#oughh don't mind me i'm kind of a mess

[onemattwolf]

trying to compartmentalize the fact that he most likely blocked me so what i've sent hasn't gotten to him.

Apparently there's no real way to tell on android.

After the last message i sent him (i mean i guess the last message he probably received) i woulda blocked me too.

It was rude. I was still floating on the edge of mania. And it was very final.

Maybe the friendship ending had to happen. but not like that. Thinking he may not have gotten the apology, also explaining the extent of the unwellness at the time, is such a depressing thought.

Because he'll never know, then. That i'm sorry.

I know i need to practice radical acceptance here like my therapist keeps talking about. It happened, you did that. Move on.

But holy shit.

I'm so stupid in the grand scheme of things, specifically with people and forming any kind of relationship. but no one really clues into that anymore. i seem pretty competent these days but it just makes it worse.

I feel like i need to give up trying to get closer to people. no one really seems to want that from me, anyways. i don't know why. am i too transparent?? am i just trying to form close bonds with the wrong people??

Like, i don't even know if anyone has ever even formed a proper crush on me. Or at least one that sticks after they get to know me better. I know i'm on the aromantic spectrum and often don't form crushes, so it's sorta rich of me to be whining about this. But at the same time, sometimes i wonder if it speaks to a greater issue.

That there's something wrong with me.

[indecisive-dizzy]

Hiiiii :D

Little random but I’m thinking about DearDollops too much

So have some headcanons :DDDD

Eddie definitely helps Daisey do drag, specifically the makeup cause he loves his bestie and loves making them feel pretty

Daisey watches Eddie do his makeup. They’re just sitting there, watching their bestie completely enamored as he gets ready for whatever they planned to do together

They’ve definitely mumbled an I love you out loud and panicked once they realized. They’re stammering and stumbling over their words and Eddie’s just giggling to himself at their bestie being adorable

Unrelated but G3 Lagoona is literally Daisey I love them

Daisey loves Eddie’s eyes. They could stare into them all day

Eddie loves Daisey’s hair. He loves to mess with it, run his fingers through it, braid it when he’s feeling overwhelmed, put flowers in it, he loves it :3

Daisey definitely tells the cashier that Eddie ordered no pickles

Eddie loves carrying stuff, since that’s literally his job. He carries Daisey around for legit no reason, he just loves to carry his bestie

Also unrelated but I’m making a Saw au for welcome home and Eddie is Amanda because they’re both my favs

Daisey loves watching scary movie with Eddie cause he cuddles them whenever he’s scared (which is the whole movie)

They both wear lipstick occasionally, so I can see Daisey having a singular kiss mark on their forehead or cheek and Eddie has a bunch all over his face :3

Sleepy cuddles <3

If Eddie leaves a piece of clothes at Daisey’s place, they definitely cuddle with it. I think Eddie would have very specific kinds of cologne, so Daisey catches hints of them on the piece of clothes they have

Daisey’s so in love with Eddie it’s so unreal I love them so much

The two of them cuddling just makes me so happy I don’t even know why

Just Eddie gently playing with Daisey’s hair and hugging them closely while Daisey buries their face in his chest <3333

I’m insane I’m biting the bars of my enclosure right now I need them

I have school tomorrow 😭

Eddie and Daisey with the "Do you feel Bonita?" meme hehehehe <3

God Daisey same,,, Eddie giggling tho <3 oughh 💕💕

Scoops up bestie cuz they said they wanted a snack,, Dasiey was just on the couch lol

ik nothing about saw <3 it's too much for me (a wimp)

Yeah see Eddie tries not to overdo it, just one pretty purple kiss mark on Daisey's cheek. Only to get smothered in return (he doesn't mind, he's quite happy actually hehe)

don't make me think about what cologne Eddie would wear I'm gonna go feral akdhajdj but yeah Daisey,, as they should

Cuddles are everything bestie!! I love cuddles sm <3