the other games, at least, not to my knowledge. I will admit that I have only played 14 of the games and only beaten 10 of them, so I could easily be missing more information.

Some people might say that its because the Kingdom of Hyrule was sealed at the bottom of the Great Sea. But remember the Temples? With Medli and Makar? Yeah, they are the Sages that power the Master Sword. They are Sages that inherited their power from their ancestors. Which means that the power had left the Master Sword long before the events of the Wind Waker and had to be powered by the Sage of the Earth and Wind Temples (Laruto and Fado). Let’s not forget that the Earth and Wind Temples also had entrances below the Great Sea. The entrances were destroyed by Ganon and that is why Link had to access them from the islands on the Great Sea. This means that the Sages were there powering the sword long before Hyrule was flooded.

My theory is this. Fi actually DIED. Who knows when. Maybe it was when the Princess (Hylia, Fi’s master/creator) stopped recognizing herself as Princess of Hyrule and didn’t have the power of the Triforce of Wisdom. Maybe it was when Hyrule was sealed away. Maybe it happened before King Daphnes Nohansen Hyrule was even born. I don’t know when or how it happened, but the point it, IT HAPPENED.

Fi died and that is why the Sage of the Earth and Wind have to power the Master Sword. When she died, the power left the Master Sword.

Now, I know we have no reason to believe that Fi actually helps to power the Master Sword. As far as we can tell, she is just the spirit of the Sword, meant to guide the hero when needed and to tell us when our Wii Remote batteries are low. But is it actually possible for her to live forever in the sword? Or was her going ‘back to sleep’ with the Sword really just code for going back to power it after you spend so much time turning the Goddess Sword into the Master Sword?

One question this brings up is why did the sword only die in Wind Waker? Well, let’s think about this. When you look at the Zelda Timeline, it splits into three. But how much time passes in each timeline? Wind Waker takes place in the Adult Timeline, centuries after the end of the Ocarina of Time. I think, if you look at the timeline in parallel, the events of the other timelines would happen before the events that lead up to Wind Waker. As in, the sword wouldn’t be dead in the other timelines, because it took so many centuries for it to die in Wind Waker.

Let’s actually look at the timeline of Wind Waker. We know it takes centuries to get to the events that lead up to the game, so few hundred years there. Then we have Ganon escaping, killing the Sages, and then the Kingdom getting flooded. Now, with the flood, we have to move as much of the Kingdom to the tops of mountains as possible. Then we have to actually flood the kingdom. Then allow for the Zora to become Rito and the Kokiri to become Koroks. Then, we have to add in the time for the story of the old Kingdom to be forgotten and the events in Ocarina of Time to become legend. Legend that is only spoken of pretty much on Outset when a boy comes of age. That’s easily at least 1,000 years, mostly so that the Zora and Kokiri can change. Enough time for a spirit in a sword to die.

Basic summary: Lots of time passed. That time made Fi die. To power the Master Sword, they used the Sages of the Earth and Wind temples, who were Zora and Kokiri. Ganondorf breaks out of the Sacred Realm, put there in the Ocarina of Time. Kills the Sages and plans on destroying Hyrule as usual. Instead, the Kingdom is flooded and he is sealed away again. More time passes until the kingdom is forgotten/passed into legend. During this time, the Master Sword’s power fades away again. Then the events of Wind Waker, where Medli and Makar restore power/life to the Master Sword (temporarily) and Link kills Ganon.

Of course, if some of the theories about the origin of Ghirahim are to be believed, that puts a whole other spin on the situation, but that is a conversation for another day.

[xx-ingie-xx]

Forgotten Excerpt

My writer’s block finally lifted! Hooray! Since last Saturday I’ve been spending almost all my free time working on the next chapter, and it would be posted by now if it wasn’t so looong. I was hoping I could finish editing it today, but I might need more time. It’s a lot of content. So here’s an excerpt in the meantime. :D

Edit: Just realized I should have posted something Mother’s Day related today... oops. >_< SOMEDAY I WILL BE ON TOP OF THESE THINGS. T_T

(To give some context, Link, Zelda, and Shayne (though he’s not in this scene) went to visit the forest, and Link is leading her through the Lost Woods.)

----

“How do you know your way around here so well?” Zelda spoke, free to ask such questions in Shayne’s absence.

“I’m immune to the enchantment,” Link answered simply. “Like the Kokiri, I am blessed with the Deku Tree’s protection.”

“And that’s how you know your way around?”

Link gave a quiet laugh. “No. I know these Woods because I explored them as a boy. I discovered many interesting places, and I visited them often.”

Zelda fell quiet, wondering if he had sought refuge away from the village, where he never truly fit in. She had done something similar, back when she explored the castle as a girl.

To think that was nearly twenty years ago, she thought to herself. It feels like yesterday.

“I can understand the lure of exploration,” she told Link. “When I was a child I wanted to discover every inch of the castle.”

“I remember,” he replied, turning to her with a smile. “You showed me many unknown places in the castle. And I returned the favor here.”

Zelda returned his smile, but inside she felt another tug of sadness, a desire to remember the boy with whom she had shared such adventures… the boy she had grown to love.

“We’re here.”

Her thoughts faded as Link led her to the edge of what looked like a deep ravine. Below them lay a massive pool of perfectly clear water, disturbed only by a tall, narrow waterfall. It’s glassy surface seemed to dance in the sunlight which shone through a gap in the trees. The surrounding bank was mostly rock and pebbles, but beyond it lay a bed of lush green grass. Flowers of countless shapes and sizes colored the area, growing in bright patches among the grass, adorning vines, and sprouting from small blossoming trees.

“It’s beautiful,” Zelda breathed, letting Link take her hand as he led her down to the water’s edge.

“We used to come here all the time,” he said as they sat on a moss ridden log. “The water is quite warm, perfect for swimming. And it’s beautiful by night as well—especially a moonlit night. Certain flowers and mushrooms glow in the dark—you can see them everywhere. And when the fireflies gather… it’s quite a sight to behold. If you’re lucky, you might even see a fairy or two pass by.”

A blush warmed Zelda’s face as she realized how very romantic the place was. Just what sort of memories had they shared there? Was that why he had brought her there?

Stop jumping to conclusions, her practical side scolded her. He just wanted to show you a beautiful place.

Zelda tried not to dwell on such thoughts, focusing instead on the soothing rush of the waterfall and the birds singing in the treetops.

“I was quite wrong about this place,” she told Link. “It’s so lovely, even despite its dangerous enchantment, and it feels very peaceful here… It makes the troubles of the world seem small and far away.”

Link nodded, his eyes fixed on the lake. “Yes... it does.” He turned to her then, studying her profile. “So, how do you like my old house?”

Zelda gave a small laugh. “Very charming. But so humble, compared to your life now. Did you ever dream that you would one day become King of Hyrule?”

Link gave a halfhearted laugh of his own. “Certainly not. Though I did often dream about… visiting the castle.”

“You pursued your dream and realized it—to say the least,” Zelda said cheerfully. “Your story is as encouraging as it is extraordinary.”

Link looked away then, noticeably saddened by her words, and immediately she regretted them.

“I’m sorry,” she said gently. “I don’t know enough to say such a thing…”

He waved a dismissive hand. “Don’t worry about it. What else did you two talk about?”

Zelda thought a minute. “She told me how you came into her care, how she raised you… and how you left the forest when you were only ten years old. It’s quite remarkable, but… you were so young to be on your own. Did no one else look after you?”

“I had friends outside of the forest,” Link replied. “People I could go to if I needed them. And I could always come back here. In truth, though, I spent a lot of time with you over the next two years. My education here was rather lacking, to say the least, and you became a sort of tutor to me. We were both quite young, but you’ve always been very intelligent. You taught me a lot—history, language, grammar. We had daily lessons, and I enjoyed them immensely, as did you.

“Eventually, though, I grew restless,” Link admitted, “and I went off to explore the kingdoms beyond Hyrule’s border. My travels taught me a great deal about the world, and I did enjoy them, but… I missed Hyrule. And I missed you,” he added softly.

Zelda dropped her gaze to her hands, feeling her heart flutter with nerves. She tried to remember that Link spoke of the past, and that he wasn’t pressing any feelings upon her, but it flustered her nonetheless.

“I didn’t travel for two years straight,” Link told her. “I came back to Hyrule each spring—to visit you on your birthday. When I was fourteen, I discovered that your betrothed had finally taken an interest in you, and you were quite taken with him. Suddenly I felt… unwanted there. You were always kind to me, but you were engaged. Our friendship had become… inappropriate.”

Zelda recalled their conversation in her chamber the previous night, remembering that her infatuation with her fiance had lasted three years. Had Link pined for her all that time, burdened with unrequited love?

“I was lost again… for a while,” Link’s quiet voice brought her back to the present. “But I didn’t want to leave Hyrule, so I took up work at Lon Lon Ranch. Talon and his daughter were kind and welcoming people, but the work didn’t suit me. There was plenty to do, but… I wanted to be part of something… larger. I needed a new kind of challenge, and I wanted to stay close to the castle—and to you,” he added softly. “So I pursued the only path that made sense to me.”

“To enlist in the army,” Zelda said quietly.

Link nodded. “I was too young, though. I had the skills to be a good soldier, but mentally… I wasn’t ready for the horrors of war.”

A rush of compassion swept through Zelda, and she nearly reached out to touch his shoulder, but then Link turned to give her a sheepish smile.

“Enough about me. I’ve been meaning to ask you—did Saria say anything about… your amnesia?”

Zelda looked away, remembering the anguish in Saria’s face as she begged her to recover her past, to become the Zelda Link knew and loved.

Link watched her closely, noticing her discomfort.

“She made a plea for my sake,” he said. “Didn’t she.”

His voice lacked any inquisitive tone, as he apparently knew the answer. Zelda bowed her head, unsure what to say.

“She… She asked that I try to regain my memories; that’s all.”

Link sighed quietly, but Zelda could not recognize the cause. Embarrassment? Sympathy? Longing?

“That must have been uncomfortable for you,” he said quietly. “I’m sorry. Please don’t hold it against her… She’s only looking out for me.”

“I know,” Zelda said quickly. “Any good mother would do the same, I’m sure—or even a friend... And it was a perfectly reasonable request—”

“Zelda.”

I turned when Link took my hand in both of his, reluctantly meeting his gaze.

“If you do try to regain your memories,” he said, his blue eyes gazing into mine, “then it must be of your own choosing. Don’t do it for my sake, or Saria’s, or anyone else’s. No one can force you to act against your will.”

His words swept through her with strong reassurance, but the feeling soon passed, and the weight in Zelda’s chest remained.

“But surely you want me to remember,” she whispered, looking at him sadly. “More than anything…”

Link studied her a moment, then lowered his gaze and withdrew his hands.

“I can’t say what feelings I have… or will have for the woman you are now,” he admitted slowly, “but I do respect you, and I will respect whatever decision you make—even if it hurts me. As I’ve said before, I ask only that you be a mother to Shayne, and he doesn’t need your memories.”

“I would hate to have you resent me...”

“If I do,” he said softly, meeting her troubled gaze, “then it would be my failing, not yours.”

Zelda gazed back at him, stunned by his selfless words—and his apparent sincerity. She wanted to return his consideration, to assure him that she did not oppose the idea of regaining her memories, but somehow the words stuck in her throat.

“Maybe it was a mistake to bring you here so soon,” Link murmured. “I didn’t mean to overwhelm you.”

“No, I asked to come here. Thank you for sharing this with me... and for being so understanding.”

"Friends do that much for each other,” he replied. “I hope you’ll at least consider me that.”

Zelda smiled. “I certainly don’t consider you an enemy.”

Link gave a short laugh. “Well, that’s a relief. Not the response I hoped for, but I’ll take it.”

Despite his playful tone, Zelda couldn’t help but wonder if she hurt him when she kept her distance in that way. Before she could figure him out, however, Link rose to his feet and offered his hand.

“Come on,” he said. “Let’s head back.”

[luminisvii]

So it’s pretty late right now and I’m liberally using the Bold function, but let’s talk about bad fanfiction.

Usually the first thing that springs to mind when it comes to bad fanfiction is My Immortal. Anyone who’s talked to me for more than five minutes knows that My Immortal is undoubtedly one of my favorite pieces of literature. And that’s not a joke, I think it’s an absolute masterpiece of bad. The misspellings, the reworkings of the characters to be goth/scene in an incredibly middle school way, to Marty McFly’s cameo to the chapter written by a self proclaimed troll--It’s a perfect storm of bad literature that makes for a hilarious read. I won’t get into a huge tangent but what makes My Immortal so funny is it has a certain level of naturalness to its writing where you’re never quite sure how serious the author is. The true joke is the mystery. We’ll never know who wrote the infamous fic and how serious they were when they did.

However, My Immortal is kind of scratching the surface. See, that’s a fic that’s actually funny bad. Most bad fanfiction is bad bad. Today, I intend to discuss the lesser known fanfic that I rank as being one of the most difficult reading experiences I ever had, and I only successfully pulled through after many years thanks to the love and support of my friends and us reading it out loud at 4 AM.

That fanfic is known as My Inner Life. Don’t let the title fool you, it was written well before our favorite goff showcase and it’s honestly a whole lot worse. This Legend of Zelda fic, written by one Jen and based on her dreams, features a young lady named Jenna who is a simple merchant traveling in Hyrule when one Link catches her eye and it goes downhill from there. The short version is that there’s a lot of overly dramatic sex, tedious clothes descriptions that include too many triforces, poor treatment of horses, Jenna getting praised and lavished with attention for no reason, and no research put into the lore.  After a while it straight up forgets about being an Ocarina of Time fanfic and launches off into some nonsense about griffins and an evil lord I can’t actually remember the name of (It was very late and I was very tired so I called him Lord Asshole after a while, it has the same effect) and also that The Griffins, who live just beyond the Black Mountains, do not trust easily.

If you wish to read it, you should probably quit now, but if you are too weak (which is honestly understandable) here’s my recounting of the story.

Where to start is a little bit hard, but a good place is the insane 2,000 word author’s note at the beginning. Jen, seemingly unaware of how thin skinned she’s being, goes on about how anyone who leaves her a negative review is being is immature and thin-skinned. Here’s a delightful excerpt that shows the author’s view on all of this!

“Also as a side note, I NEVER physically hurt ANYONE with this story. I got one reviewer that said. “Oh God please stop writing, your hurting everyone.” Now I want to know where I physically touched that person. I want to know how I’m twisting anyone’s arms to read this. I have never done anything of the sort in any way, shape or form and I DO NOT appreciate being accused of that! If you’re emotionally hurt over this, its your fault not mine.”

She spends quite a bit of time talking about how reviewers need to be more mature as she dedicates that much time to complaining about negative reviews and methodically rebuking everything they say from her poor grammar to Jenna being a Mary Sue. Now, props to the author for straight up saying that Jenna is the obvious author avatar that she is--Jenna is simply the dream persona of Jen, which okay, fine, that is not that bad. It’s what happens with Jenna that really makes me want to drink.

The other majorly telling factor is the first line of the story itself.

“Dreams come in many forms. Some good, some bad, some very realistic, even ones that feels very real.”

You may have noticed a redundancy there. That is only the beginning. If you get tired of hearing about the same things repeatedly, you will be VERY tired very quickly in here. Jen likes to constantly explain things to the point where she has footnotes in the story, and just after citing a footnote she explains what was cited in text anyway so now you have a double explanation.

“A tale of love, passion, despair and hope. I enjoyed my inner life. I looked forward to going to sleep to it every night. And I look forward to ones that will come, because LOVE WILL NEVER DIE.”

I love quoting that. I’m also not sleeping so I guess I don’t know the meaning of true love.

Anything beyond this point is where I start to die because I actually grew up playing Ocarina of Time and I’m quite well versed in its lore, so if you are too this is going to be about as pleasant as root canal.

Since me recounting everything in detail means we’d be here into the next year, I’m going to try to boil this down to its essence. TL;DR: Jenna meets Link and they fuck. Badly. A month later and they’re getting married so they can fuck more. This whole time you have King Hyrule who is treating a random merchant off the street better than Zelda, the Sages are just inexplicably back despite now residing in the Sacred Realm. Zelda also inherently gives up the throne because she will not marry and thus is no longer in the line of succession but this random guy from Kokiri Forest who married a random merchant is! Ruto is turned into a jealous harpy and the other sages hardly appear at all.

After they get married they go to the part where I quit the first time I started reading this fic which was the Bonding Ceremony. If getting married to a guy you met a month ago wasn’t enough, going to a monastery and getting telepathically bonded by drinking his piss sure is. Okay, it’s not JUST the piss drinking, but that was enough to make poor 2014 me stop trying and go lie down. They also fuck in front of the monks because that’s a thing straight people do, I guess.

Somewhere in there Jenna gets pregnant and has a child. She names the child Link Jr. I don’t have anything to say about that, I think it’s comedy in itself. On top of that Epona also gets pregnant so they get new horses named Midnight Star and Star Dancer. That’s not an important detail at all, my friend simply hates those horse names and I’m bringing them up on the off chance that she reads this.

Oh yeah, Dark Link is an antagonist at one point and he inexplicably talks exactly like a stereotypical villain and ties Link and Jenna up in a room and leaves them there for no reason like a small time crook leaving Batman in a cage with all his gizmos nearby. And turns out Jenna has magical powers and is from some ancient race of super people or whatever. They have to explain this over and over again in the same few paragraphs and I want to die.

Beyond all the bad sex that has tiger metaphors (Somehow Jen knows how tigers fuck) there’s the Original Material which had me crying more than the tragedy that was the remain of OoT’s story. Once we get tired of Link and Jenna’s love story and Tiger Sex, there’s suddenly an invasion from Lord Ariakas who is threatening the Griffins who live beyond the Black Mountains, just a day’s ride from Hyrule. He’s just some evil guy who threatens the Griffins, who do not trust easily, and who live near The Black Mountains. If you think redundancy is painful then prepare for the worst redundancy you’ve seen yet. I went insane when we were reading this and tallied all the times The Black Mountains are mentioned and turns out it was a whole lot less than I thought, but almost all of them happened in a short amount of time so it felt like an eternity of explaining The Black Fucking Mountains. Turns out I’m a masochist of sorts because this STILL didn’t shake me off. In order to repel Lord Arakias’ forces, Link and Jenna need to talk to the Griffins who like to make a big deal about how they don’t trust anyone as they instantly trust Jenna and let her into their royal court to give her support and magical gifts. It’s kind of incredible how Jenna does nothing and is constantly rewarded for it.

Sadly this ends in a cliffhanger, like all good terrible fanfics. But that’s a semi-coherent retelling of the actual plot. It takes way too long to explain any of these plot points in story. Characters constantly repeat themselves, there’s a bunch of small plot points I left out because we’d REALLY be here all year if we talked about this, there’s the original material where I have to give credit that she went and did this BUT ALSO DID YOU HAVE TO EXPLAIN THIS MANY TIMES WHAT THE BLACK FUCKING MOUNTAINS ARE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH

I’m not okay. Time for some deeper analysis of particularly notable parts.

The sex scenes are sadly some of the less entertaining sections. They’re pretty boring for the most part, but then you have shit like “I turned tigress” and my personal favorite, “when I took his nut sack and caressed it with my hand, it was his undoing.” That exact sentence shows up TWICE in the fic, same wording and everything. Remember this, ladies, next time you have sex with a man, caress his nut sack. It’ll be his undoing. It’s not just the silly wording, though, there’s some stupid stuff in there too about how having sex makes your children stronger and also exactly how much fluid Jenna is ejecting which is a little bit alarming to say the least. Otherwise they’re a bit bland and use the same flowery language that you’d expect from poorly written erotica. Also they fuck in front of a bunch of monks. It’s for the bonding.

If you’re into LoZ lore then you’re going to have a bad time, too. My favorite thing is showing people the segment where Jenna explains how the OoT timeskip works because it makes zero sense to everyone, OoT fan or not. Let’s take a quick history lesson for OoT if you’re not familiar with it. In Ocarina of Time, a major plot point and element of gameplay is that Link travels between past and future in a seven year gap. From Link’s point of view, the change is instantaneous, right down to the fact that his age changes from child to adult and vice versa. To everyone else, they’re living those seven years. Time continues without Link there to observe it, and in Link’s absence Hyrule collapses. Thus is the plot--trying to stop Ganondorf from destroying the future with a power that Link and Zelda accidentally gave him. The point is all Non-Link people experience time normally, and the world moves on.

Somehow Jenna missed something that I inherently understood when I was a wee child of 8, barely able to play Ocarina of Time due to poor reading comprehension and lack of Zelda Puzzle Solving Skills™.

“Gannondorf tricked the soon to be "Hero of Time" into unlocking the door to the Sacred Realm. I even noticed that Zelda was a little older then I. Last I saw her she was four years younger then me. It was told to me that when Gannondorf went into the Temple of Time and into the Scared Realm, time jumped ahead in Hyrule seven years. Yet only two years passed in my land. And in the rest of the world.

After the "Hero of Time" defeated the King of Evil, the hero was granted to either return to the past or to remain in the present time. Since he chose to remain in the present Zelda jumped ahead of me in age by four years.  It seems that everyone in Hyrule jumped in age from the rest of the world.”

I’m not sure I really understand still. I’ve read this so many times trying to comprehend and maybe I’m just stupid but this doesn’t scan. But when you time travel it should affect the whole world or else that’d be pretty fucked. Back To The Future would be pretty wack if only Hill Valley was sent back to the 50s but everywhere else was still 80s.

God, I spent too much time on this. It still hurts my brain.

I also just have to have a section where I metaphorically hand Zelda a box of chocolates and a check for 5,000 dollars for even being in this mess. The real MVP of the story is Zelda for tolerating all this bullshit. She has to watch her father treat Jenna better than her, she gives Jenna a bracelet from her mother who is dead for Jenna’s wedding, she has to passively accept that because she isn’t married she’s lost her claim to the throne and it’s being handed over to Link and Jenna because despite both of them being nobodies they’re more legitimate heirs to the throne than the king’s own daughter. She also has to be the one to help Jenna birth her baby and it’s maybe a little bit weird to have the princess of a nation be your personal midwife. Even if she is your so called best friend. Were I ever in the circumstances of giving birth, I wouldn’t make my friends help. Please get an actual nurse. Also for some reason Jenna won’t stop calling her baby a miracle and it’s done so frequently it’s a little off-putting. Even the chapter where the child is born is called “The Miracle” like idk I know life is mysterious and miraculous but I’m not sure giving birth, something a lot of cis woman can do, is a “miracle.” Me not sobbing while reading this is a miracle. Zelda, honey, you deserve so much better.

I’m running out of things that will actually last a paragraph or so tangent wise, so time to wrap things up with smaller notes:

-Jenna thinks that you boot horses in the knees to get them moving. You are probably not riding a horse right if you can kick it in the knees while sitting on its back. That’s not even getting into other horse related mishaps like the fact that kneecapping them isn’t a good idea either.

-Link Jr. is capable of math at like, four months or something. I wish I was that talented.

-Ruto is my wife and I will not stand for this slander against her. Yeah, call me a fish fucker if you want, Sidon is cute too don’t @ me

-Take a shot every time Jenna mentions triforces on her outfit (actually don’t)

-Jenna makes a big deal about how Link has to go off to war and how she’ll miss him and he’ll miss her and it’s all very emotional but he’s back literally the next chapter

-One of my favorite moments is Mido rightfully pointing out that Jenna isn’t a Kokiri and thus has no right to receive a fairy but everyone thinks he’s being super rude for actually having common sense. They barely gave LINK a fairy and he grew up there!

-I inflicted this on my friends and it went as well as you’d think it would. Quote supplied by Jen who is not THAT Jen but a far superior one

-Somewhere in the fic suddenly Link and Zelda’s eyes are capable of changing color based on mood, or maybe they could do this the whole time and my eyes were changing based on mood alright, they were glazing over and I missed it

-Jen always types “threw” instead of “through” and it’s just enough to throw me off every time. Also every time a character starts a new sentence she starts another set of quotations even if they were already talking and occasionally she misspells “huge” as “hugh” which leads to some hilarious circumstances

-THEY DRANK EACH OTHER’S PISS

-Apparently when you are telepathically bonded with your Husband/Wife you aren’t allowed to be in a room with someone of the opposite sex AT ALL. Personally I think that reeks of insecurity

-Also because a good pal loses her shit every time we mention it, Jen couldn’t come up with a marriage ceremony that wasn’t just a christian one for a universe where christianity doesn’t exist, but she sure likes to put world building into those DAMN GRIFFINS

All in All? My Inner Life is not for the weak willed. It is INCREDIBLY long and redundant and while it’s still pretty funny, it’s mostly plain terrible. I consider is a much better showcase of what bad fanfiction is actually like, and also since it’s of a more standard awful, it means people can’t badly parody it while missing the point as to why it’s funny. So at least there will only be one My Inner Life and no imitators.

Seriously, I hate My Immortal imitators. Write your own terrible fanfiction, damn you! If I had a shot for every time a fanfic was compared to My Immortal I would be dead six years ago. Getting compared to MI is not a good thing, but not for the reasons you’d think. At least My Inner Life only shares the basic premise of a self insert character and the rest is a ride of complete bullshit that’s par the course for terrible Mary Sue fiction. Everyone loves Jenna for no reason and those who voice the valid concerns against her are seen as unreasonable and stupid. Characters are bent backwards to serve the threadbare plot and apparently Jenna’s love life alone is enough to constitute half of the story before we just plain forget it’s a Legend of Zelda fanfic and it goes off into some generic high fantasy horse crap with dragons and Griffins and some evil guy like what even is his name and it all ends without any real closure.

However if you are strong enough or maybe just a masochist (me) I highly recommend this fic for just being a test of endurance and also for all the funny little moments sprinkled throughout. It’ll certainly be a waste of time and it’s a good thing to read with friends. While it’s an oldie, it’s a goodie, and no one comes out unscathed.

Also the author apparently is a good sport about it now, although who knows. It’s just a thing I heard. While I like making fun of Jen throughout reading the fic, she doesn’t seem awful. Just perhaps young and unaware.

Truly, the real treasure was the piss we drank along the way. I’m sorry I will never be over that

[potionxshop]

A very (very) long BotW theory

This is a looong post so if you don’t wanna read it please scroll really fast !

So few days after Nintendo showed this amazing BotW trailer during Nintendo Switch presentation, I watched a video made by two french youtubers (Bronol and Ico) posted on their second channel called “Team Trash” (their main channel being “Trash”) in which they exposed some of their theories regarding the upcoming loz game. I had stopped watching all these theory videos tbh but I had some time to kill and since I really enjoy these guys’ work I clicked it. And holy sh- I found it really interesting *-* In this video, they mostly talk about BotW’s spot in the timeline (which they situate after Ocarina of Time, in the “Hyrule’s decline” branch). I promised @rikzpt that I would translate it and share it with you all. It took me a long time to do so, since the video is 18:30 long ;u; Thus, I haven’t translated every sentence, I skipped some “unecessary” bits, and I apologize in advance for any typo or grammatical mistake.

↑ Here’s the original video, in case some of you want to watch it even though it’s entirely in french !

Here goes the translation ! (︶▽︶✿)

Bronol : A new Botw trailer just came out and it was amazing and full of new information. So Ico and I anlayzed it, frame by frame. We felt dumb cause we hadn’t seen it coming but Botw Link could actually be the same as in Ocarina of Time. […] So let us explain our theory.

What the Timeline says

Bronol : First there are three official timelines, Ocarina of Time has created some kind of… temporal paradox. There is a branch where Link leaves after defeating Ganon and thus leaves the people without a legendary hero. Then Ganon breaks its seal and since there’s no hero around well he just… destroys everything easy peasy which leads to Wind Waker’s world. In the second Timeline, after Link defeated Ganon, he goes back in the past then he and Zelda denounce him to Hyrule King. Ganondorf is then judged by the sages and is exlied in the Twilight Realm. [...] In this Timeline Ganondorf has never become Ganon and the line of Links could carry on. And then there’s this kinda phony third timeline, the one where Link loses against Ganon in the final battle of Ocarina of Time. Until now this timeline was pretty unclear, we could think that the sages had still sealed Ganondorf away despite Link’s death all of this was fuzzy and looked like a weird patchwork (don’t lie). Excepted that Botw could be in this timeline -as its missing link-. We tend to say that since (OoT) Link was deprived of the Master Sword at the very beginning of the battle against Ganon […], it is highly possible that Link was then killed by Ganon since he had no weapon to defend himself with. Then we could imagine that the sages somehow found a way to seal Ganon and took Link’s body to put him into stasis, since they knew they’ll need his help again, I’ll explain that later… […] Hence in BotW we would play as OoT Link after being resurrected [...] since -as we saw during this year’s E3- the first location we encounter in the game is called « The Shrine of Resurrection ». Regarding Ganon, the official chronology tells us that Zelda and the sages managed to seal him, however, despite being emprisonned in the Sacred Realm he still had the three parts of the Triforce so the sages knew that -with such power- it would only be a matter of time until he could escape from the realm. We also know that even if Link was defeated, they need him since he’s the only one who’s able to truly stop Ganon, we learnt that in Skyward Sword.

The connection with Ocarina of Time

Ico : Well it’s pretty obvious. Many elements were shown in plain view such as the Temple of Time which is exactly the same as in Ocarina of Time and what’s below this Temple ? The ruins of the former castletown, especially the huge fountain. Moreover this new Zelda game is full of references to the Sheikah tribe and please note that sentence that we read in the description of the Sheikah slate : "You've never seen this device before, and yet... there's something familiar about it." From there, to say that it is a gossip stone miniaturized thanks to new technology, there is only one step.

Let’s now talk about Calamity Ganon’s design. It’s still a spectral form but we can distinguish few things. Look at those eyes, looks at those horns, just look at this silhouette, it exactly looks like the Ganon we fight in Ocarina of Time.

Well on top of that, there’s this fairy that looks like the great fairies from OoT and MM [...], there are gerudos […] and there’s also the Great Deku Tree ! And he evens tells Link « That look on your face tells me that you have no recollection of me » why of course Link doesn’t remember him since the last time he saw him he was still in his sprout form.

What occurs in this new Zelda

Bronol : So now that we’ve talked about the similarities, what does this new trailer tell us ? First (and the royal family could expect it), Ganondorf broke the seal and has destroyed the new castletown. He had already destroyed the one in Ocarina of Time, then the hylians had rebuilt it in the meantime and he came back to destroy it again. Since the notion of time between each game is often unclear, we don’t really know how much time has passed before Ganondorf could escape from the realm. In any case, the hylians were given a sufficient amount of time to rebuild some kind of kingdom and see a new Zelda (maybe few generations) accede to the throne. Well yes while it might be the same Link as in Ocarina of Time, it doesn’t mean it has to be the same Zelda. […] Also, regarding Hyrule King’s voice that we hear in the trailer, we are almost certain that he’s in fact that old man we meet during the first minutes of our adventure, the one who acts like some kind of guide which really resembles King of Red Lions’ personality in Wind Waker, so couldn’t this be the same character but in a different universe ? (meaning different branch of the Timeline)

The Master Sword and its connection with the other games

Ico : Zelda has probably taken the sword after the battle against Ganon and has hidden it in one of the last barriers against the malevolent forces which is : the Kokiri Forest -since the Great Deku Tree has the power to push them back-.

Just a reminder : The Master Sword helped Link to defeat Ganondorf. Hence, Ganon -knowing how powerful this blade is- would obviously seek a way to destroy it completely. Thus the sword could not be replaced in the Temple of Time since this would be the first place where Ganon would look for it. This can also explain why the temple is in ruins since Ganon might have ravaged it. […] It was crucial to hide the Master Sword in a safe place since this blade is Hyrule’s only hope to defeat the king of evil for good. Now it becomes really interesting for this could also explain why the Master Sword looks so rusty. It has rusted because it does no longer benefit from the « temporal protection » dispended by the Temple of Time -since we know that this temple well… controls time-. This is why the Master Sword in TP is not rusty since it still stands in the ruins of the Temple of Time. Regarding WW, the Master Sword is still in good shape and yet we find it in Hyrule Castle, not in the Temple of Time itself. Well, since we know that the castle has been destroyed in Ocarina of Time, we could think that WW Hyrule Castle has been rebuilt around/on the former Temple of Time, leaving the sword where it belongs. All of this can also explain why we find the Master Sword in the Lost Woods in AlttP, which is a game that would take place -according to our theory- after BotW.

The races and their evolution

Bronol : About the Koroks : Ico and I believe that the Koroks are actually the Kokiris’ true original form. Okay we know that in WW, it is said that the Kokiris had to turn into Koroks in order to adapt themselves to their new surroundings. However, we encounter the same Koroks in BotW and yet the world has not been flooded as in Wind Waker. This could mean that their Kokiri appearance was actually a way to adapt themselves to a situation. Let me explain… We can notice that the world of Ocarina of Time is very « civilized », there are lots of Hylians. The Koroks would thus be well advised to modify their shape in order to look like « humans » and make the relations easier. But now that Ganon has (more or less) slaughtered the whole Hylian race, they no longer have a reason to keep their human form. They’d better go back to their original form which allows them to hide in the forest etc.

« What’s the connection with AlttP ? » you’ll ask me, since there is no Kokiri or Korok in this game, and there’s no Great Deku Tree either… Well, the answer is simple : they’ll die in BotW (lol) :) We’re pretty sure that the Great Deku Tree will die in BotW and what happens when the Great Deku Tree dies ? The Koroks/Kokiris die too, as Mido tells us in OoT (only in the french version apparently :c )

What about the other races ? First let’s talk about the goron we saw in the trailer. Well this guy looks like… every goron we know. Did you notice that the goron tribe is the only one (along with the Hylians) that doesn’t evolve throughout the ages ? As the years pass, the fewer they are. Take WW for instance which takes place a hundred years after OoT and there are only… 3 gorons left. They don’t fit in this new environment and yet they have not evolved unlike Zoras who turned into Ritos. Talking about Zoras ! We saw them in the latest BotW trailer and we know that they also appear in AlttP but the interesting thing here is that in AlttP… they’re bad guys. And take a look at their design in BoTW. We’re far from the simplistic Zora from OoT or MM, now they look like real warriors, they look like freaking sharks and all… I mean… I would not mess with them if I were you. […]

The role of the Sheikah

Ico : Okay guys, remember that this is only pure homemade theory. Here’s what could possibly happen regarding the Sheikah tribe in BotW. What if the Sheikah were the main antagonists in BotW ? What if they made an alliance with Ganon to invade the kingdom of Hyrule ? We came to that theory thanks to this lil’ guy who’s fighting against Link

[…] Let’s not forget the « Life in the ruins » trailer which starts with a Sheikah eye shedding a tear that turns into a puddle of blood (which evokes war) over which a forest will grow evoking a return to the wild. I don’t think one could make it less explicit. In Ocarina of Time, we learn that there had been a war before the beginning of the game. We don’t know who the enemy was but many theories speculate that it was the Sheikah tribe, which has then been defeated and tortured and humiliated (→ just look at all the torture devices you can find in Kakariko Village’s pit). This theory allows us to (potentially) imagine that the remaining Sheikah would have been banished from the Light World and sent into the Twilight Realm thanks to the Mirror of Twilight, thus becoming TP’s Twilis. We also know that Ganondorf’s main forces (aka the Gerudos) have switched camps and have become our allies after we showed them our badassery back in their fortress. By the end of OoT, Ganondorf had thus no remaining ally and no army and eventhough he is very powerful, it is hard to imagine that he could take over the whole kingdom without armed forces. Why not imagine that Ganondorf could have laid his hands on the Mirror of Twilight and freed the exiled Sheikah who would feel a desire for revenge and side with Ganon put the royal family at risk. That’d be cool, wouldn’t it ? […] But let’s not forget that originally the Sheikah tribe’s main purpose is to protect the royal family and the goddess Hylia, so inevitably some of them would still be on the « good side », like those that we meet in the shrines.

The story of Breath of the Wild

Bronol : Let’s sum this up. At the end of OoT, Link loses against Ganon (not Ganondorf). Despite his death, Zelda and the other sages still manage to seal Ganon away. After the battle, Link’s body is brought to some sort of sheikah sarcophagus to preserve him cause they know that Ganon will eventually come back with the whole Triforce in his possession and that it’s only a matter of time before the seal breaks. They just don’t know when it will actually break and they don’t know if a new Link would have appeared in the meantime. Hence, they prefer to keep the « old one » and resuscitate/revive him, because Ganon must be (and can only be) defeated by an incarnation of the hero.

Ico : […] Knowing that Ganon will eventually escape from the realm, Zelda has to protect the Master Sword and hides it in the last barrier against the malevolent forces, that is to say the Kokiri Forest, protected by the Great Deku Tree. Link will need this weapon to defeat Calamity Ganon. Some years pass (we don’t know how many), the kingdom is being rebuilt step by step and then Ganon comes back. However, Link is probably not ready to wake up yet (for whatever reason) so when Ganon kicks in… Link does not appear. It’s only one hundred years after that Link will finally awaken and discover a wild and completely devastated land, and will meet a new Zelda before setting off on a new adventure, helped by the princess. We can imagine that our hero, the Hero of Time, will have to awaken the sages’ descendants in order to finally seal the evil for good. And yes I said « seal » and not « kill » because this is what is said during the opening scene of AlttP. […]

Bronol : […] If you look closely, you can see that every huge 3D loz game holds a key role in the Timeline :

- Ocarina of Time is the centerpiece of the chronology

- Wind Waker, Twilight Princess and Breath of the Wild are the three junctions

- Skyward Sword is at the very beginning and relates the origins of the Timeline

And when we realized that (Ico and I) well… we were excited like kids, y’know.

Et voilà ! ᕕ(  °▽° )ᕗ ♥

[coffeeinmyveinsinkinmypen]

Breath of the Wild Timeline Theory, Part 2

Hello everyone!  Several months ago during the initial Breath of the Wild reveal, I made a theory about the game’s timeline placement.  We didn’t have a lot of information, but I made some arguments for each of the timelines, with my strongest bet going to the Downfall timeline.

Well, it’s been a LONG time, we have a LOT of new story details, and a LOT more footage.  As a Zelda nerd and history major, I’m itching to reexamine this game with fresh eyes!

I WILL BE DISCUSSING SPOILERS THAT HAVE BEEN REVEALED ABOUT THE BREATH OF THE WILD’S PLOT, SO IF YOU WANT TO APPROACH THE GAME COMPLETELY BLIND, PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS THEORY!

With that out of the way, let’s dive right in to my ridiculously long theory!

Before I share which timeline I think this game falls into, let’s establish some of the game’s backstory.

1.) Hyrule has suffered multiple attacks by Ganon.

In a recent interview with Jeuxvideo.com, Aonuma stated that a young woman’s voice tells you that Hyrule has suffered numerous attacks by Ganon.

2.) The Sheikah were an immense power within Hyrule

Through dialogue with the Old Man, we learned that the Sheikah were a technologically advanced race who saved Hyrule from danger multiple times.  Initially, we only knew that they “disappeared” from Hyrule.

Lucky for us, a tapestry that ships with the BoTW Master Edition gives a little more perspective both about the state of Hyrule, the role of the Sheikah within society...

The tapestry’s outer border is actually Sheikah.  The Zelda community was able to get a translation of these words (props to the youtuber Zeltik and his discord community).  It states that one hundred years ago, Hyrule was a land of peace and prosperity where multiple races interacted peaceably.  The Sheikah safeguarded this peace through their technological prowess, and that, for a time, Hyrule was left untouched by disaster until a cataclysmic event shattered the fragile quiet.  This is where the backstory of this game’s Link and Zelda come in...

3.) Link and Zelda attempted to seal away Calamity Ganon, but failed.

The tapestry states that the Princess and Hero attempted to seal away Ganon, but were ultimately unsuccessful.

The Sheikah, desperate to guard the land, awoke their guardians as well as Four Divine Beasts to seal Ganon away.  Rather than saving the land, however, the Guardians and Beasts were corrupted and, subsequently turned against the Hyrule.

The Sheikah, however, managed to fracture Calamity Ganon’s power and seal him away within Hyrule Castle.  The King, however, could not forgive their blunder and banished the Sheikah from the land.

So that’s what we know about the game’s backstory.  After that, we can only speculate about certain things--How Link ended up in his 100 year sleep, why the Master Sword is Broken Etc.

I’ll talk about those later, first, let’s talk about Timeline placement based upon these elements.

 First of all, let’s rule out anything before Ocarina of Time.

This is relatively easy to do.  First, we have the presence of a run down Temple of Time which looks EXACTLY like it did out of Ocarina of Time.

In addition, ruined Castletown from Breath of the Wild looks an awful lot like Castletown in Twilight Princess...

We also have the fact that Ganon didn’t come to exist until AFTER Ocarina of Time.  During Ocarina of Time’s final boss fight, Ganondorf transforms into Ganon, his gigantic, piglike form.  Prior to that moment, Ganon did not exist. 

Taking all this evidence into reason, it stands to reason that Breath of the Wild can only come AFTER Ocarina of Time.

So now we have The Downfall Timeline, Adult Timeline, and Child Timeline respectively.

While the presence of the Rito and Koroks make this game seem like it could fall in the Adult timeline, I’m not entirely convinced.

First, in BotW, we know that the Master Sword is in what seems to be the Lost Woods, stuck firmly in a pedestal.  At the end of Wind Waker, Link firmly planted the blade in Ganondorf’s skull, and the King of Hyrule subsequently wished for the land of Hyrule to be drowned beneath the waves.  So that doesn’t add up.

While I suppose it is possible for the sea to have drained and people to have come down from the mountains to repopulate Hyrule, that doesn’t explain the location of the Master Sword in BotW.  Only the Hero or (as we see on BotW’s box art) Zelda can touch or move the blade.  Link and Zelda’s descendants are far away from Old Hyrule by now, living in New Hyrule.  Therefore, the Master Sword would stay stuck in Ganon’s head.

The game could be pre-Wind Waker, but the Legend of the Flood states that when the people prayed for the Hero to come save him, he never appeared.  As a result, the Gods drowned Hyrule beneath the waves to seal Ganondorf away.

So what explains the presence of the Rito and Koroks?  I’ve read theories stating that the Koroks COULD be the natural form of the Kokiri, rather than an evolutionary form.  Therefore, they could exist in both the Downfall and Child Timelines.  

One might say that by that reasoning, it is possible that the Rito could exist in any other timeline as well.  In BotW’s Switch trailer, we see both the Rito and the Zora existing simultaneously.  It is possible for a species to evolve separate from its original form.  It is possible that the Rito are simply the result of a group of Zora branching off the sea/river.

In addition, we have Aonuma’s hint that Hyrule was attacked numerous times in BotW by Ganon.  The Adult timeline has two attacks: one when Ganon seeped forth from the seal, the second when he attacked the Great Sea.  Not exactly a lot of attacks.

What about the Child Timeline?

Again, the Child Timeline has suffered, at most, two attacks by Ganon.  One in Twilight Princess, and another in Four Swords.  Not exactly a lot of attacks.

Next, we, again, have the placement of the Master Sword.  In Twilight Princess, the Master Sword is located in the ruins of the Temple of Time from Ocarina of Time.

The Temple of Time in Breath of the Wild (which is implied to be the one from Ocarina of Time) lacks the Master Sword.  Instead, the Master Sword is in a pedestal located in what we can infer is the Lost Woods.

I suppose one can make the argument that Link simply moved the Master Sword to the Lost Woods later on, but the end of Twilight Princess seems to imply that Link never touched the Master Sword again after placing it back into the pedestal.

So why does the game’s Castletown look so similar to that of Twilight Princess’s?  Maybe it’s possible that some Timelines can share aspects of the others--like the Rito, Koroks, etc.

Still, can I one hundred percent rule out the Child Timeline?  No.  But it seems unlikely to me.

Next, we’ve got our last and most likely candidate, the Downfall timeline.

First of all, let’s knock the “multiple attacks by Ganon” requirement out.  If Breath of the Wild takes place at the end of the Downfall Timeline, we have Ganon attacking Hyrule at the start of the timeline after reemerging from the Seven Sages’ seal (then resealed by the Knights of Hyrule), then in A Link to the Past, then in the Oracle Games, then A Link Between Worlds, and the original Legend of Zelda.  So we have a grand total of about five attacks.  That’s quite a few!

Next the location of the Master Sword.  So, in Breath of the Wild, we have the Master Sword, resting in a pedestal with three flowers growing beside it in what we can assume is the Lost Woods...

Oh, this looks familiar... like... maybe in A Link to the Past?

So the location of the Master Sword is a go.

In addition, the Old Man describes Hyrule as “in a state of decline” due to Ganon’s multiple incursions.  We’ve heard this term used in the Official Zelda timeline...

The Downfall Timeline is specifically called “Hyrule’s Decline.”  The era of the first Legend of Zelda is even called “The Era of Decline.”  I don’t think this use of similar language is a coincidence.

Further, we also have the Zelda team drawing a LOT of similarities between BotW and the original Legend of Zelda, from the similarity in the Japanese logo designs, to the similarities in Link’s designs (both long sideburns), and also this iconic piece of art... 

And this new official art...

There’s a LOT pointing to the Downfall timeline.

Do I know where IN the Downfall timeline this could be?  No--I don’t have enough information for that.  But I do think that this is the most suitable timeline for BotW.

So now that I’ve got my timeline theory down, you may ask this question--Who is Link?  What’s his story?

I have a small theory on that as well.

So, let’s talk about what we know about this world’s Link and Zelda, beyond their failure to seal Calamity Ganon.  We know that the two of them have a fairly close relationship.  In the recent “Guard. In this Destiny” trailer, we see Link accompanying Zelda, always close at hand.

In one cutscene, we even have him guarding her from some unknown foe--

Link doesn’t have the Sheikah slate, Zelda does, meaning that these are most likely scenes that take place in the past.

We know that Link was someone important in Ancient Hyrule.  The Champion’s Shirt he wears (which coincidentally matches Zelda’s clothing rather well) can only be worn by those who earned the respect of the Hylian Royal Family.

From his willingness to protect her, his closeness, as well as the sort of submissive following behind we have in the first picture, I think that Link was Zelda’s bodyguard.  He was a fully realized Hero, recognized by the Master Sword, and so, was assigned to guard Zelda.

Their relationship, however, seems to extend further beyond bodyguard and charge, as we see him comfort her in the wake of what I assume is Hyrule’s fall--

They’re close--that much is obvious.

Now that we’ve established this relationship, let’s talk about Zelda.

We know that she and Link attempted to save Hyrule, but ultimately failed.  But what did she do to try and save Hyrule?

We get a hint in the trailer with a few scenes.  The first, depicting Zelda bathing in a Spring--

And then a shot of Zelda’s white clothes--

Well... doesn’t this look familiar?

How about... The sacred springs from Skyward Sword that Zelda bathed in to regain the powers and memory of the Goddess Hylia

And Zelda’s Goddess clothes

I think that, in order to save Hyrule, Zelda attempted to regain the powers of the Goddess Hylia by bathing in each of the Sacred Springs.  On the journey, Link accompanied her as her guard.  When she finished the tasks, she and Link attempted to seal Calamity Ganon, and either the strength Zelda gained was not enough to overcome Ganon, or she failed in gaining the Goddess’s power at all.

Either way, the Guardians attacked shortly after their failure and Link and Zelda are forced to flee.  The two of them run from the Guardians.  Eventually, however, Zelda is unable to keep up and falls behind...

Unable to leave her behind, Link stands and attempts to defend her from the guardians, but it isn’t enough.  He’s seriously wounded.

Still, he tries to defend her but...

Link dies, or is seriously wounded.  Zelda draws on the power she gained from her time as a Goddess and dispatches the last Guardian.

But it’s too late, Link is already gone.

She gives his body to the Sheikah to place into stasis in the Shrine of Resurrection, places the Master Sword in the Lost Woods for the Great Deku Tree to guard, then goes off on her own.  Where she goes for the next one hundred years, I do not know.  Maybe she’s in stasis, maybe she’s the seal holding Ganon within the castle.

That’s what I think happened 100 years ago.  But we’ll see if I’m right in the end.  I’ve heard some people guess at this same thing.

I’m excited for the game to come out and to explore this new world of Hyrule!  I hope you all enjoyed reading my thoughts, however long they were!

See ya’ll March 3rd!

[the-lady-mienshao]

My Inner Life Part 12: Labor Pains in the Ass (Happy Valentine’s Day!)

It’s been a while since we stepped into this distorted kingdom that’s called “Hyrule” now hasn’t it? Not that some of you may remember it...

Anywho, when we last left off Jenna angsted over Link being sent off to fight in the Five Paragraph War (which was resolved with the Treaty of Deus ex Machina) and stood by Link getting Hyrule’s Medal of Honor as those who were glossed over wished a fiery death upon them.

I do not own My Inner Life (not that I would want to in the first place) nor the Legend of Zelda series.

When we arrived back home all of the Kokiri were there to greet us along with or fairies Lilly and Navi. “Your finally home. I missed you Link.” Navi squealed as she flew over to him. (Hey wait, if Navi is Link’s personal fairy why didn’t she accompany him to war?) “You were really missed.” As she flew around him her blue aura brightened. “I missed you too Navi.” Link said as he smiled at her. “Jen and I really missed you to.” Lilly said as she flew in front of me. “Link, hey LINK!” (Oh God! OoT flashbacks!!! DX)

A girls voice called from behind the crowd. Then Saria came running through the crowd and up to him. “I missed you a lot too Link.” “How are you?” Saria said as her eyes lit up at the sight of him. “Were soo glad your home.” “Jen spent a lot of time with us while you were away.” (”Getting lit.”) Just then something caught her eye. “What is that on your uniform?” Saria asked as she gently fingered the pin on Link’s uniform. (Saria! Not in front of everyone else!) “It’s called the “Triforce of Valor.” “The King awarded this to me for my bravery in the field of battle.” Link said with pride. (”And because I also slipped 50 rupees to him”) A loud “WOW” came from the crowd as Link showed everyone. (Jenna must’ve held up a cue card that said something like “Say ‘wow’ or I will end you all”...) “Oh Link, that is soo wonderful.” “You must be so proud of him.” Saria said as she looked at me. “Yes I am, but I’m just glad to have him home again.” I said blushing. Then we had a small celebration to celebrate Link’s return home. (While all the hippy Kokiri stand aside, protesting for peace)

We had a small feast, then we danced and drank. (You’re not supposed to drink while pregnant!) Then around Midnight everyone went home, (bullshit!) and Link and I were left alone. We told Lilly and Navi that we were going to the pond out back to have a swim. The night air was warm, perfect for swimming. We went to our special little pond. (YOUR special pond?!?) Once there we took off our clothes and went into the cool water. We splashed and played around in the water for awhile. The I looked into Link’s eyes. They were glowing under the moonlight. (”Link is not here...”) I went into his arms, and felt his body against mine. Then he gently pressed his lips on mine kissing me deeply. It had been such a long time since we kissed like this. (Yeah five paragraphs is a long time to go without playing tonsil hockey with your captive husband) We kissed even deeper, our tongues finding their ways into each other’s mouth. I felt his hands caressing my body, felt the connection between us growing stronger. I ran my hands down his back as he moved his lips to my neck. I felt his heart beginning to beat faster, heard his thoughts in my mind. (”That prostitute I got was so much better than this...”)

I wanted him soo bad. Wanted to feel him. It had been such a long time since we made love. I whispered in his ear that I wanted him. That I wanted to feel him. And I heard him in my mind, heard him say that he wanted me too. I felt the heat of our bodies, felt his hands touching me, felt them caressing my body. I started to breath faster, as my heart was beating in unison with his. Then I felt him quivering (from drug withdrawal?) against me, as he slowly penetrated my awaiting body. (Of course... more sex...) The intensity of it raced through my body, raced through my bones. It had been a long time since I felt this feeling. As we made love, I felt our connection become full. (Okay please don’t use the term “full” like that ever again) I felt as if our bodies merged. We became as one. (Okay now you’re just re-using phrases from other chapters!) Even more so when we both came to a full climax. I screamed out his name as I felt him release his essence deep inside me. (*random Kokiri steps out onto porch* “SHADDUP!”)

Then I put my lips to his long, sexy pointed ear and whispered words of passion to him, (”You know what to do with that big fat butt~”) before sweetly licking and nibbling on it. (Oh God I just made that line even worse...) I heard him moaning softly as I caressed his ear with my lips and his body with my hands. I was so glad to finally be in his arms again, to be able to feel him. I had longed for this day; Longed to make love to him. Now my dreams had come true. He was finally home.

The next few days were hard on me, the dizziness became horrid and I started to feel sick. (Welcome to our world) It got so bad that I had to rest in bed. Then came the false labor. The pains were so intense that I felt as if my whole body was in a vise. I couldn’t get up out of bed without the pains making me feel like falling over. Link had to care for me. (Like he hasn’t been doing enough of that in this story) I ate all of my meals in bed. And when it was time to bathe Link had to help me to the tub to wash me. It was hard. I felt helpless. (Admit it. You enjoy it...) But Link had told me that he was glad to care for me. I was going to give birth to our baby any day now. And he did not want to see me or the baby get hurt. Then a few nights later it happened. (DUN DUN DUN!)

I woke up and rustled Link awake. “Link honey wake up, its time!” I was going into labor. (Are you sure? Did your water break? Are your contractions a minute apart?) “Grumble.” “Go back to sleep.” Link said as he rolled over. (I think that just speaks for itself...) Then I shook him again. “Link, WAKE UP .....I’m going into labor!” I cried as I shook him. “Wha, What?!” “Oh my Goddesses, its time!” (Oh now you realize the gravity of the situation!) He jumped out of bed, grabbed his robe and went to get Navi and Lilly. As he opened the door, I heard him calling for our fairies. “LILLY, NAVI come quickly!” (Like the fairies know anything about human childbirth!) Link cried. “What is the matter?” Navi asked. “Navi, you and Lilly must fly to the castle quickly, fetch Princess Zelda and the healer!” (Just go get the Ocarina of Time from the closet and teleport yourselves to the Temple of Time!) “Jenna’s going into labor, it’s time!” “And please make haste.” Link cried in urgency. “Lilly hurry, we must go!” Navi screeched. Then Lilly and Navi flew off to fetch Princess Zelda and the healer. (What does Zelda know about birthing?!?)

I didn’t have long. The baby was on its way. I felt the contractions become less spaced apart. I hoped that Lilly and Navi would bring the healer here quickly. (Well it takes an entire day to get across Hyrule Field so it’s going to be some time. Especially since they don’t have the Ocarina of Time...) I tried to hold the baby back, but that was no longer any good after my water broke. “I cannot hold the baby back any longer, Link!” “My water just broke!” “One way or another this baby is coming.” (Damn right) I cried as my breathing became labored. “Just hang in there my love, Lilly and Navi will be back soon with Princess Zelda and the healer.” (Actually they just got eaten by Kaepora Gaebora) Link was getting more concerned with each passing minute. Then a horse came plodding up to the front of the house and I heard voices. “Oh...my Goddesses.....they’re.....finally here!” I said in between gasps of breath. Link ran out the door to hurry them along. Then a minute later he came back with the healer followed by Princess Zelda. “Princess, go get some pillows and blankets!” “And be quick about it.” (So now Zelda’s been reduced to the midwife’s apprentice. Oh how the mighty have fallen...) After Princess Zelda came back with the pillows, she put a pillow under my head and the blankets over and under my body. Then Link came to my side and held my hand.

“Hurry the baby is coming!” I cried as the contractions became closer together. “You must breathe slower.” “Take a deep breath.” “Now push!” The healer yelled. I felt the baby trying to come out but something was wrong. (”The baby was hanging on to my ribcage and kicking the healer’s hands away.”) “Push harder!” She called again “I’m pushing......as hard as I can....DAMNIT!” I screamed. “Princess, do you see the head yet.” “No, not yet!” Zelda cried. “Damnit.... GIVE....me something, LINK...you did this to....me!” (”YOU.... made me... play... the Goddamn CDI... GAMES!!!!!!”) “DAMNIT.... get this thing....out of me....NOW!” I cried as the pain got worse. I started to curse as the pain became more intense. (We know sweetie) “Damn YOU...Link!” I screamed as I looked up at him. (but afterwards I told him I was sorry.) “You must calm down.” Take deep breaths......thats it.” “Princess anything yet?” “No, mistress (You’re an effing princess! Why are you referring to the midwife, who’s lower in social status, as mistress?) something is wrong!” Zelda cried as she looked up. “What?!” The healer yelled as a look of pure shock cross her face. “The baby’s head is not facing down!” Zelda cried again.

With those words came our worst nightmare. (Don’t blame you. C-sections probably didn’t go very well back in those days) My face went white as a sheet and so did Link’s. At that moment I thought our baby was going to die. I started to cry as the thought of loosing our baby looked evident. “We must act quickly!” “We have to get the baby’s head turned!” The healer yelled as she prepared to go in and turn the baby’s head. (”Hmm, it’s dark in here. I better light a match.”) As Zelda and the healer worked quickly they managed to get the baby’s head in the right direction. (Phew! That was intense!) “We got the baby’s head facing down now PUSH!” The healer cried again. “URAGH” I screamed as I pushed with every ounce of strength I had. “Mistress I see the head!” “Now hands, feet.....” Then the next thing that I heard was music to my ears, a baby crying. (Babies aren’t born that quickly!)

“Oh Goddesses....congratulations its a boy!” Zelda cried. Tears of happiness ran down my cheeks as I squeezed Link’s hand. Then Zelda took and wrapped the tiny baby in a blanket and gave him to me. (Aren’t you forgetting a little something? Like the umbilical cord?) I cried even more as I held the tiny miracle in my arms. “He looks just like you my love.” I said softly as I looked up at Link. “We made this tiny miracle together.” I laid my head against Link’s chest as I looked at the baby’s little face. “What shall we call him?” “Since he is a boy, and it was a son you wanted you pick the name my love.” (”How about... Tingle?”) I said as I looked into Link’s eyes. “Link the second he shall be called.” Link said with pride. “After his own father.” (Uh, egotistical much?) “Named after a legend.” “Link Jr.” I said softly. “Welcome into the world little Link.” I laid there and held little Link in my arms. I now felt complete. I had Link. Now I had a son with him. This was the most beautiful gift Link gave me. (Didn’t you say that about the house he built for the two, er, three of you?) He gave me......a miracle.

So it’s a boy for the happy couple... Yay.

About the “baby hanging onto the ribcage joke”, my younger sister was a C-section birth since she wasn’t coming out of my mom and it was almost like she was crawling further up to avoid the doctor. So my mom joked that she was hanging onto her ribcage and kicking away at the hands to stay inside!

[anotherlifefic]

Chapter 33: A small Glimmer of Hope

I awoke with the sensation of small hands touching my upper arms and face, shaking and poking me as if to check if I was still alive. I groaned, and tried to swat the hands away. „She‘s moving! She‘s alive!“ „What about Link?“ „He, too. But they were very tired.“ I opened my eyes, and the first thing I saw was the childlike face of a Kokiri girl. „Oh, she‘s awake!“, the girl exclaimed. „Hello!“ I let out a soft, tired hum and sat up, rubbing the sleepy dust out of my eyes. I wasn‘t quite awake enough to realize what was going on yet. Next to me, Link also stirred awake, though much faster; eyes wide open and staring at the Kokiri sorrounding us. „You‘re all alive“, he said, voice thin with overwhelming joy. „LINK!“, a loud, female voice interrupted us, and a blur swept past me and right to Link. Oh Goddesses… that voice. I knew that voice. „What“, Link said, sounding a bit choked. Probably because Jenna was hugging him so tightly that he couldn‘t breathe. I quietly groaned and turned to the Kokiri girl who had woken me up. If memory served, her name was Fado. „What is she doing here?“ Fado shrugged. „She just came stumbling into the village right before the monsters came. She said she was Link‘s friend.“ Jenna was in tears, sobbing into Link‘s shoulder. „Oh Link, I thought I would never see you again!“ Link was quite obviously uncomfortable. „Uhm… I‘m sorry, but…. Do we know each other?“ Jenna jumped back as if he had just hit her. „What? You don‘t remember me?“ She waved her hands about. „I‘m Jenna! The woman who would have given you many beautiful strong children if you had given her a chance! We met on the road ten years ago!“ Link knit his eyebrows, and then the memory seemed to return to him. „Oh right. We travelled together for a bit before Rebecca and I got married. Goddesses, that was a long time ago.“ Then he cast me a slightly desperate look. I shrugged, kind of at a loss. „What are you doing here, Jenna?“ „Oh, I have been searching all over Hyrule for you. After Ganondorf became king, I thought you might need my help! But I couldn‘t find you. Then I remembered that you mentioned visiting Kokiri village and thought that it was worth a try! So… here I am!“ Her eyes were shining with joy. „Oh to think that after ten years I would get a chance to rekindle our romance!“ „Hold your horses. There was no romance. And there will never be a romance. In case you didn‘t listen: I am married. Quite happily.“ Link gestured over to me, and Jenna followed the gesture. Her smile faded and a sour pout took its place. „I see.“ I surpressed a condescending smirk. No need to be petty. Instead, I adressed Fado again:„Why are you all here? Why didn‘t you go back to the village after the monsters were gone?“ She nervously shuffled her feet. „We thought it would be too dangerous. The Forest Temple has not yet been infested with monsters, so we figured it would be the safest place to hide.“ „Are all of the Kokiri there?“, Link asked. „All except for Mido. He said he wanted to scout out the area, but he hasn‘t returned yet.“ Link got up and dusted himself off. „I‘ll go looking for him then. Rebecca, could you please go into the temple with the Kokiri and make sure everyone is alright?“ „Of course“, I said, though my stomach was in knots over that. I didn‘t want to let him go again. Every time he was out of my sight I felt like he would just disappear again, like he had so many times during our courtship and marriage. But he would probably be more effective in searching for Mido without having to keep an eye on me. „I‘m going with you!“, Jenna insisted, but Link shook his head almost frantically. „No! Uhm… I mean… Rebecca could surely use some help. And besides, I‘m faster when I‘m alone.“ He came over to me and hugged me. While he was doing so, he whispered:„Try not to kill each other while I‘m gone, okay?“ „I‘ll do my best“, I replied and kissed the corner of his mouth.

We could enter the Forest Temple by climbing a thick vine that had been lowered from one of the trees framing the entrance. Jenna and I went first, followed by Fado and the two other Kokiri. The inside of the temple was somewhat similar to the interior of Hyrule Castle, though obviously long abandoned and overgrown. The rest of the Kokiri were gathered in the entrance hall, big empty eyes telling of the trauma they had suffered when the monsters attacked their village. Only few of them looked up as I approached them. Some of them were injured, though only lightly. I only had very little medical knowledge, but I knew how to deal with cuts and bruises. While I treated the children‘s injuries, Jenna was hovering over my shoulder, pointedly „correcting“ everything I did and loudly wondering why Link would ever marry someone as clumsy as me. I huffed and straightened my back. „Hah! I bet Link will soon leave you and that hunched back of yours-“ „Will you shut up already?“, I snapped at her. „I don‘t know if you can look that far past yourself, but these children are scared and injured. How about you actually do something to help them instead of pestering me?!“ A small hand tugged at my shirt, and I immediately crouched down to be on eye-level with the little Kokiri who had tried to get my attention that way. „Yes, dear?“ „Are you and Link here to save us?“, he asked. Even for a Kokiri, this boy was tiny, and probably an actual child even by Kokiri standards. „We will do our very best. Kokiri Forest is still Link‘s home, after all.“ The boy was shaking, but he managed to give me a small smile. „Thank you. When they came… and killed the Great Deku Tree… we were all so scared. But with Link being here now, we all know that things will get better.“ „We will put an end to all of this, I promise“, I replied. „Link is a hero, after all.“ I couldn‘t help myself… this little boy reminded me of Gareth. I put my hand on my stomach. Naboru had said that Ganondorf had corrupted him… maybe I would even have to face my own son during this journey. Would he recognize me? What would I do? Would I even have a choice? I tried to swallow the lump in my throat and smiled at the boy. „How old are you?“ „We Kokiri don‘t count the years.“ „I see.“ I sighed. ��I have a little son, who would be about as old as you look like now.“ The boy perked up. „Really? I hope your son is alright then.“ „So do I“, I mumbled. The Kokiri scampered off, and I met Jenna‘s slightly horrified gaze when I straightened my back again. „What?“, I asked, slightly annoyed that she was still stuck to my heels instead of making herself useful. „You actually have a child with Link?!“ She seemed absolutely appalled by that. „Yes. What of it? You want to steal my child on top of constantly harrassing my husband?“ I was absolutely done with her at this point. She stomped her foot like a petulant child. „This is not fair! Why should you have everything I want?! You have the best, strongest husband and he gives you children! And what did he give me? The cold shoulder!“ I took a deep, exasperated breath, not wanting to freak out the Kokiri by losing my composure even more than I already had. „Then maybe you should learn that the world doesn‘t owe you these things.“ „Why wouldn‘t it?! After all I‘ve been through, I should at least get...“ „You won‘t get anything unless you have a serious change in attitude.“ Great, now I was talking like I was her mother. I sighed and rubbed my eyes. I was still tired from going without sleep for two days. Fado came up me. „We made you a bed over there.“ I smiled at her. „Thank you so much, Fado. That means a lot. Just let me take care of the rest of the Kokiri first.“

I spent two more hours taking care of frightened and injured Kokiri, cleaning out scratches and cooling bruises, before retiring to the pile of leaves that was my bed. But I couldn‘t fall asleep quite yet. Link wasn‘t back yet. Had something happened, either to Link or to Mido? I hoped not. On a similar pile of leaves near me, Jenna stirred, appearantly still just as awake as I was. Then, the gate to the temple opened and I heard the familiar sound of Link‘s boots approaching, accompanied by a set of smaller feet probably belonging to Mido. They were talking to each other, but I didn‘t understand what they were saying, as they were whispering. A few seconds later, Link approached me, the soft light of Navi guiding him. „I‘m back“, he whispered. I stretched out my arms, and he lowered himself onto the pile of leaves into my embrace. „Are you two alright?“, I asked softly. „Yes… Mido was hiding in a tree after being chased up there by some monsters. He didn‘t get hurt, and the monsters were so occupied with patroulling around the tree that they didn‘t even notice me until it was too late for them.“ I breathed a sigh of relief, and with Link back in my arms and all of the Kokiri safe and sound, I finally managed to fall asleep.