#ough I'm dying
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Chonny's very first song vs his most recent song
Instrumental Links:
backlit by moonlight. [There is no official isolated instrumental so you'd just have to listen to the song & ignore the lyrics. Blame CJ/j]
20XX
[Reblog for more of a sample size if you'd like]
#this is a horrible pairing for me dude these are some of my favorite songs#like overall of my music tastes#ough I'm dying#also these songs are SO different from each other its hilarious#like i think one of the only things they share are chonnys voice. the instruments/synths used are so different too#chonny jash#cj 20xx#moss polls#also can I say that like bro made such a good song for the very first song hes ever made. like bro started out with a banger#also 20XX tho??? those synth & 8bit noises are so damn good on my brain. & its got SUCH fun directional sound#also its got saxophone#not a lot but like. saxophone my beloved#love how he just adds saxophone parts to everything now#bro added it to THA & TWWAY then went ham in Fine I'm Fine & never stopped using the damn instrument#love the saxophone character arc 💛
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thinking about how eiji's a pole vaulter and how ash talks about eiji "flying" and how eiji's associated with bird imagery and how eiji's free (unlike ash) and how eiji comes in on a plane and leaves on a plane and how ash cannot fly, ash cannot be free, how nyc is ash's prison, and how ash is the leopard who dies climbing the mountain, unable to live at such elevation, how he was trying to reach the sky and be free but was always stuck to the earth, how he chose to die instead of climbing back down, how he chose to die where he could see the sky and hope and freedom almost like a bird with eiji's letter right in front of him rather than letting everything go wrong and ruin it once again, how eiji's a failed pole vaulter anyway, how a bad fall ruined his career and grounded him (physically and emotionally), how it took flying to america and meeting ash and needing to save him and skip for him to try flying again, how he landed hard and harsh and still the thought of that escape compelled ash to protect eiji at all costs because if he could fly that means something to him, even if he doesn't think he can fly, how eiji is the manifestation of his hope and how when he breaks and asks eiji to stay with him a while he folds himself over his legs and weighs him down and traps him and grounds him, how ash fights like hell to keep eiji alive not because he thinks he can be like him (hopeful, flying, innocent), but because he makes him forget the gravity of his situation, and so he can see eiji fly again. how he wants to see him escape. how eiji is a bird and ash is a wildcat and how ash never once saw eiji as prey. how eiji never saw ash as a predator. how it is eiji's naivete that first endears ash to him, how it is his freedom and flight and removal from darkness and his ability to leave that darkness that really roots eiji in ash's blood as something essential to him keeping on living in this hell of nyc. how it is that distance from the violence and that hope for the future that ash chooses to surround himself in as he dies. how ash dies in a dream because he feels more than anything that he can't fly like eiji, that he can never leave. how his violence is a part of him and will be forever, how it weighs him down. how he wants to enjoy the view from the mountainside rather than looking up from the ground below. as if they can both fly. as if he is with him up there and not grounded. eye-to-eye with what he can't have, seeing eiji's homeland: the sky. how he dies trying to reach the top because he couldn't take retreating and trying again. how ash, tired and tired and tired and convinced it will go on forever if he crawls back down the mountain, chooses to close his life deluged in eiji, in eiji's insistence that they can fly together, in eiji's hope for him and for them, in eiji's beautiful dream. how ash dies without trying to realize that dream. how ash, in dying, destroys it.
#banana fish spoilers#I'M HAVING A FUCKING MOMENT#mutual reblogged exactly one (1) piece of ash fanart and sent me on A Multiple Hour Long Thing and now im rewatching it lol#yes i am only on episode 2 yes i am still going to write big long analysis posts ANYWAY#whatever hope this makes sense. anyway#banana fish#okumura eiji#ash lynx#asheiji#hhhhh i can't believe i've only watched this twice in like what 5.5 years?? sheesh#anywayyyyyyy i care about them a lot ok. god#and yes i DO kinda have beef with the decision to kill ash off at the end but it really does say so much About his character#that he chose to die in the way that he did even though he's been throwing his life away since episode 1#dying in peace in comfort in solitude rather than in some chaotic battlefield.... ough...... in the peace eiji alone could give him.....#anywayss i relate to ash a little more than i should so. this one's for us cool guy bottoms up#edit i uh.... i forgot it was a leopard.... in the story..... but whatever it doesn't really affect the symbolic meaning it's just embarras#ing that i forgot >;/
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day three! Domestic modern fluff because I cant angst for the life of me
#what the fuck it's so fucking hot here is it like 90°F out or something#I'm dying here I feel like those eggs in that pan#ough#kobyluweek2024#kobylu#cobylu#captain koby#koby one piece#one piece koby#captain coby#one piece coby#coby one piece#monkey d luffy#one piece luffy#luffy one piece#one piece#AudrinArt
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if i come into work with my period i should be paid $10000 an hour
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ALRIGHT WHAT'S ON FIRE
#the smell of smoke is SO thick rn I'm dying oughhh#not like a building on fire. like a forest on fire. like far away enough to not worry about fire but close enough to worry about smoke inhal#smoke inhalation 😭#ough#emmie complains
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well i survived the drive to work. here's to hoping ill make it through the shift 🫡
#im being dramatic ofc im sure ill be fine#i do have to bring my note to my supervisor cus im not actually sure who tf im supposed to give it to otherwise fjsjfjjsjf#and if it's not him he will at least be able to tell me#but anyway. yeah I'm definitely still not dying great and I'm quite annoyed that i have to be here while still sick with covid.#but well.#idk man maybe they'll send me home again.#idk how this works.#i just know that covid no longer gets any different treatment than anything else#but I've never been sick during the workweek only ever in weekends or when we were off for smth else#so#ough#shh ac
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80 or so years of life really ain't enough can I have an elf lifespan instead please? Or at least a dwarf's... I need at least a couple hundred years... Oh and a new spine every 5 or so years, if that's not too much to ask. 3. 3 years actually. Yeah, a new spine every 2 years, and a lifespan of 350-750 years, that's all I want really.
#SORRY this is such a random thing to be posting about and I guess it's a vent post haha#I suppose I've just been feeling a lot of... dread and fear lately... especially in the late hours...#''Lately'' as in on and off for most of my life but *a lot* as of the past few months#Like#Oh it's weirdly embarrassing to talk about this here it's a tad personal uh **tw (discussions of) death#But do you ever just feel paralyzed by the knowledge that one day you'll be 40? Or 60? Or 80? If you're lucky!#I worry a lot about wasting my life#I worry a lot about dying an unpleasant death#Or a painful one#I suppose I've always been gerascophobic...#But finishing school and turning 23 and not having a job and having just a hard time with my physical health lately...#I haven't been great I guess#I just feel like time has been moving so quickly lately!!!#And I've been going nowhere.#:0 not to be too much of a bummer y'all I'm not like feeling horrible rn or anything but I do need to vent I think#Cause if not it just stays coiled up inside of me.#*gah* I should channel all of this energy into Glenn in my pirate fic lol#😌 he's insecure (in part) cause he feels old#🥲 ough and I don't feel amazing about that most recent chapter but I guess that's a whole new vent#working on some different stuff for a bit.#ANYWAYS#I hope whoever happens to be reading this is having a good night ✨️#oh or day if it's day for you lol
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OKAY GUYS im back with thoughts on abbey road cd, the listening was mediocre. Because I was playing roblox as well, BUT i was paying attention Trust. BUT ABBEY ROAD IS STILL AMAZING TO ME!!!! Only song I really changed my mind on was carry that weight, LOVE it now. along with basically the rest of the album. I stopped doing everything when something play though.... george harrison when I catch you...
i also listened to with the beatles again because i just had the urge to. sorry for the lack of enthusiasm last post, I LOVE THAT ALBUM!!! that's all I got actually im suffering immense pain
#idk which cd will arrive first atp. Maybe litmw??#but anthology 1 is FINALLY coming#i can't yap yet again im DYING what the heck#but i particularly loved the instruments in abbey road#Ough. I didn't cry guys but WAHHHHH#uhm very specific part that i cherish is john going “great!!” in polythene pam#AND georges solo(?) that transitions the song to she came in through the bathroom window!!!!!!!! GUYSSSS it's everything#makes me remember how i consistently watched the beatles rockband gameplay for that song..#Okay im done I'm done#I'll make tag for next one guys#ribs cd yapathon
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FIC REC!!! :D
^I've been stuck on this fanfiction for a long time. Genuinely I am foaming at the mouth on how @cappecat writes Zib's and Mordecai's interactions. The way everything just flows together coherently is a masterpiece on it's own.
OH and it's Zib x Mordecai. :3 I am a SUCKER for this pair!! Despite me only really posting about Hellerby, this ship has a soft place in my heart. Please please PLEASE check this out!!!
(also cappecat I hope you don't mind me tagging you I spontaneously combusted when I connected two and two and realized you and a tumblr /pos)
that's all from me! <3
#fanfiction#lackadaisy#mordecai heller#dorian zibowski#lackadaisy mordecai#lackadaisy zib#fanfic rec#fanfiction reccomendations#please check this out I'm dying /pos DFGHFSDFGDF#I'm so unwell for zib and morde's relationship here pLEASE#OUGH#RHNNNGHHHHHHRHRHRHRRRRR#RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh#sorry I'm normal again#<3
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LOOK AT THIS ITS SO COOL!!!
youtube
#Found this video on accident and I already love it! :D#And the ending? OUGH PART TWO PLEASE I'M DYING ALREADY-#sonic#Youtube
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I must admit I'm getting this horrible image in my head of Tarn as that type of creepy guy who donates way too much money to a streamer and then absolutely loses it when he hears they're not single.
That's probably accurate lol. Although unlike (seemingly) most people in this fandom, I blame Megatron more for turning Tarn into that kind of obsessed freak than I do Tarn for being a freak. I mean, my view is basically "you reap what you sow/the monster you created turned around and bit you" so I don't really have sympathy for Megatron with regards to Tarn showing up and ruining his life lol. I actually really like the DJD coming in MTMTE as basically the living embodiment of karma and Megatron's comeuppance about not being able to run away from/ignore his past.
Like blah blah "no matter how sad your backstory is you're still responsible for your own actions" but also Megatron is literally 100% the reason Tarn is Like That, and Megatron also used parasocial manipulation, propaganda, and his grandiose personality to manipulate the Decepticons into worshipping/following him without question. So like. It's fiction, I don't have to be all "well they're all problematic" I can just be like "lol, lmao even" and point and laugh as Megatron gets fucked up by Tarn and the DJD because he can't talk his way out of this problem.
#squiggle answers#i'm not mad at you or thinking you're saying anything#i'm just very fond of dying of the light and i enjoy megatron suffering#i love how dying of the light is like megatron's personal torment nexus of getting trapped by his bad decisions#but also getting other people dragged down with him by accident#and then he's so fucking pathetic that he can't even compromise his 'pacifism' to save those people he dragged down#and then he lashes out in anger and becomes violent and hateful again and slaughters the whole DJD#i love that shit. love when megatron is fucked up and dysfunctional#i'm not saying i wanted him to become WORSE and like die a horrible fate per se#i'm just saying that i disagree with most of the fandom when they're like aww let this old man rest and tarn should fuck off he's a loser#i'm like nah. put megatron in the blender. don't let him just suddenly decide to be a pacifist and then that's it. make him fuck up#ough sorry it's just. i like megatron getting better but i also like him staying bad lol#like i want him to get redeemed but i also still want him to be fucked up and full of anger and hatred. if that makes sense#but yeah. not to be a tarn defender or anything but like#sometimes the fandom seems like it listened too much to the part where megatron was like#'i was happy i was at peace and you ruined everything'#meanwhile i'm sitting there like: yeah they ruined it. and so what. it's your fault. you don't get to be peaceful and happy#when you still have mistakes that you need to address and do something about instead of running away#muah. muah. muah. love dying of the light#i wanted to rip megatron apart from being so pathetic but i was also like. awww sad old man#mostly i wanted to rip him apart tho lol
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mildly despairing at how difficult it is to draw atm. i have shit thats Due soon. pls.
#lostwood.txt#rambling#fibro is hardddd#this isn't even a ''ooo im artblocked'' thing this is a fucking#''sitting up and drawing for more than 30 minutes makes me feel like i'm actively dying'' thing#ough
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so i finally finished my main playthrough last night and i WAS planning on jumping straight into my dark astarion/gale game next...but durge is calling my name...but the more i hear about durge the more i wanna do durge/astarion bc their dynamic is giving me brain damage...but that means regardless of whether i play durge or astarion origin first that's three astarion-centric playthroughs and i had promised myself i would try to not limit my choices so much...but i love him...
#oughhhh help me i'm dying#also tbh. my true neutral tav + dark astarion + lawful evil durge are going to be making a lot of the same choices too!!!!!#i was originally considering shart for a durge pt but. then i heard the mad love astarion line and it was OVER for me#argh ough agh im so indecisive send help
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#will delete this very soon but ough. had to get it off my chest for a second#when i say 'i am housebound because i am disabled and if i try to leave my house (and often while I'm in it) i feel like I'm dying'#it means that no‚ i cannot go to a hotel an hour away. or one a half hour away. i can't go to a restaurant. no i can't walk around the zoo.#i get that you are trying!! i get you want to do something fun with me#!!#but i cannot! leave the house in this state!!!! or i will curl into a ball and vomit and die badly!!!!!!!!!#and changing what we would do outside!!! does not negate the fact!! that you still want to drag my disabled ass outside!!!!!!!#i will gladly have a picnic in the yard with you‚ or do movie night in‚ or any number of things i can do without getting in a car!!!#but i cannot go out shopping at a mall or go to the cinema or anything!!! i just can't!!!!! i have told you i can't!!!!!!#just. oughghhhhhhhhhhhh help meeeeeeeee they just won't listen sometimes.........#vent
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The more I look at Crowley's Bentley filled with plants the more I can't help but think of Dirty Car by Studio Killers-
#the cloud can speak oh boi#Good Omens posting more photoshoots and activating my single neuron left be like#and listen in SK's music video there are weeds and moss growing in the back that's enough to wire my brain to make a connection#noting this for myself for possible later inspiration <3#also since when did Crowley have a shirt WITH buttons?? Hello?? I always thought he wore a v-neck what#gotta also note that down yep yep-#Aaa I'm sorry I'm practically just posting to ramble about Good Omens lately but I'm not doing much else apart from working aa#I mean I could talk about how I'm dying making a workflow/mockup of an app but I'm hating it with all my heart so nope ahah ah;;#having to also do some more character turnarounds is a bit better but still tough- there is a lot of work left for only two weeks hh#but then ough just a week more and GO can be my reward for being done-! I'll be tired but happy#and then I can also indulge into all the other stuff I left behind for lack of time oughhh cant wait cant wait
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